The Supreme Doctrine - neo-alchemist

THE FIVE MODES OF THOUGHT
insulated. To what does this lack of insulation of the intellectual terminal
correspond? To the passivity of the mind in face of the ultimate problem of
man's state as this problem is manifested in the present moment. All man's
movements, interior and exterior, have a unique prime motor, his natural
need to-be-as-a-distinct-entity, that is to say his natural need to 'exist', which
resides in his instinctive centre; but man is not conscious of this need at the
moment when this need comes into play in so far as it comes into play at the
given moment. Man can be conscious of it theoretically, but not concretely,
in so far as this need is experienced in the instant. Everything works in the
man on the basis of a 'given-that-I-must-exist' which remains implicit; his
mind can become actively conscious of all the manifestations of this primary
need, but this consciousness of manifestation excludes consciousness of that
which it manifests.
Let us try to say that again in another way. Behind everything that man
experiences there is debated within him the illusory question of his being or
his nullity, Man's attention is fascinated by the fluctuations of this dispute,
and these appear to him unceasingly important and new; and he is
unconscious of the dispute itself and of its constant monotony. Man is
attentive to the forms of his psycho-somatic states, to their qualitative
variations which are always new; he does not see, behind the formal
manifestations of his momentary state, the quantitative variations of what we
will call the in-formal sensation of his existence. If, at any moment, I wish to
perceive, by means of an intuitive inward movement of perfect simplicity, the
in-formal impression that I have of existing more or less, I can do so; but as
soon as I cease to wish it I cease to do so and my attention is seized once
again by formal perceptions. When I voluntarily perceive my in-formal
sensation of existing (quantitatively variable), my mind is active concerning
the ultimate reality of my condition at the concrete moment that I am living,
and then my intellectual centre is insulated, and I experience no emotion. As
soon as I cease this voluntary perception, which is unnatural, my intellectual
centre ceases to be active, ceases to be insulated, and my emotions begin
again.
My in-formal sensation of existing varies quantitatively, from
annihilation to exaltation, but without a special effort I do not pay attention to
that, though it is nevertheless that which is in question for me in my actual
egotistical-dualistic condition. I am attentive to the mental forms which
reveal my state, annihilated or exalted.
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