LAPIS LAZULI - Hahnemann Instituut Nederland
LAPIS LAZULI - Hahnemann Instituut Nederland
LAPIS LAZULI - Hahnemann Instituut Nederland
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<strong>LAPIS</strong> <strong>LAZULI</strong><br />
The trituration proving<br />
(The Hague December 2004 - June 2005)
Medicine Buddha<br />
Picture on the front page "The Medicine Buddha” by Robert Beer, London.<br />
Text by Thrangu Rinpoche 1 .<br />
Teachings on the<br />
Medicine Buddha Sadhana<br />
Ven. Thrangu Rinpoche<br />
"If one meditates on the Medicine Buddha, one will eventually attain enlightenment, but<br />
in the meantime one will experience an increase in healing powers both for oneself and<br />
others and a decrease in physical and mental illness and suffering."<br />
— Lama Tashi Namgyal ---<br />
Whether or not we have a very strong motive to attain Buddha hood, we all desire these sorts<br />
of relative objectives, so deity meditation provides tremendous incentive for the practice of<br />
dharma medicine.<br />
This is all possible with meditation because of the special quality of the vajrayana, which<br />
takes enlightenment as the path, rather than seeing it merely as a goal. Through the three<br />
processes of abhisheka, which ripens the mental continuum; oral transmission, which supports<br />
one’s practice; and the teachings, which liberate, one is connected directly to the enlightened<br />
state transmitted by the guru and the lineage. Thereafter, when one practices or merely brings<br />
to mind those teachings, one is instantly reconnected with that compassionate primordial<br />
awareness, and this constant reconnecting then becomes one’s path, bringing with it the rapid<br />
purification of mental defilements and the rapid accumulation of merit and wisdom. The<br />
recognition of this connection is the uncovering of one’s own wisdom. If it goes<br />
unrecognized, it still exists in the practitioner’s mental continuum as a seed, which will<br />
gradually ripen according to conditions."<br />
Reasons for a practitioner to choose this kind of practice: "We might think that fundamentally<br />
we are practicing the Medicine Buddha in order to benefit our own bodies, whereas the<br />
motivation of bodhicitta is the wish to benefit all beings. But in fact there is no contradiction,<br />
because, in order to be effective in benefiting other beings, we need to accomplish an<br />
excellent Samadhi or meditative absorption; and in order to accomplish that, together with the<br />
insight and realization that it brings, we need to have a stable practice. In order to have a<br />
stable and profound practice, we need to be physically and mentally healthy or comfortable,<br />
because by being comfortable in our body, and comfortable in our mind, we will be free of<br />
obstacles to diligence in practice and free of obstacles to the cultivation of meditative<br />
absorption. So therefore, we are practicing the Medicine Buddha in order to attain states of<br />
mental and physical health or balance, not merely for our own benefit, but for the benefit of<br />
others as well."<br />
* * *<br />
"The primary technique in the meditation consists of imagining ourselves to be the Medicine<br />
Buddha, conceiving of yourself as the Medicine Buddha. By replacing the thought of yourself<br />
as yourself with the thought of yourself as the Medicine Buddha, you gradually counteract<br />
and remove the fixation on your personal self. And as that fixation is removed, the power of<br />
1 http://www.dharma-haven.org/thrangu-medicine-buddha.htm<br />
2
the seventh consciousness is reduced. And as it is reduced, the kleshas or mental afflictions<br />
are gradually weakened, which causes you to experience greater and greater well-being in<br />
both body and mind."<br />
* * *<br />
"It is through regarding oneself as the deity that defects are gradually eradicated and qualities<br />
gradually revealed. The primary technique of visualization is to visualize ourselves as the<br />
deity, because the potential to transcend our problems is innate rather than external to us."<br />
* * *<br />
"We supplement the visualization of ourselves as the deity with visualizations such as<br />
imagining the actual wisdom deities themselves dissolving into ourselves again and again, by<br />
means of which we receive their blessing. Sometimes we visualize the deity in front of us,<br />
separate from ourselves, thinking that rays of light from the deity’s heart engulf and pervade<br />
us, granting the blessing of the deity. And sometimes we visualize that rays of light, which<br />
embody the blessing of that deity in front of us, strike all beings, removing their obstacles,<br />
increasing their longevity, wisdom, and so on."<br />
* * *<br />
"The practice of the Medicine Buddha comes primarily from the uncommon tradition of the<br />
vajrayana, which means that the transmission of the practice is done using three processes<br />
called the empowerment, which ripens; the instruction, which frees; and the reading<br />
transmission, which supports. The function of empowerment, the formal ceremony or ritual of<br />
empowerment, is to introduce you to the practice and to the process of visualization and so<br />
forth, which will make up the practice. The function of the instruction, which frees, is to give<br />
you complete access to the practice by means of telling you literally how to do it— what you<br />
do with your body, what you say with your speech, and what you think with your mind. The<br />
function of the reading transmission, which supports, is to transmit the blessing of the lineage<br />
of the practice which serves to consecrate or bless your practice in the form of sound. Because<br />
the lineage has been transmitted as the sound of the words of its transmission, when the<br />
reading transmission is given to you, you simply listen to the sound and think that by doing so<br />
you receive the blessing of the lineage."<br />
* * *<br />
"With regard to the empowerment, you should understand that the Medicine Buddha practice<br />
is not solely a vajrayana practice. Like the practice of mahamudra, it is a combination of<br />
vajrayana [tantra] and sutra. For example, while we could say that mahamudra is primarily<br />
taught in the vajrayana, it is also found in certain sutras, such as the Samadhiraja Sutra, and so<br />
forth. In the same way, this practice of the Medicine Buddha is a combination of what the<br />
Buddha taught about the Medicine Buddha in the sutras of the Medicine Buddha and in<br />
various tantras. Because it is connected with vajrayana, it is most appropriate to receive the<br />
empowerment to enhance the practice; but because it is also connected with the sutras, it is<br />
acceptable to do the practice without the empowerment as well."<br />
The reading transmission or lung for the Medicine Buddha practice tells what the practitioner<br />
should actually be doing at that point in the liturgy, and what the various symbols and<br />
symbolic actions mean.<br />
The liturgy begins with a supplication of the Medicine Buddha and his retinue, including the<br />
holders of the lineage of this teaching, in order to invite the awareness of and to receive the<br />
blessings of the deity and the lineage.<br />
3
The invocation of the principle Medicine Buddha begins with these lines:<br />
You are endowed with an oceanic treasury of qualities and merit;<br />
by the blessing of your inconceivable compassion<br />
you calm the suffering and torment of sentient beings.<br />
I supplicate you, Light of <strong>LAPIS</strong> <strong>LAZULI</strong>.<br />
The description and commentary on the arms and hands points out how they symbolize the<br />
Medicine Buddha's mastery of both physical and spiritual aspects of healing:<br />
The Medicine Buddha has two arms: his right hand in the mudra of supreme generosity holds<br />
an arura. His left hand in meditation mudra holds a begging bowl.<br />
His right hand is extended, palm outward, over his right knee in the gesture called supreme<br />
generosity. In it he holds the arura, or myrobalan, fruit. This plant represents all the best<br />
medicines. The position of his right hand and the arura which he holds represent the<br />
eradication of suffering, especially the suffering of sickness, using the means of relative truth.<br />
Sickness can be alleviated by adjusting the functioning of interdependent causes and<br />
conditions by the use of relative means within the realm of relative truth, such as medical<br />
treatment and so on. The giving of these methods is represented by the gesture of the<br />
Medicine Buddha’s right hand.<br />
His left hand rests in his lap, palm upward, in the gesture of meditative stability or meditation,<br />
which represents the eradication of sickness and suffering— and, indeed, the very roots of<br />
samsara— through the realization of absolute truth. From the point of view of either relative<br />
truth or absolute truth, the fundamental cause of sickness and suffering is a lack of<br />
contentment and the addictive quality of samsara. Therefore, to indicate the need for<br />
contentment, in his left hand he holds a begging bowl.<br />
Visualization is much more than merely wishful fantasy:<br />
"More important than how many deities you visualize is to understand what you are doing.<br />
And most important is to understand that by visualizing yourself as the Medicine Buddha you<br />
are not pretending to be something that you are not, and that by visualizing the Medicine<br />
Buddha and his retinue in front of you, you are not pretending that they are in a place where<br />
they are not. By definition, Buddhas are omniscient. Whenever someone thinks of them,<br />
brings them to mind, or supplicates them, they are aware of it and respond with their<br />
compassion and blessing. In the final analysis, the situation is identical to their actually being<br />
present anywhere they are thought of. Therefore, it is always appropriate to regard a Buddha<br />
that is present in one’s mind as actually being present in front of one. When you think that the<br />
Medicine Buddha, together with his retinue, is present in front of you, it is really true that they<br />
are.<br />
Visualizing yourself as the Medicine Buddha is also appropriate, because your fundamental<br />
nature— what you truly are— is Buddha nature. Buddha nature is essentially the potential to<br />
attain awakening. At some point in the future you will attain the same awakening or Buddha<br />
hood as the Medicine Buddha himself. By visualizing yourself as the Medicine Buddha, you<br />
are assuming the appearance of what fundamentally you are even now and what manifestly<br />
you will be upon your awakening. It is to acknowledge this truth that you assume the aspect<br />
4
of the body, speech, and mind of the Medicine Buddha, which is, therefore, entirely<br />
appropriate.<br />
"If you can visualize clearly, it is best to do all of this very slowly and gradually. While you<br />
continue to say the mantra, you think that rays of light emerge from the self-visualization, go<br />
to the front visualization, and then from the front visualization outwards to the pure realms,<br />
proceeding gradually and slowly. Especially when the blessings of body, speech, and mind<br />
rain down upon and dissolve into you, you can do the visualizations in sequence: first,<br />
visualizing the blessings of body raining down, without being in any kind of a hurry and so<br />
quite distinctly; and then visualizing the blessings of speech and then the blessings of mind. If<br />
you find that the visualization is extremely unclear, if you wish, you can do it all at once. But<br />
if you do it gradually and slowly, you will find that you will get a much stronger sense of the<br />
blessings actually entering into you. By taking your time with the visualization, you will<br />
develop real confidence, a real feeling of the blessings entering into you."<br />
A special type of visualization when the main point is the actual alleviation of sickness:<br />
You can visualize yourself as the Medicine Buddha, if you wish, but the main focus is to<br />
actually visualize a small form of the Medicine Buddha, no larger than four finger-widths in<br />
height, in the actual part of your body that is afflicted. So if it is an illness or pain in the head,<br />
visualize a small Medicine Buddha in he head; Visualize the Medicine Buddha in that place,<br />
and think that from this small but vivid form of the Medicine Buddha rays of light are<br />
emitted. These rays of light are not simply light, which is dry, but liquid light having a quality<br />
of ambrosia. This luminous ambrosia or liquid light actually cleanses and removes the<br />
sickness and pain— whatever it is. You can do this not only for yourself, by visualizing the<br />
Medicine Buddha in the appropriate part of your own body, but you can do it for others as<br />
well by visualizing the Medicine Buddha in the appropriate part of their body or bodies. The<br />
radiation of rays of light of ambrosia and so on is the same.<br />
This can be applied not only to physical sickness but to mental problems as well. If you want<br />
to get rid of a particular type of anxiety or stress or depression or fear or any other kind of<br />
unpleasant mental experience, you can visualize the Medicine Buddha seated above the top of<br />
your head and think in the same way as before that luminous ambrosia or liquid light emerges<br />
from his body, filling your body and cleansing you of any problem, whatever it is.<br />
5
Bhaisajyaguru Tathagata,<br />
you who shine in the eastern realm,<br />
May we know your healing purity<br />
which cures all sorrow, pain, and ill.<br />
In your land of Lapis lazuli,<br />
your power revealed through meditation:<br />
You dispense your medicine of wondrous Dharma<br />
that sentient beings might know Relief.<br />
Never are we apart from your Pure Love,<br />
though clouds of karma oft’ obscure our sight.<br />
Help us walk the Path through suffering and its cause;<br />
the end: Nirvana, ceaseless joy.<br />
May peace of Heart pervade all beings,<br />
without, within, and through boundless time and space.<br />
6
Index<br />
Index Page 7<br />
Introduction Page 9<br />
Chapter One - Rocks and Gem stones: an introduction to formation, types; history, religion & medicine Page 10<br />
1a. Transformation cycle of rocks and formation of gems in term definition. Page 10<br />
1b. Gemstones in history and religion. Page 13<br />
1c. Gemstones in ancient medicine and today’s therapies. Page 14<br />
1d. Gem stones in homeopathy - common themes of gems as a collective. Page 15<br />
1e. Common themes of the gem remedies psyche. Page 17<br />
Chapter Two - Introduction to Lapis Lazuli Page 19<br />
2a. Physical properties of Lapis Lazuli and its chemical composition. Page 19<br />
2b. Lapis Lazuli historical information and uses. Page 19<br />
2c. Lapis Lazuli metaphysical properties & healing powers. Page 20<br />
2d. Links between stone and the trituration proving of Lapis Lazuli. Page 20<br />
2e. A description of the components of Lapis Lazuli according to the periodic table. Page 21<br />
Chapter Three -The trituration of Lapis Lazuli in the Netherlands Page 25<br />
3a. The conduction of the trituration proving. Page 25<br />
3b/c. The classification of symptoms in the trituration proving. Page 27<br />
3d. The following order of symptom lists. Page 28<br />
3e. Mind Symptoms. Page 29<br />
3f. Physical Symptoms. Page 44<br />
3g. Rubrics of physical symptoms. Page 49<br />
3h. Dreams of the Lapis Lazuli trituration. Page 55<br />
3i. C5- Level ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Page 58<br />
3j. List of symptoms after one single dose of Lapis Lazuli C40/4. Page 61<br />
Mother Mary & Lapis Lazuli. Page 63<br />
Let it be and analysis. Page 66<br />
3k. Summary of symptoms: Levels C1 to C4. Page 68<br />
3l. The Essence of Lapis Lazuli. Page 70<br />
Chapter Four – Other provings of Lapis Lazuli – Schadde (Germany) & Tumminello (Australia) Page 72<br />
4a. The proving of Lapis Lazuli by Anne Schadde. Page 72<br />
4b. Summary of the main symptoms: proving of Lapis Lazuli by Anne Schadde. Page 72<br />
4c. Rubrics of symptoms. Page 73<br />
4d. Summary of the main symptoms by Anne Schadde Page 80<br />
4e. Comments by provers & supervisors. Page 81<br />
4f. Immersion proving of Lapis Lazuli by Peter Tumminello. Page 83<br />
4g. Key mental themes. Page 85<br />
4h. Psyche. Page 85<br />
4i. Spiritual themes. Page 86<br />
4j. Physical particulars. Page 86<br />
4k. Generals. Page 88<br />
Chapter Five - Comparison of the provings Schadde – Timmerman; Tumminello – Timmerman Page 89<br />
5a. Comparison provings Schadde – Timmerman: Prominent differences & similarities. Page 89<br />
5b. Conclusion from comparison provings Schadde – Timmerman. Page 92<br />
5c. Comparison provings Tumminello – Timmerman: Prominent differences & similarities. Page 93<br />
5d. Conclusion from comparison provings Tumminello – Timmerman. Page 95<br />
Chapter Six – Differential Diagnoses Page 96<br />
6a. Themes of remedy groups (Aid for DD’s) Page 96<br />
6b. Minerals/metals – remarkable differences & common traits to Lapis Lazuli. Page 99<br />
6c. Plants/Trees. Page 103<br />
Literature Page 104<br />
Appendix<br />
A. Lapis Lazuli Poem by William Butler Yeats. Page 105<br />
B. Fairy tale Sleeping Beauty by Arthur Quilles. Page 106<br />
C. Original symptom list from Dutch provers (C1 t/m C5) + C40/4. Page 109<br />
7
Note to the reader:<br />
Due to some technical problems it has not been possible yet to add the picture of the painting<br />
done by the provers during the trituration proving of Lapis Lazuli. This shall be added as soon<br />
as possible.<br />
8
Introduction<br />
In my fascination for homeopathy I have always strived to experience more and more of it.<br />
It has always been clear to me, that through experience the knowledge grows and takes its<br />
place in a lot faster and efficient way. I love reading about remedies and substances but often<br />
I can not image exactly how that information would come to life until I have had a similar<br />
experience myself or with someone or something around me.<br />
The reason why I have chosen to write about a trituration and therefore to go into the<br />
experience is because I did not only want to read about something and leave the rest to<br />
imagination. To me a trituration or a proving covers the totality of what I find essential to<br />
know in homeopathy.<br />
If I look at it from the four main pillars of homeopathy; I can relate to these in the following<br />
manner:<br />
• Minimum dose: it gives me a little of something, not too much of one thing that would<br />
enough to make me tired of it.<br />
• Like cures like: it gives a bit of thinking and a bit of feeling; it gives me what I need to<br />
keep motivating myself, it is a form of healing, if you like.<br />
• Totality: it covers all the subjects in homeopathy, the proving, symptom registration,<br />
symptom translation, pathology, repertory, writing the Materia Medica and finally<br />
understanding the substance as a whole.<br />
• Individuality: a proving meets my necessities in this process where I can learn all of<br />
that necessary to be a good homeopath.<br />
I can only say that these two years of triturations have been a very exciting and most of the<br />
time pleasant journey, even if at times, I cursed myself for having taken part in something so<br />
dynamic. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with the experiences. During the trituration of<br />
Lapis lazuli one of the most rewarding experiences was the collective painting we did, in<br />
which some essential themes of the remedy became clear to us. Please view the painting on<br />
the previous page.<br />
I do recommend everyone to do this, even if it is just once in your life, it will certainly<br />
broaden your views. I hope my text encourages you to gather strength or even just curiosity to<br />
take on such adventure.<br />
I dedicate this work to all the brothers and sisters around the world that have taken on the<br />
challenge and I thank my mentor, Alize Timmerman for her passionate guidance during this<br />
journey.<br />
Vanessa Parrado Lobo<br />
<strong>Hahnemann</strong> Institute, The Hague 2006<br />
Version 1.0 May 26 th 2006<br />
9
Chapter 1<br />
1. Rocks and Gem stones: an introduction to formation; history, religion & medicine<br />
2 1a. Transformation cycle of rocks and formation of gems in term definition :<br />
Magma: Molten rock material that forms igneous rocks upon cooling. Magma that reaches<br />
the surface is referred to as lava.<br />
Igneous rock: A rock formed by congealing rapidly or slowly from a molten state. This<br />
forms sediment. These are generally very hard. These are liquid lava rocks underground.<br />
Igneous rock = born of fire. It’s a solidified rock.<br />
Sedimentation: is the process of deposition of mineral grains or precipitates in beds or other<br />
accumulations. Here comes sedimentary rock from.<br />
Sedimentary rock: A rock formed by the accumulation and cementation of mineral grains<br />
transported by wind, water, or ice to the site of deposition or chemically precipitated at the<br />
depositional site, built layers on layers. Many years of slow build up. Fossils clear prove<br />
sedimentary - here we look for history of rocks, made gently enough to preserve living things.<br />
They are easy to tear apart. Cooling or breaking down process. Impressions and experiences<br />
built up over a longer period of time. This is the opposite of igneous rocks.<br />
• Shale or mudstone is made of tiny particles of clay. It forms in the sea bottom.<br />
Metamorphic rock: These are what happen when sedimentary and igneous rocks become<br />
changed, or metamorphosed, by conditions underground. The four main agents that<br />
metamorphose rocks are heat, pressure, fluids and strain. These agents can act and interact in<br />
an infinite variety of ways. As a result, most of the thousands of rare minerals known to<br />
science occur in metamorphic ("shape-changed") rocks.<br />
The fiery element is important in all the gems, fire melds down to basic form. The heat can<br />
bring about sudden change.<br />
• Marble: lime stone turns into marble.<br />
• Gneiss: (pronounced nice) is a typical metamorphic rock type, in which a sedimentary<br />
or igneous rock has been deeply buried and subjected to high temperatures and<br />
pressures.<br />
• Migmatite: it is partly melted. This is an extreme example of metamorphism, like<br />
putting gneiss through a taffy-puller.<br />
Crystals (gems) are formed when igneous rocks (born of fire) and sedimentary rocks (sand<br />
stone that contains water) meet. The result of this meeting is nothing like the original<br />
substances, a big transformation takes place.<br />
Crystals 3 : are homogenous solid formed by a repeating, three-dimensional pattern of atoms,<br />
ions, or molecules and having fixed distances between constituent parts.<br />
A crystal is a mineral, especially a transparent form of quartz, having a crystalline structure,<br />
often characterized by external planar faces.<br />
2 Notes from Peter Tumminello’s seminar The Hague 6-7 May 2005<br />
3 http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=crystals<br />
10
Characteristics of crystal structures:<br />
• Crystals can’t be seen with the naked eye.<br />
• Crystals are formed through tension and pressure.<br />
• Andesite: have small crystals very small volcanic.<br />
• Plutonic: have bigger crystals.<br />
• Pegmatite: have very large crystals. Where most crystals form, hot magma comes in<br />
contact with water (fluid) then crystals start to form. Brought up by slow cooling.<br />
Rock identification tables 4<br />
These tables will help you identify almost any rock you're likely to find. First determine<br />
whether your rock is igneous, sedimentary or metamorphic. The quick way to tell is:<br />
• Igneous: little texture or layering; mostly black, white and/or grey minerals; may look<br />
like lava.<br />
• Sedimentary: layers of sandy or clayey rock (strata); tends to split along layers;<br />
mostly brown or grey; may have fossils and water or wind marks.<br />
• Metamorphic: layers of light and dark minerals (foliation), often wavy; various<br />
colours; glittery from mica.<br />
Then start in the left column of the appropriate table and work your way across. Follow the<br />
links to pictures and more information. If you don't find a match, try another of the three big<br />
types.<br />
Grain Size has two values: "coarse" grains are visible, and the minerals can usually be<br />
identified using a magnifier; "fine" grains are invisible to the naked eye and cannot be<br />
identified with a magnifier. The cut-off is about 0.1 millimetres, between sand size and silt<br />
size.<br />
Hardness has three values: "hard" rock scratches glass, which usually signifies the minerals<br />
quartz or feldspar (Mohs hardness 6-7 and up); "soft" rock does not scratch glass but scratches<br />
fingernails (Mohs 3-5); "very soft" rock can be scratched with a fingernail (Mohs 1-2). All<br />
igneous rocks are hard.<br />
Igneous Rocks<br />
Grain<br />
Size<br />
Color Other Composition Rock Type<br />
fine dark glassy texture lava glass, usually felsic Obsidian<br />
fine light frothy texture lava froth, felsic Pumice<br />
fine dark frothy texture lava froth, basaltic Scoria<br />
fine light contains quartz high-silica (felsic) lava Felsite<br />
fine medium between felsite and basalt medium-silica lava Andesite<br />
fine dark has no quartz low-silica (mafic) lava Basalt<br />
mixed any color<br />
fine groundmass with larger grains<br />
(phenocrysts)<br />
coarse light wide range of color and grain size<br />
4 http://geology.about.com/od/nutshells/<br />
feldspar, quartz, pyroxene or olivine phenocrysts Porphyry<br />
feldspar and quartz with minor mica, amphibole<br />
or pyroxene; felsic<br />
11<br />
Granite
coarse light like granite but without quartz<br />
coarse<br />
coarse<br />
medium to<br />
dark<br />
medium to<br />
dark<br />
feldspar with minor mica, amphibole or<br />
pyroxene; felsic<br />
Syenite<br />
little or no quartz feldspar and dark minerals; mafic Diorite<br />
no quartz; may have olivine feldspar and dark minerals; mafic Gabbro<br />
coarse dark dense; always has olivine dark minerals, pyroxene and olivine; ultramafic Peridotite<br />
coarse dark dense pyroxene; ultramafic Pyroxenite<br />
coarse green dense olivine; ultramafic Dunite<br />
Sedimentary Rocks<br />
Hardness Grain Size Composition Other Rock Type<br />
hard mixed mixed rocks and sediment round rocks in sediment matrix Conglomerate<br />
hard or<br />
soft<br />
mixed mixed rocks and sediment<br />
sharp pieces of same material as<br />
groundmass<br />
Breccia<br />
hard coarse clean quartz white to brown Sandstone<br />
hard coarse clean quartz and feldspar usually very coarse Arkose<br />
hard mixed<br />
mixed sediment with rock grains and<br />
clay<br />
gray or dark and "dirty" Graywacke<br />
hard fine very fine sand; no clay feels gritty on teeth Siltstone<br />
hard fine chalcedony no fizzing with acid Chert<br />
soft fine clay minerals foliated Shale<br />
soft fine carbon black; burns with tarry smoke Coal<br />
soft fine calcite fizzes with acid Limestone<br />
soft<br />
coarse or<br />
fine<br />
dolomite (magnesian calcite) no fizzing with acid unless powdered Dolomite or Dolostone<br />
soft coarse fossil shells mostly pieces Coquina<br />
very soft coarse halite salt taste Rock Salt<br />
very soft coarse gypsum white or pink Gypsum<br />
Metamorphic Rocks<br />
Foliation Grain Size Hardness Color Other Rock Type<br />
foliated fine soft dark "tink" when struck Slate<br />
foliated fine soft dark shiny; crinkly foliation Phyllite<br />
foliated coarse hard mixed "salt & pepper" often has large crystals Schist<br />
foliated coarse hard mixed banded Gneiss<br />
foliated coarse hard mixed distorted "melted" layers Migmatite<br />
foliated coarse hard dark mostly hornblende Amphibolite<br />
nonfoliated coarse hard red and green dense; garnet and pyroxene Eclogite<br />
nonfoliated coarse soft light fizzes with acid (calcite) Marble<br />
nonfoliated coarse hard light no fizzing with acid (quartz) Quartzite<br />
nonfoliated coarse or fine hard dark dull and opaque colors Hornfels<br />
1b. Gem stones in history and religion.<br />
Gem stones have been present throughout history. They have always been a symbol of wealth<br />
and high social status, especially during the middle ages and after. For instance diamonds<br />
12
were only to be worn by aristocratic families in Europe; diamonds were the first symbol of<br />
engagement and eternal love. In Asia gem stones were only meant for highly important people<br />
like kings and emperors. Rubies were especially appreciated in India and Jade in China and<br />
Japan.<br />
Long before the middle Ages, during the Egyptian empire, Roman and Greek empires gems<br />
had more of a spiritual character. Amulets made of gemstones were used in religious and<br />
spiritual ceremonies. The Assyrians considered Lapis Lazuli to be sacred. The stone brought<br />
the blue of the sky and the light of the Gods to earth.<br />
In Egypt they often used Carnelian gems, which they called the blood of Isis (the Egyptian<br />
Goddess of nature). The Carnelian amulet was placed at the throat of a corpse during<br />
embalming. It was thought to instill Isis’ protection on their journey through the underworld.<br />
Also were the Egyptians to write the 26 th chapter of their “Book of the dead” on Lapis Lazuli,<br />
which was used for religious carvings. One should always hold and rub the Lapis Lazuli with<br />
one hand while reading that particular chapter of the book.<br />
Also in the pre- Colombian cultures gems were cherished, emeralds where especially<br />
appreciated by the Muzo Indians, who controlled the emerald mines of what is now known as<br />
Colombia.<br />
Gems are said to posses some metaphysical 5 properties and therefore superstitious believes<br />
surrounded the gems, as people were convinced that wearing amulets made of some of these<br />
gem stones would keep them from being harmed. So the Holy Roman Emperors wore crowns<br />
set with opals, which were thought to protect them and their families.<br />
In Europe amber was worn as protection against witches and warlocks and even ill luck.<br />
Sailors wore amethyst to protect them and take them to safe harbor, as emeralds were thought<br />
to exorcise demons.<br />
In more recent religions like Judaism “Declaration” was a holy diamond with some negative<br />
aspects. If people erred in their worship or private lives, the stone was reputed to turn murky.<br />
This murky changed was a predictor of pestilence and death. If the stone turned red, they<br />
would die by the sword. If the diamond was bright and clear, the Jewish people of Israel knew<br />
they were free from sin and could celebrate each of their religious festivals without fear.<br />
In Christianity the Ruby symbolized the blood of Christ. The emerald denoted peace and<br />
happiness given by God and the diamond was symbolic to fidelity to Christ and God, so the<br />
popularity of wedding rings made of diamonds.<br />
Lapis Lazuli is the color of the Medicine Buddha. The Medicine Buddha is invoked for<br />
physical and Spiritual Healing. Bhaisajya-guru, Lapis Lazuli Radiance Buddha, Master of<br />
Healing, taught the “Four Treatises on Medicine,” which form the basis of the Tibetan healing<br />
arts. His colour is the blue of Lapis Lazuli. The begging bowl in his left hand is made of lapis<br />
and contains the elixir of immortality. His right hand makes the gesture of giving and holds a<br />
branch of myrobalan, the yellow fruit of which is said to cure all illnesses. To invoke healing<br />
power it is sufficient to call the name of Medicine Buddha. With this, if one is not<br />
immediately healed, one can count on improved karma in one’s next lifetime. About Medicine<br />
Buddha, please see pages previous to Index (page 7).<br />
1c. Gem stones in ancient medicine and today’s therapies.<br />
5 Metaphysical means literally, beyond the physical realm, beyond that which we can realize or discover with our five senses. It also means a<br />
branch of philosophy which studies the “being ness” or inherent nature of reality.<br />
13
Unfortunately little is known about the use of gems in ancient medicine. The only known<br />
complete Materia Medica that it is said to have described over 200 gem stones and their<br />
healing powers is that of Dioscorides 6 , which is mainly a book about herbal medicine, in<br />
which over a 1000 plants are described.<br />
Some brief general information about the use of gems as medicine in ancient times follows.<br />
During cholera plagues in ancient Egypt, slaves that mined malachite were usually unaffected,<br />
since malachite is a basic copper carbonate. Copper helps rheumatism, asthma, and colic. A<br />
powder of Carnelian was though to stop wounds from bleeding<br />
Eastern physicians thought the emerald could cure epilepsy, remove both mental and body<br />
pain, stop vomiting, purge the blood, act as an antidote to poison and bites from wasps, bees,<br />
and scorpions; helped diabetes, was a remedy for jaundice, and treat leprosy when ground<br />
finely and applied as a poultice.<br />
In 500 A.D., Chinese doctors used finely powdered jade in fruit juice for the relief of<br />
heartburn, asthma, and diabetes.<br />
Diamonds were also used as a poison. The stones were ground into powder and put into the<br />
enemy's food and drink. Many prominent people's deaths were attributed to diamond<br />
poisoning.<br />
The use of gem stones today are more energy orientated, this means that the gems are not<br />
usually crushed and prepared as a medicine but they are either worn or placed on to strategic<br />
body parts to enhance harmony of the charkas 7 during the healing sessions and after. This is<br />
believed to stimulate the body’s own healing powers by balancing the chakra energy.<br />
Balancing the chakra energy means balancing the own body’s energy therefore enhancing the<br />
body’s own healing properties. Gem stone therapy can be used either as an independent form<br />
or therapy or as a complement to massage, Reiki 8 or other alternative healing techniques like<br />
Tibetan Gong therapy 9 .<br />
In Ayurvedic medicine triturated gems have been used as remedies and beauty products for<br />
thousands of years. Other methods like wearing so called “astrological jewels” are believed to<br />
have a uniquely powerful way to mitigate and nullify the unfortunate effects of past wrong<br />
actions (negative karma), as described in Bhattacharya’s gem therapy.<br />
1d. Gem stones in homeopathy<br />
6 Dioscorides: Pedianos Dioskourides, also known as Pedanius Dioscorides, probably lived between 40CE and 90CE in the time of the<br />
Roman Emperors Nero and Vespasian. A Cilician Greek, he was born in Anazarbos (now Nazarba, near Tarsus) within the Roman Empire of<br />
the day, and today in Turkey. A learned physician, he practiced medicine as an army doctor, and saw service with the Roman legions in<br />
Greece, Italy, Asia Minor, and Provence in modern-day France.<br />
7 Chakras: In some belief systems, it is believed that the human body has seven energy vortexes located in different areas of the body. These<br />
vortexes are located at the base of the spine, the navel, the solar plexus (diaphragm area), the heart, the throat, the third eye (area between the<br />
eyes, centred on the forehead), and the crown (top of the head). Every chakra has its own properties in the form of emotions or organs in the<br />
body. An unbalance in the chakra can lead to disease in the correspondent organ or emotional/mental state of the person (emotions).<br />
8 Chakra therapy is widely used in India (Ayurveda) and in other eastern therapies like Reiki (Japanese healing technique).<br />
9 Tibetan gong therapy: a form of relaxation therapy in which gongs are played in a certain way.<br />
14
In homeopathy some gems have been proved 10 to be used as remedies. Dr P. Sankaran proved<br />
Diamond in the 1950’s in which the remedy was made of triturated diamond. The first<br />
proving of this gem stone was done by Dr. Fincke in 1879, the proving was conducted by just<br />
holding a large diamond in the prover’s hands.<br />
In 1994 Jeremy Sherr proved the diamond with a remedy made from diamond dust, in Peter<br />
Tumminello’s proving the remedy used was made of diamond immersion, in which the gem is<br />
not crushed but immerged in water and the water is then used to make the homeopathic<br />
remedy. Other gem stones like pearl, amethyst, and Lapis lazuli have been proved and used in<br />
the same way. There have also been meditative provings carried out on gem stones, from<br />
which the acquired information may be a little less acurate, and therefore considered to be less<br />
reliable by most homeopaths.<br />
10 The method used by homeopathic researchers to define the symptom profile of a particular substance. Most provings were done and<br />
recorded in the late 1800's, although in the last ten years many homeopathic researchers have begun proving new substances. Provings are a<br />
very specific type of research and usually follow a standard protocol.<br />
They are carried out in a number of ways depending on the type of homeopath carrying out the trial. This can involve anything from<br />
following Samuel <strong>Hahnemann</strong>’s strict protocol to a person taking the remedy and meditating on the effects.<br />
15
1d. Gem stones in homeopathy - common themes of gems as a collective<br />
Rare, special, beautiful and magic<br />
Stand apart from common substances, are very attractive. They are very hard to find.<br />
Durability, last very long.<br />
They served to heal and to protect from illness and associated with power, natural of psychic<br />
powers.<br />
Transformation and opposite forces<br />
They are product of transformation, appear when lower and common rocks become beautiful<br />
and magical.<br />
Opposing forces: the fire element is very important in all gem stones. Fire changes things in<br />
their basic form. Excess of energy = YANG; a lot of hot energy. It can bring about sudden<br />
changes. The opposite of this is the water element, feminine, sedentary; a breaking down<br />
process. YING: Water – Cold / YANG: Fire – Heat.<br />
Light and darkness:<br />
Light coming out of the darkness: come out of mess of minerals, come from deep places.<br />
Magic is in what they do with light. Gems are translucent.<br />
Irreconcilable forces and transmutation, completely opposite, how can they live together?<br />
Darkness and death VS Light – new awareness – letting of & rebirth<br />
The darkness of imprisonment; shackled by negativity, culture, relationship, situation. The<br />
person lives in the underworld.<br />
The results of a death experience - a journey through Hades (underworld of the psyche).<br />
Leaving something behind, letting go of something to make the change/transformation.<br />
Darkness = old patterns. Light new perspective, new way of looking at things.<br />
Darkness of old crystallized belief systems about self and the potential and light of a new<br />
perspective, new awareness.<br />
Most of gems > Light and < by the darkness.<br />
Go into darkness to find the light.<br />
Related to the journey into darkness<br />
Faith in the process of life, in the whole process: Low self – esteem, low confidence.<br />
Loss of faith is the deepest – deep lost of sense of the self.<br />
Faith in self = SELF – connection to spirit and the divine.<br />
Death of ego and exclusivity - Transition from ego to universal feeling – not exclusive, it is<br />
all connected. It means taking down the big egos.<br />
Result = New life, new self – giving birth and babies. (Signature for renewal after the death).<br />
There may be some greed and money- issues about wealth.<br />
16
Family & structure & relationships<br />
Minerals are elemental compounds in geometric and fixed relationships = Working<br />
relationships, class relationships, political relationships.<br />
Aluminum and Silica (are common in the gems). In the periodic table these are the primary<br />
substances for relationships and their development.<br />
Seamless bonding and integrity of relationships; highly developed in a healthy way.<br />
Relations bring order and structure in someone’s life.<br />
The issues around family alignments are mostly seen in the Amethyst, Golden topaz, Lapis<br />
lazuli, Black opal and Ruby.<br />
Order and perfection<br />
Uniform structure: they look for basics and structure in their lives; the search for the perfect<br />
order. Often perfectionism is an issue: “this is how I am supposed to be”.<br />
Believe systems that we have as human, family, religious.<br />
Animal/instinctual VS enlightened attitude<br />
What you want, deep inside feeling and what you are expected to do. They have a sense of<br />
being a very aware human being; a universal feeling, if you like.<br />
Violence, sexual energy, something like a very fix attitude, f.i racism and the other side is<br />
enlightened attitude about these things.<br />
They can go from one extreme of hate to a complete integrated relationship.<br />
Fever – Obsession – Passion<br />
Fever = obsession, passion, feel very deeply about something, usually something about<br />
themselves. It can eventually be turned around to something about the environment.<br />
They want to achieve something higher. There are high possibilities and leadership.<br />
1e. Common themes of the gem remedies psyche<br />
• Abusive, betrayal, violence and protection.<br />
• Search for beauty and perfection.<br />
• Boundaries and light, energetic boundaries – out of the body (Amethyst and Gold<br />
topaz) or grounded feeling.<br />
• Durability strength and hardness. (When you go through a big or difficult process you<br />
need to be strong).<br />
• Geometry order and structure. They are very structured people and sense of order,<br />
more than ordinary minerals. Geometric images, squares, triangles.<br />
• Heat and pressure (Diamonds and Rubies) in your life, sense of imprisonment and<br />
pressure feeling. Passion.<br />
• Serious and humorous or silly happening, completely letting go. Comic things.<br />
Humorous dreams, desire to play practical jokes on people. Even in very depressive<br />
remedies, black humor kinds. Situation is so heavy that is silly.<br />
• Imagery and symbolism: animals, faeces and toilets, flowers, volcanoes, gods, saints,<br />
masters and holy men, sun and the moon.<br />
• Intellect, memory, focus and concentration. Loss of memory (Diamond) or ability to<br />
focus and concentrate. (Ruby)<br />
17
• Generals relations to the periodic table:<br />
In general gems relate to series 3 and 4 in periodic table.<br />
The Silicum series are relation orientated, family and friends, communication, puberty<br />
and teenage years. Many gems contain Aluminum and Silicon.<br />
The Iron series are work, duty and task orientated, highly perfectionist. Other themes<br />
are routine, order and rules, as well as control. Task and control and being put to the<br />
test. All come out of a transformation process. These metals (Titanium to Cobalt)<br />
often taken up in the gems. Safire (Titanium) Ruby (Chromium) 11<br />
11 Peter Tumminello “Twelve Jewels”; Peter Tumminello’s seminar in The Hague 2005.<br />
18
Chapter 2<br />
2. Introduction to Lapis Lazuli<br />
2a. Physical properties of Lapis Lazuli and its chemical composition<br />
Lapis lazuli is a rock composed mainly of the following minerals:<br />
• Lazurite: Sodium Calcium Aluminum Silicate Sulfate Sulfide Chloride<br />
• Hauynite: Sodium Calcium Aluminum Silicate Sulfate<br />
• Sodalite: Sodium Aluminum Silicate Chloride<br />
• Noselite: Na 8(AlSiO4)6SO4?<br />
• Calcite: Calcium Carbonate<br />
• Pyrite: Iron Sulfide<br />
Lapis lazuli is a rock composed of a mixture of several different minerals including lazurite,<br />
huaynite, sodalite, noselite, calcite and pyrite. Diopside, augite, mica and hornblende may<br />
also be present in small amounts.<br />
Lapis lazuli usually occurs in crystalline lime stones as a result of contact metamorphism.<br />
Lapis lazuli is characteristically recognized by its colour. It yields H2S gas (smells of rotten<br />
eggs) when subjected to HCl. The presence of pyrite can distinguish natural lapis lazuli from<br />
many (but not all) of the lapis simulates.<br />
2b. Lapis Lazuli historical information and uses<br />
The name Lapis lazuli comes from the Persian word lazhward meaning blue, in allusion to its<br />
colour. In ancient times, lapis lazuli was known as sapphirus, which is the name that we use<br />
today for the blue corundum variety sapphire.<br />
Lapis lazuli has been highly valued for many thousands of years. The most famous locality<br />
for fine quality lapis lazuli is the same ancient deposit high in the mountains of Afghanistan<br />
where it was originally mined at least 6000 years ago. Lapis lazuli was often made into<br />
jewellery, carvings, amulets and talismans which were believed to have occult powers. It was<br />
19
used by the ancient Egyptians in many religious ceremonies, and was often used as an<br />
inscription stone for various passages from the Book of the Dead, most important being<br />
Chapter 26 th .<br />
Lapis lazuli was one of the stones in the 'Breastplate of Judgement' of Aaron, described in the<br />
Bible (Exodus: xxviii, 15-30). Lapis lazuli was said to dispel melancholy and depression, and<br />
to cure recurring fevers. It was also said to impart ancient knowledge, and the wisdom to use<br />
it.<br />
Up until the nineteenth century, Lapis Lazuli was ground up and mixed with oil to produce<br />
the deep blue-green pigment known as ultramarine which meant literally beyond the sea, as<br />
the Lapis Lazuli was brought from far away by ship. Since 1828, this pigment has been<br />
produced synthetically from a roasted mixture of kaolin clay, sodium sulphate and charcoal.<br />
Lapis Lazuli today is still a very popular lapidary material. It is made into a variety of handcrafted<br />
objects such as carvings, spheres, beads, cabochons and other jewellery items.<br />
Lapis Lazuli is imitated by a number of methods typically involving the use of dyes on a<br />
variety of natural rocks and synthetic materials. Sometimes dyes are used in combination with<br />
the crushing and reconstitution of lower grade Lapis Lazuli.<br />
2c. Lapis Lazuli and its metaphysical properties & healing powers<br />
Lapis lazuli is said to enhance one's awareness, insight and intellect. It is also said to impart<br />
ancient knowledge and wisdom, bringing peacefulness and self-acceptance. It helps people to<br />
rid themselves of influences of past situations that still cause trouble in the present. It liberates<br />
from compromises and restraint. It takes away fears and blockages of the emotional realm and<br />
helps to work through denial.<br />
Lapis Lazuli is said to help cure depression, insomnia, recurring fevers, vision and hearing<br />
problems, and disorders of the throat, lungs and immune system.<br />
It is also associated with self-confidence, truthfulness, openness and inner tranquillity.<br />
The astrological sign corresponding to Lapis Lazuli is the sign of Sagittarius. The qualities of<br />
Sagittarius include: change-loving he governs long-distance travel, matters of the higher mind<br />
(philosophy, religion and the law), cultural pursuits – and having a good time! It is a fire sign,<br />
so Sagittarians are positive, forthright communicators who love travelling – although you do<br />
tend to be restless and hate to take orders.<br />
2d. Links between stone and the trituration proving of Lapis Lazuli<br />
A cutter will make a face when cutting the Lapis Lazuli stone, because as soon as the stone<br />
comes into contact with the cutting wheel, it will emanate a typical, slightly foul smell. Many<br />
of the provers experienced strong and sharp smells during triturations and after, proving list of<br />
symptoms page 29.<br />
Lapis Lazuli was used in Egypt to write a few chapters of “The book of the Dead”. At higher<br />
levels of the triturations there were visions and associations with Egypt as well as death and<br />
the dead, proving list of symptoms page 34.<br />
20
Before it was possible to reproduce the ultramarine colour artificially the paint made of Lapis<br />
was used in many works of art. Many portraits of the Virgin Mary are coloured with this blue,<br />
for instance Raphael’s “Alba Madonna”. During the proving, after taken a few drops of Lapis<br />
Lazuli C40/4 the figure of the Virgin Mary appears in channelling sessions and songs, page<br />
65.<br />
The metaphysical properties of Lapis Lazuli according to gem therapy are associated with<br />
self-confidence, truthfulness, openness and inner tranquillity, as well as helping people to rid<br />
themselves of influences of past situations that still cause trouble in the present. It liberates<br />
from compromises and restraint. All of these things have been strongly experienced by many<br />
of the provers during or after the triturations.<br />
2e. A description of the components of Lapis Lazuli according to the periodic table<br />
The main component of Lapis Lazuli is lazurite (25 to 40 percent). Lazurite 12 is a<br />
feldspathoid 13 silicate mineral composed of sodium, aluminium, silicon, oxygen, sulphur and<br />
chlorine. Because these are the main components of this gem, we can assume that their<br />
properties, as described in the periodic table of Jan Scholten 14 , should be clearly found in the<br />
proving symptoms. If not all, at least some of the elements mentioned, to check this I have<br />
listed some of the themes and properties of these elements, at the end I present a short list of<br />
the themes I think should certainly be found in the trituration proving of Lapis Lazuli.<br />
rd<br />
Chloride (from Chlorum) Aluminum, Silicon, Sulphur all belong to the 3 series or the so<br />
called “Silicium series”.<br />
In this series the main themes are relationships, family, you and the other and the relationship<br />
between these two. Also language, communication, learning and playing, as well as<br />
presentation to the public are all present in this series. The teenage years are the time of life<br />
related to this series, which makes sense since puberty is the time when it is all about learning<br />
from relationships, with parents, friends, the time when we start gaining interest in the<br />
opposite sex and relations become the core of our lives. Also what others think of you and the<br />
image you present is important in those years. Learning and playing to learn in relationships<br />
are part of the formation of human teenagers.<br />
Muriatricums: Chlorum and Natrium Muriatricum<br />
Chlorum: the essence of this remedy is the idea that care and attention is all or nothing. They<br />
are hypersensitive to this. The slightest cause can make them scream and shout that nobody<br />
takes them into consideration. Their feeling is that nobody cares about them. The reality is<br />
that they need so much nurturing that other give up trying to fulfil their demands.<br />
The other side to this are the ones who never ask for any attention. The choice of this people<br />
is to manage them selves and deal with their own things.<br />
12 Lazurite is a popular but generally expensive mineral. Well-formed, deep blue crystals are rare and valuable. It is more commonly found<br />
massive and combined with other minerals into a rock called lapis lazuli. Class: Silicates. Group: both Sodalite and feldspathoids.<br />
13 The feldspathoids are not a typical mineral group like other mineral groups that are related by structure and chemistry. Their relation to<br />
each other is due primarily to their relationship to the feldspar group of minerals. Feldspathoids are low silica igneous minerals that would<br />
have formed feldspars if only more silica (SiO2) were present in the original magma. The aluminum to silicon ratio is nearly 1:1 in most of<br />
the feldspathoids but is closer to 1:3 in most of the feldspars. As would be predicted, feldspathoids are not found in igneous rocks that<br />
contain primary quartz.<br />
14 Jan Scholten “Homeopathy and Minerals”<br />
21
Chlorum is located at Stage 17 of the periodic, according to Luc de Schepper 15 , these elements<br />
have consumed themselves in the process of great, often misplaced activity. These are<br />
consumed with anger, irritability, indifference as well as morose and sad feelings.<br />
In the case of Chlorum this may mean that he has put all the effort on getting the attention he<br />
needs, and exhausting himself by doing so, not achieving his goal, he becomes irritated and<br />
angry as well as suffering from grief.<br />
Nat-m needing people can be very spontaneous and naïve, and initially cheerful. Because they<br />
tend to see things through pink glasses they are prone to big disappointments, giving room for<br />
grief and forgetting all about the happy times. Natriums are located in the first stages when<br />
learning to communicate and relate to others is still an issue, they are not very handy with<br />
relationships, and this usually leads to rejection and isolation after being hurt.<br />
They are alone, lonely, forsaken feeling and still wanting to be alone.<br />
Muriatricum also stands for mother.<br />
Physically we see mainly headaches, great thirst and emaciation. 16<br />
Aluminum<br />
The Stage 3 on the periodic table stands for alternating behaviour because of a struggle. There<br />
is apprehension about the future, a social struggle, difficult fitting in. There are feelings of<br />
guilt (anxiety as if a crime has been committed). They are sensitive to criticism. It is possible<br />
to see improved mental functions as well as confusion.<br />
In Alumina we see confusion of thoughts versus clarity. There is internal hurry and feeling of<br />
being hurried, at times with the sensation that time passes too slowly.<br />
In relations Alumina struggles with domination and a desire to be independent, this result in<br />
alternating behaviour. They can not free themselves from the chains of dependence.<br />
Physically we see general dryness and itch of the skin, problems with gastrointestinal tract,<br />
slow digestion and bloating.<br />
Silicon – Silicate – Silica element<br />
Silicates – which contain the Silica element, are all about family, image and timidity.<br />
Stage 10 of the periodic table, freshly formed ego, still unpolished (meaning that we be<br />
influenced), and narrowed perception of things, they can be quite stubborn. These are people<br />
hardened on the outside, still vulnerable on the inside. They are obstinate in their opinions but<br />
often do not share them to avoid hurting others or being criticised.<br />
They have fixed ideas of delusions. Intolerance of contradiction,<br />
We see varying degrees of haughtiness and egotism.<br />
15 Luc de Schepper “Homeopathy and the Periodic Table” Volume 1<br />
16 All lists physical symptoms from: Frans Vermeulen “Prisma – The Arcana of Materia Medica Iluminated”<br />
22
Physically we see tremendous chilliness, easy perspiration, very thirsty, suppuration,<br />
glandular affections and headaches.<br />
Sulphur<br />
Stage 16 of the periodic table is about the good old memories. It is about the loss of power<br />
and still remembering these times. The more power lost, the more compensation or<br />
acceptance is needed. If adaptation is impossible, life seems worthless, and one might as well<br />
commit suicide.<br />
There is a lack of reality; in order to be convincing about whom they are, still passionate is<br />
body and spirit. They have the delusions about still being in power. Theorizing about<br />
everything, about the power they imagine or remember, the influence wealth, respect, sexual<br />
powers. They act as if they still were in power, especially at home, with family.<br />
They tend to be antisocial, do not ever listen to anybody, they always want to be the centre of<br />
attention or complete outsiders.<br />
Sulphur focuses in religion and philosophy. He is still being great at this, wanting to invent<br />
the something special and being unique at this. Sulphur has clear ideas and is mostly selfsatisfied.<br />
Physically we see burning pains and sensations, many skin symptoms, slow, lazy and always<br />
tired. Sulphur desires sweets and spices.<br />
nd<br />
Oxygen belongs to the “Carbon series” or 2 series<br />
The carbon series are about “Ego”. The individual forming himself; it is about self-worth, Iweakness,<br />
lust and possessions. The age in which these elements of the personality are formed<br />
is childhood.<br />
Oxygen is located at Stage 16 in which decay is the main theme. The possible feeling of<br />
Oxygen at this stage is one of selfishness, being used and abused, feeling the victim,<br />
indignation and debt.<br />
According to Jan Scholten 17 , the issues of Oxygenium are around finding balance between<br />
taking and giving. They are afraid of losing their material things. It can be so extreme that<br />
they become greedy and avaricious. The opposite can be also true, complete indifference<br />
towards material goods.<br />
They feel they are worth it and others need to see this. Because of this, they tend to claim<br />
attention; they feel that they did not get what they deserve. If they do not get this, feel angry<br />
and insulted. If this goes any further, the feeling is that of being abused. They feel others have<br />
taken away a lot; they have lost their possessions or self-esteem. After this there may be an<br />
attitude of being the victim, they complain about everybody and feel they have been done<br />
wrong.<br />
17 Jan Scholten “Homeopathy and the Elements”<br />
23
th<br />
Iron and Calcium belong to the 4 series or the “Iron series”<br />
The main themes in the Iron series are task, work, duty, ability, perfectionism, order and rules,<br />
control, being observed and exams, failure, guilt, crime and being persecuted.<br />
Calcium stands at the second stage where being observed, questioned and evaluated are<br />
important. In Calcium we see especially many fears and anxieties, fear of being observed and<br />
timidity. It is a great deal for them what others think, they are insecure and very sensitive to<br />
criticism.<br />
Physically we see coldness, gland affections, heart problems, stomach problem and thyroid<br />
problems.<br />
Iron stands at eighth stage. At this stage force, struggle, concentration, endurance are some of<br />
the main themes. According to Luc de Schepper, this stage is about the struggle to establish a<br />
balanced ego. These are fighting, battling remedies. Delusion of being at war, alternating<br />
behaviour because of a struggle, apprehension about the future, social struggle, difficult fitting<br />
in. There is anxiety as if a crime had been committed, feelings of guilt. They are very<br />
sensitive to criticism.<br />
Physically we see hammering headaches, vomiting, and diarrhoea and circulation problems.<br />
If we assume that the contents of this gem give part of their characteristic to the remedy made<br />
of Lapis Lazuli we can expect problems related with the following:<br />
a. relationships and problems with these<br />
b. grief/disappointment and introspection<br />
c. need for attention, forsaken feeling<br />
d. instability – alternating states<br />
e. ego problems<br />
f. religion, philosophy, spirituality<br />
g. feeling of being used or abused<br />
h. difficulty with sharing things<br />
i. battling and struggling, possible feelings of guilt<br />
The most prominent physical symptoms that we in these elements are:<br />
j. coldness – heat - circulation<br />
k. skin problems – dryness and itch<br />
l. gland affections<br />
m. headaches<br />
n. thirst<br />
It is though very important to remember that even if Lapis Lazuli is made of these elements,<br />
the combination and the presence of these elements in the stone are unique and therefore<br />
should also be able to produce other unique and specific symptoms for this stone. A more<br />
detail analysis of this can be found throughout the proving data and under the chapter about<br />
“Differential Diagnosis”.<br />
24
Chapter 3<br />
3. The trituration proving of Lapis Lazuli in the Netherlands<br />
3a. The conduction of the trituration<br />
The trituration of Lapis Lazuli was conducted under the lead and supervision of Alize<br />
Timmerman from December 2004 until June 2005 in The Hague, the Netherlands.<br />
The proving was conducted with a group of about 20 provers, 19 women and just 1 man, ages<br />
28 to 58 years. The substance was unknown to all provers up to the fourth trituration except<br />
for the supervisor and the Institute assistants, provers 6, 15 and 18. Prover 3 knew from<br />
intuition what the substance was but did not share it with anyone until it was made public.<br />
The first trituration of the proving was conducted on December 8 th 2004, the second one took<br />
place on January 26 th , the third on February 1 st , the fourth on March 16 th 2005 and the fifth<br />
trituration took place on April 1 st 2005. In May of 2005 some of the provers also took a single<br />
dose of Lapis Lazuli C40/4, see page 61. Not all the provers did all the triturations for<br />
different reasons, the main one seemed to be some sort of fear for what was about to come,<br />
which was not usual in other triturations.<br />
Some of the provers chose to start or finish some of the triturations at home (Prover 1, 2, 3,<br />
16, 17, 19). After every trituration we would have group meetings in which all the<br />
experiences were shared.<br />
The method used in this proving was that of trituration, there are four levels and we take one<br />
hour to triturate each level. This is done like described by <strong>Hahnemann</strong> in his Organon. See<br />
reference 18.<br />
C1 represents the physical level, C2 the mental level, C3 the emotional level, C4 the<br />
individual spiritual level and C5 the collective spiritual level or archetypical level. The<br />
experience teaches us that the symptoms produced at each level are not always just the one<br />
corresponding to that level; it is likely that most provers produced physical symptoms at other<br />
levels, not just at the C1 level. The same applies for instance to symptoms of emotional nature<br />
that can appear at the C1 level. It is also interesting to see that often physical symptoms are<br />
accompanied by emotions.<br />
The goal of such trituration provings it is not only to make your own good quality remedies as<br />
<strong>Hahnemann</strong> encouraged us to us in his Organon 18 , but also to connect directly with the energy<br />
of the substance by engaging in a meditative way of trituration, doing it in a group is said to<br />
enhance the resonance with the substance and with each other, which means that the<br />
symptoms and sensations are experienced more clearly or strongly. It is believed that this way<br />
you enhance the perception of yourself and the environment and that, just like a regular<br />
proving, this kind of practices can bring about healing. In some cases some spectacular<br />
healing processes take place, like some old masters in homeopathy have experienced as well<br />
in the past 19 . The special thing about this method is that you do not stop at the third trituration<br />
18 Samuel <strong>Hahnemann</strong> “Organon der geneeskunst” aforism 264 – 271 “Making the remedies”<br />
19 Jeremy Sherr, “The Dynamics and methodology of homeopathic provings” page 68-69<br />
25
or C3, like <strong>Hahnemann</strong> 20 did with the non soluble substances, you go one step further, to the<br />
C4 in which you connect with still unknown spiritual information of the substance. This level<br />
touches the individual plane of spirituality; the C5 brings about a collective experience or as it<br />
is called the archetypical 21 information of a substance. The existence of this “collective<br />
knowledge” as Jung 22 described it, has not only been confirmed by Jeremy Sherr during his<br />
<strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian provings but also by more contemporary provers like one of the pioneers of<br />
the C4- homeopathy Jürgen Becker or Rajan Sankaran himself 23 .<br />
These kind of triturations are usually done in a silent, meditative way, even though in this<br />
case we also took the chance to paint, which was a beautiful experience because in this way<br />
we created a situation in which we could interact with each other under influence of the<br />
substance, giving us a much better inside in the feelings and sensations of this remedy. One of<br />
the most striking things that came up was about territories and boundaries, the feeling that<br />
someone could go over these with no respect awoke a lot of anger and irritation, all of these<br />
elements come back repeatedly in the proving. The “conflict” was mainly going on between<br />
provers 7 and 15, the rest were mostly spectators with an opinion about what was going on.<br />
Proving list of symptoms, pages 30, 35 & 38.<br />
20 Samuel <strong>Hahnemann</strong>“Organon der geneeskunst” Dutch version of the 6 th edition, page 149<br />
21 Archetypical: representing or constituting an original type after which other similar things are patterned; "archetypal patterns"; It also<br />
means subconscious collective information of the human race.( www.answers.com)<br />
22 The collective unconscious is a part of the unconscious mind common to all humans. According to Carl Jung, the collective unconscious<br />
contains archetypes, universal mental predispositions not grounded in experience. (http://skepdic.com/collectiveun.html)<br />
23 Jeremy Sherr, “The Dynamics and methodology of homeopathic provings” page 33<br />
26
3b. Classification of symptoms in the trituration proving<br />
Disadvantages in this kind of trituration proving affecting the symptom classification<br />
As soon as it was decided that I was going to work on this proving as my graduation work I<br />
read Sherr’s book about the methodology of the provings and I consulted the proving<br />
guidelines of the “European Council of Classical Homeopathy (ECCH)” 24 . I soon realized that<br />
those proving guidelines are written for the so called “<strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian provings” in which a lot<br />
of things are taken in consideration before accepting a prover into a proving.<br />
Unfortunately the set up for this trituration only met a few of the requests on which a proving<br />
is considered reliable. These were that the group had between 10-20 provers, that there were<br />
no pregnant women of lactating women participating and old the provers were older than 18<br />
years and the group was formed with people from different backgrounds and professions, not<br />
all of them being homeopaths or students of homeopathy.<br />
The probably most important requests that are not met are the fact that every one’s medical<br />
history was and is still unknown to me, that a big number of those provers were receiving<br />
homeopathic treatment at the time of the triturations.<br />
It is thus necessary to consider that the methodology of these types of provings is different to<br />
the trituration ones and therefore is it very difficult to classify the symptoms according to the<br />
“official method”.<br />
Sherr gives us a list of guidelines 25 to include symptoms which unfortunately I am afraid I can<br />
not use consistently since it if often unknown whether the symptoms are old, new, cured or<br />
altered. Only a few of the provers mention this in their texts. It is a fact that these provers did<br />
not use the official guidelines for keeping and registering their symptoms, even though a list<br />
of these was mailed beforehand. I would imagine that the reason for this is that these provers<br />
all have families, jobs, studies and even pets to take care of. The symptoms, from which this<br />
information is known, have been classified accordingly.<br />
Another disadvantage in this kind of trituration proving is that often modalities are not<br />
mentioned, because sometimes they are just not visible or are discovered by coincidence.<br />
There is also the fact to be considered that some provers did not know if what they were<br />
experiencing was due to their treatments or circumstances in their lives. The supervisor did<br />
provide some guidance in these matters but since the time was limited not everyone got to be<br />
screened before, during and after the proving.<br />
General advantages that come out of this kind of trituration provings<br />
There is some time and quietness to really go into the substance and experience the<br />
symptoms, this can last for just the trituration times or can be there for days, even weeks.<br />
It gives the prover the chance to know the remedy really well because you get to experience<br />
the deepest insides of it, which can be very helpful for the prescribing practitioner. These<br />
24 http://www.homeopathy-ecch.org/content/view/24/41/<br />
25 Jeremy Sherr, The dynamics and methodology of homeopathic provings, p 70-72<br />
27
experiences can be healing and helpful to everyone willing to experience them and embrace<br />
them fully.<br />
It creates a bond with the group since you are constantly sharing the most intimate<br />
experiences, even those of spiritual or religious character. It can create a sense of togetherness<br />
and sympathy that is not possible when the provers are not in touch with each other, like it is<br />
requested by the official proving guidelines.<br />
3c. Classification of the symptoms<br />
As I have just mentioned above it is very difficult to classify these symptoms according to the<br />
official guidelines. What I have done instead is translate all the symptoms given to me by the<br />
provers. I have included almost all of those symptoms in this work. The reason why I have<br />
done this is because as I started classifying the symptoms I realised that there were hardly any<br />
symptoms showing that were outrageous or seemed to make no sense at all. All the symptoms<br />
I have come across have either a strong resemblance or connection to the general themes of<br />
gem stone remedies as described by Peter Tumminello 26 , or show a strong resemblance to the<br />
components of the gem Lapis Lazuli as described in the previous chapter.<br />
Therefore I have no reason to doubt that the symptoms are genuine and belong to the<br />
substance we were triturating. Another confirmation is the fact that all of the provers<br />
experienced very similar things, sometimes experienced literally the same. Other loose<br />
symptoms experienced by some provers where also included in the list, only time can teach us<br />
whether these are part of the proving or not, as again Sherr states in his book 27<br />
3d. Following order of lists of symptoms<br />
The mental symptoms are the first ones you find in the next pages. The mental/emotional<br />
symptoms have been grouped under main themes. The main themes are chosen according to<br />
the different mental symptoms and are mention with prover number and level of trituration<br />
beside each symptom. The choice not to translate the mental symptoms into rubrics is meant<br />
for keeping the symptoms as intact as possible and easier to understand. Peter Tumminello<br />
also uses this theme method in his book “Twelve Jewels”. The physical symptoms have been<br />
grouped under the corresponding body part and translated into rubrics as seen in the Synthesis<br />
repertory and Frans Vermeulen’s “Concordant Materia Medica”. A list with the proving<br />
dreams has been added right before a brief explanation of the C5-level linking it to the fairy<br />
tale “Sleeping Beauty”. The C5-level has only been summarized with those symptoms that<br />
give a deeper or broader understanding of the remedy. I have not listed again all the other<br />
symptoms that have been widely described in the first for levels of the triturations. For<br />
instance symptoms like ice coldness, violent anger and etcetera. The last information given is<br />
about the symptoms produced after taking a single dose of Lapis Lazuli C40/4, potentized by<br />
the provers themselves on May 11 th 2005.<br />
26 Peter Tumminello, “Twelve Jewels” p. 1-11<br />
27 Jeremy Sherr, The dynamics and methodology of homeopathic provings, p. 68- 69<br />
28
After that a summary of the proving classified by trituration level as well as a small<br />
summarized text between the mental and physical symptoms has been added. A few sentences<br />
describing the essence of the remedy have also been added to this summary.<br />
3e. Mind Symptoms<br />
MIND – THEMES and related symptoms to the themes<br />
Wild animals & territories – Instinct – Acute Senses – Nature<br />
* Awakened instincts, feeling of being an animal with acute senses, shaper vision and<br />
hearing. Sensation and need to break from human bonds. Freedom of wild animals, no<br />
borders, like in nature*<br />
• A lion – I felt more animal than human. I could not think like a person. I could<br />
experience moistness, the sun on the skin. I tried to rationalize it and it did not work. I<br />
could only see a big gray mass, no shape. I had lost the human sight on things. I<br />
checked twice in the mirror to see if I was really a lion. (11/C1)<br />
• I can smell stronger and vision is sharp. (17/C1)<br />
• I saw wolves walking, there is an interesting conflict going on with the painting,<br />
people talk of having no boundaries and at the same time you come there in the<br />
territory, space and border by arguing about it. In territories there is always a border.<br />
(9/C2)<br />
• People do not belong in cities, but in nature like animals. Animal necessity of breaking<br />
links and bonds. (13/C3)<br />
• Delusions of smell peppermint, camphor, trees, fruit, sweet smells, burned coffee,<br />
fresh soap, gasoline. (1/C3 5/C4, 1/C1, 3/C2, 17/C1, 8/C2)<br />
Alternating moods – Changing states – Contradictions<br />
* Some sort of emotional instability is experienced. Often joy, alternates with either anger or<br />
sadness, sometimes both, also contradictory states*<br />
• Strongly going from anger to the humoristic side of this remedy. (6/C1)<br />
• I feel like a yo-yo; one minute I am happy, the next very sad, melancholic without<br />
reason. I wish death. (7/C1)<br />
• I was feeling good after clearing up the house, in an instant enormous argument with<br />
partner even though I felt love. There was a quick shift in my moods. (16/C1)<br />
• After anger and being goofy, teasing, I keep on singing the song it my head “Let it be<br />
love”. (1/C2)<br />
• Irritation and then laughing. (3/C2)<br />
• The fear and anxiety are gone, now I feel good, relaxed, and happy and free. (3/C2)<br />
• Hyperactivity alternating with dullness. (2/C3)<br />
• Everything feels opposite. I can either take everything or nothing. (8/C3)<br />
• I am either cautious or not at all. (8/C3)<br />
• I feel all these contradictions. Calmness and serenity VS Sadness. Contradictions in<br />
my life, do not know whether I should go right or left. (12/C3)<br />
• Being – not being / Indifference – strong feelings. (2/C4)<br />
• Quiet and relaxed # Chaos and not being able to concentrate. (12/C4)<br />
29
• Depressed # light feeling. (12/C4)<br />
30
Bullying – fights – teenage years – doing forbidden things – feeling of injustice/borders<br />
* There is a feeling of being teased, bullied, not understood, the way things go is unfair.<br />
There is a feeling of someone crossing the line and this leading to anger. Some of the provers<br />
associate this with puberty *<br />
• I see a 4-6 year old, he is doing something that his mother disapproves and he is<br />
laughing about it. I did it and you did not even see it! (3/C1)<br />
• I think of puberty, I know how everything is! (5/C1)<br />
• I get angry with my mother, enormously angry, I yell. She is not reasonable, it is all<br />
unfair. She does not get it! It makes me think of puberty. (7/C1)<br />
• Fights and arguments with teenage sons. (7/C1)<br />
• The feeling of injustice leads to anger. (14/C1)<br />
• I see images of the past, situations in which I was very angry, it all had to do with<br />
crossing the line, the border, the limit. I feel the anger boiling in me. It is violent but I<br />
know where it comes from, I am not clear; I let it happen. (17/C1)<br />
• I have a goofy feeling. I feel goofy, I tease my husband. (1/C2)<br />
• Teasing and suppressed aggression is how I experience the painting issue. Anger<br />
because someone crossed the line. (4/C2)<br />
• Feeling of being bullied, teased with almost physical pain, I observe, wait until they<br />
cross the line, I do not know what I am going to do if they do cross the line, when I<br />
see that does not happen I relax and start to see it differently, I can let go. (7/C2)<br />
• There is something I do not like, do not want to follow the group, I do not want to<br />
resist, but participating is difficult. From resisting, I think of war. (7/C3)<br />
• I want to make noise, fart, I feel childish, 12-13 years old. (17/C3)<br />
Inner dark side – goals<br />
* There is the feeling of being drawn to your own dark side, to the that you would not want to<br />
see, those things that your gladly ignore about yourself. It seems that from ignoring the dark<br />
side the goal in life is not visible*<br />
• Something hard, strong, is drawing me from the inside. Something wants to come out<br />
of me but it cant, something takes me to the inside; I feel almost breathless, almost sad<br />
but calm. I feel as if I was pushed into a big, dark inner side. (10/C3)<br />
• I feel like this trituration is a conversation with my inner self. At some point in the<br />
conversation I understood one half and then got headache on the third eye area,<br />
between eye brows. It is about the things that clash in my life. It all feels very heavy.<br />
(12/C3)<br />
• It feels like there is a protected wholeness, can not get to the essence or the goal. It<br />
feels it is almost there. (13/C3)<br />
Death – cemeteries – ghosts – associations with the elderly and terminal patients<br />
* Death and dying associated with the elderly, terminal patients, and cold places, lean people<br />
and bones, all death symbols. Delusions of seeing dead people, grave and dying. Death seen<br />
as a transformation process*<br />
• I see ghosts in black gowns. (1/C1)<br />
31
• Feeling of a dark energy. (1/C1)<br />
• Feeling as if I was in a horror film, sod off! (1/C1)<br />
• I see a cemetery; it feels like I am digging a grave. (1/C1)<br />
• I see a cemetery (4/C1), cemetery and coldness. (4/C1) (16/C3)<br />
• I feel quiet inside; I quietly look death in the eyes. (4/C1)<br />
• Remedy for old people; terminal patients. Some sort of transformation from one fase<br />
to the other. To help terminal people accept death. (4/C1) (17/C3)<br />
• My dad said: you look terrible, like dead. (4/C1)<br />
• I feel dead, also mentally but it does not scare me, it is not negative. (4/C1)<br />
• Presentiment of death, but it did not bother me. (6/C1).<br />
• I wish death. (7/C1) (17/C3)<br />
• I see old people all over. I think they are lonely. I am afraid of getting old. (7/C1)<br />
• Death – people of the world in a circle, hand in hand, Hallelujah. A huge iron plate,<br />
surrounded by grass crashes all the people, some came crawling out as if nothing had<br />
happened. The feeling is: ok we are going to die, come from down under and go on.<br />
(11/C1)<br />
• I had images of Auschwitz (in snow and cold). (15/C1)<br />
• Transformation. (1/C2)<br />
• Dead feeling. (8/C2)<br />
• Dying from coldness. (hypothermia?) (19/C2)<br />
• I think of my grandma, aunt, uncle, they are all dead. (3/C3)<br />
• I think of death after have seen very big, gigantic trees, mother earth. This remedy<br />
follows BEECH. (3/C3)<br />
• I wonder what I am doing on earth; wish to be on the other side. (3/C3)<br />
• I do not feel depressed and in fact I do not wish death, but I just felt so good on the<br />
other side, on top of the mountain. I was not down here then, I was up there and it felt<br />
good. (3/C3)<br />
• A friend of mine had an operation; he is probably going to die. It touches me<br />
enormously. This means another good-bye. (16/C3)<br />
• The material world is too heavy; I can not get through it. I want to be up there, in the<br />
spiritual world, a world with no thoughts. This life is too much for me. I want to be up<br />
there. (17/C3)<br />
• I feel I need to say good-bye to this world. (17/C3)<br />
• I feel like letting go, do not want to be on earth. I want to go, away from this earth, I<br />
have seen too much already. (1/C4)<br />
• I yearn for music to help me float away from here. (1/C4)<br />
• After a while I feel as if I was gone, I get lighter all the time, thinner as if I was<br />
dissolving. I come back and wonder where I am. I realize I am back, this is my destiny<br />
and it feels heavy. (17/C3) (1/C4)<br />
• I need to do my best to be here, have the feeling that I can “slip away” anytime; after<br />
this enormous grief and need to cry intensely. (1/C4)<br />
• I think of dead people and the way they lived. (5/C4)<br />
• Passing on to the next world through death. (15/C4) (17/C4)<br />
• Sadness, I do not want to die, I want to live. (17/C4)<br />
• Dementia, death, death of my own dad. Lean and bones. (20/C4)<br />
32
Detachment – Indifference – Soberness – Recklessness<br />
* A sense of detachment, indifference, like nothing matters anymore, not caring anymore.<br />
There is a strong feeling of being unmoved by things, no feeling of any kind. Emotional<br />
coldness*<br />
• I leave the house and leave the heaters on. I do not usually do that, learned from my<br />
dad to be cautious but today I just do not care. (3/C1)<br />
• I have been taking distance. I had to get away from it all. I knew things and that was<br />
enough.<br />
• I have been detaching from reality. It is a sober feeling. (9/C1)<br />
• Sober – that you do not get taken over by the feeling or emotion (10/1)<br />
• I could dose the news about the Tsunami very well, could cry when TV on, but I could<br />
go on easily when it was off. (11/C1)<br />
• I feel sober, very manly, a farmer man. (11/C1)<br />
• I felt some sort of soberness. (12/1)<br />
• Seeing the grief around me does not move me, I just perceive it. (17/C1)<br />
• Things go wrong at work, it is very busy but it does not affect me. (1/C2)<br />
• I feel neutral, nothing specific. (3/C2)<br />
• Trance like feeling – neutral feeling – detached from reality – things around appear<br />
vague. (3/C2)<br />
• Neutral feeling about death. (3/C2)<br />
• Emptiness that feels nice. (19/C2) (17/C3) (1/C4) (2/C4)<br />
• Dimmed emotions, untouchable. (19/C2)<br />
• Neutral meditative feeling, trance. (3/C3)<br />
• Do not feel like dressing up, do not care what other think, this feels good to me. (7/C3,<br />
17/C2)<br />
• I feel that I am in a different dimension, I do not relate to others. Cannabis feeling,<br />
every one is theorizing. (18/C3)<br />
• Feeling of distance and death. (2/C4)<br />
• I feel indifferent, detached. (2/C4)<br />
• Neutral feeling, walking on a golden aisle to the other world. (3/C4)<br />
• Deep indifference, it does not do me anything. (17/C4)<br />
• No connection with the environment. I am fine alone. (17/C4)<br />
Different dimensions – wider view (C3/C4)<br />
* In a deeper level the pain of experiencing things as unfair not being understood and others<br />
crossing the line, transforms into the possibility to see things from a wider perspective, a<br />
different point of view. It is about seeing without borders*<br />
• This remedy gives us the energy to see that facts and reality can change real quickly.<br />
People can experience different truths and that is why there is separation and<br />
arguments. People relate to truth and injustice, just like kids feels it is not fair! (15/C3)<br />
• Cruel dreams are not cruel in a different dimension. The time and culture define this.<br />
The cruelty can be normal in another culture of time. Living in different dimensions<br />
produces grief. (18/C3)<br />
33
• Having the feeling of wanting to be up there and not down here. (3/C3) (17/C3)<br />
• I want to go to other dimensions, for this I need to let go. I do not want to be on earth.<br />
(1/C4)<br />
• Feeling of being in the eternal mountain world, on a snowy mountain top, looking<br />
down the world. I have an overview. I am above of the people’s non-sense. Feeling of<br />
eternity. (5/C4)<br />
• Der Untergang. There was no overview; those people were too deep into it. (7/C4)<br />
• I am so far across the borders that I do not even see the earth. It is not fair how people<br />
cheat each other, everyone does it. (13/C4)<br />
Ego – selfishness – a way to deal with your pain (C3/C4)<br />
* Again in a deeper level we find that to have a wider view and being able to see further than<br />
your own perspective you need to let go of your ego. Selfishness seems to be a way to protect<br />
balance your extreme feelings and to help you carry what might be unbearable otherwise*<br />
• I have had quick thoughts about what selfishness really is. A few years ago a patient<br />
died in my practice while doing her follow up. The remedy had done her well, felt<br />
very happy, realized. Back then, when she died I was not sad and I was angry at<br />
myself for not being sad. I was sad for her husband and children but not for her. Later<br />
I understood why I did not feel the sadness. That was a logical time for her to die. We<br />
people have an aversion of situation of others. We have a problem ourselves, sadness<br />
about someone who has died, we only really feel our own sadness but project it into<br />
the death of that person; feelings that you reuse through the others. This stabilizes our<br />
extreme feelings. (15/C3)<br />
• Association of the angry sea with violent waves. Young boys who are disobedient or<br />
even almost hard, seem to have no feelings. This rebellious feeling is where the pain<br />
hides. Young boys have the strength to do it like this. (15/C3)<br />
• I do not want to prove myself, I am ok like this. It is the horrible egos to which I need<br />
to prove myself. (1/C4)<br />
• You can all have the EGO- existence, it is fine by me, and I am gone! I feel sad but<br />
proud. (1/C4)<br />
• As I walk down the golden aisle I ask myself. Did I learn enough? I got the feeling<br />
that this does not touch me, move me. What is the opposite of this? That everything<br />
comes in goes through you. Give and take. Selfishness can be harmful but also<br />
healthy. You do not need to miss anything, what you need will be provided.<br />
• I see a farao, the Queen Nefertiti and a slave, I ask myself, who is privileged? The one<br />
who can forget his ego. In reality it is all the same, you have to walk the golden aisle<br />
by yourself. (3/C4)<br />
34
Egypt<br />
• You lose awareness and overview when you get stuck in your ego. To be able to walk<br />
down the golden aisle, you have to grow. Growing comes from overview, a wider<br />
perspective. (3/C4)<br />
• This remedy is for people who have lost their wide perspective because of their ego,<br />
therefore being unable to see from other perspectives. The opposite is too little ego,<br />
therefore not feeling understood what leads to grief. The solution to this is being able<br />
to see from ALL the perspectives. (3/C4)<br />
• When do we need EGO? It all has to do with boundaries. Boundaries do not exist, but<br />
you can only understand this when you can let go of your ego. (3/C4)<br />
• Why do not we get to know things? Is our ego in the way? (7/C4)<br />
• People are beautiful in the way we try to strive for truth, reaching the BEING state.<br />
(7/C4)<br />
* Egypt associated with death and a passage to the after life. Another way to see the<br />
transformation process*<br />
• Smell of old rags, like from the pyramids. (17/C1)<br />
• I see Egypt, an oasis in the dessert. I see the orange sky and Nefertiti’s head. I have a<br />
neutral feeling. It feels like the passage to the other world. I walk in a golden aisle,<br />
going somewhere but the aisle does not seem to end. (3/C4)<br />
• Dry skin associated with mummies. (17/C4)<br />
• I had something with Egypt. (18/C4)<br />
Excitement – joy – feeling happy<br />
*Feeling of happiness and thankfulness. Feeling understood*<br />
• I get a little pile of this blue stuff in the mortar. It looks very beautiful. I feel excited, I<br />
am curious about the result of this trituration. (3/C1)<br />
• I feel this excitement (in the stomach). Then I feel that my bladder is full and that I<br />
might pee myself from the excitement. (3/C1)<br />
• I see a group of children at some park, playing with a ball. They throw the ball in the<br />
air and then I see the sky. I see the clear, blue sky. I have happy thoughts. (3/C1)<br />
• I feel happy and open, intense conversations. I feel that my conversation partners<br />
understand exactly what I mean. (5/C1)<br />
• I feel excited, surprised of how beautiful the color blue is. (17/C1)<br />
• I feel good. (17/C1)<br />
• Gay and happy feeling, I feel thankful to be able to experience this. (1/C2) (7/C4)<br />
• I think of color times, happy times. I feel happy thinking of the past a lot, I see<br />
pictures of my family and me, old pictures. (2/C2)<br />
• Smiling, sensation of happiness. (3/C2)<br />
• Excited, want to get on with painting and do not want to be stopped in this. (7/C2)<br />
• I feel happy, happy that I got the information I got about the ego. (3/C4)<br />
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Fear – anxiety, of the intensity of the symptoms, feeling of threat with anger<br />
* Violent fears and anxieties for what it is about to come. There is a fear of the intensity of it<br />
and not being able to handle it or cope with it, most of these fears are felt in the stomach or<br />
abdomen*<br />
• Fear, I walk back and forth, I feel like a caged animal. (1/C1)<br />
• I feel threatened, as if the powder was going to attack me. (1/C1)<br />
• On the day of the trituration very anxious before I came to the meeting. I felt the fear<br />
in the abdomen. (12/C1)<br />
• I am afraid of finishing the trituration, I am afraid of my own anger and violent<br />
explosions. (17/C1)<br />
• Anxious, fearful, something is going to happen, somebody is going to die, it is<br />
someone I care about.(3/C2)<br />
• Something needs to explode, meteorite, fireball with a feeling of being attacked.<br />
(7/C2)<br />
• Anticipation fear, fear of the future, I feel it in the stomach. I do not know how to do<br />
things in the future; I do not know what is going to bring me. (13/C2)<br />
• Fear of the trituration. (15/C3) Fear of the trituration and that is why does not do it.<br />
(16/C3)<br />
• I have very anxious premonitions when I get up and it stays with me the whole day.<br />
My abdomen hurts because of this. (16/C3)<br />
• Fear associated with good-byes, death and transformation. (16/C3)<br />
• Danger comes from an unexpected corner. (18/C3)<br />
• Fear of triturating the C5 level, I am afraid of losing the good feeling, the knowledge,<br />
afraid something bad will come. (3/C4)<br />
• I am afraid, it is a deep fear of existence, and this goes to fast for me. (7/C4)<br />
Freedom from time, material things, bonds, ties and guilt<br />
* Breaking loose from everything. Being able to be free from boundaries, time, material<br />
things and eventually guilt*<br />
• Freedom from material things. Connection with the soul, spirit. (3/C2)<br />
• Freedom, breaking loose feeling. Freedom in relation to material things. (3/C2)<br />
• Blue butterflies, sensation of freedom – I paint this on the wall. (3/C2)<br />
• Feeling of freedom after painting, I am done! (3/C2)<br />
• I feel free and happy. (3/C2)<br />
• Allowing yourself to feel things, gives u freedom. (3/C2)<br />
• Time has to go; universe has a timeless existence. (15/C2)<br />
• Animal necessity of breaking bonds and ties. Do not feel attached to rules, anti-social.<br />
I want to be free, a drifter, being free means being strong. (13/C3)<br />
• Blaming each other is the way to get the freedom; it gives you the answer and the<br />
solution. Like terminal patients blaming the environment. It is needed to get the<br />
freedom to go. (15/C4)<br />
• Something with prejudices and blaming others, I do not know what. It is so heavy that<br />
you do not know if you can go on with it yourself. First negative prejudices, and then<br />
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something beautiful. Blaming is necessary to come out of something and see that it<br />
can be the solution. (20/C4)<br />
Forgetfulness – not concentrated<br />
* There is a feeling of not being able to concentrate, forgetfulness and word hunting*<br />
• I forget things I usually do automatically, like taking the shopping box for the<br />
groceries. (5/C1)<br />
• I have a vague feeling. Very forgetful. (12/C1)<br />
• Looking for the right words when speaking. (12/C1)<br />
• I had things in my head and then I lost them in 3 seconds. Gone! (12/C1)<br />
• I do not remember how to triturate, that is why I postpone the trituration. (19/C1)<br />
• I can not concentrate, difficult to remember names, though all over the place. (19/C1)<br />
• I can not concentrate at work, feel absent, weary; it lasts for about a week. (1/C2)<br />
• Wandering thoughts. (2/C2) (7/C4)<br />
• I can not concentrate of the trituration, I am distracted. (3/C2)<br />
• It is difficult to stay with one subject. (7/C4)<br />
• Chaos, I forget everything. No thoughts – Mind is Blanc. (13/C4)<br />
Hard and heavy – too much going on – trying to ignore reality<br />
* The symptoms are so violent and the emotions so intense that there is a feeling of it all<br />
being really hard and heavy to handle, being to much and therefore trying to ignore it is there<br />
or suppressing it *<br />
• Already all these symptoms, oh jeez, how violent! My God, can I take it? (1/C1)<br />
• I do not want to bother anyone; I have to solve things myself. At the end I call<br />
someone and spit it all out. I can not handle it all by myself, it is too much. After this I<br />
sleep for 2 nights straight since a couple of months. (7/C1)<br />
• It feels heavy, stuck; slow. (19/C1)<br />
• Heavy and tired feeling with the grief. The grief is too much, too heavy. (1/C3)<br />
• Heavy and tired feeling. (6/C3)<br />
• Heavy, have to triturate with both hands. (6/C3)<br />
• There is too much going on, it is so much, it does not stop, it feels like I can not tell or<br />
my head shall explode. (11/C3)<br />
• The unbearable being helped by a drug produced in our bodies. I feel the childish<br />
element of not understanding the cruelties of humanity and being relieved by the<br />
thought of this drug. There is a feeling that there is no solution, just an illusion that<br />
there is. I feel resistance to go into the illusion. If the must not go too deep into the<br />
emotion, the way should be opened to a bigger wholeness but that is an escape,<br />
suppression and so we should not leave the pain and inflicted pain behind to make it<br />
easier!! (15/C3)<br />
• A friend is going to die, the pain he suffers is horrible and his death means another<br />
good-bye, this all feels like it is too much for me. I meditate after this and feel a bit<br />
calmer. (16/C3)<br />
• The material world is too heavy; I can not get through it. I want to be up there, in the<br />
spiritual world, a world with no thoughts. This life is too much for me. I want to be up<br />
there. (17/C3)<br />
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• Life is very heavy, not physically but emotionally heavy. (17/C3)<br />
ICE COLD - Associations with glass, ice, snow – blue, dark blue<br />
* Extreme ice cold, not only physically but also mentally and emotionally, these translate to<br />
indifference and wishing death. The strongest associations to cold and ice in color is blue *<br />
• Beautiful blue color, as if there was some glass. (1/C1)<br />
• The mortar looks like skating field, the powder of all the skates that have gone over it,<br />
trituration sounds like skating on ice. I think of the past, on the ice field.<br />
• Cold, winter cold, it is nice. Cold makes me think of the film “Snow Queen”. She lives<br />
in an ice castle. (2/C1)<br />
• It is very cold outside and that is why I do not feel like going out. I can not sleep at<br />
night, because I am so cold. (3/C1)<br />
• Dark blue and black. (4/C1)<br />
• Ice age. (8/C1)<br />
• I had images of Auschwitz in snow in cold, ice cold mind to think that up. It was a big<br />
plan. (15/C1)<br />
• I see images of winters in the past; snow and ice. I feel sorry that those winters are not<br />
there, maybe in the next life, it feels comforting. (2/C2).<br />
• Blue is beautiful, blue waves, the sea, water. (3/C2)<br />
• Hail, cold, still and cold world. I see lines of people walking through the snow. I find<br />
it painful and close my eyes. (2/C4)<br />
• Feeling very cold, also mentally. (15/C4)<br />
• Deep sea, floating. (13/C4)<br />
• Northern cold. White and snow. (15/C4)<br />
• Cold in needed to be in quietness. Cold is needed to make the transformation. (15/C4)<br />
• Dr Zhivago – deep love that comes out of coldness. The coldness is needed to reach<br />
the deeper love. Coldness develops strength through cold and winter sleep. Gathering<br />
energy to be able to come out of the cold. (15/C4)<br />
• I feel frozen inside, like there is nothing. (17/C4)<br />
• Cold and going on, a transformation that is needed to gather strength and grow.<br />
Feeling cold and loneliness. (20/C4)<br />
• Northern, cold countries. (20/C4)<br />
Introspection<br />
* Following the feeling of not being understood, not being listened to, there is introspection,<br />
closing up and not wanting to share emotions with others. Feeling of being estranged and<br />
belonging somewhere else (spiritual world) *<br />
• Obs: provers do not want to share the information on the webpage as it is usually<br />
done.<br />
• I do not want to bother anyone; I have to solve things myself. At the end I call<br />
someone and spit it all out. I can not handle it all by myself, it is too much. (7/C1)<br />
• I feel I do not belong here, from that moment on introspection, taciturnity. There is no<br />
use in talking if I do not get understood. (16/C1)<br />
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• I feel alone, apathy, I do not belong here, stubborn and taciturn, complete retraction,<br />
estranged, things do not get through to me, I am slow, I do not want to work and can<br />
not force myself to do so. (16/C1)<br />
• I had the feeling of having to do with no family, having to say good-bye to them. This<br />
is true with reality. It is time to say good-bye. (16/C1)<br />
• While I was telling about the symptoms, I was only aware of that and not of the people<br />
around me. (17/C1)<br />
• It feels good to be alone with my thoughts. Wondering whether I am suppressed and<br />
how to connect my inner side. I felt isolated from the group, with my own thoughts,<br />
like a dream. (10/C2)<br />
• I would rather turn my back to the group, but I think that I can not do that and I don’t.<br />
(1/C3)<br />
• It is nice to be in this trance, no thoughts, and emptiness. (17/C3)<br />
• I want to be in myself, leave me alone feeling! Letting go of earth. (1/C4)<br />
• It is like in nature, the feeling to retreat during winter, some plants and trees need it to<br />
grow.<br />
• That was the feeling. (15/C4)<br />
Irritation – violent/explosive anger - suppressed anger – strong emotions<br />
* Suppressed old anger and grief coming out as explosions, out of control, very violent; Old<br />
grievances coming back so strongly that is not possible to ignore the, can not let go of them.<br />
Emotions are so strong that can be preventing one from sleeping. Anger is felt in stomach in<br />
the form of cramping pains *<br />
• I triturate faster and faster all the time, I feel aggressive (I am upstairs, my husband is<br />
down stairs and can hear me) (1/C1)<br />
• I want to destroy the powder; I feel frustrated (1/C1)<br />
• Irritation from the itch, it goes on together with the itch. (3/C1)<br />
• I can not enjoy the trituration cause of the itch. (3/C1)<br />
• I get irritated in the streets, it seems very busy. This is usual in me, but this time it<br />
happened in a second. (3/C1)<br />
• I notice that I suppress my anger when I feel that I am not seen, or listened to. I feel<br />
like screaming for attention and want to smash things against the walls. (3/C1)<br />
• I feel irritation because the same symptoms keep on coming back. My hair irritates<br />
me. (3/C1)<br />
• Anger. (6/C1)<br />
• I have been extremely angry, with a reason and cramping stomach. The steam inside<br />
came out. (12/C1)<br />
• About Tsunami: Anger with cramps in stomach. The images touched me and I was<br />
tired of it. (12/C1)<br />
• I was very angry, had arguments with insurance company. I wrote them a very angry<br />
letter. Things felt uneven, I was not agreeing with it. (13/C1)<br />
• The tsunami really got to me, this is not me, and usually I do not get so emotional. I<br />
felt very nervous and disappointed. (13/C1)<br />
• I was very angry, slamming the table, shouting, yelling in a rude manner, all of this<br />
because of things feeling unfair. (14/C1)<br />
• Violent anger, explosion, my family got scared, they were shocked. I wonder if I want<br />
to continue with this substance. I exploded because my son did not help with<br />
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preparing dinner while I was on the phone with a patient. I was very unreasonable. I<br />
yelled and did not recognize my own voice, I wanted to stop but I could not do it.<br />
(17/C1)<br />
• The talking of people irritates me during trituration. I shut myself to the rest. (17/C1)<br />
• The hairs on my face irritate me. (17/C1)<br />
• Painting? I’d rather have a boxing bag!! (1/C2)<br />
• I have an explosion of anger over the mail. Argue with my boyfriend as soon as I<br />
come in. He does not understand what is happening. I go to my room, cry and cry. I<br />
feel ice cold inside and out. I feel that I am doing so much from the bottom of my<br />
heart and he does not see it. He only sees the sharpness of my words. To avoid more<br />
arguing he walks away whistling, this feels like a confirmation that he does not care.<br />
At one I am at this very hysterical state, it feels like a nervous breakdown. I can not<br />
stop weeping, sobbing like crazy. I feel that I destroy relations but I do not understand<br />
how. I have changed. I try hard but he does and says the same as my ex-boyfriend. I<br />
feel desperate. I do something wrong and do not see what, I do not see it. Feelings of<br />
guilt. I think of my mother’s family, the guilt that my grandfather must have felt when<br />
he abandoned 3 daughters and a wife. The hysteria stopped but I am still crying. My<br />
partner and I talk and things go back to normal. Analysis of this: explosion of anger<br />
about nothing, after that grief, crying and guilt. Very, very old issues come back up<br />
that I did not have for years and years. (3/C2)<br />
• I feel anger I can not let go, it prevents me from sleeping well. (8/C2)<br />
• Conflicts, spitting out what does not belong to me, the issue was dishonesty. (11/C2)<br />
• Irritation from tiredness, very angry, want to toss the mortar and break it. (2/C3)<br />
• Angry and sad. (8/C3)<br />
Peaceful – feeling of confidence – sacred feeling – privileged feeling – warmth<br />
* Sacred, timeless feeling associated with spirituality and nature*<br />
• I feel peaceful and have a quiet feeling. I get to really be with myself. (5/C1/C3)<br />
• It feels like I get strength in the area between the sternum down to the pelvis. It is like<br />
having a stable base. (5/C1) I feel stable, not so afraid of everything. I got myself<br />
back. I had a stable feeling, having a stable base. (11/C1)<br />
• I hear the bell, that tells us to begin, I think of sacristy. I feel something holy and<br />
devotion. It is a spiritual experience. It is almighty. (17/C1)<br />
• I take a deep breath and feel this deep quietness over me. My chest opens and feels<br />
itself with oxygen, air. (17/C1)<br />
• Quiet feeling, sweeter, I feel like in a trance. (1/C2)<br />
• I feel privileged - it felt warm and made me smile. (3/C2)<br />
• It feels like a found my life’s propose, doing provings and triturations. (3/C2)<br />
• I see yellow and gold, like the sun around me. I am on top of the mountain and I feel<br />
peaceful. (3/C3)<br />
• I feel purity. (3/C3)<br />
• The Sun plays a central roll in this. (4/C3)<br />
• Rainforest, tropical rainforests, big, old trees. Sacred, timeless feeling. (4/C3) (17/C3)<br />
• Think of the Christmas and the Bible. (5/C3)<br />
• Mountain tops, sitting on top of the mountain, seeing the world from above. (3/C4,<br />
5/C4)<br />
• I feel relaxed and see the others as fruitless activity. (5/C4)<br />
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• Feeling of thankfulness. (3/C4, 5/C4)<br />
Sacrificing – women’s suffering and strength (C4)<br />
• Feeling of sacrifice. Sacrificing what is dear to you. Rituals. The moon is important.<br />
(11/C4)<br />
• I have lost everything, business partner, partner, future projects. (11/C4)<br />
• Temples were hands were being sacrifice, sacrificing the manly to serve the women’s<br />
strength. Dying a small death = orgasm of the man. Feeling of using that to get to the<br />
higher levels = spiritual world. Orgasmic energy. Feeling this in the crown charka, like<br />
an explosion and that is why headache appears. (18/C4)<br />
• Strong women, with a lot of powers. Goddesses and priestesses. Rituals. (11 & 18/C4)<br />
Relaxed, quiet, tired and falling asleep<br />
* There is extreme tiredness and sleepiness, before associated with the heavy and hard<br />
feeling. Being very tired from not sleeping well, due to old grievances and things can not be<br />
let go*<br />
• I feel relaxed. I feel quiet and listless. In the last 5 minutes, I fall asleep. (2/C1)<br />
• Before the trituration I feel very tired, the last weeks have been very hectic, school and<br />
work. (3/C1)<br />
• I did not realize that we had to attend class today, it discovered it by accident. (3/C1)<br />
• I feel quiet inside; I quietly look death in the eyes.(4/C1)<br />
• Dead tired in the morning from sleeping badly at night. (7/C1)<br />
• I do not feel like working, tiredness. (16/C1)<br />
• I can not get up; do not want to get up. My energy is completely gone (from<br />
sleeplessness). (16/C1)<br />
• I suddenly feel very sleepy. (17/C1).<br />
• Diminished awareness. (19/C2)<br />
• I feel tired and sleepy, my eyes are heavy. (3/C3)<br />
Sadness – loneliness – forsaken<br />
* Enormous grief, usually felt in chest or heart area. Lonely & cold feeling, not being<br />
understood. Sadness from arguments*<br />
• I feel sad. I feel sad and alone in the world. I want to stop, I feel forsaken. (2/C1)<br />
• I feel very sad; I feel that in my chest. (3/C1)<br />
• I miss the group (I am triturating alone at home). It is not nice to be alone. I wish the<br />
group was here, I would feel better and the trituration would have more meaning.<br />
(3/C1)<br />
• Loneliness is to share everything with you. (8/C1)<br />
• I feel empty and sad. Lonely Planet. I feel very, very lonely. (8/C1)<br />
• Grief. (10/C1) (11/C4)<br />
• I cried a lot one evening, it came suddenly, I had not cried like that in a long time. I<br />
felt lonely and forsaken, an ice cold Siberian feeling. (16/C1)<br />
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• I felt estranged at night, could not sleep after argument with partner. I miss my<br />
children. (16/C1)<br />
• After an argument with my daughter I was grieving, I cried for hours. I did not cry like<br />
this in years. The grief of the last few years came out. (17/C1)<br />
• I feel deeply hurt and that is why I keep quiet. Some people do not see the line, my<br />
line, and border; by doing so I feel hurt because it feels like their experience is more<br />
important than mine. After talking about it, it feels better, I can now see the big<br />
picture, after this I can sleep again (did not sleep for weeks). (7/C2)<br />
• Grief when you do some things that other people perceive as bad or are interpreted<br />
differently. (15/C2)<br />
• Pain because you do not want to be judged just because you see things in another<br />
dimension. (15/C2)<br />
• Sadness, old grief; war, Jewish people, I see lines of lean, sad people that are waiting<br />
to be taken to concentration camps. I feel a stitching pain in my heart. Sighing. (1/C3)<br />
• I feel sadness and loneliness and I do not understand that I, we as human beings we<br />
are able to be so cruel (Auschwitz). (15/C3)<br />
• I can not stop crying. I feel grief, especially women suffering. (11/C4)<br />
• Grief and feeling hurt from old things, from long ago. (12/C4)<br />
• Sadness and loneliness, spiritual. (15/C4)<br />
• Grief, I do not want to do anymore. (17/C4)<br />
Sharp and clear thoughts – awareness<br />
* Very awake and aware. Perceiving the surroundings in a clear way *<br />
• The first 3 weeks I was very sharp. (11/C1)<br />
• Sharp and clear in reaction, things that I felt.(12/C1)<br />
• My eyes are wide open; I can clearly perceive things around me. I am conscientious of<br />
the surroundings and I see deep sadness, grief and suffering in some of the faces. It<br />
does not move me, I just perceive it. (17/C1)<br />
Time – hurry – anxiety about time – feeling pressure - letting go of time<br />
* Feeling of hurry, feeling of time going slowly and not having time to finish up the task or<br />
the opposite, calmness because there is no time *<br />
• I triturate faster and faster (1/C1) – with feeling of pressure in the head.<br />
• I triturate faster and faster all the time, I feel aggressive (I am upstairs, my husband is<br />
down stairs and can hear me). (1/C1) (1/C2)<br />
• Quick thoughts. (1/C1)<br />
• Time passes slowly, I wonder if this is the time to be doing this. I feel anxiety in the<br />
stomach; it has to do with the time, in a hurry to finish the trituration. I feel hurry and<br />
triturating fast. Time passes still slowly. I get tired of sitting and take a walk around.<br />
(3/C1) (5/C3) (5/C4)<br />
• Times passes slowly, this is strange, as I feel stressed inside, like I have not enough<br />
time. (3/C2)<br />
• I kept wondering if it is not time yet (to die?) (4/C1)<br />
• Intense, increasing feeling of pressure, like I am in some race. (10/C1)<br />
• I have no watch on, that is very unusual for me. (1/C2)<br />
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• Impatient, I want to get on with things. (3/C2)<br />
• I worry about the time; it feels like my stomach is shrinking. (3/C2)<br />
• I feel irritated about the time, time should go, and it serves no purpose. (3/C2)<br />
• Anxious about time, I am not going to make it in time! Feeling that I have to do what I<br />
am doing as fast as possible, because I still have so much more to do! (3/C2)<br />
• Time does not exist in the feeling of bliss. (3/C3)<br />
• There is no time. State of being, neutral, no time, no boundaries. (4/C3)<br />
• Trituration takes too long, impatient. (6/C3)<br />
• There was no time left ? (2/C4)<br />
Togetherness – universe – no boundaries<br />
* Experience of the wholeness of the universe but without any kind of excitement *<br />
• Feeling of togetherness, I resonate and recognize but it is neutral. (3/C2)<br />
• I feel sympathetic but it does not move me. (3/C3)<br />
• On top of the mountain everything is complete and whole. (3/C3)<br />
• I have an enormous feeling of love to partner and the human race. Feeling of oneness.<br />
(3/C3)<br />
Quarrelsome<br />
* Picking fights and arguing easily, especially with family members*<br />
• I argue with my mother. Get very angry at her. (7/C1)<br />
• Fights with family members. (3/C1, 7/C1, 17/C1)<br />
• Argument with daughter and son separately. (17/C1)<br />
Washing off – cleaning and clearing up – past and present – order & structure<br />
* There is a feeling of cleaning and clearing up old things, old vexations, old grief,<br />
unpleasant memories, also a literal need to clean and clear up, either oneself or the house*<br />
• When I am done I wash my hands thoroughly, I want to wash it off of me, I take a<br />
shower, want to rinse it off! (1/C1)<br />
• I had the feeling that everything came out, like a clean up, had the flu for 1,5 weeks,<br />
stronger than ever, I think the remedy speeded up the process. (12/C1)<br />
• I have been clearing up at home enormously, it felt good. (16/C1)<br />
• After an argument with my daughter I was grieving, I cried for hours. I did not cry like<br />
this in years. The grief of the last few years came out. (17/C1)<br />
• I see images of the past, situations in which I was very angry, it all had to do with<br />
crossing the line, the border, the limit. I feel the anger boiling in me. It is violent but I<br />
know where it comes from, I am not clear; I let it happen. (17/C1)<br />
• Life is a circle with beginning and end. (2/C2)<br />
• This remedy purifies the feelings that take room from others. (15/C3)<br />
• Grief and feeling hurt from old things, from long ago. (12/C4)<br />
43
nd<br />
Past – thoughts of the past – 2 world war – Nazi’s and Jews – War<br />
* Melancholy to the past, thoughts of the past and sadness, grief or a sense of homesickness<br />
to the past*<br />
• I had images of Auschwitz in snow in cold, ice cold mind to think that up. It was a big<br />
plan. (15/C1)<br />
• I see images of winters in the past; snow and ice. I feel sorry that those winters are not<br />
there, maybe in the next life, it feels comforting. (2/C2 16/C2)<br />
• Thoughts of the past, what have my grandparents felt during the war? I feel the<br />
sadness of the family, tired and heavy feeling. (1/C3)<br />
• I hear someone coughing and think: see!? The gas chamber!! (1/C3)<br />
44
3f. Physical symptoms<br />
List of physical symptoms Lapis Lazuli - trituration<br />
Vertigo<br />
Dizzy feeling & sleepiness (8/C3)<br />
Lightheaded feeling (13/C2)<br />
Head<br />
Congestion & hot cheeks (3/C1 4/C1)<br />
Itching in occiput (2/C2 3/C1 8/C1)<br />
Head pain, constant & lasting for days (16/C1)<br />
Head pain, right eye extending to left eye & forehead (17/C4)<br />
Head pain, in forehead and nose Bridge (1/C1), in forehead and occiput (12/C4)<br />
Head pain & glowing sensation. Pain from between scapulae extending to neck and head.<br />
(1/C2)<br />
Head pain, pressing in forehead < by pressure (3/C1)<br />
Head pain, pressing temple left. HA goes away gradually. Then a sensation of a cold spot is<br />
left behind, as if wet and the wind blows over it. (5/C1)<br />
Head pain, stitching on temples, both sides of the head (15/C2)<br />
Noises in head, hearing illusions (7/C4)<br />
Sensation of pressure in the head, violent (with anxiety) (1/C1 19/C1)<br />
Sensation of heat, yet feels cold to touch (15/C2)<br />
Eyes<br />
Inflamed eyes (16/C1)<br />
Irritation, right, outer corner (5/C3)<br />
Itching right (1/C2)<br />
Itchy eyelids, burning, desquamating < right (16/C1)<br />
Lachrymation, right eye and then left (2/C1)<br />
Pain, behind eye, left 916/C3)<br />
Pain, burning (2/C3) (3/C1) < right (10/C1)<br />
Pain, burning upper lids (4/C1 C3)<br />
Pain, burning, while reading (3/C1)<br />
Pain, stitching, left eye, above in waves (2/C2)<br />
Sensation of tiredness in eyes (3/C1) & painful (16/C1)<br />
Vision<br />
Closing the eyes, desire to (2/C4)<br />
Red before the eyes (2/C4)<br />
Orange, gold, and yellow (3/C3)<br />
Ears<br />
Itching in the meatus, left (3/C1)<br />
Noises in ears, < left; from morning on (7/C3)<br />
Tingling, glowing in ears, right after starting (1/C1/C2)<br />
Stitching pain in right ear. Stitching pain in left ear (1/C1/C3/C4)<br />
Pressure, sensation of, behind the ears (1/C1)<br />
45
Hearing<br />
Hearing illusions (see ears)<br />
Nose<br />
Acute; stronger sense of smell (17/C1)<br />
Bleeding/ Epistaxis in the morning on bending forward (with feeling of pressure in head)<br />
(3/C1)<br />
Coldness, freezing (2/C1 2/C2 8/C2)<br />
Discharge, transparent (19/C1)<br />
Dryness, inside & dry throat (3/C1) (8/C2)<br />
Itching (10/C1)<br />
Nostrils, open, left. Feeling of cold air going in (5/C3) oxygen going in (17/C1)<br />
Odors, imaginary and real<br />
camphor (7/C3)<br />
coffee, burned (5/C3)<br />
gasoline (1/C1)<br />
old ladies perfume (7/C3)<br />
peppermint (13/C3)<br />
soap (17/C1)<br />
something sharp (8/C1)<br />
spring/fresh (1/C4)<br />
sweet, fruity (3/C3)<br />
Sneezing (12/C1)<br />
Face<br />
Cramp in the jaw (16/C1)<br />
Eruptions, very small pimples in face, back & back side upper legs. Red & painful.<br />
Eruptions, itching in forehead & chest (3/C1)<br />
Feeling of a spider web & irritation (3/C1)<br />
Glowing sensation (12/C3 17/C4)<br />
Itching (1/C1)<br />
Itching in chin (1/C1)<br />
Pain in jaws (1/C1)<br />
Mouth<br />
Burning feeling in the mouth, esp. tongue, like a blister or aphthae (1/C2)<br />
Burning in upper lip (1/C3)<br />
Dryness (11/C4) (20/C4)<br />
Salivation, profuse (2/C1)<br />
Swollen salivary glands (12/C4)<br />
Taste, bitter, like bile; after a sip of water. Water < (3/C2)<br />
Tingling, tongue (2/C3)<br />
Throat/Ext. throat<br />
Feeling of lump in the throat & feeling of choking (1/C3)<br />
Itching & coughing < left (3/C1)<br />
Pain, stitching, left on waking (3/C1) Violent pain, swallowing < (13/C2)<br />
Sensation of heat (2/C1)<br />
Torticollis drawn to the left (17/C4)<br />
46
Food & Drink<br />
Desire for cold & sweets (ice- cream) (1/C4) (7/C4)<br />
Desire for yogurt (3/C3)<br />
Desire chocolate, menses during (7/C3)<br />
Desire & aversion artichokes & chicory (3/C1)<br />
Stomach<br />
Distension (1/C3) (7/C1)<br />
Grumbling in stomach (2/C1)<br />
Heavy feeling (2/C1)<br />
Hunger & easy satiety. Hunger & empty feeling in stomach. Hunger at night (3/C1) (10/C1)<br />
Hungry and tired (15/C4 20/C4)<br />
Nausea & Belching (1/C1 2/C1)<br />
Nausea constant, lasting for 2 weeks, after that only on waking (7/C1)<br />
Nausea with Sighing &Yawning (1/C4)<br />
Pain from anxiety (18/C3)<br />
Pain, burning; after apples (3/C1)<br />
Pain, cramping during anger (12/C1)<br />
Sensation of a lump in cardia, as if something were stuck there & nausea (3/C1)<br />
Shrinking sensation & anxiety about time (3/C1)<br />
Thirst intense (1/C2) (17/C1)<br />
Abdomen<br />
Pain with fear (12/C1) & palpitations (16/C3)<br />
Pain, just under diaphragm (12/C4)<br />
Pain, stitching in liver region (1/C3)<br />
Distended, feels hard, flatulence & belching (7/C3) for weeks (13/C1)<br />
Rectum<br />
Dry stool (3/C1)<br />
Urinary<br />
Bladder full & excitement (3/C1)<br />
Female<br />
Conscious of uterus (3/C1)<br />
Menses profuse, sensation of swollen breasts (7/C3)<br />
Desire for chocolate during menses (7/C3)<br />
Sexual desire increased, lascivious (17/ 18/ C4)<br />
Larynx & Trachea<br />
Choking; daytime & fear of suffocation (17/C1)<br />
Respiration<br />
Difficult; choking sensation & fear of suffocation (17/C4)<br />
Slow & deep (19/C1)<br />
Yawning (19/C1)<br />
47
Cough<br />
Dry & raw feeling behind sternum (3/C3) (15/C3)<br />
Cough, just once every time (3/C3)<br />
Chest<br />
Conscious of lungs & yawning & itchy nose (10/C1)<br />
Itching, in sternum (3/C1)<br />
Pain, feeling of pressure in heart area (1/C1 7/C3)<br />
Pain, violent pressure on the chest, right side (1/C4)<br />
Pain burning & glowing sensation (1/C2)<br />
Pain, sore as from a blow on waking, 5 days before the menses. < Left. Nipple is swollen &<br />
bluish on one side. (3/C2)<br />
Pain, stitching, left side. Pain goes from nipple straight inwards, through the breast. (3/C2<br />
15/C3)<br />
Swelling of axillary? glands & painful, before menses (16/C1)<br />
Mammae; sensation of swelling & growth (7/17/ C4)<br />
Heart<br />
Palpitations & tired, heavy legs (1/C2)<br />
Back<br />
Itching back & shoulders (3/C1)<br />
Sensation of warmth in the back (1/C1)<br />
Stiff neck muscles (12/C1)<br />
Limbs (Upper)<br />
Coldness of hands & cold face (2/C1)<br />
Cold right arm and shoulder with pain (7/C3)<br />
Eruption, itching on hand, like a fleabite (3/C1)<br />
Numb upper arms (19/C1)<br />
Pain in left arm, extending to left leg & tingling (16/C3)<br />
Pain in right arm, numb feeling (1/C1)<br />
Pain in right arm & coldness; as if rubbed with peppermint oil (13/C3)<br />
Pain cramping in shoulders (with irritation) (1/C2)<br />
Pain drawing in shoulders, as if drawn upwards (8/C1)<br />
Pain cramping in wrist (3/C1)<br />
Pain & heaviness in shoulders, upper arms and cervical region (16/C3)<br />
Perspiration in hands (1/C2) Wrists (10/C1)<br />
Scanty feeling in thighs (16/C3)<br />
Warm hands (4/C1) & feet (12/C4)<br />
Limbs (Lower)<br />
Coldness, thighs & feet at night (3/C1)<br />
Cold feet and lower legs (7/C3) & tingling (8/C1) < left and then right (12/C2/C3)<br />
Cramps in foot sole and toe, left > standing (5/C3)<br />
Pain in right knee (1/C1)<br />
Stretching out legs is impossible (12/C4)<br />
Swollen as if, and out of proportion (3/C1)<br />
48
Sleep<br />
Difficulties falling asleep. Do not remember the dreams. (3/C1)<br />
Interrupted, from dreams, waking at 4 am (5/C3)<br />
Position, on abdomen with knee on the same side lifted (5/C3)<br />
Sleeplessness from worries, anger & vexation; dwelling at night (7/C1)<br />
Strong desire for sleeping (15 17/C4)<br />
Wake up tired and cold. (3/C2)<br />
Wake up often with a feeling of suppression (18/C3)<br />
Dreams of daily occupations, of cruel things (5/8/12/C1)<br />
Chill<br />
Shivers all over the body (1/C3)<br />
Perspiration<br />
Perspiration at night (7/C1)<br />
Skin<br />
Dryness, as if that of a mummy (17/C4) so dry that it hurts (15/C4)<br />
Goose flesh & shivers (8/C1 8/C3 8/C2)<br />
Ice coldness; hot water > (3/C1)<br />
Ice coldness; at night (3/C1) (16/C1)<br />
Wandering itch, right shoulder, wrist, nose, ear, right cheek & irritation (3/C1)<br />
Modalities<br />
Hot bathing, sun and warmth ><br />
Sleeping ><br />
Quarrelling <<br />
Generals<br />
Alternating and contradictory states<br />
Desire color blue<br />
Dryness of mucus membranes<br />
Heat & burning<br />
Ice coldness & tiredness & yawning (almost every prover)<br />
Ice coldness & shivering<br />
Itching all over<br />
Lack of energy from sleeplessness & tiredness<br />
Symptoms lasting for a week or two (1/3/7/16)<br />
Violent & quick symptoms<br />
49
3g. Rubrics of the physical symptoms<br />
Rubrics of the Physical symptoms of Lapis Lazuli - trituration<br />
VERTIGO<br />
- Light headed (see Vertigo)<br />
- Vertigo (Pr 13/C2)<br />
HEAD<br />
- HEAD - COLDNESS, chilliness, etc. - water, as from cold (Pr 5/C1)<br />
- HEAD – CONGESTION (Pr 4/C1, Pr 3/C2, Pr 4/C3, Pr 17/C4)<br />
- HEAD - ITCHING of scalp – Occiput (Pr 3/C1/Pr 2/C3)<br />
- HEAD - ITCHING of scalp - Sides – left (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - morning - waking, on (Pr 1/C4)<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - Forehead, in - left side (Pr 1/C4)<br />
- HEAD - PAIN – eye right, then left - in - extending to – Forehead (Pr 17/C4)*<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - Forehead, in – pulsating (Pr 11/C4)<br />
- HEAD PAIN pressing (Pr 19/C1)<br />
- HEAD PAIN pressing – Fear with (Pr1/C1)*<br />
- HEAD PAIN pressing – Forehead in pressure agg (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - pressing – between Forehead & Vertex (Pr 5/C2)<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - pressing - Forehead - Eyes – Behind (Pr 9/C1)<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - Forehead, in (Pr 1/C4)<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - Forehead, in - left side (Pr 18/C4)<br />
- HEAD PAIN pressing Temples left (Pr 5/C1)<br />
- HEAD - PAIN - stitching – Sides (Pr 15/C2)<br />
- HEAD - HEAT - accompanied by - Face - heat of (Pr 1/C2)<br />
- HEAD - HEAT - cold - touch, though heat; cold to (Pr 15/C2)<br />
- HEAD - HEAT - flushes of (Pr 5/C4)<br />
- HEAD - TINGLING – Vertex (Pr 16/C3)<br />
EYE<br />
- EYE - DISCHARGES – burning (Pr 2/C1)<br />
- EYE - ERUPTIONS - Lids – scurfy (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- EYE - ERUPTIONS - Lids – right (Pr 16/C1)*<br />
- EYE – IRRITATION (Pr 10/C1) (Pr 5/C2)<br />
- EYE – IRRITATION – right (Pr 10/C1)<br />
- EYE - ITCHING – Lids (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- EYE - ITCHING - Lids – right (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- EYE - LACHRYMATION – right (Pr 2/C1)<br />
- EYE – LACHRYMATION – burning (Pr 2/C1) *<br />
- EYE - LACHRYMATION – right and then left (Pr 2/C1)*<br />
- EYE - PAIN – burning (Pr 3/C1) (Pr 4/C1) (Pr 10/C1) (Pr 16/C1) (Pr 2/C3)<br />
- EYE - PAIN - burning - Lids – Upper (Pr 4/C1, Pr 4/C3)<br />
- EYE - PAIN - burning - reading, while (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- EYE - PAIN - burning - light - agg. (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- EYE – PAIN – stitching inner canthi - extending to outer canthi (Pr 5/C3)*<br />
- EYE – SWELLING (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- EYE - SWELLING - morning - waking, on (Pr 16/C1) (Pr 19/C2)<br />
- EYE - TIRED SENSATION (Pr 3/C1, Pr 16/C1)<br />
50
- EYE - QUIVERING – Lids – from irritation (Pr 3/C2)*<br />
VISION<br />
EAR<br />
- VISION - LOSS OF VISION with tired sensation in eyes (Pr 16/C1)*<br />
- VISION - COLORS before the eyes – red (Pr 2/C4)<br />
- VISION – BLURRED (Pr 5/C5)<br />
- EAR - HEAT - External ear (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- EAR - HEAT - External ear accompanied with heat in the cheeks (Pr 1/C2)*<br />
- EAR - ITCHING - Meatus – right (Pr 3/C1, Pr 1/C2)<br />
- EAR - ITCHING - Meatus – left (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- EAR - NOISES in – rustling (Pr 17/C3)<br />
- EAR - NOISES in – rustling left (Pr 7/C3)*<br />
- EAR – TINGLING (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- EAR - PAIN – stitching (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- EAR - PAIN - stitching – right (Pr 1/C1, Pr 1/C4, Pr 2/C5)<br />
- EAR - PAIN - stitching – left (Pr 1/C3, Pr 5/C3)<br />
- EAR - PAIN – pressing (Pr 1/C2)<br />
- EAR - PAIN - pressing - Behind the ear (Pr 1/C1)<br />
NOSE<br />
- NOSE - COLDNESS - icy coldness (Pr 2/C1, Pr 8/C2)<br />
- NOSE - DISCHARGE – transparent (Pr 19/C1, Pr 5/C2)<br />
- NOSE - DISCHARGE – watery (Pr 19/C1, Pr 5/C2, Pr 20/C4)<br />
- NOSE - DRYNESS – Inside (Pr 3/C1, Pr 8/C2)<br />
- NOSE - DRYNESS – Inside and cold (Pr 8/C2)*<br />
- NOSE - EPISTAXIS – morning (3/C1)<br />
- NOSE - EPISTAXIS - stooping, on (3/C1)<br />
- NOSE – IRRITATION as if from cold weather (Pr 2/C1)*<br />
- NOSE – ITCHING (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real bleach (Pr 2/C5) (Pr 8/C5)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real camphor (Pr 7/C3)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real coffee – burned (Pr 5/C3)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real cold stones (Pr 12/C2)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real – fresh/ spring (Pr 1/C4)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real gasoline (Pr 1/C3)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real peppermint (Pr 5, C3)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real soap (Pr 17/C1) (Pr 5/C4)*<br />
- NOSE - ODORS; imaginary and real – sweetish (Pr 3/C3)*<br />
- NOSE - OPEN - Nostrils are wide - sensation as if left then right (Pr 17/C1)*<br />
- NOSE - SMELL – acute (Mind sense acute) (Pr 11/C4)<br />
- NOSE – SNEEZING (Pr 12/C1, Pr 7/C1, Pr 8/C1)<br />
FACE<br />
- FACE - COLDNESS - accompanied by - Hands; coldness of (Pr 2/C1, Pr 4/C1)<br />
51
- FACE - CRAMP - Jaws – Lower – left (pr 16/C1)<br />
- FACE - DISCOLORATION - red - glowing red (Pr 12/C3)<br />
- FACE - DISCOLORATION - red - glowing red – Cheeks (Pr 3/C2)<br />
- FACE - DISCOLORATION - red - glowing red – Cheeks and Ears (Pr 1/C2)*<br />
- FACE - ERUPTIONS – Forehead and chest (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- FACE – ERUPTIONS – itching (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- FACE - ERUPTIONS - itching – Forehead and Chest (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- FACE - ERUPTIONS – painful (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- FACE - ERUPTIONS – red (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- FACE – ITCHING (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- FACE - ITCHING – Chin (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- FACE - ITCHING – Cheeks – right (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- FACE - ITCHING - Lips – Upper – above (Pr 17/C1)*<br />
- FACE - COBWEB - sensation of (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- FACE - PAIN – Jaw (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- FACE - PAIN - burning - Lips – Upper (Pr 1/C3)<br />
MOUTH<br />
- MOUTH – DRYNESS (Pr 11/C4, Pr 20/C4)<br />
- MOUTH – DULLNESS feeling of (Pr 2/C5)*<br />
- MOUTH - PAIN - burnt, sensation as if (Pr 1/C2)<br />
- MOUTH - PRICKLING – Tongue (Pr 2/C3)<br />
- MOUTH - TASTE - bitter - water agg. (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- MOUTH - TASTE - bitter - Tongue; sides (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- MOUTH - TASTE - sweetish - Tongue – Root (Pr 5/C5)<br />
- MOUTH - TASTE – acute (Pr 11/C4)<br />
- MOUTH - SWELLING - Salivary glands (Pr 12/C4)<br />
THROAT<br />
- THROAT - CHOKING – daytime (Pr 17/C4)<br />
EXTERNAL THROAT<br />
- EXTERNAL THROAT - TORTICOLLIS - left; drawn to the (17/C1)<br />
STOMACH<br />
- STOMACH - APPETITE - easy satiety (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- STOMACH - APPETITE - increased (Pr 10/C1, Pr 20/C4, Pr 15/C4)<br />
- STOMACH - APPETITE - increased – night (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- STOMACH – ERUCTATIONS (Pr 7/C3)<br />
- STOMACH – NAUSEA (Pr 7/C1, Pr 15/C1, Pr 1/C4, Pr 20/C5)<br />
- STOMACH - NAUSEA – daytime (Pr 7/C1)<br />
- STOMACH - NAUSEA - sleep – after (Pr 7/C1)<br />
- STOMACH - NAUSEA - accompanied by – eructations (Pr 1/C1, Pr 2/C1)<br />
- STOMACH - NAUSEA – accompanied by heavy feeling in stomach (Pr 2/C2)*<br />
- STOMACH - NAUSEA – accompanied by sensation of a lump in cardia (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- STOMACH - NAUSEA - motion – and looking away agg (Pr 2/C5)*<br />
52
- STOMACH - NAUSEA - pain, during - Abdomen, in (Pr 20/C5)<br />
- STOMACH - PAIN – burning – apples after (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- STOMACH - PAIN – cramping (Pr 12/C1)<br />
- STOMACH – THIRST (Pr 17/C1, Pr 1/C2, Pr 17/C3)<br />
ABDOMEN<br />
- ABDOMEN - DISTENSION - eating – after (Pr 5/C1)<br />
- ABDOMEN - DISTENSION – Hypochondria (Pr 13/C1, Pr 1/C3, Pr 7/C3)<br />
- ABDOMEN – FLATULENCE (Pr 7/C3)<br />
- ABDOMEN - HARD – Hypochondria (Pr 7/C3)<br />
- ABDOMEN - PAIN - cramping (Pr 8/C1, Pr 7/C3)<br />
- ABDOMEN - PAIN - cramping - Across abdomen (Pr 5/C3)<br />
- ABDOMEN - PAIN - Epigastrium - accompanied with - Chest; oppression of<br />
(Pr19/C1)*<br />
- ABDOMEN - PAIN - stitching - Liver – Region (Pr 1/C3)<br />
- ABDOMEN – RUMBLING (Pr 2/C1)<br />
FEMALE<br />
- FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX - CONSCIOUS of the uterus (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX - MENSES - copious - accompanied by – swollen<br />
breasts (Pr 7/C4)*<br />
- FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX - SEXUAL DESIRE - increased - dreams sexual – with<br />
(Pr 17/C4, Pr 18/C4, Pr 20/C5)<br />
LARYNX & TRACHEA<br />
- LARYNX AND TRACHEA - DRYNESS – Larynx (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- LARYNX AND TRACHEA - HEAT – Larynx (Pr 2/C1)<br />
- LARYNX AND TRACHEA - LUMP; sensation of a - Larynx, in (Pr 1/C3)<br />
- LARYNX AND TRACHEA - PAIN - stitching – Larynx (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- LARYNX AND TRACHEA - PAIN - stitching – Larynx – warm drinks agg (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- LARYNX AND TRACHEA - PAIN - stitching - Larynx - swallowing – impeding (Pr<br />
13/C2, Pr 15/C1)<br />
- LARYNX AND TRACHEA - SWELLING - sensation of (Pr 3/C1)<br />
RESPIRATION<br />
- RESPIRATION – SLOW (Pr 19/C1)<br />
- RESPIRATION – DEEP (Pr 17/C1)<br />
- RESPIRATION – DEEP and SLOW (Pr 19/C1)*<br />
- RESPIRATION – SIGHING (Pr 1/C4)<br />
COUGH<br />
- COUGH - ITCHING - Larynx; in < Links (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- COUGH - ITCHING - Throat-pit evening and night (Pr 1/C4)*<br />
53
CHEST<br />
- CHEST - CONSTRICTION – Heart (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- CHEST - CONSTRICTION - Mammae - right – (Pr 1/C4)*<br />
- CHEST - ERUPTIONS – itching (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- CHEST - ITCHING – Sternum (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- CHEST - OPPRESSION – with heaviness in stomach (Pr 19/C1)*<br />
- CHEST - PALPITATION of heart – (Pr 1/C2, Pr 16/C3)<br />
- CHEST - PALPITATION of heart - coldness; with (Pr 1/C3)<br />
- CHEST - PAIN – Heart (Pr 7/C3)<br />
- CHEST - PAIN - gnawing – Heart with anger (Pr 5/C5)*<br />
- CHEST - PAIN - stitching – Heart with grief (Pr 1/C3)*<br />
- CHEST - PAIN - stitching - Mammae – left (Pr 15/C3)<br />
- CHEST - PAIN - sore – Mammae – left (Pr 3/C2)<br />
- CHEST - PAIN - sore - Mammae - menses - before - accompanied by – swelling<br />
nipples (Pr 3/C2)*<br />
- CHEST - SWELLING - Mammae (Pr 17/C4)<br />
- CHEST – SWELLING - Mammae - menses – during (Pr 7/C4)<br />
- CHEST - SWELLING - Axilla - Glands – painful (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- CHEST - SWELLING - Axilla - Glands – ovulation during (Pr 16/C1)*<br />
BACK<br />
- BACK – ITCHING (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- BACK – HEAT (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- BACK - HEAT - Cervical region - extending to – dorsal region – Scapulae (Pr 1/C2)*<br />
- BACK - PAIN – gnawing right extending to left (Pr 5/C5)*<br />
- BACK - PAIN – sore (Pr 20/C5)<br />
- BACK - PAIN - sore - Dorsal region - Scapulae – Between (Pr 5/C5)<br />
- BACK - PAIN – stitching (Pr 20/C4)<br />
EXTREMITIES<br />
- EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS - Upper limbs (Pr 4/C3)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS - Upper limbs – right (Pr 7/C3)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS - Upper limbs – as if rubbed in peppermint oil (Pr<br />
13/C3)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS – Foot (Pr 12/C2, Pr 12/C3)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS - Lower limbs – icy cold from knee down (Pr 7/C3)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS - Leg – night (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS - Leg – with numbness (Pr 8/C1)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - CRAMPS - Upper limbs – right (Pr 3/C2)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - CRAMPS – Foot (Pr 5/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - CRAMPS - Foot – Sole – left (Pr 5/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - CRAMPS - Toes – First – Left (Pr 5/C1)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - CRAMPS - Toes – First – standing amel (Pr 5/C1)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - ERUPTIONS - Hand – right - flea bite, like (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - HEAT – Hand (Pr 4/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - HEAT – Hand and Feet (Pr 12/C4)*<br />
54
- EXTREMITIES – (painful) HEAVINESS - Upper arm and shoulders (Pr 16/C3)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - HEAVINESS – Leg (Pr 1/C2)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - ITCHING – Shoulder – right (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - NUMBNESS - Arms – right (Pr 1/C1, Pr 13/C4)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - NUMBNESS - Upper arm (Pr 19/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Knee – right (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Shoulder – right (Pr 7/C3) (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Upper arm – left (Pr 16/C3)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN – Wrist (Pr 3/C1, Pr 10/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN - cramping – Shoulder (Pr 1/C2)*<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN - cramping – Wrist (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN - drawing – Shoulder (Pr 8/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PERSPIRATION – Hand (Pr 1/C2)<br />
- EXTREMITIES – Scanty sensation – thigh inner (Pr 16/C3)*<br />
SLEEP<br />
- SLEEP - FALLING ASLEEP – difficult (Pr 3/C1)<br />
- SLEEP - FALLING ASLEEP – difficult from coldness (Pr 3/C1)*<br />
- SLEEP - INTERRUPTED - night – waking many times (Pr 7/C1, Pr 16/C1)*<br />
- SLEEP - POSITION - abdomen, on, knee lifted (Pr 5/C3)<br />
- SLEEP - SLEEPINESS – overpowering (Pr 2/C1)<br />
- SLEEP - WAKING - night - midnight - after - 2 h (Pr 7/C1)<br />
- SLEEP - WAKING - night - midnight - after – 5 h (Pr 7/C1)<br />
DREAMS<br />
- DREAMS – ANIMALS being stung by bees (Pr 8/C2)* bitten by snakes (18/C4)<br />
- DREAMS – CRUELTY (Pr 18/C3)<br />
- DREAMS - EVENTS – daily (Pr 8/C3)<br />
- DREAMS - EVENTS - past; long (Pr 16/C1)<br />
- DREAMS – FAMILY – own (3/C3 5/C3 16/C1)<br />
- DREAMS – QUARRELS (Pr 3/C3)<br />
- DREAMS – WAR (Pr 8/C5)<br />
PERSPIRATION<br />
SKIN<br />
- PERSPIRATION – NIGHT (Pr 7/C1)<br />
- PERSPIRATION – PROFUSE (Pr 5/C5)<br />
- SKIN – DRY (Pr 17/C4)<br />
- SKIN - WRINKLED, shriveled (Pr 17/C4)<br />
INFLUENZA<br />
- HEAD - HEAT - flushes of – influenza; during open air amel (Pr 12/C1)<br />
- NOSE - CORYZA - influenza; from (Pr 12/C1)<br />
55
- COUGH - ITCHING - Larynx; in- influenza; during (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- COUGH - ITCHING - Larynx; in- influenza; appearing in the evening (Pr 1/C1)<br />
- EXTREMITIES - PAIN – influenza; during accompanied with fever (Pr 1/C1)* 28<br />
- GENERALS - PAIN - sore - influenza; during (Pr 12/C1)<br />
- GENERALS - HEAT - lack of vital heat – influenza; during (Pr 12/C1)<br />
3h. Dreams of the Lapis Lazuli trituration<br />
DREAMS of the Lapis Lazuli trituration<br />
Prover 3/C1<br />
Dream – night of the trituration day<br />
I dream that I have some sort of tumor in my knees, they are purple and swollen. I can see the<br />
veins in them. Then they fall on the ground and leave these ulcers behind. Once on the<br />
ground, they grow and this enormous bee comes and feeds from them. My father and sister<br />
are standing in the street, I meet them there. My sister tells me then that my mother has cancer<br />
and that she is going to die sometime in November. She knows the exact date. My mother is<br />
standing behind my sister and she looks like she does not know anything. I find that<br />
distressing.<br />
I have dreamt a couple of times that my teeth fell off. Healthy, sound teeth, with no holes but<br />
were thin. It felt like having sea shells in my mouth. In the second dream I had no teeth and<br />
though: I look like sh..! How horrible!<br />
Prover 3/C2<br />
I dream that my teacher has taken over one of my patients. She prescribed some other remedy.<br />
She tells me the story of this other remedy, hoe it is made and where from. It is an animal that<br />
looks a bit like an armadillo. She claims that this remedy is better for the child. She tells me<br />
this seriously but the people around her are laughing, as if they knew that what she is telling is<br />
not right. I feel angry and frustrated; I feel powerlessness and can not believe it. How is this<br />
possible? I can just not believe it. I think that I have deep respect for my teacher and I always<br />
ask you about things. I do that gladly, and this can not be. This is my patient I would have<br />
liked to be asked first, before anyone did anything.<br />
Prover 4/C1<br />
Dreaming of something broken, it is done with the teeth and then spitting it all out. It is like<br />
some soft and bloody stuff.<br />
Prover 5/C1<br />
Dream a lot about every day things like doing the groceries or cleaning.<br />
28 * = new rubrics<br />
56
Prover 5/C4<br />
I saw the church tower of my parents’ village crushing down. My parents live close to the<br />
church, everything was destroyed. I saw my parents’ house from the other side of the street.<br />
There was no much going on, just that everything was destroyed.<br />
Prover 12/C1<br />
I dreamt a lot about everyday things like vacuuming of doing the dishes. In the morning I had<br />
forgotten the dreams and then around 15 pm I remembered some of it.<br />
Prover 16/C1<br />
I dream a lot about my father and the past.<br />
Prover 8/C2<br />
I dream of bees in my room. They sting me. They are in the curtain, they are flying at me.<br />
Some unknown person takes the curtain and shakes them off.<br />
Prover 3/C3<br />
I dream that I am so angry at someone that I can not stop yelling and end up beating up this<br />
person. I have drawn that person violently into a room and start beating her up. The reason for<br />
this is that I feel she crossed the line, disrespected the boundaries. This is a female family<br />
member coming on to my partner. My thoughts about this: you are not touching the most<br />
sacred in my life. After this I feel very sad and cry a lot because my partner is very angry at<br />
me for what I have done. He says to me in the dream: you have made a scene at a family party<br />
and that is not the place to do it! You have no respect for anybody!!<br />
Prover 5/C3<br />
Dreams of strange situations in family, daughter had 3 children in dream instead of one.<br />
Also dreamt that my father in law, at 91 years went off to get something and fell, he ended<br />
standing on his feet one floor lower and walked away. I was surprised he was not injured. I<br />
had not emotions with this, I just watched it.<br />
Prover 18/C3<br />
Cruel dreams. Felt shocked in the dreams.<br />
I dreamt of turtles eating a fish head, association with suppression and cruelty.<br />
Dreams of dancing, a lot of dreams, often.<br />
Prover 18/C4<br />
I dreamt of a snake, 2 days in a row. The snake was very thin, was in my pocket and bite me. I<br />
let it fall, and goes away. Children are walking up the stairs they get bitten but do not feel it.<br />
57
Prover 8/C5<br />
I dream about the war. I and my children are in some attic. Somebody knocks strongly on the<br />
door. And then there is silence. One of my sons climbs on the roof to see what is going on. He<br />
then gets threatened with a gun by a soldier that was on the roof. They tell us that we shall be<br />
picked up in two days. I say good bye to the attic. I look through its round windows, I see a<br />
long and wide ditch full of weed, green plants, and it extends for as long as my eyes can<br />
reach. I get up with a heavy feeling.<br />
58
3i. C5 level – “Sleeping Beauty”<br />
C5 level – the archetypical information of Lapis Lazuli<br />
During the fifth trituration of the remedy the main feelings expressed were:<br />
• Resistance to things – to old things that come back, to what there is to come,<br />
especially negative things like the coldness and cruelty of humanity. (Hitler as<br />
example) (3/C4 7/C5 15/C5)<br />
• Fear that joy will turn around into misery – (3/C4 6/C5 7/C5)<br />
• Feeling that maybe you can not be yourself because of duties and time, responsibility<br />
– wanting to break loose from these - (8/C5 13/C5)<br />
• Feeling of being gone, detached – with “Sleeping beauty” as comparison in this gone<br />
feeling as well as the contradictions in it. (6/C5 15/C5)<br />
• Experiencing the dark side as cruelty and wanting to skip that part. Anger about<br />
having to go through it forcibly. ( 2/C5 15/C5)<br />
• Living in paradox 29 – contradictory emotions – the solution being : believing in<br />
yourself and going above that feeling. (5/C5 7/C5 9/C5 11/C5 15/C5)<br />
Ultimately what seems to be the core of this information is the paradox, having to go through<br />
the darkest of times to see the light and experiencing many contradictions in feelings, deeds,<br />
wishes, just like seen in the previous four triturations.<br />
- It is difficult to get to the light, that is why the darkness feels like isolation to me,<br />
because I can not see it right. (8/C5)<br />
- I am in the darkness and I feel isolated, there is just one beam of light. (8/C5)<br />
There is resistance to go through darkness because it is brought on by someone’s cruelty.<br />
Someone’s cruelty brings on the darkness, a darkness that is so hard to bear that someone has<br />
no choice but to grief intensely and be consumed with anger, like we see in the proving.<br />
Most of the above mention feelings are reflected in the fairy tale “Sleeping Beauty”. In the<br />
next page two pages I explain the links between the proving and the fairy tale. The text used<br />
for this is that of Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch.<br />
29 Paradox (disambiguation).<br />
A paradox is an apparently true statement or group of statements that seems to lead to a contradiction or to a situation that defies intuition.<br />
Typically, the statements in question do not really imply the contradiction, the puzzling result is not really a contradiction, or the premises<br />
themselves are not all really true or cannot all be true together. The recognition of ambiguities, equivocations, and un stated assumptions<br />
underlying known paradoxes has led to significant advances in science, philosophy and mathematics. Wikipedia encyclopedia<br />
59
“Sleeping Beauty”<br />
Painting by Maxfield Parrish: Sleeping Beauty (A Bella Adormecida) – 1912 30<br />
30 For paragraph references, see “Sleeping Beauty” appendix B, page 106<br />
60
Comments about “Sleeping Beauty” in relation to the trituration proving<br />
In the fairy tale there are contradictions in which we see that a family that could wish nothing<br />
else was in grief because they did not have a child (paragraph 2). Another one could be that in<br />
a palace where everything runs around the princess, at the time of the unfortunate event there<br />
is no one around to save her completely from her fate (paragraph 17-23). Instead of dying she<br />
would fall into a deep sleep, which to her father the king, this sounded like “cold comfort at<br />
the best” (paragraph 14). It is interesting to see that this sensation of coldness is seen<br />
throughout the proving as well.<br />
All of these elements we find in the fairy tale “Sleeping Beauty” where as in history, a family<br />
who has and enjoys everything, lives happily in light (paragraph 1) is brought cruelly into<br />
darkness by someone who has issues, in the fairy tale’s case the Fairy Uglyane 31 , who curses<br />
the young Princess Aurora to die by piercing her hand with a spindle; bringing her<br />
unexpectedly from light into darkness for many, many years (Paragraph 11). This reflects the<br />
element of the unexpected that we see in the proving, where there is resistance to go on<br />
because of the fear of misfortune, fear of what it about to come. Once in the darkness you can<br />
not do anything but wait, wait to see the glimpse of light, like Princess Aurora had to wait for<br />
the prince to come by and break the spell. We can all imagine how such state can give us the<br />
feeling of isolation, being by your self in the darkness not being able to get help from anyone.<br />
Another curious link between this fairy tale and the proving is the “sleeping sickness”<br />
(paragraph 31) where everyone sleeps deeply. In the proving we see an extreme feeling of<br />
tiredness with great need for sleep, wanting to go to sleep. This sleep symbolized death, as it<br />
is experienced by the Prince when he first enters the castle to rescue Princess Aurora<br />
(paragraph 40-42).<br />
The other similarity between the tale and the proving is the hunger everyone experiences on<br />
waking up, they all think of food (end paragraph 49 & 50), even the Queen herself who was<br />
first devastated by the events.<br />
The fairy tale shows that at the end, if you do dare to suffer the darkness as it comes, the light<br />
will show itself sooner or later, but even then there will be less joyful events, as these all<br />
belong to life itself and can not be avoided. The Princess and Prince lived happily ever after<br />
but had to see their fathers die of old age (paragraph 42-58).<br />
31 “The Sleeping Beauty and other Fairy Tales” at 1910 by Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch (1863-1944)<br />
61
3j. List of symptoms after one single dose of Lapis Lazuli C40/4<br />
On May 11 th 2005 we potentize the remedy up to C30/4 and then C40/4 by hand according to<br />
the Korsakov method. After this most of the provers take one single dose (one drop) of the<br />
C40/4 remedy. Provers 1, 2 and 12 do not take it, they are afraid of the reaction. Only a few<br />
provers send in their experiences after taking the remedy.<br />
Observations & mentioned reactions at the time<br />
- Provers look young and fresh.<br />
- Accelerated heartbeat – feeling a rush of energy on the chest.<br />
- Feeling that thyroid works faster, feeling of hurry.<br />
- The letters in the paper seem to dance & feeling of hurry.<br />
- There is a lot of humor, people teasing each other.<br />
Mental Symptoms<br />
- Feeling of not being here anymore, having lost yourself (1, 8) 32<br />
- My relationship with this remedy is that of love/hate. It attracts me but I am afraid of<br />
its dark side. (3)<br />
- I feel courageous or coward. I postpone things that I do not like but they keep coming<br />
back. Then I feel that I need to confront them. I feel like a warrior before the battle. (3)<br />
- I wake up singing ‘Let it be´ by the Beatles and need to listen to it many times on<br />
waking – feeling of unity and trust (3)<br />
- I feel moved by provers 3 story with the Beatles, it is about mother Mary. In one of the<br />
sessions with a patient I drew something in an intuitive manner; a dark blue bow<br />
appeared with the contours of mother Mary beside it. It feels like we can now contact<br />
this high and healing entity, please read “Let it be” (8)<br />
- I have the feeling of overview in my life, I feel relaxed, like an old soul, feel the<br />
wisdom, the emotions get quieter. Things are like they are, that is nature! Even if it<br />
means that I shall loose loved ones. I shall miss them but it won’t destroy me. All the<br />
contradictions in my life are clear now. If there is something very beautiful, something<br />
horrible will follow, this is nature’s law; I accept it and embrace it. I have a terrible<br />
need to mother others; I am not a mother so I play mother with my parents and friends.<br />
(13)<br />
- Trying not to make room for those deeper feelings that you would rather suppress (15)<br />
- Strong need to suppress emotions (15)<br />
- Sympathy towards those who suffer (15)<br />
- Anger about trifles, be nice, let it be, function from a higher perspective (15)<br />
- Superficial attitude towards cruel events & emotions that these bring up (15)<br />
Prophecy<br />
- A Hurricane coming to America from China (11) – this was in May 2005, Katrina<br />
stroke the USA in August 2005.<br />
32 Prover 1 did not take the single dose C40/4 but still produced some symptoms<br />
62
Physical Symptoms<br />
Back<br />
Heart<br />
Fever<br />
- Pain in lumbar region, very sudden and violent. The pain extends to abdomen,<br />
abdomen feels distended and stagnated. < Sitting > Lying down (1)<br />
- Lumbar pain, sensation of constriction in pelvis > motion. It feels like a cystitis, I<br />
wonder if I have one (5)<br />
- Pain in lower back, feeling as if it split in two. Burning pain. After a week I still have<br />
the feeling of a lump or a stone in the lumbar region (8)<br />
- Cervical and lumbar region cold and stiff (15 16)<br />
- Lower back aches, have to do with suppressed anger and not making room for what<br />
you really need to express (15)<br />
- Pain in lower back with stitching pain in bladder (16)<br />
- Palpitations & cold hands and feet (8)<br />
- Palpitations with the feeling that heart jumps up with shocks through the body (16)<br />
- Palpitations with excitement (16)<br />
- Coming on at the end of the day (16)<br />
- Fever with an ice cold feeling inside and hot skin, warmth of bed does not > (16)<br />
Dreams<br />
- Can not remember, woke up singing “Let it be” the Beatles (3)<br />
- I am walking around the Church’s yard, someone is being followed and shot at, and he<br />
dies. I become afraid and hide behind a small building with a little porch. I am<br />
convinced that I can not be seen. I am afraid the shooter is going to shoot more people.<br />
I feel save and think I am not seen, then someone I know comes by and asks: are you<br />
coming? And then I ask: How do you know I was there? He could see me from the<br />
distance, I had made a mistake (5)<br />
- Someone does not want to believe what I am telling, denies what I did and tells the<br />
story wrong, I feel powerless. When she keeps on denying and pointing at me I bite<br />
her on the finger because I feel powerless. The bite is so hard that I can taste the blood<br />
in the dream. I feel like I want to squeeze her, this does not happen. (5)<br />
- I am giving birth with 3 other women. The contours of the baby could be felt through<br />
my skin. Then I sit straight up and feel the head between my legs. The child looks at<br />
me and I know that it is a boy. (8)<br />
63
“The Mother Mary”<br />
34 Symbolism<br />
Mosaic by Sano di Pietro Painting “Mother and child” Sano di Pietro 33<br />
The Virgin mother is the prima materia, the matrix, the virgin earth, the bearer of light,<br />
transforming power; she is symbolized by the tree, flowers and fruits.<br />
Virgin goddesses are not necessarily “virgo intacta” but unwed, free. Their chief symbols are<br />
the moon and the serpent. Virgin birth is the union of the divine and the human, heaven and<br />
earth, which results in the birth of God or superior being. It also symbolizes the birth of<br />
intelligence, or the higher faculties in men. The Great Mother, Queen of Heaven, is a virgin<br />
and her son is born of the spirit of the will, or she is born of her own son, symbolizing original<br />
identity.<br />
The Christian Virgin Mary is associated with a number of symbols; all enclosed places such<br />
as the walled garden; sealed fountain, the Ark, the living spring; also with the “living bush”<br />
from the burning bush, a place of divine manifestation; the closed gate and the gate of heaven,<br />
the light cloud, pure and unattached from which blessing falls in spiritual rain; the untilled<br />
soil of Eden; the never extinguished lamp, a bridge leading to heaven, a ladder by which<br />
Christ descended to earth; Star of the sea, and many other attributes.<br />
35<br />
The great Mother’s archetype<br />
The Great Mother, however, can frighten as well as sustain. Nothing is quite as unnerving as<br />
watching the Moon transformed from the nurturing light in the midnight sky into a black disk<br />
cutting away the light of the sun during an eclipse. Mother Earth may sustain the crops, but<br />
Mother Earth can generate terrible forces--earthquakes, floods and volcanic eruptions. Our<br />
primitive psyches enshrine the ecstasy of hunger banished by mother's breast, but we also<br />
33 Sano di Pietro: Italian Early Renaissance Painter, 1406-1481<br />
34 J.C Cooper “ An Illustrated encyclopaedia of traditional symbols” p 186<br />
35 Jung, C. G. (1969). Four archetypes: Mother/rebirth/spirit/trickster Princeton, NJ p 9, 26<br />
64
harbour dark shadows of her absence, of her inability to make everything better. The Great<br />
Mother not only pours her love out upon the earth, but she also generates an image in our<br />
shadow, smothering, devouring, implacable, and too terrible to contemplate.<br />
This is the mother-love which is one of the most moving and unforgettable memories of our<br />
lives, the mysterious root of all growth and change; the love that means homecoming, shelter,<br />
and the long silence from which everything begins and in which everything ends. Intimately<br />
known and yet strange like Nature, lovingly tender and yet cruel like fate, joyous and untiring<br />
giver of life--mater dolorosa and mute implacable portal that closes upon the dead. Mother is<br />
mother-love, my experience and my secret. Why risk saying too much, too much that is false<br />
and inadequate and beside the point, about that human being who was our mother, the<br />
accidental carrier of that great experience which includes herself and myself and all mankind,<br />
and indeed the whole of created nature, the experience of life whose children we are? The<br />
attempt to say these things has always been made, and probably always will be; but a sensitive<br />
person cannot in all fairness load that enormous burden of meaning, responsibility, duty,<br />
heaven and hell, on to the shoulders of one frail and fallible human being--so deserving of<br />
love, indulgence, understanding, and forgiveness--who was our mother. He knows that the<br />
mother carries for us that inborn image of the mater natura and mater spiritualis, of the<br />
totality of life of which we are a small and helpless part.<br />
The Nourishing Mother 36 The Soul Mother<br />
The Dark Mother<br />
36<br />
The Nourishing Mother: Building home, deep connection to family, community, and ones ancestral background<br />
The Soul Mother: Strong healing service.<br />
The Dark Mother: to honour the deep, passionate part of self.<br />
(www.jungianarchpsych.com/images)<br />
65
Mother Mary and Lapis Lazuli<br />
As seen in the beginning of this work (Chapter 2, 2d) the link between Lapis Lazuli and the<br />
Virgin Mary can not be denied. Most of the paintings of the Mother Mary in history have<br />
been painted with ultramarine blue 37 , made out of Lapis Lazuli.<br />
If we compare the symbolism of the Mother Mary with the proving information we see some<br />
links. The first is her transforming power and the bearer of light. In the trituration proving,<br />
levels C1-C4 we see death as the transformation process. In the higher potentized Lapis Mary<br />
appears as the transformation power. She brings light into darkness, she is the light bearer.<br />
She is often symbolized by the moon – the female principal – appear both in the level 4 of the<br />
trituration (Pr 8, 15, 18). Also symbols like old, big trees are mentioned in the proving, the<br />
rainforest (Pr 3, 4, 8).<br />
There is also a link mentioned between heaven and earth, which are complementary but<br />
opposite, the birth of a superior being or the higher intelligence of mankind. This we can link<br />
to the proving at the higher levels when some of the provers feel a sensation of arising above<br />
all the problems and seeing everything from a higher perspective (see list of mental<br />
symptoms, page 32).<br />
It seems so that Mary is the highest female symbol for the light, reaching the wisdom to<br />
overcome the worst of darkness periods. The spiritual feelings during the proving might be<br />
linked directly to her and not so much to Jesus himself as he is not mentioned at all. The<br />
provers mention bells, sacristy, nature, high mountains and trees, some of these being directly<br />
Mother Mary’s symbols.<br />
It is quite amazing to see that in the proving the song “Let it be” comes up where it literally<br />
mentions Mother Mary as a comfort and source of light. The analysis of the song’s lyrics is<br />
found at the end of the “Let it be” text.<br />
37 Some examples of European / Dutch colour symbolism Blue: sincerity, loyalty, melancholy, heavenly<br />
(http://www.dutchflowerlink.nl/engels/Lessons/esthetics/color/color.htm)<br />
66
Let it be<br />
The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)<br />
When I find myself in times of trouble<br />
Mother Mary comes to me<br />
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.<br />
And in my hour of darkness<br />
she is standing right in front of me<br />
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.<br />
Let it be, let it be.<br />
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. 1<br />
And when the broken hearted people<br />
Living in the world agree,<br />
There will be an answer, let it be.<br />
For though they may be parted there is<br />
Still a chance that they will see<br />
There will be an answer, let it be.<br />
Let it be, let it be. Yeah<br />
There will be an answer, let it be. 2<br />
And when the night is cloudy,<br />
There is still a light that shines on me,<br />
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.<br />
I wake up to the sound of music<br />
Mother Mary comes to me<br />
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.<br />
Let it be, let it be.<br />
There will be an answer, let it be.<br />
Let it be, let it be,<br />
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be 3<br />
Analysis<br />
Verse 1: In this part of the song it literally says that when things do not go right the source of<br />
light appears, she brings comfort and light in the hour of darkness.<br />
Mother Mary is telling that “letting it be” is the answer to the problem. Letting it be being the<br />
opposite of dwelling and trying to fight things, suppression. Letting things happen, letting<br />
things come as they are. Not fighting, not resisting.<br />
The listener, the son that listens to Mother knows very well that what she is telling is what<br />
needs to be done.<br />
Verse 2: When there is unity in people that have been hurt, this probably meaning to<br />
sympathize with each other instead of blaming or hating others the solution to the darkness<br />
will show itself. This applies even to the ones that have already departed; the dead ones.<br />
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Verse 3: The message here seems to refer to “cloudy nights” or times when things are not<br />
clear, when you do not know the answer, when you hesitate or experience some dilemmas.<br />
There will still be glimpse of light shining to show you the way, also tomorrow there will be<br />
that light, there is always hope. Music might be a way to let go of thoughts and fears and in<br />
this letting go, you will see the light at the end and find the solution.<br />
Another thing I would like to add to this, is that while looking at the title of the song I realised<br />
that it also symbolizes the kind of dilemma seen in the Lapis Lazuli proving. The person is so<br />
hurt and so damaged that can not let go of things and that creates the illness.<br />
LET ----------------------------- IT ----------------------------------------- BE<br />
Letting (Neutral terrain) being<br />
To be able to just BE, you need to be able to let go; like it is mentioned in many holistic and<br />
naturals healing arts where the mental, emotional and physical state are all related. In<br />
meditation this is a common practice. Thinking of this I found a very interesting text that also<br />
confirms that in Lapis, the incapability to let go of anger, fear and pain can lead to illness.<br />
Letting Go<br />
Simple Tips to Staying in Balance<br />
By Petrene Soames, author of The Essence of Self-Healing 38<br />
An important part of becoming healthy and staying in balance is letting go of tension, stress<br />
and deeply buried or surface negative emotions such as anger, frustration, fear, hurt, pain and<br />
hate. I mentioned these so-called negative emotions because I have not yet found anyone who<br />
was ill or out of balance because he or she was living in or holding onto an abundance of joy<br />
and love. However, people are often ill because of the loss of joy and love from their lives;<br />
some have never known either of these emotions.<br />
Although I always look at each person as a unique individual being, and never apply<br />
generalities to anyone, it is possible to recognize patterns and links between some illnesses<br />
and certain emotions or mix of emotions. For example, lower backache, cancer, rheumatism,<br />
and irritable bowel syndrome are often linked with holding on to anger, pain and fear. I'm not<br />
suggesting that these illnesses are not very real in the body, but that letting go of these<br />
emotions is necessary to initiate and to allow the healing process to move towards completion.<br />
If you are in perfect health and shape you have found ways to let go already or not to hold on<br />
to what you do not need. You let go quite naturally. When you were young and carefree<br />
perhaps you let go of things more easily and never seemed to be ill; you were excited then and<br />
busy exploring life. There is some truth in the idea of not having time to be ill, a philosophy<br />
that works for many people. But as time goes by, letting go is often not so easy or<br />
spontaneous.<br />
Perhaps we simply do not make time for it; we get overloaded. Some people become more<br />
relaxed once again in their older years. They live life from a more relaxed perspective<br />
believing that the smaller events and problems that they used to worry about are no longer<br />
38 Based on The Essence of Self-Healing: How to bring health and happiness into your life (FleetStreet Publications - March 2001) by<br />
Petrene Soames (http://1stholistic.com/reading/liv_healing-letting-go-soames.htm)<br />
68
eally important: "Time is running out, might as well make the most of it!" Such sentiments<br />
are played then in their minds.<br />
3k. Summary of the symptoms of the Lapis Lazuli trituration: Level C1 to C4<br />
C1 – Physical Level<br />
• Ice coldness, especially extremities – sensation of being rubbed with peppermint oil<br />
• Stitching pains in heart region (associated with grief)<br />
• Burning sensations in eyes<br />
• Illusions of odors (Camphor, Peppermint, Chlorum, Gasoline etc)<br />
• Dryness of skin and mucus membranes & intense itching in skin<br />
• Nausea, belching and distension in abdomen – cramping pains with fears<br />
• Congestion, heat in head and face<br />
• Throat ache, sensation of lump in throat, can not swallow, dry cough & oppression<br />
• Deep tiredness, wanting to sleep, lack of energy<br />
• Heaviness of limbs, sluggishness<br />
C2 up to C4 Level – Mental, emotional & spiritual<br />
• Violent anger and quarreling – suppressed anger & cruelty<br />
• Explosive emotions<br />
• Fears – of misfortune & stomach ache<br />
• Boundaries – lack of and feeling your boundaries are not respected – breaking<br />
boundaries – freedom<br />
• Soberness – boundaries in emotions, dosing emotions to survive, perceiving<br />
environment without emotions. Indifference<br />
• Desire for cleaning & clearing up (old grievences come back)<br />
• Death – darkness, old people, cemeteries, saying good-bye to the world, loathing life,<br />
wishing death, light feeling (as if pulled upwards)<br />
• War – Jewish people dying, Hitler, concentration camps<br />
• Grief with pain in the heart region, grief is too hard and heavy, unbearable. Feeling of<br />
loneliness<br />
• Tiredness – not wanting to go on anymore, wanting to sleep<br />
• Concentration – forgetful, not concentrated, wandering thoughts vs sharpness of<br />
thoughts and senses<br />
• Spiritual feeling, rest, quietness, peace inside, timeless<br />
• Ego – separateness in humanity for seeing things from different dimensions, seeing<br />
different truths vs broad vision, seeing things from a wider perspective. Blaming<br />
others vs taking own full responsibility<br />
• Dreams – about every day tasks & cruelties. Sleep difficult; waking up many times<br />
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Other themes – less prominent<br />
• Animals and animal instincts – wolves, lions, snakes<br />
• Egypt, mummies<br />
• Sun & Moon<br />
• Sea, dark blue<br />
• Nature, big old trees, rainforest (related to mother MARY?)<br />
• Sexuality – sacrificing the male principle for the female<br />
Generals<br />
Ice cold (physical and mental/emotional) – lack of vital heat<br />
Alternating moods (happiness # sadness, active # dullness, depressed # light feeling)<br />
Intense and quick symptoms<br />
Dryness – mucus and skin<br />
Desire for color blue<br />
Sluggishness – heavy feeling in limbs, lack of energy<br />
Summarizing the proving by linking the main themes of mental and the physical level<br />
As I try to make a round circle in the proving information I can say that the Lapis shows us<br />
clearly what it is about. We see different symptoms at each level and these are no more than a<br />
deeper understanding of the same feeling or its possible origins.<br />
There seem to be very strong emotions. These strong emotions are mostly anger and sadness.<br />
The anger is most prominently accompanied by abdomen complaints, like cramping pains.<br />
Also heat in the head and other parts is seen as an expression of this anger. And the sadness<br />
with palpitations of the heart and stitching pains in this area.<br />
There is also a heavy, hard feeling and fear and anxiety of the violence of these experiences.<br />
This reflects physically on the heavy and tired feeling in limbs and general loss of energy.<br />
It seems so that the pain has been so hard and so heavy that to be able to bear it, it has to be<br />
either ignored or suppressed initially. These emotions at this time are old grievances that have<br />
been there for long. The suppressed pain is associated with war, concentration camps, death,<br />
leaving home and saying good-bye to the dearest things. On a deeper level we see<br />
indifference and a wish for death. This indifference or emotionless state is associated with<br />
extreme cold, which is also experienced physically. The coldness brings on associations with<br />
ice bergs, cold Northern countries and even Auschwitz in winter, which has a link with the<br />
pain, loss, cold and emaciation and bones also mentioned during the proving.<br />
This remedy seems to bring up all kinds of old, suppressed dark feelings and brings them into<br />
the light, where one can deal with them and get rid of them for good. This seems to be a form<br />
of “cleaning up”, this is how it is experienced by the provers and it is literally told in this way.<br />
Also literal cleaning sessions have taken place at some prover’s homes.<br />
The anger seems to be related to a feeling of not being heard or understood, a feeling that<br />
someone is crossing the border, it is all going beyond what you can understand and tolerate.<br />
This can lead to introspection later on, as the person feels that there is no point in trying. The<br />
bonds and borders come back in the proving in the form of animal feelings and wanting to<br />
break ties. The ultimate way of breaking ties is death itself, which is also a big theme in this<br />
trituration.<br />
70
The sadness seems to be also a part of feeling lonely and having the feeling not to belong<br />
here, being estranged, having to leave, and say good-bye. The prominent nausea can be<br />
related to the feeling that someone is so bad, so cruel, so beyond the human understanding<br />
that makes one sick. This can be explained better at the C5-level of the trituration. (See 3i)<br />
At a deeper level we see a swift in these feelings. What was death and end, feels like a<br />
transformation process, there is calmness and quietness and a sense of a base, no fear.<br />
The anger and the feeling that the boundaries are being crossed are replaced by understanding<br />
selfishness and ego, and letting go of this for a wider understanding. A whole understanding<br />
that would mean having no borders.<br />
3l. The Essence of Lapis Lazuli<br />
The Essence of Lapis Lazuli according to what is seen through the trituration.<br />
It is not always easy to describe the essence of a substance with a few sentences. At this point<br />
I find it necessary to give a description of the essence as I have learned it through<br />
summarizing this proving. I hope that these words will help you remember the striking<br />
characteristics of Lapis Lazuli making the recognition in practice a bit easier for you and your<br />
colleagues.<br />
The essence of this remedy:<br />
A sudden misfortune brought on by someone’s cruelty or something (fate/mother nature); this<br />
cruelty that goes beyond all human boundaries and understanding causes the deepest of grief<br />
and anger, bringing on a state of almost total darkness; this darkness also being a metaphor for<br />
death. It is so painful that it kills something in you and you resent and blame that person for it,<br />
because it all goes beyond the human understanding. The pain seems to involve mainly family<br />
members, loved ones, the mother, children, losing your loved ones.<br />
These feelings of grief and anger can be so hard to bear that need to be suppressed to the<br />
deepest, maybe also because of a feeling of responsibility towards the human existence, being<br />
able to go on with everyday tasks. In this suppression there is a tendency to act superficially<br />
or focus on unimportant things, not to look at the truth lying underneath. The suppression can<br />
be the cause of instability and therefore alternating states sadness, isolation, and anger.<br />
But why does this happen? I think that it is just part of life. What goes around comes around.<br />
There are times of abundance, when we take things for granted and focus on the trivial things<br />
in life, forgetting what really is essential. A cruel event can bring you to the most essential in<br />
matter of minutes, a survivor of the Katrina who had lost everything material said on TV: this<br />
hurricane has taught me that I can live with nothing. I think that the reaction to this can be<br />
either confronting the pain and going on (if you do not know darkness, can never appreciate<br />
the light) or you get stuck with it get bitter and eventually become cruel yourself.<br />
An example for this would be the life of Jewish people being pretty happy until Hitler decided<br />
to go after them. During Hitler’s time many families were torn, fathers, mothers and children<br />
were separated, tortured, killed. I have always wondered, why Jews? Why them? Maybe it is<br />
just pure coincidence, being at the wrong place at the wrong time but after this remedy’s<br />
proving I thought that maybe it was something they needed because they were heading down<br />
71
the wrong road. It is widely known that Jews have always been wealthy; maybe they were<br />
focussing too much on this and taking things for granted? We will never know..<br />
Also the fairy tale “Sleeping Beauty” shows a similar situation between the Princess’s family<br />
and the fairy Uglyane. Someone’s cruelty that goes beyond human understanding brings on<br />
darkness and death at some unexpected time in your happy life. Here we see how the daughter<br />
is taken away from her parents and put into the darkness.<br />
Rajan Sankaran writes in his book “The Sensation in Homeopathy” 39 that:<br />
• Sensation and action are equal and opposite: actions are equal to what we perceive is<br />
happening to us.<br />
• The opposite is equally true of what is said: sensitivity, we mention the things that are<br />
issues to us and therefore means we are sensitive to these.<br />
• There is no one or nothing out there other than myself: we only perceive that what we<br />
are sensitive to; other things we may not perceive at all.<br />
If all of these are true we can assume that Lapis Lazuli does not only have a sensation of<br />
being the victim of cruelty but also is cruel to others or would want to be cruel to others.<br />
“I do not have or feel warmth, nurture, love, so I shall make sure that nobody else around me<br />
does”.<br />
The sensitivity of Lapis lies within the issues of cruelty (towards oneself and family), getting<br />
warmth/love and nurture. The reaction to these sensations could be active, passive or<br />
compensated. In the active reaction we would see someone being cruel to others; the passive<br />
would be compassion and the compensation could be constant fighting against cruelty. In the<br />
trituration proving itself we see suppressed aggression (cruelty), some sort of sympathy and<br />
the feeling of something being unfair and feeling the need to quarrel about it. These<br />
symptoms confirm Sankaran’s theory.<br />
39 Rajan Sankaran “The sensation in Homeopathy” p 123-138<br />
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Chapter 4<br />
Other provings of Lapis Lazuli: Schadde (Germany) & Tumminello (Australia)<br />
40<br />
4a. The proving of Lapis Lazuli by Anne Schadde<br />
The substance used: 2 grains of raw, untreated piece of dark blue Lapis Lazuli containing a<br />
few pyrites. Origin: Afghanistan.<br />
Method: the substance was triturated up to C3 and succussed up to C30. <strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian<br />
proving.<br />
Proving: the substance was proved in 1999. The C30 potency was taken by 12 provers (8<br />
women & 4 men).<br />
4b. A summary of the main symptoms: proving of Lapis Lazuli by Anne Schadde<br />
Mind themes<br />
• Stupefaction with vertigo 4 pm > lying down, when thinking and acting slowly, with<br />
the sensation of excessive pressure in the head.<br />
• Relating to the rest of the world: feeling of connection inside and outside or sensation<br />
of being disconnected from the world.<br />
• Fear: Fear of water, rain, of malignant disease, of being hurt and the next symptoms<br />
coming up.<br />
• Being rushed:<br />
Feeling rushed cause of a trip or feeling less rushed than usual.<br />
• Gestures:<br />
Raising eyebrows while talking, as gesture of emphasis, face is very red.<br />
• Greed: Feeling that I overate with a huge stone in belly. I feel gluttonous when I see<br />
something edible.<br />
• Inhibition:<br />
I feel inhibited because I can not sing very well. I am worried that others<br />
will realise I am off key, with heart palpitations.<br />
• Concentration: Concentration better than usual or mental exhaustion and lack of<br />
concentration with great fatigue.<br />
• Nervousness: Suddenly very nervous, tremble from inside with shaky hands as if very<br />
agitated. Exhausted and irritated.<br />
• Order & Structure:<br />
Desire for order and mental clarity. Urgent desire to rearrange the<br />
house, to organize, clean the entire house.<br />
• Prophecy – premonition:<br />
Premonitory dreams. Predicts time of death.<br />
• Retreat, inward and desire to be by oneself:<br />
Aversion to conversations. Desire to be<br />
alone. Nagging at night with family with the desire to be alone, total aversion to<br />
company.<br />
• Desire:<br />
longing for something, do not know what.<br />
• Changing mood:<br />
euphoria # depression. Extremely angry, I imagine how I strangle<br />
someone.<br />
• Sluggishness: General sluggishness of body and mind, heaviness of limbs > after<br />
getting up. I deliberately do one thing after the other. In this state I am communicative;<br />
40 Anne Schadde & Jürgen Hansel “Listening to Stone, Wood and Shell” p 15-72. Please read the book for more detailed information about<br />
the symptoms.<br />
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my thought process is slow, while my general mood is cheerful. I enjoy my leisure<br />
time, no sign of hastiness.<br />
• Grief/sorrow/weeping:<br />
Terribly sad and cry a lot. I feel abandoned and sad, am<br />
annoyed by my self-pity. Communication with friends has ceased as well.<br />
• Unyielding: Less yielding, more consequent.<br />
• Commitment, lack of:<br />
I think that my tolerance towards others is really only a lack of<br />
commitment. I do not get involved enough with people and things.<br />
• No defence:<br />
I can not defend myself, can’t hold my own.<br />
• Rage/Anger: Jumped out of my skin, I even slapped my son in the face. That is<br />
extremely rare; I apologized later.<br />
4c. Rubrics of Mind Symptoms<br />
41<br />
MIND - ABSENTMINDED<br />
MIND - ANGER<br />
MIND - ANXIETY - pains, from the - Heart; in the<br />
MIND - AWKWARD - drops things<br />
MIND - CLAIRVOYANCE<br />
MIND - COMPANY - aversion to<br />
MIND - CONCENTRATION - active<br />
MIND - CONCENTRATION - difficult<br />
MIND - CONSCIENTIOUS about trifles<br />
MIND - CONVERSATION - agg.<br />
MIND - DEATH - presentiment of<br />
MIND - DELUSIONS - pregnant, she is<br />
MIND - DELUSIONS - starve - being starved<br />
MIND - DELUSIONS - starve - family will<br />
MIND - DESIRES - full of desires - indefinite<br />
MIND - FEAR - disease, of impending<br />
MIND - FEAR - hurt, of being<br />
MIND - FEAR - rain, of<br />
MIND - FEAR - starving, of<br />
MIND - FEAR - water, of<br />
MIND - FORSAKEN feeling - isolation; sensation of<br />
MIND - HAUGHTY<br />
MIND - IMPATIENCE - contradiction; at slightest<br />
MIND - INDIFFERENCE<br />
MIND - INDIFFERENCE - sleepiness, with<br />
MIND - IRRITABILITY<br />
MIND - IRRITABILITY - conversation, from<br />
MIND - IRRITABILITY - spoken to, when<br />
MIND - IRRITABILITY - talking - while<br />
MIND - MEMORY - weakness of memory - expressing oneself, for<br />
MIND - MEMORY - weakness of memory - words; for<br />
MIND - MISTAKES; making - speaking, in<br />
MIND - OFFENDED, easily<br />
MIND - QUIET disposition<br />
MIND - QUIET; wants to be<br />
MIND - RETIREMENT; desire for<br />
41 List of rubrics taken out RADAR version 9.1 – Dutch version<br />
74
MIND - SADNESS<br />
MIND - SADNESS - causeless<br />
MIND - TACITURN<br />
MIND - TRANQUILLITY<br />
MIND - WEEPING - cannot weep, though sad<br />
MIND - WEEPING - suddenly<br />
MIND - YIELDING disposition<br />
Rubrics of Physical Symptoms<br />
VERTIGO - VERTIGO<br />
VERTIGO - MORNING - waking, on<br />
VERTIGO - ACCOMPANIED BY - epistaxis<br />
VERTIGO - ACCOMPANIED BY - Head - pain in head<br />
VERTIGO - BALANCING; sensation of<br />
VERTIGO - PERSPIRATION<br />
VERTIGO - ROCKING - as if<br />
VERTIGO - WEATHER - cold<br />
HEAD - ERUPTIONS - itching<br />
HEAD - ERUPTIONS - scales<br />
HEAD - ERUPTIONS - scurfy<br />
HEAD - ERUPTIONS - Margin of hair<br />
HEAD - HAIR - falling<br />
HEAD - HEAT<br />
HEAD - HEAT - contradiction, from<br />
HEAD - HEAVINESS - Forehead<br />
HEAD - ITCHING of scalp - Occiput<br />
HEAD - NOISES in head<br />
HEAD - PAIN - morning - waking, on<br />
HEAD - PAIN - accompanied by - nausea<br />
HEAD - PAIN - air - open - amel.<br />
HEAD - PAIN - cold - air - amel.<br />
HEAD - PAIN - cold - applications - amel.<br />
HEAD - PAIN - rubbing - amel.<br />
HEAD - PAIN - sleep - after - amel.<br />
HEAD - PAIN - walking - air - open; in the - while - amel.<br />
HEAD - PAIN - Forehead, in - right side<br />
HEAD - PAIN - Forehead, in - Eyes - Above<br />
HEAD - PAIN - Occiput<br />
HEAD - PAIN - Occiput - left<br />
HEAD - PAIN - Occiput - extending to - Head - Over whole head<br />
HEAD - PAIN - Sides - right<br />
HEAD - PAIN - Vertex<br />
HEAD - PAIN - pressing<br />
HEAD - PAIN - pressing - Forehead<br />
HEAD - PAIN - stitching - Occiput<br />
HEAD - PAIN - stitching - Occiput - morning - waking, on<br />
HEAD - RAISE THE HEAD - unable to<br />
HEAD - TIRED feeling<br />
EYE - FALLING - out; as if eyes were falling<br />
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EYE - INFLAMMATION - Conjunctiva<br />
EYE - ITCHING<br />
EYE - LACHRYMATION<br />
EYE - LACHRYMATION - pain, from - eye, in<br />
EYE - PAIN - weeping; as after<br />
EYE - TIRED EXPRESSION<br />
VISION - DIM<br />
EAR - HEAT - sensation of<br />
EAR - NOISES in<br />
EAR - NOISES in - left<br />
EAR - NOISES in - sitting, while<br />
EAR - NOISES in - waking, on<br />
EAR - NOISES in - pulsating, throbbing<br />
EAR - NOISES in - rushing<br />
EAR - NOISES in - whistling<br />
EAR - NOISES in - whistling - right<br />
EAR - NOISES in - whistling - left<br />
EAR - PAIN<br />
EAR - PAIN - blowing nose, on<br />
NOSE - CORYZA<br />
NOSE - CORYZA - air - draft of; from a<br />
NOSE - CORYZA - cold - air - agg.<br />
NOSE - CORYZA - discharge, with<br />
NOSE - DISCHARGE - bloody - morning - blowing nose, on<br />
NOSE - DISCHARGE - yellow<br />
NOSE - EPISTAXIS<br />
NOSE - EPISTAXIS - morning<br />
NOSE - EPISTAXIS - morning - bed, in - waking, on<br />
NOSE - EPISTAXIS - blowing - nose; the<br />
NOSE - EPISTAXIS - exertion, from<br />
NOSE - EPISTAXIS - headache - during<br />
NOSE - OBSTRUCTION<br />
NOSE - OBSTRUCTION - discharge - with<br />
NOSE - PAIN - burning, smarting - Nostrils<br />
NOSE - PAIN - burning, smarting - Root - Inside<br />
NOSE - PERSPIRATION on<br />
NOSE - SNEEZING - morning - waking, on<br />
FACE - CRACKED - Lips<br />
FACE - CRACKED - Lips - Lower<br />
FACE - DISCOLORATION - pale<br />
FACE - DISCOLORATION - red<br />
FACE - DRYNESS - Lips<br />
FACE - ERUPTIONS - acne - rosacea<br />
FACE - ERUPTIONS - boils - Chin<br />
FACE - ERUPTIONS - crusty, scabby - Mouth - Corners of<br />
FACE - ERUPTIONS - red - Nose, on<br />
FACE - ERUPTIONS - rough - Lips<br />
FACE - ERUPTIONS - Nose<br />
FACE - FORMICATION<br />
FACE - FORMICATION - Lips<br />
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FACE - HEAT<br />
FACE - HEAT - headache, with<br />
FACE - HEAT - sensation of<br />
FACE - PAIN - Eye - Below<br />
FACE - PAIN - Jaw<br />
FACE - PAIN - Jaw - Lower<br />
FACE - PAIN - Jaw - Upper<br />
FACE - PAIN - burning - Lips<br />
FACE - PERSPIRATION<br />
MOUTH - CRAWLING - Palate<br />
MOUTH - DRYNESS<br />
MOUTH - DRYNESS - thirst, with<br />
MOUTH - DRYNESS - thirstless<br />
MOUTH - ERUPTIONS - vesicles - Tongue - Tip<br />
MOUTH - INFLAMMATION - Gums<br />
MOUTH - NUMBNESS<br />
MOUTH - NUMBNESS - Palate<br />
MOUTH - PAIN - Tongue - motion agg.<br />
MOUTH - PAIN - burning - Tongue<br />
MOUTH - SALIVATION - night<br />
MOUTH - SPEECH - difficult - weakness; from<br />
MOUTH - TASTE - metallic<br />
MOUTH - TASTE - wanting, tastelessness of food<br />
THROAT - PAIN<br />
THROAT - PAIN - right<br />
THROAT - PAIN - left - extending to - right<br />
THROAT - PAIN - cold - air<br />
THROAT - PAIN - cold - becoming, on<br />
THROAT - PAIN - drinks - cold<br />
THROAT - PAIN - scratching<br />
THROAT - PAIN - sore - accompanied by - coryza<br />
THROAT - PAIN - stitching<br />
THROAT - PAIN - stitching - swallowing, on - empty, on<br />
EXTERNAL THROAT - PAIN - Cervical glands<br />
EXTERNAL THROAT - SWELLING - Cervical Glands<br />
EXTERNAL THROAT - SWELLING - Thyroid gland<br />
STOMACH - APPETITE - ravenous<br />
STOMACH - APPETITE - wanting<br />
STOMACH - EMPTINESS<br />
STOMACH - FULLNESS, sensation of<br />
STOMACH - HEARTBURN<br />
STOMACH - NAUSEA<br />
STOMACH - NAUSEA - cough - during<br />
STOMACH - THIRST<br />
STOMACH - VOMITING - coughing<br />
ABDOMEN - DISTENSION<br />
ABDOMEN - DISTENSION - painful<br />
ABDOMEN - FLATULENCE<br />
ABDOMEN - PAIN<br />
ABDOMEN - PAIN - walking - amel.<br />
77
ABDOMEN - PAIN - cramping<br />
ABDOMEN - PAIN - cutting - flatus - passing - amel.<br />
ABDOMEN - PAIN - cutting - Sides - right<br />
ABDOMEN - PAIN - drawing - Sides - right<br />
ABDOMEN - PAIN - stitching - Hypochondria - right<br />
ABDOMEN - RUMBLING<br />
RECTUM - DIARRHEA<br />
RECTUM - FLATUS - offensive<br />
RECTUM - FLATUS - offensive - eggs; spoiled<br />
RECTUM - HEMORRHAGE from anus<br />
RECTUM - HEMORRHAGE from anus - stool - after<br />
RECTUM - HEMORRHOIDS<br />
RECTUM - ITCHING<br />
RECTUM - ITCHING - warm bed, in<br />
RECTUM - PAIN - cutting - stool - during<br />
STOOL - BALLS, like<br />
STOOL - BLOODY<br />
STOOL - ODOR - offensive<br />
STOOL - ODOR - putrid<br />
STOOL - PASTY, papescent<br />
STOOL - SOFT<br />
STOOL - THIN<br />
BLADDER - PAIN - burning<br />
BLADDER - URGING to urinate - frequent<br />
KIDNEYS - PAIN - drawing - Region of<br />
MALE GENITALIA/SEX - SEXUAL DESIRE - increased<br />
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX - LEUKORRHEA<br />
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX - LEUKORRHEA - brown<br />
LARYNX AND TRACHEA - PAIN - burning - Throat-pit<br />
LARYNX AND TRACHEA - VOICE - hoarseness<br />
LARYNX AND TRACHEA - VOICE - nasal<br />
RESPIRATION - IMPEDED, obstructed<br />
COUGH - DRY<br />
COUGH - OPPRESSION; from - Chest; in<br />
CHEST - CEASES to beat; as if heart - would cease<br />
CHEST - CONSTRICTION<br />
CHEST - CONSTRICTION - waking - on<br />
CHEST - ERUPTIONS<br />
CHEST - ERUPTIONS - itching<br />
CHEST - PAIN - Heart - walking - amel.<br />
CHEST - PAIN - pressing - Heart<br />
CHEST - PAIN - sore - Heart<br />
CHEST - PAIN - stitching - Axilla<br />
CHEST - PAIN - stitching - Heart<br />
CHEST - PALPITATION of heart - vertigo, with<br />
CHEST - SWELLING - Axilla - Glands<br />
BACK - ERUPTIONS - fleabites, like<br />
BACK - ERUPTIONS - Cervical region<br />
BACK - ITCHING<br />
BACK - ITCHING - Cervical region<br />
78
BACK - ITCHING - Dorsal region - Scapulae - Between<br />
BACK - PAIN<br />
BACK - PAIN - lying - while<br />
BACK - PAIN - sitting - long, after<br />
BACK - PAIN - Cervical region<br />
BACK - PAIN - Cervical region - motion - head<br />
BACK - PAIN - Cervical region - turning head - right; to<br />
BACK - PAIN - Dorsal region<br />
BACK - PAIN - Dorsal region - motion - on<br />
BACK - PAIN - Lumbar region<br />
BACK - PAIN - Lumbar region - morning<br />
BACK - PAIN - Lumbar region - lying - while<br />
BACK - PAIN - Lumbar region - extending to - Hips<br />
BACK - PAIN - Sacral region<br />
BACK - PAIN - Sacral region - stooping, on<br />
BACK - PAIN - cramping - Dorsal region - Scapulae - right<br />
BACK - PAIN - cramping - Dorsal region - Scapulae - left<br />
BACK - PAIN - lancinating - Dorsal region<br />
BACK - PAIN - pressing<br />
BACK - PAIN - pressing - Dorsal region - Scapulae - Under<br />
BACK - PAIN - pressing - Dorsal region - Scapulae - Under - left<br />
BACK - PAIN - stitching - Cervical region<br />
BACK - PAIN - stitching - Cervical region - extending to - Head<br />
BACK - PAIN - stitching - Dorsal region<br />
BACK - PAIN - stitching - Dorsal region - Scapulae<br />
BACK - PAIN - stitching - Dorsal region - Scapulae - right<br />
BACK - TENSION - Cervical region<br />
EXTREMITIES - COLDNESS - Hands - vertigo, with<br />
EXTREMITIES - CRACKING in joints - Knee<br />
EXTREMITIES - DISCOLORATION - Nates - redness<br />
EXTREMITIES - DRYNESS - Hands<br />
EXTREMITIES - ERUPTIONS - Hand - red<br />
EXTREMITIES - FELON<br />
EXTREMITIES - HEAVINESS<br />
EXTREMITIES - ITCHING - Hand - Back of<br />
EXTREMITIES - NUMBNESS - Upper limbs - night<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Joints - rheumatic<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Upper limbs - morning<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Shoulder<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Shoulder - right<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Elbow<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Wrist<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Wrist - dislocation, as from<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Wrist - motion - on<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Fingers - Second<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Fingers - Second - Joints - Metacarpus<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Thumb<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Thumb - right<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Lower limbs - sciatica<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Nates<br />
79
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Hip - right<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Hip - motion - amel.<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Hip - sitting - while<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Hip - weather - wet<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Knee - motion<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Knee - rising - seat; from a<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Foot - walking - while<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Foot - Heel<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Toes - stepping, on<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Toes - First<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - Toes - First - left<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - burning - Thumb<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - burning - Hip<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - pressing - Toes - First<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - stitching - Shoulder - right<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - stitching - Knee<br />
EXTREMITIES - PAIN - stitching - Knee - motion, on - amel.<br />
EXTREMITIES - RESTLESSNESS - Lower limbs<br />
EXTREMITIES - TOTTERING gait<br />
EXTREMITIES - TREMBLING - anger, after<br />
EXTREMITIES - TREMBLING - Hand - holding objects - on holding objects<br />
EXTREMITIES - WEAKNESS - Knee<br />
CHILL - CHILL in general<br />
CHILL - EVENING<br />
CHILL - NIGHT<br />
CHILL - INTERNAL<br />
CHILL - PERSPIRATION - with perspiration; chill<br />
FEVER - SHIVERING, with<br />
PERSPIRATION - NIGHT<br />
PERSPIRATION - EXERTION - during slight<br />
SKIN - DRY<br />
SKIN – ITCHING<br />
Rubrics of General symptoms<br />
GENERALS - COLD - internal coldness with external heat<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - alcoholic drinks - desire<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - chicken - desire<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - chocolate - agg.<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - chocolate - desire<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - cucumbers - agg.<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - dry food - desire<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - milk - desire<br />
GENERALS - FOOD and DRINKS - vegetables - aversion - raw<br />
GENERALS - HEAT - sensation of<br />
GENERALS - HEAVINESS<br />
GENERALS - HEAVINESS - Externally<br />
GENERALS - HEAVINESS - Internally<br />
GENERALS - LIGHT - agg.<br />
GENERALS - MOTION - agg.<br />
80
GENERALS - MOTION - desire for<br />
GENERALS - PAIN - crushed, as if<br />
GENERALS - SLUGGISHNESS of the body<br />
GENERALS - TREMBLING - Internally<br />
GENERALS - WEAKNESS<br />
GENERALS - WEARINESS<br />
GENERALS - WEARINESS - morning<br />
GENERALS - WEARINESS - evening<br />
GENERALS - WEARINESS - eating - after<br />
GENERALS - WEARINESS - talking, after<br />
Sleep & Dreams<br />
SLEEP - DISTURBED - moon, at full<br />
SLEEP - LIGHT<br />
SLEEP - POSITION - impossible; lying<br />
SLEEP - SHORT<br />
SLEEP - WAKING - night - midnight - after<br />
SLEEP - WAKING - night - midnight - after - morning, toward<br />
SLEEP - WAKING - fright, as from<br />
SLEEP - WAKING - vertigo, from<br />
DREAMS - CHURCHES<br />
DREAMS - FALLING - abyss, into an<br />
DREAMS - FLOATING<br />
DREAMS - PROPHETIC<br />
DREAMS - WATER<br />
DREAMS – WITCHES<br />
42<br />
4d. Summary of the proving by Anne Schadde<br />
• Consolidation and disintegration:<br />
Symptoms of consolidation appear, like metal plate in the head, petrification, swelling<br />
of indurated lymph nodes and the matching dream about a lump in the breast. One<br />
prover dreamed that the substance was granite.<br />
There is also deep sadness leading to feelings of disintegration which showed itself in<br />
physical symptoms as joint is as if disintegrated, sensation of disintegration of the<br />
back and in delusions of transparency.<br />
• Lightness & heaviness:<br />
A sensation of heaviness appears repeatedly as in now I will petrify completely, the<br />
Colossus of Rhodes. It comes in constant fatigue, exhaustion, weakness. On the other<br />
hand the discrepancy between internal lightness and external heaviness and tiredness<br />
becomes apparent. It could be said that there is something tender, subtle versus<br />
rigidity, sluggishness, as well as slowness and lack of concentration, versus being<br />
rushed and nervous.<br />
• Womanliness, motherhood, pregnancy:<br />
Two provers express the sensation as if they were pregnant. The great mother, being<br />
pregnant, breast feeding, mother milk play a role in dreams as well, so does the above<br />
mentioned dream of the lump in the breast.<br />
• Religion:<br />
42 Anne Schadde “ Listening to Stone, Wood and Shell” p. 55-58<br />
81
We find religious symbolism in dreams about altars, paintings of saints, trip to Buddha<br />
and also about witches and heathen rituals for the great mother.<br />
• Order:<br />
Three different provers mentioned order and as a contrast clumsiness as an important<br />
theme. In the big picture it is of importance that the remedy brought up the things that<br />
were out of order: malfunctions of the car appeared, weaknesses in the organism<br />
surface.<br />
• Water and dryness:<br />
The water is mentioned as part of the synchronicity: the matching dreams about<br />
Noah’s Ark and animal Polonaise, as a contrast: dryness of the skin, lips, mouth, dry<br />
cough, coryza with running discharge, but also congestion of the nose.<br />
• Heat and cold:<br />
Sensation of heat combined with abundant perspiration in the face, cheeks, forehead,<br />
ears and the entire body, as well as dryness of the skin increased; also but less<br />
sensitivity to cold and sensations of coldness.<br />
• Disease pictures:<br />
Numbness, stiffness and trembling of the hands, arms as well as staggering gait,<br />
sagging in the knees when trying to walk, also the dream about shuffling gait 43 .<br />
Pain in limbs and rheumatic complaints.<br />
Four provers noticed heart disorders, including the sensation of cardiac arrest.<br />
Three different provers noticed various symptoms of vertigo and sounds in the ears.<br />
This included whistling high frequency sounds twice.<br />
Bleeding from the anus and bloody stool, nose bleeding complaints regarding the head<br />
as if vessels were rupturing.<br />
4e. The comments by provers and supervisors (before the substance was revealed):<br />
Prover 1<br />
I experience a strong discrepancy between inside and outside, between physical and<br />
mental/emotional.<br />
Aversion to talk, but also enjoyment in meeting and exchanging with others.<br />
I respond more sensitively to critics; I feel treated unfairly. But I also experience a lack of<br />
sensitivity and emotion, I am indifferent and observing.<br />
There was a non-specific longing and later the feeling of change and sometime euphoria.<br />
Physically I became more and more immobile: hip, knee, thumb (not being able to tackle<br />
something) with weight gain.<br />
I thought now I will petrify completely, I became more and more apathetic. I felt like the<br />
Colossus of Rhodes.<br />
There was a feeling that something was going to change, as if it was about to happen; certain<br />
clairvoyance, prophetic dreams, more sensitive in regards to myself and others.<br />
Prover 3<br />
Desire to retreat, I cleaned out the practice, cleaned the house. I spent one sleepless night<br />
because of the fire in the oven was not supposed to be out, that was very important to me.<br />
Followed by a dream:<br />
43 Ataxic gait -- Awkward, uncoordinated walking (http://teachmefinance.com/Scientific_Terms/ataxic_gait.html)<br />
82
Dream about the mountain of Ararat (where Noah’s ark landed). I am riding in a train, sharing<br />
a compartment with my family, there is an announcement: the weather forecast calls for<br />
strong winds on the way to Westland (?), please dress warm.<br />
I think to myself that such wind does not penetrate the walls of a train. I feel a breeze going<br />
through me in the dark. I can not see my children and my husband in the dark I apparently<br />
brought the wrong wardrobe for the trip. In the morning through the trees of a big forest I can<br />
see a mighty gigantic white mountain. It is the Ararat, how magnificent; I had no idea that this<br />
is where this trip brings us. It is way more beautiful than I had even imagined. The mountain<br />
is covered with pure snow. I cried out of happiness.<br />
Association: wind – flood- feeling the ark.<br />
She reported sudden moments of deep sadness “not even crying helps this state”, it is as if<br />
everything disintegrated.<br />
She cut her hair during the active phase of the remedy “as if cutting the umbilical cord”. Her<br />
periods of sadness improved after that. Physically she felt clearly better after cutting her hair.<br />
“I desire clarity and being grounded”.<br />
Supervisor of prover 3:<br />
“Everything prepares for something new. She has to create order”.<br />
Prover 4<br />
The radiator of our car explodes on Sunday after receiving the remedy. It turns out later that<br />
this was due to a defect in the construction of the radiator. The car is 12 years old and drove<br />
just fine, in spite of the defect.<br />
One week later, on another Sunday, I ran into a roadside ditch: the car was totalled. Nobody<br />
was injured.<br />
On another Sunday a waiter poured water over my shirt.<br />
Prover 8<br />
The remedy brings me closer to my true being, reliable and friendly on the other side,<br />
physically and mentally rigid on the other.<br />
It confronted me with my own rigid side. Listless and sluggish, rigid, no interest in<br />
cooperation.<br />
The remedy also inspires something very deep, genuine, tender and subtle inside of me, the<br />
dimensions of which I can only imagine, because defence, blockage and not-wanting to see<br />
dominate me.<br />
Prover 9<br />
I had a lot of technical problems in my house: can’t install the software, the phone does not<br />
work; I am cut off from the world.<br />
One night the toilet was running, I was not able to turn off the water. I had to ask a friend for<br />
help the same night, because I could not handle the rushing sound of the water.<br />
Prover 13<br />
I was clumsy, dropped the globules all over the desk; poured water of files. I was trembling<br />
like an old woman. Many incidents involving water: it rained during the entire vacation. The<br />
bad on top of the car got wet and all homeopathy books got soaked.<br />
83
44<br />
4f. The immersion proving of Lapis Lazuli by Peter Tumminello<br />
The substance used: High quality stone in its natural unpolished state.<br />
Method: Immersion. The gem is immersed in distilled water and left it exposed to sun and<br />
moon for 24 hours before drawing off the water and mixing it with 50:50 with 90% alcohol,<br />
which is the mother tincture. The potencies were made out of this tincture.<br />
Potencies used 30K, C30, 200K & 10MM, as well as meditation.<br />
Provings:<br />
• Experiment A: group proving. 13 June 1997. Single blind. Meditation/<strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian.<br />
• Experiment B: Group proving, 22 June 1997. Single blind. Meditation/<strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian.<br />
• Experiment C: Independent provers. 2 provers, 3 separate experiments.<br />
Total of provers: 11 (5 women and 6 men)<br />
Negative Seed Essence<br />
Fruitless digging and the search for meaning<br />
• Being stuck in the small picture and wanting to get to the bigger one. Finding the<br />
meaning of life, meaningful things to do, instead of being stuck with “Mundane, daily<br />
things, price of food I had bought, things to clean at home, things to organise. This<br />
was frustrating to me, as I wanted to move on to bigger more meaningful things” This<br />
situation causes anger; anger at being constrained, being disconnected and having to<br />
lead a mundane existence, frustrated at life’s trivialities.<br />
• Anxious about things that have nothing to do with the cause (of the disease), she<br />
focuses on all her little aches and pains, these become major issues, she is unable to let<br />
go and she cannot transcend them.<br />
No mirrors, no mirrors<br />
• She is not willing to look at herself; it would be unbearable because she would see the<br />
truth, the reality that she does not really have a life, just a token gesture for vibrancy,<br />
joy and living.<br />
Negative keywords<br />
Alone; Barren; Blinded by action; Cold Mother; Digging holes; Disconnected; Driven; Empty<br />
and desolate; Field in the; Fixed Focus; Fruitless digging; Fruitless searching; Grey sky;<br />
Locked in her own individuality; Lost; Mothered; Mundane; No mirrors; Nurtured not;<br />
Searching for meaning; Self-critical; Superficial and Trivial; Uncared for; Unprotected.<br />
44 “Twelve Jewels” Peter Tumminello Lapis Lazuli p. 243-258<br />
84
The underlying cause: Embrace of the Mother, care and nurturing of the child.<br />
The fundamental problem is in the relationship between mother and child. It is an outstanding<br />
medicine for those who have not received the love they needed from their mother or for a<br />
mother who does not know how to give that love.<br />
It is common in the personal history that love has not been expressed: affection, kisses, hugs,<br />
loving support or that zealous protection that a natural mother affords her child in the threat of<br />
danger.<br />
Indicated in situations where carers were absent of unaware of the child’s needs. They will<br />
say that their mother was cold and distant, of that they were robbed of nurture.<br />
The lack of mothering, caring and nurturing generates an inability to see and to embrace the<br />
whole. The positive dimension of this perspective is that of a caring mother who looks after<br />
all the needs of her children and family, like Jung states in his book “The Four archetypes”,<br />
see page 56-57, the giver of all in abundance, like mother earth.<br />
Positive seed essence<br />
• The resolution of this state is realizing that there is a bigger picture, that she can let go<br />
of the small things and detail to concentrate on seeing things from a higher perspective<br />
and not just focus on the problem at hand. There is a program that had to be removed;<br />
the program that the little things were the issues. She realises that she has chosen the<br />
painful, hard path, and that she always soldiered through. On letting this program go,<br />
she can see her way through, let go of remorse and punishment, and be understanding<br />
and compassionate to herself.<br />
• Ultimately it is a move to embrace herself, to mother herself, to nurture herself and<br />
love herself. With this come love, nurturing, abundance and the ability to give birth to<br />
her real self.<br />
The field and the sky.. Earth to the heavens<br />
• The central issue in Lapis Lazuli often appears around the idea of the field. This word<br />
was used prominently in the proving and in cured cases. On one hand a person who is<br />
searching, digging in a defined place in the field. The field here means a place where<br />
you find a natural resource. This place is limited, a place of finite possibilities. Here<br />
she is only finding bareness. The other side of this is the sky, a place with a full aerial<br />
view, unlimited with unlimited possibilities. It envelopes everything. Lapis allows a<br />
sense of expansiveness and freedom, in terms of perspective, understanding, beauty<br />
and love.<br />
Positive keywords<br />
Being; not searching; Big picture, sees; Blue sky; Communication intimate and meaningful;<br />
Compassionate with herself; Embraced, feels; Embraces, self; Embrace, the whole; Higher<br />
perspective; Loves, self; Mothering, self; Nurtures, self; Protected; Skyward, moving; Soft on<br />
self; Understanding.<br />
85
4g. Key mental themes<br />
The amusement park<br />
• It is as if he lives in an amusement park. He, his family & friends are all engaging in<br />
rides of pleasure and thrill. The world of materialism and the senses. Life is nothing<br />
but the seeking of material excitements, a superficial existence. When he realises this<br />
is empty and there is nothing there spurs his search for real connection,<br />
communication, love and nurturing. He needs to see the big picture, to let go of the old<br />
programs and travel beyond the superficial amusements of life to find a sense of<br />
meaning.<br />
Communication, freedom of expression and connectedness<br />
• Implicit to the search for meaning in Lapis is connection to others. It can be with<br />
partner, family or friends. Lapis may feel that the communication with others is<br />
ineffective, mundane or focused on the trivial or superficial. His relationships have<br />
descended into offensive nuances, the persistent chatter of superficialities, swearing or<br />
persistent arguments. There is a great desire to communicate on an intimate level, to<br />
exchange, understand, feel and experience that joy of togetherness.<br />
• Lapis enables people to communicate and express their feelings and activates the<br />
throat charka. It may help autism and shy introverted individuals. It is excellent for<br />
personal articulation and the expression of buried emotions.<br />
Grieving over death of the mother<br />
• For people, especially women who are still mourning over the death of someone in the<br />
family long after the natural time. Mediterranean women who dress in black forever<br />
after such a death. These women have been totally focused on the trivial aspects of<br />
home and being a housewife. Having identified so deeply with their role of nurturer<br />
they are unable to receive nurture themselves. Their lives have become dead, empty<br />
and purposeless. In the loss of a loved one their whole world is lost and they<br />
themselves become as if dead and empty.<br />
• The very process of being a mother seems to naturally invoke an eternity of loving,<br />
caring and protection that has the power to transcend death.<br />
4h. Psyche<br />
Animals & colours<br />
• Many animals appear in meditations and dreams. The most prominent being the<br />
African Savannah animals. The characteristics of this are a profusion of wildlife.<br />
• Colours: go hand in hand with the profusion of life. Deep aqua, jade, deep blue, deep<br />
purple; red, yellow, gold and black. Primary colours being red, yellow and blue.<br />
Intellect<br />
• It stimulates mental clarity and the ancients recommended it in dementia.<br />
86
Mundane things and the mother<br />
• There is much investment in the mundane things of life; they often become the whole<br />
focus, preventing perception of a bigger picture and the meaningful things in life.<br />
There can also be a frustration with these mundane things.<br />
Character and dress<br />
• Women in black and are in permanent mourning.<br />
• Men who are coarse, ignorant and mouth off offensively.<br />
• Refugees who are coming home.<br />
4i. Spiritual themes<br />
Embracing the whole Earth<br />
• On the spiritual plane Lapis stimulates a movement from the small picture of our small<br />
human existence to the big picture of connectedness with everyone and everything, a<br />
sense of unity and universal loving.<br />
• Lapis calls for nurturing and healing for all persons, beings and things on earth. It is a<br />
true movement to the bigger picture in which everyone is included in the loving acts<br />
and a healing poultice of motherly love is wrapped around the Earth.<br />
Hanuman, the monkey god<br />
• The monkey god of India appeared in the proving. He was a great warrior and inertly<br />
he was profoundly devoted to loving nature. Although a monkey and a warrior he is<br />
renowned for this gentlemanly manners, his etiquette, his great sensitivity and<br />
kindness even to foes. Sensitivity to the pain of others and at all times his motive was<br />
deep devotion to Rama, the Divine King of ancient India. The quality of this kindness,<br />
sensitivity and undying love link him to the love of the mother.<br />
• Hanuman was the incarnation of strength, vitality and virility. In a cure case it was<br />
commented “my issue is about protection and strength, I had given my parents role to<br />
protect me”.<br />
Throat charka<br />
• Throat charka focuses on communication and has action on the voice and thyroid<br />
gland. Additionally cleaning the emotions through this charka is clearly indicated.<br />
4j. Physical particulars<br />
Head: tension across the left side of forehead - occiput. SE of pressure in the head.<br />
Headache > cold applications.<br />
Face: Cracking tempero-mandibular joints for two days. Sudden formication; skin crawling<br />
on the left cheek.<br />
87
Ears: Ear trouble and deafness.<br />
Eyes: Pulsation of the eyes when closed.<br />
Nose: Epistaxis from blowing the nose with substantial amount of blood for 5 days.<br />
Mouth: Right-sided stones in salivary duct reduced 50 percent on taking the medicine.<br />
Gumboils and gum pains.<br />
Teeth: Strong toothache in lower right back molar. SE went from a toothache to a feeling that<br />
is injected with anaesthetic, a full, heavy feeling; indicating use for the bad effects of tooth<br />
anaesthetics. Toothache.<br />
Throat: Constantly clearing the throat. Sometimes the voice cuts out completely. Voice<br />
irregular, can’t reach deeper tones. Strong sense of constriction in throat. Strong feeling it is<br />
acting on thyroid. Clear sensation of thyroid. Inflammations of oesophagus, larynx, upper<br />
bronchial passages and tonsillitis. Cancer of larynx. Disease of throat in general.<br />
Gastro-intestinal: Very sharp pain in the region of appendix (which had been removed years<br />
before). The pain woke him up and it took almost 1 hour. Nothing would reduce the pain.<br />
Biliousness.<br />
Male: Sharp persistent pain in left groin, adjacent with left testicle, as if being stabbed there.<br />
Conscious of nothing else until the pain subsides.<br />
Female: Menstruation that finished a few days before began all over again, lasting 6 days.<br />
Unsure if it is menses or just bloody discharge. Strong throbbing in uterus with sensation it is<br />
growing and filling the abdomen. Feels pressure as if a lump in uterus like a big head. As if I<br />
was trying to give birth. Protects from miscarriage but must be removed at the time of birth<br />
lest it keep up the child. Menopausal flushing.<br />
Respiratory: Aware of his breath is noisy. Disease of lungs.<br />
Chest: Cramping in the breast, specially the right, similar to “let down of breast milk”,<br />
experienced when the mother hears the baby cry.<br />
Back: SE of a great weight on the back of the neck, as though something was pushing down<br />
hard and heavy. Dream: of falling hard on her back.<br />
Extremities: SE of great heaviness in the limbs. Arthritis, gout and rheumatism.<br />
Upper limbs: SE as if had been carrying a heavy weight like a bundle of steel pipes on his left<br />
shoulder for a very long time. SE that this has pushed the musculature on the left shoulder<br />
down and it is very painful. Pain extends down to the left side of the spine to lower lumbar<br />
region. Woke at 4 am burning pain left elbow, and inflammation of the skin. Blister<br />
resembling a burn appears on elbow one hour later. Blister is slightly irregular in shape, round<br />
+ -1 cm of diameter, 4 mm high, filled with fluid and the skin was very inflamed around the<br />
edges. It burst twice through the day and both times refilled with fluid.<br />
88
Weakness of right arm. SE that my left hand is facing downwards when it is facing upwards.<br />
Pain in the tip of the third and fourth fingers of the right hand. Pain in the tip of the first finger<br />
of right hand.<br />
Sleep: Sound and refreshing. Insomnia.<br />
Fever: Used for quartan 45 fever by the ancients.<br />
Skin: Irritatingly sensitive to clothing. It was rubbed on plague boils of the middle ages. Boils,<br />
carbuncles and abscesses. Combined with white coral cures dermatitis.<br />
4k. Generals<br />
• Tingling through the body for a minute leaving a sensation of warmth that lasts for<br />
some time.<br />
• Surges of energy, buzzing and vibrating through the body. Floating sensation. Sudden<br />
trembling, a shudder through the whole body. Sensation of being hollow.<br />
• Sides of body: left side feeling longer than the right side. It felt out of balance, almost<br />
as if left side was larger it would tip me over and smother the right side. Feeling of<br />
different sensation on my right than left side.<br />
• Left side: Intuited to be a left-sided remedy. Sensation that left hand was facing<br />
downwards when in reality it was facing upwards. Pain left side of forehead; pain in<br />
shoulder and lower back; painful eruption on elbow; pain in groin.<br />
• Right side: Right-sided salivary glands; lower back molar, pain in region of appendix,<br />
pain in breast, weak arm; pain in fingers tips.<br />
• Lymphatic system: Pituitary and thymus gland are invigorated, as are sections of the<br />
vertebrae connected to the parasympathetic ganglia. Treats diseases of the spleen,<br />
lymph and thymus, as well as Hodgkin’s disease. A potent cleanser.<br />
• Conditions: Apoplexy; blood disorders; diabetes; epilepsy; fainting; jaundice;<br />
neuralgia and spasmodic disorders, osteitis, TBC; urinary troubles.<br />
• Food: desires exactly like that of Natrium Muriatricum.<br />
45 Fever caused by malaria parasites with a periodicity of 72 hours (http://www.icp.ucl.ac.be/~opperd/parasites/terms.htm)<br />
89
Chapter 5<br />
The comparison of the provings Schadde –Timmerman; Tumminello –Timmerman.<br />
5a. Schadde – Timmerman: Prominent differences & similarities.<br />
Schadde Timmerman<br />
MIND SYMPTOMS & THEMES MIND SYMPTOMS & THEMES<br />
Animal themes, instinct & territories absent. Lions, wolves, acute senses & territories.<br />
Changing moods, euphoria # depression. Changing moods melancholy # happiness.<br />
Less prominent (1 prover).<br />
Unyielding (hard & unyielding with<br />
children). Does not express it as bullying or<br />
teasing.<br />
Anger, irritation # humour, laughing.<br />
Bullying, teasing, quarrelsome towards<br />
children, husband, and mother.<br />
Not present. Inner dark side – goals in life.<br />
Not really present. Only depression with Death, cemeteries, ghosts, elderly & terminal<br />
feeling of disintegration = end of life. patients.<br />
Commitment, lack of. Feeling of not getting<br />
involved.<br />
Detachment, indifference, soberness.<br />
Not really present. Only prover 8<br />
Different dimensions, wider view that goes<br />
experienced something similar that remains above everyday understanding. Views about<br />
unconscious. Speaks of dimensions that he<br />
can only imagine.<br />
cruelty, boundaries.<br />
Absent. Ego – Selfishness – deeper understanding of<br />
dynamics of the Ego.<br />
Absent. Egypt, mummies, walking into the other<br />
world.<br />
Relating to the rest of the world. Both<br />
isolation & happiness.<br />
Excitement, joy, feeling happy.<br />
Fears of water & Rain. Sensation of no Fears of threat with danger, of what future<br />
defence.<br />
brings trituration. Fear associated with<br />
good-byes and death.<br />
Absent. Freedom, wanting to break bonds and ties.<br />
Concentration better or lack of concentration. Concentration better or lack of concentration.<br />
Awareness & clear thoughts.<br />
Sluggishness general with heaviness of Hard & Heavy, too much to bear. Falling<br />
limbs, motionless, apathetic.<br />
asleep. Weakness.<br />
Cold (ice) a lot less prominent. ICE COLD (Mental & Physical).<br />
Associations with snow, ice, winters &<br />
concentration camps.<br />
Retreat, inward, desire to be by oneself. Introspection.<br />
Rage/Anger. Irritation. Violent & explosive anger. Very<br />
prominent.<br />
Absent. Past, war, Nazis & Jews.<br />
During preparation of the remedy (trituration Peaceful, confident, sacred feeling, warmth.<br />
90
up to C3). Not after that.<br />
Grief/Sorrow/Weeping. Feeling abandoned. Grief, sorrow, forsaken feeling (with<br />
palpitation & stitching pains in heart)<br />
Being rushed. Feeling pressure, anxiety about time, rushed<br />
feeling. Time passes slowly, letting go of<br />
time.<br />
Greed – gluttony. Sudden feeling of hunger.<br />
Delusion being pregnant. Absent. Swelling of breasts and abdomen not<br />
associated with pregnancy.<br />
Smell illusions absent. Delusions smelling sharp, cold things.<br />
Order and structure. Organizes a lot and Order and structure. Cleaning, washing,<br />
cleans up.<br />
clearing up.<br />
Prophecy, premonition. Presentiment of death. Prover 11 did mention<br />
Hurricane Katrina, C5 trituration.<br />
Water, floods, fear of rain. Basically absent, Sea is mentioned but no<br />
fears about it.<br />
Schadde Timmerman<br />
PHYSICALS (differences) PHYSICALS (differences)<br />
Vertigo – more vertigo symptoms &<br />
modalities.<br />
Light headed & vertigo.<br />
Head – Eruptions & falling off hair. Absent.<br />
Eyes – No eruptions, nor burning pain. Eruptions & burning pains in eyes.<br />
Vision – Dim. Blurred & tired sensation.<br />
Ear – general pain on blowing nose. Pressing & Stitching pains.<br />
Nose – No imaginary odours, nor acute<br />
smells.<br />
Less Epistaxis symptoms (just one prover (3).<br />
Face – Cracked lips & formication. Absent.<br />
Mouth – Taste metallic. Eruptions,<br />
Taste bitter or sweetish. The rest of the<br />
Numbness & Salivation.<br />
symptoms absent.<br />
External throat – swelling of glands. Torticollis drawn to the left.<br />
Stomach – Pain cutting, drawing, stitching. Pain burning & cramping (with anger or<br />
fear)<br />
Stool – many more symptoms & modalities. Dry stool (1 prover (3).<br />
Rectum – Bleeding. Absent rectum symptoms or not mentioned.<br />
Kidneys/Bladder – burning. Kidneys/Bladder – see C40/4 symptoms.<br />
Female – Leucorrhoea brown. Absent leucorrhoea or not mentioned.<br />
Respiration – Impeded. Slow & Deep. Sighing.<br />
Back – more symptoms & modalities. Absent or not mentioned.<br />
Dreams – Churches, falling into abyss, Dreams – Animals bitten, stung by; cruelty;<br />
floating, prophetic, water and witches. daily events, past events long, war, quarrels<br />
and family.<br />
Food – desires chicken, cucumbers, milk. Food – desires sweets, artichokes. Aversion<br />
Aversion – raw vegetables<br />
– bitter vegetables.<br />
91
Schadde Timmerman<br />
GENERALS (differences) GENERALS (differences)<br />
Internal trembling. Absent or not mentioned.<br />
Pain as if crushed. Absent or not mentioned.<br />
Desire for motion. Absent or not mentioned.<br />
Absent. Desire colour blue.<br />
Absent. Symptoms lasting for a week or two.<br />
Less prominent. Itching all over.<br />
Absent. Dryness of mucus membranes.<br />
Yawning absent. Cold, tired & yawning.<br />
92
5b. Conclusion from comparing Schadde – Timmerman.<br />
Anne Schadde did triturate the remedy up to C3 to potentize it to a C30, which was the<br />
potency used for the proving. As explained before, in the trituration proving the substance is<br />
triturated up to a C5-level (2 hours longer than a C3). These triturations are the main<br />
information source for the trituration proving. So basically the preparation of the remedy in<br />
the beginning of both provings is the same, the substance needs to be grinded or triturated in<br />
order to be able to potentize it further. The reason for this is that the stone in its ungrounded<br />
form would never dissolve in water and its healing powers would never come apparent 46 .<br />
In Schadde’s proving there are a lot more modalities mentioned in the physical symptoms.<br />
This can be due to a more thorough follow up of the provers and their symptoms. In<br />
<strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian provers a supervisor is assigned to every prover or every two provers 47 . The<br />
meaning for this is not to miss any information, like modalities and observations and to make<br />
symptoms as complete as possible. So the loss of information is most probable in the<br />
trituration proving, since there was no supervisor assigned to each prover. Provers were<br />
basically writing down the symptoms their own and sharing them afterwards in the group<br />
meetings. Often, if people are not reminded of something unusual remains ignored or is just<br />
forgotten, this is the disadvantage of such trituration provings but it could be avoided by<br />
assigning supervisor/s to a small group of provers, this of course takes more time and effort to<br />
be put into the whole process and sometimes that is not possible due to people’s everyday<br />
responsibilities.<br />
In Schadde’s proving though there is a lack of C4 level awareness, the possible real cause<br />
behind the symptoms remains unfolded. There is no mention of cruelty possibly being behind<br />
the anger, nor lack of warmth and nurture from the mother. Prover 8 does mention the feeling<br />
of other dimensions that he can not reach because of the “not wanting to see” attitude. In the<br />
trituration proving this is expressed as superficial way to dealing with things, ignoring or<br />
suppressing them.<br />
There is also no C5 level or archetypical information in which the archetype of the mother is<br />
mentioned, only the physical aspect of the mother is expressed in the form of “Delusion being<br />
pregnant”, which peculiar enough is absent in the trituration provings, since no prover<br />
expressed that particular feeling or association.<br />
Most of symptoms are otherwise the same or similar, just expressed in other words by the<br />
provers and there are other symptoms that are completely absent in either one of the provings,<br />
this can have to do with the provers susceptibility 48 or the fact that there has been some<br />
information lost. It can also be due to the provers groups, Schadde used 12 provers for the<br />
proving, in the trituration proving there were 20 provers 49 . In this case it does not seem to have<br />
anything to do with the method the remedy is prepared by, as it is almost the same. The<br />
grinded stone is in the remedy either way.<br />
46 Samuel <strong>Hahnemann</strong> “Organon der Geneeskunst” 6 th edition p. 145-146<br />
47 ECCH Recommended Guidelines for Good Provings (www.homeopathy-ecch.org/provings.html)<br />
48 Samuel <strong>Hahnemann</strong> “Organon der Geneeskunst” 6 th edition p. 76, p. 79<br />
49 Samuel <strong>Hahnemann</strong> “Organon der Geneeskunst, 6 th edition p. 83<br />
93
Very important is to recognize that the symptoms mentioned from the trituration of Lapis<br />
Lazuli for Schadde’s proving were basically the same as the ones experienced by the provers<br />
in The Hague. Some examples of these symptoms are 50 :<br />
- Sensation of awareness and clarity.<br />
- Sensation of meditative calm and relaxation.<br />
- Gazing into empty space.<br />
- Slow oncoming sadness, melancholy with the sensation of constriction in the chest, as<br />
if something was weighting on the chest. She has to take deep breaths; it feels<br />
burdensome, which makes her sad.<br />
- Cardiac irregularity.<br />
- Burning of the eyes.<br />
- Pressure on ears.<br />
- Stabbing in left ear.<br />
- Pleasantly cool sensation on the body’s surface.<br />
The conclusion to this would be that the substances give away the same kind of information if<br />
prepared the same or similar way and that the slight alteration or differences in symptoms can<br />
be mostly due to susceptibility of the provers and loss of information. It seems to be true<br />
though that as claimed by the C4-practicing homeopaths 51 , triturating the substance up to C4<br />
and C5 level does add extra information that mostly remains unveiled in a regular proving. It<br />
may be possible to gain this kind of information by other methods, like meditation. Peter<br />
Tumminello is known for adding meditation provings to his <strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian provings.<br />
5c. Tumminello – Timmerman: Prominent differences & similarities.<br />
Tumminello Timmerman<br />
KEY MENTAL ASPECTS KEY MENTAL ASPECTS<br />
The amusement park: the world of<br />
Suppressing, ignoring the reality, detaching<br />
materialism and the senses, a superficial<br />
existence.<br />
from feelings.<br />
Communication with others: ineffective, Quarrelling with family members,<br />
mundane, and focused on the trivial.<br />
Persistent arguments.<br />
introspection because it is all in vain.<br />
Grieving over death of the mother.<br />
Grieving in general, heavy pain, also related<br />
Focussing on trivial things, their life is dead. to death but not only mother, but dear ones.<br />
Association with death & terminal patients.<br />
Animals: African Savannah Animals Wolves, lions, snakes, fish<br />
Colours: deep aqua, jade, deep blue, purple, Colours: blue, dark blue, orange, yellow,<br />
yellow, red, gold and black.<br />
gold and black.<br />
Intellect: stimulates mental clarity. Clear senses, awareness & mental clarity.<br />
Character & dress: women in black, in<br />
permanent mourning. Refugees coming<br />
home.<br />
Absent or not mentioned.<br />
Tumminello Timmerman<br />
50 Anne Schadde “ Listening to Stone, Wood and Shell” p. 26<br />
51 For instance the ones who introduced this method: Gerhard Lang and Jürgen Becker. (http://www.hahnemanninstituut.nl/introc4.html)<br />
94
SPIRITUAL THEMES SPIRITUAL THEMES<br />
Embracing the Earth: from small picture to<br />
bigger picture.<br />
Hanuman: the monkey God. Represents<br />
selfless nurturing & protecting.<br />
C3 & C4 levels give information about<br />
letting go of ego (small things) to focus on<br />
the bigger picture (wider view) and freedom<br />
from mundane things.<br />
The Mother: Symbolized by Mother Mary.<br />
Represents selfless love & nurturing.<br />
Tumminello Timmerman<br />
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS<br />
Head symptoms, pressure in head Head symptoms, pressure & headache.<br />
Flushes of heat<br />
Face: pain in jaws; crawling in cheek Face: cramp in jaws. Absent<br />
Ear: trouble and deafness Ear: heat, noises and pain<br />
Eyes: Pulsation when closed Eyes: Burning pains, tired sensation,<br />
Lachrymation, swelling and eruptions<br />
Nose: Epistaxis from blowing the nose Nose: imaginary odours, epistaxis, irritation,<br />
dryness, discharges<br />
Mouth: Stones in salivary glands. Gum pains Mouth: Dryness, bitter & sweetish taste<br />
Teeth: Toothache, full heavy feeling, as from No symptoms, only dreams of broken teeth<br />
anaesthetics<br />
(3, 13)<br />
Throat: Clearing the throat, no voice or Throat: choking during the day. Constriction<br />
irregular. Constriction in throat<br />
Gastro-intestinal: sharp pain in region<br />
appendix (removed years before)<br />
Stomach/abdomen: swelling, cramping<br />
pains, nausea, belching, flatulence &<br />
rumbling<br />
Male: Sharp pains in groins Male: absent (just one male prover 6)<br />
Female: Menses subsides and comes back.<br />
Throbbing in uterus. SE pressure in uterus<br />
like a big head (birth giving). Menopausal<br />
flushing<br />
Respiratory: aware of breath, noisy Slow & deep, sighing<br />
Chest: cramping in chest, similar to let down<br />
of breast milk<br />
Menses: copious with swelling of mammae.<br />
Increased sexual desire. Flushes of heat in<br />
face also associated with menopause.<br />
Constriction, eruptions, swelling,<br />
oppression, palpitations & stitching pains<br />
(with grief & anger)<br />
Sore & stitching pains, heat & itching<br />
Back: SE weight on the back of neck, hard &<br />
heavy as if pushing down.<br />
Extremities: heaviness Coldness, cramps, heaviness, numbness &<br />
cramping, drawing pains<br />
Sleep: sound and refreshing. Insomnia Sleep: interrupted, unrefreshed,<br />
overpowering sleepiness<br />
Skin: sensitive to clothing, boils, carbuncles Skin: dry, wrinkled, shrivelled (like<br />
and abscesses<br />
mummies)<br />
Tumminello Timmerman<br />
95
GENERALS GENERALS<br />
Tingling with sensation of warmth Warmth & perspiration of extremities<br />
Surges of energy, buzzing & vibrating.<br />
Floating sensation. Trembling<br />
Lack of energy. Floating sensation (1)<br />
Sides of body: Left Left, left to right<br />
Lymphatic system Swelling of glands (16)<br />
Food desires, exactly like Nat-m52 Food: desires chocolate, sweets<br />
.<br />
Aversion: bitter vegetables (artichokes &<br />
Salty things (3)Beer, bitter drinks/food,<br />
farinaceous, fish, milk, oysters (2)<br />
chicory) (3)<br />
Chocolate, coffee, cold drinks & food, pasta<br />
(1)<br />
5d. Conclusion from comparing Tumminello – Timmerman.<br />
At first sight it seems quite obvious that the differences between Tumminello’s proving (from<br />
Immersion) and the one in The Hague are a lot more prominent than between Schadde’s<br />
proving and Timmerman’s. In this case we need to take into consideration that the method of<br />
preparation of the remedy is different. Tumminello did not choose to grind or triturate the<br />
stone but made a “Bach- remedy” out of it (see beginning page 83). This might be the reason<br />
why most of the symptoms seem to be different. There are some similarities as you can see in<br />
the tables above but the differences (in Italic) are much more prominent.<br />
The peculiarity about the Australian proving is that besides taking the remedy, there were<br />
meditation sessions upon the substance, which in this case, delivered the spiritual or aetiology<br />
of the pathology in this remedy that we can not find in Schadde’s proving. In Tumminello’s<br />
proving the essence of the remedy is given as:<br />
“It is about someone that focuses on small, trivial, superficial things and therefore can not<br />
see the big picture, the purpose of his life and the abundance of natural love & nurturing<br />
available around him. It seems then easier to avoid the pain by not wanting to see and<br />
focussing on a superficial existence that ultimately will lead to melancholy and isolation, and<br />
not being able to find the way to the bigger picture, the light or spirituality”. According to<br />
Tumminello’s proving the cause of this is a lack of love and or nurturing by the own mother<br />
in childhood.<br />
Tumminello’s conclusion about the essence of the remedy comes closer to the C4-C5<br />
information of Timmerman’s trituration in which the archetypical figure of the Mother<br />
appears in the form of mother Mary, the one who brings light in time of darkness.<br />
Throughout the trituration proving we see indeed some sort of superficial way of<br />
communicating with others, blaming others, not wanting to see yourself and therefore<br />
suppressing emotions. In the trituration proving there seems to be an unbearable grief and<br />
darkness that is brought on by life’s cruelty, in which eventually the love and nurturing of the<br />
mother (Mary) will bring on the solution and relief. But it does not directly link this grief to<br />
the death of the mother and it does not literally tell that is due to a lack of love and nurturing<br />
although we could conclude that the pain and grief, the death and darkness are there when the<br />
mother is not, and they disappear when she comes back.<br />
52 Frans Vermeulen “Prisma” Arcana of Materia Medica Illuminated p. 967<br />
96
So the conclusion to this comparison would be that in this case the way in which the remedy<br />
is prepared does alter the outcome of the symptoms, at least partially, there are different and<br />
new symptoms added to the remedy’s picture. It seems to be so that this method is more<br />
effective in revealing spiritual information than a regular <strong>Hahnemann</strong>ian proving, even<br />
though this could be due to the meditation techniques added to this proving and not only due<br />
to the susceptibility of the provers.<br />
Chapter 6<br />
Differential Diagnoses 53<br />
Going back to my comments on 2e (page 24) about the issues to be expected in Lapis Lazuli<br />
according to its components proved out to be pretty close. In the provings we have indeed<br />
seen problems with relating to others; grief & introspection, need for attention and forsaken<br />
feeling, ego problems, religion, spirituality, difficulty with sharing things (deep emotions).<br />
The feelings of being used or abused and the battling and struggling seem to be a bit less<br />
prominent; these are more Ferrum issues which are also found in Lapis Lazuli in small<br />
amounts. What we do see is the fighting (quarrelsome), battling, concentration problems and<br />
haemorrhages from nose and anus (Schadde 4b page 72).<br />
On the physical level we see among other symptoms and sensations coldness and heat,<br />
dryness, gland affections, headaches, thirst, and haemorrhages, most of these themes were<br />
already expected (2e page 24).<br />
Therefore we could conclude that the components in a substance bring out similar or the same<br />
symptoms as they would by themselves. Example: substances containing alumina would bring<br />
out dryness, which is a prominent feature in the remedy Alumina.<br />
Since Lapis has a lot of symptoms in common with Alumina, Silica, Calcium Carbonicum,<br />
Sulphur, Natrium Muriatricum, etc I am just going to list the differences that are worth<br />
mentioned for being completely different or opposite, I also mention a general list of<br />
similarities. All the information about detailed similarities can be found in any good Materia<br />
Medica book.<br />
6a. Themes of remedy groups (Aid for making DD’s)<br />
Minerals Structure & organisation/break in structure & organisation. Breaking of relationships or failure in performance.<br />
Systematic personalities and highly organised.<br />
Cations: need for a relationship.<br />
Sodium & Potassium: forming relationships.<br />
Magnesium, calcium, Strontium, Barium: need for support.<br />
Boron, Aluminium: confusion & sensation of a cobweb in the face.<br />
Anions: effort to keep or maintain a relationship.<br />
Phosphorus, Arsenic, Antimony, Bismuth. Feeling of being unloved & alone. Fear of being alone, desire for<br />
company & clinging.<br />
Sulphur & Selenium. Aversion to company & incapacity to work. Making an enormous effort which is expected<br />
from them.<br />
Halogens: Fluorine, Chlorine, Bromine, Iodine. Feeling of being let down & betrayed.<br />
53 Boericke & Phatak “De complete Materia Medica” by Frans Vermeulen.<br />
97
Non-metallic elements: Carbon & Silica: Both non-reactive.<br />
Acids: Struggle followed by collapse in the situation of that element. (Phosphorus, etc)<br />
Gems Rare, special, beautiful, magic.<br />
Transformation & opposite forces.<br />
Darkness/Death – Light/Rebirth.<br />
Family & relationships.<br />
Order & perfection.<br />
Instinct VS what you are expected to do.<br />
Passion & Obsession.<br />
Metals Performance & defence.<br />
Manganese, Iron, Cobalt, Nickel, Copper & Zinc are more concerned with defence than with performance.<br />
Rhodium, Palladium, Silver, Cadmium & Indium are more concerned with performance than defence.<br />
Osmium, Iridium, Platinum, Gold, Mercury and Thallium (heaviest metals) have strong issues about<br />
performance & defence.<br />
Plants<br />
Trees<br />
Sensitivity. Sensitive to environment. Adjusting & adapting to environment. Irregular patterns rounded &<br />
disorganised. Present complaints in this way too. Many modalities (related to sensitivity). Causative factor is<br />
strain or hurt, emotional or physical. “I am affected, I am sensitive, This hurts me, I can not bear it..<br />
Anacardiaceae: Caught, stiff, tension, stuck, cramps, pressing. RHUS-T, ANAC.<br />
Berberidaceae: Sudden, intense, rapid, changeability (mental & physical). BERB, CAUL.<br />
Cactaceae: Constricted, made smaller, shrunk, contracted, bound, trapped, and pressed. Oppressed, weighted<br />
down. ANH.<br />
Compositae: Injured, hurt or insulted, shocked, burnt or scalded, fear to be touched, hurt, approached. ARN,<br />
CALEN, CHAM, CHINA, ABROT, BELL-P.<br />
Conifers: fragile, broken, brittle, connected/disconnected, empty/fullness. Cut off/fragmented. THUJ, SAB.<br />
Euphorbiaceae: tied and untied, bound/unbound. MANC, HURA.<br />
Hamamelidae: Compressed, heavy, pressing, load, limited, dragging, fixed, confined. Opposite: lightness &<br />
flying. CANN-S CANN-I.<br />
Labiatae: Excitement: vivid, pleasant, tremulous with perspiration, trembling, overwhelmed, passionate.<br />
AGN, ORIG.<br />
Leguminosae: Splitting apart, coming apart, scattered, bound together, fragmented. BAPT, LATH.<br />
Liliflorae: forced out, squeezed, excluded, oppressed, constrained. Left out, there is no interest in me. I am<br />
neglected. VERAT, SARS, ALONE, SABAD, LIL-T.<br />
Loganiaceae: shocked, shock so sudden that paralyses, shattered, torn to pieces, disappointment, ruined. NUX-<br />
V, SPIG, GELS, IGN, CUR.<br />
Magnolia: Confusion, bewildered, strange, feels isolated cause of this, reaction is withdrawal into a familiar<br />
shell. CAMPH, NUX-M.<br />
Malvales: attached/detached, joined and separated, together and then separated. CHOC, ABEL KOLA.<br />
Papaveraceae: pain, intense pain, hurt with great intensity, torture, intense suffering. Punished, murdered,<br />
executed, violence, fright & shock. Agony & hell. SANG, OP.<br />
Primulaceae: unable to move because of paralytic pressure and lame sensation. CYCL<br />
Ranunculaceae: vexed, excited easily, raw nerves, morbidly sensitive, electric shock, irritability, excessive<br />
anger with grief, guilt, shock and annoyed, distress, harassed. Insulted dreams, vexatious. Sharp, stitching<br />
stabbing & stinging pain. ACON, HELL, RAN-B, PULS, CIMIC, STAPH, HYDR, CLEM.<br />
Rubiaceae: over stimulation, which agg. Many desire, fantasies, fancies, tobacco, alcohol, sex and other<br />
stimulants agg. Joy agg. COFF, IP.<br />
Scrophulariaceae: bonds and connection are not strong, so they want to hold to very tightly and the connection<br />
breaks then fear, fright and delusion start. EUPH, GRAT, VERB.<br />
Solanaceae: violence, sudden, splitting, bursting, exposure, spasmodic, jerking, shooting, apoplexy, violent<br />
terror, pursued, murder, life and death, killed, snakes. Theme of black and white, light and dark. BELL, STRAM,<br />
HYOS, CAPS, DULC.<br />
Umbelliferae: sudden unexpected violence or attack, accident, blows, riots, stab, topped with numbness,<br />
stupefaction, dullness & sleep. OEN, AETH, SUMB, ASAF, PHEL, CON, CIC.<br />
Violales: physical level: cutting, stabbing, lancinating, sharp. Mental: vexation, does not want to be disturbed.<br />
BRY, VIOL-T, VIOL-O.<br />
Tradition, growth, old, wise, death, life after death. Stability, steadiness, found, center, unchangeable, reserved,<br />
conservative, stiff, rheumatism, rooted, strong, heavy. Function: shelter, nourishment, parenthood, shadow,<br />
98
caring for others, strong responsibility, oppressive protectiveness, communication, danger/insecurity, judgment.<br />
Dominance, control, wanting to reach the sky (religious), dignity, serene. Rough/rude, frail/brittle,<br />
transcendence, floating sensation. Ailments from anticipation. Lack of creativity, inspiration. Isolation,<br />
resignation, introvert, emptiness. Connection, communication, opposite, duality, loss of identity.<br />
Animals Conflict, basis split within the self. Animal side & human side. Animal side is concerned with competition, need<br />
to attract attention, attractive in behaviour and appearance. Deceitful, malicious & aggressive. Expressions: by<br />
human beings, human beings are cruel, I feel split up, I jump at them. Disappointment in love and performance,<br />
from being looked down upon, from being attacked.<br />
Survival, competition, use/abuse, forced, attraction, sexuality, ego, attack/defend.<br />
Insects: Industrious, hyperactive, hurry, excited, anger, fear of water, death, of being attacked, injured, jealousy,<br />
crushed, stamped, insulted, destructive, mean, adulterous, vivacious, lewd, shrieking, sensitive to vibrations,<br />
pains stitching & burning, big appetite, meat eaters. Small, hopeless, alone, dirty, wants attention, loquacious,<br />
dancing and revenge.<br />
Parasites: Selfish, rude, cursing, ambitious in a cold manner: want to be the best, avarice, want to eat the most,<br />
photophobia, alternating states.<br />
Snakes: Forsaken feeling, SE constriction, fear of being choked, violent, desire to hide, manipulative, suspicious,<br />
antagonism with the self, loquacity, lack of morals, show and appearance, one sided-symptoms, sensitive to<br />
temperature, congestion, swollen sensation, sense of persecution, strong fear & dreams of snakes, demand<br />
attention, clairvoyance, guilt feelings, I am bad, religious affections, marked PMS, < Sleeping.<br />
Sea animals: heavy/light, tired/energetic, tied up/freedom, suffocation/open space, conflicts with: protection,<br />
financial dependence, domination (male/female), criticize, rape, cheat, external marital affairs, pressure.<br />
Detached/disconnected, I am not myself, Hard, cold, reduced sexual desire. Different world, Calm, fun loving,<br />
elation/excitement. Fear of snakes & reptiles. Milk <<br />
Birds: flying and freedom, overview, light and flight, feathers and touch, singing, voice, family group orientated,<br />
speed and metabolism, light, dark, spirituality. Trapped, need for freedom, bound. Negativity, sexuality.<br />
Vulnerable, indifferent, caring, ravenous appetite.<br />
Mammals: Belonging to group, herd and paying the price for that, connection with family (father, mother,<br />
siblings). Safety within the group. Fight for the supremacy within the group. Conflict with self over control of<br />
sexuality. Dirty feeling, self critical. History of abuse. Fear of snakes. Problems with breasts before menses,<br />
problems with breast-feeding. Caring for young ones.<br />
Nosodes Desperation, this desperation is expressed in every sphere of the life of a person. Always a desperate way to look<br />
at things. Activity.<br />
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6b. Minerals/Metals – remarkable differences & common traits.<br />
Alumina – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Alumina has dryness of mucus membranes & skin plus a tendency to faulty motoric<br />
paralysis with coordination problems. In Lapis Lazuli we see motion problems that<br />
have to do with rheumatic or arthritic processes. (Unable to stretch out legs & pain-<br />
Prover 16/C3). No coordination problems.<br />
- Confusion of identity is absent in Lapis Lazuli: Lapis wonders more about the goals<br />
and purpose of life (Provers 10, 12, 13 C3).<br />
- Alumina – no heat or violent sensations and symptoms, has only lack of heat.<br />
- Eyes – Alumina dryness, Lapis lachrymation (Prover 2 C1)<br />
- Menses – scanty, in Lapis profuse (Prover 7 C4).<br />
Alumina: dryness, lack of concentration, confusion, being hurried, gastrointestinal problems.<br />
Silica – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Silica has a prominent lack of confidence and is very sensitive and yielding. In Lapis<br />
we see more of an indifference to others, communication problems and not yielding,<br />
rigid attitudes and quarrelling (3, 7, 17 C1).<br />
- Menses too early and scanty. Lapis profuse with swelling of breasts (Prover 7 C4).<br />
- Slow, chronic processes, no violent symptoms.<br />
Silica: Neurasthenic symptoms and increased irritability of the nervous system & strengthen<br />
reflexes. Abscesses (see also Tumminello’s proving of Lapis under Skin & Generals page 87)<br />
& lymphatic symptoms (throat, tonsils).<br />
Calcium Carbonicum – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Calcium does not want to be seen by others, Lapis does not want to see himself.<br />
- Again, slow processes in Calcium, especially lymphatic, rather violent symptoms in<br />
Lapis (Prover 1, 7, 11, 17, C1/C3).<br />
- Profuse perspiration of Calcium, Lapis a lot more dryness (of skin, mucus membranes,<br />
stool).<br />
- Calcium can not bear cruelty and it affects him a lot. Lapis experiences more of<br />
soberness and indifference (1, 3, 9, 10, 11, 12, 17 C1-C4)<br />
Calcium Carbonicum: Gland affections, skin and bones. Issues with food & eating. Ice<br />
coldness, to the bones.<br />
Sulphur – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Sulphur seems to be untidy; Lapis wants order & cleanness around him.<br />
- Sulphur is < Bathing, Lapis wants to wash off (Prover 1/C1 16/C1).<br />
- < Warmth, Lapis > warmth of sun.<br />
Sulphur: heat, congestion, burning & redness. Lack of reality. Do not listen to anybody, want<br />
to be the centre of attention. Desires sweets.<br />
100
Natrium Muriatricum – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- This remedy is the most similar to Lapis. It is hard to find any remarkable differences.<br />
- Periodicity of Nat-m is not (yet) seen in Lapis.<br />
- Nat-m is worse 9-11 am. Lapis seems to be worse at night (cold, sleeplessness & pain<br />
– Schadde)<br />
Natrium Muriatricum: Depression, forsaken feeling, withdrawal & suppressed grief, easily<br />
hurt, headaches, dryness. Bitterness about what has been done to him.<br />
Muriatricums – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Feeling of pity & unfairness<br />
- Self pity from a need to be nurtured and cared for.<br />
- Problems with the mother, mother figure.<br />
- Want of attention & lost hope of getting it.<br />
- Themes of water & the sea (Schadde).<br />
Arsenic – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Fear of death of Arsenic is not present in Lapis. Death seems like a rather appealing<br />
option (Aurum) (4, 3, 6, 7, 17 C1-C3).<br />
- Arsenic’s drinks often but small sips. Lapis drinks a couple of glasses of water after<br />
each other (1, 17/C1)<br />
- Arsenic > company. Lapis aversion to company.<br />
Arsenic: Restlessness, anxiety, fear, obsession for tidiness & weariness, lack of heat. Burning<br />
pains. Quarrelsome, materialistic and cruel. Terminal patients.<br />
Aurum – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Aurum, also suicidal from pains, Lapis more sadness.<br />
- Aurum, workaholic, industrious but with ambition and strong sense of responsibility.<br />
Lapis does not seem to have that kind of ambition, does not need to be at the top.<br />
Lapis indifference to work, can not concentrate there (1, 16)<br />
- Aurum > Cold bathing.<br />
- Putrid taste in mouth, Lapis, bitter (3), sweetish (5) & metallic (Schadde)<br />
Aurum: Depressed, melancholic mood (everything black inside, life has no value). Suicidal.<br />
Mental exertion. Reserved & alone; no friends, just a few superficial contacts. Heaviness.<br />
Congestion in various organs.<br />
Mercury – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Mercury is sensitive to temperatures, to cold. Lapis ice coldness to the bones.<br />
- Mercury skin, almost constantly moist, (persistent dryness of skin contraindicates<br />
Mercury), Lapis dry skin, shrivelled, like a mummy (17).<br />
- Mercury, profuse salivation during sleep. Lapis dryness of mucus membranes & also<br />
mouth (11, 20).<br />
101
Mercury: Memory weakened and loss of will power. Weary of life. Time passes slowly.<br />
Extremely closed. Quarrelsome complaining of relations and surroundings. Indifference to<br />
everything. Cruelty, mischief. Dreams of water & floods, trembling in limbs (Schadde).<br />
Ferrum – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- A lot more similarities than differences. Anger in Lapis seems to be more prominent &<br />
violent.<br />
- Ferrum does not seem to be suicidal, loathing of life or any of these symptoms. Lapis<br />
does (1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 15, 17).<br />
Ferrum: Irritability. Desire solitude. Alternation of moods. Circulation problems. Headaches.<br />
Argentum Nitricum – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Arg-n: can not hide his feelings. Lapis can not hide his anger, though he tries.<br />
- Arg-n: desires sweets & < sweets. Lapis does not < from sweets.<br />
- Arg-n: one of the hottest remedies. Lapis ice cold.<br />
- Arg-n: desires company to express feelings, Lapis avoids company, does not want to<br />
share feelings, only when it seems too much (7).<br />
- Arg-n: loud eructations. Lapis, not in the proving.<br />
Argentum Nitricum: Anticipation, hurry, anxiety when time is set. Brain fag, weakness of<br />
memory. Distension, flatulence in abdomen.<br />
Causticum – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Caust has a lot more sympathy and issues with the group. Lapis has more tendency to<br />
isolation.<br />
- Caust paralysis due to damage in nervous system & then muscles. Lapis’s pathology<br />
seems to focus more on rheumatic like complaints (Schadde/16)<br />
- Caust > wet weather, > sips of cold water. Aversion to sweets. Lapis does not seem to<br />
have these modalities, has a strong desire for sweets. (7, 8)<br />
Causticum: Anxious forebodings, can not stand injustice & sensitive to authority. Chronic<br />
grief. Fanatism & rigidity. Quarrelsome & excitable.<br />
Phosphor Acid – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Ph-ac: mild & yielding disposition. Lapis seems to be more of a rigid or quarrelsome<br />
type (page 38/39).<br />
- Ph-ac: craves fruit & juicy refreshing things mainly.<br />
- Ph-ac: strong debility from loss of fluids. Lapis does not.<br />
Ph-ac: ailments from prolonged grief, disappointed love, homesickness. Apathetic, burn-out<br />
state. Weakness & indolence. Indifference. Poor memory, can not collect his ideas, hunts for<br />
words.<br />
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6c. Plants/Trees<br />
Ranunculaceae: vexed, excited easily, raw nerves, morbidly sensitive, electric shock, irritability, excessive anger with grief,<br />
guilt, shock and annoyed, distress, harassed. Insulted dreams, vexatious. Sharp, stitching stabbing & stinging pain. ACON,<br />
HELL, RAN-B, PULS, CIMIC, STAPH, HYDR, CLEM. In Lapis Lazuli we also see the nervousness, excessive anger and<br />
grief & some stitching pains. The difference would be though that Lapis does have other minerals traits & themes of the<br />
mineral and gem kingdom.<br />
Aconite – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Aconite: fear of death, Lapis indifference to death (4, 6)<br />
- Aconite: Loquacity, Lapis more prominent taciturnity (1, 16)<br />
- Aconite: acute states, Lapis more chronic (contains minerals)<br />
- Aconite: no suppression possible, too violent & fast. Panicky. Acute.<br />
Aconite: fear, restlessness, & presentiment of death. Violent symptoms. Panic states.<br />
Rheumatism, numbness & tingling in extremities. Restless, nervous. Clairvoyance.<br />
Palpitation with anxiety or fear of death.<br />
Violales: physical level: cutting, stabbing, lancinating, sharp. Mental: vexation, does not want to be disturbed. BRY, VIOL-<br />
T, VIOL-O.<br />
Bryonia – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Bryonia: desire to go home, Lapis feeling needs to say good-bye to home, family (16).<br />
- Bryonia: fear of poverty. Lapis Delusion starving (Schadde).<br />
- Bryonia: not hindered by emotions, business orientated. Lapis is hindered by<br />
emotions.<br />
- Bryonia: < motion, Lapis moves about in anger (1)<br />
Bryonia: dryness of mucus membranes. Irritability, indisposition to talk, desire to be alone.<br />
Materialistic. Thirst for large quantities.<br />
Trees: Tradition, growth, old, wise, death, life after death. Stability, steadiness, found, center, unchangeable, reserved,<br />
conservative, stiff, rheumatism, rooted, strong, heavy. Function: shelter, nourishment, parenthood, shadow, caring for others,<br />
strong responsibility, oppressive protectiveness, communication, danger/insecurity, judgment. Dominance, control, wanting<br />
to reach the sky (religious), dignity, serene. Rough/rude, frail/brittle, transcendence, floating sensation. Ailments from<br />
anticipation. Lack of creativity, inspiration. Isolation, resignation, introvert, emptiness. Connection, communication,<br />
opposite, duality, loss of identity. Again we see some common themes here but also big differences between the mineral/gem<br />
world and the plant/trees world. The common theme here would be death, life after death, rheumatism & communication<br />
troubles.<br />
Lycopodium – Lapis Lazuli:<br />
- Lycopodium: fear of responsibility, aversion to marriage, etc. Lapis is family<br />
orientated (Tumminello, Schadde).<br />
- Anticipation, fear of speaking in public. Lapis does not fear this (17)<br />
Lycopodium: bloated abdomen, flatulence, desires sweets. Egotism. Ravenous hunger stops<br />
after a mouth full. Skin dry & wrinkled. Unrefreshed sleep. Ego problems.<br />
103
Literature<br />
Books on Homeopathy<br />
Luc de Schepper, “Homeopathy and the Periodic Table”, Volume I Full of Life Publishing 2003<br />
Jan Scholten, “Homeopathie en de elementen”, Stichting Alonissos 1996<br />
Jan Scholten, “Homeopathy & Minerals”, Drukkerij Haasbeek 1993<br />
J. Sherr, “The Dynamics & Methodology of homeopathic provings”, Dynamis Books 1994<br />
Anne Schadde “Listening to Stone, Wood and Shell”, Homoeopathic M. Publishers 2004<br />
Peter Tumminello, “ Twelve Jewels”, The Medicine Way<br />
Frans Vermeulen, “Concordant Materia Medica”, Emryss Publishers 1994<br />
Frans Vermeulen, “Prisma, The Arcana of Materia Medica Illuminated”, Emryss 2002<br />
Frans Vermeulen, “De complete Materia Medica Boericke & Phatak”, Elmar 1991<br />
Rajan Sankaran, “An Insight into Plants” Volume I, Homoeopathic M. Publishers 2002<br />
Rajan Sankaran, “The Soul of Remedies”, Homoeopathic M. Publishers 1997<br />
Rajan Sankaran, “The Sensation in Homeopathy”, Homoeopathic M. Publishers 2004<br />
R. C Otter, Het Relationele Homeopathische Woordenboek, 2 nd edition, Lutra Services 2000<br />
Samuel <strong>Hahnemann</strong>, “Organon der Geneeskunst” 6th edition Dutch version, Homeovisie 3rd edition 1996<br />
E. Price," Provings of Drugs"<br />
Homeopathic seminar notes<br />
Peter Tumminello, Seminar The Hague May 2005<br />
Jürgen Becker, Seminars The Hague November 2004 & 2005<br />
Jenny Tree, Seminar The Hague February 2006<br />
Divya Chabbra, Seminar The Hague April 2006<br />
Homeopathic Software<br />
RADAR version 9.1 (Synthesis Repertory)<br />
Divers<br />
J.C Cooper, “An Illustrated encyclopaedia of traditional symbols”, Thames & Hudson 1979<br />
C.G Jung, “ Four Archetypes”, Princeton 1969<br />
C. G Jung, “ De mens en zijn symbolen” 1966, Lemniscaat<br />
Coelho, “Zakwoordenboek der geneeskunde”, Elsevier 26 th version 2000<br />
Internet websites<br />
http://geology.about.com/library/weekly/aa062198.htm<br />
http://www.gemhut.com/info.htm<br />
http://webmineral.com/data/Lazurite.shtml<br />
http://www.ganoksin.com/borisat/nenam/formation-of-gem.htm<br />
http://www.jjkent.com/articles/history-medicine-lapis-armenus.htm<br />
http://www.suevematsu.com/lapis_lazuli.html<br />
http://www.tradeshop.com/gems/lapis.html<br />
http://galleryvoltaire.com/lapis.html<br />
http://www.crucible.org/gem_elixir3.htm<br />
http://www.online-literature.com/yeats/777/<br />
http://www.gemstone.org/gem-by-gem/english/lapis.html<br />
http://astrological-jewelry.com/<br />
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lapis_lazuli<br />
http://www.trytel.com/~jfalt/Oth-art/archetypes.html<br />
http://www.meertens.knaw.nl/medewerkers/theo.meder/sprookje/doornroosje.html<br />
http://www.bartleby.com/76/1.html<br />
http://www.homeopathy-ecch.org/content/view/24/41/<br />
http://www.dharma-haven.org/thrangu-medicine-buddha.htm<br />
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=crystals<br />
http:// www.answers.com<br />
http://skeptic.com/collectiveun.html<br />
http://jungianarchpsych.com<br />
http://dutchflowerlink.nl<br />
http://icp.ucl.ac.be<br />
http://hahnemanninstituut.nl/introc4.html<br />
104
APPENDIX A<br />
Lapis Lazuli POEM 54<br />
I have heard that hysterical women say<br />
they are sick of the palette and fiddle-bow.<br />
Of poets that are always gay,<br />
For everybody knows or else should know<br />
That if nothing drastic is done<br />
Aeroplane and Zeppelin will come out.<br />
Pitch like King Billy bomb-balls in<br />
until the town laid beaten flat.<br />
All perform their tragic play,<br />
There struts Hamlet, there is Lear,<br />
That's Ophelia, that Cordelia;<br />
Yet they, should the last scene be there,<br />
The great stage curtain about to drop,<br />
If worthy their prominent part in the play,<br />
Do not break up their lines to weep.<br />
They know that Hamlet and Lear are gay;<br />
Gaiety transfiguring all that dread.<br />
All men have aimed at, found and lost;<br />
Black out; Heaven blazing into the head:<br />
Tragedy wrought to its uttermost.<br />
Though Hamlet rambles and Lear rages,<br />
And all the drop-scenes drop at once<br />
Upon a hundred thousand stages,<br />
It cannot grow by an inch or an ounce.<br />
On their own feet they came, or On shipboard,'<br />
Camel-back; horse-back, ass-back, mule-back,<br />
Old civilisations put to the sword.<br />
Then they and their wisdom went to rack:<br />
No handiwork of Callimachus,<br />
Who handled marble as if it were bronze,<br />
Made draperies that seemed to rise<br />
When sea-wind swept the corner, stands;<br />
His long lamp-chimney shaped like the stem<br />
Of a slender palm, stood but a day;<br />
All things fall and are built again,<br />
And those that build them again are gay.<br />
Two Chinamen, behind them a third,<br />
Are carved in lapis lazuli,<br />
Over them flies a long-legged bird,<br />
A symbol of longevity;<br />
The third, doubtless a serving-man,<br />
Carries a musical instrument.<br />
Every discoloration of the stone,<br />
Every accidental crack or dent,<br />
Seems a water-course or an avalanche,<br />
Or lofty slope where it still snows<br />
Though doubtless plum or cherry-branch<br />
Sweetens the little half-way house<br />
Those Chinamen climb towards, and I<br />
Delight to imagine them seated there;<br />
There, on the mountain and the sky,<br />
On all the tragic scene they stare.<br />
One asks for mournful melodies;<br />
Accomplished fingers begin to play.<br />
Their eyes mid many wrinkles, their eyes,<br />
Their ancient, glittering eyes, are gay.<br />
54 William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)<br />
Irish poet, dramatist and prose writer, one of the greatest English-language poets of the 20th century. Yeats received the Nobel Prize for<br />
Literature in 1923.<br />
105
APPENDIX B<br />
Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch (1863–1944). The Sleeping Beauty and other Fairy Tales 55<br />
“The Sleeping Beauty”<br />
ONCE upon a time there lived a King and a Queen, who lacked but one thing on earth to make them entirely happy. The King was 1<br />
young, handsome, and wealthy; the Queen had a nature as good and gentle as her face was beautiful; and they adored one another,<br />
having married for love—which among kings and queens is not always the rule. Moreover, they reigned over a kingdom at peace, and<br />
their people were devoted to them. What more, then, could they possibly want?<br />
Well, they wanted one thing very badly, and the lack of it grieved them more than words can tell. They had no child. Vows,<br />
2<br />
pilgrimages, all ways were tried; yet for a long while nothing came of it all, and the poor Queen especially was in despair.<br />
At last, however, to her own and her husband’s inexpressible joy, she give birth to a daughter. As soon as the palace guns announced 3<br />
this event, the whole nation went wild with delight. Flags waved everywhere, bells were set pealing until the steeples rocked, crowds<br />
tossed up their hats and cheered, while the soldiers presented arms, and even strangers meeting in the street fell upon each other’s neck,<br />
exclaiming: “Our Queen has a daughter! Yes, yes—Our Queen has a daughter! Long live the little Princess!”<br />
A name had now to be found for the royal babe; and the King and Queen, after talking over some scores of names, at length decided 4<br />
to call her Aurora, which means The Dawn. The Dawn itself (thought they) was never more beautiful than this darling of theirs. The<br />
next business, of course, was to hold a christening. They agreed that it must be a magnificent one; and as a first step they invited all the<br />
Fairies they could find in the land to be godmothers to the Princess Aurora; that each one of them might bring her a gift, as was the<br />
custom with Fairies in those days, and so she might have all the perfections imaginable. After making long inquiries—for I should tell<br />
you that all this happened not so many hundred years ago, when Fairies were already growing somewhat scarce—they found seven.<br />
But this again pleased them, because seven is a lucky number.<br />
After the ceremonies of the christening, while the trumpeters sounded their fanfares and the guns boomed out again from the great 5<br />
tower, all the company returned to the Royal Palace to find a great feast arrayed. Seats of honour had been set for the seven fairy<br />
godmothers, and before each was laid a dish of honour, with a dish-cover of solid gold, and beside the dish a spoon, a knife, and a fork,<br />
all of pure gold and all set with diamonds and rubies. But just as they were seating themselves at the table, to the dismay of every one<br />
there appeared in the door-way an old crone, dressed in black and leaning on a crutched stick. Her chin and her hooked nose almost<br />
met together, like a pair of nut-crackers, for she had very few teeth remaining; but between them she growled to the guests in a terrible<br />
voice:<br />
“I am the Fairy Uglyane! Pray where are your King’s manners, that I have not been invited?” 6<br />
She had in fact been overlooked; and this was not surprising, because she lived at the far end of the country, in a lonely tower set 7<br />
around by the forest. For fifty years she had never come out of this tower and every one believed her to be dead or enchanted. That,<br />
you must know, is the commonest way the Fairies have of ending: they lock themselves up in a tower or within a hollow oak, and are<br />
never seen again.<br />
The King, though she chose to accuse his manners, was in fact the politest of men. He hurried to express his regrets, led her to table 8<br />
with his own hand, and ordered a dish to be set for her; but with the best will in the world he could not give her a dish-cover such as the<br />
others had, because seven only had been made for the seven invited Fairies. The old crone received his excuses very ungraciously,<br />
while accepting a seat. It was plain that she had taken deep offence. One of the younger Fairies, Hippolyta by name, who sat by,<br />
overheard her mumbling threats between her teeth; and fearing she might bestow some unlucky gift upon the little Princess, went as<br />
soon as she rose from table and hid herself close by the cradle, behind the tapestry, that she might have the last word and undo, so far<br />
as she could, what evil the Fairy Uglyane might have in her mind.<br />
She had scarcely concealed herself before the other Fairies began to advance, one by one, to bestow their gifts on the Princess. The 9<br />
youngest promised her that she should be the most beautiful creature in the world; the next, that she should have the wit of an angel;<br />
the third, a marvellous grace in all her ways; the fourth, that she should dance to perfection; the fifth, that she should sing like a<br />
nightingale; the sixth, that she should play exquisitely on all instruments of music.<br />
Now came the turn of the old Fairy Uglyane. Her head nodded with spite and old age together, as she bent over the cradle and shook 10<br />
her crutched staff above the head of the pretty babe, who slept on sweetly, too young and too innocent as yet to dream of any such<br />
thing as mischief in this world.<br />
“This is my gift to you, Princess Aurora,” announced the hag, still in her creaking voice that shook as spitefully as her body. “I 11<br />
promise that one day you shall pierce your hand with a spindle, and on that day you shall surely die!”<br />
At these terrible words the poor Queen fell back fainting into her husband’s arms. A trembling seized the whole Court; the ladies 12<br />
were in tears, and the younger lords and knights were calling out to seize and burn the wicked witch, when the young Fairy stepped<br />
forth from behind the tapestry, and passing by Uglyane, who stood scornful in the midst of this outcry, she thus addressed their<br />
Majesties:—<br />
“Take comfort, O King and Queen: your daughter shall not die thus. It is true, I have not the power wholly to undo what this elder 13<br />
sister of mine has done. The Princess must indeed pierce her hand with a spindle; but, instead of dying, she shall only fall into a deep<br />
slumber that shall last for many, many years, at the end of which a King’s son shall come and awake her. Whenever this misfortune<br />
happens to your little Aurora, do not doubt that I, the Fairy Hippolyta, her godmother, shall get news of it and come at once to render<br />
what help I may.”<br />
The King, while declaring himself infinitely obliged to the good Fairy Hippolyta, could not help feeling that hers was but cold 14<br />
comfort at the best. He gave orders to close the christening festivities at once, although the Fairy Uglyane, their spoil-joy, had already<br />
taken her departure; passing unharmed through the crowd of folk, every one of whom wished her ill, and riding away—it was generally<br />
agreed—upon a broomstick.<br />
To satisfy the King’s faithful subjects, however,—who were unaware of any misadventure—the palace fireworks were duly let off, 15<br />
with a grand set-piece wishing Long Life to the Princess Aurora! in all the colours of the rainbow. But His Majesty, after bowing from<br />
the balcony amid the banging of rockets and hissing of Catherine wheels, retired to a private room with his Chamberlain, and there,<br />
still amid the noise of explosions and cheering, drew up the first harsh proclamation of his reign. It forbade every one, on pain of death,<br />
to use a spindle in spinning or even to have a spindle in his house. Heralds took copies of this proclamation and marched through the<br />
land reading it, to the sound of trumpets from every market-place: and it gravely puzzled and distressed all who listened, for their<br />
55 http://www.bartleby.com/76/1.html.<br />
106
women folk prided themselves on their linen. Its fineness was a byword throughout the neighbouring kingdoms, and they knew<br />
themselves to be famous for it. “But what sort of linen,” said they, “would His Majesty have us spin without spindles?”<br />
They had a great affection, however (as we have seen), for their monarch; and for fifteen or sixteen years all the spinning-wheels 16<br />
were silent throughout the land. The little Princess Aurora grew up without ever having seen one. But one day—the King and Queen<br />
being absent at one of their country houses—she gave her governess the slip, and running at will through the palace and upstairs from<br />
one chamber to another, she came at length to a turret with a winding staircase, from the top of which a strange whirring sound<br />
attracted her and seemed to invite her to climb. As she mounted after the sound, on a sudden it ceased; but still she followed the stairs<br />
and came, at the very top, to an open door through which she looked in upon a small garret where sat an honest old woman alone,<br />
winding her distaff. The good soul had never, in sixteen years, heard of the King’s prohibition against spindles; and this is just the sort<br />
of thing that happens in palaces.<br />
“What are you doing, goody?” asked the Princess. 17<br />
“I am spinning, pretty one,” answered the old woman, who did not know who she was. 18<br />
“Spinning? What is that?” 19<br />
“I wonder sometimes,” said the old woman, “what the world is coming to, in these days!” And that, of course, was natural enough, 20<br />
and might occur to anybody after living so long as she had lived in a garret on the top of a tower. “Spinning,” she said wisely, “is<br />
spinning, or was; and, gentle or simple, no one is fit to keep house until she has learnt to spin.”<br />
“But how pretty it is!” said the Princess. “How do you do it? Give it to me and let me see if I can do so well.” 21<br />
She had no sooner grasped the spindle—she was over-eager perhaps, or just a little bit clumsy, or maybe the fairy decree had so 22<br />
ordained it—than it pierced her hand and she dropped down in a swoon.<br />
The old trot in a flurry ran to the head of the stairs and called for help. There was no bell rope, and, her voice being weak with age 23<br />
and her turret in the remotest corner of the palace, it was long before any one heard her in the servants’ hall. The servants, too—in the<br />
absence of the King and Queen—were playing cards, and could not be interrupted by anybody until their game was finished. Then they<br />
sat down and discussed whose business it was to attend on a call from that particular turret; and this again proved to be a nice point,<br />
since nobody could remember having been summoned thither, and all were against setting up a precedent (as they called it). In the end<br />
they decided to send up the lowest of the junior page-boys. But he had a weakness which he somehow forgot to mention—that of<br />
fainting at the sight of blood. So when he reached the garret and fainted, the old woman had to begin screaming over again.<br />
This time they sent up a scullery maid; who, being good-natured and unused to the ways of the palace, made the best haste she could 24<br />
to the garret, whence presently she returned with the terrible news. The servants, who had gone back to their game, now dropped their<br />
cards and came running. All the household, in fact, came pouring up the turret stairs; the palace physicians themselves crowding in<br />
such numbers that the poor Princess Aurora would have been hard put to it for fresh air could fresh air have restored her. They dashed<br />
water on her face, unlaced her, slapped her hands, tickled the soles of her feet, burned feathers under her nose, rubbed her temples with<br />
Hungary-water. They held consultations over her, by twos and threes, and again in Grand Committee. But nothing would bring her to.<br />
Meanwhile, a messenger had ridden off posthaste with the tidings, and while the doctors were still consulting and shaking their heads 25<br />
the King himself came galloping home to the palace. In the midst of his grief he bethought him of what the Fairies had foretold; and<br />
being persuaded that, since they had said it, this was fated to happen, he blamed no one but gave orders to carry the Princess to the<br />
finest apartment in the palace, and there lay her on a bed embroidered with gold and silver.<br />
At sight of her, she was so lovely, you might well have supposed that some bright being of the skies had floated down to earth and 26<br />
there dropped asleep after her long journey. For her swoon had not taken away the warm tints of her complexion: her cheeks were like<br />
carnations, her lips like coral: and though her eyes were closed and the long lashes would not lift, her soft breathing told that she was<br />
not dead. The King commanded them all to leave her and let her sleep in peace until the hour of her awakening should arrive.<br />
Now when the accident befell our Princess the good Fairy Hippolyta, who had saved her life, happened to be in the Kingdom of 27<br />
Mataquin, twelve thousand leagues away; but news of it was brought to her in an incredibly short space of time by a little dwarf who<br />
owned a pair of seven-league boots. (These were boots in which you could walk seven leagues at a single stride.) She set off at once to<br />
the help of her beloved goddaughter, and behold in an hour this good Fairy arrived at the palace, in a fiery chariot drawn by dragons.<br />
Our King met her and handed her down from the chariot. She approved of all that he had done; but, greatly foreseeing as she was, she 28<br />
bethought her that, as all mortals perish within a hundred years or so, when the time came for the Princess to awake she would be<br />
distressed at finding herself orphaned and alone in this old castle.<br />
So this is what she did. She touched with her wand everything and everybody in the palace: the King, the Queen; the ministers and 29<br />
privy councillors; the archbishop (who was the Grand Almoner), the bishops and the minor clergy; the maids-of-honour, ladies of the<br />
bedchamber, governesses, gentlemen-in-waiting, equerries, heralds, physicians, officers, masters of the household, cooks, scullions,<br />
lackeys, guards, Switzers, pages, footmen. She touched the Princess’s tutors and the Court professors in the midst of their deep studies.<br />
She touched likewise all the horses in the stables, with the grooms; the huge mastiffs in the yard; even Tiny, the Princess’s little pet<br />
dog, and Fluff, her black-and-white cat, that lay coiled on a cushion by her bedside.<br />
The instant the Fairy Hippolyta touched them they all fell asleep, not to awake until the same moment as their mistress, that all might 30<br />
be ready to wait on her when she needed them. The very spits at the fire went to sleep, loaded as they were with partridges and<br />
pheasants; and the fire went to sleep too. All this was done in a moment: the Fairies were never long about their business in those days.<br />
But it so happened that one of the King’s councillors, the Minister of Marine (his office dated from a previous reign when the 31<br />
kingdom had hoped to conquer and acquire a seaboard) had overslept himself that morning and came late to the palace without any<br />
knowledge of what had befallen. He felt no great fear that his unpunctuality would be remarked, the King (as he supposed) being<br />
absent in the country; nevertheless he took the precaution of letting himself in by a small postern door and so missed being observed by<br />
the Fairy and touched by her wand. Entering his office, and perceiving that his under-secretary (usually so brisk) and all his clerks<br />
rested their heads on their desks in attitudes of sleep, he drew the conclusion that something had happened, for he was an excellent<br />
judge of natural slumber. The farther he penetrated into the palace, the stronger his suspicions became. He withdrew on tiptoe. Though<br />
by nature and habit a lazy man, he was capable of sudden decision, and returning to his home he caused notices to be posted up,<br />
forbidding any one to approach the castle, the inmates of which were suffering from an Eastern but temporary affliction known as the<br />
Sleeping Sickness.<br />
These notices were unnecessary, for within a few hours there grew up, all around the park, such a number of trees of all sizes, and 32<br />
such a tangle of briars and undergrowth, that neither beast nor man could find a passage. They grew until nothing but the tops of the<br />
castle towers could be seen, and these only from a good way off. There was no mistake about it: the Fairy had done her work well, and<br />
the Princess might sleep with no fear of visits from the inquisitive.<br />
One day, many, many years afterwards, the incomparable young Prince Florimond happened to ride a-hunting on that side of the 33<br />
country which lay next to the tangled forest, and asked: “What were those towers he saw pushing up above the midst of a great thick<br />
wood?”<br />
They all answered him as they heard tell. Some said it was an old castle haunted by ghosts. 34<br />
Others, that all the wizards and witches of the country met there to keep Sabbath. 35<br />
The most general opinion was that an Ogre dwelt there, and that he carried off thither all the children he could catch, to eat them at 36<br />
107
his ease. No one could follow him, for he alone knew how to find a passage through the briars and brambles. The Prince could not tell<br />
which to believe of all these informants, for all gave their versions with equal confidence, as commonly happens with those who talk<br />
on matters of which they can know nothing for certain. He was turning from one to another in perplexity, when a peasant spoke up and<br />
said:—<br />
“Your Highness, long ago I heard my father tell that there was in yonder castle a Princess, the most beautiful that ever man saw; that<br />
she must lie asleep there for many, many years; and that one day she will be awakened by a King’s son, for whom she was destined.”<br />
At these words Prince Florimond felt himself a-fire. He believed, without weighing it, that he could accomplish this fine adventure;<br />
and spurred on by love and ambition, he resolved to explore then and there and discover the truth for himself.<br />
Leaping down from his horse he started to run towards the wood, and had almost reached the edge of it before the attendant courtiers<br />
guessed his design. They called to him to come back, but he ran on, and was about to fling himself boldly into the undergrowth, when<br />
as by magic all the great trees, the shrubs, the creepers, the ivies, briars and brambles, unlaced themselves of their own accord and<br />
drew aside to let him pass. He found himself within a long glade or avenue, at the end of which glimmered the walls of an old castle;<br />
and towards this he strode. It surprised him somewhat that none of his attendants were following him; the reason being that as soon as<br />
he had passed through it, the undergrowth drew close as ever again. He heard their voices, fainter and fainter behind him, beyond the<br />
barrier, calling, beseeching him, to desist. But he held on his way without one backward look. He was a Prince, and young, and<br />
therefore valiant.<br />
He came to the castle, and pushing aside the ivies that hung like a curtain over the gateway, entered a wide outer court and stood still 40<br />
for a moment, holding his breath, while his eyes travelled over a scene that might well have frozen them with terror. The court was<br />
silent, dreadfully silent; yet it was by no means empty. On all hands lay straight, stiff bodies of men and beasts, seemingly all dead.<br />
Nevertheless, as he continued to gaze, his courage returned; for the pimpled noses and ruddy faces of the Switzers told him that they<br />
were no worse than asleep; and their cups, which yet held a few heeltaps of wine, proved that they had fallen asleep over a drinkingbout.<br />
He stepped by them and passed across a second great court paved with marble; he mounted a broad flight of marble steps leading to 41<br />
the main doorway; he entered a guardroom, just within the doorway, where the guards stood in rank with shouldered muskets, every<br />
man of them asleep and snoring his best. He made his way through a number of rooms filled with ladies and gentlemen, some standing,<br />
others sitting, but all asleep. He drew aside a heavy purple curtain, and once more held his breath; for he was looking into the great<br />
Hall of State where, at a long table, sat and slumbered the King with his Council. The Lord Chancellor slept in the act of dipping pen<br />
into inkpot; the Archbishop in the act of taking snuff; and between the spectacles on the Archbishop’s nose and the spectacles on the<br />
Lord Chancellor’s a spider had spun a beautiful web.<br />
Prince Florimond tiptoed very carefully past these august sleepers and, leaving the hall by another door, came to the foot of the grand 42<br />
staircase. Up this, too, he went; wandered along a corridor to his right, and, stopping by hazard at one of the many doors, opened it and<br />
looked into a bath-room lined with mirrors and having in its midst, sunk in the floor, a huge round basin of whitest porcelain wherein a<br />
spring of water bubbled deliciously. Three steps led down to the bath, and at the head of them stood a couch, with towels, and courtsuit<br />
laid ready, exquisitely embroidered and complete to the daintiest of lace ruffles and the most delicate of body linen.<br />
Then the Prince bethought him that he had ridden far before ever coming to the wood; and the mirrors told him that he was also 43<br />
somewhat travel-stained from his passage through it. So, having by this time learnt to accept any new wonder without question, he<br />
undressed himself and took a bath, which he thoroughly enjoyed. Nor was he altogether astonished, when he tried on the clothes, to<br />
find that they fitted him perfectly. Even the rosetted shoes of satin might have been made to his measure.<br />
Having arrayed himself thus hardily, he resumed his quest along the corridor. The very next door he tried opened on a chamber all 44<br />
panelled with white and gold; and there, on a bed the curtains of which were drawn wide, he beheld the loveliest vision he had ever<br />
seen: a Princess, seemingly about seventeen or eighteen years old, and of a beauty so brilliant that he could not have believed this<br />
world held the like.<br />
But she lay still, so still … Prince Florimond drew near, trembling and wondering, and sank on his knees beside her. Still she lay, 45<br />
scarcely seeming to breathe, and he bent and touched with his lips the little hand that rested, light as a roseleaf, on the coverlet. …<br />
With that, as the long spell of her enchantment came to an end, the Princess awaked; and looking at him with eyes more tender than a 46<br />
first sight of him might seem to excuse:—<br />
“Is it you, my Prince?” she said. “You have been a long while coming!” 47<br />
The Prince, charmed by these words, and still more by the manner in which they were spoken, knew not how to find words for the 48<br />
bliss in his heart. He assured her that he loved her better than his own self. Their speech after this was not very coherent; they gazed at<br />
one another for longer stretches than they talked; but if eloquence lacked, there was plenty of love. He, to be sure, showed the more<br />
embarrassment; and no need to wonder at this—she had had time to think over what to say to him; for I hold it hot unlikely (though the<br />
story does not say anything of this) that the good Fairy Hippolyta had taken care to amuse her, during her long sleep, with some<br />
pleasurable dreams. In short, the Princess Aurora and the Prince Florimond conversed for four hours, and still without saying the half<br />
they had to say.<br />
Meanwhile all the palace had awaked with the Princess. In the Council Chamber the King opened his eyes and requested the Lord 49<br />
Chancellor to read that last sentence of his over again a little more distinctly. The Lord Chancellor, dipping his quill into the dry<br />
inkpot, asked the Archbishop in a whisper how many t’s there were in “regrettable.” The Archbishop, taking a pinch of snuff that had<br />
long ago turned to dust, answered with a terrific sneeze, which again was drowned by the striking of all the clocks in the palace, as they<br />
started frantically to make up for lost time. Dogs barked, doors banged; the Princess’s parrot screamed in his cage and was answered<br />
by the peacocks squawking from the terrace; amid which hubbub the Minister for Agriculture, forgetting his manners, made a trumpet<br />
of his hands and bawled across the table, begging His Majesty to adjourn for dinner. In short, every one’s first thought was of his own<br />
business; and, as they were not all in love, they were ready to die with hunger.<br />
Even the Queen, who had dropped asleep while discussing with her maids-of-honour the shade of mourning which most properly 50<br />
expressed regret for royal personages in a trance, lost her patience at length, and sent one of her attendants with word that she, for her<br />
part, was keen-set for something to eat, and that in her young days it had been customary for young ladies released from enchantment<br />
to accept the congratulations of their parents without loss of time. The Prince Florimond, by this message recalled to his devoirs,<br />
helped the Princess to rise. She was completely dressed, and very magnificently too.<br />
Taking his beloved Princess Aurora by the hand, he led her to her parents, who embraced her passionately and—their first transports 51<br />
over—turned to welcome him as a son, being charmed (quite apart from their gratitude) by the modest gallantry of his address. They<br />
passed into a great dining-room lined with mirrors, where they supped and were served by the royal attendants. Violins and hautboys<br />
discoursed music that was ancient indeed, but excellent, and the meal was scarcely concluded before the company enjoyed a very<br />
pleasant surprise.<br />
Prince Florimond, having no eyes but for his love, might be excused if he forgot that his attendants must, long before now, have 52<br />
carried home their report, and that his parents would be in deep distress, wondering what had become of him. But the King, the<br />
Princess’s father, had a truly royal habit of remembering details, especially when it concerned setting folks at their ease. Before dinner<br />
he had dispatched a messenger to carry word to Prince Florimond’s father, that his son was safe, and to acquaint him briefly with what<br />
108<br />
37<br />
38<br />
39
had befallen. The messenger, riding through the undergrowth—which now obligingly parted before him as it had, a while ago, to admit<br />
the Prince—and arriving at the out-skirts of the wood, found there a search-party vainly endeavouring to break through the barrier,<br />
with the Prince’s aged father standing by and exhorting them in person, to whom he delivered his message. Trembling with relief—for<br />
he truly supposed his son to be lost beyond recall—the old man entreated the messenger to turn back and escort him. So he arrived, and<br />
was ushered into the hall.<br />
The situation, to be sure, was delicate. But when these two kings, both so well meaning, had met and exchanged courtesies, and the 53<br />
one had raised the other by the hand to a place on the dais beside him, already and without speech they had almost accorded.<br />
“I am an old man,” said the Prince’s father; “I have reigned long enough for my satisfaction, and now care for little in life but to see 54<br />
my son happy.”<br />
“I think I can promise you that,” said the Princess’s father, smiling, with a glance at the two lovers. 55<br />
“I am old enough, at any rate, to have done with ambitions,” said the one. 56<br />
“And I,” said the other, “have dreamed long enough, at any rate, to despise them. What matters ruling to either of us two, while we 57<br />
see your son and my daughter reigning together?”<br />
So it was agreed, then and there; and after supper, without loss of time, the Archbishop married the Prince Florimond and the<br />
Princess Aurora in the chapel of the Castle. The two Kings and the Princess’s mother saw them to their chamber, and the first maid-ofhonour<br />
drew the curtain. They slept little—the Princesshad no occasion; but the Prince next morning led his bride back to the city,<br />
where they were acclaimed by the populace and lived happy ever after, reigning in prosperity and honour.<br />
Ye Maids, to await some while a lover fond,<br />
Rich, titled, debonair as Florimond,<br />
Is reason; and who learns on fate to attend<br />
Goes seldom unrewarded in the end—<br />
“What! No one kiss us for a hundred years!”<br />
There, la-la-la! I understood, my dears.<br />
Further, the story would suggest a doubt<br />
That marriage may be happiest when deferr’d—<br />
“Deferr’d?” you cry—“Deferr’d,” I see you pout,<br />
—We’ll skip this moral, and attempt a third.<br />
Thirdly, our fable then appears to prove<br />
Disparity of years no bar to love.<br />
Crabb’d Age and Youth—But that’s an ancient quarrel,<br />
And I’ll not interfere. There’s no third moral.<br />
MORAL<br />
ANOTHER<br />
ANOTHER<br />
109<br />
58
APPENDIX C<br />
INDIVIDUELE TRITURATIE SYMPTOMEN C1<br />
Prover 1<br />
C1:<br />
Mooie blauwe kleur, tijdens beginnen gevoel dat er glas in zit<br />
Heel snel al tintelingen oren, gloeien<br />
Pijn rechterarm, doof gevoel<br />
Ga steeds sneller wrijven<br />
Nu al deze symptomen, oh jee, wat heftig!<br />
Druk op mijn hoofd, heftig, help!!<br />
Mijn God, hou ik dit vol?<br />
Gevoel van bedreiging, alsof poeder me kan aanvallen<br />
Stekende pijn rechteroor<br />
Angst, heen en weer lopen, voel me een dier wat opgesloten zit<br />
Hoofdpijn, voorhoofd, pijn neuswortel<br />
Pijn rechter knie<br />
Misselijk, boeren<br />
Pijn kaken<br />
Opgejaagd gevoel van binnen<br />
Drukkend gevoel in hartstreek<br />
Ga steeds sneller schrapen, agressief gevoel (ik zit boven, Dennis kan het beneden horen)<br />
Snelle gedachten, gaan kriskras<br />
Jeuk kin<br />
Druk achter mijn oren<br />
Steken in oren<br />
Zie spoken (?) in zwarte gewaden<br />
Gevoel van een “donkere” energie<br />
Wil het poeder vermorzelen, krijg gevoel van onmacht<br />
Jeuk in gezicht<br />
Gevoel alsof ik in een horrorfilm zit: sodemieter op!<br />
Tijdens schrapen zie ik een begraafplaats, gevoel dat ik een graf aan het graven ben<br />
Rug warm<br />
Jeuk hoofd<br />
Na afloop ga ik uitgebreid mijn handen wassen, wil het van me af wassen, ga douchen, wil het van me afspoelen!<br />
Prover 2<br />
Misselijk<br />
Zwaar gevoel op de maag<br />
Oprispingen<br />
Prikkelende neus als van vrieskou<br />
Verdrietig<br />
Rommelende buik<br />
Voel me alleen en verdrietig, alleen op de wereld<br />
Wil eigenlijk stoppen<br />
In de steek gelaten<br />
Misselijke gevoel neemt de overhand<br />
Heet gevoel in keel<br />
Re oog traant een beetje<br />
Vijzel ziet er uit als schaatsbaan, poeder van alle schaatsen die erover heen zijn gegaan het draaien klinkt als van schaatsen op ijs.<br />
Denk aan vroeger op de ijsbaan<br />
Koud, winterkoud, lekker<br />
Li-oog traant ook, re niet meer<br />
Koud - moet aan voorfilm denken van de "Sneeuwkoningin" . Woont in een kasteel van ijs.<br />
Voel me rustig<br />
Koude neus<br />
Mijn jas ligt in de buurt, die doe ik aan - lekker<br />
Koude handen en gezicht. Behaaglijk, ik voel me loom<br />
Laatste 5 minuten ben ik in slaap gevallen.<br />
Prover 3<br />
Situatie voor de trituratie. Ik ben heel moe, de afgelopen weken heel druk met werk en school. Ik had niet door dat we les hadden, per<br />
ongeluk ontdekt.<br />
Ik krijg een bergje blauw spul in mijn vijzel. Het ziet er heel mooi uit. Heel mooi.<br />
Gelijk gevoel van opwinding, prachtig spul! Zin om te beginnen nieuwsgierigheid naar de uitkomst van de trituratie.<br />
1e deel lactose<br />
Opwinding gevoelt in de maag<br />
Gelijk gevolgd door gevoel van volle blaas en dat ik mijn broek ga plassen van opwinding<br />
Ik zie een jongentje van 4-6 jaar die iets doet wat niet mag van moeder en lacht erom hahaha! Ik heb het je geflikt en je hebt het niet eens<br />
110
door!<br />
Kinderen in een soort park die spelen met een bal<br />
Gooien de bal in de lucht (helder blauwe lucht)<br />
Jeuk linker oor (inside)<br />
Jeuk rechter schouder<br />
Jeuk rechter pols<br />
Jeuk in de neus<br />
Jeuk in het rechter oor<br />
Onrust van de jeuk<br />
Jeuk rechter been onder knie<br />
Haar moet weg van gezicht<br />
Irritatie door haar en jeuk<br />
Jeuk rug/onrust gaat door<br />
Jeuk rechter wang<br />
Jeuk hoofd links<br />
Jeuk achter in het verhemelte<br />
Jeuk, jeuk, jeuk wat irritant!! Alles draait om de jeuk!<br />
Bittere smaak in de mond na slok water <<br />
Het smaak naar gal<br />
Slok water voor 2 e keer < weer<br />
Denk aan artisjokken/witlof, eerst denk ik lekker! Daarna afschuwelijk! Getver!<br />
Bittere smaak in de mond gaat door, ik voel het vooral op de tong<br />
Jeuk achterkant van het hoofd, onder schedelbasis<br />
Ik kan niet genieten van de trituratie door de jeuk<br />
Jeuk linker schouder<br />
Jeuk in de rug<br />
Tijdens trituratie ook de volgende dingen die ik over het hoofd heb gezien:<br />
Heel kort brandende ogen<br />
Van uitgezakt op mijn stoel zitten met de vijzel op mijn schoot naar rechtop zitten met vijzel op tafel<br />
Gevoel van een soort spinnenweb of iets op mijn gezicht toen ik mijn haar irritant vond.<br />
‘Savonds 8-12-04<br />
Ik kom thuis met enorme honger gevoel, na 1 boterham vol<br />
Ik kan niet direct in slaap vallen, raar meestal doe ik dat wel<br />
Honger snachts<br />
Koud- vooral de benen<br />
Droom:<br />
Ik heb een soort condylomata op mijn knieën, paarsig en gezwollen, ik zie vaten die erin lopen. Daarna vallen ze op de grond en laten ze<br />
gaten (zweren) achter. Op de grond gaan ze groeien en een enorme bij komt en gaat erin om te eten.<br />
Mijn zus en vader staan op straat, ik kom ze tegen. Mijn zus vertelt me dat mijn moeder kanker heeft en dat ze ergens in November dood zal<br />
gaan. Zij weet precies de datum. Mijn moeder staat op eens achter mijn zus en kijkt alsof ze van niets weet. Ik heb het gevoel dat ze van niets<br />
weet. Ik vind dat heel erg.<br />
‘sochtends 9-12-04<br />
Ik ga de deur uit en laat ik de verwarming aan staan. Doe ik nooit. Ik doe altijd alles uit. Van mijn vader overgenomen die gewoonte. Het kan<br />
me niet schelen dat de verwarming aan blijft.<br />
Irritatie omdat het heel druk is op straat. (meestal ook wel maar nu was ik heel snel geïrriteerd)<br />
‘snachts 9-12-04<br />
Wakker van de pijn (ongesteld geworden) dit heb ik altijd. Opvallend is dat bij het leggen van mijn linker hand op de buik, mijn inwendige<br />
organen heel gedetailleerd kan voelen, alsof ik met mijn hand door de huid heen kan. Ik voelde mijn uterus heel goed.<br />
‘sochtends 10-12-04<br />
Ik weet dat ik gedroomd heb maar ik weet niet wat.<br />
Ik voel me koud. Gedoucht met heel warm water, heet. Het brandt mijn huid maar ik vind het lekker. Dit is voor mij heel raar. Nooit eerder<br />
gehad. Ik ben meestal heel warm.<br />
Ik kijk in de spiegel en ik zie er ontzettend rond en gezwollen uit, mijn buik, heupen en benen. Ik vind dat lelijk, vreselijk. Het ziet er uit<br />
alsof de verhouding met de rest van het lichaam niet klopt. Ook nog nooit eerder gehad.<br />
Nog steeds koud. Verwarming aan (20 C) meestal staat ie op (15 C) en ik vind het warm zat.<br />
Ik heb een T-shirt aan, fluwelen vest aan en een fleece trui erop. Alles blauw. Ook mijn ondergoed is vandaag blauw.<br />
11-12-04<br />
Brandende pijn in maag na appel, anders nooit<br />
Raak veel sneller verzadigd<br />
12-12-04<br />
16:59 uur raak veel sneller verzadigd met eten<br />
13-12-04<br />
Zit er tegen op om naar buiten te gaan wegens de kou.<br />
S’avonds 20 uur eten, weer heel snel verzadigd<br />
S’nachts heel kou, kan niet in slaap vallen wegens kou. Moet extra deken halen, dubbel gevouwen, vooral mijn bovenbenen en knieen zijn<br />
koud. Ook mijn voeten, ijskoud. Dit is zeer ongewoon voor mij. Ik slaap meestal met een deken en de verwarming bijna uit. Nu 2 dekens een<br />
111
dubbel gevouwen en de verwarming hoger.<br />
14-12-04<br />
Pukkeltjes met jeuk op borst en voorhoofd. Heel erg klein, bijna niet te zien. In de nacht van 13 tot 14 december de jeuk op voorhoofd al<br />
gevoeld.<br />
2 keer gedroomd dat mijn tanden eraf vielen. Gezonde tanden zonder gaatjes maar wel dun. Alsof ik schelpen in mijn mond had. In de<br />
tweede droom was er iets over het uiterlijk. Ik had geen tanden en dacht “ nu zie ik er niet uit” wat erg!!<br />
16-12-04<br />
Wakker geworden met keelpijn, stekend links, voelt dik van binnen.<br />
Warm drinken is verschrikkelijk, het steekt enorm. Eten gaat wel.<br />
Woede onderdrukken als ik me niet gezien of gehoord voel. Zin om te schreeuwen voor aandacht en om dingen tegen de muur te smijten.<br />
Verdriet gevoeld in mijn borst, zo voel ik het altijd.<br />
17-12-04<br />
Vieze gal smaak in de mond weer<br />
Kriebelhoest, had ik al sinds september of zo. Tijdje niet gevoeld, nu terug.<br />
18-19-20 december 2004<br />
Een aantal keer kriebelhoest, vooral links. Dit had ik al, sinds september of zo.<br />
21-12-04<br />
Brandende ogen tijdens het lezen.<br />
4 januari 2005 2<br />
e deel lactose:<br />
Steeds bezig met de tijd, wat gaat het langzaam<br />
Misschien is het nu niet de tijd om dit te doen<br />
Pijn in rechter pols, moeheid van tritureren<br />
Mis de groep<br />
Niet leuk in mijn eentje<br />
Gevoel van zenuwen in maag, gerelateerd aan de tijd<br />
Haast om het af te maken<br />
Volle blaas<br />
Haast<br />
Snel verwrijven<br />
Steeds aan mijn haar zitten<br />
Tijd gaat langzaam<br />
Ik wou dat de groep er was, ik zou me dan beter voelen en de trituratie meer betekenis hebben<br />
Bitter smaak in de mond<br />
Jeuk op sternum<br />
Super sterke bittere smaak in mijn mond. Geconcentreerd op de tong.<br />
Gevoel van moeheid in de ogen<br />
3 e deel lactose:<br />
Droge neus binnenkant<br />
Droge keel<br />
Kramp in pols, snel verwrijven omdat ik het snel wil afmaken<br />
Tijd gaat langzaam<br />
Jeuk in hoofd, linker kant boven<br />
Irritatie omdat de verschijnselen zich herhalen<br />
Haar is irritant<br />
Moeheid in ogen<br />
Drukkende pijn in voorhoofd druk <<br />
Brandende linker oog<br />
Jeuk boven rechter knie<br />
Jeuk voorhoofd rechts<br />
Tijd gaat langzaam, ik ben het zitten zat. Ik ga even wandelen met vijzel. Een beetje rondkijken, naar buiten kijken, praatje maken met mijn<br />
vriend (zit in de huiskamer).<br />
Raar gevoel in de cardia, alsof er iets vasts in zit. Daarbij voel ik een soort misselijkheid<br />
112
Prover 5<br />
1 e trituratie in<br />
kliniek<br />
uitgevoerd.<br />
- Vredig, rustig gevoel. Tot me zelf beginnen te komen.<br />
-Linker slaap drukkende hoofdpijn, heb nooit hoofdpijn<br />
-wegtrekken hoofdpijn/druk onder achter laten van koude plek, als of<br />
het nat geweest is en de wind er nu langs gaat, met gevoel zoals je<br />
dat bij vrieskoude hoog in de ijle lucht in de bergen hebt.<br />
Na trit. -gevoel of ik stevigheid krijg in gebied tussen uiteinde borstbeen t/m<br />
bekken: BASIS hebben.<br />
Maakt mij stabiel en niet meer zo bang voor alles, wat ik de laatste<br />
tijd erg had.<br />
Mezelf terug gekregen. Al anderhalve week dit gevoel.<br />
Kijk uit naar tritt. 2 en 3 van C1.<br />
-vergeten van dingen die ik normaal als automatisme doe<br />
b.v. boodschappenkrat meenemenl.<br />
-kramp links, voetzool<br />
-kramp links, grote teen<br />
-kramp in voetzool of grote teen > gaan staan.<br />
Gen/side/left<br />
Head/pain/pressure/left<br />
Head/feeling/cold after wet, sensation.<br />
Mind/confidence self<br />
M/forgetfull/normal things<br />
M/weaknes/normal things<br />
Extr/cramps/lower limbs/left<br />
Extr/cramps/foot/sole/left<br />
Extr/cramps/foot/sole/in bed<br />
Extr/cramps/foot/sole/standing amel.<br />
Extr/cramps/toes/first/in bed<br />
Prover 7<br />
C1 trituatie op 9 december 2004<br />
Hoofdpijn direct na begin.<br />
Voel mij heel open en blij. Raak in een intensief gesprek met Gert en Alize. Heb het gevoel precies te begrijpen hoe alles in elkaar zit. Doet<br />
mij erg denken aan mijn puberteit. Ik weet wel hoe het zit.<br />
De eerste 2 weken elke dag misselijk, de hele dag door. Daarna regelmatig als ik wakker wordt.<br />
Slaap erg onrustig. Droom over alles en nog wat, heel banale dromen ( b.v. over huishouden, boodschappen doen). Wordt elke !!!! nacht<br />
wakker. Minimaal 1 keer meestal 2 of 3 keer.<br />
Ben ’s morgens doodmoe.<br />
Zweet ’s nachts regelmatig (doe ik normaal nooit)<br />
Heb ijskoude voeten en handen.<br />
Enkele keren een heel erg opgeblazen buik.<br />
Voel mij als een Jojo. Het ene moment blij het volgende moment erg droevig, verdrietig, zonder aanleiding. Wil wel dood.<br />
Maak via de telefoon ruzie met mijn moeder. Wordt enorm boos op haar, schreeuw. Ze is niet redelijk, erg onrechtvaardig. Ze begrijpt het<br />
echt niet!<br />
Ook dat doet mij denken aan mijn puberteitsjaren!<br />
Heb veel en stevige aanvaringen met mijn twee puberzonen.<br />
Koop voor het eerst in mijn leven een lichtblauw kledingstuk.<br />
Ben mij erg bewust van oude mensen. Zie ze overal. Ik denk, dat ze erg eenzaam zijn. Ben bang om oud te worden.<br />
Ik wilde niemand tot last zijn, moet dat alleen oplossen, maar uiteindelijk bel ik met Jacqueline en gooi het er allemaal uit. Ik kan het niet<br />
meer alleen aan, het wordt mij teveel. Dat luchtte al op. De dag daarna gaat het ook nog. Slaap daarna voor het eerst sinds begin december<br />
twee nachten door!!<br />
Val weer terug en tel de dagen, en op het laatst zelfs uren totdat het eindelijk lesdag is en ik hopelijk wordt bevrijd.<br />
Prover 8<br />
"Eenzaamheid is alles delen met jezelf"<br />
Dit is het gevoel wat ik heb na de trituraties. Kwam spontaan in me op toen ik in bed lag.<br />
C1 scherpe geur in mijn neus<br />
trekken aan mijn schouders<br />
tintelende koude benen<br />
kriebel onder mijn haar<br />
kippenvel rillingen<br />
de steen der wijzen<br />
Poolster<br />
IJstijd<br />
voel me leeg en verdrietig<br />
"lonely planet"<br />
verder eenzaam, eenzaam. eenzaam.<br />
Prover 10<br />
C1. 8-12-04<br />
1. a. ogen branden, druk achter ogen<br />
b.ik kan mijn longen bijna voelen, gapen, neus prikkelt, ik kan de middel bijna proeven, een beetje verdrietig<br />
2. 26-01-05<br />
Neem ik mijzelf slecht waar?, Polsen doen pijn, hoesten<br />
-intense, toegenomen gevoel, een soort druk op mij, alsof ik een race doe, hoest<br />
3. ik baal van de blauwe kleur, prikkelende ogen, vooral rechts,<br />
-plotseling honger<br />
Prover 16<br />
113
Fysiek begon vanaf zaterdag 11-12-2004:<br />
enorm eczeem in gezicht, buik, billen, achterbovenbenen ( sinds baby heb ik constitutioneel eczeem, wat de eerste 22 jaar is onderdrukt met<br />
zware middelen o.a. prednison) rood pijnlijk, jeukende pukkeltjes<br />
jeukende oogleden, brandende ogen, m.n. rechter ooglid met schilfers<br />
tranenvloed met brandende uitscheiding<br />
gezwollen ogen bij opstaan dit heeft ruim twee weken aangehouden<br />
ogen vermoeid en pijnlijk, slecht kunnen zien<br />
ontstoken ogen<br />
doorlopend hoofdpijn, ook langere tijd aangehouden<br />
kaak verkrampt links heeft week geduurd<br />
's nachts extreem koud hebben<br />
Zaterdagavond d.d.11-12-2004 enorm gehuild, kwam ineens opzetten, ik had al heel lang niet meer zo gehuild, verlaten eenzaam gevoel,<br />
Siberisch gevoel.<br />
Zondag 12-12-2004, ik heb geen zin in werken.<br />
Veel dromen over mijn vader en het verleden.<br />
Dinsdag 14-12-2004 een dag flink opgeruimd, dit voelde goed daarna enorme ruzie met partner terwijl het heel lief voelde, dus de enorme<br />
omslag.<br />
Die nacht niet kunnen slapen, heel naar wakker worden vervreemd, zo moe, totale energie is weg.<br />
Mis mijn kinderen.<br />
Woensdag 15-12-2004 gevoel niet erbij te horen vanaf dat moment het terugtrekken begonnen en de extreme zwijgzaamheid,<br />
het heeft geen zin meer om te praten als ik niet begrepen wordt, zo voelde het diep van binnen.<br />
na ovulatie rond 23-12-2004 net boven de rechter borst pijnlijke klierzwelling van zo een 10 cm, dit heeft twee weken geduurd,<br />
na menses was het weg.<br />
slaap: veel slapeloosheid met dromen en wakker liggen<br />
niet kunnen opstaan vanuit niet meer willen<br />
energie volledig verdwenen<br />
gevoelens van: alleen zijn, er niet bij horen, apathisch, koppig, extreem zwijgzaam, wantrouwen, totaal terugtrekken, vervreemding, dingen<br />
dringen niet door, ontzettend traag, geen zin in werken en er niet toe kunnen komen.<br />
Het overheersende gevoel het zonder familie te moeten doen, het gevoel afscheid te moeten nemen hierin,<br />
dit gevoel klopt met de werkelijkheid, het is een tijd voor mij van afscheid nemen.<br />
Prover 17<br />
na de trituratie een enorme woede uitbarsting gehad 9-12-2004 19.30<br />
een explosie.<br />
VRESELIJK<br />
mijn familie is zich rot geschrokken<br />
mijn zoon riep dit ben je niet!<br />
vraag me af of ik door wil gaan?<br />
Ruik de hele avond zeeplucht.<br />
Als de stof in mijn vijzel komt verbaasd het mij hoe mooi de kleur blauw is.<br />
Ik ruik eraan om te controleren of de zeeplucht van de stof komt. Dat is niet zo.<br />
Het voelt heel spannend. Een soort opwinding maakt zich van mij meester. We gaan beginnen!<br />
Dan luidt Sjaq de bel en direct komt het gevoel alsof de bel luidt voor de sacristie.<br />
Er komt een soort heilig gevoel over me een gewijd gevoel. Dit ervaar ik als spiritueel en komt openheid vanaf boven, in mij. (begint bij<br />
kruin chakra) (gebeurd soms als ik mediteer, maar niet zo intens zo opeens zo allesomvattend)<br />
Alize begint te praten en het irriteert me. Houd je mond denk ik. Dan sluit ik me ervoor af.<br />
Zie in mijn kom mooie patronen lagen, opgebouwd van beneden naar boven als richels.<br />
De stof blijft hangen.<br />
Dan opent zich mijn linker neusgat. Als of er zuivere zuurstof doorheen komt. Later mijn re ook maar niet zo open als de li.<br />
Ik adem diep en rustig en er komt een diepe rust over me. Mijn borstkas opent zich en vult zicht met zuurstof, lucht.<br />
S 1 Ik zie mooie, blauwgrijze substantie met glans.<br />
W2 Ruik opnieuw de zeeplucht. Het valt me op dat Evelien een roze rood glittertje op d´r wang heeft. Mijn ogen staan wijdt open, neem heel<br />
helder waar. Ik ben me bewust van de omgeving en als ik rondkijk zie ik diep triest, treurig en lijden op een aantal gezichten. Wat mij niet<br />
raakt, ik neem alleen waar.<br />
Ik krijg opeens jeuk ik de kleine ruimte tussen neus en bovenlip. Dan overvalt me ineens een slaperigheid.<br />
S2 Krijg de stof niet los. De inhoud in de kom lijkt veeel kleiner. Dan in een impuls wil ik een hapje nemen, doe het niet. Mijn haren irriteren<br />
en ik denk dat ik snel naar de kapper moet om het af te knippen. Ik krijg dorst en ga naar de keuken. Het water in mijn kopje is vrij warm,<br />
maar als ik mijn vinger in steek is het lauw tot koud.<br />
Ik voel me heel goed, prettig.<br />
Opvallend. Bij het vertellen van mijn verhaal was ik alleen daar mee bezig. Dit is bijzonder meestal ben ik me bewust dat iedereen kijkt ook<br />
dat de camera draait. Na het vertellen was ik me wel bewust dat iedereen keek en voelde ik me heel verlegen.<br />
114
Volgende dag<br />
In de avond na sporten om 19.30 thuis. Spoedje aan telefoon!<br />
Zoon riep van boven. Maak je het eten klaar. Papa komt zo thuis.<br />
Ik vroeg of hij wilde helpen maar hij liep weer naar zijn kamer. Man kwam thuis. Wat eten we?<br />
Ik explodeerde, extreem!!!!<br />
Ik ging tekeer als een viswijf. Ik kan boos zijn maar zo, nog nooit! Zo explosief! Zo onredelijk. Tijdens schreeuwen herkende ik mijn eigen<br />
stem niet en ik dacht: stop stop. Maar kon niet stoppen.<br />
Later na mijn excuus zei mijn zoon: mam dit ben je niet.<br />
Man zei: je bent je nog nooit zo boos geweest zo hysterisch.<br />
Ik ben erg geschrokken. Was daarna zo mak als een lammetje. Erg in mezelf gekeerd<br />
Wel bewust dat deze heftige reactie van de testing komt.<br />
14-12<br />
Voel me goed en relaxed ondanks veel activiteiten in het weekend. Ik voel me open en toegankelijk.<br />
Patiënten komen niet opdagen vanaf donderdag zonder afbellen . Iedere dag eentje.<br />
Is heel opvallend. Gebeurt zelden. Heel relaxed.<br />
Bewust dat ik de C1 niet af wil maken ivm explosie gevaar.<br />
7-1<br />
conflict met mijn dochter.<br />
Nee, gezegd wat een enorme ruzie veroorzaakte.<br />
Daarna intens verdrietig en uren gehuild. Het verdriet van de afgelopen jaren kwam eruit, (Ik huil zelden)<br />
Afmaken C1 27-1-2005<br />
Tijdens de verwrijving komen beelden naar boven over situaties waar ik in het verleden boos over ben geweest. Hebben allemaal te maken<br />
met het overschrijden van mijn grenzen. De woede borrelt in me op vanuit mijn lenden.<br />
Heftig maar ik ben me bewust van de kern van de woede. Ik ben niet duidelijk, ik laat het gebeuren.<br />
Gevoel van dorst.<br />
Ga water drinken 2 glazen vol. Mijn geur is versterkt.<br />
Prover 19<br />
Lang uitgesteld voor ik er aan begin.<br />
> Kan me niet meer herinneren hoe ik C1 moet maken.<br />
><br />
> Zwaar, vast, langzaam.<br />
> Hoe kom ik bij C1 - C4?<br />
><br />
> Langzaam ademen.<br />
> Vettig.<br />
> Lamme bovenarmen.<br />
> Hoofd --> pressure.<br />
><br />
> Vettige klei.<br />
> Hoe heet die keramist ook alweer?<br />
> Hoogerdam, Hoogendam.<br />
><br />
> Zwaar in maag / boven middenrif / longen.<br />
> Heel diep en langzaam ademen.<br />
><br />
> Loopneus, neus ophalen.<br />
> Dun transparant vocht.<br />
><br />
> Niet goed concentreren.<br />
> Gedachten steeds ergens anders.<br />
><br />
> Geeuwen.<br />
> Onbeweeglijk.<br />
INDIVIDUELE TRITURATIE SYMPTOMEN C2<br />
Prover 1<br />
C2<br />
Wat ik bemerk is dat ik geen horloge om heb, dat is niets voor mij!<br />
Pijn, druk op oren<br />
Verkramping schouders, rug wat mij zeer irriteert, grrrr….<br />
Ben snel aan het verwrijven<br />
Explosief “BOEM”!<br />
Schilderen? Ik heb liever een boksbal!<br />
Branderig gevoel mond en puntje tong, gevoel alsof er een blaar/aften zit<br />
Ondeugend gevoel<br />
Hoofdpijn<br />
Warm hoofd<br />
115
Gloeiende warmte vanuit nek, hoofd, schouderbladen<br />
Jeuk rechteroog<br />
Jeuk in algemeen<br />
Hierna word ik rustiger, lieflijker, alsof in een soort trance<br />
Gloeiende wangen, gloeiende oren<br />
Vrolijk en gelukkig gevoel, voel me dankbaar dat ik dit allemaal mag meemaken<br />
Hartkloppingen<br />
Zware benen<br />
Moe<br />
Gloeien, brandend gevoel borststreek<br />
Transpirerende handen (dit heb ik normaal nooit, altijd koude handen)<br />
Als Vanessa over de vlinder vertelt, komt het woord transformatie in mij op.<br />
Ik moet heel sterk denken aan een patiënt uit de stagekliniek die we de vorige dag hebben gezien, die had ook iets met “tijd”, haar naam<br />
komt steeds naar boven.<br />
Thuis heb ik hevige dorst en reageer ik ondeugend, plagen.<br />
Als ik in bed lig blijft er een liedje in mijn hoofd hangen, de tekst die zich herhaalt in mijn hoofd is : “let it be love”.<br />
Ik slaap lekker, voel me “wollig”, warm<br />
De volgende dag 27 januari op weg naar mijn werk zie ik diverse auto’s om mij heen, die allemaal een cijfer 8 (?) in hun kenteken hebben.<br />
Zelf hebben wij ook een auto met het cijfer 8 in het kenteken.<br />
Op het werk is het ontzettend druk, er gaat van alles mis, maar ik voel me er totaal niet verbonden mee. De dagen erna heb ik moeite met<br />
concentreren, voel me afwezig, duf, duurt ongeveer een week.<br />
Prover 3<br />
C2 26 januari 2005<br />
1 e deel lactose<br />
Irritatie<br />
Dan lachen<br />
Irritatie linker oog – knipperen<br />
Stuwing in het hoofd – hete wangen<br />
Gevoel dat ik ben afgeleid – ik zit er niet in<br />
Vrijheid – los breken<br />
Blauwe lucht – blauwe vogels – elektrisch blauw –donker dus<br />
Vrijheid tov Materie<br />
Verbinding tov ziel – spirit<br />
Schrappen<br />
Eerder het zat zijn – wil nu door met trituratie<br />
Obs Jacqueline zegt schrappen ipv tritureren –doet ze vaker<br />
Neutrale toestand, voel niets specifieks<br />
Blauw is mooi<br />
Blauwe golven – water- zee<br />
Glimlachen<br />
SE van geluk<br />
Soort trance – neutraal gevoel (trance ken ik wel van mijzelf)<br />
Omgeving is vaag.<br />
Ik wil gaan schilderen maar wil vijzel en gevoel niet loslaten<br />
2 e deel lactose<br />
Blauwe vlinders<br />
Vrijheid<br />
Getekend op de muur<br />
Klaar met tekenen = lekker gevoel van vrijheid- ik ben klaar!<br />
Blij gevoel door naar de tekening te kijken<br />
Een samen gevoel<br />
Ik voel de resonantie en de herkenning<br />
Neutraal en lekker<br />
Ik denk ik ga zo stoppen met tritureren<br />
Ik voel dat ik ‘privilege” heb<br />
Ik heb met <strong>Hahnemann</strong> geknuffeld in de lucht – het voelde warm –lachen daardoor.<br />
Hier ga ik mijn levenstaak van maken. Homeopathie- provings- trituraties.<br />
Het voelen geeft je vrijheid.<br />
3 e deel lactose - 31-01-05<br />
Blij gevoel<br />
Zorgen over tijd – voel dat in de maag, alsof ie krimpt<br />
Gevoel dat de tijd langzaam gaat – tegenstrijdig net gestresst alsof tijd te kort<br />
Maak plannen in mijn hoofd mbt proving & trituratie van dit middel<br />
Irritant gevoel over de tijd – tijd moet weg<br />
116
Dood – ben ik er bang voor? Weet ik niet<br />
Neutraal gevoel over de dood<br />
Kramp in rechter arm van het tritureren, ik ga verder met linker arm<br />
Jeukend bultje in rechter hand, ziet er uit als een Flea bite. Misschien van insect. In ieder geval bewust ervan geworden tijdens de trituratie.<br />
IJskoud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
26 januari 2005 avond na de les<br />
Ik ga naar huis. Ik ben angstig, alsof er iets gaat gebeuren. Iemand gaat dood. Ik geef heel veel om die persoon. Dit had ik al 4/5 dagen.<br />
Gedroomd: Alize heeft een van mijn patiënten overgenomen van Marije. Heeft een andere middel voorgeschreven. Vertelt mij het verhaal<br />
over dit andere middel. Waarvan het wordt gemaakt en hoe. Het gaat om een beest, lijkt op een Armadillo. Een stuk van het beest wordt<br />
gekrust en gepotentieerd. Alize beweert dat dit middel beter is voor het kind. Zij vertelt het serieus maar mensen om haar heen lachen, alsof<br />
ze weten dat wat zij vertelt niet klopt.<br />
Ik ben boos en gefrustreerd, een soort onmacht en ongeloof. Hoe kan dit nou. Ik kan er niet bij met mijn hoofd. Ik denk: Alize: ik heb diep<br />
respect voor jou. Ik vraag je altijd om dingen. Ik overleg graag maar dit kan niet. Dit kind is mijn patiënt en ik had graag overleg met jou<br />
gehad.<br />
Anxiety tijd, een soort angst. Ik haal het niet. Gevoel even snel dit afmaken want ik moet nog dat en dat doen en ik heb te weinig tijd.<br />
27-januari-2005<br />
Ochtend: Koud en heel moe.<br />
Avond:<br />
Enorme woede uitbarsting omdat hij mij vraagt mijn post op te ruimen als ik binnen kom. Wij krijgen ruzie. Hij snapt er niets van, vertelt hij<br />
achteraf.<br />
Ik loop naar mijn kamer. Ik huil en huil.. Ik heb het ijskoud van binnen en buiten. Ik denk en voel : Ik doe zoveel uit de bodem van mijn hart<br />
en jij ziet dat niet. Jij ziet alleen dat scherp ben in mijn woorden, jij ziet de rest niet.<br />
Om geen verdere ruzie te maken loopt hij fluitend weg. Dit voelt voor mij als bevestiging dat hij mij waardeert. In een klap ben ik terug naar<br />
een soort hysterisch nerveus breakdown. Ik kan niet stoppen met huilen, snikken als een gek. Ik voel dat ik mijn relaties kapot maak. Ik snap<br />
niet hoe het kan. Ik ben zo veranderd. Ik doe zo mijn best. Maar hij doet en zegt hetzelfde als mijn huidige vriend. Ik ben wanhopig. Ik doe<br />
iets fouts maar ik zie niet wat. Ik zie het niet, ik zie het niet, ik zie het niet.<br />
Achteraf begrijp ik dat dit een soort schuldgevoel is. Ik denk dan aan de familie van mijn moeder. Het schuldgevoel van mijn opa die zijn<br />
vrouw en 3 dochter in de steek heeft gelaten. De jongste was mijn moeder en was nog geen 3 jaar oud. Ondanks ik niet meer hysterisch ben.<br />
Huil ik gemakkelijk. Mijn vriend het ik praten erover en maken het goed.<br />
Ik snap niets van deze reactie. Ik ben in een klap teruggegaan naar het moment die mij aan de therapie heeft gezet. Jaren lang heb ik eraan<br />
gewerkt en was weg, dealt with.<br />
Volgende dag om niets huilen. Nog steeds het gevoel van Ik maak alles kapot wat mijn dierbaar is omdat ik een negatief deel van mijzelf niet<br />
kan veranderen omdat ik niet zie wat er nou fout aan is!<br />
Dan pijn in de borst, links, alsof ik een klap heb gehad. Blauw plekje. Tepel gezwollen aan een kant. De volgende dagen nog meer pijn. Voelt<br />
als een ballon, gevuld met vocht. Rechter borst gaat ook pijn doen, maar links is erger. Ik hoor binnen 5 dagen (rond 2-2) ongesteld te<br />
worden.<br />
29/01/05<br />
Angst is weg. Borsten nog pijnlijk. Ik voel me goed. Rustig. Best vrolijk en vrij.<br />
Prover 5<br />
C2 trit.Thuis.<br />
di.14-12-04<br />
3 e week van<br />
advent<br />
2 e x tritt.<br />
Prover 7<br />
-loopneus bij toevoegen lac.sac<br />
-gevoel van rust, in mijn bekken rusten na 5 min tritt.<br />
-opdrogen loopneus na c.a. 5 min.<br />
bij 1e<br />
x schrapen:<br />
voel me thuis bij dit middel.<br />
-de stof is meegaand en eigenzinnig (voelt plezierig)<br />
-gevoel of ik vlak boven de enkels vastgehouden wordt op de aarde.<br />
Ik zit stevig rechtop.<br />
-na 4 min. lichte druk op overgang vertex/voorhoofd<br />
-de tijd gaat langzaam<br />
schrapen:<br />
stof laat makkelijk los van de rand, lijkt bij het schrapen overvloedig<br />
te worden, is gul. Plezierig voor mij<br />
-hartslag minder snel<br />
-gevoel van Rust.<br />
Nose/discharge/watery/sudden<br />
M/content/feeling<br />
M/time/passing too slow<br />
M/confidence self<br />
Extr/constriction/ankle/sensation<br />
Head/pressure/forehead to vertex<br />
M/rest/sensation<br />
C2 trituatie 26 januari 2005<br />
Na binnenkomst zie ik het grote vel papier en de potten verf. Ik voel mij er meteen erg toe aangetrokken. Ik wil eigenlijk niet praten maar zo<br />
gauw mogelijk beginnen aan de C2 om eindelijk verlost te worden. Nog voordat wij beginnen mag/moet ik verven. De kleuren staan vast:<br />
blauw, geel en rood. Ik wil ze het liefst niet door elkaar op het papier brengen. Wil de verf heel dik opdragen. Jammer dat ik niet over meer<br />
technieken beschik. Ben mij niet bewust wat ik doe, maar weet tegelijk dat het zo moet en niet anders. Voel mij daarna heel opgelucht en blij<br />
alsof er iets van mij afgevallen is.<br />
Tijdens de trituratie kijk ik naar de vijzel en heb de indruk dat de stof bijna oplost. Ik kijk naar mijn tekening, er moet meer blauw bij!. Ik ben<br />
117
euforisch als ik aan verven denk. Opgewonden, wil de tekening verfijnen. Ben trots op mijn schilderij. Nu is het opgelost. Tijdens het verven<br />
denk ik aan een vuurbal en aan een meteoriet.<br />
Nu komt er schot in. Ik kan vliegen!!! Zou graag meer verfijning aan willen brengen in het schilderij.<br />
Moet gapen, maar dat past niet bij mijn opgewonden zijn.<br />
Roer haastig, snel.<br />
Wil dat vasthouden. Zie anderen voor zich uit staren, dat wil ik niet. Wil niet remmen / geremd worden.<br />
Ik ben in de tijd.<br />
Alize en Jacqueline gaan door mijn tekening. Voel bijna lichamelijke pijn. Observeer nauwkeurig wat zij doen. Ze willen mij pesten. Ik<br />
probeer rustig te blijven. Bepaal voor mijzelf een grens op het schilderij tot waar zij mogen komen. Hoop intensief dat zij niet over die grens<br />
gaan. Ik weet niet wat ik dan ga doen. Als ik merk dat Alize er niet overheen komt wordt ik innerlijk rustiger. Neem wat meer afstand en<br />
wordt benieuwd naar wat het wordt. Alize weet volgens mij niet, dat blauw en geel groen wordt anders zou zij dat nooit doen. Begin de<br />
humor van wat er gebeurt in te zien. Kan het loslaten.<br />
Tijdens de nabespreking houd ik mij eerst bewust stil. Wat er gebeurde heeft mij erg diep geraakt. Als ik uiteindelijk uitleg, dat zij bijna over<br />
een grens gingen en Alize daarop zegt dat het haar daar helemaal niet om gaat, zij voelt geen grenzen, geen tijd, het is een universum, voel ik<br />
mij erg gekwetst. Ik ervaar het alsof zij haar ervaring- gewaarwording boven de mijne stelt. De hare is beter. Mijn emotionele ervaring is<br />
minder. Sowieso is mijn emotionele reactie niet goed. De interventies van enkele te hulp schietende aanwezigen voelen maar even goed. Ik<br />
moet hier alleen doorheen. Ik herken dit. Het is mijn projectie. Ik breng de normen en waarden erin en de waardering van mijn emotionaliteit<br />
is erg laag.<br />
De volgende dag ontmoet ik kort Alize. Wij praten over wat er is gebeurd. Dat doet erg goed. Nu kan ik vanuit overzichtsniveau ernaar<br />
kijken. Voel mij daarna rustig en blij.<br />
Slaap nu weer normaal.<br />
Prover 8<br />
droge koude neus<br />
koude en wit<br />
ben doodmoe<br />
krijg steeds meer rillingen<br />
beeld van een hele verre planeet die explodeert/tijdloos<br />
voel me wezenloos<br />
ijsbergen<br />
Heel slecht geslapen. Voel veel boosheid en kan dat niet echt kwijt. Droom over een zwerm bijen in mijn slaapkamer. Ik word gestoken. Er<br />
zit een nest in het gordijn. Ze komen er allemaal uitvliegen.Een voor mij onbekende pakt het gordijn en klopt het uit.<br />
Prover 10<br />
C2<br />
Een hele reeks van gedachten, alles wat gezegd was, verteld was, hoe ik met mijn innerlijk kind moet verbinden, ben ik<br />
onderdrukt?<br />
-Het is lekker om alleen te zijn, bij mijzelf te zijn, met mijn gedachten te zijn. Ik vind het jammer dat de trituratie afgelopen is.<br />
Het was een beetje als een droom – een stroom van gedachte die voorbij ging, gedachten die ik beleefd heb, ik voelde me<br />
afgezonderd -van de groep, van mijzelf.<br />
2-2-05<br />
Ik weet niet hoe ik me voel, een beetje eenzaam, Ik doe dingen om tijd te vullen? Tijd vullers,? Dag vullers? Ik zou graag naar een<br />
diepte willen gaan van totaal verveeld te zijn & hopelijk terugkomen. Iets slaapt in mij en ik kan het niet wakker maken dus ik blijf<br />
proberen en diegene wat slaapt trekt tegelijk mij, vooral zwaar op mijn rug, het trekt mijn naar voren & beneden.<br />
Prover 16<br />
Deze verwrijving heb ik niet gedaan.<br />
Er gebeurt zoveel dat ik het niet goed kan bijhouden,<br />
vooral op gebied van afscheid nemen.<br />
Prover 19<br />
Leegte die heel prettig is.<br />
> Ritmisch, rustig draaien.<br />
><br />
> Gelukkig dat ik alles nog heb (ledematen).<br />
> Alsof aan de binnenkant van ei, de schaal, de schil, binnenin.<br />
><br />
> Verlaagd bewustzijn.<br />
> Dikke foetale ogen.<br />
> Gedempt.<br />
><br />
> Eigenlijk niets-voelen.<br />
> Onraakbaar.<br />
><br />
> Mijn rechterarm doet het niet meer.<br />
> Schrapen vanuit de pols.<br />
><br />
> Denken aan sterven van de kou, bewustzijn verlaat dan het lichaam.<br />
> Heel veel keer geeuwen.<br />
INDIVIDUELE SYMPTOMEN TRITURATIE C3<br />
Prover 1<br />
Ik ruik gelijk al een sterke lucht, kan het niet thuis brengen, benzine?<br />
118
Steken in mijn rechterzij, gebied lever<br />
Hoofdpijn<br />
Voel me weemoedig<br />
Vervlogen tijden, zit in een ouderwets straatbeeld, zwartwit, mensen in ouderwetse kledij, lijkt op een oude ansichtkaart. Er is iets wat me<br />
benauwd.<br />
Gevoel alsof er iets in mijn keel zit<br />
Daarna is er stilte, sereniteit.<br />
Slaperig<br />
(sonar) trillingen in mijn lichaam<br />
Verdriet, oud zeer: oorlog, joden, zie rijen magere, trieste mensen staan die afgevoerd worden naar de concentratiekampen, voel stekende<br />
pijn in mijn hart<br />
Moet diep zuchten<br />
Steken linkeroor<br />
Brandend gevoel bovenlip<br />
Opgezette buik<br />
Hoesten<br />
AFSLUITING (wil me het liefst omdraaien, met mijn rug naar de groep toe gaan zitten, maar denk: dat kan ik niet maken en doe het niet)<br />
Gedachten aan vroeger komen naar boven: mijn oma’s en opa en aan wat zij gevoeld moeten hebben in de oorlog<br />
Verdriet van familie<br />
Moe, zwaar gevoel<br />
Marije begint erg te hoesten en ik denk: zie je wel: gaskamer!<br />
VERDRIET IS TE ERG, TE ZWAAR<br />
Later tijdens bespreken in de groep heb ik het enorm koud en last van hartkloppingen.<br />
Prover 3<br />
1 e deel lactose<br />
Ik zie geel/goud om me heen<br />
Ik zit op top van de berg<br />
Rust gevoel – zware ogen, alsof ik ga slapen<br />
Ik zou zo eeuwen kunnen zitten!<br />
Tijd bestaat niet<br />
Er is heel veel ruimte om me heen<br />
Heel moe- slaperig<br />
Medelijden maar zonder gericht object – naar wat of wie gericht niet bekend.<br />
Ik zit op de top van de berg waar de engelen niet durven<br />
Alles daarboven is compleet en geheel<br />
2 e deel lactose<br />
Oranje om me heen<br />
Ik ruik een zoetig/fruitig geur. (Als de thuja) Ik ruik bomen<br />
Toestand van “purity” = zuiverheid, <strong>Nederland</strong>s woord komt later in me op<br />
Verbergen – ik ga zitten boven op een plek waar niemand mij kan zien toch weet ik dat alles er is.<br />
Neutrale meditatieve toestand<br />
Heel moe – slaperig<br />
Denk aan mijn oma, tante, oom en nog een oom. Allemaal overleden, ik heb ze ook gekend<br />
3 e deel<br />
Ik zie een stiervecht van boven<br />
Ik ben de stier en ook de stiervechter en tegelijkertijd neem ik het van boven waar.<br />
Steken in linker borst, van tepel recht naar binnen dwars door de borst heen<br />
Ik zie grote, gigantische bomen, ik denk aan de dood, moeder aarde. Dit volgt na de beuk.<br />
Opeens helder, helemaal terug, gevoel van herboren zijn. Honger gevoel, lege maag.<br />
Ik wil graag naar de C4!<br />
Ik weet even niet zo goed wat ik op aarde doe.<br />
Rustig doorgaan, misschien komt het nog (weten wat ik hier doe)<br />
Neutraal gevoel.<br />
Nacht van 2-2-05<br />
Dezelfde nacht gedroomd dat ik zo boos was op iemand dat ik niet kon stoppen met schreeuwen tot dat ik overging in slaan. Ik heb die<br />
persoon met geweld een kamer ingeduwd en ik ging erop los. De reden: zij was ver over mijn grenzen heen gegaan. Een vrouwelijke<br />
familielid die verliefd is op mijn vriend en daar op af ging. Mijn gedachten: “ jij komt niet aan het meest heilig in mijn leven” Daarna enorm<br />
verdriet en huilen omdat mijn vriend boos was over mijn actie. Hij zegt in de droom: You have made a scene at a family party and that is not<br />
the place to do it! You have no respect for anybody!!<br />
Donderdag 3-2-05<br />
Volgende ochtend droge hoest met een ruw gevoel in mijn sternum. Herken dit gevoel van de tijd dat ik bronchitis heb gehad op mijn 18 e . Ik<br />
hoest steeds een keer. Doe ik al een tijdje zo, als ik moet hoesten, bedoel ik.<br />
Ongelofelijke trek in yoghurt. Na vorige trituraties ook maar was me niet van bewust dat het misschien hierdoor kwam. Ik ben gewend<br />
periodes door te maken waarin ik steeds trek heb in iets concreets.<br />
Ik ben geschrokken van het feit dat ik me bewust ben dat ik liever aan de andere kant wil zitten. Ik voel me niet depressief en in feite wens ik<br />
ook niet dood te gaan maar ik voelde me daar zo goed. Als ik in contact ben met de andere kant doe ik het vanuit de aarde, vanuit mijn<br />
wezen, met als het ware een klein lijntje dat omhoog gaat. Dit doe ik meestal met Reiki-oefeningen of behandelingen. Tijdens de trituratie<br />
119
zat ik niet beneden maar boven. Het lijntje was geen lijntje, het was alles, ik was alles. Het geeft mij een raar gevoel om hier te zijn en een<br />
aardse bestaan te lijden. Ik ben echter als ik daar boven op de berg zit, want dan ben ik wat ik ben in mijn kern.<br />
Ik heb 4 cases uit te werken en ik kom er niet aan toe om er aan te beginnen. Ik heb geen kracht vrijmaken hiervoor. De kracht moet binnen<br />
mijzelf blijven. Morgen college, weet niet of ik het kan opbrengen om daarheen te gaan. Ik voel me neutraal. Het enige wat ik wil is mijn<br />
kracht voelen en ervaren wat ik werkelijk ben, en dat is, wat ik boven op die berg was.<br />
Ik weet niet zo goed wat ik hier mee aan moet. Mijn neiging is nu, rustig wachten en de aandacht op mijzelf richten. Ik voel trouwens ook<br />
enorme, overweldigende liefde naar de mensheid, in het bijzonder mijn vriend (niets nieuws). Gevoel van eenheid.<br />
Prover 5<br />
3ex tritt. 1 e x:<br />
-denk aan het boek Psalmen uit de Bijbel<br />
-prik oog, begint rechteroog bovenlid. Doorgaans ooghoek bij de<br />
neus links gaande naar rechts.<br />
-tijd gaat zo langzaam<br />
-stof voelt lekker en maakt lekker geluid, als rustig door goede<br />
sneeuw zoeven. Fijn, gelukkig gevoel in bovendeel romp.<br />
--stof voegt zich makkelijk naar mijn hand, lijkt bij schrapen meer te<br />
worden. Oogst makkelijk, i.t.t. het schrapen ban lac.h.<br />
2 e x:<br />
-fijn geluid, maakt me gelukkig<br />
-triest om dood kindje van 6 maanden in baarmoeder<br />
-ruik de geur van droogkokende koffie (was niet echt zo)<br />
-tijd gaat zo langzaam<br />
-neusgat links helemaal vrij, alsof koude vrieslucht tot diep in je<br />
longen kan gaan. Fris koud gevoel als in ijle lucht hoog in de bergen,<br />
wat me ook altijd blij maakt.<br />
-natuurrijken werken nu in deze tijd mee om de aarde voor te<br />
bereiden op Kerstmis.<br />
2ex schrapen:<br />
-Gulle stof.<br />
- gevoel van Rust tussen borstbeen en bekken.<br />
Na de C2 en<br />
C3 trit.<br />
-Veel meer op buik gaan slapen met knie, aan dezelfde zijde als<br />
waarheen het hoofd gekeerd is, opgetrokken.<br />
Wil dit eigenlijk niet om knieen niet zo te belasten, maar is wel de<br />
prettigste houding als ik al iets van bewustzijn heb ’s morgens bij het<br />
wakker worden (soms al om 4 uur)<br />
dromen zijn helder, geen emotievolle situties, kan ze meer helder<br />
maar gedeeltelijk vasthouden.<br />
- dr: 23-01-05: dochter bleek ineens 3 kinderen te hebben terwijl ik<br />
alleen de 1 e goed ken<br />
-schoonvader van 91 jaar stapte op een balustrade om iets te pakken<br />
en viel, kwam rechtstandig op zijn voeten terecht 1 verdieping lager<br />
en liep gewoon weer weg.<br />
Dat hij op de balustrade stapte gaf me wat zorg en ik was verbaasd<br />
dat hij geen letsel had. Geen emoties, alleen constateren.<br />
Bij beide dromen was ik logisch aan het waarnemen.<br />
120<br />
M/thoughts/religious<br />
Eye/pain/stitching/side/right/outer corner<br />
M/time/passes too slow<br />
M/content/feeling of happiness<br />
M/sadness/death foetus<br />
Nose/odor/coffee, burning<br />
Nose/open/nostrils/left<br />
Nose/smell/air/open, cold<br />
M/content/open air<br />
M’thoughts/religious<br />
Sleep/position/abdomen/knee lifted<br />
Dreams/waking 4 a.m.<br />
Dreams/noticing just<br />
Dreams/ family/strange situations.
Prover 7<br />
C3 trituatie, 2 februari 2005<br />
Vanaf ’s ochtends op mijn linker oor een vreemd vegend geluid op het ritme van mijn hartslag. Ik heb al een constant ruisen in mijn oren<br />
maar wordt hier toch niet paniekerig van. Het is heel rustig.<br />
Thuis heb ik even getwijfeld over mijn kleding. Heb besloten zonder BH, met grote trui, stretchbroek en gemakkelijke schoenen te gaan. Dat<br />
voelt heerlijk. Het maakt mij niet echt uit wat anderen vinden. Bij binnenkomst wordt ik blij als ik het schilderij van laatste keer zie. Ik vind<br />
het nog steeds heel mooi.<br />
Aan het begin van de trituatie lichte hoofdpijn rechts.<br />
Vijzel en stamper voelen koud.<br />
Voor het eerst komen Duitse woorden, waarvan ik niet naar de vertaling zoek.<br />
Roerend in de vijzel wijkt de substantie van het midden: Mittelpunktfliehend.<br />
Ik ruik Kampfer (ik zou niet weten hoe dat ruikt en hoe het in het <strong>Nederland</strong>s heet).<br />
S1 Wil alles energiek naar het midden toe schrapen.<br />
Roer met gesloten ogen. Dat voelt goed.<br />
S2 Ben hel rustig. Prettig.<br />
Ben moe, gaap vaak.<br />
Kijk om mij heen, zie anderen zwaar kijken en denk: wij zijn niet blij.<br />
Ruik 4711 (weer in het Duits, Eau de cologne, werd vroeger vooral door oudere dames gebruikt).<br />
S3 Ik wil niet schrapen!<br />
Er gebeurt niets.<br />
Denk in het Duits: Bin nicht bei der Sache. (Ben er niet bij).<br />
Iets staat mij tegen. Ik wil niet met de stroom mee! Sta op en haal thee.<br />
Ik wil mij niet verzetten – maar meedoen is moeilijk.<br />
Heb pijn in mijn hart.<br />
Denk na over het woord verzetten – verzet – oorlog. (Ik lees op dit moment een boek waar over een aantal Concentratiekampen wordt<br />
geschreven).<br />
Kijk naar het schilderij en zou iets soortgelijks willen schilderen. In de linker hoek beneden. Het zou anders worden, rustiger, wel met<br />
dezelfde kleuren. Maar de energie om het daadwerkelijk te doen ontbreekt.<br />
Discipline.<br />
Nog een keer roeren! (Nee toch!)<br />
Der Gang nach Kanossa!<br />
Ik wil dit niet – is dit weer verzet?<br />
Ik ben hier waarschijnlijk niet goed in – SORRY!<br />
Er zit iets creatiefs in. Ik wil bij het schrapen van de substantie een windroos maken.<br />
Wil de C4 tritureren!<br />
Wacht met vertellen. Ik heb niet direct de behoefte het kwijt te moeten.<br />
Geluid in mijn linker oor is er nog steeds.<br />
IJskoude voeten en onderbenen.<br />
3 februari 2005<br />
Heb goed geslapen. Opgeblazen buik. Buikkrampen. Voel mij heel rustig.<br />
Zoek in het woordenboek naar de precieze betekenis van : Gang nach Kanossa.<br />
In het Duits: jemandem schwer fallende, aber von der Situation geforderte tiefe Selbsterniedrigung.<br />
De eerste uitleg in de Van Dale bevalt mij niet, pas in de aanhang vind ik een uitleg die aansluit bij mijn gevoel.<br />
Naar Canossa gaan: zich op deemoedige wijze onderwerpen, en boete doen.<br />
‘s middags erg moe. Val tijdens lezen in slaap. Het is goed zo.<br />
Krijg een enorm (vanaf het middenrif) opgezette buik, heel hard. Het voelt vreselijk. Winderig. Laat een boer (dat doe ik echt nooit).<br />
Ik denk erover morgen niet naar de opstelling te gaan. Ik wil liever de kamer schilderen.<br />
4 februari 2005<br />
Ben niet naar de opstelling. Voel mij een beetje schuldig maar begin blij aan het schilderen van de woonkamer. Dit was een goede beslissing.<br />
Heb in de hele periode een koude rechter arm. Mijn rechter schouder doet zeer. De ene dag is het erger dan de andere.<br />
Mijn stemming is wisselvallig. Soms heel eenzaam en onbegrepen, dan heb ik weer het gevoel het allemaal te weten. Voel mij net als in mijn<br />
puberteit. Heb de indruk mijn puberzonen beter te begrijpen. Sta er dichter bij. Wat is het toch een moeilijke fase. Aan de ene kant alles<br />
weten aan de andere kant zo onzeker. Klein en groot willen zijn, maar wat ben ik nu?<br />
Prover 8<br />
Bij aanvang van de trituratie voelde ik erg me moe, verdrietig en boos.<br />
Voor mij voelde alles tegengesteld bij het tritureren.<br />
Verdraagzaamheid/onverdraagzaamheid<br />
Dan toch maar het weer laten gebeuren<br />
Kippenvel; echt koude rillingen<br />
Geremdheid/ongeremdheid<br />
Voel me draaierig en slaperig<br />
linksom draaien/rechtsom draaien<br />
dan alles weer terugdraaien; dan is het goed<br />
ophouden/weer beginnen<br />
121
streken uithalen/betrouwbaarheid<br />
wil niet schrapen, maar hakken<br />
Kijk om me heen; Gert is lief en komisch zo hard als hij zit te schrapen.<br />
krijg het beeld van een stier te zien bij een boom<br />
voel de trilling van diepblauw en geel<br />
verre planeet/steen/<br />
grote leegte/alles willen zien en weten<br />
Prover 10<br />
C3 2-2-05<br />
1. a.Iets hards, taais, zwaars als stroop, trekt aan mij van binnen<br />
b. eindeloos geduld<br />
2. a. moe, zwaar werk, moe, bijna in slaap gevallen<br />
b. gapen<br />
3. iets wil naar buiten (uit mij) maar kan niet, zelfde gedachten als van middag voor de trituratie, het trekt mij steeds naar binnen, bijna<br />
ademloos, zwaar gevoel, bijna verdrietig maar kalme, niet bang, gevoel alsof ik naar een grote, donker innerlijk gebied, ruimte wordt gedrukt<br />
Prover 15<br />
Dag Allemaal,<br />
Na deze trituratie een immens verdriet en eenzaamheid, en onbegrip dat wij (ik) als mens in staat is om tot planmatige wreedheid in staat te<br />
zijn.<br />
Door het weglaten van gevoelservaringen is dit mogelijk=rationele verklaring<br />
Maar wat mbv de trituratie terugkomt is het kinderlijke element,<br />
en dat is het niet begrijpen ervan. het niet begrijpen met het gevoel, de onmogelijkheid op gevoels nivo jezelf te begrijpen en te ervaren, en<br />
de behoefte te oefenen en fantaseren tot je dat misschien wel kan begrijpen, .<br />
De kinderlijke opluchting dat het lichaam een stof produceert die je beschermd voor het lijden wat de mens aan zichzelf kan ervaren en<br />
zichzelf aan kan doen. Het ondraaglijke te verhelpen met een drug, die je lichaam zelf produceert. Maar toch te voelen dat de oplossing niet<br />
is, maar de illusie. De weerstand om in de illusie te gaan..die is heel sterk.<br />
niet naar het grotere geheel te vertrekken, de illusie op te geven, dat is de pijn.<br />
Als we niet in de emotie / pijn teveel hoeven te gaan, wordt de weg opengebroken naar een groter geheel. maar is dat een escape,<br />
onderdrukking, en laten we de pijn, en de aangedane pijn dan maar niet gemakshalve achter!????<br />
Dat is de pijn die ik nu beleef.<br />
Prover 16 (zit erbij, tritureert niet)<br />
Hele angstige voorgevoelens als ik opsta, dit blijft de hele dag hangen.<br />
Last van m'n buik hierdoor<br />
Ik zie een begrafenisauto<br />
Afscheid, dood, transformatie<br />
Heb enorme hartkloppingen<br />
Alize geeft haar mortier en dit voelt als delen een fijn gevoel, ik schraap.<br />
Gevoel te willen uitbreken.<br />
Arm links boven doet pijn<br />
Stroomt in linkerbeen en tintelt<br />
Bovenbenen voelen aan de binnenkant schraal<br />
Boven op hoofd aan binnenkant tintelingen<br />
Ik voel me intens moe<br />
Ik zie een enorme ijsberg en die gaat smelten, alsof het zachter wordt.<br />
Een onherbergzaam gebied zo een eenzaam gebeuren.<br />
Schouders en bovenarmen zo zwaar en pijnlijk.<br />
Nek pijnlijk<br />
Achter rechter oog pijn<br />
Ik zie een skelet, het doet van achter naar voren pijn aan de binnenkant.<br />
Ik voel medelijden en liefde.<br />
Ik hoor donderdag d.d. 03-02-2005 dat heel slecht gaat met een lieve vriend, hij heeft die dag een operatie en zal het waarschijnlijk niet<br />
redden.<br />
Het lijden voor hem is afschuwelijk.<br />
Dit grijpt me zo aan.<br />
De week ervoor heb ik een afscheidsgesprek met hem gehad.<br />
Het voelt als veel.<br />
Ik ga in meditatie en kom als nog met hem in een geestelijk contact,<br />
daarna wordt het rustiger in mijn gevoel.<br />
Ik heb het besef dat dit weer een afscheid betekent.<br />
Prover 19<br />
Ben er mee begonnen en alweer gestopt voor de bel rinkelde. Toen ik<br />
> thuis de C1 moest maken wilde het ook al niet lukken. Ik ben ook erg beïnvloed door<br />
> alles wat ik in de groep heb gehoord, kan niet onbevangen draaien. Het<br />
> lucht me op dat ik stop want ik moest nog C3 en C4 en het lag als een last op<br />
> mijn schouders. Ik ga vrijdag gewoon C5 doen, sla de rest over.<br />
> Mijn reis naar Nieuw-Zeeland heeft hier zeker mee te maken. Er is veel<br />
> veranderd maar ik kan niet beschrijven wat het is. Het is iets dat<br />
122
zich "innerlijk in mij heeft voltrokken", zo probeer ik het uit te<br />
> leggen en zie dan verbaasde blikken. Maar jullie snappen dat denk ik<br />
> wel. Het beïnvloed op dit moment al mijn persoonlijke relaties en daar schrik ik soms van.<br />
><br />
> Toen ik thuis kwam heb ik een dag later mijn studiekamer afgebroken en<br />
> naar de zolder verhuisd, alle studiespullen opgeruimd die nog steeds op de<br />
> tafel of in de kast lagen. De dossiers van de kliniek weg gedaan, alle anamneses<br />
> versnipperd. Een helder moment. En zo voelt het nu ook (wat betreft die C3<br />
> en C4), een helder moment, een goed besluit.<br />
><br />
> De reis heeft me dus ook losgeweekt van mijn homeopathie-trauma.<br />
> Zonder dat ik er iets voor heb gedaan. Of juist omdat ik er niets mee heb gedaan? De<br />
> natuur werkt vaak ook helend. Daar heb ik een overdosis van gehad. Het<br />
> lijkt wel een afscheidsbrief he? Dat is het niet hoor. Ik zal altijd een groot<br />
> aanhanger van de homeopathie blijven. Ik weet niet eens waarom ik jullie<br />
> dit laat weten, het welde gewoon in me op.<br />
INDIVIDUELE SYMPTOMEN C4 TRITURATIE<br />
Prover 1<br />
C4 trituratie d.d. 16 maart 2005<br />
Voel al snel pijn, druk op mijn borst, rechterkant<br />
Koud<br />
Pijn voorhoofd<br />
Wil heel erg in mezelf zitten, laat me met rust!<br />
Loslaten, wil hier niet op aarde zijn, wil naar andere dimensies<br />
Ik wil doorwrijven, nu al schrapen<br />
Ik wil me niet bewijzen, ben goed zoals ik ben, al die verschrikkelijke Ego’s waarvoor ik mij moet bewijzen<br />
Wil weg, weg van deze aardbol, heb het wel gezien hier!<br />
Voelt als bevrijding.<br />
Misselijk, zuchten, geeuwen.<br />
Gert is hard aan het schrapen en dat irriteert enorm: hou op: je verstoort mijn gevoel!<br />
Schrapen duurt me te lang, wrijven duurt te kort<br />
Verlang naar muziek om lekker bij weg te zweven<br />
Zit in een draaikolk, heel veel kleuren, word daarin meegezogen<br />
Daarna is er LEEGTE<br />
Jullie mogen het allemaal hebben, het hele Ego-bestaan, ik vind het prima, ik ga weg!!<br />
Voel me verdrietig, maar ook trots<br />
Pijn in rechteroor<br />
Ruik een licht frisse geur, doet me denken aan de lente.<br />
Dan weer: Ik wil weg!! Voel het in het diepst van mijn ziel: ik wil hier niet zijn!<br />
Daarna gevoel alsof ik echt “weg” ben: ik word steeds lichter, dunner, alsof ik oplos<br />
Dan kom ik terug: waar ben ik? En meteen voel ik: Dit is mijn lot….<br />
Voelt heel zwaar….<br />
Daarna ben ik uit mijn concentratie en heb ik heel veel trek in zoet.<br />
Tijdens de bespreking heb ik wel het gevoel dat ik er “ben”, maar moet daar erg mijn best voor doen, steeds de neiging om weg te willen<br />
“glippen”.<br />
Eenmaal thuis duik ik de koelkast in en werk een Magnum naar binnen, heb behoefte aan zoet en kou om zo te proberen weer meer “hier” te<br />
komen. Daarna word ik overmand door een immens verdriet en moet heel hard huilen. Ik slaap goed, maar word wakker met hoofdpijn. De<br />
volgende dag krijg ik ’s avonds last van kriebelhoest wat zich ’s nachts doorzet met pijn in spieren en koorts, kortom: ik heb de griep. Blijf<br />
thuis (18/3), moet veel hoesten, overal pijntjes in hele lijf en voel me heel erg sloom, alles wat ik doe, doe ik in slow motion.<br />
Prover 3<br />
1 e deel lactose<br />
Egypte – oase in de woestijn<br />
Oranje kleur<br />
Hoofd van Nefertiti<br />
Neutraal Gevoel<br />
Overgang naar de andere wereld<br />
Lopen in een Gouden gang ergens naar toe maar geen eind<br />
Rustig/Neutrale sensatie<br />
LEREN – heb ik wel genoeg geleerd?<br />
Schrappen: nog nooit zo weinig gevoeld tijdens een trituratie<br />
Het doet me niets!<br />
Wat is dan het tegenovergestelde?<br />
Dat alles door jou heen gaat, alles komt binnen<br />
GEVEN EN NEMEN<br />
Egoïsme kan schadelijk zijn maar ook gezond<br />
Ego is noodzakelijk maar niet onmisbaar<br />
Je hoeft niets te missen, er komt wat nodig is<br />
FARAO-Slaaf-Nefertiti beeld in mijn hoofd<br />
Wie is eigenlijk bevoorrecht?<br />
Degene die zijn ego kan missen.<br />
123
In wezen hetzelfde maar je moet je gouden gang alleen doorlopen<br />
“ Alice in Wonderland”<br />
Ik zie de ogen van Monique als een kat<br />
2 e deel lactose<br />
Overzicht – ego vast<br />
Om de gouden gang te mogen doorlopen moet je groeien en groei komt door overzicht<br />
Bij gevoel – dat dit even duidelijk is voor mij<br />
Blij! Ik ben blij!<br />
Wat er uit moest komen is er uit gekomen<br />
Middel is voor mensen die door EGO geen overzicht krijgen<br />
Kunnen niet vanuit een andere perspectief uit hun ego zien<br />
Tegenpool te weinig Ego daardoor onbegrepen = verdriet<br />
Oplossing van alle perspectieven leren zien. Ego wanneer nodig?<br />
Grenzen<br />
Grenzen bestaan niet maar dat kan je pas begrijpen als je ook zonder ego kan.<br />
Als ik hierover denk, raak ik verward. SE het gaat even boven mijn pet.<br />
Stem in mijn hoofd – schrijf gewoon op – je bent een boodschapper en nu is je denken- je ego niet nodig. Als je thuis bent, ga eens goed<br />
nadenken wat ego is, inhoud, nu niet.<br />
Ik ben vrienden met de stof.<br />
3 e deel lactose<br />
SE praat met een meester. Ik ga wat leren. Stilzitten en luisteren.<br />
SE dat ik de stof begrijp<br />
Dat ik de essentie begrijp<br />
Mijn leven is nu voorgoed veranderd<br />
OBS: mensen heel geconcentreerd. Ik zie een dilemma in de gezichten. Slaap of pijn?<br />
SE dat ik te snel gaat (3 keer)<br />
OBS: zeer aangename sfeer, ontspannen, mensen praten met ironie<br />
Dankbaarheid naar <strong>Hahnemann</strong> voel ik.<br />
124
Prover 5<br />
C4 trituratie Wo 16-03-05 Rubriek<br />
1ex 7 min. Eeuwige gelijkmatigheid, eeuwigheid.<br />
Boven het gewriemel van mensen verkeren.<br />
Alsof ik vanuit de eeuwige bergwereld met sneeuw op de wereld neerkijk/overzien<br />
Glad en zacht, zalfachtig.<br />
Wil mortier tegen me aan houden, en het omarmen<br />
Schrapen 3<br />
min<br />
Gulheid van de substantie<br />
Rust, ervaar omgeving als doelloze ONRUST<br />
2 e x 7 min Frisse zeepgeur<br />
Omarm mortier<br />
Hitteflush<br />
Vanuit eeuwige bergwereld beschouwend naar de wereld kijken, geïnteresseerd maar er<br />
geen deel van uitmaken.<br />
Geluiden gedempt alsof er een dikke sneeuw deken overheen ligt<br />
Schrapen 3<br />
min<br />
Melksuiker<br />
toevoegen<br />
3ex 7 min<br />
Schrapen 3<br />
min<br />
Wat doet Gert Arsenerig, heeft hij koorts of zo?<br />
Denk aan onlangs overleden mensen en hun levenssferen<br />
Het is alsof er een dik pak goede sneeuw ligt<br />
Geeft me vertrouwen<br />
Frisse zeepgeur<br />
Veel onrust in het schrapen bij anderen<br />
Substantie is gul om niet, maakt me dankbaar en blij<br />
Pepermuntgeur die wat van kamfer heeft<br />
4ex 7 min Wat is dit ‘ont-spinnings-proces?<br />
Alice in de Echter Wereld te gast<br />
Wie ben ik dat ik deel mag hebben aan het ontrafelen, ontrollen van de wijsheid in deze<br />
substantie.<br />
Als of we het AARDSE EEUWIGE door ons tritureren naar de mensenmaat halen, vol<br />
bewondering en verwondering en deemoed.<br />
Kruidige zeepgeur.<br />
Tijd gaat vlugger dan ik denk.<br />
3 e portie<br />
lac.sac 5ex 7<br />
min<br />
Schrapen 3<br />
min<br />
Alleen maar die hogere eeuwige bergwereld<br />
Ineens weer helemaal in het hier en nu.<br />
Niets, veel gelach, concentratie weg, gehakketak van stemmen<br />
6ex Onrust, geen concentratie meer<br />
Geur zoals in Aziatische meubelwinkels<br />
Tijd gaat snel.<br />
Substantie gul, als losse sneeuw komt het zonder moeite van de wand los.<br />
Einde C4 trituratie<br />
1 e nacht -droom: zag kerktoren van het dorp waar mijn ouders wonen ineens in elkaar zakken.<br />
Ouders wonen dicht bij die kerk, alles was verwoest.<br />
Zag het huis van mijn ouders vanuit de plaats aan de andere kant van de straat tegenover<br />
de buren. Was verder niets aan de hand, alleen alles kapot. Dit had geen verdere<br />
consequenties.<br />
- ik was met een trituratie groep in een voor mij gewijde ruimte, ik had een zwart boek in<br />
mijn hand. Iedereen sprak over zijn ‘spirituele ervaringen’, alsmaar, en ieder had wel wat,<br />
de een al mooier dan de ander.<br />
Ik voelde dat de ruimte wat ontwijd werd of zo, waarop een iemand uit de groep<br />
laatdunkend zei: jij verkoopt toch ook alleen maar loten!<br />
Het boek bleek het homeopathische woordenboek te zijn.<br />
- was me bij het wakker worden in eens bewust dat iemand mij incorrect benaderd had,<br />
waarvoor ik een verklaring gegeven had vanuit mijzelf, terwijl me nu duidelijk was, dat<br />
die ander zich had moeten verontschuldigen voor zijn gedrag.<br />
125<br />
M/del/eternity<br />
M/del/mountain, het is on the<br />
top of the<br />
M/del/looking/downwards<br />
from the top of the mountains.<br />
M/emotions, lack of<br />
Nose/odor/soap, fraish<br />
Head/heat/flush<br />
M/disconnected to the world<br />
M/covered, sensation the<br />
world is<br />
M/thoughts/dead people<br />
M/ confident, sensation of<br />
Nose/odor/soap<br />
M/delusion/restlessness in<br />
others.<br />
M/thankful; M/graceful<br />
M/ Philosophical<br />
M/theorising<br />
M/ graceful to the universe<br />
M/ time/too fast (quick)<br />
M/ admiration<br />
M/ religious feelings<br />
M/del/ mountain, being on top<br />
of the<br />
Dreams/accidents/tower is<br />
crashing<br />
Dreams/humiliated, being
Prover 7<br />
C4 trituatie, 16 maart 2005<br />
Blij gevoel.<br />
Alize en Jacqueline kletsen veel, ik zeg er wat van en schrik daarvan: hoe haal ik het in mijn hoofd. Voel schaamte – sorry!<br />
Substantie voelt lekker rond in de vijzel, soepel.<br />
Moet aan Irene denken, ik zou iets voor haar willen doen, het lichter willen maken.<br />
Lisanne studeert af op het onderwerp Duitsland en moet de film: “Der Untergang” zien. Wat moet zij inhalen. Iets wat in de familie nog een<br />
plek moet krijgen?<br />
Vanuit onzekerheid belangrijk willen zijn. Dat hoeft nu niet meer. Ben nog onzeker wanneer ik dan wel iets moet zeggen.<br />
Ben blij en dankbaar, dat ik tritueer, dat er geen PC’s op tafel staan, dat wij hier zitten en dit doen. Het voelt verbonden, ook al kan ik niet<br />
iedereen helpen, omdat ik ook weet dat ieder zijn stuk heeft waar hij zelf doorheen moet.<br />
Geert schraapt heel fanatiek, ik maak mij zorgen om hem: “komt het wel goed?”<br />
Voel mij heel heel, wil eigenlijk in deze toestand blijven, hoef niet meer verder.<br />
Es kann doch nur noch besser werden. Oud liedje komt in mij op: Das kann doch einen Seemann nicht erschüttern, keine Angst, keine Angst<br />
Rosmarie!<br />
Voel mij blij. Hauptsache das Ganze zerplatzt nicht wie eine große Seifenblase!<br />
Moet aan het verhaal van Marije denken. Wat erg al die experimenten in de oorlog, dat mensen moeten ervaren dat zij tot iets in staat zijn<br />
waarvan zij dachten dat zij het nooit zouden doen. Die Erkenntnis muß schrecklich sein. Er was geen overzichtsniveau. Ze zaten er te diep in.<br />
“Der Untergang” zien – men kan dingen weten zonder ze meegemaakt te hebben. Als het al in je ziel zit.<br />
Waarom komen wij soms niet aan ons weten? Zit ons Ego ons in de weg? Alles is er toch. Wat zijn wij mensen toch prachtig in ons streven<br />
naar waarheid , het zijn te bereiken!<br />
Zouden wij nog veel moeten wrijven? Geeft niet, wij komen er wel uit met z’n allen.<br />
Volgens mij ziet iedereen alles aan mij, maar dat geeft niet, het is goed zo. Voel mij erboven staan. Dat maakt dat ik mij schaam. Ik hoef dus<br />
niet meer te schrapen.<br />
Ik ben moe, ik wil slapen.<br />
Fanatieke Geert!<br />
Heb het gevoel, dat ik een spel speel. Kan mijzelf geen houding geven. Zou het liefst willen slapen maar weet niet hoe en waar. Kijk naar mij<br />
en schaam mij daarvoor. Durf niet echt ergens te….<br />
Ben een stuk kwijt…….<br />
Weet niet wat er allemaal in mij zit. Ben bang. Existentiële angst.<br />
Nu weet ik het weer: het ging te snel!<br />
Als wij nog doorgaan blijven wij in die toestand.<br />
Is dat de angst voor wat erna komt?<br />
Jacqueline waar zijn de zakjes?<br />
Eintüten – und jetzt weiter!<br />
Heb enorm behoefte aan zoet, gelukkig is er chocola bij Alize. Wanneer gaan wij de C5 doen?<br />
De volgende ochtend kom ik nauwelijks mijn bed uit. Intens moe! Sleep mij de dag door, doe dingen en ben toch niet echt aangesloten.<br />
Functioneer op de automatische piloot. Erg moe. Krijg heftige menstruatie, het lijkt alsof mijn borsten groter zijn. Ben zo moe. Eet een hele<br />
blok chocola. Behoefte aan zoet. Veel geluid in mijn hoofd. De gedachten gieren door mijn hoofd.<br />
In het weekeind voel ik mij erg onzeker over alles. Wandelen en praten helpt. Eet veel zoet. Kan moeilijk bij een onderwerp blijven.<br />
Prover 20<br />
16 maart 2005<br />
C4<br />
Honger en droge mond<br />
soort gelatenheid / geduld<br />
stekende pijn in mijn rug<br />
allemaal zo grof om me heen<br />
afgeleid<br />
aan patiënt in Kenia gedacht, zat in "rolstoel" gaf hem Plumbum<br />
gelatenheid<br />
erge slaap<br />
zou ik ziek zijn?<br />
iets met oordeel<br />
dementie/versterven, dood van mijn eigen vader<br />
kou, moe, honger<br />
geld<br />
loopneus<br />
voel me ineens de oudste in deze groep<br />
Gevoel alsof ik in m'n buik zit te roeren<br />
126
INDIVIDUELE SYMPTOMEN C5 TRITURATIE<br />
Prover 8<br />
1 april 2005 / C 5<br />
Begin de trituratie met een lamme rechterarm.<br />
Ga links draaien.<br />
Mag ik zijn wie ik ben?<br />
Tijd en plicht altijd aanwezig<br />
Verlang naar tijdloosheid en vrijheid<br />
Ruik sterke chloorlucht<br />
Rechterneusgat verstopt.<br />
Ik zit vrijwel in het donker en voel me geïsoleerd.<br />
1 streep licht.<br />
Het voel heel onrustig om mij heen.<br />
Lijkt wel of iedereen in de lesruimte "op springen" staat<br />
Alsof de bom gaat barsten<br />
Poolster/schraapwand lijkt op ijspegels<br />
ijsberen.<br />
"geloof in jezelf overstijgen = vertrouwen hebben.<br />
Ik droom kort na de trituratie over de oorlog. Mijn kinderen en ik<br />
zitten in een soort zolderhuis. Er wordt op de deur gebonkt. Wij doen niet open.<br />
Dan wordt het weer stil. Een van mijn zoons klimt op het dak om te kijken wat er aan de hand is. Hij wordt direct met een pistool bedreigd<br />
door een soldaat die kennelijk al op het dak aanwezig was. Er wordt ons verteld dat wij over 2 dagen opgehaald worden. Ik neem<br />
afscheid van onze zolder. Ik kijk door een van de ronde zolderramen; zie een hele lange brede goot die helemaal begroeid is met groene<br />
planten zo ver ik maar kan kijken. Ik word met een loodzwaar gevoel wakker.<br />
Prover 15<br />
heb ik je verteld dat bij de laatste bijeenkomst ik weer over Hitler en de wreedheden begon.<br />
het gevoel was: ik wilde het niet ik had weerstand: nee niet weer, dat hebben wij nu gehad.<br />
ik heb er over gehad. ik heb het toch verwerkt? nee toch niet.<br />
de vraag kwam op. waarom heeft dit moeten gebeuren, waarom hebben we dit zo gedaan, waar is het goed voor. wat is de bedoeling ervan.<br />
en dan wel vooral de geplande wrede organisatie van dit al, het wrede en koude.<br />
WAAROM WAAROM WAAROM. WAT IS DE MENING ERVAN.<br />
Prover 20<br />
april 2005<br />
C5<br />
Zou de paus al dood zijn?<br />
Niet leuk dat er mensen uit de groep naar buiten gaan<br />
raak ongeïnteresseerd in het middel<br />
pijn in m'n kiezen door schrapen Gert<br />
beetje misselijk<br />
iets met seksualiteit, spanning<br />
man in Kenia die me wilde schaken<br />
buikpijn, rugpijn en misselijk<br />
hoor om me heen de verwarring over de tijd, heb er niets mee<br />
ziekte, prostaatkanker?<br />
seks, gewone seks, lust<br />
stel dat ze me moeten komen halen omdat er thuis iets erg gebeurd is..<br />
hoe moet ik naar huis rijden..<br />
ervaring na 1 april.<br />
Ik weet niet of het effect was van de trituratie of de casus van de Nat-m vrouw.<br />
Was zeer onder de indruk van de vrouw. Ik wist meteen dat ze hoorde bij de Ananda Marga groep. Ik vond haar schitterend.<br />
Maar vooral haar hele uitstraling pakte me.<br />
Veel herkenbare dingen.<br />
De dagen erna heb ik veel hoofdpijn en buikpijn gehad. Vooral de hoofdpijn was heel erg. Verdween na 4 dagen maar blijft op de achtergrond<br />
sluimeren.<br />
Alles leek zwaar. Ik was erg gedeprimeerd. Erg labiel. Eigenlijk nog. Ook het beeld van de vrouw blijft bij me..<br />
127
INDIVIDUELE ERVARINGEN NA INNAME <strong>LAPIS</strong> <strong>LAZULI</strong> C40/4<br />
Prover 1<br />
Ondanks dat ik vorige week het middel niet heb ingenomen, heb ook ik last van mijn onderrug.<br />
Afgelopen vrijdagochtend "schoot" het er ineens in, het was pijnlijk, maar nog wel uit te houden. Totdat het afgelopen zondag het er<br />
nogmaals in "schoot", en ditmaal 3x zo hard in mijn beleving, met als gevolg hevige pijn die uitstraalt naar mijn buik, opgezet en een gevoel<br />
alsof de boel "op slot" zit.<br />
Zitten is bijna onmogelijk, lopen en staan gaan wel maar met moeite, alleen als ik lig heb ik nergens last van. Heb inmiddels via mijn eigen<br />
homeopaat een middel ingenomen, maar helaas tot nu toe nog niet zoveel resultaat.<br />
Klachten met mijn onderrug heb ik vroeger ook wel gehad, echter niet zo heftig als deze keer en het is ook alweer een tijdje geleden.<br />
Toeval??<br />
Ook het gevoel van dat "ik niet meer ben, jezelf kwijt zijn" is herkenbaar, dit heb ik alleen niet deze keer, maar dit had ik al na de C4<br />
trituratie.<br />
Ben benieuwd naar jullie ervaringen/reactie.<br />
Prover 3<br />
11 mei 2005<br />
Vanochtend allemaal plannen. Ik heb veel af te handelen. Beslis eerst een homeopathisch middel langs een patiënt brengen. Normaal<br />
gesproken neemt dit 45 minuten in beslag.<br />
Ik begin dat ik in de verkeerde tram stap, waardoor ik terecht kom in een buurt in Den Haag die ik meestal vermijd, als het kan, omdat die<br />
buurt veel herinneringen naar boven brengt waar ik meestal geen zin in heb. Ik beslis langs de (verkeerde) boekenwinkel te gaan. Ik zeg<br />
verkeerde omdat ik graag naar Verwijs in de stad wilde omdat ik daar een boekje over Differentiaal Diagnose moet gaan ophalen.<br />
Ik loop op straat met een enorme boosheid: Waarom zit ik hier? Waarom moet ik dingen zo doen? Waarom moet het zo?<br />
Eenmaal in de boekenwinkel, zoek ik een cadeau. Wat ik oorspronkelijk wilde is er niet meer dus ik kan dat niet kopen. Uiteindelijk kom ik<br />
de boekenwinkel uit met een boek over xxxxxx (als kado) en een boek van Kubler Ross “Lessen voor levenden”. Ik koop dit boek met een<br />
soort spanning in mijn buik. Ik vermijd al een hele tijd boeken over dit onderwerp omdat ik vind dat ik er niet aan toe ben.<br />
Bij deze twee boeken krijg ik een boekje cadeau over Duitsland and then it hits me...!<br />
De lapis natuurlijk!<br />
Mijn relatie met dit middel is een van love-hate. Het doet me goed en het trekt me aan maar het maakt me ook bang voor de duistere kant<br />
ervan. Ik voel me moedig of juist het tegenovergestelde. Ik besef dat ik dingen vermijd, uitstel, de dingen die ik niet leuk vind en dan blijven<br />
ze terug komen. Op een gegeven moment denk ik: het is nu klaar! Ik ga de confrontatie aan! Tegelijkertijd voel ik de adrenaline in mijn lijf.<br />
Ik voel me net een warrior even voor the battle.<br />
Het valt me op dat ik vaak, als ik dingen schrijf over de Lapis veel woorden in het engels komen. Ik vergeet de <strong>Nederland</strong>se woorden.<br />
Lieve allemaal,<br />
Ik heb veel opgeschreven ivm proving, dit komt later wel. Iets opmerkwaardigs voor mij is het afgelopen nacht gebeurd toen ik aan het<br />
dromen was. Droom wist ik niet meer toen ik wakker werd. Het enige wat ik weet is dat ik in de droom Let it be (The Beatles) aan het zingen<br />
was en zo ben ik ook wakker geworden, met dat nummer in mijn hoofd. Ik heb pas rustig kunnen worden nadat ik het nummer een aantal<br />
keer heb beluisterd. Hierbij dus ook de tekst van Let it be, merkwaardige ervaring, vind ik dit. Het gaat om darkness/unity/answers/Mother<br />
Mary.<br />
Ik hoor graag wat jullie ervan vinden.<br />
De keelklachten, met heesheid herkende ik heel goed van vroeger, dus voor mij was dat wel duidelijk. Dit keer heb ik echter ook oogklachten<br />
gehad, een soort ontsteking < links. Dit ken ik niet zo maar goed het kan toeval zijn. Ik dacht aan de Lapis omdat ik sinds de proving<br />
probleempjes heb gehad met mijn ogen. Ik kan de zonlicht niet meer uitstaan zonder zonnebril. Voorheen kon dat prima.<br />
Nu gaat het wel beter. Ik heb mijn stem terug, ontsteking in larynx is weg, ook bloed en mucus.<br />
128
Prover 5<br />
11 mei Sinds ik de datum voor het examen gehoord heb, heb ik lumbago.<br />
De buikomtrek in onderhevig aan constrictie, nu niet rond mijn borst maar in het bekken.<br />
Het middel dat ik van Alize kreeg ingenomen en hief de constrictie niet op.<br />
De avond van de dag daarop volgend, bijna 2 dagen na inname van het middel vond de inname van C4/C30 Lapis<br />
Lazuli plaats.<br />
De lumbago met constrictie op buikwand in het bekkengebied, waardoor ik me in de loop van de dag afvraag of er<br />
soms sprake was van een latente optrekkende cystitis, nam na c.a. 1 uur na inname van C4/C30 af om ook weg te<br />
blijven.<br />
De plek in de rug is nog wel week/zwak<br />
Abdomen/constriction/hypogastrium; Abdomen/lower abdomen; Abdomen/band around<br />
Abdomen/pain/constricting/band or belt; Abdomen/pain/constricting/umbellicus, below.<br />
Back/constriction/lumbar region; Back/pain/constricting/lumbar.<br />
Back/pain/motion/amel.; Back/pain/move/beginning; Dreams/anxious/quarrels between friends,<br />
- Droom:<br />
Terwijl ik op een oud kerkplein loop wordt er iemand achtervolgd. De achtervolger grijpt al hollend in zijn zak om<br />
er een klein pistool uit te halen en schiet de wegloper dood.<br />
Ik ben bang en ga achter een klein gebouwtje met een zuilengang er in staan en denk dat ik zo niet gezien wordt,<br />
want de schutter kon het eens in zijn hoofd halen nog meer mensen te beschieten.<br />
Ik denk dat ik veilig ben en niet gezien wordt. Dan komt er een bekende langs, die tegen me zegt: ga je mee?<br />
Ik vraag hem hoe hij weet dat ik daar sta en dan blijkt: ‘dat hij van een afstand me gewoon kon zien staan’. Ik had<br />
dus een verkeerde inschatting gemaakt, foutje.<br />
Dreams/shooting, Dreams/guns, Dreams/shot/wounded<br />
Dreams/invisible; Dreams/danger; Dreams/danger/murder; Dreams/impending danger;<br />
Dreams/mistake; Dreams/fights<br />
15 mei - droom:<br />
Iemand anders wil niet geloven wat ik zeg, sart me, ontkent wat ik gedaan heb en stelt het continu in een totaal<br />
verkeerd daglicht, waardoor ik me volledig onmachtig voel.<br />
Wanneer ze doorgaat met ontkennen en naar me wijst, bijt ik haar uit onmacht vreselijk hard in haar vinger, zelfs<br />
zo dat ik in mijn slaap bloed proef. Ook voel ik in mijn slaap in me zelf de neiging om haar te knijpen, wat niet<br />
gebeurt.<br />
Prover 8<br />
Dreams/biting; Dreams/mortification; Dreams/humiliation;Dreams/helpless feeling.<br />
Wil graag even mijn reactie op de inname van lapis lazuli op 11 mei jl. met jullie delen.<br />
De nacht na de avond van de inname voelde het alsof mijn onderrug "uit elkaar ging".<br />
Een branderig pijnlijk gevoel. Nu, bijna een week later zit er nog steeds een soort brok/<br />
steen in mijn onderrug. Ik meen me te herinneren dat ik een jaar of 3 geleden een<br />
vergelijkbaar gevoel heb gehad in mijn onderrug.<br />
Verder heb ik veel hartkloppingen gehad. Die zijn nu veel minder. en koude uiteinden<br />
(voeten en handen) Voorts veel "instralingen" bij mijn kruin.<br />
Ik heb steeds een heel onwezenlijk gevoel alsof "ik" "ik" niet meer ben. To be or not<br />
to be, zoiets.<br />
Ik droomde een paar nachten na de inname dat ik met 3 andere vrouwen aan het<br />
bevallen was. De contouren van het kindje waren helemaal voelbaar door de huid van<br />
mijn buik. Dan ga ik rechtop zitten en zie het hoofdje tussen mijn benen. Het kindje<br />
kijkt mij aan. Ik "weet" dat het een jongetje is. Daar eindigt de droom.<br />
Ook herinner ik me een droom in de afgelopen week, waarbij ik eerst een schoen en<br />
een rode laars draag. Ik ruil de schoen om voor de andere rode laars (met veters).<br />
Ze zitten heerlijk en ik heb er een blij gevoel over.<br />
Dat was het even voor nu.<br />
hallo allemaal,<br />
129
Het verhaal van Prover 3 raakte me recht in mijn hart. In de tekst van het liedje gaat het o.a. over "Moeder Maria".<br />
In kleur zie ik haar mooie positieve donkerblauwe energie.<br />
Vorige week maakte ik voor iemand een "bijenwas" tekening. (encoustic art), waarbij ik "boodschappen doorkrijg".<br />
aan de hand van de beelden die verschijnen op de tekening. Intuïtief maak ik deze tekeningen. Het frappante nu is dat<br />
op deze tekening een donkerblauwe boog verscheen met daarnaast de contouren van de "Mariafiguur".<br />
Voor mij voelt het nu zo dat wij middels de trituratie van Lapis Lazuli in contact mogen komen met deze "hoge" en helende<br />
entiteit. Zie ook de tekst van het liedje van de Beatles.<br />
Prover 15<br />
Weinig gemerkt na inname veel minder als na trituratie,<br />
opnieuw erg koud geweest en boven en onderrug koud en stijf, bang dat ik last zou gaan krijgen, maar is niet echt gebeurt.<br />
Het woord omarming kwam in een meeting met collega homeopaten steeds terug.<br />
De onderrug pijnen hebben met onderdrukte boosheid en geen ruimte scheppen voor wat je werkelijk wilt "uiten" te maken.<br />
En de diepere gevoelens die er zijn, die toch maar liever te willen onderdrukken, Of er geen ruimte voor maken of kunnen maken.<br />
Ik zou zeggen spreek je uit..<br />
Dat is wat er aan de hand is.<br />
Ik ben benieuwd, of dat gaat werken<br />
Prover 16<br />
Pijn in onder rug en buik, met steken in de blaas,<br />
vlijmscherp.<br />
Heel koud gevoel in onderste deel van de rug.<br />
Een aantal dagen ijs en ijskoud en dan een hele hete huid,<br />
met koorts, de koorts kwam meestal tegen einde van de dag.<br />
Ik kon ook niet warm worden, zelfs niet in mijn bed.<br />
Heel veel hartkloppingen en overslaand hart met schokken door lichaam.<br />
Hartkloppingen heb ik nu nog bij opwinding.<br />
GROEPSERVARINGEN TIJDENS TRITURATIES<br />
Supervisor – Alize Timmerman<br />
C1 Trituratie – 8 December 2004<br />
Observaties:<br />
Obs: er worden sommige dingen met veel humor verteld.<br />
Voor trituratie begint: rommel, mensen zoek, net na pauze normaal?<br />
A: waar is J, G? Moeten ze niet meedoen? Doet ze altijd<br />
C staat al te tekenen. Wil niet dat Alize aan haar tekening komt. Alize zegt dat: wil niet eens da t ik aan haar tekening kom.<br />
M: waarom moet je altijd bij iemand zijn gevoel?<br />
A tekent iets tussen mijntekening en die van C, gaat direct klagen. Zag ik al aankomen.<br />
C : dit is niet de bedoeling. Wat ben je nou aan het doen!!!!<br />
Kijkt zo van: jeetje.. wat erg, wat een zooi maak je ervan?<br />
G kijkt naar Alize en lacht.<br />
C: blijft naar Alize kijken met een soort afschuw.<br />
Blijft er naar kijken. Gefixeerd. Staart.<br />
De groep vindt Alize een puber omdat ze de tekening van C verpest.<br />
Er wordt gelachen om wat Alize zegt: je moet de mensen in de concentratie laten<br />
C: Wie doet dat dan?<br />
A klaar met tekening “ verpesten” kijkt tevreden<br />
C lacht en zegt zie je dat? Terwijl ze naar Gert kijkt.<br />
A: kijkt rond, wij kunnen overal gaan schilderen.<br />
V Lacht: ze heeft die van mij ook verpest... A kijkt boos.<br />
V Kijkt naar de tekening en probeert een betekenis te vinden voor de groene strepen die A heeft getekend op haar vlinder. Eerst hoort het<br />
niet, daarna denk ik het zou het bos kunnen zijn, of gras, of een bloem waar de vlinder beland maar Ik mis de kleuren van die bloem.<br />
Door de web cam van Gert ziet de tekening er prachtig uit! Ontroerd daardoor.<br />
J: zit de hele tijd te lachen over de Al-Co situatie en maakt sarcastische opmerkingen over.<br />
G kijkt naar mij terwijl ik mijn spullen opruim en ik zeg Mind your own business, soort irritatie maar niet echt serieus.<br />
Hij zegt: doe ik ook! En dan even samen slappen lach.<br />
G zucht een aantal keren tijdens de trituratie.<br />
130
C niezen 2 keer<br />
M hoest 2 keer en dan stopt het<br />
Prover 1<br />
Heftigheid<br />
Donker<br />
Gloeiende oren<br />
Opgeblazen gevoel hoog<br />
Ik hou het niet vol omdat het heftig<br />
Heel snel reactie gekomen<br />
Ik wil het poeder vermorzelen wegens onmacht<br />
Begraafplaats, aan het afgraven<br />
Prover 2<br />
Alleen en verdrietig<br />
Periode tussen C1 en C2 huis opgeruimd. Dingen weggooien. Zolder, kamers van kinderen. SE een kamer klaar, gelijk naar de volgende. Ik<br />
had er tijd voor ook, raar, normaal gesproken niet. Tussen alles door gedaan. Het moest.<br />
Prover 3<br />
Iets niet mogen<br />
Moeder gaat dood kanker<br />
Graag samen met de groep<br />
Tijd ook Zie 4 en 5 ook<br />
Krampen in de arm<br />
Bittersmaak tong<br />
Prover 4<br />
Warme handen<br />
Kerkhof, donker blauw/zwart<br />
Heel rustig : ik kijk rustig de dood in de ogen<br />
Stuwing in hoofd, vooral hoofd en oren<br />
Ogen branden, bovenste oogleden<br />
Koude handen<br />
SE middel oude mensen, stervendenbegeleiding, vogeltrek naar de winter, overgang van de ene fase naar de andere. Om mensen de dood te<br />
laten accepteren.<br />
Vader wat zie je er wit uit, je lijkt wel dood. Wit koud en begraafplaats.<br />
Bij mij dood ook geestelijk. Niet negatief of beangstigend.<br />
Tijd is er nog geen tijd?<br />
Droom:<br />
Iets in stukken, gedaan met tanden erin, eruit spugen<br />
Zachte bloederige spul<br />
Prover 5<br />
Gevoel basis hebben<br />
Heerlijk materiaal om te doen<br />
Gulle stof<br />
SE, ja Basis!<br />
Krampen in voeten<br />
Ook vergeetachtig (Prover 12 ook)<br />
Boos, en gehaast<br />
Heel ongeconcentreerd<br />
Niet goed afmaken<br />
Veel sneller gedaan dan zou moeten<br />
Woedend in de stof te draaien<br />
Zin in koffie (echt nooit)<br />
Ik ergere me aan de koeien lucht, anders nooit<br />
Prover 6<br />
Woede<br />
Veel voorspellende dood, elke keer terug<br />
Echt niet last<br />
Humoristische kant in het middel, plezierige kant<br />
Heel sterk ene of andere kant in te schieten<br />
Prover 7<br />
Heel misselijk geweest (Prover 15 ook gevoeld)<br />
Enorm opgeblazen buik (dikke buik) man ook gezien<br />
Iets met eten te maken<br />
Heel veel gedroomd – elke nacht 2-3 keer wakker geweest<br />
Over dagelijkse dingen door het hoofd- kon niet stop zetten<br />
Uur om 2 wakker en dan 5 uur<br />
Heel veel te doen met oude mensen; heel erg begaan met die oude mensen.<br />
Blijheid Afwisselende met boosheid en droefheid.<br />
Gedacht aan eigen puberteit.<br />
Relatie met moeder niet goed meer , na Lac-H wel beter<br />
Flashback van vroeger – gevecht met moeder.<br />
131
Over kleine dingentjes ruzie maken. (Prover 15 gezegd)<br />
Bijna iets magische gevoel – ik geef de poeder weg – heeft invloed op me<br />
Boos op iedereen<br />
Ontzettend vermoeiend<br />
Tijdens trituratie vrolijk (Prover 15 gezegd) Conny dit deed me ook aan puberteit denken.<br />
Heel intens<br />
Prover 8<br />
Krampen in buik<br />
Gedroomd – ijspegels uit neus kwamen –allemaal afgezaagd met schaar<br />
Voorheen repeterende dromen<br />
Heel koud<br />
IJzige gevoel – in de steek gelaten voelen- alleen in de kou (heel ongewoon voor mijzelf)<br />
Kramp kwam afgelopen zaterdag terug toen ik me bewust werd dat ik hierheen moest komen<br />
Boos – niet helemaal scheiden van mijn state nou (Conny ook dat gevoel)<br />
Reactie op Tsunami onder invloed van dit middel Prover 8<br />
Nuchter geworden in een klap – goed voort te kunnen leven, belangrijk dat ik nuchterheid ontwikkel anders trek ik het niet.<br />
Overleven vanuit mijzelf.<br />
Prover 9<br />
Meer afstand nemen<br />
Ervan af weg moest<br />
Ik wist het en dat was genoeg<br />
Afstand nemen van de realiteit<br />
Iets met de maan, daar heel erg mee bezig (Prover 15 ook)<br />
Discussie over onderwerp Nuchter:<br />
Nuchter: reageren zonder emotionele betrokkenheid.<br />
Prover 18: binnen de proporties, de grenzen.<br />
Prover 15: bepaalde stabiliteit in je emotie. Dat je niet zo verliest in je emoties. In nuchter hoort ook het woord rustig.<br />
Prover 4: verstandelijke toestand dan een emotionele toestand.<br />
Sobrio niet dronken: dat je niet laat gaan door emoties.<br />
Door nuchter zijn neem je afstand (Prover 7).<br />
Prover 10<br />
Sober – dat je niet meegenomen wordt in het gevoel of emotie.<br />
Nuchterheid: is het niet vertrouwen? Een soort basis?<br />
Emotionele basis is daarin redelijk stevig.<br />
Prover 11<br />
Tsunami: ik kon het doseren.<br />
Tv aan - kijken invoelen en huilen – tv uit kon ik door<br />
Eerste 3 weken ontzettend helder geweest<br />
Gevoel basis geweest (Prover 5)<br />
Laatste 2 weken ingestort.<br />
Constant over boerenland en bouwvakkers bleven terugkomen.<br />
Lopen in boeren land met voeten in grond zakken.<br />
Nuchterheid – ik voelde me heel mannelijk – boeren man<br />
Achter me een huis – basic gevoel<br />
Dood – mensen hele wereld in kring, hand in hand Alleluja woord kwam naar boven<br />
IJzer plaat omringt door gras pletten al die mensen, mensen kwamen er onder uit kruipen alsof er niets aan de hand was. Ok we gaan dood-<br />
onder plaat vandaan en weer verder.<br />
Leeuw- vorm van Ik voelde me meer dier als mens. Tijdens tritureren werd ik een leeuw.<br />
Ik kon niet denken als een mens. Ik kon ervaren van vocht, de zon op je huid. Proberen er een mentaal verhaal van te maken, lukte niet. Heel<br />
raar voor mij.<br />
Grijze energie massa en niet meer met vorm. Ik keek anders. Kaarsen branden, allerlei energieën ging erdoor heen, geen vorm. Menselijk<br />
zicht op dingen kwijt.<br />
Wel een paar keer in de spiegel naar kijken. (om te checken of ze een leeuw was). (zie ook Prover 4)<br />
Emoties kon ik anders doseren dan normaal. Mentale laag eronder die gedoseerd naar binnen kreeg. Intensiteit was niet minder, Niet<br />
overspoeld worden dat gevoel<br />
A: Een leeuw ziet een mens niet – zien alleen een grijze massa dat beweegt.<br />
Prover 12<br />
Helderheid in dingen die ik voel, reactie<br />
Vreselijk kwaad, wel met aanleiding<br />
Kramp in maag, ken ik niet van mijzelf<br />
Stoom kwam er uit<br />
Vaagheid. Ik vergeet heel snel, heel veel.<br />
Ontzettend naar woorden zoeken. Heel vreselijk voor mij. Herken ik niet.<br />
Dag van trituratie: heel angstig voor dat ik hier heen kwam.<br />
Angst gevoeld in buik.<br />
Niezen<br />
Gevoel alles eruit kwam tijdens trituratie<br />
1,5 week ziek geweest. Ook niet zoals normaal. Conclusie: komt niet van middel maar wel versneld door het middel.<br />
132
Griepbeeld: Extreem koud, neusloop. 8 uur koud, 8 uur in bed, 1 uur opvlieger raam open..<br />
Dingen in je hoofd hebben dat is goed – en dan binnen 3 seconden kwijt<br />
Veel gedroomd: over huishoudelijke dingen, elke dag taken. (stofzuigen, afwassen)<br />
Ochtend vergeten en dan Smiddads 3 uur stuk herinneren<br />
Nu iets positiefs: Een soort nuchterheid<br />
Tsunami: kon niet mee in vrolijkheid tijdens voorbereidingen kerst. Soort van ondertoontje niet helemaal vrolijk of gezellig. Beelden wilde ik<br />
niet zien. Nu al gezien.<br />
Heel boos met krampen in de maag door beelden telkens, raakte me. Geen zin dat even binnenkwam.<br />
Prover 13<br />
Dit na trituratie<br />
Heel heftig op tsunami, anders heel nuchter<br />
Heel boos, gevecht met verzekering. Boze brief geschreven, anders nooit.<br />
Ongelijk, dingen waar ik niet mee eens was.<br />
Niet nuchter, helemaal niet<br />
Heel emotioneel door t<br />
Tsunami – ik ken daar mensen – er naar gezocht via TV doorzoeken tot alle info had. Zo ben ik helemaal niet, nog nooit gedaan.<br />
Heel zenuwachtig en teleurgesteld.<br />
Tijdens trituratie<br />
Stijve nek daarna rustig gevoel<br />
Weken opgeblazen buik<br />
Prover 14<br />
Boosheid, slaan op tafel<br />
Schreeuwen, gewoon grof<br />
Oneerlijkheid aanleiding van boosheid Dat kan niet!!!!! zo oneerlijk!<br />
Wat voor soort oneerlijkheid?<br />
Conny: afspraak met moeder en familie, opeens moeder zei dingen die niet klopte. Oneerlijk wat ze deed. Ik ben er niet zacht mee omgegaan.<br />
Geschreeuwd!<br />
Prover 15<br />
Allemaal beelden Auschwitz in sneeuw en kou. IJskoud heel groot plan geweest. Welke hersenen bedenken zulke dingen?<br />
Prover 17<br />
C1 buiten mijzelf geraakt van woede en agressie. Zwaar, Heftig. Daardoor C2 niet durven doen.<br />
Kinkhoest waardoor beschadiging strotklep. Klep slaat om. Snachts stikken, flauwvallen. Sinds trituraties niet meer snachts. Denk dat het aan<br />
het genezen is.<br />
Gedacht nu moet ik stoppen, niet gestopt en dan hoesten.<br />
Kinkhoest – Lac-H is een van de belangrijkste middelen voor Kinkhoest. Iemand uit praktijk Vaak longenphyseem erachter aan omdat<br />
blaasjes opgetrokken worden.<br />
C2 TRITURATIE 25 januari 2005<br />
Observaties: Met deze proving heeft men moeite met de website, dat is gebleken<br />
Supervisor vraagt of we door gaan. Ik (Prover 3) SE dat er echt geen animo voor is. Prover 12 en 3 zelf geen behoefte.<br />
Prover 1<br />
Gloeien, branden, oog<br />
Explosief<br />
Ondeugend, bleek ook uit de rest<br />
Rustig, lekker<br />
Prover 2<br />
Veel speeksel<br />
Veel aan vroeger denken, foto’s van mijzelf en familieleden van vroeger<br />
Aan kleurtijd denken<br />
Conclusie: gelukkige tijd<br />
Gedachten rondfladderen<br />
Stekende pijn boven linker oog, verloop erger, komt het gaan<br />
Poeder : glijbaan waar veel overheen is gegleden<br />
Frisse koud in mijn neus<br />
Beelden van vroegere winters, sneeuw en ijs<br />
Jammer dat zulke winters er niet zijn misschien volgende leven, geruststellend gevoel<br />
Rustige beweging, ook schrappen, normaal niet<br />
Misselijk<br />
Het leven is een cirkel, met begin en eind<br />
Laatste stap niet gemaakt<br />
Prover 4<br />
Hitte en branden<br />
Droge neus<br />
Droge slijmvliezen in het algemeen<br />
133
Voor de rest is het gewoon lekker<br />
Pesten/verborgen agressie: zo ervaar ik het ook die acties over de tekeningen.<br />
Stel kinderen die elkaar aan het pesten zijn.<br />
Grenzen: boos omdat anderen je grenzen heen gaan.<br />
Conflict die op 2 verschillende niveaus wordt<br />
Niveau zit ver van elkaar af.<br />
Komt langs elkaar heen.<br />
Prover 7<br />
Er moet iets exploderen<br />
Meteoriet<br />
Vuurbal<br />
Gevoel dat we aan haar komen. Grenzen stellen.<br />
Speelse ervan te zien, eigenlijk is het wel komisch en toen begon het luchtiger te worden.<br />
En dan weer met dat groen, dacht ik uhhh!<br />
Daar is mijn grens en dat is alles.<br />
Voelde alsof ik iets los kon laten.<br />
Ruzie over kleuren in tekening: Dat voel ik als een strijd, al in het begin. Wat doe je nou? Je moet iemand laten!<br />
Prover 7 ik heb een lichtblauw jas gekocht; ik had dat nog nooit gedaan!<br />
Prover 8<br />
Verre planeet die explodeer<br />
Kou nog steeds, ijsbergen<br />
Wezenloos gevoel<br />
Onbegrensd erbij ook<br />
Kleur blauw ook. Lucht in wezen.<br />
Prover 9<br />
Alleen maar wolven zag lopen<br />
Boeiend conflict. Prover 15 zegt geen territorium. En dan tegelijkertijd kom je wel in het territorium, ruimte, grens.<br />
Jij zegt dat je daar niet in leeft.<br />
Bij territorium hoort altijd een grens. Ik voel dat er geen grenzen zijn. (Supervisor en prover 15)<br />
Prover 10<br />
Heerlijke tijd gehad<br />
Bezig met gesprekken uit begin avond<br />
Lekker gevoel<br />
Prover 11<br />
Van de week 2 conflicten van hetzelfde soort<br />
Verdrietig<br />
Daarna letterlijk spugen dat wat ik binnen had gekregen die niet bij me past<br />
Dit heeft te maken met oneerlijkheid.<br />
Alize: dacht kinderen vinden altijd alles oneerlijk.<br />
Wolven, leeuwen en slangen Iets gemeens met elkaar – dieren die enorm het instinct aanwakkeren in mensen.<br />
Prover 12<br />
Alleen voet vanaf enkel ijsblokken, voeten bloedsomloop voelt gaan.<br />
Linker continu kouder naar rechts<br />
Nu rechts kouder naar links<br />
Natte stenen geur.<br />
Genoten van de spel<br />
Conny ik geef je helemaal gelijk, dat groene<br />
Tijdens het schrappen heel ongeduldig – zijn we nog niet klaar?<br />
Over tekening<br />
Groene bevalt ons niet. (Provers 12, 7 en 3)<br />
Dieren: 2 kleuren blauw, kop van wolfachtig kanivoor<br />
Prover 3 walvis<br />
Prover 13<br />
de zon getekend, moest oorspronkelijk rond, spontaan kwamen de stralen erbij<br />
Ontzettende keelpijn – niet meer slikken (Alize tijdens C1)<br />
Ontspannen<br />
Warm lekker warm<br />
Heel ontspannen<br />
Anticipatie angst, gevoeld in maag voor de toekomst Ik weet niet hoe het moet in de toekomst en tot weet ik niet wat de toekomst brengt.<br />
Duizelig. Licht in hoofd.<br />
Prover 15<br />
Uitgeput en moe<br />
En als ik maar naar bed kon<br />
Kon ik ajb gaan slapen<br />
Ineens in hoofd ik wil van de tijd af<br />
Universum een tijdloos bestaan is.<br />
Verlangen tijd los te laten<br />
134
(Prover 4 ook) overgaan anderen dimensie, tijdloos, licht, zon naar boven. Kleur donker blauw.<br />
Warm hoofd maar voelde koud van buitenaf.<br />
Grijs-blauw hoort hier niet bij. Donker blauw moet het.<br />
Prover 15: wil de licht blauw<br />
Prover 7: helemaal niet!<br />
Alles blauw turquoise, licht blauw<br />
Heel warm hoofd<br />
Stekende pijn aan beide kanten<br />
Mijn behoefte beeld uit te drukken<br />
Beeld was universele donkere, blauwe hemelschepper<br />
Bal kort klein en tijdelijk<br />
Zag geen evenwicht met de rest en daarom geheel ervan gemaakt<br />
Ik zou geen probleem hebben als iemand anders daar iets meedoet<br />
Niet mijn territorium of zo.<br />
Het universum is tijdloos en gaat in rondgaande golving.<br />
Het is pijnlijk dat je iets doet dat bij anderen als kwaad of anders wordt opgevat.<br />
Je doet iets en dat wordt zus of zo uitgelegd en klopt het niet.<br />
Mensen komen met projecties en het klopt niet.<br />
Pijn is omdat je niet veroordeeld wil worden omdat je iets in een andere dimensie zit.<br />
Andere dimensie en daarom niet mogelijk om je grenzen te overschrijden. Dat zou mij niet beperken. (discussie over grenzen).<br />
Voor mij is het allemaal niet af. Hele laatste maand bezig ben geweest met die kleuren.<br />
Blauw, licht blauw of turquoise bezig.<br />
Prover 7 ik heb een lichtblauw jas gekocht; ik had dat nog nooit gedaan!<br />
Prover 16<br />
Warm<br />
Beetje blij<br />
Opgelucht<br />
Behoefte iedereen te bekijken wat ze doen<br />
Of ze hetzelfde gevoel hebben<br />
Energie, meer energie<br />
C3 TRITURATIE – Februari 2005<br />
Prover 1<br />
Lucht rook, benzineachtig<br />
Rechter zij steken<br />
Vervlogen tijden denken<br />
Aanzichtkaart, begin jaren 20 mensen, straatbeeld<br />
Benauwd en aan oma denken<br />
Se iets in de keel zit<br />
Daarna stilte, sereniteit<br />
Trillende door lichaam gaan<br />
Oud verdriet te maken met de oorlog<br />
Joden gevoerd naar gaskamers<br />
Heel emotioneel<br />
Pijn in hart steken<br />
Oma en opa oorlog<br />
Familie verdriet<br />
VERDRIET IS TE ERG TE Zwaar en dan moet ik stoppen.<br />
Prover 2<br />
C3 (gedeeltelijk C2, niet afgemaakt)<br />
Regenboog, als je in het leven komt via regenboog en terug achter regenboog.<br />
Heel prettig gevoel.<br />
Ontzettend slaperig, veel gapen. Tevreden loom gevoel<br />
Ongeduldig van moeheid – boos irritatie, vijzel in hoek willen gooien<br />
Niet hoe moest zitten, niet weten wat ik me mijzelf aan moest.<br />
Schrappen mateloos irriteren<br />
Loom gevoel – van hyper naar loom gevoel- raar omslaan<br />
Gekriebel achterhoofd na C4 Lac H weg en nu weer<br />
Tinteling gevoel in tong<br />
Branderige ogen<br />
Te veel C2 en C3 achter elkaar.<br />
Prover 4<br />
De zee<br />
Branderige oogleden ook vorige keer<br />
Vorige keer warm nu koude handen, door naar koude arm<br />
Iets gemist<br />
Stuwing hoofd<br />
Boom reikt naar het licht. Boom past niet bij het schilderij. Niet gedurfd.<br />
Oude dikke hoge boom<br />
Leeftijd tijdloos<br />
Er is geen tijd<br />
Over eeuwen nog tijd, vorm van zijn<br />
135
Koud!!!!!! Interne koud, zon nodig om op te warmen<br />
Zon centrale rol, spelen<br />
Tropisch regenwoud.<br />
Toestand van zijn, kou<br />
Alle grenzen weg zijn<br />
Oerbos beelden<br />
Prover 5<br />
Pepermunt LUCHT<br />
Spinnenweb<br />
Enigheid?<br />
Bewust van basis die hier zit<br />
Frisse LUCHT<br />
Zeer bevoorrecht<br />
Stof en ik maatjes<br />
Dit is zo gul, vertrouwt<br />
Hoge bergen van waaruit emotieloos kon zien<br />
SE evenwicht in de stof, heel rustig en heel fijn<br />
Lichte darm krampen –transversaal<br />
Steken linker oor<br />
Mortier dicht bij me hebben<br />
3 hoek, zwart, oranje en wit<br />
Het komt uit mij ziel, de stof<br />
Pijn links gaat naar rechts<br />
Ongeduld, het is mooi geweest en dan denk ik nog een keer<br />
Kijk naar mijzelf als baby op wieg<br />
Heel warm bovenkant<br />
Broek kribbelen, prikt wil het eruit.<br />
Sneeuw<br />
Te gast in de wereld van de stof<br />
Stof geeft zich over wordt bijna zalf<br />
Boeddhistische tempel met allemaal belletjes. Gevoel Van<br />
Schrappen anderen irriteert<br />
SE Zeer bevoorrecht<br />
Behoefte aan ruimte en vrijheid<br />
Beelden nachtelijke donker blauwe lucht – mediterrane LUCHT<br />
Het is er gewoon. Daar ben ik toeschouwer in.<br />
Prover 6<br />
Klopt ik haal eruit wat erin zit en het was ook zo veel...<br />
zit steeds met zakje zit te wriemelen (enige) mooi middel maar ook veel zwaarte in zich.<br />
Begint duurde zolang de trituratie. Duurt veel te lang.<br />
Laatste melklactose gaat het opeens heel snel,d e tijd.<br />
Heel zwaar, eerst voor mijn leven met beide handen zitten tritureren. Het is heavy.<br />
Mooie vlakte gezien met ontzettend veel reflectie licht in sneeuw veel kleuren, spatte op eens uit elkaar. Pubertjes kwamen dus aan.<br />
Geen droefheid<br />
Moe en zwaarte.<br />
Zwaar, zwaar, zwaar.<br />
Prover 7<br />
Niet eens behoefte om te vertellen<br />
Lichte HP<br />
Geen bh aan, grote trui aan ik wil helemaal niets vandaag (ook prover 17)<br />
Verschillende fases – Duitse woorden in me op – apart<br />
Kamphor LUCHT – kou nog veel extremer in camphora – alles bij kou, ijskoud..<br />
Roeren midden geen substantie – middelpunt vliedend<br />
Schrappen energiek naar midden toe<br />
Gesloten ogen voelt goed<br />
Rustig en moe en gaap<br />
Kijk en zei mensen M, C, AM en toen dacht ik wij zijn niet blij. En dan ruik ik (Eau de Cologne) Oude mensen geur.<br />
(7 is wel Duits)<br />
Ik wil niet schrappen (17, 3 en 15)<br />
Opmerkelijk dat er niets gebeurde, was niet lamlendig<br />
Ik ben er niet bij, ik ben niet aangesloten<br />
Het staat me heel erg tegen, niet met stroom mee<br />
Ik wil niet roeren, moeilijk<br />
Ik wil me nu niet verzetten, ik moet dat nu niet doen<br />
Meedoen moeilijk<br />
Pijn in hart, verzetten = oorlog<br />
Boek aan het lezen over concentratiekampen<br />
Schilderij gelijk willen schilderen in die hoek maar geen energie ervoor. Rustig heel anders als de vorige keer.<br />
Discipline. Nog een keer roeren, ik vond het zo erg!<br />
Op z’n knieën<br />
Ik wil niet meer. Is dit meer verzet.<br />
136
Ik ben hier niet geschikt voor, heel erg jammer vind ik dat!<br />
Aan het einde toch iets creatiefs in zit. Wil iets moois van maken.<br />
Wil naar de C4. Nu is het klaar. (3 en 6 ook)<br />
Prover 8<br />
Boosheid erken ik heel erg, laatste week nav C2 heel erg gevoeld<br />
Heel erg naar mijzelf toe woede<br />
Tegenstellingen gevoel, ook nu<br />
Van boven naar beneden, links naar rechts<br />
Stilte-lawaai.. allemaal tegenstelling<br />
Koud, rillingen<br />
Beeld Hele verre planeet, (bij C2 ook)<br />
Beeld van een stier<br />
En van een boom<br />
5 e straal gevoel van)<br />
fysiek – Sensatie te maken heeft met gebied rond de keel<br />
Associatie met dood = misselijk gevoel tijdens het tritureren en ook van verhalen die ik heb gehoord. Werkt in mij door. Beroerd van. Kan<br />
niet weergeven in woorden.<br />
Heel veel plezier om G. Zat heel erg, haal eruit wat er in zit...<br />
Stimulerend voor mij (gedrag van G)<br />
Prover 6 keek anders dan normaal (Prover 4)<br />
Prover 6 is lief en komisch (Prover 8)<br />
Prover 9<br />
Het enige wat ik graag wil zeggen<br />
Ik zie van vorige keer dat jij een vissen kop gemaakt hebt en ik dacht ja de dimensies vloeien uit elkaar voort, het is onvermijdelijk. Kennis<br />
van aarde in zicht. Het moest dus zo, de tekening.<br />
Prover 10<br />
Beeld van de zee, voelde een soort getrokken of gedrukt naar een donker plek binnen.<br />
Misschien was het de zee. Diep, diep in iets.<br />
Rustiger maar heel zwaar. Dat is wat ik herken wat van jullie hebben gezegd.<br />
Moe, gapen.<br />
Gevoel in donkere? Zwaar alsof ik vastgehouden werd maar niet angstig maar ook niet rustig of prettigs. Iets nieuws.<br />
Enorme angst om te beginnen.<br />
Prover 11<br />
Heel veel<br />
C1 -2 -3 door elkaar heen<br />
Niet vervelend<br />
Het is zo veel<br />
Het stopt niet, het blijft doorgaan, dadelijk explodeert mijn hoofd.. dat allemaal moet gaan vertellen.<br />
Prover 12<br />
SE sereniteit<br />
Heel veel verdriet<br />
Tegenstellingen<br />
Vragen in mijzelf – deze verwrijving is gesprek met mijzelf.<br />
Botsende dingen in mijn leven of ik links of rechts moet daarin<br />
Koude voeten als vorige keer<br />
SE gezicht rood, dat het straalt<br />
In gesprek met mijzelf punt gekomen ene helft begreep, kreeg ik middenvoorhoofd pijn tussen wenkbrauwen.<br />
Heel zwaar.<br />
Prover 13<br />
Hele week last gehad van rechter arm<br />
Sterke pepermunt LUCHT<br />
Arm kou alsof ingesmeerd met pepermunt olie<br />
Afgeschermd geheel, essentie of doel kon komen, SE puntje van tong en<br />
Mensen horen niet thuis in steden maar in de natuur in de groen, net als dieren.<br />
Tv vreemd futuristisch voorwerp<br />
Dierlijke behoefte<br />
Losrukken van banden, kettingen<br />
Helemaal niet aan regels gebonden, asociaal<br />
Zwerver, lekker vrij.<br />
Vrij zijn heel sterk.<br />
Prover 15<br />
Angst voor verwrijving.<br />
Hele diepe zwarte zee.<br />
Heel blij van verhaal regenboog Clara, alsof het samen hoort.<br />
Zee zwart met rimpels.<br />
Vorige keer maar blauwe lucht.<br />
137
Ik nam Prover 7 waar, gezicht veranderd gezicht was opeens vrouw 35 jaar.<br />
Prover 7 gaat helemaal in haar kracht staan. Als een vrouw uitzien. Zo zag ik het eigenlijk.<br />
Marije begint trituratie. Omgekeerd werd en soort jong meisje van 13-14 jaar. Zag er heel anders uit dan nu, bijna ander persoon. Hoe zijn<br />
geplaagd is. Hoe geplaagd ze is moet zijn geweest in die tijd. Vandaag andere kleding aangedaan dan anders om dit te laten zien.<br />
Dat klopt: ik zat in de auto en ik ben terug gegaan. Ik kon niet gaan.<br />
Geen BH, geen make up opgedaan, uitzonderlijk!<br />
Vluchtige gedachten over egoïsme. Wat egoïsme echt is.<br />
Toeeigenen van gevoelens en ineens.<br />
Daarvoor beeld gehad. Aantal jaren geleden vrouw overleden in de praktijk. Tegenover mij vertelde hoe goed het met haar ging. Kwam op<br />
consult voor haar kinderen. ¾ woorden opgeschreven. Weten welk middel 9 maanden is geweest, dat is mijn middel. Ging doorschrijven naar<br />
andere homeopaten. Vervuld gevoel. In deze trituratie, mijn gevoel was Nanny kwam als volgende patiënt bij me binnen. Gewoon binnen<br />
komen, Het verdriet wat je nu hebt moeten we bespreken. Kijk dat is nou wat mensen doen. Ik was boos op mijzelf in die tijd dat ik niet...<br />
Geschokt geen verdriet toen de tijd. Veel verdriet voor haar kinderen en man.<br />
Later begreep ik ook waarom ik dat niet gehad heb. Logisch moment voor haar. Aversie voor wij mensen die toestand van iemand anders.<br />
Zelf een probleem, verdriet hebben over overledene vrouw, alleen verdriet van eigen probleem maar dan projecteren op dood van die vrouw.<br />
Gevoelens die je weer gebruikt via de andere. Woorden door me heen: dit stabiliseert onze extreme gevoelens. Pijn in linker schouder.<br />
Jonge jongens woedige zee tegen golven in bewegen. Dwarsliggende golven veroorzaken. Stout doen en bijna hard, weinig gevoelens zijn.<br />
Ivm patiënt, verdriet was goedkoop geweest.<br />
Stout of rebelse in verborgen ligt. Jonge jongens in de zee hebben kracht om dit zo te doen.<br />
Zee zwart en donker en diep.<br />
Vloer veel prachtige kleuren, stenen prachtige kleuren in zich dragen.<br />
Meer energie.<br />
Droge hoest.<br />
Zuivert gevoelens die de ruimte innemen van anderen.<br />
Ik hoor niet wat er gezegd wordt. Steken linker borst.<br />
Gaperig en zo. (melksuiker)<br />
Over ruzie omtrent tekening<br />
Eind van de avond even gaan staan, aan de andere kant en toen begreep ik waar jullie het over hadden. Paar meter verandering van betekenen<br />
zien vanuit andere dimensie.<br />
Dit middel prikkel gegeven dat het zo is. Werkelijkheden heel snel kunnen veranderen. Mensen kunnen tegelijkertijd verschillende<br />
waarheden zien en ervaren waardoor scheiding, ruzie. Mensen relateren aan waarheid en onrecht.<br />
Kinderen hebben dat gevoel – het is niet eerlijk.<br />
Prover 16<br />
Allemaal angsten<br />
Lichaam in buikgebied<br />
Opstaan met enorme angst en niet kunnen herkennen omdat er is niets.<br />
Na C1 veel gebeurd daarom nu erbij zijn<br />
Dood en afscheid<br />
Vandaag werd ik wakker, zo een angst de hele dag<br />
Gevoel voorgevoelens had<br />
Begrafenisauto tegenkomt en daarna gebeurd iets heel heftigs.. al jaren zo dat als ik ze tegen<br />
Gespannen, hartkloppingen<br />
Gelukkig ik kan nu iets delen, toen Alize vijzel meegaf<br />
Gevoel van losbreken<br />
Linker benen en arm, binnenkant benen schraal<br />
Enorme ijsberg, heel indrukwekkend van boven begon te smelten<br />
Bergen, eenzaam en verlaten<br />
Nek zat vast<br />
....<br />
Skelet beweging van achteren naar binnen<br />
Achter rechter ook pijn<br />
Medelijden, liefde gevoel<br />
Heel koud en zo ontzettend moe<br />
Daarna dagelijkse dingen af te dwalen<br />
IJsberg voor staan? Smelten alsof verharding van het middel, iets zachter kan worden. Vanuit al die dood, afscheid en verdriet. Uitbreken,<br />
doorbreken daaruit, dat gevoel.<br />
Dat lot zo zwaar is om te kunnen dragen (Prover 17 zegt dat ook)<br />
Gevoel hoe moet je dit doen? Periode hiervoor.<br />
Prover 17<br />
Ook boom schilderen, mist de bladeren, doe maar niet.<br />
Verkleed van Praktijkkleren, zat in de auto en ik ben teruggegaan. Ik kon niet gaan.<br />
Enorme rust en sereniteit<br />
Dorst<br />
Alwetend oog, oog van orka wordt oog van havik (weet het ook maar kleiner en meer gefocust, verfijnde blik)<br />
Orka moeder aarde oog<br />
Scherpe zeelucht<br />
Ik mis de bomen en de kracht van de boom<br />
Tijdloosheid<br />
Diepe trance<br />
138
Geen gedachten<br />
Prettig om te zijn leegte en stilte<br />
Wil niet schrappen, dan kom ik uit stilte en rust<br />
Stampen niet door kom heen<br />
Heel emotioneel<br />
Materie is te zwaar, je kan er niet doorheen<br />
Ik wil daar omhoog in de spiritualiteit<br />
Wereld zonder gedachten<br />
Dit leven is me veel te veel<br />
Stoppen met trituratie fysiek te zijn op deze wereld<br />
Ik wil daarboven zijn<br />
Omhoog uit mijn lijf getrokken<br />
Ik wil bewust niet meer hier zijn<br />
Afscheid neem van deze wereld, gevoel<br />
Schrappen, veel herrie maken<br />
Scheten te laten<br />
Herrie maken<br />
Kinderlijke neiging<br />
12-13 jaar gevoel<br />
Bewust vergeten middel te leggen voor patiënt, mag een keer<br />
Verplicht om door te gaan en dan hoesten en stoppen ermee<br />
Bijna dood ervaring, al een keer gehad op andere middel, zo voelde dit ook.<br />
Nu ok<br />
Beeld terminale patiënt. (Prover 4 ook)<br />
Het leven is zwaar. Niet fysiek zwaar is.. emotioneel zwaar vooral.<br />
Prover 18<br />
Terug te kijken naar vorige<br />
Beelden zijn essentieel bij dit middel<br />
Geen woorden kunnen vinden<br />
Dromen heel belangrijk<br />
Constant wakker geweest gevoel van onderdrukking, allemaal Carc innemen in LM1. gaat het weg.<br />
Wrede dromen – vraten kaken vis eruit. Shock dat ik het zag.<br />
Oude schildpadden aten kop van de vis. Associatie over onderdrukte wreedheid.<br />
Tijdens verwrijving stil gevoel harmonieus<br />
What is the name of the game? Iets met spel, soort verleiding en dat slaat het toe<br />
Gevaar komt uit onverwachte hoek<br />
Tijdbeeld is bepalend, tijdgeest bepaald normen en waarden, nee cultuur. Diep geworteld is.<br />
De aard van het beest verander je niet.<br />
Ik zit in een andere werkelijkheid, dimensie. Ik sluit niet aan bij de anderen. Cannabis gevoel iedereen zit te filosoferen.<br />
Prover 15: wreedheid voel ik wel.<br />
Veel dromen, dansen. Nachten gedroomd, pijn in maag, zoveel mensen met zoveel ellende hadden. Mensen zaten er vol van, ze moesten het<br />
kwijt.<br />
Wreedheid: in de droom wel maar in andere dimensie is het geen wreedheid. Tijdbeeld en cultuur is bepalend. Dus andere cultuur of<br />
tijdsbeeld kan het logisch zijn.<br />
Anders in een andere dimensie- botsen van dimensies geeft pijn.<br />
Afgelopen week werkelijkheid bezig geweest. Vriend duidelijk maken dat het zo was. Ik dacht duidelijk zijn dat werkelijkheid veranderd met<br />
voorwerp, hoe jij het bekijkt. Ik wilde heel graag dat een andere die waarheid realiseert. Het is niet iets vaststand.<br />
C4 Trituratie 16 maart 2005<br />
Prover 1<br />
Druk op borst en pijn in voorhoofd<br />
Heel erg in mijzelf<br />
Laat me met rust<br />
Met niemand te maken hebben<br />
Loslaten<br />
Niet hier willen zijn<br />
Ik ben goed zoals ik ben<br />
Hier weg, heb gezien hier = bevrijding gevoel<br />
Irritatie – hard schrappen<br />
Wrijven liever dan schrappen<br />
Wrijven ging goed, schrappen duurde te lang<br />
Verlangen naar muziek bij weg kunnen zweven<br />
Heel veel kleuren<br />
Leegte<br />
Ego bestaan prima, maar ik ga weg<br />
Pijn rechter oor<br />
Ruik frisse geur, lente<br />
Ik wil hier niet zijn<br />
139
Gevoel dat ik weg ben<br />
Als ik terugkom, dit is mijn lot<br />
Daarna eruit..<br />
Supervisor: gevoel dat zij (Prover 1) weg ging<br />
Heftig middel<br />
Hoe voelde je dat? In je lichaam?<br />
Ja, licht worden<br />
Prover 2<br />
Heel lang leeg gebleven<br />
Zwaar en blauw<br />
Voelde stevig draaien, einde licht gevoel<br />
Eigenlijk te stevig, zacht prettiger<br />
Rood voor ogen<br />
Zwart en dan groen en rood<br />
Gevoel van afstand dood gevoel<br />
Onverschillig (niet bij me passen) Het is zo als het is.<br />
Heel lang met ogen dicht<br />
Hagelslag, kou, stilte en koude wereld<br />
Er was geen tijd<br />
Zijn-niet zijn – ik had er niets mee, ik voelde er niets bij<br />
Het is allemaal goed, onverschillig.<br />
Rij mensen door sneeuw lopen<br />
Geen zin in, helemaal nergens toe<br />
Ik vond het pijnlijk<br />
Ogen dicht draaien<br />
SE helderder zie<br />
Draaien lichter<br />
Hier lichter allemaal<br />
Het is helemaal niet zo stevig, lijkt alleen stevig.<br />
140
Prover 3<br />
Angst om te verwrijven naar C5 door verhaal van 11.<br />
Ontzettend aangedaan door verhaal 11. Boosheid, verdriet, ongeloof, BALEN!<br />
Onder de indruk van 11 haar reactie. Sterke vrouw.<br />
Supervisor: Meelevend zijn is van jezelf, actie maar reactie boosheid, balen is van het middel!<br />
Dan moet je het echt doen, want nu zit je in de weerstand en daar moet je overheen.<br />
Prover 5<br />
Enige gelijkmatige<br />
Van boven af naar de wereld kijk<br />
Een sneeuw wereld<br />
Frisse geur van zeepachtig – kruidige geur in meubel winkels in het oosten, Singapore en zo.<br />
Kruidig en fris<br />
Vanuit enige bergdeel naar beneden, geluid gedempt door dikke laag sneeuw<br />
Gedachten aan overleden mensen<br />
Dikke pak sneeuw- vertrouwen<br />
Heel merkwaardig – Alice in Wonderland.<br />
Wie ben ik dat ik deel mag hebben aan..<br />
Barst in eens de concentratie door lachen van iedereen<br />
Stof: het is mij zo gul<br />
Prover 6<br />
Heeft niets te melden<br />
Prover 7<br />
Ik heb een blij gevoel (klinkt niet zo), toen ik begon bedoel ik<br />
Mensen lachen<br />
Jullie te praten, ik zeg er wat van<br />
Schaamte, sorry<br />
Ik moet aan Irene denken<br />
Iets voor haar willen doen om het lichter te maken<br />
Wat moet ze inhalen? Wat in familie nog plaats moet krijgen? En dan weg<br />
Steeds dingen in me opkomen<br />
Vanuit onzekerheid belangrijk willen zijn, dat hoeft nu niet meer, maar dan ben ik nog wel zeker wanneer ik iets moet zeggen. Geen gevoel<br />
voor timing.<br />
Heel blij en dankbaar dat ik tritureer dat er geen PC’s staan.<br />
Gebonden gevoel, ook kan ik niet iedereen helpen want iedereen heeft eigen stuk<br />
Het raakt me maar ik denk ik moet het maar laten.<br />
Zorg om Gert<br />
Wil in deze toestand blijven, ik hoef niet echt verder<br />
Het kan alleen maar beter worden<br />
Zeemanslied in het Duits, maakt me heel blij en dan denk ik..<br />
Hopelijk gaat het geheel niet in elkaar barsten als een grote zeeveld?<br />
Marije experimenten in de oorlog dat mensen iets moeten ervaren wat ze dachten dat ze nooit zouden kunnen doen. Toen geen overzicht en<br />
dat ze er diep in zaten om dat te beseffen.<br />
Film moeten zijn van familie en dan ga ik dingen weten zonder ze meegemaakt te hebben, als het al in je ziel ziet.<br />
Waar zijn mensen krachtig in...????<br />
Zouden wij nog veel moeten wrijven, het geeft niets, wij komen er uit met z’n alleen<br />
Ik voel me er boven staan, het maakt dat ik me schaam<br />
Ik hoef nu niet meer te schrappen.<br />
SE speel spel, kijkt naar mij, schamen daarvoor<br />
Stukje kwijt, heel moe kan niet meer opschrijven<br />
Ben bang, existentiële angst<br />
Nu weet ik het weer, het ging te snel<br />
Als we door blijven gaan blijven in toestand<br />
Angst voor wat er komt?<br />
Prover 11<br />
Dierenverhaal<br />
Ik vind het een beetje flauw<br />
Afvragen waar ik ben<br />
Ik kan niet stoppen met huilen<br />
Voorhoofd kloppen<br />
Afgelopen weken heel moeilijk<br />
Ik wist niet wat ik moest doen<br />
Riep om hulp<br />
Prettig om die man om je heen te hebben<br />
Ik kan niets met Candy voorheen<br />
Beeld van daken van huizen met antennes<br />
Waar gaan die antennes naar toe, vooral naar wat?<br />
Ik word op mijn plaats gezet door middel<br />
Met ego te maken?<br />
Zoveel leed<br />
Vooral vrouwenleed<br />
OPOFFERING<br />
141
Heeft met werkelijke rituelen te maken<br />
In soort wolk en mist<br />
Maan belangrijk<br />
Jonge wolf, ik ben aan het spelen en dat is heel prettig<br />
Vacht warmte en zonnewarmte heel belangrijk<br />
Jeugd en comode heel belangrijk, er staat voor iets maar weet niet wat<br />
Vuur te maken met beslissingen<br />
Bij Indianen, trommel ceremonie gaande, het gaat over oorlog<br />
Vredespijp gerookt maar terwijl we dat doen onderspit moeten leven, het is niet echt. Voor het komisch verhaal is het nodig<br />
Dik stroperig spul, geel, energetisch allemaal vuil, het is niet fijn maar alle anderen kwaliteiten ook zichtbaar<br />
Pees en bloed bezig, vooral pezen belangrijk in het verhaal<br />
Tovenaar, alchemistisch proces het gaat voor de hele wereld en geen emotionele betrokkenheid, het gaat om het totale overzicht.<br />
Wolven, ik word weer een wolf<br />
Ik kan alles ruiken en proeven<br />
Ik communiceert met het water, het gaat over het vuur van de aarde, zeggen de bomen als ik een niew bloesem wil vormen<br />
Groot zwaart gat, hart tekeer<br />
Ipv gele verf is het nu wit<br />
Kattenogen gehad die ik eerder heb gehad<br />
Jungle constant over vocht, buien,<br />
Over eenzaamheid, diepe eenzaamheid<br />
Alles wordt geëlimineerd<br />
Gemeen gevoel gehad<br />
Enorm grote spin, zwarte spin zonder richting of ruimte<br />
Binnenkant huid zwart<br />
Buitenkant helemaal wit<br />
Droge mond<br />
Alles is droog<br />
Heel moe<br />
Niets meer zin heeft<br />
Zin om alles overboord te gooien en niets meer<br />
Heel interessant, ik ben goed aan het kijken wat er gebeurd<br />
Er gebeuren hele grote dingen in mijn omgeving<br />
1 jaar lang partner voor een zaak. Mijn hele toekomst op gebaseerd, bijna verhuisd.<br />
Alles is weg. Vriendje ging weg. Het is niet erg, maar het heeft ook wel wat.<br />
Ook geen mannen die leuke dingen tegen me zeggen, integendeel<br />
7 resoneert met 11<br />
Ik voel veel angst uit jouw spreken en ook heel veel schaamte<br />
15 voelt ook veel eenzaamheid.<br />
Prover 12<br />
Vanmiddag om 14 uur – elke dag dat we C4 hebben<br />
HP in voorhoofd en daarna achter<br />
Gezwollen speeksel klieren<br />
Buikpijn precies onder middenrif<br />
Benen strekken ging niet<br />
Dingen vergeten ondanks goede voorbereiding<br />
Warme handen en voeten en andere trituraties tegengestelde<br />
Rust ontspannen<br />
Onrust chaotisch afwisselend<br />
Niet kunnen concentreren<br />
Zwaar in slaap<br />
Witte wereld alles bedekt en stil maakt<br />
Sneeuw eruit pakken uit mortier, gevoel,ook die kou<br />
Wat is dit nou? Gedachten wie ben jij?<br />
Vervormde gezichten in mortier krijgen en Duitse woorden in mijn hoofd = verwarring<br />
Wat moet ik daar nou mee?<br />
En dan chaotisch<br />
Moe, slaperig en moeite met concentreren<br />
Zwaarmoedig afwisselend met luchtige stemming<br />
Kwetsende voelen van oude dingen, lang geleden<br />
Vooral kwetsende dingen kwamen boven<br />
Prover 13<br />
Heel warrig<br />
Dissociatie gevoel<br />
Ik vergeet alles<br />
Hoofd blanco<br />
Kleuren komen uit, heel duidelijk<br />
Zo ver over grenzen te zijn dat ik de aarde niet meer zie<br />
Het is niet eerlijk hoe mensen elkaar belazeren, iedereen doet het.<br />
Dan slaap<br />
Zelfs in slaap vallen als ik een moord heb gezien (en dan nog verder slapen)<br />
Pijn in arm.<br />
Diepe zee, zweven<br />
142
Half slaap toestand<br />
Waarom val ik in slaap?<br />
Wil ik niet weten<br />
Ik wil wakker en alert zijn<br />
Actie is die telt maar het is eigenlijk niet zo, weet ik<br />
Gert heel hard schrappen.<br />
Soort Lord of the Rings – op het moment dat je in slaap gaat vallen (heb ik vaker)<br />
Droombeelden bij het schrappen, bijna in slaap vallen.<br />
Prover 15<br />
Op een heel bepaalde manier associaties. Niet eenvoudig te vinden<br />
Moe en hongerig. Begrijp er niets van<br />
Gevoel van kou, heel letterlijk (geestelijk)<br />
Spiritueel eenzaam en koud<br />
Hoe komt het dat het zo is en zal zijn?<br />
Noordelijke kou<br />
Uitgestrekt eenzaam en nat<br />
Idee voor stijgen naar....<br />
Het is de overgang<br />
Wit en sneeuw<br />
Overgang door doodsgebeuren heen<br />
Woord: skelet kwam steeds in me op<br />
Elkaar beschuldigen uitweg om verder te komen om in de vrijheid te kunnen komen,<br />
Zorgt voor antwoord en oplossing. (te maken heeft met sterk aan de dood doet denken, beelden van Ars patiënten, tibetaanse meditaties met<br />
stervenden, energie opgespaard door kou om transformatie te maken, nodig is dat voor mensen sterven beschuldigen de omgeving om vrij te<br />
kunnen komen)<br />
Doodmakend – op zij zetten. Dat is de doorgang door de dood, kou nodig om in stilte te komen<br />
Droogte gevoel – zelfs pijnlijk<br />
Dr Zhivago<br />
Diepe grote liefde met voortkomen uit het kou, kou nodig om daarin te komen<br />
Kou bloeit en kracht ontwikkeling, door kou heen en winterslaap<br />
Energie opbouw nodig om naar buiten toe te komen<br />
Fenomeen natuur zich terugtrekt in de winter – een aantal bomen en planten nodig om te kunnen groeien. Dat was het gevoel.<br />
SE dat het doorgegaan moet worden. Verder tritureren naar C5.<br />
Sterk idee van verstillend zijn.<br />
Afgevraagd hoe kom ik er bij?<br />
Prover 16<br />
Ik zag jou 18? in die sfeer zitten, in het wit spiritueel. Heel leuk gewoon.<br />
Stil en krachtig en rustig<br />
Winter vlakte<br />
Zorgeloos, dankbaar, stil en rust<br />
Alize resoneert met 17, 7 en 2 voor mijn gevoel is het hetzelfde.<br />
Niet met 18<br />
Prover 17<br />
Diepe onverschilligheid<br />
Doet me helemaal niets<br />
Ik reed hier naar toe, voor mij sliep<br />
Ik wist niet wat ik moest doen, auto op cruise controle<br />
ABS in werking, op vluchtbaan geweest.<br />
Ik zag auto’s volop rennen en ik wist niet meer wat ik moest doen<br />
Met beide benen remmen zoeken, anders ben ik dood.<br />
Paar seconden maar.<br />
Ik heb mijn auto bedankt<br />
Stikaanvallen weer gehad, week of 8 niet gehad<br />
Dit middel wil ik helemaal niet meer. Klep verkeerd. Ik verslik me overdag.<br />
Kom hier binnen, voel meteen heel veel bij Irene. Weet niet of ik haar mag storen.<br />
Begin met stof<br />
Slaat op mijn keel<br />
Ik wil niet stikken. Ik wil niet dood<br />
Ik wil leven , enorm verdriet<br />
Enorme pijn in linker rib en dan rechts<br />
Steken alsof longen protesteren<br />
HP rechter oog en dan naar links en dan voorhoofd<br />
Niets doet me iets<br />
Alles zit vast in mij<br />
Er is geen beweging<br />
Wat doe ik hier?<br />
Er is niets, er is niets.<br />
Verschrompelde huid,<br />
Geen leven, mummie soort<br />
Gedroogd<br />
Ik wil niets doen alleen maar heen en weer<br />
143
SE Borst groeien en zwellen<br />
Ik voel bijna nooit bij mannen aantrekkingskracht ontzettend onttrekking kracht in<br />
Hij triggert het geile in mij<br />
Overgangsfase, SE golfpatroon<br />
Bevroren van binnen<br />
Afgelopen weken zo vrij en onbezorgd dat het bijna levensgevaarlijk<br />
Bijna geschept door grafmachine<br />
Warmte naar mijn hoofd<br />
Ik kan genezen met mijn handen, was weg<br />
Hitte in hoofd en gezicht ook<br />
Bewust – wel genoeg doe en ben voor omgeving?<br />
Ik wil niemand te kort doen<br />
Ik voel me heel verdrietig<br />
Toekomst beeld – ik mag in de toekomst kijken<br />
Ontroert mij enorm.<br />
Daarna allemaal patiënten die ik niet heb kunnen helpen, voorbij komen<br />
Knikken en zwaaien naar mij alsof het ok is. Ik heb genoeg gegeven.<br />
Schrappen en verwarring, alles laten vallen geen zin om dingen vast te houden<br />
Heel erg moe<br />
Ik heb Torticollis naar links, iedereen zit scheef naar links. Voor kinderen met KISS syndroom. Alleen Gert zat recht.<br />
Dan in verdriet, ik wil rust en ik wil niets meer doen<br />
SE alsof ik vast zit, kan niet in andere beweging (KISS) – vastzitten<br />
Geen zin meer<br />
Ik wil slapen<br />
Voor gevoel huil ik<br />
Ik wil slapen en ik wil niets meer<br />
Ik wil niet meer<br />
Geen connectie met omgeving<br />
Prima alleen<br />
Afgesloten ruimte zit ik<br />
Bij bewustwording = kokhalzen<br />
En nu is het afgelopen<br />
En dan: ik wil nog steeds niet dood<br />
En nou moet ik er doorheen<br />
Driftig draaien<br />
Ik moet doorzetten om te kunnen leven.<br />
Enorm bewust van geen tijd.<br />
Prover 18<br />
Ook iets met Egypte gehad<br />
Vanochtend HP links voorhoofd<br />
2 dagen gelden gedroomd door slang, heel dun, stop in een zak en slang bijt, laat vallen<br />
gaat weg, kinderen de trappen oplopen en gebeten worden maar ze voelen dat niet.<br />
Op weg hier naar toe. 3 mannen een soort seksuele energie, gesprekken op de fiets,<br />
Flirten, met de lente te maken?<br />
Hoe lang ben jij? 2-3 meter, vrouw zat er naast. Heel grappig!<br />
Op eens in een tempel waar handen werden geofferd, offeren van het mannelijke ten gunste kracht de vrouw, sterven maar alleen de kleine<br />
dood = orgasme van de man.<br />
SE van gebruik, voorwerp om tot het hogere te komen = spirituele. Orgastische energie, spirituele bewust gaan van beneden naar boven. Als<br />
soort drug, werkt in je geest.<br />
En dan kruinchakra verruiming. Dat is die explosie ook. = druk in hoofd. Druk moet eruit. Energie opgeslagen.<br />
Wrijven heel fijn een soort opbouw energie in mij lijf, kwam van benen.<br />
Inwijdingsritueel.<br />
OBS: Heel veel lachen in de zaal<br />
De kleine dood – 3 dagen in sarcofaag. Inleiders dood.<br />
Verkeerde orakel meegenomen Ik had Godinnen kaart moeten meenemen. Heel veel met priesteressen en Godinnen.<br />
Sterke vrouwen, vrouwen met veel kracht.<br />
Hij is dienend in het vrouwelijke principe. Gert enige man.<br />
Beeldvorming – ritueel met vrouwen, een kring energie vanuit de grond door lichaam heen, schoot van beneden naar boven.<br />
Waanzinnige power.<br />
C5 moeten maken, vanuit derde oog heel ruimte.<br />
Veels te kort.<br />
Geen HP meer.<br />
Kleuren? Paars en blauw<br />
In een wit gewaad met gouden band omhoog.<br />
Prover 20<br />
Bijna alles wat prover 15 heeft<br />
Droge mond<br />
Heel moe<br />
Iets met oordeel weet niet wat, schuld aan de andere geven (Alize) het is zo zwaar dat je dan zelf wel door kunt gaan. Eerst negatief<br />
beoordelen en daarna iets moois uit, het kan ook ok zijn. Deze manier van denken volstrekt nieuw voor mij. Waarneming was het eigenlijk.<br />
Schuld is dus nodig, als uitweg, ergens uit komen. En ook nog bedenken dat het een oplossing kan zijn. Andere is ervaring van koud en<br />
doorgang. En transformatie die nodig hebt om te verkouden om alle krachten te verzamelen om te groeien, begin trituratie: waar zal dit toe<br />
leiden? Kou en eenzaamheid. Noordelijke landen, altijd koud, zag ik. Niets met Egypte te maken. Tegenpool (Vanessa).<br />
Dementie, verstervend, dood van eigen vader<br />
144
Mager en botten<br />
Zo moe en hongerig, ben ik ziek?<br />
C5 Trituratie 1 April 2005<br />
Prover 2<br />
Irritatie<br />
Geen zin<br />
Alize opmerking –dubbel nog geïrriteerde en een soort vrolijkheid<br />
Stom gedoe dit, dacht ik<br />
Zie je wel, ik had het niet moeten doen terwijl ik geen zin in<br />
Het is hier echt niet serieus<br />
Ontzettende boosheid<br />
Ik gooi dat ding uit het raam<br />
Super belachelijk<br />
Geen zin meer dan<br />
Veel plezier om Gert en zijn geschrapt<br />
Bleekwater<br />
Sloom gevoel in mond<br />
Er veranderd niets aan als ik er wel mee of niet mee doe<br />
Pijn rechter oor<br />
Misselijkheid < door draaien (wrijven) en er ook niet nakijken<br />
Geluid vervelend<br />
Ik ben blij dat het over is!<br />
Prover 3<br />
Niet meegedaan aan de trituratie. Weerstand. En niet van mijn gevoel af willen. Bij mijzelf blijven.<br />
Prover 5<br />
Duidelijk behoefte aan concentratie<br />
Tijd<br />
Verdriet en vreugde door elkaar, blijdschap<br />
Linker long borst/hart hoogte – soort knagende<br />
Sterke behoefte vijzel tegen aan te houden<br />
Transpiratie<br />
Zoete smaak achter in keel<br />
Branden de gevoel voeten<br />
Niet verbonden met substantie als vorige keer<br />
...<br />
Verstoringeenheid op<br />
Zuidpool<br />
Zee, ruimte<br />
Fijn voor anderen maar het hoeft niet<br />
Irritatie en SE verontwaardiging<br />
Knagende pijn rug rechts naar links<br />
Knagende pijn rondom hart<br />
Spierpijn mn schouderbladen<br />
Ongeduldig erbij<br />
....<br />
Niet aan de stof gehecht<br />
Wazig zien<br />
Prover 6<br />
Joligheid gevoel dat het zo kan omslaan en dan niet leuk (Vanessa)<br />
Voelde heel erg alsof groep uit elkaar getrokken werd, als jullie weggaan, dan voor eigen tijd zorgen eigen verantwoordelijkheid<br />
Toen jullie terug kwamen over, dan groep weer bij elkaar<br />
Ik zie allemaal doornroosjes, jullie waren er niet meer, jullie zaten in dromenland<br />
Iedereen volkomen weg Obs Gert<br />
Energie werkt anders op mannen of vrouwen. Iets met seksualiteit te maken.<br />
SE van verantwoordelijkheid maar sterk voor het hier en nu<br />
Prover 7<br />
Blij en opgewonden<br />
En tegelijk obstinaat<br />
Wij kunnen net zo goed met elkaar koken, het gaat om het doen<br />
Hard lachen Nanny en ik dacht dit is een leuk middel, Nanny nooit zo zien doen<br />
Wilde naar buiten maar niemand houdt dan de tijd bij.<br />
Ik voelde wat verzet, mooi werd met elkaar het maakte me bang<br />
Fijn gevoel en straks is dat weer weg<br />
Verbondenheid met elkaar prettig<br />
Maakte me bang omdat het onvoorspelbaar is<br />
Gevoel dat het zo kan draaien<br />
Ik wist niet dat het vrijdag was<br />
Vis dag<br />
Onzin komt uit geloof en ik heb er niets mee<br />
Goede vrijdag verhaal..<br />
145
Hoorde iedereen stampen en dat was wel fijn, iedereen bezig met een bepaald ritueel<br />
SE straks gaat geest opstijgen, ramen moeten open<br />
Buddha, rituelen<br />
Voelde heel licht<br />
Het individuele doet er niet meer toe<br />
Het viel me op dat iedereen heen en weer lopen<br />
Iedereen zo bezig met de tijd<br />
Prover 8<br />
Verantwoordelijkheid als plicht staan<br />
Er boven kijken, het gouden van bovenaf<br />
Moeilijk om het licht te krijgen, waardoor voor mij donker en geïsoleerd aanvoelde omdat ik er niet goed in kon kijken<br />
Afgeleid door chloor geur (Clara sterk water)<br />
Tijdloos gevoel<br />
Pikte gedachten op, helder moment<br />
Voelde heel helder<br />
Vorige keer – sterke helderheid gevoeld in mijzelf<br />
Observerende helderheid<br />
IJspegels terechtkomen<br />
Prover 9<br />
Lichtheid<br />
Heerlijk om mee te resoneren<br />
Uitbundigheid<br />
Prettig als vrijblijvendheid = vrijheid je niet belemmerd voelen<br />
Totaal onbezorgd<br />
Heel erg lachen<br />
Het slaat dan om als ik een beeld van droom zie, afgelopen nacht<br />
Noordzee<br />
Jong Anima deel van vermoord wordt, invulling van mijzelf<br />
Jong vrouwelijke wordt in de kin gesmoord, dat beeld houdt op<br />
Moeite om het serieus te nemen, ook wat ik hier doe en de homeopathie serieus te nemen. Als ik dit zomaar kan doen = twijfel over<br />
homeopathie<br />
Overgelaten gevoel aan het lot<br />
Derde oog in het midden van substantie schaduw patronen te maken met adelaar, schaduwmakers<br />
Prikkeling in neus – substantie in via de neus?<br />
Licht-donker<br />
Leven in het paradoxe, juist steeds belangrijk om dat te mogen voelen en een keuze te mogen maken<br />
Prover 11<br />
Flauw gevoel vond ik het<br />
Adelaar kwam van de videocasus<br />
Bij de vrouw overzicht<br />
Los willen zijn van alles<br />
Gewoon vrij maar los<br />
Erg warrig<br />
Reuzen – alle soorten en maten<br />
Bergtoppen- echt de top van de bergen<br />
Het hart als orgaan als symbool<br />
Heen en weer geslingerd, of heel erg mooi of verdwaasd?<br />
Boom is vlammenzee staan, elke boom in een kleur<br />
Lichaam alles samentrekken, gevoel<br />
Verkrampen<br />
Alles in lichaam werd klein<br />
Bovenkant van het hoofd had ik niet meer, er was alleen energie, bewoog omhoog?<br />
Weer een reus, die keek op de aarde neer, was aan het vijzelen en die maakte de sterren<br />
Dubbel – ga je daar niet te ver in? Zei tegen mijzelf<br />
Verantwoordelijk voelen voor alles, maar vooral voor de aarde<br />
Letterlijk moeder aarde, milieu (Alize ook)<br />
Verantwoordelijke met mijn hele geest, allemaal verantwoordelijk<br />
Over verleiding maar niet met lust erbij of uiterlijk<br />
SE verleidelijkheid zonder lust, zacht, mooi en universeel<br />
Beeld giraf, ogen van een giraf<br />
Sneeuw, eskimo’s<br />
Verantwoordelijkheid welzijn van de aarde<br />
Visoen over de toekomst, hoe het zou gaan met mij en de zaak<br />
Het ging allemaal over begrip.<br />
Toekomst – horkaan, tornado in Amerika vanuit India?<br />
Ik voel me heel anders als de vorige keer maar wel heel verantwoordelijk,<br />
Deze verantwoordelijkheid ga ik niet meer kwijt raken (Vanessa een van de trituraties – mijn leven is voorgoed veranderd)<br />
Prover 13<br />
Begin wakker zin plezier te maken<br />
Naar buiten heerlijk, zalig<br />
Nu wil leven veranderen radicaal maar weet niet waar te beginnen<br />
146
7 minuten duurde heel kort<br />
Verdriet SE druk op hart?<br />
...<br />
Hoe kan ik het toch goed maken?<br />
Dit na de dood is, gevoel<br />
Teleurstelling<br />
....<br />
Nu nog niet weg, zit er nog in<br />
Prover 15<br />
Hetzelfde gevoel<br />
Dubbele emoties wel niet wel niet<br />
Vorige keer hoefde niet en de rest zo overtuigd van wel<br />
Merkwaardig dat mensen weg zijn van wat ze volovertuiging wilden.<br />
Tegengestelde emoties<br />
Tegengestelde van Alumina casus (die daarvoor bekeken werd)<br />
Ineens heel stil – alsof verdieping lager:<br />
Om iets te bereiken moet je door weerstand heen angst is...<br />
Zo verschrikkelijk vervelend ineens kwam ik weer terecht in tegenstelling waardoor oorlog is ontstaan:<br />
Wij moeten begrijpen dat tegenstelling niet is, als tegenstelling meestelling is dan worden we eens gered...<br />
Wond is heel groot, hier kan ik er niet uit komen<br />
Hopeloos gevoel, terug naar 2 e trituratie<br />
Tegenstelling is niet groot maar lijkt groot<br />
Obstakel – Obstinaat = weerstand zit er ook in<br />
Naar buiten gegaan – naar binnen gaan zwaar voor mij<br />
Oplossing geloof in jezelf te hebben en dat te kunnen overstijgen<br />
Belast voelen met deze gegevens uit het verleden.<br />
Er zit veel meer in het middel<br />
Einde-transformatie<br />
Gevoel van willen overstijgen en samenkomen.<br />
Beelden van tegenstelling in de grote wereld. Persoon niveau te overstijgen is belangrijk<br />
Sterk gevoel van oorlog zijn. Vervelend om het hier te zeggen.<br />
Middel van Krijgers - eerste symbool getrokken door Jacqueline toen ze naar boven ging.<br />
Boosheid- waarom moeten we dat proces door om samen te zijn naar het hogere zijnsnivo te zijn. Ik ervaar die tegenstelling als wreedheid.<br />
Waarom kunnen we die stap niet overslaan?<br />
Een kinderlijk gevoel was dat! Het donkere overslaan.<br />
Moment niet willen dat te doorleven.<br />
Sterke tegenstelling in mij – heel lief en liefdevol naar omgeving en familie kan zijn en wreed naar de wereld zijn = alles met oorlog te<br />
maken. SE dom en vermoeiend, dat gevoel.<br />
Chloor heeft daarmee te maken. In Chloor gaat niets leven. Vulkaan – geuren waarin niets kan leven. Chloorlucht is dood. Dodelijke geur,<br />
leeft midden in de aarde.<br />
Doorroosje- sprookje tegenstellingen.<br />
Prover 18<br />
Licht en luchtig<br />
Speels<br />
Helderheid<br />
Ruimte in mijn denken<br />
Vrijheid<br />
Voelde verbinding met iedereen met gevoel vrij erin te bewegen<br />
Visoen – iedereen leuk lachen – Irene oude bekende<br />
Ontmoeting met totemdier<br />
Belangrijk contact te maken met oersymbolen<br />
Energie door lichaam stromen en tegelijk licht<br />
Dreamcatcher – je eigen droom opvangen in glaswater en dan opdrinken<br />
(Dreamcatcher houden slechte dromen tegen)<br />
Oersymbolen en dan naar boven – pakte er een lezen en dan onzin eigenlijk<br />
Je moet je eigen symbolen leren begrijpen en doorgronden, veel belangrijker.<br />
Antwoord ligt in de vraag – Ontsloten<br />
Prover 19<br />
Onraakbaar<br />
Geen gedachten niets<br />
Wel fijn<br />
Prover 20<br />
Heel ongeconcentreerd<br />
Zal de Paus wel/al dood zijn?<br />
147
Ik vond het niet leuk dat jullie weggingen naar buiten<br />
Ongeïnteresseerd in het middel<br />
Na tijdje kreeg ik iets meer maar het blijft een beetje vaag<br />
Een beetje misselijke<br />
Seksualiteit en spanning daar om heen<br />
Buikpijn en misselijk<br />
Rugpijn<br />
Thema DOOD – vaag iets met iemand prostaat kanker<br />
Seksualiteit<br />
Stel voor dat ze me komen halen omdat er iets gebeurd is thuis, hoe zal ik dan rijden<br />
Wat zou er dan gebeurd zijn?<br />
Alles te maken met DOOD<br />
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