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THE RUFFIAN ON THE STAIR - Christian Morris

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<strong>THE</strong> <strong>RUFFIAN</strong> <strong>ON</strong><br />

<strong>THE</strong> <strong>STAIR</strong><br />

an opera in one act<br />

Words by<br />

Joe<br />

Orton<br />

Music by<br />

<strong>Christian</strong><br />

<strong>Morris</strong>


For Joe and Ken,<br />

but especially for Joe,<br />

with thanks for all the pleasure your works have<br />

given me and for having the courage to be yourself.<br />

iii


Contents<br />

<strong>THE</strong> <strong>RUFFIAN</strong> <strong>ON</strong> <strong>THE</strong> <strong>STAIR</strong><br />

Orchestration and Performance Notes …………………………………..……... vii<br />

Synopsis …………………………………………………………………………. ix<br />

Libretto ………………………………………………………………….……… xi<br />

Prelude …………………………………………………………………..……… 1<br />

Scene One ………………………………………………………………..……... 10<br />

Interlude One …………………………………………………………..………. 26<br />

Scene Two ……………………………………………………………..……….. 29<br />

Interlude Two …………………………………………………………..………. 59<br />

Scene Three ……………………………………………………………..……… 63<br />

Interlude Three …………………………………………………………..…….. 79<br />

Scene Four ………………………………………………………………..…….. 84<br />

Interlude Four ……………………………………………………………..……. 104<br />

Scene Five ………………………………………………………………..……... 106<br />

Interlude Five ..……………………………………………………….…………. 173<br />

Scene Six ..………………………………………………………………………. 177<br />

v


Orchestration<br />

Flute (doubling alto flute)<br />

Oboe (doubling cor anglais)<br />

Clarinet in Bb(doubling bass clarinet)<br />

Bassoon (doubling contrabassoon)<br />

Horn in F<br />

<strong>THE</strong> <strong>RUFFIAN</strong> <strong>ON</strong> <strong>THE</strong> <strong>STAIR</strong><br />

Timpani<br />

Drum Kit spash (SC)/crash (CC)/chinese (ChC)/ride (RC) cymbals, 3 mounted tom toms (TT),<br />

2 floor toms (FlT), hi-hat (HH), snare drum (SD), bass drum (BD)<br />

Acoustic Guitar<br />

Piano<br />

JOYCE, soprano<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>, tenor<br />

MIKE, bass<br />

Strings<br />

Performance Notes<br />

1. With the exception of the double bass (which should be one on the part) the<br />

strings may be one or two per part. If two players are used double stops may<br />

be played divisi as appropriate.<br />

2. The guitar may be discreetly amplified.<br />

3. All trills are of a semitone unless otherwise stated.<br />

4. Drum notation is as follows:<br />

5. The score is transposed.<br />

6. Drum Kit notation:<br />

Duration: c. 80 minutes<br />

vii


viii


SYNOPSIS<br />

The action takes place in a kitchen/living-room with bedroom alcove.<br />

Scene one<br />

Breakfast time.<br />

Mike, the partner of Joyce, is about to go out to a job, saying he has to meet a man in<br />

a toilet. He tells her he can’t take the van because it is under repair. Joyce reminds<br />

Mike that is their anniversary, reflecting upon how he persuaded her to give up her<br />

old life. Mike asks her if, since meeting him, she has been with any other man. She<br />

replies ‘no’. He says he’ll kill anyone that does. Joyce points out a story in the paper:<br />

that a man called Frank was killed in an accident involving a van. Mike leaves.<br />

Scene Two<br />

A little later. Joyce is by herself in the house.<br />

The doorbell rings. Wilson, a young, attractive man, is at the door. He asks if there is<br />

a room available and if he can come in. Joyce says there is no room but eventually<br />

agrees to let him in. Wilson seems to know a lot about Joyce, explaining that it is<br />

because he picks up information in his job as a gent’s hairdresser, an occupation that<br />

was also held by his brother Frank before his death. He explains that a van knocked<br />

him down, believing it to be murder. Not liking his tone of voice, Joyce threatens to<br />

call her husband. Wilson says that she isn’t married. He threatens her with violence<br />

before asking where Mike keeps his gun. Eventually Joyce is forced to reveal its<br />

position. Wilson inspects it but then puts it back in the drawer before leaving.<br />

Scene Three<br />

Evening, the remains of a meal are on the table.<br />

Mike explains that he met the man in the toilet and delivered his message. Joyce is<br />

preoccupied and tells him how she feels lonely and defenceless in the house on her<br />

own. Mike brushes aside her worries, quoting the example of a Roman Catholic<br />

neighbour who coped by herself. He suggests she finds a priest to talk to. As she<br />

continues to communicate her distress, Mike’s dismissals become more hurtful.<br />

Eventually Joyce tells him about Wilson, but he ignores her.<br />

Scene Four<br />

Morning. Joyce is by herself.<br />

As she cleans the house Joyce reflects upon her lonely life. The doorbell rings. She is<br />

too afraid to answer it, instead speculating on who it might be. A brick is thrown<br />

through the window. Joyce believes it to be Wilson trying to break in and attack her.<br />

She runs into the passage to the front door to cry for help but the lock breaks when<br />

she returns. She sits on a chair in front of the door, which is then flung aside as the<br />

ix


x<br />

door is kicked in. Terrified, Joyce begs the intruder, who remains unseen, to leave her<br />

alone.<br />

Scene Five<br />

Later. Mike is sitting at a table. Joyce enters in outdoor clothes.<br />

Mike asks where Joyce has been. She says she went out because Wilson had returned<br />

to threaten her. Since she didn’t see Wilson, Mike refuses to believe her. She asks him<br />

to mend the lock on the door, which he promises to do after he has been out to discuss<br />

another potential job involving his van. The doorbell rings. Wilson enters, asking for a<br />

room. Joyce tells Mike that he is the person who had threatened her, but Mike seems<br />

more interested in inviting him in. Ignoring Joyce, Mike engages Wilson in<br />

conversation. Wilson appears to go out of his way to engage Mike’s interest; especially<br />

emphasizing how, like Mike, he has Irish roots. Mike agrees that Wilson can stay.<br />

Wilson tells Mike about his brother, hinting that their relationship was more than<br />

merely fraternal. The atmosphere gradually changes as Wilson tells Mike that he<br />

believes he was murdered, eventually accusing Mike of running him over in his van.<br />

Mike denies any knowledge of this but is terrified, asking what Wilson plans to do.<br />

Wilson explains that he is so devastated that he would rather be dead, suggesting that<br />

Mike kill him with his gun. To provoke Mike, Wilson suggests that he knows about<br />

Joyce’s past as a prostitute and that he had relations with her. Mike threatens Wilson<br />

with the gun, telling him to leave. Wilson exits. Mike reflects by himself on the<br />

treacherousness of the female sex and of Joyce in particular, before admitting to<br />

himself that, despite wanting to kill her, life would be too difficult without her. Joyce<br />

returns. Mike accuses her of being a whore and of sleeping with Wilson. They fight,<br />

nearly upsetting her goldfish bowl. She says that she Wilson has never touched her.<br />

Scene Six<br />

Next morning. Joyce is alone washing the dishes.<br />

The doorbell rings. Wilson enters. Joyce threatens him with Mike, who is downstairs.<br />

Wilson says he has just seen him and told him that he is having an affair with Joyce.<br />

She feigns disgust at his coarse tone but Wilson says that, given that she used to be a<br />

prostitute, she should be used to it. He explains he knows about her because his<br />

brother had paid her for sex. Wilson admires the goldfish bowl before starting to<br />

undress, explaining to Joyce that he wants it to look like he and she are ‘on the job’<br />

when Mike comes up. Wilson explains the pain of losing his brother to Joyce and<br />

eventually she consoles him with a kiss. At this moment Mike crashes into the room<br />

and, seeing the two together, he shoots, first hitting the goldfish bowl, then Wilson.<br />

Wilson dies. Joyce and Wilson cover the body. Joyce notices that her goldfish are dead<br />

and is devastated. Mike asks tells her to sit down whilst he calls the police.


COMPLETE LIBRETTO<br />

PRELUDE<br />

SCENE <strong>ON</strong>E<br />

A kitchen/living-room with a bedroom alcove. MIKE is standing by the sink. JOYCE enters from the<br />

bedroom carrying a tray with cups, saucers, egg cup, etc. She puts the tray on to the table.<br />

JOYCE. Have you got an appointment today?<br />

MIKE. Yes. I'm to be at King's Cross station at eleven. I'm meeting a man in the toilet.<br />

MIKE puts away his shaving materials.<br />

JOYCE. You always go to such interesting places. Are you taking the van?<br />

MIKE puts on a made-up bow tie.<br />

MIKE. No. It's still under repair.<br />

JOYCE takes the tray to the sink and puts the dishes into a bowl. She pours water on them and puts on a pair<br />

of rubber gloves. She begins to wash the dishes, MIKE puts on his coat.<br />

JOYCE. You lead a more interesting life than I do.<br />

MIKE. Hard, though.<br />

JOYCE. Still, you've kept your looks.<br />

MIKE. Yes. I'm a powerfully attractive figure. I can still cause a flutter in feminine hearts.<br />

MIKE puts a flower into his buttonhole, and brushes his coat down.<br />

JOYCE. Have you seen the date?<br />

MIKE. No.<br />

JOYCE. It's our anniversary.<br />

MIKE. How time flies.<br />

JOYCE. Two years ago you persuaded me to give up the life I'd been leading.<br />

MIKE. You're better off.<br />

JOYCE. Nobody calls me Maddy now.<br />

MIKE. What?<br />

JOYCE. I used that name for five years. Before that I was Sarah up North somewhere.<br />

MIKE. Have you ever, since I met you, allowed another man to be intimate with you?<br />

xi


xii<br />

JOYCE. No!<br />

MIKE. Good. I'd kill any man who messed with you. Oh, yes. I'd murder him.<br />

JOYCE (taking off her rubber gloves). The papers were on form this morning.<br />

MIKE. Were they?<br />

JOYCE. In the local paper, I saw there'd been an accident involving a tattooed man. He had<br />

a heart, a clenched fist and a rose all on one arm. And the name 'Ronny' was on his body in<br />

two different places.<br />

MIKE. Was that his name?<br />

JOYCE. No. His name was Frank. A van ran him down.<br />

MIKE. I'm going now.<br />

JOYCE. Are your boots clean?<br />

MIKE. Yes.<br />

JOYCE. Keep them clean. You may meet important people. You never know.<br />

MIKE. Cheerio.<br />

JOYCE. Give me a kiss. (MIKE kisses JOYCE on her cheek.) Do I have to remind you now?<br />

MIKE. See you tonight.<br />

INTERLUDE <strong>ON</strong>E<br />

MIKE exits. JOYCE occupies herself with household jobs. She goes into the bedroom, straightens the bed. She<br />

pushes MIKE'S pyjamas under the pillow etc. The doorbell rings. JOYCE answers it. WILS<strong>ON</strong> is<br />

standing outside.<br />

SCENE TWO<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> (smiling). I've come about the room.<br />

JOYCE. I'm afraid there's been a mistake.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Is that the room? What rent are you asking?<br />

JOYCE. I'm not asking any.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I don't want charity.<br />

JOYCE. You must've come to the wrong door. I'm sorry you've been troubled.<br />

JOYCE tries to close the door, but WILS<strong>ON</strong> blocks it with his foot.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Can I come in? (He smiles.)


JOYCE. Just for a minute.<br />

JOYCE lets him in and closes the door. WILS<strong>ON</strong> sits down.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. How about a cup of tea? You usually make one about now.<br />

JOYCE is pulled up sharp.<br />

JOYCE. How do you know?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Oh, I pick up all sorts of useful information in my job.<br />

JOYCE. What's that?<br />

JOYCE makes the tea.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I'm a Gents hairdresser. Qualified. My dad has a business. Just a couple of chairs.<br />

I've clipped some notable heads in my time. Mostly professional men. Though we had an<br />

amateur street musician in a few weeks ago. We gave him satisfaction, I believe. My brother<br />

was in the business too. Until he was involved in an accident.<br />

JOYCE. What happened?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. A van knocked him down.<br />

JOYCE. Was he tattooed?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You've heard of him?<br />

JOYCE. I've heard of his tattoos.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. They were unique. He had them done by a well-known artist. His funeral was<br />

attended by some interesting people.<br />

JOYCE looks away in a brief spasm of embarrassment which quickly passes.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I wasn't mentioned in the press. They didn’t realise the important part I played in<br />

Frank's life. So I didn't get the coverage. My brother's fiancée had her photo taken. Bawling<br />

her head off. She insisted we bury the engagement ring with him. It was just an idle, theatrical<br />

gesture. It's too much trouble now to put a bunch of flowers on the grave.<br />

JOYCE. Perhaps the accident unhinged her mind.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. It wasn't an accident. He was murdered.<br />

JOYCE. You don't know that.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Don't contradict me!<br />

JOYCE (angry). This is a private house. What do you mean by raising your voice? Drink that<br />

tea and clear off. My husband will be back soon.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. He's not your husband.<br />

xiii


xiv<br />

JOYCE (furious). How dare you. You've gone too far.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You're not married.<br />

JOYCE. I've a good mind to call a policeman.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You aren't on the phone.<br />

JOYCE. I can knock on the floor.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. There's nobody downstairs.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> stands to his feet.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Come here.<br />

JOYCE (alarmed). Keep away!<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Do you know I could murder you. Easy as that. (He snaps his fingers.) That's how<br />

these assaults on lonely women are all committed.<br />

JOYCE (with a note of hysteria). Don't come any nearer.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Is your husband passionate with you?<br />

JOYCE. I'm reporting you. Using filthy language.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. If I were to assault you would he avenge it?<br />

JOYCE. Yes.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Where does he keep his gun?<br />

JOYCE. He hasn't got a gun.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> takes a step towards JOYCE. She backs away.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Where is it?<br />

JOYCE. In the drawer. Over there.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> goes to the drawer. He puts down his cup, opens the drawer and takes out a revolver. He checks<br />

that it is loaded, puts it back into the drawer and closes the drawer. Then he walks back to the table with the<br />

cup in his hand and drinks the last of his tea, placing the cup back on to the saucer.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> (smiling). Thanks for the tea.<br />

JOYCE (puzzled). Are you going?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. The room's not available, is it? Have you got a couple of bob to spare? I can't walk<br />

all the way back.<br />

JOYCE opens her handbag.


JOYCE (giving him money). Here's ha1f-a-crown. Don't let me see you round here again.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> goes off. JOYCE takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and swallows several.<br />

INTERLUDE TWO<br />

SCENE THREE<br />

Later.<br />

The remains of an evening meal are on the table. MIKE is smoking a small cigar. JOYCE is reading a book.<br />

She has a pair of glasses on.<br />

MIKE. I went to the King's Cross toilet like I told you. I met my contact. I gave him the<br />

message from the - er - The message was delivered. Are you listening, Joycie?<br />

JOYCE (taking off her glasses, and putting her book down). Yes. I've had a busy day.<br />

MIKE. Are you tired?<br />

JOYCE. A bit.<br />

MIKE. Have a busy day, did you?<br />

JOYCE (sharply). Yes. Why don't you listen?<br />

MIKE. You never say anything interesting.<br />

JOYCE. I might as well be dead. What if you came home and I was dead? What if I were<br />

done in?<br />

MIKE. Who'd do you in?<br />

JOYCE. Somebody might. You read of attacks every day on lonely defenceless women.<br />

MIKE. You could call for help.<br />

JOYCE. Who to?<br />

MIKE. Mary. To Mary.<br />

JOYCE. Mary's not in. She's working again. I'm alone in the house.<br />

MIKE. You could break a window. That would attract attention.<br />

JOYCE. Don't go out tomorrow.<br />

MIKE. I can't mope around here. It gets on my tits.<br />

JOYCE closes her book, marking the place. MIKE begins to clear the supper things away and puts them into<br />

the sink.<br />

MIKE. Mary used to be on her own. She was all right.<br />

JOYCE. Mary can cope.<br />

xv


xvi<br />

MIKE. And why's that? Because she's a Catholic. She carries her faith into her private life.<br />

That's what we're taught to do. We don't always succeed. But we try.<br />

MIKE takes off his coat.<br />

Why don't you have a chat with Mary? She'd put you right.<br />

Give you the address of a priest with an enquiring mind. He'd stop your maundering.<br />

MIKE takes off his shoes.<br />

JOYCE. I'd still be alone.<br />

MIKE. You'd have the Sacrament inside you. That would be something. Anyway who would<br />

assault you? Who? He'd have to be out of his mind. Look at your face. When did it last see<br />

water?<br />

JOYCE. I've been crying.<br />

MIKE. Crying? Are you pregnant?<br />

JOYCE. No. I'm worried.<br />

MIKE. No one would be interested in assaulting you. It's pride to think they would. The idea<br />

is farcical.<br />

MIKE takes off his bow tie, goes into the bedroom, turns back the sheets and picks up his pyjamas.<br />

JOYCE comes to the bedroom entrance.<br />

JOYCE. Mike . . . A kid came here today.<br />

MIKE takes off his waistcoat.<br />

MIKE. One of the Teds?<br />

JOYCE. No. He tried to molest me.<br />

MIKE. These kids see you coming. Why didn't you call for Mary?<br />

JOYCE. She's not in! She's not in! Do I talk for the sake of it? Mike…If he pays another visit -<br />

what shall I do? Give me a word of advice?<br />

MIKE unbuttons his shirt.<br />

MIKE. Bring me my overcoat? It's raw tonight. We'll need extra on the bed.<br />

INTERLUDE THREE<br />

SCENE FOUR<br />

Morning.<br />

JOYCE pauses in cleaning the room.<br />

JOYCE. I can't go to the park. I can't sit on cold stone. I might get piles from the lowered<br />

temperature. I wouldn't want them on top of everything else.


She puts down the duster, apathetically.<br />

I'd try, maybe, a prayer. But the Virgin would turn a deaf ear to a Protestant. I can't be as<br />

alone as all that. Nobody ought to be. It's heartbreaking. The number of humiliating<br />

admissions I've made. You'd think it would draw me closer to somebody. But it doesn't.<br />

Three short rings are given on the doorbell.<br />

Who’s there?<br />

No answer.<br />

What do you want? (Making up her mind.) I'll answer the door to no one. They can hammer it<br />

down. Is it the milk? (Calling.) Are you deaf? No, it wouldn't be him. He only rings for his<br />

money. Nobody comes of a Wednesday.<br />

(She bends down and peeps through the letterbox.) If it’s my money you're after, there's not a thing in<br />

my purse. Are you from the Assistance? They come any time. I've had them on Monday.<br />

They come whenever they choose. It's their right. (With a smile and growing confidence.)<br />

You're the Assistance, aren't you? Are you or aren't you?<br />

xvii<br />

Glass is heard breaking from the bedroom. She runs to the entrance of the bedroom and leaps back, startled; a<br />

piece of brick has been thrown through the window. JOYCE stares, her mouth trembling. Another piece of brick<br />

hurtles through the window, smashing another pane.<br />

JOYCE (Screaming). It's him! He's breaking in. God Almighty, what shall I do? He'll murder<br />

me!<br />

She stamps on the floor.<br />

Mary! Mary!<br />

She runs to the door, opens it and runs out into the passage.<br />

Mrs O'Connor! Mrs O’Connor!<br />

She runs back into the room; slams the door shut. The lock drops with a crash on to the floor. She picks it up<br />

and stares at it.<br />

It's come off! It's broke!<br />

She tries to fit the lock back on to the door.<br />

I've told him so often. I've - told him to - mend it!<br />

She gives up, breathless. Then she tries to pull the settee out into the room, but gives up and picks up a chair,<br />

which she pushes against the door and sits on.<br />

He'll easily fling this aside. Oh, Michael, I'm to be murdered because you're too bone idle to<br />

fix a lock.<br />

There is a prolonged ringing on the doorbell.<br />

Let me alone! I'm going to report you. I've seen them at the station. They've set a trap. I'm


xviii<br />

safe in here. We have an extremely strong and reliable Chubb lock on the door. So you're<br />

trapped. Ha, ha!<br />

The front door is kicked. The chair pushes away and JOYCE is flung aside. She backs into the bedroom.<br />

If it's the gun you want, I don't know where he's put it. He's taken it. I may be able to find it.<br />

Is that what you want?<br />

Outside the door a burst of music is heard from a transistor radio. There is knocking. The bell rings. A sudden<br />

silence. Laughter. Silence. A splintering of wood.<br />

JOYCE (shrilly.) I've told my hubby. He's seeing someone. You'll laugh on the other side of<br />

your face.<br />

Suddenly, giving up all pretence, she bursts into tears.<br />

Go away. There's a good boy. I don't know what you want. Please go away. Please, please,<br />

please…(She sobs.)<br />

INTERLUDE FOUR<br />

SCENE FIVE<br />

Later.<br />

MIKE sits at the table reading a newspaper. JOYCE enters in outdoor clothes.<br />

MIKE. Where've you been? (Refolds up the paper.)<br />

JOYCE takes off her hat and coat.<br />

JOYCE. I didn't come back till I saw the light in the window. That kid came again. He broke<br />

two windows.<br />

MIKE. Did you witness him?<br />

JOYCE. I was in here.<br />

MIKE. Then how do you know it was him from yesterday? Why didn't you go outside and<br />

see?<br />

JOYCE. He'd've killed me.<br />

MIKE. You've no evidence to support your theory.<br />

JOYCE. But…I'd be dead if I'd got evidence.<br />

MIKE. I'd prosecute him on your behalf, Joycie.<br />

JOYCE blows her nose.<br />

MIKE goes into the bedroom and picks up his coat from the end of the bed.<br />

JOYCE (wearily). Will you mend the lock for me?


MIKE. I'll see to it when I get back. I may be employed to do another job in the van. We're<br />

fixing the details.<br />

The doorbell is rung violently. MIKE puts the silver paper from the flower into the waste bin.<br />

MIKE (going into the bedroom). Answer it then. I'm here with you.<br />

The bell is rung again. MIKE takes the packet of cigarettes from the drawer and fills his cigarette case.<br />

JOYCE opens the door. WILS<strong>ON</strong> is outside.<br />

JOYCE. You! I'm putting a stop to this. (Calling) Michael!<br />

MIKE enters from the bedroom. He slips his cigarette case into his pocket.<br />

JOYCE. Come here. (To WILS<strong>ON</strong>.) Stay where you are! Stay here!<br />

JOYCE attempts to grab his arm. He tries to shake her off. She hangs on. He shrugs her away, violently. She<br />

comes back. They struggle. MIKE goes to the mirror and runs a comb through his hair.<br />

JOYCE (excited). Mike! (Turning, excited.) For God's sake where are you?<br />

MIKE puts the comb away and strolls to the door.<br />

MIKE (coolly). What's the matter?<br />

JOYCE. This is him. The one that's been coming here.<br />

MIKE (to WILS<strong>ON</strong>). What's this, I hear? Have you been annoying my wife?<br />

JOYCE. Yes. He has.<br />

MIKE (to JOYCE). Let's hear his version of it. (To WILS<strong>ON</strong>.)<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I wanted a room.<br />

MIKE. We haven't got a room.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You're Irish! My mother was Irish. (Smiles.) My feet are killing me. Could I have a<br />

drink of water?<br />

MIKE. Certainly. Come on in.<br />

JOYCE. You're not letting him in?<br />

MIKE. Get the lad a glass of water.<br />

JOYCE goes to the sink and fills a glass with water. JOYCE hands WILS<strong>ON</strong> the glass of water.<br />

JOYCE. Ask him about his conduct.<br />

MIKE (to WILS<strong>ON</strong>). About these things she tells me. Did you cheek her yesterday?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. My behaviour was exemplary.<br />

xix


xx<br />

MIKE. Did you molest her?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> (to JOYCE). What've you been telling him?<br />

MIKE. Why did you bring a suitcase with you?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I wanted a room.<br />

MIKE (to WILS<strong>ON</strong>). Bring it in. You don't want to leave it out there.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> exits.<br />

JOYCE. What are you playing at?<br />

MIKE. Quiet!<br />

JOYCE. What's his background? He could be anything.<br />

MIKE. Shut up! You're heading for a belt around the ear.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> enters with a suitcase.<br />

JOYCE (angry). I'm going downstairs!<br />

JOYCE goes off into the hall, slamming the door behind her.<br />

MIKE. She's taken offence.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I'll go.<br />

MIKE. You stay.<br />

MIKE. She'll come round. It's the life she led before I took up with her. She has no religious<br />

feelings. That's the worst of it. She never had the benefit of the upbringing.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. My mum was brought up by nuns.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I'm not keeping you, am I?<br />

MIKE. No. (Looks at his watch.) As a matter of fact you've kept me. I've missed my<br />

appointment. I shall have to drop them a line and apologise for my absence.<br />

MIKE takes off his coat, puts the flower from his buttonhole into a glass, and puts water into the glass.<br />

MIKE (Putting the glass on to the draining board). If you're desperate for a room we could put you<br />

up. On the bed-settee. I bought it a long time ago. I couldn't afford such luxury today.<br />

Financially I'm in a bad way.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Yes. My brother and me had the same trouble. We lived in Shepherd's Bush. We<br />

had a little room. We had a lot of friends. All creeds and colours. But no circumstances at all.<br />

We were happy, though. We were young. I was seventeen. He was twenty-three. We were<br />

bosom friends. I hope I haven't shocked you. We spent every night in each other's company.<br />

MIKE. There's no word in the Irish language for what you were doing.


WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I wasn't with him when he died. I'm going round the twist with heartbreak.<br />

MIKE. He's dead?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Yes. I thought of topping myself. As a gesture.<br />

MIKE. Kill yourself?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I don't want to live. That's a crude way of putting it.<br />

MIKE. You won't do it, though?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. No. I've made a will, of course. In case anything should happen in the future.<br />

MIKE. What might happen?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I might get killed. I heard he was a friend of yours.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> takes a snapshot from his pocket and hands it to MIKE.<br />

Recognise him? What's the matter? The light hurting your eyes.<br />

MIKE hands the snapshot back.<br />

MIKE. He was so young.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Do you recognise him?<br />

MIKE. I may have seen him once or twice.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. A van knocked him down.<br />

MIKE. Did he say anything? Was there a death-bed scene?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. He was killed instantaneous. You recently had a smash-up in your van, didn't you?<br />

I checked with the garage.<br />

MIKE. I'll have to ask you to go now. I've just realised. We can't put you up.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Why not?<br />

MIKE. Her aunt may drop in.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. She must be an ignorant kind of woman, turning up in the middle of the night.<br />

What's her name?<br />

MIKE. Snell.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. What's her first name?<br />

MIKE. Bridie Francine.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. What does she look like?<br />

xxi


xxii<br />

MIKE. She has a growth on the side of her neck. She walks with a limp.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. She sounds a dear old lady.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Well, I'm sorry I can't stay. I must be going then. Before I say goodbye would you<br />

mind telling me, as briefly as possible, why you killed my brother.<br />

MIKE. I didn't!<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You did. You were paid two hundred and fifty quid.<br />

MIKE. No!<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You killed my brother. You're a liar.<br />

MIKE (frightened). What are you going to do?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Nothing I can do, is there? (WILS<strong>ON</strong> picks up his suitcase and goes to the door.) I'll be<br />

off. (He smiles, deliberately.) Give my love to Maddy.<br />

MIKE. What did you say?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Maddy. Your old scrubber.<br />

MIKE goes over to WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

MIKE. I don't know any Maddy.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. She lives here. It's her trade name.<br />

MIKE. If you've had her I'll swing for you.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Would you kill me?<br />

MIKE. I'd throttle you with my bare hands.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You've got a gun. Kill me with that.<br />

MIKE. I never murdered your brother. Don’t you believe me?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. No. I might decide to put Maddy in the pudding club. I never take precautions.<br />

MIKE gives a groan of pain. He runs to the drawer, rummages and takes the gun from the drawer.<br />

MIKE (waving the gun before WILS<strong>ON</strong>). See this? I'll use it if I catch you with her.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. How good a shot are you?<br />

MIKE. I'm an expert.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. The heart is situated…(He points.)… just below this badge on my pullover. Don't<br />

miss, will you? I don't want to be injured. I want to be dead.


MIKE. You think I'm joking?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I hope you're not.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Have you noticed that mole she has?<br />

MIKE. Where?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. In a private place. I don't expect you've looked lately. That's why she's gone for<br />

someone younger.<br />

MIKE. Get out!<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> smiles and exits. MIKE puts the gun away in the drawer.<br />

They think because you're a criminal they can treat you like dirt. Oh, but he's playing with<br />

fire. I'll shoot him. I'll geld him. I'll have the stones off him if he's done her.<br />

He goes into the bedroom, picks up his pyjamas and slippers, pulls the clothing and a pillow from the bed and<br />

enters the main room.<br />

I'll sleep out here. I can't have her next to me.<br />

He sits on the settee and begins to undress.<br />

Yet you'd swear you were safe with her. She's not much of a looker.<br />

MIKE puts on his pyjama jacket.<br />

The sex is rotten. Perfidious. Treacherous. She's old enough to be his mother. She's whored<br />

herself under two assumed names. She wasted her auntie's legacy on cards for tobacconists'<br />

windows. Oh, it's too much! I'll have to kill her.<br />

MIKE puts on his pyjama trousers.<br />

If I kill her I'd be alone. The pain of it. I’m too old to start again. Too old. I love her. She's all<br />

I've got.<br />

MIKE puts on his slippers. He puts his coat on as a dressing-gown. JOYCE enters. She takes off her<br />

cardigan.<br />

JOYCE. Has he gone?<br />

MIKE (looking up, narrowing his eyes). What d'you mean?<br />

JOYCE. I thought he was staying here.<br />

MIKE. Do you want him to?<br />

JOYCE. Do I want him to?<br />

MIKE (nodding his head). I see your plan. I see it. You’ve the cunning of Luther.<br />

JOYCE walks past him into the bedroom.<br />

xxiii


xxiv<br />

MIKE. Where are you going?<br />

JOYCE. To bed. I'm not listening to you.<br />

MIKE. You cow! Playing me up.<br />

JOYCE. What's got into you?<br />

MIKE. A fine family. Your mother was doing it in a doorway the night she was killed. Your<br />

granny spent Mafeking night on her back. That makes three generations of whores.<br />

He smacks her face. JOYCE shrieks with surprise and fright.<br />

I'll murder you!<br />

He leaps upon her. They fall across the bed.<br />

JOYCE. Mind the fish! You'll upset my goldfish.<br />

MIKE (standing up, taking off his coat). What d'you want to keep fish in a bedroom for? It's not<br />

hygienic.<br />

He gets into bed. Joyce fetches the pillow and blanket from the main room and puts them on the bed.<br />

JOYCE. What's he been telling you?<br />

MIKE. Did you let him?<br />

JOYCE. He never touched me.<br />

MIKE. You'd have to say that. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to be on my own again. I<br />

was so lonely before.<br />

INTERLUDE FIVE<br />

SCENE SIX<br />

Next morning.<br />

JOYCE is washing dishes. The doorbell rings. JOYCE takes off her gloves and wipes her hands. The door is<br />

pushed open and WILS<strong>ON</strong> enters.<br />

JOYCE. What are you doing in here? My husband is downstairs.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I know. I told him we were having an affair last night. You don't want to have an<br />

affair with me by any chance?<br />

JOYCE. You're only a little boy.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> picks up a chair and wedges it under the handle of the door.<br />

JOYCE. What are you doing that for?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. So when he comes and tries the handle he'll think we're knocking it off.


JOYCE (with distaste). Don't use expressions like that. I'm not used to it.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. When you were on the game you must've been.<br />

JOYCE. I never allowed anyone to take liberties. Who told you about me?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. My brother. He had it off with you after seeing The Sound of Music. He was as pissed<br />

as a fart. (Loosens his lie.) We should have some warmth. Haven't you got an electric fire? I<br />

hadn't anticipated being frozen to death.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> goes off into the bedroom.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. Are these some kind of carp?<br />

JOYCE. No. Just goldfish.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> enters the main room.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. You can catch germs from them, you know.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> takes off his tie.<br />

My brother would've been twenty-four in three days' time.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> kicks off his shoes.<br />

I expect he would have made good soon or later. I don't take after him.<br />

He sighs and shakes his head.<br />

I get a bit lost without him, I don't mind admitting.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> takes his pullover off, unbuttons his shirt, pins a badge on his shirt above the heart, and unzips his<br />

fly.<br />

JOYCE. Here, what are you doing?<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. It ought to look as if we're on the job when he comes up.<br />

JOYCE. Stop it! Stop it! What will Michael think? He'll think we're carrying on.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I banked on him being up here by now.<br />

JOYCE picks up his pullover.<br />

JOYCE (handing him his pullover). Put your clothes on. Don't be so silly.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> (accepting the pullover). He won't come up. He won't. I can see this is a failure like<br />

everything else.<br />

MIKE (offstage). Joycie! Joycie . . .<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. I am sorry I've caused trouble. My heart is breaking. I wish I'd been with him<br />

xxv


xxvi<br />

when he died.<br />

JOYCE. You poor boy. Oh, you poor boy.<br />

JOYCE kisses his cheek tenderly. He holds her close. MIKE crashes into the room. He advances slowly.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> turns from JOYCE, smiles at MIKE, and zips up his fly. MIKE fires the gun. The shot<br />

crashes into the goldfish bowl. JOYCE screams. A second shot hits WILS<strong>ON</strong> in the chest.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong>. He's shot me.<br />

He crashes to the floor on his knees.<br />

My will is in my overcoat pocket. Remember will you? He took it serious. How charming. (He<br />

coughs, blood spurts from his mouth.) Am I dying ? I think …Oh…<br />

He falls forward.<br />

JOYCE. He's fainted.<br />

MIKE (laying the gun aside). He's dead.<br />

JOYCE. But he can't be. You haven't killed him?<br />

MIKE. Bring a sheet. Cover his body.<br />

JOYCE. I've a bit of sacking somewhere.<br />

MIKE. I said a sheet! Give him the best.<br />

MIKE goes into the bedroom and drags a sheet front the bed, which he puts over WILS<strong>ON</strong>'S body.<br />

JOYCE. What excuse was there to shoot him?<br />

MIKE. He was misbehaving himself with my wife.<br />

JOYCE. But I'm not your wife. And he wasn't.<br />

MIKE. He called you Maddy.<br />

JOYCE. Someone must've told him about my past. Did you have anything to do with his<br />

brother's death?<br />

MIKE. Yes.<br />

JOYCE. This is what comes of having no regular job. Dial 999. I'll tell them I was assaulted.<br />

MIKE. You'll stick by me, Joycie?<br />

JOYCE. Of course, dear. (She kisses him.) I love you.<br />

JOYCE sees the shattered goldfish bowl.<br />

JOYCE. Oh, look Michael! (Bursting into tears.) My goldfish!<br />

She picks up a fish.


JOYCE. They're dead. And I reared them so carefully. And while all this was going on they<br />

died.<br />

JOYCE sobs. MIKE puts his arm round her and leads her to the settee. She sits.<br />

MIKE. Sit down. I'll fetch the police. This has been a crime of passion. They'll understand.<br />

They have wives and goldfish of their own.<br />

JOYCE is too heartbroken to answer. She buries her face in MIKE'S shoulder. He holds her close.<br />

CURTAIN<br />

Text set with gratefully received permission of the Orton Estate.<br />

xxvii


xxviii


SCORE<br />

TRANSPOSED<br />

Joe Orton<br />

Flute<br />

Oboe<br />

Clarinet in Bb<br />

Bassoon<br />

Horn in F<br />

Timpani<br />

Percussion<br />

Acoustic Guitar<br />

JOYCE<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

MIKE<br />

Piano<br />

Violin I<br />

Violin II<br />

Viola<br />

Violoncello<br />

Double Bass<br />

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<strong>THE</strong> <strong>RUFFIAN</strong> <strong>ON</strong> <strong>THE</strong> <strong>STAIR</strong><br />

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<strong>Christian</strong> <strong>Morris</strong><br />

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24<br />

Fl.<br />

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Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

JOYCE<br />

MIKE<br />

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26<br />

Fl.<br />

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Cl.<br />

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28<br />

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JOYCE<br />

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JOYCE tries to close the door, but WILS<strong>ON</strong> bloks it with his foot<br />

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I'mso-rryyou'vebeen<br />

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<br />

31


32<br />

A. Fl.<br />

Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Cbsn.<br />

Perc.<br />

A. Gtr.<br />

JOYCE<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Pno.<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

19<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

mf<br />

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mf<br />

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mf<br />

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Very slow, expectant q = c.60<br />

p<br />

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Very slow, expectant q = c.60<br />

<br />

p<br />

p<br />

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JOYCE lets him in and closes the door<br />

p<br />

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smiles<br />

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Just for a mi-<br />

nute.<br />

14<br />

14<br />

Tempo I (q = c. 69)<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong> sits down<br />

mf<br />

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<br />

in?<br />

How a<br />

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take flute<br />

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- bout a<br />

Tempo I (q = c. 69)<br />

<br />

<br />

mf<br />

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<br />

ff


Perc.<br />

A. Gtr.<br />

JOYCE<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

<br />

Pno.<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Timp.<br />

JOYCE<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

27<br />

<br />

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cup of tea?<br />

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gliss.<br />

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one<br />

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mf<br />

a-bout now<br />

mf pulled up sharp<br />

3<br />

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Double Tempo<br />

(q = c. 140)<br />

f <br />

Oh,<br />

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pizz. <br />

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pizz.<br />

mf<br />

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(pluck first note)<br />

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tion inmy job.<br />

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JOYCE makes the tea<br />

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33


34<br />

Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Timp.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

42<br />

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Qual - i -fied<br />

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had a busi - ness just a cou-<br />

ple of chairs<br />

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some no - ta - ble heads in my time.<br />

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ff


Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

Timp.<br />

Perc.<br />

A. Gtr.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Pno.<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

50<br />

<br />

<br />

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f<br />

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Though we had<br />

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35


36<br />

Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

B. Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

Perc.<br />

A. Gtr.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

59<br />

<br />

<br />

3<br />

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Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

B. Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

Timp.<br />

Perc.<br />

A. Gtr.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Pno.<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

65<br />

<br />

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37


38<br />

Fl.<br />

A. Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

B. Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

Timp.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Pno.<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

71<br />

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3 3 3


Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

B. Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

Timp.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Pno.<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

78<br />

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39


40<br />

Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

Cl.<br />

B. Cl.<br />

Cbsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

Perc.<br />

A. Gtr.<br />

JOYCE<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Pno.<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

85<br />

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<br />

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Tempo I<br />

(q = c. 69)<br />

JOYCE pours the tea<br />

Tempo I<br />

(q = c. 69)<br />

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Bsn.<br />

Cbsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

Perc.<br />

A. Gtr.<br />

JOYCE<br />

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41


42<br />

A. Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

B. Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

<br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Fl.<br />

Ob.<br />

Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

Vla.<br />

Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

108<br />

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Cl.<br />

Bsn.<br />

Hn.<br />

WILS<strong>ON</strong><br />

Vln. I<br />

Vln. II<br />

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Vc.<br />

Db.<br />

119 <br />

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52<br />

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