1985-1986 Rothberg Yearbook

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!Buddy Bubba, Had A Dream...
I “I t was an awesom e dream, R o n ,” he emphasized. “I
dream t about the ’8 5 /8 6 One Year Program. I recognized
all m y friends but everything else was com pletely
different.”
“Tell me about it, ” I encouraged him only half-heartedly,
having had weird dreams myself, not always with the aid
of hallucinogens.
“Well, to begin with, ” Bubba started, “the Ulpan teachers
were always reasonable; they didn ’t appear to be on
pow er trips. No one asked me why I was late if I came to
class at 10:30 a.m.; N o one asked me to turn in
hom ework assignments. B est o f all, a ten-bus fleet o f No.
28 alephs serviced the students at Shikunei H aelef each
morning. ”
“Say what, ” I interrupted excitedly.
“No, No, N o ...” Bubba corrected me. “Say You, Say
Me. ” We both chuckled at the joke.
“It gets b etter,” Bubba continued. “Givat Ram was a
virtual palace. The kitchens had functioning stoves and
unclogged sinks. The cats never leapt onto dinner tables
in search o f a meal, and the cockroaches slept in their
own beds. ”
“ You win the fiction category, Bubba. This is by far the
best ‘dream ’ I ’ve heard yet. ”
“N o !” he objected. “This is all true; there is more: Egged
Bus drivers respected drivers o f smaller vehicles, the
banks kept normal business hours and used Black market
exchange rates, the Israeli public never talked, sm oked
(or laughed) during movies, p h oto developers never
m utilated negatives, grocery clerks never deposited cigarette
butts in m y Humus, the cleaning women sang pieces
from Billboard’s Top No. 40 when they worked and
always left enough toilet paper in the bathrooms to last
from Friday to Sunday... ”
Once again I cut Bubba off in mid-sentence. “B y any
chance, did you also have imaginary friends when you
were young?”
“R o n ,” Bubba protested, “the whole dream was truly
mad. Listen to this: the Common M arket Members
actually displayed moral conviction and endorsed an
economic b o yco tt o f Libya. The Soviet Union announced
the Chernobyl accident to the world im m ediately following
their little mishap. The ultra-orthodox o f Mea
S h e’arim kept to themselves, never recruiting students for
the Yeshivot or burning down secular bus stops... ”
“Look, Bubba, ” I blurted out, “even if this dream were
accurate, no one who has ever lived in Israel for more
than tw o m onths would believe it. ”
“Perhaps y o u ’re right, R o n ,” Bubba sighed nostalgically.
“I suppose every fantasy has its FLIGHT back to
reality. ”
Ron Lebovits