4th May (Issue 1211) - The Courier

COURIER 

THE INDEPENDENT VOICE OF NEWCASTLE STUDENTS EST 1948 

Issue 1211 Tuesday 4 May 2010 www.thecourieronline.co.uk FREE 

A.SMITH 

Biomedical 

professor 

confesses to 

child porn 

offences 

Second paedophilia case rocks University 

Caroline Argyropulo-Palmer 

Newcastle University professor 

Michael Kehoe pleaded guilty 

to child pornography charges at 

Crown Court last week, becoming 

the second University professor to 

admit to similar allegations this academic 

year. 

Kehoe admitted to four counts of 

making indecent images of children 

at the hearing on April 27. Two further 

charges, one of possession of 

indecent images of children and one 

Michael Kehoe, 

professor in 

microbiology, will 

return to Crown 

Court in June for 

sentencing 

of possession of extreme pornography, 

described in court as an “explicit, 

realistic” image of intercourse 

with a live animal, were denied and 

dropped. 

This follows the sentencing of 

former biomedical lecturer Trevor 

Jackson for child sex offences and 

possession of child pornography in 

February. 

Both were suspended by the University 

following the allegations, 

but their embarrassing abuse of 

trust has drawn negative attention 

to the faculty in stark contrast to the 

Two out of three ain’t bad: The Courier 

speaks to Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg 

THE 

usual positive press it receives for 

outstanding research. 

The counts against Kehoe which 

were dropped were suggested to be 

unlawful by the defence, Toby Hedworth 

QC, on the grounds that the 

images had been deleted. 

The prosecution, Jayne Hastings, 

agreed to this on the ground that 

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ment without the need to pursue 

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“not guilty was acceptable and “the 

counts didn’t really add anything”. 

The four counts pleaded guilty to 

were specimen counts relating to 

the four levels of image found. No 

further details were revealed, other 

than that all counts relate to the period 

of time between February 2008 

and April 2009. 

The case is now adjourned until 

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chiatrists report will have been prepared 

and given to the probation 

service for these recommendations 

to be considered before preparing 

their pre-sentence report. 

Judge Faulks told Kehoe that: “All 

options are open, I am not giving 

you any promises in adjourning for 

sentencing.” Kehoe was also made 

to sign the sex offenders register before 

leaving the court, and the prosecution 

will submit proposals for a 

sex offender’s prevention order. 

Continued on page 5 Labour land: Brown was greeted by cheering crowds at Newcastle Central Station 

News, page 9 

PM: poor 

students 

will get 

our help 

Simon Murphy News Editor 

In an exclusive interview with The 

Courier, the Prime Minister highlighted 

the future of higher education 

as one of his key priorities. 

Gordon Brown visited the city this 

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paign push before the general election 

on Thursday. 

He urged Newcastle’s students 

not to let the Conservatives “wreck” 

their future by enforcing devastating 

public sector cuts. 

Brown was keen to stress that helping 

underprivileged young people 

in Britain get a top university education 

was one of his central concerns. 

“You know, that’s what makes me 

work hard every day,” he said. 

“I want everybody who has got 

the potential to make the most of the 

opportunities that are available, so 

there are more grants this year than 

at anytime in university education. 

“Of course the balance is between 

the government’s grants, parental 

contributions and the tuition fees. 

“Graduates, on average, earn 

twice as much as people who are 

not graduates, and so as we expand 

university education, it has been 

right to say that we’ve got to get the 

balance right between what you pay 

after you graduate and what we can 

contribute to your education.” 

Brown refused to pre-empt the 

ongoing higher education funding 

review but said he hoped that it 

would be equitable. 

He added: “We want more people 

from all backgrounds to get the 

chance to go to university.” 

Brown warned against the dangers 

of a Tory government, indicating 

that they would slash the public 

services budget in the North East. 

“We are saying to the young people 

that we will not leave you in the 

same position as the Conservatives 

did in the 1980s,” he said. 

“Don’t allow the Conservatives in 

now to wreck the economy because 

we have gone a long way from sav- 

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cial recession. 

“Jobs has been the key issue for this 

region for many, many years and 

we are the party that is built around 

providing job opportunities.”

2 Tuesday 4 May 2010 THE COURIER 

The Union Society, King’s Walk, Newcastle 

upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940 

David Coverdale 

Editor 

editor.union@ncl.ac.uk 

This week The Courier features 

interviews with the leaders of both 

the Liberal Democrats and the 

Labour Party. 

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that we have been lucky enough to 

have had the unexpected chance of 

speaking to two of the three men 

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Prime Minister - quite a feat for a 

student newspaper. 

The Courier is the independent 

voice of Newcastle students and 

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interviews with Newcastle East 

candidates, we have spoken to all 

three major parties, concluding this 

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candidate Dominic Llewellyn. 

The constituency of Newcastle 

East has one of the highest student 

populations in the country, and 

it is important that those who are 

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year students automatically are, use 

their vote this Thursday. 

This is an exciting week for stu- 

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voters, and it is also an exciting 

time for The Courier to bow out at 

the end of another academic year. 

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tunity to say that it has been an 

honour to edit such an established 

and well respected publication. 

Throughout the year we have 

looked to report on the issues that 

really affect students and bring you 

the news of what is really happen- 

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of our efforts to provide readers 

with the stories they want to read. 

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who has contributed to The Courier 

this academic year and end by 

wishing my successor every success 

in her role next year. 

Editorial Team: 

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Murphy 

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Walker 

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Monson 

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The Courier is printed by: Harmsworth Printing 

Limited, Northcliffe House, Meadow 

Road, Derby, DE1 2DW. Tel: 01332 253013. 

Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully 

independent Student Newspaper of the Union 

Society at the University of Newcastle-Upon- 

Tyne. The Courier is published weekly during 

term time, and is free of charge. 

The design, text, photographs and graphics 

are copyright of The Courier and its individual 

contributors. No parts of this newspaper may 

be reproduced without the prior permission 

of the Editor. Any views expressed in this 

newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the 

individual writing, and not of The Courier, the 

Union Society or the University of Newcastleupon-Tyne. 

News Editors: Simon Murphy and Jessica Tully - courier.news@ncl.ac.uk 

University faces up to ageism debate 

Harriet King 

Newcastle University is at the centre 

of a campaign to combat ageism and 

prejudices against older people. 

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has been signed by, amongst others, 

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the University, Dr Miriam Stoppard 

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The charter aims to bring awareness 

to the issue of ageism as well 

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grows older. A major element of the 

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everyone, the public, organisations 

Newcastle University’s budget is 

to be cut by £1 million next year, 

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The cuts to higher education were 

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by more than 10 per cent last year. 

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year of 2008-9, the leaders of 152 

higher education institutions in the 

UK, including Newcastle University, 

received a total of £33,311,726 

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pensions. 

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with a salary of £244,300, almost a 

£20,000 increase from the previous 

academic year. 

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available, the highest paying institu- 

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Newly elected NUS President, 

and politicians, to support the campaign 

in order to create a society in 

which people of all ages can live 

their lives to their fullest potential. 

Professor Tom Kirkwood, Direc- 

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Health at Newcastle University 

said: “Too often, public and political 

debate has focused on population 

ageing as a negative issue, a ‘burden’ 

to be managed. 

“The campaign we are launching 

seeks to change this, recognising 

the tremendously positive contributions 

that an ageing population has 

on society, and encouraging a profound 

change in attitudes to ageing, 

informed by facts and not by out- 

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pockets with such huge pay increases 

while calling for students to be 

charged even higher fees. 

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ly divorced from the stark reality 

that faces most of us in this country, 

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ing cuts and belt-tightening exercises 

that universities are currently 

undergoing. 

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are demanding even more money 

for their institutions, there will jus- 

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already invested in the sector since 

fees were trebled little more than 

three years ago has not been well 

spent.” 

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Newcastle University get paid over 

£100,000, ten of which get paid more 

than £150,000, an increase in four 

from 2007/08. Two members of staff 

also get paid over £200,000. 

Newcastle University’s Executive 

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defended the salary increases. He 

Q&A with 

Foreign Secretary 

David Miliband 

> Page 8 

Grey matters: Newcastle University’s new ‘Changing Age’ campaign calls for a change in the negative perceptions that surround ageing and our growing ageing population 

Jessica Tully News Editor 

dated misconceptions.” 

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bring to people’s attention the bene- 

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from an ageing population and to 

dispel myths about the potential issues 

that may arise. 

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Aged said: “We’re delighted to lend 

our support to a campaign which 

embraces and celebrates the ageing 

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held perceptions about getting older 

plays a vital role in the work we do, 

and this campaign is an important 

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nation.” 

said: “The very large upward drift 

in salaries in universities is from the 

2008 national pay rise salary. 

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top end of the scale, and we were 

pretty much bottom of the Russell 

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members of the University voluntar- 

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of staff have received bonuses this 

year.” 

The 0.3 per cent cut in the University’s 

budget will come into effect 

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phasing out of additional support 

for old and historic buildings, such 

as the Armstrong Building. 

Dale said: “We are very disap- 

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and obviously we’d rather it have 

been an increase. We have £1 million 

less next year than we had this 

year, in a University whose annual 

income next year will be £380 million. 

“You have to put it in context; £1 

Newcastle University’s reputation 

as a leading centre for research 

into ageing was recognised with 

the award of a Queen’s Anniver- 

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Education, in November 2009. Lord 

Mandelson, Secretary of State for 

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said: “The winners represent a distinguished 

and sustained contribution 

to human progress and to the 

UK’s high international standing in 

education.’ 

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cate people about these issues. As 

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University budget cut as Vice-Chancellor’s pay rises 

million sounds a lot of money when 

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million is absorbable.” 

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ties, Newcastle was one of the worst 

affected by the cuts, along with Birmingham 

University. 

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year to stop the extra grants they’d 

been giving to universities who 

have got lots of old buildings, and 

Newcastle have got more than its 

fair share of old buildings. 

“Places like Northumbria across 

the road, which is mostly new buildings, 

didn’t have an historic grant to 

lose so relatively Newcastle have 

not done very well out of this.” 

Dale maintains that the University 

have done their best to re-assure both 

staff and students, and was keen to 

stress that morale in and around the 

University was essential. 

He said: “We have spent time 

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that Newcastle University is in good 

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year; it will need something very 

drastic to hit us.”

THE COURIER Tuesday 4 May 2010 3 

News 

Architecture student’s artwork displayed 

in Northumberland English Heritage site 

Elliot Bentley 

A student at Newcastle University 

has won a place in an art exhibition, 

which will see his artwork among 

those of prestigious artists. 

Ciarán Treanor, a 25-year-old Architecture 

student from Monaghan, 

Ireland, competed against the rest of 

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Belsay Fellowship, which gives students 

the opportunity to have their 

artwork displayed in ‘Extraordinary 

Measures’ at Belsay Hall, Northumberland. 

Other artists also featured in the 

exhibition include Ron Mueck, a hyper 

realist sculptor who specialises 

in bizarre oversized humans; Tessa 

Farmer, whose fairies made out of 

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press; and Mat Collishaw, a 

prominent young British artist. 

Ciarán’s work, entitled ‘Wild 

Horses’, was inspired by Belsay 

Hall’s gardens after the competition 

entrants were given a tour of 

the house and grounds. He said the 

lawn area near the stable block was 

the trigger for his work. 

“This site was interesting to me as I 

felt a sense of loss there and a sense 

of forgotten history,” he said. 

“I wasn’t expecting to win and it’s 

absolutely fantastic that I did - working 

from an art perspective rather 

than architecture has helped me 

look at the way I design. To show 

my work in the same exhibition as 

such prestigious artists is a fantastic 

opportunity.” 

Exhibition curator Judith King 

said: “It is exciting for us to be able 

to help nurture the talent of the 

younger generation, so they can see 

their work exhibited on equal terms 

with some of the established stars of 

the contemporary art scene. 

“All of the students put a huge effort 

into their fantastic ideas and it 

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winner. 

“Ciarán’s design stood out as it 

showed great imagination and his 

thinking, post research, and the way 

he translated Belsay Hall, Castle 

and Gardens, was extremely feasible. 

For visitors, the visualisation of 

this will be both inspirational and 

wonderful.” 

‘Extraordinary Measures’ will be 

taking place at Belsay Hall, Castle 

and Gardens from May 1 to September 

26. 

Laura Heads 

A former Newcastle University 

student, destined to become a city 

banker, has turned his hand to selling 

tea after the economic downturn 

revealed a sudden lack of jobs. 

22-year-old Accounting and Finance 

graduate, Adam Soliman has 

fully embraced the British passion 

for tea drinking by setting up his 

own tea company, Global Tea and 

Coffee Exchange, aimed at ‘renovating 

the UK tea market with a range 

of high quality teas’. 

He told The Courier: “A lot of the 

Wild horses: Architecture student Ciarán Treanor will see his artwork displayed at Belsay Hall in Northumberland in what Treanor describes as a “fantastic opportunity” for himself 

Graduate launches tea company after economic downturn 

teas I came across in the UK were 

insipid and bitter; I wanted to create 

a high end range of teas that would 

bring back quality into the UK market.” 

With help from his parents and 

Blackpool’s ‘Get Started’ project, 

the budding entrepreneur’s aspirations 

to set up his company were 

realised. 

He credits his initial enthusiasm 

for the idea stemmed from his visits 

to tea plantations in Vietnam, coupled 

with attending numerous conferences 

throughout Europe. 

“We were in Vietnam for three- 

and-a-half weeks and we visited 

plantations to see what went into 

growing tea. It was a great experience 

to be sat drinking tea with 

these Vietnamese farmers.” 

�� am’s 

company, is a specialist tea 

brand developed with the objective 

of having a distinct taste, strong aroma 

and superior quality to any tea 

available to buy at the moment. 

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the tea market within the UK, and 

his ultimate aim is to get his products 

sold in Selfridges or Harvey 

Nichols. 

Currently Adam sells his tea to 

restaurants, cafes and other outlets 

around the Lancaster area; 19 are 

currently listed on his website. 

All the teas are imported from Europe 

but the packaging and marketing 

are carried out by Adam in the 

UK. 

“I’m constantly on the go, it’s a 

seven day a week job at the moment 

but I am determined to make it a 

success. This is a growing market 

and lots more people are interested 

in different kinds of tea these days. 

I already have meetings set up with 

Lakeland who have a big portfolio 

of stores across the country.” 

The teas available include exotic 

choices such as Tropical Rooibos, 

the popular South African tea, 

Strawberries and Cream, Black Tea 

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the traditional teas such as English 

Breakfast. 

Eventually hoping to move into 

coffee as well, it is clear that this is 

not the end for Adam; his next job 

is to expand his business as much as 

he can and begin selling to national 

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as well as local ones


News 

University crack down on student 

Joshua Shrimpton Dean 

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The Courier� �� 

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592 

The number of Newcastle University 

students who have faced disciplinary 

over the next three years 

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Jesmond household has 

Making a noise: a Jesmond household 

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News 

behaviour 

formal disciplinary cases. 

Gray said: “Bouncers in nightclubs 

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the police. And once the student 

has spent a night in the cells and 

found that they’ve put themselves 

at risk of having a criminal record, I 

think that sometimes frightens them 

enough that they’re not going to 

touch drugs again. For a lot of them 

it’s MDMA and cannabis.” 

The Courier asked if the University 

was aware of any students being 

caught up with the recently banned 

drug mephedrone. Gray revealed 

that a number of students had 

found themselves in trouble with 

the police even before the substance 

became illegal. 

She said: “We’ve had a lot of 

mephedrone issues. We had six or 

seven cases reported before the ban 

where students had been arrested 

for possession of a class A drug, 

because mephedrone looks like cocaine. 

“When we’ve brought the students 

in they have told us that it 

was mephedrone, so the police had 

not taken any further action. The 

University did not take any further 

action because at the time it wasn’t 

an illegal drug. 

“It is something that we are getting 

very concerned about.” 

But the rise in disciplinary cases 

does not solely relate to criminal 

prosecutions. The Night Noise 

Team, which monitors noise on the 

residential streets of Jesmond, has 

extended patrols to cover every 

night of the week, instead of just at 

weekends. The result is that more 

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University for playing loud music 

and acting inappropriately. 

Telling The Courier that 21st birthday 

parties are a common cause of 

noise-related complaints, Gray said: 

“We deem noise disturbance as 

something that is bringing the University’s 

reputation into disrepute. 

“We feel that anybody who is living 

in private accommodation is still 

part of our University, their actions 

��timately 

we are trying to protect the 

reputation of the University. 

“We are not trying to act as big 

brother within the community, we 

really just want to try and act as a 

liaison between students and local 

communities so that we can live 

amicably.” 

noise equipment seized 

had £6,000 worth of audio equipment taken away by the council after noise complaints 

in their degrees. 

As a consequence of their frequent 

anti social behaviour each member 

of the household are to receive formal 

cautions that will remain on 

record for three years. 

When asked whether their frequent 

anti social behaviour has dampened 

relations between the student and 

local community one member of the 

house said: “There are over 30,000 

students living in Newcastle and so 

it would be wrong to generalise that 

the noise related incidents are fun- 

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student community.” 

Fay Paterson, Student Liaison Coordinator 

for Northumbria Police, 

told The Courier: “Local authorities 

are here to serve all aspects of the 

community. 

“It is simply a case of common 

courtesy to be respectful towards 

your neighbours with regards to 

noise levels. 

“I hope the action taken against 

these students is a lesson for everyone.” 

Students reveal they 

would strip for cash 

Larisa Brown 

Two in ten female students in Newcastle 

would strip to fund their studies. 

The poll of over 100 people also 

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in their underwear for money. 

The poll also showed that Newcastle 

students can earn more than 

£1,000 a night in strip clubs across 

the city. 

A second year Newcastle student 

studying International Business 

Management said she only became 

a stripper at Pussy Galores because 

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“It’s the easiest and fastest way to 

make money,” she said. “I was really 

struggling with money. I received 

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had to pay my own rent and living 

costs with my student loan. 

“For a private dance, lasting between 

three or four minutes I get 

paid £10 to be topless or £20 to be 

nude. 

“Alternatively clients can enjoy 

‘sit-downs’, which are private dances 

lasting periods of half an hour, 

which cost £90. 

“I have made £1,200 in one night 

before,” said the student, who 

wished to remain anonymous. 

“Although I see this job as a stopgap, 

I do enjoy it. I like the power 

trip of taking a guy’s hard earned 

cash for not much effort. 

“My father doesn’t know what I 

get up to; he would be disappointed 

to say the least: to him I will always 

be his little princess. I don’t intend 

to carry on once I have found a decent 

graduate job.” 

Another Newcastle student studying 

business, said: “I learnt to pole 

dance for a year and met lots of girls 

who were strippers. I thought it 

seemed like a good idea. 

“The club I now work in is very 

safe, with open booths and doormen 

who patrol and keep a good 

eye on us. Depending on the night I 

can earn between £100 and £800. 

“I tell most people about my job. 

My parents know I dance but since 

the club has gone fully nude I 

haven’t mentioned it. I started when 

it was a topless bar and I have been 

there for a year and a half now.” 

Pete Mercer, Newcastle Student 

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encourage students to undertake 

that type of work, not necessarily 

because I disagree with it but purely 

because I suspects girls who enter 

into this area of work often end up 

in dangerous situations that can 

lead to activities that are detrimen- 

Continued from front page 

Kehoe, 56, who was a well respected 

member of staff in the Institute for 

Cell and Molecular Biosciences, had 

his unconditional bail extended by 

the Judge. 

As well as lecturing Undergraduate 

students, Kehoe, of Eastshield 

Retraction 

‘On Monday 16 November 2009 

(issue 1199) The Courier published 

information relating to senior residents 

of INTO in the article ‘University 

exposed for exploiting post 

grads’. In this article, it was quoted 

that ‘One of my colleagues is from 

Stripped down: one Newcastle student earned £1,200 in a night at a gentleman’s club 

tal to their health.” 

A national poll of more than 1,000 

female university students, found 

that two per cent of students have 

worked in a gentleman’s club while 

at university; with almost half saying 

they took the job because it was 

“easy money”. 

The Students’ Union Student Advice 

Centre (SAC) said they had 

never been approached by a student 

who has stripped to fund their university 

studies but in the eventual- 

Hill, Morpeth, was a Biological Safe- 

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Originally from Ireland, Kehoe has 

contributed a substantial number of 

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throughout his career. 

A spokesperson for Newcastle 

University said: “Professor Kehoe 

Palestine and she is effectively 

trapped here because the borders 

have been closed’ and ‘she has had 

no support and has been trying to 

sort all this out in a second language; 

it’s appalling’. This information is 

incorrect and The Courier would 

like to apologise to the student con- 

ity, said they would look into the 

reasons behind their activity. 

A spokesperson for the SAC said: 

“We would treat every case differently 

as some people work in gentleman’s 

clubs because they enjoy it 

and some because they are desperate. 

“If the student is desperate for 

money then we would hope to be 

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their degree programme without 

having to resort to stripping.” 

was suspended after the allegations 

came to light. We are now in a position 

to consider the details of the offences 

he has admitted with a view 

to possible further action. 

“The University has fully co-operated 

with the police throughout this 

investigation.” 

cerned. The Palestinian senior resident 

would also like to add that she 

had worked for INTO for one and a 

half years and she had never been 

misled or disappointed in her work 

and INTO was one of the best and 

safest accommodations she lived in 

during her studies.


News 

Election 2010 

New kid on the 

block looking to 

kick Labour to the 

curb in Newcastle 

��News Editor 

Simon Murphy�� 

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� 

ominic Llewellyn has a 

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“I think now is just the 

time for people who 

really want to 

make real change 

happen to get 

involved in politics” 

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Fresh for the challenge: Dominic Llewellyn, the Conservative’s 26-year-old candidate for 

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Newcastle East, with David Willetts, the shadow Higher Education Minister, outside Newcastle Students’ Union this month after talking with students concerned about university funding 

Dominic Llewellyn on: 

Immigration 

“Knocking on the door 

you realise they’re really 

important. I think Britain 

��gration, 

but it does not 

�� 

immigration. When 

Labour came into power 

�� 

was about 46,000, now 

�� 

that what we need to do 

is take immigration down 

�� 

�� 

thousands.” 

Hung parliament 

“I think the problem with 

hung parliaments is people 

think they’re going 

to get more democratic 

accountability, but the 

reality is with hung parliaments 

nobody knows 

because there are lots 

�� 

�� 

��ment.” 

MP’s expenses scandal 

“What really annoys me 

as a constituent is that 

you can’t kick out your 

�� 

the moment and I think 

that you need to be able 

to do that. I think that 

we need to enable petitions 

to reach the House 

�� 

restore trust more generally 

in politics.” 

Tory plans for inheritance tax 

�� 

spun lies about the inheritance 

tax. When people 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

children isn’t on.” 

The TV debates 

��- 

�� 

think that it’s important 

that the electorate get the 

opportunity to see what 

their politicians are made 

�� 

Nick Clegg 

�� 

done really well in the 

TV debates, I think he’s 

�� 

public knowing who he 

�� 

�� 

in the debates, I would 

actually urge the public 

to take a closer look at the 

Liberal Democrats and 

what they are doing.” 

Class warfare 

“What really annoys 

me and irks me is class 

��- 

�� 

their campaign. Making 

it about people who are 

��ple 

who are not is wrong 

�� 

in politics is wrong. What 

�� 

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are rich or poor, male or 

�� 

�� 

Election 2010 

News 

Newcastle 

students 

will vote 

Tory party 

says survey 

Sophie McCoid 

�� 

�� - 

�� 

�� High 

Fliers Research placed Newcastle students 

as tenth most likely to want a 

��- 

��sities 

around the country who they 

�� 

upcoming election. 

Martin Birchall, who produced the 

�� - 

�� 

traditional stereotype. With most 

�� pecting 

to gain high earnings and 

expressing a wish to work in the 

�� 

�� 

the stereotype with many support- 

�� 

schools and wishing to pursue careers 

in education or the media. 

Students were also asked what 

�� 

�� 

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�� 

��- 

�� 

�� 

same party as their parents. 

��- 

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�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

The Courier has conducted its own 

�� 

�� 

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class backgrounds. 

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Labour lagged behind in third 

�� 

see them continue to stay in power 

�� 

change as the main reason why they 

�� 

Wes Streeting, the outgoing Presi- 

�� - 

�� 

�� 

opposing an increase in tuition top 

�� 

�� 

pledged not to support an increase 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Mr Streeting said: “For a party with 

�� ment, 

this is a real let down. 

“Students should rightly draw the 

��ernment 

is ideologically disposed 

�� 

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��tem,” 

he added.


News 

Election 2010 

‘With their head and 

hearts, students should 

be voting Labour’ 

Foreign Secretary David Miliband talks to News Editor 

Jessica Tully about the pressing issues during his time in 

the cabinet and the importance of the televised debates 

The televised debates: 

I think the debates have been good 

for democracy overall. They allow 

people to take a look at politicians 

in a setting other than the House of 

Commons or TV interviews. 

They have allowed politicians 

to question each other and I don’t 

think we should be afraid of that. I 

think that people are smart enough 

to look beneath the surface and I 

think that is what’s going to happen 

over the next ten years. 

I think they have also shown the 

substance that Gordon offers. They 

have allowed him to set out some of 

the key ideas we’ve got. I think that 

they’ve crystallised people’s doubts 

about David Cameron. 

Nick Clegg: 

I think that people know the difference 

between voting for the winner 

of a TV debate and voting for someone 

to run the country. 

Most people didn’t know Nick 

�� 

they do so he’s obviously got a boost 

out of that but I think that British 

people take a second and third look 

at a party before they vote for it. I 

think that’s what is going to happen 


Tom James 

Revered as one of the greatest stand 

ups this country has produced and 

having received adulation and great 

respect from the public after completing 

the astonishing feat of running 

42 marathons in 51 days for 

Sports Relief recently, Eddie Izzard 

has now turned his attention to the 

current election campaign and has 

once again thrown his support behind 

the Labour party. 

Appearing in Newcastle last 

Thursday as part of his campaign 

tour, Izzard met the local Labour 

candidates and members of the 

public in the Starbucks at Old Eldon 

Square. Describing himself as 

a “radical moderate”, he has been a 

member of the party since 1995, and 

also campaigned during the European 

election. 

Witty, approachable and with a 

healthy appetite for cross dressing, 

Izzard may well be the political antithesis 

of the current Prime Minister, 

but it is perhaps more his fear 

of a Conservative government more 

than a love for Gordon Brown which 

has provoked Izzard to become one 

before now and polling day. 

I think a lot more people are more 

undecided in this election than any 

election I know and I think people 

won’t make up their minds until the 

last 48 hours. 

Multiculturalism: 

I think we are much stronger as a 

society for being a diverse, multicultural 

society. I think that everyone 

has responsibilities as well as rights. 

It’s important that we integrate people 

and respect diversity. I don’t 

think we should ever be a Britain 

which locks itself out from the outside 

world. 

Nuclear weapons: 

I think that the non-proliferation 

treaty explicitly requires countries 

both to disarm and to prevent nuclear 

proliferation as well as to promote 

access to civilian nuclear power. 

The aim of this new treaty is to 

achieve peace through disarmament 

and to make sure that disarmament 

contributes towards stability because 

nuclear weapons are such 

dangerous weapons. 

Every country which signs the 

treaty as we did in the 1970s com- 

of Labour’s most vocal campaigners. 

In particular, in his ‘Brilliant Britain’ 

Labour Party campaign video 

Izzard takes issue with David Cameron’s 

claim that we are living in a 

‘broken Britain’ and after covering 

the four corners of the UK whilst 

running his marathons, Izzard is in 

mits to disarmament. I think many 

people don’t know that all the countries 

that sign the treaty, like China 

or America, we all commit to seeking 

multi- lateral disarmament that 

works and that is why the government 

has reduced its nuclear warhead 

numbers by about two thirds 

to three quarters. 

The suggestion of China as a 

nuclear power: 

It was a gross error on Mr Cameron’s 

behalf. It is a gross insult 

to put Iran and China in the same 

bracket. It shows immaturity on foreign 

affairs; in the most delicate part 

of foreign affairs. 

It is completely old fashioned to 

think about China becoming a nuclear 

threat and it’s completely old 

fashioned to think that China will 

be more likely to become a partner 

of ours if we threaten them that they 

are going to be the object of our nuclear 

deterrent. 

I think it was a very bad mistake 

and I am sorry to report that he has 

repeated it and has tried to defend 

himself. He hasn’t said that it was a 

slip. 

I think that any Newcastle student 

of International Relations would 

a better position than most to offer 

an accurate opinion on the welfare 

of the state. 

He told The Courier: “It’s the same 

old Tory Party. Behind the shop 

window of David Cameron who 

looks very nice, there’s strange people 

who are probably like the dementors 

in Harry Potter. 

Man of the world: Foreign Secretary David Miliband defended Labour’s policy on Iraq 

have done much better. It was a 

crass error and any student would 

not have made the same mistake. 

Iraq: 

If the world had known that Saddam 

Hussein did not have weapons 

of mass destruction there would be 

�� 

the resolutions by Saddam Hussein 

and no war. 

I would make the point that all the 

intelligence services of the world 

agreed that he had weapons of mass 

destruction. The UN issued a report 

documenting the WMD that he did 

not dispose of and he himself boasted 

about his WMD. 

“So, you need to be very afraid. 

Watch Harry Potter and see the dementors, 

they’ll suck your face off, 

and that’s just what probably what 

will happen.” 

Having always voted himself, for 

the Labour Party, he stressed how 

important it is for students to get 

out and vote. 

Izzard said: “The only way they 

can make a change is by voting, 

and people fought and died in the 

Second World War to keep the Nazis 

out. There would have been no 

voting, we wouldn’t have had any 

of that. 

“And back you go to the English 

Civil War the Levellers, they said: 

‘Why not one person one vote?’, and 

Cromwell said: ‘Sorry mate, you’ve 

got to have a big old house to have a 

vote’, and now it is one person one 

vote and eventually we’ll get it all 

round the world. 

“But it’s got to start here and you 

need to go in there and make your 

voice heard.” 

Fourth year Newcastle University 

German and Politics student James 

Brown went to meet Izzard. 

He told The Courier: “It was such 

a surreal experience to meet him, to 

The student vote: 

I think it is very important that students 

vote; out of self interest and 

�� 

for others. 

I think there are big issues on the 

ballot paper to do with our own 

economy and our own public service 

but also at stake are massive 

issues of climate change and massive 

issues of international disarmament. 

We need a strong reform at home 

and we also need a strong Britain 

abroad and I think that with their 

head and heart students should be 

voting Labour. 

Comedian Izzard stands up for the Labour Party 

On the road: Eddie Izzard visited Newcastle last week in support of the Labour Party 

sit next to him, to talk to him about 

changing the voting system, the national 

debt, the threat from the Tories. 

“He is an incredibly funny, intelligent 

man and I think he does a good 

job telling students to use their vote 

in a down to earth way. 

It’s good that he wears his politics 

on his sleeve, celebrities with 

political views should speak out, 

but I have to say that meeting him 

wouldn’t sway me towards or away 

from Labour.” 

Izzard also commented on celebrities’ 

involvement with politics: 

“Some people say ‘I don’t want 

to listen to a celebrity’, and I think 

�� 

“I think what we should do is 

judge celebrities on what they’ve 

done with their life and what they 

stand for, and if you’re saying ‘well 

that’s an interesting position and 

they’ve done a fairly good life’ and 

then listen to what they say and if 

you don’t then don’t listen to what 

they say.” 

Leaving with the remark “there 

will be no sunshine under the Tory 

party”, Izzard intends to run for 

election himself in ten years time.


Clegg: I want to lead the country 

As the general election looms, 

Larisa Brown talks to the man 

�� 

N 

ick Clegg said his 

breakfast this morning 

had consisted of just a 

banana, a yogurt and 

a cup of coffee, surely 

not enough to keep him battling 

through yet another day of the election 

campaign. 

Perhaps he is starting to feel the 

strain as election day is drawing 

near and his recent surge in the 

opinion polls has meant the com- 

�� 

ever before. 

With it seeming increasingly likely 

that a coalition government will de- 

�� 

politics, speculation has mounted 

as to which party the Liberal Democrats 

will support the eventuality. 

Opinions as to which side Liberal 

Democrats will hold allegiance to 

will lean, and may sway votes in 

their decision. 

When asked which party the Liberal 

Democrats would support if a 

hung parliament came to fruition, 

Clegg told The Courier: “People 

know what policies we support – 

they’re the policies in our manifesto. 

Those are the policies we are determined 

to implement.” 

Set to make a dramatic change to 

�� 

�� 

so the vast majority of people pay 

�� 

they earn, paid for by closing the 

loopholes enjoyed by the wealthy; 

breaking up the banks to create a 

new, green economy; the best start 

at school for every child; and clean, 

decent politics.” 

Making the achievement of these 

��ment, 

in opposition or in any other 

arrangement, Clegg gave little away 

with regards to whether his party 

would align themselves with Cam- 

�� 

Something that Clegg was very 

clear about was his party’s decision 

to place electoral reform at the top of 

their agenda. 

Asserting that the Alternative Vote 

system on its own is unable to deliver 

fair votes, he said: “We want a 

system where every vote counts and 

where MPs don’t have jobs for life 

in safe seats. 

�� 

government, so we can have a truly 

fair system.” 

The televised leaders’ debates 

have had unprecedented success in 

engendering people to vote in this 

general election, with a particular 

surge in voter registrations by 

young people. 

Recent polls have suggested that 

Mr Clegg’s popularity has been 

fuelled by young people, so why is 

it that this particular group is becoming 

increasingly attracted to the 

Liberal Democrats? 

Clegg said: “People engage when 

they can see it’s worth it, when they 

can see they have a choice. That’s 

what’s happening this time, and 

I think the Liberal Democrats are 

playing a big part in that. 

�� 

we’re in an election where it’s really 

clear that people don’t want to settle 

for the two old parties: they want 

something different.” 

“There will always be 

people who want to 

stop change, but you 

can be part of 

something different, 

something better” 

Clegg prides himself on leading a 

party that will deliver to the public. 

He said: “I want policies that people 

can believe in.” 

Promoting themselves as a party 

for students, Clegg has promised to 

scrap tuition fees altogether. 

“We’re the only major party that 

isn’t determined to raise fees, let 

alone scrap them. We have a plan to 

�� 

starting this autumn, anyone going 

�� 

for that year. 

“My ideal would have been to 

abolish them immediately, but that 

simply is no longer possible because 

of the awful state the economy’s 

in.” 

Perhaps one policy area that isn’t 

quite as popular amongst the students 

is Clegg’s stance on binge 

drinking. 

When asked if Clegg felt raising 

�� 

�� 

Clegg replied: “It’s really important 

��- 

ed harm without penalising people 

who drink sensibly. 

“I think it’s ridiculous that supermarkets 

can currently sell drinks 

at below-cost prices; that needs to 

stop. 

“And I think work needs to be 

done on how minimum pricing can 

be used to tackle binge drinking 

too.” 

Standing up for justice and fair- 

�� 

��- 

ments to the wider world. In a bid 

to bring peace and prosperity to others, 

Clegg looks to take direct action 

to prevent human rights abuse in 

the Middle East. 

When asked to comment about the 

�� 

told The Courier: “First of all, I want 

to see a full and fair settlement to 

�� 

means a two-state solution, with secure 

borders based on the position 

�� 

News 

Looking to the future: Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg pictured by the River Tyne in Newcastle last month as part of his campaign 

Q&A: Nick Clegg behind closed doors 

What is the most played song 

on your ipod? 

I lost my ipod, so don’t go there. 

�� 

Johnny Cash in the car. 

What is your idea of a perfect 

�� 

�� 

restaurant, where you can take 

as much time as you like getting 

to know each other and no one 

interrupts. Of course that’s only 

good if you actually get on! 

Miriam and I couldn’t really 

speak to each other when we 

�� 

great and my Spanish was virtu- 

�� 

it didn’t really matter. 

What is your favourite alcoholic 

beverage? 

Miriam’s Spanish, so we eat a 

lot of Spanish food and Spanish 

wine goes perfectly. You can’t 

beat a nice Ribera del Duero 

wine. 

What is the strangest gift that 

you have ever been given by a 

supporter? 

Well, I was quite surprised by 

the yellow baby grows I was 

sent after my third son was 

born. 

Election 2010 

“It is not in anyone’s interests for 

Israel to build new settlements in 

the occupied territories, and it’s illegal 

under international law, as are 

Hamas’ actions in targeting Israel 

for rocket attacks. 

“I’m very alarmed about the worsening 

humanitarian crisis in Gaza. 

Israel and Egypt’s blockade of Gaza 

is simply unacceptable, besides not 

being in Israel’s strategic self-interest. 

“One and a half million people are 

trapped on a piece of land about the 

size of the Isle of Wight, unable to 

get access to basic healthcare and 

construction materials to rebuild 

their homes after the bombing in 

Operation Cast Lead last year, and 

they don’t even have decent quality 

water. 

�� 

to help end the blockade is now urgent, 

and long overdue.” 

��- 

�� 

this election. Don’t listen to anyone 

who tells you it can’t be how you 

want it to be. 

“No one knows what will happen, 

we only know that all bets are off, 

and right now anything is possible. 

And don’t let anyone tell you the 

red team and the blue team are the 

only two choices you’ve got. 

“There will always be people who 

want to stop change, but you can be 

part of something different, something 

better.” 

University in warning over hung parliament dangers 

Jessica Tully News Editor 

�� 

Finance Director, Richard Dale, has 

warned that a hung parliament in 

the upcoming general election could 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� tion 

Funding Council for England 

revealed their proposed cuts, and 

Dale has said the situation will only 

get worse if no party receives an 

�� 

Dale told The Courier: “I do suspect 

that if we have a balanced parlia- 

��lays, 

and I am not sure that is necessary. 

If we knew what was going on 

we could plan to deal with it.” 

��ain 

is heading for a hung parliament 

�� 

�� 

Ladbrokes, have lowered the odds 

of a hung parliament down to as 

�� 

Dale said: “I think things should 

stay as they are as they work reasonably 

well. This is a combination 

�� 

amount of government funding and 

�� 

“I don’t particularly want to see 

that being disrupted and I don’t 

think that would be good for the 

�� 

country either. 

“In the event of a hung parliament, 

we will get less notice and fewer decisions. 

They will get to a decision 

eventually and we will have very 

little time to react to it. 

“If you have clear leadership, one 

way or the other, then we will get to 

the decisions quickly. 

“There will also be issues for the 

stock market if we get to a balanced 

parliament. And that is not good for 

�� 

However, Dale insisted that the 

�� 

outcome. 

“I don’t think anything with the 

general elections results will hit us 

dramatically until about two years 

�� 

bank, so we can protect ourselves in 

the short term against cuts.”


News 

Grand designs: Union drawings revealed 

Fran Infante Deputy Editor 

Drawings for the new Students’ 

Union building have been unveiled, 

�� 

time exactly what they can expect 

from the Union when it reopens in 

September 2011. 

The plans can be found on the sec- 

�� 

Activities centre. 

Union Society Chief Executive Simon 

Gerry told The Courier: “Our 

aim is to be a 24/7 union. 

��ting 

edge learning space divided 

into three sections; a coffee shop 

feel for the group work session, 

possibly featuring a Starbucks, a 

computer cluster and futuristic pod 

structures for private study. We 

want to offer a 24 hour alternative 

to the library. 

“The big priority of the building is 

�� 

to the student population, they will 

now all be situated on the ground 

�� 

and union shop.” 

Plans for the building have been 

��mographic, 

with a rise in postgraduate 

and international students. 

“We have reduced the number 

of bars on the premises from six 

to two and those have deliberately 

been placed below ground level to 

try and stop the union being tagged 

in students’ minds as one big bar.” 

Plans for the new basement area 

include a series of partition doors 

which can be opened or closed to 

�� 

societies can book for their own activities, 

combining what Gerry calls 

�� 

�� 

with the amount of student feedback 

we have had that the plans are 

as good as they can be at this stage. 

“We are on track to delivering a 

21st century Union for a 21st century 

student.” 

‘“A 21st century Union for a 21st century student”: Above shows what will be the back of the new Students’ Union after the project reaches completion in September 2011 

Building a future for Uganda: 

students raise money for aid trip 

Dan Robinson 

A group of Newcastle students are 

raising money in aid of a trip to 

Uganda for voluntary construction 

work. 

The 12 students, consisting of six 

boys and six girls, will be travelling 

on behalf of the Wider Mbarara 

Project and will be helping to build 

a community centre for vulnerable 

marginalised children and youths. 

The project is entirely studentorganised, 

and they must raise the 

£12,000 required for construction 

materials and employing builders 

by themselves. 

In order to achieve this target, six 

of the students recently completed 

a 140-mile coast-to-coast cycle challenge 

from Whitehaven, Cumbria to 

Tynemouth in just three days. 

The marathon began on April 13 

and, despite encountering a number 

of mishaps throughout the journey, 

the group managed to reach Tynemouth 

in one piece. 

Steven Ward, a second year Civil 

Engineering student, commented: 

“Disaster struck on the third day 

when one bike broke. However, 

walking was never an option and 

thanks to some cycling pros we 

�� 

problem, we were back on track”. 

They have already raised money 

through leg waxing, cake sales, and 

a ceilidh. However, this is the biggest 

single fundraising event of the 

project, with a target of £500 each to 

be raised. 

A specially organised club night, 

Absolute Africa, at World Headquarters 

has also been in the mix to 

raise both funds and awareness of 

the project. 

It was held last Thursday under 

a tribal theme, with Sam Jacks and 

�� 

for those involved on a successful 

night for the crew. 

All based within the Civil Engineering 

and Geosciences school of 

Newcastle University, the students 

plan to depart in June for six weeks’ 

�� 

spent travelling in Africa. 

They are the seventh consecutive 

group to go out to Mbarara, South 

West Uganda as part of the project, 

which began in 2004. With no machinery 

on site, they will be working 

with Ugandan builders to advance 

on the existing work of the project. 

Previous groups have built hospitals 

and accommodation blocks 

for AIDS orphans, while this year’s 

�� 

six-room accommodation block, before 

beginning a new one. 

�� 

as a part of the project, the students 

�� 

and spending money. They will be 

afforded no luxury, living with the 

orphans and surviving on basic 

food rations. 

They will also work for long hours, 

supporting the builders through labouring, 

digging foundations, using 

simple tools and conducting basic 

tasks. 

For more information about the 

Wider Mbarara Project or for ticket 

enquiries, please contact the group 

at widermbarara@hotmail.co.uk, or 

visit their Facebook group online. 

Students warned 

against banking scam 


Following the crisis with student 

loans at the start of this academic 

year, students’ fear of not receiving 

their loans have been played on in a 

scam email. 

Students at Nottingham University 

received the message, purporting to 

be from “Student Finance England” 

(SFE), which asked for personal details 

apparently needed in order for 

students to receive their payments. 

The NUS have informed other 

universities in case the email is sent 

elsewhere to prevent any students 

mistakenly responding. 

Many students were left without 

their loans for prolonged periods of 

time earlier this year due to administration 

errors by the Student Loans 

Company. 

�� 

the requested information exactly as 

�� 

��ment 

will be suspended because of 

�� 

�� 

Nottingham SU that the email was 

not from them, and warned students 

against responding to it, telling 

them to delete the email and not 

enter any personal details. 

Final year English Literature student 

Elizabeth Bacon said: “I think it 

is awful that someone has done this. 

People get really nervous about not 

receiving their loans, especially this 

year, and could easy reply straight 

away without thinking.” 

Jill Lincoln, the Senior Finance Adviser 

at the Union Society’s Student 

Advice Centre (SAC) stressed how 

important it is that students do not 

do that, telling The Courier: “Students 

should not reply to any emails 

from SFE until it’s been checked out 

by us, because as soon as they reply 

their bank information is no longer 

private and there is a potential for 

monies to be taken from their accounts 

. 

“Even if an email appears to be 

genuine, always check with us.” 

The SAC is open until 4pm everyday, 

and until 6pm on a Wednesday.


News 

NCL+ awards celebrate students’ 

achievements outside the classroom 

Tarren Smarr 

It was all glitz and glam for the annual 

NCL+ Achievement Awards 

sponsored by npower and the 

Alumni Association. 

The event, held on April 17, honoured 

students for their accomplishments 

outside of the classroom. 

Nominations for this prestigious 

event were open from late January 

to mid March. 

Students and societies could be 

nominated for ten different award 

categories ranging from Community 

Spirit Award to Best Society of 

the Year Award. 

��egory 

were shortlisted and invited 

to the event held at the Great North 

Museum. 

Nominees and their guests were 

entertained by speeches from the 

Vice-Chancellor of the University as 

well as the Vice-Chair of the Alumni 

Association. However, it was the 

presenters that made the night truly 

special. 

Most Improved Society of the 

Year presenter and former Union 

President, Ally Robson, used the 

infamous Wedding Crasher rules 

to demonstrate how applicable they 

are to real life. 

Robson said: “When your partner 

fails, you fail. No man is an island. 

Just like in a real society. It takes 

team work to make it all happen.” 

Robson proudly presented the 

award of Most Improved Society 

to Student Action for Refugees and 

congratulated them on their inclusion 

of all members to the success of 

the society. 

Runners up in each category received 

a prize of £100. Winners received 

£300 and a trip to the stage 

for a photo and brief question and 

answer session. 

Recipient of the Best Society of 

the Year, the Fellwalking Society, 

told the audience: “We will use this 

money to buy new tents. Ours kind 

of blew away during our last trip.” 

The night was full of surprises including 

a prize draw worth a £100 

voucher for ethicalsuperstore.com 

which was provided by the University 

Sustainability Team and presneted 

by Wallace and Gromit. 

Winner Tim Potier was called to 

the stage to receive his award and 

said with a smile: “Hi, I’m Tim. I’m 

an international student. I was not 

nominated tonight,” which was well 

received by the room. 

Winners of the night included Josie 

Vallely, Rowan Taylor, STAR (student 

Action for Refugees), Deborah 

Smith, Fellwalking Society, Gemma 

Bone, Chris Stokel-Walker, James 

Russell, Mark Crane, and Deborah 

Greenaway. 

Aimee Philipson 

��tle 

Students’ Union Media Awards 

2010 at As You Like It in Jesmond. 

The awards will celebrate a fantastic 

year for student media at Newcastle 

University and will welcome 

guests from all areas of the media 

including many past editors of The 

Courier. 

There will be two guest speakers; 

Mark Scrimshaw, the Director of 

BBC North East, and Simon Bird, 

the North East football correspondent 

for The Mirror, both Newcastle 

graduates. Guests such as former 

Courier editors, members of the 

Press Association and University 

staff will be presenting prizes to 

awards winners. 

The 20 awards categories include 

The Courier news story of the year, 

columnist of the year, and interview 

A. WILSON 

The Vice Chair of the Alumni Association, Ian Forster, and the University’s Vice-Chancellor, 

Chris Brink, enjoy their meal at the awards accompanied by Wallace and Gromit. 

Winner: Rowan Taylor AKA ‘The Penny Pincher’ picks up the NCL+ Media Award for his 

popular weekly Courier column which provides students with money-saving tips 

Union launches student media awards 

of the year as well as best daytime 

show on NSR and best male and female 

presenters on NSR. 

Winners will be walking home 

with prizes such as bound copies of 

all this year’s papers, dictaphones, 

magazine subscriptions and HMV 

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Comment Editors: Caroline Argyropulo-Palmer and Nicholas Fidler - courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk 


The phenomenon known as “Cleggmania” 

is entirely David Cameron’s 

fault. There has never been any 

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before to agree to a televised debate 

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made it a no-brainer. Unfortunately 

for him, there was one thing he had 

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After the debate, the media almost 

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Decision time: all the 

views on this week’s 

general election 

> Page 12-17 

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United Trust Bank, and went to 

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J. WHITTAKER 

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at some point during his time at 

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any memory of signing up. 

After working as a journalist 

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Communism Hungary among 

other things, he turned his hand to 

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2007. 

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may be the beginning of a new era 

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never managed to win power.


Comment 

Politicians should be heard 

not seen - the radio debate 

Jamie Gavin 

Politics is different without pictures. 

Just ask Richard Nixon. 

Those who listened to his debate 

before the 1960 US election on the 

radio thought he had won it; those 

who watched on TV gave it to 

Kennedy. Kennedy, of course, went 

on to be President. 

Nowadays, politicians and audience 

alike are all too aware of the 

power of image as well as policy, 

but I decided to leave all that 

behind for one night – and take the 

radio option for the third debate. 

As much of the country sat down 

�� 

debate series on BBC One, I turned 

to Radio Four to see if all the talk 

of style and substance really mattered, 

and if it really made difference 

what colour tie they wore, or 

whether they looked straight at the 

camera. 

The debate itself was without 

doubt the liveliest of the three. 

Dimbleby made sure they answered 

the questions, and there 

were several passionate exchanges 

Nicholas Fidler 

Comment Editor 

Searching for “David Cameron is 

a prick” on Google generates 1.13 

million results in 0.23 seconds. 

Tory-bashing: given the degree to 

which it’s been practiced during 

this election, one would reasonably 

expect it to be included as an event 

at London’s 2012 Olympics. 

Now I can appreciate that politicians, 

especially Conservative ones, 

are easy targets, but is society not 

above such juvenile behaviour? 

Harriet King 

The chances of Gordon Brown 

being Prime Minister on May 6 

are very slim. The Labour Party is 

currently in third place behind the 

Liberal Democrats. Gordon Brown 

has been criticised by the media 

for weeks - especially after last 

Wednesday’s events in Rochdale. 

Cleggmania is sweeping the country. 

Yet is Brown really the worst 

thing in British politics? 

Brown stayed in power as the 

credit crunch became a recession, 

and as the British economy slowly 

begins to improve. Many say that 

Brown’s handling of the recession 

has worsened it - that it was his 

on the economy, on immigration, 

and on child tax credits. 

Even without his good looks and 

charm, Clegg came across well on 

the radio waves. His “yes or no” 

questioning of Cameron on his 

proposed immigration cap was one 

of the highlights if the evening. 

As was Brown’s lamenting attack 

on the other candidates over child 

tax credits. The Prime Minister 

sounded both zelous and genuine 

in the exchanges, and on the radio, 

he also seemed a great deal less 

awkward. 

The radio suits Brown, and not 

just for the obvious reasons. He 

is more distinguishable through 

his voice, and he sounds like a 

true statesman against the young 

pretenders. 

As he had proved the day before, 

PR is not his thing, but policy is. 

He’s the only one to dare utter the 

word ‘manifesto’, and he went on 

�� 

As for Cameron, there was the 

usual mention of China – “We’ve 

got to stop borrowing from the 

Chinese” – after his nuclear weapons 

accusations a fortnight ago, as 

�� 

Marks and Spencer’s chief’s backing 

of his economic policy. 

But this all seemed a little less 

clear without him selling it to you 

in person – a bit like a car salesman 

Some noteworthy amendments 

to the Tories’ billboards include: 

“Vote for me and I’ll tell you where 

Maddie is”, “I’ve never voted Conservative 

before, mainly because 

I’m not a c**t” or “So yah, George 

told me he could sort the economy, 

and I just chundered everywhere!” 

Indeed, such are the hostilities 

levelled at the Conservatives, a 

moderate centre-right party, let’s 

not forget, you’d be forgiven for 

thinking they were the bastard 

offspring of the Nazis and the BNP 

themselves. 

In my constituency (a rural one) 

almost every single Conservative 

Party sign, banner or advert has 

been vandalised; either painted 

bright red or bedecked with phallic 

images and swastikas. 

actions as Chancellor that helped 

cause the problems, and that he 

should have kept tighter control 

over banks. 

The Conservatives, however, are 

advocating a move away from big 

government. A country run with 

small government would have even 

less banking regulation. The Liberal 

Democrats have no experience 

in running anything, or even being 

in opposition. 

As Britain improves do we really 

want someone in power who will 

have to learn on the job? Brown 

may not be the most popular, enigmatic 

or articulate of the leaders, 

but at least he will know what he 

is doing if he does re-enter number 

10. The accusations of bullying that 

Brown has faced have also led to 

�� 

umnists have claimed that they do 

not want someone who is unable to 

treat their employees with respect 

in power. 

Gordon Brown smiles at the end of last week’s Prime Ministerial Debate on the BBC 

trying to convince you over the 

phone. 

Cameron repeated his quest to 

“make Britain great again”, but 

without his reassuring visual appeals 

to the public at home, his 

anecdotes as well of the defence of 

his policies failed to convince the 

radio-listener, and you could hear 

Clegg and Brown chuckling in their 

microphones as the Tory party 

leader preached “fairness” whilst 

failing to justify his tax credits for 

big business. 

There was no mention of ‘Rochdale-gate’ 

on the night – only a 

brief reference by the PM that he 

was “not perfect”. Brown went on 

to lambast Clegg and Cameron to 

But why is it viewed as acceptable, 

even cool, to relentlessly bash 

those of a right-wing or conservative 

disposition? Because they tend 

to have more money than most? 

Because they tend to go to Eton and 

then Oxford? Both of these claims 

are reducible to nothing more than 

jealously. 

So what if Cameron is both 

wealthier and more intelligent that 

you or I, his wealth or intelligence 

does not preclude other people 

from achieving success in life. Jealously 

aside, there is little one can 

legitimately dislike, let alone hate 

about the Conservative Party. 

So what if you don’t enjoy foxhunting, 

tweed clothing, pheasant 

shooting, vintage wine or public 

schooling. I couldn’t care less about 

No one really knows how much 

truth lies in these stories, although 

one has to ask if Brown was not 

�� 

he heard that on top of recession, 

�� 

fronts and the threat of terrorism 

that a civil servant had left a CD 

containing thousands of individuals 

personal details that should never 

have been removed on a train? 

Under Labour this country will be 

able to continue as a welfare state. 

The NHS and state pensions will be 

safe, and although we will graduate 

with more debt than before Labour 

came to power, at least under 

Labour there was a push to get us 

here. 

Conservative elitism meant that 

under Major there was no drive to 

get people from a disadvantaged 

background into university. Labour 

has empowered us to now be the 

ones with the all important student 

vote. 

the bitter end, and his closing statement 

was the most heart-felt piece 

of listening in the debate’s entirety. 

Politics shouldn’t really be about 

image, or what you look like. It 

should be about what you say and 

do, not how you say it. Unfortunately 

though, whilst the TV 

debates are great for democracy, a 

smile here or a tie colour there can 

swing a voter, and it ought not to 

be like that. 

When the PM agreed to the debates, 

perhaps he should have been 

shrewd enough to make the suggestion 

that one of the three debates be 

broadcast solely on the radio, then 

perhaps his words might count for 

more than his awkward smile. 

Cameronaphobia is a combination of jealousy and classism 

Big Brother, Heat Magazine or any 

other celebrity-based pop-cultured 

dribble. 

In a culturally diverse pluralist 

and democratic society (an idea 

begotten of the left wing, let’s not 

forget) it is unacceptable to champion 

diversity on the one hand and 

simultaneously vandalise and belittle 

alternative cultural and political 

beliefs just because they don’t align 

with yours. 

Tory-bashing is rooted in the double 

standard that permits one-way 

discrimination. Imagine if it were 

morally permissible for people to 

laugh at those who lived in council 

houses and tower blocks, or those 

living in poverty. So why is it 

acceptable to lambast those with 

money? Time to grow up perhaps? 

�� 

If, as statistics stand, one in three 

of people currently at university get 

divorced, Labour, under Gordon 

Brown, will provide safety nets for 

if it all goes wrong and needs cannot 

be met. 

The Conservatives, with their tax 

breaks for marriages and promotion 

of the family, will not be there 

to help you pick yourself up, and 

neither will SureStart, which they 

plan to abolish. 

Yes, Labour have made mistakes. 

Yes, Labour have taken us into two 

wars. But we cannot say what the 

Conservatives would have done in 

Tony Blair’s position. After 9/11, 

something had to be done. They 

now have the easy option of criticism, 

but they supported the wars 

at the time. 

We need Gordon Brown. We may 

not like it but we need his experience, 

his cabinet and his resilience 

against the press to help us through 

the recession to its end. 

Hype 

A digital 

revolution? 

James Stubbs 

Columnist 

In this new media age the possibilities 

for ridiculing people are 

endless; in the days before computers 

we were limited to cartoons and 

impressions to satirise our politicians, 

but now with the internet no 

man or woman is safe. 

It is good for two reasons. Firstly 

it brings a far wider range of potential 

voters into the spectrum, 

allowing them to make informed 

decisions about what they really 

want, from impartial information. 

Secondly, it allows for mash-ups, 

virals, games and the like to keep 

us entertained and ground ourselves 

in reality during what has 

become an increasingly PR-driven 

debate. 

�� 

was a Facebook group devoted to 

showing vandalised Conservative 

campaign posters, mostly of David 

Cameron, with handy suggestions 

for him and his party. Some of 

the posters had been thoughtfully 

altered with addition or subtraction 

of certain words suggesting 

that Conservatives wouldn’t be 

any good in power, while another 

wild wag of a protester had simply 

scrawled ‘GAY’ on a local billboard. 

Conservatives and other parties 

alike should take note: don’t 

spend huge amounts of cash on 

airbrushed posters, just get pissed 

people on the way back from the 

pub to deface your opponents’ 

for you. Even if I were going to 

�� 

hilarious, though it does go to show 

how much some people hate the 

Tories and David Cameron, enough 

so that after a while of looking 

through the thousand or so photos 

you begin to change the way you 

think. 

Maybe that’s only if you’re a 

weak-minded person like me, but 

the sheer volume of dislike could 

really have an effect on an undecided 

person’s outlook. 

Though this isn’t all bad; take 

a look at the Cassetteboy video 

�� 

Question Time. ‘I am thoroughly 

unpleasant and really creepy’, he 

begins, ‘I’m against black people 

kissing in public. Er, I believe that 

the holocaust was an enormous 

party where the Nazis just done 

what they really had to do, so – 

�� 

Adolf Hitler.’ Out of curiosity I’ve 

looked through some of their policies, 

and really there’s not much 

need: that about sums it up. 

My favourite so far though has 

to be the game where the three 

main party leaders are standing on 

podiums, and using a mouse you 

are able to slap each man about the 

face, with each satisfying smack 

punctuated by one of their many 

soundbites. 

Other than that it serves no real 

purpose, but I’ve found it far more 

useful than the online survey I 

poured over to establish for whom 

I should vote. Telling me I was 22% 

Tory, 22%, Labour, 22% Lib Dem, 

22% Green and 12% UKIP was 

time consuming, but sadly not very 

helpful. Give me #nickcleggsfault 

on Twitter any day.


Comment 

Nick Kershaw 

The Apathetic Voter 

Voters 

�� 

tually in sympathy with the plight 

of the apathetic voter. What is the 

point of voting? In 1997, we were 

wooed by the rebranded, all singing, 

all dancing, New Labour. We 

were told that “things can only get 

better” and we believed them. 

Now, 13 years on, we have sent 

our troops into an illegal war, the 

NHS is in disarray, our education 

system continues to fail us, our 

politicians are still sleazy, corrupt 

jobsworths and we are only just 

�� 

this recession. 

Let us compare this to the Conservative 

time in power: failing 

education system, sleaze and corruption 

amongst politicians, shoddily 

run NHS, and rather disastrous 

day in 1992 when David Cameron 

stood behind Norman Lamont 

as Britain was forced out of the 

Exchange Rate Mechanism costing 

us £3.3billion. 

I am beginning to feel rather 

disenchanted with British politics. 

Our electoral system is such that it 

rarely matters who I actually vote 

for. 

What’s the point in voting for 

a party that I feel represents me 

when they are not going to win my 

constituency and therefore I will 

continue to go unrepresented in 

Parliament? 

What is it about politicians that 

means they feel that dressing down 

in an open necked shirt makes 

them look ‘approachable’ or ‘more 

human’? No, Mr. Politician, you 

look creepy and uncomfortable. 

Please, stick to your crusty old suits 

and ties, at least that actually makes 

you look like the dunce you truly 

are. 

There is one distressingly 

overused word at election time - 

‘Change.’ Really Mr. Politician? 

Are you actually going to change 

that much? Nothing is going to 

change, nothing ever will. Our 

political system and our politicians 

are entrenched. I would be more 

inclined to vote for the party that 

offers ‘Minute Incremental Differences’ 

- at least they are offering 

some semblance of the truth. Any 

political party promising ‘change’ is 

simply lying. 

If we want real change, we need a 

dictatorship. In fact, if someone ran 

for government on the premise that 

he would scrap democracy and run 

an authoritarian state, I might consider 

voting for him. That would 

spice up the political system for a 

few years; at least until he started 

random acts of ethnic cleansing. 

On second thoughts, maybe we 

scrap the whole dictator idea - can’t 

blame a man for trying though! 

Still, there is very little about 

British politics that inspires me. 

Look across the Atlantic and all 

the razzmatazz, the motorcades, 

the 80,000 people crammed into a 

stadium to hear just one man speak. 

That is more like it, a bit of drama, 

some emotion and a whole load of 

patriotism. Instead, we have Elvis 

impersonators, crumbling town 

halls and a somewhat “bigoted 

woman”. 

I think I might still vote in this 

election - gives me something to do 

- but for all those that do not potter 

off to the polling station on May 

6th ,I am beginning to understand 

where you’re coming from. 

Tarren Smarr 

The Outsider 

The United Kingdom is buzzing 

about the upcoming general election. 

Things such as the environment, 

the economy and immigration 

are hot topics up for voters like 

you to decide upon. 

Unfortunately, I have heard the 

following statement one too many 

times; “Oh the (insert particular 

group here) is going to be the top 

vote, they don’t need mine.” 

From the point of view of an 

outsider, I think it is pretty appalling 

that some of the students at 

this university who have a vote are 

not going to use it in the upcoming 

general election. If you are 

one of those people, you should be 

ashamed of yourself for not getting 

involved. 

There are people all over the 

world who would love to trade 

places with you because they live in 

Oliver Savory 

The Protest 

Voter 

In the 70s a famous piece of graf- 

�� 

doesn’t matter who you vote for, 

the government always get in. 

In this election, this quote could 

not be more true. What many 

people don’t realise is that spoiling 

your ballot paper is an acceptable 

form of protest. 

Spoiling your paper is where you 

go to the voting station, get your 

voting slip, but rather than putting 

an ‘x’ beside one of the names you 

write something else. 

This can be anything from an incomprehensible 

scribble to a small 

essay. Or my favourite, adding in 

your own box at the bottom saying 

“none of the above”. 

Like many in this country I’m sick 

of politics. I’m sick of the lies and 

corruption and I’m sick of politicians 

who only seem to care what 

a place where they don’t matter to 

�� 

have a vote at all. 

Find something you are passionate 

about and vote for the candidate 

that best supports your ideas. It’s 

�� 

to support in the election. 

For example, everyone has been 

complaining about the economy. 

Graduates cannot get jobs and other 

citizens are loosing theirs left and 

right. Yeah, you are in university 

now, but within the next few years, 

you will be one of those graduates 

seeking a job. Why not try to make 

your economic future more bright 

and vote for the candidate that you 

think will help Britain recover? 

If you think your vote won’t 

matter, you are wrong. Universityaged 

students across Great Britain 

could make all the difference. 

Statistics show that 40% of the vote 

will come from the over 65s. Students 

like you could also make that 

big of an impact. 

Just look at the last election in the 

United States for reference. There 

was an unprecedented amount of 

18-25 year olds that participated 

the public want every four years. 

The culture of greed that ended 

up bringing down the banks was 

found in Westminster with the 

expenses scandal and all parties 

were involved. Yet there have been 

no trials, or even investigations, 

into fraud. 

�� 

thieves that they will be caught and 

�� 

thieves got off relatively scot-free, 

and none of the three main parties 

are calling for them to be held accountable. 

A general election is supposed to 

be a time to debate the important issues 

facing our country. A foreign 

war should rate high. 

We have a situation where 60% of 

British believe the Afghanistan war 

was a mistake and yet none of the 

major parties will discuss it. 

We are facing a crisis for young 

people in this country. We currently 

have over one million unemployed 

people under the age of 

25. We will also be graduating with 

record amounts of debt, into an 

increasingly crowded job market. 

Yet the only solution the three 

main parties are offering us is fur- 

C. PIERCE 

by voting in the presidential election. 

States such as Virgina, which 

are known for a Republican vote, 

went Democrat. And it was largely 

because of the amount of university-aged 

students that voiced their 

opinion through their vote. Just 

think, your vote may not make the 

difference, it could be the difference. 

Don’t be one of those people who 

seeks to destroy the ballot because 

you think your vote won’t make a 

difference. Do you think students 

should be able to live in Jesmond? 

If so, you should take a gander at 

what the local parties want to do 

about the student “problem” in Jesmond. 

This vote isn’t only for the 

big time players down in London; 

it is also a vote for some local areas 

as well. So if you don’t care what 

�� 

you should care about your local 

community. 

The point is you can’t expect 

change when you are not willing 

to take part in the change yourself. 

And if you don’t partake and use 

the vote you have, don’t complain 

about the outcome. 

ther cuts in education and increased 

tuition fees. 

Like it or not we are the future of 

this country, and yet the main parties 

refuse to talk about what their 

plans are to make sure that our 

future is bright. 

I’m not asking for handouts, just 

the opportunity in the election that 

will seal our fate to be told what to 

expect. 

But why not just vote for a smaller 

party, like the Greens, as a protest 

vote? Well here’s the beauty of a 

spoiled paper. 

Firstly it counts as a vote cast, so 

knocks down everyone’s percentages, 

helping stop parties like the 

BNP retaining their deposit. 

Second, when the votes have 

been counted and the decision 

announced, all the candidates are 

taken into a room and have to go 

through all the spoiled papers one 

by one. 

They will read your comments, 

making this a far more effective 

form of protest than voting for a 

minor party. 

If, like me, you are sick of politics 

as usual, vote “none of the above” 

on May 6. 

Danny Kielty 

The Floating Voter 

Different people vote for very different 

reasons. In the 2010 General 

Election, most people will say that 

they are going to vote for the political 

party that they think will be best 

for the country, but many more will 

vote primarily for their own interests, 

or both, inducing some of us to 

continue patterns of voting passed 

down through the family. 

Now, having a conversation with 

my family about politics usually 

starts with a one-way barrage of 

party stereotypes and ends with 

a nostalgic pandering back to the 

‘good old days’ of corporal punishment. 

�� 

ence of my parents and consider the 

policies of each of the three main 

�� 

them with no clear cut decision in 

sight. 

For starters, all this talk of style 

amongst the party leaders has had 

no effect. Gordon Brown’s collapsible 

jaw and saggy smile do him no 

justice, neither does David Cameron’s 

discovery of the key to his 

wife’s make-up cabinet, whilst Nick 

Clegg looks like a Belgian solicitor, 

which is never desirable. 

It doesn’t help that Gordon Brown 

has had to have lessons to learn 

how to smile, Cameron’s debate 

speeches are being dubbed over the 

famous ‘Gap Yah’ video and Nick 

Clegg is still drunk from the fact 

that people actually remember who 

he is. 

So what about policy? With 

this I am just as confused. On the 

economy the Conservatives want 

to cut £6bn from spending, Labour 

wants to raise National Insurance 

and the Lib Dems claim they can 

make £17bn worth of savings from 

Government spending. 

As I understand it, Labour want 

to spend their way out of the recession, 

Conservatives want to cut and 

the Lib Dems want to re-distribute 

by discontinuing keystones of government 

expenditure such as the 

Trident nuclear deterrent system. 

Whether you think it is right to 

cut, spend or re-distribute, all of the 

above policies seem equally possible 

of being either a success or failure. 

The dilemma deepens. Whilst 

I was impressed by the Lib Dems 

educational proposals for smaller 

class sizes, a regional system for 

dealing with immigration and the 

discontinuance of Trident, I felt the 

Conservatives clearly had the most 

impressive stance on getting tough 

on law and order. Add to the mix 

my support for Labour’s proposals 

on pensions (especially the winter 

fuel allowance), and the confusion 

is heightened. Clearly this isn’t a 

policy pick n’ mix. So what about a 

hung parliament? 

To some, including myself, this 

has seemed more and more desirable 

but the problem is that none 

of the parties will admit to the 

prospect of compromise before they 

know their electoral position. 

Blind tactical voting sort of defeats 

the principle of policy. I think the 

only wise course of action for the 

�� 

tant and exciting election, is to let 

the ‘style and substance’ vultures, 

cronies and spin doctors rip chunks 

from each other’s manifestos and 

on May 6 vote for the one with the 

most meat left on. Politics never 

tasted so good.


Comment 

Ian Pattison 

Trade Union 

and Socialist 

Coalition 

Students should vote for the Trade 

Unionist and Socialist Coalition 

(TUSC) and other socialist candidates 

in the general election. Young 

people are being offered a bleak future. 

Youth unemployment has hit 

one million, graduate unemployment 

is growing, university places 

have been slashed, tuition fees are 

set to rise, and education could face 

cuts on an unprecedented scale 

These cuts are to pay for the recession 

caused by the ineptness and 

greed of the bankers. Instead it is 

ordinary working people that are 

being forced to pay for an economic 

crisis they did not cause. We are 

facing attacks on jobs, pay, conditions 

and public services. TUSC offers 

workers, students, pensioners 

and the unemployed a clear alternative. 

TUSC is the biggest political 

party standing in the election that 

opposes cutting public services to 

pay for the bankers’ crisis. 

At the moment even our own 

National Union of Students does 

not support free education. TUSC 

would abolish tuition fees and reintroduce 

grants for all students. 

The war in Afghanistan is growing 

increasingly unpopular. Lives 

are being lost and billions of 

pounds are being wasted. TUSC 

calls for all the troops to be brought 

home from Afghanistan now. 

Global warming is also the biggest 

environmental crisis the world 

has ever seen. Climate change has 

been caused by capitalism, by big 

business seeking bigger and bigger 

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people and our planet. TUSC calls 

for investment in publicly-owned 

and controlled public transport 

and renewable energy. Recently we 

have seen a rise of the racist BNP. 

Where the BNP have councillors 

they have consistently sided with 

the bosses and voted for cuts. 

TUSC welcomes diversity, opposes 

racism, fascism and all forms 

of discrimination. After the general 

election, abortion rights and rights 

for the LGBT community could be 

reversed. We must defend these essential 

freedoms. Billions are being 

wasted on bailouts and bonuses 

for the bankers, private companies 

are bleeding our public services 

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I have canvassed on behalf of 

Elaine Brunskill for Gateshead. She 

has been involved in many cam- 

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posing war and racism, and for free 

education. Elaine is a Unison trade 

union member and also a member 

of the Socialist Party. People are fed 

up with the main political parties, 

and angry about the cuts. 

TUSC offers a working class 

socialist alternative to the pro-cuts, 

pro-big business agenda of the 

main political parties. I therefore 

encourage students to vote for 

TUSC candidates where they can, 

and other genuine left-wing/socialist 

candidates. 

Simon Childs 

Green Party 

Having supported the Green Party 

for some time, this election has 

provided the strongest test of my 

faith as I’ve heard some persuasive 

arguments to vote for Labour in order 

to avert the disaster that would 

be a Conservative government. But 

Labour’s record in government has 

been awful; inequality, big business 

bums thoroughly licked, universities 

attacked, ditto civil liberties, 

climate change ignored. I could go 

on. 

Besides all of that, some of the 

current cabinet were in Tony Blair’s 

cabinet that went to an illegal war 

in Iraq. This makes them at best 

spineless career politicians and at 

worst war criminals. Screw voting 

for that. Just how cynical do you 

want me to be? 

And while Labour may (just) 

be the lesser of two evils, it feels 

counter-intuitive to vote for a party 

who I’ve spent most of my political 

life shouting at on Question Time, 

when I could vote for a party who 

have a brilliant record on so many 

fronts, not just the environment. 

That’s one of the biggest myths 

about the Green Party - that it’s a 

single issue party. Not that there’s 

anything wrong with a party that 

emphasises that climate change is 

the biggest challenge facing humanity 

and has a plan to deal with 

it. But if you take a look on their 

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they have policies on social justice, 

foreign policy, crime, health, education 

- everything. 

And I urge you to do just that, 

because their policies make the 

‘change’ offered by the other par- 

ties look like what it is; an empty 

slogan and nothing else. 

The Green Party wants to stop 

wasting money and lives in the 

bloody, pointless Afghanistan war. 

It wants to raise the minimum 

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that improve your summer job?). It 

wants to make university education 

free. It wants to scrap Trident. It’s 

also refreshing that the Green Party 

leader, Caroline Lucas, is not a man 

in a suit. 

In this campaign it’s nice to see a 

woman being judged for her policies 

rather than her heels like the 

other leaders’ wives. And what a 

woman she is. Articulate, passionate, 

principled and genuine, 

she’s everything Brown, Clegg and 

Cameron are not. 

Overall, “they have been able to 

do what the left hasn’t been able to 

do, which has been to put forward 

an alternative to the free market 

and sound credible,” wrote comedian 

Mark Steel. 

At a time when capitalism has 

crashed to its knees, I’ll be voting 

for a party who sees this as an opportunity 

to change things, rather 

than one which wants to return to 

business as normal. 

Gavin Callaghan 

Labour Party 

In 1997, schools were crumbling. 

Teachers were few and far between. 

Those that remained were 

still using blackboards and chalk, 

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shared between three. In hospitals, 

patients languished, sometimes 

dying in pain whilst waiting for operations, 

crime had doubled, homes 

were repossessed, and pensioners 

were living in poverty. 

As a nation, Britain had lost the 

right to place the word ‘Great’ in 

front of it. There was chronic under-investment 

in public services. 

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ers and doctors available to treat 

people, because the Conservative 

party didn’t think it was necessary 

to protect the many; rather they 

were happy to ensure the fortunes 

of the few remained as lucrative as 

possible. 

The house of parliament saw only 

one in ten women MPs. Gay people 

were denied equal rights. People 

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hour days, workers were being 

paid as little as £1 a day, because 

yes, that’s right, and I say this to 

most people my age who don’t 

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was no national minimum wage. 

So when students are out working, 

moaning about being paid 

£5.35 an hour, it could be worse; 

you could and would be earning 

less under a Conservative government, 

who opposed its introduction 

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What is essential in this election is 

that the challenges the leaders we 

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try to isolate ourselves as Cameron 

has so often tried to do in Europe 

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embrace new jobs in environmental 

technology, the creative industries 

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We will fail to embrace the jobs 

the internet provides and fall 

behind in academia and research. 

We will fail to embrace new ways 

of teaching and learning which are 

driven by technology. I challenge 

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about the key things that are of 

importance to you. 

Perhaps it is knowing there are 

police on the streets as you stumble 

back from a student night out 

which gives you a better chance of 

not being attacked or your house 

burgled? Perhaps it is knowing that 

if you develop cancer, you’re more 

likely to survive under a Labour 

government that invests more into 

research and treatment than any 

government in history? Perhaps it 

is knowing that your little brother 

and sisters who are still at school 

will have the chance to go to 

university and have the same life 

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Only Labour can ensure continued 

progress; after all is that not what 

Britain deserves? 

Larissa Brown 

Liberal Democrat 

Party 

The Liberal Democrats have seen 

an unprecedented rise in support 

after the recent televised debates, 

making them strong contenders for 

power. It can’t all be about Nick 

Clegg’s good looks, so why is it that 

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ing to believe that a liberal future 

really is the best thing for British 

politics? 

People now feel a real change can 

be achieved and that there is a better 

option to alternating Conservative 

and Labour rule. The Liberal 

Democrats are a progressive party 

who will bring fairness, reducing 

the political power hoarded by 

politicians and civil servants and 

economic power as hoarded by big 

businesses. 

Ridding the political system of 

corruption and the manipulation 

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and corporate masters will result in 

trustworthy government, properly 

accountable to the British public. 

There will be electoral reform under 

the Lib Dems, getting rid of safe 

seats and the disenfranchisement 

of voters, making sure your vote in 

local and national elections really 

will count. Clegg will phase out 

tuition fees so university is more 

affordable for those who don’t have 

the money to spend thousands of 

pounds a year on education. This 

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tached to university that it is for the 

wealthy and not the talented. 

The Liberal Democrats will promote 

good immigration and make 

sure where there is a dire shortage 

of workers, immigrants will be diverted 

to the relevant regions. They 

recognise the importance of immigrants, 

not just purely for economic 

reasons, but for contributing to 

the wealth of diversity that makes 

Britain such a unique country. 

One of the most prevalent issues 

in contemporary politics is the issue 

of climate change, something the 

Liberal Democrats have placed high 

on their agenda. 

The party will drive a massive 

programme of investment in renewable 

energy sources and will invest 

now in the green technologies 

of the future, delivering hundreds 

of thousands of new and better jobs 

in the years to come. 

The party will also help developing 

countries mitigate and adapt to 

climate change. In an increasingly 

globalised and interconnected 

political economy, it is imperative 

that Britain works constructively 

with countries within the European 

Union and the wider world. 

The Liberal Democrats don’t 

want to just uphold justice, liberty 

and fairness in Britain but they 

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others. So say goodbye to broken 

promises and make a vote that really 

counts, a vote that will change 

British politics for the future, making 

Britain a country we can once 

again be proud of. 

Parties 

Rebecca Foster 

Conservative 

Party 

The Conservative Party’s plans for 

the empowerment of the individual 

are based upon a desire to change 

and strengthen society. After a hard 

hitting recession and the crisis of 

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of the nation’s faith in government 

has been lost, and this is something 

the Conservative Party seek to 

rectify in their policies. 

Certainly, it was the Conservatives 

who took the lead in sorting 

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be published online. Such action 

represents the dedication of the 

Conservatives in restoring the public’s 

trust in government. 

The Conservatives see change 

in society as a necessary action on 

both a local and a national level. 

Nationally, the Conservatives aim 

to stop the centralisation of government 

that has ultimately damaged 

the trust of the voting public by the 

hoarding of power by anonymous 

bureaucrats in Whitehall. 

By working towards a collaborative 

democracy the Conservatives 

aim to grant each citizen a louder 

voice so that their views may be 

heard. 

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to give voters the power to ‘recall’ 

MPs guilty of serious wrongdoing 

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(providing their serious wrongdoing 

can be proven) suggesting that 

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everyone’s voice is heard. 

The Conservatives also propose to 

force parliament to debate a motion 

if one hundred thousand voters petition 

for it, consequently ensuring 

that the demands of the public are 

heard. Such policies must go hand 

in hand with establishing a government 

that has greater transparency, 

making information available to the 

public. 

The Sustainable Communities 

Act will give people more information 

and control over what is being 

spent by government agencies in 

their local area. Within the home, 

Conservatives place emphasis on 

the importance of a strong family 

unit by advocating quality family 

time, and consequently plan to 

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hours for parents of children under 

the age of 18. 

Within the wider community, the 

Conservative Party aim to empower 

citizens by creating strong neighbourhood 

groups - re-building civic 

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for independent community organisers 

to run groups, thus energizing 

local community spirit. 

Overall, a Conservative government 

would mean greater empowerment 

for the individual, a smaller 

government and a bigger society, 

by providing individuals with more 

information upon which to act, and 

a greater number of opportunities 

to make one’s voice heard.


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Electoral system 

Q&A: how it looks in Newcastle 

What constituency am I in? 

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Who currently has the seat? 

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Who is running? 

Newcastle East 

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�� The above map shows which parties currently hold the seats in the North East of England. The two constituencies that have the 

highest number of Newcastle students are Newcastle East (highlighted in white) and Newcastle Central (to its immediate left) 

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Newcastle Central 

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What are their chances? 

��Ladbrokes.com�� 

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Laura Heads 

A hung parliament - we’ve heard 

that term being thrown around a 

lot in the past three or four weeks. 

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nite possibility this time around; 

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parliament since 1947. The only 

problem is that none of us really 

know what that would mean for 

the country - it’s just a lot of political 

jargon to most. 

In layman’s terms, a hung parliament 

occurs when no party gains a 

clear enough majority in the House 

of Commons; that is to say that no 

party gains more than the number 

of MPs required to form a government. 

If it occurs in such a way as to 

leave Labour still the technical 

biggest party in Parliament then 

Gordon Brown is allowed to retain 

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leaves David Cameron and the 

Conservatives as the technical big- 

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in both possibilities Parliament will 

need to attempt to work it out. 

Nine times out of ten, a hung 

parliament will result in forming 

a coalition government, where it 

can be predicted that one or more 

of the smaller parties will side with 

either Labour or the Conservatives 

in order to give them the majority 

they need to run the country successfully 

without hindrance from 

their opposition. 

As my dad so technically put it 

the other week when this issue happened 

to come up in our household, 

if the above were to happen it 

would mean “complete social and 

economic melt down”. I’d like to 

think that this isn’t the case and a 

vast exaggeration, but unfortunately 

there is some truth to the matter. 

I’m sure we’ve all seen the political 

debates on TV and have at some 

point pointed out to our housemates/partners/families 

that the 

three leaders are essentially acting 

like spoilt children in a playground, 

arguing over every technical matter 

they can and denying profusely 

anything their opponents say about 

them and their policies, true or 

untrue. 

Expecting at least two of them to 

work together in a coalition is going 

After the public outcry about the 

BNP appearing on the BBC’s Question 

Time programme, the public 

ought to know that they will be 

seeing a lot more of BNP politicians 

in the media if a Proportional Representation 

(PR) electoral system is 

introduced at Westminster. 

Labour and the Liberal Democrats 

both favour introducing such a 

system if they are elected on May 

6. A PR system will proportionally 

represent all parties in the UK, not 

to be a very long and arduous task, 

one that will involve a lot more 

bickering and a lot less thinking 

about the public. 

There are serious, credible fears 

that a hung parliament will essentially 

form a boxing ring within 

the Houses of Parliament, where 

each of the three main parties will 

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voiced and taken on board, that it is 

them who gains the credit. 

In essence, the public, whom this 

election should be about, will be 

relegated to a back row seat to sit 

just the Liberal Democrats. 

The BNP’s success at the 2009 European 

Parliamentary election was 

possible because they were elected 

on a PR system with only 6% of the 

vote. This has secured Nick Grif- 

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entitlement to funding for his party 

and the right be heard on the TV, 

particularly the BBC. 

The PR system also means that the 

British electorate will not be able to 

get rid of any party including the 

BNP, as long as they receive a notable 

percentage share of the vote. 

Britons in EU poll data show the 

greatest concern about immigration 

among any western EU country. 

Therefore, a party like the BNP that 

is clearly anti-immigration has, and 

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and watch whilst our political system 

destroys itself from the inside 

out. 

Nick Clegg, perhaps the most 

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parliament, has already made his 

opinions very clear about who he 

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if the Conservatives were to gain 

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Labour were to retain power with 

a minority and still keep Gordon 

Brown as the Prime Minister. 

It doesn’t really leave much room 

for negotiation, and the Tories or 

In addition, PR will almost inevitably 

require a coalition of parties 

to form a majority government. 

Small parties like the BNP could act 

as kingmakers in contributing the 

few seats that are often needed to 

form majorities in PR governments. 

In return, this would force other 

parties in the coalition to take heed 

of the BNP’s policies to secure their 

votes. 

There are current examples of far 

right parties in Europe that are part 

of coalition governments. For example, 

in Denmark, where they have 

a PR system to elect their national 

government, the Danish People’s 

Party, a far right party, is part of the 

current governing coalition. 

Equally, in the Netherlands, 

where again they have a PR system, 

Labour could end up having to 

form deals and coalitions with 

smaller parties like the Green Party 

in an attempt to gain a majority. 

All three of these parties have 

vastly different plans and policies 

about how they would go about 

tackling things such as crime, immigration, 

and of course the economy. 

There is nothing in the rule books 

which dictates that any of party 

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issues, and it can be safely assumed 

that no one party will easily give 

up their ideas in favour of another. 

Geert Wilders’ Freedom Party, 

(which wants to halt immigration 

from all non-western countries, 

ban the Quaran and deport any 

Muslim who breaks the law) has 

just performed well at their recent 

local elections and is expected to be 

part of the country’s next governing 

coalition, when elections are held 

in June. 

The BNP already has two Members 

of the European Parliament 

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Labour has moved to the centre to 

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As a result, it is widely acknowledged 

that they have alienated 

some of their traditional working 

class vote base, who have been 

forced to look for other sources of 

representation. The BNP has looked 

Comment 

Hence we reach stalemate. 

Labour only needs to lose 24 seats, 

with the Conservatives gaining no 

more than 115 and the Lib Dems 

gaining no more than 263 in order 

to achieve a hung parliament. Many 

argue that this would produce 

change within our country and our 

government, and there is no way 

I can argue that this wouldn’t be 

true. 

However, whether the change will 

be the positive ‘everything’s rosey’ 

change we were expecting is seriously 

open to debate. 

Be careful what you wish for when it comes to proportional representation 

Charles Oliver 

Electoral system 

Voted, drawn and quartered: what will a hung parliament really mean? 

R. YEH 

to capitalise on this under-representation. 

The electorate’s revulsion at 

MPs’ expenses is understandable. 

However, a hung parliament with 

a strong Lib Dem vote share will 

most likely lead to a change in our 

electoral system to PR. Our current 

system is not perfect - many votes 

are wasted - but it does normally 

form strong governments, while excluding 

small parties like the BNP. 

Under the electoral reform 

proposals, the BNP will be able to 

cement their existence in British 

politics and will have the right to 

expect media coverage and interviews, 

which in turn will help to 

spread their message. The electorate 

ought to keep that in mind on 

May 6.


Life & Style Editors: Larisa Brown, Alex Felton and Ashley Fryer - courier.life@ncl.ac.uk 

life 

Economic terror and the debt burden 

“Zewdie Tamirat’s eyes were swollen shut through malnutrition and her delicate skin was no longer able to mask the skeleton 

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One girl, one day, 

three dates 

> Blind Date, page 23 

Life & Style Editor Larisa Brown discusses why debt relief helps Third World development 

Newcastle University 

has played a vital role 

in international development 

agendas. As a 

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in organisations such as Make Poverty 

History North East and the 

Jubilee debt campaign, the University 

has, over several decades, 

helped improve the quality of life 

for people living in poverty across 

the globe. 

There are 41 heavily indebted 

poor countries in the world, with 

33 of these in Africa. Both staff and 

students at Newcastle have helped 

remedy the debt burden faced by 

African countries such as Tanzania. 

Third world debt can be attributed 

to various factors, such as colonial 

exploitation, bad governance, lack 

of development, adverse terms of 

trade and growing dependence on 

assistance and loans. 

Poverty drives indebtedness as an 

initially weak state lacks the capacity 

to improve social and economic 

services in order to drive the economy, 

and a heavily indebted country 

is unable to divert much needed resources 

to key sectors of society. 

Take, for example, Zaire where 

44% of the national budget is spent 

on debt servicing. This means that, 

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programmes aimed at improving 

weak economic structures, Zaire is 

paying back money to countries in 

the Western world. 

By reducing the debt burden on 

struggling African nations, those 

countries are then better able to provide 

for their nation’s citizens, with 

the hope that Africa will become 

less poor and more developed. 

There is a widely held view that 

aid assistance, such as reducing the 

debt burden, has a negative impact 

on African nations as the countries 

become reliant upon assistance 

from the developed world, rather 

than developing their own economic 

and social structures to foster 

grass roots development. 

Aid assistance can have both positive 

and negative repercussions for 

the third world, largely dependent 

upon the credibility of the government 

in power of the country receiving 

aid. Most debt relief programmes 

make it clear that debt 

relief will only be given to countries 

meeting certain conditions. Where 

aid is managed properly and diverted 

according to need, aid contributions 

can make a positive contribution 

towards development. 

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in the world to promote poor country 

debt relief was started at the 

University of Newcastle in 1998. 

It is through the university’s commitment 

to eradicate debt in countries 

whose poverty is absolute, 

that children in countries such as 

Tanzania are now in full time education 

and living within reach of 

clean water. 

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way of helping countries give 

their citizens clean water and good 

standards of living is to write off 

their debts. 

Perhaps the most remarkable recognition 

of the University’s efforts 

to reduce poverty in developing 

countries was provided by President 

Mkapa of Tanzania who, in 

2004, formally thanked the University 

for launching a campaign for 

debt relief, saying Newcastle was 

his “greatest partner” in helping 

wage a worthy struggle to obtain 

debt relief. 

Tanzania, in 2001, as a country 

witnessing serious deterioration of 

basic services and a high and unsustainable 

debt burden, reversed 

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debt relief resources were better directed 

towards priority sectors. 

President Mkapa said, “In 2001 

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debt relief. As promised this was 

directed to the priority sectors of 

education, health, water, rural 

roads and HIV/AIDS, enabling us 

to increase resources for poverty 

reduction by 130 per cent. 

President Mkapa of 

Tanzania thanked the 

University for launching a 

campaign for debt relief 

“We have already witnessed tremendous 

successes. The primary 

school population has increased 

by 66 per cent - the greater part of 

an extra two million children – and 

the shortfall of the enrolment of 

girls has been eliminated. 

“We have built 45,000 classrooms, 

1,925 new primary schools and 

over 7,500 homes for teachers in 

partnership with their communities; 

between 2000 and 2004, we 

recruited 37, 261 new teachers, and 

retrained another 14,852.” 

Since aid assistance, the children 

in Tanzania have more books and 

the teachers are more motivated, 

improving teaching and learning 

environments. 

Hospitals have been rehabilitated 

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and the previous shortage 

of basic drugs is now history. The


Life Life & Style 

rate of immunisation has reached 

83 per cent and the introduction of 

the hepatitis vaccine has saved 20- 

25,000 lives annually. 

President Mkapa hoped that such 

initiatives as supported by Newcastle 

University would be picked up 

by more academic institutions. 

He said: “For, as this University’s 

founding statement puts it, ‘University 

staff who have enjoyed the 

privilege of higher education cannot 

be indifferent to the millions of children 

and young people deprived of 

even an elementary schooling - one 

of the greatest and most tragic effects 

of the burden of unsustainable 

debt.’” 

Of course, whilst these changes 

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from being anywhere near on equal 

footing with schools and hospitals 

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cancellation would enable the country 

to further develop these key sectors 

and subsequently improve the 

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“We believe AIDS is the 

worst catastrophe ever to hit 

the world” 

Newcastle University is regularly 

doing more to assist countries such 

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in the passing of the so-called Vul- 

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University was the only university 

in the country to back a campaign to 

protect poor countries from investment 

companies buying up poor 

country debts at knock-down prices 

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David Golding, Professor of Ma- 

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that “most aid has helped the undoubted 

progress shown by the 

continent in recent years, not least 

in the growth of primary schooling 

and the provision of ARV drugs for 

AIDS.” 

UNICEF’s Executive Director says 

“We believe AIDS is the worst catastrophe 

ever to hit the world.” 

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ing with HIV in sub-Saharan Africa, 

with 18.3% adults living with HIV 

in South Africa in 2006. 

Over 18 million African children 

will have lost one or both parents to 

AIDS. Millions of children not yet 

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totally responsible for younger siblings; 

millions of weak and impoverished 

elderly people are left to 

care for grandchildren. 

Whilst many people see the problem 

of HIV and AIDS as a never 

ending battle, it is important that 

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HIV and AIDS can be won. 

With more assistance, countries 

can invest even more in health care, 

mitigating the plight of the sick and 

the dying, and blocking the development 

of full blown AIDS by drug 

use. 

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ported and the rate of new infec- 

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ily available in Africa. 

Rather than blaming ‘aid’ for sustaining 

the underdevelopment of na- 

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rather look at the unfair internation- 

al trade rules; enforced repayment 

of illegitimate, inherited debts; and 

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taking from third world countries 

far more than the amount they are 

receiving in aid. 

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just hasn’t been enough to outweigh 

the negative impact of rich govern- 

ments, companies and investment 

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Golding shared his own thoughts 

on this matter, saying, “I don’t believe 

Western countries deliberately 

set out to oppress poor nations, but 

the effects of our policies on the 

ground amount to nothing less than 

economic terror.” 

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Life & Style 

Fashion 

fashion 

Election trends: support your party 

Jack Porteous’ how-to 

guide for dressing the 

part for your party 

Want to dress to show your party 

political allegiance? Then this is the 

advice for you. 

With the excitement of the election 

coming up, there couldn’t possibly 

be a better time to start dressing like 

your political views! 

Conservative: Whoever knew that 

tweed was back in fashion? 

The key to dressing like a Tory is 

wearing something itchy, but resisting 

the urge to actually itch yourself. 

Anything woollen, including that 

Take the centre stage with your look this summer 

Kate McDonald takes 

a look at the must-wear 

summer fashions for 

festival-goers 

It is that time of year again. The sun 

is (hopefully) shining, impossible 

amounts of camping paraphernalia 

and crates of alcohol are crammed 

into tiny student cars as the summer 

pilgrimage begins…yes kids it 

is festival season. 

It truly is the perfect combination – 

all of your favourite musicians and 

people in the same place at the same 

time. 

However, we stumble upon that 

what’s hot 

Maxi dresses 

Embrace long, 

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and pastels with 

feminine maxi 

dresses; perfect 

for both beach 

and evening 

wear 

Tailored shorts 

High-waist or 

long-length, these 

chic alternatives to 

generic hot pants 

look great with 

stripy t-shirts or 

summery blouses 

jumper your nan knitted you for 

Christmas. Boys, get the loafers out 

and for the girls, get out that petticoat 

you’ve been hiding for the last 

50 years. 

Be sure to accessorise with classy 

jewellery for the ladies and naff 

hairdos for the boys. 

And remember, nothing screams 

outdated views like a strong musty 

smell. Don your hunting cap, go to 

the streets and party like it’s 1928. 

(Unless you’re a fox or the economy, 

in which case it’s advisable to stay 

indoors). 

Labour: Want to look like you’re 

from an industrial city in the North 

of England? Think grey. Grey suits, 

grey socks, grey tights. Just grey. 

What the people voting for you 

eternal question, just what does one 

wear? 

Yes, while it is once again time to 

channel the forever loved and eternally 

cool vibes emanating from 

Kate “Miss Festival” Moss, this year 

I urge you to think beyond. What 

with the rise and rise of “The Gaga” 

it would seem that almost all fashion 

taboos have been broken. 

I put it to you festival-goers that 

in the wake of last year’s infamous 

Glastonbury geometric mirrored 

�� 

been given your fashion license to 

thrill. 

The great thing about festivals is 

that they give you a carte blanche; 

you can get away with just about 

anything. 

Chunky, oversized 

cardigans 

Chunky, oversized 

cardigans – perfect 

to throw on in the 

evening when it 

starts to get a bit 

chilly; knitted or 

woolly these 

cardigans feel almost 

like wearing a hug 

don’t know is that your suit is Armani 

thanks to your new mates in 

the city and your massive expenses 

claims. 

Oh, and try and cover up the 

stench of sweat. I know you’ve been 

running for 13 years but there’s no 

need to smell quite so desperate and 

pathetic. 

Lib Dem: Worried by your new 

place in the spotlight of British politics? 

Well don’t be. Continue to be the 

collection of oddballs you were before 

the sudden increase in attention, 

just don’t let your mate with 

dreads and the ginger beard wear a 

Lib Dem badge, it’ll put the voters 

off. 

Remember to maintain the shocked 

So, for those of you who perhaps 

don’t usually have the courage to 

dare to wear, this is your chance to 

shine. 

One of the big festival fashion 

must-dos for 2010 is to channel your 

childhood: dungarees are an absolute 

essential for the truly on trend 

among you. 

How adventurous you choose to 

be is up to you – whether you decide 

to stick with classic denim or be 

bold with a printed pair. 

If dungarees are a little too retro 

for you, I insist upon a playsuit. 

�� 

remain fabulous they are not the 

only print to be found rocking this 

season. 

Jungle, tribal and aztec are very 

Cut away 

monokinis 

They may look 

good on the 

gazelles that 

grace the 

catwalk, but with 

weird cut-out 

shapes, these 

swimming 

costumes will 

only leave 

strange shaped 

tan lines 

expression of disbelief at your poll 

�� 

remember you’re just not very good 

in public situations. 

Continue wearing the same t-shirts 

�� 

wearing for years, everyone will 

know who you are. 

BNP: Needless to say, the Union 

Jack is back in fashion. Avoid blacks, 

browns and yellows, they just don’t 

suit you. 

Remember that red, white and blue 

are the truly indigenous colours of 

Britain, so after you’ve deported the 

rest of the colours you’ll look even 

more of a twat than you already do. 

Green: Whatever you wear make 

sure it’s ethical. No GAP, Adidas, 

Nike, Tesco, Primark... wander- 

much necessary and are a great 

way to spice up your staple summer 

dress. In the spirit of Gaga, the 

bolder the better….be brave! 

Up next in your essential festival 

wardrobe are the three D’s: denim, 

denim and denim. It is everywhere 

in 2010. If you have chosen the dungarees, 

great. But you need more. 

Denim shorts, jackets, cute summer 

dresses, waistcoats and shirts 

are essential. Don’t be afraid to wear 

them together. The once cardinal sin 

of mixing denims is now a must. 

Remember, it is all about thinking 

fashion from head to toe. 

For some of you the spirit of a fes- 

�� 

a great time which means it is all 

about the trimmings. 

what’s not 

ing the streets naked is better than 

betraying your ethics. If the natural 

look is a bit too far for you, you 

should consider wearing a nice thick 

hemp scarf. Not only does it keep 

the heat in thus conserving energy, 

it’s the essential accessory for any 

environmental activist. 

UKIP: Take off the straightjacket, 

they let you out last week. Let your 

multiple personalities decide what 

to wear, you’ll either end up looking 

like a Tory or a member of the BNP. 

Just remember to shun anything 

obviously European such as berets 

and lederhosen, and to keep up the 

delusion that Britain can survive on 

it’s own. 

Independent: Wear what the hell 

you like. Nobody cares. 

Accessories really come into their 

own on the festival circuit and my 

top tip? Get involved in garish 

headwear. 

Hats are great and why not put 

your own stamp on them by adding 

a headscarf, ribbons or feathers? Or, 

fashion the headscarf into a statement 

bow. Be bold. 

A pair of really cool sunglasses 

should never leave your face and 

add bohemian inspired bangles and 

long necklaces as your splash of 

jewellery. 

Finally, do not forget your longsuffering 

festival best friend. 

Through thick and thin, rain or 

shine, a pair of bright, funky wellies 

are the only thing to be seen wearing. 

Socks & sandals 

(for boys) 

Whilst they might look 

quaint on girls if worn 

in the right way, on boys 

they’ll just end up looking 

unfortunately middle aged 

Poker straight hair 

Go natural with 

wavy, textured 

beach hair and let 

your hair recover 

from the 

temptations of 

obsessive ironing 

By Katy Lawson


Fashion Life & Style 

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High waisted shiny leggings: H&M £29.99 

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Flower Hair band: H&M £7.99 

Black Sweatshirt: Labrat designs £30 

Skirting 

on the edge 

Cream and red heart shorts: Topshop £30 

Lace corset: Topshop £20 

Studded biker jacket: New Look £36 

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Sweatshirt: Labrat Designs £30 

Shorts: Diesel £30 

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Bright Coral Jeans: H&M £14.99 

Zebra Print Body: H&M £29.99 

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Photography: Claire Hall 

Styling: Addy Pope, Millicent Simon


Life & Style 

View Askew 

Circle of friends 

Kathy Jackman 

Columnist 

Sex & Relationships 

sex & relationships 

Feeling frisky? Then get a room 

I’ve noticed that university is a 

great opportunity to develop con- 

�� 

when you’re anything like me. 

I was never all that good at 

making friends, though I did have 

one or two close buddies that I 

stuck with throughout my school 

�� 

that if there were a queen of social 

awkwardness then I would be the 

one to bear the shining crown of 

embarrassment. 

�� 

puberty, Only Child Syndrome, 

same old same old, blah blah blah. 

Ah, but no longer! Taking a trip 

down memory lane back to when 

I was a wee fresher, I was not really 

having the best week. 

�� 

but I wasn’t into the same stuff as 

them and I didn’t really relish the 

prospect of going out and getting 

drunk for seven days. 

I already felt alone and out of 

place like I had everywhere else in 

my life; it wasn’t exactly the best 

start. 

However, I made myself bullet 

of fear and sent myself off to the 

Rocksoc pub crawl because I was 

determined to make an effort with 

people and that seemed more my 

cup of tea. Seeing as I’m now the 

society’s Vice President, I think 

it’s safe to say that it was. 

It’s strange to think that if I 

hadn’t gone then I wouldn’t have 

met any of my now close friends, 

the people who were like me and 

actually wanted to get to know 

me. 

I eventually met my boyfriend 

through the Rocksoc too, how’s 

that for Kismet? 

It’s hard to believe that making 

yourself do something that frightens 

you can change your whole 

life for the better. 

�� 

I’m surrounded by like-minded 

people who make me feel great, 

something that’s a pretty rare occurrence 

when you come from a 

small village like I do. 

Of course this will have been the 

case for thousands of people. You 

come to university to start anew, 

to enter a new stage in your life, 

�� 

your niche. 

In the months before I started, I 

was sure that I wouldn’t be able 

to make friends and that people 

would be put off by my weirdness. 

I was used to that, after all, in 

fact I’d had a lifetime of it, but it 

turned out that I was wrong. 

�� 

being unconditionally accepted 

for who I am, and there really is 

no other feeling like it. 

I can only hope that all of you 

have experienced that very same 

feeling. It’s kind of like being 

�� 

in the world, only way warmer. 

Rosie Tallant discusses sex outside and why some activities are better kept behind closed doors 

T�� 

spring to mind when the 

words ‘outdoor’ and ‘sex’ 

appear in the same sentence 

may be of a frisky 

��ting 

sun and soft green grass, but the 

reality of these daring encounters is 

usually not so spectacular. 

Of course, we’ve all heard those 

slightly unbelievable stories from 

our more adventurous mates about 

the time they had mind-blowing 

��solutely 

nothing went wrong. No 

cows staring menacingly? No twigs 

lodged in unspeakable places? Apparently 

not. 

Let’s try to get a realistic picture 

here. You’re in the woods, or a 

�� 

means grass, soil or sand. 

Including nettles. There is also 

wildlife to consider, so those with 

spider, beetle or livestock phobias 

please take note. Livestock also 

means cows, which often leads to 

huge, shameless cowpats, as those 

who have ever ventured across the 

�� 

just me, or does a muddy, creepy- 

�� 

sound like the best place to get a little 

bit frisky? 

That doesn’t mean that the coun- 

ask señor jose 

Señor Jose is answering 

your questions for 

�� 

emotional. Thank you. 

Señor, 

My technique when it comes to 

chatting up the ladies is, shall we 

say, unique. I prefer the direct approach 

- squeezing arses, fondling 

girl’s breasts and chasing girls so 

I can get a glimpse up their skirts. 

When things get really dry I do 

often approach women on nights 

out and ask them - “Will you f*** 

me?” This does not seem to work. 

How am I going to lure women 

into my bed? 

tryside is the only place to enjoy 

some alfresco action, though. As the 

Vengaboys repeatedly and enthusiastically 

insisted, people do want to 

have sex on the beach. 

It is an unavoidable sexual playground, 

and with all those tanned, 

oiled and glistening bodies on display, 

this is hardly surprising. 

Doubts may begin to creep in, 

however, when you consider the remarkable 

talent sand has of getting 

absolutely everywhere. And if it can 

cause that amount of pain being in 

between your toes, just imagine 

what it could do to other places... 

Why then, if you type this risky little 

phrase into your average search 

engine, are there endless fan pages 

and ‘hidden camera videos’ de- 

�� ers? 

There is no mention on these kinky 

pages of severe sand chaffage, which 

is why this fantasy may be best left 

unrealised. 

Some things work well only in our 

minds, like that secret affair with 

Alistair Darling or daring to go 

double denim. The reality is just too 

messy. 

But if your greatest desire just so 

happens to be a bit of alfresco loving, 

make sure you take a blanket, insect 

killer and plenty of baby wipes. 

I think it was Michelangelo who 

said, whilst teaching a young boy 

how to sculpt marble in the foothills 

surrounding Rome, ‘make love 

to it, don’t f*** it’ and this would be 

my advice to you. 

We have all been there; objectifying 

women comes down to the big 

three - tits, arse, legs. But let me tell 

you about the real big three - listening, 

cuddling and the notebook. If 

you combine these three celestial 

elements then girls will be parting 

their legs faster than Moses did the 

Red Sea. 

If all else fails, offer a girl something 

shiny (necklace, earrings, 

tinfoil) as they are like magpies and 

they will probably take you back to 

their nest to get it on. Aviary style. 

Boom. 

Señor, 

I’m a man of strength. And by 

that I mean physical. My muscles 

are enormous and my abs are 

to die for. With regular protein 

shakes and daily trips to the gym, 

it’s a wonder I don’t have every 

tom, dick and harry crawling all 

over me. But at the moment I’m 

having a bit of a mare. 

This bird at the gym is re- 

�� 

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write home about it. When we go 

to spinning classes together I can’t 

help but imagine what it would be 

like if she were to ride my bike. 

I asked her out on a date and she 

�� 

with me all the time. 

If you truly are a man of strength 

my advice to you, as a fellow 

weight lifter, would be not to s**t 

where you eat. Sure it would be 

great to show her your ‘situation’ 

but think about the next few weeks. 

What if it doesn’t live up to expectations? 

What if she is a terrible lay? 

What if it is awkward in the morning? 

What if, god forbid, she eats 

complex carbohydrates after 5pm? 

This is only going to affect your 

ability to shift some serious tin. 

So if you choose to persevere, 

tread carefully - no girl should 

make you compromise your weight 

lifting goals, especially one who is 

not jumping at the chance to ask 

you out. Think big, lift big, be big. 

Señor, 

I’m Irish, I have ginger hair and 

with these attributes, topped off 

with my charming personality, I 

am usually very lucky with the 

ladies. 

However, recently I have fallen 

madly in love with someone who 

is quite out of my reach. 

She currently has a boyfriend 

and whilst this wouldn’t usually 

stop me from making my moves, 

she lives with him, making the 

�� 

She continually moans about 

him, suggesting she might break 

up with him and often looks to 

J. WHITTAKER 

me for advice. I shoot myself in 

the foot by telling her to stay with 

him. 

�� 

whilst I enjoy the attention, I can’t 

�� 

could turn into something physical. 

What shall I do? 

Unrequited love is tough, especially 

if we are talking about a slammin’ 

hottie with an ass that just won’t 

quit! In this sort of situation you 

have to have a good look at yourself 

and say ‘do I have the stones?’ 

If the answer is no you better just 

get yourself a photo of her, draw a 

target on her face and retire from 

the game for life. However, if you 

peer into your pants and discover 

you have a pair, there is nothing 

stopping you. 

�� 

how much she hates her boyfriend 

that means, at the very least, she 

has thought about you naked. And 

that is the key. 

Let her know that you like her 

whilst casually slipping into the 

conversation how much of a tool 

her boyfriend is and that you saw 

him last night looking too friendly 

with his second cousin (twice 

removed). After that, she should be 

all yours. 

If this doesn’t work, at least you 

can get up in the morning, look 

at yourself in the mirror and see a 

man staring back. Clear eyes, full 

hearts, can’t lose.


Blind Date Life & Style 

Alex said: 

After a brief interlude with my 

friends I was ready for round two. 

I had high expectations of this Sam 

character as his textual communication 

to secure arrangements prior 

to our date had been of the highest 

calibre. 

He didn’t disappoint. Once again, 

I was greeted with a pretty face 

and a chocolaty gift- although, I 

this time had some confectionary 

to offer myself (courtesy of Harry 

Clapham). Even though I had previously 

been told we were beach 

bound for Hawaii, I graciously settled 

for Whitley Bay. A short metro 

ride away, my initial concerns were 

the ability to make small talk with 

a complete stranger sitting in such 

close proximity for 30 minutes. 

However, his constant conversation 

blind date 

Three guys, one girl and a bottle of champagne 

Alexandra-Rae Ashcroft dates Harry Clapham, Sam Nutter and Henry Bower to discover what it is that really makes her tick 

breakfast 

Alex said: 

In all fairness, date one got the raw 

end of the deal- with the absence of 

a champagne breakfast, it appeared 

there was no social lubrication to be 

offered. 

To be acquainted at my front door 

with a non-offensive face and a bar 

of chocolate I thought I was onto a 

winner, but the fact that Kitsch’n 

was closed when we got there 

wasn’t a great start. 

�� 

standard category, we’ll give him 

kudos for trying. After covering all 

the basics, he seemed like a good 

catch; telling me about his family, 

a good job he had lined up, and an 

admirable work ethic. To top it all 

off, he proceeded to enlighten me 

lunch 

dinner 

Alex said: 

By date three the day was beginning 

to take its toll, however I 

�� 

to start. 

The reassurance that a close friend 

of mine had already put out an 

offer of a ‘non blind date’ to Henry 

was rather comforting, so at least if 

all went wrong she could step in. 

After putting the date back an 

hour (meaning the two hour ‘dutch 

courage’ session he was having 

in the pub was extended to three 

hours) we met at As You Like It 

�� 

been a serial dater for the day. So 

credit where credits due, he took 

it like a man (unlike the numerous 

glasses of wine that he proceeded 

to take like a fresher). 

I had three options; he was either 

nervous, partial to more than a few 

or fancying his chances as a lad - 

on his claim to fame being in the 

form of The Weakest Link.. wow.. 

who wouldn’t be impressed? 

Refusing my offer to treat him to 

his bacon and egg roll (I was disappointed 

by the lack of sausage), he 

embraced the 21st century and we 

split the bill. Walking away I could 

think of worse ways to spend my 

morning (until of course I learned 

he had deleted a picture of himself 

off my camera - perhaps too vain?!) 

but let’s not give him too much of a 

hard time. I suppose you do worse 

than Harry Clapham. 

Harry said: 

Dates and I go together like Gordon 

Brown and smiles; occasionally I 

try one but immediately I regret it. 

However, when offered the 

chance to get up at 8am on Saturday, 

buy a mystery bird breakfast, 

risk unrivalled awkwardness and 

and my fascination in wondering 

as to how he achieved such a close 

shave seemed to make the journey 

pass remarkably fast. 

His ‘3 older sisters and a feminist 

politics module’ later shone 

through, with Sam being a complete 

gentleman throughout the 

whole outing - insisting to pay for a 

lovely lunch on the beach. 

Sam was a self confessed catch 

(to quote: “I’ve got a lot going for 

me”), so to conclude- if you are 

looking for an (extremely) pruned, 

aesthetically pleasing and chatty 

�� 

within. 

Sam said: 

�� 

and I wasn’t sure of what to expect. 

Five to ten minutes of nervous 

waiting outside West Jesmond 

Metro and trying to not look as 

though as I was staring too hard at 

any would-be dates left me pleas- 

as he was very keen to keep the 

glasses topped up at all times. 

A few glasses/bottles of wine 

later, it turned out I too was rather 

blinder than I had signed up for - 

so in all fairness I should really just 

let the friends we ‘conveniently’ 

�� 

review. 

�� 

had fun... with my friends anyway. 

Henry took himself home shortly 

after arriving at the club which was 

most certainly for the best of both 

of us. Nice guy but not the one. 

Henry said: 

We had agreed to meet at As You 

Like It at 8pm. My mates were 

drinking at the cricket club so I 

thought I’d meet them for a few 

beers to settle my nerves. 

It came to 9pm and I went, a little 

tipsy but ok. When she came in we 

sat down with a bottle of wine and 

just started chatting. 

I soon found out that Alex had 

already been on 2 dates earlier that 

be one of three dates the young 

lady would be having that day; I 

would have been a mug to turn the 

opportunity down. 

I decided to go in with my 100% 

success tactic – I greeted her with a 

bar of chocolate. This worked with 

my last girlfriend, granted we were 

�� 

broke? 

I normally have my breakfast 

with Lorraine Kelly, so she had a 

tough act to follow. 

However, I was pleasantly surprised 

by Alex, she was borderline 

ginger but had good chat and was 

quite attractive. 

�� 

pretty well and she was lolling all 

over the shop. 

I picked up the bill and left without 

paying, she seemed impressed 

and walked with me…the rest is 

private, I’m still a virgin though 

that’s all I’ll say. 

antly surprised by Alex – who was 

greeted by a box of Maltesers (can’t 

really go wrong with them). 

We went to the Beach and walked 

along the promenade, where we 

found a little restaurant on the 

�� 

had steak instead. Alex had good 

chat and told me all about the 

nightlife in Hull (she actually made 

it sound pretty appealing) and 

human geography. We also exchanged 

stories about our amazing 

experiences in the Bigg Market. 

We headed back to Newcastle 

via the Beach where we had an ice 

�� 

where I cracked open some champagne 

she’d brought to celebrate 

�� 

by (correctly) guessing a number 

in her head – cheers Derren Brown 

– and she was as impressed as she 

was weirded out. 

All in all I had a good time and 

�� 

loves human geography, again. 

day. Three men in one day, what 

can I say… 

She started telling me about her 

previous dates, one of them being 

someone I actually knew which 

was pretty weird. 

I knew I was being analysed and 

sized up against these other blokes 

so I didn’t really feel as comfortable 

as I usually would. 

She then said that a few of her 

mates were in Lynches, just across 

the road. I knew one of my housemates 

was keen to go out and I 

thought it’d be cool if we all met 

up and went together. So we went 

across, chilled out with her mates 

and mine and eventually decided 

to hit town. 

At this point I had been boozing 

�� 

pretty lashed. 

But anyway, went into Madame 

Koos and to be honest I got a bit 

bored, so after a while I did the old 

disappearing act and just sort of left 

her with her mates. 

She’s a lovely girl, just not really 

my type. 

Disappointed by the lack of sausage, Alex and Harry bite into their breakfast baps 

A bottle of champage later and still standing, the couple go for a romantic beach stroll 

Too many drinks later, the two engaged in ‘conversation’ about the night’s exploits 

Her summary: 

All in all I don’t think I’ll be doing 

any more favours in the form of 

blind dates. Some might say you 

can never have too much of a 

good thing - I would have to disa- 

gree. I climed into bed alone at 

3am, with an offer of ‘spoonage’ 

from an one of the dates who will 

remain anonymous. Let’s just say 

I was glad my day of date duties 

were over.


Life & Style 

Travel 

travel 

Amsterdamage 

Katherine Bannon goes on hockey tour to Amsterdam and gives us an 

insight into the debauchery that unfolded when university met poly 

Tour. Who knew such a 

small word could mean 

so much destruction? 

Forget combat clad 

guides, pre-historic archi- 

Drinking 

tecture and foam padded head sets. 

This is all about what cider you’d 

�� 

kegging complete strangers and 

�� 

�� 

from the bar. 

Salou may have recently hit the 

�� 

shocked realization that the thousands 

of students storming the 

small town are less likely to play 

sport than they are to work on their 

dissertations, but what they pretend 

not to acknowledge is that this has 

already been happening for years. 

Teams, alcohol, fancy dress and 

the old age adage ‘what goes on tour 

stays on tour’ have been the precise 

blend to guarantee you the time of 

your life for much longer than they 

care to admit. 

That’s why we took to Amsterdam 

for Easter weekend to join one of the 

longest established hockey tournaments, 

although apart from the distinct 

smell of something green and 

some gold lycra adorned Dutch men 

we probably could’ve been on the 

outskirts of Fenham. 

Hotel rooms and lounging around 

the swimming pool were out of the 

question. 

We had red and white stripped 

tape marking our hundred foot 

square of campsite, a marquee and 

four toilets (if you want to count the 

portaloos). 

Oh, and as much ham and cheese 

to keep us going ‘til Christmas. 

But when the round trip coach 

journey tallys up to longer than the 

actual time you spend there you 

know it’s got to be pretty immense 

to make it worth it. 

Students were not necessarily taking 

over either. 

The nearly thirties were in abundance, 

giving a perfect opportunity 

for some to prove that age is just 

a number and that wellies are the 

most essential footwear for a cross 

campsite walk of shame. 

So try not to leave them behind. 

Not that we didn’t get out sticks out 

occasionally. 

Over all, it provided a useful curve 

of discovery of what hidden talents 

reside among the team, most notably 

the ability to prevent a ten on 

one goal attempt when you’ve only 

worn a goalie kit for the past ten 

minutes on your hockey career. 

�� 

can do. Yet fresher baiting was the 

main sport on the agenda. Learning 

to respect your elders is a key discipline 

in team politics. 

Being forced to wear nappies and 

answer to a whistle is what happens 

games whilst on tour: just a sample of the chaos that occured in Amsterdam 

when they choose to abuse that respect. 

But what goes around will always 

�� 

�� 

among us but the president veteran 

of the club after an unfortunate incident 

involving a lot of turbulence. 

Over all though, its roots reside in 

the food chain; working your way 

from primary consumer to top of 

the triangle is as much a rite of pas- 

�� 

Although it’s easy for me to say 

that, as it’s also a reminder of just 

�� 

spersing cans of lager with press ups 

and kissing whatever pre-pubescent 

poly boy that happened to be pass- 

ing is nothing compared to what befalls 

the less compassionate sex. 

Whereas the most unmerciful 

grandma of a university team would 

see the swamp-like, most likely eel 

ridden lake next to the campsite as 

just that; in male eyes it is the perfect 

�� 

swimming skills. 

Reaction time, speed and underwater 

vision as they attempt to retrieve 

the unforgiving launched 

hockey stick from its depths. 

�� 

ing how much attention you receive 

�� 

on your forehead, especially when 

you look young enough for it to be 

plausible.


Food & Drink Life & Style 

food & drink 

�� 

Where to go for the perfect tipple: Katy Lawson 

discusses Newcastle’s best drinking venues 

1. Billabong, Osborne Road 

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the best outside seating areas; with 

�� 

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2. The Hancock 

�� 

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means that prime spots in the sun- 

�� 

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reviews 

�� 

Cabinet, Heaton 

�� 

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death of the urban legend that was 

�� 

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rounded it at the beginning of the 

�� 

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ment have maintained the things 

�� 

We were personally greeted by 

�� 

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menu. 

�� 

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view this as blessing) all the old 

favourites are still there. 

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3. Tyne Bar Beer Garden 

� �� 

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4. Cumberland Arms 

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around you. 

5. Free Trade Inn 

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not to surrender as you pit yourself 

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days after. 

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ideas. 

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the golden oldies. 

views of the river and its expanse of 

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ingly lit up on an evening. 

B. CARLIN 

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burger out of sheer amusement and 

made a valiant attempt at on the 

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left little to be desired. 

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and worth a visit all in themselves. 

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the rest. 

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Fran Infante 

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Rocco Bar Trattoria, 

City centre 

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there was no need for breath mints 

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plimented the texture of the King 

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better deal in town. 

Stephen McIntyre 

The Penny Pincher 

Lesson 18: End of Year 

Rowan Taylor 

Columnist 

We’ll end with a simple one-page 

summary of my best tips over the 

year. 

Groceries 

�� 

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your eyes - experiment with value 

�� 

Internet cashback 

�� 

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House bills 

�� 

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monthly standing order. 

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Eating out 

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before. 

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email newsletters for the best offers. 

Studying 

�� 

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Transport 

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London for £1 anyone? 

Banking 

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around. 

Accommodation 

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unwanted furniture. 

Mobile Phones 

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Going out 

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Health 

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Music and gigs 

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Loyalty cards 

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Culture Editor: Alice Vincent - courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk 

This last month’s Leaders’ Election 

debates saw the three big parties 

come together to champion 

their ideas and get in a few tactical 

punches at the opposition while 

they’re there. 

�� 

�� 

cause when it comes to electoral 

�� 

who swing the punches. 

For decades political advertising 

has been an important facet of 

�� 

cleanest. 

Attack ad campaigns focus on the 

�� 

but are often the most effective and 

creative ways of grabbing the attention 

of the masses. 

Global advertising agency Saatchi 

& Saatchi came to the forefront of 

the 1979 general election with their 

iconic ‘Labour Isn’t Working’ billboard 

campaign. The poster’s simple 

and punchy message struck the 

�� 

voted Margaret Thatcher into power 

�� 

�� 

famous Saatchi brothers left the 

agency to form their own rival com- 

�� 

servative account with them. 

�� 

featuring a sinister-looking Tony 

�� 

�� 

Saatchi brothers’ creative status 

�� 

was accredited the same success as 

the popular ‘Hello Boys’ Wonderbra 

campaign in 1994. 

�� 

Saatchi & Saatchi took up the Labour 

party’s advertising in the late 

�� 

proach into campaigns for current 

PM Gordon Brown with slogans 

�� 

The rivalry between the two agencies 

has become as prominent as that 

of the parties they represent in this 

�� 

is clear that neither party has managed 

to effuse their advertisements 

with the creative clarity of previous 

campaigns. 

Though the Tories attempted to 

use posters declaring a positive 

�� 

Cameron’s airbrushed-looking face 

triggered many spoof versions of 

the advert and became something of 

an obstacle for serious publicity. 

Labour scored something of an 

own goal with their Ashes to Ashes 

�� 

pointing towards Thatcherite policies. 

�� 

on a picture of the politically incorrect 

but thoroughly popular charac- 

�� 

the Labour camp had got carried 

�� 

�� 

and forgot about what the public 

would take away from the advert. 

With embarrassment on both 

�� 

�� 

a YouTube video highlighting the 

interchangeableness of the two big 

parties. Though the video went vi- 

�� 

the same level as Labour and the 

Conservatives. 

On the other side of the political 

�� 

key following the scandalous Ques- 

�� 

�� 

mite in their election broadcast is a 

classic example of bad political advertising. 

Its use is unexplained and has 

nothing to do with the advert’s message: 

‘Get Your Own Back – Vote 

�� 

ly explains “would really annoy the 

�� 

�� 

cation for its use was simply a retort 

to Marmite’s series of spoof adverts 

which supposedly modelled the 

leader of the Hate Party on him; al- 

�� 

upon publicity generated from the 

media rather than through its own 

campaign. 

�� 

garnered more critical opinion than 

public. Whilst the successes and 

blunders of the parties’ attack ads 

�� 

�� 

short of the public appeal and pro- 

�� 

�� 

Barack Obama’s ‘Hope’ poster 

�� 

but here in Britain the parties are 

turning to alternative methods of 

engaging with the increasingly disillusioned 

public. 

Exclusive interview with I TV’s 

agony uncle Jeremy Kyle 

> TV & Radio, page 44 

�� 

Negative campaigning: this year’s general election has been notable for the attack ad methods used by the major parties. The above image is one of a number of spoof Cameron posters on the mydavidcameron website 

Stephanie Ferrao Arts Editor 

The Election: your guide to live coverage 

Unless you’ve been buried under 

a pile of essays for as long as you 

�� 

�� 

�� 

and Brown have all been waiting 

for this Thursday. 

�� 

can get some last minute info on 

the main political parties in Channel 

4’s Election Uncovered on 

�� 

analysis of each party’s campaign 

�� 

�� 

the election is actually costing us 

�� 

their campaigns. 

�� 

�� 

sions and debates on the election 

on most mainstream TV channels 

and radio stations but here’s a rundown 

of what you can expect. 

ITV1’s Election 2010 begins at 

9.55pm and will be hosted by 

Alastair Stewart. Correspondents 

will report live from key seats 

across the country and there’ll be 

live analysis of the results as they 

come in. 

There will also be a high-tech 

�� 

�� 

print of Britain which will make 

election updates easier to understand. 

The BBC are also hosting a 

�� 

interviews and analysis. Jeremy 

Paxman will be quizzing politicians. 

Channel 4 are taking a different 

direction with their coverage by 

offering a satirical alternative. The 

four hour live programme will 

�� 

�� 

Lauren Laverne and Robert Webb 

and will also feature pre-recorded 

election specials of some of your 

favourite comedy shows such as 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Carolyn Quinn will present Radio 

4’s Election Special in London on 

�� 

and John Pienaar present BBC 

Radio 5 Live’s show at 10pm as 

�� 

11pm on Absolute Radio you can 

�� 

Geoff Lloyd brings all the election 

news as it happens. 

�� 

that there are plenty of other ways 

to get the election news if you don’t 

�� 

Online will have all the results as 

�� 

has enhanced its iPhone app for 

the election so that it can provide 

election news direct to your phone 

�� 

also be available on the Red Button 

and Ceefax. 

Aimee Philipson

29 

THE COURIER Tuesday 4 May 2010 

Culture Culture 

28 

Listings by Ciara Littler, Alice Vincent, Joe Skrebels and Matthew Blackwell - send your listings to courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk 

the guide: 4 May - 9 May 

wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday 

tuesday 

film 

The 120 days of Sodom 

Star and Shadow Cinema, 19.30, 

free 

arts 

Crafty DIY session 

Star and Shadow Cinema, 

12.00-15.00, free 

charity 

No Likey, No Lighty 

Bijoux, £10 adv. tickets 

arts 

Vane Woman Launch 

Gallery North, Northumbria 

Gallery, 19.15, £6 

highlighted 

Picks of the summer 

arts 

A Bit Crack: The 

Woodcutter’s Wife 


£4-6 

arts 

NUTS Drama Festival 

Royal Grammar School, Jesmond, 

19.15, £6 

See page 28 

�� 

�� 

�� 

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countries even now 

�� 

for volunteers to mess about with 

��- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

on the basic format of the TV show 

Take Me Out�� 

�� 

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Cancer Care 

Publication of a new love poetry 

collection from a local writing group 

music 

HeartRock 

O2 Academy 2, 18.30, £6 

�� 

�� 

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�� 

the forest itself 

clubbing 

3Deep Launch Party- 

House and Techno + 

3D Visuals 

TheCut, 22.30, £4-5 

Places for Painters: 

Artists’ Colonies in the 

UK 

Live Theatre, Quayside, 18.00, free 

but ticketed 

music 

Alabama 3 

02 Academy, 19.00 , £16 adv 

Showcase for the best new music 

from the local area 

charity 

Swish for humanity 

clothes swap 

Global Café Newcastle Student 

Union, 18.30-22.30, £5 

clubbing 

Election Night Party 


free 

�� 

opening theme tune for The 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

The Baghdaddies 

The Cluny, 20.00, £7 

�� 

�� 

�� 

– whatever the result you’re in for a 

party! 

�� 

�� 

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them 

The Slits 

Star and Shadow, 20.00, £13.50 

A charity clothes swap to raise 

�� 

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�� 

Lanhorne Slim & The 

War Eagles 

The Cluny 2, 20.00 , £8 

�� 

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�� 

�� 

��Cut�� 

years Trapped Animal 

Peace, Love and Bass 

World Headquarters, 22.00, £5 

Bedbug Newcastle 

Launch Night 

World Headquarters, 22.00, 

£7 adv 

clubbing 

Zap! : The Last Volume 

of The Year 

Digital, 22.30, £5 

�� 

��- 

�� 

film 

Woman Directors: The 

UK Cut Rough Aunties 

Side Cinema, 19.00, £5 

Soaking in the rays: one of the photos on show at the Shipley Art Gallery, displaying work from some of Britain’s most up-and-coming photographers 

The last show of the year from the 

�� 

�� 

film 

Timecop 

Tyneside Cinema, 21.00, free 

�� 

�� 

�� 

announces its arrival with shows 

�� 

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Chris Binding 

clubbing 

Habit Warehouse 

Party: Tensake and 

Prosumer 

May 30, Location tbc, 22.30, £tbc 

arts 

Taylor Wessing 

Photographic Portrait 

Prize 

Until June 27, Shipley Art Gallery, 

Gateshead, free 

film 

Four Lions 

Tyneside Cinema, 21.00, free 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

film 

Riot on Sunset Strip 


free 

Motion Graphics & 

Animation Showcase 

Tyneside Cinema, 21.30 , free 

music 

University Classical 

Music Festival 

June 7-11, Armstrong Building, 

Newcastle University, free - £2.50 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

year 

James Holcomlbe Su- 

�� 


£tbc 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

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�� 

�� 

the frequent clashes between police 

�� 

throughout the 60s 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

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�� 

�� 

graphics from the next generation of 

�� 

Topman CTRL 

Armstrong Building, Newcastle 

University, free - £2.50 

��- 

�� 

�� 

��- 

�� 

house number ‘Coma Cat’ which you 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

��- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Eliza Lomas 

Doctor Who Exhibition 

Starting May 22, Centre for Life, £tbc 

music 

Jason and the Scorchers 

O2 Academy 2, 18.30, £15 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

alchemy on - teaching processing 

�� 

�� 

JAPANIMATION 

Season presents: Street 

Fighter II 

Tyneside Cinema, 21.00, Free 

Storm Launch 

Tyneside Cinema, 21.30 , free 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Lightspeed Champion 

The Cluny, 20.00, £9 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

music 

Limehouse Lizzy 

O2 Academy, 19:00, £14.50 

�� 

but anyone who was brought up 

�� 

�� 

�� 

��- 

�� 

�� 

��- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

hopefully they’ll blast out Hounds of 

Love�� 

�� 

�� 

film 

Film Four FrightFest 

August 27-29, Side Cinema, 19.00, 

£tbc 

Newcastle University 

Fine Art Degree Show 

Starting May 29, Hatton Gallery, 

free 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Pleasing to see that he is playing in 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Bill Kirchen Trio + 

Mickey Kemp 

The Cluny, 20:00, £10 

music 

Kill Hannah 

O2 Academy 2, 19.00, £11 

Male Bonding, PENS 

May 25, Head Of Steam, £5-6 

Duke Special 

The Cluny 2, 20.00, £12.50 

John Otway 

The Cluny, 20:00, £12.50 

music 

Ray Davies 

The Sage, 19.30, £32.50 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

A real opportunity to tell everyone you 

�� 

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Lightspeed Champion at The Cluny on Friday


Culture 

art 

Arts 

arts 

Make mine a late one 

Cultural venues across the city are opening up 

for the evenings as Polly Randall discovers 

Ever dreamed about sneaking 

around museums and art galleries 

after hours? 

Maybe enticed by the fantastical 

qualities that Night at the Museum 

offered, with history coming alive 

around you. 

There is no need with this series 

of events for any special effects to 

make the content of these institutions 

come to life. 

Taking place over the weekend of 

May 14-16, the North East boasts 

the largest event in country; it’s 

spread city wide and takes in almost 

every cultural venue in the 

city. 

Titled The Late Shows, the range of 

activities is incredible and is sure 

to offer something for everyone. 

A trip to Seven Stories is must for 

anyone who has been taken in by 

the supernatural phenomena of 

Twilight and wishes to rediscover 

their inner child with vampire 

makeovers and fan quizzes- unfortunately 

no promise of Edward 

Cullen-esque men. 

Anyone who has ever visited 

The Hancock Museum, instead of 

just the pub of same name, will 

know there are a variety of stuffed 

animals on show; at night they do 

apparently come to life with an 

opportunity for animal handling 

including scorpions, snakes and a 

dragon! 

Not one for the squeamish. If the 

pub is more your thing, then the 

BALTIC may be your favoured 

haunt for the night with An Artistic 

Take on the Conventional Pub. 

The night promises a karaoke 

competition, an arts and culture 

themed pub quiz with Yara El 

Sherbini, as well as all the scrabble, 

boggle or lexicon you can manage 

in the café bar, using (for one night 

only) plates of alphabetti spaghetti! 

This offers a slightly messy, but 

fun challenge to all those cultural 

intellectuals out there. 

The Laing and Hatton galleries 

are taking a more hands on approach, 

with interactive exhibitions, 

the Hatton inviting you to 

experiment with noise and help to 

create a sound collage, whilst the 

Laing offers the chance to create a 

piece of ever changing art alongside 

the new play from writer 

Michael Dean. 

For those with a more playful 

or competitive nature, the Discovery 

Museum is offering giant 

retro games, including large scale 

scalextric all to the sound of 80s 

classic tunes. 

The best thing about having this 

many things on offer is that you 

don’t have to pick just one; a free 

bus has been put on the Saturday 

between the venues so you can really 

have a whole night in the museum. 

stage 

NUTS about drama 

Mike Wilkinson on 

a simply unmissable 

student drama festival 

�� 

production of the year, the Drama 

Festival. 

As usual, the festival boasts a large 

line-up of excellent student-written 

drama from Newcastle’s own, sadly 

this year without the inclusion of 

travelling shows due to other universities’ 

various commitments. 

Tuesday kicks off the week’s festivities 

with Cannes, written by 

NUTS veteran Sam Jefferson. 

Cannes has been selected to represent 

NUTS and Newcastle University 

at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 

in August and expectations are 

high. 

Also featured on Tuesday is the 

Comedy Revue by the Newcastle 

Comedy Society. 

Completing the line up for the 

evening we have Bunker and Be 

Mine, written by this year’s NUTS 

debutants. 

Wednesday offers up an eclectic 

mix of dramatics. Beginning the 

evening with Hacker and Muldoon’s 

Copywright written by, directed by 

and starring Andy McKeane, we’re 

promised a half hour that you wont 

forget in a hurry. Soldier On and Recursion 

and The Strange Occurrences 

of Lady Death and The Taunton Diamond 

round off this diverse evening 

of entertainment. 

�� 

three exciting pieces of drama. First 

up is The A A Team - which tells 

the story of a group of middle aged 

yoga enthusiasts who have to break 

the habit. S.A.R.A, from the mind 

of Ben Schwarz, is the second of our 

productions of the evening. Finally, 

we close the festival with Walt Dinkey, 

a twisted take on Disney Princesses. 

The festival promises to be the perfect 

end to a thoroughly successful 

year for the society. 

The festival is on at the Royal Grammar 

School, Jesmond from 4-6 May. Tickets 

on the door for £6, doors at 7.00pm 

Vintage handicraft sessions at the Shipley Gallery. Part of the Late Shows events that are occurring in venues across Newcastle 

art 

Bringing urban art to the Kitch-en 

One of the freshest 

new galleries making 

waves in Newcastle 

says Gemma Farina 

Just off Northumberland Street, and 

a stone’s throw away from the University, 

lies a contemporary art gallery 

which is cooking up a storm. 

The Kitch-en Gallery is the brain 

child of a partnership of Mark 

Warner, a graphic designer, and bar 

manager Ged Holmes, and is the 

latest addition to Newcastle’s evergrowing 

collection of cultural happenings. 

What is most interesting about this 

gallery is its dual purpose, both for 

�� chasers 

for their efforts. 

The pair have brought together a 

vast number of up-and-coming artists 

to showcase their art in what 

they see, very importantly, as a collaborative 

manner. 

The Kitch-en represents what the 

world of contemporary urban art 

has to offer, and includes artists 

such as Phlegm, Mr Arteest, Ben the 

Illustrator and Creative Ginger to 

name but a few. 

The gallery was originally established 

in 2005 in Middlesbrough; 

however it re-launched last month 

in Newcastle after spending some 

time assembling the freshest new 

artistic talent, from all corners of the 

UK. 

With the help of Newcastle City 

Council’s Empty Shop scheme 

(which supports the cultural regeneration 

of abandoned spaces), 

Warner and Holmes were able to set 

up shop in the city. 

The pair held a successful launch 

night, quickly followed by four days 

of a pop-up exhibition which gave 

visitors an insight into what the 

Kitch-en Gallery is really all about. 

The gallery itself is located in the 

heart of Newcastle’s city centre; but 

as well as the new venue there are 

big plans for a touring exhibition. 

Eventually this will go international, 

ensuring greater exposure 

for the emerging artists of the urban 

art scene. 

The Newcastle re-launch coincided 

with the start-up of an all-new 

Kitch-en Gallery website, complete 

with an online shop and examples 

of all their artists’ work to boot. 

Currently, the Kitch-en is focusing 

on selling limited edition prints, 

original works and vinyl toys in its 

stores – all creations of the artists the 

duo have chosen to support. 

Admittedly on a student budget, a 

Craww original at £625 is something 

to observe in the gallery itself rather 

than on your wall. 

However, some limited edition 

prints will only set you back around 

£20, and Ben the Illustrator originals 

come in at a mere tenner. 

These are fantastic prices for contemporary 

art, and perpetuate the 

Kitch-en ethos that art should be 

non-exclusive and accessible to all. 

The Kitch-en Gallery aims to be 

�� 

passion its creators’ love of art. 

This philosophy ensures the best 

and most current art is showcased, 

making a visit a real feast for the 

eyes.


art 

Liberia Retold: one of the images from Tim Hetherington’s new exhibition at the Side Gallery, a show which examines the forces behind Liberia’s past and present 

An exhibition that will 

leave you moved says 

Ciara Littler 

For an interesting and thoughtprovoking 

break from the Robinson 

Library, take the afternoon off the 

books and head down to the Side 

Gallery for Tim Hetherington’s exhibition 

Long Story Told Bit By Bit: 

Liberia Retold. 

It is a great show which explores 

the dynamics of power, international 

complicity and the search for justice 

in recent Liberian history. 

We are shown a complex picture of 

the rough iconography of the recent 

war that occurred their whilst Hetherington 

spent eight years living in 

stage 

West Africa, documenting some of 

the human tragedies, triumphs and 

destructions he witnessed. 

Bringing to life an extraordinary 

range of characters, Tim Hetherington 

examines the forces behind Liberia's 

past and present: from the raw 

power wielded by the young men of 

rebel groups to the corruption of the 

transitional government and on to 

the possibilities of a democratically 

elected president. 

His work brings names and faces 

to news headlines, and in doing so 

demonstrates that what happened 

in Liberia was not the product of inexplicable 

and random chaos. 

The images are excerpted from 

Hetherington's recently published 

book of the same title that entwines 

documentary photography, oral tes- 

timony, and personal writing. 

Hetherington is an award-win- 

�� 

Known for his long-term documentary 

work, he is the recipient of an 

Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University 

award, a UK NESTA National 

Endowment Fellowship, and four 

World Press Photo prizes, including 

the 2007 World Press Photo of the 

Year. 

During Liberia’s 2003 civil war, he 

and his colleague James Brabazon 

were the only journalists who documented 

from behind rebel lines – a 

fact that got them an execution order 

from the now overthrown President. 

What a lot of these images show, 

however, is Hetherington’s documentation 

of the times after the war, 

Arts Editor: Stephanie Ferrao - courier.culture-arts@ncl.ac.uk 

a display of a country trying, and 

partly succeeding, to move on. 

He notes himself that times went 

from boring to terrible to hilarious, 

and his collection of images go some 

way in displaying all of these emotions. 

What is really moving is how he 

has displayed a war torn and shattered 

country picking itself back up 

again. 

This is a great chance to see some 

moving, world class photography 

before it moves over the pond to the 

US. It’s certainly well worth making 

time for a visit. 

Long Story Told Bit By Bit: Liberia 

Retold is exhibiting at the Side Gallery 

until May 15 

Tale of local footballing pride takes centre stage 

Juliet Armstrong on 

the Theatre Royal’s 

touching new play 

The arrival of summer brings with it 

the excitement of the World Cup, as 

the country is transformed by football 

frenzy, with the hope of cheering 

the England boys to victory after 

44 years of anticipation. 

Next week sees the Theatre Royal 

providing the perfect pre-match 

warm up with the play Alf Ramsey 

Knew My Grandfather. 

Created by Tyneside playwrights 

Ed Waugh and Trevor Wood, the 

play documents ‘the greatest football 

story ever told’. 

The plot follows a local ama- 

teur football team in the Northern 

League from West Auckland, 

County Durham, who were invited 

to participate and compete in the 

Lipton Trophy in Italy. 

The unusual opportunity allowed 

the group of working class Durham 

men to play against professional 

teams from Germany, Switzerland 

and Italy and in a twist of fate, won 

�� 

This dramatic work demonstrates 

a real life story of football underdogs 

winning their moment in the 

spotlight and claiming their position 

in sporting history. 

The group of men overcame the 

odds to achieve triumphant glory 

both in 1909 and 1911. 

A feeling of victory for ordinary 

men provides great inspiration 

despite it being the old cliché that 

dreams can be made into reality. 

Alf Ramsey, the manager of England’s 

legendary 1966 World Cup 

team, famously declared that “We 

will win the World Cup” when he 

accepted the position in 1963; the 

only manager to date to deliver this 

promise. 

Ramsey, like the Auckland boys 

may have felt some uncertainty in 

what awaited them, though both 

generations of football heroes 

showed true courage and bravery, 

determined to show the football 

world that anything was possible. 

This gritty determination that ordinariness 

will not create boundaries 

is evident throughout the play. 

Indeed, Trevor Wood declares that 

“this is a brilliant grassroots story 

T. HETHERINGTON 

Hetherington cuts long story into bits 

about the lads and their families 

�� 

Italy”. 

The audience are presented with 

an honest interpretation of what 

football used to be: focused upon the 

passion of the game, rather than the 

�� 

the detriment of today’s football. 

It is unlikely that Fabio Capello 

knew Alf Ramsey but Fabio’s no 

nonsense approach has echoes of 

the way Sir Alf managed his World 

Cup winning team. 

So even if you’re not a big fan of 

the beautiful game itself, make sure 

you don’t miss out on a beautiful 

piece of home-grown theatre that 

promises to inspire as much as it 

entertains. 

Arts Culture 

comment 

Where is the 

art in politics? 

Rosie Tallant on the 

position of the arts 

in the general election 

The initial answer to this is unavoidably 

cynical: the only element 

of art left in politics is in the grandiose 

performances of our politicians. 

From overstretched smiles to 

overblown speeches, the amount of 

PR injected into them is as evident 

as a badly administered Botox jab. 

�� 

��covered 

that only one was giving 

any hint of a nod to the arts. 

We all know that money, war and 

crime are at the top of everyone’s 

priority lists at the moment, but 

I for one would like to see more 

of these reduced theatre tickets 

and free museums that have been 

thrown our way of late. 

That is not to say that the other 

parties have disregarded the arts 

completely. 

They all seem to be dropping 

inspiring little speeches here, there 

and everywhere about “community 

arts programmes” and insisting 

that they are the most passionate 

about the arts. 

But in today’s society, it just isn’t a 

serious enough topic to actually be 

included in their manifestos. 

Perhaps this can be put down to 

the spontaneous nature of art, mak- 

�� 

much art we should be involved in. 

That doesn’t stop politicians from 

trying though, as one brave party 

recommends that children need 

��ture 

per week”. 

Now maybe I’m overestimating 

�� 

painting and eating play-dough, 

but that doesn’t sound like a lot to 

me. 

In truth, the political parties just 

don’t believe that they can win 

people over by promising them 

guitar lessons and free entry to the 

BALTIC. 

When the NHS goes under and 

we’re all mugging our own grannies 

to pay for a bottle of Frosty 

Jacks, how practically useful is a 

quiet afternoon in the Laing? 

So whilst it pleases me greatly that 

one party has devoted a whole section 

to arts, culture and museums, 

it’s clear that the arts are marginalised 

because of their “frivolity”. 

All anyone cares about these days 

is how the next Prime Minister is 

going to drag us out of the economic 

mire. 

So maybe it isn’t up to the 

government how much art we get 

involved in. 

It’s obvious that to prioritise the 

arts above issues such as immigration 

and the economy would 

be something of an electoral deal 

breaker; but I’d like to hope that 

whatever the outcome of the general 

election, there will be the opportunities 

for the arts to develop, 

expand and play an important part 

in people’s lives.


Culture 

Arts 

arts 

The best of the best: top Arts events 2009/10 

The Courier’s Arts writers have looked back on a fantastic year of culture and have brought together their favourite events 

Opera North: 

La Boheme 

�� 

Opera North’s astonishing revival 

of Puccini’s heartbreaking 

classic, ��, was undoubtedly 

the most eye-opening theatre 

experience of the year for me. 

I had expected garish costumes 

and unintelligible Italian voices, 

but instead I was impressed by 

the stylish set and overwhelmed 

by the emotion evident in each 

word that was sung. 

From opening scene to tragic 

climax, the energy radiating from 

each character was irresistible 

and the sheer talent of the actors 

undeniable. 

I am sure not one audience 

member was left unmoved by the 

display of love and loss played 

out on that elegant stage. 

Rosie Tallant 

Baltic Sea 

�� 

Located down a narrow cobbled 

street close to the Quayside, the 

Side Gallery is a tiny attic-like 

exhibition space for some very 

good photography. 

I stumbled across it one day 

early this year when a show was 

on with black and white shots of 

communities around the �� 

�� – stark yet personal; the 

subtle skill of the photos was 

undeniable. 

Since then I have ventured back 

whenever there has been a new 

show on, with intrigue as to what 

the interesting subject will be this 

time. 

Quality instead of quantity is 

�� 

and the adjoining cinema is 

equally independent in the shows 

it chooses to screen. 

Polly Randall 

A Woman In Black 

�� 

�� is a creepy yet 

brilliant play, which demonstrated 

both the power of acting 

and how, by setting a certain 

ambiance, a cast of two people 

can reduce an audience to a bag 

of nerves. 

This eerie tale, set in the Victorian 

period, surrounds a young 

solicitor, Arthur Kipps, and his 

experiences in the desolate Eel 

Marsh House. 

However, the fantastic and surprising 

twists that occur due to 

the appearance of a woman leave 

the audience convinced that they 

are now themselves haunted. 

The performance was fabulously 

scary and something I would 

highly recommend. 

Sally Priddle 

Opera North’s take of La Boheme at the Theatre Royal was one of The Courier writers’ favourite arts events of the year 

Beatles to Bowie: the 

Sixties Exposed 

�� 

As a big fan of bands such as The 

Who and The Kinks, when I heard 

about �� - 

�� I had to pay the Laing a visit. 

The gallery is an exciting celebra- 

�� 

Tate Britain 

I’ve always felt that Tate Britain 

remains quietly underestimated. 

Also on the banks of the Thames, 

also with that famous four-letter 

name, it provides as many innovative 

and fascinating exhibitions 

as its little sister but rarely gets as 

much attention. 

VVVVVV 

Forget Modern Warfare 2 or any 

other of those identikit "realistic" 

shooters: the best game released 

in the last eight months was 

VVVVVV, an independent game 

developed by Terry Cavanagh. 

VVVVVV is a minimalistic plat- 

tion of the 50th anniversary of 

the beginning of the era, which 

provides a chronological depiction 

of the development of “Swinging 

London” using previously unseen 

photographs. 

If you're interested in fashion, 

what you might like about the gallery 

is that the images feature some 

of the fantastic styles prevalent in 

the Sixties when Carnaby Street 

This year, again, it won my Annual 

Favourite Tate prize. The clincher 

was the �� retrospective. 

After rising to fame in the mid- 

90s for winning the Turner Prize 

with, as �� would have you 

�� 

has become one of Britain’s most 

�� 

decades. 

From his provocative insights into 

black Nineties culture to his latest 

form game with a single button that 

�� 

the ceiling. 

Somehow, from this simple 

mechanic, Cavanagh carves out a 

mind-boggling range of scenarios, 

each cleverer than the last, like a 

puzzle game melded with Mario 

Bros. 

�� 

was the “fashion capital of the 

world”. 

The exhibition does not just boast 

incredible photographs – there 

are also displays of magazines 

and record sleeves from the time 

serving to further depict the Sixties 

culture. 

Gemma Farina 

mysterious Trinidadian pieces, 

this exhibition was thoroughly 

beautiful, engaging and thoughtprovoking. 

The highlight? Seeing the adapted 

Union Jack, green, black and white, 

wave gently against a grey London 

��lery 

on which it was mounted. 

Alice Vincent 

brilliant gameplay is a charming, 

retro presentation, including 

(surprisingly good) gameboy-style 

chiptunes. 

The paper-thin plot is irrelevant: 

VVVVVV is gaming in its purest, 

most unadulterated form. 


Wunderbar Festival 

If you did not take part, you 

missed out. 

The festival aimed to combine 

contemporary performances, 

visual art and extraordinary happenings. 

Personal highlights included a 

chance to get your hair cut by children 

(this I opted out of), a chance 

to break apart scrap metal, and 

the opportunity to tour people’s 

houses where the owners shared 

their interest, be it bathing or tea 

parties. 

The sheer amount of weird and 

wonderful happenings made this 

the most exciting arts event last 

year. Hopefully there will be a 

repeat this year and you had better 

go. 

Olivia Mason 

Northern Lights 

Film Festival 

�� 

This annual festival brings the 

�� 

and media right to our doorstep 

up here in the North East. 

It is an extravaganza of special 

events, one-off screenings, new 

media and conferences with the 

best in the business. 

��ested 

in careers in TV or media, 

this week of shows was not to be 

missed. 

It was a true celebration of how 

Newcastle is a major player in the 

�� 

us students too. 

It was the perfect opportunity 

to get involved, with many of the 

hundreds of volunteers spawning 

from our very campus. 

It’ll hopefully be around next 

year so make sure you don’t miss 

it. 

Ciara Littler 

Jenny Holzer 

BALTIC 

The BALTIC’s brought some of 

modern art’s biggest names to 

the shores of Gateshead in recent 

times, but their Jenny Holzer exhibition 

has surely been one of their 

more remarkable imports. 

Consisting of both a retrospective 

section and a display of 

her recent work based around 

�� 

records of American renditions, 

her trademark LED displays lit up 

the gallery space, and made for an 

unforgettable glimpse into a side 

of global politics and American 

dominance usually hidden. 

It was a real coup for the Baltic, 

and best of all, it’s still going until 

May 16, if you need an arts top-up 

during your revision. 

Mark Corcoran-Lettice


Culture Film 

�� 

��ered 

extremely liberal. 

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change and the last to be seen 

making conservative statements, at 

�� 

it shelters so many artists. So why, 

�� - 

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�� 

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�� - 

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�� The Last 

Airbender and Prince of Persia, respectively. 

Both based on pre-existing media 

– The Last Airbender was a cartoon 

called Avatar: The Last Airbender pro- 

�� 

The Prince of Persia is a long-standing 

video game series. 

Both are also based in non-Western 

�� 

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�� 

�� 

�� 

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dedicated fans of the original Avatar 

�� 

Shaymalan’s casting practices. 

�� 

the original world of the cartoon 

was Asian inspired, and the only 

Asian in the cast plays the villain. 

�� 

�� - 

�� 

not be able to identify with nonwhite 

protagonists - a fear that they 

�� 

They feel that this practice of hiring 

predominantly white actors despite 

�� 

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�� 

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must see 

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film 

feature 

�� 

Camila Tessler on ‘Racebending’ and whether 

Hollywood favours white actors 

Raging Bull is a 1980 classic from 

the Scorsese/De Niro dream team. 

De Niro is middleweight boxing 

champ, Jake La Motta, whose mem- 

�� 

Shot entirely in black and white, 

�� - 

�� 

�� 

stories. 

La Motta is a complex character, 

�� 

rage, which often proved problematic 

for him in the ring. 

Keeping him in check is his broth- 

an intense debate when movies cast 

�� 

�� 

lead roles. 

�� 

of hiring based on talent and not on 

��atively 

standard in most entertain- 

�� 

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No one complained, after all, when 

Will Smith played the protagonist in 

I am Legend, a character that is white 

�� 

�� 

both ways. 

The problem is that prominent 

protagonist roles for people of col- 

�� 

casting white actors in those roles 

�� 

�� 

positive role models who they can 

�� 

�� 

whether this is a racist move by 

�� lywood’s 

bottom line has never 

been to promote social awareness, 

despite its liberal position on most 

topics. Hollywood’s bottom line has 

�� 

This is reminiscent of the contro- 

�� Memoirs of 

a Geisha� �� 

of the actresses playing Japanese 

�� 

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��Prince of Persia, the 

protagonist is played by Jake Gyl- 

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probably had little to do with that 

er, Joey, played by Joe Pesci in one 

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Motta’s career, however; it was to 

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own life. After nearly overdos- 

Jake Gyllenhaal in the new Prince of Persia�� 

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casting decision. 

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The Last Airbender in terms of race, 

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bring the highest gross at the box 

�� 

The role of the villain likely went 

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Millionaire� �� 

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Slumdog Millionaire. The chance it 

��Raging Bull 

ing on cocaine, Scorsese agreed to 

�� 

to De Niro, who insisted the direc- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

entered into several middleweight 

had something to do with his race 

is slim. 

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stop paying for movies with racist 

casting practices, and that won’t 

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practices improves. 

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green. 

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This led to the real life Jake La 

Motta naming De Niro one of the 

20 greatest middleweights ever. 

��- 

�� 

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and heavier La Motta, which he did 

�� 

and France. 

De Niro then had to lose this 

�� 

to prevent aggravating existing 

health problems which effected his 

�� 

dedication to the role cemented De- 

�� 

greatest actors. 

�� 

�� 

ever and one of Scorsese’s classics, 

along with the likes of Goodfellas, 

Taxi Driver and Mean Streets. 

Thomas Ward 

dvd 

Erasing David 

�� 

�� 

think it’s tosh. 

�� 

�� 

constantly post irrelevant titbits of 

my life into small boxes on Twitter 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

traded in my digital camera for an 

�� 

However, when it comes to Governmental 

data and the fact that 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

��ogists 

and scaremongering stats. 

Erasing David is a self-made 

�� 

�� 

�� 

to prove the internet is taking over 

�� 

�� 

apocalyptic info disaster. 

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First the ‘chats’ between 

Bond and his seven-months 

�� 

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staged. Then the Blair Witch-style 

footage of him in a wood failed 

miserably. 

�� 

whole ‘disappearance’ had been 

��- 

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��base 

behemoths to establish Bond’s 

�� 

�� 

�� 

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are hardly an internet innovation. 

�� 

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of Bond himself. Having been 

�� 

after learning the Government had 

�� 

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forms for all other forms of internet 

data. 

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– reams of paper detailing his 

�� 

even his emotions. 

However, as we learn, this kind 

of information is kept for twelve 

months at a time on all 60 million 

inhabitants of the UK. 

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shows in interviews with its 

victims, databases can potentially 

�� 

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internet banking and Google, it’s 

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��ently. 

Erasing David was screened at Tyneside 

Cinema on April 29. 

Alice Vincent


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Culture Film 

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Culture 

interview 

Music 

A stuttered leap to stardom, headliners 

of major festivals, deaths of 

band members and a huge commercial 

demand are just a few of 

the battles Feeder have endured 

throughout their successful 15 year 

career. 

It’s no wonder then, that after 

2008’s ‘Silent Cry’ ended their longterm 

record deal, Grant Nicholas 

and Taka Hirose wanted to shake 

things up a bit. 

At the start of the year, the band’s 

temporary alter-ego Renegades 

was born. 

“We wanted to rediscover the old 

days,” Nicholas said. “The last tour 

and this one is about building ourselves 

up again, doing something 

special for ourselves and for the 

fans who never had the chance to 

see us in small venues. 

“Instead of the usual routine of 

recording then touring arenas and 

academies, it’s showing off our new 

songs in front of our most dedicated 

fans. ” 

Despite being under a new name 

though, the Renegades’ E.Ps have 

been a natural musical progression 

for Nicholas’ song writing. 

“We touched on the heavier 

sounds on the last album (‘Silent 

Cry’) but this is an evolution of that, 

like in Who’s The Enemy. 

“It’s never been the case that I 

decide in advance if I’m writing 

songs for Feeder or songs for Renegades. 

We’ve got this album in the 

works and it could go under either 

name.” 

Feeder have seen a constant evolution 

in their sound, from the grunge 

sounds of Stereoworld to the Radio 

2 friendly anthems like Feeling A 

Moment. Renegades’ self titled song 

music 

Going renegade 

with Feeder 

Stuart Edwards interviews Grant Nicholas, the 

frontman of the legendary alt-rock band 

the debate 

Benjamin Jackson 

MIA’s new video, Born Free, could 

not be more different from Paper 

Planes. Gone are the carefree New 

Yorkers and in their place are 

armed, belligerent and masked US 

police. 

To ‘appreciate’ the full extent of 

the video it must be seen, but here 

is a brief summation. Police raid 

an apartment block and disturb a 

couple having sex in order to capture 

the United States of America’s 

public enemy number one – ginger 

adolescents. 

The culprit is then man handled 

into an armoured police bus with 

more of his ‘kind’, driven to a 

desert compound, forced into two 

contains the line ‘we go right back 

�� 

which captures the pressures of being 

in such a band. 

“I think there is perhaps an element 

there of frustration; when 

you’re writing songs the words 

just come back to you and it’s only 

when you step back you realise 

quite what you’re saying. 

“It’s an honour to have your music 

recognised by so many people but 

sometimes you need to try something 

different. 

“I’ve always loved playing in little 

pubs and clubs because it’s music 

in its rawest form. Academies and 

arenas are nice but it’s so structured, 

it’s like being back at school 

in a way. 

“It’s been quite emotional playing 

�� 

time we’ve played at this level without 

Jon. We played Tangerine for the 

�� 

The band, when we spoke, were 

set to take to the stage of Northumbria 

University’s Stage Two on their 

second Renegades tour, with the 

second E.P. included in the ticket 

price of £18. 

“We always love playing in Newcastle 

but sometimes don’t get 

chance to play there. I had the Riverside 

in mind for this tour but I 

hadn’t realised it closed. 

“We played there in ’99 with Muse 

supporting and it was a great gig.” 

The straight-out old school rock 

sound will surely get the small 

crowd moving as the band preview 

material from the upcoming album, 

songs from the two Renegades E.Ps 

as well as throwing in a few older 

Feeder songs for good measure. 

“Last time we played Sweet 16, 

groups and ordered to run through 

�� 

The youngest member is shot in 

full camera view, starting off the 

stampede which they undertake 

with varying degrees of success 

– the least successful detonating 

a mine, again, with disturbing realism. 

Whether this is a video aimed just 

to shock, or to highlight the gross 

mistreatment of minorities by the 

US’s ‘boys in blue’ is unclear. 

If it’s the latter then M.I.A. is high- 

Interviews with New Young Pony Club and the Mystery Jets>>> thecourieronline.co.uk/music 

Tangerine and Descend but we’re 

maybe thinking of mixing that up 

a bit because the Swim/Polythene 

stuff goes really well with what 

we’re playing now. I think I want to 

play Shade and maybe Stereoworld.” 

With their own label set up, a 

hoard of new material to record and 

M.I.A.’s ‘Born Free’: a step too far? 

Is shocking for shocking’s 

sake what music videos 

have come to? 

Feeder/Renegades frontman Grant Nicholas said that they wanted to “rediscover the old days” in touring with their new look band 

lighting an issue that has recently 

attracted less media attention but 

is probably just as prevalent as it 

was when videos of police brutality 

��faced. 

But if it is merely to shock for 

the sake of it, it certainly achieves 

its goal. But is shocking for shocking’s 

sake what music videos have 

come to? 

Whatever the impetus behind the 

commissioning of it, it is bound to 

provoke conversation and draw 

criticism. 

Ultimately, if a video is marketing 

then a notorious one is almost sure 

to generate more hype; however, is 

this degree of violence really necessary 

for marketing? It’s not quite a 

Quentin Tarantino blood-fest, but 

�� 

�� 

themselves, one thing is for sure; 

the future of Feeder/Renegades is 

entirely in the hands of Nicholas 

and Hirose. 

Beneath their commercial shell of 

Buck Rogers and Just a Day is a band 

full of creativity and diversity. Ren- 

Thomas Richards 

Having been a fan of loveable 

�� 

Paul Scholes for a while, I did 

��- 

�� 

For those of you who have yet 

to see the full explicit version, 

and are prepared to skip past the 

middle aged nudity at the start, 

the rounding up and shooting of 

several ginger adolescents is certainly 

a ‘hand on mouth’ moment. 

Is this the way forward for 

music? It certainly can do it no 

harm. Recent efforts have proved 

this, such as Beyonce and Lady 

Gaga’s latest effort with Telephone; 

another nine minute epic, with 

egades lets the Feeder boys shed 

their skin. 

Their new single ‘Call Out’ will be released 

on 14 June. For more information, 

visit their website at www.feederweb.com 

. 

a bit of a lesbian kiss here, some 

scantily clad dancing there and 

you have millions of views worldwide 

and a smash hit. 

Now a shocking video by no 

means guarantees a band to go 

onto success - has anyone seen 

Electric Six in the charts recently? 

No, me neither, but their efforts 

with Danger! High Voltage 

and Gay Bar still live long in the 

memory. 

So whilst M.I.A is probably 

not going to be getting much 

coverage on TMF in the next few 

months, she’s set achieved what 

she set out to do create something 

��one’s 

attention, and has certainly 

shook off those Slumdog Millionaire 

shackles.


gigs 

Ash 

O2 Academy Newcastle 2, 

April 25 

It seems that Ash are a band who 

have become unfairly forgotten 

amidst the surge of new British 

rock bands, best recalled by those 

who listened to Walking Barefoot all 

summer, or who remembered the 

time they knew a Girl from Mars. 

Supporting act, The Parlotones, 

do not impress, with a set that is 

at best dull and at worst severely 

irritating. 

Despite this, when Ash arrive 

onstage, featuring guest guitarist 

Russell Lissack from Bloc Party, 

there is an air of excitement and 

anticipation from the surprisingly 

middle-aged crowd. 

When the hits start rolling in, 

it’s easy to see why – A Life Less 

Ordinary, Shining Light, Walking 

Barefoot and Oh Yeah all make an 

appearance. 

When Kung Fu arrives, the 

�� 

to see why the bands popularity 

is decreasing – these songs are as 

catchy, fun, and summer-appropriate 

as they always were. 

What’s more, it’s clear that frontman 

Tim Wheeler can still do it – 

his guitar solos are brilliant and as 

he grins to the audience and says 

“Thanks a million!”, you can tell 

he means it. 

�� 

into the setlist, which culminated 

in a fantastic cover of Weezer’s 

Only In Dreams, and big hits Girl 

from Mars and Burn Baby Burn 

whose choruses can only be described 

as indestructible. 

Ben Travis 

Music Editors: Mark Corcoran-Lettice and Chris Mandle - courier.culture-music@ncl.ac.uk 

PRMNT Vibes: 

Shift-Static 

The Telegraph, April 23 

A sentence I was not expecting to 

write during my tenure as Music 

�� 

‘Bloody volcanoes, eh?’. 

But for the latest PRMNT Vibes 

extravaganza, the volcanic ash that 

has caused so many problems resulted 

in the cancellation of headliners 

A Grave With No Name. 

Bloody volcanoes, eh? 

But no worries. What we got instead 

was a cheaper but possibly 

even more cheerful gig, with all different 

strands of the Newcastle music 

community gathering for one of 

the most memorable and diverse 

evenings of music I’ve experienced 

here. 

Kicking the night off in appro- 

Hudson Mohawke 

World Headquarters, 

April 22 

With one critically acclaimed 

debut album, the Warp Recordsreleased 

“Butter”, under his belt 

and a reputation as one of Britain’s 

most forward thinking producers 

and DJs (he’s been associated with 

scenes like wonky and aquacrunk), 

Hudson Mohawke is something 

of a man of the moment. 

Bringing him to Newcastle to 

start his current UK tour, the 

brains behind Inertia were concerned 

about whether such a major 

booking could be pulled off. If the 

Alphabeat 

Northumbria University, 

April 20 

I must admit I had preconceptions 

of an Alphabeat gig: however, they 

were completely destroyed by the 

end. 

The crowd, for a start, ranged 

diversely in both age and dress and 

the support act Pearl and the Puppets 

were a fantastic surprise. 

Distinctly different to Alphabeat 

they played folk-like and soulful 

songs, with an acoustic and rustic 

vibe. 

The singer Pearl had an individual 

voice, melodic with a lovely 

twang due to her Scottish accent 

and the crowd were very receptive 

despite the band’s alternative style 

to Alphabeat’s. 

However, Alphabeat came on 

and totally stole the show as they 

had more energy and enthusiasm 

than any band that I have ever 

seen. 

The band demonstrated a love 

priately noisy form was drone duo 

Totem Recall. As ever, their combination 

of retro keyboard melodies, 

ambient noise washes and other 

assorted chaos was mind-grabbing 

and as curiously relaxing as it was 

unsettling. 

While the layout of The Telegraph 

perhaps made it a slightly more dif- 

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sound remained formidable. 

Up next were de-facto headliners 

Shift-Static. In the interests of honesty, 

I should maybe point out that 

I’m a friend of the band, but that 

doesn’t stop them being outstanding. 

With guitarist Will out of the game 

due to the afore-mentioned massive 

volcanic bastard, a stripped-down 

acoustic set was called for. 

But without the electronics or the 

dubstep beats, the beautiful songs 

they write were exposed more 

clearly than ever, as were Laura’s 

astonishing, Kate Bush-esque vocals. 

Songs like Fathers Footsteps I 

gripped the audience and received 

a rapturous, astonished response. 

packed, raving crowd was anything 

to go by though, the arrival 

of HudMo in the toon was a gam- 

�� 

Before his set though, we were 

treated to some fantastic sounds 

courtesy of Inertia residents Tim 

Shaw and Sully. Overseeing the 

night’s diverse music policy, their 

sets run the musical gamut. 

There’s smashing funk, ferocious 

dubstep beats and, in one detour, 

a crazy but superb mix that goes 

from Pixies to TV on the Radio to 

Why? - whoever said you can’t mix 

indie has clearly never heard the 

skills these guys have. 

But at one a.m, the lights dim 

even further in World Headquarters’ 

already murky upstairs, with 

a lit-up DJ booth announcing the 

arrival of Hudson. 

With MC Oliver Daysoul whip- 

and ability for music that many 

musicians don’t have, and many of 

the members rotated through different 

instruments, ranging from 

keyboards to guitars to trumpets to 

tambourines. 

Alongside this, except the drummer, 

every member of the band 

spent the entire gig jumping up 

and down or dancing around the 

stage. The lead singers Anders 

Music Culture 

The full house for their set dispersed 

slightly for Richard Dawson, 

but it’s very much their loss. 

In good humour and great form, 

he performed four new songs that 

stood up to his already formidable 

catalogue. 

Some people are great musicians, 

some are great singers, and some 

are great lyricists: Dawson manages 

to be all three simultaneously. 

Cherish this man. 

Closing the night on a more up- 

�� 

artist also present in Playground 

and SDF, whose mixture of drummachine 

manipulations, old-school 

synth builds and triumphant yells 

sounded like some awesome house 

party down at Dan Deacon’s. Chaotic 

in the best possible way. 

A good end then to a night that 

highlighted just some of the many 

fantastic sounds that can be found 

right on our doorstep – so get involved, 

yes? 

Mark Corcoran-Lettice Music Editor 

ping the already excited crowd 

into a frenzy, Hudson kicked off 

with many of his own productions 

- hey, when you’re as good as him, 

it’d be rude not too. 

While the set delivered the 

manic hip-hop thrills that had 

been promised, he wasn’t afraid to 

keep things experimental either, 

with one notable beatless, acapella 

section towards the end marking 

the apotheosis of his more playful 

tendencies. 

That it worked so well within the 

set without sounding contrived 

is a testament to his skills: that 

the crowd went with it and kept 

dancing on is a testament to the 

broad-minded approach Inertia encourages. 

Next time he’s in town, 

don’t miss him. 


SG and Stine Bramsen kept the 

audience truly absorbed despite 

them being slightly too drunk to 

decipher German from English. 

Overall, the gig was a lot of fun 

and Alphabeat showed a refreshing 

love for their music and 

performing. 

Sally Priddle


Culture 

Music 

music 

Reviews of Jonsi, Ellie Goulding and many more>>> thecourieronline.co.uk/music 

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Music Culture 

festivals 

Evolution Weekender May 30-31, £25+bf, evolutionfestival.com 

Sunday 

The opening day of the weekend’s 

musical spectacular sees the best of 

the charts at Spillers Wharf and the 

very best of the current dance scene 

taking over the Baltic Square. 

The beautiful, both physically and 

musically, mums’ and teenage girls’ 

favourite Paulo Nutini headlines 

the main stage with his acoustic 

anthems, surely the perfect way to 

round off a (hopefully) hot sunny 

relaxing day. 

There’s a distinct change of pace 

before then however, with disco 

maverick Calvin Harris likely to 

cause a storm with his smash hit 

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Local acts feature a plenty on this 

side of the river too. The ever great 

The Futureheads (pictured) guaran- 

��end, 

especially with their catchy 

Monday 

The Monday line-up of Newcastle’s 

annual Evolution festival may lack 

the Sunday’s bigger and more commercial 

names, but instead offers 

some of the UK’s brightest talents. 

Spillers Wharf headliners Enter 

Shikari made a name for themselves 

early in their career as being one of 

Britain’s biggest unsigned acts, and 

generated strong word-of-mouth 

with their original blend of metal 

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Now with two full-lengths, two 

compilation albums and various EPs 

under their belt, they’ve established 

themselves as one of England’s most 

popular metal bands, with an excellent 

live reputation. 

However, if thrash-dance-core (or 

new track Heartbeat Song, as well as 

the hotly tipped new boys on the 

scene Frankie & The Heartstrings. 

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smartest pop experimenters Field 

Music just before The Futureheads 

(pictured), and opening the main 

stage on the Sunday are Let’s Buy 

Happiness, a band that’s making 

major waves in the local scene and 

beyond right now. 

Across the Tyne in front of the 

Baltic, there is a collection of every 

great DJ to have played Digital in 

the last year or so, all together and 

for the price you would expect for 

one entrance to said club. 

Top of the bill is the incredible 

Fake Blood, creator of the inescapable 

electro classic Mars and current 

remix genius. Having played in the 

city a number of times over the last 

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this is sure to be one act not to be 

missed. 

Curated once again by local dance 

masters Wax:On, the Baltic’s sure to 

something to that effect) isn’t particularly 

your style, fear not. Second 

headliners The Horrors (pictured) 

were responsible for one of 2009’s 

be a non-stop, all day rave. 

Lower down this stage the quality 

of the acts does not diminish. Benga, 

Rusko and the Scratchperverts all 

feature, who have in turn sold out 

venues around Newcastle on previous 

visits, each bringing their own 

brand of electro, dubstep and dance 

mash ups. 

This line-up is certainly a major 

selling point, with its world class 

acts all on one stage in one day. The 

eclectic nature of the day’s offerings 

means it is a great opportunity for 

those who want to try the best of all 

musical worlds in one place. 

The varied line up is topped off 

this year by a third stage at Ballast 

Hills which features up and coming 

acts like King Creosote and The Unthanks. 

With all of this in one day, it’s unsurprising 

that the Evolution weekend 

is earning its name as the best 

city based festival. 

Polly Randall 

The Horrors will be performing at Spillers Wharf on the second day of Evolution 

top albums, NME’s best of the year, 

with their sophomore effort ‘Primary 

Colours’. 

With a history of style-over-sub- 

Evolution is no longer just limited to the main stages on the Quayside, as a number of smaller venues will also be hosting music 

Local band The Futureheads are one of Evolution’s headliners on the opening day 

stance, the album saw them move 

from being simply haircuts-withguitars 

to talented songwriters with 

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such as The Jesus and Mary 

Chain and The Cure. 

Also appearing are Dananananaykroyd, 

undoubtedly one of the 

very best live acts of the moment. 

With a tongue-twisting title and 

distinct style, they’re an incredibly 

energetic bunch of eccentric Scots 

whose self-professed ‘party-core’ is 

bound to be one of the highlights of 

the day. 

Watch out during their set to see 

if they include their now-traditional 

wall of cuddles; splitting the crowd 

in half, getting the two sides to run 

at each other and then hugging the 

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After a huge amount of media 

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her hectic touring schedule to play 

Evolution Emerging 

Evolution Festival really is the highlight 

of Bank Holiday weekend in 

Newcastle, and having showcased 

artists from Dizzee Rascal to Fight- 

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proved that it has something for 

everyone. 

And for those who are interested 

in up and coming talent, or simply 

like the prospect of free music on 

a summer evening, the festival is 

now urging music fans to “start the 

weekender in style” with its Saturday 

event - Evolution Emerging. 

Over the past few months the 

event’s organisers have been collecting 

and placing fresh talent coming 

out of the North East into a line-up 

which looks to be a perfect depiction 

of the diverse range of talented artists 

in this area. 

Evolution Emerging will take place 

across six of Newcastle’s smaller 

venues in the Ouseburn valley, in- 

the main stage, as do Everything 

Everything, who are gaining more 

buzz as the year progresses. 

On the dance stage at Baltic 

Square, headliners Delphic are set to 

bring their alternative dance sound 

to the city, with support from 

noisy grime/indie (apparently it’s 

‘grindie’, but that just sounds silly) 

band Hadouken. Fellow dance acts 

include Frankmusik, Mirrors, and 

Ou Est Le Swimming Pool. 

For something truly different, 

check out Ballast Hills for a headlining 

set from folk legend Donovan, 

currently on his retirement tour. It’s 

a rare chance to catch a sixties icon 

before he hangs the guitar up for 

good. 

It’s an eclectic mix that should 

prove a highly entertaining yet affordable 

day of music. 

Ben Travis 

cluding The Star & Shadow Cinema 

and The Cumberland Arms. 

One of the most exciting sets 

promises to be that of folk/punk 

seven-piece Young Rebel Set, who 

are back in the North East to play at 

the Cluny after a lengthy tour promoting 

their new E.P. 

Other acts to watch out for are 

Mammal Club (also at The Cluny), 

superb balladeer Nadine Shah at the 

Cluny 2 and beloved local heroes 

Brilliant Mind at The Cumberland 

Arms. There are 24 acts, so there’s 

bound to be something to please. 

And if that can’t tempt you, the 

Evolution Emerging team are promising 

“one of country’s most talked 

about bands” as a special guest 

headliner at the Cluny to be announced 

closer to the date. 

Watch this space... 

Gemma Farina


Culture 

TV & Radio 

If by the time 

election day 

rolls around, 

you’re sick to 

death of pie 

charts, pretentiousness 

and, 

er, Paxman, 

Channel 4’s irreverent election night 

coverage may well be the choice for 

you. 

Hosted by David Mitchell, Lauren 

Laverne and Jimmy Carr with 

contributions from Charlie Brooker, 

you’d be mad not to miss this political/comedic 

extravaganza. 

The show will be broadcast in front 

of an audience of comedy enthusiasts 

of varied political allegiance, 

no doubt ensuring plenty of witty 

debate. 

The presenters will interact regularly 

with the studio audience, as 

Blood, sweat and 

luxuries 

Tuesday 9pm, BBC3 

tv & radio 

tv highlights soaps 

Channel 4’s Alternative Election Night 

Thursday 9pm, C4 

Pick 

of the 

week 

BBC 

In our society today, material possessions 

that were once considered 

luxuries are now a dime a dozen but 

our demand for the latest designer 

accessories and electrical gadgets 

has only increased. 

This series seeks to educate the 

youth of today about the processes 

that occur in the third world which 

enable us to acquire our luxury items 

by examining the human cost. 

To that end, a group of six young 

British consumers are sent to various 

parts of Africa and Asia to experience 

life with the very people who 

manufacture and recycle luxury 

goods. 

��phire 

mining industry in Madagascar 

and this week the group travel to 

the coffee plantations of Ethiopia. 

This incredible series provides us 

with a profound insight into the 

dark side of our consumer culture 

and is ultimately a wakeup call that 

we could all use. 

Imran Javed 

well as reporting up to the minute 

election results minus the clichéd 

political swing-o-meters. 

Concentration always seems to be 

a bit of a problem of mine when it 

�� 

all ears, distracted only by Gordon 

Brown’s jowls or David Cameron’s 

smugness. 

However after an hour or so I become 

as twitchy as an MP whose 

expenses are about to be ousted, 

consequently switching over to Glee 

in a bid for light relief. 

This is where Channel 4’s election 

night coverage will come into its 

own, as specially recorded shows 

are played out in segments. 

Highlights look set to be Come Dine 

with Me Election Night Special, starring 

Edwina Currie. Brian Paddick, 

Derek Hatton and Rod Liddle. Hilarious 

voice-over Dave Lamb will 

European Gymnastics 

Championships 


This Tuesday sees the return of the 

Gymnastic European Championship. 

Matt Baker will present all the 

highlights from Birmingham’s National 

Indoor Arena. 

In the women’s European championship 

147 gymnasts will compete 

from 33 countries. Britain will 

be hoping for a strong performance 

in the individual and team events, 

with previous medal successors 

Beth Tweddle and Becky Downie 

among the gymnasts. 

At the 2009 European Championships, 

Beth Tweddle won two gold 

�� 

�� 

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will be hoping for a medal. 

This prestigious event is the third 

largest for gymnasts and Birmingham 

have the privilege of hosting it. 

This will be a fantastic event, with 

the best gymnasts from around Europe 

competing for those all important 

medals. 

Lynsey Fawcett 

�� 

There’s also a special edition of 

You Have Been Watching where host 

and full time King of Sarcasm Charlie 

Brooker will be joined by Robert 

Webb (let the mockery ensue). 

And after the results are in, fear 

not- Channel 4 won’t leave you in 

the lurch - coverage continues well 

Luther 


In this new six part BBC series, 

Luther�� 

thrown into an exciting and dramatic 

murder mystery every Tuesday 

night. 

Coming from the mind that 

brought us the last two series of 

Spooks, Luther promises to be a great 

mixture of suspense, intellect and 

great characters. 

But this dark thriller has a twist - 

the murderer in each story is known 

right from the beginning of each episode 

so the rest of the programme 

focusses on the psychological duel 

between the hunter and the hunted. 

�� 

murder of the parents of a child 

genius but whilst he comes to grips 

with what seems like an evidenceless 

crime, Luther also has to work 

out how to win his wife back as 

she’s left him for another man. 

�� 

and disturbing murders - what more 

could you ask for on a Tuesday? 

Aimee Philipson TV & Radio Editor 

after the gloves come off. 

Regardless of the election outcome, 

you can be safe in the knowledge 

that David Mitchell et al will 

be there to provide a touch of humour 

along the way. It gets my vote 

anyway. 

Helen Atkinson 

Modern Masters 

Sunday 9pm, BBC1 

BBC 

C4 C4 

In a four part series the BBC looks at 

�� 

of our time, focussing on Warhol, 

Matisse, Dali and Picasso. In each of 

the episodes, we discover the legacy 

of each of these four masters and 

how they shaped art history. 

�� 

pioneer of the Pop Art movement, 

Andy Warhol, infamous for his 

Marilyn Monroe prints, and features 

interviews from celebrities 

such as Dennis Hopper and Carla 

Bruni-Sarkozy. 

Famous for saying everyone will 

have their “15 minutes of fame,” 

the programme asks the question if 

Warhol really did deserve his and 

�� 

recent artists. 

�� 

look like a typical “must-see” programme, 

it certainly does deserve a 

watch even if you’re not an art bof- 

�� 

more cultured at the end. 

Ayse Djahit 

Coronation Street 

Mon, Thurs, Fri on ITV1 

�� 

cope with the loss of Blanche 

but Ken gets a shock when he 

goes in her room later in the 

week. Steve tries to help Becky 

overcome her nerves about 

adopting while Claire helps her 

to prepare with a mock interview 

but will everything go to 

plan on the big day? 

Eastenders 

Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri on 

BBC1 

�� 

out Zainab encouraged Syed 

to get married despite actually 

being a gay but he eventually 

decides it’s not worth ruining 

his marriage over. However 

he changes his mind when he 

sees Zainab’s reaction when 

Tamwar tells her he’s not going 

to university after all. 

Hollyoaks 

Weekdays at 6.30pm on C4 

Mercedes tries her best to make 

Calvin jealous by trying to seduce 

Malachy but he knows all 

too well that it’s not for his bene- 

�� 

a step further in the destruction 

of her sister’s relationship but 

she hasn’t noticed that Cheryl 

is more than just a shoulder to 

cry on for Malachy – will she be 

even more jealous? 

Emmerdale 

Weekdays at 7pm on ITV1 

Viv wants to know what happened 

to Cathy but will Nicola 

confess? Meanwhile, Nathan 

attempts to warn Declan off 

but by the end of the week the 

tables have turned. Elsewhere, 

John can’t ignore Eve’s charms. 

Neighbours 

Weekdays, 1.45pm & 

5.30pm on Five 

Harry and Andrew are still 

�� 

will win her heart? Meanwhile, 

Rebecca becomes jealous of Susan 

and Karl’s lusty relationship 

but will she do anything about 

it? Elsewhere, what the heck is 

Mia up to??? 

Home and Away 

Weekdays, 2.15pm & 

6pm on Five 

Martha is suspicious after she 

sees Alf talking to Angelo on the 

��ing 

it harder and harder to keep 

lying to her. Elsewhere, it’s not 

looking good for Aden and Justin 

now that Larry’s body has 

been discovered. Meanwhile 

Miles is devastated after he is 

suspended from teaching and 

he decides to quit the profession 

altogether. 

Aimee Philipson TV & Radio Editor


catch-up 

Dispatches: Election Uncovered 

Catch-up on 4OD 

It can safely be said that the general 

election has got everyone hooked 

�� 

they’re still hooked. 

With the three main political party 

leaders taking part in three televised 

election debates, television 

�� 

role than usual in this year’s general 

election. 

As election day looms, Dispatches 

attempts to uncover what’s really 

happening in the parties’ campaign 

�� 

scrutinising each party’s campaign 

to see what’s really been happening. 

These days, the media would have 

you believe that there is a weekly 

scandal that some MP is caught up 

in - often involving money. Expenses 

scandal ring any bells? So it’s only 

nsr 

�� 

After the easter break NSR has re- 

�� 

weeks of top student radio to feast 

your ears on. 

Through the holidays our hard 

working volunteers have found 

time between chocolate eggs and 

essays to get more exclusive interviews. 

These include great bands such 

as Boy & Bear, Adam Green and 

Surfer Blood that will be available 

both on our shows and website in 

the coming week. 

In addition, we’ve had lots of 

lovely ‘nsr: locals’ acoustic sessions 

�� 

late, the videos and audio of which 

will be up on our website shortly. 

Furthermore, in partnership with 

Evolution Festival’s ‘Emerging’ 

stage we’ll have plenty more studio 

sessions up until June, providing 

�� 

of the up and coming north-east 

acts playing this year’s festival. 

As for shows, the schedule remains 

largely unchanged so expect 

the same quality from 10am 

– 10pm weekdays. 

This includes shows which 

have recently been nominated for 

awards at the inaugural Newcastle 

Students’ Union Media Awards 

radio highlights 

The Other Guantanamo 

Wednesday 8pm, BBC WORLD 

SERVICE 

To many people, the name Guan- 

�� 

tainees in orange. But to those who 

live there, Guantanamo means green 

hills and stunning beaches, distinctive 

changui music and mouthwatering 

Jamaican and French-in- 

�� 

Documentary’ investigates. 

�� Dispatches investigates 

how much the election is costing 

the voters, and more importantly at- 

�� 

are funding their campaigns. 

In the recent US elections Barack 

Obama spent a huge amount more 

money than John McCain did on his 

campaign and it had a huge impact. 

Dispatches is helping us to see if 

our politicians are wasting excessive 

amounts of money getting us 

to vote. And we can see if we are 

slowly creeping towards American 

politics with televised debates, 

spending more and more money 

on the election campaign, maybe 

�� 

Minister soon! 

The programme also follows three 

different teams of foreign election 

observers. The aim of these teams 

tonight. 

In the Specialist shows category 

we’ve got programmes such as 

Tuesday’s diverse United World 

Music Radio and Wednesday’s local 

music round-up NSR Introduces 

and in the popular daytime show 

award category we’ve got daytime 

slots One Step Away and Stuck Between 

Stations. 

What’s more, with it being the 

business end of the University 

year, after scheduled broadcasting 

�� 

present a day specially catered for 

those revising with exclusive interviews, 

mixes and DJ sets galore for 

you to look forward to. 

Finally, both now and after we 

�� 

available via Mixcloud. 

�� 

of our recorded shows and interviews 

from this year. 

So log on to www.mixcloud. 

com/nsr and under the shows that 

�� 

NSR to keep you entertained into 

summer. 

You can also check out the NSR 

schedule on www.thecourieronline.co.uk. 

Christian Allen Station Manager 

Launching the Style 

Decade 

Thursday 11.30am, BBC R4 

Thirty years after it was launched, 

Robert Elms investigates the origins 

of The Face, the Eighties “style bi- 

�� 

publishing and high-street shops. 

The programme will last half an 

hour and will be available on BBC 

iPlayer to catch up on later in the 

week. 

is to travel around the country and 

check how democratic elections are. 

As we claim as a nation to be ‘upholding 

democracy’, it’s a fantastic 

opportunity for the nation to check 

up on the government and make 

what I listen to when I’m... 

Raving or behaving 

Knackered from all the 9am starts 

which I have miraculously made it 

in to, by the end of the week I’m in 

need of a release. 

The BBC’s leading station for the 

young comes into its own on Friday 

evenings with this gem of a show 

presented by Irish lass Annie Mac. 

Kicking off at 7pm, the show 

strives to bring us the latest in credible 

dance, electro and dubstep, 

meaning only one thing: NOISE. 

Each week’s playlist is loud, in 

your face and full of remixes - perhaps 

not the most obvious musical 

choice for revision (or writing late 

night Courier articles), but it works 

for me. 

Personally, I would rather listen to 

a bit of oomph whilst procrastinating 

like a pro than Jack Johnson any 

day, but each to their own. 

Mac clearly knows how to compile 

a playlist and her success in clubs on 

the White Island is testament to her 

ongoing aim to play the best music 

‘in the mix’. 

Currently, Annie is championing 

DJ Zinc, Caspa and I Blame Coco, so 

next time you’re You-Tubing ‘Gah 

Yah’, why not have a listen to some 

of the best contemporary club music 

Election Night 

Coverage 

Thursday, BBC R4 and R5 LIVE 

On election night the BBC will deliver 

the most comprehensive coverage 

of any broadcaster, providing at 

every single count comprehensive 

results coverage for BBC TV and 

radio, for local programmes and 

for the election website. Election 

coverage will be on throughout the 

evening. 

TV & Radio Culture 

TV & Radio Editor: Aimee Philipson - courier.culture-tv@ncl.ac.uk 

sure everything is as democratic as 

it could be. If you didn’t catch it the 

�� 

don’t miss it on 4oD. 

Clementine Manning 

around. 

Regular features on Annie Mac’s 

show include Raving or Behaving 

whereby listeners call or text in, 

pledging their allegiance to the 

show even if they’re ‘Behaving’ (i.e. 

stuck revising because the FEAR has 

kicked in). 

My favourite has got to be the 

Mini-Mix where top dance artists 

and producers (Joker, Crookers, Vi- 

�� 

ups that make you wish you could 

waste your student loan away in 

Digital every night of the week. 

You can even download a podcast 

of each mini-mix, or listen again to 

the whole show on iPlayer, thus getting 

your money’s worth from that 

ever-present license fee. Can’t hurt, 

can it? 

So while Radio 1’s daytime schedule 

continues to lose the little credibility 

it has left, Annie Mac’s Friday 

night playlist is getting bigger than 

Chris Moyles’ waistband with each 

week that passes. 

Proof that whether you’re raving 

or behaving, a bit of proper club 

music can work wonders. 

Helen Atkinson 

Bruce Dickinson’s 

Friday Night Rock Show 

Friday 9pm, BBC 6 MUSIC 

Welsh rockers Bullet For My Valentine 

takeover the Iron Maiden vocalist’s 

show, as they make their return 

with their eagerly anticipated new 

album, ‘Fever’. 

The album has been described by 

the band as “bigger and darker” 

than anything they have done before. 

Safari, so good 

Joe Mellor 

Columnist 

“I am Henry I live in a big house in 

the country, we have a moat that surrounds 

my house, we have a Tudor 

Hall, the sideboard was originally in 

Alfred Lord Tennyson’s house and 

my hero is Richard Branson.” Wow 

this guy has really made it. 

Well not exactly, Henry is ten. He 

also has a life plan, “I will go to university, 

get a car, get a girlfriend, get 

�� 

and take it from there”. When I was 

ten, I thought my local high school 

was Grange Hill and I wanted my 

classmate Keith Jones to stop eating 

my chalk. 

What poor Henry needs is a family 

holiday. Like all kids of his age he is 

concerned about the environment. 

He knows about his carbon footprint, 

he wants his holiday to be sustainable 

and if that wasn’t enough, 

the volcano in Iceland is making air 

�� 

be a bit samey. 

Well what a stroke of luck, Henry 

and the rest of the Russell family are 

going on an adventure holiday. Welcome 

to the Romford Safari, poverty 

porn for the upper classes. How the 

other half live (Channel 4, Thursday, 

9pm) offers poverty safaris. 

The Russells have the chance to 

sponsor a working class Essex family 

for a week. Unlike sponsoring a 

herd of goats through Oxfam, they 

actually get to meet them and pat 

them on their heads. And if they 

want they can feed them, with money. 

The Russell family have everything. 

The Edwards family have a 

son with a severe form of autism, 

another son who is about to be excluded 

from school, no father, a 

�� 

old daughter, all living in a cramped 

council house. 

Unlike Wife Swap the families 

all get on. This is because it isn’t a 

swap, it’s a donation. At least the 

Secret Millionaire was a surprise, the 

recipient of the cheque might not 

take the money (they always did, 

but that’s not the point). The mil- 

�� 

learnt from the people he met. The 

Russells learnt nothing from the Edwards. 

In total the Russells gave the Ed- 

�� 

room and sponsored the autistic son 

for a year. 

The Edwards then returned to the 

wild. They have predators and a 

day-to-day struggle to survive and 

will soon forget the kindness of 

their visitors. The Russells will also 

return home with fond memories. 

Henry will remark that “the safari 

was nice for a week but I wouldn’t 

go again.” 

The reliance on the Lord of the 

manor to provide for the poor and 

the fact the families wrote letters 

to each other reminded me of the 

traditional conservative values of 

the Victorians. However those who 

believe in these values and are planning 

to vote for Cameron in the 

forthcoming election will have to 

expect a lot more families like the 

Edwards to sponsor.


Culture TV & Radio 

Love him or hate him, it’s hard to 

believe that Jeremy Kyle was a relatively 

unknown name in Britain less 

�� 

�� 

and daytime television entrepreneur 

Diane Nelmes in 2007 after she 

heard Jezza’s Confessions on Capital 

FM, Jeremy Kyle has become 

a household name - if not a rather 

�� 

With 1,000 shows under his belt, 

500 DNA tests, over 500 lie detector 

�� 

Kyle has become an icon of daytime 

�� 

However, show titles such as My 

wife ran off with our lodger, If you 

don’t lose the weight and get pregnant 

I’ll leave! and I’ve been kicked out of 

my house three times for being ginger! 

�� 

��functional 

people for entertainment, 

�� 

�� 

headbutted his wife’s lover in front 

�� 

Nevertheless, with over 2 million 

�� 

�� Jeremy Kyle Show 

has become somewhat of a phenom- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

presenter was eased somewhat as 

�� - 

�� 

�� 

the two hour Q&A session held at 

�� 

�� 

is not too dissimilar from the charismatic, 

self-assured, slick man who 

appeared in front of the students 

�� 

Kyle is often characterised by the 

blunt advice he dishes out on the 

��- 

�� 

authority to make such comments? 

“Well, they came for the truth, so 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

what it’s about and people appreci- 

�� 

However he is concerned that it 

comes down to the show to help the 

�� 

��ple 

need to do this in 2010? There 

�� 

on - what does it say about society 

if these people need to come on the 

�� 

tv & radio 

interview 

�� 

Aimee Philipson speaks to controversial TV chat show 

host Jeremy Kyle about class war and politics, his own 

addiction issues and his plans for a future across the pond 

“The show is marmite; you 

either love it or you hate it” 

�� 

��- 

�� 

�� 

�� terrupts) 

but Kyle maintains that he 

�� 

�� 

��- 

�� 

loads of information from a middle 

class dinner party but we can only 

work with the people who approach 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

on the show are unemployed and 

�� - 

�� 

�� 

people who make such destructive 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

lot of people who just can’t be arsed, 

�� 

�� 

less and less tolerant, because if you 

work and you pay a load of tax and 

��- 

��- 

�� 

“We must always help people who 

can’t help themselves, but for me 

�� 

�� 

�� 

“People are fed up – we wipe a lot 

of people’s backsides in this coun- 

�� 

��fort 

to defend the morality of the 

show and maintain that the after- 

�� - 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� terwards 

they receive aftercare and 

�� 

“We keep tabs on them up to two 

�� 

�� 

The show has been described as the 

�� 

��tury 

but Kyle defends the show, 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

But the morality of the show is also 

�� 

Should these depressed and unsta- 

��dry 

on national television? 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Many people who complain about 

the show have either never seen it or 

would rather bury their head in the 

sand than confront the social issues 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

Kyle has had his fair share of 

�� 

��- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� - 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

more than they can handle or take 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

what Jeremy would do if he was 

�� 

�� 

�� 

to start at the bottom and work their 

way up – nobody wants to put in the 

�� 

“A priority for me would be to 

�� 

many soldiers who come home and 

have lost limbs or have returned to 

the UK and are now homeless and 

�� 

“Also, the family unit in this coun- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

don’t think people think about that 

�� 

��sons 

– because their mate has one 

��- 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

For now, Kyle’s future plans are 

Jeremy Kyle’s daytime hit talk show will be broadcast in America from this summer 

centred around the new American 

version of The Jeremy Kyle Show 

�� 

�� 

broadcast nationwide and will fol- 

�� 

�� 

“People come on the show 

knowing what it’s about 

and people appreciate 

honesty in this society” 

However Jeremy will also be kept 

busy with his radio show on talk- 

SPORT, his column in The Sun and 

��Pick Me Up�� 

He promises that one day he will 

�� 

will always be very close to my heart 

because of that ability to be able to 

just sit in a room on your own and 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

ITV 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

1,000 hours of me on television – 

�� 

�� 

marmite; you either love it or you 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

shows such as The Jeremy Kyle Show 

�� 

explore contemporary social issues 

�� 

Or do the exploitative and provok- 

�� 

��tion 

of British society in the media? 

�� 

remained the title of a show than a 

�� 

�� 

knows what would happen?


Sports Sports Editors: Editors: Paul Paul Christian, Christian, Jamie Jamie Gavin Jamie and Gavin Tom and James Tom - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk 

James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk 

When Zinedine Zidane 

lit up the 

world with his performance 

in the 1998 

�� 

wasn’t the only one making history 

on that warm Paris evening. 

26-year-old English commentator 

Guy Mowbray was behind the microphone 

for Eurosport at the Stade 

�� 

ever broadcaster to commentate on 

�� 

Over a decade later and Mowbray 

�� 

commentates for the BBC on England’s 

games at this year’s World 

Cup in South Africa. 

It has been some journey for the 

broadcaster who began working for 

Clubcall and BBC Radio York covering 

the likes of Scarborough and 

�� 

�� 

North East commentating on Sunderland 

for Metro Radio and Sun 

FM. 

Mowbray is now a Match of the Day 

�� 

�� 

BBC’s commentary team this summer. 

When England line up for their 

third group game on June 23 – the 

�� 

�� 

�� 

brings all the drama and the action 

alive from pitch-side in Port Elizabeth. 

�� 

will be his seventh major tourna- 

�� - 

�� 

the England-factor that will make 

this one particularly special. 

“I’m massively looking forward to 

it. I’m just so lucky to be able to be 

there at these games – I’ve not done 

an England game at a major tournament 

since 1998. 

“One of the main reasons is because 

– and I say this at my peril – I 

genuinely think England have a really 

good chance. 

“A major tournament is like a 

�� 

�� 

before every game and just enjoy 

the whole thing. 

“There’s a lot of work involved but 

it doesn’t even feel like work. 

“You build up momentum with 

�� 

get home that you really think back 

and think how much you’ve enjoyed 

it. 

“When you cover a game – and 

I’ve got to be honest – I just go into 

�� 

team against another. I just call it 

how I see it. 

�� 

�� 

able to be there at these games.” 

So as St. George crosses hang in 

bedroom windows and out of car 

�� 

number of us tune in to watch Eng- 

�� 

describing the action to millions of 

viewers on the BBC. 

Should Fabio Capello’s side 

�� 

every England game after the group 

�� 

well be behind the microphone in 

�� nal. 

�� 

on this occasion England can go all 

�� 

�� 

��sion 

for England. 

“It would be the ultimate to commentate 

on England in a World Cup 

��land 

football fan. 

�� 

you just hope you don’t ruin it for 

�� 

you’re just a vehicle bringing them 

the game – people don’t really care 

who the commentator is if he does a 

good job. 

“My whole idea is that a commentator 

is like a referee. You should 

complement the action and be noticed 

if you’re not there. 

“Obviously I’m an England supporter 

and you make it clear who 

you would like to win and you’re 

�� 

but you have to give credit when it’s 

due to the opposition as well.” 

Mowbray picked up the Newcomer 

of the Year Award from the Royal 

Television society for his work at 

��- 

�� 

commentary. 

“I think I did nearly all the France 

games so I was following them all 

�� 

win it was just wonderful. 

�� 

game of my life I can still picture 

every goal. 

Hurricanes feel 

the Loko-motion 

> Intra Mural Football, page 40-41 

The voice of a nation 

BBC World Cup commentator Guy Mowbray 

�� Sports Editor Jamie Gavin 

ahead of this summer’s festival of football 

Guy Mowbray will cover the England games for the BBC at this summer’s World Cup 

Intra Mural Cup 

glory for Hurricanes 

> Page 54-55 

Three card trick: referee Graham Poll issues a second yellow card to Croatia’s Josip Simunic, but he failed to send the defender off 

“Most games I forget about a week 

�� 

especially [Emanuel] Petit running 

�� 

of my favourite memories.” 

Mowbray has covered every ma- 

�� 

plenty of action and incident to describe 

on the way. 

His stand out moment on the BBC 

occurred in Germany at the last 

��lishmen 

– as referee Graham Poll 

issued three yellow cards before dismissing 

Croatia’s Josip Simunic in a 

group game against Australia. 

Mowbray was on hand to point 

�� 

straight away. 

“That’s one of my favourite World 

�� 

game. 

��- 

�� 

but there’s always an element of 

�� 

fortunate in that I was absolutely 

�� 

a check during the game on the stats 

feed. 

“When he got booked again - I 

looked at my co-commentator Gavin 

�� 

of shrugged his shoulders. 

“I could see John Champion look- 

�� 

for it and said ‘Graham Poll’s just 

made the most monumental error of 

his career. Simunic has to go.’ 

�� 

but I wasn’t pleased for Graham 

�� 

was really unlucky about it.” 

Having seen most of the world’s 

top talent commentating on the 

Champions League and the Pre- 

�� bray 

is well placed to make some 

calculated World Cup predictions. 

�� 

this years tournament? 

“Obviously Lionel Messi and hopefully 

Wayne Rooney. It will also be 

good for us to have a look at Ronaldo 

again – it will be interesting to 

see how he has progressed. 

“Those of us that don’t watch 

�� 

�� 

Real Madrid. 

“But as well as the usual suspects 

there’s also people we’ve forgot- 

�� 

showed in the Champions League 

just what a player he can be. 

�� 

�� 

�� 

really mentioned the Dutch. As a 

�� 

But Mowbray is backing England 

��perience 

covering games so far this 

�� 

the country’s supporters which pro- 

�� 

side in the quest to end the 44-year 

period without a major honour. 

“We have the best supporters at 

every tournament. There’s no other 

�� 

�� 

and they just absolutely take over. 

“It’s a fabulous sight because the 

games are just like home games – in 

fact possibly better than Wembley.” 

�� 

�� 

Mowbrays’ optimism and passion 

for the game.


Sport 

Captured in motion: Gazza’s tears, Waddle’s 

miss and a nation’s heartbreak at Italia ‘90 

Sports Editor Paul Christian looks forward to the 

release of One Night in Turin�� 

�� 

In the summer of 1990 Britain fell in 

love with football again. A year after 

the Hillsborough disaster brought 

the decade to a devastating close, 

the national team led the country on 

an emotional journey through Italia 

‘90. 

It was a tournament notable for 

countless things: Schillachi’s celebrations, 

the Cameroonian assault 

of Claudio Caniggia, and Ireland’s 

�� 

But England were centre stage on 

�� 

Emmy-nominated director James 

Erskine has unearthed fresh footage 

�� 

Germany. 

One Night in Turin is a documentary 

that retells the story of the epic 

match - still the most watched sporting 

event in British TV history. It’s 

�� All Played Out, the 

bestselling book by Pete Davies and 

features previously unseen images, 

fetched from archives in Italy and 

Middlesbrough. 

Erskine said: “It’s a story about a 

bunch of characters who overcome 

adversity. Bobby Robson is the 

leader with his band of brothers, 

�� 

set out against the odds to win the 

greatest prize of all. 

On their way they must overcome 

many trials and tribulations. They 

�� 

they achieve something greater – the 

hearts and minds of the people.” 

The protagonists include some 

�� 

�� 

Bobby Robson consoles - a story woven 

into the fabric of English folklore. 

But it goes further, following 

the personal stories of each at a time 

�� 

�� 

excitement is growing within football 

fans across the globe. 

�� 

should be more than optimistic 

about getting their hands on the 

most wanted sporting prize in history, 

after a long 44-year wait. 

The ‘golden era’ England team is 

beginning to grow into its stride 

under a stern reign of Capello, and 

our star-studded England team has 

a lot to prove this summer. 

However, over egos and injury 

problems are always an issue with 

England, and with incidents such 

as Terry’s loss of captaincy, Ashley 

�� 

Rooney’s recent ankle injury, even 

Capello may struggle to handle 

the obstacles of the modern day 

footballer. 

It’s time to take a good look at 

what we’ll be up against this summer. 

Spain (4/1 fav) 

Capello has already highlighted 

when the game was closer to everyday 

life. 

“The identity of Newcastle is a 

�� 

a lot of the stretching elements in 

Gateshead. 

“One of the noticeable elements 

��ball 

and footballers now and then. 

Sir Bobby Robson took the tube to 

�� 

in a sausage factory before being 

plucked from obscurity. The sensibility 

of what football means and 

the characters were completely different 

than today.” 

Set against the backdrop of the poll 

tax riots in England, and the fall of 

�� 

how sport unites a nation at the 

toughest of times, and becomes a 

�� 

And, although Erskine was eager 

to deny that it’s purely a nostalgia 

piece, there was a certain twinge of 

fondness in his voice when he talked 

about that period in his life 

“I really remember the tournament, 

that summer – the political backdrop 

at the time, the music, the matches. 

For a while things had been pretty 

gloomy, and then suddenly out of 

nowhere came this great change. If 

you look at how teams play, it kind 

of resembles the character of a nation 

at a given time.” 

Not much was expected of England, 

and it suited them well. They 

played with passion and style as 

Gazza-mania reached fever pitch 

and Platt netted winners in extra 

time. It was refreshing football following 

the atrocities that blighted 

the game throughout the 80s. 

But the drastic change of image in 

the tournament’s wake was a sign 

Spain’s strengths, and he was 

extremely short on the weaknesses. 

Spain have become boringly 

brilliant over the past few tournaments, 

and recently winning Euro 

2008 only highlights their domination 

of the European candidates. 

�� 

strength in Torres, qualifying top 

goal scorer David Villa and top 

form Fabregas, they are surely the 

ones to beat. 

Fabregas suffered a minor fracture 

�� 

Champions League clash with Barcelona 

in late March, but although 

he may miss the rest of his Premier 

League campaign, he should still be 

�� 

Spain cruised into the tourna- 

�� 

maximum points gained, it is no 

�� 

favourites to win their second successive 

major international trophy. 

Brazil (5/1) 

Five times winners Brazil know all 

��ever 

2002 was a long time ago, and 

big name players such as Ronaldo, 

�� 

of things to come as money was 

thrown at players and clubs alike 

from every direction. 

“To me it feels like going back 50 

years in time. In 1990 the whole 

squad was worth a million pounds 

in sponsorship deals. The pinnacle of 

their life and they probably earned 

£30,000. That’s what a footballer 

might earn in two days today. 

“For better or for worse 2010 is a 

different kind of game. I think that 

people feel more for their clubs. The 

depth of feeling doesn’t stretch to 

the national side.” 

��ry, 

but a melodramatic re-working of 

live footage with never before seen 

shots, including a poignant moment 

between Robson and Gascoigne af- 

��ence 

is 2006’s superb Zidane: A 21st 

Century Portrait. 

Ronaldinho, Rivaldo and Roberto 

Carlos, have long gone or lost form. 

But were they have lost old talents 

they have most certainly gained 

new, as the country known as the 

home of football, just keeps creating 

geniuses. 

High performing, Real Madrid 

start Kaka, is the latest young 

Brazilian talent that will be a threat 

this June. His personal form could 

�� 

campaign. 

England will still be suffering 

from Ronaldinhos’ 40-yard lob of 

David Seaman in 2002, but his form 

has recently deteriorated and wor- 

�� 

his actual involvement in Brazil’s 

squad at all, this summer. 

Brazil face the Ivory Coast and 

Portugal in the group stage, so 

plain sailing isn’t apparently on the 

cards for Brazilian legend, and current 

coach, Dunga. 

Argentina (9/1) 

“This is for those who did not 

believe in the national team and 

treated me like dirt - they will now 

have to accept this.” (Diego Mara- 

“It’s not like a traditional sports 

��ing 

the whole time from different 

angles. Not just the world in mo- 

�� 

thinking, what people are doing. 

��constructed 

elements of the games 

to give that feel shown in the Zidane 

�� 

to create drama.” 

Released a month before England’s 

venture to South Africa for the 2010 

�� One Night in Turin reminds 

viewers of the power of football 

on the biggest stage; how it can 

swell the heart of an entire nation. 

�� 

nerve. 

“Anybody should be able to come 

�� 

hate football. It’s a story that moves 

you, it’s about characters. I defy an- 

dona, after just qualifying for South 

Africa 2010). 

The enigma, that is Argentina. 

This is a potential time bomb in 

this year’s tournament, and could 

�� 

group stage hurdle. 

Under the guidance of eccentric 

genius Maradona, Argentina just 

scraped into this year’s tournament 

by the skin of their teeth, leaving 

many thinking that Maradona 

should have kept his skills on the 

pitch. 

Argentina were within minutes 

of not qualifying for the world 

�� 

Mario Bolattis’ goal secured a 1-0 

��tion. 

�� 

awarded by Diego, this could have 

been a key factor to their inconsistency. 

However, Argentina are blessed 

with a talent, which throws memories 

back of a time when Maradona 

himself graced the pitch, in Lionel 

Messi. 

Messi has yet to prove himself 

on the international stage and, in 

South Africa, the best player in the 

�� 

to be seriously moved by the end of 

it.” 

Most of us know the ending, but 

One Night in Turin promises to take 

us on a journey before our time. 

Tuned to the sound of New Order, 

James and Inspiral Carpets (amongst 

�� 

you reeling over football’s lost innocence, 

before quickening the blood 

in anticipation of next month’s momentous 

tournament. 

One Night in Turin is released on May 

11 for one day only across selected UK 

screens and will be available to buy on 

DVD from the May 31. The Odeon Metrocentre 

is hosting a special screening 

�� 

with the director. Tickets are priced at 

£10 and can be bought through the cinema 

website. 

�� 

James Burns 

World Cup 

world has many pundits to answer 

to. 

Italy (12/1) 

The golden oldies and current 

holders Italy will be hoping to keep 

one hand on that Cup for a second 

successive year. 

But with players such as Buffon, 

Zambrotta, Grosso, di Natale, Pirlo, 

Cannavaro and Legrottagille all 30 

�� 

too far for Marcello Lippi’s men. 

Italy’s fairly easy group of Paraguay 

Slovenia and least favour- 

�� 

Zealand, doesn’t really pose much 

of threat. 

�� 

win will surely still be fresh in the 

mind of many Italian football fans, 

but since 2006, they have slowly 

slipped away as one of the biggest 

threats from Europe, with teams 

such as Spain and England bigger 

favourites. 

Jose Mourinho recently quoted 

that Seria A wasn’t perhaps as good 

as it used to be, and in my opinion 

��national 

squad.


Sport 

World Cup 

Mixed media images of South Africa 


Comment Editor 

“So which one of these huts was 

like, Mr. Mandela, actually born 

in?” 

Our bus was pulled over by the 

side of the road, cameras facing 

Nelson Mandela‘s home village; 

a collection of small corrugated 

iron huts which probably wouldn’t 

stand one year, let alone 90. 

Behind the backs of the cameras 

on the other side of the road is his 

current residence, a substantial, 

walled and comfortable home: 

rather less ‘photogenic’. 

It wasn’t only for this village that 

the zoom lenses came out. All the 

way along our journey from Cape 

Town to Johannesburg last summer, 

the cameras appeared more 

often for townships and slums than 

for sunsets or landscape. 

As the World Cup approaches it 

feels like this encapsulates the way 

South Africa 2010 is being viewed. 

Undoubtedly, it is not a fully ‘developed’ 

country. 

Outside of the European-esque 

luxury of Cape Town are acres of 

slum housing. When you leave the 

Garden Route, the area of coast 

from Cape Town to Port Elizabeth, 

the change from middle class sub- 

�� 

poverty, shacks, barren land and 

a sudden diminishment of white 

people is shocking. 

There is crime, there are problems 

with racism; things which have 

been particularly utilised in the 

negative build up to the tournament. 

However, there are a huge 

�� 

Dan Robinson, Alex Burnett, 

Salisu Mohammed 

The World Cup is just around the 

corner, and within a few short 

months football’s elite will compete 

against one another for the greatest 

prize in the game. 

It is a time of national pride, when 

even football hooligans can put 

aside their differences to represent 

their nation, even if it is not for the 

most desirable acclaim. However, 

as the 32 squads are announced, it 

brings forward the question as to 

just how patriotic the World Cup 

actually is. 

The notion of ‘blood over place’ 

attracts some strong opinions when 

it comes to players selecting which 

country to play for and showcase 

their skills. 

For, there are two tiers of footballers; 

those who move to another 

country in order to maximise their 

potential ability, and those who are 

born in another country after their 

parents or grandparents had earlier 

emigrated. The fact that these nations 

are often former colonialists 

�� 

�� 

considered a necessity. Success in 

their homeland is highly unlikely, 

and a move to one of the European 

football hotspots such as England 

or France provides them with the 

�� 

�� 

Raw beauty: the image of the brand new World Cup stadium in Cape Town and the back-drop of Table Mountain will become one of the iconoc features of this year’s tournament 

and to its hosting of the World Cup 

that are being ignored in the search 

for shock factor stories. 

This World Cup will bring a lot 

to South Africa. Infrastructure has 

been greatly improved, meaning 

not only new roads, public 

transport systems and refurbished 

airports but jobs. 

The new stadiums mean the same. 

The volume of tourists will also 

bring money; many of the hostels 

we stayed at were already fully 

booked, and charging double the 

price. 

players in European football that 

the African Nations Cup, held midseason 

in these leagues, can make 

or break a season for their clubs. 

So if players of African descent 

are considered integral members of 

the top clubs in Europe, why is the 

continent not adequately represented 

on the greatest world stage, 

with no African side ever getting 

past the Quarter Final stage of the 

competition? 

The answer is simple. For a 

number of years now, the best players 

who have emigrated to these 

colonial countries have been handpicked 

by their adopted country to 

play for their national sides, thus 

robbing their native country of the 

sort of talent which would allow 

them to compete at the top level. 

Two key members of France’s 

1998 World Cup winning side, Zinedine 

Zidane and Marcel Desailly, 

were not born on French land, 

instead hailing from Algeria and 

Ghana respectively. Yet knowledge 

of their heritage is scarce and they 

will always be held up as French 

heroes for their achievements. 

One argument would be to state 

that this is merely false patriotism 

as they were representing a country 

which was not their true motherland. 

The counter to this would be that 

both players were simply answering 

the innate human characteristic 

of any athlete, which is to ulti- 

There’s a huge amount of excitement 

for the Cup in SA, and across 

Africa. When I was in Tanzania in 

2007 people were already planning 

their drives down, and huge, frenzied 

billboards across SA proclaim 

‘Bafana Bafana’ or ‘the boys, the 

boys’ (the nickname for the South 

African squad). 

It fosters interest in sport, and a 

pan race feeling of national, continental 

and global community and 

pride; importantly it includes and 

offers Africa a place in the latter. 

It is a huge deal for all of Africa, 

mately be successful. A footballer’s 

dream is to win every accolade 

possible, and it could be argued 

that nationality can sometimes be a 

burden to this ultimate vision. 

Take George Weah, voted African 

Player of the Century and regarded 

as one of the game’s all-time greats. 

Yet he remains the only winner of 

the FIFA World Player of the Year, 

which he won in 1995, to have 

never featured in the World Cup 

due to the weakness of his Liberian 

national side. 

Despite playing international football 

for 14 years, he only amassed 

60 caps as Liberia failed to match 

their greatest player’s talent. That’s 

just one more than Phil Neville won 

for England. 

However, whilst it would be easy 

to claim that Weah’s talent went 

to waste by never featuring in the 

world’s most prestigious sporting 

tournament after the Olympics, 

it would be wrong to mock his 

unquestionable patriotism. 

For years, he played, coached 

and even funded the national side 

in a bid to reach the World Cup, 

but could not break their obvious 

limitations. 

And for some this is the only 

thing which matters. Representing 

your country, no matter where they 

stand in the world rankings, is an 

honour of the highest regard, and 

any relative success with them will 

always outbalance any accomplish- 

something that hasn’t gone un- 

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and emblem showing a man heading 

and kicking a football form the 

shape of the whole continent. 

Africa’s the second largest continent 

in the world with just over 

20% of the world’s land, and it’s 

time it wasn’t seen as somewhere 

without merit or structure, somewhere 

too frightening and dangerous 

to visit. 

The continent‘s, and South Africa’s, 

problems cannot be ignored, 

but nor should they be seen as a 

ments with a nation you moved to 

on the cusp of adulthood. 

At the end of the day, it is all 

about the individual, as personal 

aspirations are always going to exist. 

Sport is built upon companionship, 

and if opportunity allows we 

should all be able to compete in the 

atmosphere we feel most comfortable 

in. 

However, this should not be 

sideline attraction in some kind of 

global freak-show. 

We wouldn’t expect visitors to 

the 2012 Olympics to take a day 

trip to Tower Hamlets to take a few 

photos to show their friends how 

hardcore their holiday was. 

It is about time Africa hosted the 

World Cup, and South Africa is the 

obvious choice from the continent. 

It loves football just as much, has as 

much to do, and as many potential 

pitfalls, as any other host nation, 

and the camera needs to capture 

more than just the bad. 

Blood over place: a World Cup of false patriotism? 

Success, but does it come at a price of silverware over patriotism? Zinedine Zidane and 

Marcel Desailly celebrate after their memorable World Cup win with France in 1998 

exploited by the big international 

teams, who are sometimes accused 

of striving to retain the status quo 

often seen at club level. 

The World Cup is the greatest 

football show on earth, and should 

always remain a showcase of 32 

teams competing to win, rather 

than just eight teams with players 

brought in from all corners of the 

earth.


Sport 

The man who 

won gold but 

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We did well at the World Indoor 

Record breaker: Jonathan Edwards celebrates breaking the triple jump world record at the 1995 World Athletics Championships 

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about your personal 

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Sport 

Oar inspiring: Newcastle’s Boat Club President Andrew Corrigan will be hoping his team emulate the success of last year when they take on the Durham squad whose President is Corrigan’s former schoolmate Benji Dawes 

Newcastle eye second Boat Race win 

Tom James Sports Editor 

The 14th Boat Race between Newcastle 

and Durham universities 

takes place along the River Tyne on 

Sunday 9 May with Newcastle looking 

to retain the title they won for 

�� 

Four teams of eight take part from 

each University; two novice crews 

of male and females and two senior 

�� 

Each race is just as important, as 

the title is given to the university 

with most wins on the day, giving 

�� 

Newcastle Head Coach Angelo 

�� 

coach having won one, lost two and 

drawn one of the Boat Races he has 

been involved in with Newcastle 

University’s Boat Club, believes that 

The Newcastle University ladies 

squash club have had a successful 

year, bringing in new talent and seeing 

a marked improvement within 

�� 

The team once again put in an excellent 

performance in the all important 

Stan Calvert, winning 7-1 overall 

with a thrilling match between 

our top seed Monique Shahid and 

the competition will be extremely 

close this year and may come down 

to who can handle the pressure on 

�� 

“The weather will play a big part 

and it may come down to nerves on 

the day as when a team is behind 

there is a chance they will break,” 

�� 

It is down to the cox to keep the 

eight rowers motivated throughout 

the race whilst steering the boat 

and picking the best line down the 

river, all whilst keeping everyone 

�� 

Savarino said: “They may not be 

directly involved physically but 

they play a big part in the team and 

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are like the driver in an F1 car, but 

�� 

Savarino believes there is a miscon- 

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The Northumbria local league, 

captained by Ashley Hay, saw the 

team pull out some superb performances 

winning 13 out of 19 matches 

�� 

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ception about rowing at Newcastle 

University as he takes exception to 

the claim that it is a ‘posh’ sport and 

he argues that the novice crews are 

testimony to his belief that if you 

have the physical attributes you can 

�� 

“The University has a very good 

�� 

year the women’s seniors were 

made up of novice rowers and the 

talent in the senior men is made up 

of around 60 per cent experience 

�� 

Regardless of whether the com- 

�� 

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that: “Everybody feels very strongly 

�� 

highlights of the season, especially 

for the beginners as it gives them a 

�� 

The season saw a huge challenge 

for the seconds - captained by Rachel 

Broadbent - after being promoted to 

BUCS Northern Conference Wom- 

�� 

itself as Newcastle are the only uni- 

�� 

The side brought in new talent in 

the form of Freyja Docherty and 

�� 

league, but the team has improved 

immensely since the start of the sea- 

One former University rower who 

took part in the race on three occasions 

before going on to row for the 

successful Cambridge eight in the 

2010 Oxbridge Boat Race is Fred 

�� 

�� 

novice’s race before destroying Durham 

as part of the senior eight and 

�� 

He said: “Not only did we win, 

but we won by two lengths; we 

smashed them, which was an amaz- 

�� 

“The nerves were incredible because 

I’d never done anything like 

�� 

of rowing and I just hadn’t raced at 

�� 

“It’s such a brilliant course to row 

through with the Millennium Bridge 

�� 

son due to the experience of playing 

in challenging and exciting match- 

�� The thirds battled on, captained by 

�� 

BUCS Northern Conference 2B but 

achieved some whitewash wins over 

Northumbria seconds and Bradford 

�� 

The team also reached the quarter- 

��ence 

Cup after thrashing Northum- 

When the crews line-up for the 

start - one on the more favourable 

Gateshead side of the river, and the 

other on the Newcastle side - Durham, 

with all of their coaches and 

superior numbers, will be expected 

�� 

However, Savarino said: “Durham 

have the edge but it will be close and 

on the day anything can happen but 

�� 

“It is hard to judge technically 

who is better but we are mentally 

�� 

When the arms are tired and the 

legs are burning towards the end of 

the race as the rough waters of the 

Tyne take their toll, the winner may 

be decided by sheer guts and determination 

and it may be this mental 

toughness which sees the Newcastle 

�� 

Mixed season for squash girls but seconds claim promotion 

Nicola Bowen 

bria seconds 4-0, before losing out to 

�� 

The team would like to thank 

coach Tom Forsyth, who has helped 

them improve throughout the sea- 

�� 

president Rachel Broadbent for her 

enthusiasm and commitment to 

�� 

Cunnington for her amazing organisational 

skills and efforts at devel- 

��


Sport 

�� 

Chris Taylor 

Newcastle’s golf team heroically 

played their way back into the BUCS 

Premier League after victory over 

two legs against southern champions 

Warwick University. 

The club will rejoin the top tier of 

University sport after their relegation 

last season. 

�� 

the Easter break at Newcastle’s 

home course, Matfen Hall, and the 

team produced a solid display on 

torrid putting surfaces to take a 4-2 

lead into the second leg. 

The win meant that the Newcastle 

side needed 2.5 points from six in 

order to win the play off – no mean 

feat considering none of the team 

had played or even heard of Warwick’s 

home course of Kenilworth 

GC. 

Lee Fuller was still sidelined following 

his bizarre putting green injury 

incident at the home leg before 

the holiday, so fresher Peter Sym 

was drafted in to deputise. 

�� 

and Fraser Allan opened with a solid 

front nine, each one up and three 

up respectively. 

In the middle pairing, Carl Downham 

was playing good golf at two 

up through nine, whilst Chris Taylor 

found himself unlucky to be two 

down. 

At the turn in the back pairing, 

Ethan Smith was taking a batter- 

�� 

was plucking away at one down. At 

Fran Infante Deputy Editor 

Every week 2,500 Newcastle students 

participate in recreational 

sport through the University Intra 

Mural Programme, but what most 

people don’t realise is that around 

250 of them are netballers. 

This underpublicized element of 

the extensive University sporting 

programme consists of the three 

separate leagues, in which eight 

teams compete, with a total of 24 

teams participating weekly. 

Just like the football and rugby 

leagues, the teams are formed from 

branches of existing sporting clubs 

or academic societies as well as 

groups of friends who enjoy the opportunity 

for social exercise with a 

healthy dose of competition. 

As the play-offs enter their second 

rounds, this sense of friendly 

competition is rapidly heating up. 

NUSSC have had a scorcher of a 

year, remaining unbeaten after 11 

matches and occupying the top spot 

in two out of the three leagues. 

As a result they have been given a 

�� 

making them the team to beat. Captain 

Caroline Clapp however remains 

down to earth. 

“We just turn up and play” she 

told The Courier, “I’m not really sure 

how it’s happened; we just have a 

lot of fun. 

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positive, we’ve won the Tuesday 

league in other years but we’ve 

never won the whole thing before. 

It’s been a whole new mix of people 

this year; we really want to win. 

Looking to defend their position as 

last year’s champions are the Northern 

Monkeys; their captain Georgie 

Starkey spoke to The Courier and re- 

Driving forward: the golf team, captained by Carl Downham (centre), overcame a strong Birmingham side to get back in the big time 

this point the game was in any one’s 

hands; a good run from a number of 

players easily having the potential 

to completely change the face of the 

�� 

this year. 

She said: “We started the team 

ourselves last year, so it was amaz- 

�� 

the leagues. 

“NUSSC have done really well 

this year but I think we still have 

a good chance, we beat teams who 

beat them last year and we also beat 

them at an external tournament in 

Sunderland. I think it all just comes 

down to the day.” 

When asked about the role of Intra 

Mural netball within the University 

she responded, “I’d really like to see 

our team keep going after we gradu- 

�� 

netball leagues so that more people 

feel like they can get involved and 

enjoy it. 

“You don’t even have to be a northerner 

to play for us” she laughed, 

“we’ve let the odd southerner in 

and we don’t mind them really, it’s 

just for fun.” 

Starkey’s side are not the only ones 

ready to give NUSSC a run for their 

money, as the Toothfairies have had 

an impressive season winning their 

league. 

Having made it to the play-offs for 

the last two years and fallen at the 

last hurdle, captain Katy Wilson is 

determined to take the challenge to 

the opposition: 

“There is no point being intimidated, 

we just have to play our best, 

we have a big squad and we aim to 

win every match, even if we think 

it’s going to be easy, we all get stuck 

in and do our best. It’s good to shake 

things up.” 

Participation and Events Manager 

Denis Murphy who oversees Intra 

Mural sports echoed Starkey’s comments. 

game. 

However, the Newcastle boys took 

initiative, with Carl Downham pro- 

�� 

He said: “It’s important for clubs to 

go out and recruit new players and 

�� 

perhaps don’t know the opportunities 

around them and that there are 

recreational teams that they can eas- 

�� 

make new friends. 

�� 

they have proved to be very popular 

– I’ve opened the registration for 

next year’s Saturday teams and already 

50% of the places have been 

taken. 

“This is great news but it also 

means that there is a limited opportunity 

for freshers arriving in 

September because all the spots are 

�� 

“The Sports Centre is under a lot 

of pressure to allocate space fairly 

to all the sports, and there is never 

enough, but you can put me on 

record saying that I’ll look into a 

Saturday afternoon outdoor league 

to cater to more teams. 

“This has problems of its own in 

that these games are more vulnerable 

to the bad winter weather conditions, 

but if there is the demand 

we will do our best to accommodate 

it.” 

When asked for his predictions 

�� 

which is scheduled for two Satur- 

�� 

going to be a tough one, Northern 

Monkeys are still very much in it to 

defend their position as champions 

but NUSSC have such consistency 

this year it’s hard to say. 

�� 

gone means that they won’t meet 

�� 

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season. 

“Our Intra Mural set-up is superior 

iron striking, dispatching his opponent 

6&5. As ever, steady veteran 

�� 

match, winning 4&2. 

to most other universities. Loughborough 

and Durham are two of the 

��nitely 

up there with them. 

“The recreational level is inviting 

but there are also a lot of very 

Newcastle looked like they were 

going to be champions, however 

things took a turn for the worse as 

news of Ethan Smith’s heavy defeat 

reached the top pairings, shortly followed 

by Warwick gaining another 

point after Peter Sym failed to get 

going and was beaten 4&3. 

This left two active games from 

which Newcastle needed half a 

point. 

Chris Taylor, having been two 

down at the turn, found himself 

all square on the 16th after a great 

birdie on the par four 15th, but an 

errant tee shot on 16, followed by an 

unusually disappointing approach 

on 17 meant he too succumbed to 

defeat, losing 2&1. 

The team now needed Fraser Allan 

to step up and close out his game 

from the 18th tee. 

A lovely up and down from a lie 

described by the spectators as ‘pure 

�� 

with it the 3-3 second leg draw and 

an overall 7-5 aggregate victory for 

Newcastle secured promotion. 

The result caps a simply stunning 

�� 

whose talent, guile and determination, 

coupled with an outstanding 

team spirit has meant they remain 

undefeated for the entire league season. 

With the extremely tough test of 

premier league golf next season, it 

is hoped that a good recruitment 

in September will enable incoming 

club president Fraser Allan to build 

a golf team to rival the big boys. 

�� 

talented sportsmen and women 

involved who enjoy their sport but 

don’t want it to take over their lives, 

they work hard to keep their teams 

going but they also enjoy university 

life as well, participation is key.”


Sport 

Fenn proud of 

�� 

after season 

of success 

Jonathon Taylor 

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John Fenn was 

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this season, and he 

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Rugby Union 

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What in your opinion have been 

the main successes of the club this 

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Fenn of honour: Director of Rugby John Fenn praised both the men’s and the women’s clubs after a fantastic 2009/10 season 

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A. WILSON 

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Sport 

�� 

Jamie Gavin Sports Editor 

It’s been another successful year 

for Team Newcastle, and although 

they might just miss out on the top 

ten this time around, the University 

continues to rival some of the best 

sporting institutions in the country. 

Vicky Tyas has overseen a period 

of continued development in the 

Athletic Union, and she presided 

over a record 51.5 point Stan Calvert 

victory that will go down in history. 

She is soon to hand over the reins 

to Charley Wright, who stood unopposed 

for the position in the March 

elections, and The Courier sat down 

with Wright and Tyas as they re- 

�� 

looked forward to the future of 

Team Newcastle. 

“I’ve achieved everything I set out 

to achieve”, said Tyas. “We won 

Stan Calvert, we’re high up in the 

BUCS rankings and we’re in a good 

�� 

Tyas earmarked a possible 12th 

�� 

but added that if results go Newcastle’s 

way between now and the end 

of the season, the University could 

push slightly higher. 

�� 

top ten. The standard of university 

sport is getting better and better. We 

�� 

we haven’t got the resources that 

other universities have.” 

“It’s down to funding primarily, 

but also to the recruitment systems 

that other universities have where 

they offer lower grades. We, as a 

Russell Group university can’t do 

that, and as a result we don’t always 

attract some of the very best talent 

across all sports.” 

The incoming Wright was also 

keen to stress the importance of recruitment 

as he looked forward to 

taking over in July. 

“We need to be quite focused on 

our recruitment because we can’t 

just lower the grade boundaries or 

offer you thousands and thousands 

of pounds. 

“We’re also looking for students 

who have got both athletic as well 

as academic attributes – they’re the 

ones we want to come here because 

we can offer them a really good academic 

experience as well as a great 

sporting experience.” 

And part of the sporting experience 

in recent years has been the all-new 

Team Newcastle brand, launched 

over the past two seasons by the AU 

and the Sports Centre. 

�� 

on his predecessor, and stressed the 

importance of the Team Newcastle 

brand. 

“Team Newcastle is Vicky’s legacy. 

I know it started coming in with 

�� 

in place and the whole University 

should be pretty grateful. I look to 

build on that and make it more successful 

from there. 

“Having a brand and a logo and 

a theme gives you much more of a 

presence of your team all around 

you. It just has a more professional 

feel to it, that you’re all one team 

and you can take pride in other people’s 

results as well as your own. 

“It’s makes a big difference on days 

like Stan Calvert, when everyone’s 

wearing the same stash. You have 

your own team ethics within each 

club, but when you have a team of 

students from 57 sports clubs it’s 

pretty epic.” 

Unlike Tyas, the men’s hockey 

�� 

close election campaign to gain his 

position in the post, but he stressed 

that this did not take anything away 

from his mandate next year. 

“I think that the fact that 807 people 

put a ‘1’ next to my name on the 

voting ballot tells you just how important 

sport is at this University. 

“It would be very easy for those 

people not to have voted, so I don’t 

think it takes anything away from it 

at all. I hope people voted for me for 

the right reasons.” 

And as he looks forward to the 

hand over period in June and Tyas 

moves on, Wright seems determined 

to continue the University’s 

sporting success story going. 

�� 


The cheerleading club beat off tough 

competition from the ski and boat 

clubs to scoop the prestigious club 

of the year award at the AU Ball 

on Sunday after an outstanding 

2009/10 season. 

The club have been crowned national 

champions across both the 

dance and stunt disciplines, as well 

as taking part in numerous charity 

�� 

events in the community. 

�� 

praise on the club at Sunday’s award 

ceremony, held at the Marriott Hotel 

in Gosforth. 

“It might not have been the result 

people expected,” she said, “but it’s 

about being a well managed club 

as well as being successful, and the 

cheerleaders have been fantastic.” 

�� 

�� 

fourth in the BUCS Premiership. 

The club have excelled this season 

�� 

run with a memorable Stan Calvert 

Cup win over Super League neighbours 

Northumbria. 

Tyas said the netballers very “well 

deserving winners”. 

Elsewhere, ice hockey were 

awarded most improved club, rowing 

coach Angelo Savarino took the 

coach of the year award, and hockey 

A. WILSON 

club president and soon to be AU 

�� trator 

of the year. 

Professor Stuart Evans was awarded 

the outstanding contribution to 

sport award, for his role as a passionate 

supporter of the rugby club. 

Evans has been involved with 

rugby at the University since 1970, 

helping to raise over £120,000, as 

well as publishing a book on the 

University rugby club. 

�� 

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Men’s Cricket 

Leeds 2nds 

Newcastle 1sts 

Newcastle win by 29 runs 

Alex Roussak 

200 

229-6 

�� 

with a hard fought win over Shef- 

�� 

Newcastle 1sts compiled a secondsuccessive 

victory last Wednesday, 

beating Leeds 2nds by 29 runs to go 

to the top of BUCS 2B. 

�� 

the Newcastle top order struggled 

to time the ball early on and soon 

found themselves one wicket down 

with Nicholas Davey caught behind 

with the score on 35. 

With the short boundaries proving 

tempting, Joe Austin - who 

registered 120 against Hallam on 

the opening day of the season - and 

Gareth Purshouse took the attack to 

Leeds’ medium pacers in an entertaining, 

yet temporary, counter attack. 

Top order wickets fell with regularity 

with only Purshouse and Alex 

Roussak scoring above 20. 

With the score on 130 for 6, the visitors 

were looking at the possibility 

of posting a poor score on a wicket 

that looked to be improving as the 

day progressed. 

However, a gutsy partnership between 

Joe Barnett and Ali Barrowman 

for the 7th wicket proved to be 

vital as both players took the attack 

to the Leeds spin bowlers. 

Barrowman’s consistent run making 

in the lower order has got Newcastle 

out of sticky situations in previous 

seasons and the Somerset born 

all-rounder was at it again, clearing 

the leg-side boundary on three occasions. 

Nonetheless, Barrowman played 

�� 

and well-constructed innings which 

proved to be the foundation of what 

was to be a very competitive total of 

229 for 6 from 50 overs, Barnett and 

�� 

on 64 and 40 respectively. 

The extra pace of the Newcastle 

seam bowlers seemed to aid the 

stroke play of Leeds’ opening batsmen 

as they put on a century partnership 

within 22 overs. 

Seemingly on the way to a comfortable 

victory, Leeds’ run-chase 

was halted by the experience of the 

Newcastle spin bowlers. 

It was the introduction of Alex 

Roussak that turned the game, with 

his full repertoire of leg-spinners, 

googlies and sliders proving too 

much for the Leeds top three to cope 

with. 

Roussak’s three wickets coupled 

with Tom Ullyott’s economic offspin 

meant the required run-rate 

began to rise. 

�� 

�� 

of wickets fell in the last ten overs 

with the home side eventually being 

bowled out for 200 in the 47th over. 

Newcastle’s captain Tom Ullyott 

��chard 

Stanyon two. 

�� 

season for Newcastle who, with a 

strong squad, will be hoping for 

promotion this season.

54 Tuesday May 4 2010 THE COURIER 

Sport 

Intra Mural Division One (Sat) 

Medics 

University 2nds 

Intra Mural Football 

Medics held as 

Saturday league 

goes to the wire 

3 

3 

Joe Baker 

at Longbenton 3G 

A crucial top of the table clash ended 

with both teams taking a share of 

�� tive 

and compelling game on a mild 

Thursday evening. 

The Medics were clearly pumped 

as they knew a win would ensure 

they regained the prestigious title 

and have the bragging rights for the 

next 12 months. 

�� 

�� 

seemed to take the Royals by surprise 

and a careful through ball dissected 

the Newcastle defence and 

�� 

leg only for the striker to topple to 

the ground and was awarded a penalty. 

Goalkeeper Macauley guessed 

�� 

his body towards the ball but only 

�� 

rippled the back of the net. It was a 

dream start for the Medics and although 

this may have been a strain 

to the Newcastle side, there was certainly 

nothing broken. 

The Royals delivered the next 

blow, as the quick feet of James 

�� 

back who had to resort to clipping 

his legs away and a free kick was 

given. 

Elliot Connolly stepped up to the 

plate. He effortlessly strode up to 

the ball, gliding his free kick around 

the wall to the goalkeeper’s dismay. 

This stroke of genius was what was 

needed to boost the Royal’s spirits. 

Salt was then rubbed into the medics 

seeping wounds as Mike Peace, 

aka ‘The Horse’, galloped past the 

Medic left back, cut back inside and 

struck the ball across the face of the 

box and former Medic, Joel English, 

burst in from the left and slotted the 

ball into the back of the net. 

The Medics then countered to level 

the game as a long ball over the left 

back Mark Levine’s head was chased 

by the sprightly Medic right winger 

and the aging defender struggled to 

keep up. 

�� 

the onrushing Macauley tried to put 

him off, but a delicate chip over his 

body had enough pace on it to reach 

the back of the net. 

Moments later the Medics struck a 

hammer blow as the Royals didn’t 

effectively deal with a corner and 

the centre back nodded home from 

a mere four yards. 

The game looked dead and buried 

but a change in tactics, by placing 

Arthur Okonkwo upfront to form a 

trio, payed dividends as in the dying 

seconds of the game he poked 

home the equaliser. 

Understandably, his celebration 

was jubilant as the former Medic 

– who was Intra Mural top scorer 

last season – ripped off his shirt and 

��er, 

his celebrations were short lived 

as he was threatened with a yellow 

card followed by looks of dismay 

from his fellow team-mates. 

A draw was a fair result and prevented 

the Medics from taking the 

Intra Mural crown for the second 

successive year. The race will now 

go down to the wire as the Medics 

face the University thirds in the title 

deciding game. 

�� 

Intra Mural Cup Final (Wed) 

Henderson Hall A 

Hurricanes 

Tom James Sports Editor 

at Cochrane Park 

Intra Mural Division One (Sat) 

University 3rds 

Barca-Law-Na 

Matt Thorpe 

at Longbenton 

1 

3 

Hurricanes produced a commanding 

performance to win the Wednes- 

�� chrane 

Park last Wednesday thanks 

to a goal from Aaron Ritchie and a 

brace from captain Chris Homans. 

On a day when clear cut chances 

were hard to come by it was the Hurricanes 

who took theirs to take a two 

nil lead by the hour, before Homans 

�� 

stunning strike from thirty yards. 

Henderson did get on the score 

sheet late on, courtesy of a Scott 

header, but by then it was too late to 

entertain any hopes of a comeback 

and the Tangerines will be left to 

�� 

plenty of possession but could not 

break down a resilient Hurricanes 

defence, with Selby immaculate 

throughout. 

�� 

started cagily, with both teams content 

to sit back rather than commit 

men forward. The teams cancelled 

�� 

�� 

‘keeper was forced to make came as 

Michael Scott’s cross threatened to 

go in before Matt Gosnell tipped the 

ball over the bar. 

The Hurricanes looked most dangerous 

at set pieces and almost 

opened the scoring as a cross from 

the left was allowed to bounce free 

in the box. A header goalwards 

was smartly saved by Greenhalgh. 

�� 

�� 

Paul Scholes would be proud from 

Scott, a ball in from the right was 

well cleared by the Hurricanes defence. 

Henderson then crafted their best 

opportunity of the half as Tom Reid 

held up the ball before releasing the 

aptly named Chris Henderson down 

the left with a well judged pass 

which caught the Hurricanes defence 

square. With only the ‘keeper 

to beat, Henderson dragged his shot 

agonisingly wide of the far post. 

The diminutive Chris McCrory 

then went close at the other end as 

he sent a header wide after pulling 

away from his marker, before 

two minutes later his strike partner 

�� 

side into the lead. 

�� 

5 

3 

The University third team stayed on 

track for an Intra Mural league and 

cup double with a stop-start display 

over Barca-Law-Na. 

The game started brightly for Barca 

after a hopeful long ball caused 

havoc between Rob McKenzie and 

Ed Houlton, whose startling lack of 

communication allowed the Barca 

striker to saunter in and delicately 

�� 

The Thirds needed an immediate 

Storming performance: Selby was inspirational at the heart of Hurricanes defence as Henderson struggled to create chances on a 

Hurricanes had looked a threat in 

the air and a corner to the back post 

saw Ritchie climb high above the 

Henderson defence to head home. 

Despite going behind Henderson 

offered little to suggest that they 

would level before half time as they 

struggled to create chances in the last 

third of the pitch, with a speculative 

shot from Henderson not coming 

close to troubling the largely under 

worked Hurricanes ‘keeper. 

Instead it was Hurricanes who 

response, which came in the form 

of Ed Savitt – making a return from 

First team glory. 

Some excellent build up play allowed 

Matt Gouland the opportunity 

to strike, which he promptly 

�� 

proved to be a perfect through-ball 

for Savitt who stroked home a clini- 

�� 

Savitt placed the Thirds into the 

lead soon after with the help of a 

sumptuous ball from Mitch King, 

who later admitted he had misplaced 

his pass. The Thirds striker 

made a darting run into the box and 

��tle 

chance to save. 

Barca appeared to be on the rack 

when Newcastle scored their third 

came closest to the second goal in 

exactly the same fashion from which 

�� 

the back post was cleared off the 

line. 

The Hall were then denied an 

equaliser by the post as they managed 

to put pressure on the Hurricanes 

‘keeper, who, failing to clear 

the ball with an attempted punch, 

allowed a header to be directed 

goalwards, only for it to come back 

off the upright. 

�� 

found himself on the edge of the box 

�� 

This was met by a brave block from 

a Barca defender, causing the ball 

to loop over the despairing keeper, 

which sent the University into a 

comfortable 3-1 lead. Matters got 

even worse for Barca as Jay Taylor 

added his name to the score sheet 

before half time. 

Barca had battled courageously 

�� 

failed to meet the standard of their 

competitors. 

This began to change when Houlton 

unceremoniously brought down 

the Barca striker when he had a 

chance to score, resulting in a penalty. 

�� 

in the ascendency and came close 

to scoring on two more occasions. 

Ritchie had another header as he 

found space in the box but it looped 

over the bar before a header from a 

Henderson player forced his own 

‘keeper to palm the ball away and 

save his blushes. 

��ond 

half were noticeable for a distinct 

lack of any threat on either goal 

as Henderson continued to probe to 

Despite the despairing dive of 

keeper Matt Thorpe, Barca managed 

to slot the ball into the goal in such a 

way that it set up the second half for 

an intriguing contest. 

The second half commenced with 

Taylor scoring almost immediately. 

Savitt’s through-ball set up the 

striker, who volleyed straight into 

the ground, making the ball bounce 

up into the top corner. 

It seemed like curtains for Barca, 

yet once again Houlton was keen on 

throwing the game away. 

A cute pull back put a Barca player 

in the clear only eight yards from 

goal, triggering a scene akin to the 

�� 

Houlton threw himself in front of 

the ball, not only handling it, but


�� 

day when Hurricanes took theirs 

�� 

half fell to Hendo target man Reid 

whose header went over, whilst 

as Hall started to press higher up 

the pitch, they looked vulnerable 

against a Hurricanes counter attack. 

It was Hurricanes who consolidated 

their lead on the hour mark 

as an Alex Smith free kick from the 

centre circle found captain Homans 

on the edge of the six yard box and 

he made no mistake to head his side 

into a two goal lead. 

�� 

also injuring his knee in the process. 

Another penalty was dispatched 

�� 

make the score 5-3. 

Despite the introduction of veterans 

Tom ‘Mario’ Milnes, Ben Burt 

and new boy Jonny Addey, the 

game petered out to a disappointing 

�� 

Burt had the opportunity to score 

a wonder goal, following his mazy 

dribble through the Barca team. Unfortunately 

the pressure got to him 

and he skewed his shot high, wide 

and not at all handsome. 

But with three points in the bag, 

the Royals did enough and will be 

pleased that the chance to win the 

league is still in their grasp. 

�� 

Now needing to score, next Henderson 

came forward but could not 

break the Hurricanes defence, and it 

was Homans who made all but sure 

that his side would win the trophy 

�� 

A failed clearance from Henderson 

saw the ball land at Homans’ 

feet and from thirty yards he struck 

a shot which looked in from the moment 

it left his boot and gave Greenhalgh 

no chance as the ball nestled 

in the far corner. 

Three nil up and with ten minutes 

to play the Hurricanes had the trophy 

in their grasp, and despite a 

late consolation for Henderson as 

a result of a Scott header, they held 

on comfortably, allowing Homans 

�� 

by lifting the trophy. Presenting the 

trophy Intra Mural’s answer to Jose 

Mourinho, Denis Murphy, praised 

Dominic Pollard 

With the season drawing to a close 

the Happy Feet Football and Hock- 

�� 

season’. The rainbow kit wearing 

team may not have had much success 

on the pitch but you will not 

�� 

as many good times off it as Happy 

Feet. 

In their penultimate game of the 

season the Happy Feet football team 

�� 

historic 2-1 win over the Tub Boys. 

Although they remain at the foot 

of the division four table the squad 

could not be happier with the success 

of their organisation. 

The Happy Feet hockey team, 

J. WHITLAM 

both sides for “a great game, well 

done to Hurricanes who defended 

well and took their chances.” 

Victorious captain Chris Homans 

was jubilant after the game saying 

“The boys were class today. For 

periods Hendo had a lot of the ball 

but the lads worked really hard to 

make sure they didn’t have many 

chances. 

“It’s hard to single out any guys in 

particular because they all deserve 

a mention. But credit where its due, 

Selby saved his performance of the 

��fering 

from sun burn for it and Harry 

Slavin was obviously inspired by 

watching Braveheart because he ran 

till he dropped. 

“Commiserations to Hendo, they 

made it a good game. Football’s all 

about inches and we came good on 

the day.” 

however, have enjoyed a more successful 

year on the pitch. 

�� 

the Intra Mural tournament only to 

fall short in a controversial match 

that they likened to Ireland’s loss at 

the hand of Thierry Henry. 

Their other high points from the 

season include almost toppling top 

�� 

upset, only to be defeated by a last 

minute goal. 

They may be rooted to the bottom 

of the bottom division but the 

team do not get bogged down by 

such pedantry as ‘points’ or ‘league 

tables’. Guy Tyrone Robert’s stated 

that the team “were proud to be the 

foundations of Intra Mural football. 

“I personally believe we have 

Paul Christian Sports Editor 

Intra Mural’s not over yet. But this 

being the last paper, and me being 

its biggest fan (and best player), I 

felt compelled to bid it adieu. Eight 

months of recreational football has 

taken its toll. 

By now you’ll have a dodgy knee, 

3G burns, Jimmy Grimble boots and 

an animal attraction for the Longbenton 

groundsman. Still, no one 

�� 

the season any worse a player than 

when they started. 

�� 

over bar the shouting and Garnett 

look set to lift the trophy for a second 

successive year. The Green and 

Black, who have lost one league 

game all season and proved, yet 

again, they’re the team to beat. How 

they’ll cope with the loss of key 

players is another matter. 

A great season for Real Politique 

was humbled when their title challenge 

was cut short by Dyslexic. But 

with the general election around the 

corner, they’re probably not bothered. 

They’ll be back next year full 

of empty promises and with three 

managers. 

Loko’s season was galvanised by 

McLovin, or Ste McLaughlin (nickname’s 

are hurtful) who bagged 

a bundle, outran Bolt, and got his 

name in the paper far too much. 

Dyslexic were poor by their usual 

high standards, while Leazes were 

solid, if unexceptional. 

Barca-Law-Na warranted more 

from their performances but we live 

in a results-based, late-capitalist society 

and they didn’t dig in. A force 

in the past, the Lawmen have it all 

to do next year if they get relegated. 

The Hurricanes are down, but won 

the cup Portsmouth stylee. Work 

that one out. 

In Division Two, Gashletico look 

�� 

�� 

remaining games. Borussia Forsythe 

and Ecosoccer are still in with 

a chance for promotion, the latter 

looking for their third in a row. 

Down at the bottom it’s back to 

the drawing board for Crayola who 

look set for the third tier, while the 

most embarrassing stat of the season 

isn’t the relegated Sex Panthers’ 

-44 goal difference. It’s the fact they 

won a game. Whoever they beat, 

don’t come back next year. 

�� 

epitomises the nature of Intra Mural 

football. AFC Hydro are a result or 

two shy of the title, while Inter City 

are relegated. The rest of the table 

Intra Mural Football 

Sport 

�� 

�� 

had a successful season...we have 

achieved everything we ever wanted.” 

The team may not have been successful 

in the sporting arena but the 

Happy Feet organisation measure 

their success in other ways. 

The team completed a winter tour 

to Germany and are already planning 

their summer volleyball tour 

to Faliraki. The Happy Feet clothing 

line, meanwhile, has, in the words 

of Jack-Jack Leroy-Wilson, been 

“selling like hotcakes!” 

Clearly, to say that Happy Feet 

don’t take themselves too seriously 

would be somewhat of an understatement. 

The team simply prioritises their 

comical team ethos over results 

�� 

promotion and, simultaneously, 

against relegation. 

There’ll be plenty of ifs and buts, so 

the simple solution is just win your 

games. Olympic Mayonnaise will be 

champions if this is the case. 

At the foot of Intra Mural lie Happy 

Feet whose highlight of the season 

was a feature in this paper. They’re 

a spirited side who enjoy a laugh to 

�� 

Fair play to them. 

Roman Villa join them in oblivion, 

while Molesok, Freeman and Tub 

�� tion. 

AR U Shavin A Laugh were 

runaway winners and will complain 

about the misspelling of their name 

in Division Three next year. 

The Saturday leagues have grown 

in strength in recent times and deserve 

a mention. The Medics are on 

course for a second successive title, 

with the University thirds standing 

in their way. Both are set for a title 

decider this Thursday evening. It’s 

shaping up to be the game of the 

season. 

If the Medics win, Captain James 

Esdon will be ranked amongst the 

most decorated in Intra Mural history. 

He already has three leagues and 

a Saturday cup in his cabinet, and 

could add two more this season. 

With an eye for a player and astute 

man management, Esdon’s the best 

around. Intra Mural sides from Bolton 

to Bristol have monitored Guildford’s 

answer to Beckenbauer. But 

he’s going nowhere. At least until 

he wins the Wednesday cup. 

At the bottom Dyslexic United 

could join Axe Wielding Baboons in 

the second tier. It’s hard to believe 

they used to dominate. Teams are 

always rising and falling in Intra 

Mural. 

The Medic seconds will join their 

counterparts in the First Division, 

while Politique are on the verge of 

clinching Division Three. 

Denis Murphy’s been at the helm 

of Intra Mural for four years now. 

He’s built a mini-empire and genuinely 

loves the job. He couldn’t do 

it without the help of captains, refs, 

�� 

to admit that. But it’s his dedication 

that makes it tick. Doff your cap to 

Murphy’s law. 

Another season passes but another’s 

on the way. Characters move 

on, others will blossom. Intra Mural 

�� 

and will continue to do so long after 

jokers like you and I are gone. With 

that, I’m off to play a match. It never 

stops. 

�� 

which has meant that even though 

they may have only chalked up one 

win this season they have still enjoyed 

every moment of it. 

It seems that the team’s positivity 

and refreshingly unique attitude towards 

Intra Mural sports has proved 

infectious. 

Not only will the Happy Feet legacy 

live on under new management 

next year but a new team, Beavers 

Beavers, has already been entered 

into next year’s division four and 

promise to embrace the Happy Feet 

mentality. 

Their blend of African grass-roots 

inspired football and less than serious 

approach to any match has been 

a joy to behold, and their legacy will 

live on.


Sports Editors: Paul Paul Christian, Jamie Jamie Gavin and Gavin Tom and James Tom - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk 

James - courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk 

Wright sets 

sights high 

ahead of his 

new AU role 

Hockey president ready to lead Team Newcastle 


Charley Wright has signalled out 

his intent for Team Newcastle success 

ahead of taking over as AU Of- 

�� 

�� 

March election, Wright spelt out his 

�� 

well as a fourth straight Stan Calvert 

�� 

And with cuts to higher education 

funding imminent, the current 

men’s hockey president stressed the 

need for the University to maintain 

its investment in sport, as well as 

the need for sport at the University 

�� 

Wright will take over from current 

�� 

and he is excited at the prospect of 

another successful season for the 

�� 

“I’m really excited, I just can’t wait 

�� 

two years now so I really want to get 

�� 

“It all depends on the personnel 

�� 

�� 

“If we could get a similar result to 

what we did last year in Stan Cal- 

�� 

we’ve got a very good chance of 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

the prospect of cuts to higher education, 

and he expressed hope that 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

“It’s a massive recruitment tool for 

the University, and if we can’t compete 

at the top level, we’re not going 

to get as many good sports people 

– who are often very clever people 

�� 

�� 

�� 

I have to deal with it if and when it 

happens - we’ll have to wait and 

�� 

�� 

emphasised the importance of the 

student led element of sport at the 

University ahead of taking over in 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

should run their University, for stu- 

�� 

“I would hate to see it go to the 

hierarchy of the University itself 

�� 

�� 

�� 

we have and push everyone as a 

�� 

�� 

potential to follow the example of 

�� 

�� 

�� 

“The presidents and captains are a 

key element of University sport, as 

�� 

“I want to make sure they feel they 

can come to me and we can sort out 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

�� 

A hop, skip and a 

jump with 

Jonathan Edwards 

> Page 49 

J. WHITLAM 

��

Puzzles 

Your special four-page pull-out of the trickiest puzzles to help you through your revision Puzzles Editors: Ned Walker & Suzi Moore puzzles.courier@ncl.ac.uk 

ACROSS 

THE 

COURIER 

crossword 

1. Comic book hero played by 

Christopher Reeve. (8) 

6. Music genre sung by Taylor 

Swift. (7) 

9. When playing cricket, time to 

change ends. (4) 

11. ------- Avenue, borough of Manhattan 

famous for shopping (7) 

12. Team in charge of a plane. (7) 

13. Large round chocolate biscuit 

�� 

16. Ugly old woman usually found 

is a fairytale (3) 

17. Type of vehicle that is famous 

for having a particularly aggressive 

driver “white --- man” (3) 

18. In this place. (4) 

20. A gift left in a will. (6) 

21. The self (of an individual). (3) 

22. Everything is alright. (2) 

23. In the old testament, Adam was 

�� 

�� 

�� 

28. Code for Frankfurt airport; 

monk (3) 

30. Willie Walsh is chief executive 

�� 

32. Health guide linking height and 

wordsearch 

��The Courier�� 

Crossword wins a free beer and burger at The Hancock 

weight. (3) 

33. Breakfast food of cereal, fruit 

and nuts. (6) 

34. Hugo ----; designer (4) 

36. --- De Janeiro (3) 

37. Winner’s trophy. (3) 

38. Green skinned grape used to 

make white wine. (10) 

�� 

set in Barnsley. (7) 

42. Painstaking; thorough (7) 

�� 

�� 

46. Fate of Tess in Hardy’s tale 

about the D’urbervilles. (8) 

DOWN 

2. Not noticing. (7) 

3. Separate part of a TV series. (7) 

�� 

to do this...closely followed my 

Michael Jackson (8) 

�� 

6. Symbol of fourth sign of the 

Zodiac. (4) 

7. “Sugar and Spice and All Things 

----“ (4) 

8. Contagious mouth movement 

that occurs when you are tired (7) 

Find the different countries of the world in this grid. They can be 

positioned in all direction and overlap other words 

Argentina Australia China England 

France Iceland India Iran 

Kenya Russia Spain Thailand 

weird words 

Match the word to its 

�� 

A) Dactylion B) Gambrinous C) Qualtagh 

1. Being full of beer. 

�� 

�� 

10. Acidic condiment 

(7) 

14. List of items for a meeting. (6) 

�� 

�� 

(7) 

16. Song of praise. (4) 

18. Top part of a cooker. (3) 

19. Dorothy, played by Judy Garland, 

dreams of being over this. (7) 

22. Chain of shoe shops; place of 

work. (6) 

�� 

�� 

Carey. (3) 

29. A person with ginger hair (7) 

30. Nightclub in Leeds and Manchester; 

place to keep a feathered 

pet. (8) 

31. End the school term; disband. 

�� 

34. Narrow strip of fabric worn 

around the breasts. (7) 

�� 

(7) 

39. Rope supporting a mast; to not 

leave. (4) 

40. Mont Blanc is the highest mountain 

in this range. (4) 

44. That is to say (abbrev Latin) (2) 

�� 

word link 

�� 

word and the beginning of the second word to make two 

new words or phrases 

MOUSE 

BLUE 

COMPACT 

BACK 

COUNT 

word steps 1 

Clues 

�� 

�� 

�� 

DOOR 

BANK 

JOCKEY 

FLOP 

SIZE 

Work your way down the steps from COVE to LAMB 

�� 

As you take each step change one letter of the previous 

word keeping the rest of the letters in the same order. 

COVE 

LAMB 

The clues below will help but they may not correspond 

to the order of the steps. 

picture phrase puzzle 

From left to right, use the pictures to come up with a phrase, 

�� 

& 

04.05.10


Puzzles 

ned’s number cruncher 

Keep you brain in shape by trying to complete these sums 

as fast as you can without using a calculator 

EASY 

69 

Double 

it -38 ÷5 -4 x4 

1/2 of 

this ÷8 = 

MEDIUM 

69 

HARD 

-5 

Square 

root x17 

75% of 

this 

x4 -8 

Square 

root = 

69 x8 -2 

12% of Cube 

÷11 this this 

+9 

Square 

root = 

odd one out 

Compare the Meerkats to spot the odd one out 

maze 

Enter the maze through the gap at the top left and trace 

your way through the maze to exit just below 

logistical 

Holly, a Lecturer in the Business School has received enquiries asking for module marks 

from some of her students who are stranded abroad due to the volcanic eruption in Iceland. 

However, in the confusion she has mixed up which student is which. 

From the clues given below, can you match each of the students with their module, mark 

and the country they are stuck in? 

CLUES 

1. The Economic Analysis student 

John received at least a 2:1, though 

scored lower than Jess, who is the 

student stranded in Spain. 

2. The lowest scoring student is 

stuck in Turkey, a country that 

Paula has never been to. 

3. The student taking the Maths 

for Economics module scored 

higher than the one studying 

Public Policy. 

4. British Economics with a mark 

of 53 was not taken by the student 

trying to work their way back 

from Dubai. 

5. Sophie will be happy to learn 

she got a 60, as it keeps her on a 

2:1 average. 

6. The student who can’t get back 

from the USA may wish they’d 

studied American Economics as 

opposed to European. 

wordtrail 

Track the words through the grid. You should 

use all of the letters in the grid but only once. 

The top grid is school subjects, the bottom grid 

is months of the year 

word steps 2 

Record in this grid all the information 

obtained from the clues, by using a 

�� 

�� 

these to all sections of the grid thus 

eliminating all but one possibility, 

which must be the correct one 

Work your way down the steps from LATE to FIND 

�� 

As you take each step change one letter of the previous 

word keeping the rest of the letters in the same order. 

LATE 

Clues 

�� 

�� 

�� 

FIND 

The clues below will help but they may not correspond 

to the order of the steps. 

conundrums 

Rearrange each set of letters below to make sense of the jumble. 

1. 

2. 

3.


Puzzles 

sudoku - easy sudoku - medium 

sudoku - hard 

�� 

cryptogram 

�� 

�� 

�� 

A _ A _ _ _ _ A _ A _ K _ _ _ _ T _ _ 

7 20 7 26 26 10 2 7 22 7 6 15 2 2 26 3 5 9 2 

_ _ _ T _ _ A _ A _ . 

22 19 24 5 19 14 7 21 7 6 

country outlines 

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tile mixer 

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1. 

2. 

3. 

sudoku - super fiendish 

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Puzzles 

same letter quiz 

Here is a quiz with a twist. Each answer will start with the last letter of the previous answer. This may 

help you with answers you are unsure of. Answer number 1 will start with the last letter of answer 10. 

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2. Lacey Turner is quitting which soap? 

3. What is the UK’s third biggest airport? 

4. In what did Daley Thompson win two Olympic golds? 

5. Which European country uses the Krone as their currency? 

6. Which search engine has recently acquired the rights to Premier League 

highlights? 

7. What is the Japanese art of paper folding? 

8. Which country declared independence from the Netherlands in August 1945? 

9. What was a US tv series starring Jennifer Garner? 

10. Which Wizard of Oz character is in search of a brain? 

codeword 

Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the key. Some letters are 

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Like to get involved or think you’re smarter than Countdown Ned? Apply to be 

Puzzles editor 2010/11 by emailing Fran Infante at courier.deputy@ncl.ac.uk or 

pop into The Courier�� 

Ned and Suzi at puzzles.courier@ncl.ac.uk 

Safeguard.answers 

Picture Phrase Puzzle: Teletubbies, Fireman Sam, Captain Planet, Gummi Bears, Sharky & George, Penny 

Crayon. Common Theme - Kids Television Programmes. 

Ned’s Number Cruncher: Easy - 4, Medium - 15, Hard - 20. 

Wordtrail Months: April, September, December, May, January, June, February, March. 

Wordtrail Subjects: Geography, Science, English, French, Psychology, Maths, Latin. 

Logistical: Sophie Mince, European Economics, 60, USA. John Wilson, Economic Analysis, 66, Dubai. Paula 

CLark, British Economics, 53, Greece. Harry Saunders, Public Policy, 47, Turkey. Jess Matthews, Maths for 

Economics, 78, Spain. 

Word Steps 1: Cove, Cave, Came, Lame, Lamb. 

Word Steps 2: Late, Lane, Line, Fine, Find. 

Word Link: Trap, Bottle, Disc, Flip, Down. 

Weirdword: A - 3, B - 1, C - 2. 

Odd one out: Second row, second from left has no toes on right foot. 

Cryptogram: A doctor a day keeps the doctor away. 

Tile Mixer: 1 - Robinson Library, Students’ Union, Armstrong Building. 

Country Outline: Mexico, Italy, Greece, India, Brazil, Poland, Somalia, Japan. 

Same Letter Quiz: Walpole, Eastenders, Stansted, Decathlon, Norway, Yahoo, Origami, Indonesia, Alias, 

Scarecrow. 

Conundrums: 1 - Gymnasium, 2 - Ignorance, 3 - 

A 

B 

C 

D 

E 

F 

G 

H 

I 

J 

K 

L 

M 

N 

O 

P 

Q 

R 

S 

T 

U 

V 

W 

X 

Y 

Z

4th May (Issue 1211) - The Courier

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