Garlic Preparation - The Geriatric Gourmet

Garlic Preparation - The Geriatric Gourmet

Garlic Preparation

Of course, there would be no possible

chance of any kind of contentment or peace

in this Vale of Tears without Garlic.

Desolation and sorrow across a barren

landscape of shadow and fear would be all

we have to hope for without Garlic (Allium


The Japanese call Koreans the Garlic Eaters

and I usually find the best Garlic at the

Korean stores. The Red or Purple (Italian)

kind often has the bigger, fatter cloves but it

can be a little harder to peel………….not


Most folks use gadgets and doodads like

these to deal with their Garlic………….and

that’s ok.

However, purveyor of all manner of monkey

business that I am, I prefer these. I like a can

of Tomatoes or Clams or Artichoke Hearts

but any kind of can will do. The tenderizing

mallet needs to be the old fashioned kind

(not the new fancy kind) that has flat sides.

After separating the cloves, I bang them real

hard with a can of something.

This makes the peeling slip off easily.

You can pile up a pretty good gob real

quickly this way.

Then, if you cook outside like I do, you can

just blow all the refuse away.

Of course a lot of folks just smack it with

their knife but it’s easier to hit much, much

harder with a can. The rim of the can stops

the crushing at just the right spot.

Of course, you don’t always want to puree it.

If you age going to season Oil or Butter with

it, you want the pieces just coarsely chopped

because pieces that are too small will cook

too fast and burn.

I might be making Aioli, Garlic Bread or

something that needs the Garlic to be pureed.

In this case I use the mallet.

So I smash the flat side of the hammer

against the cloves with one hand.

Then I take the handle end with the other

hand and wiggle it up and down violently

and with much anger and terrible wrath.

Or you could use your thumb if you prefer.

Then to your great joy and delight, you will

discover that you have pureed Garlic.

And you can just scrap it off with your knife.

And you don’t have to be piddily pokin’

around with this thing.

And trying to get that piddily little dab of

Garlic out of those little tiny holes.

If you are making Aioli or something that

wants raw Garlic,

then you can just scrape it off your knife


Or if you are going to cook it, you just scrap

up the big chunks and dump them in with

your bigger knife.

Add your Butter or whatever………..

I usually cover it.

And because I am feeble minded and

sometimes I go down to the creek to collect

Mushrooms and forget what I’m doing,

I think it’s best to put the fire on low.

What’s important about cooking it is that

you don’t let it cook more than just starting

to brown only the slightest, wee smallest bit.

It doesn’t even need to cook this much to

flavor whatever you are doing and if it cooks

anymore, it will cause an unpleasant

taste………….like burned! And then life

will become dreary and sad.

When I cook, I always do a lot of Garlic first.

Sometimes I have more than I need so I put

the extra in freezer bags.

Squeeze out most of the air and it will keep

well frozen for a week or two.

When frozen, it will have this yellow color

but that won’t hurt it………………it’s still

good. If you go to all this trouble, you might

want to make some Garlic Olive Oil.

The main thing to remember is that what

little grace, good cheer and joy you might

find in life would not be possible without


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