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you know she's going to get sort of
sympathetically thought about you know,
but I was really I was concerned, I nearly
wrote to her you know, I'm very conscious
with the tape recorder she said how
difficult she found it, you know that it
silenced her, she tends to be silent in the
discussions.
Judi
I don't agree that the tape recorder silenced
her I think that's again sort of an
enactment.
Bill
Well, it's like, it's my penis, isn't it, I'm
waving that around.
Judi
Possibly yes that's right, absolutely.
Bill
Sticking it in everywhere I possibly can.
Judi She would probably yes. But also
she's, I mean with a man if you want to
look at it that way she would find
something to complain about. You know
you'd be dominating or persecuting her in
some way.
Bill
Yeah if I didn't have a tape recorder it
would be because I wasn't tape recording
and therefore didn't care about what
happened.
Judi
Yeah, yeah so it's just an excuse. You
haven't bought the china cups they're white
cups. Yeah she's somehow cathected to
me, which is again a defensive sort of
arrangement.
Bill
But it's good that she's kind of connected
to someone.
Judi
At least she's done that, at least she's done
that, yes. Yes oh well. The other thing is
Chapter Eight – A Consulting Break - Page 248
criticism or supervisory remarks when
working with the students and their
clinical material can make it hard to be
more direct in this current setting of the
break. I wonder if this concern with Heidi
is a delayed attempt to think about the
previous week (i.e. Session 8, discussed in
Chapter Five). On reading the transcript of
Session 8, it looks fairly innocuous,
whereas perhaps it had a primitive quality
that we have yet to understand. I wonder if
it did represent a communication on behalf
of the group.
I certainly seem to be waving it around
here. (Here, I am not seeking to be
exhibitionistic, but rather to capture a nonrational
experience. I am thinking
symbolically, so the tape recorder may be
experienced at an unconscious level as a
symbol of my power, which I have
inserted into the experience of the
semester. Also, I wonder if I am
unconsciously alluding to my experience
in this current interaction, where I may
(and with hindsight, do) feel that I am
being experienced and construed as
dominating).
Interesting. Is this move to the conflicted