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Wojahn Weldon Kees in Mexico, 1965 - Columbia: A Journal of ...

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<strong>Wojahn</strong><br />

<strong>Weldon</strong> <strong>Kees</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>Mexico</strong>, <strong>1965</strong><br />

Even<strong>in</strong>gs below my w<strong>in</strong>dow<br />

the Sisters <strong>of</strong> the convent <strong>of</strong> Sa<strong>in</strong>t Teresa<br />

carry brown jugs <strong>of</strong> water from a well<br />

beyond a dry wash called Mostrenco.<br />

Today it was hard to waken<br />

and I've been dead to the world for ten years.<br />

They tread the narrow footbridge<br />

made <strong>of</strong> v<strong>in</strong>es and wooden planks, sandals click<strong>in</strong>g:<br />

brown beads and white crosses<br />

between hands that are also brown.<br />

Over the bridge they travel <strong>in</strong> a white-robed l<strong>in</strong>e<br />

like <strong>in</strong>nocent nurses to a field hospital.<br />

Exactly ten. I've marked it on the calendar.<br />

Maria, who speaks no English,<br />

is soap<strong>in</strong>g her dark breasts by the washstand.<br />

'Yesterday she said<br />

she'd like to be a pa<strong>in</strong>ter and sketched<br />

on the back <strong>of</strong> a soiled napk<strong>in</strong>,<br />

a rendition <strong>of</strong> a cholla —<br />

with her lipstick. And laughed,<br />

then drew below each nipple<br />

a smudged rose. <strong>Weldon</strong><br />

would have been repelled<br />

Und fasc<strong>in</strong>ated, but <strong>Weldon</strong> is dead;<br />

I watched him fall to the waves


<strong>Wojahn</strong><br />

<strong>of</strong> the bay, the twelfth suicide that summer.<br />

He would have been fifty-one this year,<br />

my age exactly, and an ag<strong>in</strong>g man.<br />

Still, he would not be a fool<br />

<strong>in</strong> a poor adobe house, unw<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g<br />

a spool <strong>of</strong> flypaper from a hook<br />

above the head <strong>of</strong> his child bride.<br />

When she asks my name, I tell her<br />

I am Richard, a good Midwestern sound.<br />

She th<strong>in</strong>ks Nebraska is a k<strong>in</strong>gdom<br />

near Peru, and I<br />

the exiled Crown Pr<strong>in</strong>ce <strong>of</strong> Omaha.<br />

I've promised to buy her a box <strong>of</strong> pa<strong>in</strong>ts<br />

<strong>in</strong> a shop by my palace <strong>in</strong> L<strong>in</strong>coln.<br />

We'll go back, Maria and I,<br />

with the little Sisters <strong>of</strong> Sa<strong>in</strong>t Teresa<br />

who are just now walk<strong>in</strong>g across the bridge<br />

for water to be blessed at vespers.<br />

Frederick Busch<br />

The Right Address<br />

Idelivered Lenny just as I delivered a hundred or more pieces<br />

<strong>of</strong> mail dur<strong>in</strong>g the war. And I sent the letter that brought<br />

him <strong>in</strong>to mourn<strong>in</strong>g and risk. I wrote it care <strong>of</strong> the school <strong>in</strong><br />

Rome, say<strong>in</strong>g that when our Opel hit the doe, the deer stood<br />

still and the car ricocheted <strong>of</strong>f the road, then across it, and up an<br />

<strong>in</strong>cl<strong>in</strong>e <strong>of</strong> shale. We rolled back, I told him, and then we stopped,<br />

and I was certa<strong>in</strong> that before I fa<strong>in</strong>ted I saw the bone <strong>of</strong> Ariana's<br />

forearm slide through her flannel sleeve.<br />

Lenny Lev<strong>in</strong>e, <strong>in</strong> 1971, was teach<strong>in</strong>g American servicemen's<br />

children abroad because his country had tried to draft him twice,<br />

before he took up teach<strong>in</strong>g and was therefore classified "Essential"<br />

to the national effort. I knew that if he came home he<br />

would <strong>in</strong>vite conscription. But I sent the letter, and five weeks<br />

later he flew from Rome to Boston, rode the bus to Montpelier,<br />

Vermont, saw me <strong>in</strong> the Trailways wait<strong>in</strong>g room and butted me<br />

<strong>in</strong> the chest. Weep<strong>in</strong>g, he said, "I'm here. I'm here."<br />

He wept aga<strong>in</strong>, as I drove us <strong>in</strong> my Volkswagen bus, and he<br />

sniffled at the end <strong>of</strong> the drive, outside Benn<strong>in</strong>gton, at the house<br />

Ariana had bought for us after her mother drowned <strong>of</strong>f Providence,<br />

drunk on white burgundy and widowhood. I fried old ham<br />

and poured neat whisky for us <strong>in</strong> the damp kitchen. Lenny was<br />

lett<strong>in</strong>g his whiskers grow aga<strong>in</strong>; his pale face was framed as if <strong>in</strong><br />

a locket by the sparse red hair and beard. In his greasy suede<br />

sportcoat, he slouched <strong>in</strong> a chair and studied the room, and I<br />

knew he was th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g that if the lights were brighter, he would<br />

see the old canisters Ariana had bought, and the William Morris<br />

wallpaper, the stripped chairs she'd ref<strong>in</strong>ished. Lenny wore the<br />

dimness <strong>of</strong> the room like a quilt, he pulled it upon himself as he<br />

leaned one shoulder at the wall and huddled, peered.<br />

And then as I served us he chattered — because, I guessed.<br />

!• T W\


Busch<br />

he was frightened <strong>of</strong> what he had done, <strong>of</strong> how much safety<br />

he'd renounced, <strong>of</strong> what emotions I'd require. He talked about<br />

Italian girlfriends and war-lov<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>ficers and nuclear artillery<br />

shells and his trip to Venice. "There was this boatload <strong>of</strong> German<br />

tourists on Murano," he told me. "They all marched <strong>in</strong>to<br />

one <strong>of</strong> the fornaci, one <strong>of</strong> the factories where they blow the<br />

glass? I'm stand<strong>in</strong>g there with them, we're all l<strong>in</strong>ed up on a k<strong>in</strong>d<br />

<strong>of</strong> bleacher, three tiers <strong>of</strong> steps, and this sweaty little guy opens<br />

one <strong>of</strong> the ovens — I didn't know they were Germans, did I say<br />

that? So he opens the furnace door and all this heat comes out.<br />

There are these middle-aged people around me <strong>in</strong> very good<br />

lightweight tweeds, and when the oven door opens up, they<br />

sigh. They love it! And I'm stand<strong>in</strong>g with them, and they're moan<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

German tourists always moan when they appreciate someth<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

And all <strong>of</strong> a sudden I th<strong>in</strong>k, wait a m<strong>in</strong>ute, hold it; all<br />

these people are swoon<strong>in</strong>g for an oven. They have to be Germans.<br />

And they had to be there when it happened. They damned<br />

well probably were there. Now, I knew they weren't about to pick<br />

me up and put me <strong>in</strong> the oven — "<br />

"Alice <strong>in</strong> Wonderland," I said.<br />

"What?"<br />

"No, I meant — which one is that? Hansel and Gretel, I<br />

guess. Is that what I meant?"<br />

"What you meant was I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you a lot <strong>of</strong> stories because<br />

I'm afraid you're about to tell me someth<strong>in</strong>g about Ariana."<br />

"More ham?"<br />

"No, no more. More whisky."<br />

"I don't th<strong>in</strong>k so," I said. Not for me. I want to drive tomorrow.<br />

Are you com<strong>in</strong>g with me?"<br />

"Sure. Yes. That's why I'm here."<br />

I was clean<strong>in</strong>g my nails with a par<strong>in</strong>g knife. I looked past<br />

Lenny, along the wall at which he leaned. Lenny turned to look<br />

there, but he could see just a pair <strong>of</strong> muddy black boots, a long<br />

propped shotgun, a corner. "You're here because <strong>of</strong> Ariana," I<br />

said.<br />

"Where are we driv<strong>in</strong>g?"<br />

10<br />

The Right Address<br />

"I've been do<strong>in</strong>g mail runs," I told him. "I go up to Montreal,<br />

sometimes other places. I did Toronto once. I take letters from<br />

people <strong>in</strong> the States. I deliver them to people who didn't want to<br />

get drafted. And then I take mail back. I take it <strong>in</strong>to Vermont,<br />

New York, sometimes New York City. Sometimes I drive to<br />

Boston. Tomorrow I'm go<strong>in</strong>g to Utica, some towns near there.<br />

Would you like to come?"<br />

"That's why I'm back, Bill."<br />

"No it isn't, dammit. Now I want you to tell me the truth."<br />

"But why?"<br />

"Why?" My anger made me feel that if I took a breath and<br />

bellowed, I would say someth<strong>in</strong>g pivotal and salient. But I had so<br />

little to say. And this was my friend, I told myself. This was my<br />

friend; I wanted to tell him I remembered that. And I wanted to<br />

hit him, then. I stood, and I was much bigger than he whether I<br />

stood or sat. I decided to at least tower. And f<strong>in</strong>ally I poured<br />

more whisky for him and said, "F<strong>in</strong>d a bed, Lenny. I'll wake us<br />

up."<br />

"I thought maybe we'd talk a little," he said.<br />

I shook my head. "We did."<br />

So he gave up, f<strong>in</strong>ished his whisky and asked, "Any room's<br />

okay?"<br />

That was a question I'd been wait<strong>in</strong>g for. I took considerable<br />

pleasure <strong>in</strong> say<strong>in</strong>g, "Ariana was sleep<strong>in</strong>g upstairs <strong>in</strong> the<br />

little room, the second door on the right. You're welcome to it."<br />

I enjoyed his silence, and then his little syllable: "Bill?"<br />

"Lenny, goodnight."<br />

But he persevered, and he fooled me. "It was someth<strong>in</strong>g I<br />

used to teach the seniors. Chekhov said, if there's a shotgun at<br />

the beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a story, you should make sure it gets fired by<br />

the end. You remember that?"<br />

"You duck out <strong>of</strong> the army, and all those cannons, Lenny,<br />

and you end up teach<strong>in</strong>g children about shoot<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f shotguns?"<br />

"It's about story-tell<strong>in</strong>g," he said. He looked so dirty <strong>in</strong> that<br />

suede coat, so sparsely haired, so like a gosl<strong>in</strong>g, so lonely <strong>in</strong> a<br />

kitchen he had known at other, brighter, times, that I wanted<br />

suddenly to talk about college and the years afterward <strong>in</strong> New<br />

York, and our long silly drunken conversations, our truer sober<br />

i<br />

11<br />

Hffll


1<br />

Busch<br />

ones. But <strong>in</strong>stead I moved toward the kitchen door and put my<br />

hands above its frame, lean<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> at him, but stay<strong>in</strong>g away I<br />

said, "You do keep on not tell<strong>in</strong>g me what you're tell<strong>in</strong>g me "<br />

Lenny closed his eyes as if he were a stutterer who had to<br />

measure out sound. "Don't do anyth<strong>in</strong>g rash," he said.<br />

That was Lenny: words, little wisdoms, the fear<strong>in</strong>g for the<br />

worst. I heard myself say with great calm, "I had a concussion. I<br />

wasn't conscious. I couldn't tell them. She was out too. Nobody<br />

knew. The bone tore through the sk<strong>in</strong>. They were afraid <strong>of</strong><br />

<strong>in</strong>fection. They gave her a lot <strong>of</strong> penicill<strong>in</strong>. She's allergic to it. I<br />

could have told them. They didn't wake me up to ask. She's<br />

allergic to penicill<strong>in</strong> and she had a reaction. So she died. Her<br />

throat closed. Everyth<strong>in</strong>g closed. Now: you th<strong>in</strong>k, is this it? You<br />

th<strong>in</strong>k I'm go<strong>in</strong>g to take a breech-blocked shotgun that's fifty<br />

years old and put it <strong>in</strong> my mouth and try blow<strong>in</strong>g my bra<strong>in</strong>s out<br />

on account <strong>of</strong> a woman's secret allergy?"<br />

Lenny was pant<strong>in</strong>g as if he had run up the stairs. "I'd consider<br />

it," he said.<br />

"Maybe that's why we're here. Because I know that you<br />

would," I lied. "Would you go to bed now, please? And stop<br />

tell<strong>in</strong>g me Russian stories and German stories and Italian stories<br />

and fairytales and lies?"<br />

It was supposed to be my time <strong>of</strong> griev<strong>in</strong>g, just slightly his,<br />

and we were supposed to understand that and not talk about<br />

what we understood, so he rose and walked to me and squeezed<br />

my arm, and I squeezed his, and then he went up. I knew what<br />

he would do — turn on the lamp <strong>in</strong> the room she'd been us<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

and see the mattress on the floor, its sheets and blankets mounded,<br />

and see no clothes <strong>in</strong> the closet, and see no pictures on the<br />

walls, and no sign <strong>of</strong> Ariana or anyone else. He would stand <strong>in</strong><br />

the room that was abandoned and he would fear to lie on the<br />

mattress. I went upstairs and got <strong>in</strong>to the bed we'd moved from<br />

New York <strong>in</strong> a rented truck, years before. I heard him walk s<strong>of</strong>tly<br />

downstairs to sleep on the liv<strong>in</strong>g room s<strong>of</strong>a. I knew he'd pause on<br />

his way, and stare <strong>in</strong> the darkened kitchen at the shotgun I<br />

would never use. And that was Lenny: he was the man who<br />

<strong>in</strong>dicted me — the man whose <strong>in</strong>dictment I nearly wanted to<br />

12<br />

The Right Address<br />

share — for hav<strong>in</strong>g no desire to load a gun and suck on the<br />

muzzle and make my story neat.<br />

The weather was good for driv<strong>in</strong>g — a low, overcast sky<br />

with little glare on the Albany Northway and New York 20 —<br />

and the driv<strong>in</strong>g was simple and fast. In a New York town called<br />

Schuylerville, we delivered a letter addressed <strong>in</strong> a hand so looped<br />

and dark with effort, we both expected hysterics from the addressee,<br />

Mrs. Adolph Yoder. But she smiled and shook her head,<br />

as if her hidden-out son were a naughty fourth-grader, and<br />

before she read the letter, she served us iced Kool-Aid. "Isn't<br />

this war confus<strong>in</strong>g?" she crooned. At a house on a hill outside<br />

Cooperstown, we slid a letter underneath a door. Circl<strong>in</strong>g back<br />

to Route 20, near an abandoned gas station, at what used to be a<br />

d<strong>in</strong>er, we presented, to a very old unshaven man who chewed<br />

tobacco and didn't speak, three envelopes, numbered <strong>in</strong> sequence<br />

and held together with a h<strong>in</strong>ge <strong>of</strong> mask<strong>in</strong>g tape.<br />

We drove as far south as Norwich on Routes 12B and 12,<br />

stopp<strong>in</strong>g at Deansboro and Madison, where a short woman <strong>in</strong> a<br />

trailer park turned her back and told us to leave the letter <strong>in</strong> the<br />

mailbox outside her mobile home. She said, look<strong>in</strong>g away, "You'd<br />

th<strong>in</strong>k grown men would have a regular job."<br />

Between deliveries, we stopped at bars, eat<strong>in</strong>g kielbas and<br />

pickled eggs and dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g beer, fill<strong>in</strong>g ourselves each time as if<br />

we hadn't stopped before, as if we had performed manual labor<br />

and were emptied. We were driv<strong>in</strong>g north aga<strong>in</strong> when it was<br />

well past dark, and Lenny had told his stories about Salerno and<br />

Lake Como and Rome, and I had told a number <strong>of</strong> stories about<br />

how Ariana had paid for the house and we had lived there, as he<br />

knew on her mother's money, one year rais<strong>in</strong>g two pigs and<br />

kill<strong>in</strong>g them, thereafter plant<strong>in</strong>g a garden each year but keep<strong>in</strong>g<br />

no stock.<br />

On Route 20, outside Madison, I turned onto 12B, and<br />

Lenny said, "That leaves the big envelope for Cl<strong>in</strong>ton."<br />

I said, "That's the last one. But first we pause for replenishment."<br />

13


Busch<br />

"We just did that. Bill."<br />

"I want us to wait a while for the Cl<strong>in</strong>ton delivery. The<br />

woman we're deliver<strong>in</strong>g to doesn't always get home until later<br />

on."<br />

"That's custom-tailored service."<br />

"Service is service," I said.<br />

So we stopped <strong>in</strong> a town called Oriskany Falls, a large crossroads<br />

l<strong>in</strong>ed with shabby small houses that were close together,<br />

many for sale. A long high factory sat on a river that ran through<br />

the town, and its open w<strong>in</strong>dows let out light and the surf-sound<br />

<strong>of</strong> mach<strong>in</strong>es. The street lamps, <strong>in</strong>stead <strong>of</strong> sh<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g the blue-green<br />

radiance <strong>of</strong> highway lamps, cast a hard brown-yellow glare, and<br />

Oriskany Falls was an old t<strong>in</strong>ted photograph at night. Men on the<br />

street wore white undershirts and stared. The women we saw<br />

looked older than the men, but not as old as their children.<br />

At the clapboard Antique Mirror Bar, the only function<strong>in</strong>g<br />

part <strong>of</strong> a closed hotel, we parked the van and walked on stiff legs<br />

with tight necks. Inside, we drank beer <strong>in</strong> a booth across the<br />

large room from an ord<strong>in</strong>ary bar counter backed by customary<br />

mirrors. We looked away from one another at the wallside<br />

booths; we commented on the size <strong>of</strong> the glow<strong>in</strong>g jukebox, the<br />

silence <strong>of</strong> the bartender and his only other patron, a small man<br />

<strong>in</strong> a yellow slicker who drank someth<strong>in</strong>g green at the bar.<br />

"I'd like to commend us," Lenny said. He left the booth and<br />

returned with two double-shots <strong>of</strong> whisky.<br />

I took one and said, "That sounds like the beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a<br />

comment."<br />

"No, it's the beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a commendation. Which is different."<br />

"Not with you, it's not. Let me <strong>in</strong>stead rem<strong>in</strong>d you <strong>of</strong> the<br />

night you became impotent <strong>in</strong> Hanover, New Hampshire. You<br />

remember that? It's a worthwhile recollection, which I prefer to<br />

a commendation, because it is def<strong>in</strong>itely not a comment."<br />

"I was never impotent <strong>in</strong> Hanover, New Hampshire. I was<br />

impotent at a small hotel on Torcello not too long ago, and I was<br />

less than efficient about a year ago <strong>in</strong> the Vaucluse. But never <strong>in</strong><br />

Hanover."<br />

The Right Address<br />

I signalled to the bartender, raised the shotglasses, and he<br />

reluctantly brought more dr<strong>in</strong>ks. "Yes," I said, enjoy<strong>in</strong>g myself.<br />

"Hanover, New Hampshire. You were upstairs with a nurse, the<br />

one who had beautiful brown hair. I was downstairs, I don't<br />

even know whose house it was. We were supposed to spend the<br />

night study<strong>in</strong>g for someth<strong>in</strong>g. A classics course we were flunk<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

I th<strong>in</strong>k. So, you were up there, and all <strong>of</strong> a sudden I heard<br />

you s<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g your sad little song — 'I can't do it!' Right? Remember?<br />

And the nurse you were with, she had amaz<strong>in</strong>g brown<br />

hair, I remember, she screams back, 'Honey, you sure can't!''<br />

Lenny didn't laugh. He nodded, smiled, stopped smil<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

and said, "I would like to commend us."<br />

"I'm not go<strong>in</strong>g to be able to stop you, am I?"<br />

"I'd like — no, you can't. I flew about 97,000 miles to say<br />

this. I'd like to say, we are the only two men I know who can do<br />

this."<br />

I looked at the room.<br />

"And without talk<strong>in</strong>g about her," Lenny said.<br />

He lifted his glass; I held m<strong>in</strong>e onto the table. The door<br />

opened out and the women arrived, enter<strong>in</strong>g s<strong>in</strong>gle-file and <strong>in</strong><br />

silence. They wore red sh<strong>in</strong>y warm-up jackets trimmed <strong>in</strong> white<br />

cloth. On the back <strong>of</strong> each jacket, <strong>in</strong> small and unevenly-applied<br />

white letters, was ORISKANY FALLS KADETTES. Their slacks<br />

were tight on their calves, and they wore ballet flats or sneakers.<br />

The one who carried the largest bowl<strong>in</strong>g ball case, made <strong>of</strong> bright<br />

red plastic, wore curlers <strong>in</strong> her hair beneath a p<strong>in</strong>k translucent<br />

scarf. It was she who went to the jukebox at once and put the<br />

money <strong>in</strong>.<br />

Lenny said, "What year is this?"<br />

"This is where I want to go when I die," he said.<br />

The women stood at the bar and drank beer. They smoked<br />

a lot, quickly dipp<strong>in</strong>g toward their cigarettes to sip the smoke.<br />

And songs I hadn't heard for years came out <strong>of</strong> the wide high<br />

jukebox, and everyone listened to Jerry Lee Lewis and Paul<br />

Anka, to cha-chas and mambos and mostly to songs that required<br />

the Twist and the L<strong>in</strong>dy, or the Jersey Bounce. "This is<br />

better than be<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the world," Lenny said.<br />

14 15


Busch<br />

And then, while the leader towed a taller, th<strong>in</strong>ner woman<br />

by her red sat<strong>in</strong> sleeve, another member <strong>of</strong> the team put more<br />

money <strong>in</strong> the Disney-glow jukebox. The women stood at the<br />

end <strong>of</strong> the table and smiled at Lenny and me with shy but<br />

certa<strong>in</strong> expressions — Only Dance — and each held out a hand.<br />

Without speak<strong>in</strong>g, we moved to the center <strong>of</strong> the room, bobbed<br />

our heads at one another until we agreed to the beat, and then<br />

began.<br />

We thumped on the s<strong>of</strong>t boards <strong>of</strong> the Antique Mirror Bar<br />

with our knees cocked, our elbows locked, eyes avoid<strong>in</strong>g our<br />

partner's. We turned, stamp<strong>in</strong>g, gripp<strong>in</strong>g moist hands, then releas<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

then gripp<strong>in</strong>g aga<strong>in</strong>, pull<strong>in</strong>g hard, each trust<strong>in</strong>g the other<br />

to support the bent weight hang<strong>in</strong>g as we spun, shoulders bang<strong>in</strong>g<br />

down as heels did, to signal or celebrate the rhythm, or the<br />

act <strong>of</strong> danc<strong>in</strong>g, or the silence <strong>in</strong> which we agreed to move.<br />

There was no arrangement for the tenure <strong>of</strong> each dance.<br />

Women <strong>in</strong> red sat<strong>in</strong> jackets walked up as they wished, tapped a<br />

teammate on the shoulder, moved, head nodd<strong>in</strong>g, <strong>in</strong>to the music<br />

and then the dance, and then danced with Lenny or me. The<br />

music was constant, and each <strong>of</strong> the team danced with one <strong>of</strong> us<br />

several times. Lenny and I huffed and blew, but the women,<br />

though sweaty, only smiled or frowned with effort, the women<br />

made no sound. So there was the music <strong>of</strong> the L<strong>in</strong>dy-Hop, the<br />

squeak and shuffle <strong>of</strong> shoes, and the pant<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> men.<br />

The little person at the bar <strong>in</strong> the yellow slicker turned,<br />

twice, to look over his shoulder at us, then went back to his<br />

dr<strong>in</strong>k. The bartender watched a small soundless television set at<br />

the corner <strong>of</strong> his counter, set <strong>in</strong> among beef jerky and potatochip<br />

packets. Chuck Berry roared.<br />

Then the music did stop. Lenny said, "Thank you" to everyone.<br />

No one replied. The women reassembled at the bar, a couple<br />

<strong>of</strong> them nodd<strong>in</strong>g to Lenny and me, one <strong>of</strong>fer<strong>in</strong>g a small wave at<br />

shoulder-height. They worked at their hair and lips, pulled the<br />

hems <strong>of</strong> their red sat<strong>in</strong> jackets, the cuffs <strong>of</strong> their sleeves, and<br />

then, each retriev<strong>in</strong>g a bowl<strong>in</strong>g ball case from the floor among<br />

bar stools, they left.<br />

"The guys are com<strong>in</strong>g home from the 4 to 12 shift," I<br />

guessed. "They 11 make d<strong>in</strong>ner for them now."<br />

16<br />

The Right Address<br />

"I believe it," Lenny said. "1 believe anyth<strong>in</strong>g."<br />

From outside the partly-open door, a woman called, "You're<br />

welcome, boys," and the team giggled as the door closed.<br />

Lenny said, "I believe it."<br />

I brought dr<strong>in</strong>ks from the bar, and we sat <strong>in</strong> the booth,<br />

sweat<strong>in</strong>g, pour<strong>in</strong>g cold beer and chas<strong>in</strong>g it with warm whisky.<br />

"There are nights like this, anyth<strong>in</strong>g like this," I said, "and some<br />

fish<strong>in</strong>g, and sometimes I go out with a gun that isn't breechblocked<br />

and I shoot someth<strong>in</strong>g, and sometimes I see a couple <strong>of</strong><br />

movies <strong>in</strong> a row."<br />

"And then go home and watch another movie on TV until<br />

you fall asleep?"<br />

"Unless it's a sad one. I turn them <strong>of</strong>f."<br />

"Right," Lenny said, "or an <strong>of</strong>fensively happy one. Right?<br />

For me, anyway. If Gene Kelly starts <strong>in</strong> kiss<strong>in</strong>g her, and she<br />

smiles with tears <strong>in</strong> her eyes, then I fall apart."<br />

I put my hand on Lenny's wrist, squeezed it, released it,<br />

wiped my mouth, and said, "That's all I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you, Lenny. Fill<br />

<strong>in</strong> the rest. You know me well enough, all right? That's all <strong>of</strong> the<br />

details for now."<br />

"We can do that," Lenny said. "You and I are the only guys I<br />

know — you know that wasn't true about Hanover, I don't<br />

remember that at all. And the time I was talk<strong>in</strong>g about on Torcello<br />

didn't happen. I never stayed on Torcello. It happened <strong>in</strong><br />

Rome. After I got your letter, about the crash."<br />

"That did it to you? Are you surprised I'm not surprised?"<br />

His pale face reddened, and I thought he might cry once<br />

more. But he said, "I wonder if this wouldn't be a good time to<br />

deliver the last letter."<br />

"Oh, f<strong>in</strong>e. F<strong>in</strong>e. You don't care about sleep<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the van, do<br />

you?" I was almost sorry, then, for hav<strong>in</strong>g written to him. But<br />

there was, as he had po<strong>in</strong>ted out, the last delivery.<br />

"One more dr<strong>in</strong>k and I can sleep on the ro<strong>of</strong>," he said.<br />

"You probably won't have to."<br />

We stood <strong>in</strong> the Antique Mirror Bar and waved at the bartender,<br />

who didn't wave back. "Nobody answers you <strong>in</strong> this part<br />

<strong>of</strong> the country," Lenny said. "Have you noticed that? They do<br />

17<br />

II


Busch<br />

not perform the little motions <strong>of</strong> grace to strangers around<br />

here. I believe they live on human flesh."<br />

The little man <strong>in</strong> the slicker, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g his green fluids, called<br />

"You be careful, boys."<br />

I said, "You too."<br />

"Oh, hell," the little man said, "I always am. You don't see<br />

me churn<strong>in</strong>g around with no half a dozen girls <strong>in</strong> pajama tops "<br />

So at half past midnight, pitch<strong>in</strong>g up hill roads <strong>in</strong> a northeast<br />

backwater, Lenny call<strong>in</strong>g out names on rural mailboxes, as<br />

if I didn't know where to go, we came to the small farmhouse on<br />

the broad pla<strong>in</strong> that sat above the valley we'd driven through.<br />

Route 12B below gleamed grey <strong>in</strong> hard moonlight and looked<br />

like a nail that lay on a board. Up there, the land was silage crop,<br />

golden even at night with the com<strong>in</strong>g-on <strong>of</strong> autumn, blown by<br />

steady w<strong>in</strong>ds. The house was at a crossroads, <strong>in</strong> a square <strong>of</strong><br />

shaved lawn, flanked by bald<strong>in</strong>g maples. The leaves rattled, <strong>in</strong>sects<br />

called through the slamm<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> our car doors, and it<br />

wasn't long — we hadn't yet rapped at the metal knocker —<br />

before an upstairs light went on, and then a parlor light, and<br />

then the light above the door.<br />

She said, "I guess I got more mail."<br />

I said, "My friend's deliver<strong>in</strong>g with me."<br />

She wore a bathrobe meant for a man, and her feet were<br />

bare. Her hair looked sh<strong>in</strong>y and tight, it held to the curve <strong>of</strong> her<br />

head the way her large toes gripped at the floor. Her nose was<br />

narrow, nearly beaked, and she looked like someone — she always<br />

did — fresh from <strong>in</strong>consequential angers. "Hello, friend,"<br />

she said.<br />

I said to Lenny, "This is Miss Waldren."<br />

"You can call me Loretta, friend," she told Lenny. "The man<br />

who writes to me is not my husband. We never made agreements,<br />

really." She looked at the mail<strong>in</strong>g envelope I held out. "I<br />

don't th<strong>in</strong>k I want that."<br />

"The guy who sent it thought you would," Lenny said.<br />

"Do you th<strong>in</strong>k he's a victim <strong>of</strong> someth<strong>in</strong>g?" she asked him.<br />

Lenny said, "I don't much care what he is. I hope he doesn't<br />

die <strong>of</strong> someth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> Asia some time. He's <strong>in</strong> the dead letter<br />

department already."<br />

The Right Address<br />

"Well, that tone <strong>of</strong> talk doesn't make much sense," she said.<br />

"And nobody's dead, for heaven's sakes." Then she looked at me<br />

and raised her eyebrows up at her own mistake and shook her<br />

head.<br />

Lenny said, "No, huh? Says you. But how about this — we<br />

came about a hundred and fifty miles the long way around to<br />

give you that?"<br />

She said, "All right. Then I'll take it from you." She was<br />

look<strong>in</strong>g at me. I wasn't able to turn to look at Lenny and dare<br />

him to say someth<strong>in</strong>g more.<br />

I stood <strong>in</strong> front <strong>of</strong> her, wait<strong>in</strong>g, and then Lenny went back<br />

to the van. I watched him lean aga<strong>in</strong>st the door. She raised her<br />

eyebrows, this time for fun, and she went <strong>in</strong>side.<br />

Lenny called, "You bastard. You son <strong>of</strong> a bitch. How am I<br />

supposed to handle this?"<br />

I turned around and folded my arms. It was all I could do.<br />

Lenny said, "Sure." He climbed <strong>in</strong>to the van. I went <strong>in</strong>side<br />

the house.<br />

Next morn<strong>in</strong>g, I woke him very early, br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g a thermos<br />

and a brown bag filled with c<strong>in</strong>namon toast. I threw the envelope<br />

from Canada <strong>in</strong>to the back <strong>of</strong> the van and, as we ate and<br />

drank, I drove. We listened to the radio, we watched the traffic<br />

form, we didn't speak.<br />

Turn<strong>in</strong>g onto the Northway, I looked at him. Lenny said,<br />

"Get much?", and I sprayed a mouthful <strong>of</strong> c<strong>of</strong>fee onto the <strong>in</strong>strument<br />

panel.<br />

"It was awkward for you," Lenny said. "It serves you more<br />

or less right."<br />

"I'm sorry, Lenny."<br />

"You're so sorry, you're tak<strong>in</strong>g that poor bastard's letters<br />

back to him, right? All the way back to Montreal? Do you th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

he'll f<strong>in</strong>d that form <strong>of</strong> penance touch<strong>in</strong>g?"<br />

"She doesn't love him," I said.<br />

"Dammit, Bill."<br />

We listened to a Phil Ochs song and looked at the cars. And<br />

<strong>in</strong> a little while, I said, "You know, you realize this: I'm not the<br />

one around here do<strong>in</strong>g penance."<br />

"Leav<strong>in</strong>g me the penitent?"<br />

18 19


Busch<br />

"Lenny, you're the guy who came over an ocean for her.<br />

You're the one who rode the bus. You're the one who couldn't<br />

get it up, and you are the one who is stuck so deep <strong>in</strong>to griev<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

you have to hang onto Ariana's husband who she probably would<br />

have ditched. Might have. I don't know. But I'm right about this.<br />

You loved her for so long."<br />

Lenny looked out the w<strong>in</strong>dow.<br />

I put my hand around the back <strong>of</strong> his neck and I squeezed.<br />

He bent forward. "I like it that you love her/' I said. "It's f<strong>in</strong>e."<br />

"Do you love Miss Waldren?"<br />

"We're friends. We get along. You don't understand it all,<br />

about me and Ariana. It's confus<strong>in</strong>g."<br />

"You brought me over, didn't you, just so I could see her? I<br />

believe that's called confession, <strong>in</strong> certa<strong>in</strong> churches. Except I'm<br />

not — "<br />

"No! You keep on hav<strong>in</strong>g what you had for her, Lenny. I'm<br />

driv<strong>in</strong>g you to a bus station, Lenny. All right? I'm tak<strong>in</strong>g the<br />

goddamned envelope north, and that's my problem, and forget<br />

it. But you get onto a bus and go someplace for a while. We're<br />

friends."<br />

"Who?"<br />

"I'm talk<strong>in</strong>g about you and me."<br />

"Okay."<br />

"And well connect <strong>in</strong> a while."<br />

"You are not about to shoot yourself, that's pretty apparent."<br />

"And it isn't the reason you came here."<br />

"Part <strong>of</strong> it."<br />

"All right. Part <strong>of</strong> it. But you know why you really came<br />

here."<br />

"Because you wanted me to," Lenny said. And a few m<strong>in</strong>utes<br />

later, he sighed and said, "Listen, why don't you save me<br />

the carfare and get me over the border <strong>in</strong>to Canada? You can<br />

drop me <strong>of</strong>f up there. Because I'm sure to get drafted if they<br />

catch me <strong>in</strong> the States. I'm not "Essential" now. Get me over,<br />

and I can stay up there for a while."<br />

"You wanted to come home, Lenny."<br />

20<br />

"F<strong>in</strong>e."<br />

"Lenny, you did."<br />

"You can carry my mail back and forth."<br />

"I didn't force you home, Lenny."<br />

He said, "That feels better, doesn't it?"<br />

The Right Address<br />

21


John Engels The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />

The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />

I wait, not fully understand<strong>in</strong>g<br />

how it is I wait,<br />

one measure be<strong>in</strong>g that the sun<br />

has moved <strong>in</strong> from the mounta<strong>in</strong>s and begun to fall,<br />

another, that the late<br />

shadow <strong>of</strong> the afternoon looms east,<br />

conta<strong>in</strong>s us, pools<br />

<strong>in</strong> the hollow <strong>of</strong> her throat.<br />

The repsirator breathes. Outside,<br />

lizards scuttle on the walls<br />

or freeze <strong>in</strong> place at each<br />

chill flicker<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> dusk.<br />

A pulse <strong>of</strong> shadow from the apple tree<br />

flutters on her face. I read aloud,<br />

s<strong>in</strong>g des colores, call her name,<br />

none <strong>of</strong> which she hears,<br />

for it is com<strong>in</strong>g nearer,<br />

and she scarcely breathes,<br />

<strong>in</strong> and out <strong>of</strong> dreams <strong>in</strong> seconds, sleeps<br />

and waits to know the difference.<br />

Everyth<strong>in</strong>g out there burns,<br />

and it is possible, even at this moment,<br />

for me to look away from her, look out<br />

and understand dusk <strong>in</strong> the garden out there as if<br />

jt were the advent <strong>of</strong> free light, an<br />

illum<strong>in</strong>ation, a splendid<br />

brillia» ce: long burst <strong>of</strong> golden light<br />

flood<strong>in</strong>g the yard, burn<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>in</strong> the grass, so the grass becomes<br />

light, or light becomes<br />

blades and stalks and seed-heads<br />

<strong>of</strong> fire, a garden <strong>of</strong> fire<br />

walled <strong>in</strong> by the darknesses, mov<strong>in</strong>g<br />

to beat aga<strong>in</strong>st its walls: fury<br />

<strong>of</strong> that figure, flame<br />

and all that resembles flame! She<br />

burns away, and I<br />

who have never felt<br />

the least difficulty <strong>of</strong> breath,<br />

do noth<strong>in</strong>g that counts,<br />

do noth<strong>in</strong>g at all.<br />

What breathes for me? my body wish<strong>in</strong>g to be<br />

one body with the other, to take breath<br />

for the other aga<strong>in</strong>st<br />

all ris<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>of</strong> dead air,<br />

my body <strong>in</strong> itself no more than <strong>in</strong> the other<br />

conta<strong>in</strong>ed, as the white walls <strong>of</strong> the sickroom<br />

are conta<strong>in</strong>ed, surrounded by<br />

the house, this house<br />

by air, and all<br />

that at the bright edges <strong>of</strong> the air<br />

conta<strong>in</strong> it, that deeper breath<br />

which penetrates and is resplendent<br />

through the all, <strong>in</strong>forms us<br />

to the voice <strong>of</strong> the particular<br />

at such moments as we may be drawn<br />

to desire less. Whatever<br />

22 23


Engels The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />

the breath may make <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs, whatever<br />

it claims, does not<br />

susta<strong>in</strong> us. She<br />

dies young. That<br />

is the literal fact.<br />

Darkness<br />

at the edges <strong>of</strong> her pillow.<br />

It is late,<br />

and far beyond the wall<br />

the sky will soon rejo<strong>in</strong> the horizon,<br />

though <strong>in</strong> the <strong>in</strong>terval<br />

light is flood<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the yard,<br />

and there is no place more beautiful than this:<br />

beauty spills over and diversifies<br />

<strong>in</strong>to the waxy flower<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> the candlebush,<br />

the cold eye <strong>of</strong> the lizard, even<br />

<strong>in</strong>to the the elegant white shape<br />

the bedsheets make <strong>of</strong> her, <strong>in</strong>to the great<br />

curve and conta<strong>in</strong>ment <strong>of</strong><br />

eyelid, small well<br />

<strong>of</strong> darkness at the corner <strong>of</strong><br />

her mouth where the body turns <strong>in</strong>,<br />

enter<strong>in</strong>g itself.<br />

The respirator sighs, and gathers breath,<br />

I take my turn, sitt<strong>in</strong>g alone with her,<br />

who, I imag<strong>in</strong>e, must be as I would be,<br />

afraid to be alone, though I do not<br />

really know, understand<strong>in</strong>g from the usual<br />

terrified <strong>in</strong>dwell<strong>in</strong>g how I<br />

will be the next to die, how quickly<br />

it comes on, the hand<br />

numb<strong>in</strong>g, the f<strong>in</strong>gers<br />

giv<strong>in</strong>g up on th<strong>in</strong>gs, then legs,<br />

tongue, voice, then<br />

heart, these latter two<br />

not quickly; and how at the end<br />

the <strong>in</strong>determ<strong>in</strong>ate m<strong>in</strong>d keeps on<br />

observ<strong>in</strong>g out <strong>of</strong> what we wish to be its sleep<br />

the slow perishment, coldly desir<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

only for itself, the body; f<strong>in</strong>ally itself<br />

sign<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>ward onto the <strong>in</strong>most seed<br />

<strong>of</strong> dream. Stop breath<strong>in</strong>g, let it happen soon!<br />

Do you see what rises <strong>in</strong> the darkness, are you there<br />

and will<strong>in</strong>g to believe there is<br />

<strong>in</strong> your body someth<strong>in</strong>g ihat does not appear<br />

with<strong>in</strong> its outl<strong>in</strong>e, someth<strong>in</strong>g far away<br />

and materially hid,<br />

which does not advance upon the tomb, itself<br />

suffers, th<strong>in</strong>ks, works, is torn<br />

apart from the body, somehow manifest<br />

<strong>in</strong> the whole life <strong>of</strong> the world,<br />

<strong>in</strong> the garden's sudden fire, <strong>in</strong> bone and ash,<br />

<strong>in</strong> every startlement <strong>of</strong> the real, each massive<br />

ris<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> night, each cry<strong>in</strong>g out<br />

<strong>in</strong> the truest language which the body<br />

does not fear to bear aga<strong>in</strong>st<br />

the mortal fictions <strong>of</strong> the literal,<br />

some separate poetry, some<br />

ghost ris<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

cry<strong>in</strong>g out<br />

with the glorious accents<br />

<strong>of</strong> the particular?<br />

Great empt<strong>in</strong>ess <strong>of</strong> sky<br />

stra<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g to darken,<br />

the ceil<strong>in</strong>g darken<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

24 25


Ertgels<br />

shadows flower<strong>in</strong>g<br />

beneath the bed,<br />

failure <strong>of</strong> the breath's ratios<br />

which have deformed us <strong>in</strong>to love<br />

for the shapes <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs which do not die<br />

and are not dy<strong>in</strong>g — we cannot help it,<br />

beauty limps<br />

<strong>in</strong> the clamorous, radiant shadows <strong>of</strong> the world,<br />

<strong>in</strong> the frailest membranes <strong>of</strong> the heart which dreams<br />

and does not cease to dream we live<br />

aga<strong>in</strong>st the ris<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>of</strong> dead air,<br />

and take on power to breathe <strong>in</strong> death or love<br />

one for the other, each taken breath<br />

one to the lessen<strong>in</strong>g other <strong>in</strong><br />

so light a balance they<br />

may coalesce.<br />

In this breath-tak<strong>in</strong>g nocturnality<br />

how quickly it comes on, how<br />

<strong>in</strong> the face <strong>of</strong> it we ma<strong>in</strong>ta<strong>in</strong><br />

the perpetual transformations, the figure,<br />

by what perversities the image <strong>of</strong> the hand<br />

susta<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g its darknesses, the eye<br />

susta<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g the yard <strong>in</strong> shadow, the tree<br />

heavy and shudder<strong>in</strong>g<br />

with apples; and how<br />

<strong>in</strong> the contiguous presence and whole<br />

clarity <strong>of</strong> the dream, no breath<br />

is heavy, noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />

is strange, the lizard's eye<br />

conta<strong>in</strong>s and is perfect<br />

as the angel's, each<br />

see<strong>in</strong>g for the other, f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g<br />

what <strong>in</strong> the terrible fist <strong>of</strong> the night<br />

is visible. The breath<br />

measures the body's wait<strong>in</strong>g; so easily gone bl<strong>in</strong>d<br />

and out <strong>of</strong> breath, her body<br />

surrounds her, she surrounds<br />

the common heart which,<br />

even more deeply than she sleeps,<br />

sleeps, itself capable<br />

<strong>of</strong> dreams beyond the dream<br />

<strong>in</strong> which it is neither dark nor light,<br />

beyond the dream<br />

<strong>in</strong> which the first and <strong>in</strong>capable eye<br />

awakened to itself, the further heart, heart<br />

<strong>of</strong> the wait<strong>in</strong>g and the wait<strong>in</strong>g ones,<br />

awakened to that entire consonance <strong>in</strong> which<br />

noth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> all the radiant landscape did not sleep<br />

which did not freely breathe,<br />

nor for itself only.<br />

The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />

26 27<br />

'"I


Miklds Radnbii<br />

Even<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the Garden<br />

New moon on the sky is as delicately th<strong>in</strong><br />

as a t<strong>in</strong>y wound that a swallow cuts<br />

flitt<strong>in</strong>g on the water's face and which, after it,<br />

he promptly forgets.<br />

Now the garden was mak<strong>in</strong>g its bed for the night;<br />

many sleepy bugs: <strong>in</strong>to flowers they crept,<br />

and the pert tulip, stand<strong>in</strong>g around<br />

on its bed, slept.<br />

So I step lightly now and th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

that, possibly, on my lady's neck the bun<br />

is like a snort<strong>in</strong>g golden period clos<strong>in</strong>g<br />

a happy poem.<br />

And I say the poem: eagerly it comes<br />

grow<strong>in</strong>g louder on my lips, like faithful breath<br />

after a kiss, like — between fallen<br />

leaves — young grass.<br />

And with a poem I step <strong>in</strong>to the house, from where<br />

my woman runs to meet me; on her snowy neck<br />

she wears the bun which, <strong>in</strong> unfurl<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

is a golden flag.<br />

7934<br />

28<br />

Punctual Poem about Dusk<br />

It was exactly eight-o-n<strong>in</strong>e;<br />

fire was k<strong>in</strong>dled under water,<br />

riverbank willows turn<strong>in</strong>g fatter,<br />

with shadows squeez<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> between.<br />

Even<strong>in</strong>g arrives; the river Tisza<br />

just laps along with the giant raft,<br />

too lazy to swim it, fore or aft;<br />

the one it watches, the hid<strong>in</strong>g sun,<br />

now lurks among tall meadow grass,<br />

rests on the slop<strong>in</strong>g pasturelands,<br />

scatters <strong>in</strong> air, and all at once<br />

darkness settles above the paths.<br />

Faithfully two poppies protest;<br />

you can still see them, they don't m<strong>in</strong>d,<br />

yet here comes, punish<strong>in</strong>g, the sky:<br />

by bayonetted breeze it sends<br />

word; and the darkness, fly<strong>in</strong>g wraith,<br />

smiles at the flowers which only bend<br />

and will not break, can scarce abandon<br />

lightheartedly their crimson faith.<br />

29


;<br />

Radnbii<br />

(So twilight ages, old as Gramps,<br />

you can even call it even<strong>in</strong>g;<br />

blackly it sees the Tisza roll<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

its breath befogs the riverbanks.)<br />

1934<br />

30<br />

Goats<br />

The clouds are becom<strong>in</strong>g a veil,<br />

are lett<strong>in</strong>g their colors fall,<br />

between the grasses it's black;<br />

fatten<strong>in</strong>g, small, s<strong>of</strong>t bodies<br />

<strong>of</strong> kids still give <strong>of</strong>f brightness,<br />

and separate out from the dark.<br />

A gray goat stands around,<br />

on her hair the light goes out,<br />

eyes go sleep-fire-gold;<br />

on her great dugs the strength<br />

<strong>of</strong> sunlit grasses distends.<br />

She looks past the good, warm fold.<br />

Twilight aga<strong>in</strong> casts its surf.<br />

You see the blood at the turf<br />

<strong>of</strong> sky burst and run;<br />

lewdly a billy goat p<strong>in</strong>ches<br />

flowers, and on his two haunches<br />

sniggers to the face <strong>of</strong> the moon.<br />

The other one walks like a ghost,<br />

g<strong>in</strong>gerly stepp<strong>in</strong>g on grass,<br />

bleats on an ebony note;<br />

31


Goats<br />

his beard flows; by the spell,<br />

he scatters dark and small<br />

marbles abroad <strong>in</strong> the night.<br />

Nagytelekmajor, I 942<br />

Translated from the Hungarian<br />

by Emery George<br />

Qeorge Seferis<br />

On a Ray <strong>of</strong> W<strong>in</strong>ter Light<br />

Leaves like rusty t<strong>in</strong><br />

for the desolate m<strong>in</strong>d that has seen the end —<br />

the barest glimmer<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />

Leaves aswirl with gulls<br />

made wild by w<strong>in</strong>ter.<br />

The way the heart f<strong>in</strong>ds release<br />

the dancers turned <strong>in</strong>to trees,<br />

<strong>in</strong>to a huge forest <strong>of</strong> trees stripped naked.<br />

White seaweed burns,<br />

gray-haired sea-nymphs, eyes lidless, rise from the waves<br />

shapes that once danced,<br />

flames now marble.<br />

Snow has covered the world.<br />

My companions drove me mad<br />

with theodolites, sextants, lodestones,<br />

with telescopes that enlarge th<strong>in</strong>gs —<br />

better if they kept at a distance.<br />

Where will roads like these lead us?<br />

But maybe the day which began then<br />

has not yet died out<br />

with a rose-like fire <strong>in</strong> a rav<strong>in</strong>e,<br />

with a sea ethereal at the feet <strong>of</strong> God.<br />

32 33


Seferis On a Ray <strong>of</strong> W<strong>in</strong>ter Light<br />

Years ago you said:<br />

"Essentially I'm a matter <strong>of</strong> light."<br />

And still today when you lean<br />

on the broad shoulders <strong>of</strong> sleep<br />

or even when they anchor you<br />

to the sea's drowsy breast<br />

you look for crannies where the blackness<br />

has worn th<strong>in</strong> and has no resistance,<br />

grop<strong>in</strong>gly you search for the lance —<br />

the lance dest<strong>in</strong>ed to pierce your heart<br />

and lay it open to the light.<br />

What murky river took us under?<br />

We stayed <strong>in</strong> the depths.<br />

The current flows above our heads,<br />

bend<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>articulate reeds;<br />

the voices<br />

under the chestnut tree turned <strong>in</strong>to pebbles<br />

pebbles that children throw.<br />

A breath <strong>of</strong> air, then another, a gust<br />

as you put down the book<br />

to tear up useless bygone papers<br />

or lean forward to watch <strong>in</strong> the meadow<br />

arrogant centaurs gallop<strong>in</strong>g<br />

or nubile Amazons with sweat<br />

<strong>in</strong> all the runnels <strong>of</strong> the body<br />

as they compete at jump<strong>in</strong>g and wrestl<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

Gusts <strong>of</strong> resurrection one dawn<br />

when you thought it was the sun that had arisen.<br />

Flame is healed by flame,<br />

not <strong>in</strong> the slow trickle <strong>of</strong> moments<br />

but <strong>in</strong> a s<strong>in</strong>gle flash, at once;<br />

like the long<strong>in</strong>g that merges with another long<strong>in</strong>g<br />

so that the two rema<strong>in</strong> transfixed<br />

or like<br />

the rhythm <strong>in</strong> music that stays<br />

there at the center like a statue<br />

immovable.<br />

This breath <strong>of</strong> life is not a transition:<br />

the thunderbolt rules it.<br />

Translated from the Greek<br />

by Edmund Keeley & Philip Sherrard<br />

34 35


Joseph Brodsky<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

I<br />

The Eastern tip <strong>of</strong> the Empire dives <strong>in</strong>to night;<br />

Cicadas fall silent over some empty lawn;<br />

On classic pediments <strong>in</strong>scriptions dim from the sight<br />

As a f<strong>in</strong>ial cross darkens and then is gone<br />

Like the nearly empty bottle on the table.<br />

From the empty street's patrol-car a refra<strong>in</strong><br />

Of Ray Charles' keyboard t<strong>in</strong>kles away like ra<strong>in</strong>.<br />

Crawl<strong>in</strong>g to a vacant beach from the vast wet<br />

Of ocean, a crab digs <strong>in</strong>to sand laced with sea-lather<br />

And sleeps. A giant clock on a brick tower<br />

Rattles its scissors. The face is drenched with sweat.<br />

The street lamps glisten <strong>in</strong> the stifl<strong>in</strong>g weather,<br />

Formally spaced,<br />

Like white shirt buttons open to the waist.<br />

It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. The eye's guided by a bl<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g stop-light<br />

In its journey to the whiskey across the room<br />

On the night-stand. The heart stops dead a moment, but its<br />

dull boom<br />

Goes on, and the blood, on pilgrimage gone forth,<br />

Comes back to a crossroad. The body, like an upright,<br />

Rolled-up road-map, lifts an eyebrow <strong>in</strong> the North.<br />

It's strange to th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>of</strong> surviv<strong>in</strong>g, but that's what happened.<br />

Dust settles on furnish<strong>in</strong>gs, and a car bends length<br />

Around corners <strong>in</strong> spite <strong>of</strong> Euclid. And the deepened<br />

Darkness makes up for the absence <strong>of</strong> people, <strong>of</strong> voices,<br />

And so forth, and alters them, by its cunn<strong>in</strong>g and strength,<br />

36<br />

Not to deserters, to ones who have taken flight,<br />

But rather to those now disappeared from sight.<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. And the thick leaves' rasp<strong>in</strong>g sound<br />

Is enough all by itself to make you sweat.<br />

What seems to be a small dot <strong>in</strong> the dark<br />

Could only be one th<strong>in</strong>g — a star. On the deserted ground<br />

Of a basketball court a vagrant bird has set<br />

Its fragile egg <strong>in</strong> the steel hoop's ravelled net.<br />

There's a smell <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>t now, and <strong>of</strong> mignonette.<br />

II<br />

Like a despotic Sheik, who can be untrue<br />

To his vast seraglio and multiple desires<br />

Only with a harem altogether new,<br />

Varied and numerous, I have switched Empires.<br />

A step dictated by the acrid, live<br />

Odor <strong>of</strong> burn<strong>in</strong>g carried on the air<br />

From all four quarters (a time for silent prayer!)<br />

And, from the crow's high vantage po<strong>in</strong>t, from five.<br />

Like a snake charmer, like the Pied Piper <strong>of</strong> old,<br />

Play<strong>in</strong>g my flute I passed the green janissaries,<br />

My testes sens<strong>in</strong>g their pole axe's s<strong>in</strong>ister cold,<br />

As when one wades <strong>in</strong>to water. And then with the br<strong>in</strong>e<br />

Of sea-water sharpness fill<strong>in</strong>g, flood<strong>in</strong>g the mouth,<br />

I crossed the l<strong>in</strong>e<br />

And sailed <strong>in</strong>to muttony clouds. Below me curled<br />

Serpent<strong>in</strong>e rivers, roads bloomed with dust, ricks yellowed,<br />

And everywhere <strong>in</strong> that dim<strong>in</strong>ished world,<br />

In formal opposition, near and far,<br />

L<strong>in</strong>ed up like pr<strong>in</strong>t <strong>in</strong> a book about to close,<br />

Armies rehearsed their games <strong>in</strong> balanced rows<br />

And cities all went dark as caviar.<br />

And then the darkness thickened. All lights fled,<br />

A turb<strong>in</strong>e droned, a head ached rhythmically,<br />

37


& '<br />

:||| j;f<br />

• t>S ! lib<br />

I<br />

'?!<br />

-,^<br />

|I<br />

0 •<br />

iHI<br />

•<br />

1 m<br />

•<br />

111<br />

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HI<br />

i<br />

Brodsky<br />

And space backed up like a crab, time surged ahead<br />

Into first place, and stream<strong>in</strong>g westwardly,<br />

Seemed to be head<strong>in</strong>g home, void <strong>of</strong> all light,<br />

Soil<strong>in</strong>g its garments with the tar <strong>of</strong> night.<br />

I fell asleep. When I awoke to the day,<br />

Magnetic north had strengthened its deadly pull.<br />

I beheld new heavens, I beheld the earth made new.<br />

It lay<br />

Turn<strong>in</strong>g to dust, as flat th<strong>in</strong>gs always do.<br />

Ill<br />

Be<strong>in</strong>g itself the essence <strong>of</strong> all th<strong>in</strong>gs,<br />

Solitude teaches essentials. How gratefully the sk<strong>in</strong><br />

Receives the leathery coolness <strong>of</strong> its chair.<br />

Meanwhile my arm, <strong>of</strong>f <strong>in</strong> the dark somewhere,<br />

Goes wooden <strong>in</strong> sympathetic brotherhood<br />

With the chair's listless arm <strong>of</strong> oaken wood.<br />

A glow<strong>in</strong>g oaken gra<strong>in</strong><br />

Covers the t<strong>in</strong>y bones <strong>of</strong> the jo<strong>in</strong>ts. And the bra<strong>in</strong><br />

Knocks like the glass's ice-cube t<strong>in</strong>kl<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. On a pool hall's steps, <strong>in</strong> a dim glow,<br />

Somebody strik<strong>in</strong>g a match rescues his face<br />

Of an old black man from the enfold<strong>in</strong>g dark<br />

For a flar<strong>in</strong>g moment. The white-toothed portico<br />

Of the District Courthouse s<strong>in</strong>ks <strong>in</strong> the thickened lace<br />

Of foliage, and awaits the random search<br />

Of pass<strong>in</strong>g headlights. High up on its perch,<br />

Like the fiery warn<strong>in</strong>g at Belshazzar's Feast,<br />

The <strong>in</strong>scription, Coca-Cola, hums <strong>in</strong> red.<br />

In the Country Club's unweeded flowerbed<br />

A founta<strong>in</strong> whispers its secrets. Unable to rouse<br />

A simple iirra lirra <strong>in</strong> these dull boughs,<br />

A strengthless breeze rustles the tattered, creased<br />

News <strong>of</strong> the world, its obsolete events,<br />

Aga<strong>in</strong>st an improvised, unlikely fence.<br />

38<br />

Ql iron bedsteads. It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Lean<strong>in</strong>g on his rifle,<br />

The Unknown Soldier grows even more unknown.<br />

Aga<strong>in</strong>st a concrete jetty, <strong>in</strong> dull repose<br />

A trawler scrapes the rusty bridge <strong>of</strong> its nose.<br />

A weary, buzz<strong>in</strong>g ventilator mills,<br />

The U.S.A.'s hot air with metal gills.<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

Like a carried-over number <strong>in</strong> addition,<br />

yhe sea comes up <strong>in</strong> the dark<br />

And on the beach it leaves its delible mark,<br />

And the unvary<strong>in</strong>g, diastolic motion,<br />

The repetitious, drugged sway <strong>of</strong> the ocean<br />

Cradles a spl<strong>in</strong>ter adrift for a million years.<br />

If you step sideways <strong>of</strong>f the pier's<br />

Edge, you'll cont<strong>in</strong>ue to fall toward those tides<br />

For a long, long time, your hands stiff at your sides,<br />

But you will make no splash.<br />

IV<br />

The change <strong>of</strong> Empires is <strong>in</strong>timately tied<br />

To the hum <strong>of</strong> words, the s<strong>of</strong>t, fricative spray<br />

Of spittle <strong>in</strong> the act <strong>of</strong> speech, the whole<br />

Sum <strong>of</strong> Lobachevsky's angles, the strange way<br />

That parallels may unwitt<strong>in</strong>gly collide<br />

By casual chance some day<br />

As longitudes contrive to meet at the pole.<br />

And the change is l<strong>in</strong>ked as well to the chopp<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> the wood,<br />

To the tattered l<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> life turned <strong>in</strong>side out<br />

And thereby changed to a garment dry and good<br />

(To tweed <strong>in</strong> w<strong>in</strong>ter, l<strong>in</strong>en <strong>in</strong> a heat spell)<br />

And the bra<strong>in</strong>'s kernel harden<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> its shell.<br />

In general, <strong>of</strong> all our organs the eye<br />

Alone reta<strong>in</strong>s its elasticity,<br />

Pliant, adaptive as a dream or wish.<br />

For the change <strong>of</strong> Empires is l<strong>in</strong>ked with far-flung sight,<br />

With the long gaze cast across the ocean's tide<br />

39


• i ?<br />

I<br />

(Somewhere with<strong>in</strong> us lives a dormant fish)<br />

And the mirror's revelation that the part <strong>in</strong> your hair<br />

That you meticulously placed on the left side<br />

Mysteriously shows up on the right,<br />

L<strong>in</strong>ked to weak gums, to heartburn brought about<br />

By a diet unfamiliar and alien,<br />

To the <strong>in</strong>tense blankness, to the prist<strong>in</strong>e white<br />

Of the m<strong>in</strong>d, which corresponds to the pla<strong>in</strong>, small<br />

Blank page <strong>of</strong> letterpaper on which you write.<br />

But now the giddy pen<br />

Po<strong>in</strong>ts out resemblances, for after all,<br />

The device <strong>in</strong> your hand is the same old pen and <strong>in</strong>k<br />

As before, the woodland plants exhibit no change<br />

Of leafage, and the same old bombers range<br />

The clouds toward who knows what<br />

Precisely chosen, carefully targeted spot.<br />

And what you really need now is a dr<strong>in</strong>k.<br />

V<br />

New England towns seem much as if they were cast<br />

Ashore along its coastl<strong>in</strong>e, beached by a flood-<br />

Tide, and sh<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> darkness mile after mile<br />

With imbricate, speckled scales <strong>of</strong> sh<strong>in</strong>gle and tile,<br />

Like schools <strong>of</strong> sleep<strong>in</strong>g fish hauled <strong>in</strong> by the vast<br />

Nets <strong>of</strong> a cont<strong>in</strong>ent that was first discovered<br />

By herr<strong>in</strong>g and by cod. But neither cod<br />

Nor herr<strong>in</strong>g have had any noble statues raised<br />

In their honor, even though the memorial date<br />

Could be comfortably omitted. As for the great<br />

Flag <strong>of</strong> the place, it bears no blazon or mark<br />

Of the first fish-founder among its parallel bars,<br />

And as Louis Sullivan might perhaps have said,<br />

Seen <strong>in</strong> the dark,<br />

It looks like a sketch <strong>of</strong> towers thrust among stars.<br />

40<br />

Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. A man on his porch has wound a towel<br />

Around this throat. A pitiful, small moth<br />

Batters the w<strong>in</strong>dow screen and bounces <strong>of</strong>f<br />

Like a bullet that Nature has zeroed <strong>in</strong> on itself<br />

From an <strong>in</strong>visible ambush,<br />

Aim<strong>in</strong>g for some improbable bullseye<br />

Right smack <strong>in</strong> the middle <strong>of</strong> July.<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

Because watches keep tick<strong>in</strong>g, pa<strong>in</strong> washes away<br />

With the years. If time picks up the knack<br />

Of panacea, it's because time can't abide<br />

Be<strong>in</strong>g rushed, or f<strong>in</strong>ally turns <strong>in</strong>somniac.<br />

And walk<strong>in</strong>g or swimm<strong>in</strong>g, the dreams <strong>of</strong> one hemisphere<br />

(heads)<br />

Swarm with the nightmares, the dark, s<strong>in</strong>ister play<br />

Of its opposite (tails), its double, its underside.<br />

Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Great motionless plants. A distant bark.<br />

A nodd<strong>in</strong>g head now jerks itself upright<br />

To keep faces and phone numbers from slid<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to the dark<br />

And <strong>of</strong>f the precarious edge <strong>of</strong> memory.<br />

In genu<strong>in</strong>e tragedy.<br />

It's not the f<strong>in</strong>e hero that f<strong>in</strong>ally dies, it seems,<br />

But, from constant wear and tear, night after night,<br />

The old stage set itself, giv<strong>in</strong>g way at the seams.<br />

VI<br />

S<strong>in</strong>ce it's too late by now to say "goodbye"<br />

And expect from time and space any reply<br />

Except an echo that sounds like "here's your tip,"<br />

Pseudo-majestic, cub<strong>in</strong>g every chance<br />

Word that escapes the lip,<br />

I write <strong>in</strong> a sort <strong>of</strong> trance,<br />

I write these words out bl<strong>in</strong>dly, the scriven<strong>in</strong>g hand<br />

Attempt<strong>in</strong>g to outstrip<br />

By a second the "how come?"<br />

41


Brodsky<br />

That at any moment might escape the lip,<br />

The same lip <strong>of</strong> the writer,<br />

And sail away <strong>in</strong>to night, there to expand<br />

By geometrical progress, und so writer.<br />

I write from an Empire whose enormous flanks<br />

Extend beneath the sea. Hav<strong>in</strong>g sampled two<br />

Oceans as well as cont<strong>in</strong>ents, I feel that I know<br />

What the globe itself must feel: there's nowhere to go.<br />

Elsewhere is noth<strong>in</strong>g more than a far-flung strew<br />

Of stars, burn<strong>in</strong>g away.<br />

Better to use a telescope to see<br />

A snail self-sealed to the underside <strong>of</strong> a leaf.<br />

I always used to regard "<strong>in</strong>f<strong>in</strong>ity"<br />

As the art <strong>of</strong> splitt<strong>in</strong>g a liter <strong>in</strong>to three<br />

Equal components with a couple <strong>of</strong> friends<br />

Without a drop left over. Not, through a lens,<br />

An aggregate <strong>of</strong> miles without relief.<br />

Night. A cuckoo wheezes <strong>in</strong> the Waldorf-<br />

Inglorious. The legions close their ranks<br />

And, lean<strong>in</strong>g aga<strong>in</strong>st cohorts, sleep upright.<br />

Circuses pile aga<strong>in</strong>st fora. High <strong>in</strong> the night<br />

Above the bare blue-pr<strong>in</strong>t <strong>of</strong> an empty court,<br />

Like a lost tennis-ball, the moon regards its court,<br />

A chess queen's dream, spare, parqueted, formal and bright.<br />

There's no life without furniture.<br />

VII<br />

Only a corner cordoned <strong>of</strong>f and laced<br />

By dusty cobwebs may properly be called<br />

Right-angled; only after the musketry <strong>of</strong> applause<br />

And "bravos" does the actor rise from the dead;<br />

Only when .the fulcrum is solidly placed<br />

Can a person lift, by Archimedian laws,<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

The weight <strong>of</strong> this world. And only that body whose weight<br />

Is balanced at right angles to the floor<br />

Can manage to walk about and navigate.<br />

Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. There's a cockroach mob <strong>in</strong> the stadium<br />

Of the z<strong>in</strong>c washbas<strong>in</strong>, crowd<strong>in</strong>g around the old<br />

Corpse <strong>of</strong> a dried-up sponge. Turn<strong>in</strong>g its crown,<br />

A bronze faucet, like Caesar's laureled head,<br />

Deposes upon the liv<strong>in</strong>g and the dead<br />

A merciless column <strong>of</strong> water <strong>in</strong> which they drown.<br />

The little bubble-beads <strong>in</strong>side my glass<br />

Look like the holes <strong>in</strong> cheese.<br />

No doubt that gravity holds sway,<br />

Just as upon a solid mass,<br />

Over such small transparencies as these.<br />

And its accelerat<strong>in</strong>g waterfall<br />

(Thirty-two feet per sec. per sec.) refracts<br />

As does a ray <strong>of</strong> light <strong>in</strong> human clay.<br />

Only the stacked, white ch<strong>in</strong>a on the stove<br />

Could look so much like a squashed, collapsed pagoda.<br />

Space lends itself just to repeatable th<strong>in</strong>gs,<br />

Roses, for <strong>in</strong>stance. If you see one alone,<br />

You <strong>in</strong>stantly see two. The bright corona,<br />

The crimson petals abuzz, acrawl with w<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

Of dragonflies, <strong>of</strong> wasps and bees with st<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />

Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Even the shadow on the wall,<br />

Servile and weak as it is, still mimics the rise<br />

Of the hand that wipes the forehead's sweat. The smell<br />

Of old body is even clearer now<br />

Than body's outl<strong>in</strong>e. Thought loses its def<strong>in</strong>ed<br />

Edges, and the frazzled m<strong>in</strong>d<br />

Goes s<strong>of</strong>t <strong>in</strong> its soup-bone skull. No one is here<br />

To set the proper focus <strong>of</strong> your eyes.<br />

42 43


Brodsky<br />

VIII<br />

Preserve these words aga<strong>in</strong>st a time <strong>of</strong> cold,<br />

A day <strong>of</strong> fear: Man survives like a fish,<br />

Stranded, beached, but <strong>in</strong>tent<br />

On adapt<strong>in</strong>g itself to some deep, cellular wish,<br />

Wriggl<strong>in</strong>g toward bushes, form<strong>in</strong>g h<strong>in</strong>ged leg-struts, then<br />

To depart (leav<strong>in</strong>g a track like the scrawl <strong>of</strong> a pen)<br />

For the <strong>in</strong>terior, the heart <strong>of</strong> the cont<strong>in</strong>ent.<br />

Full-breasted sph<strong>in</strong>xes there are, and lions w<strong>in</strong>ged<br />

Like fanged and mythic birds.<br />

Angels <strong>in</strong> white, as well, and nymphs <strong>of</strong> the sea.<br />

To one who shoulders the vast obscurity<br />

Of darkness and heavy heat (may one add, grief?)<br />

They are more cherished than the concentric, r<strong>in</strong>ged<br />

Zeroes that ripple outwards from dropped words.<br />

Even space itself, where there's nowhere to sit down,<br />

Decl<strong>in</strong>es, like a star <strong>in</strong> its ether, its cold sky.<br />

Yet just because shoes exist and the foot is shod<br />

Some surface will always be there, some place to stand,<br />

A portion <strong>of</strong> dry land.<br />

And its br<strong>in</strong>ks and beaches will be enchanted by<br />

The s<strong>of</strong>t song <strong>of</strong> the cod:<br />

"Time is far greater than space. Space is a th<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

Whereas time is, <strong>in</strong> essence, the thought, the conscious dream<br />

Of a th<strong>in</strong>g. And life itself is a variety<br />

Of time. The carp and bream<br />

Are its clots and distillates. As are even more stark<br />

And elemental th<strong>in</strong>gs, <strong>in</strong>clud<strong>in</strong>g the sea-<br />

Wave and the firmament <strong>of</strong> the dry land.<br />

Includ<strong>in</strong>g death, that punctuation mark.<br />

At times, <strong>in</strong> that chaos, that pil<strong>in</strong>g up <strong>of</strong> days,<br />

The sound <strong>of</strong> a s<strong>in</strong>gle word r<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> the ear,<br />

Some brief, syllabic cry,<br />

Like 'love,' perhaps, or possibly merely 'hi!'<br />

But before I can make it out, static or haze<br />

44<br />

Trouble the scann<strong>in</strong>g l<strong>in</strong>es that undulate<br />

And wave like the loosened ripples <strong>of</strong> your hair."<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

IX<br />

Man broods over his life like night above a lamp.<br />

At certa<strong>in</strong> moments a thought takes leave <strong>of</strong> one<br />

Of the bra<strong>in</strong>'s hemispheres, and slips, as a bedsheet might,<br />

From under the restless sleeper's body-clamp,<br />

Reveal<strong>in</strong>g who-knows-what-under-the-sun.<br />

Unquestionably, night<br />

Is a bulky th<strong>in</strong>g, but not so <strong>in</strong>f<strong>in</strong>ite<br />

As to engross both lobes. By slow degrees<br />

The africa <strong>of</strong> the bra<strong>in</strong>, its europe, the asian mass <strong>of</strong> it,<br />

As well as other prom<strong>in</strong>ences <strong>in</strong> its crowded seas,<br />

Creak<strong>in</strong>g on their axis, turn a wr<strong>in</strong>kled cheek<br />

Toward the electric heron with its lightbulb <strong>of</strong> a beak.<br />

Behold: Aladd<strong>in</strong> says "Sesame!" and presto! there's a golden<br />

trove.<br />

Caesar calls for his Brutus down the dark forum's colonnades.<br />

In the jade pavilion a night<strong>in</strong>gale serenades<br />

The Mandar<strong>in</strong> on the delicate theme <strong>of</strong> love.<br />

A young girl rocks a cradle <strong>in</strong> the lamp's arena <strong>of</strong> light.<br />

A naked Papuan leg keeps up a boogie-woogie beat.<br />

Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. And so, cold knees tucked snug aga<strong>in</strong>st the night,<br />

It comes to you all at once, there <strong>in</strong> the bed,<br />

That this is marriage. That beyond the customs sheds<br />

Across dozens <strong>of</strong> borders there turns upon its side<br />

A body you now share noth<strong>in</strong>g with, unless<br />

It be the ocean's bottom, hidden from sight,<br />

And the experience <strong>of</strong> nakedness.<br />

Nevetheless, you won't get up together.<br />

Because, while it may be light way over there,<br />

45


if!<br />

i<br />

BrodsJry<br />

The dark still governs <strong>in</strong> your hemisphere.<br />

One solar source has never been enough<br />

to serve two average bodies, not s<strong>in</strong>ce the time<br />

God glued the world together <strong>in</strong> its prime.<br />

The light has never been enough.<br />

I notice a sleeve's hem, as my eyes fall,<br />

And an elbow bend<strong>in</strong>g itself. Coord<strong>in</strong>ates show<br />

My location as paradise, that sovereign, blessed<br />

Place where all purpose and long<strong>in</strong>g is set at rest.<br />

This is a planet without vistas, with no<br />

Converg<strong>in</strong>g l<strong>in</strong>es, with no prospects at all.<br />

Touch the table-corner, touch the sharp nib <strong>of</strong> the pen<br />

With your f<strong>in</strong>gertip: you can tell such th<strong>in</strong>gs could hurt.<br />

And yet the paradise <strong>of</strong> the <strong>in</strong>ert<br />

Resides <strong>in</strong> po<strong>in</strong>tedness;<br />

Whereas <strong>in</strong> the lives <strong>of</strong> men<br />

It is fleet<strong>in</strong>g, a misty, mutable excess<br />

That will not come aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />

I f<strong>in</strong>d myself, as it were, on a mounta<strong>in</strong> peak.<br />

Beyond me there is ... Chronos and th<strong>in</strong> air.<br />

Preserve these words. The paradise men seek<br />

Is a dead end, a worn-out, battered cape<br />

Bent <strong>in</strong>to crooked shape,<br />

A cone, a f<strong>in</strong>ial cap, a steel ship's bow<br />

From which the lookout never shouts "Land Ho!"<br />

All you can tell for certa<strong>in</strong> is the time.<br />

That said, there's noth<strong>in</strong>g left but to police<br />

The revolv<strong>in</strong>g hands. The eye drowns silently<br />

In the clock-face as <strong>in</strong> a broad, bottomless sea.<br />

In paradise all clocks refuse to chime<br />

For fear they might, <strong>in</strong> strik<strong>in</strong>g, disturb the peace.<br />

Double all absences, multiply by two<br />

46<br />

VVhatever's miss<strong>in</strong>g, and you'll have some clue<br />

To what it's like here. A number, <strong>in</strong> any case,<br />

Is also a word and, as such, a device<br />

Or gesture that melts away without a trace,<br />

Like a small cube <strong>of</strong> ice.<br />

XI<br />

Great issues leave a trail <strong>of</strong> words beh<strong>in</strong>d,<br />

Free-form as clouds <strong>of</strong> tree-tops, rigid as dates<br />

Of the year. So too, decked out <strong>in</strong> a paper hat,<br />

The body view<strong>in</strong>g the ocean. It is selfless, flat<br />

As a mirror as it stands <strong>in</strong> the darkness there.<br />

Upon its face, just as with<strong>in</strong> its m<strong>in</strong>d,<br />

Noth<strong>in</strong>g but spread<strong>in</strong>g ripples anywhere.<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

Consist<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> love, <strong>of</strong> dirty words, a blend<br />

Of ashes, the fear <strong>of</strong> death, the fragile case<br />

Of the bone, and the gro<strong>in</strong>'s jeopardy, an erect<br />

Body at sea-side is the foresk<strong>in</strong> <strong>of</strong> space,<br />

Lett<strong>in</strong>g semen through. His cheek tear-silver-flecked,<br />

Man juts forth <strong>in</strong>to Time; man is his own end.<br />

The Eastern end <strong>of</strong> the Empire dives <strong>in</strong>to night —<br />

Throat-high <strong>in</strong> darkness. The coil <strong>of</strong> the <strong>in</strong>ner ear,<br />

Like a snail's helix, faithfully repeats<br />

Spirals <strong>of</strong> words <strong>in</strong> which it seems to hear<br />

A voice <strong>of</strong> its own, and this tends to <strong>in</strong>cite<br />

The vocal chords, but it doesn't help you see.<br />

In the realm <strong>of</strong> Time, no precipice creates<br />

An echo's formal, answer<strong>in</strong>g symmetry.<br />

Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Only when ly<strong>in</strong>g flat on your back<br />

Can you launch, with a sigh, your dry speech toward those<br />

mute,<br />

Inf<strong>in</strong>ite regions above. With a s<strong>of</strong>t sigh.<br />

But the thought <strong>of</strong> the land's vastness, your own m<strong>in</strong>ute<br />

47


Hi'<br />

Brodsky<br />

Size <strong>in</strong> comparison, sw<strong>in</strong>gs you forth and back<br />

From wall to wall, like a cradle's rock-a-bye.<br />

Therefore, sleep well. Sweet dreams. Knit up that sleeve.<br />

Sleep as those only do who have gone pee-pee.<br />

Countries get snared <strong>in</strong> maps, never shake free<br />

Of their net <strong>of</strong> latitudes. Don't ask who's there<br />

If you th<strong>in</strong>k the door is creak<strong>in</strong>g. Never believe<br />

The person who might reply and claim he's there.<br />

XII<br />

The door is creak<strong>in</strong>g. A cod stands at the sill.<br />

He asks for a dr<strong>in</strong>k, naturally, for God's sake.<br />

You can't refuse a traveler a nip.<br />

You <strong>in</strong>dicate to him which road to take,<br />

A w<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g highway, and wish him a good trip.<br />

He takes his leave, but his identical<br />

Tw<strong>in</strong> has got a salesman's foot <strong>in</strong> the door.<br />

(The two fish are as duplicate as glasses.)<br />

All night a school <strong>of</strong> them come visit<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

But people who make their homes along the shore<br />

Know how to sleep, have learned how to ignore<br />

The measured tread <strong>of</strong> these approach<strong>in</strong>g masses.<br />

Sleep. The land beyond you is not round.<br />

It is merely long, with various dip and mound,<br />

Its ups and downs. Far longer is the sea.<br />

At times, like a wr<strong>in</strong>kled forehead, it displays<br />

A roll<strong>in</strong>g wave. And longer still than these<br />

Is the strand <strong>of</strong> match<strong>in</strong>g beads <strong>of</strong> countless days;<br />

And nights; and beyond these, the bl<strong>in</strong>dfold mist,<br />

Angels <strong>in</strong> paradise, demons down <strong>in</strong> hell.<br />

And longer a hundredfold than all <strong>of</strong> this<br />

Are the thoughts <strong>of</strong> life, the solitary thought<br />

Of death. And ten times that, longer than all,<br />

The queer, vertig<strong>in</strong>ous thought <strong>of</strong> Noth<strong>in</strong>gness.<br />

48<br />

Cape Cod Lullaby<br />

gut the eye can't see that far. In fact, it must<br />

Close down its lid to catch a glimpse <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />

Only this way — <strong>in</strong> sleep — can the eye adjust<br />

To proper vision. Whatever may be <strong>in</strong> store,<br />

por good or ill, <strong>in</strong> the dreams that such sleep br<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

Depends on the sleeper. A cod stands at the door.<br />

Translated from the Russian<br />

by Anthony Hecht<br />

49


Interview with Joseph Brodsky<br />

Do you th<strong>in</strong>k that your new book A Part <strong>of</strong> Speech (Farrar, Straus, &<br />

Giroux) marks any particular crossroads <strong>in</strong> your poetic career?<br />

What I really can detect if I look, if I am capable <strong>of</strong> assess<strong>in</strong>g<br />

myself, are simply prosodic shifts, like one from tetrameters<br />

<strong>in</strong>to pentameters, acquir<strong>in</strong>g a bigger sw<strong>in</strong>g, or another one,<br />

away from predom<strong>in</strong>antly pentametric structures. Somewhere<br />

about three or four years ago, I began to drift to someth<strong>in</strong>g like<br />

an accentuated verse, stress<strong>in</strong>g the syllabic element, not the<br />

syllabatonic — return<strong>in</strong>g almost to the slug, a slow speech. Not<br />

exactly slow, but the k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> poem that proceeds without any a<br />

priori music.<br />

Do you attribute the prosodic shifts to anyth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> particular?<br />

It had to do with a very simple th<strong>in</strong>g, a sense that the exist<strong>in</strong>g<br />

meters began to satisfy me less and less and that some different<br />

music entered. Not that I had exhausted the possibilities <strong>of</strong> the<br />

strict meters — s<strong>in</strong>ce one has, at any time, all these temptations.<br />

But there is a certa<strong>in</strong> dom<strong>in</strong>eer<strong>in</strong>g note, or tune, that is go<strong>in</strong>g<br />

through one's m<strong>in</strong>d. It's a very strange th<strong>in</strong>g. I say tune; I can<br />

just as well say noise. In either case, whatever it is, it's not just<br />

exactly a tune, a musical hum. For this hum has a certa<strong>in</strong><br />

psychological overlay. It's an extremely grey area — not grey,<br />

it's a certa<strong>in</strong> frequency, so to speak <strong>in</strong> which you operate and<br />

which, at times, you change. However, at any po<strong>in</strong>t, you just<br />

opt for several th<strong>in</strong>gs. Once you have the experience <strong>of</strong> the<br />

strict meters, you always long to return to them, as well as<br />

deviate from them. At any given po<strong>in</strong>t, you are under the spell<br />

<strong>of</strong> several <strong>of</strong> them. So it is not as though you have really abandoned<br />

the previous prosodic idiom, but you have just departed<br />

from it.<br />

Would you say there was any particular <strong>in</strong>fluence? For <strong>in</strong>stance, Derek<br />

Walcott's work?<br />

50<br />

Interview<br />

[sjo, not really. At that time I hadn't read Derek's work. I th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

what really prompted it a bit, if we talk about the literature, is<br />

that I had read two or three poems by somebody <strong>in</strong> French.<br />

French poetry is technically speak<strong>in</strong>g syllabic. And I realized<br />

that the beat was somewhat . . . well, when you read a poem,<br />

very <strong>of</strong>ten you get a certa<strong>in</strong> prosodic taste <strong>in</strong> your mouth. This<br />

js what happened, I th<strong>in</strong>k, once aga<strong>in</strong>. I must say I was us<strong>in</strong>g<br />

these th<strong>in</strong>gs before, but never <strong>in</strong> such an extensive fashion. I<br />

wouldn't call it a shift, really: neither thematically, nor, <strong>of</strong><br />

course, mentally. It was simply a prosodic alteration, and a<br />

noticeable one at that.<br />

YJhen you start to work on a poem, do you have a form already <strong>in</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d or do<br />

you work from the subject materials toward the form?<br />

I always have, I th<strong>in</strong>k, some sense <strong>of</strong> form. In fact, what I have is<br />

a volume, an idea <strong>of</strong> quantity. It is not exactly a vessel. I have<br />

some sort <strong>of</strong> outl<strong>in</strong>e. I know how many chunks there are go<strong>in</strong>g<br />

to be. I th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>in</strong> some sense I have an image <strong>of</strong> its flesh and I<br />

know more or less how long it is go<strong>in</strong>g to last. Somehow, however,<br />

<strong>in</strong> the course <strong>of</strong> the writ<strong>in</strong>g, it starts to sp<strong>in</strong> itself <strong>of</strong>f, it<br />

extends, expands, or it shr<strong>in</strong>ks.<br />

So the chunks you've been work<strong>in</strong>g with are really dictated by some phonetic<br />

sense <strong>of</strong> rhythm or psychological sense <strong>of</strong> rhythm rather than blocks <strong>of</strong> images?<br />

The former. Very <strong>of</strong>ten you don't have images, and really you<br />

don't have th<strong>in</strong>gs to say. Images, et cetera, are suggested by the<br />

language, <strong>in</strong> the process <strong>of</strong> its deployment. Sometimes th<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

are prompted by rhyme, by what is said before. You've got these<br />

two or three th<strong>in</strong>gs and you th<strong>in</strong>k, well, I should take the next<br />

step. There's always a considerable temptation to make a next<br />

step. And very <strong>of</strong>ten submission to this temptation pays <strong>of</strong>f.<br />

Do you th<strong>in</strong>k these th<strong>in</strong>gs are preserved <strong>in</strong> translation?<br />

The succession <strong>of</strong> images and sometimes the succession <strong>of</strong><br />

thought, the development, the psychology <strong>of</strong> the next step<br />

sometimes are preserved.<br />

51


I<br />

Brodsky<br />

But not the prosody itself?<br />

Sometimes there is an attempt to preserve it; if the translator is<br />

a conscientious person, he will try to imitate the structure.<br />

However, there is a large question that looms over those th<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />

It certa<strong>in</strong>ly <strong>in</strong>volves the biography <strong>of</strong> this or that structure<br />

with<strong>in</strong> various cultures, various languages, various prosodic<br />

traditions. The same structure may mean, imply or allude to<br />

different th<strong>in</strong>gs. I never know whether the nuance — and poetry<br />

is all about nuance, l<strong>in</strong>guistic nuance — really survives. However,<br />

I th<strong>in</strong>k quite a lot <strong>of</strong> a poem survives translation. Besides,<br />

one is not able to say someth<strong>in</strong>g so qualitatively different that <strong>in</strong><br />

translation it could be so utterly lost. Man's capacity for utterances<br />

is somewhat limited: you cannot lose much, even though<br />

you only understand the man <strong>in</strong> half.<br />

In your <strong>in</strong>troduction to Platonov 1 believe you said that the translation necessarily<br />

had to miss Platonov's very special grammatical constructions, which 1<br />

believe you called a back<strong>in</strong>g-<strong>in</strong> operation, a dead end.<br />

A cuneiform, <strong>in</strong> a way.<br />

Do you th<strong>in</strong>k the same k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> loss occurs <strong>in</strong> the translations <strong>of</strong> your poems?<br />

No, because ... well, it occurs, certa<strong>in</strong>ly, but <strong>in</strong> my case it occurs<br />

to a lesser degree than Platonov's because his ma<strong>in</strong> tool, so to<br />

speak, was his texture. That was his ma<strong>in</strong> device. A device that<br />

is really unreconstructable <strong>in</strong> English. Or you can reconstruct it,<br />

but only to a certa<strong>in</strong> extent — beyond this it becomes tedious <strong>in</strong><br />

English. In Russian it's all pleasure.<br />

In addition to the prosodical feature you already mentioned, what do you see as<br />

your ma<strong>in</strong> device?<br />

Well, actually I would say precisely the read<strong>in</strong>ess to submit to<br />

this temptation <strong>of</strong> mak<strong>in</strong>g the next step. That is, when you<br />

th<strong>in</strong>k the subject, emotion, even an image and its implications,<br />

are exhausted, I try to make a next step — to plumb some<br />

impossibility <strong>of</strong> image or <strong>of</strong> sentiment. I tried it once, <strong>in</strong> that<br />

large dialogue th<strong>in</strong>g ("Gorbunov and Gorchakov"), fourteen<br />

hundred l<strong>in</strong>es, and I liked it. For one th<strong>in</strong>g, it was written <strong>in</strong><br />

52<br />

Interview<br />

decima, ababababab, which is bloody monotonous, m<strong>in</strong>dboggl<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>in</strong> itself, every stanza. So any attempt to make a next<br />

stanza was nearly unth<strong>in</strong>kable to me at the time. Also, <strong>in</strong> terms<br />

<strong>of</strong> the argument, the po<strong>in</strong>ts <strong>of</strong> the argument, any cont<strong>in</strong>uation<br />

<strong>of</strong> the conversation seemed to be unth<strong>in</strong>kable. Those characters<br />

couldn't have had anyth<strong>in</strong>g to say to each other. And yet we<br />

know the nature <strong>of</strong> conversations; they always l<strong>in</strong>ger. They<br />

always resume — it's like crickets — <strong>in</strong> the same note they quit<br />

last night. This is one <strong>of</strong> the frighten<strong>in</strong>g powers <strong>of</strong> exchanges,<br />

<strong>of</strong> dialogues. So I was try<strong>in</strong>g to ape those powers ... I can talk at<br />

length about the poem, merely because it is one <strong>of</strong> the most<br />

serious th<strong>in</strong>gs I've ever done <strong>in</strong> my life. I don't th<strong>in</strong>k I'll ever be<br />

able to repeat anyth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a parallel scope because I don't have<br />

any more <strong>of</strong> that patience or whatever it is. That poem displays<br />

one <strong>of</strong> the ma<strong>in</strong> devices — mak<strong>in</strong>g that next step, which seems<br />

a) impossible, b) even unnecessary. Perhaps it's not my ma<strong>in</strong><br />

device, but this is what I respect myself for . . . Pity that the<br />

translation <strong>of</strong> that poem is really nowhere. I struck it out <strong>of</strong> the<br />

book.<br />

The poem seems to <strong>in</strong>vestigate how <strong>in</strong>evitably a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> betrayal or selfbetrayal<br />

got perpetuated. Could you comment on that?<br />

True, and this is one <strong>of</strong> the essential, perennial themes <strong>of</strong><br />

Russian literature. It's all about betrayal. In that respect I th<strong>in</strong>k I<br />

am <strong>in</strong> the tradition — well, more <strong>in</strong> that <strong>of</strong> prose than <strong>of</strong> poetry.<br />

This is the literature or mentality which is considerably poised<br />

by that expectation <strong>of</strong> betrayal. To a certa<strong>in</strong> extent I th<strong>in</strong>k that<br />

it affects the language itself. I suppose I shouldn't venture <strong>in</strong>to<br />

these dark areas. For <strong>in</strong>stance, <strong>in</strong> Russian, however strong an<br />

accusation is, it always has this expectation <strong>of</strong> reversal merely<br />

because, I presume, the words are polysyllabic and are <strong>in</strong>vested<br />

with a great deal <strong>of</strong> phonetics. Also, there is a somewhat selfeffac<strong>in</strong>g<br />

element, merely because there are too many syllables<br />

to take that accusation at face value. That idea <strong>of</strong> reversal, <strong>of</strong><br />

ambivalence, <strong>of</strong> betrayal creeps <strong>in</strong>to the language. We are talk<strong>in</strong>g<br />

now about the nuances. So, <strong>in</strong> Russian, <strong>in</strong> fact, it's easier to a<br />

certa<strong>in</strong> extent to speak with a very poised voice regardless <strong>of</strong><br />

the sentiment. The sentiment may be a straightforward "I<br />

53


Brodsky<br />

approve <strong>of</strong> this" or "I disapprove <strong>of</strong> that." Yet merely because <strong>of</strong><br />

the language, the expression <strong>of</strong> this sentiment is t<strong>in</strong>ged with<br />

ambiguity. There is this slight poise, even poison, I would say. A<br />

reader senses it. You can play on that endlessly — because<br />

nearly every statement reeks with uncerta<strong>in</strong>ty.<br />

Would you say that language is us<strong>in</strong>g its speakers or that its speakers are at<br />

the mercy <strong>of</strong> language?<br />

Both, I presume; although my verdict doesn't count: I am <strong>in</strong> a<br />

peculiar position — that is, I am outside the language, and I<br />

became its observer to a certa<strong>in</strong> extent. Well, a writer is always<br />

an observer. So, his assessment <strong>of</strong> the language is, to say the<br />

least, somewhat biased. However, I would say, we are the victims<br />

<strong>of</strong> our language. Victims, that is, as a nation, and as writers<br />

we are servants. Not that we perfect it — we rather proliferate<br />

it, unwitt<strong>in</strong>gly.<br />

Do you th<strong>in</strong>k the same obta<strong>in</strong>s for English?<br />

To a certa<strong>in</strong> extent the same th<strong>in</strong>g goes for English, but <strong>in</strong> a<br />

different l<strong>in</strong>e <strong>of</strong> regard. English is an analytical language and<br />

does not really allow for much nuance. Or you get circumvential,<br />

Henry Jamesian, to say the least. There is English and<br />

English: Jane Austen and Orwell, on the one hand, and James,<br />

Conrad, and Nabokov on the other. I prefer the Austen/Orwell<br />

tradition. Jamesian English has a sense <strong>of</strong> texture similar to that<br />

<strong>of</strong> Russian. And once you're work<strong>in</strong>g with texture, your statements<br />

get . . . not exactly compromised, but less important —<br />

you are striv<strong>in</strong>g for the cumulative effect. So it depends on<br />

whose English we are talk<strong>in</strong>g about. English perse? Well, there is<br />

no such th<strong>in</strong>g, I th<strong>in</strong>k.<br />

In the title poem "A Part <strong>of</strong> Speech," does the image <strong>of</strong> language as mice refer<br />

to some quality <strong>of</strong> the Russian language?<br />

It refers <strong>in</strong> a way to the phonetics <strong>of</strong> the Russian word for<br />

"future," which phonetically resembles the word for "rodents."<br />

Therefore, I sp<strong>in</strong> it <strong>of</strong>f <strong>in</strong>to the idea that the future, that is, the<br />

word itself, gnaws — or whatever it is, s<strong>in</strong>ks its teeth — <strong>in</strong>to the<br />

cheese <strong>of</strong> memory.<br />

Interview<br />

Time seems to be a constant, recurr<strong>in</strong>g theme throughout your poetry.<br />

This is the only th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the world. It's much more <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g<br />

than space, for <strong>in</strong>stance. Because space is a th<strong>in</strong>g, whereas time<br />

is an idea about th<strong>in</strong>gs, about the Th<strong>in</strong>g. And, if I were to<br />

describe the th<strong>in</strong>g I'm <strong>in</strong>terested <strong>in</strong>, it is what time does to a<br />

man. That's, <strong>in</strong> short, what it's all about.<br />

Do you connect your <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> time with, say, Pasternak's or Mandelslam's?<br />

I don't th<strong>in</strong>k that my notions <strong>of</strong> it are that different from theirs:<br />

they are just human notions <strong>of</strong> time. They simply <strong>in</strong>volve that<br />

rather Christian notion <strong>of</strong> l<strong>in</strong>ear time, that is, not an African<br />

k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>g, a circle or spiral that goes backward. In that<br />

respect we are not altogether different. It's awfully hard, aga<strong>in</strong>,<br />

to assess myself, but I would say I am more <strong>in</strong>terested <strong>in</strong> the<br />

purely abstract notion <strong>of</strong> time. I th<strong>in</strong>k I may safely say that I am<br />

us<strong>in</strong>g the concrete notions <strong>of</strong> time as the po<strong>in</strong>t <strong>of</strong> departure <strong>in</strong>to<br />

the abstract speculation. And what I'm try<strong>in</strong>g to do is to make<br />

these abstract speculations palpable by means <strong>of</strong> imagery, concrete<br />

emblemata, and all those th<strong>in</strong>gs. Sometimes it works.<br />

In "Mexican Divertimento" does the conclud<strong>in</strong>g image <strong>of</strong> the lizard look<strong>in</strong>g up<br />

at a space ship serve as a catapult from the various Mexican emblemata to<br />

some such speculation?<br />

The only th<strong>in</strong>g which I th<strong>in</strong>k is worthwhile to say about that<br />

poem, at least for me, is that the subject was <strong>Mexico</strong> — not<br />

exactly <strong>Mexico</strong>, but one's state <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d, I th<strong>in</strong>k, set aga<strong>in</strong>st the<br />

least congenial background. Or I guess that was the subject. I<br />

was try<strong>in</strong>g to employ the traditional Spanish meters. The first<br />

part about Maximillian starts as a madrigal. The second, "1867"<br />

— that bus<strong>in</strong>ess about Juarez — it's done to the tune <strong>of</strong> a choklo,<br />

that is, an Argent<strong>in</strong>ian tango. "Merida," the third section, is<br />

done <strong>in</strong> the meter that was employed by the greatest Spanish<br />

poet, I th<strong>in</strong>k, ever, Jorge Manrique, <strong>in</strong> the Fifteenth Century.<br />

It's an imitation <strong>of</strong> his lament for his dead father. And "Romancero"<br />

is a traditional Spanish th<strong>in</strong>g, those tetrameters. There is<br />

an approximation to a modern poem <strong>in</strong> that chapter "To Evgeni."<br />

And a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> classical iambic pentameter, a normal, regular<br />

54 55


Brodsky<br />

th<strong>in</strong>g, br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g this home <strong>in</strong> that f<strong>in</strong>al part for the encyclopedia<br />

the "Encyclopedia Entry." After all, it's called a divertimento. It<br />

has to do with fashions, with the styles employed there. It's not<br />

exactly stylization. It's pay<strong>in</strong>g a tribute to the culture <strong>in</strong> question,<br />

so to speak.<br />

I wonder if <strong>in</strong> that poem you have a more public, a broader voice?<br />

Could be, but at the same time I resented that. And I was try<strong>in</strong>g<br />

to subdue it. I was somewhat surprised that The New York Review<br />

<strong>of</strong> Books picked it up, because it is not exactly the most liberal<br />

stance that has been displayed there. I am afraid that it may<br />

have irked some people <strong>in</strong> <strong>Mexico</strong>, because it is somewhat<br />

Evelyn Waughish.<br />

Of all the poems you've written, which are your favorites?<br />

One was written about two or three years ago — "Letters from<br />

the M<strong>in</strong>g Dynasty"; Derek Walcott has translated it. Also, I like<br />

"The Butterfly." I was try<strong>in</strong>g to comb<strong>in</strong>e two th<strong>in</strong>gs, Beckett<br />

and Mozart. Many years ago, <strong>in</strong> Russia, I was after a girl. We<br />

left a concert, a Mozart concert, and she told me as we walked<br />

down the streets, "Joseph, everyth<strong>in</strong>g is lovely about your<br />

poetry," et cetera. "Well, you know that," et cetera, "except you<br />

never execute <strong>in</strong> a poem that lightness and yet that gravity<br />

which Mozart has." And that k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> got me. I remembered that<br />

very well, and I decided to write that butterfly poem. Well, I<br />

hope I managed. Actually, George Kl<strong>in</strong>e did an excellent job<br />

translat<strong>in</strong>g the poem.<br />

Would you comment on the relationship between Christianity and modern<br />

culture? Is your <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> Cavafy <strong>in</strong> any way connected with this?<br />

The relationship between God — well, Christianity, or those<br />

religious th<strong>in</strong>gs — and the modern culture is quite direct: it's<br />

the relation between cause and effect, if you like. If I have those<br />

th<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> my poems, it's merely an attempt <strong>of</strong> the effect to pay<br />

tribute to the cause. It's as simple as that. It's not that I am<br />

exactly religious, not at all. Fortunately or unfortunately, I don't<br />

really know. I don't th<strong>in</strong>k that I belong to any k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> creed. In<br />

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fact, when they asked me <strong>in</strong> the hospital, well, that crucial question,<br />

because everyth<strong>in</strong>g can happen, I felt quite at a loss.<br />

As for Cavafy, and why it's important for me to teach him, I<br />

don't have a one-l<strong>in</strong>e answer. One th<strong>in</strong>g — because I love his<br />

work immensely. I th<strong>in</strong>k he is perhaps the only poet <strong>in</strong> this<br />

century (although this is not what I love him for) who has a k<strong>in</strong>d<br />

<strong>of</strong> clear-cut system, or who at least is faithful to himself, to his<br />

idea <strong>of</strong> what it ought to be. The others, however great they may<br />

be, seem eclectic. But then, after him, everybody looks so.<br />

Therefore, one <strong>of</strong> the advantages <strong>of</strong> study<strong>in</strong>g Cavafy is, you<br />

know what it is the man aims toward, what are the means he<br />

f<strong>in</strong>ds suitable, and what he rejects. This is very important<br />

knowledge for any student <strong>of</strong> literature.<br />

If we reduce it to an extremely pedestrian level, what he tells<br />

you is a very simple tale about ambiguity be<strong>in</strong>g the ancient state<br />

<strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d. This is someth<strong>in</strong>g we fail to perceive, because we th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

that we are the most complicated creatures. And yet you can get<br />

this sensation from somebody as old as Plutarch or Herodotus,<br />

as much as you can get it from Cavafy. However, people don't<br />

read the classics that much these days. To say the least, I th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

that read<strong>in</strong>g Cavafy for the sake <strong>of</strong> sheer historical content may<br />

humble a modern man considerably. Still, as I mention all these<br />

th<strong>in</strong>gs, I am far, very far away, from say<strong>in</strong>g why I like Cavafy.<br />

Well, I presume the ma<strong>in</strong> reason is that note <strong>of</strong> ennui, very<br />

susta<strong>in</strong>ed, which is the essential sentiment <strong>of</strong> a man about life<br />

and which hasn't been displayed until him or after him with<br />

such a constancy <strong>in</strong> poetry. Whereas everyone else who displayed<br />

it would do so <strong>in</strong> a romantic or expressionist key, which<br />

is a betrayal <strong>of</strong> the entire sentiment, Cavafy's poetic operation<br />

was, <strong>in</strong> my view, on the same plane <strong>of</strong> regard as the sentiment<br />

itself.<br />

What about Auden? Why do you like him so much and like teach<strong>in</strong>g him?<br />

Because, for me, there is no better poet <strong>in</strong> either language. Well,<br />

actually, for me, there are two poets — Tsvetayeva, she's a<br />

Russian, and Auden. They are extremely disparate. She is all<br />

tragedy; but they have one th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> common. Both espouse, or<br />

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Brodsky<br />

their poetry espouses, the philosophy <strong>of</strong> discomfort. That is,<br />

almost to the extent <strong>of</strong> "the worse, the better" or, <strong>in</strong> the case <strong>of</strong><br />

Auden, "the more <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g." I'm afraid I may sound almost<br />

like an Englishman. I guess what attracts me to both <strong>of</strong> them,<br />

and especially to Auden, is that k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> a drama which never<br />

manifests itself <strong>in</strong> the dramatic fashion. If anyth<strong>in</strong>g, it manifests<br />

itself <strong>in</strong> the anti-climatic fashion. He was great with that technique,<br />

the anti-climatic technique, just astonish<strong>in</strong>g. This to me<br />

seems to be an extremely noble posture <strong>in</strong> the art <strong>of</strong> letters.<br />

Also I am completely . . . it's a peculiar th<strong>in</strong>g, I th<strong>in</strong>k, for a man<br />

from a different culture to be so taken by a foreign poet. I<br />

seldom derive such an amount <strong>of</strong> joy from read<strong>in</strong>g as I do <strong>in</strong> the<br />

case <strong>of</strong> Auden. It's a real joy, and by say<strong>in</strong>g joy I don't mean just<br />

a pleasure, because joy is a very dark th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> itself. For me he is<br />

a lot more pr<strong>of</strong>ound or "sublime" than anybody else, more so<br />

than Yeats or than Eliot, merely because he does all those th<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

that they aspire to and make a great deal <strong>of</strong> <strong>in</strong> a very oblique,<br />

parenthetical fashion. And this is what I respect a poet for. Well,<br />

I don't really know. Auden himself would certa<strong>in</strong>ly disagree<br />

with that and would boo me for what I'm say<strong>in</strong>g. At one po<strong>in</strong>t I<br />

was bold enough to ... well, it was really because my English<br />

wasn't very good at that po<strong>in</strong>t. I visited him at Christ's Church<br />

<strong>in</strong> Oxford. And suddenly there was that mean<strong>in</strong>gless pause,<br />

because I didn't know how to fill it nor was he will<strong>in</strong>g to fill it<br />

with anyth<strong>in</strong>g. Then I <strong>in</strong>terrupted it by say<strong>in</strong>g, "Wystan, do you<br />

know what I th<strong>in</strong>k? I th<strong>in</strong>k that you and Tom Eliot make one<br />

great English poet." Well, that was the most idiotic th<strong>in</strong>g. He<br />

just gave me a daunt<strong>in</strong>g look.<br />

To teach him — although that could be done a lot better than<br />

I do — for me seems to be almost a natural th<strong>in</strong>g to do. If only<br />

because to deal with him <strong>in</strong> person or <strong>in</strong> verse is the best occupation<br />

one may have on earth. Actually, I consider myself extremely<br />

lucky for that. It's not just luck; it's an astonish<strong>in</strong>gly<br />

generous fate. Because there is noth<strong>in</strong>g better <strong>in</strong> my view <strong>in</strong> the<br />

entire English language than the poetry <strong>of</strong> this man. For me to<br />

talk about him is ... the most sensible and, say, just occupation.<br />

It grows on me the more I read him. It's not just a question <strong>of</strong><br />

language. I can read and reread Eliot or Yeats, for that matter,<br />

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and see the sparks <strong>of</strong> wisdom and pr<strong>of</strong>undity. Yet for me, for all<br />

their beauty, it's a little raw <strong>in</strong> either case, especially <strong>in</strong> the case<br />

<strong>of</strong> Yeats. I must say that I have a great deal <strong>of</strong> admiration for the<br />

raw stuff. Still, Auden, hav<strong>in</strong>g most <strong>of</strong> what they had, possessed<br />

a unique <strong>in</strong>telligence. To say the least, he was really the<br />

first poet who was at home <strong>in</strong> his century, who didn't pretend<br />

he deserved or was dest<strong>in</strong>ed for someth<strong>in</strong>g better. Or worse.<br />

That's a very dignified stance.<br />

Do you feel someth<strong>in</strong>g toward him as Statius does toward Virgil <strong>in</strong> the<br />

Purgatorio?<br />

Ah-huh . . . Exactly. And this is <strong>in</strong> part what helps me to operate,<br />

or justifies my operation, <strong>in</strong> the English language. Somehow<br />

I th<strong>in</strong>k that to work <strong>in</strong> the same language that he did is one<br />

<strong>of</strong> the most demand<strong>in</strong>g — certa<strong>in</strong>ly demand<strong>in</strong>g, no question<br />

about that — one <strong>of</strong> the most challeng<strong>in</strong>g, most reward<strong>in</strong>g<br />

th<strong>in</strong>gs. Well, it's ... I really love him very much. It's someth<strong>in</strong>g<br />

haunt<strong>in</strong>g really, because the more I read, the more. ... As the<br />

narrator <strong>in</strong> Anthony Hecht's poem ("Behold the Lilies <strong>of</strong> the<br />

Field") would remark, "I wish I were like them."<br />

Are you writ<strong>in</strong>g poems <strong>in</strong> English at all?<br />

I've written several. Some <strong>of</strong> them were published. Others<br />

weren't. I'm not aspir<strong>in</strong>g to all that, but when I write prose, I<br />

wonder what would he say — whether he would f<strong>in</strong>d it rubbish<br />

or a sensible th<strong>in</strong>g. Auden was an astonish<strong>in</strong>g critic, among all<br />

the other th<strong>in</strong>gs; he had that peculiar mastery <strong>of</strong> common<br />

sense. And with the exception <strong>of</strong> Orwell, I consider him the<br />

greatest stylist <strong>of</strong> English prose.<br />

Are you writ<strong>in</strong>g more and more prose?<br />

No, not really, no. I wish I had more time, or I wish my time<br />

were better organized, or I wish I could organize it better. Unfortunately,<br />

I am a mess.<br />

Do you have another book <strong>of</strong> poems <strong>in</strong> the works?<br />

There are about two books <strong>of</strong> poems. It depends on what you<br />

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Brodsky<br />

consider a book, how many pages. If you use American standards,<br />

there are about two books ready. However, s<strong>in</strong>ce translation<br />

by def<strong>in</strong>ition lags beh<strong>in</strong>d, poems amass, and you end up<br />

with a fatter book.<br />

Are the poems <strong>in</strong> these untranslated books similar to those <strong>in</strong> A Part <strong>of</strong><br />

Speech?<br />

The shorter poems are quite similar. The longer ones — I don't<br />

know if I can say how different they are. Perhaps they are<br />

worse <strong>in</strong> some sense. Sometimes they are more monotonous.<br />

However, the monotony is always, at least to my eye, deliberate.<br />

I just hope that a reader may grasp it. But he may not, and<br />

then I am <strong>in</strong> trouble. But then aga<strong>in</strong>, so what. Basically, it's<br />

always done for your own . . . whatever it is — for yourself and<br />

the hypothetical alter ego. At any rate, it is for somebody <strong>in</strong>visible.<br />

Perhaps for an angel, for all I know.<br />

Are the poems more didactic?<br />

They are more angelic, I th<strong>in</strong>k. ... So that He understands.<br />

Do you like liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> New York for half a year and <strong>in</strong> Michigan for the other<br />

half?<br />

I do, although I'd rather stay somewhere on the East Coast for<br />

the second semester as well — not necessarily <strong>in</strong> New York, but<br />

on the East Coast. Because it's somewhat claustrophobic over<br />

there <strong>in</strong> Michigan. It's too deep <strong>in</strong>side <strong>of</strong> the cont<strong>in</strong>ent, you see<br />

— like some comma <strong>in</strong> War and Peace, pages and pages to go<br />

either way. I used to live for all my life, or at least for thirty-two<br />

years, by the sea. It's someth<strong>in</strong>g really biological, I th<strong>in</strong>k. Not<br />

that I have fits <strong>of</strong> claustrophobia literally, but the mean<strong>in</strong>glessness<br />

<strong>of</strong> space is really bothersome. But then aga<strong>in</strong> the telephone<br />

<strong>in</strong> Ann Arbor doesn't r<strong>in</strong>g as though it were <strong>in</strong>vented yesterday.<br />

I've noticed that a number <strong>of</strong> your poems, for example, "In the Lake District,"<br />

have comic undertones.<br />

It's a humorous poem. I don't understand what's go<strong>in</strong>g on — not<br />

that I've read that much <strong>of</strong> what people say — but there is a<br />

60<br />

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ereat deal <strong>of</strong> comic undertone, I th<strong>in</strong>k, <strong>in</strong> what I'm do<strong>in</strong>g. Yet<br />

people always ask about the religious significance.<br />

I th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>of</strong> the metaphor <strong>of</strong> the ru<strong>in</strong>s <strong>of</strong> the Parthenon as decay<strong>in</strong>g teeth.<br />

The whole po<strong>in</strong>t is that it is not a metaphor actually. It's very<br />

literal — especially s<strong>in</strong>ce I came to Ann Arbor, with my Russian<br />

dental work, so to speak. It's not dental work, actually, it's<br />

someth<strong>in</strong>g opposite to dental work. I was hav<strong>in</strong>g some trouble,<br />

and friends took me to the doctor. He extracted about five at<br />

once, at one round. I don't really remember how I made it home.<br />

The moment I hit the bed, the postman rang the bell, and there<br />

was a bill. So I almost had the feel<strong>in</strong>g that the doctor was dragg<strong>in</strong>g<br />

my teeth out with one hand and writ<strong>in</strong>g the bill with the<br />

other. But the th<strong>in</strong>g is, the build<strong>in</strong>g I teach <strong>in</strong> is right next to a<br />

dental school, and there are all k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> emblemata and even<br />

statues. Some modern sculpture that manifests the progress <strong>of</strong><br />

this discipl<strong>in</strong>e. Hence the poem.<br />

Comic undertones, then, play an important role <strong>in</strong> your poems . . .<br />

Certa<strong>in</strong>ly. Basically, there are two or three th<strong>in</strong>gs. Russian<br />

poetry as a whole is somewhat serious, and people very seldom<br />

allow themselves cracks. You see, when you write poetry, especially<br />

when you are young, you always know, you always anticipate<br />

that there is some sardonic m<strong>in</strong>d that will laugh at both<br />

your delights and sorrows. So the idea is to beat that sardonic<br />

m<strong>in</strong>d. To steal the chance from him. And the only chance to<br />

steal that from him is to laugh at yourself. Well, I've done that<br />

for a while. Yet irony is an extremely <strong>in</strong>sulat<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>g. It's not<br />

liberat<strong>in</strong>g really, especially if irony is directed, if irony has a<br />

consumer, a designated consumer, that sardonic reader. The<br />

only way to beat the guy, <strong>in</strong> case he does exist — but you better<br />

suspect he does — is by the sublimity <strong>of</strong> the statement or the<br />

importance or gravity <strong>of</strong> it, so he won't be able to sneer. I<br />

proceeded to do those th<strong>in</strong>gs, or I hope I did. The technique <strong>of</strong><br />

laugh<strong>in</strong>g at yourself or mak<strong>in</strong>g cracks stayed with me, and from<br />

time to time I resort to that.<br />

Another th<strong>in</strong>g about irony is that sometimes you resort to it<br />

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Brodsky<br />

just <strong>in</strong> order to avoid a cliche. Say, a rhyme k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> creeps <strong>in</strong><br />

and there is no better one <strong>in</strong> sight. Yet it has a t<strong>in</strong>ge <strong>of</strong> cliche. So<br />

you had better re<strong>in</strong>force it a bit. . . . You may use an assonant<br />

rhyme, and the essence <strong>of</strong> assonance <strong>in</strong> itself is quite ironic..<br />

there are lots <strong>of</strong> tricks. It would be just to say that irony is a<br />

product <strong>of</strong> the language itself, as much as the rest. It's one <strong>of</strong><br />

those th<strong>in</strong>gs, so why not have it <strong>in</strong> the poem? It's a pleasure. But<br />

you shouldn't overdo it, and you should always juxtapose it<br />

with someth<strong>in</strong>g. It should never be a goal <strong>in</strong> itself.<br />

7 th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>of</strong> the l<strong>in</strong>es: "To ask/ the sense <strong>of</strong> ich b<strong>in</strong>, otherwise, is mad. . .<br />

What, qua poet, he ga<strong>in</strong>s; qua man,/ he loses." Those l<strong>in</strong>es to me have a<br />

comic tw<strong>in</strong>ge, but there's someth<strong>in</strong>g very pr<strong>of</strong>ound attached.<br />

That was a nice poem. That was <strong>1965</strong> <strong>in</strong> the village <strong>of</strong> Norenskaya,<br />

a long time ago, fourteen years ago, years past, astonish<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

Do you th<strong>in</strong>k be<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> exile aided your <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> observ<strong>in</strong>g language with<br />

some detachment? And your themes deal<strong>in</strong>g with estrangement?<br />

To be absolutely honest, I th<strong>in</strong>k it did. However, I pretend, and<br />

with good reason, that it didn't, because basically every country<br />

is just a cont<strong>in</strong>uation <strong>of</strong> space. When I came here I told myself<br />

not to make a big deal out <strong>of</strong> this change — to act as though<br />

noth<strong>in</strong>g had happened. And I acted that way. And I still, I th<strong>in</strong>k,<br />

go on. However, for the first two or three years, I sensed that I<br />

was act<strong>in</strong>g rather than liv<strong>in</strong>g. Well, more act<strong>in</strong>g as though noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />

had happened. Presently I th<strong>in</strong>k the mask and the face<br />

have got glued together. I just don't feel it; I can't really dist<strong>in</strong>guish.<br />

I<br />

In terms <strong>of</strong> my <strong>in</strong>terest and the way this change <strong>in</strong>fluenced I<br />

me, I wouldn 1't know u.. mui what 10 to say with conviction. Because certa<strong>in</strong><br />

th<strong>in</strong>gs really eallv happened. liannpno^ I k~- became less nostalgic for certa<strong>in</strong><br />

cultural phenomena, for example, for the idea <strong>of</strong> the avantgarde<br />

<strong>in</strong> art. Presently I th<strong>in</strong>k it's n<strong>in</strong>ety percent bullshit, if not<br />

more. If I had stayed <strong>in</strong> Russia, I would have cont<strong>in</strong>ued to th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

that the theater <strong>of</strong> the absurd is a grand th<strong>in</strong>g. However, I really<br />

don't know. I th<strong>in</strong>k that what makes one change his attitude or<br />

62<br />

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his perceptions is not so much actual experience, an actual taste<br />

<strong>of</strong> this or that th<strong>in</strong>g, but ag<strong>in</strong>g itself. You get less excited. You<br />

don't exactly grow smart, but you get more earthly, so to speak.<br />

In a way it's a damag<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>g because what's required by the<br />

popular version <strong>of</strong> poetry, what's required from the poet, is a<br />

certa<strong>in</strong> elevated state. And I must say that while <strong>in</strong> Russia, I was<br />

<strong>in</strong> general a bit more, how to put it ... ethereal. 1 never was<br />

ethereal, but I had somewhat more ethereal concerns. As I<br />

wrote a poem, I would more <strong>of</strong>ten lapse <strong>in</strong>to that grop<strong>in</strong>g for<br />

the <strong>in</strong>visible. However, that would <strong>of</strong>ten lead me toward a k<strong>in</strong>d<br />

<strong>of</strong> mystical <strong>in</strong>coherence, which even then I despised considerably-<br />

If anyth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> this k<strong>in</strong>d takes place today, it's more precise<br />

and therefore less frequent. Aga<strong>in</strong>, I wouldn't ascribe that to<br />

the change <strong>of</strong> milieu so much. It's due to that noble name for<br />

ag<strong>in</strong>g — maturity; although very <strong>of</strong>ten I feel as uncerta<strong>in</strong> as<br />

when I was n<strong>in</strong>eteen, eighteen. Poetry is the best school for<br />

uncerta<strong>in</strong>ty. As for my attitude toward language, toward my<br />

• language, so far I don't th<strong>in</strong>k anyth<strong>in</strong>g really bad has happened.<br />

On the contrary. At home you use the language <strong>in</strong> haste. You<br />

k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> trust . . . well, you don't trust really, but it's a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong><br />

automatic th<strong>in</strong>g, writ<strong>in</strong>g. For <strong>in</strong>stance, there are lots <strong>of</strong> passages<br />

<strong>in</strong> those poems — although I don't look at them <strong>of</strong>ten because I<br />

just can't bear it — <strong>in</strong> which I see the language has been used<br />

somewhat slovenly. These days I would be more careful, leaner.<br />

J wonder if be<strong>in</strong>g away from one's own language and not hear<strong>in</strong>g so many<br />

compet<strong>in</strong>g voices gives one a different perspective on one's own voice?<br />

Language is an awfully private th<strong>in</strong>g. By be<strong>in</strong>g displaced, you<br />

arrive at the ultimate privacy. It's a fete a tete between you and<br />

your langage. There are no mediators. It certa<strong>in</strong>ly gives you<br />

someth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a boost to hear your language on the street, some<br />

twist <strong>of</strong> phrase, some turn, and so forth. But then aga<strong>in</strong> I th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

that the poet should develop his own idiom. S<strong>in</strong>ce he has his<br />

own way <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g, that is unlike other poets', he also develops<br />

his own way <strong>of</strong> speak<strong>in</strong>g. However, the purpose is to be<br />

more concise with<strong>in</strong> your own idiom. That's some sort <strong>of</strong> a<br />

purpose. I th<strong>in</strong>k be<strong>in</strong>g displaced doesn't obstruct that course <strong>of</strong><br />

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events. For all I know, it just encourages it. When you're writ<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>in</strong> your own language <strong>in</strong> a foreign realm, a peculiar th<strong>in</strong>g starts<br />

to happen. Suddenly there are lots <strong>of</strong> fears — you forget this,<br />

forget that. When you grope for the rhyme and you don't f<strong>in</strong>d<br />

it, you wonder, Jesus Christ, what's happen<strong>in</strong>g? Could it be that<br />

there is no rhyme, or did I forget someth<strong>in</strong>g? Those th<strong>in</strong>gs do<br />

happen. And, well, it's enough to make you nervous. As you are<br />

go<strong>in</strong>g to say someth<strong>in</strong>g, you unleash all the sluices <strong>of</strong> your<br />

l<strong>in</strong>guistic memory, and you try to imag<strong>in</strong>e the alternative ways<br />

<strong>of</strong> say<strong>in</strong>g someth<strong>in</strong>g, which you would not really do while at<br />

home. All <strong>in</strong> all the volume <strong>of</strong> your l<strong>in</strong>guistic operations stays<br />

the same. What susta<strong>in</strong>s the language, I th<strong>in</strong>k, is not so much<br />

speak<strong>in</strong>g as read<strong>in</strong>g. In short, be<strong>in</strong>g out <strong>of</strong> your existential context<br />

helps to w<strong>in</strong>now a cleaner notion <strong>of</strong> yourself, <strong>of</strong> what you<br />

are both physically and l<strong>in</strong>guistically.<br />

Could you suggest some read<strong>in</strong>g for young poets <strong>in</strong> addition to Cavafy and<br />

Auden?<br />

Young poets? I used to be <strong>in</strong> that category for quite a while.<br />

Hardy, <strong>in</strong> the first place. Edw<strong>in</strong> Arl<strong>in</strong>gton Rob<strong>in</strong>son, especially<br />

"Eros Turannos," "Isaac and Archibald," and "Rembrandt to<br />

Rembrandt" — those are quite <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>gs apart from his<br />

shorter poems like "Richard Cory," and that Tilbury Town th<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

We are talk<strong>in</strong>g about Americans presently. Let's th<strong>in</strong>k about<br />

foreigners. I th<strong>in</strong>k read<strong>in</strong>g foreign poetry loosens your imag<strong>in</strong>ation<br />

or your <strong>in</strong>tuition. I would certa<strong>in</strong>ly suggest a Yugoslav,<br />

Vasko Popa. Or there are several great Poles: Czeslaw Milosz<br />

and Zbigniew Herbert, for <strong>in</strong>stance; Herbert especially because<br />

he's so conceptual. It should be fairly easy for an American to<br />

grasp him. "Conceptual" is a bit <strong>of</strong> a put down for Herbert<br />

because he is much more <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g than that. Polish poetry is<br />

extremely rich, and I would add to a read<strong>in</strong>g list poets like . . .<br />

well, there are not that many translations . . . Wyslawa Schymborska,<br />

Stanislaw Grochowiak, Tadeusz Ruzewicz — although<br />

what bothers me about him is what is known as the International<br />

Style. Auden said, <strong>in</strong> our era <strong>of</strong> global uniformity, it's only<br />

<strong>in</strong> poetry that an <strong>in</strong>ternational style is impossible. However,<br />

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Ruzewicz is that k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> a poet, but all the same, quite pr<strong>of</strong>ound.<br />

There was another Polish poet you should read, who was as<br />

eat, j th<strong>in</strong>k, as Baudelaire. Norvid. Cyprian Camille Norvid.<br />

There is a magnificient Czech poet, he's still alive, I hope, a<br />

tremendous man — Vladimir Holan. There's a Pengu<strong>in</strong> collection<br />

<strong>of</strong> his. He's the best possible news on the horizon. Let me<br />

f<strong>in</strong>ish with the East Europeans. Janos Pil<strong>in</strong>szky — his book,<br />

translated by Ted Hughes, has been recently published; however,<br />

they are not the most successful translations. Also, there is<br />

a magnificent Hungarian poet, Miklos Radnoti, whose luck was<br />

real sour. He was killed by the Germans <strong>in</strong> a concentration camp<br />

<strong>in</strong> Yugoslavia. After he was buried, his wife came to the camp.<br />

When they dug the body out — it was a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> common grave<br />

she recognized him by f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> his breast pocket a bunch <strong>of</strong><br />

elegies, written <strong>in</strong> classic alexandr<strong>in</strong>e verse. That's someth<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

As for Germans, there is Ingeborg Bachmann, first and foremost,<br />

and then Peter Huchel. He is a magnificent poet. Well, I'm<br />

sorry for these "magnificent poets," but he really is. And his<br />

friend and contemporary, Gi<strong>in</strong>ter Eich. Huchel is <strong>in</strong> the Michael<br />

Hamburger collection. Paul Celan is also a very good poet. He<br />

committed suicide <strong>in</strong> Paris <strong>in</strong> 1971 or 1970. We shouldn't buy<br />

this th<strong>in</strong>g from Europeans — I mean both we Americans and we<br />

Russians; we shouldn't buy these k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> self-dramatizations.<br />

It's a reversal <strong>of</strong> self-aggrandizement. They really had a rotten<br />

lot, all <strong>of</strong> them <strong>in</strong> this century, those who had the misfortune to<br />

be born <strong>in</strong> the twenties and thirties — the war, et cetera. All the<br />

same, I th<strong>in</strong>k some <strong>of</strong> them were mak<strong>in</strong>g too much <strong>of</strong> their<br />

unhapp<strong>in</strong>ess or catastrophes. They thrived on it <strong>in</strong> a way; they<br />

built their identity around it, unlike Czeslaw Milosz. For a<br />

poet's identity should be built more on strophes than on catastrophes.<br />

. . . Still, Celan. Also, a man I had <strong>in</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d is Georg<br />

Trakl.<br />

For the French, I really don't have any k<strong>in</strong>d words except for<br />

one man I just happened to come across <strong>in</strong> my own, well, silly<br />

and unsystematic read<strong>in</strong>g. Actually, there are two men, who<br />

were m<strong>in</strong>or poets: Rene de Cadoux and Jules Supervielle. I mention<br />

the m<strong>in</strong>or French, because the guys like Reverdy, Rene<br />

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Char, and Michaux — I don't like them. They are quite well<br />

known, and I don't th<strong>in</strong>k there is any po<strong>in</strong>t <strong>in</strong> my mak<strong>in</strong>g propaganda<br />

for them.<br />

I know noth<strong>in</strong>g about poetry <strong>in</strong> Spanish. Except for Jorge<br />

Manrique, Gongora, St. John <strong>of</strong> the Cross, and Machado. In<br />

comparison to Machado, Lorca and others look pale. A very<br />

good Dutch poet is Nijh<strong>of</strong>f. His poem "Awater" is the poem to<br />

reckon with, one <strong>of</strong> the grandest works <strong>of</strong> poetry <strong>in</strong> this century.<br />

It's a completely different th<strong>in</strong>g. This is the future <strong>of</strong><br />

poetry, I th<strong>in</strong>k, or it at least paves the way for a very <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g<br />

future.<br />

The Russians: Tsvetayeva, Mandelstam, Klujev, Zabolotzky.<br />

There is a collection <strong>of</strong> Zabolotzky's, Scrolls, <strong>in</strong> English. For all<br />

the <strong>in</strong>evitable pitfalls <strong>of</strong> translation, you see how avant-garde<br />

he is — imagery alone saves it.<br />

If we have a civilized poetry — not only civilized <strong>in</strong> terms <strong>of</strong><br />

tone, but <strong>in</strong> terms <strong>of</strong> susta<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g civilization — it's Italian poetry.<br />

For one th<strong>in</strong>g, there is Umberto Saba, the man from Trieste, a<br />

traditionalist, but with all k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> devils. Then, Guiseppe Ungaretti,<br />

except I'm afraid he took Mallarme literally — that dictum<br />

that there shouldn't be too many words on the page. And<br />

there are not many. I th<strong>in</strong>k a poem is a poem, and it should have<br />

enough words on the page to make it dark. Otherwise it becomes<br />

tanka-like or haiku-like, which is a very nice th<strong>in</strong>g, but<br />

it's done better by the Japanese themselves, by Basho. Then,<br />

there is, <strong>of</strong> course, Montale. OS lesser known poets, I would<br />

mention Cesare Pavese. There is one book by him which is extremely<br />

crucial for anyone who concerns himself with poetry —<br />

II Mestiere di Vivere (<strong>in</strong> translation, The Burn<strong>in</strong>g Brand: Diaries 1935-<br />

1950). It's a diary or confession. As for the poems themselves,<br />

they have been rather decently translated <strong>in</strong>to English. Also,<br />

there is Zanzotto and that peculiar character Sandro Penna, who<br />

is virtually nonexistent <strong>in</strong> English.<br />

The reason I am suggest<strong>in</strong>g Italians is because <strong>of</strong> their level <strong>of</strong><br />

mental operation, the subtlety. They are quite cultivated because<br />

<strong>of</strong> their education, a solid k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> European education. But<br />

apart from their actual knowledge <strong>of</strong> Greek and Lat<strong>in</strong>, apart<br />

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from the Renaissance texture <strong>of</strong> their actual surround<strong>in</strong>gs —<br />

apart from all this, there is that familiarity with an artifice, that<br />

familiarity with columns as omnipresent as trees. The result <strong>of</strong><br />

such a situation is that artifice is regarded as natural, and vice<br />

versa. I th<strong>in</strong>k we are fairly removed from them, removed enough<br />

to appreciate this k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> sensibility. Perhaps their poetry is not<br />

as good as it seems to us because <strong>of</strong> the ref<strong>in</strong>ement <strong>of</strong> its texture.<br />

This is what we <strong>in</strong> America are somewhat lack<strong>in</strong>g. But one<br />

always pr<strong>of</strong>its from nostalgia. If we are talk<strong>in</strong>g about poetries,<br />

then, while the texture <strong>of</strong> Italian poetry is mostly cultural or<br />

historical, the fabric <strong>of</strong> American poetry is rather anthropological.<br />

It's not that I'm derid<strong>in</strong>g the latter, prais<strong>in</strong>g the former.<br />

The whole po<strong>in</strong>t is that they provide us with someth<strong>in</strong>g to<br />

grope for. And there are examples <strong>of</strong> such grop<strong>in</strong>g motions <strong>in</strong><br />

those magnificent Italian poems <strong>of</strong> Richard Wilbur, Anthony<br />

Hecht, and Stanley Kunitz. In fact, one can make an excellent<br />

anthology <strong>of</strong> American poetry on Italy. It's a poetry <strong>of</strong> a very<br />

hungry eye. This is the way civilization works: by <strong>in</strong>duction.<br />

If I were a young poet, or whatever ... a trooper ... I would<br />

rather read the ancient stuff. I th<strong>in</strong>k no one has a right to touch<br />

paper before he's read Gilgamesh. No one has the right to write <strong>in</strong><br />

the English language without read<strong>in</strong>g the Metamorphoses by Ovid.<br />

The same goes for Homer and for Dante. Before we get to<br />

Dante, there are a lot <strong>of</strong> excellent Romans. I would s<strong>in</strong>gle out<br />

Martial. The Loeb Series is awfully good. There is noth<strong>in</strong>g more<br />

crucial. You should watch some translations, though, because<br />

sometimes Martial comes out sound<strong>in</strong>g like a New York cabby.<br />

And it's really silly. Martial is so multifaceted. He was the worst<br />

possible ass-licker <strong>in</strong> the history <strong>of</strong> poetry. His praise <strong>of</strong> tyrants<br />

is just m<strong>in</strong>d-blow<strong>in</strong>g. Yet I have never read anyth<strong>in</strong>g more<br />

vicious than his epigrams. For their sheer force you should respect<br />

them. Also he is an excellent lyric poet. He was a native <strong>of</strong><br />

Iberia, <strong>of</strong> Spa<strong>in</strong>, and returned there from Rome to settle. In one<br />

poem he looks back on his life <strong>in</strong> Rome. He talks about how half<br />

<strong>of</strong> his life has been covered, and there were good days and bad<br />

days. If we take white pebbles and black pebbles for good and<br />

bad days, he says, there are more black pebbles on the table. If<br />

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you want to live happily, he says to his friend, don't befriend<br />

anybody very closely; thus perhaps there is less happ<strong>in</strong>ess, but<br />

there is less grief. When this k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> message comes from a<br />

millenium ago, it moves you considerably.<br />

In general, one should have his left hand on Homer, the Bible,<br />

Dante, and the Loeb Series, before grabb<strong>in</strong>g the pen with the<br />

right.<br />

All these authors are a lot more important <strong>in</strong> my view than<br />

our contemporaries, if only because the contemporary literature<br />

is the effect <strong>of</strong> that ancient cause. If you want to learn a<br />

pattern <strong>of</strong> metaphoric th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g, read<strong>in</strong>g Ovid is crucial, to see<br />

how this guy animates mythology. Well, <strong>in</strong> his myth about Narcissus<br />

and Echo, Narcissus appears <strong>in</strong> the water, and Echo appears.<br />

She is <strong>in</strong> love with him, but Narcissus sends her away.<br />

And he, well, he just jumps. But when Ovid tells about the grief<br />

<strong>of</strong> Echo . . . It's not that you beg<strong>in</strong> to cry . . . You may cry: it<br />

depends on, well, your k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> nerves. This is such a beautiful<br />

description <strong>of</strong> her reactions, her hesitations. It makes Virg<strong>in</strong>ia<br />

Woolf's stuff sound like a k<strong>in</strong>dergarten. Honestly. This is most<br />

puzzl<strong>in</strong>g: we th<strong>in</strong>k that because today we are present, we therefore<br />

are smarter than those who are absent. From read<strong>in</strong>g the<br />

ancients, we learn that idea is not accurate. It may be true <strong>in</strong><br />

terms <strong>of</strong> technology, but it humbles you a great deal <strong>in</strong> terms <strong>of</strong><br />

poetry.<br />

If I were younger, what I would do is write a book <strong>of</strong> imitations.<br />

It's an old dream <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>e to do a collection <strong>of</strong> sp<strong>in</strong><strong>of</strong>fs,<br />

especially <strong>of</strong> the Alexandrian school, and especially <strong>of</strong> one guy<br />

whom I like best, Leonidas from Tarentum. He is one <strong>of</strong> the<br />

most imag<strong>in</strong>ative guys. I thought about do<strong>in</strong>g such a book, a<br />

k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> small pamphlet. It would have a watercolor <strong>of</strong> some<br />

ru<strong>in</strong>s on the cover, and my name.<br />

Conducted on November 18, 1979<br />

by Eva Burch and David Ch<strong>in</strong><br />

Nicholas Delbanco<br />

Maggie Alone<br />

In her room aga<strong>in</strong>, alone, she beg<strong>in</strong>s to pack — pull<strong>in</strong>g out a<br />

matched set stamped with LV's and open<strong>in</strong>g the luggage<br />

on her bed. She turns on the overhead light. She empties<br />

her six bureau drawers. Maggie works for some m<strong>in</strong>utes with<br />

efficient <strong>in</strong>attention — not sort<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>gs or fold<strong>in</strong>g them but<br />

stuff<strong>in</strong>g each valise until it barely shuts. She fills her cosmetics<br />

case also. Hold<strong>in</strong>g the hair-dryer, however — hav<strong>in</strong>g trouble<br />

with the cord, attempt<strong>in</strong>g to bend and wrap it so the slip-case is<br />

positioned properly — Maggie sees herself reflected <strong>in</strong> the bathroom<br />

vanity console. She stops.<br />

Maggie pats her face as might a bl<strong>in</strong>d person feel<strong>in</strong>g its<br />

contours. The cheekbones are sharp. She wiggles her nose. She<br />

has to concentrate; she snaps the cosmetics case shut. In the<br />

k<strong>in</strong>gdom <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d the one-eyed man is k<strong>in</strong>g. But whom would<br />

she choose for a consort, she wonders, the bl<strong>in</strong>dest <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d<br />

or the one who can dist<strong>in</strong>guish dark from light? This is assum<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

<strong>of</strong> course, that all the women are equally young, equally<br />

rich and attractive and adept <strong>in</strong> bed. She presses the lobes <strong>of</strong> her<br />

ears. The parable does not make this explicit, but it is implicit:<br />

the terms <strong>of</strong> success are sight and sight only — therefore all else<br />

must be equal.<br />

Or perhaps the one-eyed man <strong>in</strong> the region <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d is<br />

damned, not saved by sight. Perhaps he alone can see devastation,<br />

how the landscape around them grows withered and sere.<br />

He <strong>in</strong> all that countryside must meditate on blight. If beauty is<br />

<strong>in</strong> the eye <strong>of</strong> the beholder, and the beholder has no eyes, then<br />

how might such beauty survive? She tries to remember and<br />

cannot remember if the phrase is "country <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d" or<br />

"region <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d" or "k<strong>in</strong>gdom <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d." She busies<br />

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herself, remember<strong>in</strong>g. If she does not remember, Ian and Andrew<br />

conferr<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the kitchen beneath her will w<strong>in</strong>; her problem these<br />

past years has been retentiveness.<br />

Maggie smiles. She touches her teeth. She is retentive<br />

enough, lord knows, but what she reta<strong>in</strong>s makes no sense. She<br />

remembers a man <strong>in</strong> a d<strong>in</strong>er who wore a thick cord sweater and<br />

ordered c<strong>of</strong>fee next to her, clos<strong>in</strong>g his hands on the mug. He<br />

turned to her and confided how he liked sugar first, then cream.<br />

That way the sugar could dissolve at leisure <strong>in</strong> the hot brew.<br />

Most people prefer to have their c<strong>of</strong>fee poured first, and then<br />

they add cream and sugar. But his practice was the reverse. He<br />

had had to expla<strong>in</strong> this, always, to waitresses or people who<br />

<strong>of</strong>fered him c<strong>of</strong>fee. She remembers his theory <strong>in</strong> detail, and the<br />

sensuality with which he praised the sugar's diffusion — the<br />

way it rose to the surface, permeat<strong>in</strong>g everyth<strong>in</strong>g from the<br />

bottom up. For the life <strong>of</strong> her, however, Maggie cannot recollect<br />

the man's name — or the d<strong>in</strong>er, or whether they arrived together<br />

or ever met aga<strong>in</strong>. Perhaps it was no d<strong>in</strong>er but a restaurant or<br />

airport lounge; perhaps the stranger was a dream-transfigured<br />

lover or man <strong>in</strong> a TV commercial.<br />

She does not know. She does not need or care to know; it is<br />

a composition without frame. But she wakes with the taste <strong>of</strong><br />

sugar, the c<strong>of</strong>fee so thick it is viscous, her mother tell<strong>in</strong>g her to<br />

have some manners and not pile her spoon so high or take a<br />

second spoon. The amount <strong>of</strong> sugar that she seems to need is<br />

appall<strong>in</strong>g, it's probably a sugar imbalance, or maybe it's pure<br />

gluttony and will make her fat. Her father tells them never<br />

m<strong>in</strong>d, it's good for the folks <strong>in</strong> Jamaica, and he br<strong>in</strong>gs her sugarcane<br />

to chew.<br />

The Cutlers have maids from Jamaica. Maggie's childhood<br />

is an unend<strong>in</strong>g memory <strong>of</strong> maids — they wear green uniforms<br />

with a white frilled apron. Their names are Netty and Alice and<br />

Gladys and Bess; they meet her <strong>in</strong> the hallway when she comes<br />

home from school. Later, they tell her their troubles. They have<br />

glass <strong>in</strong> their thumbs or p<strong>in</strong>s <strong>in</strong> their hips or seventeen cous<strong>in</strong>s<br />

<strong>in</strong> Runaway Bay and problems with men and rheumatism <strong>in</strong> the<br />

w<strong>in</strong>ters <strong>in</strong> this city made out <strong>of</strong> steel and cement; she might not<br />

believe it but she'll learn. Steel and cement soak up water like<br />

Maggie Alone<br />

nobody's bus<strong>in</strong>ess, and when the w<strong>in</strong>ter comes it gives that<br />

dampness back, that's how a city breathes, that's why it's smart<br />

to wear rubbersoled shoes. She sits at the kitchen table, on a<br />

stool the tw<strong>in</strong> to that which her daughter Jane possesses now,<br />

head cocked, w<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g spaghetti round her fork and smear<strong>in</strong>g<br />

the pasta with ketchup. Or she's ladl<strong>in</strong>g Netty's special sauce<br />

that's orange and milky and just how she likes it; her mother<br />

tries on Saturdays but never can equal the taste or consistency<br />

_- so Netty makes up a batch and they keep it <strong>in</strong> the freezer, just<br />

<strong>in</strong> case.<br />

She attempts to f<strong>in</strong>d <strong>in</strong>struction <strong>in</strong> such scenes. She knows<br />

that <strong>in</strong> Manhattan she will seek psychiatric help, and the help<br />

vvill ask her, at sixty-five dollars an hour, to conjure up that fulltime<br />

help to whom her parents must have paid sixty-five dollars<br />

a week. These are the facts <strong>of</strong> <strong>in</strong>flation, not value. Maggie packs<br />

her boots. She takes four pairs. She evaluates her mother's<br />

absence. It had been easy enough, <strong>in</strong> the years when she wanted<br />

to exorcise Judah, to label him some father-surrogate, some<br />

ratified totem <strong>of</strong> <strong>in</strong>cest with no sexual taboo. It had been easy<br />

but untrue; the two men were the same age but otherwise<br />

unlike.<br />

She knows an analyst might argue that their very opposition<br />

is pro<strong>of</strong> <strong>of</strong> similarity; she's picked her father's opposite<br />

number <strong>in</strong> order to score po<strong>in</strong>ts. But the truth is the two men<br />

were fond <strong>of</strong> each other; they would have gotten along. Maggie<br />

remembers, still, the contrast at her wedd<strong>in</strong>g: Judah huge and<br />

rumpled, her father slight and neat. Mr. Cutler sported a Thomas<br />

E. Dewey moustache that he later enlarged to a beard.<br />

Judah did not travel and her father was unwill<strong>in</strong>g to <strong>in</strong>trude.<br />

He had tried to avoid tak<strong>in</strong>g sides. And s<strong>in</strong>ce their marriage<br />

was cont<strong>in</strong>ually a question <strong>of</strong> which side to take, he'd kept<br />

to the sidel<strong>in</strong>es and covered his eyes; he had welcomed Maggie<br />

when she fled from Judah, first, but urged her to return.<br />

Her mother had been dead by then — had had a heart<br />

attack at fifty-six. There had been no warn<strong>in</strong>g. Maggie remembers<br />

pick<strong>in</strong>g up the phone, and her father's choked announcement<br />

and her disbelief: her mother died at luncheon, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g<br />

tea. "She never knew what hit her," was the phrase her father


Ill<br />

Delbanco<br />

used. Maggie can remember how she pictured some crazed waiter<br />

wield<strong>in</strong>g the tea-pot as a truncheon, wreak<strong>in</strong>g havoc <strong>in</strong> Le Pavilion<br />

and scatter<strong>in</strong>g the customers like chaff. She herself is fiftyfive.<br />

She th<strong>in</strong>ks perhaps the women <strong>of</strong> her family are doomed to<br />

early death. Her mother had been prudent and had paid attention<br />

to her diet and went to exercise class. She was well preserved.<br />

Nor had they been <strong>in</strong>timate — so that Maggie, th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g<br />

back on it, th<strong>in</strong>ks possibly what troubles her now is retrospect<br />

and anger, a punishment for long-masked <strong>in</strong>difference to her<br />

mother's death. She had worn mourn<strong>in</strong>g, comforted her father<br />

and been the dutiful daughter for months. Still, the quick <strong>of</strong> her<br />

rema<strong>in</strong>ed untouched; she could not help half-smil<strong>in</strong>g at a term<br />

like "well preserved"; it reeked <strong>of</strong> candied yams and pickles and<br />

vegetable permanence, not health. She had broken from her<br />

mother with a break so absolute it had appeared to heal.<br />

Yet noth<strong>in</strong>g is that simple, she knows now. No such fracture<br />

mends. She wishes she could spend the time with that<br />

society lady whom <strong>in</strong> that time she wished to avoid. The image <strong>of</strong><br />

her mother — stern-seem<strong>in</strong>g, brittle, sitt<strong>in</strong>g with her long legs<br />

crossed and read<strong>in</strong>g The New Yorker their one summer <strong>in</strong> Vermont<br />

(when first, at thirteen, she'd met Judah; when her family elected<br />

once to take an <strong>in</strong>land holiday but hated it, hated the heat and the<br />

flies and lack <strong>of</strong> salt water and seafood; "We tried," her mother<br />

said. "We gave it every opportunity. You have to give us that.") —<br />

is an image <strong>of</strong> life lost.<br />

But though Maggie now might see herself as her mother's<br />

look-alike and has tried to <strong>of</strong>fer Jane what she herself never<br />

received, her father was not Judah — never was. She loved him<br />

without reservation, but he made her smile. Even <strong>in</strong> his f<strong>in</strong>al<br />

years, liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> retirement <strong>in</strong> Wellfleet and careless <strong>of</strong> his cloth<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

fixated on his Rhodes 19, even <strong>in</strong> his death-bed rant<strong>in</strong>gs the<br />

man was more comic than fierce. The Cutler <strong>in</strong> her had been<br />

banished when she married Judah Sherbrooke, and she wanted<br />

it that way. She put all that beh<strong>in</strong>d her when she entered the<br />

Big House.<br />

72<br />

Maggie Alone<br />

Maggie walked on marble then. Peacock's walkways had<br />

been marble, brought from the quarries at Danby or Proctor, and<br />

the path he laid out through the grounds would sh<strong>in</strong>e <strong>in</strong> the new<br />

moon. The village, too, had had marble sidewalks. North Street<br />

and West Street and Ma<strong>in</strong> Street used the broad, slick stone for<br />

vjng — and s<strong>in</strong>ce there were no streetlights, such sheen was an<br />

advantage. She remembers the bright reach <strong>of</strong> it like wake beh<strong>in</strong>d<br />

a boat, the feel <strong>of</strong> her heels <strong>in</strong> the slight corrugations and how the<br />

fac<strong>in</strong>g had pocked.<br />

But the elders <strong>of</strong> the village thought such grandeur commonplace;<br />

you couldn't give marble away. It was slippery when<br />

wet. It made Elvirah Hayes so nervous she walked <strong>in</strong> the mud by<br />

preference. Agnes Nickerson fell <strong>in</strong> front <strong>of</strong> Morrissey's grocery<br />

store and cracked her knee open and fractured her hip. Samson<br />

F<strong>in</strong>ney said that marble had three uses only: it's useful for statues<br />

and tombstones and s<strong>in</strong>ks.<br />

So two years after Maggie came they cracked up the pav<strong>in</strong>g<br />

or levered it <strong>of</strong>f to the side. They jo<strong>in</strong>ed the state sidewalk<br />

program, gett<strong>in</strong>g cross-walks and poured cement slabs. That was<br />

an improvement, Samson said, though not so good for lawsuits<br />

or the tourist trade. Then tra<strong>in</strong>s stopped com<strong>in</strong>g too. When<br />

Maggie first arrived there had been n<strong>in</strong>e tra<strong>in</strong>s head<strong>in</strong>g north per<br />

day, and n<strong>in</strong>e tra<strong>in</strong>s head<strong>in</strong>g south.<br />

The village is a los<strong>in</strong>g proposition; Samson tells her why.<br />

The price <strong>of</strong> fuel oil and the price <strong>of</strong> gasol<strong>in</strong>e is prohibitive and<br />

gett<strong>in</strong>g worse; real estate's too high. Industry goes south or west<br />

or simply goes bankrupt and quits; the Route 7 bypass won't<br />

work. It will take tourists past the town, not cause them to stop<br />

<strong>of</strong>f and visit; our <strong>in</strong>dustry is tourists now, he says. Half the state<br />

is pay<strong>in</strong>g for the other half to live on welfare; it used to be<br />

seventy-thirty, but now it's half and half. He's seen breadl<strong>in</strong>es<br />

before and hell see them aga<strong>in</strong> if he lives. I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you the<br />

truth, he says, as if she might not otherwise agree; you'll see<br />

fight<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the streets before you see the Welfare System fixed.<br />

Samson has aged. He comes to visit Maggie once a month<br />

and calls her every week; his visits are ceremonial always, and<br />

he br<strong>in</strong>gs a gift for Jane. He is her only visitor and one authentic<br />

73


Delbanco<br />

guest. He sits and rem<strong>in</strong>isces <strong>in</strong> the leather block-chair Judah<br />

liked, the strongest l<strong>in</strong>k to Judah left, tell<strong>in</strong>g his widow how they<br />

would carouse, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g Irish whiskey neat and patt<strong>in</strong>g his lipg<br />

with his tie. "To hell <strong>in</strong> a handcart," he says. "It was Judah's<br />

expression. Or m<strong>in</strong>e. I'm not sure I recall which one <strong>of</strong> us began it<br />

— but every time I'd use the phrase he'd say you mean handcar,<br />

not handcart, and we'd argue over that. Or maybe it was me<br />

who'd say handcar and him who'd say handcart, I can't remember."<br />

Samson bl<strong>in</strong>ks. "It doesn't matter anyhow, it's just an<br />

expression. The world's gone to hell <strong>in</strong> a handcart. Let's celebrate<br />

the world."<br />

His suits are threadbare now, his socks are at his ankles,<br />

and he walks with an umbrella as a cane. In the chair across<br />

from her he scratches at the armrest. "Noth<strong>in</strong>g's what it seems<br />

like any more. You build a road, it hadn't ought to be a one-way<br />

proposition, not only be a bypass and take you somewhere else.<br />

You mark my words," he says, "I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you God's truth."<br />

Ma<strong>in</strong> Street won't be any use to anyone but bicyclists; weeds<br />

will make it to the middle l<strong>in</strong>e and daisies push up through the<br />

cracks. What the state can do to pasture if it puts a highway<br />

through is only one side <strong>of</strong> the co<strong>in</strong>, says Samson; they'll be<br />

graz<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f <strong>of</strong> Ma<strong>in</strong> Street soon enough. He can remember<br />

when the airport was a cabbage field — thirty acres planted <strong>in</strong><br />

red and white alternate sections. Up there from Mount Anthony<br />

it looked like Frederick Matteson was play<strong>in</strong>g checkers<br />

with a giant, he had it planted so perfect. So when the runways<br />

crumble it can be a cabbage field aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />

The town's been good to him; he isn't say<strong>in</strong>g otherwise, and<br />

he's settled someth<strong>in</strong>g on Jane. It won't make her rich, Samson<br />

says. She doesn't need it anyhow, but it makes him feel like<br />

when he's gone he'll keep on go<strong>in</strong>g with that girl; she, Maggie,<br />

mustn't m<strong>in</strong>d. Old men are forgetful, he says, but one th<strong>in</strong>g<br />

they remember is mortality. He, Samson, recollects that clear as<br />

clear. One th<strong>in</strong>g he remembers is the way she looked <strong>in</strong> '38, her<br />

Calamity Jane outfit on and rid<strong>in</strong>g that merry-go-round like it<br />

was an actual horse.<br />

74<br />

Maggie Alone<br />

In the f<strong>in</strong>al months <strong>of</strong> Judah's life, they attended the church<br />

oyster supper. He had been do<strong>in</strong>g so, he said, s<strong>in</strong>ce 1946. It<br />

wasn't the Sherbrooke church, wasn't even local, was twenty<br />

miles <strong>of</strong> dirt road <strong>in</strong>to the next county and down by Hoosac<br />

Falls- But Judah said they served the best oysters, from here to<br />

k<strong>in</strong>gdom come, and it didn't matter where you lived and didn't<br />

much matter what faith you pr<strong>of</strong>essed <strong>in</strong> order to have faith <strong>in</strong><br />

this: Ralph Anderson knew oysters and where to order them<br />

cheap. He, Judah, had cherished raw oysters. He'd be a doubledyed<br />

Baptist on Thursday, he said, if they allowed only Baptists<br />

<strong>in</strong>side; he'd help fence the graveyard where the graveyard fence<br />

fell down; if born-aga<strong>in</strong> Christians got second help<strong>in</strong>gs he'd be<br />

born aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />

But though the congregation had first licks at" the first feed<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

there was always enough to go round. They sold tickets to<br />

the supper six weeks <strong>in</strong> advance. By two weeks thereafter they<br />

were sold out, and Judah was part <strong>of</strong> the list. He'd buy up a<br />

table's worth anyhow, and take his sister Hattie and Samson<br />

F<strong>in</strong>ney and Maggie, if she were will<strong>in</strong>g. If the table was partempty,<br />

so much the better, Judah said, that means there's extra<br />

for us.<br />

The feast was <strong>in</strong> October, and the afternoon was bright.<br />

They waited <strong>in</strong> a pew. Ralph Anderson announced the numbers,<br />

call<strong>in</strong>g them <strong>of</strong>f <strong>in</strong> tens, and meanwhile try<strong>in</strong>g to sell cranberry<br />

bread and fudge and relish <strong>in</strong> the vestibule where the ladies<br />

displayed baked goods. Maggie looked around her and was<br />

shocked. How could they all have grown so fat, she asked herself,<br />

so old <strong>in</strong> the years s<strong>in</strong>ce she'd last attended, so blue-haired<br />

and bedecked with rh<strong>in</strong>estone f<strong>in</strong>ery? The ladies smiled and<br />

nodded. The men waved. The carpenter from Shady Hill had a<br />

new set <strong>of</strong> teeth. His mouth made appreciative separate motions<br />

as he praised the oyster stew. There would be raw oysters, then<br />

stew, then scalloped oysters, then pie. There were mashed potatoes<br />

and squash and rolls and c<strong>of</strong>fee provided gratis, Hattie said,<br />

so all the Baptists had to pay for were the oysters brought north<br />

<strong>in</strong> bulk.<br />

Their numbers were called. She helped Judah downstairs.<br />

He made space for himself, as always, and seemed the largest<br />

75


i<br />

Delbanco<br />

person there, though his gait was shambl<strong>in</strong>g and his bulk had<br />

been reduced. He busied himself, as he did always, assess<strong>in</strong>g the<br />

even<strong>in</strong>g's probable pr<strong>of</strong>it — the total take at five dollars a head,<br />

m<strong>in</strong>us the expenses. He worked out the figures aloud. "Onehundred-thirty-seven<br />

folks at a sitt<strong>in</strong>g," he said. "Four sitt<strong>in</strong>gs,<br />

right? That's five-forty-eight times five. Not count<strong>in</strong>g those<br />

who eat free. They clear fifteen hundred easy, maybe eighteen<br />

hundred, depend<strong>in</strong>g on the freight."<br />

Their waitress knew the Sherbrookes; she filled their water<br />

cups. She told Judah how well he was look<strong>in</strong>g, told Maggie it<br />

was wonderful to have her back aga<strong>in</strong>. She bet Samson he<br />

wished it was g<strong>in</strong>, told Hattie how the day before they'd had a<br />

hepatitis scare and thought they'd have to cancel — how someone<br />

down <strong>in</strong> Chesapeake had called up Adam Chamberla<strong>in</strong> and<br />

said these oysters came from beds the state had put <strong>in</strong> quarant<strong>in</strong>e.<br />

"Not fit for local consumption," she said. "But OK to ship<br />

out <strong>of</strong> state — can you imag<strong>in</strong>e?" So Ralph had been up half the<br />

night check<strong>in</strong>g out the accusation, mak<strong>in</strong>g certa<strong>in</strong> there was<br />

noth<strong>in</strong>g to it, mak<strong>in</strong>g certa<strong>in</strong> what they had were prime-grade<br />

oysters with no question mark attached. "Truth is," she said, "if<br />

I'd have to get sick, this isn't the way I would like to. Catch me<br />

eat<strong>in</strong>g them raw. ..." She shook her head and topped up Judah's<br />

plastic bowl. "Cholesterol," she told him. "Heavy on cholesterol.<br />

That's what oysters are."<br />

Maggie picked and chewed. There were bowls <strong>of</strong> cocktail<br />

sauce and crackers, jugs <strong>of</strong> v<strong>in</strong>egar. The oysters seemed str<strong>in</strong>gy<br />

and thick. She had difficulty swallow<strong>in</strong>g; the mixture adhered to<br />

her throat. Those <strong>in</strong> the group around her asked for second<br />

help<strong>in</strong>gs; Maggie blew her nose. In the next <strong>in</strong>stant, with her<br />

handkerchief still at her mouth, she bl<strong>in</strong>ked to clear her eyes.<br />

She could not see. Then Maggie saw the room as if through<br />

water, with the steel columns kelp and the many- f<strong>in</strong>gered children<br />

wav<strong>in</strong>g at her languidly. There were solemn-eyed strangers<br />

like fish. They snouted up aga<strong>in</strong>st their plates. She shook.<br />

There was coral all around her, and its edges were knife-sharp.<br />

The light above was like the light through water impossibly<br />

deep. She pressed her nose and fought for air.<br />

76<br />

Maggie Alone<br />

Samson had a pocket flask. He uncorked it and poured<br />

whiskey <strong>in</strong> her c<strong>of</strong>fee cup. "Good for what ails you," he w<strong>in</strong>ked.<br />

"It makes Irish c<strong>of</strong>fee, is all." Upstairs the next set <strong>of</strong> celebrants<br />

waited.<br />

Maggie drank. The c<strong>of</strong>fee failed to warm her but it cleared<br />

her sight. That <strong>in</strong>stant she knew she would leave. She'd<br />

thought life with Judah might last. Then when he died she<br />

thought to mourn him <strong>in</strong> the proper context; then she was<br />

pregnant with Jane. In the sixth month <strong>of</strong> her pregnancy she<br />

dreamed nightly <strong>of</strong> escape, but there had been nowhere to go.<br />

Then for a while it seemed that stay<strong>in</strong>g would be pleasant and<br />

convenient; then <strong>in</strong>ertia mounted up and everyth<strong>in</strong>g was stasis<br />

and she could not move.<br />

Yet these faces and bodies repelled her, this white flesh<br />

wander<strong>in</strong>g from feed<strong>in</strong>g-perch to feed<strong>in</strong>g-perch, these up-country<br />

citizens who hated her and would hate Jane. They <strong>in</strong>serted<br />

their teeth after the curried oysters and before the bread. They<br />

were her enemies. Their names were Harr<strong>in</strong>gton and Cooper<br />

and Hall; their names were on the stones outside and would be<br />

<strong>in</strong>cised soon aga<strong>in</strong>. "If this is the salt <strong>of</strong> the earth," she said to<br />

Samson F<strong>in</strong>ney, "I'll go on a salt-free diet." He studied her,<br />

concerned. "They're good folks," Samson said. "They may be<br />

dull and pious and whatnot, but they're law-abid<strong>in</strong>g folk."<br />

Maggie checked her face <strong>in</strong> her p<strong>in</strong>k compact mirror. "Bad<br />

for bus<strong>in</strong>ess," she said. She had tried to humor him but he was<br />

unamused. These people would brand her if they dared, had<br />

branded her <strong>in</strong> their m<strong>in</strong>d's eyes already, would tar and feather<br />

her and run her out <strong>of</strong> town except she owned the town.<br />

This last phrase is theatrical. She does not own the town.<br />

That was be<strong>in</strong>g proved. Nor do they bother her or come to call<br />

except each second Thursday while she hides <strong>in</strong> her room. But<br />

they roil about beneath her like carp after bread; they lurch and<br />

snap and swallow <strong>in</strong>discrim<strong>in</strong>ately. Jane cannot live here, she<br />

knows. Jane will have to leave, as her brother Ian and Maggie<br />

herself had left. When the gong sounded and the five o'clock<br />

set-to arose, shuffl<strong>in</strong>g, scrap<strong>in</strong>g back their chairs, swallow<strong>in</strong>g as<br />

if <strong>in</strong> unison that last chunk <strong>of</strong> lemon mer<strong>in</strong>gue, Maggie thought<br />

77


Delbanco<br />

she would not make it, not climb up the stairs beh<strong>in</strong>d Judah —he<br />

need<strong>in</strong>g no help now but strid<strong>in</strong>g, hands <strong>in</strong> his pockets puff<strong>in</strong>g<br />

out the flannel, fetch<strong>in</strong>g his cigar-case and tell<strong>in</strong>g Samson, "We<br />

might as well have us a smoke."<br />

The men bit cigar-ends and spat. Hattie had excused herself,<br />

drift<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f to visit with the Conovers. Judah and Samson<br />

traded jokes the way they traded cigars. They'd been do<strong>in</strong>g so<br />

for decades, and Maggie scarcely listened, and she wondered if<br />

they listened to each other anymore — they must have known<br />

the repertoire by heart. It wasn't as if they collected jokes or<br />

told them well; it was more a ritual observance, a way <strong>of</strong> stat<strong>in</strong>g<br />

fellowship.<br />

"Did you hear the one?" asked Samson, "about this k<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong><br />

Africa who got himself a modern house with all our Foreign<br />

Aid? So he had this fancy chair, see, with jewels on the headrest<br />

and leopard-sk<strong>in</strong> pillows, and they looked through the picture<br />

w<strong>in</strong>dow and saw it and deposed him. Killed the k<strong>in</strong>g." He<br />

paused; he puffed smoke circles. "Which only goes to prove," he<br />

said. "That people who live <strong>in</strong> glass houses shouldn't stow<br />

thrones."<br />

Judah laughed. He threw back his head and repeated the<br />

punch l<strong>in</strong>e: "Stow thrones." His white hair was fluffy with wash<strong>in</strong>g;<br />

it bunched at the back <strong>of</strong> his neck. He w<strong>in</strong>ked down at Maggie<br />

and asked, "You ever hear that one? Stow thrones."<br />

"She's heard it," Samson said.<br />

They were stand<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the vestibule, and Maggie stepped<br />

outside. She'd brought no wrap because the afternoon was<br />

warm, but now she shivered, wait<strong>in</strong>g. Judah collected his coat.<br />

The lights were on <strong>in</strong> the church, and the park<strong>in</strong>g lot was full, and<br />

cars l<strong>in</strong>ed the dirt road. A policeman waved at traffic, and a<br />

woman <strong>in</strong> a wheelchair waited for a lift. Maggie saw the white .<br />

curl <strong>of</strong> smoke from a chimney to the east, the sickle moon above<br />

her and a far plane, bl<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g. She felt herself so alien <strong>in</strong> this [<br />

country company — so balanced between shame and scorn —<br />

that she began to cry. She licked her lips and tasted salt; she<br />

would weep this way for years.<br />

78<br />

Maggie Alone<br />

She sits. Her luggage tilts towards her, and she steadies it.<br />

cne remembers f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g Judah on the night <strong>of</strong> her return. They'd<br />

been apart for seven years; then he <strong>in</strong>formed her he was dy<strong>in</strong>g<br />

and she took the bus north and stayed. That night he tried to<br />

sleep with her and failed. She fell asleep beneath him and woke to<br />

f<strong>in</strong>d him gone. His departure had been noiseless, and her first<br />

wak<strong>in</strong>g thought (who had slept alone for seven years, or mostly,<br />

stay<strong>in</strong>g with her lovers only on occasion, with Andrew for a<br />

month, liv<strong>in</strong>g with no one but Judah though she lived on Sutton<br />

place and he had never visited) was that she'd dreamed return.<br />

The room had the dim light <strong>of</strong> dream. When she realized that the<br />

weight that fell asleep atop her, seem<strong>in</strong>g to her terrified senses<br />

the weight <strong>of</strong> death arrived to dally, dead weight press<strong>in</strong>g on her<br />

breasts as Judah's proved repro<strong>of</strong> — when she realized that he'd<br />

left her bed but had been an actual presence, and she was <strong>in</strong><br />

Vermont — she woke and rose and followed him and went to<br />

set th<strong>in</strong>gs straight.<br />

He was not <strong>in</strong> the house. She tried each room, from basement<br />

to cupola, not want<strong>in</strong>g to rouse Hattie or signal her alarm.<br />

But she had been alarmed. His clothes were by the bed, for<br />

<strong>in</strong>stance, and she did not know his dress<strong>in</strong>g gowns and coats<br />

sufficiently to know if he'd donned one <strong>of</strong> them; <strong>in</strong> their seven<br />

years apart his wardrobe would have changed. She switched on<br />

every light <strong>in</strong> the house. She looked <strong>in</strong> every closet, <strong>in</strong> the<br />

elevator and the basement, leav<strong>in</strong>g only Hattie's room unlit. The<br />

place seemed huge, illimitable, a cave <strong>in</strong> which she hunted him<br />

but knew there'd be no trace.<br />

She tried the pantry last. The storm door to the back porch<br />

had been <strong>in</strong>securely closed. The door had slipped its latch. She<br />

knew on the <strong>in</strong>stant how Judah escaped; he'd done what she<br />

used to do <strong>of</strong>ten, leav<strong>in</strong>g the Big House beh<strong>in</strong>d, walk<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f the<br />

heat or shame or argument or airlessness <strong>of</strong> life with<strong>in</strong> such<br />

walls. He was out on the land where she never could track him,<br />

where privacy cont<strong>in</strong>ued. He had <strong>in</strong>vited her <strong>in</strong>to the mansion<br />

— <strong>in</strong>vited her <strong>in</strong> 1938 when first they met, when she was lost;<br />

<strong>in</strong>vited her aga<strong>in</strong> a decade later when they met at Morrissey's<br />

grocery by seem<strong>in</strong>g accident which they soon enough, <strong>in</strong> the<br />

silly-sweet aftermath <strong>of</strong> their new nakedness together, agreed to<br />

79


Delbanco<br />

call fore-orda<strong>in</strong>ed; <strong>in</strong>vited her to marry him and enter countless<br />

times thereafter, to come back from Providence, Boston, New<br />

York, to come back then <strong>in</strong> April, 1976, and have the house<br />

declared — <strong>in</strong> Ian's absence, Samson's acquiescent presence,<br />

Hattie's powerless abid<strong>in</strong>g — her own.<br />

Yet the land rema<strong>in</strong>ed utterly his. She owned it outright also,<br />

but she could not br<strong>in</strong>g herself alone to roam its thousand acres<br />

as she did when at his side. So all through the dawn <strong>of</strong> her<br />

first day's return she waited by his exit door, wear<strong>in</strong>g her travel<strong>in</strong>g<br />

clothes, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g c<strong>of</strong>fee <strong>in</strong> the kitchen and huddled to the<br />

stove. The world might be no merry-go-round, nor memory a<br />

carousel — but Maggie was assailed by circularity. He had been<br />

as lost to her when by the elms or sugar-house as she had been<br />

to him before, <strong>in</strong>stalled <strong>in</strong> Manhattan. At eight o'clock that<br />

morn<strong>in</strong>g, while Hattie was stirr<strong>in</strong>g above, when Maggie was on<br />

her third cup and her stomach would not settle, Judah walked <strong>in</strong><br />

from the porch. His step was slow. His lips were blue. His boots<br />

were unlaced, and he had had bits <strong>of</strong> straw all over his duckhunt<strong>in</strong>g<br />

jacket.<br />

"Still here, I see," Judah said.<br />

"Still here."<br />

"Sleep well?"<br />

"No, I didn't. Did you?"<br />

He made no answer, blew on his hands. She rose and<br />

poured him c<strong>of</strong>fee. "Two sugars?"<br />

"Thank you." His hands had been raw. He folded them<br />

around the mug so that she could not see the mug, and steam<br />

rose from his thumbs. They made a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> peace together,<br />

dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g, silent, and it lasted. Later that morn<strong>in</strong>g she did go<br />

outside. She found hay-bales drawn together by the barn, and<br />

some <strong>of</strong> them were loosened where he'd made the hay his pallet<br />

for the night. She'd known (not need<strong>in</strong>g to confirm this by the<br />

match-book ly<strong>in</strong>g there, the few charred stalks and shooks) that<br />

Judah had endured the April watch outside, rel<strong>in</strong>quish<strong>in</strong>g the<br />

house to her for what would prove forever.<br />

But forever was five years. Six months later Judah died, and<br />

six months later their son Ian returned, and six months thereafter,<br />

more or less, Hattie left the Big House and threw herself<br />

Maggie Alone<br />

jnto the pond. Then the circle was complete. Then the hired<br />

man did burn the hay and burn the barn and burn himself,<br />

though drunk and not <strong>in</strong>tend<strong>in</strong>g to, not conscious <strong>of</strong> the carousel<br />

and how his action f<strong>in</strong>ished what her last return began.<br />

Maggie watches herself <strong>in</strong> the w<strong>in</strong>dow. It is deep dark outside,<br />

and the light beh<strong>in</strong>d her renders the pane a mirror; she<br />

studies her own face. The women <strong>of</strong> the house, it seems, are<br />

those who leave, whereas the men rema<strong>in</strong>. She buckles the first<br />

two bags. Forever is five years, she th<strong>in</strong>ks; there's noth<strong>in</strong>g but<br />

death that endures. And short <strong>of</strong> such f<strong>in</strong>ality all action is irresolute.<br />

Judah failed to burn the barn, the hired man survived his<br />

burns,. Ian gutted that honeymoon house — the Greek Revival<br />

shell on the edge <strong>of</strong> their land he'd planned at first to renovate.<br />

But soon enough he left it and returned, his father's son, to<br />

where they both began. Now that she, Maggie, was leav<strong>in</strong>g he<br />

would feel free to marry and start the Sherbrooke l<strong>in</strong>e aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />

She wishes him well. She tells him goodbye. She'd thought that<br />

four years previous she'd said goodbye to Andrew, but he's<br />

dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g downstairs <strong>in</strong> their daughter's presence and about to<br />

eat truite almand<strong>in</strong>e.<br />

jane, pla<strong>in</strong> ]ane, Calamity ]ane, Jane )ane come <strong>in</strong> from the ra<strong>in</strong><br />

— Maggie rests her forehead on the glass. It is cold. She has<br />

wanted to jump. Often <strong>in</strong> the months gone past she'd thought<br />

such pa<strong>in</strong> could not be borne, need not be borne; breath<strong>in</strong>g was<br />

too much to ask. Hattie had quit; she could too. There's noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>in</strong> the pure pla<strong>in</strong> fact <strong>of</strong> last<strong>in</strong>gness to praise. Death lasts beyond<br />

all last<strong>in</strong>gness, so why put pancake make-up on the agel<strong>in</strong>es<br />

<strong>in</strong> her neck?<br />

Jane is the answer, <strong>of</strong> course. She is the s<strong>in</strong>gle reason, and it<br />

suffices. Maggie cannot jump — cannot open the w<strong>in</strong>dow even<br />

for fear <strong>of</strong> the sweet whiff <strong>of</strong> freedom <strong>in</strong> jump<strong>in</strong>g. She tries. She<br />

sits on the bed's edge and writes, us<strong>in</strong>g her yellow notepad and<br />

the toilet case as surface, us<strong>in</strong>g a ball po<strong>in</strong>t pen. "Darl<strong>in</strong>g," she<br />

writes. "I don't expect you to understand now, but maybe later<br />

you'll understand. Keep this letter, please. It will tell you sometime<br />

what you'll want to know — I loved you, love you, will<br />

cont<strong>in</strong>ue lov<strong>in</strong>g you until there's no life left. My death does not<br />

concern you. It should be set apart. It must not worry you. It..."<br />

80 81


Delbanco<br />

Maggie stops. She is not serious. She tries this letter on for<br />

size like an ill-fitt<strong>in</strong>g dress; its l<strong>in</strong>es are not her l<strong>in</strong>es. She takes a<br />

second tack. "The only th<strong>in</strong>g that frightens me is that you'll feel<br />

responsible — not now, I mean not now when Ian and Andrew<br />

will take good care <strong>of</strong> you. I've gone on a trip, they will say.<br />

Remember when we gave you goldfish for your birthday? And<br />

you woke up the next morn<strong>in</strong>g say<strong>in</strong>g you were just so lucky<br />

that the goldfish could be pets? Well they'd died that night — it<br />

happens to fish <strong>of</strong>ten on their way back from Mammoth Mart. I<br />

tiptoed <strong>in</strong> that night to see how you were do<strong>in</strong>g, and they'd<br />

floated to the top. We flushed them down the toilet, Ian and I.<br />

You wouldn't take no for an answer. I had to lie to you — it's<br />

the first time I remember do<strong>in</strong>g that — and pretended they'd<br />

gone for a swim. They were fish that belonged <strong>in</strong> the river but<br />

they'd surely be right back. You went back to sleep, it didn't<br />

seem to bother you. I bothered me. It would bother me if Ian or<br />

your father says that I've gone on a trip."<br />

She takes a second sheet. Her handwrit<strong>in</strong>g is clear. "You<br />

never asked about Judah, so I didn't have to lie. You never knew<br />

him so it wasn't a loss, really, and Ian has been wonderful and<br />

Andrew will be wonderful and everyth<strong>in</strong>g will work out f<strong>in</strong>e. If<br />

you don't feel responsible. I'm old and weak. Go<strong>in</strong>g back to New<br />

York means beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g aga<strong>in</strong>, and I'm not sure I can manage it.<br />

But you must manage it, my darl<strong>in</strong>g."<br />

Maggie stands. She folds the sheets, then tears them twice<br />

and lets the letter drop. She turns <strong>of</strong>f the light and goes out.<br />

82<br />

Elizabeth Weber<br />

Sachertorte<br />

Perhaps this land is too bright,<br />

hills, grass, towns and people<br />

washed to noth<strong>in</strong>g, and we come back<br />

to where we started, not car<strong>in</strong>g<br />

if little Arturio's father<br />

gets drunk and beats him, or Sabriana<br />

has syphilis because after all, this is what<br />

the world is.<br />

And what does it matter<br />

if that founta<strong>in</strong> has stood five hundred years.<br />

That they took n<strong>in</strong>e hundred men<br />

and shot them before the eyes<br />

<strong>of</strong> the village women<br />

say<strong>in</strong>g don't do anyth<strong>in</strong>g, don't try<br />

anyth<strong>in</strong>g. Their blood is gone<br />

and now children run shriek<strong>in</strong>g<br />

their joy.<br />

And this sadness<br />

you drag along like a cat is not sadness.<br />

It is perhaps your blood<br />

craves someth<strong>in</strong>g sweet,<br />

a Sachertorte, a k<strong>in</strong>d word, here or there.<br />

We stra<strong>in</strong> towards someth<strong>in</strong>g<br />

we can name, the light that spr<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

from the founta<strong>in</strong>,<br />

until fields wav<strong>in</strong>g madly disappear<br />

with the th<strong>in</strong> sorrow that keeps us.<br />

83


P. B. Newman<br />

The Light <strong>of</strong> the Red Horse<br />

(Paralysis by Guillian-Barre's Syndrome<br />

She th<strong>in</strong>ks,<br />

pa<strong>in</strong> is like golden z<strong>in</strong>nias<br />

cutt<strong>in</strong>g you with their stiff leaves,<br />

crushed glass <strong>in</strong> your mouth blood.<br />

There are different k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> pa<strong>in</strong>.<br />

There is the blood bit<strong>in</strong>g your lips<br />

<strong>in</strong> childbirth, one pa<strong>in</strong> fight<strong>in</strong>g another,<br />

someth<strong>in</strong>g good.<br />

Then there is the old helpless pa<strong>in</strong>,<br />

evil, unendurable.<br />

The paralysis beg<strong>in</strong>s <strong>in</strong> your left hand.<br />

It draws the nerves together, numb,<br />

and you cannot even p<strong>in</strong>ch. Then<br />

your left foot beg<strong>in</strong>s to st<strong>in</strong>g a little.<br />

There is no p<strong>in</strong>ch like that ceas<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

At first I thought I'll be able to die<br />

and I won't even be able to scream.<br />

My cells remember<strong>in</strong>g themselves,<br />

some promise that<br />

discover<strong>in</strong>g<br />

they drew to a higher level<br />

throw<strong>in</strong>g it all on one gallop.<br />

Like the promise <strong>of</strong> a short life<br />

heavenly green up through the splitt<strong>in</strong>g red.<br />

On horseback.<br />

Indian women squat the child<br />

fight<strong>in</strong>g like the light aga<strong>in</strong>st their eyes<br />

84<br />

squeez<strong>in</strong>g their mouths shut rid<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

A great red horse. Rid<strong>in</strong>g the sun.<br />

You skim the light <strong>of</strong> geraniums<br />

a flam<strong>in</strong>g taste like ajis the children<br />

would taste them though we told them not to.<br />

Rubb<strong>in</strong>g sugar on their lips like babies cry<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

A flame like pepper feel<strong>in</strong>g noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />

though they wipe your lips the blood<br />

runn<strong>in</strong>g where you bit no taste.<br />

The blood runn<strong>in</strong>g where they shaved<br />

you <strong>in</strong> the crotch, your feet <strong>in</strong> stirrups<br />

like a horseman his feet <strong>in</strong> blood fight<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

the sun swell<strong>in</strong>g between your legs<br />

br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g to birth its light.<br />

Pa<strong>in</strong> like carnations<br />

that bites deep <strong>in</strong>to your guts<br />

that s<strong>in</strong>ks roots <strong>in</strong>to your belly and grips<br />

your backbone while your eyes fill with red.<br />

Pa<strong>in</strong> like sky rockets<br />

light open<strong>in</strong>g and burn<strong>in</strong>g more<br />

<strong>in</strong>to the darkness that never burns<br />

that's always cool and slow and deep.<br />

And you fight deeper swimm<strong>in</strong>g deeper<br />

<strong>in</strong> the coolness remember<strong>in</strong>g childbirth<br />

pa<strong>in</strong> your lips bit<strong>in</strong>g and the blood<br />

the rockets tear<strong>in</strong>g and flash<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to<br />

the darkness while you remember<br />

surfac<strong>in</strong>g the light waves pour<strong>in</strong>g<br />

over you and the gulls high and turn<strong>in</strong>g<br />

on the sea w<strong>in</strong>d they hardly moved<br />

their w<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

<strong>in</strong> the dust <strong>of</strong> the salt air beat<strong>in</strong>g<br />

aga<strong>in</strong>st them.<br />

Newman<br />

soar<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to<br />

85


The Light <strong>of</strong> the Red Horse<br />

And the peaceful feel<strong>in</strong>g as your guts tore<br />

and the child came out the last<br />

impossible push it gave and climb<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>of</strong>f your horse you looked down<br />

at the body<br />

not your own the death your life<br />

the child your enemy your gift.<br />

Hathaway<br />

Color<strong>in</strong>g Margar<strong>in</strong>e<br />

On the top step with s<strong>of</strong>t kitchen light<br />

beh<strong>in</strong>d us and dank cellar gloom<strong>in</strong>g below<br />

we sat together knead<strong>in</strong>g the yellow <strong>in</strong>to<br />

white margar<strong>in</strong>e. Older and stronger, you<br />

always got the longest turn, I remember.<br />

Mother's radio was always play<strong>in</strong>g "tunes"<br />

by Percy Faith and his orchestra, I th<strong>in</strong>k.<br />

That was the music we beat and squeezed to,<br />

and it seemed the yellow product tasted better.<br />

I lack patience with the college girl who cuddles<br />

her new kitten <strong>in</strong> my class. She lets it crawl<br />

underneath her sweater, between her terrific<br />

breasts, and because I am weak I force a sickly<br />

smile. This is not <strong>in</strong>nocence, but its cynical<br />

use. I would be labeled cynic if I leveled<br />

a repro<strong>of</strong>, s<strong>in</strong>ce the girls pretend to th<strong>in</strong>k<br />

the cat is cute and the boys are dazzled by her tits.<br />

Could I work this little vignette <strong>in</strong>to the textbook<br />

honesty <strong>of</strong> Cordelia and Kent? Instead<br />

I take a tangent with aimless anecdotes<br />

<strong>of</strong> sibl<strong>in</strong>g rivalry. This kitten, class, and play<br />

do not <strong>in</strong>terest me as much as a memory <strong>of</strong> you<br />

slid<strong>in</strong>g back <strong>in</strong> focus — clutch<strong>in</strong>g our cat<br />

<strong>in</strong> such sweet dishonesty when I came to punch<br />

you back. O you knew my frail honor<br />

would permit me to pound a girl, if she was<br />

sister, but parental rules forbad<br />

the strik<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> that cat. Other th<strong>in</strong>gs come<br />

86 87


Hathaway<br />

back: the time you were spanked too for not<br />

tell<strong>in</strong>g that I alone ru<strong>in</strong>ed Grandmother's fox<br />

with gum. Later, shut together <strong>in</strong> the scary closet<br />

with that dripp<strong>in</strong>g beast, its glass eyes<br />

strangely lit with malice and reproach, we<br />

were as close as we ever were. Your senseless<br />

sacrifice made sense to you, I am sure. Though<br />

I did not understand your female moods,<br />

grown-up talk at table, or the love mush<br />

on the radio. I still don't. Let me confess,<br />

<strong>in</strong> Lear the only character I fully understand<br />

is Edmund. Listen, do you remember what<br />

I'm remember<strong>in</strong>g now: When-e-ver we kiss/<br />

1 wor-ry and won-der/ you're close to me<br />

now/ but whe-re is your he-art?<br />

88<br />

Stephanie Gunn<br />

The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />

The Woman, twenty-n<strong>in</strong>e and lanky, was pregnant once<br />

for eight weeks. That was time enough for the fetus to<br />

have elbows and eye balls. If the Woman ate a green<br />

per <strong>in</strong> a summer salad, the fetus ate the same green pepper.<br />

The Woman called the fetus Carmella. Carmella's father just<br />

walked out the door. He is meet<strong>in</strong>g his wife and three lovely<br />

children <strong>in</strong> Wash<strong>in</strong>gton, D.C., where the five <strong>of</strong> them will fly to<br />

Brazil and stay for years <strong>in</strong> a village fecund with heat and nuts.<br />

There is an American school there. The Man is a pa<strong>in</strong>ter, a great<br />

and heartless pa<strong>in</strong>ter. He will live on an <strong>in</strong>heritance that will<br />

stretch out for years what would go <strong>in</strong> a flash around What<br />

Cheer, Massachusetts and Scrimshaw, New Jersey. He has left<br />

the Woman <strong>in</strong> her house <strong>in</strong> Woodstock, Vermont. In the kitchen.<br />

Do<strong>in</strong>g sixty dishes. He wasn't about to take her with him.<br />

Can't you see the <strong>in</strong>troduction: "Dear, this is my ever-frolick<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

ever-faithful mistress — Posey. She's decided to come along."<br />

A phone call comes to the Woman; she has passed the test.<br />

The Woman is, for this one <strong>in</strong>stant, the happiest she has ever<br />

been <strong>in</strong> her life. The Woman calls the Man on the phone. This is<br />

someth<strong>in</strong>g they agreed that she would never do. But the Woman<br />

senses celebration and, <strong>in</strong> her haste, <strong>in</strong> her total excitement,<br />

she cannot wait. The Man's wife answers the phone. The<br />

Woman asks to speak to the Man. The Man's wife calls him, and<br />

his "Hello" comes clearly on another extension. The Woman<br />

knows that the Man's wife is listen<strong>in</strong>g. The Woman says "Hello."<br />

She hears the Man take <strong>in</strong> a breath <strong>of</strong> surprise, <strong>of</strong> horror,<br />

maybe.<br />

89


Gunn<br />

"I called to tell you that — " the Woman beg<strong>in</strong>s <strong>in</strong> her haste,<br />

<strong>in</strong> her total excitement.<br />

"Listen," the Man <strong>in</strong>terrupts, "Where are you?" The Man is<br />

ask<strong>in</strong>g for time.<br />

"I'm where I usually am. Except that it isn't just me any<br />

more," the Woman replies.<br />

"Oh? George's there?" Who's George? "I'll call you back?"<br />

the Man says.<br />

"You best," the Woman says.<br />

"O.K. Ill do that then." The Man hangs up. Now the Woman<br />

and the Man's wife are on the phone alone, together. The<br />

Woman could tell the Man's wife. Surely she would listen. Surely<br />

she would hear. The Woman has to tell someone. But she<br />

replaces the phone on its cradle. Better not tell the Man's wife,<br />

the Woman supposes. Anyone but her.<br />

The Man calls the Woman the next morn<strong>in</strong>g from a phone<br />

booth <strong>in</strong> Georgetown. "How are you?" he breathes.<br />

"Me? I'm f<strong>in</strong>e . . . but we, you and I, are pregnant."<br />

"Oh Lord. I knew it had to be someth<strong>in</strong>g like that . . . you<br />

nearly told me on the phone yesterday, didn't you? My wife was<br />

listen<strong>in</strong>g, you know. She heard the whole th<strong>in</strong>g. What are you<br />

try<strong>in</strong>g to do?"<br />

"You're yell<strong>in</strong>g at me. I do not need that now." There is<br />

great ticker<strong>in</strong>g, rush<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> long distance.<br />

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to yell. I love you."<br />

"Will you be the father <strong>of</strong> our child?" the Woman asks the<br />

Man.<br />

"I don't see how I can," the Man says quietly.<br />

"You already are," the Woman says quieter.<br />

Til meet you <strong>in</strong> Boston. We'll f<strong>in</strong>d a doctor. I'll take care <strong>of</strong><br />

you," the Man says. And soon after their connection is broken.<br />

In Boston, the Woman and the Man sit closely on a couch <strong>in</strong><br />

a large room with festive wall paper. The Woman is called. She<br />

looks at the Man's eyes. "I will be here," he says. He kisses her<br />

s<strong>of</strong>tly on her lips and she is rem<strong>in</strong>ded <strong>of</strong> wet egg whites. The<br />

Woman rises and, with a group <strong>of</strong> others, is shuffled <strong>in</strong>to a<br />

90<br />

The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />

oom where some expla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g is done. But it's more about what<br />

happened, and how not to have it happen aga<strong>in</strong>, rather than<br />

hat is go<strong>in</strong>g to happen this afternoon. The Woman stands.<br />

"Excuse me? About this vacuum cleaner — what if it gets carried<br />

away? What if my stomach and liver and lungs go along<br />

with " The eyes <strong>of</strong> the herd turn upon the Woman with a<br />

vengeance that would silence the sound <strong>of</strong> even a river that has<br />

run hard and long and blue for many years.<br />

In the bathroom mirror the Woman looks for her image but<br />

sees only a form under a white sheet open at the back, a white<br />

back, eyes she has never seen before, eyes she does not know.<br />

The Woman is led <strong>in</strong>to a small white room where a mobile<br />

hangs above a cushioned white table top. Silver <strong>in</strong>struments<br />

sh<strong>in</strong>e at her. There is air condition<strong>in</strong>g. Not one w<strong>in</strong>dow. The<br />

Woman lies on the table and hikes her naked feet up onto the<br />

cold metal stirrups. A man who knows how to run the mach<strong>in</strong>e<br />

<strong>in</strong> the corner enters. The Woman shakes his hand <strong>in</strong> <strong>in</strong>troduction.<br />

In no time he clamps open her private parts. He tells her<br />

that he is go<strong>in</strong>g to shoot her <strong>in</strong>nermost open<strong>in</strong>g with someth<strong>in</strong>g<br />

that will numb her there. He will shoot <strong>in</strong> a circle four times —<br />

three o'clock, six o'clock, n<strong>in</strong>e o'clock, twelve o'clock. The Woman<br />

cannot th<strong>in</strong>k what he is talk<strong>in</strong>g about. "Will I be here all<br />

day?" she asks his dark head <strong>of</strong> hairs <strong>in</strong>tent between her legs.<br />

"Can I hold your hand?" the Woman asks an assistant who<br />

has just walked <strong>in</strong>.<br />

"Sure, Honey." Her hand is fleshier, older, warmer than the<br />

Woman's. The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner holds tub<strong>in</strong>g, a siphon at Carmella's<br />

mouth. The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner places his foot above a metal<br />

floor pedal and, with the caution <strong>of</strong> one who is at a sew<strong>in</strong>g<br />

mach<strong>in</strong>e, steps on it. The mach<strong>in</strong>e beg<strong>in</strong>s its hum. Carmella,<br />

sucked through see-through tubes, spills <strong>in</strong>to a s<strong>in</strong>k. The Woman<br />

is talk<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> her head. O god forgive me. Carmella forgive<br />

me. And out <strong>of</strong> her head, "What . . . what am I do<strong>in</strong>g . . ." The<br />

women's hands are soak<strong>in</strong>g and tight.<br />

It's O.K., honey. We're two-thirds done. Well count O.K.?<br />

Let's count. Well count to ten together. Come on ... one . . .<br />

two . .. three ... I'm count<strong>in</strong>g with you ..." Carmella, I'm sorry.<br />

Do you hear me, Carmella? CARMELLA DO YOU HEAR ME?<br />

91


Gunn<br />

"Come on now, that's it ... seven, O.K. now . . . n<strong>in</strong>e ... ten<br />

Honey, it's O.K. now . . . it's all over." The Woman th<strong>in</strong>ks, I'm<br />

all over.<br />

The mach<strong>in</strong>e stops. The Woman is undamped. Rocked<br />

from side-to-side like a row boat <strong>in</strong> a wake, someth<strong>in</strong>g is slipped<br />

between her legs, a diaper, she th<strong>in</strong>ks. The Woman is sat forward,<br />

for an <strong>in</strong>stant held, then half-carried to a room where<br />

there are couches where some are ly<strong>in</strong>g and some are sitt<strong>in</strong>g<br />

There are blue blankets and there are p<strong>in</strong>k ones. The Woman<br />

lies down and covers herself with a p<strong>in</strong>k blanket. Sunlight is<br />

yellow through slightly parted curta<strong>in</strong>s. The Woman asks herself,<br />

Why is there no music box music? No music box str<strong>in</strong>g to<br />

pull and hear?<br />

"Shall I tell the Man that you are through?" an assistant<br />

asks.<br />

Am I through? the Woman asks herself.<br />

While <strong>in</strong> her kitchen cutt<strong>in</strong>g sausage to fry, on the morn<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>of</strong> his part<strong>in</strong>g, the Woman asks the Man, "Are you <strong>in</strong> love with<br />

your wife?"<br />

"No," the Man says.<br />

"Are you <strong>in</strong> love with me?" the Woman asks.<br />

"Yes. Yes I am. I should stay with you. But I'm not go<strong>in</strong>g to,<br />

damn it!" he says putt<strong>in</strong>g his fist through the kitchen wall <strong>in</strong>to<br />

the bathroom. This says someth<strong>in</strong>g about the Woman's house,<br />

their passion, as well as what the Woman will be do<strong>in</strong>g after she<br />

f<strong>in</strong>ishes the sixty dishes.<br />

The Man is gone. The Woman has never let him come to<br />

her house before. Where she lived gladly alone before now rem<strong>in</strong>ds<br />

the Woman <strong>of</strong> the Man. They had, for five years, met<br />

once a month <strong>in</strong> places between where they lived. Out <strong>of</strong> the<br />

way places that no one has heard <strong>of</strong>, <strong>in</strong> the hope that no one<br />

would hear. Like Scrimshaw, New Jersey and What Cheer, Massachusetts.<br />

Now that the Man is gone it is somewhat <strong>of</strong> a relief<br />

to say out loud these words they had kept secret, or sacred, as<br />

she preferred to th<strong>in</strong>k. Excuse her while the Woman throws<br />

92<br />

The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />

en her hallway w<strong>in</strong>dow and yells, "What Cheer, Massachuts!"<br />

OU(- <strong>in</strong>to the slippery morn<strong>in</strong>g air. Maybe that will wake<br />

the guy next door who plays "Mack The Knife" on his electric<br />

organ all night, the Woman hopes. It is early. Six-thirty, she<br />

th<strong>in</strong>ks the clock at the end <strong>of</strong> the hall says. The woman has tears<br />

• her eyes and cannot see properly. "Jesus I loved him," the<br />

Woman says. He stayed for three days. The Woman had tears <strong>in</strong><br />

her eyes most <strong>of</strong> the time. She wore a towel over her face. One<br />

night they couldn't go out to d<strong>in</strong>ner. With a towel like that, who<br />

would? The Man held it as if he was scared that if he let go, her<br />

face would slide down <strong>of</strong>f her jaw and leave her skull show<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

The Man had nightmares like that. They prodded him to nuzzle<br />

the Woman <strong>in</strong> her sleep. With her towel-face neither <strong>of</strong> them<br />

could go anywhere. The Woman is not a good cook. Her shopp<strong>in</strong>g<br />

is worse. Unbleached flour and utensils are the only edibles<br />

<strong>in</strong> her kitchen. All else the shelves hold are Ajax, W<strong>in</strong>dex, and<br />

Dra<strong>in</strong>o <strong>in</strong> unbreakable cans and bottles.<br />

The Woman closes the w<strong>in</strong>dow, walks down the hall and<br />

looks <strong>in</strong>to the kitchen. She spies the Dra<strong>in</strong>o. Why not dr<strong>in</strong>k it<br />

for lunch, the Woman suggests to herself, though it is early for<br />

lunch. She sees a piece <strong>of</strong> bathroom through the hole <strong>in</strong> the wall<br />

the Man made with his fist. She looks away. In the hall she<br />

remembers their dance. Hank Williams was on the player. Walk<strong>in</strong>g<br />

the hall to the d<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g room with two forks <strong>in</strong> her hand, the<br />

Woman sensed the Man beh<strong>in</strong>d her, felt the Man's arm come<br />

around her waist. The Man turned the Woman to him. He held<br />

her tightly. She dropped the forks. He leaned back, lift<strong>in</strong>g her<br />

<strong>of</strong>f her feet. She, balanced on his gro<strong>in</strong>, laughed and asked, "Is<br />

this how you danced when you were fifteen?" "I danced any<br />

damn way I pleased," the Man replied, "Like this! And this . . ."<br />

and he illustrated six or seven ways <strong>of</strong> cl<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g and claw<strong>in</strong>g and<br />

hang<strong>in</strong>g, and shift<strong>in</strong>g feet, and his hands were all over her, and<br />

the Woman and the Man had to lie down right there <strong>in</strong> the sunfilled<br />

hallway and hump on the foot-smoothed, warmed, and<br />

wooden floor.<br />

The needle at the record's end went thubub thubub thubub,<br />

and their hearts together, and their stripped cloth<strong>in</strong>g fly-<br />

93


Gunn<br />

<strong>in</strong>g, balloon<strong>in</strong>g about as they swooned and gently thrashed and<br />

thrashed with a rude violence. She took him back to Kansas <strong>in</strong> I<br />

fifty-n<strong>in</strong>e, and he, he took her away <strong>in</strong>to a void, a timeless and<br />

dark place. They had been so ruthless — the vacuum cleaner<br />

the shots, three o'clock, six o'clock, n<strong>in</strong>e o'clock, twelve o'clock<br />

he took her away from all <strong>of</strong> that, far away, away the Woman<br />

went.<br />

The Man stayed <strong>in</strong> a Boston hotel with the Woman for two I<br />

days. Dur<strong>in</strong>g this time the Woman tried to recover herself. The ?<br />

Man sweetly brought her rations <strong>of</strong> thick soups and french I<br />

breads. He stroked her head, he brushed her hair, he soaped her $<br />

<strong>in</strong> the shower and after, towelled her. She felt clots the size <strong>of</strong> I<br />

golf balls slip out <strong>of</strong> her. "Aah!" The Woman would say <strong>in</strong> ter- I<br />

ror, "Carmella's knee caps!" or "Aah! The last <strong>of</strong> Carmella's I<br />

evolutionary tail!" In the morn<strong>in</strong>g a red run-over dog lay on<br />

their white sheets. The Woman believed her womb to be a<br />

deathly place. The truth was, simply, that the Woman would<br />

have cheerfully died. The dead don't care about the liv<strong>in</strong>g. The<br />

woman knew that. And what <strong>of</strong> the unborn, she asked herself.<br />

No, they don't care, either. "Carmella," the Woman started <strong>in</strong><br />

sudden recognition, "Carmella doesn't give a fuck. Never did."<br />

What if the Woman is pregnant for eight weeks. She is<br />

go<strong>in</strong>g to one <strong>of</strong> those rug cleaners to be vacuumed. Two months<br />

is time enough for a fetus to have ears, eyes, nose, arms and<br />

legs, knees and elbows, f<strong>in</strong>gers and toes. The Woman s<strong>in</strong>gs to<br />

herself <strong>in</strong> her house <strong>in</strong> Vermont, "Knees and elbows, f<strong>in</strong>gers<br />

and toes, eyes and nose." The Woman reads <strong>in</strong> a book that the<br />

fetus, at this time, has the face, unmistakably, <strong>of</strong> a human's. She<br />

shuts the book. Her breasts have begun to overflow her bras.<br />

There is a pull<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> her lower abdomen, the gentle tugg<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong><br />

the tadpole rearrang<strong>in</strong>g itself, settl<strong>in</strong>g, multiply<strong>in</strong>g at the rate<br />

evolution has perfected. It is as real to her as a child who already<br />

walks and talks. She knows its face. She calls it Carmella.<br />

94<br />

The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />

The Woman and the Man are sitt<strong>in</strong>g closely on the couch.<br />

. waji paper. The Woman is called. She looks. The Man's<br />

6 5 "I will be here," he says. Kisses her. Wet egg whites.<br />

The Woman lies on the table, naked feet on cold metal<br />

. rups. The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner enters. Clamps her open. Shoots<br />

, three o'clock, six o'clock, n<strong>in</strong>e o'clock, twelve o'clock.<br />

"Can I hold your hand?" the Woman asks the assistant.<br />

"Sure, honey." Fleshier, older, warmer.<br />

The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner holds tub<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> his hand.<br />

"Stop!" screams the Woman. Hooked <strong>in</strong>to metal, she leans<br />

forward. With creases around his eyes, the runner looks at the<br />

assistant. The assistant asks, "What?"<br />

"Unhook me!" The runner and the assistant are wax figures<br />

<strong>in</strong> a science museum. "Please let me go," the Woman says slowly<br />

"Let us go." The runner, cross at lost time, drops <strong>in</strong>struments,<br />

leaves.<br />

"This is very unusual," the assistant allows herself to say.<br />

The woman is pregnant. It has been eight months. She<br />

adores it. She calls it Carmella. Carmella kicks when the Woman<br />

s<strong>in</strong>gs, "F<strong>in</strong>gers and nose, eyes and knees, elbows and toes . . ."<br />

The Man has written the Woman from his foreign village<br />

many times. Many times he has written: "All my love." "All his<br />

love!" The Woman says, "HA!" In his last letter the Man said<br />

that he will come for a visit <strong>in</strong> eight weeks.<br />

What if when he comes there are two <strong>of</strong> us, the Woman<br />

th<strong>in</strong>ks.<br />

The Woman will leave Carmella with that electric organ<br />

player next door. She will fix the Man a meal soaked <strong>in</strong> Dra<strong>in</strong>o<br />

all spiced up. As he chews, as he swallows, as the meal beg<strong>in</strong>s to<br />

take hold <strong>of</strong> the Man, the Woman will run next door to collect<br />

Carmella. Together they will watch the life <strong>of</strong> the Man abandon<br />

his body. They will feel warmth. Carmella will know that her<br />

father is all hers. She will know that one life is <strong>of</strong> great worth,<br />

certa<strong>in</strong>ly worth that <strong>of</strong> another's.<br />

95


Contributors<br />

JOSEPH BRODSKY's new book <strong>of</strong> poetry, A Part <strong>of</strong> Speech, and a<br />

new book <strong>of</strong> essays, Less Than One, will be published this spr<strong>in</strong>g<br />

by Farrar, Straus & Giroux.<br />

FRED BUSCH's newest book, Rounds, was recently published by<br />

Farrar, Straus & Giroux. Hardwater Country, a book <strong>of</strong> short<br />

stories, was published last year by Alfred A. Knopf.<br />

NICHOLAS DELBANCO is the author <strong>of</strong> several novels. "Maggie<br />

Alone" is an excerpt from Stillness (William Morrow & Co.,<br />

1980), which <strong>in</strong>cludes a trilogy beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g with Possession (1977)<br />

and Sherbrookes (1978).<br />

JOHN ENGELS has published three books <strong>of</strong> poetry: The Homer<br />

Mitchell Place, Signals from the Safety C<strong>of</strong>f<strong>in</strong>, and Blood Mounta<strong>in</strong>.<br />

EMERY GEORGE teaches at the University <strong>of</strong> Michigan at Ann<br />

Arbor. His second volume <strong>of</strong> Mikl6s Radnoti translations will<br />

appear later this spr<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

STEPHANIE GUNN once tra<strong>in</strong>ed for the Olympics <strong>in</strong> the high<br />

jump. She now lives and works <strong>in</strong> New York.<br />

WILLIAM HATHAWAY teaches at LSU and has two books <strong>in</strong><br />

pr<strong>in</strong>t from Ithaca House. A third book will be published by the<br />

LSU Press <strong>in</strong> 1981.<br />

ANTHONY HECHT's latest book <strong>of</strong> poems is Venetian Vespers<br />

(Atheneum 1979).<br />

EDMUND KEELEY has just f<strong>in</strong>ished a novel and is work<strong>in</strong>g on<br />

a third and f<strong>in</strong>al edition <strong>of</strong> George Seferis: Collected Poems <strong>in</strong> collaboration.<br />

P. B. NEWMAN teaches at Queens College <strong>in</strong> Charlotte, North<br />

Carol<strong>in</strong>a. His most recent book, The House <strong>of</strong> Saco, won the North<br />

Carol<strong>in</strong>a Poetry Society Award for 1978.<br />

MIKLOS RADNOTI was born <strong>in</strong> Budapest <strong>in</strong> 1909. In November<br />

1944 he was executed <strong>in</strong> a concentration camp. Dur<strong>in</strong>g his life he<br />

published several books <strong>of</strong> translation (<strong>in</strong>clud<strong>in</strong>g the first collec-<br />

. n <strong>of</strong> Apoll<strong>in</strong>aire's poems <strong>in</strong> Hungarian) and six books <strong>of</strong> his<br />

n poetry. The poems published here belong to a new volume<br />

<strong>of</strong> translations by Emery George to be released this spr<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

GEORGE SEFERIS won the Nobel Prize <strong>in</strong> 1964. This poem is<br />

ne <strong>of</strong> a three-poem series which comprised his last book.<br />

PHILIP SHERRARD is the co-translator, with Edmund Keeley,<br />

<strong>of</strong> Angelos Sikelianos: Selected Poems (Pr<strong>in</strong>ceton 1979).<br />

ELIZABETH WEBER is a former w<strong>in</strong>ner <strong>of</strong> the Academy <strong>of</strong><br />

American Poets Prize given by the University <strong>of</strong> Montana at<br />

Missoula. She lives <strong>in</strong> Missoula.<br />

DAVID WOJAHN teaches <strong>in</strong> the Arizona Poets <strong>in</strong> the Schools<br />

program. He is complet<strong>in</strong>g his MFA at the University <strong>of</strong> Arizona<br />

at Tucson.<br />

96 97

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