Prelude - Katherine Mansfield Society

PRELUDE (1917) 

By Katherine Mansfield 

I 

THERE was was not not an inch inch of of room for for Lottie Lottie and and Kezia in in the the buggy. buggy. When When Pat Pat swung 

swung 

them on top top of of the luggage luggage they wobbled; wobbled; the grandmother's grandmother's lap lap was full and Linda 

Burnell could not not possibly possibly have have held held a a lump lump of a child on hers for any distan distance. Isabel, 

very superior, was perched beside the new handy handy-man man on the driver's seat. Hold Hold-alls, 

bags and and boxes boxes were piled upon the floor. "These are absolute necessities that I I will will not 

not 

let out of my sight for one instant," said Linda Burnell, her voice trembling with fatigue 

and excitement. 

Lottie and Kezia stood on the patch of lawn just inside the gate gate all ready ready for for the the fray fray in 

their coats with brass anchor buttons and little round round caps caps with battleship ribbons. Hand 

Hand 

in hand, they stared with round solemn eyes, first at the absolute necessities and then at 

their mother. 

"We shall simply have to leave them. them. That That is is all. We We shall simply have to cast cast them them off," 

off," 

said Linda Burnell. Burnell. A A strange strange little laugh flew flew from her her lips; lips; she leaned leaned back back against the 

the 

buttoned ned leather cushions and shut shut her eyes, her lips trembling with with laughter. Happily Happily at 

at 

that moment Mrs. Samuel Josephs, Josephs, who who had been been watching the scene scene from from behind behind her 

drawing-room room blind, waddled down the garden path. 

"Why nod leave the chudren with be for the afterdoon, Brs. Burnell? They could go on 

the dray with with the the storeban storeban when when he he comes in in the the eveding. eveding. Those thigs on the path have have to 

to 

go, dod't they?" 

"Yes, everything outside the the house house is is supposed to to go," go," said Linda Burnell, and and she she waved 

waved 

a white hand at t the tables and chairs standing on their heads on the the front lawn. lawn. How 

How 

absurd they they looked! Either they ought to be the other other way up, up, or or Lottie and Kezia ought 

ought 

to stand on on their heads, too. And she longed to to say: say: "Stand on your heads, heads, children, and 

and 

wait for the store-man." man." It seemed to her that that would be be so so exquisitely funny funny that that she 

could not attend to Mrs. Samuel Josephs. 

The fat fat creaking body leaned across the gate, and the the big big jelly jelly of of a a face face smiled. "Dod't 

"Dod't 

you worry, Brs. Burnell. Loddie and Kezia can hhave 

ave tea with my chudren in the dursery, 

and I'll see theb on the dray afterwards." 

The grandmother grandmother considered. "Yes, "Yes, it it really really is is quite the the best best plan. plan. We are are very very obliged obliged to 

to 

you, Mrs. Mrs. Samuel Samuel Josephs. Children, say 'thank you' you' to to Mrs. Mrs. Samuel Josephs." 

http://www.katherinemansfieldsociety.org 

1

Two subdued chirrups: "Thank you, Mrs. Samuel Josephs." 

"And be good little girls, and–come and closer–" " they advanced, "don't forget to tell Mrs. 

Samuel Josephs when you want to. . . . " 

"No, granma." 

"Dod't worry, Brs. Burnell." 

At the last moment Kezia let go Lottie's hand and darted towards the buggy. 

"I want to kiss my granma good good-bye again." 

But she she was was too late. The buggy buggy rolled rolled off up the the road, Isabel bursting with with pride, pride, her 

her 

nose turned turned up up at at all all the the world, world, Linda Linda Burnell Burnell prostrated, prostrated, and and the grandmother 

grandmot 

rummaging among among the the very very curious oddments oddments she she had had had put put in her black silk reticule at 

at 

the last last moment, for something to give her her daughter. The buggy twinkled away in in the 

the 

sunlight and fine fine golden golden dust dust up the the hill hill and over. over. Kezia Kezia bit bit her her lip, lip, but Lottie, Lotti carefully 

finding her handkerchief first, set up a wail. 

"Mother! Granma!" 

Mrs. Samuel Samuel Josephs, Josephs, like like a a huge warm warm black black silk tea tea cosy, cosy, enveloped enveloped her. 

"It's all right, by dear. Be a brave brave child. You come and and blay in the dursery!" 

She put her arm round weeping Lottie Lottie and led her away. Kezia followed, making a a face face at 

at 

Mrs. Samuel Samuel Josephs' Josephs' placket, placket, which was undone undone as as usual, with with two two long long pink corset 

laces hanging out of it. . . . 

Lottie's weeping weeping died down as she mounted the the stairs, but the sight of her at the nursery 

door with with swollen swollen eyes and a blob of a a nose nose gave gave great satisfaction to to the the S.J.'s, S.J.'s, who who sat 

on two two benches benches before a long long table covered with American cloth and and set set out with 

immense plates of bread and dripping and two brown jugs that faintly steamed. 

"Hullo! You've been crying!" 

"Ooh! Your eyes have gone right in." 

"Doesn't her nose look funny." 

"You're all red-and-patchy." patchy." 

Lottie was quite a success. She felt it and swelled, smiling timidly. 

"Go and sit by Zaidee, ducky," said Mrs. Samuel Josephs, "and Kezia, you sid ad the end 

by Boses." 


2

Moses grinned grinned and and gave gave her a nip as she sat down; but but she she pretended not not to notice. She 

did hate boys. 

"Which will you you have?" asked Stanley, leaning across across the table very politely, and smiling 

smiling 

at her. "Which will you have to begin with with–strawberries strawberries and cream or bread and 

dripping?" 

"Strawberries and cream, please," said she. 

"Ah-h-h-h." h." How they they all all laughed laughed and and beat beat the table table with with their their teaspoons. teaspoons. Wasn't that a 

take-in! in! Wasn't it now! Didn't he fox he her! Good old Stan! 

"Ma! She thought it was real." 

Even Mrs. Samuel Josephs, Josephs, pouring pouring out out the milk and and water, water, could not help smiling. "You 

bustn't tease theb on their last day," she wheeze wheezed. 

But Kezia bit a big piece out of her bread and dripping, and then stood the piece up on 

her plate. plate. With With the the bite bite out out it it made made a dear little little sort sort of gate. Pooh! She didn't care! care! A A tear 

tear 

rolled down her cheek, but she wasn't crying. She She couldn't couldn't have cried in front of those 

awful Samuel Josephs. She sat with her head bent, and as the tear dripped slowly down, 

she caught caught it it with with a a neat little whisk of her tongue and ate it before any any of them them had seen. 

seen. 

After tea tea Kezia wandered wandered back to to their their own own house. house. Slowly Slowly she walked walked up up the the back back steps, 

steps, 

and through the scullery into the kitchen. Nothing was left in it but a lump of gritty 

yellow soap in one corner of the kitchen window window-sill sill and a piece of flannel stained with a 

blue bag in another. The The fireplace fireplace was was choked choked up with with rubbish. She She poked among it but 

found nothing except a hair-tidy hai tidy with a heart painted on it that had belonged to the 

servant girl. Even Even that she left lying, and she trailed through the the narrow narrow passage into into the 

the 

drawing-room. room. The Venetian blind was was pulled down but not drawn close. Long pencil 

rays of sunlight shone through and the wavy shadow of a bush outside outside danced on on the the gold 

gold 

lines. Now Now it was still, now now it it began began to flutter flutter again, again, and now now it came almost as far far as as her 

her 

feet. Zoom! Zoom! a blue-bottle blue bottle knocked against the ceiling; the carpet-tacks carpet had little 

bits of red ed fluff sticking to them. 

The dining-room room window had had a square of coloured glass at at each each corner. One was was blue 

and one one was yellow. Kezia Kezia bent down to have one more look look at at a a blue blue lawn lawn with with blue 

arum lilies growing at the gate, and then at a yellow lawn wit with h yellow lilies and a yellow 

fence. As she she looked a little Chinese Lottie came out on on to to the lawn and began began to to dust dust the 

the 

tables and chairs with with a a corner corner of her her pinafore. pinafore. Was Was that really Lottie? Kezia Kezia was not 

not 

quite sure until she had looked through the ordin ordinary window. 

Upstairs in her father's and mother's room she found found a a pill pill box box black black and and shiny shiny outside 

outside 

and red in, holding a blob of cotton wool. 

"I could keep a bird's egg in that," she decided. 

II 


3

In the servant girl's room there was a stay-button stay stuck in a crack of the floor, and in 

another crack crack some some beads beads and and a a long long needle. She knew knew there there was nothing in in her 

grandmother's room; she she had watched her pack. She went over over to the window and leaned 

against it, pressing her hands to the pane. 

Kezia liked to stand d so so before the the window. window. She She liked liked the the feeling of the cold shining shining glass 

glass 

against her hot palms, and she she liked to watch the funny white white tops that came on her 

fingers when she pressed them hard against the pane. As As she she stood there, the the day 

day 

flickered out and dark ark came. With the dark dark crept the wind snuffling and howling. The 

The 

windows of the empty house shook, a creaking came from the walls and floors, a piece of 

loose iron on on the roof banged forlornly. Kezia was suddenly suddenly quite, quite still, with with wide 

wide 

open eyes and d knees pressed pressed together. together. She She was was frightened. frightened. She wanted wanted to call call Lottie Lottie and 

and 

to go go on on calling calling all the while she ran ran downstairs downstairs and out out of of the the house. house. But But IT IT was was just 

just 

behind her, her, waiting at the the door, door, at at the head of the stairs, at the bottom of the stairs, hiding hid 

in the passage, ready to dart out at the back door. But Lottie was was at the the back back door, door, too. 

too. 

"Kezia!" she called called cheerfully. "The storeman's here. Everything is on the dray and three 

horses, Kezia. Kezia. Mrs. Mrs. Samuel Samuel Josephs Josephs has has given us a big shawl to wear rou round us, and she 

says to button up your coat. She won't come out because of asthma." 

Lottie was very important. 

"Now then, then, you you kids," kids," called the the storeman. storeman. He He hooked hooked his his big big thumbs thumbs under under their their arms 

arms 

and up they swung. Lottie arranged the shawl "most beautifu beautifully" lly" and the storeman tucked 

up their feet in a piece of old blanket. 

"Lift up. Easy does it." 

They might have been been a couple couple of of young young ponies. The The storeman felt felt over over the cords holding 

holding 

his load, load, unhooked unhooked the the brakechain brakechain from from the the wheel, and whistling, whistling, he he swung swu up beside 

them. 

"Keep close to to me," me," said said Lottie, "because otherwise you you pull pull the shawl shawl away away from my 

my 

side, Kezia." 

But Kezia Kezia edged up up to to the the storeman. storeman. He He towered towered beside beside her her big big as as a a giant and and he smelled 

smelled 

of nuts and new wooden boxes. 

III 

It was the first st time time that that Lottie Lottie and Kezia had ever been out so so late. Everything looked 

different–the the painted wooden houses far smaller than they did by by day, the gardens gardens far 

bigger and and wilder. Bright stars speckled the the sky sky and the moon hung hung over the the harbour 

dabbling the e waves with gold. They could see the the lighthouse shining shining on on Quarantine 

Quarantine 

Island, and the green lights on the old coal hulks. 

"There comes comes the Picton boat," boat," said said the the storeman, storeman, pointing to a a little little steamer steamer all hung 

with bright beads. 


4

But when they reached the e top of of the hill and began began to go down the the other other side side the harbour 

disappeared, and and although they were still in the town they they were quite lost. lost. Other Other carts 

rattled past. Everybody knew the storeman. 

"Night, Fred." 

"Night O," he shouted. 

Kezia liked very much uch to hear hear him. him. Whenever Whenever a a cart cart appeared appeared in in the the distance distance she looked 

up and waited waited for his his voice. voice. He was an old old friend; and and she she and and her her grandmother grandmother had had often 

often 

been to his his place place to buy grapes. The storeman lived lived alone alone in in a a cottage cottage that that had had a 

a 

glasshouse against st one one wall built by by himself. All All the glasshouse was was spanned and and arched 

arched 

over with one beautiful vine. He took her brown basket from her, lined it with three large 

leaves, and then he felt felt in his belt for a little horn horn knife, knife, reached up and and snapped off off a a big b 

blue cluster and and laid it on the leaves so so tenderly that that Kezia Kezia held held her her breath breath to to watch. watch. He 

He 

was a very big big man. He wore brown velvet trousers, and and he had had a long brown brown beard. But 

But 

he never never wore wore a a collar, not even on Sunday. Sunday. The back of his neck was was burnt burnt bbright 

b red. 

"Where are we now?" Every Every few minutes one of the the children asked him the question. 

question. 

"Why, this is Hawk Street, or Charlotte Crescent." 

"Of course it is," is," Lottie Lottie pricked pricked up up her ears at the the last name; she always felt that Charlotte 

Crescent belonged ged specially specially to her. Very few people people had streets streets with the same name name as 

as 

theirs. 

"Look, Kezia, there there is is Charlotte Charlotte Crescent. Crescent. Doesn't Doesn't it it look different?" Now Now everything 

familiar was was left left behind. behind. Now Now the the big big dray dray rattled into unknown country, along new new roads 

with high high clay banks on either either side, up steep hills, down down into into bushy bushy valleys, valleys, through through wide 

wide 

shallow rivers. rivers. Further Further and and further. Lottie's head wagged; she she drooped, she slipped slipped half 

half 

into Kezia's lap lap and and lay there. But Kezia Kezia could not open her eyes wide wide enoug 

enough. The wind 

blew and she shivered; but her cheeks and ears burned. 

"Do stars ever blow about?" she asked. 

"Not to notice," said the storeman. 

"We've got a nuncle and a naunt naunt living living near near our new new house," said Kezia. "They have have got 

got 

two children, Pip, the eldest dest is is called, called, and the youngest's name name is is Rags. He's got a ram. 

He has to feed it with a a nenamuel nenamuel teapot teapot and and a a glove glove top over over the spout. He's going going to 

to 

show us. What is the difference between a ram and a sheep?" 

"Well, a ram has horns and runs for you." 

Kezia considered. "I don't want to to see see it it frightfully," she said. "I hate hate rushing animals like 

dogs and parrots. I often dream that animals rush at me me–even camels– –and while they are 

rushing, their heads swell ee-enormous." 


5

The storeman said nothing. Kezia peered up at him, screwing up her eyes. Then she put 

her finger out out and and stroked stroked his his sleeve; sleeve; it it felt felt hairy. "Are "Are we near?" she she asked. 

"Not far off, now," answered the storeman. "Getting tired?" 

"Well, I'm not an atom bit sleepy," said Kezia. "But my eyes keep curling up in such a 

funny sort sort of of way." She She gave a long sigh, and to to stop her her eyes from from curling she she shut shut them. 

. . . . . When When she she opened opened them them again again they they were were clanking clanking through a a drive drive that that cut cut through through the 

the 

garden like a whiplash, looping suddenly an island of green, and behind the island, but 

out of sight sight until until you came upon it, was was the house. It was long long and low built, with a 

a 

pillared veranda and balcony all all the the way round. The soft white bulk of it it lay stretched 

stretched 

upon the green garden like a sleeping beast. And now one and now another of the 

windows leaped leaped into into light. light. Someone was was walking through the the empty empty rooms carrying carrying a 

lamp. From the window downstairs the light of of a a fire fire flickered. A strange strange beautiful 

excitement seemed to stream from the house in quivering quiverin ripples. 

"Where are we?" we?" said Lottie, sitting up. Her reefer cap was all on one one side and and on on her 

cheek there there was the print of of an an anchor anchor button she she had pressed pressed against against while sleeping. 

Tenderly the storeman lifted her, set her cap straight, and pulled down her crumpled 

clothes. She She stood blinking on on the lowest lowest veranda veranda step step watching Kezia Kezia who seemed to 

to 

come flying through the air to her feet. 

"Ooh!" cried Kezia, flinging up her arms. The grandmother came came out of of the the dark hall 

carrying a little lamp. She was smiling. 

"You found your way in the dark?" said she. 

"Perfectly well." 

But Lottie Lottie staggered on the lowest veranda step like like a bird bird fallen out out of the nest. nest. If she 

stood still still for for a a moment moment she fell asleep; if she leaned against against anything anything her eyes eyes closed. 

closed. 

She he could not walk another step. 

"Kezia," said the grandmother, "can I trust you to carry the lamp?" 

"Yes, my granma." 

The old old woman bent bent down down and and gave the the bright breathing thing into her hands and then 

she caught up drunken Lottie. "This way." 

Through a square hall filled filled with with bales and hundreds of of parrots parrots (but (but the the parrots parrots were only 

only 

on the wallpaper) down a narrow passage passage where where the parrots persisted persisted in in flying flying past past Kezia 

Kezia 

with her lamp. 

"Be very very quiet," quiet," warned warned the grandmother, putting down Lottie and and ope 

opening the dining 

room door. "Poor little mother has got such a headache." 


6

Linda Burnell, Burnell, in a long cane chair, with her feet feet on a a hassock and and a plaid over her her knees, 

knees, 

lay before a crackling fire. Burnell and Beryl sat at at the table in the middle of the room 

eating a a dish dish of of fried fried chops chops and and drinking tea out of a brown china teapot. Over Over the the back 

of her mother's chair leaned Isabel. She She had had a a comb comb in in her her fingers fingers and and in a gentle 

absorbed fashion she was was combing combing the the curls curls from from her her mother's forehead. Outside Outside the the pool p 

of lamp and firelight firelight the room stretched dark dark and and bare bare to to the the hollow hollow windows. 

windows. 

"Are those the the children?" children?" But But Linda did did not really care; care; she she did not even open her eyes to 

to 

see. 

"Put down down the lamp, lamp, Kezia," Kezia," said said Aunt Aunt Beryl, Beryl, "or we shall have have the the house house on on fire before 

we are out of packing cases. More tea, Stanley?" 

"Well, you might just give me five five-eighths eighths of a cup," said Burnell, leaning across the 

table. "Have another chop, Beryl. Tip Tip-top top meat, isn't it? Not too lean and not too fat." He 

turned to his wife. ife. "You're sure you you won't change change your mind, Linda darling?" 

"The very very thought of of it it is is enough." enough." She She raised raised one eyebrow eyebrow in the way way she had. had. The 

grandmother brought the children children bread bread and milk and they they sat up to table, table, flushed flushed and 

and 

sleepy behind the wavy steam. eam. 

"I had meat for my supper," said Isabel, still combing gently. 

"I had a whole chop for my supper, the bone and all and and Worcester sauce. Didn't Didn't I 

I 

father?" 

"Oh, don't boast, Isabel," said Aunt Beryl. 

Isabel looked astounded. "I wasn't boasting, was I, Mummy? I never thought of boasting. 

I thought they would like to know. I only meant to tell them." 

"Very well. well. That's That's enough," enough," said said Burnell. Burnell. He pushed back his plate, took took a toothpick out 

of his pocket and began picking his strong white teeth. 

"You might ght see see that Fred has a bite of something in the kitchen before before he goes, goes, will you, 

mother?" 

"Yes, Stanley." The old woman turned to go. 

"Oh, hold hold on half a jiffy. I suppose nobody knows where my my slippers slippers were were put? put? I I suppose 

I shall not be able to get at them for a month or two–what?" 

"Yes," came from Linda. "In the top of the canvas hold-all hold all marked 'urgent necessities.'" 

"Well, you might get them for me, will you, mother?" 

"Yes, Stanley." 


7

Burnell got up, stretched himself, and going over to the fire he turned his back to it and 

lifted up his coat tails. 

"By Jove, this is a pretty pickle. Eh, Beryl?" 

Beryl, sipping sipping tea, tea, her elbows elbows on on the table, table, smiled smiled over over the the cup cup at at him. him. She wore an 

unfamiliar pink pinafore; the sleeves sleeves of of her her blouse were rolled rolled up to her shoulders 

showing her her lovely lovely freckled freckled arms, and she had had let her hair fall down down her her back in a long 

long 

pig-tail. 

"How long do you think it will take to get straight–couple straight of weeks–eh?" eh?" he chaffed. 

"Good heavens, no," said Beryl airily. "The worst is ove over r already. The servant girl and I 

have simply simply slaved all day, and ever since mother came she she has has worked like a horse, too. 

We have never sat down for a moment. We have had a day." 

Stanley scented a rebuke. 

"Well, I suppose you did not expect me to rush aaway 

way from the office and nail carpets–did carpets 

you?" 

"Certainly not," laughed Beryl. She put down her cup cup and ran ran out out of the the dining-room. 

dining 

"What the hell does she expect us to do?" asked asked Stanley. "Sit "Sit down down and and fan fan herself with with a 

a 

palm-leaf leaf fan while I have a gang of professionals to do the job? By Jove, if she can't do 

a hand's turn occasionally without shouting about it in return for . . . " 

And he gloomed gloomed as the chops began to fight the tea tea in in his his sensitive stomach. But Linda 

put up a hand and dragged him down to the side of her long chair. 

"This is a a wretched wretched time time for for you, you, old boy," she said. Her cheeks were very white, but she 

smiled and curled curled her her fingers fingers into into the the big red red hand hand she held. held. Burnell became quiet. 

quiet. 

Suddenly he began to whistle "Pure as a lily, joy joyous and free"–a a good sign. 

"Think you're going to like it?" he asked. 

"I don't want to to tell you, but I think I I ought to, mother," said said Isabel. Isabel. "Kezia "Kezia is is drinking tea 

tea 

out of Aunt Beryl's cup." 

They were taken off to bed by the grandmother. She went fi first rst with a candle; the stairs 

rang to their climbing feet. feet. Isabel Isabel and and Lottie lay in in a room room to themselves, Kezia Kezia curled in 

her grandmother's soft bed. 

"Aren't there going to be any sheets, my granma?" 

"No, not to-night." 

IV 


8

"It's tickly," said Kezia, "but it's like Indians." She dragged her grandmother down to her 

and kissed kissed her under the chin. "Come to to bed soon soon and and be be my Indian brave." 

brave." 

"What a silly silly you are," said said the the old old woman, woman, tucking her in as she loved loved to to be be tucked. 

"Aren't you going to leave me a candle?" can 

"No. Sh–h. Go to sleep." 

"Well, can I have the door left open?" 

She rolled herself herself up into a round but but she did not go to sleep. From all all over the house 

came the sound of steps. The house itself creaked and popped. Loud whispering voices 

voices 

came from downstairs. ownstairs. Once Once she heard heard Aunt Beryl's rush rush of of high laughter, and and once once she 

heard a a loud loud trumpeting from Burnell blowing blowing his his nose. nose. Outside the window hundreds hundreds of 

black cats with yellow eyes sat in the sky watching her her–but but she was not frightened. Lottie 

was saying to Isabel: 

"I'm going to say my prayers in bed to-night." to 

"No, you you can't, can't, Lottie." Lottie." Isabel was very firm. "God only excuses you you saying your prayers 

prayers 

in bed if you've got a temperature." So Lottie yielded: 

And then then they lay down back to back, their their little little behinds just touching, touching, and and fell asleep. 

asleep. 

Standing in in a a pool pool of of moonlight moonlight Beryl Fairfield Fairfield undressed herself. She She was tired, but but she 

pretended to be e more tired than she really was was–letting letting her clothes fall, pushing back with 

a languid gesture her warm, heavy hair. 

"Oh, how tired I am–very very tired." 

Gentle Jesus meek anmile, 

Look pon a little chile. 

Pity me, simple Lizzie, 

Suffer me to come to thee. 

She shut her eyes eyes a a moment, but her lips lips smiled. Her breath breath rose rose and fell fell in in her her breast breast like 

like 

two fanning wings. The The window was was wide wide open; open; it was warm, and and somewhere out there 

in the garden a young man, dark and slender, with with mocking mocking eyes, eyes, tiptoed tiptoed among among the 

the 

bushes, and and gathered the flowers into into a a big big bouquet, bouquet, and and slipped under her window window and 

held it up to her. . She saw herself bending bending forward. forward. He He thrust thrust his his head among the bright 

bright 

waxy flowers, flowers, sly sly and and laughing. "No, no," said Beryl. Beryl. She She turned turned from the window window and 

and 

dropped her nightgown over her head. 

"How frightfully unreasonable Stanley is sometimes," she thought, buttoning. And then 

as she lay down, there came the old thought, the cruel thought thought–ah, ah, if only she had money 

of her own. 


9

A young man, immensely rich, has just arrived from from England. England. He meets meets her quite by 

chance . . . . The new governor is unmarried. . . . There is a ball at Government house . . . 

. Who is that exquisite creature in eau de nil satin? Beryl Fairfield. . . . 

"The thing thing that that pleases me," said Stanley, leaning against against the side of the bed and giving 

himself a good scratch on his shoulders and back before turning in, "is that I've got the 

place dirt cheap, Linda. I was talking about it to little Wally Bell to-day to day and he said he 

simply could not understand why they had accepted my figure. You see land land about here here is 

is 

bound to become more and mo more re valuable . . . in about ten years' time. . . of course we 

shall have to go very slow slow and and cut cut down down expenses expenses as as fine fine as as possible. possible. Not Not asleep–are asleep 

you?" 

"No, dear, I've heard every word," said Linda. 

He sprang into bed, leaned over her and blew out the ccandle. 

andle. "Good night, Mr. Business 

Man," said said she, she, and she she took hold hold of his head head by by the ears and gave him him a a quick quick kiss. Her 

faint far-away away voice seemed to come from a deep well. 

"Good night, night, darling." He slipped his arm under under her her neck neck and and drew drew her her to to him. 

him. 

"Yes, clasp me," said the faint voice from the deep well. 

Pat the handy-man man sprawled in his little room room behind the kitchen. kitchen. His His sponge sponge-bag, coat 

and trousers hung from the door door-peg peg like a hanged man. From the edge of the blanket his 

twisted toes protruded, ed, and on the floor floor beside him him there was an empty empty cane bird-cage. bird 

He looked like a comic picture. 

"Honk, honk," came from the servant girl. She had adenoids. 

Last to go to bed was the grandmother. 

"What. Not asleep yet?" 

"No, I'm waiting for you," sai said d Kezia. The old woman sighed and lay down beside her. 

Kezia thrust her her head head under under her her grandmother's arm and gave gave a little squeak. But the old 

woman only only pressed her faintly, and sighed again, took out her her teeth, teeth, and and put them them in a 

a 

glass of water beside her on the floor. 

In the garden some tiny owls, perched on the branches of a lace-bark lace bark tree, called: "More 

pork; more pork." And far away in the bush there sounded a a harsh harsh rapid chatter: "Ha-ha- "Ha 

ha . . . Ha-ha-ha." 

V 

Dawn came sharp and chill with red clouds on a faint green sky and drops of water on 

every leaf leaf and blade. blade. A breeze blew over the garden, dropping dropping dew and dropping petals, 

petals, 


10

shivered over the drenched paddocks, and was lost in the sombre bush. bush. In the sky some 

tiny stars floated for a moment and the then they were gone–they they were dissolved like 

bubbles. And And plain plain to to be be heard in in the the early quiet was the sound sound of the the creek in the 

paddock running running over the brown stones, running running in and and out out of of the the sandy sandy hollows, hollows, hiding 

hiding 

under clumps of dark berry bushes, spilling into a swamp of yellow water flowers and 

cresses. 

And then then at the the first first beam beam of sun the the birds birds began. began. Big cheeky cheeky birds, birds, starlings starlings and and mynahs, 

mynahs, 

whistled on the lawns, lawns, the the little little birds, birds, the the goldfinches goldfinches and linnets linnets and fan-tails, fan flicked 

from bough to bough. A lovely lovely kingfisher perched on on the the paddock paddock fence fence preening his his rich 

rich 

beauty, and a tui sang his three notes notes and and laughed and and sang sang them them again. 

again. 

"How loud loud the the birds birds are," are," said said Linda Linda in in her dream. dream. She She was walking walking with her father 

father 

through a green paddock sprinkled with daisies. Suddenly he bent down and parted the 

grasses and showed showed her her a a tiny tiny ball ball of of fluff fluff just just at her her feet. "Oh, Papa, the darling." She 

made a a cup cup of of her her hands hands and and caught the tiny bird and stroked stroked its its head head with with her her finger. finger. It 

was quite tame. But a funny unny thing happened. happened. As As she she stroked stroked it it began to swell, it ruffled 

ruffled 

and pouched, pouched, it grew grew bigger and bigger and and its round round eyes eyes seemed to smile knowingly knowingly at 

her. Now her arms were hardly wide enough enough to hold it it and she dropped it into into her her apron. 

apron. 

It had become a baby with a big naked head and a gaping bird-mouth, bird mouth, opening and 

shutting. Her father father broke into a a loud clattering clattering laugh and she she woke to to see see Burnell 

standing by by the the windows windows rattling rattling the the Venetian Venetian blind up up to to the very top. 

"Hullo," he said. "Didn't wake you, did I? Nothing much wrong with the weather this 

morning." 

He was enormously pleased. Weather like like this this set set a a final seal on his bargain. He felt, 

somehow, that he had bought the lovely day, too–got too got it chucked in dirt cheap with the 

house and ground. He dashed ashed off to his bath and and Linda turned over over and and raised herself herself on 

on 

one elbow elbow to to see the room by daylight. All the furniture furniture had had found a a place 

place–all the old 

paraphernalia, as she expressed it. it. Even the photographs were were on on the mantelpiece and and the 

medicine bottles es on the shelf above the the washstand. washstand. Her Her clothes clothes lay lay across across a a chair–her chair 

outdoor things, things, a purple cape cape and a round hat hat with a a plume in in it. it. Looking Looking at at them them she 

wished that that she she was was going going away from from this this house, house, too. And And she saw saw herself herself driving driving away 

from them all l in in a little buggy, driving driving away from everybody and and not not even even waving. 

waving. 

Back came came Stanley girt with a towel, glowing glowing and slapping slapping his thighs. thighs. He He pitched pitched the wet 

towel on top of of her hat and cape, and standing standing firm in in the the exact exact centre centre of a a square square of 

of 

sunlight he he began began to to do do his his exercises. exercises. Deep Deep breathing, bending bending and squatting like a frog 

and shooting shooting out his legs. He was so delighted delighted with with his his firm, firm, obedient body that he hit 

hit 

himself on on the the chest chest and and gave gave a a loud loud "Ah." "Ah." But But this amazing amazing vigour vigour seemed to to set him 

him 

worlds lds away from from Linda. Linda. She lay on the white tumbled bed bed and watched him as if from 

from 

the clouds. 

"Oh, damn! damn! Oh, Oh, blast!" blast!" said Stanley, who had butted into a crisp white shirt only to to find 

find 

that some idiot had fastened the neck-band neck band and he was caught. He stalked over to Linda 

waving his arms. 


11

"You look like a big fat turkey," said she. 

"Fat. I like like that," said Stanley. "I haven't a square inch inch of fat fat on on me. me. Feel that." 

that." 

"It's rock–it's it's iron," mocked she. 

"You'd be surprised," said Stanley, as though this were intensely interesting, "at the 

number of of chaps chaps at the club who have got a corporation. Young Young chaps, chaps, you know–men know 

of 

my age." He began began parting parting his his bushy bushy ginger hair, hair, his his blue blue eyes fixed and and round round in in the 

the 

glass, his knees bent, because the dressing-table dressing was always–confound confound it it–a bit too low 

for him. "Little Wally Wally Bell, for instance," and and he straightened, describing describing upon himself an 

enormous curve curve with the hairbrush. "I "I must say I've I've a perfect horror . . . . . " 

" 

"My dear, don't worry. You'll never be fat. You are ffar 

too energetic." 

"Yes, yes, I suppose that's that's true," said he, comforted comforted for the hundredth time, and taking taking a 

pearl penknife out of his pocket he began to pare his nails. 

"Breakfast, Stanley." Stanley." Beryl was at the door. "Oh, "Oh, Linda, mother says you are not to get up 

yet." She popped popped her her head head in in at at the the door. She She had a big piece of syringa stuck through through her 

her 

hair. 

"Everything we left on the veranda veranda last night night is is simply sopping this this morning. You You should 

should 

see poor dear mother wringing out the tables and the chairs. However, there is no harm 

done–" " this with the faintest glance at Stanley. 

"Have you you told Pat to have the buggy buggy round in time? time? It's a good six and a a half half miles miles to the 

the 

office." 

"I can imagine what this early early start start for the office will be like," thought Lin Linda. Lin "It will be 

very high pressure indeed." 

"Pat, Pat." She She heard heard the the servant servant girl girl calling. calling. But But Pat Pat was was evidently evidently hard hard to to find; find; the silly 

voice went baa–baaing baaing through through the garden.Linda did not rest rest again until the final slam of 

the front door told her that t Stanley was really gone. 

Later she heard her children playing playing in the the garden. garden. Lottie's Lottie's stolid, stolid, compact compact little little voice 

voice 

cried: "Ke–zia. Isa–bel." bel." She was was always getting getting lost lost or or losing losing people people only to find them 

again, to her great surprise, round the next tree or the next corner. "Oh, there you are after 

all." They They had had been been turned turned out out after breakfast and told not to come back back to to the house until 

until 

they were were called. called. Isabel Isabel wheeled wheeled a a neat neat pramload pramload of prim prim dolls dolls and Lottie Lottie was allowed 

for a great treat to walk beside her holding the doll's parasol over the face of the wax one. 

"Where are you going to, Kezia?" asked Isabel, Isabel, who longed to to find some light light and and menial 

duty that Kezia might perform and so be roped in under under her government. 

"Oh, just away," said Kezia. . . . 


12

Then she did not hear them any more. What a glare there was in in the the room. room. She She hated 

hated 

blinds pulled pulled up to the top at any time, but in the the morning morning it it was intolerable. She turned 

turned 

over to to the wall and and idly, idly, with with one one finger, she traced traced a a poppy on the wall wall-paper with a 

leaf and a stem and a fat bursting bud. In the the quiet, and under her tracing tracing finger, the 

poppy seemed to come alive. She could feel the sticky, silky petals, the stem, hairy like like a 

gooseberry skin, the rough leaf and the tight glazed bud. Things ha had d a habit of coming 

alive like that. Not only large substantial things like like furniture but curtains and and the patterns 

of stuffs and the the fringes of quilts and cushions. How often often she had seen the tassel fringe 

of her quilt change into a funny procession of da dancers ncers with priests attending. . . . For 

there were were some tassels that did not dance at all but but walked stately, bent bent forward as as if 

if 

praying or or chanting. How How often often the the medicine bottles had turned turned into a a row row of of little little men 

with brown top-hats hats on; and the washstand jug had a way of sitting in the basin like a fat 

bird in a round nest. 

"I dreamed about about birds birds last last night," night," thought thought Linda. Linda. What was it? She She had forgotten. But 

But 

the strangest part of this coming alive of of things was was what they did. They listened, they 

seemed d to to swell swell out out with with some mysterious important important content, and when they were were full 

full 

she felt felt that that they smiled. But it was not for her, only, only, their their sly secret smile; they were 

members of of a a secret secret society society and and they they smiled among themselves. themselves. Sometimes, Sometimes, when when she 

had fallen asleep asleep in the daytime, she woke and and could not lift lift a a finger, could not even turn 

her eyes to to left left or or right right because because THEY were were there; sometimes when when she she went went out out of of a 

a 

room and and left it it empty, empty, she knew as she clicked clicked the door to to that that THEY THEY were were filling it. i 

And there there were were times in the evenings when when she she was upstairs, upstairs, perhaps, perhaps, and everybody everybody else 

else 

was down, when when she she could could hardly hardly escape escape from from them. them. Then she she could could not not hurry, hurry, she she could 

not hum a tune; if she tried to say ever so carelessly–"Bother carelessly "Bother that old thimble"–THEY 

thimble 

were not deceived. THEY knew how frightened she was; THEY THEY saw how she turned her 

head away as she passed the mirror. What Linda always felt was that THEY THEY wanted 

wanted 

something of her, and she knew that if she gave herself up and was quiet, more than 

than 

quiet, t, silent, motionless, something would really happen. 

"It's very quiet quiet now," now," she she thought. thought. She opened opened her her eyes wide, and she heard heard the silence 

silence 

spinning its soft endless endless web. web. How lightly she breathed; she she scarcely had had to breathe breathe at all. 

all. 

Yes, everything had come alive down to to the the minutest, minutest, tiniest particle, particle, and and she did did not not feel 

feel 

her bed, she she floated, floated, held up in the air. Only Only she seemed to be be listening listening with with her wide 

wide 

open watchful watchful eyes, eyes, waiting for someone to to come who who just just did did not come, watching watching for 

for 

something to o happen that just did not happen. 

VI 

In the the kitchen kitchen at at the the long deal table table under the two windows windows old old Mrs. Mrs. Fairfield was 

washing the the breakfast breakfast dishes. dishes. The The kitchen kitchen window window looked looked out on to a a big big grass grass patch that 

that 

led down to the vegetable garden and the rhubarb beds. On one side the grass patch was 

bordered by the scullery and wash-house wash house and over this whitewashed lean lean-to there grew a 

knotted vine. She had noticed yesterday that a few tiny corkscrew tendrils had come right 

through some cracks in the scullery cceiling 

eiling and all the windows of the lean-to lean had a thick 

frill of ruffled green. 


13

"I am very very fond of a grape vine," vine," declared Mrs. Fairfield, "but "but I do not not think think that that the 

the 

grapes will ripen here. It It takes Australian Australian sun." And she she remembered how how Beryl Beryl when 

when 

she was as a a baby had had been been picking picking some some white white grapes grapes from the vine on on the the back back veranda of 

the Tasmanian house house and and she had been stung on the leg by a a huge huge red red ant. ant. She saw saw Beryl 

Beryl 

in a little plaid dress with red ribbon tie-ups tie ups on the shoulders screaming so dreadfully dreadfull that 

half the street rushed in. And how the child's leg had swelled! "T "T–t–t t–t!" Mrs. Fairfield 

caught her breath breath remembering. remembering. "Poor child, child, how terrifying it it was." And she set set her her lips 

lips 

tight and went went over over to to the the stove stove for for some some more more hot hot water. water. The water frothed fr up in the big 

soapy bowl bowl with with pink and blue bubbles on top of of the foam. foam. Old Old Mrs. Mrs. Fairfield's arms 

were bare to the elbow and stained stained a a bright bright pink. pink. She wore a grey foulard dress patterned 

patterned 

with large purple pansies, a white linen apron and a high cap shaped like a jelly mould of 

white muslin. At her throat throat there was a silver crescent moon with five five little little owls seated 

on it, and round her neck she wore a watch-guard watch guard made of black beads. 

It was hard to believe that she had not been in that kitchen for years; she was so much a 

part of it. She put put the crocks away with a a sure, sure, precise precise touch, moving moving leisurely leisurely and ample 

from the stove to to the dresser, looking into the pantry pantry and and the larder as though there were 

not an unfamiliar corner. When she had finished, eeverything 

verything in the kitchen had become 

part of a series series of of patterns. She stood in the middle middle of the room wiping her hands hands on a 

a 

check cloth; cloth; a smile beamed on her lips; lips; she thought it it looked looked very very nice, very 

very 

satisfactory. 

"Mother! Mother! Are you there?" called calle Beryl. 

"Yes, dear. Do you want me?" 

"No. I'm I'm coming," coming," and Beryl rushed in, very flushed, dragging with her her two two big pictures. 

"Mother, whatever whatever can can I do do with with these these awful hideous Chinese Chinese paintings that Chung Wah 

gave Stanley when he went bankrupt? It's absurd to say that they are valuable, because 

they were were hanging in Chung Wah's Wah's fruit shop for months before. before. I I can't make out why 

Stanley wants them them kept. I'm sure sure he thinks thinks them just as as hideous hideous as as we we do, but it's 

because of the frames," she said spitefully. "I suppose he thinks the frames might fetch 

something some day or other." 

"Why don't don't you hang them in the passage?" suggested Mrs. Mrs. Fairfield; "they would not not be 

much seen there." 

"I can't. There is no room. I've hung all the photographs of of his his office office there before and 

after building, and the signed photos of his business friends, and that awful awful enlargement 

enlargement 

of Isabel lying lying on the the mat in in her her singlet." singlet." Her Her angry glance glance swept swept the the placid placid kitchen. "I 

know what I'll do. I'll hang them here. I will tell Stanley they got a little damp in the 

moving so I have put them in here for the time being." 

She dragged a a chair chair forward, jumped on it, took a hammer and and a a big big nail nail out out of of her 

her 

pinafore pocket and banged away. 

"There! That is enough! Hand me the picture, mother." mother. 


14

"One moment, child." Her mother was wiping over the the carved carved ebony frame. 

frame. 

"Oh, mother, mother, really really you need not dust them. It would take take years to to dust all those little 

little 

holes." And she frowned at the top of her mother's head and bit her her lip with with impatience. 

Mother's ther's deliberate deliberate way of doing things was simply simply maddening. It It was was old old age, age, she 

supposed, loftily. 

At last the the two two pictures pictures were were hung hung side by side. side. She She jumped off off the chair, stowing away 

the little hammer. 

"They don't look so bad there, do they?" said she. "And at any rate nobody need gaze at 

them except Pat and the servant girl–have girl have I got a spider's web on my face, mother? I've 

been poking poking into that cupboard under the stairs and now now something something keeps keeps tickling my 

my 

nose. 

But before Mrs. Fairfield had time to look Beryl had turned away. Someone tapped on 

the window: Linda Linda was was there, nodding and smiling. They heard the the latch latch of the scullery 

door lift lift and and she she came in. She She had had no no hat on; her her hair hair stood upon her head head in in curling rings 

and she was wrapped up in an old o cashmere shawl. 

"I'm so hungry," said Linda: "where can I get get something to to eat, mother? This is the first 

time I've I've been in the the kitchen. It says says 'mother' all all over; everything is in in pairs." 

"I will make you some tea," said Mrs. Fairfield, spreading a cclean 

lean napkin over a corner of 

the table, "and Beryl can have a cup with you." 

"Beryl, do do you want half my gingerbread?" Linda waved the the knife knife at at her. her. "Beryl, "Beryl, do do you 

you 

like the house now that we are here?" 

"Oh yes, I like the house immensely and the garden iis 

s beautiful, but it feels very far away 

from everything to me. I can't imagine people coming out out from town to to see see us in in that 

that 

dreadful jolting bus, bus, and and I am sure there is not not anyone here here to to come come and call. call. Of Of course course it 

it 

does not matter to you because–" because 

"But there's the buggy," said Linda. "Pat can drive you you into into town town whenever whenever you you like." 

That was a consolation, certainly, but there there was something at the back of of Beryl's mind, 

something she did not even put into words for herself. 

"Oh, well, at any rate it won't kill us," she said dryly, putting down her empty cup and 

standing up up and and stretching. stretching. "I am am going going to to hang curtains." And And she ran away singing: 

singing: 

"How many thousand birds I see 

That sing aloud from every tree . . . 

" . . . birds I see That sing aloud from every tree . . . " But when she reached the diningroom 

she she stopped singing, her face changed; it became became gloomy gloomy and and sullen. 


15

"One may may as well well rot here as anywhere else," else," she muttered savagely, savagely, digging digging the stiff 

stiff 

brass safety-pins pins into the red serge curtains curtains. 

The two two left in in the the kitchen kitchen were were quiet quiet for for a a little. little. Linda Linda leaned leaned her cheek cheek on on her her fingers 

fingers 

and watched watched her mother. She thought thought her her mother mother looked looked wonderfully beautiful with with her 

back to to the the leafy window. There There was was something something comforting comforting in the sight of her that Linda 

felt she could never never do do without. without. She She needed needed the the sweet sweet smell of her her flesh, and and the soft feel 

of her cheeks cheeks and and her her arms arms and shoulders still softer. She loved loved the the way way her hair curled, 

silver at her forehead, lighter at her neck and bright brown still in the big coil under the 

muslin cap. Exquisite Exquisite were were her her mother's hands, and the the two rings she wore seemed to 

melt into her creamy skin. And And she she was was always so so fresh, fresh, so so delicious. The The old old woman 

could bear nothing but linen next to her body and she bath bathed ed in cold water winter and 

summer. 

"Isn't there anything for me to do?" asked Linda. 

"No, darling. darling. I wish wish you you would go into the garden and give give an an eye eye to to your your children; children; but 

but 

that I know you will not do." 

"Of course I will, but you know Isabel is much more grown up than any of us." 

"Yes, but Kezia is not," said Mrs. Fairfield. 

"Oh, Kezia Kezia has has been been tossed by a bull hours ago," said said Linda, winding winding herself up up in her 

her 

shawl again. 

But no, Kezia Kezia had seen a bull through a hole in a a knot of of wood wood in in the the paling paling that t 

separated the tennis lawn from the paddock. But she had not not liked liked the the bull frightfully, so 

so 

she had had walked walked away back through the orchard, up up the the grassy slope, along the the path path by by the 

lace-bark bark tree tree and and so so into into the spread tangled garden. garden. She did not not believ believe believ that she would 

ever not get lost lost in in this garden. Twice Twice she had had found found her way back back to to the big big iron gates 

gates 

they had driven through the night night before, and and then then had had turned turned to walk up the drive that 

led to the house, but there were so many little paths on eithe either r side. On one side they all 

led into a tangle of of tall tall dark trees trees and and strange bushes bushes with flat velvet leaves and feathery 

cream flowers that buzzed with flies when you shook them them–this this was the frightening side, 

and no garden at all. The little paths here were wet and clayey with tree roots spanned 

across them like the marks of big fowls' feet. 

But on on the the other other side side of of the the drive drive there there was was a high box box border border and and the the paths had had box 

box 

edges and and all of them led into a deeper and deeper tangle tangle of of flowers. flowers. The The camellias camelli were 

in bloom, white white and and crimson crimson and pink and white striped with flashing flashing leaves. You You could 

not see a a leaf leaf on on the the syringa syringa bushes bushes for the the white white clusters. clusters. The The roses roses were were in in flower– flower 

gentlemen's button-hole hole roses, little white white ones, but but far far too too full full of of insects insec to hold under 

anyone's nose, nose, pink pink monthly monthly roses roses with with a ring of of fallen fallen petals round the bushes, bushes, cabbage 

cabbage 

roses on thick stalks, moss roses, always in bud, pink pink smooth smooth beauties opening curl curl on 

on 

curl, red ones so dark they seemed to turn black as they fell, and a certain exquisite cream 

kind with a slender red stem and bright scarlet leaves. 


16

There were clumps of fairy bells, and all kinds kinds of geraniums, and and there there were were little trees of 

of 

verbena and bluish lavender bushes and a bed of pelargoniums with with velvet velvet eyes eye and 

leaves like moths' wings. wings. There There was a bed bed of of nothing but mignonette and another of 

nothing but pansies–borders borders of of double double and and single daisies and and all all kinds kinds of little little tufty tufty plants 

plants 

she had never seen before. 

The red-hot hot pokers were taller than she; the Japanese sunflowers grew in a tiny jungle. 

She sat down down on on one one of of the the box box borders. borders. By By pressing pressing hard at at first it it made a a nice seat. But 

But 

how dusty dusty it it was was inside! inside! Kezia bent down down to look look and sneezed and rubbed rubbed her her nose. 

nose. 

And then she found herself at the top of the rolling grassy slope that led down to the 

orchard . . . . . . . . She She looked looked down down at the the slope a a moment; moment; then she lay down on her back, 

gave a a squeak squeak and rolled over and and over into into the the thick thick flowery flowery orchard grass. grass. As As she lay 

lay 

waiting for things to stop spinning, she decided to go up to the house and ask the servant 

girl for for an empty empty matchbox. She wanted to make a surprise for the the grandmother. grandmother. . . . . First 

she would put a leaf inside with a big violet lying on on it, it, then she would put a very small 

white picotee, perhaps, rhaps, on each side of of the the violet, violet, and and then she would would sprinkle some 

lavender on the top, but not to cover their heads. 

She often often made made these surprises for the grandmother, and they they were always always most 

most 

successful. 

"Do you want a match, my granny?" 

"Why, yes, child, I believe a match is is just what what I'm looking for." for." The The grandmother grandmother slowly 

slowly 

opened the box and came upon the picture inside. 

"Good gracious, child! How you astonished me!" 

"I can make her one every day here," she she thought, scrambling up the the grass grass on on her h slippery 

shoes. 

But on on her way back back to to the the house house she came to that island that lay in the middle middle of of the 

the 

drive, dividing the the drive into into two two arms arms that met in front front of of the the house. house. The island was 

was 

made of grass banked up high. Nothing grew on the top except one huge plant with 

thick, grey-green, green, thorny leaves, and out out of of the the middle middle there sprang sprang up a a tall tall stout stout stem. 

stem. 

Some of the leaves leaves of the plant were so old that they curled curled up in the air no longer; longer; they 

turned back, they were split and broken; some of them lay flat and withered on the 

ground. 

Whatever could could it it be? She She had never seen seen anything like it it before. She stood and stared. 

And then she saw her mother coming down the path. 

"Mother, what is it?" asked Kezia. 

Linda looked up at the fat swelling plant with its cruel leaves and fleshy stem. High 

above them, as as though though becalmed becalmed in in the the air, air, and and yet holding holding so fast to the earth it grew 


17

from, it might have had claws instead of of roots. The The curving curving leaves leaves seemed seemed to to be be hiding 

hiding 

something; the blind stem cut into the air as if no wind could ever shake it. 

"That is an aloe, Kezia," said her mother. 

"Does it ever have any flowers?" 

"Yes, Kezia," and Linda smiled down at her, and half shut shut her her eyes. "Once every hundred 

years." 

On his way home from the office Stanley Burnell stopped the buggy at the Bodega, got 

out and bought bought a a large large bottle bottle of of oysters. oysters. At At the Chinaman's Chinaman's shop next door door he he bought a 

pineapple in the pink pink of of condition, condition, and and noticing a a basket of fresh black cherries he told 

John to put him a pound of th those ose as well. The oysters and the pine he stowed away in the 

box under the front seat, but the cherries he kept in his hand. 

Pat, the handy-man, man, leapt off off the the box box and and tucked him up up again in in the brown brown rug. 

rug. 

"Lift yer feet, Mr. Burnell, while I give yer a fold fo under," said he. 

"Right! Right! First rate!" said Stanley. "You "You can can make make straight straight for home now." 

VII 

Pat gave the grey mare a touch and the buggy sprang forward. 

"I believe this man is a first-rate first rate chap," thought Stanley. He liked the look of him sitting 

up there in his neat neat brown coat and brown bowler. He liked liked the way way Pat Pat had tucked him 

in, and he liked his eyes. There was nothing servile about him him–and and if there was one thing 

he hated hated more than another it was servility. And And he looked as as if if he was was pleased 

pleased with his 

job–happy happy and contented already. 

The grey grey mare went went very very well; well; Burnell Burnell was impatient to be out of of the town. He wanted to 

be home. Ah, it was splendid to live in the country country–to to get right out of that hole of a town 

once the office was closed; and this drive in the fresh warm air, knowing all the while 

that his own house house was at the other end, with its garden and paddocks, its three tip-top tip 

cows and and enough enough fowls fowls and and ducks ducks to to keep keep them them in in poultry, was splendid splendid too. 

As they left the town finally and bbowled 

owled away up the deserted road his heart beat hard for 

joy. He He rooted rooted in the the bag and and began began to to eat eat the the cherries, cherries, three or four at at a time, time, chucking 

chucking 

the stones over the side of the buggy. They were delicious, so plump and cold, without a 

spot or bruise on them. 

Look at those two, now–black black one side and white the other–perfect! other perfect! A perfect little pair 

of Siamese twins. And he stuck them in his button-hole. button hole. . . . By Jove, he wouldn't mind 

giving that chap up there a handful–but handful but no, better not. Better wait until he had been with 

him a bit longer. 


18

He began to to plan plan what what he would do with his Saturday afternoons afternoons and and his his Sundays. Sundays. He 

He 

wouldn't go go to to the the club club for for lunch on on Saturday. Saturday. No, No, cut away from from the office office as as soon soon as 

as 

possible and get them to give him a couple of slic slices es of cold meat and half lettuce when he 

got home. And And then then he'd he'd get get a a few few chaps chaps out out from from town to play tennis in the afternoon. 

Not too many–three three at most. Beryl was a a good good player, player, too. . . . . . He stretched out his his right 

arm and slowly bent it, feeling the muscle m . . . . A bath, a good rub-down, down, a cigar on the 

veranda after dinner. . . . 

On Sunday morning they would go to church church–children children and all. Which reminded him that 

he must must hire a pew, pew, in in the the sun sun if possible possible and well forward forward so as as to to be out out of of the the draught draugh 

from the the door. door. In In fancy he he heard himself himself intoning intoning extremely well: "When thou did 

overcome the Sharpness ness of Death Thou didst open the Kingdom dom of Heaven to all 

Believers." And he saw the neat brass brass-edged edged card on the corner of the pew pew–Mr. Stanley 

Burnell and d family. . . . . . . The The rest of of the the day day he'd loaf about about with with Linda. Linda. . . . . . . Now Now they they were 

were 

walking about the garden; she was on his arm, arm, and he was was explaining explaining to to her her at length 

length 

what he he intended intended doing doing at at the the office office the the week week following. He He heard heard her her saying: saying: "My "My dear, 

dear, 

I think that that is is most most wise. wise. . . . . . . " Talking Talking things things over with with Linda Linda was was a a wonderful wonderful help help even 

even 

though they were apt to drift away from the point. 

Hang it all! They weren't weren't getting getting along along very very fast. Pat Pat had put the brake on again. Ugh! 

What a brute of a thing it was. was. He could feel feel it it in the pit of his stomach. 

A sort of panic overtook Burnell Burnell whenever he approached near home. home. Before he he was well 

inside the the gate gate he he would shout shout to anyone anyone within within sight: sight: "Is "Is everything everything all all right?" right?" And then 

he did not believe it was until he heard Linda say: "Hullo! Are you home again?" That 

was the worst of living in the country–it country it took the deuce of a long time to get back. . . . 

But now now they they weren't far off. They were on the top of the last hill; hill; it was a gentle gentle slope slope all 

all 

the way now ow and not more than half a mile. 

Pat trailed the whip over the the mare's mare's back and and he he coaxed coaxed her: "Goop "Goop now. Goop now." 

now." 

It wanted wanted a a few few minutes to to sunset. sunset. Everything stood stood motionless motionless bathed bathed in in bright, bright, metallic 

light and from the paddocks on either side there streamed the milky scent of ripe grass. 

The iron iron gates gates were were open. open. They They dashed dashed through and and up up the the drive and and round round the the island, 

island, 

stopping at the exact middle of the veranda. 

"Did she satisfy yer, sir?" said Pat, getting off the box and grinning at at his maste master. 

"Very well indeed, Pat," said Stanley. 

Linda came came out of the glass door; her voice rang in in the shadowy shadowy quiet. "Hullo! "Hullo! Are you 

home again?" 

At the sound of her his heart beat so hard that he he could hardly stop stop himself himself dashing up the 

the 

steps and catching her in his arms. 

"Yes, I'm home again. Is everything all right?" 


19

Pat began to to lead lead the the buggy buggy round round to to the the side side gate gate that that opened opened into into the the courtyard. 

courtyard. 

"Here, half a moment," moment," said Burnell. "Hand me those two parcels." And he he said said to to Linda, 

"I've brought you back a a bottle bottle of of oysters oysters and a a pineapple," pineapple," as though he had brought her 

back all the harvest of the earth. 

They all all went into the hall; Linda carried carried the oysters in one hand and and the pineapple in in the 

other. Burnell shut the glass door, threw his hat down, put his arms round her and 

strained her to him, kissing the the top top of of her her head, head, her her ears, her lips, her eyes. 

"Oh, dear! dear! Oh, Oh, dear!" dear!" said said she. she. "Wait "Wait a moment. Let me put down these silly things," things," and 

and 

she put the bottle of oysters and the pine on a little car carved ved chair. "What have you got in 

your button-hole–cherries?" cherries?" She took them out and hung hung them them over over his ear. 

"Don't do that, darling. They are for you." 

So she took took them off his ear again. "You "You don't don't mind mind if I I save save them. them. They'd They'd spoil spoil my 

my 

appetite for dinner. . Come and see your children. They They are having tea." 

The lamp lamp was lighted on on the the nursery nursery table. table. Mrs. Mrs. Fairfield Fairfield was was cutting and spreading bread 

and butter. butter. The The three three little little girls sat up up to table wearing large bibs embroidered with their 

their 

names. They wiped their eir mouths mouths as as their their father father came in ready to be kissed. The windows 

were open; a jar of of wild flowers flowers stood stood on the the mantelpiece, mantelpiece, and and the the lamp lamp made made a a big big soft 

soft 

bubble of light on the ceiling. 

"You seem pretty snug, mother," said Burnell, blinking at the light. Isabel and Lottie sat 

one on either side of the table, Kezia at the bottom–the bottom the place at the top was empty. 

"That's where my boy ought to sit," sit," thought Stanley. Stanley. He He tightened tightened his arm arm round Linda's 

shoulder. By God, he was a perfect fool to feel as happy as this! 

"We are, Stanley. We We are are very snug," said Mrs. Mrs. Fairfield, Fairfield, cutting cutting Kezia's bread into 

fingers. 

"Like it better than town–eh, eh, children?" asked Burnell. 

"Oh, yes," yes," said said the the three three little little girls, and and Isabel Isabel added as as an an afterthought: "Thank you very 

very 

much h indeed, father dear." 

"Come upstairs," said Linda. "I'll bring your slippers." 

But the the stairs were too narrow for for them them to go up up arm arm in in arm. arm. It It was quite dark in the 

room. He heard her ring tapping tapping on the the marble marble mantelpiece mantelpiece as she felt for for the the matches. 

matches. 

"I've got some, darling. I'll light the candles." 

But instead instead he came up behind her and again he put put his arms round her and and pressed her 

head into his shoulder. 


20

"I'm so confoundedly happy," he said. 

"Are you?" She turned and put her hands on his breast and looked up at him. 

"I don't know what has come over me," he protested. 

It was was quite quite dark dark outside outside now now and and heavy heavy dew dew was falling. When Linda shut shut the window 

the cold dew dew touched her finger finger tips. Far Far away away a dog barked. barked. "I believe there there is going to 

to 

be a moon," she said. 

At the the words, words, and with the cold wet dew on her her fingers, she felt as though the the moon moon had 

had 

risen–that that she she was being strangely discovered in a flood of of cold cold light. light. She shivered; she 

came away from the window and sat down upon the box ottoman beside Stanley. 

* * * 

In the dining-room, room, by by the flicker of a a wood fire, Beryl sat on on a hassock playing the 

guitar. She had bathed bathed and changed all her clothes. clothes. Now Now she she wore wore a a white white muslin dress 

dress 

with black spots on it and in her hair she had pinned a black silk rose. 

Nature has gone to her rest, love, 

See, we are alone. 

Give me your hand to press, love, 

Lightly within my own. 

She played and and sang sang half to herself, for for she she was was watching watching herself playing and singing. 

The firelight gleamed on her shoes, on the ruddy belly of the guitar, and on her white 

fingers . . . . 

"If I were outside the the window window and and looked looked in in and and saw saw myself myself I really would be rather 

struck," thought she. Still more softly she played the the accompaniment–not accompaniment singing now 

but listening. 

. . . . "The The first time that I ever saw you, little girl–oh, girl oh, you had no idea that you were not 

alone–you you were sitting with with your your little feet upon a hassock, playing playing the the guitar. guitar. God, God, I I can 

can 

never forget. . . . " Beryl flung up her head and began to sing again: 

Even the moon is aweary . . . 

But there there came a loud bang bang at the door. The The servant girl's girl's crimson crimson face face popped popped through. 

"Please, Miss Beryl, I've got to come and lay." 

"Certainly, Alice," said Beryl, Beryl, in a a voice voice of of ice. ice. She She put the guitar guitar in in a corner. Alice 

lunged d in with a heavy black iron tray. 

"Well, I have have had had a a job job with with that that oving," said said she. she. "I "I can't get nothing to to brown." 


21

"Really!" said Beryl. 

But no, no, she could not not stand stand that that fool fool of of a girl. She ran into the the dark dark drawing drawing-room and 

began walking up and down. . . . Oh, she was restless, restless. There was a mirror over 

the mantel. She leaned her arms arms along along and and looked at her pale shadow shadow in it. How beautiful 

she looked, but there was nobody to see, nobody. 

"Why must you suffer so?" said the face in the mirror mirror. . "You were not made for suffering. 

. . . Smile!" 

Beryl smiled, smiled, and really her smile was so adorable that that she smiled smiled again 

again–but this time 

because she could not help it. 

"Good morning, Mrs. Jones." 

VIII 

"Oh, good morning, Mrs. Smith. I'm so glad to see yo you. u. Have you brought your 

children?" 

"Yes, I've brought both my twins. I have had another another baby since I saw saw you you last, last, but but she 

came so suddenly that I haven't had had time to make her her any clothes clothes yet. So I I left her. her. . . . . 

. 

How is your husband?" 

"Oh, he is very well, ell, thank you. At At least he he had an an awful cold but but Queen Victoria–she's 

Victoria 

my godmother, you know–sent know sent him a case of pineapples and that cured it im–mediately. 

im 

Is that your new servant?" 

"Yes, her name's Gwen. Gwen. I've only only had had her her two two days. days. Oh, Gwen, Gwen, this this is is my friend, Mrs. 

Smith." 

"Good morning, morning, Mrs. Mrs. Smith. Smith. Dinner won't be be ready for for about about ten minutes." 

"I don't think you ought ought to introduce introduce me me to to the servant. servant. I I think think I ought to to just begin 

talking to her." 

"Well, she's more of a lady lady-help than a servant and you do introduce lady-helps, lady I know, 

because Mrs. Samuel Josephs had one." 

"Oh, well, well, it it doesn't doesn't matter," matter," said the the servant servant carelessly, carelessly, beating up a a chocolate chocolate custard 

custard 

with half half a a broken clothes peg. The dinner was was baking beautifully beautifully on a concrete step. She 

began gan to to lay the cloth cloth on on a pink garden seat. seat. In front of each person person she she put two geranium 

leaf plates, a pine needle fork and a twig knife. There were three daisy daisy heads heads on a laurel 

laurel 

leaf for poached eggs, some slices of of fuchsia fuchsia petal cold beef, beef, some lovely lovely little l 

rissoles 

made of of earth earth and and water and dandelion seeds, and the the chocolate custard which which she had 

had 

decided to serve in the pawa shell she had cooked it in. 


22

"You needn't needn't trouble about my children," children," said Mrs. Smith graciously. "If "If you'll you'll just take 

this bottle tle and fill it at the tap–I tap mean at the dairy." 

"Oh, all all right," said said Gwen, and she whispered to to Mrs. Jones: "Shall I I go and and ask Alice for 

a little bit of real milk?" 

But someone someone called from from the the front of the house and and the luncheon party party melted away, 

leaving ving the charming table, table, leaving leaving the rissoles rissoles and and the poached eggs eggs to the the ants ants and and to to an 

an 

old snail who pushed his his quivering quivering horns horns over over the the edge edge of the garden seat and and began to 

to 

nibble a geranium plate. 

"Come round to the front, children. Pip and Rags have come." 

The Trout Trout boys were were the cousins Kezia had mentioned to to the the storeman. storeman. They They lived lived about 

about 

a mile away in a house called called Monkey Tree Tree Cottage. Pip was was tall tall for his age, with lank 

black hair hair and and a a white face, but Rags was very very small small and and so so thin that that when when he was 

undressed his shoulder shoulder blades stuck out out like two little wings. They had a mongrel dog 

with pale blue eyes and a long tail turned turned up at the end end who followed followed them everywhere; 

he was was called Snooker. They spent half their time combing combing and and brushing brushing Snooker Snook and 

dosing him with various awful mixtures concocted concocted by Pip, Pip, and and kept secretly by him him in in a 

broken jug covered covered with with an an old old kettle kettle lid. Even faithful little Rags Rags was was not allowed allowed to 

know the the full secret secret of of these these mixtures.. mixtures.. .. Take some carbolic carbolic tooth tooth powder powde and a pinch of 

sulphur powdered up up fine, fine, and and perhaps perhaps a bit of starch to stiffen stiffen up Snooker's Snooker's coat. coat. . . . . But 

But 

that was not all; Rags privately thought that the rest was gun-powder. gun powder. . . . And he never 

was allowed to help with the mixing because of the dang danger. er. . . . "Why, if a spot of this 

flew in in your your eye, eye, you you would would be be blinded for for life," life," Pip Pip would say, stirring the the mixture mixture with 

an iron spoon. "And there's always the chance–just chance just the chance, mind you–of you it exploding 

if you whack it hard enough. . . . Two spoo spoons ns of this in a kerosene tin will be enough to 

kill thousands of fleas." But Snooker spent spent all all his spare spare time biting biting and and snuffling, and he 

stank abominably. 

"It's because he is such a grand fighting dog," Pip Pip would say. "All fighting dogs dogs smell." 

The Trout ut boys had had often often spent spent the the day day with with the the Burnells in in town, town, but but now that that they lived 

lived 

in this fine fine house and boncer garden they they were were inclined inclined to to be very friendly. friendly. Besides, both 

both 

of them liked playing with girls–Pip, girls Pip, because he could fox them so, and because Lo Lottie 

was so easily frightened, and Rags for a shameful shameful reason. reason. He adored dolls. How he would 

look at a doll doll as as it it lay lay asleep, asleep, speaking speaking in a whisper whisper and smiling timidly, and and what a a treat 

treat 

it was to him to be allowed to hold one. . . . 

"Curve your arms round 

would say sternly. 

her. Don't keep them stiff like that. You'll drop her," Isabel 

Now they were were standing standing on on the the veranda veranda and holding back Snooker, who wanted to to go 

into the house but wasn't allowed to because Aunt Linda hated hated decent decent dogs. 

dogs. 


23

"We came over in n the the bus bus with with mum," mum," they they said, "and "and we're going going to spend spend the the afternoon 

afternoon 

with you. We brought brought over a batch of our gingerbread gingerbread for for Aunt Aunt Linda. Linda. Our Minnie made 

made 

it. It's all over nuts." 

"I skinned the almonds," said Pip. "I just stuck my my hand into into a a saucepan saucepan of boiling water 

and grabbed grabbed them out out and and gave gave them them a kind kind of pinch and and the nuts nuts flew flew out of of the the skins, 

skins, 

some of them as high as the ceiling. Didn't they, Rags?" 

Rags nodded. "When "When they make make cakes cakes at at our our place," said said Pip, Pip, "we "we always always stay stay in in the 

the 

kitchen, Rags gs and me, and I get get the bowl and he gets gets the spoon spoon and the egg-beater. egg 

Sponge cake's the best. It's all frothy stuff, then." 

He ran down the veranda steps to the lawn, planted his his hands hands on on the grass, bent forward, 

and just did not stand on his head. 

"That at lawn's all bumpy," bumpy," he said. "You have to have a flat flat place for for standing on your 

your 

head. I can walk round the monkey tree on my head head at our place. Can't I, Rags?" 

Rags?" 

"Nearly," said Rags faintly. 

"Stand on your head on the veranda. That's quite flat," said Kezia. K 

"No, smarty," smarty," said said Pip. Pip. "You "You have have to to do do it on on something something soft. soft. Because if if you you give a a jerk 

jerk 

and fall fall over, over, something in your neck neck goes goes click, and it it breaks breaks off. off. Dad told me." 

me." 

"Oh, do let's play something," said Kezia. 

"Very well," said Isabel quickly, "we'll play hospitals. I will be the nurse and Pip can be 

the doctor and you and Lottie and Rags can be the sick people." 

Lottie didn't didn't want want to to play play that, that, because because last last time time Pip Pip had squeezed something down her 

throat and it hurt awfully. 

"Pooh," scoffed Pip. "It was only the the juice out of a bit of mandarin peel." 

peel." 

"Well, let's play ladies," said Isabel. Isabel. "Pip "Pip can can be be the the father and and you can can be be all all our our dear 

little children." 

"I hate playing ladies," said Kezia. "You always make us us go go to to church church hand hand in in hand hand and a 

come home and go to bed." 

Suddenly Pip Pip took took a filthy filthy handkerchief handkerchief out of his pocket. pocket. "Snooker! "Snooker! Here, Here, sir," sir," he he called. 

called. 

But Snooker, Snooker, as usual, tried to sneak away, his tail between between his legs. Pip leapt leapt on on top of 

him, and pressed him between his knees. 

"Keep eep his head firm, Rags," he said, and he tied the handkerchief round round Snooker's Snooker's head 

with a funny knot sticking up at the top. 


24

"Whatever is that for?" asked Lottie. 

"It's to train his ears to grow more close to his head head–see?" see?" said Pip. "All fighting dogs 

have ears that lie back. But Snooker's ears are a bit too soft." 

"I know," said said Kezia. Kezia. "They are always turning inside out. out. I hate that." 

Snooker lay down, made one feeble feeble effort effort with with his his paw paw to to get get the the handkerchief handkerchief off, but 

finding he could not, traile trailed after the children, shivering with misery. 

Pat came swinging swinging along; along; in in his his hand hand he he held held a a little little tomahawk that winked winked in in the the sun. 

sun. 

"Come with with me," me," he he said said to to the the children, children, "and "and I'll I'll show show you you how the the kings of of Ireland 

chop the head off a duck." 

They drew back–they they didn't believe him, and and besides, besides, the the Trout boys boys had had never never seen seen Pat 

Pat 

before. 

"Come on now," now," he coaxed, coaxed, smiling smiling and and holding out his hand to to Kezia. 

Kezia. 

IX 

"Is it a real duck's head? One from the paddock?" 

"It is," said Pat. She put her hand in his hard dry one, and he stuck the tomahawk in his 

belt and held out the other to Rags. He loved little children. 

"I'd better keep hold hold of of Snooker's Snooker's head if if there's there's going going to be any blood about," said Pip, 

"because the sight of blood makes him awfully wild." He ran ahead dragging Snooker by 

the handkerchief. 

"Do you think we ought to go?" whispered Isabel. "We haven't haven't asked or anything. Have 

we?" 

At the the bottom bottom of the orchard a gate was set in the paling paling fence. fence. On the other other side side a a steep 

steep 

bank led down to a bridge e that spanned the the creek, and once up the the bank bank on on the other other side 

side 

you were were on on the the fringe of the paddocks. A little old stable stable in in the the first first paddock had had been 

been 

turned into a fowl-house. house. The The fowls fowls had had strayed strayed far away away across across the paddock down to a 

a 

dumping ground in a hollow, but the ducks kept close to that that part part of the creek that flowed 

under the bridge. 

Tall bushes overhung the stream with red leaves and yellow flowers flowers and and clusters of 

blackberries. At some places the the stream was was wide wide and and shallow, but but at others it tumbled 

into deep little little pools pools with with foam at the edges edges and quivering quivering bubbles. It was was in in these these pools 

pools 

that the big white ducks had made themselves at at home, home, swimming and guzzling guzzling along along the 

weedy banks. 


25

Up and down they swam, preening their dazzling breasts, and other ducks with the same 

dazzling breasts and yellow bills swam upside down with them. 

"There is the the little Irish navy," navy," said said Pat, Pat, "and "and look look at the old admiral there with the the green 

green 

neck and the grand little flagstaff on his tail." 

He pulled a handful l of grain grain from his his pocket and and began began to to walk walk towards towards the the fowl-house, fowl 

lazy, his straw hat with the broken crown pulled over his eyes. 

"Lid. Lid–lid–lid–lid–" " he called. 

"Qua. Qua–qua–qua–qua– –" " answered the ducks, making for land, and flapping and 

scrambling ng up the bank they streamed after him him in in a a long waddling waddling line. He He coaxed coaxed them, 

them, 

pretending to to throw throw the grain, grain, shaking shaking it it in in his his hands hands and calling to to them them until until they they swept 

swept 

round him in a white ring. 

From far away the fowls heard the clamour and they too ca came me running across the 

paddock, their their heads thrust thrust forward, their wings wings spread, turning turning in in their their feet in the silly 

way fowls run and scolding as they came. 

Then Pat Pat scattered the grain and and the greedy ducks ducks began began to gobble. Quickly he he stooped, 

seized two, one ne under each arm, and strode across to the children. Their Their darting darting heads and 

round eyes frightened the children–all children except Pip. 

"Come on, on, sillies," sillies," he he cried, cried, "they "they can't can't bite. bite. They They haven't any any teeth. They've only only got 

got 

those two little holes in their beaks for breathing through." 

"Will you hold one while I finish with the other?" asked Pat. Pip let go go of of Snooker. 

"Won't I? Won't I? Give us one. I don't mind how much he kicks." 

He nearly sobbed with with delight delight when when Pat Pat gave the the white white lump into his arms. 

arms. 

There e was an old stump beside the door of the fowl fowl-house. house. Pat grabbed the duck by the 

legs, laid it flat across the stump, and and almost at the the same moment down came the little 

little 

tomahawk and and the duck's duck's head head flew off the stump. Up Up the blood blood spurted spurted over the the white 

feathers eathers and over his hand. 

When the the children saw the blood they were frightened frightened no no longer. They They crowded round 

him and began began to to scream. scream. Even Even Isabel Isabel leaped leaped about about crying: crying: "The blood! The blood!" Pip 

forgot all about his duck. He simply threw it away from him and shouted, "I saw it. I saw 

it," and jumped round the wood block. 

Rags, with with cheeks as as white white as as paper, paper, ran ran up up to to the the little head, put out out a finger as as if if he 

wanted to to touch it, it, shrank shrank back back again again and and then then again again put put out out a a finger. finger. He He was was shivering 

shivering 

all over. 

Even Lottie, frightened frightened little little Lottie, began to laugh and pointed pointed at the duck and and shrieked: 

"Look, Kezia, look." 


26

"Watch it!" shouted shouted Pat. He put down the body and it began began to waddle–with waddle 

only a long 

spurt of blood where the head had been; it began to ppad 

ad away without a sound towards 

the steep bank that led to the stream . . . . . That That was the crowning wonder. 

wonder. 

"Do you you see that? that? Do Do you you see that?" that?" yelled yelled Pip. Pip. He ran ran among the the little little girls tugging at 

their pinafores. 

"It's like a little engine. It's like a funny little railway engine," squealed Isabel. 

But Kezia Kezia suddenly rushed at Pat and flung her arms round his his legs and and butted butted her head 

as hard as she could against his knees. 

"Put head back! Put head back!" she screamed. 

When he stooped to move her she would not let go or take her head away. She held on as 

hard as as she she could and sobbed: "Head back! back! Head back!" back!" until until it it sounded sounded like like a a loud 

loud 

strange hiccup. 

"It's stopped. It's tumbled over. It's dead," said Pip. 

Pat dragged Kezia up into his arms. Her sun-bonnet sun bonnet had fallen back, but she would not let 

him look at at her face. face. No, No, she she pressed pressed her her face face into into a a bone bone in in his his shoulder and and clasped her 

arms round his neck. 

The children children stopped stopped screaming screaming as suddenly as as they had had begun. They stood round round the 

the 

dead duck. Rags s was was not frightened of the head any more. more. He He knelt knelt down and and stroked stroked it 

it 

now. 

"I don't think think the the head is quite dead yet," he said. "Do you think it would keep keep alive if I 

I 

gave it something to drink?" 

But Pip got very cross: "Bah! You baby." He whistled to Snooker and went off. 

When Isabel went up to Lottie, Lottie snatched away. 

"What are you always touching me for, Isabel?" 

"There now," said Pat to Kezia. "There's the grand little girl." 

She put up her hands and touched his ears. She felt something. Sl Slowly owly she raised her 

quivering face and looked. Pat wore little round gold ear ear-rings. rings. She never knew that men 

wore ear-rings. rings. She was very much surprised. 

"Do they come on and off?" she asked huskily. 

X 


27

Up in the house, in the warm tidy kitchen, Alice, th the e servant girl, was getting the 

afternoon tea. She was "dressed." She had on a a black stuff stuff dress dress that smelt under the 

arms, a white apron apron like like a a large large sheet of paper, and a lace bow bow pinned pinned on to her hair with 

two jetty pins. Also her comfortable carpet slippers were changed for a pair of black 

leather ones ones that pinched pinched her her corn corn on on her her little little toe toe something dreadful. . . . . . 

It was warm in the kitchen. A blow blow-fly fly buzzed, a fan of whity steam came out of the 

kettle, and the lid kept up a rattling jig as the water bubbled. The clock ticked in the warm 

air, slow slow and and deliberate, deliberate, like the the click click of of an an old old woman's woman's knitting needle, needle, and sometimes– sometimes 

for no reason at all, for there wasn't any breeze–the breeze the blind swung out and back, tapping the 

window. 

Alice was making water-cress 

ress sandwiches. She had a lump of butter on the table, a 

barracouta loaf, and the cresses tumbled in a white cloth. 

But propped propped against against the the butter butter dish dish there there was a dirty, greasy greasy little little book, book, half unstitched, 

with curled edges, and while she mashed the bu butter she read: 

"To dream of black-beetles beetles drawing drawing a hearse is is bad. bad. Signifies Signifies death death of of one one you you hold hold near 

near 

or dear, dear, either father, father, husband, husband, brother, brother, son, son, or intended. intended. If beetles beetles crawl crawl backwards as 

as 

you watch them it means death from fire or from great height such as flight of stairs, 

scaffolding, etc. 

"Spiders. To dream dream of spiders spiders creeping over you you is is good. Signifies large sum of of money money in 

in 

near future. future. Should party be in family way an easy easy confinement confinement may be expected. But 

care should be taken in sixth month to avoid eating of probable present of shell fish. . . . " 

How many thousand birds I see. 

Oh, life. life. There was Miss Beryl. Alice dropped the the knife and slipped the Dream Book 

under the the butter dish. But she hadn't time time to hide hide it quite, for Beryl ran into the the kitchen 

and up up to to the the table, and the first thing her eye eye lighted lighted on on were those greasy edges. edges. Alice 

Alice 

saw Miss Beryl's Beryl's meaning meaning little smile and the the way she raised raised her eyebrows and screwed 

up her eyes eyes as though though she were not quite sure what what that that could could be. be. She She decided d to answer 

if Miss Beryl should ask her: "Nothing as as belongs belongs to you, you, Miss." But she knew Miss 

Beryl would not ask her. 

Alice was a mild creature in reality, but she had the most most marvellous marvellous retorts ready for 

questions that she knew would never be put to her. The composing of them and the 

turning of of them them over and over in her mind comforted her her just as as much much as as if if they'd been 

been 

expressed. Really, they kept her alive in places where where she'd been that chivvied she'd been 

afraid to go to bed at night with a box of matches on the chair in case she bit the tops off 

in her sleep, as you might say. 

"Oh, Alice," said said Miss Miss Beryl. "There's "There's one one extra extra to tea, tea, so heat a plate plate of of yesterday's 

yesterday's 

scones, please. please. And put on on the Victoria Victoria sandwich as well as as the the coffee coffee cake. cake. And And don't 

forget to put little doyleys under the plates plates–will will you? You did yesterday, you know, and 

the tea looked so ugly ugly and common. And, Alice, don't put on on that dreadful old old pink and 

and 


28

green cosy cosy on on the afternoon afternoon teapot teapot again. again. That That is is only for the mornings. Really, R I think it 

ought to be kept for the kitchen kitchen–it's it's so shabby, and quite smelly. Put on the Japanese one. 

You quite understand, don't you?" 

Miss Beryl had finished. 

That sing aloud from every tree . . . 

she sang as she left the kitchen, very pleased with her firm handling of Alice. 

Oh, Alice was wild. wild. She She wasn't wasn't one to to mind mind being being told, but but there was something in the 

way Miss Beryl had had of speaking to her that she couldn't stand. Oh, Oh, that that she she couldn't. It 

made her curl up inside, as you might say, and she fair trembled. But what Alice really 

hated Miss Beryl for was that she she made made her her feel feel low. She talked to Alice in a special 

special 

voice as as though though she wasn't quite all there; and and she never never lost lost her her temper temper with with her–never. her 

Even when Alice dropped anything or forgot anything important Miss Beryl seemed to 

have expected it to happen. 

"If you please, please, Mrs. Burnell," Burnell," said said an an imaginary imaginary Alice, Alice, as she buttered the the scones, "I'd 

"I'd 

rather not take my orders orders from from Miss Miss Beryl. I I may may be be only a common common servant girl as 

as 

doesn't know w how to play the guitar, but . . . " 

This last last thrust thrust pleased pleased her so much that she quite recovered recovered her her temper. 

temper. 

"The only thing to do," she heard, as she opened the dining-room dining room door, "is to cut the 

sleeves out entirely and just have a broad band of black velvet over the shoulders instead. 

. . . " 

The white white duck did not look as if it had had ever had a a head when Alice Alice placed it in front of 

Stanley Burnell Burnell that night. night. It It lay, in beautifully basted basted resignation, on on a blue dish dish–its legs 

tied together with a piece ece of of string string and and a wreath of little balls balls of of stuffing stuffing round round it. 

It was hard hard to to say say which which of of the the two, two, Alice Alice or or the the duck, looked the the better basted; basted; they were 

both such such a a rich rich colour colour and and they they both both had had the the same same air air of of gloss gloss and and strain. But Alice was 

fiery red d and the duck a Spanish mahogany. 

Burnell ran his his eye along the edge of the carving knife. He He prided himself himself very very much 

much 

upon his carving, upon making a first-class first class job of it. He hated seeing a woman carve; 

they were always too slow and they never seemed tto 

o care what the meat looked like 

afterwards. Now he he did; he took took a a real real pride in in cutting cutting delicate shaves of cold beef, beef, little 

wads of mutton, mutton, just just the the right right thickness, thickness, and and in dividing dividing a a chicken chicken or a duck with nice 

precision . . . . 

"Is this the first of the he home products?" he asked, knowing knowing perfectly perfectly well well that it it was. 

"Yes, the butcher did did not not come. come. We have found out out that he he only calls calls twice a week." 

XI 


29

But there there was no need to apologise. It was a superb bird. It wasn't wasn't meat at at all, but but a a kind 

kind 

of very superior ior jelly. "My father father would say," said Burnell, "this must have been one of 

of 

those birds birds whose whose mother played to it in infancy upon upon the the German flute. And the sweet 

strains of the dulcet instrument acted with with such such effect upon the the infant mind . . . . . Have 

some more, ore, Beryl? Beryl? You You and and I I are are the the only only ones ones in in this this house with a a real real feeling for for food. 

I'm perfectly perfectly willing to state, in a court of law, if if necessary, that that I love good food." 

Tea was served in the drawing drawing-room, room, and Beryl, who for some reason had been very 

charming harming to to Stanley Stanley ever ever since since he he came home, home, suggested a game of crib. They sat sat at at a 

little table near one of the open windows. Mrs. Fairfield Fairfield disappeared, disappeared, and and Linda Linda lay in a 

rocking-chair, chair, her arms above her head, rocking to and fro. 

"You don't want the light ight–do do you, Linda?" said Beryl. She moved the tall lamp so that 

she sat under its soft light. 

How remote they they looked, those two, from where Linda sat sat and and rocked. rocked. The The green table, 

the polished cards, Stanley's big hands hands and and Beryl's Beryl's tiny tiny ones, ones, all seemed to t 

be part of one 

mysterious movement. movement. Stanley Stanley himself, big and solid, solid, in in his his dark dark suit, suit, took took his his ease, ease, and 

and 

Beryl tossed her her bright bright head head and pouted. pouted. Round Round her her throat throat she she wore wore an an unfamiliar unfamiliar velvet 

ribbon. It changed her, somehow somehow–altered the shape of her face–but but it was charming, 

Linda decided. decided. The room smelled of lilies; there were two two big jars of arums arums in the 

the 

fireplace. 

"Fifteen two–fifteen four– –and and a pair is six and a run of three is nine," said Stanley, so 

deliberately, he might have been counting sheep. 

"I've nothing but two pairs," said Beryl, exaggerating her woe because she she knew how how he 

loved winning. 

The cribbage cribbage pegs were like two little people people going going up the road road together, together, turning round 

round 

the sharp corner, and coming down the road again. They were purs pursuing uing each other. They 

did not so much want to get ahead as to keep near enough to talk talk–to to keep near, perhaps 

that was all. 

But no, there there was was always always one one who was impatient and and hopped away away as the other came up, 

up, 

and would not listen. Perhaps the white peg was frightened of the red one, or perhaps he 

was cruel and would not give the red one a chance to speak. . . . 

In the the front of her dress Beryl wore a bunch of of pansies, pansies, and once when the little pegs 

were side by side, she bent over and the pansies dropped out and covered them. 

"What a shame," said said she, picking up up the pansies. "Just as as they they had had a a chance chance to to fly fly into 

into 

each other's arms." 

"Farewell, my girl," laughed Stanley, and away the red peg hopped. 

The drawing-room room was long and narrow with glass doors that gave on to the veranda. It 

had a a cream cream paper with a pattern of gilt roses, and the the furniture, furniture, which which had had belonged belonged to 

to 


30

old Mrs. Fairfield, Fairfield, was was dark dark and plain. plain. A A little little piano stood against the the wall wall with yellow 

yellow 

pleated silk let into the carved front. Above it hung an oil painting by Beryl of a large 

cluster of surprised-looking looking clematis. clematis. Each Each flower was was the the size of a small saucer, with a 

a 

centre like like an an astonished astonished eye eye fringed fringed in in black. black. But But the the room room was was not not finished finished yet. Stanley 

had set his heart on a Chesterfiel Chesterfield d and two decent chairs. Linda liked it best as it was. . . . 

Two big moths flew in in through through the the window window and and round round and and round round the circle of lamplight. 

lamplight. 

"Fly away before it is too late. Fly out again." 

Round and round flew; they seemed to bring the silence aand 

nd the moonlight in with them 

on their silent wings. . . . 

"I've two kings," said Stanley. "Any good?" 

"Quite good," said Beryl. 

Linda stopped stopped rocking and got up. Stanley looked looked across. across. "Anything "Anything the the matter, matter, darling?" 

darling?" 

"No, nothing. I'm going to find mother." mo 

She went out out of of the the room room and and standing at at the the foot foot of of the stairs she called, called, but but her mother's 

mother's 

voice answered her from the veranda. 

The moon moon that Lottie and Kezia had had seen from the storeman's storeman's wagon was full, and the 

house, the garden, the old woman and Linda–all all were bathed in dazzling light. 

"I have been looking looking at the aloe," said Mrs. Mrs. Fairfield. Fairfield. "I "I believe believe it it is is going going to flower this 

this 

year. Look at the top there. Are those buds, or is it only only an effect of light?" 

As they stood on the steps, the high grassy bank on which the aloe rested rose up like a 

wave, and and the aloe seemed to ride upon it it like like a ship ship with the the oars lifted. Bright 

Bright 

moonlight hung upon the lifted oars like water, and and on the green wave wave glittered the the dew. 

dew. 

"Do you feel it, too," said Linda, and she spoke to her mother with the special voice that 

women use use at night to each other as though they spoke in their sleep or from some hollow 

hollow 

cave–"Don't "Don't you feel that it is coming towards us?" 

She dreamed that she was caught up out of the cold water into the ship with the lifted oars 

and the the budding budding mast. mast. Now the oars fell striking quickly, quickly. quickly. They They rowed rowed far far away 

over the the top of the garden garden trees, the paddocks and and the dark bush beyond. Ah, Ah, she she heard 

herself cry: "Faster! Faster!" to those wh who were rowing. 

How much more real real this this dream dream was than that they should go go back back to to the the house house where where the 

the 

sleeping children lay and where Stanley and Beryl played cribbage. 


31

"I believe those are buds," said she. she. "Let "Let us us go down down into into the the garden, garden, mother. I like like that 

aloe. I I like like it more more than than anything anything here. here. And And I am am sure sure I I shall shall remember it long after I've 

forgotten all the other things." 

She put her hand on on her mother's arm and they walked down the steps, round the the island 

island 

and on to the main drive that led to the th front gates. 

Looking at it it from from below she she could could see the the long long sharp thorns thorns that edged the aloe leaves, 

and at at the the sight sight of them them her her heart grew grew hard. hard. . . . . . . She She particularly particularly liked liked the the long sharp 

thorns. . . . Nobody would dare to come near the ship or to ffollow 

ollow after. 

"Not even even my my Newfoundland dog," thought she, she, "that I'm I'm so so fond fond of of in in the the daytime." 

daytime." 

For she she really really was was fond fond of him; she she loved and and admired admired and and respected him him tremendously. 

tremendously. 

Oh, better than anyone else in in the the world. world. She She knew him through and through. throu He was the 

soul of of truth and decency, and and for all his his practical experience he he was awfully awfully simple, 

simple, 

easily pleased and easily hurt. . . . 

If only he he wouldn't wouldn't jump jump at her her so, so, and and bark so so loudly, and watch her with with such eager, 

loving eyes. He was too strong for her; she had always hated things that rush at her, from 

a child. There were times when he was frightening–really frightening really frightening. When she just had 

not screamed at at the the top top of of her her voice: voice: "You "You are are killing me." me." And And at those times times she had 

had 

longed to say the most coarse, hateful things. . . . 

"You know I'm very delicate. delicate. You know know as well as as I I do do that my heart heart is is affected, and and the 

the 

doctor has has told you I may die any moment. I have had three great lumps of children 

already. . . . " 

Yes, yes, it was true. Linda ssnatched 

natched her hand from mother's arm. For all her love and 

respect and admiration she hated him. And And how how tender he he always always was was after after times times like 

like 

those, how submissive, how thoughtful. thoughtful. He He would would do anything for her; he longed to serve 

serve 

her. . . . Linda heard herself elf saying in a weak voice: 

"Stanley, would you light a candle?" 

And she heard his joyful voice answer: answer: "Of course course I will, my darling." darling." And And he leapt leapt out 

out 

of bed as though he were going to leap at the moon for her. 

It had never been so plain to her as it was as this moment. There were all her feelings for 

him, sharp and defined, one as true as as the the other. other. And And there there was this this other, other, this this hatred, hatred, just 

just 

as real as the rest. She She could could have have done done her her feelings up in little packets and and given given them them to 

to 

Stanley. She longed ed to to hand hand him him that that last one, for for a a surprise. surprise. She She could see his eyes as he 

opened that. . . . 

She hugged her her folded arms and and began began to to laugh laugh silently. How How absurd absurd life life was–it was was 

laughable, simply laughable. And why why this this mania mania of of hers to keep alive alive at at all? For it really 

was a mania, she thought, mocking and laughing. 


32

"What am I guarding myself for so preciously? I shall shall go go on having having children children and and Stanley 

Stanley 

will go on on making making money money and and the children children and and the the gardens gardens will grow bigger and and bigger, 

bigger, 

with whole fleets of f aloes in them for me to choose from." 

She had been walking walking with her her head head bent, bent, looking looking at at nothing. nothing. Now she looked up and 

about her. her. They were were standing standing by by the red red and and white white camellia trees. Beautiful were the 

the 

rich dark leaves spangled with light and the rround 

ound flowers that perch among them like red 

and white white birds. Linda pulled a piece of verbena and crumpled crumpled it, and held held her hands to 

her mother. 

"Delicious," said the old woman. "Are you cold, child? child? Are you trembling? Yes, Yes, your 

your 

hands are cold. We had bett better go back to the house." 

"What have you been thinking about?" said Linda. "Tell me." 

"I haven't really really been thinking of of anything. anything. I I wondered as as we passed passed the the orchard orchard what what the 

the 

fruit trees were like and whether we should should be be able to to make much much jam this this autu autumn. autu There 

are splendid splendid healthy currant bushes bushes in the vegetable garden. garden. I I noticed noticed them them to-day. to 

I 

should like like to to see those pantry shelves thoroughly thoroughly well well stocked stocked with with our own own jam. jam. . . . . . . " 

" 

"My Darling Nan, 

Don't think me a piggy wig because I haven't wr written itten before. I haven't had a moment, 

dear, and even now I feel so exhausted that I can hardly hold a pen. 

Well, the dreadful deed is done. We have actually left the the giddy whirl of town, and I can't 

see how we shall ever go back again, for my brother-in-law brother aw has bought this house 'lock, 

stock and barrel,' to use his own words. 

In a way, or course, it it is is an an awful awful relief, relief, for he he has been threatening threatening to to take a place in in the 

country ever since I've lived with them–and them and I must say the house and garden are awfully 

nice–a a million times better than that awful cubby cubby-hole in town. 

But buried, my dear. Buried isn't the word. 

XII 

We have got neighbours, but they are only farmers–big farmers big louts of boys who seem to be 

milking all day, and two dreadful females with rabbit teeth wh who o brought us some scones 

when we were were moving moving and and said said they they would would be be pleased pleased to to help. help. But But my my sister sister who lives lives a 

mile away doesn't know a a soul soul here, here, so so I I am sure we never shall. shall. It's pretty certain 

certain 

nobody will ever come out from town to see us, because thoug though h there is a bus it's an 

awful old rattling rattling thing thing with with black black leather sides sides that that any decent decent person person would would rather die 

than ride in for six miles. 

Such a life. It's a sad ending ending for for poor little little B. I'll get get to to be be a a most most awful awful frump frump in in a a year year or 

or 

two and come and d see you in a mackintosh and a a sailor hat tied on on with a a white white china silk 

silk 

motor veil. So pretty. 


33

Stanley says that now we are settled–for settled for after the most awful week of my life we really 

are settled–he he is going to bring out a couple of men from the club on Saturday afternoons 

for tennis. In fact, two are promised as a great treat to-day. to day. But, my dear, if you could see 

Stanley's men men from from the club . . . rather fattish, the type type who look frightfully frigh 

indecent 

without waistcoats–always always with toes that turn in rat rather–so so conspicuous when you are 

walking about a court in white white shoes. shoes. And And they they are pulling pulling up up their their trousers trousers every 

every 

minute–don't you know–and and whacking at imaginary things with their their rackets. 

rackets. 

I used to play with them at the club last summer, and I am sure you will know the type 

when I tell tell you you that after after I'd I'd been been there about about three times times they they all all called called me me Miss Beryl. 

It's a dreary world. Of course course mother simply loves loves the the place, place, but then I I suppose when I 

am mother's age I shall be content to sit in the sun an and d shell peas into a basin. But I'm 

not–not–not. 

What Linda Linda thinks thinks about about the the whole affair, per usual, I I haven't the the slightest idea. 

idea. 

Mysterious as ever. . . . 

My dear, you know that white satin dress of mine. I have taken the sleeves out out entirely, 

put bands s of of black velvet velvet across across the the shoulders and and two two big big red poppies poppies off off my my dear 

sister's chapeau. . It is a a great great success, though when I I shall shall wear wear it it I I do not not know." 

know." 

Beryl sat sat writing this this letter letter at at a a little little table table in in her room. room. In a way, of course, course, it was was all 

all 

perfectly rfectly true, true, but but in in another another way way it was was all all the greatest greatest rubbish and and she she didn't believe believe a 

word of of it. it. No, No, that wasn't true. She felt felt all those things, things, but but she didn't didn't really really feel feel them 

them 

like that. 

It was her other self who had written that letter. It not onl only y bored, it rather disgusted her 

real self. 

"Flippant and silly," said her real real self. self. Yet she she knew that she'd send it and she'd always 

write that kind of twaddle to Nan Pym. In fact, it it was a very mild example of of the the kind kind of 

letter she generally wrote. 

Beryl eryl leaned leaned her elbows on the table and read it through again. The The voice of of the letter 

letter 

seemed to to come come up up to to her from the page. It It was faint already, already, like like a a voice voice heard heard over over the 

the 

telephone, high, gushing, with something something bitter in in the sound. Oh, she detested detested it to-day. 

"You've always always got so much animation," said Nan Pym. "That's why why men are so keen keen on 

you." And And she she had added, added, rather rather mournfully, mournfully, for for men men were were not not at all keen on Nan, who 

was a solid kind of girl, with fat hips and a high colour colour–"I "I can't understa understand how you can 

keep it up. But it is your nature, I suppose." 

What rot. rot. What What nonsense. nonsense. It It wasn't wasn't her her nature nature at all. Good Good heavens, if she she had had ever been 

been 

her real self with with Nan Nan Pym, Nannie would would have jumped out out of of the window with surprise. 

. . . My dear, you know that white satin of mine. . . . Beryl slammed the letter letter-case to. 

She jumped up up and and half half unconsciously, unconsciously, half half consciously consciously she drifted over to to the the looking- 

looking 

glass. 


34

There stood a slim girl in white white–a a white serge skirt, a white silk blouse, and a leather belt 

drawn in very tightly at her tiny waist. 

Her face was heart-shaped, shaped, wide at the brows and with a pointed pointed chin–but chin 

not too 

pointed. Her Her eyes, eyes, her eyes were perhaps her best best feature; they were such such a a strange 

uncommon colour–greeny greeny blue with little gol gold points in them. 

She had fine black eyebrows and long lashes–so lashes so long, that when they lay on her cheeks 

you positively positively caught caught the light in in them, them, someone or other had told told her. 

Her mouth was rather large. Too large? No, not really. Her underlip protruded protruded a little; she 

had a a way of of sucking sucking it in that somebody else had told told her was awfully fascinating. 

fascinating. 

Her nose was was her her least least satisfactory satisfactory feature. feature. Not Not that it it was really ugly. But it it was was not not half 

half 

as fine as Linda's. Linda really had a perfect little nose. Hers spread rather rather–not badly. 

And in all probability she she exaggerated exaggerated the spreadiness of of it it just just because because it it was her nose, 

and she she was so awfully critical of herself. She She pinched pinched it it with with a a thumb thumb and and first first finger finger and 

and 

made a little face. . . . 

Lovely, lovely hair. r. And such a a mass mass of of it. it. It It had had the the colour colour of fresh fallen fallen leaves, leaves, brown 

and red red with with a a glint glint of of yellow. yellow. When When she she did did it in in a a long long plait she she felt it it on on her backbone 

like a long snake. She She loved loved to to feel the the weight weight of of it dragging her her head head back, and and she loved love 

to feel feel it loose, covering her her bare arms. arms. "Yes, "Yes, my my dear, there there is no no doubt about about it, you 

you 

really are a lovely little thing." 

At the words her bosom lifted; she she took a long breath breath of of delight, half half closing closing her eyes. 

But even as she looked the smile faded from her lips and eyes. Oh, God, there she was, 

back again, playing the same old game. False–false False false as ever. False as when she'd written 

to Nan Pym. False even when she was alone with herself, now. 

What had that creature in the glass to do with her, and why was she staring? She dropped 

down to one side of her bed and buried her face in her arms. 

"Oh," she cried, "I am so miserable–so miserable so frightfully miserable. I know that I'm silly and 

spiteful and and vain; vain; I'm I'm always acting a a part. I'm I'm never my my real real self self for for a a moment." m And 

plainly, plainly, plainly, she she saw saw her her false false self self running running up up and and down down the stairs, laughing a special 

trilling laugh if they had visitors, standing under the the lamp if a man came to dinner, so that 

he should see the light on her hair, pouting and pretendin pretending g to be a little girl when she was 

asked to to play the guitar. Why? She even kept it up for Stanley's benefit. benefit. Only Only last last night 

when he was was reading reading the paper her false false self had stood stood beside beside him and leaned leaned against against his 

his 

shoulder on purpose. ose. Hadn't she put her ha hand nd over his, pointing out something so that he 

should see how white her hand was beside his brown one. 

How despicable! Despicable! Her Her heart was cold with rage. "It's marvellous how you 

keep it up," said she to the false self. But then it was only because she was so miserable– miserable 

so miserable. If If she she had been been happy happy and and leading her her own own life, life, her false life would cease to 

be. She saw the real Beryl Beryl–a a shadow . . . a shadow. Faint and unsubstantial she shone. 


35

What was there of her except the radiance? And for what tiny moments she was really 

she. Beryl Beryl could could almost remember every one of them. At those times times she had felt: "Life is 

rich and mysterious mysterious and and good, good, and and I I am am rich rich and and mysterious mysterious and good, too." Shall I ever 

be that Beryl for ever? Shall I? How can I? And wwas 

as there ever a time when I did not 

have a a false false self? . . . . . But just as she had got got that far far she she heard heard the sound of little steps 

running along the passage; the door handle rattled. Kezia came in. 

"Aunt Beryl, mother says will you please come down? Father is home with a man and 

lunch is ready." 

Botheration! How How she had had crumpled crumpled her skirt, kneeling in that that idiotic way. 

"Very well, Kezia." She went over to the dressing-table dressing table and powdered her nose. 

Kezia crossed too, and unscrewed a little pot of cream and sniffed it. Under her arm she 

carried a very dirty calico cat. 

When Aunt Aunt Beryl Beryl ran out of the room she sat the cat up up on on the the dressing-table dressing and stuck 

the top of the cream jar over its ear. 

"Now look at yourself," she said sternly. 

The calico cat was so overcome by the sight that that it it toppled over backwards and and bumped 

bumped 

and bumped bumped on on to to the the floor. And And the the top top of of the the cream cream jar jar flew flew through the air and rolled 

like a penny in a round on the linoleum–and linoleum did not break. 

But for Kezia it had broken the moment it flew through the air, and she picked it up, hot 

all over, and put it back on the dressing-table. 

dressing 

Then she tiptoed away, far too quickly and airily. . . . 


36

Prelude - Katherine Mansfield Society

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