Wojahn Weldon Kees in Mexico, 1965 - Columbia: A Journal of ...
Wojahn Weldon Kees in Mexico, 1965 - Columbia: A Journal of ...
Wojahn Weldon Kees in Mexico, 1965 - Columbia: A Journal of ...
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<strong>Wojahn</strong><br />
<strong>Weldon</strong> <strong>Kees</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>Mexico</strong>, <strong>1965</strong><br />
Even<strong>in</strong>gs below my w<strong>in</strong>dow<br />
the Sisters <strong>of</strong> the convent <strong>of</strong> Sa<strong>in</strong>t Teresa<br />
carry brown jugs <strong>of</strong> water from a well<br />
beyond a dry wash called Mostrenco.<br />
Today it was hard to waken<br />
and I've been dead to the world for ten years.<br />
They tread the narrow footbridge<br />
made <strong>of</strong> v<strong>in</strong>es and wooden planks, sandals click<strong>in</strong>g:<br />
brown beads and white crosses<br />
between hands that are also brown.<br />
Over the bridge they travel <strong>in</strong> a white-robed l<strong>in</strong>e<br />
like <strong>in</strong>nocent nurses to a field hospital.<br />
Exactly ten. I've marked it on the calendar.<br />
Maria, who speaks no English,<br />
is soap<strong>in</strong>g her dark breasts by the washstand.<br />
'Yesterday she said<br />
she'd like to be a pa<strong>in</strong>ter and sketched<br />
on the back <strong>of</strong> a soiled napk<strong>in</strong>,<br />
a rendition <strong>of</strong> a cholla —<br />
with her lipstick. And laughed,<br />
then drew below each nipple<br />
a smudged rose. <strong>Weldon</strong><br />
would have been repelled<br />
Und fasc<strong>in</strong>ated, but <strong>Weldon</strong> is dead;<br />
I watched him fall to the waves
<strong>Wojahn</strong><br />
<strong>of</strong> the bay, the twelfth suicide that summer.<br />
He would have been fifty-one this year,<br />
my age exactly, and an ag<strong>in</strong>g man.<br />
Still, he would not be a fool<br />
<strong>in</strong> a poor adobe house, unw<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g<br />
a spool <strong>of</strong> flypaper from a hook<br />
above the head <strong>of</strong> his child bride.<br />
When she asks my name, I tell her<br />
I am Richard, a good Midwestern sound.<br />
She th<strong>in</strong>ks Nebraska is a k<strong>in</strong>gdom<br />
near Peru, and I<br />
the exiled Crown Pr<strong>in</strong>ce <strong>of</strong> Omaha.<br />
I've promised to buy her a box <strong>of</strong> pa<strong>in</strong>ts<br />
<strong>in</strong> a shop by my palace <strong>in</strong> L<strong>in</strong>coln.<br />
We'll go back, Maria and I,<br />
with the little Sisters <strong>of</strong> Sa<strong>in</strong>t Teresa<br />
who are just now walk<strong>in</strong>g across the bridge<br />
for water to be blessed at vespers.<br />
Frederick Busch<br />
The Right Address<br />
Idelivered Lenny just as I delivered a hundred or more pieces<br />
<strong>of</strong> mail dur<strong>in</strong>g the war. And I sent the letter that brought<br />
him <strong>in</strong>to mourn<strong>in</strong>g and risk. I wrote it care <strong>of</strong> the school <strong>in</strong><br />
Rome, say<strong>in</strong>g that when our Opel hit the doe, the deer stood<br />
still and the car ricocheted <strong>of</strong>f the road, then across it, and up an<br />
<strong>in</strong>cl<strong>in</strong>e <strong>of</strong> shale. We rolled back, I told him, and then we stopped,<br />
and I was certa<strong>in</strong> that before I fa<strong>in</strong>ted I saw the bone <strong>of</strong> Ariana's<br />
forearm slide through her flannel sleeve.<br />
Lenny Lev<strong>in</strong>e, <strong>in</strong> 1971, was teach<strong>in</strong>g American servicemen's<br />
children abroad because his country had tried to draft him twice,<br />
before he took up teach<strong>in</strong>g and was therefore classified "Essential"<br />
to the national effort. I knew that if he came home he<br />
would <strong>in</strong>vite conscription. But I sent the letter, and five weeks<br />
later he flew from Rome to Boston, rode the bus to Montpelier,<br />
Vermont, saw me <strong>in</strong> the Trailways wait<strong>in</strong>g room and butted me<br />
<strong>in</strong> the chest. Weep<strong>in</strong>g, he said, "I'm here. I'm here."<br />
He wept aga<strong>in</strong>, as I drove us <strong>in</strong> my Volkswagen bus, and he<br />
sniffled at the end <strong>of</strong> the drive, outside Benn<strong>in</strong>gton, at the house<br />
Ariana had bought for us after her mother drowned <strong>of</strong>f Providence,<br />
drunk on white burgundy and widowhood. I fried old ham<br />
and poured neat whisky for us <strong>in</strong> the damp kitchen. Lenny was<br />
lett<strong>in</strong>g his whiskers grow aga<strong>in</strong>; his pale face was framed as if <strong>in</strong><br />
a locket by the sparse red hair and beard. In his greasy suede<br />
sportcoat, he slouched <strong>in</strong> a chair and studied the room, and I<br />
knew he was th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g that if the lights were brighter, he would<br />
see the old canisters Ariana had bought, and the William Morris<br />
wallpaper, the stripped chairs she'd ref<strong>in</strong>ished. Lenny wore the<br />
dimness <strong>of</strong> the room like a quilt, he pulled it upon himself as he<br />
leaned one shoulder at the wall and huddled, peered.<br />
And then as I served us he chattered — because, I guessed.<br />
!• T W\
Busch<br />
he was frightened <strong>of</strong> what he had done, <strong>of</strong> how much safety<br />
he'd renounced, <strong>of</strong> what emotions I'd require. He talked about<br />
Italian girlfriends and war-lov<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>ficers and nuclear artillery<br />
shells and his trip to Venice. "There was this boatload <strong>of</strong> German<br />
tourists on Murano," he told me. "They all marched <strong>in</strong>to<br />
one <strong>of</strong> the fornaci, one <strong>of</strong> the factories where they blow the<br />
glass? I'm stand<strong>in</strong>g there with them, we're all l<strong>in</strong>ed up on a k<strong>in</strong>d<br />
<strong>of</strong> bleacher, three tiers <strong>of</strong> steps, and this sweaty little guy opens<br />
one <strong>of</strong> the ovens — I didn't know they were Germans, did I say<br />
that? So he opens the furnace door and all this heat comes out.<br />
There are these middle-aged people around me <strong>in</strong> very good<br />
lightweight tweeds, and when the oven door opens up, they<br />
sigh. They love it! And I'm stand<strong>in</strong>g with them, and they're moan<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
German tourists always moan when they appreciate someth<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
And all <strong>of</strong> a sudden I th<strong>in</strong>k, wait a m<strong>in</strong>ute, hold it; all<br />
these people are swoon<strong>in</strong>g for an oven. They have to be Germans.<br />
And they had to be there when it happened. They damned<br />
well probably were there. Now, I knew they weren't about to pick<br />
me up and put me <strong>in</strong> the oven — "<br />
"Alice <strong>in</strong> Wonderland," I said.<br />
"What?"<br />
"No, I meant — which one is that? Hansel and Gretel, I<br />
guess. Is that what I meant?"<br />
"What you meant was I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you a lot <strong>of</strong> stories because<br />
I'm afraid you're about to tell me someth<strong>in</strong>g about Ariana."<br />
"More ham?"<br />
"No, no more. More whisky."<br />
"I don't th<strong>in</strong>k so," I said. Not for me. I want to drive tomorrow.<br />
Are you com<strong>in</strong>g with me?"<br />
"Sure. Yes. That's why I'm here."<br />
I was clean<strong>in</strong>g my nails with a par<strong>in</strong>g knife. I looked past<br />
Lenny, along the wall at which he leaned. Lenny turned to look<br />
there, but he could see just a pair <strong>of</strong> muddy black boots, a long<br />
propped shotgun, a corner. "You're here because <strong>of</strong> Ariana," I<br />
said.<br />
"Where are we driv<strong>in</strong>g?"<br />
10<br />
The Right Address<br />
"I've been do<strong>in</strong>g mail runs," I told him. "I go up to Montreal,<br />
sometimes other places. I did Toronto once. I take letters from<br />
people <strong>in</strong> the States. I deliver them to people who didn't want to<br />
get drafted. And then I take mail back. I take it <strong>in</strong>to Vermont,<br />
New York, sometimes New York City. Sometimes I drive to<br />
Boston. Tomorrow I'm go<strong>in</strong>g to Utica, some towns near there.<br />
Would you like to come?"<br />
"That's why I'm back, Bill."<br />
"No it isn't, dammit. Now I want you to tell me the truth."<br />
"But why?"<br />
"Why?" My anger made me feel that if I took a breath and<br />
bellowed, I would say someth<strong>in</strong>g pivotal and salient. But I had so<br />
little to say. And this was my friend, I told myself. This was my<br />
friend; I wanted to tell him I remembered that. And I wanted to<br />
hit him, then. I stood, and I was much bigger than he whether I<br />
stood or sat. I decided to at least tower. And f<strong>in</strong>ally I poured<br />
more whisky for him and said, "F<strong>in</strong>d a bed, Lenny. I'll wake us<br />
up."<br />
"I thought maybe we'd talk a little," he said.<br />
I shook my head. "We did."<br />
So he gave up, f<strong>in</strong>ished his whisky and asked, "Any room's<br />
okay?"<br />
That was a question I'd been wait<strong>in</strong>g for. I took considerable<br />
pleasure <strong>in</strong> say<strong>in</strong>g, "Ariana was sleep<strong>in</strong>g upstairs <strong>in</strong> the<br />
little room, the second door on the right. You're welcome to it."<br />
I enjoyed his silence, and then his little syllable: "Bill?"<br />
"Lenny, goodnight."<br />
But he persevered, and he fooled me. "It was someth<strong>in</strong>g I<br />
used to teach the seniors. Chekhov said, if there's a shotgun at<br />
the beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a story, you should make sure it gets fired by<br />
the end. You remember that?"<br />
"You duck out <strong>of</strong> the army, and all those cannons, Lenny,<br />
and you end up teach<strong>in</strong>g children about shoot<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f shotguns?"<br />
"It's about story-tell<strong>in</strong>g," he said. He looked so dirty <strong>in</strong> that<br />
suede coat, so sparsely haired, so like a gosl<strong>in</strong>g, so lonely <strong>in</strong> a<br />
kitchen he had known at other, brighter, times, that I wanted<br />
suddenly to talk about college and the years afterward <strong>in</strong> New<br />
York, and our long silly drunken conversations, our truer sober<br />
i<br />
11<br />
Hffll
1<br />
Busch<br />
ones. But <strong>in</strong>stead I moved toward the kitchen door and put my<br />
hands above its frame, lean<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> at him, but stay<strong>in</strong>g away I<br />
said, "You do keep on not tell<strong>in</strong>g me what you're tell<strong>in</strong>g me "<br />
Lenny closed his eyes as if he were a stutterer who had to<br />
measure out sound. "Don't do anyth<strong>in</strong>g rash," he said.<br />
That was Lenny: words, little wisdoms, the fear<strong>in</strong>g for the<br />
worst. I heard myself say with great calm, "I had a concussion. I<br />
wasn't conscious. I couldn't tell them. She was out too. Nobody<br />
knew. The bone tore through the sk<strong>in</strong>. They were afraid <strong>of</strong><br />
<strong>in</strong>fection. They gave her a lot <strong>of</strong> penicill<strong>in</strong>. She's allergic to it. I<br />
could have told them. They didn't wake me up to ask. She's<br />
allergic to penicill<strong>in</strong> and she had a reaction. So she died. Her<br />
throat closed. Everyth<strong>in</strong>g closed. Now: you th<strong>in</strong>k, is this it? You<br />
th<strong>in</strong>k I'm go<strong>in</strong>g to take a breech-blocked shotgun that's fifty<br />
years old and put it <strong>in</strong> my mouth and try blow<strong>in</strong>g my bra<strong>in</strong>s out<br />
on account <strong>of</strong> a woman's secret allergy?"<br />
Lenny was pant<strong>in</strong>g as if he had run up the stairs. "I'd consider<br />
it," he said.<br />
"Maybe that's why we're here. Because I know that you<br />
would," I lied. "Would you go to bed now, please? And stop<br />
tell<strong>in</strong>g me Russian stories and German stories and Italian stories<br />
and fairytales and lies?"<br />
It was supposed to be my time <strong>of</strong> griev<strong>in</strong>g, just slightly his,<br />
and we were supposed to understand that and not talk about<br />
what we understood, so he rose and walked to me and squeezed<br />
my arm, and I squeezed his, and then he went up. I knew what<br />
he would do — turn on the lamp <strong>in</strong> the room she'd been us<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
and see the mattress on the floor, its sheets and blankets mounded,<br />
and see no clothes <strong>in</strong> the closet, and see no pictures on the<br />
walls, and no sign <strong>of</strong> Ariana or anyone else. He would stand <strong>in</strong><br />
the room that was abandoned and he would fear to lie on the<br />
mattress. I went upstairs and got <strong>in</strong>to the bed we'd moved from<br />
New York <strong>in</strong> a rented truck, years before. I heard him walk s<strong>of</strong>tly<br />
downstairs to sleep on the liv<strong>in</strong>g room s<strong>of</strong>a. I knew he'd pause on<br />
his way, and stare <strong>in</strong> the darkened kitchen at the shotgun I<br />
would never use. And that was Lenny: he was the man who<br />
<strong>in</strong>dicted me — the man whose <strong>in</strong>dictment I nearly wanted to<br />
12<br />
The Right Address<br />
share — for hav<strong>in</strong>g no desire to load a gun and suck on the<br />
muzzle and make my story neat.<br />
The weather was good for driv<strong>in</strong>g — a low, overcast sky<br />
with little glare on the Albany Northway and New York 20 —<br />
and the driv<strong>in</strong>g was simple and fast. In a New York town called<br />
Schuylerville, we delivered a letter addressed <strong>in</strong> a hand so looped<br />
and dark with effort, we both expected hysterics from the addressee,<br />
Mrs. Adolph Yoder. But she smiled and shook her head,<br />
as if her hidden-out son were a naughty fourth-grader, and<br />
before she read the letter, she served us iced Kool-Aid. "Isn't<br />
this war confus<strong>in</strong>g?" she crooned. At a house on a hill outside<br />
Cooperstown, we slid a letter underneath a door. Circl<strong>in</strong>g back<br />
to Route 20, near an abandoned gas station, at what used to be a<br />
d<strong>in</strong>er, we presented, to a very old unshaven man who chewed<br />
tobacco and didn't speak, three envelopes, numbered <strong>in</strong> sequence<br />
and held together with a h<strong>in</strong>ge <strong>of</strong> mask<strong>in</strong>g tape.<br />
We drove as far south as Norwich on Routes 12B and 12,<br />
stopp<strong>in</strong>g at Deansboro and Madison, where a short woman <strong>in</strong> a<br />
trailer park turned her back and told us to leave the letter <strong>in</strong> the<br />
mailbox outside her mobile home. She said, look<strong>in</strong>g away, "You'd<br />
th<strong>in</strong>k grown men would have a regular job."<br />
Between deliveries, we stopped at bars, eat<strong>in</strong>g kielbas and<br />
pickled eggs and dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g beer, fill<strong>in</strong>g ourselves each time as if<br />
we hadn't stopped before, as if we had performed manual labor<br />
and were emptied. We were driv<strong>in</strong>g north aga<strong>in</strong> when it was<br />
well past dark, and Lenny had told his stories about Salerno and<br />
Lake Como and Rome, and I had told a number <strong>of</strong> stories about<br />
how Ariana had paid for the house and we had lived there, as he<br />
knew on her mother's money, one year rais<strong>in</strong>g two pigs and<br />
kill<strong>in</strong>g them, thereafter plant<strong>in</strong>g a garden each year but keep<strong>in</strong>g<br />
no stock.<br />
On Route 20, outside Madison, I turned onto 12B, and<br />
Lenny said, "That leaves the big envelope for Cl<strong>in</strong>ton."<br />
I said, "That's the last one. But first we pause for replenishment."<br />
13
Busch<br />
"We just did that. Bill."<br />
"I want us to wait a while for the Cl<strong>in</strong>ton delivery. The<br />
woman we're deliver<strong>in</strong>g to doesn't always get home until later<br />
on."<br />
"That's custom-tailored service."<br />
"Service is service," I said.<br />
So we stopped <strong>in</strong> a town called Oriskany Falls, a large crossroads<br />
l<strong>in</strong>ed with shabby small houses that were close together,<br />
many for sale. A long high factory sat on a river that ran through<br />
the town, and its open w<strong>in</strong>dows let out light and the surf-sound<br />
<strong>of</strong> mach<strong>in</strong>es. The street lamps, <strong>in</strong>stead <strong>of</strong> sh<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g the blue-green<br />
radiance <strong>of</strong> highway lamps, cast a hard brown-yellow glare, and<br />
Oriskany Falls was an old t<strong>in</strong>ted photograph at night. Men on the<br />
street wore white undershirts and stared. The women we saw<br />
looked older than the men, but not as old as their children.<br />
At the clapboard Antique Mirror Bar, the only function<strong>in</strong>g<br />
part <strong>of</strong> a closed hotel, we parked the van and walked on stiff legs<br />
with tight necks. Inside, we drank beer <strong>in</strong> a booth across the<br />
large room from an ord<strong>in</strong>ary bar counter backed by customary<br />
mirrors. We looked away from one another at the wallside<br />
booths; we commented on the size <strong>of</strong> the glow<strong>in</strong>g jukebox, the<br />
silence <strong>of</strong> the bartender and his only other patron, a small man<br />
<strong>in</strong> a yellow slicker who drank someth<strong>in</strong>g green at the bar.<br />
"I'd like to commend us," Lenny said. He left the booth and<br />
returned with two double-shots <strong>of</strong> whisky.<br />
I took one and said, "That sounds like the beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a<br />
comment."<br />
"No, it's the beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a commendation. Which is different."<br />
"Not with you, it's not. Let me <strong>in</strong>stead rem<strong>in</strong>d you <strong>of</strong> the<br />
night you became impotent <strong>in</strong> Hanover, New Hampshire. You<br />
remember that? It's a worthwhile recollection, which I prefer to<br />
a commendation, because it is def<strong>in</strong>itely not a comment."<br />
"I was never impotent <strong>in</strong> Hanover, New Hampshire. I was<br />
impotent at a small hotel on Torcello not too long ago, and I was<br />
less than efficient about a year ago <strong>in</strong> the Vaucluse. But never <strong>in</strong><br />
Hanover."<br />
The Right Address<br />
I signalled to the bartender, raised the shotglasses, and he<br />
reluctantly brought more dr<strong>in</strong>ks. "Yes," I said, enjoy<strong>in</strong>g myself.<br />
"Hanover, New Hampshire. You were upstairs with a nurse, the<br />
one who had beautiful brown hair. I was downstairs, I don't<br />
even know whose house it was. We were supposed to spend the<br />
night study<strong>in</strong>g for someth<strong>in</strong>g. A classics course we were flunk<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
I th<strong>in</strong>k. So, you were up there, and all <strong>of</strong> a sudden I heard<br />
you s<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g your sad little song — 'I can't do it!' Right? Remember?<br />
And the nurse you were with, she had amaz<strong>in</strong>g brown<br />
hair, I remember, she screams back, 'Honey, you sure can't!''<br />
Lenny didn't laugh. He nodded, smiled, stopped smil<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
and said, "I would like to commend us."<br />
"I'm not go<strong>in</strong>g to be able to stop you, am I?"<br />
"I'd like — no, you can't. I flew about 97,000 miles to say<br />
this. I'd like to say, we are the only two men I know who can do<br />
this."<br />
I looked at the room.<br />
"And without talk<strong>in</strong>g about her," Lenny said.<br />
He lifted his glass; I held m<strong>in</strong>e onto the table. The door<br />
opened out and the women arrived, enter<strong>in</strong>g s<strong>in</strong>gle-file and <strong>in</strong><br />
silence. They wore red sh<strong>in</strong>y warm-up jackets trimmed <strong>in</strong> white<br />
cloth. On the back <strong>of</strong> each jacket, <strong>in</strong> small and unevenly-applied<br />
white letters, was ORISKANY FALLS KADETTES. Their slacks<br />
were tight on their calves, and they wore ballet flats or sneakers.<br />
The one who carried the largest bowl<strong>in</strong>g ball case, made <strong>of</strong> bright<br />
red plastic, wore curlers <strong>in</strong> her hair beneath a p<strong>in</strong>k translucent<br />
scarf. It was she who went to the jukebox at once and put the<br />
money <strong>in</strong>.<br />
Lenny said, "What year is this?"<br />
"This is where I want to go when I die," he said.<br />
The women stood at the bar and drank beer. They smoked<br />
a lot, quickly dipp<strong>in</strong>g toward their cigarettes to sip the smoke.<br />
And songs I hadn't heard for years came out <strong>of</strong> the wide high<br />
jukebox, and everyone listened to Jerry Lee Lewis and Paul<br />
Anka, to cha-chas and mambos and mostly to songs that required<br />
the Twist and the L<strong>in</strong>dy, or the Jersey Bounce. "This is<br />
better than be<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the world," Lenny said.<br />
14 15
Busch<br />
And then, while the leader towed a taller, th<strong>in</strong>ner woman<br />
by her red sat<strong>in</strong> sleeve, another member <strong>of</strong> the team put more<br />
money <strong>in</strong> the Disney-glow jukebox. The women stood at the<br />
end <strong>of</strong> the table and smiled at Lenny and me with shy but<br />
certa<strong>in</strong> expressions — Only Dance — and each held out a hand.<br />
Without speak<strong>in</strong>g, we moved to the center <strong>of</strong> the room, bobbed<br />
our heads at one another until we agreed to the beat, and then<br />
began.<br />
We thumped on the s<strong>of</strong>t boards <strong>of</strong> the Antique Mirror Bar<br />
with our knees cocked, our elbows locked, eyes avoid<strong>in</strong>g our<br />
partner's. We turned, stamp<strong>in</strong>g, gripp<strong>in</strong>g moist hands, then releas<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
then gripp<strong>in</strong>g aga<strong>in</strong>, pull<strong>in</strong>g hard, each trust<strong>in</strong>g the other<br />
to support the bent weight hang<strong>in</strong>g as we spun, shoulders bang<strong>in</strong>g<br />
down as heels did, to signal or celebrate the rhythm, or the<br />
act <strong>of</strong> danc<strong>in</strong>g, or the silence <strong>in</strong> which we agreed to move.<br />
There was no arrangement for the tenure <strong>of</strong> each dance.<br />
Women <strong>in</strong> red sat<strong>in</strong> jackets walked up as they wished, tapped a<br />
teammate on the shoulder, moved, head nodd<strong>in</strong>g, <strong>in</strong>to the music<br />
and then the dance, and then danced with Lenny or me. The<br />
music was constant, and each <strong>of</strong> the team danced with one <strong>of</strong> us<br />
several times. Lenny and I huffed and blew, but the women,<br />
though sweaty, only smiled or frowned with effort, the women<br />
made no sound. So there was the music <strong>of</strong> the L<strong>in</strong>dy-Hop, the<br />
squeak and shuffle <strong>of</strong> shoes, and the pant<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> men.<br />
The little person at the bar <strong>in</strong> the yellow slicker turned,<br />
twice, to look over his shoulder at us, then went back to his<br />
dr<strong>in</strong>k. The bartender watched a small soundless television set at<br />
the corner <strong>of</strong> his counter, set <strong>in</strong> among beef jerky and potatochip<br />
packets. Chuck Berry roared.<br />
Then the music did stop. Lenny said, "Thank you" to everyone.<br />
No one replied. The women reassembled at the bar, a couple<br />
<strong>of</strong> them nodd<strong>in</strong>g to Lenny and me, one <strong>of</strong>fer<strong>in</strong>g a small wave at<br />
shoulder-height. They worked at their hair and lips, pulled the<br />
hems <strong>of</strong> their red sat<strong>in</strong> jackets, the cuffs <strong>of</strong> their sleeves, and<br />
then, each retriev<strong>in</strong>g a bowl<strong>in</strong>g ball case from the floor among<br />
bar stools, they left.<br />
"The guys are com<strong>in</strong>g home from the 4 to 12 shift," I<br />
guessed. "They 11 make d<strong>in</strong>ner for them now."<br />
16<br />
The Right Address<br />
"I believe it," Lenny said. "1 believe anyth<strong>in</strong>g."<br />
From outside the partly-open door, a woman called, "You're<br />
welcome, boys," and the team giggled as the door closed.<br />
Lenny said, "I believe it."<br />
I brought dr<strong>in</strong>ks from the bar, and we sat <strong>in</strong> the booth,<br />
sweat<strong>in</strong>g, pour<strong>in</strong>g cold beer and chas<strong>in</strong>g it with warm whisky.<br />
"There are nights like this, anyth<strong>in</strong>g like this," I said, "and some<br />
fish<strong>in</strong>g, and sometimes I go out with a gun that isn't breechblocked<br />
and I shoot someth<strong>in</strong>g, and sometimes I see a couple <strong>of</strong><br />
movies <strong>in</strong> a row."<br />
"And then go home and watch another movie on TV until<br />
you fall asleep?"<br />
"Unless it's a sad one. I turn them <strong>of</strong>f."<br />
"Right," Lenny said, "or an <strong>of</strong>fensively happy one. Right?<br />
For me, anyway. If Gene Kelly starts <strong>in</strong> kiss<strong>in</strong>g her, and she<br />
smiles with tears <strong>in</strong> her eyes, then I fall apart."<br />
I put my hand on Lenny's wrist, squeezed it, released it,<br />
wiped my mouth, and said, "That's all I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you, Lenny. Fill<br />
<strong>in</strong> the rest. You know me well enough, all right? That's all <strong>of</strong> the<br />
details for now."<br />
"We can do that," Lenny said. "You and I are the only guys I<br />
know — you know that wasn't true about Hanover, I don't<br />
remember that at all. And the time I was talk<strong>in</strong>g about on Torcello<br />
didn't happen. I never stayed on Torcello. It happened <strong>in</strong><br />
Rome. After I got your letter, about the crash."<br />
"That did it to you? Are you surprised I'm not surprised?"<br />
His pale face reddened, and I thought he might cry once<br />
more. But he said, "I wonder if this wouldn't be a good time to<br />
deliver the last letter."<br />
"Oh, f<strong>in</strong>e. F<strong>in</strong>e. You don't care about sleep<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the van, do<br />
you?" I was almost sorry, then, for hav<strong>in</strong>g written to him. But<br />
there was, as he had po<strong>in</strong>ted out, the last delivery.<br />
"One more dr<strong>in</strong>k and I can sleep on the ro<strong>of</strong>," he said.<br />
"You probably won't have to."<br />
We stood <strong>in</strong> the Antique Mirror Bar and waved at the bartender,<br />
who didn't wave back. "Nobody answers you <strong>in</strong> this part<br />
<strong>of</strong> the country," Lenny said. "Have you noticed that? They do<br />
17<br />
II
Busch<br />
not perform the little motions <strong>of</strong> grace to strangers around<br />
here. I believe they live on human flesh."<br />
The little man <strong>in</strong> the slicker, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g his green fluids, called<br />
"You be careful, boys."<br />
I said, "You too."<br />
"Oh, hell," the little man said, "I always am. You don't see<br />
me churn<strong>in</strong>g around with no half a dozen girls <strong>in</strong> pajama tops "<br />
So at half past midnight, pitch<strong>in</strong>g up hill roads <strong>in</strong> a northeast<br />
backwater, Lenny call<strong>in</strong>g out names on rural mailboxes, as<br />
if I didn't know where to go, we came to the small farmhouse on<br />
the broad pla<strong>in</strong> that sat above the valley we'd driven through.<br />
Route 12B below gleamed grey <strong>in</strong> hard moonlight and looked<br />
like a nail that lay on a board. Up there, the land was silage crop,<br />
golden even at night with the com<strong>in</strong>g-on <strong>of</strong> autumn, blown by<br />
steady w<strong>in</strong>ds. The house was at a crossroads, <strong>in</strong> a square <strong>of</strong><br />
shaved lawn, flanked by bald<strong>in</strong>g maples. The leaves rattled, <strong>in</strong>sects<br />
called through the slamm<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> our car doors, and it<br />
wasn't long — we hadn't yet rapped at the metal knocker —<br />
before an upstairs light went on, and then a parlor light, and<br />
then the light above the door.<br />
She said, "I guess I got more mail."<br />
I said, "My friend's deliver<strong>in</strong>g with me."<br />
She wore a bathrobe meant for a man, and her feet were<br />
bare. Her hair looked sh<strong>in</strong>y and tight, it held to the curve <strong>of</strong> her<br />
head the way her large toes gripped at the floor. Her nose was<br />
narrow, nearly beaked, and she looked like someone — she always<br />
did — fresh from <strong>in</strong>consequential angers. "Hello, friend,"<br />
she said.<br />
I said to Lenny, "This is Miss Waldren."<br />
"You can call me Loretta, friend," she told Lenny. "The man<br />
who writes to me is not my husband. We never made agreements,<br />
really." She looked at the mail<strong>in</strong>g envelope I held out. "I<br />
don't th<strong>in</strong>k I want that."<br />
"The guy who sent it thought you would," Lenny said.<br />
"Do you th<strong>in</strong>k he's a victim <strong>of</strong> someth<strong>in</strong>g?" she asked him.<br />
Lenny said, "I don't much care what he is. I hope he doesn't<br />
die <strong>of</strong> someth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> Asia some time. He's <strong>in</strong> the dead letter<br />
department already."<br />
The Right Address<br />
"Well, that tone <strong>of</strong> talk doesn't make much sense," she said.<br />
"And nobody's dead, for heaven's sakes." Then she looked at me<br />
and raised her eyebrows up at her own mistake and shook her<br />
head.<br />
Lenny said, "No, huh? Says you. But how about this — we<br />
came about a hundred and fifty miles the long way around to<br />
give you that?"<br />
She said, "All right. Then I'll take it from you." She was<br />
look<strong>in</strong>g at me. I wasn't able to turn to look at Lenny and dare<br />
him to say someth<strong>in</strong>g more.<br />
I stood <strong>in</strong> front <strong>of</strong> her, wait<strong>in</strong>g, and then Lenny went back<br />
to the van. I watched him lean aga<strong>in</strong>st the door. She raised her<br />
eyebrows, this time for fun, and she went <strong>in</strong>side.<br />
Lenny called, "You bastard. You son <strong>of</strong> a bitch. How am I<br />
supposed to handle this?"<br />
I turned around and folded my arms. It was all I could do.<br />
Lenny said, "Sure." He climbed <strong>in</strong>to the van. I went <strong>in</strong>side<br />
the house.<br />
Next morn<strong>in</strong>g, I woke him very early, br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g a thermos<br />
and a brown bag filled with c<strong>in</strong>namon toast. I threw the envelope<br />
from Canada <strong>in</strong>to the back <strong>of</strong> the van and, as we ate and<br />
drank, I drove. We listened to the radio, we watched the traffic<br />
form, we didn't speak.<br />
Turn<strong>in</strong>g onto the Northway, I looked at him. Lenny said,<br />
"Get much?", and I sprayed a mouthful <strong>of</strong> c<strong>of</strong>fee onto the <strong>in</strong>strument<br />
panel.<br />
"It was awkward for you," Lenny said. "It serves you more<br />
or less right."<br />
"I'm sorry, Lenny."<br />
"You're so sorry, you're tak<strong>in</strong>g that poor bastard's letters<br />
back to him, right? All the way back to Montreal? Do you th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
he'll f<strong>in</strong>d that form <strong>of</strong> penance touch<strong>in</strong>g?"<br />
"She doesn't love him," I said.<br />
"Dammit, Bill."<br />
We listened to a Phil Ochs song and looked at the cars. And<br />
<strong>in</strong> a little while, I said, "You know, you realize this: I'm not the<br />
one around here do<strong>in</strong>g penance."<br />
"Leav<strong>in</strong>g me the penitent?"<br />
18 19
Busch<br />
"Lenny, you're the guy who came over an ocean for her.<br />
You're the one who rode the bus. You're the one who couldn't<br />
get it up, and you are the one who is stuck so deep <strong>in</strong>to griev<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
you have to hang onto Ariana's husband who she probably would<br />
have ditched. Might have. I don't know. But I'm right about this.<br />
You loved her for so long."<br />
Lenny looked out the w<strong>in</strong>dow.<br />
I put my hand around the back <strong>of</strong> his neck and I squeezed.<br />
He bent forward. "I like it that you love her/' I said. "It's f<strong>in</strong>e."<br />
"Do you love Miss Waldren?"<br />
"We're friends. We get along. You don't understand it all,<br />
about me and Ariana. It's confus<strong>in</strong>g."<br />
"You brought me over, didn't you, just so I could see her? I<br />
believe that's called confession, <strong>in</strong> certa<strong>in</strong> churches. Except I'm<br />
not — "<br />
"No! You keep on hav<strong>in</strong>g what you had for her, Lenny. I'm<br />
driv<strong>in</strong>g you to a bus station, Lenny. All right? I'm tak<strong>in</strong>g the<br />
goddamned envelope north, and that's my problem, and forget<br />
it. But you get onto a bus and go someplace for a while. We're<br />
friends."<br />
"Who?"<br />
"I'm talk<strong>in</strong>g about you and me."<br />
"Okay."<br />
"And well connect <strong>in</strong> a while."<br />
"You are not about to shoot yourself, that's pretty apparent."<br />
"And it isn't the reason you came here."<br />
"Part <strong>of</strong> it."<br />
"All right. Part <strong>of</strong> it. But you know why you really came<br />
here."<br />
"Because you wanted me to," Lenny said. And a few m<strong>in</strong>utes<br />
later, he sighed and said, "Listen, why don't you save me<br />
the carfare and get me over the border <strong>in</strong>to Canada? You can<br />
drop me <strong>of</strong>f up there. Because I'm sure to get drafted if they<br />
catch me <strong>in</strong> the States. I'm not "Essential" now. Get me over,<br />
and I can stay up there for a while."<br />
"You wanted to come home, Lenny."<br />
20<br />
"F<strong>in</strong>e."<br />
"Lenny, you did."<br />
"You can carry my mail back and forth."<br />
"I didn't force you home, Lenny."<br />
He said, "That feels better, doesn't it?"<br />
The Right Address<br />
21
John Engels The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />
The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />
I wait, not fully understand<strong>in</strong>g<br />
how it is I wait,<br />
one measure be<strong>in</strong>g that the sun<br />
has moved <strong>in</strong> from the mounta<strong>in</strong>s and begun to fall,<br />
another, that the late<br />
shadow <strong>of</strong> the afternoon looms east,<br />
conta<strong>in</strong>s us, pools<br />
<strong>in</strong> the hollow <strong>of</strong> her throat.<br />
The repsirator breathes. Outside,<br />
lizards scuttle on the walls<br />
or freeze <strong>in</strong> place at each<br />
chill flicker<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> dusk.<br />
A pulse <strong>of</strong> shadow from the apple tree<br />
flutters on her face. I read aloud,<br />
s<strong>in</strong>g des colores, call her name,<br />
none <strong>of</strong> which she hears,<br />
for it is com<strong>in</strong>g nearer,<br />
and she scarcely breathes,<br />
<strong>in</strong> and out <strong>of</strong> dreams <strong>in</strong> seconds, sleeps<br />
and waits to know the difference.<br />
Everyth<strong>in</strong>g out there burns,<br />
and it is possible, even at this moment,<br />
for me to look away from her, look out<br />
and understand dusk <strong>in</strong> the garden out there as if<br />
jt were the advent <strong>of</strong> free light, an<br />
illum<strong>in</strong>ation, a splendid<br />
brillia» ce: long burst <strong>of</strong> golden light<br />
flood<strong>in</strong>g the yard, burn<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>in</strong> the grass, so the grass becomes<br />
light, or light becomes<br />
blades and stalks and seed-heads<br />
<strong>of</strong> fire, a garden <strong>of</strong> fire<br />
walled <strong>in</strong> by the darknesses, mov<strong>in</strong>g<br />
to beat aga<strong>in</strong>st its walls: fury<br />
<strong>of</strong> that figure, flame<br />
and all that resembles flame! She<br />
burns away, and I<br />
who have never felt<br />
the least difficulty <strong>of</strong> breath,<br />
do noth<strong>in</strong>g that counts,<br />
do noth<strong>in</strong>g at all.<br />
What breathes for me? my body wish<strong>in</strong>g to be<br />
one body with the other, to take breath<br />
for the other aga<strong>in</strong>st<br />
all ris<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>of</strong> dead air,<br />
my body <strong>in</strong> itself no more than <strong>in</strong> the other<br />
conta<strong>in</strong>ed, as the white walls <strong>of</strong> the sickroom<br />
are conta<strong>in</strong>ed, surrounded by<br />
the house, this house<br />
by air, and all<br />
that at the bright edges <strong>of</strong> the air<br />
conta<strong>in</strong> it, that deeper breath<br />
which penetrates and is resplendent<br />
through the all, <strong>in</strong>forms us<br />
to the voice <strong>of</strong> the particular<br />
at such moments as we may be drawn<br />
to desire less. Whatever<br />
22 23
Engels The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />
the breath may make <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs, whatever<br />
it claims, does not<br />
susta<strong>in</strong> us. She<br />
dies young. That<br />
is the literal fact.<br />
Darkness<br />
at the edges <strong>of</strong> her pillow.<br />
It is late,<br />
and far beyond the wall<br />
the sky will soon rejo<strong>in</strong> the horizon,<br />
though <strong>in</strong> the <strong>in</strong>terval<br />
light is flood<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the yard,<br />
and there is no place more beautiful than this:<br />
beauty spills over and diversifies<br />
<strong>in</strong>to the waxy flower<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> the candlebush,<br />
the cold eye <strong>of</strong> the lizard, even<br />
<strong>in</strong>to the the elegant white shape<br />
the bedsheets make <strong>of</strong> her, <strong>in</strong>to the great<br />
curve and conta<strong>in</strong>ment <strong>of</strong><br />
eyelid, small well<br />
<strong>of</strong> darkness at the corner <strong>of</strong><br />
her mouth where the body turns <strong>in</strong>,<br />
enter<strong>in</strong>g itself.<br />
The respirator sighs, and gathers breath,<br />
I take my turn, sitt<strong>in</strong>g alone with her,<br />
who, I imag<strong>in</strong>e, must be as I would be,<br />
afraid to be alone, though I do not<br />
really know, understand<strong>in</strong>g from the usual<br />
terrified <strong>in</strong>dwell<strong>in</strong>g how I<br />
will be the next to die, how quickly<br />
it comes on, the hand<br />
numb<strong>in</strong>g, the f<strong>in</strong>gers<br />
giv<strong>in</strong>g up on th<strong>in</strong>gs, then legs,<br />
tongue, voice, then<br />
heart, these latter two<br />
not quickly; and how at the end<br />
the <strong>in</strong>determ<strong>in</strong>ate m<strong>in</strong>d keeps on<br />
observ<strong>in</strong>g out <strong>of</strong> what we wish to be its sleep<br />
the slow perishment, coldly desir<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
only for itself, the body; f<strong>in</strong>ally itself<br />
sign<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>ward onto the <strong>in</strong>most seed<br />
<strong>of</strong> dream. Stop breath<strong>in</strong>g, let it happen soon!<br />
Do you see what rises <strong>in</strong> the darkness, are you there<br />
and will<strong>in</strong>g to believe there is<br />
<strong>in</strong> your body someth<strong>in</strong>g ihat does not appear<br />
with<strong>in</strong> its outl<strong>in</strong>e, someth<strong>in</strong>g far away<br />
and materially hid,<br />
which does not advance upon the tomb, itself<br />
suffers, th<strong>in</strong>ks, works, is torn<br />
apart from the body, somehow manifest<br />
<strong>in</strong> the whole life <strong>of</strong> the world,<br />
<strong>in</strong> the garden's sudden fire, <strong>in</strong> bone and ash,<br />
<strong>in</strong> every startlement <strong>of</strong> the real, each massive<br />
ris<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> night, each cry<strong>in</strong>g out<br />
<strong>in</strong> the truest language which the body<br />
does not fear to bear aga<strong>in</strong>st<br />
the mortal fictions <strong>of</strong> the literal,<br />
some separate poetry, some<br />
ghost ris<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
cry<strong>in</strong>g out<br />
with the glorious accents<br />
<strong>of</strong> the particular?<br />
Great empt<strong>in</strong>ess <strong>of</strong> sky<br />
stra<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g to darken,<br />
the ceil<strong>in</strong>g darken<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
24 25
Ertgels<br />
shadows flower<strong>in</strong>g<br />
beneath the bed,<br />
failure <strong>of</strong> the breath's ratios<br />
which have deformed us <strong>in</strong>to love<br />
for the shapes <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs which do not die<br />
and are not dy<strong>in</strong>g — we cannot help it,<br />
beauty limps<br />
<strong>in</strong> the clamorous, radiant shadows <strong>of</strong> the world,<br />
<strong>in</strong> the frailest membranes <strong>of</strong> the heart which dreams<br />
and does not cease to dream we live<br />
aga<strong>in</strong>st the ris<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>of</strong> dead air,<br />
and take on power to breathe <strong>in</strong> death or love<br />
one for the other, each taken breath<br />
one to the lessen<strong>in</strong>g other <strong>in</strong><br />
so light a balance they<br />
may coalesce.<br />
In this breath-tak<strong>in</strong>g nocturnality<br />
how quickly it comes on, how<br />
<strong>in</strong> the face <strong>of</strong> it we ma<strong>in</strong>ta<strong>in</strong><br />
the perpetual transformations, the figure,<br />
by what perversities the image <strong>of</strong> the hand<br />
susta<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g its darknesses, the eye<br />
susta<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g the yard <strong>in</strong> shadow, the tree<br />
heavy and shudder<strong>in</strong>g<br />
with apples; and how<br />
<strong>in</strong> the contiguous presence and whole<br />
clarity <strong>of</strong> the dream, no breath<br />
is heavy, noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />
is strange, the lizard's eye<br />
conta<strong>in</strong>s and is perfect<br />
as the angel's, each<br />
see<strong>in</strong>g for the other, f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g<br />
what <strong>in</strong> the terrible fist <strong>of</strong> the night<br />
is visible. The breath<br />
measures the body's wait<strong>in</strong>g; so easily gone bl<strong>in</strong>d<br />
and out <strong>of</strong> breath, her body<br />
surrounds her, she surrounds<br />
the common heart which,<br />
even more deeply than she sleeps,<br />
sleeps, itself capable<br />
<strong>of</strong> dreams beyond the dream<br />
<strong>in</strong> which it is neither dark nor light,<br />
beyond the dream<br />
<strong>in</strong> which the first and <strong>in</strong>capable eye<br />
awakened to itself, the further heart, heart<br />
<strong>of</strong> the wait<strong>in</strong>g and the wait<strong>in</strong>g ones,<br />
awakened to that entire consonance <strong>in</strong> which<br />
noth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> all the radiant landscape did not sleep<br />
which did not freely breathe,<br />
nor for itself only.<br />
The Ext<strong>in</strong>guishment<br />
26 27<br />
'"I
Miklds Radnbii<br />
Even<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the Garden<br />
New moon on the sky is as delicately th<strong>in</strong><br />
as a t<strong>in</strong>y wound that a swallow cuts<br />
flitt<strong>in</strong>g on the water's face and which, after it,<br />
he promptly forgets.<br />
Now the garden was mak<strong>in</strong>g its bed for the night;<br />
many sleepy bugs: <strong>in</strong>to flowers they crept,<br />
and the pert tulip, stand<strong>in</strong>g around<br />
on its bed, slept.<br />
So I step lightly now and th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
that, possibly, on my lady's neck the bun<br />
is like a snort<strong>in</strong>g golden period clos<strong>in</strong>g<br />
a happy poem.<br />
And I say the poem: eagerly it comes<br />
grow<strong>in</strong>g louder on my lips, like faithful breath<br />
after a kiss, like — between fallen<br />
leaves — young grass.<br />
And with a poem I step <strong>in</strong>to the house, from where<br />
my woman runs to meet me; on her snowy neck<br />
she wears the bun which, <strong>in</strong> unfurl<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
is a golden flag.<br />
7934<br />
28<br />
Punctual Poem about Dusk<br />
It was exactly eight-o-n<strong>in</strong>e;<br />
fire was k<strong>in</strong>dled under water,<br />
riverbank willows turn<strong>in</strong>g fatter,<br />
with shadows squeez<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> between.<br />
Even<strong>in</strong>g arrives; the river Tisza<br />
just laps along with the giant raft,<br />
too lazy to swim it, fore or aft;<br />
the one it watches, the hid<strong>in</strong>g sun,<br />
now lurks among tall meadow grass,<br />
rests on the slop<strong>in</strong>g pasturelands,<br />
scatters <strong>in</strong> air, and all at once<br />
darkness settles above the paths.<br />
Faithfully two poppies protest;<br />
you can still see them, they don't m<strong>in</strong>d,<br />
yet here comes, punish<strong>in</strong>g, the sky:<br />
by bayonetted breeze it sends<br />
word; and the darkness, fly<strong>in</strong>g wraith,<br />
smiles at the flowers which only bend<br />
and will not break, can scarce abandon<br />
lightheartedly their crimson faith.<br />
29
;<br />
Radnbii<br />
(So twilight ages, old as Gramps,<br />
you can even call it even<strong>in</strong>g;<br />
blackly it sees the Tisza roll<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
its breath befogs the riverbanks.)<br />
1934<br />
30<br />
Goats<br />
The clouds are becom<strong>in</strong>g a veil,<br />
are lett<strong>in</strong>g their colors fall,<br />
between the grasses it's black;<br />
fatten<strong>in</strong>g, small, s<strong>of</strong>t bodies<br />
<strong>of</strong> kids still give <strong>of</strong>f brightness,<br />
and separate out from the dark.<br />
A gray goat stands around,<br />
on her hair the light goes out,<br />
eyes go sleep-fire-gold;<br />
on her great dugs the strength<br />
<strong>of</strong> sunlit grasses distends.<br />
She looks past the good, warm fold.<br />
Twilight aga<strong>in</strong> casts its surf.<br />
You see the blood at the turf<br />
<strong>of</strong> sky burst and run;<br />
lewdly a billy goat p<strong>in</strong>ches<br />
flowers, and on his two haunches<br />
sniggers to the face <strong>of</strong> the moon.<br />
The other one walks like a ghost,<br />
g<strong>in</strong>gerly stepp<strong>in</strong>g on grass,<br />
bleats on an ebony note;<br />
31
Goats<br />
his beard flows; by the spell,<br />
he scatters dark and small<br />
marbles abroad <strong>in</strong> the night.<br />
Nagytelekmajor, I 942<br />
Translated from the Hungarian<br />
by Emery George<br />
Qeorge Seferis<br />
On a Ray <strong>of</strong> W<strong>in</strong>ter Light<br />
Leaves like rusty t<strong>in</strong><br />
for the desolate m<strong>in</strong>d that has seen the end —<br />
the barest glimmer<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />
Leaves aswirl with gulls<br />
made wild by w<strong>in</strong>ter.<br />
The way the heart f<strong>in</strong>ds release<br />
the dancers turned <strong>in</strong>to trees,<br />
<strong>in</strong>to a huge forest <strong>of</strong> trees stripped naked.<br />
White seaweed burns,<br />
gray-haired sea-nymphs, eyes lidless, rise from the waves<br />
shapes that once danced,<br />
flames now marble.<br />
Snow has covered the world.<br />
My companions drove me mad<br />
with theodolites, sextants, lodestones,<br />
with telescopes that enlarge th<strong>in</strong>gs —<br />
better if they kept at a distance.<br />
Where will roads like these lead us?<br />
But maybe the day which began then<br />
has not yet died out<br />
with a rose-like fire <strong>in</strong> a rav<strong>in</strong>e,<br />
with a sea ethereal at the feet <strong>of</strong> God.<br />
32 33
Seferis On a Ray <strong>of</strong> W<strong>in</strong>ter Light<br />
Years ago you said:<br />
"Essentially I'm a matter <strong>of</strong> light."<br />
And still today when you lean<br />
on the broad shoulders <strong>of</strong> sleep<br />
or even when they anchor you<br />
to the sea's drowsy breast<br />
you look for crannies where the blackness<br />
has worn th<strong>in</strong> and has no resistance,<br />
grop<strong>in</strong>gly you search for the lance —<br />
the lance dest<strong>in</strong>ed to pierce your heart<br />
and lay it open to the light.<br />
What murky river took us under?<br />
We stayed <strong>in</strong> the depths.<br />
The current flows above our heads,<br />
bend<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>articulate reeds;<br />
the voices<br />
under the chestnut tree turned <strong>in</strong>to pebbles<br />
pebbles that children throw.<br />
A breath <strong>of</strong> air, then another, a gust<br />
as you put down the book<br />
to tear up useless bygone papers<br />
or lean forward to watch <strong>in</strong> the meadow<br />
arrogant centaurs gallop<strong>in</strong>g<br />
or nubile Amazons with sweat<br />
<strong>in</strong> all the runnels <strong>of</strong> the body<br />
as they compete at jump<strong>in</strong>g and wrestl<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
Gusts <strong>of</strong> resurrection one dawn<br />
when you thought it was the sun that had arisen.<br />
Flame is healed by flame,<br />
not <strong>in</strong> the slow trickle <strong>of</strong> moments<br />
but <strong>in</strong> a s<strong>in</strong>gle flash, at once;<br />
like the long<strong>in</strong>g that merges with another long<strong>in</strong>g<br />
so that the two rema<strong>in</strong> transfixed<br />
or like<br />
the rhythm <strong>in</strong> music that stays<br />
there at the center like a statue<br />
immovable.<br />
This breath <strong>of</strong> life is not a transition:<br />
the thunderbolt rules it.<br />
Translated from the Greek<br />
by Edmund Keeley & Philip Sherrard<br />
34 35
Joseph Brodsky<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
I<br />
The Eastern tip <strong>of</strong> the Empire dives <strong>in</strong>to night;<br />
Cicadas fall silent over some empty lawn;<br />
On classic pediments <strong>in</strong>scriptions dim from the sight<br />
As a f<strong>in</strong>ial cross darkens and then is gone<br />
Like the nearly empty bottle on the table.<br />
From the empty street's patrol-car a refra<strong>in</strong><br />
Of Ray Charles' keyboard t<strong>in</strong>kles away like ra<strong>in</strong>.<br />
Crawl<strong>in</strong>g to a vacant beach from the vast wet<br />
Of ocean, a crab digs <strong>in</strong>to sand laced with sea-lather<br />
And sleeps. A giant clock on a brick tower<br />
Rattles its scissors. The face is drenched with sweat.<br />
The street lamps glisten <strong>in</strong> the stifl<strong>in</strong>g weather,<br />
Formally spaced,<br />
Like white shirt buttons open to the waist.<br />
It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. The eye's guided by a bl<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g stop-light<br />
In its journey to the whiskey across the room<br />
On the night-stand. The heart stops dead a moment, but its<br />
dull boom<br />
Goes on, and the blood, on pilgrimage gone forth,<br />
Comes back to a crossroad. The body, like an upright,<br />
Rolled-up road-map, lifts an eyebrow <strong>in</strong> the North.<br />
It's strange to th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>of</strong> surviv<strong>in</strong>g, but that's what happened.<br />
Dust settles on furnish<strong>in</strong>gs, and a car bends length<br />
Around corners <strong>in</strong> spite <strong>of</strong> Euclid. And the deepened<br />
Darkness makes up for the absence <strong>of</strong> people, <strong>of</strong> voices,<br />
And so forth, and alters them, by its cunn<strong>in</strong>g and strength,<br />
36<br />
Not to deserters, to ones who have taken flight,<br />
But rather to those now disappeared from sight.<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. And the thick leaves' rasp<strong>in</strong>g sound<br />
Is enough all by itself to make you sweat.<br />
What seems to be a small dot <strong>in</strong> the dark<br />
Could only be one th<strong>in</strong>g — a star. On the deserted ground<br />
Of a basketball court a vagrant bird has set<br />
Its fragile egg <strong>in</strong> the steel hoop's ravelled net.<br />
There's a smell <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>t now, and <strong>of</strong> mignonette.<br />
II<br />
Like a despotic Sheik, who can be untrue<br />
To his vast seraglio and multiple desires<br />
Only with a harem altogether new,<br />
Varied and numerous, I have switched Empires.<br />
A step dictated by the acrid, live<br />
Odor <strong>of</strong> burn<strong>in</strong>g carried on the air<br />
From all four quarters (a time for silent prayer!)<br />
And, from the crow's high vantage po<strong>in</strong>t, from five.<br />
Like a snake charmer, like the Pied Piper <strong>of</strong> old,<br />
Play<strong>in</strong>g my flute I passed the green janissaries,<br />
My testes sens<strong>in</strong>g their pole axe's s<strong>in</strong>ister cold,<br />
As when one wades <strong>in</strong>to water. And then with the br<strong>in</strong>e<br />
Of sea-water sharpness fill<strong>in</strong>g, flood<strong>in</strong>g the mouth,<br />
I crossed the l<strong>in</strong>e<br />
And sailed <strong>in</strong>to muttony clouds. Below me curled<br />
Serpent<strong>in</strong>e rivers, roads bloomed with dust, ricks yellowed,<br />
And everywhere <strong>in</strong> that dim<strong>in</strong>ished world,<br />
In formal opposition, near and far,<br />
L<strong>in</strong>ed up like pr<strong>in</strong>t <strong>in</strong> a book about to close,<br />
Armies rehearsed their games <strong>in</strong> balanced rows<br />
And cities all went dark as caviar.<br />
And then the darkness thickened. All lights fled,<br />
A turb<strong>in</strong>e droned, a head ached rhythmically,<br />
37
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-,^<br />
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0 •<br />
iHI<br />
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1 m<br />
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111<br />
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HI<br />
i<br />
Brodsky<br />
And space backed up like a crab, time surged ahead<br />
Into first place, and stream<strong>in</strong>g westwardly,<br />
Seemed to be head<strong>in</strong>g home, void <strong>of</strong> all light,<br />
Soil<strong>in</strong>g its garments with the tar <strong>of</strong> night.<br />
I fell asleep. When I awoke to the day,<br />
Magnetic north had strengthened its deadly pull.<br />
I beheld new heavens, I beheld the earth made new.<br />
It lay<br />
Turn<strong>in</strong>g to dust, as flat th<strong>in</strong>gs always do.<br />
Ill<br />
Be<strong>in</strong>g itself the essence <strong>of</strong> all th<strong>in</strong>gs,<br />
Solitude teaches essentials. How gratefully the sk<strong>in</strong><br />
Receives the leathery coolness <strong>of</strong> its chair.<br />
Meanwhile my arm, <strong>of</strong>f <strong>in</strong> the dark somewhere,<br />
Goes wooden <strong>in</strong> sympathetic brotherhood<br />
With the chair's listless arm <strong>of</strong> oaken wood.<br />
A glow<strong>in</strong>g oaken gra<strong>in</strong><br />
Covers the t<strong>in</strong>y bones <strong>of</strong> the jo<strong>in</strong>ts. And the bra<strong>in</strong><br />
Knocks like the glass's ice-cube t<strong>in</strong>kl<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. On a pool hall's steps, <strong>in</strong> a dim glow,<br />
Somebody strik<strong>in</strong>g a match rescues his face<br />
Of an old black man from the enfold<strong>in</strong>g dark<br />
For a flar<strong>in</strong>g moment. The white-toothed portico<br />
Of the District Courthouse s<strong>in</strong>ks <strong>in</strong> the thickened lace<br />
Of foliage, and awaits the random search<br />
Of pass<strong>in</strong>g headlights. High up on its perch,<br />
Like the fiery warn<strong>in</strong>g at Belshazzar's Feast,<br />
The <strong>in</strong>scription, Coca-Cola, hums <strong>in</strong> red.<br />
In the Country Club's unweeded flowerbed<br />
A founta<strong>in</strong> whispers its secrets. Unable to rouse<br />
A simple iirra lirra <strong>in</strong> these dull boughs,<br />
A strengthless breeze rustles the tattered, creased<br />
News <strong>of</strong> the world, its obsolete events,<br />
Aga<strong>in</strong>st an improvised, unlikely fence.<br />
38<br />
Ql iron bedsteads. It's stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Lean<strong>in</strong>g on his rifle,<br />
The Unknown Soldier grows even more unknown.<br />
Aga<strong>in</strong>st a concrete jetty, <strong>in</strong> dull repose<br />
A trawler scrapes the rusty bridge <strong>of</strong> its nose.<br />
A weary, buzz<strong>in</strong>g ventilator mills,<br />
The U.S.A.'s hot air with metal gills.<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
Like a carried-over number <strong>in</strong> addition,<br />
yhe sea comes up <strong>in</strong> the dark<br />
And on the beach it leaves its delible mark,<br />
And the unvary<strong>in</strong>g, diastolic motion,<br />
The repetitious, drugged sway <strong>of</strong> the ocean<br />
Cradles a spl<strong>in</strong>ter adrift for a million years.<br />
If you step sideways <strong>of</strong>f the pier's<br />
Edge, you'll cont<strong>in</strong>ue to fall toward those tides<br />
For a long, long time, your hands stiff at your sides,<br />
But you will make no splash.<br />
IV<br />
The change <strong>of</strong> Empires is <strong>in</strong>timately tied<br />
To the hum <strong>of</strong> words, the s<strong>of</strong>t, fricative spray<br />
Of spittle <strong>in</strong> the act <strong>of</strong> speech, the whole<br />
Sum <strong>of</strong> Lobachevsky's angles, the strange way<br />
That parallels may unwitt<strong>in</strong>gly collide<br />
By casual chance some day<br />
As longitudes contrive to meet at the pole.<br />
And the change is l<strong>in</strong>ked as well to the chopp<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> the wood,<br />
To the tattered l<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> life turned <strong>in</strong>side out<br />
And thereby changed to a garment dry and good<br />
(To tweed <strong>in</strong> w<strong>in</strong>ter, l<strong>in</strong>en <strong>in</strong> a heat spell)<br />
And the bra<strong>in</strong>'s kernel harden<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> its shell.<br />
In general, <strong>of</strong> all our organs the eye<br />
Alone reta<strong>in</strong>s its elasticity,<br />
Pliant, adaptive as a dream or wish.<br />
For the change <strong>of</strong> Empires is l<strong>in</strong>ked with far-flung sight,<br />
With the long gaze cast across the ocean's tide<br />
39
• i ?<br />
I<br />
(Somewhere with<strong>in</strong> us lives a dormant fish)<br />
And the mirror's revelation that the part <strong>in</strong> your hair<br />
That you meticulously placed on the left side<br />
Mysteriously shows up on the right,<br />
L<strong>in</strong>ked to weak gums, to heartburn brought about<br />
By a diet unfamiliar and alien,<br />
To the <strong>in</strong>tense blankness, to the prist<strong>in</strong>e white<br />
Of the m<strong>in</strong>d, which corresponds to the pla<strong>in</strong>, small<br />
Blank page <strong>of</strong> letterpaper on which you write.<br />
But now the giddy pen<br />
Po<strong>in</strong>ts out resemblances, for after all,<br />
The device <strong>in</strong> your hand is the same old pen and <strong>in</strong>k<br />
As before, the woodland plants exhibit no change<br />
Of leafage, and the same old bombers range<br />
The clouds toward who knows what<br />
Precisely chosen, carefully targeted spot.<br />
And what you really need now is a dr<strong>in</strong>k.<br />
V<br />
New England towns seem much as if they were cast<br />
Ashore along its coastl<strong>in</strong>e, beached by a flood-<br />
Tide, and sh<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> darkness mile after mile<br />
With imbricate, speckled scales <strong>of</strong> sh<strong>in</strong>gle and tile,<br />
Like schools <strong>of</strong> sleep<strong>in</strong>g fish hauled <strong>in</strong> by the vast<br />
Nets <strong>of</strong> a cont<strong>in</strong>ent that was first discovered<br />
By herr<strong>in</strong>g and by cod. But neither cod<br />
Nor herr<strong>in</strong>g have had any noble statues raised<br />
In their honor, even though the memorial date<br />
Could be comfortably omitted. As for the great<br />
Flag <strong>of</strong> the place, it bears no blazon or mark<br />
Of the first fish-founder among its parallel bars,<br />
And as Louis Sullivan might perhaps have said,<br />
Seen <strong>in</strong> the dark,<br />
It looks like a sketch <strong>of</strong> towers thrust among stars.<br />
40<br />
Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. A man on his porch has wound a towel<br />
Around this throat. A pitiful, small moth<br />
Batters the w<strong>in</strong>dow screen and bounces <strong>of</strong>f<br />
Like a bullet that Nature has zeroed <strong>in</strong> on itself<br />
From an <strong>in</strong>visible ambush,<br />
Aim<strong>in</strong>g for some improbable bullseye<br />
Right smack <strong>in</strong> the middle <strong>of</strong> July.<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
Because watches keep tick<strong>in</strong>g, pa<strong>in</strong> washes away<br />
With the years. If time picks up the knack<br />
Of panacea, it's because time can't abide<br />
Be<strong>in</strong>g rushed, or f<strong>in</strong>ally turns <strong>in</strong>somniac.<br />
And walk<strong>in</strong>g or swimm<strong>in</strong>g, the dreams <strong>of</strong> one hemisphere<br />
(heads)<br />
Swarm with the nightmares, the dark, s<strong>in</strong>ister play<br />
Of its opposite (tails), its double, its underside.<br />
Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Great motionless plants. A distant bark.<br />
A nodd<strong>in</strong>g head now jerks itself upright<br />
To keep faces and phone numbers from slid<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to the dark<br />
And <strong>of</strong>f the precarious edge <strong>of</strong> memory.<br />
In genu<strong>in</strong>e tragedy.<br />
It's not the f<strong>in</strong>e hero that f<strong>in</strong>ally dies, it seems,<br />
But, from constant wear and tear, night after night,<br />
The old stage set itself, giv<strong>in</strong>g way at the seams.<br />
VI<br />
S<strong>in</strong>ce it's too late by now to say "goodbye"<br />
And expect from time and space any reply<br />
Except an echo that sounds like "here's your tip,"<br />
Pseudo-majestic, cub<strong>in</strong>g every chance<br />
Word that escapes the lip,<br />
I write <strong>in</strong> a sort <strong>of</strong> trance,<br />
I write these words out bl<strong>in</strong>dly, the scriven<strong>in</strong>g hand<br />
Attempt<strong>in</strong>g to outstrip<br />
By a second the "how come?"<br />
41
Brodsky<br />
That at any moment might escape the lip,<br />
The same lip <strong>of</strong> the writer,<br />
And sail away <strong>in</strong>to night, there to expand<br />
By geometrical progress, und so writer.<br />
I write from an Empire whose enormous flanks<br />
Extend beneath the sea. Hav<strong>in</strong>g sampled two<br />
Oceans as well as cont<strong>in</strong>ents, I feel that I know<br />
What the globe itself must feel: there's nowhere to go.<br />
Elsewhere is noth<strong>in</strong>g more than a far-flung strew<br />
Of stars, burn<strong>in</strong>g away.<br />
Better to use a telescope to see<br />
A snail self-sealed to the underside <strong>of</strong> a leaf.<br />
I always used to regard "<strong>in</strong>f<strong>in</strong>ity"<br />
As the art <strong>of</strong> splitt<strong>in</strong>g a liter <strong>in</strong>to three<br />
Equal components with a couple <strong>of</strong> friends<br />
Without a drop left over. Not, through a lens,<br />
An aggregate <strong>of</strong> miles without relief.<br />
Night. A cuckoo wheezes <strong>in</strong> the Waldorf-<br />
Inglorious. The legions close their ranks<br />
And, lean<strong>in</strong>g aga<strong>in</strong>st cohorts, sleep upright.<br />
Circuses pile aga<strong>in</strong>st fora. High <strong>in</strong> the night<br />
Above the bare blue-pr<strong>in</strong>t <strong>of</strong> an empty court,<br />
Like a lost tennis-ball, the moon regards its court,<br />
A chess queen's dream, spare, parqueted, formal and bright.<br />
There's no life without furniture.<br />
VII<br />
Only a corner cordoned <strong>of</strong>f and laced<br />
By dusty cobwebs may properly be called<br />
Right-angled; only after the musketry <strong>of</strong> applause<br />
And "bravos" does the actor rise from the dead;<br />
Only when .the fulcrum is solidly placed<br />
Can a person lift, by Archimedian laws,<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
The weight <strong>of</strong> this world. And only that body whose weight<br />
Is balanced at right angles to the floor<br />
Can manage to walk about and navigate.<br />
Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. There's a cockroach mob <strong>in</strong> the stadium<br />
Of the z<strong>in</strong>c washbas<strong>in</strong>, crowd<strong>in</strong>g around the old<br />
Corpse <strong>of</strong> a dried-up sponge. Turn<strong>in</strong>g its crown,<br />
A bronze faucet, like Caesar's laureled head,<br />
Deposes upon the liv<strong>in</strong>g and the dead<br />
A merciless column <strong>of</strong> water <strong>in</strong> which they drown.<br />
The little bubble-beads <strong>in</strong>side my glass<br />
Look like the holes <strong>in</strong> cheese.<br />
No doubt that gravity holds sway,<br />
Just as upon a solid mass,<br />
Over such small transparencies as these.<br />
And its accelerat<strong>in</strong>g waterfall<br />
(Thirty-two feet per sec. per sec.) refracts<br />
As does a ray <strong>of</strong> light <strong>in</strong> human clay.<br />
Only the stacked, white ch<strong>in</strong>a on the stove<br />
Could look so much like a squashed, collapsed pagoda.<br />
Space lends itself just to repeatable th<strong>in</strong>gs,<br />
Roses, for <strong>in</strong>stance. If you see one alone,<br />
You <strong>in</strong>stantly see two. The bright corona,<br />
The crimson petals abuzz, acrawl with w<strong>in</strong>gs<br />
Of dragonflies, <strong>of</strong> wasps and bees with st<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />
Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Even the shadow on the wall,<br />
Servile and weak as it is, still mimics the rise<br />
Of the hand that wipes the forehead's sweat. The smell<br />
Of old body is even clearer now<br />
Than body's outl<strong>in</strong>e. Thought loses its def<strong>in</strong>ed<br />
Edges, and the frazzled m<strong>in</strong>d<br />
Goes s<strong>of</strong>t <strong>in</strong> its soup-bone skull. No one is here<br />
To set the proper focus <strong>of</strong> your eyes.<br />
42 43
Brodsky<br />
VIII<br />
Preserve these words aga<strong>in</strong>st a time <strong>of</strong> cold,<br />
A day <strong>of</strong> fear: Man survives like a fish,<br />
Stranded, beached, but <strong>in</strong>tent<br />
On adapt<strong>in</strong>g itself to some deep, cellular wish,<br />
Wriggl<strong>in</strong>g toward bushes, form<strong>in</strong>g h<strong>in</strong>ged leg-struts, then<br />
To depart (leav<strong>in</strong>g a track like the scrawl <strong>of</strong> a pen)<br />
For the <strong>in</strong>terior, the heart <strong>of</strong> the cont<strong>in</strong>ent.<br />
Full-breasted sph<strong>in</strong>xes there are, and lions w<strong>in</strong>ged<br />
Like fanged and mythic birds.<br />
Angels <strong>in</strong> white, as well, and nymphs <strong>of</strong> the sea.<br />
To one who shoulders the vast obscurity<br />
Of darkness and heavy heat (may one add, grief?)<br />
They are more cherished than the concentric, r<strong>in</strong>ged<br />
Zeroes that ripple outwards from dropped words.<br />
Even space itself, where there's nowhere to sit down,<br />
Decl<strong>in</strong>es, like a star <strong>in</strong> its ether, its cold sky.<br />
Yet just because shoes exist and the foot is shod<br />
Some surface will always be there, some place to stand,<br />
A portion <strong>of</strong> dry land.<br />
And its br<strong>in</strong>ks and beaches will be enchanted by<br />
The s<strong>of</strong>t song <strong>of</strong> the cod:<br />
"Time is far greater than space. Space is a th<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
Whereas time is, <strong>in</strong> essence, the thought, the conscious dream<br />
Of a th<strong>in</strong>g. And life itself is a variety<br />
Of time. The carp and bream<br />
Are its clots and distillates. As are even more stark<br />
And elemental th<strong>in</strong>gs, <strong>in</strong>clud<strong>in</strong>g the sea-<br />
Wave and the firmament <strong>of</strong> the dry land.<br />
Includ<strong>in</strong>g death, that punctuation mark.<br />
At times, <strong>in</strong> that chaos, that pil<strong>in</strong>g up <strong>of</strong> days,<br />
The sound <strong>of</strong> a s<strong>in</strong>gle word r<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> the ear,<br />
Some brief, syllabic cry,<br />
Like 'love,' perhaps, or possibly merely 'hi!'<br />
But before I can make it out, static or haze<br />
44<br />
Trouble the scann<strong>in</strong>g l<strong>in</strong>es that undulate<br />
And wave like the loosened ripples <strong>of</strong> your hair."<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
IX<br />
Man broods over his life like night above a lamp.<br />
At certa<strong>in</strong> moments a thought takes leave <strong>of</strong> one<br />
Of the bra<strong>in</strong>'s hemispheres, and slips, as a bedsheet might,<br />
From under the restless sleeper's body-clamp,<br />
Reveal<strong>in</strong>g who-knows-what-under-the-sun.<br />
Unquestionably, night<br />
Is a bulky th<strong>in</strong>g, but not so <strong>in</strong>f<strong>in</strong>ite<br />
As to engross both lobes. By slow degrees<br />
The africa <strong>of</strong> the bra<strong>in</strong>, its europe, the asian mass <strong>of</strong> it,<br />
As well as other prom<strong>in</strong>ences <strong>in</strong> its crowded seas,<br />
Creak<strong>in</strong>g on their axis, turn a wr<strong>in</strong>kled cheek<br />
Toward the electric heron with its lightbulb <strong>of</strong> a beak.<br />
Behold: Aladd<strong>in</strong> says "Sesame!" and presto! there's a golden<br />
trove.<br />
Caesar calls for his Brutus down the dark forum's colonnades.<br />
In the jade pavilion a night<strong>in</strong>gale serenades<br />
The Mandar<strong>in</strong> on the delicate theme <strong>of</strong> love.<br />
A young girl rocks a cradle <strong>in</strong> the lamp's arena <strong>of</strong> light.<br />
A naked Papuan leg keeps up a boogie-woogie beat.<br />
Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. And so, cold knees tucked snug aga<strong>in</strong>st the night,<br />
It comes to you all at once, there <strong>in</strong> the bed,<br />
That this is marriage. That beyond the customs sheds<br />
Across dozens <strong>of</strong> borders there turns upon its side<br />
A body you now share noth<strong>in</strong>g with, unless<br />
It be the ocean's bottom, hidden from sight,<br />
And the experience <strong>of</strong> nakedness.<br />
Nevetheless, you won't get up together.<br />
Because, while it may be light way over there,<br />
45
if!<br />
i<br />
BrodsJry<br />
The dark still governs <strong>in</strong> your hemisphere.<br />
One solar source has never been enough<br />
to serve two average bodies, not s<strong>in</strong>ce the time<br />
God glued the world together <strong>in</strong> its prime.<br />
The light has never been enough.<br />
I notice a sleeve's hem, as my eyes fall,<br />
And an elbow bend<strong>in</strong>g itself. Coord<strong>in</strong>ates show<br />
My location as paradise, that sovereign, blessed<br />
Place where all purpose and long<strong>in</strong>g is set at rest.<br />
This is a planet without vistas, with no<br />
Converg<strong>in</strong>g l<strong>in</strong>es, with no prospects at all.<br />
Touch the table-corner, touch the sharp nib <strong>of</strong> the pen<br />
With your f<strong>in</strong>gertip: you can tell such th<strong>in</strong>gs could hurt.<br />
And yet the paradise <strong>of</strong> the <strong>in</strong>ert<br />
Resides <strong>in</strong> po<strong>in</strong>tedness;<br />
Whereas <strong>in</strong> the lives <strong>of</strong> men<br />
It is fleet<strong>in</strong>g, a misty, mutable excess<br />
That will not come aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />
I f<strong>in</strong>d myself, as it were, on a mounta<strong>in</strong> peak.<br />
Beyond me there is ... Chronos and th<strong>in</strong> air.<br />
Preserve these words. The paradise men seek<br />
Is a dead end, a worn-out, battered cape<br />
Bent <strong>in</strong>to crooked shape,<br />
A cone, a f<strong>in</strong>ial cap, a steel ship's bow<br />
From which the lookout never shouts "Land Ho!"<br />
All you can tell for certa<strong>in</strong> is the time.<br />
That said, there's noth<strong>in</strong>g left but to police<br />
The revolv<strong>in</strong>g hands. The eye drowns silently<br />
In the clock-face as <strong>in</strong> a broad, bottomless sea.<br />
In paradise all clocks refuse to chime<br />
For fear they might, <strong>in</strong> strik<strong>in</strong>g, disturb the peace.<br />
Double all absences, multiply by two<br />
46<br />
VVhatever's miss<strong>in</strong>g, and you'll have some clue<br />
To what it's like here. A number, <strong>in</strong> any case,<br />
Is also a word and, as such, a device<br />
Or gesture that melts away without a trace,<br />
Like a small cube <strong>of</strong> ice.<br />
XI<br />
Great issues leave a trail <strong>of</strong> words beh<strong>in</strong>d,<br />
Free-form as clouds <strong>of</strong> tree-tops, rigid as dates<br />
Of the year. So too, decked out <strong>in</strong> a paper hat,<br />
The body view<strong>in</strong>g the ocean. It is selfless, flat<br />
As a mirror as it stands <strong>in</strong> the darkness there.<br />
Upon its face, just as with<strong>in</strong> its m<strong>in</strong>d,<br />
Noth<strong>in</strong>g but spread<strong>in</strong>g ripples anywhere.<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
Consist<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> love, <strong>of</strong> dirty words, a blend<br />
Of ashes, the fear <strong>of</strong> death, the fragile case<br />
Of the bone, and the gro<strong>in</strong>'s jeopardy, an erect<br />
Body at sea-side is the foresk<strong>in</strong> <strong>of</strong> space,<br />
Lett<strong>in</strong>g semen through. His cheek tear-silver-flecked,<br />
Man juts forth <strong>in</strong>to Time; man is his own end.<br />
The Eastern end <strong>of</strong> the Empire dives <strong>in</strong>to night —<br />
Throat-high <strong>in</strong> darkness. The coil <strong>of</strong> the <strong>in</strong>ner ear,<br />
Like a snail's helix, faithfully repeats<br />
Spirals <strong>of</strong> words <strong>in</strong> which it seems to hear<br />
A voice <strong>of</strong> its own, and this tends to <strong>in</strong>cite<br />
The vocal chords, but it doesn't help you see.<br />
In the realm <strong>of</strong> Time, no precipice creates<br />
An echo's formal, answer<strong>in</strong>g symmetry.<br />
Stifl<strong>in</strong>g. Only when ly<strong>in</strong>g flat on your back<br />
Can you launch, with a sigh, your dry speech toward those<br />
mute,<br />
Inf<strong>in</strong>ite regions above. With a s<strong>of</strong>t sigh.<br />
But the thought <strong>of</strong> the land's vastness, your own m<strong>in</strong>ute<br />
47
Hi'<br />
Brodsky<br />
Size <strong>in</strong> comparison, sw<strong>in</strong>gs you forth and back<br />
From wall to wall, like a cradle's rock-a-bye.<br />
Therefore, sleep well. Sweet dreams. Knit up that sleeve.<br />
Sleep as those only do who have gone pee-pee.<br />
Countries get snared <strong>in</strong> maps, never shake free<br />
Of their net <strong>of</strong> latitudes. Don't ask who's there<br />
If you th<strong>in</strong>k the door is creak<strong>in</strong>g. Never believe<br />
The person who might reply and claim he's there.<br />
XII<br />
The door is creak<strong>in</strong>g. A cod stands at the sill.<br />
He asks for a dr<strong>in</strong>k, naturally, for God's sake.<br />
You can't refuse a traveler a nip.<br />
You <strong>in</strong>dicate to him which road to take,<br />
A w<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g highway, and wish him a good trip.<br />
He takes his leave, but his identical<br />
Tw<strong>in</strong> has got a salesman's foot <strong>in</strong> the door.<br />
(The two fish are as duplicate as glasses.)<br />
All night a school <strong>of</strong> them come visit<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
But people who make their homes along the shore<br />
Know how to sleep, have learned how to ignore<br />
The measured tread <strong>of</strong> these approach<strong>in</strong>g masses.<br />
Sleep. The land beyond you is not round.<br />
It is merely long, with various dip and mound,<br />
Its ups and downs. Far longer is the sea.<br />
At times, like a wr<strong>in</strong>kled forehead, it displays<br />
A roll<strong>in</strong>g wave. And longer still than these<br />
Is the strand <strong>of</strong> match<strong>in</strong>g beads <strong>of</strong> countless days;<br />
And nights; and beyond these, the bl<strong>in</strong>dfold mist,<br />
Angels <strong>in</strong> paradise, demons down <strong>in</strong> hell.<br />
And longer a hundredfold than all <strong>of</strong> this<br />
Are the thoughts <strong>of</strong> life, the solitary thought<br />
Of death. And ten times that, longer than all,<br />
The queer, vertig<strong>in</strong>ous thought <strong>of</strong> Noth<strong>in</strong>gness.<br />
48<br />
Cape Cod Lullaby<br />
gut the eye can't see that far. In fact, it must<br />
Close down its lid to catch a glimpse <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />
Only this way — <strong>in</strong> sleep — can the eye adjust<br />
To proper vision. Whatever may be <strong>in</strong> store,<br />
por good or ill, <strong>in</strong> the dreams that such sleep br<strong>in</strong>gs<br />
Depends on the sleeper. A cod stands at the door.<br />
Translated from the Russian<br />
by Anthony Hecht<br />
49
Interview with Joseph Brodsky<br />
Do you th<strong>in</strong>k that your new book A Part <strong>of</strong> Speech (Farrar, Straus, &<br />
Giroux) marks any particular crossroads <strong>in</strong> your poetic career?<br />
What I really can detect if I look, if I am capable <strong>of</strong> assess<strong>in</strong>g<br />
myself, are simply prosodic shifts, like one from tetrameters<br />
<strong>in</strong>to pentameters, acquir<strong>in</strong>g a bigger sw<strong>in</strong>g, or another one,<br />
away from predom<strong>in</strong>antly pentametric structures. Somewhere<br />
about three or four years ago, I began to drift to someth<strong>in</strong>g like<br />
an accentuated verse, stress<strong>in</strong>g the syllabic element, not the<br />
syllabatonic — return<strong>in</strong>g almost to the slug, a slow speech. Not<br />
exactly slow, but the k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> poem that proceeds without any a<br />
priori music.<br />
Do you attribute the prosodic shifts to anyth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> particular?<br />
It had to do with a very simple th<strong>in</strong>g, a sense that the exist<strong>in</strong>g<br />
meters began to satisfy me less and less and that some different<br />
music entered. Not that I had exhausted the possibilities <strong>of</strong> the<br />
strict meters — s<strong>in</strong>ce one has, at any time, all these temptations.<br />
But there is a certa<strong>in</strong> dom<strong>in</strong>eer<strong>in</strong>g note, or tune, that is go<strong>in</strong>g<br />
through one's m<strong>in</strong>d. It's a very strange th<strong>in</strong>g. I say tune; I can<br />
just as well say noise. In either case, whatever it is, it's not just<br />
exactly a tune, a musical hum. For this hum has a certa<strong>in</strong><br />
psychological overlay. It's an extremely grey area — not grey,<br />
it's a certa<strong>in</strong> frequency, so to speak <strong>in</strong> which you operate and<br />
which, at times, you change. However, at any po<strong>in</strong>t, you just<br />
opt for several th<strong>in</strong>gs. Once you have the experience <strong>of</strong> the<br />
strict meters, you always long to return to them, as well as<br />
deviate from them. At any given po<strong>in</strong>t, you are under the spell<br />
<strong>of</strong> several <strong>of</strong> them. So it is not as though you have really abandoned<br />
the previous prosodic idiom, but you have just departed<br />
from it.<br />
Would you say there was any particular <strong>in</strong>fluence? For <strong>in</strong>stance, Derek<br />
Walcott's work?<br />
50<br />
Interview<br />
[sjo, not really. At that time I hadn't read Derek's work. I th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
what really prompted it a bit, if we talk about the literature, is<br />
that I had read two or three poems by somebody <strong>in</strong> French.<br />
French poetry is technically speak<strong>in</strong>g syllabic. And I realized<br />
that the beat was somewhat . . . well, when you read a poem,<br />
very <strong>of</strong>ten you get a certa<strong>in</strong> prosodic taste <strong>in</strong> your mouth. This<br />
js what happened, I th<strong>in</strong>k, once aga<strong>in</strong>. I must say I was us<strong>in</strong>g<br />
these th<strong>in</strong>gs before, but never <strong>in</strong> such an extensive fashion. I<br />
wouldn't call it a shift, really: neither thematically, nor, <strong>of</strong><br />
course, mentally. It was simply a prosodic alteration, and a<br />
noticeable one at that.<br />
YJhen you start to work on a poem, do you have a form already <strong>in</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d or do<br />
you work from the subject materials toward the form?<br />
I always have, I th<strong>in</strong>k, some sense <strong>of</strong> form. In fact, what I have is<br />
a volume, an idea <strong>of</strong> quantity. It is not exactly a vessel. I have<br />
some sort <strong>of</strong> outl<strong>in</strong>e. I know how many chunks there are go<strong>in</strong>g<br />
to be. I th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>in</strong> some sense I have an image <strong>of</strong> its flesh and I<br />
know more or less how long it is go<strong>in</strong>g to last. Somehow, however,<br />
<strong>in</strong> the course <strong>of</strong> the writ<strong>in</strong>g, it starts to sp<strong>in</strong> itself <strong>of</strong>f, it<br />
extends, expands, or it shr<strong>in</strong>ks.<br />
So the chunks you've been work<strong>in</strong>g with are really dictated by some phonetic<br />
sense <strong>of</strong> rhythm or psychological sense <strong>of</strong> rhythm rather than blocks <strong>of</strong> images?<br />
The former. Very <strong>of</strong>ten you don't have images, and really you<br />
don't have th<strong>in</strong>gs to say. Images, et cetera, are suggested by the<br />
language, <strong>in</strong> the process <strong>of</strong> its deployment. Sometimes th<strong>in</strong>gs<br />
are prompted by rhyme, by what is said before. You've got these<br />
two or three th<strong>in</strong>gs and you th<strong>in</strong>k, well, I should take the next<br />
step. There's always a considerable temptation to make a next<br />
step. And very <strong>of</strong>ten submission to this temptation pays <strong>of</strong>f.<br />
Do you th<strong>in</strong>k these th<strong>in</strong>gs are preserved <strong>in</strong> translation?<br />
The succession <strong>of</strong> images and sometimes the succession <strong>of</strong><br />
thought, the development, the psychology <strong>of</strong> the next step<br />
sometimes are preserved.<br />
51
I<br />
Brodsky<br />
But not the prosody itself?<br />
Sometimes there is an attempt to preserve it; if the translator is<br />
a conscientious person, he will try to imitate the structure.<br />
However, there is a large question that looms over those th<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />
It certa<strong>in</strong>ly <strong>in</strong>volves the biography <strong>of</strong> this or that structure<br />
with<strong>in</strong> various cultures, various languages, various prosodic<br />
traditions. The same structure may mean, imply or allude to<br />
different th<strong>in</strong>gs. I never know whether the nuance — and poetry<br />
is all about nuance, l<strong>in</strong>guistic nuance — really survives. However,<br />
I th<strong>in</strong>k quite a lot <strong>of</strong> a poem survives translation. Besides,<br />
one is not able to say someth<strong>in</strong>g so qualitatively different that <strong>in</strong><br />
translation it could be so utterly lost. Man's capacity for utterances<br />
is somewhat limited: you cannot lose much, even though<br />
you only understand the man <strong>in</strong> half.<br />
In your <strong>in</strong>troduction to Platonov 1 believe you said that the translation necessarily<br />
had to miss Platonov's very special grammatical constructions, which 1<br />
believe you called a back<strong>in</strong>g-<strong>in</strong> operation, a dead end.<br />
A cuneiform, <strong>in</strong> a way.<br />
Do you th<strong>in</strong>k the same k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> loss occurs <strong>in</strong> the translations <strong>of</strong> your poems?<br />
No, because ... well, it occurs, certa<strong>in</strong>ly, but <strong>in</strong> my case it occurs<br />
to a lesser degree than Platonov's because his ma<strong>in</strong> tool, so to<br />
speak, was his texture. That was his ma<strong>in</strong> device. A device that<br />
is really unreconstructable <strong>in</strong> English. Or you can reconstruct it,<br />
but only to a certa<strong>in</strong> extent — beyond this it becomes tedious <strong>in</strong><br />
English. In Russian it's all pleasure.<br />
In addition to the prosodical feature you already mentioned, what do you see as<br />
your ma<strong>in</strong> device?<br />
Well, actually I would say precisely the read<strong>in</strong>ess to submit to<br />
this temptation <strong>of</strong> mak<strong>in</strong>g the next step. That is, when you<br />
th<strong>in</strong>k the subject, emotion, even an image and its implications,<br />
are exhausted, I try to make a next step — to plumb some<br />
impossibility <strong>of</strong> image or <strong>of</strong> sentiment. I tried it once, <strong>in</strong> that<br />
large dialogue th<strong>in</strong>g ("Gorbunov and Gorchakov"), fourteen<br />
hundred l<strong>in</strong>es, and I liked it. For one th<strong>in</strong>g, it was written <strong>in</strong><br />
52<br />
Interview<br />
decima, ababababab, which is bloody monotonous, m<strong>in</strong>dboggl<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>in</strong> itself, every stanza. So any attempt to make a next<br />
stanza was nearly unth<strong>in</strong>kable to me at the time. Also, <strong>in</strong> terms<br />
<strong>of</strong> the argument, the po<strong>in</strong>ts <strong>of</strong> the argument, any cont<strong>in</strong>uation<br />
<strong>of</strong> the conversation seemed to be unth<strong>in</strong>kable. Those characters<br />
couldn't have had anyth<strong>in</strong>g to say to each other. And yet we<br />
know the nature <strong>of</strong> conversations; they always l<strong>in</strong>ger. They<br />
always resume — it's like crickets — <strong>in</strong> the same note they quit<br />
last night. This is one <strong>of</strong> the frighten<strong>in</strong>g powers <strong>of</strong> exchanges,<br />
<strong>of</strong> dialogues. So I was try<strong>in</strong>g to ape those powers ... I can talk at<br />
length about the poem, merely because it is one <strong>of</strong> the most<br />
serious th<strong>in</strong>gs I've ever done <strong>in</strong> my life. I don't th<strong>in</strong>k I'll ever be<br />
able to repeat anyth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a parallel scope because I don't have<br />
any more <strong>of</strong> that patience or whatever it is. That poem displays<br />
one <strong>of</strong> the ma<strong>in</strong> devices — mak<strong>in</strong>g that next step, which seems<br />
a) impossible, b) even unnecessary. Perhaps it's not my ma<strong>in</strong><br />
device, but this is what I respect myself for . . . Pity that the<br />
translation <strong>of</strong> that poem is really nowhere. I struck it out <strong>of</strong> the<br />
book.<br />
The poem seems to <strong>in</strong>vestigate how <strong>in</strong>evitably a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> betrayal or selfbetrayal<br />
got perpetuated. Could you comment on that?<br />
True, and this is one <strong>of</strong> the essential, perennial themes <strong>of</strong><br />
Russian literature. It's all about betrayal. In that respect I th<strong>in</strong>k I<br />
am <strong>in</strong> the tradition — well, more <strong>in</strong> that <strong>of</strong> prose than <strong>of</strong> poetry.<br />
This is the literature or mentality which is considerably poised<br />
by that expectation <strong>of</strong> betrayal. To a certa<strong>in</strong> extent I th<strong>in</strong>k that<br />
it affects the language itself. I suppose I shouldn't venture <strong>in</strong>to<br />
these dark areas. For <strong>in</strong>stance, <strong>in</strong> Russian, however strong an<br />
accusation is, it always has this expectation <strong>of</strong> reversal merely<br />
because, I presume, the words are polysyllabic and are <strong>in</strong>vested<br />
with a great deal <strong>of</strong> phonetics. Also, there is a somewhat selfeffac<strong>in</strong>g<br />
element, merely because there are too many syllables<br />
to take that accusation at face value. That idea <strong>of</strong> reversal, <strong>of</strong><br />
ambivalence, <strong>of</strong> betrayal creeps <strong>in</strong>to the language. We are talk<strong>in</strong>g<br />
now about the nuances. So, <strong>in</strong> Russian, <strong>in</strong> fact, it's easier to a<br />
certa<strong>in</strong> extent to speak with a very poised voice regardless <strong>of</strong><br />
the sentiment. The sentiment may be a straightforward "I<br />
53
Brodsky<br />
approve <strong>of</strong> this" or "I disapprove <strong>of</strong> that." Yet merely because <strong>of</strong><br />
the language, the expression <strong>of</strong> this sentiment is t<strong>in</strong>ged with<br />
ambiguity. There is this slight poise, even poison, I would say. A<br />
reader senses it. You can play on that endlessly — because<br />
nearly every statement reeks with uncerta<strong>in</strong>ty.<br />
Would you say that language is us<strong>in</strong>g its speakers or that its speakers are at<br />
the mercy <strong>of</strong> language?<br />
Both, I presume; although my verdict doesn't count: I am <strong>in</strong> a<br />
peculiar position — that is, I am outside the language, and I<br />
became its observer to a certa<strong>in</strong> extent. Well, a writer is always<br />
an observer. So, his assessment <strong>of</strong> the language is, to say the<br />
least, somewhat biased. However, I would say, we are the victims<br />
<strong>of</strong> our language. Victims, that is, as a nation, and as writers<br />
we are servants. Not that we perfect it — we rather proliferate<br />
it, unwitt<strong>in</strong>gly.<br />
Do you th<strong>in</strong>k the same obta<strong>in</strong>s for English?<br />
To a certa<strong>in</strong> extent the same th<strong>in</strong>g goes for English, but <strong>in</strong> a<br />
different l<strong>in</strong>e <strong>of</strong> regard. English is an analytical language and<br />
does not really allow for much nuance. Or you get circumvential,<br />
Henry Jamesian, to say the least. There is English and<br />
English: Jane Austen and Orwell, on the one hand, and James,<br />
Conrad, and Nabokov on the other. I prefer the Austen/Orwell<br />
tradition. Jamesian English has a sense <strong>of</strong> texture similar to that<br />
<strong>of</strong> Russian. And once you're work<strong>in</strong>g with texture, your statements<br />
get . . . not exactly compromised, but less important —<br />
you are striv<strong>in</strong>g for the cumulative effect. So it depends on<br />
whose English we are talk<strong>in</strong>g about. English perse? Well, there is<br />
no such th<strong>in</strong>g, I th<strong>in</strong>k.<br />
In the title poem "A Part <strong>of</strong> Speech," does the image <strong>of</strong> language as mice refer<br />
to some quality <strong>of</strong> the Russian language?<br />
It refers <strong>in</strong> a way to the phonetics <strong>of</strong> the Russian word for<br />
"future," which phonetically resembles the word for "rodents."<br />
Therefore, I sp<strong>in</strong> it <strong>of</strong>f <strong>in</strong>to the idea that the future, that is, the<br />
word itself, gnaws — or whatever it is, s<strong>in</strong>ks its teeth — <strong>in</strong>to the<br />
cheese <strong>of</strong> memory.<br />
Interview<br />
Time seems to be a constant, recurr<strong>in</strong>g theme throughout your poetry.<br />
This is the only th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the world. It's much more <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g<br />
than space, for <strong>in</strong>stance. Because space is a th<strong>in</strong>g, whereas time<br />
is an idea about th<strong>in</strong>gs, about the Th<strong>in</strong>g. And, if I were to<br />
describe the th<strong>in</strong>g I'm <strong>in</strong>terested <strong>in</strong>, it is what time does to a<br />
man. That's, <strong>in</strong> short, what it's all about.<br />
Do you connect your <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> time with, say, Pasternak's or Mandelslam's?<br />
I don't th<strong>in</strong>k that my notions <strong>of</strong> it are that different from theirs:<br />
they are just human notions <strong>of</strong> time. They simply <strong>in</strong>volve that<br />
rather Christian notion <strong>of</strong> l<strong>in</strong>ear time, that is, not an African<br />
k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>g, a circle or spiral that goes backward. In that<br />
respect we are not altogether different. It's awfully hard, aga<strong>in</strong>,<br />
to assess myself, but I would say I am more <strong>in</strong>terested <strong>in</strong> the<br />
purely abstract notion <strong>of</strong> time. I th<strong>in</strong>k I may safely say that I am<br />
us<strong>in</strong>g the concrete notions <strong>of</strong> time as the po<strong>in</strong>t <strong>of</strong> departure <strong>in</strong>to<br />
the abstract speculation. And what I'm try<strong>in</strong>g to do is to make<br />
these abstract speculations palpable by means <strong>of</strong> imagery, concrete<br />
emblemata, and all those th<strong>in</strong>gs. Sometimes it works.<br />
In "Mexican Divertimento" does the conclud<strong>in</strong>g image <strong>of</strong> the lizard look<strong>in</strong>g up<br />
at a space ship serve as a catapult from the various Mexican emblemata to<br />
some such speculation?<br />
The only th<strong>in</strong>g which I th<strong>in</strong>k is worthwhile to say about that<br />
poem, at least for me, is that the subject was <strong>Mexico</strong> — not<br />
exactly <strong>Mexico</strong>, but one's state <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d, I th<strong>in</strong>k, set aga<strong>in</strong>st the<br />
least congenial background. Or I guess that was the subject. I<br />
was try<strong>in</strong>g to employ the traditional Spanish meters. The first<br />
part about Maximillian starts as a madrigal. The second, "1867"<br />
— that bus<strong>in</strong>ess about Juarez — it's done to the tune <strong>of</strong> a choklo,<br />
that is, an Argent<strong>in</strong>ian tango. "Merida," the third section, is<br />
done <strong>in</strong> the meter that was employed by the greatest Spanish<br />
poet, I th<strong>in</strong>k, ever, Jorge Manrique, <strong>in</strong> the Fifteenth Century.<br />
It's an imitation <strong>of</strong> his lament for his dead father. And "Romancero"<br />
is a traditional Spanish th<strong>in</strong>g, those tetrameters. There is<br />
an approximation to a modern poem <strong>in</strong> that chapter "To Evgeni."<br />
And a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> classical iambic pentameter, a normal, regular<br />
54 55
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th<strong>in</strong>g, br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g this home <strong>in</strong> that f<strong>in</strong>al part for the encyclopedia<br />
the "Encyclopedia Entry." After all, it's called a divertimento. It<br />
has to do with fashions, with the styles employed there. It's not<br />
exactly stylization. It's pay<strong>in</strong>g a tribute to the culture <strong>in</strong> question,<br />
so to speak.<br />
I wonder if <strong>in</strong> that poem you have a more public, a broader voice?<br />
Could be, but at the same time I resented that. And I was try<strong>in</strong>g<br />
to subdue it. I was somewhat surprised that The New York Review<br />
<strong>of</strong> Books picked it up, because it is not exactly the most liberal<br />
stance that has been displayed there. I am afraid that it may<br />
have irked some people <strong>in</strong> <strong>Mexico</strong>, because it is somewhat<br />
Evelyn Waughish.<br />
Of all the poems you've written, which are your favorites?<br />
One was written about two or three years ago — "Letters from<br />
the M<strong>in</strong>g Dynasty"; Derek Walcott has translated it. Also, I like<br />
"The Butterfly." I was try<strong>in</strong>g to comb<strong>in</strong>e two th<strong>in</strong>gs, Beckett<br />
and Mozart. Many years ago, <strong>in</strong> Russia, I was after a girl. We<br />
left a concert, a Mozart concert, and she told me as we walked<br />
down the streets, "Joseph, everyth<strong>in</strong>g is lovely about your<br />
poetry," et cetera. "Well, you know that," et cetera, "except you<br />
never execute <strong>in</strong> a poem that lightness and yet that gravity<br />
which Mozart has." And that k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> got me. I remembered that<br />
very well, and I decided to write that butterfly poem. Well, I<br />
hope I managed. Actually, George Kl<strong>in</strong>e did an excellent job<br />
translat<strong>in</strong>g the poem.<br />
Would you comment on the relationship between Christianity and modern<br />
culture? Is your <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> Cavafy <strong>in</strong> any way connected with this?<br />
The relationship between God — well, Christianity, or those<br />
religious th<strong>in</strong>gs — and the modern culture is quite direct: it's<br />
the relation between cause and effect, if you like. If I have those<br />
th<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> my poems, it's merely an attempt <strong>of</strong> the effect to pay<br />
tribute to the cause. It's as simple as that. It's not that I am<br />
exactly religious, not at all. Fortunately or unfortunately, I don't<br />
really know. I don't th<strong>in</strong>k that I belong to any k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> creed. In<br />
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fact, when they asked me <strong>in</strong> the hospital, well, that crucial question,<br />
because everyth<strong>in</strong>g can happen, I felt quite at a loss.<br />
As for Cavafy, and why it's important for me to teach him, I<br />
don't have a one-l<strong>in</strong>e answer. One th<strong>in</strong>g — because I love his<br />
work immensely. I th<strong>in</strong>k he is perhaps the only poet <strong>in</strong> this<br />
century (although this is not what I love him for) who has a k<strong>in</strong>d<br />
<strong>of</strong> clear-cut system, or who at least is faithful to himself, to his<br />
idea <strong>of</strong> what it ought to be. The others, however great they may<br />
be, seem eclectic. But then, after him, everybody looks so.<br />
Therefore, one <strong>of</strong> the advantages <strong>of</strong> study<strong>in</strong>g Cavafy is, you<br />
know what it is the man aims toward, what are the means he<br />
f<strong>in</strong>ds suitable, and what he rejects. This is very important<br />
knowledge for any student <strong>of</strong> literature.<br />
If we reduce it to an extremely pedestrian level, what he tells<br />
you is a very simple tale about ambiguity be<strong>in</strong>g the ancient state<br />
<strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d. This is someth<strong>in</strong>g we fail to perceive, because we th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
that we are the most complicated creatures. And yet you can get<br />
this sensation from somebody as old as Plutarch or Herodotus,<br />
as much as you can get it from Cavafy. However, people don't<br />
read the classics that much these days. To say the least, I th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
that read<strong>in</strong>g Cavafy for the sake <strong>of</strong> sheer historical content may<br />
humble a modern man considerably. Still, as I mention all these<br />
th<strong>in</strong>gs, I am far, very far away, from say<strong>in</strong>g why I like Cavafy.<br />
Well, I presume the ma<strong>in</strong> reason is that note <strong>of</strong> ennui, very<br />
susta<strong>in</strong>ed, which is the essential sentiment <strong>of</strong> a man about life<br />
and which hasn't been displayed until him or after him with<br />
such a constancy <strong>in</strong> poetry. Whereas everyone else who displayed<br />
it would do so <strong>in</strong> a romantic or expressionist key, which<br />
is a betrayal <strong>of</strong> the entire sentiment, Cavafy's poetic operation<br />
was, <strong>in</strong> my view, on the same plane <strong>of</strong> regard as the sentiment<br />
itself.<br />
What about Auden? Why do you like him so much and like teach<strong>in</strong>g him?<br />
Because, for me, there is no better poet <strong>in</strong> either language. Well,<br />
actually, for me, there are two poets — Tsvetayeva, she's a<br />
Russian, and Auden. They are extremely disparate. She is all<br />
tragedy; but they have one th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> common. Both espouse, or<br />
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their poetry espouses, the philosophy <strong>of</strong> discomfort. That is,<br />
almost to the extent <strong>of</strong> "the worse, the better" or, <strong>in</strong> the case <strong>of</strong><br />
Auden, "the more <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g." I'm afraid I may sound almost<br />
like an Englishman. I guess what attracts me to both <strong>of</strong> them,<br />
and especially to Auden, is that k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> a drama which never<br />
manifests itself <strong>in</strong> the dramatic fashion. If anyth<strong>in</strong>g, it manifests<br />
itself <strong>in</strong> the anti-climatic fashion. He was great with that technique,<br />
the anti-climatic technique, just astonish<strong>in</strong>g. This to me<br />
seems to be an extremely noble posture <strong>in</strong> the art <strong>of</strong> letters.<br />
Also I am completely . . . it's a peculiar th<strong>in</strong>g, I th<strong>in</strong>k, for a man<br />
from a different culture to be so taken by a foreign poet. I<br />
seldom derive such an amount <strong>of</strong> joy from read<strong>in</strong>g as I do <strong>in</strong> the<br />
case <strong>of</strong> Auden. It's a real joy, and by say<strong>in</strong>g joy I don't mean just<br />
a pleasure, because joy is a very dark th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> itself. For me he is<br />
a lot more pr<strong>of</strong>ound or "sublime" than anybody else, more so<br />
than Yeats or than Eliot, merely because he does all those th<strong>in</strong>gs<br />
that they aspire to and make a great deal <strong>of</strong> <strong>in</strong> a very oblique,<br />
parenthetical fashion. And this is what I respect a poet for. Well,<br />
I don't really know. Auden himself would certa<strong>in</strong>ly disagree<br />
with that and would boo me for what I'm say<strong>in</strong>g. At one po<strong>in</strong>t I<br />
was bold enough to ... well, it was really because my English<br />
wasn't very good at that po<strong>in</strong>t. I visited him at Christ's Church<br />
<strong>in</strong> Oxford. And suddenly there was that mean<strong>in</strong>gless pause,<br />
because I didn't know how to fill it nor was he will<strong>in</strong>g to fill it<br />
with anyth<strong>in</strong>g. Then I <strong>in</strong>terrupted it by say<strong>in</strong>g, "Wystan, do you<br />
know what I th<strong>in</strong>k? I th<strong>in</strong>k that you and Tom Eliot make one<br />
great English poet." Well, that was the most idiotic th<strong>in</strong>g. He<br />
just gave me a daunt<strong>in</strong>g look.<br />
To teach him — although that could be done a lot better than<br />
I do — for me seems to be almost a natural th<strong>in</strong>g to do. If only<br />
because to deal with him <strong>in</strong> person or <strong>in</strong> verse is the best occupation<br />
one may have on earth. Actually, I consider myself extremely<br />
lucky for that. It's not just luck; it's an astonish<strong>in</strong>gly<br />
generous fate. Because there is noth<strong>in</strong>g better <strong>in</strong> my view <strong>in</strong> the<br />
entire English language than the poetry <strong>of</strong> this man. For me to<br />
talk about him is ... the most sensible and, say, just occupation.<br />
It grows on me the more I read him. It's not just a question <strong>of</strong><br />
language. I can read and reread Eliot or Yeats, for that matter,<br />
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and see the sparks <strong>of</strong> wisdom and pr<strong>of</strong>undity. Yet for me, for all<br />
their beauty, it's a little raw <strong>in</strong> either case, especially <strong>in</strong> the case<br />
<strong>of</strong> Yeats. I must say that I have a great deal <strong>of</strong> admiration for the<br />
raw stuff. Still, Auden, hav<strong>in</strong>g most <strong>of</strong> what they had, possessed<br />
a unique <strong>in</strong>telligence. To say the least, he was really the<br />
first poet who was at home <strong>in</strong> his century, who didn't pretend<br />
he deserved or was dest<strong>in</strong>ed for someth<strong>in</strong>g better. Or worse.<br />
That's a very dignified stance.<br />
Do you feel someth<strong>in</strong>g toward him as Statius does toward Virgil <strong>in</strong> the<br />
Purgatorio?<br />
Ah-huh . . . Exactly. And this is <strong>in</strong> part what helps me to operate,<br />
or justifies my operation, <strong>in</strong> the English language. Somehow<br />
I th<strong>in</strong>k that to work <strong>in</strong> the same language that he did is one<br />
<strong>of</strong> the most demand<strong>in</strong>g — certa<strong>in</strong>ly demand<strong>in</strong>g, no question<br />
about that — one <strong>of</strong> the most challeng<strong>in</strong>g, most reward<strong>in</strong>g<br />
th<strong>in</strong>gs. Well, it's ... I really love him very much. It's someth<strong>in</strong>g<br />
haunt<strong>in</strong>g really, because the more I read, the more. ... As the<br />
narrator <strong>in</strong> Anthony Hecht's poem ("Behold the Lilies <strong>of</strong> the<br />
Field") would remark, "I wish I were like them."<br />
Are you writ<strong>in</strong>g poems <strong>in</strong> English at all?<br />
I've written several. Some <strong>of</strong> them were published. Others<br />
weren't. I'm not aspir<strong>in</strong>g to all that, but when I write prose, I<br />
wonder what would he say — whether he would f<strong>in</strong>d it rubbish<br />
or a sensible th<strong>in</strong>g. Auden was an astonish<strong>in</strong>g critic, among all<br />
the other th<strong>in</strong>gs; he had that peculiar mastery <strong>of</strong> common<br />
sense. And with the exception <strong>of</strong> Orwell, I consider him the<br />
greatest stylist <strong>of</strong> English prose.<br />
Are you writ<strong>in</strong>g more and more prose?<br />
No, not really, no. I wish I had more time, or I wish my time<br />
were better organized, or I wish I could organize it better. Unfortunately,<br />
I am a mess.<br />
Do you have another book <strong>of</strong> poems <strong>in</strong> the works?<br />
There are about two books <strong>of</strong> poems. It depends on what you<br />
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consider a book, how many pages. If you use American standards,<br />
there are about two books ready. However, s<strong>in</strong>ce translation<br />
by def<strong>in</strong>ition lags beh<strong>in</strong>d, poems amass, and you end up<br />
with a fatter book.<br />
Are the poems <strong>in</strong> these untranslated books similar to those <strong>in</strong> A Part <strong>of</strong><br />
Speech?<br />
The shorter poems are quite similar. The longer ones — I don't<br />
know if I can say how different they are. Perhaps they are<br />
worse <strong>in</strong> some sense. Sometimes they are more monotonous.<br />
However, the monotony is always, at least to my eye, deliberate.<br />
I just hope that a reader may grasp it. But he may not, and<br />
then I am <strong>in</strong> trouble. But then aga<strong>in</strong>, so what. Basically, it's<br />
always done for your own . . . whatever it is — for yourself and<br />
the hypothetical alter ego. At any rate, it is for somebody <strong>in</strong>visible.<br />
Perhaps for an angel, for all I know.<br />
Are the poems more didactic?<br />
They are more angelic, I th<strong>in</strong>k. ... So that He understands.<br />
Do you like liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> New York for half a year and <strong>in</strong> Michigan for the other<br />
half?<br />
I do, although I'd rather stay somewhere on the East Coast for<br />
the second semester as well — not necessarily <strong>in</strong> New York, but<br />
on the East Coast. Because it's somewhat claustrophobic over<br />
there <strong>in</strong> Michigan. It's too deep <strong>in</strong>side <strong>of</strong> the cont<strong>in</strong>ent, you see<br />
— like some comma <strong>in</strong> War and Peace, pages and pages to go<br />
either way. I used to live for all my life, or at least for thirty-two<br />
years, by the sea. It's someth<strong>in</strong>g really biological, I th<strong>in</strong>k. Not<br />
that I have fits <strong>of</strong> claustrophobia literally, but the mean<strong>in</strong>glessness<br />
<strong>of</strong> space is really bothersome. But then aga<strong>in</strong> the telephone<br />
<strong>in</strong> Ann Arbor doesn't r<strong>in</strong>g as though it were <strong>in</strong>vented yesterday.<br />
I've noticed that a number <strong>of</strong> your poems, for example, "In the Lake District,"<br />
have comic undertones.<br />
It's a humorous poem. I don't understand what's go<strong>in</strong>g on — not<br />
that I've read that much <strong>of</strong> what people say — but there is a<br />
60<br />
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ereat deal <strong>of</strong> comic undertone, I th<strong>in</strong>k, <strong>in</strong> what I'm do<strong>in</strong>g. Yet<br />
people always ask about the religious significance.<br />
I th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>of</strong> the metaphor <strong>of</strong> the ru<strong>in</strong>s <strong>of</strong> the Parthenon as decay<strong>in</strong>g teeth.<br />
The whole po<strong>in</strong>t is that it is not a metaphor actually. It's very<br />
literal — especially s<strong>in</strong>ce I came to Ann Arbor, with my Russian<br />
dental work, so to speak. It's not dental work, actually, it's<br />
someth<strong>in</strong>g opposite to dental work. I was hav<strong>in</strong>g some trouble,<br />
and friends took me to the doctor. He extracted about five at<br />
once, at one round. I don't really remember how I made it home.<br />
The moment I hit the bed, the postman rang the bell, and there<br />
was a bill. So I almost had the feel<strong>in</strong>g that the doctor was dragg<strong>in</strong>g<br />
my teeth out with one hand and writ<strong>in</strong>g the bill with the<br />
other. But the th<strong>in</strong>g is, the build<strong>in</strong>g I teach <strong>in</strong> is right next to a<br />
dental school, and there are all k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> emblemata and even<br />
statues. Some modern sculpture that manifests the progress <strong>of</strong><br />
this discipl<strong>in</strong>e. Hence the poem.<br />
Comic undertones, then, play an important role <strong>in</strong> your poems . . .<br />
Certa<strong>in</strong>ly. Basically, there are two or three th<strong>in</strong>gs. Russian<br />
poetry as a whole is somewhat serious, and people very seldom<br />
allow themselves cracks. You see, when you write poetry, especially<br />
when you are young, you always know, you always anticipate<br />
that there is some sardonic m<strong>in</strong>d that will laugh at both<br />
your delights and sorrows. So the idea is to beat that sardonic<br />
m<strong>in</strong>d. To steal the chance from him. And the only chance to<br />
steal that from him is to laugh at yourself. Well, I've done that<br />
for a while. Yet irony is an extremely <strong>in</strong>sulat<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>g. It's not<br />
liberat<strong>in</strong>g really, especially if irony is directed, if irony has a<br />
consumer, a designated consumer, that sardonic reader. The<br />
only way to beat the guy, <strong>in</strong> case he does exist — but you better<br />
suspect he does — is by the sublimity <strong>of</strong> the statement or the<br />
importance or gravity <strong>of</strong> it, so he won't be able to sneer. I<br />
proceeded to do those th<strong>in</strong>gs, or I hope I did. The technique <strong>of</strong><br />
laugh<strong>in</strong>g at yourself or mak<strong>in</strong>g cracks stayed with me, and from<br />
time to time I resort to that.<br />
Another th<strong>in</strong>g about irony is that sometimes you resort to it<br />
61
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Brodsky<br />
just <strong>in</strong> order to avoid a cliche. Say, a rhyme k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> creeps <strong>in</strong><br />
and there is no better one <strong>in</strong> sight. Yet it has a t<strong>in</strong>ge <strong>of</strong> cliche. So<br />
you had better re<strong>in</strong>force it a bit. . . . You may use an assonant<br />
rhyme, and the essence <strong>of</strong> assonance <strong>in</strong> itself is quite ironic..<br />
there are lots <strong>of</strong> tricks. It would be just to say that irony is a<br />
product <strong>of</strong> the language itself, as much as the rest. It's one <strong>of</strong><br />
those th<strong>in</strong>gs, so why not have it <strong>in</strong> the poem? It's a pleasure. But<br />
you shouldn't overdo it, and you should always juxtapose it<br />
with someth<strong>in</strong>g. It should never be a goal <strong>in</strong> itself.<br />
7 th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>of</strong> the l<strong>in</strong>es: "To ask/ the sense <strong>of</strong> ich b<strong>in</strong>, otherwise, is mad. . .<br />
What, qua poet, he ga<strong>in</strong>s; qua man,/ he loses." Those l<strong>in</strong>es to me have a<br />
comic tw<strong>in</strong>ge, but there's someth<strong>in</strong>g very pr<strong>of</strong>ound attached.<br />
That was a nice poem. That was <strong>1965</strong> <strong>in</strong> the village <strong>of</strong> Norenskaya,<br />
a long time ago, fourteen years ago, years past, astonish<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
Do you th<strong>in</strong>k be<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> exile aided your <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> observ<strong>in</strong>g language with<br />
some detachment? And your themes deal<strong>in</strong>g with estrangement?<br />
To be absolutely honest, I th<strong>in</strong>k it did. However, I pretend, and<br />
with good reason, that it didn't, because basically every country<br />
is just a cont<strong>in</strong>uation <strong>of</strong> space. When I came here I told myself<br />
not to make a big deal out <strong>of</strong> this change — to act as though<br />
noth<strong>in</strong>g had happened. And I acted that way. And I still, I th<strong>in</strong>k,<br />
go on. However, for the first two or three years, I sensed that I<br />
was act<strong>in</strong>g rather than liv<strong>in</strong>g. Well, more act<strong>in</strong>g as though noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />
had happened. Presently I th<strong>in</strong>k the mask and the face<br />
have got glued together. I just don't feel it; I can't really dist<strong>in</strong>guish.<br />
I<br />
In terms <strong>of</strong> my <strong>in</strong>terest and the way this change <strong>in</strong>fluenced I<br />
me, I wouldn 1't know u.. mui what 10 to say with conviction. Because certa<strong>in</strong><br />
th<strong>in</strong>gs really eallv happened. liannpno^ I k~- became less nostalgic for certa<strong>in</strong><br />
cultural phenomena, for example, for the idea <strong>of</strong> the avantgarde<br />
<strong>in</strong> art. Presently I th<strong>in</strong>k it's n<strong>in</strong>ety percent bullshit, if not<br />
more. If I had stayed <strong>in</strong> Russia, I would have cont<strong>in</strong>ued to th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
that the theater <strong>of</strong> the absurd is a grand th<strong>in</strong>g. However, I really<br />
don't know. I th<strong>in</strong>k that what makes one change his attitude or<br />
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his perceptions is not so much actual experience, an actual taste<br />
<strong>of</strong> this or that th<strong>in</strong>g, but ag<strong>in</strong>g itself. You get less excited. You<br />
don't exactly grow smart, but you get more earthly, so to speak.<br />
In a way it's a damag<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>g because what's required by the<br />
popular version <strong>of</strong> poetry, what's required from the poet, is a<br />
certa<strong>in</strong> elevated state. And I must say that while <strong>in</strong> Russia, I was<br />
<strong>in</strong> general a bit more, how to put it ... ethereal. 1 never was<br />
ethereal, but I had somewhat more ethereal concerns. As I<br />
wrote a poem, I would more <strong>of</strong>ten lapse <strong>in</strong>to that grop<strong>in</strong>g for<br />
the <strong>in</strong>visible. However, that would <strong>of</strong>ten lead me toward a k<strong>in</strong>d<br />
<strong>of</strong> mystical <strong>in</strong>coherence, which even then I despised considerably-<br />
If anyth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> this k<strong>in</strong>d takes place today, it's more precise<br />
and therefore less frequent. Aga<strong>in</strong>, I wouldn't ascribe that to<br />
the change <strong>of</strong> milieu so much. It's due to that noble name for<br />
ag<strong>in</strong>g — maturity; although very <strong>of</strong>ten I feel as uncerta<strong>in</strong> as<br />
when I was n<strong>in</strong>eteen, eighteen. Poetry is the best school for<br />
uncerta<strong>in</strong>ty. As for my attitude toward language, toward my<br />
• language, so far I don't th<strong>in</strong>k anyth<strong>in</strong>g really bad has happened.<br />
On the contrary. At home you use the language <strong>in</strong> haste. You<br />
k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> trust . . . well, you don't trust really, but it's a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong><br />
automatic th<strong>in</strong>g, writ<strong>in</strong>g. For <strong>in</strong>stance, there are lots <strong>of</strong> passages<br />
<strong>in</strong> those poems — although I don't look at them <strong>of</strong>ten because I<br />
just can't bear it — <strong>in</strong> which I see the language has been used<br />
somewhat slovenly. These days I would be more careful, leaner.<br />
J wonder if be<strong>in</strong>g away from one's own language and not hear<strong>in</strong>g so many<br />
compet<strong>in</strong>g voices gives one a different perspective on one's own voice?<br />
Language is an awfully private th<strong>in</strong>g. By be<strong>in</strong>g displaced, you<br />
arrive at the ultimate privacy. It's a fete a tete between you and<br />
your langage. There are no mediators. It certa<strong>in</strong>ly gives you<br />
someth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> a boost to hear your language on the street, some<br />
twist <strong>of</strong> phrase, some turn, and so forth. But then aga<strong>in</strong> I th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
that the poet should develop his own idiom. S<strong>in</strong>ce he has his<br />
own way <strong>of</strong> th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g, that is unlike other poets', he also develops<br />
his own way <strong>of</strong> speak<strong>in</strong>g. However, the purpose is to be<br />
more concise with<strong>in</strong> your own idiom. That's some sort <strong>of</strong> a<br />
purpose. I th<strong>in</strong>k be<strong>in</strong>g displaced doesn't obstruct that course <strong>of</strong><br />
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events. For all I know, it just encourages it. When you're writ<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>in</strong> your own language <strong>in</strong> a foreign realm, a peculiar th<strong>in</strong>g starts<br />
to happen. Suddenly there are lots <strong>of</strong> fears — you forget this,<br />
forget that. When you grope for the rhyme and you don't f<strong>in</strong>d<br />
it, you wonder, Jesus Christ, what's happen<strong>in</strong>g? Could it be that<br />
there is no rhyme, or did I forget someth<strong>in</strong>g? Those th<strong>in</strong>gs do<br />
happen. And, well, it's enough to make you nervous. As you are<br />
go<strong>in</strong>g to say someth<strong>in</strong>g, you unleash all the sluices <strong>of</strong> your<br />
l<strong>in</strong>guistic memory, and you try to imag<strong>in</strong>e the alternative ways<br />
<strong>of</strong> say<strong>in</strong>g someth<strong>in</strong>g, which you would not really do while at<br />
home. All <strong>in</strong> all the volume <strong>of</strong> your l<strong>in</strong>guistic operations stays<br />
the same. What susta<strong>in</strong>s the language, I th<strong>in</strong>k, is not so much<br />
speak<strong>in</strong>g as read<strong>in</strong>g. In short, be<strong>in</strong>g out <strong>of</strong> your existential context<br />
helps to w<strong>in</strong>now a cleaner notion <strong>of</strong> yourself, <strong>of</strong> what you<br />
are both physically and l<strong>in</strong>guistically.<br />
Could you suggest some read<strong>in</strong>g for young poets <strong>in</strong> addition to Cavafy and<br />
Auden?<br />
Young poets? I used to be <strong>in</strong> that category for quite a while.<br />
Hardy, <strong>in</strong> the first place. Edw<strong>in</strong> Arl<strong>in</strong>gton Rob<strong>in</strong>son, especially<br />
"Eros Turannos," "Isaac and Archibald," and "Rembrandt to<br />
Rembrandt" — those are quite <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>gs apart from his<br />
shorter poems like "Richard Cory," and that Tilbury Town th<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
We are talk<strong>in</strong>g about Americans presently. Let's th<strong>in</strong>k about<br />
foreigners. I th<strong>in</strong>k read<strong>in</strong>g foreign poetry loosens your imag<strong>in</strong>ation<br />
or your <strong>in</strong>tuition. I would certa<strong>in</strong>ly suggest a Yugoslav,<br />
Vasko Popa. Or there are several great Poles: Czeslaw Milosz<br />
and Zbigniew Herbert, for <strong>in</strong>stance; Herbert especially because<br />
he's so conceptual. It should be fairly easy for an American to<br />
grasp him. "Conceptual" is a bit <strong>of</strong> a put down for Herbert<br />
because he is much more <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g than that. Polish poetry is<br />
extremely rich, and I would add to a read<strong>in</strong>g list poets like . . .<br />
well, there are not that many translations . . . Wyslawa Schymborska,<br />
Stanislaw Grochowiak, Tadeusz Ruzewicz — although<br />
what bothers me about him is what is known as the International<br />
Style. Auden said, <strong>in</strong> our era <strong>of</strong> global uniformity, it's only<br />
<strong>in</strong> poetry that an <strong>in</strong>ternational style is impossible. However,<br />
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Ruzewicz is that k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> a poet, but all the same, quite pr<strong>of</strong>ound.<br />
There was another Polish poet you should read, who was as<br />
eat, j th<strong>in</strong>k, as Baudelaire. Norvid. Cyprian Camille Norvid.<br />
There is a magnificient Czech poet, he's still alive, I hope, a<br />
tremendous man — Vladimir Holan. There's a Pengu<strong>in</strong> collection<br />
<strong>of</strong> his. He's the best possible news on the horizon. Let me<br />
f<strong>in</strong>ish with the East Europeans. Janos Pil<strong>in</strong>szky — his book,<br />
translated by Ted Hughes, has been recently published; however,<br />
they are not the most successful translations. Also, there is<br />
a magnificent Hungarian poet, Miklos Radnoti, whose luck was<br />
real sour. He was killed by the Germans <strong>in</strong> a concentration camp<br />
<strong>in</strong> Yugoslavia. After he was buried, his wife came to the camp.<br />
When they dug the body out — it was a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> common grave<br />
she recognized him by f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> his breast pocket a bunch <strong>of</strong><br />
elegies, written <strong>in</strong> classic alexandr<strong>in</strong>e verse. That's someth<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
As for Germans, there is Ingeborg Bachmann, first and foremost,<br />
and then Peter Huchel. He is a magnificent poet. Well, I'm<br />
sorry for these "magnificent poets," but he really is. And his<br />
friend and contemporary, Gi<strong>in</strong>ter Eich. Huchel is <strong>in</strong> the Michael<br />
Hamburger collection. Paul Celan is also a very good poet. He<br />
committed suicide <strong>in</strong> Paris <strong>in</strong> 1971 or 1970. We shouldn't buy<br />
this th<strong>in</strong>g from Europeans — I mean both we Americans and we<br />
Russians; we shouldn't buy these k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> self-dramatizations.<br />
It's a reversal <strong>of</strong> self-aggrandizement. They really had a rotten<br />
lot, all <strong>of</strong> them <strong>in</strong> this century, those who had the misfortune to<br />
be born <strong>in</strong> the twenties and thirties — the war, et cetera. All the<br />
same, I th<strong>in</strong>k some <strong>of</strong> them were mak<strong>in</strong>g too much <strong>of</strong> their<br />
unhapp<strong>in</strong>ess or catastrophes. They thrived on it <strong>in</strong> a way; they<br />
built their identity around it, unlike Czeslaw Milosz. For a<br />
poet's identity should be built more on strophes than on catastrophes.<br />
. . . Still, Celan. Also, a man I had <strong>in</strong> m<strong>in</strong>d is Georg<br />
Trakl.<br />
For the French, I really don't have any k<strong>in</strong>d words except for<br />
one man I just happened to come across <strong>in</strong> my own, well, silly<br />
and unsystematic read<strong>in</strong>g. Actually, there are two men, who<br />
were m<strong>in</strong>or poets: Rene de Cadoux and Jules Supervielle. I mention<br />
the m<strong>in</strong>or French, because the guys like Reverdy, Rene<br />
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Char, and Michaux — I don't like them. They are quite well<br />
known, and I don't th<strong>in</strong>k there is any po<strong>in</strong>t <strong>in</strong> my mak<strong>in</strong>g propaganda<br />
for them.<br />
I know noth<strong>in</strong>g about poetry <strong>in</strong> Spanish. Except for Jorge<br />
Manrique, Gongora, St. John <strong>of</strong> the Cross, and Machado. In<br />
comparison to Machado, Lorca and others look pale. A very<br />
good Dutch poet is Nijh<strong>of</strong>f. His poem "Awater" is the poem to<br />
reckon with, one <strong>of</strong> the grandest works <strong>of</strong> poetry <strong>in</strong> this century.<br />
It's a completely different th<strong>in</strong>g. This is the future <strong>of</strong><br />
poetry, I th<strong>in</strong>k, or it at least paves the way for a very <strong>in</strong>terest<strong>in</strong>g<br />
future.<br />
The Russians: Tsvetayeva, Mandelstam, Klujev, Zabolotzky.<br />
There is a collection <strong>of</strong> Zabolotzky's, Scrolls, <strong>in</strong> English. For all<br />
the <strong>in</strong>evitable pitfalls <strong>of</strong> translation, you see how avant-garde<br />
he is — imagery alone saves it.<br />
If we have a civilized poetry — not only civilized <strong>in</strong> terms <strong>of</strong><br />
tone, but <strong>in</strong> terms <strong>of</strong> susta<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g civilization — it's Italian poetry.<br />
For one th<strong>in</strong>g, there is Umberto Saba, the man from Trieste, a<br />
traditionalist, but with all k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> devils. Then, Guiseppe Ungaretti,<br />
except I'm afraid he took Mallarme literally — that dictum<br />
that there shouldn't be too many words on the page. And<br />
there are not many. I th<strong>in</strong>k a poem is a poem, and it should have<br />
enough words on the page to make it dark. Otherwise it becomes<br />
tanka-like or haiku-like, which is a very nice th<strong>in</strong>g, but<br />
it's done better by the Japanese themselves, by Basho. Then,<br />
there is, <strong>of</strong> course, Montale. OS lesser known poets, I would<br />
mention Cesare Pavese. There is one book by him which is extremely<br />
crucial for anyone who concerns himself with poetry —<br />
II Mestiere di Vivere (<strong>in</strong> translation, The Burn<strong>in</strong>g Brand: Diaries 1935-<br />
1950). It's a diary or confession. As for the poems themselves,<br />
they have been rather decently translated <strong>in</strong>to English. Also,<br />
there is Zanzotto and that peculiar character Sandro Penna, who<br />
is virtually nonexistent <strong>in</strong> English.<br />
The reason I am suggest<strong>in</strong>g Italians is because <strong>of</strong> their level <strong>of</strong><br />
mental operation, the subtlety. They are quite cultivated because<br />
<strong>of</strong> their education, a solid k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> European education. But<br />
apart from their actual knowledge <strong>of</strong> Greek and Lat<strong>in</strong>, apart<br />
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from the Renaissance texture <strong>of</strong> their actual surround<strong>in</strong>gs —<br />
apart from all this, there is that familiarity with an artifice, that<br />
familiarity with columns as omnipresent as trees. The result <strong>of</strong><br />
such a situation is that artifice is regarded as natural, and vice<br />
versa. I th<strong>in</strong>k we are fairly removed from them, removed enough<br />
to appreciate this k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> sensibility. Perhaps their poetry is not<br />
as good as it seems to us because <strong>of</strong> the ref<strong>in</strong>ement <strong>of</strong> its texture.<br />
This is what we <strong>in</strong> America are somewhat lack<strong>in</strong>g. But one<br />
always pr<strong>of</strong>its from nostalgia. If we are talk<strong>in</strong>g about poetries,<br />
then, while the texture <strong>of</strong> Italian poetry is mostly cultural or<br />
historical, the fabric <strong>of</strong> American poetry is rather anthropological.<br />
It's not that I'm derid<strong>in</strong>g the latter, prais<strong>in</strong>g the former.<br />
The whole po<strong>in</strong>t is that they provide us with someth<strong>in</strong>g to<br />
grope for. And there are examples <strong>of</strong> such grop<strong>in</strong>g motions <strong>in</strong><br />
those magnificent Italian poems <strong>of</strong> Richard Wilbur, Anthony<br />
Hecht, and Stanley Kunitz. In fact, one can make an excellent<br />
anthology <strong>of</strong> American poetry on Italy. It's a poetry <strong>of</strong> a very<br />
hungry eye. This is the way civilization works: by <strong>in</strong>duction.<br />
If I were a young poet, or whatever ... a trooper ... I would<br />
rather read the ancient stuff. I th<strong>in</strong>k no one has a right to touch<br />
paper before he's read Gilgamesh. No one has the right to write <strong>in</strong><br />
the English language without read<strong>in</strong>g the Metamorphoses by Ovid.<br />
The same goes for Homer and for Dante. Before we get to<br />
Dante, there are a lot <strong>of</strong> excellent Romans. I would s<strong>in</strong>gle out<br />
Martial. The Loeb Series is awfully good. There is noth<strong>in</strong>g more<br />
crucial. You should watch some translations, though, because<br />
sometimes Martial comes out sound<strong>in</strong>g like a New York cabby.<br />
And it's really silly. Martial is so multifaceted. He was the worst<br />
possible ass-licker <strong>in</strong> the history <strong>of</strong> poetry. His praise <strong>of</strong> tyrants<br />
is just m<strong>in</strong>d-blow<strong>in</strong>g. Yet I have never read anyth<strong>in</strong>g more<br />
vicious than his epigrams. For their sheer force you should respect<br />
them. Also he is an excellent lyric poet. He was a native <strong>of</strong><br />
Iberia, <strong>of</strong> Spa<strong>in</strong>, and returned there from Rome to settle. In one<br />
poem he looks back on his life <strong>in</strong> Rome. He talks about how half<br />
<strong>of</strong> his life has been covered, and there were good days and bad<br />
days. If we take white pebbles and black pebbles for good and<br />
bad days, he says, there are more black pebbles on the table. If<br />
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you want to live happily, he says to his friend, don't befriend<br />
anybody very closely; thus perhaps there is less happ<strong>in</strong>ess, but<br />
there is less grief. When this k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> message comes from a<br />
millenium ago, it moves you considerably.<br />
In general, one should have his left hand on Homer, the Bible,<br />
Dante, and the Loeb Series, before grabb<strong>in</strong>g the pen with the<br />
right.<br />
All these authors are a lot more important <strong>in</strong> my view than<br />
our contemporaries, if only because the contemporary literature<br />
is the effect <strong>of</strong> that ancient cause. If you want to learn a<br />
pattern <strong>of</strong> metaphoric th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g, read<strong>in</strong>g Ovid is crucial, to see<br />
how this guy animates mythology. Well, <strong>in</strong> his myth about Narcissus<br />
and Echo, Narcissus appears <strong>in</strong> the water, and Echo appears.<br />
She is <strong>in</strong> love with him, but Narcissus sends her away.<br />
And he, well, he just jumps. But when Ovid tells about the grief<br />
<strong>of</strong> Echo . . . It's not that you beg<strong>in</strong> to cry . . . You may cry: it<br />
depends on, well, your k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> nerves. This is such a beautiful<br />
description <strong>of</strong> her reactions, her hesitations. It makes Virg<strong>in</strong>ia<br />
Woolf's stuff sound like a k<strong>in</strong>dergarten. Honestly. This is most<br />
puzzl<strong>in</strong>g: we th<strong>in</strong>k that because today we are present, we therefore<br />
are smarter than those who are absent. From read<strong>in</strong>g the<br />
ancients, we learn that idea is not accurate. It may be true <strong>in</strong><br />
terms <strong>of</strong> technology, but it humbles you a great deal <strong>in</strong> terms <strong>of</strong><br />
poetry.<br />
If I were younger, what I would do is write a book <strong>of</strong> imitations.<br />
It's an old dream <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>e to do a collection <strong>of</strong> sp<strong>in</strong><strong>of</strong>fs,<br />
especially <strong>of</strong> the Alexandrian school, and especially <strong>of</strong> one guy<br />
whom I like best, Leonidas from Tarentum. He is one <strong>of</strong> the<br />
most imag<strong>in</strong>ative guys. I thought about do<strong>in</strong>g such a book, a<br />
k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> small pamphlet. It would have a watercolor <strong>of</strong> some<br />
ru<strong>in</strong>s on the cover, and my name.<br />
Conducted on November 18, 1979<br />
by Eva Burch and David Ch<strong>in</strong><br />
Nicholas Delbanco<br />
Maggie Alone<br />
In her room aga<strong>in</strong>, alone, she beg<strong>in</strong>s to pack — pull<strong>in</strong>g out a<br />
matched set stamped with LV's and open<strong>in</strong>g the luggage<br />
on her bed. She turns on the overhead light. She empties<br />
her six bureau drawers. Maggie works for some m<strong>in</strong>utes with<br />
efficient <strong>in</strong>attention — not sort<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>gs or fold<strong>in</strong>g them but<br />
stuff<strong>in</strong>g each valise until it barely shuts. She fills her cosmetics<br />
case also. Hold<strong>in</strong>g the hair-dryer, however — hav<strong>in</strong>g trouble<br />
with the cord, attempt<strong>in</strong>g to bend and wrap it so the slip-case is<br />
positioned properly — Maggie sees herself reflected <strong>in</strong> the bathroom<br />
vanity console. She stops.<br />
Maggie pats her face as might a bl<strong>in</strong>d person feel<strong>in</strong>g its<br />
contours. The cheekbones are sharp. She wiggles her nose. She<br />
has to concentrate; she snaps the cosmetics case shut. In the<br />
k<strong>in</strong>gdom <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d the one-eyed man is k<strong>in</strong>g. But whom would<br />
she choose for a consort, she wonders, the bl<strong>in</strong>dest <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d<br />
or the one who can dist<strong>in</strong>guish dark from light? This is assum<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
<strong>of</strong> course, that all the women are equally young, equally<br />
rich and attractive and adept <strong>in</strong> bed. She presses the lobes <strong>of</strong> her<br />
ears. The parable does not make this explicit, but it is implicit:<br />
the terms <strong>of</strong> success are sight and sight only — therefore all else<br />
must be equal.<br />
Or perhaps the one-eyed man <strong>in</strong> the region <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d is<br />
damned, not saved by sight. Perhaps he alone can see devastation,<br />
how the landscape around them grows withered and sere.<br />
He <strong>in</strong> all that countryside must meditate on blight. If beauty is<br />
<strong>in</strong> the eye <strong>of</strong> the beholder, and the beholder has no eyes, then<br />
how might such beauty survive? She tries to remember and<br />
cannot remember if the phrase is "country <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d" or<br />
"region <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d" or "k<strong>in</strong>gdom <strong>of</strong> the bl<strong>in</strong>d." She busies<br />
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herself, remember<strong>in</strong>g. If she does not remember, Ian and Andrew<br />
conferr<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the kitchen beneath her will w<strong>in</strong>; her problem these<br />
past years has been retentiveness.<br />
Maggie smiles. She touches her teeth. She is retentive<br />
enough, lord knows, but what she reta<strong>in</strong>s makes no sense. She<br />
remembers a man <strong>in</strong> a d<strong>in</strong>er who wore a thick cord sweater and<br />
ordered c<strong>of</strong>fee next to her, clos<strong>in</strong>g his hands on the mug. He<br />
turned to her and confided how he liked sugar first, then cream.<br />
That way the sugar could dissolve at leisure <strong>in</strong> the hot brew.<br />
Most people prefer to have their c<strong>of</strong>fee poured first, and then<br />
they add cream and sugar. But his practice was the reverse. He<br />
had had to expla<strong>in</strong> this, always, to waitresses or people who<br />
<strong>of</strong>fered him c<strong>of</strong>fee. She remembers his theory <strong>in</strong> detail, and the<br />
sensuality with which he praised the sugar's diffusion — the<br />
way it rose to the surface, permeat<strong>in</strong>g everyth<strong>in</strong>g from the<br />
bottom up. For the life <strong>of</strong> her, however, Maggie cannot recollect<br />
the man's name — or the d<strong>in</strong>er, or whether they arrived together<br />
or ever met aga<strong>in</strong>. Perhaps it was no d<strong>in</strong>er but a restaurant or<br />
airport lounge; perhaps the stranger was a dream-transfigured<br />
lover or man <strong>in</strong> a TV commercial.<br />
She does not know. She does not need or care to know; it is<br />
a composition without frame. But she wakes with the taste <strong>of</strong><br />
sugar, the c<strong>of</strong>fee so thick it is viscous, her mother tell<strong>in</strong>g her to<br />
have some manners and not pile her spoon so high or take a<br />
second spoon. The amount <strong>of</strong> sugar that she seems to need is<br />
appall<strong>in</strong>g, it's probably a sugar imbalance, or maybe it's pure<br />
gluttony and will make her fat. Her father tells them never<br />
m<strong>in</strong>d, it's good for the folks <strong>in</strong> Jamaica, and he br<strong>in</strong>gs her sugarcane<br />
to chew.<br />
The Cutlers have maids from Jamaica. Maggie's childhood<br />
is an unend<strong>in</strong>g memory <strong>of</strong> maids — they wear green uniforms<br />
with a white frilled apron. Their names are Netty and Alice and<br />
Gladys and Bess; they meet her <strong>in</strong> the hallway when she comes<br />
home from school. Later, they tell her their troubles. They have<br />
glass <strong>in</strong> their thumbs or p<strong>in</strong>s <strong>in</strong> their hips or seventeen cous<strong>in</strong>s<br />
<strong>in</strong> Runaway Bay and problems with men and rheumatism <strong>in</strong> the<br />
w<strong>in</strong>ters <strong>in</strong> this city made out <strong>of</strong> steel and cement; she might not<br />
believe it but she'll learn. Steel and cement soak up water like<br />
Maggie Alone<br />
nobody's bus<strong>in</strong>ess, and when the w<strong>in</strong>ter comes it gives that<br />
dampness back, that's how a city breathes, that's why it's smart<br />
to wear rubbersoled shoes. She sits at the kitchen table, on a<br />
stool the tw<strong>in</strong> to that which her daughter Jane possesses now,<br />
head cocked, w<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g spaghetti round her fork and smear<strong>in</strong>g<br />
the pasta with ketchup. Or she's ladl<strong>in</strong>g Netty's special sauce<br />
that's orange and milky and just how she likes it; her mother<br />
tries on Saturdays but never can equal the taste or consistency<br />
_- so Netty makes up a batch and they keep it <strong>in</strong> the freezer, just<br />
<strong>in</strong> case.<br />
She attempts to f<strong>in</strong>d <strong>in</strong>struction <strong>in</strong> such scenes. She knows<br />
that <strong>in</strong> Manhattan she will seek psychiatric help, and the help<br />
vvill ask her, at sixty-five dollars an hour, to conjure up that fulltime<br />
help to whom her parents must have paid sixty-five dollars<br />
a week. These are the facts <strong>of</strong> <strong>in</strong>flation, not value. Maggie packs<br />
her boots. She takes four pairs. She evaluates her mother's<br />
absence. It had been easy enough, <strong>in</strong> the years when she wanted<br />
to exorcise Judah, to label him some father-surrogate, some<br />
ratified totem <strong>of</strong> <strong>in</strong>cest with no sexual taboo. It had been easy<br />
but untrue; the two men were the same age but otherwise<br />
unlike.<br />
She knows an analyst might argue that their very opposition<br />
is pro<strong>of</strong> <strong>of</strong> similarity; she's picked her father's opposite<br />
number <strong>in</strong> order to score po<strong>in</strong>ts. But the truth is the two men<br />
were fond <strong>of</strong> each other; they would have gotten along. Maggie<br />
remembers, still, the contrast at her wedd<strong>in</strong>g: Judah huge and<br />
rumpled, her father slight and neat. Mr. Cutler sported a Thomas<br />
E. Dewey moustache that he later enlarged to a beard.<br />
Judah did not travel and her father was unwill<strong>in</strong>g to <strong>in</strong>trude.<br />
He had tried to avoid tak<strong>in</strong>g sides. And s<strong>in</strong>ce their marriage<br />
was cont<strong>in</strong>ually a question <strong>of</strong> which side to take, he'd kept<br />
to the sidel<strong>in</strong>es and covered his eyes; he had welcomed Maggie<br />
when she fled from Judah, first, but urged her to return.<br />
Her mother had been dead by then — had had a heart<br />
attack at fifty-six. There had been no warn<strong>in</strong>g. Maggie remembers<br />
pick<strong>in</strong>g up the phone, and her father's choked announcement<br />
and her disbelief: her mother died at luncheon, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g<br />
tea. "She never knew what hit her," was the phrase her father
Ill<br />
Delbanco<br />
used. Maggie can remember how she pictured some crazed waiter<br />
wield<strong>in</strong>g the tea-pot as a truncheon, wreak<strong>in</strong>g havoc <strong>in</strong> Le Pavilion<br />
and scatter<strong>in</strong>g the customers like chaff. She herself is fiftyfive.<br />
She th<strong>in</strong>ks perhaps the women <strong>of</strong> her family are doomed to<br />
early death. Her mother had been prudent and had paid attention<br />
to her diet and went to exercise class. She was well preserved.<br />
Nor had they been <strong>in</strong>timate — so that Maggie, th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g<br />
back on it, th<strong>in</strong>ks possibly what troubles her now is retrospect<br />
and anger, a punishment for long-masked <strong>in</strong>difference to her<br />
mother's death. She had worn mourn<strong>in</strong>g, comforted her father<br />
and been the dutiful daughter for months. Still, the quick <strong>of</strong> her<br />
rema<strong>in</strong>ed untouched; she could not help half-smil<strong>in</strong>g at a term<br />
like "well preserved"; it reeked <strong>of</strong> candied yams and pickles and<br />
vegetable permanence, not health. She had broken from her<br />
mother with a break so absolute it had appeared to heal.<br />
Yet noth<strong>in</strong>g is that simple, she knows now. No such fracture<br />
mends. She wishes she could spend the time with that<br />
society lady whom <strong>in</strong> that time she wished to avoid. The image <strong>of</strong><br />
her mother — stern-seem<strong>in</strong>g, brittle, sitt<strong>in</strong>g with her long legs<br />
crossed and read<strong>in</strong>g The New Yorker their one summer <strong>in</strong> Vermont<br />
(when first, at thirteen, she'd met Judah; when her family elected<br />
once to take an <strong>in</strong>land holiday but hated it, hated the heat and the<br />
flies and lack <strong>of</strong> salt water and seafood; "We tried," her mother<br />
said. "We gave it every opportunity. You have to give us that.") —<br />
is an image <strong>of</strong> life lost.<br />
But though Maggie now might see herself as her mother's<br />
look-alike and has tried to <strong>of</strong>fer Jane what she herself never<br />
received, her father was not Judah — never was. She loved him<br />
without reservation, but he made her smile. Even <strong>in</strong> his f<strong>in</strong>al<br />
years, liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> retirement <strong>in</strong> Wellfleet and careless <strong>of</strong> his cloth<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
fixated on his Rhodes 19, even <strong>in</strong> his death-bed rant<strong>in</strong>gs the<br />
man was more comic than fierce. The Cutler <strong>in</strong> her had been<br />
banished when she married Judah Sherbrooke, and she wanted<br />
it that way. She put all that beh<strong>in</strong>d her when she entered the<br />
Big House.<br />
72<br />
Maggie Alone<br />
Maggie walked on marble then. Peacock's walkways had<br />
been marble, brought from the quarries at Danby or Proctor, and<br />
the path he laid out through the grounds would sh<strong>in</strong>e <strong>in</strong> the new<br />
moon. The village, too, had had marble sidewalks. North Street<br />
and West Street and Ma<strong>in</strong> Street used the broad, slick stone for<br />
vjng — and s<strong>in</strong>ce there were no streetlights, such sheen was an<br />
advantage. She remembers the bright reach <strong>of</strong> it like wake beh<strong>in</strong>d<br />
a boat, the feel <strong>of</strong> her heels <strong>in</strong> the slight corrugations and how the<br />
fac<strong>in</strong>g had pocked.<br />
But the elders <strong>of</strong> the village thought such grandeur commonplace;<br />
you couldn't give marble away. It was slippery when<br />
wet. It made Elvirah Hayes so nervous she walked <strong>in</strong> the mud by<br />
preference. Agnes Nickerson fell <strong>in</strong> front <strong>of</strong> Morrissey's grocery<br />
store and cracked her knee open and fractured her hip. Samson<br />
F<strong>in</strong>ney said that marble had three uses only: it's useful for statues<br />
and tombstones and s<strong>in</strong>ks.<br />
So two years after Maggie came they cracked up the pav<strong>in</strong>g<br />
or levered it <strong>of</strong>f to the side. They jo<strong>in</strong>ed the state sidewalk<br />
program, gett<strong>in</strong>g cross-walks and poured cement slabs. That was<br />
an improvement, Samson said, though not so good for lawsuits<br />
or the tourist trade. Then tra<strong>in</strong>s stopped com<strong>in</strong>g too. When<br />
Maggie first arrived there had been n<strong>in</strong>e tra<strong>in</strong>s head<strong>in</strong>g north per<br />
day, and n<strong>in</strong>e tra<strong>in</strong>s head<strong>in</strong>g south.<br />
The village is a los<strong>in</strong>g proposition; Samson tells her why.<br />
The price <strong>of</strong> fuel oil and the price <strong>of</strong> gasol<strong>in</strong>e is prohibitive and<br />
gett<strong>in</strong>g worse; real estate's too high. Industry goes south or west<br />
or simply goes bankrupt and quits; the Route 7 bypass won't<br />
work. It will take tourists past the town, not cause them to stop<br />
<strong>of</strong>f and visit; our <strong>in</strong>dustry is tourists now, he says. Half the state<br />
is pay<strong>in</strong>g for the other half to live on welfare; it used to be<br />
seventy-thirty, but now it's half and half. He's seen breadl<strong>in</strong>es<br />
before and hell see them aga<strong>in</strong> if he lives. I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you the<br />
truth, he says, as if she might not otherwise agree; you'll see<br />
fight<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the streets before you see the Welfare System fixed.<br />
Samson has aged. He comes to visit Maggie once a month<br />
and calls her every week; his visits are ceremonial always, and<br />
he br<strong>in</strong>gs a gift for Jane. He is her only visitor and one authentic<br />
73
Delbanco<br />
guest. He sits and rem<strong>in</strong>isces <strong>in</strong> the leather block-chair Judah<br />
liked, the strongest l<strong>in</strong>k to Judah left, tell<strong>in</strong>g his widow how they<br />
would carouse, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g Irish whiskey neat and patt<strong>in</strong>g his lipg<br />
with his tie. "To hell <strong>in</strong> a handcart," he says. "It was Judah's<br />
expression. Or m<strong>in</strong>e. I'm not sure I recall which one <strong>of</strong> us began it<br />
— but every time I'd use the phrase he'd say you mean handcar,<br />
not handcart, and we'd argue over that. Or maybe it was me<br />
who'd say handcar and him who'd say handcart, I can't remember."<br />
Samson bl<strong>in</strong>ks. "It doesn't matter anyhow, it's just an<br />
expression. The world's gone to hell <strong>in</strong> a handcart. Let's celebrate<br />
the world."<br />
His suits are threadbare now, his socks are at his ankles,<br />
and he walks with an umbrella as a cane. In the chair across<br />
from her he scratches at the armrest. "Noth<strong>in</strong>g's what it seems<br />
like any more. You build a road, it hadn't ought to be a one-way<br />
proposition, not only be a bypass and take you somewhere else.<br />
You mark my words," he says, "I'm tell<strong>in</strong>g you God's truth."<br />
Ma<strong>in</strong> Street won't be any use to anyone but bicyclists; weeds<br />
will make it to the middle l<strong>in</strong>e and daisies push up through the<br />
cracks. What the state can do to pasture if it puts a highway<br />
through is only one side <strong>of</strong> the co<strong>in</strong>, says Samson; they'll be<br />
graz<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f <strong>of</strong> Ma<strong>in</strong> Street soon enough. He can remember<br />
when the airport was a cabbage field — thirty acres planted <strong>in</strong><br />
red and white alternate sections. Up there from Mount Anthony<br />
it looked like Frederick Matteson was play<strong>in</strong>g checkers<br />
with a giant, he had it planted so perfect. So when the runways<br />
crumble it can be a cabbage field aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />
The town's been good to him; he isn't say<strong>in</strong>g otherwise, and<br />
he's settled someth<strong>in</strong>g on Jane. It won't make her rich, Samson<br />
says. She doesn't need it anyhow, but it makes him feel like<br />
when he's gone he'll keep on go<strong>in</strong>g with that girl; she, Maggie,<br />
mustn't m<strong>in</strong>d. Old men are forgetful, he says, but one th<strong>in</strong>g<br />
they remember is mortality. He, Samson, recollects that clear as<br />
clear. One th<strong>in</strong>g he remembers is the way she looked <strong>in</strong> '38, her<br />
Calamity Jane outfit on and rid<strong>in</strong>g that merry-go-round like it<br />
was an actual horse.<br />
74<br />
Maggie Alone<br />
In the f<strong>in</strong>al months <strong>of</strong> Judah's life, they attended the church<br />
oyster supper. He had been do<strong>in</strong>g so, he said, s<strong>in</strong>ce 1946. It<br />
wasn't the Sherbrooke church, wasn't even local, was twenty<br />
miles <strong>of</strong> dirt road <strong>in</strong>to the next county and down by Hoosac<br />
Falls- But Judah said they served the best oysters, from here to<br />
k<strong>in</strong>gdom come, and it didn't matter where you lived and didn't<br />
much matter what faith you pr<strong>of</strong>essed <strong>in</strong> order to have faith <strong>in</strong><br />
this: Ralph Anderson knew oysters and where to order them<br />
cheap. He, Judah, had cherished raw oysters. He'd be a doubledyed<br />
Baptist on Thursday, he said, if they allowed only Baptists<br />
<strong>in</strong>side; he'd help fence the graveyard where the graveyard fence<br />
fell down; if born-aga<strong>in</strong> Christians got second help<strong>in</strong>gs he'd be<br />
born aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />
But though the congregation had first licks at" the first feed<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
there was always enough to go round. They sold tickets to<br />
the supper six weeks <strong>in</strong> advance. By two weeks thereafter they<br />
were sold out, and Judah was part <strong>of</strong> the list. He'd buy up a<br />
table's worth anyhow, and take his sister Hattie and Samson<br />
F<strong>in</strong>ney and Maggie, if she were will<strong>in</strong>g. If the table was partempty,<br />
so much the better, Judah said, that means there's extra<br />
for us.<br />
The feast was <strong>in</strong> October, and the afternoon was bright.<br />
They waited <strong>in</strong> a pew. Ralph Anderson announced the numbers,<br />
call<strong>in</strong>g them <strong>of</strong>f <strong>in</strong> tens, and meanwhile try<strong>in</strong>g to sell cranberry<br />
bread and fudge and relish <strong>in</strong> the vestibule where the ladies<br />
displayed baked goods. Maggie looked around her and was<br />
shocked. How could they all have grown so fat, she asked herself,<br />
so old <strong>in</strong> the years s<strong>in</strong>ce she'd last attended, so blue-haired<br />
and bedecked with rh<strong>in</strong>estone f<strong>in</strong>ery? The ladies smiled and<br />
nodded. The men waved. The carpenter from Shady Hill had a<br />
new set <strong>of</strong> teeth. His mouth made appreciative separate motions<br />
as he praised the oyster stew. There would be raw oysters, then<br />
stew, then scalloped oysters, then pie. There were mashed potatoes<br />
and squash and rolls and c<strong>of</strong>fee provided gratis, Hattie said,<br />
so all the Baptists had to pay for were the oysters brought north<br />
<strong>in</strong> bulk.<br />
Their numbers were called. She helped Judah downstairs.<br />
He made space for himself, as always, and seemed the largest<br />
75
i<br />
Delbanco<br />
person there, though his gait was shambl<strong>in</strong>g and his bulk had<br />
been reduced. He busied himself, as he did always, assess<strong>in</strong>g the<br />
even<strong>in</strong>g's probable pr<strong>of</strong>it — the total take at five dollars a head,<br />
m<strong>in</strong>us the expenses. He worked out the figures aloud. "Onehundred-thirty-seven<br />
folks at a sitt<strong>in</strong>g," he said. "Four sitt<strong>in</strong>gs,<br />
right? That's five-forty-eight times five. Not count<strong>in</strong>g those<br />
who eat free. They clear fifteen hundred easy, maybe eighteen<br />
hundred, depend<strong>in</strong>g on the freight."<br />
Their waitress knew the Sherbrookes; she filled their water<br />
cups. She told Judah how well he was look<strong>in</strong>g, told Maggie it<br />
was wonderful to have her back aga<strong>in</strong>. She bet Samson he<br />
wished it was g<strong>in</strong>, told Hattie how the day before they'd had a<br />
hepatitis scare and thought they'd have to cancel — how someone<br />
down <strong>in</strong> Chesapeake had called up Adam Chamberla<strong>in</strong> and<br />
said these oysters came from beds the state had put <strong>in</strong> quarant<strong>in</strong>e.<br />
"Not fit for local consumption," she said. "But OK to ship<br />
out <strong>of</strong> state — can you imag<strong>in</strong>e?" So Ralph had been up half the<br />
night check<strong>in</strong>g out the accusation, mak<strong>in</strong>g certa<strong>in</strong> there was<br />
noth<strong>in</strong>g to it, mak<strong>in</strong>g certa<strong>in</strong> what they had were prime-grade<br />
oysters with no question mark attached. "Truth is," she said, "if<br />
I'd have to get sick, this isn't the way I would like to. Catch me<br />
eat<strong>in</strong>g them raw. ..." She shook her head and topped up Judah's<br />
plastic bowl. "Cholesterol," she told him. "Heavy on cholesterol.<br />
That's what oysters are."<br />
Maggie picked and chewed. There were bowls <strong>of</strong> cocktail<br />
sauce and crackers, jugs <strong>of</strong> v<strong>in</strong>egar. The oysters seemed str<strong>in</strong>gy<br />
and thick. She had difficulty swallow<strong>in</strong>g; the mixture adhered to<br />
her throat. Those <strong>in</strong> the group around her asked for second<br />
help<strong>in</strong>gs; Maggie blew her nose. In the next <strong>in</strong>stant, with her<br />
handkerchief still at her mouth, she bl<strong>in</strong>ked to clear her eyes.<br />
She could not see. Then Maggie saw the room as if through<br />
water, with the steel columns kelp and the many- f<strong>in</strong>gered children<br />
wav<strong>in</strong>g at her languidly. There were solemn-eyed strangers<br />
like fish. They snouted up aga<strong>in</strong>st their plates. She shook.<br />
There was coral all around her, and its edges were knife-sharp.<br />
The light above was like the light through water impossibly<br />
deep. She pressed her nose and fought for air.<br />
76<br />
Maggie Alone<br />
Samson had a pocket flask. He uncorked it and poured<br />
whiskey <strong>in</strong> her c<strong>of</strong>fee cup. "Good for what ails you," he w<strong>in</strong>ked.<br />
"It makes Irish c<strong>of</strong>fee, is all." Upstairs the next set <strong>of</strong> celebrants<br />
waited.<br />
Maggie drank. The c<strong>of</strong>fee failed to warm her but it cleared<br />
her sight. That <strong>in</strong>stant she knew she would leave. She'd<br />
thought life with Judah might last. Then when he died she<br />
thought to mourn him <strong>in</strong> the proper context; then she was<br />
pregnant with Jane. In the sixth month <strong>of</strong> her pregnancy she<br />
dreamed nightly <strong>of</strong> escape, but there had been nowhere to go.<br />
Then for a while it seemed that stay<strong>in</strong>g would be pleasant and<br />
convenient; then <strong>in</strong>ertia mounted up and everyth<strong>in</strong>g was stasis<br />
and she could not move.<br />
Yet these faces and bodies repelled her, this white flesh<br />
wander<strong>in</strong>g from feed<strong>in</strong>g-perch to feed<strong>in</strong>g-perch, these up-country<br />
citizens who hated her and would hate Jane. They <strong>in</strong>serted<br />
their teeth after the curried oysters and before the bread. They<br />
were her enemies. Their names were Harr<strong>in</strong>gton and Cooper<br />
and Hall; their names were on the stones outside and would be<br />
<strong>in</strong>cised soon aga<strong>in</strong>. "If this is the salt <strong>of</strong> the earth," she said to<br />
Samson F<strong>in</strong>ney, "I'll go on a salt-free diet." He studied her,<br />
concerned. "They're good folks," Samson said. "They may be<br />
dull and pious and whatnot, but they're law-abid<strong>in</strong>g folk."<br />
Maggie checked her face <strong>in</strong> her p<strong>in</strong>k compact mirror. "Bad<br />
for bus<strong>in</strong>ess," she said. She had tried to humor him but he was<br />
unamused. These people would brand her if they dared, had<br />
branded her <strong>in</strong> their m<strong>in</strong>d's eyes already, would tar and feather<br />
her and run her out <strong>of</strong> town except she owned the town.<br />
This last phrase is theatrical. She does not own the town.<br />
That was be<strong>in</strong>g proved. Nor do they bother her or come to call<br />
except each second Thursday while she hides <strong>in</strong> her room. But<br />
they roil about beneath her like carp after bread; they lurch and<br />
snap and swallow <strong>in</strong>discrim<strong>in</strong>ately. Jane cannot live here, she<br />
knows. Jane will have to leave, as her brother Ian and Maggie<br />
herself had left. When the gong sounded and the five o'clock<br />
set-to arose, shuffl<strong>in</strong>g, scrap<strong>in</strong>g back their chairs, swallow<strong>in</strong>g as<br />
if <strong>in</strong> unison that last chunk <strong>of</strong> lemon mer<strong>in</strong>gue, Maggie thought<br />
77
Delbanco<br />
she would not make it, not climb up the stairs beh<strong>in</strong>d Judah —he<br />
need<strong>in</strong>g no help now but strid<strong>in</strong>g, hands <strong>in</strong> his pockets puff<strong>in</strong>g<br />
out the flannel, fetch<strong>in</strong>g his cigar-case and tell<strong>in</strong>g Samson, "We<br />
might as well have us a smoke."<br />
The men bit cigar-ends and spat. Hattie had excused herself,<br />
drift<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f to visit with the Conovers. Judah and Samson<br />
traded jokes the way they traded cigars. They'd been do<strong>in</strong>g so<br />
for decades, and Maggie scarcely listened, and she wondered if<br />
they listened to each other anymore — they must have known<br />
the repertoire by heart. It wasn't as if they collected jokes or<br />
told them well; it was more a ritual observance, a way <strong>of</strong> stat<strong>in</strong>g<br />
fellowship.<br />
"Did you hear the one?" asked Samson, "about this k<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong><br />
Africa who got himself a modern house with all our Foreign<br />
Aid? So he had this fancy chair, see, with jewels on the headrest<br />
and leopard-sk<strong>in</strong> pillows, and they looked through the picture<br />
w<strong>in</strong>dow and saw it and deposed him. Killed the k<strong>in</strong>g." He<br />
paused; he puffed smoke circles. "Which only goes to prove," he<br />
said. "That people who live <strong>in</strong> glass houses shouldn't stow<br />
thrones."<br />
Judah laughed. He threw back his head and repeated the<br />
punch l<strong>in</strong>e: "Stow thrones." His white hair was fluffy with wash<strong>in</strong>g;<br />
it bunched at the back <strong>of</strong> his neck. He w<strong>in</strong>ked down at Maggie<br />
and asked, "You ever hear that one? Stow thrones."<br />
"She's heard it," Samson said.<br />
They were stand<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> the vestibule, and Maggie stepped<br />
outside. She'd brought no wrap because the afternoon was<br />
warm, but now she shivered, wait<strong>in</strong>g. Judah collected his coat.<br />
The lights were on <strong>in</strong> the church, and the park<strong>in</strong>g lot was full, and<br />
cars l<strong>in</strong>ed the dirt road. A policeman waved at traffic, and a<br />
woman <strong>in</strong> a wheelchair waited for a lift. Maggie saw the white .<br />
curl <strong>of</strong> smoke from a chimney to the east, the sickle moon above<br />
her and a far plane, bl<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g. She felt herself so alien <strong>in</strong> this [<br />
country company — so balanced between shame and scorn —<br />
that she began to cry. She licked her lips and tasted salt; she<br />
would weep this way for years.<br />
78<br />
Maggie Alone<br />
She sits. Her luggage tilts towards her, and she steadies it.<br />
cne remembers f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g Judah on the night <strong>of</strong> her return. They'd<br />
been apart for seven years; then he <strong>in</strong>formed her he was dy<strong>in</strong>g<br />
and she took the bus north and stayed. That night he tried to<br />
sleep with her and failed. She fell asleep beneath him and woke to<br />
f<strong>in</strong>d him gone. His departure had been noiseless, and her first<br />
wak<strong>in</strong>g thought (who had slept alone for seven years, or mostly,<br />
stay<strong>in</strong>g with her lovers only on occasion, with Andrew for a<br />
month, liv<strong>in</strong>g with no one but Judah though she lived on Sutton<br />
place and he had never visited) was that she'd dreamed return.<br />
The room had the dim light <strong>of</strong> dream. When she realized that the<br />
weight that fell asleep atop her, seem<strong>in</strong>g to her terrified senses<br />
the weight <strong>of</strong> death arrived to dally, dead weight press<strong>in</strong>g on her<br />
breasts as Judah's proved repro<strong>of</strong> — when she realized that he'd<br />
left her bed but had been an actual presence, and she was <strong>in</strong><br />
Vermont — she woke and rose and followed him and went to<br />
set th<strong>in</strong>gs straight.<br />
He was not <strong>in</strong> the house. She tried each room, from basement<br />
to cupola, not want<strong>in</strong>g to rouse Hattie or signal her alarm.<br />
But she had been alarmed. His clothes were by the bed, for<br />
<strong>in</strong>stance, and she did not know his dress<strong>in</strong>g gowns and coats<br />
sufficiently to know if he'd donned one <strong>of</strong> them; <strong>in</strong> their seven<br />
years apart his wardrobe would have changed. She switched on<br />
every light <strong>in</strong> the house. She looked <strong>in</strong> every closet, <strong>in</strong> the<br />
elevator and the basement, leav<strong>in</strong>g only Hattie's room unlit. The<br />
place seemed huge, illimitable, a cave <strong>in</strong> which she hunted him<br />
but knew there'd be no trace.<br />
She tried the pantry last. The storm door to the back porch<br />
had been <strong>in</strong>securely closed. The door had slipped its latch. She<br />
knew on the <strong>in</strong>stant how Judah escaped; he'd done what she<br />
used to do <strong>of</strong>ten, leav<strong>in</strong>g the Big House beh<strong>in</strong>d, walk<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong>f the<br />
heat or shame or argument or airlessness <strong>of</strong> life with<strong>in</strong> such<br />
walls. He was out on the land where she never could track him,<br />
where privacy cont<strong>in</strong>ued. He had <strong>in</strong>vited her <strong>in</strong>to the mansion<br />
— <strong>in</strong>vited her <strong>in</strong> 1938 when first they met, when she was lost;<br />
<strong>in</strong>vited her aga<strong>in</strong> a decade later when they met at Morrissey's<br />
grocery by seem<strong>in</strong>g accident which they soon enough, <strong>in</strong> the<br />
silly-sweet aftermath <strong>of</strong> their new nakedness together, agreed to<br />
79
Delbanco<br />
call fore-orda<strong>in</strong>ed; <strong>in</strong>vited her to marry him and enter countless<br />
times thereafter, to come back from Providence, Boston, New<br />
York, to come back then <strong>in</strong> April, 1976, and have the house<br />
declared — <strong>in</strong> Ian's absence, Samson's acquiescent presence,<br />
Hattie's powerless abid<strong>in</strong>g — her own.<br />
Yet the land rema<strong>in</strong>ed utterly his. She owned it outright also,<br />
but she could not br<strong>in</strong>g herself alone to roam its thousand acres<br />
as she did when at his side. So all through the dawn <strong>of</strong> her<br />
first day's return she waited by his exit door, wear<strong>in</strong>g her travel<strong>in</strong>g<br />
clothes, dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g c<strong>of</strong>fee <strong>in</strong> the kitchen and huddled to the<br />
stove. The world might be no merry-go-round, nor memory a<br />
carousel — but Maggie was assailed by circularity. He had been<br />
as lost to her when by the elms or sugar-house as she had been<br />
to him before, <strong>in</strong>stalled <strong>in</strong> Manhattan. At eight o'clock that<br />
morn<strong>in</strong>g, while Hattie was stirr<strong>in</strong>g above, when Maggie was on<br />
her third cup and her stomach would not settle, Judah walked <strong>in</strong><br />
from the porch. His step was slow. His lips were blue. His boots<br />
were unlaced, and he had had bits <strong>of</strong> straw all over his duckhunt<strong>in</strong>g<br />
jacket.<br />
"Still here, I see," Judah said.<br />
"Still here."<br />
"Sleep well?"<br />
"No, I didn't. Did you?"<br />
He made no answer, blew on his hands. She rose and<br />
poured him c<strong>of</strong>fee. "Two sugars?"<br />
"Thank you." His hands had been raw. He folded them<br />
around the mug so that she could not see the mug, and steam<br />
rose from his thumbs. They made a k<strong>in</strong>d <strong>of</strong> peace together,<br />
dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g, silent, and it lasted. Later that morn<strong>in</strong>g she did go<br />
outside. She found hay-bales drawn together by the barn, and<br />
some <strong>of</strong> them were loosened where he'd made the hay his pallet<br />
for the night. She'd known (not need<strong>in</strong>g to confirm this by the<br />
match-book ly<strong>in</strong>g there, the few charred stalks and shooks) that<br />
Judah had endured the April watch outside, rel<strong>in</strong>quish<strong>in</strong>g the<br />
house to her for what would prove forever.<br />
But forever was five years. Six months later Judah died, and<br />
six months later their son Ian returned, and six months thereafter,<br />
more or less, Hattie left the Big House and threw herself<br />
Maggie Alone<br />
jnto the pond. Then the circle was complete. Then the hired<br />
man did burn the hay and burn the barn and burn himself,<br />
though drunk and not <strong>in</strong>tend<strong>in</strong>g to, not conscious <strong>of</strong> the carousel<br />
and how his action f<strong>in</strong>ished what her last return began.<br />
Maggie watches herself <strong>in</strong> the w<strong>in</strong>dow. It is deep dark outside,<br />
and the light beh<strong>in</strong>d her renders the pane a mirror; she<br />
studies her own face. The women <strong>of</strong> the house, it seems, are<br />
those who leave, whereas the men rema<strong>in</strong>. She buckles the first<br />
two bags. Forever is five years, she th<strong>in</strong>ks; there's noth<strong>in</strong>g but<br />
death that endures. And short <strong>of</strong> such f<strong>in</strong>ality all action is irresolute.<br />
Judah failed to burn the barn, the hired man survived his<br />
burns,. Ian gutted that honeymoon house — the Greek Revival<br />
shell on the edge <strong>of</strong> their land he'd planned at first to renovate.<br />
But soon enough he left it and returned, his father's son, to<br />
where they both began. Now that she, Maggie, was leav<strong>in</strong>g he<br />
would feel free to marry and start the Sherbrooke l<strong>in</strong>e aga<strong>in</strong>.<br />
She wishes him well. She tells him goodbye. She'd thought that<br />
four years previous she'd said goodbye to Andrew, but he's<br />
dr<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g downstairs <strong>in</strong> their daughter's presence and about to<br />
eat truite almand<strong>in</strong>e.<br />
jane, pla<strong>in</strong> ]ane, Calamity ]ane, Jane )ane come <strong>in</strong> from the ra<strong>in</strong><br />
— Maggie rests her forehead on the glass. It is cold. She has<br />
wanted to jump. Often <strong>in</strong> the months gone past she'd thought<br />
such pa<strong>in</strong> could not be borne, need not be borne; breath<strong>in</strong>g was<br />
too much to ask. Hattie had quit; she could too. There's noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>in</strong> the pure pla<strong>in</strong> fact <strong>of</strong> last<strong>in</strong>gness to praise. Death lasts beyond<br />
all last<strong>in</strong>gness, so why put pancake make-up on the agel<strong>in</strong>es<br />
<strong>in</strong> her neck?<br />
Jane is the answer, <strong>of</strong> course. She is the s<strong>in</strong>gle reason, and it<br />
suffices. Maggie cannot jump — cannot open the w<strong>in</strong>dow even<br />
for fear <strong>of</strong> the sweet whiff <strong>of</strong> freedom <strong>in</strong> jump<strong>in</strong>g. She tries. She<br />
sits on the bed's edge and writes, us<strong>in</strong>g her yellow notepad and<br />
the toilet case as surface, us<strong>in</strong>g a ball po<strong>in</strong>t pen. "Darl<strong>in</strong>g," she<br />
writes. "I don't expect you to understand now, but maybe later<br />
you'll understand. Keep this letter, please. It will tell you sometime<br />
what you'll want to know — I loved you, love you, will<br />
cont<strong>in</strong>ue lov<strong>in</strong>g you until there's no life left. My death does not<br />
concern you. It should be set apart. It must not worry you. It..."<br />
80 81
Delbanco<br />
Maggie stops. She is not serious. She tries this letter on for<br />
size like an ill-fitt<strong>in</strong>g dress; its l<strong>in</strong>es are not her l<strong>in</strong>es. She takes a<br />
second tack. "The only th<strong>in</strong>g that frightens me is that you'll feel<br />
responsible — not now, I mean not now when Ian and Andrew<br />
will take good care <strong>of</strong> you. I've gone on a trip, they will say.<br />
Remember when we gave you goldfish for your birthday? And<br />
you woke up the next morn<strong>in</strong>g say<strong>in</strong>g you were just so lucky<br />
that the goldfish could be pets? Well they'd died that night — it<br />
happens to fish <strong>of</strong>ten on their way back from Mammoth Mart. I<br />
tiptoed <strong>in</strong> that night to see how you were do<strong>in</strong>g, and they'd<br />
floated to the top. We flushed them down the toilet, Ian and I.<br />
You wouldn't take no for an answer. I had to lie to you — it's<br />
the first time I remember do<strong>in</strong>g that — and pretended they'd<br />
gone for a swim. They were fish that belonged <strong>in</strong> the river but<br />
they'd surely be right back. You went back to sleep, it didn't<br />
seem to bother you. I bothered me. It would bother me if Ian or<br />
your father says that I've gone on a trip."<br />
She takes a second sheet. Her handwrit<strong>in</strong>g is clear. "You<br />
never asked about Judah, so I didn't have to lie. You never knew<br />
him so it wasn't a loss, really, and Ian has been wonderful and<br />
Andrew will be wonderful and everyth<strong>in</strong>g will work out f<strong>in</strong>e. If<br />
you don't feel responsible. I'm old and weak. Go<strong>in</strong>g back to New<br />
York means beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g aga<strong>in</strong>, and I'm not sure I can manage it.<br />
But you must manage it, my darl<strong>in</strong>g."<br />
Maggie stands. She folds the sheets, then tears them twice<br />
and lets the letter drop. She turns <strong>of</strong>f the light and goes out.<br />
82<br />
Elizabeth Weber<br />
Sachertorte<br />
Perhaps this land is too bright,<br />
hills, grass, towns and people<br />
washed to noth<strong>in</strong>g, and we come back<br />
to where we started, not car<strong>in</strong>g<br />
if little Arturio's father<br />
gets drunk and beats him, or Sabriana<br />
has syphilis because after all, this is what<br />
the world is.<br />
And what does it matter<br />
if that founta<strong>in</strong> has stood five hundred years.<br />
That they took n<strong>in</strong>e hundred men<br />
and shot them before the eyes<br />
<strong>of</strong> the village women<br />
say<strong>in</strong>g don't do anyth<strong>in</strong>g, don't try<br />
anyth<strong>in</strong>g. Their blood is gone<br />
and now children run shriek<strong>in</strong>g<br />
their joy.<br />
And this sadness<br />
you drag along like a cat is not sadness.<br />
It is perhaps your blood<br />
craves someth<strong>in</strong>g sweet,<br />
a Sachertorte, a k<strong>in</strong>d word, here or there.<br />
We stra<strong>in</strong> towards someth<strong>in</strong>g<br />
we can name, the light that spr<strong>in</strong>gs<br />
from the founta<strong>in</strong>,<br />
until fields wav<strong>in</strong>g madly disappear<br />
with the th<strong>in</strong> sorrow that keeps us.<br />
83
P. B. Newman<br />
The Light <strong>of</strong> the Red Horse<br />
(Paralysis by Guillian-Barre's Syndrome<br />
She th<strong>in</strong>ks,<br />
pa<strong>in</strong> is like golden z<strong>in</strong>nias<br />
cutt<strong>in</strong>g you with their stiff leaves,<br />
crushed glass <strong>in</strong> your mouth blood.<br />
There are different k<strong>in</strong>ds <strong>of</strong> pa<strong>in</strong>.<br />
There is the blood bit<strong>in</strong>g your lips<br />
<strong>in</strong> childbirth, one pa<strong>in</strong> fight<strong>in</strong>g another,<br />
someth<strong>in</strong>g good.<br />
Then there is the old helpless pa<strong>in</strong>,<br />
evil, unendurable.<br />
The paralysis beg<strong>in</strong>s <strong>in</strong> your left hand.<br />
It draws the nerves together, numb,<br />
and you cannot even p<strong>in</strong>ch. Then<br />
your left foot beg<strong>in</strong>s to st<strong>in</strong>g a little.<br />
There is no p<strong>in</strong>ch like that ceas<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
At first I thought I'll be able to die<br />
and I won't even be able to scream.<br />
My cells remember<strong>in</strong>g themselves,<br />
some promise that<br />
discover<strong>in</strong>g<br />
they drew to a higher level<br />
throw<strong>in</strong>g it all on one gallop.<br />
Like the promise <strong>of</strong> a short life<br />
heavenly green up through the splitt<strong>in</strong>g red.<br />
On horseback.<br />
Indian women squat the child<br />
fight<strong>in</strong>g like the light aga<strong>in</strong>st their eyes<br />
84<br />
squeez<strong>in</strong>g their mouths shut rid<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
A great red horse. Rid<strong>in</strong>g the sun.<br />
You skim the light <strong>of</strong> geraniums<br />
a flam<strong>in</strong>g taste like ajis the children<br />
would taste them though we told them not to.<br />
Rubb<strong>in</strong>g sugar on their lips like babies cry<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
A flame like pepper feel<strong>in</strong>g noth<strong>in</strong>g<br />
though they wipe your lips the blood<br />
runn<strong>in</strong>g where you bit no taste.<br />
The blood runn<strong>in</strong>g where they shaved<br />
you <strong>in</strong> the crotch, your feet <strong>in</strong> stirrups<br />
like a horseman his feet <strong>in</strong> blood fight<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
the sun swell<strong>in</strong>g between your legs<br />
br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g to birth its light.<br />
Pa<strong>in</strong> like carnations<br />
that bites deep <strong>in</strong>to your guts<br />
that s<strong>in</strong>ks roots <strong>in</strong>to your belly and grips<br />
your backbone while your eyes fill with red.<br />
Pa<strong>in</strong> like sky rockets<br />
light open<strong>in</strong>g and burn<strong>in</strong>g more<br />
<strong>in</strong>to the darkness that never burns<br />
that's always cool and slow and deep.<br />
And you fight deeper swimm<strong>in</strong>g deeper<br />
<strong>in</strong> the coolness remember<strong>in</strong>g childbirth<br />
pa<strong>in</strong> your lips bit<strong>in</strong>g and the blood<br />
the rockets tear<strong>in</strong>g and flash<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to<br />
the darkness while you remember<br />
surfac<strong>in</strong>g the light waves pour<strong>in</strong>g<br />
over you and the gulls high and turn<strong>in</strong>g<br />
on the sea w<strong>in</strong>d they hardly moved<br />
their w<strong>in</strong>gs<br />
<strong>in</strong> the dust <strong>of</strong> the salt air beat<strong>in</strong>g<br />
aga<strong>in</strong>st them.<br />
Newman<br />
soar<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong>to<br />
85
The Light <strong>of</strong> the Red Horse<br />
And the peaceful feel<strong>in</strong>g as your guts tore<br />
and the child came out the last<br />
impossible push it gave and climb<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>of</strong>f your horse you looked down<br />
at the body<br />
not your own the death your life<br />
the child your enemy your gift.<br />
Hathaway<br />
Color<strong>in</strong>g Margar<strong>in</strong>e<br />
On the top step with s<strong>of</strong>t kitchen light<br />
beh<strong>in</strong>d us and dank cellar gloom<strong>in</strong>g below<br />
we sat together knead<strong>in</strong>g the yellow <strong>in</strong>to<br />
white margar<strong>in</strong>e. Older and stronger, you<br />
always got the longest turn, I remember.<br />
Mother's radio was always play<strong>in</strong>g "tunes"<br />
by Percy Faith and his orchestra, I th<strong>in</strong>k.<br />
That was the music we beat and squeezed to,<br />
and it seemed the yellow product tasted better.<br />
I lack patience with the college girl who cuddles<br />
her new kitten <strong>in</strong> my class. She lets it crawl<br />
underneath her sweater, between her terrific<br />
breasts, and because I am weak I force a sickly<br />
smile. This is not <strong>in</strong>nocence, but its cynical<br />
use. I would be labeled cynic if I leveled<br />
a repro<strong>of</strong>, s<strong>in</strong>ce the girls pretend to th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
the cat is cute and the boys are dazzled by her tits.<br />
Could I work this little vignette <strong>in</strong>to the textbook<br />
honesty <strong>of</strong> Cordelia and Kent? Instead<br />
I take a tangent with aimless anecdotes<br />
<strong>of</strong> sibl<strong>in</strong>g rivalry. This kitten, class, and play<br />
do not <strong>in</strong>terest me as much as a memory <strong>of</strong> you<br />
slid<strong>in</strong>g back <strong>in</strong> focus — clutch<strong>in</strong>g our cat<br />
<strong>in</strong> such sweet dishonesty when I came to punch<br />
you back. O you knew my frail honor<br />
would permit me to pound a girl, if she was<br />
sister, but parental rules forbad<br />
the strik<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> that cat. Other th<strong>in</strong>gs come<br />
86 87
Hathaway<br />
back: the time you were spanked too for not<br />
tell<strong>in</strong>g that I alone ru<strong>in</strong>ed Grandmother's fox<br />
with gum. Later, shut together <strong>in</strong> the scary closet<br />
with that dripp<strong>in</strong>g beast, its glass eyes<br />
strangely lit with malice and reproach, we<br />
were as close as we ever were. Your senseless<br />
sacrifice made sense to you, I am sure. Though<br />
I did not understand your female moods,<br />
grown-up talk at table, or the love mush<br />
on the radio. I still don't. Let me confess,<br />
<strong>in</strong> Lear the only character I fully understand<br />
is Edmund. Listen, do you remember what<br />
I'm remember<strong>in</strong>g now: When-e-ver we kiss/<br />
1 wor-ry and won-der/ you're close to me<br />
now/ but whe-re is your he-art?<br />
88<br />
Stephanie Gunn<br />
The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />
The Woman, twenty-n<strong>in</strong>e and lanky, was pregnant once<br />
for eight weeks. That was time enough for the fetus to<br />
have elbows and eye balls. If the Woman ate a green<br />
per <strong>in</strong> a summer salad, the fetus ate the same green pepper.<br />
The Woman called the fetus Carmella. Carmella's father just<br />
walked out the door. He is meet<strong>in</strong>g his wife and three lovely<br />
children <strong>in</strong> Wash<strong>in</strong>gton, D.C., where the five <strong>of</strong> them will fly to<br />
Brazil and stay for years <strong>in</strong> a village fecund with heat and nuts.<br />
There is an American school there. The Man is a pa<strong>in</strong>ter, a great<br />
and heartless pa<strong>in</strong>ter. He will live on an <strong>in</strong>heritance that will<br />
stretch out for years what would go <strong>in</strong> a flash around What<br />
Cheer, Massachusetts and Scrimshaw, New Jersey. He has left<br />
the Woman <strong>in</strong> her house <strong>in</strong> Woodstock, Vermont. In the kitchen.<br />
Do<strong>in</strong>g sixty dishes. He wasn't about to take her with him.<br />
Can't you see the <strong>in</strong>troduction: "Dear, this is my ever-frolick<strong>in</strong>g,<br />
ever-faithful mistress — Posey. She's decided to come along."<br />
A phone call comes to the Woman; she has passed the test.<br />
The Woman is, for this one <strong>in</strong>stant, the happiest she has ever<br />
been <strong>in</strong> her life. The Woman calls the Man on the phone. This is<br />
someth<strong>in</strong>g they agreed that she would never do. But the Woman<br />
senses celebration and, <strong>in</strong> her haste, <strong>in</strong> her total excitement,<br />
she cannot wait. The Man's wife answers the phone. The<br />
Woman asks to speak to the Man. The Man's wife calls him, and<br />
his "Hello" comes clearly on another extension. The Woman<br />
knows that the Man's wife is listen<strong>in</strong>g. The Woman says "Hello."<br />
She hears the Man take <strong>in</strong> a breath <strong>of</strong> surprise, <strong>of</strong> horror,<br />
maybe.<br />
89
Gunn<br />
"I called to tell you that — " the Woman beg<strong>in</strong>s <strong>in</strong> her haste,<br />
<strong>in</strong> her total excitement.<br />
"Listen," the Man <strong>in</strong>terrupts, "Where are you?" The Man is<br />
ask<strong>in</strong>g for time.<br />
"I'm where I usually am. Except that it isn't just me any<br />
more," the Woman replies.<br />
"Oh? George's there?" Who's George? "I'll call you back?"<br />
the Man says.<br />
"You best," the Woman says.<br />
"O.K. Ill do that then." The Man hangs up. Now the Woman<br />
and the Man's wife are on the phone alone, together. The<br />
Woman could tell the Man's wife. Surely she would listen. Surely<br />
she would hear. The Woman has to tell someone. But she<br />
replaces the phone on its cradle. Better not tell the Man's wife,<br />
the Woman supposes. Anyone but her.<br />
The Man calls the Woman the next morn<strong>in</strong>g from a phone<br />
booth <strong>in</strong> Georgetown. "How are you?" he breathes.<br />
"Me? I'm f<strong>in</strong>e . . . but we, you and I, are pregnant."<br />
"Oh Lord. I knew it had to be someth<strong>in</strong>g like that . . . you<br />
nearly told me on the phone yesterday, didn't you? My wife was<br />
listen<strong>in</strong>g, you know. She heard the whole th<strong>in</strong>g. What are you<br />
try<strong>in</strong>g to do?"<br />
"You're yell<strong>in</strong>g at me. I do not need that now." There is<br />
great ticker<strong>in</strong>g, rush<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> long distance.<br />
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to yell. I love you."<br />
"Will you be the father <strong>of</strong> our child?" the Woman asks the<br />
Man.<br />
"I don't see how I can," the Man says quietly.<br />
"You already are," the Woman says quieter.<br />
Til meet you <strong>in</strong> Boston. We'll f<strong>in</strong>d a doctor. I'll take care <strong>of</strong><br />
you," the Man says. And soon after their connection is broken.<br />
In Boston, the Woman and the Man sit closely on a couch <strong>in</strong><br />
a large room with festive wall paper. The Woman is called. She<br />
looks at the Man's eyes. "I will be here," he says. He kisses her<br />
s<strong>of</strong>tly on her lips and she is rem<strong>in</strong>ded <strong>of</strong> wet egg whites. The<br />
Woman rises and, with a group <strong>of</strong> others, is shuffled <strong>in</strong>to a<br />
90<br />
The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />
oom where some expla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g is done. But it's more about what<br />
happened, and how not to have it happen aga<strong>in</strong>, rather than<br />
hat is go<strong>in</strong>g to happen this afternoon. The Woman stands.<br />
"Excuse me? About this vacuum cleaner — what if it gets carried<br />
away? What if my stomach and liver and lungs go along<br />
with " The eyes <strong>of</strong> the herd turn upon the Woman with a<br />
vengeance that would silence the sound <strong>of</strong> even a river that has<br />
run hard and long and blue for many years.<br />
In the bathroom mirror the Woman looks for her image but<br />
sees only a form under a white sheet open at the back, a white<br />
back, eyes she has never seen before, eyes she does not know.<br />
The Woman is led <strong>in</strong>to a small white room where a mobile<br />
hangs above a cushioned white table top. Silver <strong>in</strong>struments<br />
sh<strong>in</strong>e at her. There is air condition<strong>in</strong>g. Not one w<strong>in</strong>dow. The<br />
Woman lies on the table and hikes her naked feet up onto the<br />
cold metal stirrups. A man who knows how to run the mach<strong>in</strong>e<br />
<strong>in</strong> the corner enters. The Woman shakes his hand <strong>in</strong> <strong>in</strong>troduction.<br />
In no time he clamps open her private parts. He tells her<br />
that he is go<strong>in</strong>g to shoot her <strong>in</strong>nermost open<strong>in</strong>g with someth<strong>in</strong>g<br />
that will numb her there. He will shoot <strong>in</strong> a circle four times —<br />
three o'clock, six o'clock, n<strong>in</strong>e o'clock, twelve o'clock. The Woman<br />
cannot th<strong>in</strong>k what he is talk<strong>in</strong>g about. "Will I be here all<br />
day?" she asks his dark head <strong>of</strong> hairs <strong>in</strong>tent between her legs.<br />
"Can I hold your hand?" the Woman asks an assistant who<br />
has just walked <strong>in</strong>.<br />
"Sure, Honey." Her hand is fleshier, older, warmer than the<br />
Woman's. The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner holds tub<strong>in</strong>g, a siphon at Carmella's<br />
mouth. The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner places his foot above a metal<br />
floor pedal and, with the caution <strong>of</strong> one who is at a sew<strong>in</strong>g<br />
mach<strong>in</strong>e, steps on it. The mach<strong>in</strong>e beg<strong>in</strong>s its hum. Carmella,<br />
sucked through see-through tubes, spills <strong>in</strong>to a s<strong>in</strong>k. The Woman<br />
is talk<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> her head. O god forgive me. Carmella forgive<br />
me. And out <strong>of</strong> her head, "What . . . what am I do<strong>in</strong>g . . ." The<br />
women's hands are soak<strong>in</strong>g and tight.<br />
It's O.K., honey. We're two-thirds done. Well count O.K.?<br />
Let's count. Well count to ten together. Come on ... one . . .<br />
two . .. three ... I'm count<strong>in</strong>g with you ..." Carmella, I'm sorry.<br />
Do you hear me, Carmella? CARMELLA DO YOU HEAR ME?<br />
91
Gunn<br />
"Come on now, that's it ... seven, O.K. now . . . n<strong>in</strong>e ... ten<br />
Honey, it's O.K. now . . . it's all over." The Woman th<strong>in</strong>ks, I'm<br />
all over.<br />
The mach<strong>in</strong>e stops. The Woman is undamped. Rocked<br />
from side-to-side like a row boat <strong>in</strong> a wake, someth<strong>in</strong>g is slipped<br />
between her legs, a diaper, she th<strong>in</strong>ks. The Woman is sat forward,<br />
for an <strong>in</strong>stant held, then half-carried to a room where<br />
there are couches where some are ly<strong>in</strong>g and some are sitt<strong>in</strong>g<br />
There are blue blankets and there are p<strong>in</strong>k ones. The Woman<br />
lies down and covers herself with a p<strong>in</strong>k blanket. Sunlight is<br />
yellow through slightly parted curta<strong>in</strong>s. The Woman asks herself,<br />
Why is there no music box music? No music box str<strong>in</strong>g to<br />
pull and hear?<br />
"Shall I tell the Man that you are through?" an assistant<br />
asks.<br />
Am I through? the Woman asks herself.<br />
While <strong>in</strong> her kitchen cutt<strong>in</strong>g sausage to fry, on the morn<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>of</strong> his part<strong>in</strong>g, the Woman asks the Man, "Are you <strong>in</strong> love with<br />
your wife?"<br />
"No," the Man says.<br />
"Are you <strong>in</strong> love with me?" the Woman asks.<br />
"Yes. Yes I am. I should stay with you. But I'm not go<strong>in</strong>g to,<br />
damn it!" he says putt<strong>in</strong>g his fist through the kitchen wall <strong>in</strong>to<br />
the bathroom. This says someth<strong>in</strong>g about the Woman's house,<br />
their passion, as well as what the Woman will be do<strong>in</strong>g after she<br />
f<strong>in</strong>ishes the sixty dishes.<br />
The Man is gone. The Woman has never let him come to<br />
her house before. Where she lived gladly alone before now rem<strong>in</strong>ds<br />
the Woman <strong>of</strong> the Man. They had, for five years, met<br />
once a month <strong>in</strong> places between where they lived. Out <strong>of</strong> the<br />
way places that no one has heard <strong>of</strong>, <strong>in</strong> the hope that no one<br />
would hear. Like Scrimshaw, New Jersey and What Cheer, Massachusetts.<br />
Now that the Man is gone it is somewhat <strong>of</strong> a relief<br />
to say out loud these words they had kept secret, or sacred, as<br />
she preferred to th<strong>in</strong>k. Excuse her while the Woman throws<br />
92<br />
The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />
en her hallway w<strong>in</strong>dow and yells, "What Cheer, Massachuts!"<br />
OU(- <strong>in</strong>to the slippery morn<strong>in</strong>g air. Maybe that will wake<br />
the guy next door who plays "Mack The Knife" on his electric<br />
organ all night, the Woman hopes. It is early. Six-thirty, she<br />
th<strong>in</strong>ks the clock at the end <strong>of</strong> the hall says. The woman has tears<br />
• her eyes and cannot see properly. "Jesus I loved him," the<br />
Woman says. He stayed for three days. The Woman had tears <strong>in</strong><br />
her eyes most <strong>of</strong> the time. She wore a towel over her face. One<br />
night they couldn't go out to d<strong>in</strong>ner. With a towel like that, who<br />
would? The Man held it as if he was scared that if he let go, her<br />
face would slide down <strong>of</strong>f her jaw and leave her skull show<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
The Man had nightmares like that. They prodded him to nuzzle<br />
the Woman <strong>in</strong> her sleep. With her towel-face neither <strong>of</strong> them<br />
could go anywhere. The Woman is not a good cook. Her shopp<strong>in</strong>g<br />
is worse. Unbleached flour and utensils are the only edibles<br />
<strong>in</strong> her kitchen. All else the shelves hold are Ajax, W<strong>in</strong>dex, and<br />
Dra<strong>in</strong>o <strong>in</strong> unbreakable cans and bottles.<br />
The Woman closes the w<strong>in</strong>dow, walks down the hall and<br />
looks <strong>in</strong>to the kitchen. She spies the Dra<strong>in</strong>o. Why not dr<strong>in</strong>k it<br />
for lunch, the Woman suggests to herself, though it is early for<br />
lunch. She sees a piece <strong>of</strong> bathroom through the hole <strong>in</strong> the wall<br />
the Man made with his fist. She looks away. In the hall she<br />
remembers their dance. Hank Williams was on the player. Walk<strong>in</strong>g<br />
the hall to the d<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g room with two forks <strong>in</strong> her hand, the<br />
Woman sensed the Man beh<strong>in</strong>d her, felt the Man's arm come<br />
around her waist. The Man turned the Woman to him. He held<br />
her tightly. She dropped the forks. He leaned back, lift<strong>in</strong>g her<br />
<strong>of</strong>f her feet. She, balanced on his gro<strong>in</strong>, laughed and asked, "Is<br />
this how you danced when you were fifteen?" "I danced any<br />
damn way I pleased," the Man replied, "Like this! And this . . ."<br />
and he illustrated six or seven ways <strong>of</strong> cl<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g and claw<strong>in</strong>g and<br />
hang<strong>in</strong>g, and shift<strong>in</strong>g feet, and his hands were all over her, and<br />
the Woman and the Man had to lie down right there <strong>in</strong> the sunfilled<br />
hallway and hump on the foot-smoothed, warmed, and<br />
wooden floor.<br />
The needle at the record's end went thubub thubub thubub,<br />
and their hearts together, and their stripped cloth<strong>in</strong>g fly-<br />
93
Gunn<br />
<strong>in</strong>g, balloon<strong>in</strong>g about as they swooned and gently thrashed and<br />
thrashed with a rude violence. She took him back to Kansas <strong>in</strong> I<br />
fifty-n<strong>in</strong>e, and he, he took her away <strong>in</strong>to a void, a timeless and<br />
dark place. They had been so ruthless — the vacuum cleaner<br />
the shots, three o'clock, six o'clock, n<strong>in</strong>e o'clock, twelve o'clock<br />
he took her away from all <strong>of</strong> that, far away, away the Woman<br />
went.<br />
The Man stayed <strong>in</strong> a Boston hotel with the Woman for two I<br />
days. Dur<strong>in</strong>g this time the Woman tried to recover herself. The ?<br />
Man sweetly brought her rations <strong>of</strong> thick soups and french I<br />
breads. He stroked her head, he brushed her hair, he soaped her $<br />
<strong>in</strong> the shower and after, towelled her. She felt clots the size <strong>of</strong> I<br />
golf balls slip out <strong>of</strong> her. "Aah!" The Woman would say <strong>in</strong> ter- I<br />
ror, "Carmella's knee caps!" or "Aah! The last <strong>of</strong> Carmella's I<br />
evolutionary tail!" In the morn<strong>in</strong>g a red run-over dog lay on<br />
their white sheets. The Woman believed her womb to be a<br />
deathly place. The truth was, simply, that the Woman would<br />
have cheerfully died. The dead don't care about the liv<strong>in</strong>g. The<br />
woman knew that. And what <strong>of</strong> the unborn, she asked herself.<br />
No, they don't care, either. "Carmella," the Woman started <strong>in</strong><br />
sudden recognition, "Carmella doesn't give a fuck. Never did."<br />
What if the Woman is pregnant for eight weeks. She is<br />
go<strong>in</strong>g to one <strong>of</strong> those rug cleaners to be vacuumed. Two months<br />
is time enough for a fetus to have ears, eyes, nose, arms and<br />
legs, knees and elbows, f<strong>in</strong>gers and toes. The Woman s<strong>in</strong>gs to<br />
herself <strong>in</strong> her house <strong>in</strong> Vermont, "Knees and elbows, f<strong>in</strong>gers<br />
and toes, eyes and nose." The Woman reads <strong>in</strong> a book that the<br />
fetus, at this time, has the face, unmistakably, <strong>of</strong> a human's. She<br />
shuts the book. Her breasts have begun to overflow her bras.<br />
There is a pull<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> her lower abdomen, the gentle tugg<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong><br />
the tadpole rearrang<strong>in</strong>g itself, settl<strong>in</strong>g, multiply<strong>in</strong>g at the rate<br />
evolution has perfected. It is as real to her as a child who already<br />
walks and talks. She knows its face. She calls it Carmella.<br />
94<br />
The Woman, the Man, and Carmella<br />
The Woman and the Man are sitt<strong>in</strong>g closely on the couch.<br />
. waji paper. The Woman is called. She looks. The Man's<br />
6 5 "I will be here," he says. Kisses her. Wet egg whites.<br />
The Woman lies on the table, naked feet on cold metal<br />
. rups. The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner enters. Clamps her open. Shoots<br />
, three o'clock, six o'clock, n<strong>in</strong>e o'clock, twelve o'clock.<br />
"Can I hold your hand?" the Woman asks the assistant.<br />
"Sure, honey." Fleshier, older, warmer.<br />
The mach<strong>in</strong>e runner holds tub<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> his hand.<br />
"Stop!" screams the Woman. Hooked <strong>in</strong>to metal, she leans<br />
forward. With creases around his eyes, the runner looks at the<br />
assistant. The assistant asks, "What?"<br />
"Unhook me!" The runner and the assistant are wax figures<br />
<strong>in</strong> a science museum. "Please let me go," the Woman says slowly<br />
"Let us go." The runner, cross at lost time, drops <strong>in</strong>struments,<br />
leaves.<br />
"This is very unusual," the assistant allows herself to say.<br />
The woman is pregnant. It has been eight months. She<br />
adores it. She calls it Carmella. Carmella kicks when the Woman<br />
s<strong>in</strong>gs, "F<strong>in</strong>gers and nose, eyes and knees, elbows and toes . . ."<br />
The Man has written the Woman from his foreign village<br />
many times. Many times he has written: "All my love." "All his<br />
love!" The Woman says, "HA!" In his last letter the Man said<br />
that he will come for a visit <strong>in</strong> eight weeks.<br />
What if when he comes there are two <strong>of</strong> us, the Woman<br />
th<strong>in</strong>ks.<br />
The Woman will leave Carmella with that electric organ<br />
player next door. She will fix the Man a meal soaked <strong>in</strong> Dra<strong>in</strong>o<br />
all spiced up. As he chews, as he swallows, as the meal beg<strong>in</strong>s to<br />
take hold <strong>of</strong> the Man, the Woman will run next door to collect<br />
Carmella. Together they will watch the life <strong>of</strong> the Man abandon<br />
his body. They will feel warmth. Carmella will know that her<br />
father is all hers. She will know that one life is <strong>of</strong> great worth,<br />
certa<strong>in</strong>ly worth that <strong>of</strong> another's.<br />
95
Contributors<br />
JOSEPH BRODSKY's new book <strong>of</strong> poetry, A Part <strong>of</strong> Speech, and a<br />
new book <strong>of</strong> essays, Less Than One, will be published this spr<strong>in</strong>g<br />
by Farrar, Straus & Giroux.<br />
FRED BUSCH's newest book, Rounds, was recently published by<br />
Farrar, Straus & Giroux. Hardwater Country, a book <strong>of</strong> short<br />
stories, was published last year by Alfred A. Knopf.<br />
NICHOLAS DELBANCO is the author <strong>of</strong> several novels. "Maggie<br />
Alone" is an excerpt from Stillness (William Morrow & Co.,<br />
1980), which <strong>in</strong>cludes a trilogy beg<strong>in</strong>n<strong>in</strong>g with Possession (1977)<br />
and Sherbrookes (1978).<br />
JOHN ENGELS has published three books <strong>of</strong> poetry: The Homer<br />
Mitchell Place, Signals from the Safety C<strong>of</strong>f<strong>in</strong>, and Blood Mounta<strong>in</strong>.<br />
EMERY GEORGE teaches at the University <strong>of</strong> Michigan at Ann<br />
Arbor. His second volume <strong>of</strong> Mikl6s Radnoti translations will<br />
appear later this spr<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
STEPHANIE GUNN once tra<strong>in</strong>ed for the Olympics <strong>in</strong> the high<br />
jump. She now lives and works <strong>in</strong> New York.<br />
WILLIAM HATHAWAY teaches at LSU and has two books <strong>in</strong><br />
pr<strong>in</strong>t from Ithaca House. A third book will be published by the<br />
LSU Press <strong>in</strong> 1981.<br />
ANTHONY HECHT's latest book <strong>of</strong> poems is Venetian Vespers<br />
(Atheneum 1979).<br />
EDMUND KEELEY has just f<strong>in</strong>ished a novel and is work<strong>in</strong>g on<br />
a third and f<strong>in</strong>al edition <strong>of</strong> George Seferis: Collected Poems <strong>in</strong> collaboration.<br />
P. B. NEWMAN teaches at Queens College <strong>in</strong> Charlotte, North<br />
Carol<strong>in</strong>a. His most recent book, The House <strong>of</strong> Saco, won the North<br />
Carol<strong>in</strong>a Poetry Society Award for 1978.<br />
MIKLOS RADNOTI was born <strong>in</strong> Budapest <strong>in</strong> 1909. In November<br />
1944 he was executed <strong>in</strong> a concentration camp. Dur<strong>in</strong>g his life he<br />
published several books <strong>of</strong> translation (<strong>in</strong>clud<strong>in</strong>g the first collec-<br />
. n <strong>of</strong> Apoll<strong>in</strong>aire's poems <strong>in</strong> Hungarian) and six books <strong>of</strong> his<br />
n poetry. The poems published here belong to a new volume<br />
<strong>of</strong> translations by Emery George to be released this spr<strong>in</strong>g.<br />
GEORGE SEFERIS won the Nobel Prize <strong>in</strong> 1964. This poem is<br />
ne <strong>of</strong> a three-poem series which comprised his last book.<br />
PHILIP SHERRARD is the co-translator, with Edmund Keeley,<br />
<strong>of</strong> Angelos Sikelianos: Selected Poems (Pr<strong>in</strong>ceton 1979).<br />
ELIZABETH WEBER is a former w<strong>in</strong>ner <strong>of</strong> the Academy <strong>of</strong><br />
American Poets Prize given by the University <strong>of</strong> Montana at<br />
Missoula. She lives <strong>in</strong> Missoula.<br />
DAVID WOJAHN teaches <strong>in</strong> the Arizona Poets <strong>in</strong> the Schools<br />
program. He is complet<strong>in</strong>g his MFA at the University <strong>of</strong> Arizona<br />
at Tucson.<br />
96 97