April 2008 Pride Letter - Northern Illinois University

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April is leslian Gay Bisexual lransuender
Awareness Month
'lr/ant to futow wfrat't froppening?
Cfiec{tfie hacffir a cafenfar of events!

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Prism, est. 1970: Northern Illinois University
Holmes Student Center, Room 707
DeKalb, IL 60115
(B1s) 7s3-0s84
Check us out at:
http : //www. niu prism. com
COPYRIGHT 2OO5
Unless othenuise noted, the contents of thle publication
are copyrighted by Prism, all rights reserued, 2006. The
Pride Letter is a publication of Prism of NlU. Fundln$ for
the printing has been provided by the NIU $tudent
Association. Prism and its events are opon to all.
Opinions expressed by authors in this lefter are not
necessarily those of Prism.
This Pride Letter was created by Christopher Weaver. Many thanks to all the
wonderful people who contributed!
l
I
t 1
Fun Times at the Big Queer Gonference
By: Lucy Andich
February 17-19 was the MBLGTACC (the Midwest Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay,
Transgender and Allies College Conference), which is known to many Prism
members as "the big gay conference". This year, the conference was hosted by the
University of South Dakota and took place at the Sioux Falls Convention Center. We
had 20 Prism members aftend the conference, which I believe was a record for us.
Prism paid for the transportation and hotel, and members only had to pay for food and
the cost of the conference. Four vehicles packed with twenty excited queers made
the eight hour journey across the Midwest to South Dakota in 3 degree weather.
Compared to the three other conferences I've attended, I would have to say
this one wasn't the best, but it's also far from the worst. lt was much more organized
than the conference last year in St. Cloud, Minnesota. About 800 LGBTQA students
from different colleges and universities in the Midwest attended this year. Along with
workshops during the day, there were two musicians, Deidre McCalla and Magdalen
Hsu-Li who performed over the weekend. Jade Esteban Estrada was another
performer who did a one-man show impersonating famous gay and lesbian icons
throughout history (you may remember him from LGBT History month in October
when he performed at NIU). Of these three performancesr Magdalen's show was an
explosive political extravaganza that the crowd absolutely loved. Deidre was amazing
on the guitar, but the overall performance was a bit dry, with the crowd seeming quite
bored. I can't really comment on Jade's performance because I didn't attend it.
However, when he performed at NlU, although the show was quite humorous, some
of the impersonations could have been done in a more-tasteful manner.
The keynote speaker for the weekend was Jon Hoadley, a graduate of the
University of South Dakota. Although I didn't attend, I was told his speech was about
LGBT political initiatives in the state of South Dakota. This news was disappointing to
me, because the keynote speaker should speak on issues relevant to LGBTQ
students in the entire Midwest and not just the state in which he or she is speaking in.
Friday night there was a drag show which was fabulous. One drag queen in
particular had so much energy and was doing all kinds of acrobatic moves on stage.
The crowd was loving it, and needless to say, she got lots of dollars that night. I was
pleasantly surprised that, along with about 4 different drag queens, a drag king
performed as well. Although he was new to the game and basically just up there
collecting dollars from all the swooning lesbians, he was fun to look at. The Saturday
night entertainment included a dance that is held every year. Fun times!!!
Throughout the conference there were several workshops to choose from on
a wide variety of topics. lt's always difficult to decide which workshops to attend
because there are so many interesting ones. This year, the workshops explored
issues of race, class and gender in the LGBT community, seeing though the eyes of
an ally, a discussion with a transgender librarian, religion and spirituality in the LGBT
community, sex, bisexuality, organizing your LGBT group, masculinity, healthy
relationships, and how the tobacco industry targets LGBT individuals, just to name a
few. Last year I attended a couple of workshops where either the facilitator was late
or didn't show up at all. This year, all the workshops were very organized and
informative (for the most part).
As always, Prism members had a good time in the hotel rooms despite one
noise complaint late Saturday night. Overall, I would give this conference a 7 out of
10. I can't wait for the conference next year at the University of Minnesota in the twin
cities. Oh yeeeeeah!

I had 79 cents in the drawer,
I just can't give you change
By Justin Difazzio
You asked for a quarter so I could find Jesus.
I had 54 cents in the drawer.
You asked for a nickel so I could have a haircut.
I had 49 cents in the drawer.
You asked for two nickels so I could swallow my pride.
I had 39 cents in the drawer.
You asked for another dime so I could learn to speak in public.
I had 29 cents in the drawer.
You asked for eight pennies so I could get some new clothes.
I had 21 cents in the drawer.
You asked for another quarter so I could love a woman.
l'm sorry. I just can't give you change.
The Eminence of Equality
By Hilary Kowalski
Equality can be achieved when we indeed find the nature within ourselves to
compliment one another and allow ourselves to be able to share the diversity
within us all that will enable us to expand our minds to become aware and
tolerant of the endless number of human beings within our world. It is within
this knowledge that we achieve true power and control of ourselves because
we can use love as a weapon of peace to conquer fear and abolish
ignorance so we can understand how to respect one another. When we can
respect one another, we feel the comfort to truly be ourselves which will
allow us to embrace who we are and our divine sense of life's purpose inside
all of us.
When we learn about one another, we can respect one another. When we can
understand one another, we can accept one another. When we can accept one
another, we can then love one another. Let's leam to love one another.
Creatively Queer Week
By Andrea Drott
Once upon a lime, there lived two strong, compassionate, and rambunctious young people named lrit
and Jacinh. These two friends spent heir days swinging from ropes into sparkling lakes, digging ditches in the sand
that stretched all the way to he YangEe Fiver Valley, choreographing dance routines to lhe hits of the 80's in sparkly
spangles, and stacking abandoned refrigerators (without the doom, or course) to build temporary shelters for
exhausted caregivers of strong, compassionate, and nmbunc$ous young people. Jacinta and lrit always have
extraordinary fun.
Although the two of them had a blast together, they tended to dabble in more ehbonte poiecb that
required he participation of other friends as well. For insbne, they would spend the weekdays teaching he rest of
the neighbofiood young folk he aforementioned dance rcutines and lhen would all perform hem on Sundays for a
demanding public. People from as far as 102 blocks away would mount their bikes, trikes, scooters, skateboards,
roller-skates, unicycles, and gocarts just to make it for the widely acclaimed show. Once their friends Keetin, Momo
and Zuri caught wind of these shows, they would bounce their pogo sticks through fields of rhubarb and thick patches
of cantaloupe just to be part of it all.
As much enjoyment as the young folk found in such gatherings, there were grown-ups who were doubtful
and wary of certain aspec{s of the performances. lrit and Jacinta were thought to be bad influences on he boys
because they hryht lhem how to twirl and wear pink eye shadow. They were also trought to be negatively
influencing the girls because they taught hem hor to use a power drill and consfuct large stages. This was very
mnfusing to Jacinh and ldt who saw that heir friends Makai and Joon were naturally skilled with pourer tools. And
heir friends Rahel and Chen dll especially gnand pirouette in hot pink and mustard yellow tutus,
There were other ways in which the young people and older people were sometimes at odds with one
anolher. One day while phying in he park, their friends Tae and Silvani decided to nce to the tire swings. While
running, Tae tripped over a huge watermelon right in the middle of the path, scraped his knee and began to cry. Tae's
parenb, immediately tuming around at the sound of thek son's loud cries, rushed over to the scene. When they got
there, hey picked him finnly off the ground and said to him "toughen up, its just a scrape, BOYS DON'T CRY."
Now his troubled Silvani greatly and she know at once lhat she must say something. She took a deep
breath and said firmly'Exorse me, but I happen to know hat its very healhy for all people to express everyone of
thek emotions which means: BOYS DO CRY!!!'
It was almost as if light bulbs went on over Tae's parents' heads, They got it. They really did. They held
Tae close and he cried. They thanked Silvani for her wise words. Now, Jacinta and lrit happened to be at the park
that day and saw this whole scene from he top of the monkey ban. They started clapping so hard they almost lost
their balance. Almost, but not quite. They later went home to organize a special celebration in honor of their penonal
heo of the day, Silvani. To honor her, they read a poem lhal seemed to help everyone feel less bogged dom by the
grorvn+ps who were trying to mold them into dainty young ladies and rugged young men. This is the pem they read:
For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, lhere is a boy who is tired of appearing strong when he
feels vulnerable.
For every girl who is tired of people not trusting her intelligence, there is a boy who is burdened with the constant
expectation of knowing everything.
For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who is denied the right to be gentle and weep.
For every girl who is called unfeminine when she competes, there is a boy for whom competition is the only way to
prove his masculinity.
For every girl who throws hut her E-Z-Bake Oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one.
For every girl who bkes a step loward her liberation, there is a boy who linds the way to freedom has been made a
little easier.
After reading this poem and honoring Silvani and eating canot cake, lrit and Jacinh rested a bit because
of such a long day, So, the next day when the heat was much too oppressive to dig ditches and was making tfreir
sparkly spangles stick to their tummies, lril and Jacinta decided to hke action against all lhe rigid gender roles that
had been unwillingly placed upon hem and their friends. They got out all the marken, crayons, pens, pencib. And
scbsots hey muld fnd and created a mloring book lhatwould help everyone realize that il is in all our natures to be
gentle, brazen, vulnenable, counageous, and emotional, no matter what gender we are. They created a mloring book
hat makes it pefec$y sensible b color oubide the lines.
May 14 ,8am-4:30pm , in lhe LGBT Resource Center
Come color these amazing gender bending coloring books for Creatively Queer week

Upper Left: Monica Taylor and Christopher Weaver
enjoy a garne of LIFE at Garne Night during one of the
Community Gatherings. Community Gatherings are
held every other Wednesday.
Lower Left: Phil Engleking steals the limelight at
Queeraoke! both by running the event and performing
at it. Free to the public, like most of Prism's events,
Queeraoke! is held once a month.
Above: People let loose and dance to their favorite
songs at Prism's monthly dance. For only $5 and a
valid form of ID, those who are 18 or older, as well as
NIU students, can enjoy great rnusic, snacks, and
refreshments. Alcoholic beverages are also served to
those zr and over, with carding strictly enforced.

Itis Midnight
ByJustin Difazzio
It is midnight, and I sit here in the semi-darkness of my toom
cautiously sipping my steaming cup of decaf Chamomile tea that real tea
drinkets would scoff at. Itts not the tea they would scoff at so much as the sugat
content. I'm not one for naked tea. I need sug4r to make it palatable.
Otherwise, it ends up tasting to me of old water mixed with ashes and flowet
petals. Maybe this is why I don't feel like an actual tea drinket.
This feeling of not being a teal fill-in-the-blank filtets down from some
neurosis (as Freud would call it, not that I'm an advocate of Freud-Itm iust an
advocate of precise words, and this seems like the one to go hete, psychiatric
endorsement or not) which I am altogether unprepared to unearth. Somewhere
in my subconscious thete is a child who doesntt feel like he's a real fill-in-theblank
because someone (my father, most likely) told him that in otder to be a
teal fill-in-the-blank, you had to fit into some ddiculous criteria that someone
else set forth fot you. It most likely had to do with not taking something iust as
it was given to you, in its taw forn, because you didn,t cate for it that way.
Hence the "I'm-not-a-teal-tea-drinker-because-I-add-sugat
t complex.
This overatching mentality filters thtough my wodd and undermines my
identity in a vadety of ateas.
I'm not a teal writer because I am, as of yet, unpublished (unless you
ate teading this, then move on). Real wtitets have their names on books on the
bookshelf in a chain bookstote somewhete. Fotget the fact that I have ovet 600
pages wdtten in my iournal in seven different volumes or that I have completed
shott stodes and news stories (which dontt count because they were eithet a one
time shot at a big paper or the result of a position on the newspaper staff in
community college) and poetry and have kept a blog for years. Fotget all of that.
Itm not a real writet because I have never met myself in the bookstote, smiling
ftom the back covet of my newest novel where I tlive in Jllinois with a steady
boyfriend and hope to leave it somedaytt (the state, not the boyftiend, although
that temains to be seen).
I am not a real Christian because I believe in equality in telationships
whethet the partners ate of the same or of diffedng sex. Because of this belief, I
cannot love the God that churchgoerc love ot wotship the Spitit that millions of
people across the country and around the wotld wotship. Fotget the fact that I
have been through my Bible more times than a lot of them and the fact that I
have claimed their coveted savior as my own. That doesn't matter. I am still
destined fot a well-cooked aftetlife with my partner because I am not a real
Christian.
I am not a teal photogtaphet because I own only one sotry excuse fot a
cameta, and I dontt know anything about camera tetminology, shuttet speed,
focal lengths, flash brightness, or fitm. I take digital photos of things I think als
beautiful or interesting. I share them with friends. I dontt print them ot ftame
them ot exhibit them in shows ot magazines. I post them in a diminished digital
size on my weblog for people to squint at, ooh, and ahh. But I have nevet been
paid for my photogtaphs that I take on my single tiny little handheld, portable,
novice cameta. Hence, I am not a real photogmpher. But I have never been
paid for my photographs that I take on my single tiny little handheld, pottable,
novice cameta. Hence, I am not a real photogtapher.
I am also not a teal man. Although I have the requisite bits tequired fot
a physiciants dectee of manhood, this isn't good enough. I dontt spend my
Sundays watching football ot mowing the yard. I would mther drift through an
art gallery and absotb cultute in both the exhibits and the people around me
than cook a latge piece of meat over a fire in my back yard. I would take a book
to a sporting event so the event was not a total loss. If that isntt enough to
disqualiS me ftom ftue manhood, I also shate my bed with a man. This
automatically disqualifies me (and him, as well) from being a man.
One might detect a hint of defiance directed toward this idea. That is
because the mote I notice it, the more I see how it limits my perceptions of
myself and my confidence in who I am as a writer, a Chdstian, a photographer, a
man, and any number of hats I might choose to wear or be handed without
consenq the mote I see this idea that iust because I don't live up to the criteria
that someone who came before me laid down fot followets to live up to, the mote
that I tealize that this is a steaming load of fill-in-the-blank.
What makes someone the authotity or the measuring stick for anyone
else who might walk a similat path as theirs at alatet date just because they were
the bricklayer? I think that we, societally, have an obsession with firsts. When
someone is first in our cultute, they ate assumed to have innate expertise iust
because they were firct. Why must eveqyone who follows match their stdde?
Thete is no more merit in being first in many situations as thete is in being
second ot fifteenth ot last (obviously this doesn't apply to many forms of racing,
hence the qualifiet "many situations").
I can be the thousandth person to photogtaph the tiered southern
decadence of Galena, Illinois. Just because I dontt ptint ot publish the photos I
take of the old Episcopal church with the tuffet-style bell tower ot the stone
staitcase that descends ftom someonets backyatd down into the street doesntt
mean I am any less of a photographet than they ate.
I can believe diffetently than eighty percent of people out there, and
there is nothing to suggest that I am not a teal Chdstian aside from the people
who feel the need to make everyone match their stride on their path in their
thythm.
. I can shate my bed with whomever I please and still be a teal man.
Trust mel you wouldn't want me to prove it to you unless you were looking for a
reason to be kept up at night.
And the fact that this piece of writing exists, whether it is evet published
ot not, proves that I am a wdtet, a real wtiter.
Now, I have to go get another spoonful of sugar for my tea.

Notuense l,lorfs
E1 Justin Difazzio
A familiar scent
Sent me hurtling-
Not to a far away place,
But to Christmas,2004.
You walked ahead of me,
Absentmindedly browsing
Trying to find a gift.
I walked behind,
Nose in the air.
There it was--
And again.
That scent.
I never realizedthat--
That it would stick in my head
Forever.
It kept me awake,
Lonely,
When I wanted sleep--
Oblivion.
Dreams.
But not ofyou.
I smelled it today,
I lost track of change--
Had to count it twice.
Still got it wrong.
All I could think about
Was what you told me,
Those nonsense words--
I bought them,
Breathed deep in them,
Will always remember them:
"I love you."
Did you know that...
FACTS ABOUT SAME-SEX MARRIAGES
By Hillary Kowalski
-The certification of marriage provides over 1,049 state and federal
rights, including essential health and insurance benefits that most
families need.
-With Massachusetts as the only state that issues actual marriage
licenses to gay and lesbian couples.
-47% of American citizens in 2005 are aginast the opposition of samesex
maniage as opposed to the 32Yowho were for same-sex marriage
in2004.
-49 o/o of American Citizens in 2006 are agianst the opposition of gay
marriage, while only 37o/o were for same-sex marriage in2004
according to the poll by the Pew Research Center for the People and
the Press found.
-Proposed state constitutional admendments banning the recognition of
same-sex couples and limiting other forms of relationship recognition
in 8 different states, are being voted on this year. In 8 other states,
similar admendments banning same-sex couple recognition are now
awaiting to be approved by legislaters.
-Same-sex maffiage is legal in Belgium, Canada, The Netherlands, and
Spain and at the end of this calander year, South Africa will offically
allow same-sex couples to marry.
Sources:
http://www.hrc.ors
http ://www. fr eedomtomarry. orq

April3 Ally Awards Reception
2-4PM, Diversions Lounge, HSC (Holmes Student Center)
April5 Queeraoke!
BPM, Diversionslounge, HSC
April 12 Prism Community Gathering
9PM, New Orleans Room, Stevenson C-Tower basement
April 13 Taboo Topics Discussion Series: Relationship Violence in
the LGBT Community
9PM, Room 305, HSC
April 17 Deadline to buy Eychaner Award Dinner tickets
$3 NIU students, $8 general public
LGBT Resource Center, /n Floor, HSC
815-753-LGBT
April 19 Prism Movie and Discussion Night: RENT
8:30PM, United Campus Miniestries
April20 LGBT Studies Third Thursday Series
"Officer Friendly" and 6'Tough Cops": Gay and Lesbian
Police Officers
Noon, HSC Blackhawk East
Bring your own lunch or purchase it there.
April2l Prism Dance
|0PM-I:30AM, Best Western Inn and Suites
$5 admission. Must be 18 or older, or an NIU student to
attend. Must be 2l or older to purchase or consurne alcohol
(strictly enforced). ID REOUIRED!
April26 National Day of Silence
All day
Night of Noise
9PM, East Lagoon
For more information, call Prism at 8/,5-753-0584.
April 28 Twelfth Annual Eychaner Award Dinner Banquet
6:30PM, Chandelier Room, Adams Hall
Calt 815-753-LGBT by Aprit llh to purchase tickets
April 29 Tenth Annual Gay Jam!
7PM, Diversions Lounge, HSC
May l-4 Creatively Queer: Color it Queer Week!
10AM-4:30PM, LGBT Resource Center, Room 706, HSC
M:ay 2 Alix Olson, sponsored by Prism and Unity in Diversity
Steering Committee
8 : 30PM, Carl Sandburg Auditorium, HSC
All programs are open to the public and free of charge unless otherwise designated