power freedom magic beauty intellect - University-Student Union

Issue 20 Fall 2012
gender & sexualIty resource center
free and Priceless
calIfornIa state unIversIty, los angeles
POWER FREEDOM MAGIC BEAUTY INTELLECT

PUBLISHER
Frederick Smith
Denise Carlos, MSW
EDITOR IN CHIEF
Victoria Kraus
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS
Desireé Ross
Mildred Martin
COPY EDITOR
Jennifer Ashley
FOUNDING EDITOR
Stephanie Abraham
DESIGNER
Talisunep Longkumer
DESIGN CONSULTANT
The views expressed in LOUDmouth do not necessarily reflect those of
California State University, Los Angeles, the University-Student Union,
or their students, staff or administrators. And, because feminism
is not a monolithic ideology, there may be as many viewpoints
expressed here as there are feminists. Opinions are those of their
respective authors and are not necessarily those of LOUDmouth.
feminism: fem - - niz - m – .
e
a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation and all oppression
The Gender & Sexuality Resource Center
(GSRC) is part of the Cross Cultural Centers
at California State University, Los Angeles.
Its mission is to encourage student learning
as well as to foster an inclusive campus
environment that challenges racism, sexism,
heterosexism and other forms of oppression.
With a commitment to increasing crosscultural
awareness, we offer a wide variety of
programs and services that explore both the
shared and unique experiences, histories and
heritages of our diverse community.
Please contact the GSRC at: (323) 343-3370,
or e-mail LOUDmouth at: loudmouthcsula@
gmail.com, or by mail at: University-Student
Union, 5154 State University Dr., Los Angeles,
CA 90032, or through Facebook: LOUDmouth.
COVER ART - Victoria Phouangbandith
TURNING GODDESS
‘To be a god. Only a woman can know.
Discoveries of turning 25. Discoveries of
turning Goddess.’
Echo Park native designer, rich in life and creative
spirit. With a BFA from Otis College of Art and
Design, Victoria’s interests and expertise lies
in architecture, landscapes, interiors, fashion,
graphics and all things innovative¬. Spend the
day with her —www.averyvickyday.com.
e
n

15
Pregnancy Poem
Lori D’Angelo
POETRY
16 - 18
A Pause in the Lesson From
Teacher to Student
Cynthia Lemus
ESSAY
19
To Be a Pocha or Not to Be
Iris de Anda
ESSAY
20 - 21
3rd Period Freewrite
Jennifer Alumbaugh
POETRY
22
Rebellious of Oppressive
Systems, None
of ‘em Fit Us
Maria L. Guillen Valdovinos
POETRY
23
The Rise of Feng Huang
Over Lunar Rhythms
Josephine Hernandez Tiu
ART
24-25
We Are the 99%..in Other
Words the Majority
Claudia Cano
ART
26
I Am the 99%
Josefina Lopez
POETRY
27
The Hunger Remains
Michelle Mojica
POETRY
28 - 29
My Irrational Fears
of the Day
Kristyn Scorsone
COMIC
30 - 31
Selections from Diary
Comic “You Don’t Get
There from Here“
Carrie McNinch
ART
32 - 33
How Cancer Led to my
Ever-Evolving Food Choices
Dolly Lin
ESSAY
34
Review on Pariah.
Reclaim on Queer
Brieanne Buttner
ESSAY
Table of ConTenTs
35 - 37
Meant to Mentor:
My Experience
Mentoring LGBTQ Youth
Taylor Spining
ESSAY
38-39
On Being Awkward
and Black
Rhonda Mitchell
ESSAY
40 - 41
We’re Not Just Saving the
Planet, We’re
Saving Ourselves
Monica Schrock
ESSAY
42 - 43
Ovas Unite 2012
Ariel Climer
ESSAY
44 - 45
Where I am From
Various Authors
POETRY
46
Motherhood
Lori D’Angelo
POETRY
IN EVERY ISSUE
04 froM tHe Heart of tHe edItor
05 InsPIrIng loudMoutH
06 tHe f-Word
07 loudMoutH lIst
09 KnoW your feMnIst faculty
11 asK J

FROM
THE
EDITOR
4
This year Loudmouth took a different approach in its layout, going
from its previously biannual magazine format to a bound volume
collecting a year’s worth of submissions. The decision to embrace
the annual format was, like with everything else these days, in
response to the ever-evolving world of technology. The ease in
which readers access news and literature on the internet has
affected print media so much that the demand for subscriptions in
print form is barely surviving. I prefer reading and turning paper
pages with my hands over gluing my eyes to a pdf file on a computer
screen. Otherwise, why spend money on paper that will eventually
be in the trash anyway? This brings me to ponder: is nostalgia the
only thing keeping print media alive?
Like most people, music had a profound impact on me especially
during my most impressionable years as an adolescent. My access
to music was limited to the radio and occasional trips to Tower
Records with my father where I could buy two cassette singles for
five dollars. It was the early ‘90s and internet and cell phones
weren’t household items yet. DVDs hadn’t replaced VHS tapes and
gas was still under a buck a gallon. As the 21st century came upon
us, however, so did affordable home computers, internet, and file
sharing. Inevitably, it was the mp3 that put Tower Records out of
business. That isn’t to say that vinyl records and CDs will become
obsolete yet or if it all, but the possibility looms. And that’s the fear
I live in. I don’t want to conform to what seems like the masses
doing “everything” on an iPhone. I want simplicity, or at least the
option of it. A phone should function as just a phone. A camera as
a camera. Every generation of young people should grow up with a
printed newspaper in arm’s reach, not zoom in and out of
paragraphs of an article on their smart phones.
The content of Loudmouth’s twentieth issue is a compilation of
stories, profiles, artwork and more, by folks generously
volunteering their time to contribute to a dying form of media. I
hope that readers will be as inspired as those who contributed to
this issue to keep the printed form alive.
Sincerely,
Victoria Kraus

InsPIrIng loudmouth
Gabriela ‘Gabby’ amanda Pérez – is described as a powerful young
woman who made tremendous contributions to InnerCity Struggle and her community
of East Los Angeles.
Gabriela began her work her at InnerCity Struggle at the age of 15 – a spunky and
energetic young person who loved punk rock and was known as a good friend. As a
student at Garfield High School, one of the most overcrowded schools in the country,
Gabby dedicated her high school years and young adult life to the struggle for educational
justice. She advocated for more resources in the schools, an end to punitive school
policies, the hiring of more counselors and teachers, as well as advocating for higher
expectations for ALL students by leading the campaign to ensure college access.
In 2004, while still a student at Garfield High School,
she led the fight to win a new high school in East
Los Angeles, the first in over 85 years. Even though
she knew that she would not directly benefit from
the new high school, since it would open after she
graduated, she felt passionately about providing
the future generations of youth in East Los Angeles
with better opportunities to graduate high school
and attend a four-year university. She collected
petition signatures in support of the new school
and spoke in front of the school board demanding
that the Eastside be made a priority. She inspired
fellow students and community residents to become
involved in marches and rallies in favor of the new
school. Through her leadership and perseverance,
Esteban E. Torres High School opened in 2010, a symbol of hope and opportunity for
the Eastside.
After graduating from high school in 2005, Gabby went on to undergraduate studies at
California State University at Long Beach. In 2007, Gabby returned to InnerCity Struggle
as part of the staff team. Gabby served as the United Students Youth Organizer for
Garfield High and later worked in the United Students Jr. component at Hollenbeck
Middle School. She was an amazing organizer who activated youth, built a base, and
inspired a new generation of students from the Eastside.
Gabby passed away early in the morning on Wednesday, July 27, 2011. Gabby was always
full of life and cared deeply about the youth of her community.
Rest in Power Gabby!
Inspired by Gabby’s work with Innercity Struggle?
Join in the movement at www.innercitystruggle.org
by lizette Patron
5

WHat feMInIsM Means to Me
“I discovered the utility of my own tongue through feminism.”
(Stacy I. Macías, Issue 15)
6
the F-Word
“Embracing many parts of my cultural upbringing allows me to fashion a different type
of feminism, one that doesn’t degrade my culture.” (Sabrina Alimahomed, Issue 12)
“Feminism is interrogating the normal practices of life to see where power lies — and
who is using it for what ends. It’s questioning what gender means: at the very same
time having to negotiate, on a daily basis, the fact that you exist in a codified body.”
(Alice G. Patterson, Issue 14)
“Black women, like me, try to escape it [labeling ourselves as feminists] because we are
black first, female second. For me, I’m as black as I am female.”
(Shauna Robinson, Issue 16)
“Feminism is a state of consciousness where a human being accepts accountability to
all humanity. It’s an awakening that is guided by the desire to fight for dignity with
healing intention. It’s a collective scream.” (Quetzal Flores, Issue 18)
“… feminism for me is a strong self-love and understanding of our lives, respect for our
communities, discourse, liberation, positive body images, education, unity, love,
activism, struggle, sisterhood and revolution!” (Franchezska Zamora, Issue 11)
“As a parent, I’m deeply concerned about the future for my son as a result of all this
macho posturing… I hope my son will learn to respect women as equals, listen and
learn from them in both personal and professional matters and face the challenges they
present to traditional models of manhood.” (Greg Williams, Issue 7)
“Feminism has multiple faces and is constantly evolving and transforming to reflect our
various realities… It is amazing to know and realize that common causes of justice and
freedom do not always have the same strategies, nor the same results, because it
broadens our possibilities and a single vision is no longer a possibility.”
(Sumaq Urpi, Issue 17)
“To me there are many feminisms. They exist together in a room like people at a family
party. Some have been around a long time—you know their names and faces—and
some of these continue to shape the structures of our conversations while others have
begun to take their leave… My personal feminisms move at the intersections of my
raced, gendered, and sexualized selves.” (Wei Ming Dariotis. Issue 19)
“Feminism is owning your own walls, meaning the reformation that co-exists as a cycle
of struggle, empowerment, inspiration, and personal emancipation.”
(Paloma Parfrey, Issue 13)

ONE OF OUR
las Fotos Project (lFP)
www.lasfotosprojet.org
www.facebook.com/lasfotosproject
loudMoutH list
FAVORITE ORGS!
Local photographer and educator, Eric V. Ibarra, was alarmed at the percentage
of Latina high school dropout rates. He said,“Being Latino and from Los Angeles
I felt a personal connection to this demographic.” Ibarra started the project in
2010 at a high school in the Los Angeles Unified School District and immediately
recognized its possibilities. “After facilitating a pilot program I realized that this
had potential to expand into other neighborhoods.” Now the project works with
community centers in Boyle Heights, El Sereno, Koreatown, Pasadena, Huntington
Park, and Montebello.
Ibarra’s concept to utilize photography as a tool for empowerment and artistic
expression has led to working with local photographers who believe in the power
of photography, the need to empower young women and the benefits that this
organization brings to low income women of color. Local photographers who
volunteer their time develop a specific project for the young women they will
mentor such as workshop ideas, concepts and activities. Some of those projects
include: vision boards, photojournalism, zine making and other fun experimental
photography concepts, such as double exposure and working with both film and
digital cameras.
“My vision has always been to work with Latino communities throughout the US
and Latin America, “ said Ibarra. Their first international project took place this
spring in Panajachel, Guatemala and in the fall of 2012 Las Fotos Project goes to
Nicaragua. “I see Las Fotos Project as a national and international photography
program working with thousands of youth simultaneously creating opportunities
for girls to build confidence and self-worth,” said Ibarra.
In September Las Fotos Project is going to showcase photography from young
women in a culminating exhibit titled, “Este Soy Yo” at local downtown Los
Angeles gallery, (SUB)URBAN, during Art Walk. They are releasing a few books
over the next months, including their first zine and a book about immigration by
El Sereno residents. The first annual fundraiser will take place in November at El
Velorio an event brought together by The Get Down Collective.
To find out more about their upcoming events, projects and if you want to get
involved check out their website at www.lasfotosproject.org, and friend them on
facebook at www.facebook.com/lasfotosproject
7

8
ONE OF OUR
Guerrilla Queenz
los Angeles, California
guerillaqueenz.net
loudMoutH list
FAVORITE BANDS!
Guerrilla Queenz is a local hip-hop and reggae group formed by two female
MC’s: Sista Centzi and Sista Eyerie (both former members of Cihuatl Tonali). The
group’s name is derived from the poem “Calling all Guerrilla Queens” by Cherry
Natural. Sista Eyerie and Sista Centzi felt the name would pay tribute and honor
to all women freedom fighters.
The music of Guerrilla Queenz is feminist and community inspired through
an indigenous and revolutionary aspect,“(es) musica para la gente, (the)
community,” said Sista Eyerie, “our mission is to create and promote
revolutionary music that helps educate and build sustainable communities.”
These Queenz not only make music but also support and promote organizations
such as Affirm GabNet, Native youth movement, Food not Bombs, CopWatch LA
and the Anarchist Book Fair. Among all that they find time to “develop and run
workshops with emphasis on the indigenous wombynz role in hip-hop” said
Sista Eyerie.
Their commitment for community is also seen in the music community with
collaborations with artists like Krudas Cubensi from Cuba, Alika from Argentina,
Moyenei from Chile and Hector Guerra member of Pachamama Crew, Spain as
well as local artists as 2Mex and Cambio from Watsonville, California.
Their downloadable EP “Calling all Guerilla Queenz” will be available in
September while their official LP album Out2infiltr8 is scheduled to be released
on November 2nd.

KnoW your
Feminist FACulty
by desireé ross
Dionne espinoza grew up in East L.A. She attended a predominantly
Latina, all-girls Catholic high school, followed by UC Berkley where she was
introduced to minority literatures and women of color studies. During her
college studies, she took courses on Postcolonial literature, African American
Women’s literature, and Chicano/a literature. With a diverse ethnic studies
background, she continued at Cornell University, receiving her doctorate
in postcolonial and women of color studies. At Cornell, Espinosa found her
identity as a fierce Chicana feminist upon meeting her mentor, Professor Norma
Alarcon, who taught her about the historical treatment of women of Mexican
descent and the influences of Chicana history in the U.S.
Currently Espinoza is a professor at California State University Los Angeles,
teaching a variety of Women’s and Gender Studies courses, is the advisor
for Mujeres Activas en Letras y Cambio (Women Active in Letters and Social
Change), and is the advisor for the Women’s and Gender Studies Department.
In the past, she was the Director of the CSGS (Center for the Study of Genders
and Sexualities) and recently helped organize the MALCS (Mexican American
Legislative Caucus) National Conference.
It’s important to Dr. Espinoza to open the student population to a plethora of
feminist thoughts. “We have a GE course on Gender and Race in the US,” in
Women’s and Gender Studies and the course is filled every quarter. Many of
these students will never take another Women’s studies course (we don’t have
that many yet), but they will be exposed to some of the key ideas and issues
and hopefully… they will have a base of knowledge for thinking about how
race, class, gender and sexuality informs their work whether it be in business,
politics, health, education, etc.” This will
allow for an inclusive feminist movement.
Feminism is “a commitment to ensure that
women’s experiences, issues and interests are
part of defining social justice, social change
policy….and challenging sexism, patriarchy,
and misogyny… [Feminism] is really the
foundation of pretty much everything I try to
do,” states Espinosa. Spiritually, feminism has
helped her to develop a better a sense of her
purpose, as well where to put her energies.
9

10
KnoW your
feMInIst faculty
Robert benjamin bateman has taught at CSULA since Fall of 2009
and is a well-known activist and ally for many communities. He received his
B.A. in Political Science and continued his education, achieving a Ph.D. in
English from the University of Virginia, is associated with the Liberal Studies
department, and has an expertise in 20th Century British and American
Literature, Queer Theory, and Popular Culture Studies. Professor Bateman is
Director of the Center for the Study of Genders and Sexualities (CSGS) and also
edited a book Gender and Sexuality in Popular Culture.
Professor Bateman developed an appreciation for various roles of women at a
young age. However, the women in his life were still subject to discriminations.
They were looked down upon for standing in superior positions to men and
could not pray in front of them in the church that Bateman was raised in. The
inequalities that he saw women face never felt right to him. During his first year
of college, young Bateman was introduced to the study of gender politics, by
philosopher Debra Morris there he began to understand the dangerous impact
of sexism on individuals and society.
Professor Bateman finds it important for there to be a greater exposure to
“feminism and queer theory” in academic environments. He also notes that
this means “we need more classes in Women’s and LGBT studies offered on
this campus” and further states that those Women’s and LGBT focused courses
should be required. He states that “it is vital that “we… stay alert to the diversity
and complexity of women’s voices, including women of color, poor women, Third
World women, lesbians, women of advanced age, trans- women, and differently
abled women.”
Bateman was an editor for Gender and Sexuality in Popular Culture. One way
that he incorporates feminism, in his courses, is by encouraging “students not
to take current ways of thinking about sex and gender for granted and to look to
the past for new ideas and inspiration.” He further explains that “great works
of literature have an ability to confuse us… and getting unfamiliar with what
we think we know can be really productive for imagining alternative worlds.”
Feminism gives Professor Bateman “purpose and community.” When asked
how feminism has changed his life, he said:
“You know—I was a dorky, effeminate, gay kid in
small town Virginia who didn’t even come close to
fitting in. Although my first couple years of college
weren’t much better socially, my courses in gender
studies introduced me to like-minded people who
later became close friends and allies. Politics—
gender politics, anti-racist politics, etc.—aren’t just
about asserting rights and articulating needs; they
are about envisioning and then enacting new worlds,
and I’ve never been able to picture a world inclusive
of me in which residues of sexism remained.”
by desireé ross

Dear J:
As a Mexican American,
I have grown up eating
dishes that almost
always contain meat,
like tacos and pozole.
I recently decided to
Jeri Landon
go on a vegetarian diet
because I want to improve my health.
What are some ways I can ensure that I
get all the nutrients my body needs and
get my mom off my back for not eating
meat anymore?
Congratulations on making this lifestyle
change for yourself. Choosing a vegetarian
diet plan can be a very healthful option.
Studies have found that Western vegetarians
have a lower mean body mass index (BMI),
a lower mean plasma total cholesterol
concentration, and about a 25 percent lower
mortality rate from ischemic heart disease
compared to meat eaters. Vegetarians tend
to have lower blood pressure and lower rates
of hypertension and type-2 diabetes than
non-vegetarians. They may also be at a lower
risk for other diseases such as constipation,
diverticular disease, gallstones
and appendicitis.
Vegetarian diets can meet all the
recommendations for nutrients as long as
they consume a variety of foods and the right
amount of foods to meet their calorie needs.
It’s important to choose foods that provide
adequate protein, iron, calcium, zinc and
Vitamin B12.
In order to get enough protein, include
foods like whole-grain bread, cereal, pasta
and brown rice as well as nuts, beans and
tofu. Foods rich in iron include iron-fortified
breakfast cereal, spinach, kidney beans,
black-eyed peas, lentils, molasses,
whole-wheat bread, and some dried fruits. If
you will not be eating dairy products as part
of your vegetarian diet plan, you can get your
calcium from calcium-fortified soy milk and
Ask j
Have a question ? contact Jeri landon at jlandon@cslanet.calstatela.edu
green leafy vegetables such as spinach,
collard greens and other foods fortified
with calcium.
Zinc helps the immune system function
properly. Include many types of beans (white
beans, kidney beans, chickpeas), zinc-fortified
breakfast cereal, wheat germ, and pumpkin
seeds in your diet. Vitamin B12 is found in
animal products and in some fortified foods.
Good sources include milk products, eggs
and food fortified with Vitamin B12 such as
breakfast cereals, soy milk, veggie burgers
and yeast.
I encourage you to meet with a dietician before
switching to a vegetarian eating plan to make
sure that you are consuming all the necessary
nutrients, vitamins and minerals for good
health. You can find a registered dietician in
your area by going to www.eatright.org. If you
are a student at Cal State L.A., take advantage
of the Student Health Center’s nutrition clinic.
Services are provided by CSULA school of
kinesiology and nutritional sciences dietetics
interns and are offered at no additional cost
beyond the mandatory health fee included
in quarterly registration fees. For more
information on healthy eating, you can go to
www.ChooseMyPlate.gov or
www.dietaryguidlines.gov.
Many of the foods you have grown up eating
as a Mexican American can be modified to
fit your new vegetarian lifestyle. Foods that
typically contain meat or poultry can be made
vegetarian. How about trying bean-andcheese
burritos or tacos, pozole using pinto
beans instead of pork, or black-bean-mole
enchiladas? Don’t overdo it on high-fat cheeses
when substituting for the meat you’re not
eating. Soy cheese is a much more healthful
alternative to use in your meals. More Mexican
vegetarian recipes can be found online, or
experiment with your own family recipes. For
instance, you can check out “Platillos Latinos:
¡Sabrosos y Saludables!” at the National Heart,
Lung and Blood Institute online (www.nhlbi.
nih.gov). Your mom may actually enjoy
the change!
11

Dear J:
I am a single mother of a four year old.
He is a handful like many kids his age.
On top of that I have a part time job and
go to school. I have been feeling too
tired and stressed out to do anything.
How can I distress to get more out of
my day?
Being a single mother attending college
can be a very busy and exciting time in your
life! No wonder you’re feeling tired and
stressed out! You are smart to look for ways
to destress so you won’t feel so overwhelmed
that you are unable to cope with your day-today
activities.
Take good care of your health! You can cope
with stress better if you are in good health.
Exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet, get
plenty of sleep, and avoid alcohol or other
drugs to help deal with your stressors.
Develop a support system. It’s hard to do
everything yourself. Let your friends and
family members help when you are feeling
stressed out. Find someone you can talk to.
Be realistic and expect some obstacles along
the way as you work towards reaching your
goals. Learn to manage your time and set
priorities. Set aside time to spend with your
child, time for studying, and just time
for yourself.
If you start feeling overwhelmed by things in
your life, please get some professional help.
Chronic stress can affect your immune system
and can lead to illness. You can make an
appointment with a mental health or medical
clinician at the Student Health Center, see a
clinician through your medical insurance or
call the L.A. County Mental Health /Access
Center (Information Line) at (800) 854-7771
for referrals in your area. The Student Health
Center website also has information on
outside resources.
12
Ask j
Dear J
My mother and I have hit a rough
patch in our relationship. Her
definition of success is different
from mine. She often brings up my
pursuing a traditional career and it’s
causing tension between us. How do I
solve my problem?
First of all, I commend you for wanting to
“solve your problem” with your mother. This
shows that you are willing to continue the
dialog with mom and try to resolve
your differences.
When I consulted with Paris Silva, LCSW from
the Cal State L.A. Counseling and
Psychological Services (CAPS) about this
issue, she said, “We can’t change other
people- we can only change ourselves and
even the best of relationships experience
growing pains from time to time.”
You are growing up and it may be hard for
your mom to accept the fact that you can make
your own decisions for your life. In order to
clarify things with your mom, sit down with her
and discuss what the meaning of “success”
is for both of you. Listen to what she has to
say and try to understand her feelings on the
subject. Explain to her how important your
career goals are to you. Share your feelings
about the future and how much having her
support would mean to you. Hopefully, you
two can come to a compromise that you both
can agree to.
Ultimately, the decision is yours. If you and
your mother cannot come to an understanding
on this subject, you may need to learn to live
with this situation. Instead of feeling the
tension, find things that you and your mom
enjoy doing together and spend time having
fun with each other.

Dear J
I am going through a depression. I
noticed I eat more when I’m depressed.
How do I deal with my depression in a
healthier way?
You have made the first step to good health by
admitting that you feel depressed and asking
for help. It is normal to feel sad for a couple of
days or so and especially when things aren’t
going well, but if your depression interferes
with your daily life for weeks at a time, it needs
evaluation and possibly treatment by a
professional. Without treatment, depression
can get worse, make life more difficult, affect
others around you, interfere with work and
academics, or create other health problems.
Some of the signs and symptoms of
depression are:
• Feeling sad or “empty”
• Feeling hopeless, irritable,
anxious, or guilty
• Loss of interest in favorite activities
• Feeling very tired
• Not being able to concentrate or
remember details
• Not being able to sleep, or sleeping
too much
• Overeating, or not wanting to eat at all
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps,
digestive problems, or weight changes
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
• Thoughts of harming others
Depression is treatable, so plan to seek
professional help from a mental health or
medical provider. Your clinician may decide
you need an exam and/or lab tests to rule
out other conditions that may have the
Ask j
same symptoms as depression. If you are
diagnosed with depression, treatment
options include lifestyle changes,
psychotherapy, and medication. You can
make an appointment with a mental health
or medical clinician at the Student Health
Center, see a clinician through your medical
insurance or call the L.A. County Mental
Health /Access Center (Information Line)
at (800) 854-7771 for referrals in your area.
The Student Health Center website also has
information on outside resources.
As you continue your prescribed treatment,
you should gradually start to feel better.
What can you do to take care of yourself in
the meantime? Try to exercise every day.
Exercise is a great way to improve your
mood, help you feel better about yourself,
and a way to socialize with other people.
Exercise is also a distraction when you
feel the need to eat. Good nutrition is very
important for you as well as getting plenty
of sleep. In school and work situations,
set realistic goals for yourself and break up
large tasks into smaller ones. Postpone
important decisions until you feel better.
Don’t isolate yourself. Try to spend time
with other people. Be confident that
positive thinking will slowly replace negative
thinking as your depression responds
to treatment.
If you are ever in crisis and feel like harming
yourself or others, or attempting suicide, get
help right away. Call your doctor, call 911
for emergency services, go to the nearest
hospital emergency room, or call the tollfree,
24-hour National Suicide Prevention
Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.
13

`
Dear J,
I have sex with both males and females.
I am currently in an open relationship
with my female partner. When we have
sex, she doesn’t want to use protection.
She said she only wants me to use it
with other people. I really love her and
I just want to be safe with everyone, but
i don’t want to hurt her feelings. What
should I do to make sure we are
both safe?
First of all, I commend you for wanting to be
safe with all of your sexual partners. If you
have an open relationship with your girlfriend
and are having sex with both men and women,
you need to take certain steps to prevent
sexually transmitted infections (STI) for both
of you.
Talk with your partner – Many people find it
difficult to talk to their partner about sexually
transmitted infections. But, for many couples,
this discussion can actually bring the two
people closer together. Educate yourself about
sexually transmitted infections and know the
facts before you have this discussion with your
girlfriend. You will be more confident and
able to answer any questions she may have.
Explain to her that STIs are common and most
people who have one don’t know it. Using
a condom will protect both of you. Pick up
some brochures from the health center that
you can give to her and suggest she come in to
talk to a health educator if she has additional
questions or concerns.
Get tested and have your partners tested - Go
with your girlfriend to get tested together if you
haven’t already done so. You or your girlfriend
14
Ask j
may have been exposed to a sexually
transmitted infection from a previous
relationship and not know about it for months
or even years and pass it on to each other.
Also, be sure that all of your other male and
female partners are tested before you have sex
with them.
Use protection consistently – Using a male
condom every time you have oral, vaginal, or
anal sex can greatly lower your risk of getting
a sexually transmitted infection. If you or your
partners are allergic to latex, use non-latex
condoms. “Dental” dams can also reduce
your risk of getting an STI during oral-vaginal
or oral-anal sex. There are many places where
you can get free male and female condoms,
and dams, including the Student Health
Center, Planned Parenthood, or your local
health department.
Limit your number of sex partners – One thing
you need to keep in mind is that your risk
of getting a sexually transmitted infection
goes up with the number of people you have
sex with. Having safe sex with only one
person who is only having sex with you will
substantially lower your risk of STIs.

Pregnancy PoeM
by lori d’angelo
Body in flux.
Metamorphosis
feels like falling.
Stomach expands,
Breast break out
of seams. At the bus
stop, little girls
hold notebooks,
run in the rain.
My husband says,
Soon, you’ll be
waddling. Today
is a day for ducks.
Monday there’s
a chance of snow.
Even the dog
senses the change.
She knows, my sister
says. Mother is a
thing I’m not sure
I can wrap my arms
around. So I cup
my hands atop
the growing thing,
and I wait.
15

a Pause In tHe lesson
froM teacHer to student
16
Classrooms are crowded,
But in the world,
There is plenty of room for you.
Honestly, I cannot teach you en masse.
There aren’t enough chairs,
Desks
And there is too much to grade.
You deserve more attention.
You need more art. Dance. Yoga.
I am aware of this fact.
You need movement and music in your life.
I agree,
The school day is too long, and
The campus is noisy.
“Reduction in Force” translates as
Your class size will swell to 50 and your chances of
truly learning will shrink exponentially.
I am a number, and you are a number—as far as
they are concerned,
But you are not a victim.
You have a name.
So do I.
It is only a district.
Algebra puzzles me too.
Geometry, I understand.
Life is a series of lines and
Planes and
Slopes and
Intersections.
Your life is a pattern.
Eventually it will make sense
Even when you feel that you don’t know
The coordinates.
You will see that they converge
Just as they should.
by cynthia lemus

Some of your classmates do keep others from learning,
But learn to ignore their disruptions.
There are many distractions in life and you will need to learn to filter
those so that you can stay
Focused.
Determined.
Open.
There are teachers who may not respect you or
Who are cruel to you.
You should know that just as you come to school with your own
backpack full of grief and anxiety
And crises, many of them carry their own burdens and have nowhere to
lay them except on your Tiny Backs.
Do not let them convince you that you are anything but a miracle.
You have forward momentum.
You have now.
Make a life for yourself that you want.
Write your wish list on a piece of paper and carry it with you.
It is possible.
Learn a second language—it will make you flexible when situations
become rigid.
Thank you. Please. I am sorry. I love you. You are welcome.
Do you need help?
Everyone understands these words and will say you are very polite. You
will surprise yourself at how much kindness in return you will receive.
A symphony exists amongst the trees and the ocean and
the mountains.
Beyond this place.
It is the beginning of infinity.
When you leave school, the world will begin to truly educate you.
You will struggle to pay rent,
You will consider having children,
You will overpay for a car,
You will miss your mother’s cooking,
You will wish you had learned to work with your hands,
You will appreciate your father,
You will want to be friends with your teacher,
You will never want to fall out of love,
You will want to know who you are,
Why you are here and what your purpose is.
17

cyntHIa BenIn leMus is a writer and teacher living in Los Angeles. She is a part of an endangered yet resilient group of
teacher-librarians at Los Angeles Unified School District. She is at work on a play. She often collaborates with her
husband, photographer
18
You will discover that the only assignment that matters is what you do
with your life.
When you get to be old, like me,
Will people remember what you gave, what you said, what you shared,
Or how your life mattered to them?
I hope so.
I want you to care about your existence.
I will remember your name.
I will remember you let me teach you.
You were my teacher too.
Send me your commencement announcement to let me know that you
did it.
In spite of all obstacles,
Real and
Imagined,
You graduated.
Armed with the tools
And the hazing from public education
Having bruised you with its beastly beauty,
You are ready.
For everything.
******
Let us now get back to work.
Open our books.
Read Chapter 17
And take notes.
Let us prepare for the test
I need you to take.

ecause I’m neither
from here nor there
I speak both languages
with a flair
born in Los Angeles
with roots that extend
reaching out to faraway lands
faraway sands, faraway from here
because I’m my father’s daughter
drowning in alcohol
seeking the metaphysical
calling back in time
my family line
a forgotten leaf
on the familia’s tree
to be a Pocha or not to be
because I’m my mother’s daughter
drowning in depression
seeking a connection
recovering memories
of a tierra I never knew
a forgotten trace
of ancestors in me
to be a Pocha or not to be
to Be a PocHa
or not to Be
because I’m not good enough
for here nor there
I love to hate my flag and
hate to love my creation
ashamed of Spanish in the first grade
I’m sorry, mami, I never meant to hurt you
ashamed of English in Abuela’s embrace
I know you never meant to hurt me
because I’m merging culturas
every time I breathe
crossing borders
every time I speak
split forever into one
at the edge of two worlds
the edge of possibility
to be a Pocha or not to be
because I’m finding a balance
of this cosmic raza
a fusion of color
for this mestiza
things to learn
and things to teach
the little ones in front of me
to be a Pocha or not to be
by Iris de anda
IrIs de anda is a woman of Mexican & Salvadorian descent born, raised, and currently living in Los Angeles, California.
She is a revolutionary, mother, wife, writer, activist, practitioner of the healing arts, and co-founder of the company Las
Adelitas: Moda, Cultura, Revolucion. She believes in the power of spoken word, poetry, storytelling, and dreams.
19

The cycle just keeps going...
I hear two kids argue in the hall
high-pitched middle-school tones
their voices haven’t changed yet
one is throwing insults
the other about to throw punches
zero-to-furious in 2.5 seconds
A security guard bellows
GET IN THE CLASSROOM
the boy pleads his case
but is interrupted
I DON’T CARE, JUST GET TO CLASS
the boy tries again
with the dean who’s come around the corner,
“Did you hear what he said? - He called me a
‘douche!’”
NO! GO!
is the dean’s angry
shouting
response echoing through the hall
I can almost see the boy wilt
for a split second
before he becomes cold and hard
like steel
He has been silenced.
3rd PerIod freeWrIte
I wonder
how many times throughout the day
how many days throughout his life
does this happen to him?
That evening he tries to tell his mom
about what happened
She’s watching her show
and little sister starts to cry
JR. I TOLD YOU TO WATCH HER! YOU NEVER
DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE!
20
by Jenuine
He’s distracted in class
thinkin’ about his pops
who was picked up during an ICE raid
at his job last month
he never got to say, “Goodbye,”
now mom tells him he’s
gotta be the man
his birthday got lost in the shuffle
no one stopped to remember
He’s just turned 13
Teacher catches him drifting
eyes lost out the window
shoulders slumped with responsibility
YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION, JR.! WHY EVEN
BOTHER COMING? HOW DO YOU THINK YOU’RE
GONNA PASS WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN ANSWER A
SIMPLE QUESTION!
the numbers on the board go blurry
it all just hurts so bad
he works the muscles in his jaw
to keep the tears at bay
there’s a lump in his throat
just for a moment
before he goes cold and hard
like steel
“Man, fuck you!”
WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST
GO. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS; HERE’S A
REFERRAL. GO TO THE OFFICE!
teacher roars
Teacher’s got another curriculum
this boy’s already memorized:
I’m stupid
I’m lazy
I’ll never graduate
What’s the point of trying
Maybe I’ll just be the screw-up they already
think I am

He tries to explain to the dean
who shakes his head and rolls his eyes
WELL WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS, BACK IN MY OFFICE.
WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING
WITH YOU, JR.; WHY DO YOU WASTE MY TIME WITH
YOUR EXCUSES?!
His eyes go cold and his jaw sets tight as steel
he can’t understand
that the rage he feels
is because he
has no voice.
Walking home that afternoon
he met a homie
some older kid he’s seen around
kid’s uncle was friends with his father
Jr.’s met him once or twice
“What’s up, little homie? You don’t look so good.”
Jr began to tell him
spewing with anger at first
then voice cracking with hurt later on
but here
for the first time
someone actually listened
as the homie put his arm around his shoulder
Jr. felt the weight begin to lift
He didn’t have to be the man
he didn’t have to know the answers
he didn’t have to be alone...
JennIfer aluMBaugH, known as Jenuine in the various written & spoken-word circles in which she creates, is also the
visionary behind the In the Words of Womyn project. She hosts a weekly written & spoken-word circle for womyn at Tia
Chucha’s Centro Cultural in Sylmar, CA, www.tiachucha.com, and she publishes womyn’s writings online at
www.inthewordsofwomyn.com . She is passionate about empowering all individuals to, “give sound to our story and
volume to our voice.” You may contact her at inthewordsofwomyn@gmail.com.
21

eBellIous of oPPressIve
systeMs,none of ‘eM fIt us
22
by Maria l. guillen valdovinos
2009: I couldn’t believe what I had become
Intoxicated by glamour of Western academia
All I wanted was to narrate my people’s existence
Not to become part of the system
I was told I had to give something up
but
You can’t buy or sell creativity, love, and resistance
Energy cannot be destroyed or created
Internal universes conspire
and manifest within each instance
Disillusioned
I didn’t have the words to explain what was going on inside my mind
So, I put the pen down and gathered my thoughts
I had to remove myself to survive and not think about mental suicide
Where is the knowledge in circling bubbles?
Western concepts of “examination” are pervasive
One cannot study the other, without “studying” the self
Lived experiences: Human suffering and poverty cannot be theorized
Outside of the ivy tower walls, ourstory is on our side
Deeply rooted in the beauty and strength of our people
I am here to reclaim our stories
Building community is more than just organizing; it’s about
regaining our humanity
MarIa’s Blog and affIlIated WeBsItes:
www.poesiamariarte.blogspot.com
www.foxfireartscollective.tumblr.com
www.hiphopoccupies.com
MarIa luIsa guIllen valdovInos was born in Zihuatanejo, Guerrero and economically displaced in the Pacific
Northwest in the early 90s after the North American Free Trade Agreement devastated her community’s local economy. As
an economic refugee, Maria Luisa embraces her Queer Muxe rista/Xicanista identity and her love knows no borders. Maria
Luisa utilizes visual art, painting, poetry, and storytelling to build community through the Fox Fire Arts Collective. She is
currently involved in movement building with Hip Hop Occupies to Decolonize. Maria Luisa graduated from the University
of Washington and resides in Seattle.

JOSEPHINE
Hernandez tIu
“The Rise of Feng Huang Over Lunar Rhythms”
JosePHIne Hernandez tIu (aKa Joy) is a Filipino-Chinese native Angeleno. She received her B.F.A. in Art
Photography at CSULB.Her art is influenced by the diversity, scenery and culture of Los Angeles. Her goal is to provide
inspiration to open the mind and explore the visual dimensions the universe has to offer. Past photographic works include
musicians, urban landscapes and celestial objects. Recent works include her drawing skills. She is currently working on
sharing past and current visionary art for her art blog: http://lostangelvision.tumblr.com
23

We are the 99%... in othe
24
W
e are the 99%. The
unemployed single mother,
the 67-year-old grandmother
who still has to work to survive, every
other family on each block in
foreclosure, or in default of their
mortgage, the undocumented student
trying to find sponsorship to pay for
college, those whose basic human
rights have been violated, the soldier
serving two tours in a war he no longer
believes in, the unions, teachers,
students, all races, sexes from all
religious beliefs … in other words,
the majority.

words, the majority.
Excerpt is from “Open Letter to My Children” and photos by Claudia Cano. Claudia
was born in Monterey, Nuevo Leon, Mexico. She has been raising her four children
alongside her husband Carlos. Claudia discovered her passion for photo journalism
through exposing her children social justice movements in L.A. Find out how you can
Occupy L.A. by emailing ruizcanoclaudia@yahoo.com.
claudIa cano is 36 years old, born in Monterrey Nuevo Leon México. She has been raising four kids alongside her
husband Carlos for 17 years. She is an aspiring self-taught photographer with a lot to learn. In 2011, she discovered her
passion in photo journalism, documenting her children at the Occupy protests in Los Angeles.
25

I am the man who set himself on fire to protest injustice
I am the man and woman one September day
who responded to a Tweet
to Occupy Wall Street
and actually took a stand for the rest of us
I am the brown and yellow woman
who’s going blind from making brand merchandise
for giant corporations she can never afford or wear
I am the young brave brown warrior
previously incarcerated
who cannot find a job or a place in society
I am the hungry woman
who cannot feed her children
because there isn’t enough for the poorest 1 percent
I am the silver-haired man in a nursing home
who cannot remember the days when people mattered
and corporations were not people
I am the soldier returning home to no victory parade
or with limbs or hopes or nights of restful sleep
I am the child dumbed down, vaccinated and left behind
to live a life of indentured servitude
I am the sex worker kidnapped and enslaved
to cater to the perversions and rituals of the 1 percent
I am an American
who believed in the American Dream,
the ideals of the Constitution
who feels a hole in the heart
26
I aM tHe 99 Percent
by Josefina lopez
And I am also half of the sky,
but owner of only 20 percent of the earth,
with freedom less than 1 percent of the time
between the hours of sunlight
But I am also the 99 percent who knows
I am already a whole person,
with undeniable human and divine rights
to feel loved, valued and liberated
not just right now, today, but tomorrow and
forever—
And this is I know
because my heart tells me so
And for this I’ll fight
100 percent of the time
Even if they “sic” dogs on me and hose me with
hate
cut me in pieces,
shred me to nothing,
rob me of every ounce of humanity,
reduce me to blood and dust ...
“When you are already whole
no one can hurt you,” God whispers into my soul
Do what you must—
Allow good and the light to triumph over evil
This I know,
because my heart tells me so!
And this I know,
because my heart tells me so!
JosefIna loPez, Founding Director, started CASA 0101 in 2000. Having grown up in Boyle Heights, her vision was to bring live theater
and her educational and cultural experiences to the predominately Spanish-Speaking immigrant community of Boyle Heights. Her play,
Real Women Have Curves, went on to become an HBO film in 2002. Ms. Lopez continues to support, inspire and teach at CASA 0101. With
over 80 professional productions of her plays throughout the United States, Josefina Lopez is one of today’s preeminent Chicana Writers.
Her first play, Simply Maria, reached its 20 year anniversary in September 2006. Ms. Lopez has won several awards, including a Gabriel
Garcia Marquez award from the Mayor of Los Angeles in 2003. She is also the Founder of the Boyle Heights Latina Independent Film
Extravaganza (BHLIFE). Ms. Lopez has an MFA in screenwriting from the prestigious UCLA Film and Television school. For more
information about Josefina Lopez, go to www.josefinalopez.com.

tHe Hunger reMaIns
Today, at this moment,
I feel,
neither man, nor wombyn,
but the experiences,
my lived experiencias
me dicen, me cuentan,
la gender que es,
which is that - LA, SHE, FEMENINA,
Astuta wanted puta,
querida y amada mama
una muxer,
“bien hecha y derecha”
como dice mi ama.
These lived experiences
make me who i am
a Xicana Muxer,
Brown and Proud!
(pero mas blanquita que brown)
cafe con leche,
my liquid dreams
esspresso y cremoso,
pero mas fluid que nada.
(I laugh silently inside)
For the person I have discovered.
Long since lost
pero encuentra de vuelta.
These lived experiences
cuentan de mi.
But long been missing
un pedasito de jiz
To chalk out
J-U-S-T-I-C-E
and
F-R-E-E-D-O-M
Long since gone
and still, the hunger,
unsatiated remains.
by Michelle Mojica
27

My name’s KrIstyn and last year I moved to Los Angeles from
Kearny, NJ with my girlfriend Coleen and our 3 cats (named
Monster, Edith, Elvira) and one bunny (Chucky…AKA Chuckles…
AKA High Top Chuck…AKA CHUCK!!).
We have a little apartment in Silver Lake and I’m pretty sure Silver
Lake, and LA in general, is one of the most perfect places on earth.
Everywhere I look is palm trees, cool stores, flowers, and art. Plus
every building is a different crazy color! I love it.
Back home in NJ, I was working as a veterinary oncology assistant.
It was one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. Now I’m working as a
veterinary technician in the emergency room of another animal
hospital out in LA. Working in an ER is hilarious, sad, dramatic,
hard, and rewarding. I love it even when I go home exhausted. I’m
hoping to either stay in the veterinary world or do something with
tv/film production or animation/cartooning.
My top interests and hobbies are drawing, music, seeing bands
play, reading, photography, animals, juggling, comedy/improv,
pepsi Max, clever sitcoms, and staring into space.
KrIstynscorsone@gMaIl.coM
28

selectIons froM dIary coMIc
“you don’t get tHere froM Here”
30
by carrie Mcninch

carrIe McnIncH is a Los Angeles native and L.A.-based cartoonist known for her ongoing daily cartoon diary called
“You Don’t Get There From Here.” She started her diary comic in 2006 and has been churning them out since, printing
and mailing them herself to loyal followers in exchange for cash, espresso beans and stamps. Carrie is not new to the
world of indie zines and comics. She has done comic strips in the late ‘80s through the early ‘90s on the lifestyle of
women in music for such zine publications as Alarm Clock and Not My Small Diary. Carrie was also in a rock band called
Geko that was comprised of two women and a drum machine.
When Carrie is away from her drawing table, she is on the hunt for the perfect espresso blend – currently, it’s Red Bird
Espresso – and makes cappuccinos at home. Otherwise she will be out, usually at her favorite café, having a cappuccino.
31

HoW cancer led to My
ever-evolvIng food cHoIces
by dolly lin
It seems so long ago, but at the same time, it feels like yesterday. I was diagnosed with papillary
carcinoma, a form of thyroid cancer, the day after my brother’s wedding in 2007. It was surreal
to experience numbing fear less than 24 hours after feeling pure joy on my brother’s big day.
For a period of six months, I was constantly battling severe colds, bronchitis, and pneumonia.
Because my primary care physician was always busy, I saw nurse practitioners each time. I
noticed a lump on my neck that grew bigger and bigger, but no one performed standard head
and neck exams so I didn’t feel the need to worry. The last time I went in to be treated for
bronchitis, the attending physician was startled to see the large lump on my neck. She asked if
anyone had done head and neck exams on my previous visits. I said no, she did the exam, and
immediately scheduled me for a biopsy. It tested positive for cancer.
After complete surgical removal of my thyroid, I began researching thyroid cancer and joined an
online support group. My endocrinologist and otolaryngologist suspected prolonged radiation
exposure to be responsible for my cancer. However, I think it’s my weak immune system,
combined with my over-consumption of processed soy and artificial colors and preservatives
that led to the development of my illness. I had been a strict vegetarian since 1997 and thought
that just because I didn’t eat meat, I was immune to major illnesses. I also avoided buying
organic produce as it was costlier. Most of all, I had an insatiable sweet tooth and didn’t think
twice about indulging in chocolate and cookies almost everyday.
The cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes so I required additional surgeries — three
lymph node dissections in 2008 and one outpatient procedure in 2009 to repair my vocal cords.
Despite the vigilance of my team of doctors, the tumors kept resurfacing. As a result of multiple
surgeries in my neck, too much scar tissue had built up and more surgery wouldn’t be an option.
My otolaryngologist referred me to a radiation oncologist. Three months later, I underwent
external beam radiation therapy. It occurred five days a week for six consecutive weeks. The
side effects were horrendous. My skin was burned and the good bacteria inside my mouth died,
leading to numerous sores and bleeding gums. The radiation beams also “fried” my esophagus,
causing debilitating pain when I attempted to swallow food and even water. To manage my pain,
I consulted with a Natural Medical Doctor (NMD) who prescribed me high doses of vitamins to
strengthen my immune system. I also had Vitamin C infusions. The very first infusion healed
my mouth sores overnight and allowed me to swallow food without pain for the first time in
weeks. My NMD explained that the infusions simply brought my vitamins and minerals back to
pre-radiation levels which helped my immune system repair the damages caused by radiation.
It was then that I realized the healing powers of nutrition.
My employer of seven years had fired me by mail while I was recovering from the initial surgery
in 2007. I began interviewing for jobs six months later but did not get any offers. For two years,
I volunteered at the hospital where I had my first surgery. Twice a week, I took chemotherapy
patients to their assigned rooms and brought them snacks and whatever extra bedding they
requested. Many of them were aware that I was a former patient and a vegetarian. They often
32

asked me what kinds of food I eat so I gave them recipes and suggestions on what immuneboosting
foods to eat during treatment. I baked vegan cookies for the nurses and even some
patients sampled the cookies.
I became acquainted with vegan bloggers and cookbook authors who educated me on “the dirty
dozen” (a list of the most pesticide-laden fruits and vegetables) and artificial food additives.
The conventionally-grown produce I ate had the highest concentration of pesticides. FD&C
Yellow #5, an artificial food coloring present in a lot of the candy and chips I frequently snacked
on, is directly linked to the development of thyroid cancer. I immediately switched to organic
produce and food with all-natural ingredients. Friends on the raw vegan lifestyle advised me to
consume more alkaline foods and fewer acidic foods to maintain pH balance. Vegetables and
non-sweet citrus are alkaline, while animal protein, sugars, starches, and caffeine are acidic. I
was eating mostly acidic foods.
I began cooking more meals. I bought most of my produce from certified organic farmers. I
also invested in a Vita-Mix blender which macerates fruit and plant fibers so I was able to
enjoy antioxidant-packed juices and velvety smoothies at home. I tried to limit my soy intake
to a couple of times per week, but it was a challenge. I attempted to cook organic tempeh
(fermented soy is a far healthier soy product) but it wasn’t ever tender enough. I hosted
vegan potlucks every few months which introduced me to innovative recipes that my friends
developed: cardamom-scented chili, wild rice and mango salad, avocado parfaits, lasagna with
cashew ricotta, sweet potato kale salad, chocolate stout cupcakes, and many more.
Living with cancer has influenced my dietary changes. Although I’m mostly vegan, I decided
not to go fully vegan because of my reliance on a myriad processed soy products. I started
buying organic free-range eggs, grass-fed butter, cheese, and kefir, which I enjoy in moderation.
In recent months, I became interested in vegan gluten- and soy-free cooking. I had a lot of
misconceptions about vegetarian and vegan food being 100% healthy. There are such things
as vegetarian and vegan junk food. I’m still learning about what foods I should eat more of and
what to limit my consumption.
useful WeBsItes
http://thyca.org/
http://crazysexylife.com/
http://urbanvegan.net/
dolly was born in Los Angeles and currently lives near Disneyland with her husband and two kittens.
She enjoys baking vegan cookies and volunteering at a no-kill feline shelter.
33

evIeW on pariah
reclaIM on queer
Heartbreak opens onto the sunrise. For even
breaking is opening and I am broken.
This is the opening line to a poem featured in
the contemporary drama, “Pariah,” which was
written by Adepero Oduye’s character, Alike.
“Pariah” made its world premiere at the 2011
Sundance Film Festival. It is the feature-length
expansion of writer/director Dee Rees’
award-winning 2007 short film of the same
name. Among its growing accolades,
cinematographer Bradford Young was honored
with the U.S. Dramatic Competition Excellence
in Cine ah-lee-keh), a 17-year-old African-
American woman who lives with her parents
Audrey and Arthur (played by Kim Wayans and
Charles Parnell) and younger sister Sharonda
(Sahra Mellesse) in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene
neighborhood. She is a high school senior and
poet who dreams of finding comfort in her
own skin.
As the story opens, Alike is quietly but firmly
embracing her queer identity. With the
sometimes boisterous support of her best
friend and butch (or bucha, or buxa) mentor
Laura (Pernell Walker), Alike is especially
eager to find a girlfriend. At home, her parents’
marriage is strained and there is further
tension in the household whenever Alike’s
development becomes a topic of discussion.
Pressed by her mother to befriend a colleague’s
daughter, Bina (Aasha Davis), Alike finds Bina
to be unexpectedly refreshing to socialize with
in comparison to the wild escapades Laura
pulls her into.
Never trusting how much she can confide in her
family, Alike strives to get through adoles cence
with grace, humor, and tenacity—sometimes
succeeding, sometimes not, but always
moving forward.
34
friends, culture, and the reality of the society
we live in has left us emotionally battered
and, many times, physically scarred as well.
Alike’s poem resonated with me. we don’t
choose who we are attracted to, the act of
choosing on our own volition can be liberating
yet terrifying, especially when the reality can
also be dangerous.
I am broken. I am broken open.
by Brieanne Buttner
My spirit takes journey. My spirit takes flight,
and I am not running, I am choosing.
For many queers of color, coming out is a
process that challenges one’s core identity and
can be an ongoing process. Navigating family,
I appreciated being able to see this film at
my favorite theater in Los Angeles, The Vista,
as well as at the Los Angeles premiere at the
Village at Ed Gould Plaza, an extension of
the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. I
was able to experience the film along with
people who, like myself, have created their
own safety net in the queer people of color
(QPOC) communities nestled throughout the
city. Viewers not only indulged in the beauty
and richness of the film, but were able to
collectively remember pieces of their own
coming-out process on screen. In the Q&A
session following the film, audience members
were able to share the intensity and emotion
this beautiful film brought out of them. At
the after-party following the premiere, fellow
movie goers and several cast members
celebrated the magnificence of our resistance,
our emergence, and our existence in the face
of our challenges.
Breaking is freeing. Broken is freedom. I am
not broken. I am free.
FOR MUCH MORE,
go to http://focusfeatures.com/pariah
BrIeanne Buttner is a person who identifies as a queer xicana. She has lived in Boyle Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles for
the last seven years and loves dancing, hanging out, laughing and using her brain.
brieanne.buttner@yahoo.com

Meant to Mentor
My exPerIence MentorIng tHe
lgBtq youtH
I am a woman. I am a lesbian. And I am proud.
I embrace my sexual orientation like I embrace my lover.
I admire my sexual orientation like I admire my inner strength.
And I love my sexual orientation like I love my life.
It was not always this way.
by taylor spining
Growing up in Orange County, I saw first-hand how a bigoted, discriminatory society works. If
it is good at anything, it sure knows how to make one feel less than. As I walked down a busy
street, fathers would pull their daughters closer to them as I walked past them in my tattered
jeans and pierced lip on the sidewalk. Day after day, these caring, loving parents would
protect their children from me, and from the contagious disease called homosexuality. High
school wasn’t much different. As I walked through the hallways, my classmates who smiled at
me when I walked by would turn to their friends after I had passed and make bets on whether
or not I admitted I was a lesbian yet. It was hard not to notice the sideways glances when I
complimented a girl on her hair or her new shoes. I must have been hitting on every single girl
that I talked to.
Experiencing instances like these on a daily basis really had a negative impact on the image
that I had of myself. I internalized what other people thought of me and viewed myself as
they did – a punk ass gay kid who was unworthy of happiness. And so I fled as soon as I
graduated from high school. I fled far, far away and ended up in Northern California. Little
did I know that I had done nothing to fix the problems. I had the same problems and the
same unhappiness. The only difference was that this time I didn’t know anybody and my only
support system was back home in Orange County.
At around the same time, gay teen suicides started to appear in the news. Again. And again.
And again. Day after day, I was confronted with the news that yet another gay youth had
taken their life because of bullying. As they saw it, they had two options. They could remain a
member of a society that does everything in its power to convince them that who they love or
what they feel is wrong. Or, they could end the pain and suffering. Those teenagers chose the
latter. As saddened as I was that these kids were in so much pain and saw no other way out, I
was envious. I was envious because they no longer felt the pain. I felt the pain.
I would sit in my dorm room in Northern California, alone, turn on Jeff Buckley’s version of
“Hallelujah,” and drag my dull Swiss army knife across my skin, making lacerations that were
intended to relieve my pain. Before I knew it, I had the word “FUCK” jaggedly carved into my
stomach. That was exactly what I was feeling. I was fucked. Sometimes I would think about
how I would probably end up on the news next. Breaking news. Yet another gay teenager took
their life today. No word yet from the parents. A brief moment of silence would be allowed
by the newscaster before she was on to the next piece of news. And just like that, the world
would go on. The people watching would go back to their dinner. But I would be gone.
By some miraculous miniscule amount of willpower that I had left, I moved back home to face
my problems and get the help that I needed. I took the time to confront what I was running
away from. It was the most difficult thing that I have ever experienced, but from it came an
35

immense amount of inner strength and acceptance. As soon as I completely accepted myself,
it was like my eyes opened for the first time to the love and support that had always been in my
life. I realized that my internal conflict stemmed from my internalization of society’s views of
me as a lesbian. I also realized that I was not alone. Nobody is ever alone. No one ever has to
struggle by themselves. As a result of this inner transformation, I realized that I had silenced
myself. I had been silent for all of those painful years and that was the reason that I felt so
alone. But I had, and always have had, something to say. I had silenced a voice that maybe,
just maybe, could have been the guiding light for somebody who was going through the same
problems and needed to hear that they too were not alone.
The opportunity to share my voice came during my first quarter as a transfer student at
CSULA. The Gender and Sexuality Resource Center started a pilot program called the Pride
Mentorship Project, which was an idea that was formed as a response to the gay teen suicides.
The coordinators, Chaz Ashley and Denise Carlos, put this plan into action with the intention
of reaching high school students in East Los Angeles who were either questioning their own
sexuality or interested in becoming allies. These students would be interacting with CSULA
students who identify as LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning) and
having dialogue to explore their own self-identity in a safe environment. I took a huge risk by
applying to be a part of this project, not really knowing what I was getting into, but definitely
being willing to commit myself to making a difference in the greater community. I felt that since
I had come to a sense of acceptance, I wanted to help others do the same. I didn’t want anyone
else to feel as alone as I had felt when coming out. Essentially, I wanted to be the out and proud
mentor that I never really had until I came to terms with my own sexuality. When I learned that
I was one of the ten students selected, I was oblivious to the fact that my participation in this
project would completely change my life.
After a few sessions of training, we prepared for our first Saturday meeting where we would meet
and interact with the high school kids for the first time.
The building where we met was like a loft straight out of New York City. A huge, creaky staircase
led up to a vast open room with wooden floors and red-brick walls. There were huge windows
that overlooked Los Angeles, and allowed the sun to shine into the room, illuminating everything
in its path. As the mentors set up, I couldn’t help but notice an excited, positive energy in
the room – something spectacular was going to happen. As the high school students arrived,
the positive energy was offset by a nervousness that everyone felt. We started off with a few
activities to get warmed up and as the day went on, moved on to deeper and more complex
issues regarding ourselves. One memorable moment was when we examined the different
intersections of our being. Race. Gender. Sexuality. Religion. What were we most proud of?
What were we least proud of? What area is your family most supportive of? What are they least
supportive of? I learned a lot about myself and was forced to think about things that I had never
really paid attention to, such as whether or not I was actually proud of my gender or my race.
More importantly, however, I learned a lot about other people and their experiences and their
backgrounds. I felt honored to be in a room with students and mentors who felt comfortable
enough to be open and honest about themselves and who were brave enough to open up to
people who they had just met a few hours prior.
One of my favorite moments that day was the coming out panel. Several of the mentors,
including myself, had prepared to tell their coming out story to the high school students, in
hopes of reaching out to someone who might also be going through the same struggles. As I was
telling my own story, I noticed how people were actually listening. In their eyes I saw acceptance
and warmth, but most of all I saw gratitude. It felt as though they empathized with every
emotion that I felt as I was coming out and as a result, I felt as if I was impacting them in a way
36

that I never had allowed myself to do before. I had allowed myself to be vulnerable. Even more
significant, however, was getting to hear the other mentors tell their own stories. I felt their
anguish and their confusion. Everyone in the room suffered with them as they were pining for
acceptance or sympathizing with them as they were trying to overcome their self-hatred. After
that moment, there was a noticeable change in the room, and when the students started talking
about how they felt after hearing those stories, I knew that we made a difference that day.
Tears ran down everybody’s face as each one relayed how appreciative they were for us having
shared our stories to them with the intention of making them feel less alone in the world. They
expressed how we showed them that it is possible to be open and accepting of oneself, while
also being happy and successful in college and beyond.
The following Saturday we went back and, this time, it was time for the students to share their
stories. They shared the different events and conflicts within their own lives and discussed
them in a safe area. It felt good knowing that we might possibly have been the only ones who
ever asked these kids to share their stories and might possibly had been the only ones willing to
listen. Each and every story that was told that day has become a part of me. I will always hold
each story close to my heart. These young adults are probably unaware of just how much their
stories have affected my life forever.
The Pride Mentorship Project made me realize that I hold power. I can tell my own story and
listen to other people’s stories in order to unite as one. I can use my voice to make a difference,
even if that difference is small. As a mentor, I felt that I was able to reveal a light at the end of
the tunnel for someone else. Regardless of how dim it may seem now, it is, and always will be
there. I encourage anyone who feels comfortable in their skin to help someone else out. When
a person is coming out or discovering themselves and someone else knows exactly the feelings
that they are feeling and has been through the situations that they are going through, it makes a
difficult internal struggle a little bit more bearable.
It is important for me to remember that each day I learn something new about myself. Each day
is just another piece of my life journey. I am still learning and growing. We all are. That allows
everyone to not only be a mentor to someone, but also to be on the opposite end of it and to look
up to someone else.
If you are struggling with anything, you are not alone. We are struggling together.
If you are scared to come out, you are not by yourself.
If you identify as someone who is not of the heteropatriarchal norm, there is nothing
wrong with you.
If you are seeking support, it is out there. All you have to do is ask.
You are beautiful.
Someone out there loves you. I love you.
The world is waiting for your voice. It’s ready for you when you’re ready to share it.
taylor sPInIng is an English major at CSULA and plans on living the life of a struggling writer after
college. She is active in social justice issues and passionate about working towards equality for
everyone. In her spare time, she enjoys going to rock shows, getting tattoos, and playing with her
English bulldog, Joplin. She currently lives in Carson but plans on moving to New York
after graduating.
37

on BeIng aWKWard and BlacK
by rhonda Mitchell
and then there are the Black girls that don’t fit. They’re not the “vidi” pretty, all
wavy tresses and shiny legs, they’re not all sternness and sass with a hair-trigger
mouth and temper. They don’t “Dougie” or “Shuffle.” They have a way of looking
surprised and bored simultaneously. They sing Sara Bareilles or Sweet Honey
in The Rock songs really loud, and with feeling. They sometimes treat ordinary
conversations like mini debates. They tend to say hi a lot, and their speech tends to sound
abrupt or abrasive, and whenever someone tries to put them into the box marked “Black Girl,”
it’s usually ill-fitting, elbows and knees poking out this way and that.
It’s almost as if she’s a mythical creature. You know she exists, but you hardly ever see her, sort
of like Sade or Octavia Butler, back in the day.
Of course we would find her online, blogging quietly in the background on Quirky Black Girls,
one of the only blog spaces of its kind devoted to overly intellectual and artistic Black women.
It’s not unusual that we’ve found in her books, most notably 32 Candles by Ernessa T. Carter
about a nerdy girl who is mercilessly teased in school and gets her comeuppance by the
story’s end. However, when it comes to the big screen, she’s usually behind the scenes—think
filmmakers Julie Dash, Kasi Lemmons or Ava DuVernay. While shaking and sassing, supporting
and being oh-so-strong on the big screen is the de rigueur image of black women, being nerdy,
geeky or intellectual isn’t.
Until now
Issa Rae and writing partner Tracy Oliver debuted Adventures of Awkward Black Girl in February
2011 as a web series. Issa, who plays the main character, Jay, is brown skinned and sports a
natural, short afro. She doesn’t employ a “blackcent” or maintain the requisite “cool.” She is
refreshingly awkward in her relationships with her coworkers, in her dating life and with her
friends. In an October 2011 interview on CNN, Rae cited the lack of diverse images onscreen
as the impetus for creating this character: “I didn’t really see myself represented on screen,
or in television or in film, and I love these shows like Parks and Recreation, like 30 Rock, just
because they have this awkward sense of humor—like Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld—these
shows represent my sense of humor. So I thought it would be funny to have this series based
on this African American girl who goes through everyday awkward situations. I decided to stop
sitting on it after reading an article, ‘Where’s the Black Liz Lemon?’”
Liz Lemon, brilliantly played by actor Tina Fey, is the main character of NBCs 30 Rock. Issa Rae
was referring to an April 2010 article in Clutch magazine that said, “Since the end of the Family
Matters sitcom and the departure of Jaleel White as Urkle, there has not been a notable black
nerd on television. Even with all her years at Princeton, the chatty Sandra Huxtable was the
closest we have ever come.”
So Hollywood, I challenge you: invest in the Black nerdy girl. I think my little sister and all the
other less-than-put-together brown girls growing up now deserve a heroine who shows them
that the awkward journey is not theirs alone. She’s a rich character with loads of character
development and complex storylines to boot.
38

Complexity is the key word here. In a January 2012 NewsOne for Black America interview,
filmmaker DuVernay talks about the lack of complex characters in Hollywood and how the
industry has become comfortable to the point of being creatively static. When it comes to
films with Black characters, the studios’ tendency is to green-light films that are historical or
comedic. DuVernay says, “There’s more to our lives than that.”
Yes, there is.
I agree with Issa Rae. In a September 2011 interview on NPR, she said, “I think the fact that
she is Black but the concepts are universal speaks volumes. Like, it shows that you can have a
Black—just because she’s a Black female lead doesn’t mean you can’t relate to her. And I think
that that speaks more to mainstream media because there just is this sort of perception that,
you know, if a Black person is in the lead, then it has to be for Black people. It has to only relate
to them. And the fact that she goes through situations that we all go through is important. And
I think she is awkward not only in a sense because she is just, you know, socially inept in some
situations but also because she doesn’t fit this mainstream Black persona or archetype.”
Seeing yourself, on screen, on stage, in print, validates you. It validates your experience and
your contributions. It helps you see where you fit in the puzzle of humanity. Black women have
always struggled to control their image. We’ve fought and embraced the tragic mulatto, the
jezebel, the mammy and the sapphire images, using them to our advantage when we had a door
to get into and trying to walk away from them as we gained more equality and esteem. It hasn’t
always been easy. And here in the Information Age, standing on the precipice of what might
become a post-racial country, able to control a media source with no gatekeeper, well ain’t
that good news? I welcome the images that artists like Issa Rae and Dash and DuVernay want
to exploit. I welcome a more complex definition of “Black Girl” than the current entry. Ntozake
Shange’s “Dark Phrases” poem says it perfectly.
somebody/anybody
sing a black girl’s song
bring her out
to know herself
she’s been…
closed in silence so long
she doesn’t know the sound
of her own voice
her infinite beauty
sing her sighs
sing the song of her possibilities
sing a righteous gospel
the makin’ of a melody
let her be born
& handled warmly.
rHonda MItcHel is a former PEN Emerging Voices fellow, and a recipient of the World Stage Anansi
Writer’s Workshop Poetry Prize. Rhonda has also written an advice column and covered the
entertainment beat as a journalist. She writes about awkwardness, relationship issues, sex, politics and
religion and is the mom of a beautifully awkward 12-year-old soccer-playing dynamo. She is currently
upset with the stripper chic and pushing the black nerd aesthetic.
39

We’re not Just savIngtHe
Planet,We’re savIngourselves
I grew up with a mother that always emphasized minimizing waste and respecting the planet
we live on. We knew better than to throw a recyclable in the trash or throw a piece of trash on
the ground. In elementary school, I moved from California to Texas. We were the weird family in
Texas, with a stinky compost pile that volunteered to run Earth Days at school and plant trees on
streets. This is when I realized that the way my mom cared about the planet might have not been
the norm. In college, I realized that I wanted to educate people about how to live with the planet
and future generations in mind so I joined the environmental club. Then, my university decided
to open an Office of Sustainability on campus. It was perfect timing and I was lucky enough to
be one of the first student employees of the office. Seeing the change we made on campus was
inspiring. Students were using the water bottles we were giving out, they were
doing recycling events all over campus, they were eating at the vegetarian dining halls and
overall interest in the sustainable activities on campus began to increase. I felt like I was making
a difference. I knew at that moment that sustainability was my passion.
I got the idea for my blog, Low Impact Betty, when I did a six-week project for my sustainability
class at UCLA. No Impact Man, Colin Beavan, inspired my project. I went six weeks without any
new purchases, no individually packaged items, using the lowest amount of energy possible
& creating the least amount of waste possible. Basically, I lived as sustainably as I could. I
learned a lot about what is easiest to cut out and what isn’t. But most importantly, I learned
what things I really needed in life, which isn’t very much. Convenience has always been shed
in a positive light in our society, but the part left in the dark is what convenience is doing to our
planet. The waste that is created from disposable everything, from toothbrushes to contacts to
make-up wipes—everything we throw “away” goes somewhere. Just because you don’t see it
doesn’t mean its not there. Low Impact living is about not always taking the easy way out and
processing what happens to your trash after it leaves your home. It’s about not being extreme
about anything, but understanding that everything we do has some impact on the earth and
each other. We can’t save everything, and some damage has already been done, but we can still
make a difference to help planet Earth regain its health.
Here are some things you can save:
• Money: Make your own products and consume less.
• Stress: Work less by spending less on material possessions.
• Mess: Have a more spacious home environment with less clutter
that will keep your mind free and clear.
• Health: Making your own products will ensure you what
ingredients are going in your home and on your body, leaving toxic
chemicals out and nourishing minerals in.
• Resources: By consuming less you will use fewer resources and produce less waste.
• Future Generations: The resources we save will give future generations a better
chance at a plentiful life. Hopefully our behavior will trickle down and make it pos
sible for more and more generations to live on this planet.
Knowledge is power and if we share it in a way that people understand and relate to, we can
change things. I’m going to share some of my thoughts with you, in hopes that you will share it
with others.
40
by Monica schrock

Many people look at sustainability like this:
• Consuming less
• Wasting less
• Driving less
• Bathing less
• Living less
• Worrying more!
I look at it a like this:
• Spend less
• Work less
• Smother myself less
• Poison myself less
• Struggle less
• Live more!
So here are some specifics on what it means to live Low Impact. Basically, the only environment
you can really control is your own. So start with your body. Eat foods that make you feel
energized, that come from pesticide-free farms as close to you as possible. Make your own
personal care products or buy products with non-toxic ingredients to avoid possibilities of being
poisoned by a cosmetics industry that regulates itself. Make your own cleaning products so that
the air you breathe inside your home isn’t more toxic than the air outside.
It has been estimated that by 2020, household emissions will exceed tailpipe emissions as the
number one source of smog in Los Angeles.
Making your own products saves you money, cuts down on packaging and keeps from toxins
entering your body. This all contributes to my favorite aspect of the low impact lifestyle, voting
with your dollar. We all have several voices, and the voice we seem to use most frequently is
our wallet. What kind of products you spend your money on speaks volumes to your values and
what human behavior you support. Do your research when making a big purchase, and see what
the corporation that makes that product values as well. Where you spend your money speaks to
corporations in a big way. In fact, it may be the only language they speak.
I’m not talking about minimalism, but it’s been about living large for too long. Consumption has
become the norm. Everybody owns everything. Does everyone need to own a vacuum? Or a lawn
mower? I think you could make a bigger impact by sharing with your neighbors and only owning
things that are necessary. We could make an even bigger impact by not judging or comparing our
lifestyle to someone else’s, but simply educating and leading by example. Living your own life
with such joy will eventually get the people around you to notice your sustainable lifestyle and
see it as normal.
I’m determined to give consumers the tools they need to lower their impact on the planet and
show them that they do have the power to influence how businesses operate. We have that
power—it’s time to use it.
Beauty and cleaning recipe books:
Make Your Place: Affordable, Sustainable Nesting Skills by Raleigh Briggs
Do It Gorgeously: How to Make Less Toxic, Less Expensive, And
More Beautiful Products by Sophie Uliano
MonIca scHrocK is a nerd at heart. She’s also a tattoo enthusiast, social media advocate and
Texafornian. You can catch her drinking an iced coffee and reading a comic book (probably Tank Girl) at
any given moment. She hearts our planet and gives tips on how to lower your impact on her website, Low
Impact Betty. Twitter: @Schrockness
http://lowimpactbetty.com
41

42
ovas unIte 2012
by ariel climer
Back in September of 2011, I was invited by my friend to
an event at the Echoplex called Mucho Libre, a concert
and community event gathering together screen printers,
crafters, bike enthusiasts, and fans of cumbia, Son
Jarocho, and rock. There, I first met some of the wombyn
called the Ovarian Psycos, women who gather together
at each full moon to celebrate womanhood, to be in
solidarity with other wombyn and to promote the healthy,
fun, and political act of cycling. This full moon, I finally
participated in a ride! The all-wombyn and wombynidentified
crew rode from Pasadena at Memorial Park
station to Solidarity Ink, a new artist collective and
organizing center in Lincoln Heights.
I began the ride by taking the Metro to Pasadena. I rode to the purple line at Wilshire/Western
and spoke with an older man on the train who was also a cyclist. He was surprised to hear of an
all women’s ride and wished me good luck and a good time. I speed walked myself and my bike
over to the Gold Line, almost forgot to buy another ticket, and then hopped on, crossing past a
handful of kids riding the Gold Line in their underwear. Were they part of a flash mob? I didn’t
ask and instead just admired their statement.
The Gold Line cruised up the slow slope out of downtown, past Chinatown and into Highland
Park. At one stop, a wombyn with a bicycle got on. We caught eyes and her dark long hair and
intense yet excited demeanor made me wonder, would we be flying through the night together
soon? Another wombyn guided her bike on to the train at the next stop. Our eyes crossed paths,
and I smiled and nodded what’s up. All three of us were spaced out evenly across the car in
the train, me in the “elbow” as I like to call it, where bike or strollers often sit, the other two
wombyn at the doors, standing tall nears the brushed metal poles. I felt the strength of the two
wombyn standing regally with hands balancing delicately yet firmly upon the handlebars and
seats of their bikes.
We rolled out and up the steps at Memorial Park station to find a few more wombyn waiting for
us. At the top of the steps we found space to chill, and we waited and watched as more trains
dropped off more sisters. Soon, we were 37 strong. We pumped up tires, adjusted seats, and
checked for proper gear. “Make sure you use your lights if you have them!”
We circled up for stretches and did some beautiful reaches up toward the moon, some
stretching of our powerful legs, and a lovely meditative stretch of our arms. We went over safety
rules and we were off!
The wonderful realization you have when you ride with all wombyn: you are riding with all
wombyn therefore everything is wombyn influenced. We used safe calls such as “Pothole!” for
potholes, whistles to alert of people getting too far behind or of bike malfunction, and generally
warned each other to stay to one side when one lane presented itself to us and to take up a
whole lane when two lanes were present. We obeyed traffic lights to avoid tickets. We never left

anyone behind. The existence of this truth messes with the individualistic and competitive side
of long distance bike riding that I feel has been inculcated in me by males in my lifetime. Not
that a male might leave someone behind for good, but I have definitely heard men tell me to not
be a pussy and pedal harder to make a light or to be annoyed at the people who ride slower and
are slowing everyone down or to keep up or else I will get lost. I felt the tendencies to feel and
think these values into my comments and mutterings along the ride, but instead, I stepped back
from my brain, held them in my palm and said to them, “No, you do not fit here. We are here to
take care of each other. We are only as strong as our weakest member. We ride as one.”
All eyes of the wombyn were on the wombyn. We kept watch over each other. One wombyn had
problems with her bike but we had tools to fix it and did. We stopped at a liquor store. We peed
in a park. A few miles before our destination, we met with the river trail and glided along in
absolute silence under la luna tranquila. She spoke to us of blue and of white, of childbearing
and of puberty.
Our final destination brought us into the large space of Solidarity Ink. We watched a film about
the Zapatistas of Mexico and wombyn spoke to us of the need for solidarity with our brothers
and sisters down south and of the need to prepare ourselves for our own revolution. We listened
with young, old, brash, and wise ears. We soaked in one more experience where caring and
convivial living swam to the surface of our consciousnesses, mounted an aquatic bicycle, and
rode 12 miles on the open sea.
Thank you for a great first ride. I look forward to many more.
43

i
Anonymous
I am from Water Street and Archer Street
Elderly neighbors sit on porches now and watch the burning sun set.
I’m from a small, older home with a purple trim and brick sides.
I’m from paintings that hang on dirty white walls and grass that is
rarely green.
From Lisa and Greg and Macy and Pete and Rosie.
I am from whole beans and Spanish rice. From fresh produce picked
but a mile from my door.
I am from the sons and daughters of field workers, from the hands
that feed the world.
I’m from strong religious roots, from family who devoutly pray to
la virgen.
I’m from a place that is accepting of everyone.
I’m from Hanford, from Salinas, from Santa Cruz, from San Francisco
and Los Angeles.
I’m from a small town where people dream big.
I’m from a large city where I can make it happen.
44
am
Catherine Wang
I’m from a place where the big wooden grey house on Middlesex
Road and the stucco white house with red Spanish tiling on Rodoni
Court meet in one image
From Longwood cricket clubs and dry cleaning stores that give out
lollypops
From palm trees and pools in the backyard
From beat-up turquoise wooden side tables and couches that
hold memories from each time they were reupholstered and
the stacks of medical books
I’m from Gloria and Paul, Margaret, Auntie Belkis, and
Uncle Ken, Denise, grandpas and grandmas
From chicken cooked with soy sauce and brown sugar and
steaming bowls of vegetables
I’m from people who found a place of refuge and opportunity,
knowledge, education and promise
I’m from people who made their way with hard work, sweat, long
nights studying.

iam
Erika Guzman
I’m from a 100-year-old home in a historic district of Pasadena where
it always feels warm, calm and inviting.
From objects that represent my cultural background,
dance skirts, dance shoes and día de los muertos artifacts.
I am from Cathy and Oscar, Vero, Letty and Julie and
my folklorico group Huitzuil Centehua.
I am from traditions like cooking tamales together for Christmas and
spending the morning together in the kitchen preparing
a Thanksgiving meal with my mom and sisters.
I’m from “Always try harder,” “Don’t give up,” and
learn to find peace in every situation.
I am from tamales, cocidos, frijoles and tortillas.
I am from spending every Friday together with my parents and
my sisters having game night as a child.
I am from sunny days, where people hike and are adventurous.
I am from artistic expression.
From music and dance, from finding peace within myself.
Lysander Valenzuela
Where I’m from it looks like an overspill of houses,
it smells like … home.
It feels comfortable and familiar.
I’m from guitars, food and a piano.
I’m from Melchor and Hercules.
I’m from family dinner and poker nights.
Where I’m from, “mi casa es su casa.”
I’m from Catholicism—now a thing of the past.
I’m from Grandma’s rice, arroz con leche, Mom’s French toast, Mom’s
enchiladas and ribs, Mom’s everything!
I’m from that day we finally moved into our house.
Those days I spent with my cousin on the invisible swing.
Where I’m from, it’s 75 degrees.
I’m from the Sherriff’s and Metro.
I’m from the music that writes itself with my hands,
the sisters who I live to love, the friends I share my days with
and my parents who live to know my life.
45

46
MotHerHood
by lori d’angelo
In the week after my son was born, by C-section,
I remember bending down to clean up dog poop
off the carpet. Doing a phone interview for an online
job I didn’t get. My husband had to work, and
my mother-in-law, who was used to being
waited on, wouldn’t wait on me. She offered
to hold the baby, hold the baby, didn’t understand
why I had to feed him so much, nurse him so long.
I remember after we got home, I, exhausted, wanted
to turn the awful breathing monitor off and just let him
sleep. Maybe I was wrong. I remember grading papers to turn
in midterm grades and envying you, you privileged middle-class
women with your help from neighbors and your six weeks off.

the Gender & sexuality
resource Center at CsulA is
dedicated to creating safe and
respectful learning spaces,
catering specifically to the
empowerment of Womyn, men,
and the lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
transgender, and Questioning/
Queer (lGBtQ) community. We
pride ourselves in challenging
societal norms that have been
used historically to oppress and
marginalize, while raising
awareness on contemporary
issues we face.
tHe
terM
”Womyn”
The GSRC is located at
University- Student Union
5154 State University Drive, Los Angeles CA 90032.
Contact us at 323-343-5001 or look us up
at http://www.calstatela.edu/usu/ccc/gsrc
EVENTS
The GSRC is open and available to all. Please visit
us... Our doors are always open!
Check out our upcoming activities in the CSULA
University-Student Union calendar:
FEBRUARY Love Your BodY Week
MARCH WomYn’s HistorY montH
ceLeBrations
APRIL take Back tHe nigHt
APRIL Pride montH ceLeBrations
MAY distinguisHed Women’s
aWards
OCTOBER tHe cLotHesLine
Project
OCTOBER nationaL coming out daY
OCTOBER tHe Queer Wedding
NOVEMBER WomYn of coLor
conference
has been adopted to
reclaim a feminist identity that rejects patriarchal and
sexist language
Speak Up.
The World Is
Listening
WWW.calstatela.edu/usu/ccc/loudmouth

issue 20 | fall 2012
contrIButors artIsts
Jennifer alumbaugh
Brieanne Buttner
claudia cano
ariel climer
lori d’angelo
Iris de anda
erika guzman
victoria Kraus
Jeri landon
cynthia lemus
dolly lin
Josefina lopez
rhonda Mitchell
Michelle Mojica
desireé ross
Monica schrock
taylor spining
Maria l. guillen valdovinos
leia valenzuela
catherine Wang
carrie Mcninch
victoria tiff Phouangbandith
Kristyn scorsone
Josephine Hernandez tiu