2012 - 34th Street Magazine


2012 - 34th Street Magazine


constructive procrastination

candy shops and lollipops

first friday

February 2, 2012


violin maker Christopher

Germaine composes

works of mastery

highbrow ego food & drink feature music film arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


february 2

3 highbrow

the roundup, word on the

street, overheards,

tweet illustrated.

4 Ego

positive procrastination,

eotw shane humphrey.

6 FooD & DriNK

candy shop, diy lollipop, drink

of the week, just add this.

8 Film

upcoming cinema events,

big miracle review, van pick

of the week, meet a prof.

10 FEaturE

rittenhouse's violin maker


12 musiC

street genius, lana del

cray, review, leonard cohen

review, tycho interview, concerts

of the week.

14 arts

first friday, green chair

interview, top 5 blogs, van


18 lowbrow

top 10 ways to lose weight,

vagmons stats, groundhog


20 baCKpagE

penn cootie catcher.

34th Street Magazine

Elizabeth Horkley, Editor–in–Chief

Joe Pinsker, Managing Editor

Adrian Franco, Online Managing Editor

Hilary Miller, Design Editor

Chloe Bower, Design Editor

Sarah Tse, photo Editor

Laura Francis, asst. photo Editor

Zeke Sexauer, Associate Design Editor

Paige Rubin, Highbrow

Zacchiaus Mckee, Highbrow

Faryn Pearl, Ego

Ali Jaffe, Ego

Tucker Johns, Food & Drink



Drew's secret

whale fetish.


Tycho BROhe.

Nina Wolpow, Food & Drink

Colette Bloom, Feature

Leah Steinberg, Feature

Sam Brodey, Music

Frida Garza, Music

Daniel Felsenthal, Film

Alex Hosenball, Film

Ellie Levitt, Arts

Megan Ruben, Arts

Anthony Khaykin, Lowbrow

Sandra Rubinchik, Lowbrow

Alexa Nicolas, Backpage

Lauren Reed–Guy, Copy

Ben Lerner, Copy

Patrick Del Valle, Copy


If you’ve noticed this block of

text’s absence in the last few

weeks, congratulations — you’re

the reason it’s returned, and it’s nice

to meet you.

At the risk of getting all sentimental

and shit after we’ve just met —

I’m touched. We came in with big

ideas to shake things up — to harken

back to Street’s origins as a countercultural

alternative magazine. The

issue of relevance came up — how

long could we keep you interested if

we never changed our style? One of

the first things to go was this letter.

But, as this week’s feature on a dedicated

craftsmen will persuade you,

new methods don’t always equal better

quality. Yes, the revamped Page 2

looks a little more like the ones you

would peruse in Barnes & Noble

between classes — but those weren’t

written by people you’ve worked on

"To make violins the

way Germain does,

patience is a must."


Inna Kofman, Online Editor

Patrick Ford–Matz, Online Editor

Elena Gooray, Online Editor

Katie Giarla, Online Editor

Cover Photo: Sarah TSe

Contributors: Benjamin Parry, Jaycee Gruszecki, Jack

Nessman, Samantha Apfel, Lin Zheng, Kensey Berry, Julie



group projects with, or who were on

your freshman hall. We’ve cleaned

up your vomit, hooked up with you,

bought you cheap–ass gifts from Urban

— that signature, no matter how

many times it’s reproduced, reminds

you of that. This is why we’ve decided

to revive this letter, an old but

indispensable tradition.

If I were a drink, I would be an

Old Fashioned. I still write in cursive,

like they taught me to in the

second grade. I can’t check my email

on my phone. I wanted to handwrite

this letter to you, or print it on papyrus

and float it down the Nile in your


But let’s not get carried away,

Lana Del Rey,


¡Come check out our worldly music tastes, which includes

a partiality to Gloria Estefan and Mambo No. 5!



6:30 P.M.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine:

If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to

the editor, email elizabeth horkley, editor-–in–Chief, at

horkley@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 898-6585.

to place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.

ViSiT our web SiTe: www.34st.com

"I made my sister waterboard me one time."

"Tame the dragon."

©2012 34th Street Magazine, the Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc.

No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express,

written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the

a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published

by the Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia,

Pa., 19104, every thursday.



Do you tweet with abandon? On the toilet? Drunk? Think no one notices?

Think again. Highbrow’s listening, nominating you for Tweet of the Week

and, starting now, immortalizing the winners on the pages of Street.


It feels like spring, doesn't it? It's hot as hell outside, the Tabard babies

have swapped their normal wardrobes for a lovely shade of green and random

pseudo–hippies who probably should have gone to Brown are playing

frisbee golf on College Green. Spring has sprung!

Giving us further proof that spring has come early, the Tabard girls decided

to execute one of their pledging traditions a bit too soon. Thinking

that Groundhog Day was yesterday, the pledges sported furry ensembles

and popped out of the holes in the button declaring that winter would be

over soon. They quickly realized that the holiday is today and scurried home.

Today you can check them out every hour on the hour, dressed as furry creatures,

declaring it Groundhog Day. Enjoy.

Theta girls had to dress up too, but not in their normal garb. Normally

pledging requires that they wear all black for weeks on end, but, as they put

it, "black means secrecy." Because they haven't kept quiet about their pledging,

Highbrow hears the girls have been ordered to wear all white, all day,

and yes, that includes at nighttime when they head downtown.

But wait, there's more! When a few pledges asked to skip pledging to go

home for the weekend, their pledgemasters allowed it, but not without consequences.

The pledges were asked to document their trip by taking planking

photos everywhere they went. Isn't planking over yet?

But why let Tabard and Theta have all the fun? Our sources tell us Tridelt

had a few cute outfits for their newest class. The stories are true: Tridelt lets

you be you, as long as you're a an avid Johnny Depp fan. The youngest girls

were told to dress as Edward Scissorhands for their bid day party last night,

with only a few hours to find a suitable costume. Don't worry, girls, we're

sure you'll end up looking sharp.

Highbrow spotted a group of lost Wharton souls leaving the Inn at Penn

on Monday. But they weren't lost because they think a job in i–banking will

bring them happiness; we label them as such because their precious Penn-

Link told them of a "night–before" Goldman Sachs info session for "interviewees

only." When the Wall Street hopefuls showed up, there was no such

meeting and the poor OCR people had to walk home, sullen and in business

formalwear. Cry us a river.

@whartongay: I feel like a queen

whenever I walk down the main

Huntsman Hall stairs to the

Baker Forum… all eyes on me,

plebeians. #whartongay


heard at


Freshman at Commons:

I didn’t want,

like, a big salad, but I’m

going to get a big salad,

you know?

Guy in Chem building:

Why can’t the first

rule of thermodynamics

be to not talk about


Vagelos scholar: I

would give up my

leftist, liberal, bleeding–

heart crap for a job at

Goldman in a heartbeat.

Girl in Houston Hall:

My Blackberry is so

ghetto, the camera

doesn’t even have a


SDT girl to ZBT guy:

He’s actually a really

great guy… he’s just




By ElEna gooray

They’re only three little words, but they

can say a lot. I’m not talking about “I

love you,” or “Who’s your TA?” or anything

else with such obvious (and earth–shattering)

meaning. I’m referring to the insidious little

phrase, “I have to.”

I say it, you probably say it — it peppers conversations

like a pronoun. “I have to go to a meeting”;

“I have to do an interview”; the list goes on

and on. And on the surface, it may just seem like

a normal way to talk about all the things we in

the Penn community do. But recently I’ve been

wondering what it means when I or anyone else

instinctively describe daily plans as a set of miniature

burdens, of tasks we apparently are compelled

to do.

For one thing, I think it’s safe to say that sometimes

we like to sound weighed–down by demands

because it makes us feel important. Whether it’s

out of insecurity in a competitive environment

or other pressures, whether it’s conscious or not,

lots of Penn students talk themselves up. Therein

lies the appeal of a phrase like “I have to,” which

turns a night out to a BYO with a box of Franzia

and some kids you did a summer program

with into an obligation that hints at the range of

people you know here, or the resume–building

you’ve done. “Oh, I’m going to be late tonight

because I have to get dinner with people from

my summer research internship.” Suddenly, it

almost sounds classy.

To be fair, “I have to” also gets tacked onto

more pressing commitments, such as exams

that require cramming, job hours that need to

be logged and concrete student group activities

that need to be managed. I’m not denying that

our responsibilities can be stressful, and it is perfectly

normal, if not healthy, to vent. Even so,

lately I’ve had to ask myself: what awful monster

is making me do anything? Who volunteered me

for these clubs? Who decided to spend hours on

Skype instead of studying, so now I “have to”

plant myself in Fisher next to a bunch of people

who appear to be staring into the face of death?

Is there some invisible hand that cares enough

about my life to bind me by blood oath to iCal?

The answer is, there isn’t. At the end of the

day, too many of the responsibilities I complain

about are ones I signed up for. And (nearly) every

time I slip in an “I have to,” I’m basically denying

ownership of my choices. Not so classy.

So, one of my goals this spring is to cut down

on the term and think of a better semi–catch

phrase (preferably one more inspired than “show

me the money”). I just can’t work on it tonight—

there’s somewhere I really have to be.

highbrow ego film feature music food & drink arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow




Worst news alert! You have a research paper for your history class. Procrastination is inevitable, so you might

as well try to make the most of it. Here are two alternate paths your procrastination can take — it's up to you.

Path 1: Positive procrastination. This will

be the most productive time you'll ever


Clean your room. How can you

expect to work in this explosion

of empty water bottles, crumpled

homework assignments and a lot

of miscellaneous shit? Clear the

clutter and you’ll be feng shui'ed.

Go to Trader Joe’s. Sure it’s a trek and you

lose two hours of possible working time. But

let’s be real: you weren’t going to be working

then anyway. Stocking up on healthy

snacks is a proactive measure to prevent junk

food munching at three in the morning when

you’re finally writing that paper.

Exercise. Working out is a great way to

relieve any stress you feel over the paper

by decreasing the amount of cortisol in

your body, as well as increasing endorphins

to give you a natural high. Plus,

your butt is going to look fantastic.

Do laundry. It’s so effortless (well, minus lugging

the 40 pounds of your dirty clothes that

have accumulated over the past month) yet doing

it makes you feel so productive and satisfied.

Especially when you're not being productive in

any other way.

Time to Start Your Paper

Create a playlist. Everyone knows

that a good paper is the product of a

carefully constructed Spotify playlist.

It’s worth taking the time to make the

playlist perfect. This is the soundtrack

to the next five hours of your life and

you need to be in just the right state

of mind for this paper to be anything

besides crap.

Find a place to work that feels right. This

can mean walking through the basement of VP

then checking out each floor upstairs, deciding

VP isn’t right after all and trying Fisher Fine

Arts, where it’s too damn quiet. When you

finally get settled at Saxby’s and it feels just

right, all that aimless wandering was worth it.


Ease yourself into the topic. Writing

about George Washington?

Watch some wannabe comedian rap

about him instead. The joke–to–

fact ratio may be low, but it’ll likely

have a surprising amount of lasting


Power nap. Hitting the hay may not

seem like the most productive use of your

time, but sometimes that's what it takes

to rev up the energy to work. Of course

it's kind of crucial that you wake up

when your alarm chirps 30 minutes later.

We suggest multiple alarms strategically

placed further than an arm's reach from

your bed.

Path 2: Dick around. Those videos

of camels running may seem funny

now, but in eight hours the only

feeling you’ll have is one of regret.

Ego of the week:


This former Station Manager of WQHS just handed over the reins, but he’s still a boss in the classroom as a

Management TA. And look out, he just might be the next winner of The Amazing Race.

Street: What is the #1 most–

played song on your iPod?

Shane Humphrey: I don’t

own an iPod. I’ve never bought

an Apple product 'cause I’m

just that hip.

Street: What song plays as

you walk into a room?

SH: If I was going into a

wrestling arena I’d probably

want something that would

pump me up like “Wake Up”

by Arcade Fire.

Street: If you got a tattoo

what would it be?

SH: I’ve always asked myself

this question and I think what

I would do is…well, so I’ve got

an identical twin brother whose

got a tattoo. He has some nice

Japanese characters. So I’d

probably do something in Chinese,

the same thing, slightly

different but the same thing.

Street: Do you guys have a

hummus grill

feast special

feeds 25

for only $199

place orders in advance of your event

offer available exclusively online

twin language?

SH: We never did. We’re like

the worst twins. People would

always do that thing where they

ask you, “You think of a number,

you think of a number.

What number is he thinking

of?” And so we’d always just

say two.

Street: Which do you hate

more: writing an essay or

studying for a test?

SH: Definitely studying for a

test because I feel like when I’m

studying for a test I feel like I

need to be super focused. But

when I’m writing an essay I’m

usually drinking so it’s kind

of drink a little, hang out, put

some words on the page.

Street: What lengths would

you go to to avoid studying

for your test?

SH: Once I went to New York

to avoid studying for a test. It

didn’t work out very well.

Street: If you could go on

a game show, what show

would it be?

SH: Me and my older sister

actually made half of a video

to go on The Amazing Race.

Unfortunately we didn’t finish

it because we realized we were

way too drunk and coming off

as complete assholes.

Street: What would be your


SH: I think my strategy is kind

of using my sister, since she’s

really tall and lanky. She’d do

all the athletic stuff and then

she also doesn’t mind eating

gross stuff so she’d do all that.

I’d like to think I’d look good

on a camera. So I’m just there

to make sure we get on the

show and then she’d just rock


Street: If you were in a band,

what would it be called?

SH: When I was in high

school my identical twin

brother had a death

metal band and they

called themselves Deus

Ex Magina, which

is very death

metal of them.

I think now

I’d be Deus X

and we’d be

a post–death

metal band.

Street: How

would you bring

your chamber

music experience

into that?

SH: I actually have

an electric violin at

home, which is like

so nerdy of me. But

I would totally take

that and amp up

the distortion and

growl all on the

G–string. Kind of rock out on

the violin.

Street: Can I just say how

sexual “growl all on the

G–string” sounds?

SH: I don’t really know

how to respond.

Street: What

would be your DJ

name if you had


SH: Probably be

something related

to Minnesota. DJ Hot


Street: Serving up the


SH: Hot and fresh,

every Wednesday


3931 Walnut Street Philadelphia

215-222-5300 | www.hummusrestaurant.com

make it a feast! make it a success!

includes: falafel, hummus, pita, Moroccan cigars

mixed meat, rice, Israeli & cabbage salads

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow




Eric and Ryan Berley put a new spin on an old Philly fave

By NiNa wolPow aNd tuckER johNs | Photos By saRah tsE

News flash: you have fewer than two

weeks till Valentine's Day. We’ll be hitting

you up next week with a guide to the big

night, but for those of you who like to plan

ahead, Old City’s recently–revamped Shane

Confectionery is where you want to stock

up on your sweets.

Just a few months ago the Berley brothers

reopened Shane Confectionery —

the sweeter sister of Franklin Fountain

— bringing locally–sourced ingredients

(hence the high prices) and a newfound

attention to detail to Shane's already–

loved chocolate creations. Best in show

are Shane’s blends of sweet and salty: the

chocolate–covered bacon ($3.50 per strip)

has been one of the shop’s biggest hits and

the salted caramels ($1.50), both milk and

dark, are among the best in the city.

Terrapins ($2), in milk and dark chocolate

and laced with cashews and pecans, are

chewy, subtly sweet nuggets of nuts and

caramel. Truffles, like Shane’s hazelnut

($1.50), are dense drops of dark chocolate

accented with nuttiness.

Buttercreams ($1), the specialty of the

original incarnation of Shane, are still remarkable

— the rich blend of coffee and

dark chocolate stole our hearts. Also excellent

were the homemade marshmallows

($1). Enrobed in dark chocolate, these are

not as sickeningly sweet as the supermarket

variety. We like that.

And if you can’t ditch the Valentine's

Day kitsch, Shane has begun taking orders

for chocolate–covered strawberries — just

give them a few days’ warning.


How to get sugar high at home



1 cup white sugar

½ cup light corn syrup

¼ cup water

1 tsp. flavor extract

food coloring (optional)

coffee stirrers

1. Cover two cutting boards with aluminum foil. Spray with

nonstick cooking spray.

2. In a saucepan, combine the sugar, corn syrup and water.

Stir over medium–high heat until the sugar dissolves.

3. Insert your candy thermometer into the sugar mixture and

let boil until 300°. Say what? You DON’T own a candy thermometer!?

Fret not — you can use the “cold water test.” Let

the mixture boil down and thicken for about eight minutes.

With a spoon, drizzle a little of the mixture into a cup of cold

water. If it forms thin, brittle strings, it’s ready.

4. Remove the mixture from the heat and add the food coloring

and flavoring. Mix well.

5. Using a spoon, pour dollops of the mixture onto the prepared

cutting boards. Press a coffee stirrer into the center of

each dollop (you may want to twirl the stirrer to ensure it’s

completely covered).

6. Let cool and enjoy the sweet treat!



Jolly Juice

(and lots of it)

What you need:

30 Jolly Ranchers (pick one flavor)

4 cups Vodka (Svedka works best)

Place all candies in a large container (like Tupperware).

Pour vodka over Jolly Ranchers until they are totally submerged.

Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours.

Upon removal, shake well and strain into shot glasses.

Serve chilled.



We caught up with College senior Shreyans Goenka, the founder

and president of the Penn Gastronomy Club, which this

past fall held its second annual student dessert competition.

Shreyans filled us in on his favorite Philly dessert, dreamed

up his ultimate candy bar and told us which candy

he dreads getting on Halloween. For the interview,

check out 34st.com.



And you thought salt was

just for savory.

New Kidz On the Block



Every Day

Free bang trims

for ladies

Free neck cleanups

for gentlemen

Take scoops of Ben &

Jerry’s to go (Karamel Sutra or

Dulce Delish are probably best)

Add a few pinches (or more, if you’re a fan)

of sea salt

It's like a salted caramel you eat with a spoon.








Tuesday & Thursday

1/2 off cutz

Regular Price $25

Expires 12/31


3426 Sansom St. Philadelphia, PA 19104 215.387.8981


highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow





The Penn film community has a rich program of free(!) events lined up every year, but

unfortunately it’s hidden behind a Google search that few perform. Let Street guide you

through some of the events that may (or may not) interest you, including Cuban exports,


Twenty–nine Pictures Like That: The Elvis Movie (A Talk with David E. James)

February 3, Fisher–Bennett 231, 3340 Walnut St, 5:00 p.m.

The King is alive and quite well. Or at least in the mind of David E. James, who arrives at Penn

on Friday to discuss the film career of the great Elvis Presley. James, a professor at the University

of Southern California, has been published extensively and has had his own films shown at

the Whitney in New York. Among other subjects, his academic work has shined a light on the

connection between film and music, so the talk should be well–informed. And for those of you

who don’t care about rock 'n' roll before the hippie generation, James will focus on the films

Elvis created after serving in the military in the early 1960s, when The Beatles were lighting up

Hamburg and Dylan was just another folkie in Greenwich Village.

Men Of Words

February 5, Rainey Auditorium in the Penn Museum, 3260 South St, 2:00 p.m.

The Penn Museum Film Series, which offers a slate of internationally–inclined documentaries,

kicks off on February 5 with Men With Words. Focusing on the heavily–politicized poetry scene

in Yemen, the film examines the contemporary tradition of “throw–downs” — for which writers

open up a charged discourse via cassette decks. This screening is coupled with a talk by Harvard

professor Steve Caton, whose career work has focused largely on Yemen. And this screening — as

with the entire Penn Museum Film Series — is free with admission to the museum (which, of

course, is free for Penn students).

Samson and Delilah and Sodom and Gomorrah: The Last Seven Days.

February 9, The Rotunda @ Penn, 4014 Walnut St, 8:00 p.m.

Get your Bible on at The Rotunda next Thursday for February’s installment of screenings

curated by Andrew Repasky McElhinney — part of a series called ARMcinema25. Up

this month is Cecil B. DeMille’s Samson and Delilah, an epic version of the biblical tale.

Afterwards, take the edge off and live a little with the comedic Sodom and Gomorrah: The

Last Seven Days, a biting take on the cities of sin. Other ARM screenings occur the second

Thursday of every month.

Memories of Underdevelopment

February 16, International House, 3701 Chestnut St, 7:00 p.m.

Cuba may not be the most mysterious country out there, but its culture and people still differ

drastically from the U.S.’s. Experience unique Cuban cinema every few weeks at IHouse,

beginning in February with Memories of Underdevelopment, a 1968 film detailing the crises of

Sergio, a bourgeois man in Cuba. The Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis shape this

national classic, which focuses on the island’s people in a time of great strife.


February 29, International House, 3701 Chestnut St, 7:00 p.m.

As one event in the Cinema Studies Department's series of roundtable discussions and free

screenings called Pleasures and Pitfalls of Film Adaptation, Penn professors Timothy Corrigan

and Carolyn Abbate and NYU professor Alexander Galloway discuss Spike Jonze's Adaptation.

If you're interested in other free screenings, check out some of the other events in the series,

which examines the relationship between original stories and their, well, adaptations.

Settling Down

March 4, Rainey Auditorium in the Penn Museum, 3260 South St, 2:00 p.m.

When was the last time you considered tying yourself down to one place? If you’re part of

the Penn Abroad community, perhaps never. Take a walk on the nomadic side with Settling

Down, a short documentary about a roving group of Irishmen known as the Travellers. The

film peeks into the lives of a small community in the city of Cork, examining the effects of

modernization and political changes within Ireland. Go to find out if the Travellers ever end

up settling down.

Though entertaining,

Big Miracle is a bit

less than miraculous

Big Miracle's stunningly

realistic whale puppets are

excellent fodder for beautiful

shots and an engaging action

dynamic. Unfortunately, it's

the movie's flawed human

storylines that lessen this effect.

John Krasinski is emotionally–weightless

as a reporter

who uses a whale sighting to

propel his career. Like most

of the other characters, he

seems less concerned with

protecting the whales than

appeasing an emotionally

unstable Drew Barrymore,

his ex–girlfriend and the

militant Greenpeace activist

responsible for the whale

rescue. The film’s neat romance

may be realistic, but

that doesn’t make the chemistry

any better. Characters

are flattened for the sake of

humor and convenience, and

the environmental themes

are also shaky. Despite these

problems, Big Miracle delivers

uplifting family entertainment.

If you don’t cry, Drew

Barrymore will hate you.

— Jack Nessman



Before he bared it all in

Shame, Michael Fassbender

proved he had star power

to spare in 2009’s BAFTA–

winning film Fish Tank. This

micro–indie has probably

been seen by about five people,

but Netflix Instant can

help remedy that. Learning a

bit about the flick will whet

your appetite and get your

mouse pads a–clickin’.

Newcomer Katie Jarvis

stars as 15–year–old Mia, a

rebel chick and street dancer

with sneers to spare. Director

Andrea Arnold depicts

a gritty, grim portrait of the

broken home she was raised

in, where the booze flows

freely but parental guidance

and compassion are hard to

come by.

Mia’s life is turned

upside–down when her mom

brings home handsome new

boyfriend Connor, played by

Fassbender. Mia and Connor

soon develop a relationship

that breaks all the rules while

constantly remaining real —

thanks to two grounded, fully

lived–in performances. The

film refuses to judge either

character, which is likely why

it is so unsettling; even when

Connor commits unspeakable

acts, Arnold simply sits

back and allows Fassbender’s

natural magnetism to pull us

in anyway.

— Samantha Apfel



Each week, we interview a Cinema Studies professor on their relationship with film. First

up is Christopher Donovan, sci–fi connoisseur and House Dean of Gregory. Be sure to

check 34st.com for the full interview. BY DaniEl FElSEntHal

Street: What originally

got you interested in


Christopher Donovan: I

can’t recall not being interested

in film. My favorite

childhood memory is

being maybe five or so, and

my father acting out the

last half–hour of Jaws with

my Fisher Price deep–sea

explorer set, with a cute

rubber dolphin contributing

an impressive change–

of–pace performance as

the killer shark.

Street: What do you think

will win Best Picture at the

Oscars? What do you think

deserves it?

CD: One has to assume that


you ever



Earth sober?


not nearly

as emotionallyengaging…


The Artist will take home

the trophy. I greatly prefer

Hugo, but if the choice is

between an American celebration

of the early days of

French cinema and a French

celebration of the early days

of American cinema, one

can hardly claim that the

Academy is tapping into the


Street: Last week we ran a

feature on the artistic potential

(or lack thereof) of

3D film technology. Where

do you stand on the issue?

Do you think a great 3D

film has been made yet,

and do you think there

will be one?

CD: I think Hugo makes

marvelous use of 3D technology…

while watching

the film, I was reminded

how many critics bemoaned

the advent of the sound era

and forecast the death of cin-


ema. I bet Scorsese remembers

this, too. That said, so

far 3D has been mostly a

blight, with the exception of

Hugo and Avatar and some

interesting documentaries

last year, such as Pina, about

modern dance, and Cave

of Forgotten Dreams, about

the Chauvet cave drawings.

As such, I would never see

3D as the norm, but rather

a tool to be employed both

when the subject calls for

it and when filmmakers are

legitimately inspired to conceptualize

their work in an

added dimension.

The Trustees’ Council of Penn Women (TCPW)

is pleased to announce its 2012-2013 Grants Program and

encourages members of the University community to apply.

Grants ranging between $1,000-$5,000 will be available to

individuals or organizations which promote:

• women’s issues

• the quality of undergraduate and graduate life for women

• the advancement of women

• the physical, emotional and psychological well-being of women

Favorable consideration will be given to projects that:

• affect a broad segment of the University population

• foster a greater awareness of women’s issues

• provide seed money for pilot programs that have the potential to

become ongoing self-supporting programs

To apply, visit the TCPW website at www.alumni.upenn.edu/groups/tcpw/ and download

the application from the TCPW Grant web page. Applications must be submitted no later

than February 13, 2012. Awards will be announced in the Spring of 2012 and funds will be

distributed in July/August 2012 for projects in the 2012-2013 academic year.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


It’s easy to forget that people make

things anymore. America’s cities are

filled with shuttered and rusting factories.

Its politicians speak of saving and

creating industrial jobs, using outdated

rhetoric that might be funny if it didn’t

hurt so much.

American industrialism is a fading

memory that casts a long shadow. Pre–

industrial artisanship is an even dimmer

epoch, the province of “living history”

setups like Colonial Williamsburg. But

there remain a few fields whose practitioners

approach making goods by hand as

neither educational gimmick nor countercultural

utopianism (a la the slow

food movement). Surely, people who

practice such anachronistic crafts must

be anachronistic people — like the man

who works, for instance, behind a sign

on Spruce Street that reads: “Christopher

Germain, Vio-

linmaker,” which brings to mind a man

wearing a powdered wig and breeches.

Christopher Germain doesn’t wear

a powdered wig. He favors faded Levis

over breeches, and he wears running

shoes each time we meet. With his soft

face and graying hair, he resembles a

middle–aged Paul McCartney. Located

near Rittenhouse Square, Germain’s

workshop occupies two rooms on the

first floor of a building that also houses

his living quarters. Along the left wall is

a case filled with a row of violins; along

the right wall is its counterpart, filled

with books (Stradivari’s Varnish, among

others). A rack of cellos sits in front of

this cabinet. With a marble fireplace and

a plush rug, the space brings to mind

Sherlock Holmes’s drawing room. A pair

of wood and glass doors open onto Germain’s

workshop, which is orderly but

not stuffy; work clearly takes

place here.

G e r m a i n ’ s

shop sports


Street takes you inside

the studio of Philly's

hardest–working violin


By jim santel | photos By sarah tse

edly little in the way of digital technology,

save for a computer, two printers, a

telephone and some speakers that are always

playing classical music. Everything

else works on the principle of a hand

applying force: chisels and planes and

brushes and awls. These are all Germain

needs. These, and his hands.

“The process has not changed all that

much in three or four hundred years,”

Germain says in his flat Midwestern

voice. “Compared to other professions,

where everything is completely changing

in a few years or months, violinmaking

is a very tradition–oriented craft, and although

there’s access to information that

was not available before, the actual way

the instrument is made is pretty much

the same.”

The information that Germain speaks

of is itself of a backwards bend; it refers

to new insights that technology has

provided into the methods used by the

violinmaking masters who worked in

Cremona, Italy in the 16th, 17th and

18th centuries, members of the families

Amati, Guarneri and Stradivari. Violin

enthusiasts tend to speak of these families

with the hushed reverence uttered

in the presence of the divine. From time

to time, a newspaper headline heralds

new revelations about “Stradivari’s

secret” as if it were King Tut’s


Germain does not participate

in the breathless

search for Stradivari’s


Asked about the

secret, Germain

responds with

a craftsman’s


passion. “I

don’t think

there was

a secret,”

he says.

“I think

t h e r e

were a

thousand secrets. It’s like saying if I had

the paint that Michelangelo used to produce

the Sistine Chapel, then I could do

that, too. Well, no. I couldn’t do that.

The secret is that these guys were geniuses

— they were working at the height of

their craft, there were many fine craftsmen

at that time, they were working in

close proximity, it was a very competitive

field and they were at the top of their

game, just like Beethoven or Mozart.

That’s really the secret, I think, not some

recipe that was long lost and is waiting to

be rediscovered.”

Talking to Germain, you get the sense

that the need for a mystical explanation

irks him a bit. And why wouldn’t

it? What to others may be a letdown or

a dull story is to Germain a way of life,

one that yields rewards and excitements

much greater than the conspiratorial

search for some superhuman additive in

the Cremonese makers’ method. It’s as if

mere genius were no longer compelling


It suffices for Germain, however, who

began his career nearly 30 years ago. Born

in St. Louis, he earned a degree in journalism

from the University of Missouri

in 1980. But by graduation day, Germain

had no intention of using his degree;

he had already decided to become a

violinmaker and completed a journalism

program to appease his parents. Germain

was drawn to violinmaking as a merging

of two early passions: music and making

things. “When I was young, I just loved

working with my hands, making stuff,”

Germain says, adding that he would

often spend time in his father’s home

workshop trying to make things from

scraps of wood.

After a brief money–saving interlude

at the St. Louis Post–Dispatch, Germain

headed to the newly–founded Chicago

School of Violinmaking.

After graduation, Germain worked

with two violin dealers in Chicago,

“learning a lot, but not making a lot of

“Fella says they’s fiddles four hundred years old, and they git

mellow like whiskey. Says they’ll cost fifty-sixty thousan’ dollars.”

-John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

money.” A degree in violinmaking does

not mean the end of training; for those

aspiring to the heights of the craft, an apprenticeship

is common. “If you’re going

to go into violinmaking it has to be

a strong desire. It’s so challenging, it’s so

difficult, it’s so hard to make a living for

a long time. It’s like being a starving artist,”

Germain says.

Germain started his own business in

Chicago in 1991, where he worked for six

years before relocating to the Washington,

D.C. area. A decade later, Germain

chose to come to Philadelphia, where he

opened his first real shop. Many violin

makers work in home workshops, but

Germain’s reputation had solidified to

the point where he thought “it was time

to be a little more visible.”

Hiding wouldn’t do Germain much

good. His Midwestern humility means

you have to pick up the threads here

and there, but it’s clear that Germain is

an eminent figure in the violinmaking

world. When I ask Germain’s apprentice,

a taciturn young man named Sam

with a voice that is somehow both high

and deep, how he found out about Germain,

he replies, “He’s famous.”

“Infamous,” Germain immediately

quips, a smile flickering across his face.

Germain’s prominence ultimately

derives from the quality his work. His

violins, violas and cellos are painstakingly

crafted in much the same way they

were centuries ago. Germain begins an

instrument with a pattern derived from

one of the Cremonese designs, which

provides an outline. Using a hot iron,

he bends a piece of wood to make the

instrument’s sides, or ribs. He cuts the

top and bottom pieces to fit this outline,

thus creating the violin’s body. The ribs,

the bottom and the neck are all typically

made from maple, while the top is usually

spruce, chosen for being light and

resonant but also strong.

The body will receive several coats of

varnish, made from pine or fossil resins,

giving it a rich amber glow. Since these

varnishes don’t dry by evaporation, Germain

places varnished instruments in an

ultraviolet box to accelerate the process,

so that he doesn’t have to rely on sunlight.

Germain is particularly well–known for

manipulating his instruments’ varnish

so that they look well–used, though he

doesn’t do this for all his instruments —

some of his customers prefer to break

them in on their own.

Between assembling the body and

varnishing and stringing it up, Germain

faces innumerable choices about carving,

cutting, chiseling, shaving and so on.

Only by experience, he says, does a violin

maker gain the intuition to navigate

these choices. By intuition, Germain

means the innate knowledge of the right

choice at each juncture of the assembly

process, earned through his 30 years of


Germain makes a compelling argument

for proceeding in this manner:

“[Other violinmakers] a lot of times feel

if they can measure everything, they can

produce the best instrument and I always

counter with the argument that back in

Stradivari’s day, he didn’t have any fancy

equipment. He just used his hands and

his ears and the wood and his tools, and I

think that that’s still the most successful

way to produce a good instrument. It’s

not to say that we can’t learn from technology,

but I didn’t get into it because of

my love of technology. It’s my love of a

traditional craft, and it’s one of the few

things that is still done in the same manner

today.” Since violinmaking is such a

delicate and complex process, each stage

accompanied by endless planing and

scraping to give the instrument exactly

the right shape, this intuition separates

the good from the great.

If his clients are any indicator, Germain

falls under the latter classification.

His instruments are in major symphonies

across the nation, including Philadelphia's

and Chicago's; he once made

a viola for a member of La Scala, the

renowned Milanese opera house. He recently

sold a violin to the concertmaster

of the Marine Corps Orchestra. Known

as “The President’s Own,” they provide

classical music at the White House. In

addition to these high–profile clients,

Germain’s instruments are popular

among all types of serious musicians, especially

conservatory students.

Germain’s violins sell for about

$20,000 and take about a month to complete,

meaning that his annual output is

fairly small. He could produce more, he

says, but repairs and restorations occupy

much of his time. Moreover, he enjoys

his small–batch approach. “If it was a

big output, it would be almost like a factory,”

he says.

Quality in a violin is difficult to define,

because the instruments change as

they age. “Most instruments as they’re

played more tend to open up and become

more resonant and just freer–

sounding, whereas an instrument that’s

just completed generally doesn’t sound

so good right away,” Germain says. A

violinmaker must be patient, because a

violin is never really finished, its sound

receding and reviving depending on how

often it is played. It’s not a process that

violin makers fully understand, and it’s

one of only two times in our conversations

that Germain reverts to a more

mystic sense of his craft. “There’s almost

like a magic there, it’s hard to explain a

lot of what’s involved,” he says.

The other time occurred during a

phone call Germain received from a

woman in Colorado, hoping to purchase

a violin for her young son. Germain repeatedly

encouraged her to come to Philadelphia,

emphasizing that her son needs

to try out a number of violins to figure

out which one suits him best. “I’m not

a very mystical person,” he says at one

point, “but there really is a magic there,

when you find the instrument you like.”

To make violins the way Germain

does, patience is a must. Not the patience

required to stand in a long Starbucks

line, mind you. The patience in

question is unceasing, not a virtue to call

upon but an element to breathe.

With a devotion to so many choices

that don’t register on the prevailing cultural

seismographs of value — money

and utility — patience may be Germain’s

version of Stradivari’s secret. One

afternoon, I watch Germain work on a

bridge, one of the smallest pieces of a

stringed instrument. It's one of the final

steps in the process. I expect the process

to take a few minutes, but as Germain

whittles and chisels and checks to see if

the bridge is flush to the near–completed

violin — a gorgeous instrument with an

amber finish so lively it seems to hum

— I begin to get fidgety. How long does

this usually take? I ask.

“Well, you want it to fit just right,”

Germain says. With the smile peeking

from the corners of his mouth, he adds:

“Of course, when you’re talking to someone,

it can take a little longer.”

Jim Santel is a College senior studying

English. He's originally from St. Louis.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow





Let me preface this review by noting

the grudge I hold against Lana Del

Ray for shaming SNL with the most

breathy, awkward, wince–inducing

performance I’ve seen since passing an

asthmatic homeless woman choking

out “At Last” in a New York subway

station. That said, Born To Die isn’t as

horrible as I wanted it to be. Sure, Del

Rey’s roofied Marilyn Monroe vocals

aren’t everybody’s cup of tea, but you

gotta admit, she creates a convincing world. Full of unrequited love and lofty, if

sometimes uncanny, orchestration, Born To Die’s universe is an enthralling one.

No one will ever agree on the “gangsta Nancy Sinatra,” but it looks like she’s

here to stay. Now someone teach that girl to lip sync.

— Patrick Ford-Matz



Leonard Cohen, the legendary

Canadian singer–songwriter, is

equally known for writing incredibly

emotional, moving songs and

for being totally unable to actually

sing them. On Old Ideas, he holds

true to both of these abilities. In

traditional Cohen fashion, this

collection addresses the motifs of

religion ("Hallelujah") and odes

to past and present lovers ("Bird

On a Wire") with as much lyrical

genius as ever. However, with

this said, his voice remains an insurmountable issue. It might be a good idea

to wait for the cover versions.

—Benjamin Parry

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

Who: The up–and–comers who brought you the ear candy “Heart Attack”

When: 2/2

Where: Union Transfer

Tickets: $15, all ages

Why: Because they’re a Danish electro–pop band with a blonde bombshell for a lead

singer. Check out these guys so you can say you knew them before they pen the next

iPod commercial background song.

Theophilus London

Who: Last name London, first name Theophilus

When: 2/7

Where: Johnny Brenda’s

Tickets: $13–$15, all ages

Why: If you missed him at the SPEC–TRUM show last semester, you missed out big time. Go

to catch his single “I Stand Alone” and stay for his unbridled talent and charisma.


Who: The guys who stole your 16–year–old heart with the emo piano ballad “Boston”

When: 2/3

Where: Theater of the Living Arts

Tickets: $13, all ages

Why: Street doesn’t usually endorse bands that we listened to in middle school, but nobody

is above rocking out to “Stars and Boulevards." Augustana will impress potential Valentines,

or let you get a good cry in before V–Day smacks you in the face next week.


We know how accurate iTunes Genius can be (i.e. Bon Iver and Lil Jon). Looking for a new, slightly cooler oracle

to show you the way? Street’s here with our superior, algorithm–free judgment calls. By Sam Brodey and FrIda Garza

If you like Kanye... try Kendrick Lamar

We’re all about Kanye’s ever–changing direction

as an artist, but if you’re longing for the flavor

of his older stuff (like The College Dropout)

you’ll want to check out upstart young rapper

Kendrick Lamar. He’s got some of Kanye’s eccentricity

and moodiness (we’ll see where that

takes him) as well as his knack for crafting solid

rhymes and beats.

Start with: "Hol’ Up," "A.D.H.D."

Also check out: Frank Ocean

If you like yeah yeah yeahs... try St. Vincent

Into awesome female rockers? We are too. Annie

Clark, a.k.a. St. Vincent, is a prodigious shredder

of guitars and a fantastic vocalist. Her sound is

similar to Karen O’s — if you added some metal,

an artsy touch and turned the volume up to 11.

Start with: "Cheerleader," "Dilettante"

Also check out: Sleigh Bells

If you like The Shins... try The dodos

It's time to outgrow your copy of the

Garden State soundtrack and expand

your collection of nerdy indie bands.

Enter The Dodos. This underrated

San Francisco group crafts some of best

head–bopping tunes we've heard. Start

with their old stuff and prepare yourself

for some serious infectiousness.

Start with: "Fables," "Fools"

Also check out: Of Montreal


Street: You’re an accomplished

(and really impressive)

graphic designer. How

does your work in design and

your eye for visuals inform

the way you make music, or

the other way around?

Tycho: They are one and the

same to me. I don’t see a separation

between my goals for each.

I am trying to express a singular

vision with my work and I feel

that the musical and visual aspects

are two necessary components.

My current goal is to create

a full–length motion piece

scored by my own music.

Street: Do you ever envision

an ideal scene for listening

to your music? The cover of

Dive looks pretty ideal...

Tycho: I suppose each song

would have its own specific

environment for me. I definitely

envision spaces or at least

hazy images of where that song

might occupy in physical space.

For me, the cover of Dive is the

space I imagine when I hear

“Ascension”; that was the song

I think most informed that artwork.

Street: Which musical artists

are your main inspirations?

Tycho: Boards of Canada and

Ulrich Schnauss are my primary

inspirations and two artists who

show me what electronic music

If you like nicki minaj... try Santigold

We love our lady rappers and Santigold is no

exception. Famous for her wildly hypnotic song

"Creator," this bad chick can seriously put it

down. Her sound is in the same vein as the crowd

favorite M.I.A., but is less polished and harder–

hitting. Think more animal noises and more


Start with: "I’m a Lady," "Big Mouth"

Also check out: Azealia Banks

If you like The Black Keys... try The dead Weather

The Black Keys, thanks to their overwhelming

recent success, have been credited with bringing

the blues back to alternative rock. Not so fast —

legendary bluesman Jack White has been singing

‘em for years (in various bands). His outstanding

side project with The Kills’ Allison Mosshart,

The Dead Weather, puts a down–and–dirty spin

on the blues that’s irresistibly good.

Start with: "I Cut Like a Buffalo," "Blue Blood Blues"

Also check out: The Kills

SPeC Jazz & Grooves brings Tycho to the rotunda this Friday at 8 p.m.

could be. But in the years since I

started I have found many other

inspirations, most notably in

the world of folk/rock which I

think has been playing a larger

role in my work of late.

Street: Could you talk a little

about ISO50 and what that

means for your music?

Tycho: ISO50 is just the name

I went under for design, but

over the years as I stopped doing

commercial design and focused

on my personal work I

realized the design and music

are inseparable. Now I think

ISO50 is more about the blog

and the pure design work.

If you like mumford & Sons... try old Crow medicine


Tired of the cold? Looking for something to take you

straight into the heart of Texas? Look no more. The multi–instrumentalists

of Old Crow Medicine Show will transport you

with their sweet bluegrass harmonies and their finger–pickin',

banjo–rockin' soul. It's impossible to listen to these guys and

not feel good inside.

Start with: "Wagon Wheel," "I Hear Them All"

Also check out: Gillian Welch

Street: What was touring with

Little Dragon last year like?

Tycho: It’s was a great experience.

I am a huge fan so it was

an incredible opportunity to

tour with them. We learned a

lot from how they represent the

music in a live context.

Street: What are some future

projects you're excited about?

Tycho: I'm currently working

on a new visuals set for the live

show. I’m working with a director

named Charles Bergquist

who has been shooting some

beautiful stuff which I’ll be sequencing

and effecting for the


highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow





Philly is the only American stop for this ground–

breaking Van Gogh exhibition. BY ISABEL


“I…am always obliged to

go and gaze at a blade of grass,

a pine–tree branch, an ear of

wheat, to calm myself,” wrote

Vincent Van Gogh to his sister

near the end of his life.

These words are embodied by

the works exhibited in “Van

Gogh: Up Close,”

the greatly–anticipated

PMA show

that opened yesterday.

Focusing on

the turbulent final

years of the

artist’s life — involving

his move

to Paris in 1886

and his time in an

asylum — the exhibit

highlights Van Gogh's

obsession with nature and the

emotional intensity that manifested

itself on canvas. As the

ultimate post–impressionist

trailblazer, Van Gogh broke

all the rules of still–life painting:

he layered thick brushstrokes,

used unusual perspectives

and played with depth

of field. Experimentation became

increasingly present in

the last four years of his life,

and this is the first exhibit to

ask why.

From fruit and flowers

painted from his apartment

in Montmartre to the captivating

landscapes of Southern

France, “Van Gogh: Up

"Cherry Blossoms"

Close” offers the viewer an

unprecedented opportunity to

take in the energized surfaces

and dizzying compositions

created during the last years

of the artist's tragic life.

Van Gogh: Up Close

Philadelphia Museum of Art

26th St. and Benjamin

Franklin Pkwy.



Love Penn? Tell accepted

students why!

The Offi ce of Admissions

is seeking volunteers to assist

with Penn Preview Days

Learn more and sign up at


P.S. We have free swag!

Philly Art Websites

With only so much space each week, Arts

can’t possibly cover all things local and creative.

And that’s where these amazing sites

step in — click, drool, repeat. BY ELLIE


1. Arslocii arslocii.wordpress.com

This blog presents intellectual musings on art, architecture and design in diary form, as writers explore

public spaces ranging from abandoned railways to sculpture parks. They not only review the placesvisited,

providing excellent advice for an afternoon getaway (photos included!), but also continually

churn out fresh insight on “placeness” and what makes certain public sites capable of fostering human


2. Art JAw artjaw.com

Artjaw features first–person stories from

different members of the Philadelphian art

world. In a very rare “around the campfire”

collaboration between academics,

critics, vendors, curators and artists, unfiltered

autobiographical snippets about

fights with teachers or breakthrough moments

accompany a profile photo of each

voice. Stories are added bi–monthly.

3. the NicolA MidNight st. clAire


The Nicola Midnight St. Claire is a monthly forum run by artists

to gather Philly–centric essays, reviews and interviews with artistic

slants. Sandwiched between commentary is bizarre and brilliant innovation;

the “centerfold” unveils locally–produced videos and other

works of digital media.

4. PriNterestiNg printeresting.org

Reposting national news (like a printer error that made “I Voted”

stickers smaller

than a pinky finger)

as well as

reviewing and

previewing highbrow


events and stores,

this site covers all

things printed and

pressed. They’ve

even followed our lead with their own DIY section: peeled–potato

letter blocks, anyone?

5. title MAgAziNe titlemagazine.net

What stands out about Title Magazine — new this year — is the

photo–essays about the lives and practices of artists who are asked

questions in interview form but must respond with visuals. Title

also distinguishes itself by appreciating traditional art, but also “artists”

who, for example, make old motorcycles work again.


Artistic Director Hannah de Keijzer chats with us about Green Chair Dance Group’s upcoming performance. Don’t

miss the opening night of [insert absurdly long title here] in Annenberg!

Street: What is Green Chair Dance Group?

Hannah de Keijzer: Green Chair Dance Group is a collaborative dance–theater company. We make dances that are

athletic, tender, accessible, frequently humorous and always full of the joy of moving together. Our dancing draws from

diverse backgrounds in improvisation, linguistics, math and a wide swath of movement techniques. The tension of working

collectively from distinct, strong personalities is an engine that drives our movement and resonates strongly in our

performance presence.

Street: What differentiates athletic dance theater?

HDK: We call our style “athletic” because we do a lot of lifting, leaping, throwing each other around and floor work.

We’re not afraid to sweat, and seem to have an affinity for putting the hardest, most cardiovascularly demanding sections

at the end of our dances so we’re completely exhausted by the time the lights go out. Our movement training of course

contributes to the style of our work — our backgrounds are in everything from capoeira to ballet, contact improvisation,

yoga and contemporary dance.

Street: What is Tandem Biking and Other Dangerous Pastimes for Two about?

HDK: It’s about reliability, being stuck in a small space together for too long, geometry and Grandma’s cinnamon

peaches. It’s about monuments and solitude and "guess what I’m feeling." And it’s about that thing that you can only

figure out after you’ve known someone a really, really long time. Tandem Biking isn’t a narrative in a traditional sense

— we jump back and forth in time a lot. It’s about

both the dance itself and our characters’

relationships sustained

over time. We talk about our

characters’ imagined past

— the road trips we’ve

taken, the music we listen

to, the board games

we play in a cabin in the

woods. It’s all in service

to building the history

and present of our characters’

lives together.

Check out

an extended


with Green

Chair at


Tandem Biking and Other Dangerous Pastimes for Two

Green Chair Dance Group: Sarah Gladwin Camp, Hannah de

Keijzer and Gregory Holt

2/3 and 2/4 at 7:30 p.m.

The Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts

Harold Prince Theater

3680 Walnut St.

Tickets: $20–$30, $10 student rush

To purchase, call the Annenberg box office at 215–898–3900

or visit www.annenbergcenter.com.

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow







Now Leasing for Fall 2012

Individual leases (per person) - w/ utilities included*

Washer and dryer in every apartment

Internet Café & Private study room

Fully furnished w/ full-size beds

Ground floor shopping & dining

State-of-the art fitness center

2-story city-view clubroom w/ walkout terrace

24-hour secured lobby access

*restrictions apply on electric usage

40th & Walnut St.



From graffiti to outer space, Philly offers some eccentric artistic explorations — matched by free wine, cheese and

automatic sophistication — this month in Old City.

Dalet Gallery

141 N. 2nd St.

If the appearance of a full moon has eerie effects on the average earthling,

just imagine what it can do to an artist. Better yet, come observe the

impact of this mysterious force in “Lunar Arrangements,” a show that

brings together the works of six compelling artists at the Dalet Gallery this

First Friday. The exhibit features a wide array of media and techniques

from Miruna Budistianu’s dynamic line–work to Julie Miller’s surrealist,

Magritte–esque mixed–media compositions. Don’t let the brooding, monochrome

quality of the works fool you — you will be illuminated.

— Inna Kofman

Jules GOlDman BOOks anD antiques

29 N. 2nd St.

It may seem

to be outside

of the conventional


of minimalist,


art galleries, but

30–year–old Jules

Goldman Books

and Antiques offers a different kind of exhibition space

and an intriguing group show, “Modernists in Exile.” In

a collection of works both abstract and representational,

particularly notable are the pulsating, densely–patterned

abstractions from Brian Gormley. His studio art derives

from influences of greats like Keith Haring and Jean–

Michel Basquiat, friends of his during the '80s, who

brought graffiti inside and into critical focus. Along

with the art, there’s an abundance of antique books,

animal trinkets and old photographs to look through.

So regardless of whether you’re looking to browse, study

or buy, Jules Goldman has got it.

— Lin Zheng

Pentimenti Gallery

145 N. 2nd St.

If you’re into lines, geometry and art, Pentimenti Gallery

highlights two upcoming artists in solo shows and showcases

their fascination with these concepts. Steven Baris’s

show, “Stations of the Cube," takes "cubism" literally,

using mixed media to explore space through cubes, while

Kim Beck’s “Built Futures” engages with society’s fixation

with “desire, stability and economic security” through

architecture in both drawings and sculpture. — Alexa


Dine-In, Catering & Delivery

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri 5-7

Lunch Special: Mon-Fri $8.95

Early Bird: Sun-Thur $10.95

VOx POPuli

319 N. 11th St.

If following the tail of the ass in

front of you (think OCR, rush

and pony rides) has you questioning

the path of our society, then

consider stepping out of line and

into Vox Populi. An artist collective

located near Pine and 11th,

Vox Populi disallows indifference

with its four latest exhibitions by

guest artists Carl Ferrero, Erik

Geschke, Ron Lambert, Brian

Barr and Lauren Rice. Each uses

wacky and familiar materials to

create avant–garde forms, such as

Geschke’s abstract sculpture constructed

from 65 plastic human

femur bones. Collectively, the

exhibitions push the limits of normality,

critiquing contemporary

society through the use of unappreciated

materials of everyday

life. — Kensey Berry

PattayaRestaurant.com • 215.387.8533

4006 Chestnut Street • University City

highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012


34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012 highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow





A. Demographic of Girls in VagMons


B. Demographic of Audience at VagMons

C. Average Cell Phone Usage

on Locust

Has friend(s) in show

Just there for fun

Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec



1. Next time you’re at Kim’s food

truck, stop by the big gray building

next to it — the one that sells yummy


2. Run a mile each time you find

yourself on a new listserv.

3. Forget laxatives — for a sure way to

shit yourself, just go past 50th St.

4. Stand next to your freshman


5. Put up a picture of Amy Gutmann

in your room as inspiration. (She’s 62

and looks not a pound heavier than


6. Try having sex without the whipped

cream for a change.

7. If you live on the third floor of the

Radian, take the stairs. Not to lose

weight, but because everyone else

thinks you’re an asshole.

8. Do your laundry in Hill. Your

clothes will shrink and your body will

have to keep up.

9. Stop eating Kalteen bars!

10. Read Lowbrow: we hear laughter

really works out your abs. And we all

know how attractive funny people



Alaskan Bros & Eski-hoes parties

Order another pair of Ugg(ly)s

Drink vodka “to keep warm” and because

you’re “not an alcoholic, I swear”

Delicious, flaming–hot

pumpkin spice lattes sold at

Metrosexual Cafe

Sexually inactive singles can

continue not shaving their

vagina monologues

Delay the inevitable return

of manktops on scrawny TEP bros.

Too cold for Locust flyer–ers to obnoxiously

promote their attempts to save eco–friendly,

cancer–inflicted whales that sing and dance

in West Philly schools


An actual tweet from a Capo barista: "Hate all of these penn bitches buying

sprinkles so fucking much."

Don't forget to tip!

No more Alaskan Bros & Eski-hoes


Naked laps around the Quad are humiliating

enough without shriveled

penis soliloquies

“Sun so hot, make the girls take it all

off.” (Yeah, we listen to Hot Chelle

Rae. So what?)

Skinny dipping in the Biopond

is finally socially acceptable,


Forget Dayglow; a shorter

winter means Holi's right

around the corner!

Warmer weather means

shorter skirts at Hillel

Easier to pass your walk of shame outfit

off as a summer dress. (There’s still no

reason you should be wearing heels on

Locust. Or at Blarney.)

It’s not the size of the winter; it’s how

you use it!


highbrow ego food & drink film feature music arts lowbrow

34TH STREET Magazine February 2, 2012



With the stresses of Penn, sometimes you just need someone to tell you everything

will be OK. Follow the directions to make a sw33t fortune teller (a la elementary

school) and wow your friends, your acquaintances and yourself with how

cool you are.

When you stop sniffling

so loudly in VP,

good karma will

come your way

Concentrate hard on

your greatest desire…

now keep


As you hear this fortune,

your housemate is


to pterodactyl porn

in your bed

You will have 112

excess meals at the end

of the semester

Tomorrow Locust will be

slippery. Be aware

brave soldier,

and you will

avoid a fall

Daddy said Goldman’s


going to take you

You will wake up

tomorrow and it will be

February 2nd again

* Don’t remember how to read fortunes?

Have a friend pick a color and move your fingers back and forth with each letter as you

spell out the color. At the last letter, the fortune teller should now be open to numbers.

Have your friend pick a number. Move your fingers back and forth as many times as the

number indicates. Have them pick another number to find their fortune — lift the appropriate

flap and read them their future!

These are not the droids

you're looking for

1. Cut along the dotted perimeter

of the pattern

2. Fold as shown in the picture

(you should have 4 equal–

sized triangles at the end of

this step)

3. Fold corners in so they

meet in the middle

4. Flip your creation over and

repeat, folding the corners in

to meet at the middle

5. Flip over again, this time

folding your fortune teller in

halves as pictured

6. Pop up the sides and place

your thumb and forefinger

into the paper

7. You are ready to be Ms.


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