Juan's Calamares Fritos - The Geriatric Gourmet


Juan's Calamares Fritos - The Geriatric Gourmet

Juan’s Calamares Fritos

This is called Calamari (plural for

Calamar……Squid) in Italian but I learned it

in Spain so this is that version. Some folks dip

the Squid in Flour first and then Eggs which

makes a different exterior (Egg Filigree) but otherwise it’s

pretty much the same anywhere.


1. Squid………as many as you want to cook.

2. Eggs…….enough to coat the Squid, I use


3. A big fat clove of Garlic

4. Flour……….enough to coat the Squid

5. Black Pepper

6. Olive Oil……..enough to deep fry

7. Lemon for garnish

8. Maybe Aioli for dipping

These days I buy the Squid already cleaned at

the Asian and Hispanic stores.

Cut the Bodies into rings.

already cut into rings.

Or buy them

However, if you are on vacation and you have

been out splashing around in the surf and some

of them got caught in your bathing suit, then

you will have to clean them yourself. You start

right where my index finger is above.

Right where my finger is pointing in the

picture above is the end of what serves the

Squid for a backbone. I’ve always wondered

how Squid invented plastic millions of years

before we came along but there it is. I call it a

quill because that’s what it looks like to me. It

is a piece of clear plastic and you have to start

here and separate it from the body.

You have to pull this thing out and it goes all

the way back to the other end of the body.

This is what it should look like if you get all of

it in one piece. If you don’t get all of it, you will have to

dig around and pick it out piece by piece.

Then you have to remove all the icky guts and

tentacles…………..ooh, yucky!

Many people go to the trouble to peel off the

skin and if you buy them already cleaned, they

will usually be peeled. It’s too much trouble

for me and I quit bothering with many years


The tentacles are edible and good so you cut

them off just a little away from the eyes.

Then mash the tentacles at the cut end and the

“beak” will pop out.

This thing is literally a beak. If you were

Captain Nemo on the Nautilus in Jules Vern’s

“Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea”,

this would be the thing that you would most

need to avoid.

You discard the beak, the quill, the guts and all

that nasty, yucky stuff for the moment. Later

when no one is looking, you can give it to

your neighbor’s cat………..or use it for fish


Now you cut the body into rings and what’s

left into little pieces.

If the tentacles are too big, you might cut them

into sections.


all is cleaned and cut, beat a couple eggs.


everything in, slosh it around and get

everything well coated. If you have guests

coming and you don’t want to fry until just

before they arrive (nice and hot), put it in the

fridge for now.

Dump some Flour in a bowel and add some

Black Pepper………..and any other spices you


paper sack.

Or use a

If you cook outside like I do, you might notice

curious onlookers. Don’t be bothered by this

and just go on with what you’re doing.

Add enough

Olive Oil to your fryer for deep

frying…………..enough to completely

immerse the Squid as you plop them in.

Add a big fat,

somewhat smashed, Clove of Garlic.

Fry the Garlic

until it’s lightly browned, remove it and put it

in whatever else you might have on the stove

that likes Garlic.

the Squid with the Flour.

Completely coat

Put in

only enough pieces at one time to make one

layer in them fryer………..don’t stack. Fry all

on high, a little at a time, until golden brown.

Serve the Calamares with, some Aioli, Lemon

Wedges, Romesco and a nice big pile of Tapas

or Antipasto.

¡Buen provecho!

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