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Optimal Living Magazine Fit, Fabulous & Full of Faith Issue

Our Fit, Fabulous & Full of Faith Issue features an exclusive interview with Tangie Henry - the "Healthy Inspired Sistah" from Atlanta, Georgia. Start your New Year off right with the "Intentionally Loving Myself Weight Loss Challenge!"

Our Fit, Fabulous & Full of Faith Issue features an exclusive interview with Tangie Henry - the "Healthy Inspired Sistah" from Atlanta, Georgia. Start your New Year off right with the "Intentionally Loving Myself Weight Loss Challenge!"

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Winter 2017<br />

FIT, FABULOUS,<br />

FULL OF FAITH<br />

For The New Year!<br />

5<br />

&<br />

SIMPLE WAYS<br />

To Increase Your<br />

Credit Score<br />

If I Could Speak To A<br />

Fatherless<br />

Generation<br />

EventBrite<br />

Purchase Your Tickets to<br />

<strong>Fit</strong>, <strong>Fabulous</strong> & <strong>Full</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Faith</strong><br />

Woodbridge, Virginia February 25, 2017<br />

Intentionally<br />

Loving<br />

Myself:<br />

The Weight<br />

Loss<br />

Challenge


Woodbridge, VA February 25, 2017


Winter 2017<br />

Tanisha Hopson<br />

Publisher/Editor-in-Chief<br />

Mark McDonald<br />

Associate Editor<br />

The Layout Box<br />

Graphic Design<br />

DeLonda Adams<br />

Chanel Alexandria<br />

Rose Belk<br />

Janita Colbert<br />

Lynette Harrison<br />

Janice McMillian<br />

Reverend John C. McNeill, Jr.<br />

Contributing Writers<br />

4 Publisher’s Perspective<br />

5 Harvest Matters<br />

7 Feature Story<br />

10 Intentionally Loving Myself<br />

12 True Confessions <strong>of</strong> a Saved Man<br />

13 The Wifey 101 Series<br />

14 Prayer <strong>of</strong> Intercession<br />

15 Spices <strong>of</strong> Life Recipes


THE PUBLISHER’S PERSPECTIVE<br />

Walking in Wisdom for 2017<br />

A s the Editor <strong>of</strong> <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong>, I am <strong>of</strong>ten in a<br />

position to make important decisions in a short period<br />

<strong>of</strong> time. Most <strong>of</strong> the decisions I need to make are pretty<br />

obvious…<br />

However, I recently felt an uneasiness in my spirit regarding whether to travel out<br />

<strong>of</strong> state for a business trip. So, I started to inquire <strong>of</strong> the Lord concerning the<br />

matter. At first, I heard absolutely nothing at all from God. So, I decided to wait on<br />

Him, before confirming my flight arrangements. Finally, by the next morning, the<br />

Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart to simply "use wisdom."<br />

Every move<br />

you make,<br />

every step you<br />

take, whether<br />

big or small,<br />

is significant<br />

in the eyes <strong>of</strong><br />

God.<br />

Proverbs 4: 10- 14 says, “Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years <strong>of</strong> your<br />

life will be many. I instruct you in the way <strong>of</strong> wisdom and lead you along straight<br />

paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not<br />

stumble. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.”<br />

As we move forward into the year 2017, we must look at things circumspectly<br />

before making choices, because evil is not <strong>of</strong>ten displayed in plain sight. It is <strong>of</strong>ten<br />

hidden in the details that we are not privy to seeing immediately. Yet God, in His<br />

infinite wisdom, gives us opportunities to seek Him and walk in victory! He gave us<br />

the opportunity to accept Jesus Christ as the Lord <strong>of</strong> our lives; the Holy Spirit to<br />

teach us, in all things, discernment to let us know when something isn’t right, and a<br />

mind.<br />

After applying wisdom to my situation and getting the much needed peace in my<br />

heart, the choice that I made kept me from danger, helped me to maximize on my<br />

time, and worked out wonderfully for every person involved. I encourage you<br />

today to walk circumspectly in all that you do and to keep God’s Word and<br />

prayer at the epicenter <strong>of</strong> your life. Always remember, successful people walk<br />

in wisdom!<br />

Olmagazine<br />

<strong>Optimal</strong><strong>Living</strong><strong>Magazine</strong><br />

NEVER MISS OUR BLOG POSTS!<br />

www.optimal-livingmagazine.com<br />

4 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> Winter 2017


By Kelly Long<br />

5<br />

Harvest Matters<br />

Simple Ways to<br />

Increase Your<br />

Credit Score<br />

Happy New Year! One great<br />

way to get started is by understanding<br />

what your credit score<br />

is and what it means for<br />

you. For many people, without<br />

an attractive score, usually ranging<br />

from 650 or greater, you are<br />

forbidden in most cases to make<br />

certain purchases (unless you<br />

have all the cash necessary, <strong>of</strong><br />

course). In some cases, people<br />

have even been denied job opportunities<br />

and lost jobs because<br />

<strong>of</strong> their low credit scores.<br />

The beginning<br />

<strong>of</strong> the year is<br />

the perfect<br />

time to get<br />

your financial<br />

house in order.<br />

Nevertheless, being “credible” is simply a matter <strong>of</strong> positioning<br />

yourself for wealth building opportunities. In 5 simple steps, I<br />

am going to help you master and take charge <strong>of</strong> your credit<br />

score. Whether you are trying to establish or reestablish your<br />

credit score to purchase a home, a new vehicle, or to acquire<br />

a loan for a new business venture, I’m going to share with you<br />

some simple and powerful tips that can increase your FICO<br />

score to obtain your financial goals.<br />

Before you endeavor to take advantage <strong>of</strong> the tips listed<br />

below, be sure to obtain your credit report and scores. A few<br />

websites to consider are: www.creditkarma.com,<br />

www.annualcreditreport.com, and myfico.com.<br />

5 Simple Ways to Increase Your Credit Score<br />

Correct All Errors. Errors<br />

1<br />

can be found in 80% <strong>of</strong> all credit<br />

reports. It is your duty to review your report and check for<br />

errors. By law, you have the right to challenge any error that is<br />

on your report. If your dispute proves to be true, then the law<br />

requires the bureaus remove the error, which in turn will<br />

increase your score.<br />

For a free credit consultation and more<br />

information about how to<br />

restore your credit<br />

A PLUS CREDIT REPAIR SOLUTIONS<br />

800-839-0848<br />

Pay Your Bills On Time. Most people know this, but have no<br />

clue how serious this first point<br />

2<br />

is, so let me give you an example.<br />

Let’s say your credit score was a 700 and you had a mortgage<br />

or credit card that you were paying on successfully for 10<br />

years without ever being late. But one month you just so happen<br />

to miss a payment because <strong>of</strong> some hardship. I can guarantee<br />

that your score <strong>of</strong> 700 would have dropped by 50-70<br />

points because <strong>of</strong> that one missed 30-day payment. Now imagine<br />

what would happen if you missed two or more payments?<br />

Enough said. Make the intended effort to pay your bills<br />

on time in 2014!<br />

Keep all balances low. Whether you have remaining balances<br />

on your store cards, credit cards, and/or installment loans,<br />

your goal should always be to<br />

3<br />

pay them <strong>of</strong>f to zero. You may<br />

have heard that keeping a low balance on your credit cards<br />

have a positive effect, but I would challenge that and say no,<br />

not at all. The less debt you are carrying, the higher your credit<br />

score will prove to be. So if you have a card with a zero<br />

balance, surely that’s better than having a card with a 10%<br />

balance remaining. NOTE: 30% percent <strong>of</strong> your score is the<br />

amount owed on all cards and accounts.<br />

Types <strong>of</strong> credit in use. The types <strong>of</strong> accounts you have<br />

established determines 15% <strong>of</strong> your credit score on your report.<br />

What I mean by types<br />

4<br />

<strong>of</strong> credit in use is simply a diversity<br />

<strong>of</strong> accounts. You will have to establish an installment account,<br />

such as a car loan, or a borrowed loan from a banking institution<br />

while managing several credit cards (two or three credit<br />

cards, at least two). As you pay on these accounts over time,<br />

without being late, your scores will gradually increase.<br />

Don’t ever close existing accounts. You should never look<br />

to close out existing accounts, especially if you had a very positive<br />

history with the creditor.<br />

5<br />

Closing out your existing accounts<br />

because you are no longer using them could impact<br />

your score negatively. I highly recommend keeping those<br />

cards open. Another reason for keeping the cards open and<br />

active is simply due to the history behind the cards. The longer<br />

the history behind the card, the more positive effect the<br />

account will have on your score.<br />

In conclusion, if you follow these 5 simple and powerful steps,<br />

you will almost immediately see an increase in your overall<br />

FICO score. Some would have you think that fixing your credit<br />

score is next to impossible, but I would say it’s simply a matter<br />

<strong>of</strong> taking the initiative to follow the guidelines above and maintain<br />

a consistent and good history for all established accounts.<br />

After all, you were created to “be the lender, not the borrower”.<br />

Winter 2017 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> 5


What Healthy Sisters<br />

Do To Stay <strong>Fit</strong>,<br />

<strong>Fabulous</strong> and <strong>Full</strong><br />

<strong>of</strong> <strong>Faith</strong> for 2017<br />

An Interview with Tangie Henry<br />

OLM: <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong> has watched you blossom on<br />

Facebook over the years. What inspired the start <strong>of</strong> the Inspired<br />

Healthy Sistah Movement?<br />

TH: In 2012, I found myself 25 pounds overweight with borderline to high<br />

blood pressure. Working fulltime as a Registered Nurse and building a<br />

coaching business, I was running high on stress and low on sleep. After a<br />

fast with my church, I received the revelation that if I was truly going to be<br />

authentic and inspire women to live victoriously from the inside out, I had<br />

to live out that truth in my own life.<br />

OLM: In your opinion, what is the biggest challenge you see facing<br />

African American women in the struggle to get and remain healthy?<br />

TH: I believe as a culture <strong>of</strong> women we have been taught to nourish<br />

everyone but ourselves. One <strong>of</strong> the biggest hurdles I have to help my<br />

clients overcome is that they are worthy <strong>of</strong> the same love and care that<br />

they provide for others. And I am not referring to getting our hair and nails<br />

done because we have that down pat. We need to culturally stop perpetuating<br />

the “Superwoman Syndrome,” pushing through illnesses, weight<br />

challenges and emotional deficiencies. The reality is that we allocate resources<br />

for things that are important to us, and we need to put ourselves<br />

on the To-Do List and make our health a priority.<br />

OLM: Hitting the pavement isn’t for everyone, what are other<br />

workouts to stay fit and fab?<br />

TH: It is recommended that we exercise for at least 30 minutes most<br />

days <strong>of</strong> the week. That being said, variety will keep us consistent. I<br />

recommend doing whatever you enjoy that you feel you can do forever<br />

and give you the results that you desire. So whether it’s Soca, Pound <strong>Fit</strong>,<br />

Cycling, Running, Swimming, Weight Lifting or Whatever, just get moving!<br />

Winter 2017 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> 7


What Healthy Sisters Do To Stay <strong>Fit</strong>, <strong>Fabulous</strong><br />

and <strong>Full</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Faith</strong> for 2017 (continue)<br />

OLM: How much does food play in<br />

losing weight? What are a couple <strong>of</strong><br />

favorite tasty snacks that won’t give<br />

you all the calories <strong>of</strong> junk food?<br />

TH: Managing what you eat is probably<br />

THE MOST effective way to manage<br />

your weight and health, in general. It is<br />

said that weight loss is 70-80% nutrition<br />

and 20-30% exercise. The fact <strong>of</strong> the<br />

matter is that you can’t out-exercise a<br />

bad diet. So you may be burning 600<br />

calories in Spin Class, but you won’t<br />

see desired results if you’re still eating<br />

processed, fried or fast foods. My<br />

favorite tasty snacks are portioncontrolled<br />

nuts, berries and Greek<br />

yogurt.


What Healthy Sisters Do To Stay <strong>Fit</strong>, <strong>Fabulous</strong> and <strong>Full</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Faith</strong> for 2017<br />

(continue)<br />

OLM: What is the latest national marathon or local run you have<br />

been a part <strong>of</strong>?<br />

TH: In November 2015, I was training for the Disney Marathon when I<br />

broke my ankle. My recovery lasted longer than I expected so I have<br />

slowly been working my mileage back up. Of recent, I completed the<br />

Atlanta 10 Miler the weekend before my 45 th birthday. That was a huge<br />

milestone for me after coming <strong>of</strong>f <strong>of</strong> an injury and having an extended<br />

recovery process. My goal is to complete a half-marathon in the Spring<br />

and start training for a full marathon by the end <strong>of</strong> the year.<br />

OLM: How has your faith played a part in keeping "the movement"<br />

going?<br />

TH: My faith has been paramount in my message as Inspired Sistah. If<br />

it were not for my faith, I wouldn’t have anything to share. I believe God<br />

allows me to live my life “out loud” so that I can be a source <strong>of</strong> encouragement<br />

for others who are faced with similar challenges. I <strong>of</strong>ten receive<br />

messages from people who I don’t know, but they follow me on<br />

social media and are inspired by my consistent faith. That makes all <strong>of</strong><br />

those tearful talks with God in my shower so worth it!<br />

OLM: What is the scripture that you live by on a daily basis?<br />

TH: Because EVERYTHING that I’m doing is God-Inspired and God-<br />

Directed, I have to trust Him on a daily basis for my next move. So<br />

Numbers 23:19 is a constant source <strong>of</strong> encouragement for me:<br />

“God is not a man, so he does not lie.<br />

He is not human, so he does not change his mind.<br />

Has he ever spoken and failed to act?<br />

Has he ever promised and not carried it through?”<br />

Numbers 23:19 (NLT)<br />

OLM: There is a strong entrepreneurial spirit amongst women <strong>of</strong> all<br />

ages, what is a tip you have for women to start living their dreams?<br />

TH: Don’t shrink back or play small when it comes to the dreams you<br />

hold in your heart. God placed them there for a reason. Your gift is<br />

needed, so don’t allow fear, intimidation or the opinions <strong>of</strong> others to hinder<br />

you from doing the thing you have been purposed to do.<br />

OLM: What are some suggestions you can <strong>of</strong>fer our readers on<br />

staying fit, fabulous and full <strong>of</strong> faith for the year 2017?<br />

TH:<br />

Just Go! Stop contemplating, overanalyzing or making excuses. If you<br />

want to lose 50 pounds, do it. If you want to write a book, do it. If you<br />

want to start a business, DO IT. There are more resources and opportunities<br />

than ever before. The only thing holding you back is you. But<br />

most importantly, understand that having God at the center <strong>of</strong> your life is<br />

like having secret intel. His spirit will lead and guide you into all truth.<br />

Meditate on His word, rest in His promises and watch Him blow your<br />

mind with His goodness.<br />

OLM: What’s next for you in 2017?<br />

TH: In 2017, I will be expanding my Wellness and Coaching Practice to<br />

really assist women in making the shift to total wellness: Mind, Body and<br />

Spirit. Personally, I plan to continue on my own personal wellness journey<br />

and hopefully upgrade my status to tri-athlete.<br />

Winter 2017 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> 9


Intentionally Loving Myself<br />

The Weight Loss Challenge<br />

Queing Jones<br />

It made me think about<br />

how hard I'd been on<br />

myself. I decided I was<br />

going to be more<br />

compassionate.<br />

I wanted to treat<br />

myself like I would my<br />

best friend.<br />

T<br />

here was something different about the summer <strong>of</strong> 2014. I was going<br />

through a lot <strong>of</strong> different transitions. I had recently lost my job; I was<br />

moving; I had ended a relationship with the man I thought I was going<br />

to spend the rest <strong>of</strong> my life with. I was feeling hopeless in a lot <strong>of</strong><br />

different ways, and I felt like things were so out <strong>of</strong> control.<br />

I moved out <strong>of</strong> downtown Chicago and close to the water, which has always<br />

been soothing to me. The day after I moved into my new place, I went for a<br />

walk along the lake. I sat on a piece <strong>of</strong> driftwood and glanced behind me at a<br />

sign that was posted in front <strong>of</strong> a protected area <strong>of</strong> the beach. The sign said,<br />

‘Do Not Enter. Restoration in Progress.’ And I just thought, "Wow." That was a<br />

sign telling me that this journey I was on was not simply about eating right and<br />

working out. It told me that I really needed to be restored from the inside out.<br />

So I just kept walking every day. And not even to work out, but because it was<br />

soothing and helped me feel refreshed. I lost about 20 pounds that way.<br />

Around that time I went to a seminar for women who had experienced heartbreak, and came away from it with even<br />

more motivation to change my life. At the seminar someone said, "When someone breaks their leg and they're on crutches,<br />

no one says, 'You know what, you just need to throw those crutches down and just start walking." Her point was that<br />

any reasonable person understands that bone takes time to heal, but so do emotions. You have to be able to apply that<br />

same level <strong>of</strong> compassion to yourself when healing from emotional trauma.<br />

Even though I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, I was not going to say "you look disgusting" and insult myself anymore.<br />

I started to understand that I had to love myself, or I would never be successful losing weight. I literally would stand in<br />

front <strong>of</strong> the mirror and tap my belly and say, "Alright. I love you, but you'll be gone soon.”<br />

It wasn't until I was 5 or 6 months into my journey that I started changing the way I ate. I knew I didn't want a diet. I<br />

wanted a new lifestyle, something that would work for me for the rest <strong>of</strong> my life. So I tried a few different styles <strong>of</strong><br />

eating— Paleo, vegan, vegetarian—to find one that I was happy with. Before, I ate like a crazy person! Breakfast<br />

sandwiches with extra hash browns, double bacon cheeseburgers with fries, and chicken with rice and beans and loads <strong>of</strong><br />

guacamole were my favorite meals. Now, I eat mostly Paleo with lean proteins, fruits and vegetables, and healthy fats.<br />

For breakfast I like egg whites with an avocado, or I may do lean meat with some nuts. And I snack on clean, healthy<br />

foods every 2 to 3 hours.<br />

10 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> Winter 2017


About a month after I discovered clean eating, I was frustrated because I couldn't break the 200-pound mark. Then I joined<br />

a boutique weight-training gym for women. In the first month, I lost 13 pounds and broke the 200-pound barrier for the<br />

first time in 10 years. Weight training was huge for me; I later lost 60-something pounds just focusing on that alone.<br />

Before I do a workout, I say a prayer or a mantra. That can be something as simple as, "I have the strength and ability to lift<br />

more weight today." Or "Lord give me the ability to make it through this class without giving up." Or even, "You can do<br />

this!" I do a lot <strong>of</strong> self-talk. Drawing from within takes me all the way through.<br />

When I was 142 pounds in college, I was a size 8. But I'm 153 pounds now and a size 6. I weigh more, but I look leaner. So I<br />

understand now that it's not all about how much you weigh. The most important thing is that I continue to progress on my<br />

journey.<br />

Self-love helped me lose nearly 100 pounds, and I'm still going. But I don't focus so much on the scale anymore. Instead, I<br />

let my body show me my progress.<br />

If my story has inspired you to take your weight loss journey to the next level in faith, I invite you to meet me at <strong>Fit</strong>,<br />

<strong>Fabulous</strong> & <strong>Full</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Faith</strong> event in Northern Virginia on February 25, 2017. Tickets are available at<br />

www.optimallivingmagazine2017.eventbrite.com.<br />

God Bless You & I look forward to seeing you there!<br />

- Queing Jay<br />

Winter 2017 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> 11


4<br />

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and<br />

with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your<br />

children, and shall talk <strong>of</strong> them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.<br />

8<br />

You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the<br />

doorposts <strong>of</strong> your house and on your gates. - Deuteronomy 6:4-9 NKJV<br />

TRUE CONFESSIONS<br />

OF A SAVED MAN<br />

If I Could Speak<br />

To a FATHERLESS<br />

GENERATION...<br />

By Reverend John C. McNeill<br />

For a moment, consider this question: How has your earthly father prepared you for a relationship<br />

with your Heavenly Father? Or, think <strong>of</strong> it this way: How has your human parent<br />

informed your understanding <strong>of</strong> your Divine Parent, God? The sentiment <strong>of</strong> these questions,<br />

in either form, can be unsettling for many <strong>of</strong> us leading to reflect on the unfavorable shortcomings<br />

and to traumatic failures <strong>of</strong> our fathers. To others <strong>of</strong> us, these questions bring a smile<br />

or a sense <strong>of</strong> joy as we reflect on the loving and tender care <strong>of</strong> our faithful and attentive dads.<br />

The difference is seemingly clear, but the questions give a fresh vision for evaluating a father’s<br />

efforts in both scenarios. Either way, we <strong>of</strong>ten live drawing from our list <strong>of</strong> do’s or don’ts and,<br />

in either case, a “fatherlessness” may develop. The Wounded Healer’s author, Henri Nouwen,<br />

asserts that it is possible for a generation to contain “parents but no fathers.”<br />

We <strong>of</strong>ten think <strong>of</strong> it as the absenteeism <strong>of</strong> a father but there is an under considered definition<br />

that is just as tragic. Nouwen explains that a type <strong>of</strong> “fatherlessness” occurs not only or not so<br />

much in the physical absence <strong>of</strong> a father but in the diminished influence <strong>of</strong> male figures in a<br />

young person’s life. Most persons would contend that elders in a preceding generation deserve respect from the generation that succeeds it<br />

because they are older and are assumed to be largely more mature and wiser. Peer advice is ubiquitous through the evolution <strong>of</strong> social media<br />

making it possible to communicate almost anywhere and anytime. This seems to either challenge or undermine the influence <strong>of</strong> the believed<br />

authority figures. Nouwen’s perspective gives fresh weight and meaning to the impact <strong>of</strong> peer pressure in our current circumstances. Our children<br />

have the opinions and advice <strong>of</strong> their friends in the palm <strong>of</strong> their hand. Fathers, what can we do?<br />

We have a biblical mandate to be influential, loving and humble spiritual teachers in the lives <strong>of</strong> our children. Deuteronomy 6:4-9, the Shema, a<br />

central prayer to Jews in the Bible <strong>of</strong>fers a spiritual mandate for fathers. The prayer begins “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord alone…”<br />

which speaks <strong>of</strong> God’s indispensable authority with His people. We are to serve as a primary spiritual teacher for our children demonstrating for<br />

them a life lived with God and God’s authority first. We are later encouraged to love God with our heart, soul and might— the totality <strong>of</strong> our being.<br />

I found this to be an extraordinary thought and striving that fathers are to teach their children how to live life in loving fellowship with God and how<br />

to love God.<br />

Teach with humility. Think <strong>of</strong> it like this: You are a “Child <strong>of</strong> God” teaching a “Child <strong>of</strong> God.” Our children are trying to figure out the world around<br />

them. My son and I like to visit the National Zoo in Washington, DC to see the animals, especially the giant pandas. He constantly asks questions<br />

about what they eat and where they live. I enjoy sharing with him details about our Heavenly Father’s care<br />

and provision in the world. We can do this anytime; the details <strong>of</strong> our Heavenly Fathers’ love are all<br />

around us and we are to talk about it with our children with the hope that we’ve prepared them for<br />

a life-long encounters with God.<br />

Live knowing that you are not alone is this parenting journey. God, our Father Heavenly Father, is<br />

with us and provides a hopeful, clear and achievable path for an earthly father in a child’s life.<br />

Rev. John C. McNeill, Jr., M. Div., CAS, the Youth Minister at First Mount Zion<br />

Baptist Church VA, is a graduate <strong>of</strong> Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School<br />

and Lincoln University. As a youth pastor, he is responsible for overseeing and<br />

supporting youth programs that introduce young people to Christ. He actively<br />

assists in discipling them in spiritual growth, while training them in serving<br />

Christ. Reverend McNeill, Jr. is Co-President <strong>of</strong> the Prince William County<br />

Ministers Association and a Staff Consultant with Ministry Architects.<br />

He's married to Rev. Starlette McNeill and together they have a charming son,<br />

John III. Be encouraged by his blog at: thespiritualwalk.wordpress.com or<br />

contact him at jmcneill@firstmountzionbc.org.<br />

12 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> Winter 2017


The Wifey 101 Series<br />

Intimacy: The Key to Leaving<br />

and Cleaving in Marriage<br />

Leaving: Single is what we are until we choose to become married, it<br />

implies wholeness, completeness, and maturity, neither Adam nor his<br />

intended was broken in spirit before they married. Oftentimes, we<br />

enter marriage to replace the void and emptiness <strong>of</strong> our soul. God’s<br />

institution <strong>of</strong> marriage is between one man and one woman to fulfill HIS<br />

purpose on the earth, have godly seed (children) and glorify him<br />

through the union (Malachi 2:13-15). Notice in the beginning that<br />

marriage was God’s idea, he put Adam to sleep, created his wife, and<br />

awakened him when he was ready for them to meet. Adam had no<br />

knowledge <strong>of</strong> his wife until God presented her to him (Genesis 2:21-25).<br />

Perhaps, if women would remember that Adam is sleeping until God<br />

opens his eyes then they wouldn’t get so impatient and make costly<br />

decisions that make them bitter and men wouldn’t weaken their power<br />

by giving their strength to the wrong woman.<br />

Transition is the process <strong>of</strong> changing from what you were and the<br />

newness <strong>of</strong> entering into what you shall become. Notice again, they<br />

both had time with God alone before he brought them together<br />

(Genesis 2:15-20). This is crucial time. A man and woman’s first vision<br />

must be God (Genesis 2:7). Adam came into the knowledge <strong>of</strong> who he<br />

was (identity), he had a career (purpose), and he was in charge<br />

(authority). When the woman came on the scene everything was already<br />

prepared and ready for her, she entered into what God already<br />

formulated. She was intimate with him before she was ever intimate<br />

and presented to Adam. Lastly, notice that God determined when they<br />

both were ready. God established the first marriage with himself. Their<br />

marriage union was not established by their own efforts, it was first<br />

established with God himself; conversely, their union was not the<br />

establishment <strong>of</strong> the marriage, God was. The institution itself is perfect<br />

but can be destroyed by human will and choice.<br />

Leaving home is necessary to cleaving because you cannot operate<br />

your own house effectively under your parents’ dominion…not effectively.<br />

.Marriage is a ministry unto God (not man). We leave the security<br />

<strong>of</strong> parents to cleave with our spouse as written in the Bible. Becoming a<br />

glorified union means you (both) endure and overcome all challenges<br />

by remaining faithful to him.<br />

Three Keys to Intimacy in Marriage:<br />

Commitment: Commitment goes beyond duty and sacrifice. It is<br />

Imbedded in having the right attitude as you endure the hardships <strong>of</strong><br />

marriage.<br />

Covenant: The covenant is between three and not two. Remembering<br />

the covenant by choosing to depend on the covenant giver, which is<br />

God himself.<br />

Communication: Communication allows us to connect by reaffirming<br />

our intentions and listening to our spouse’s intentions.<br />

Cleaving: The Hebrew meaning for the word cleave is dabaq (da-vak).It<br />

literally means to stay with, overtake, stick together, be joined together<br />

(as by glue) to pursue closely, and to catch by pursuit. It means to attach<br />

oneself and to come upon. There is no you or me, there is only us:<br />

having one vision, one union, and one purpose. “I” gives up “me” for<br />

“us”. When we leave parents and self-centered motivations behind we<br />

can hear the Lord call our name, we learn to trust God, depend upon<br />

him, and become one in soul (mind, will, and emotions) with each other.<br />

Those not fully committed to the process will divorce because they<br />

have lost their purpose. Surrendering your will unto God will regulate<br />

your emotions. You have entered a covenant with God and your<br />

spouse by agreeing to be responsible not just for each other but to<br />

each other and God. Here is where a marriage becomes glorified: love.<br />

Love is the essence <strong>of</strong> it all, for God is love (I John 4:8). Love is able to<br />

bind the relationship together (through covenant) even when<br />

misunderstanding, confusion, anger, and discontent is prevalent in the<br />

marriage, if we let him. The love will hold you together, if we will yield<br />

to him, spend quality time with each other and by all means never lose<br />

respect for each other.<br />

Lynette is the President/Founder <strong>of</strong> WOMAN, INC (Women <strong>of</strong> God<br />

On the Move Making a Difference Achieving Greatness Now),<br />

non-pr<strong>of</strong>it organization since 2007. She is also the President/Founder<br />

<strong>of</strong> Lynette Harrison Enterprises and author <strong>of</strong>: Reduce Me to Christ,<br />

W.O.M.A.N. Lessons, and Baby I Didn’t Marry You for Your Feet!<br />

President/Founder: The W.O.M.A.N. INSTITUTE. To purchase<br />

products or to book Lynette to speak at your engagement visit:<br />

www.LHEnterprises.org.<br />

Winter 2017 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> 13


A Time <strong>of</strong> Intercession<br />

Father God in the name Jesus, we come to you thanking you for this day. We<br />

lift Your name on high and come humbly before Your throne <strong>of</strong> grace with<br />

thanksgiving in our hearts. We have no idea what this year will bring, but we<br />

rest in the fact that you are with us. We ask that you bless, protect, and pour<br />

Your favor upon our families, children, spouses, and friends.<br />

Father, we pray for divine intervention in all areas <strong>of</strong> our lives. Where there is<br />

sickness, we pray for wellness; where there is brokenness, we pray for<br />

wholeness; where there is grief, we pray for Your comfort; where there is loss,<br />

we pray for restoration. We pray that Your loving kindness will be felt<br />

throughout this land. We pray that lost souls would be restored to<br />

You from the east, west, north, and south.<br />

Father, we trust You with everything concerning us and thank You that as we<br />

speak Your Word, it will not return void. We thank You that wherever we go<br />

and whatever we do, Your favor goes with us. The effectual<br />

fervent prayer <strong>of</strong> a righteous person avails much. Therefore, we believe<br />

we receive what we pray for right now.<br />

In Jesus’ Name, Amen!<br />

14 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> Winter 2017


SPICES OF LIFE RECIPES<br />

Paleo Diet Recipes<br />

For the New Year, we are focusing on Paleo Diet Recipes that are<br />

delicious, easy to make and very healthy.<br />

Lemon Garlic Herb Crusted Paleo Salmon<br />

Servings: 4<br />

Calories: 419 kcal<br />

Ingredients<br />

3 oz Butter<br />

1 tsp Coarse Real Salt<br />

Zest <strong>of</strong> 1 Lemon<br />

1 T Fresh Parsley chopped<br />

1 t Fresh Dill chopped<br />

1 Clove Garlic minced<br />

Dash <strong>of</strong> White Pepper<br />

4 4-5 oz Wild Salmon Fillets<br />

Instructions<br />

Place all ingredients except for salmon in a small bowl<br />

and melt in the microwave for 30-45 seconds.<br />

Stir until combined. Place the salmon fillets on a<br />

parchment lined baking sheet. Using a pastry brush,<br />

coat the salmon with the lemon herb butter, evenly<br />

spreading it over the tops <strong>of</strong> each fillet.<br />

Bake in an oven preheated to 400 degrees on the top<br />

or second to top rack for 10-12 minutes, or until<br />

salmon is cooked through and flakes easily with a fork.<br />

Alternately the fish can be broiled on medium/high on<br />

the second to top rack for 8-10 minutes, or until<br />

cooked through. This method will give you a bit more<br />

crunchy, caramelized crust.<br />

Winter 2017 <strong>Optimal</strong> <strong>Living</strong> 15

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