DETERMINATION - SEMO Times

semo 

SOUTHEAST MISSOURI’S NEWSMAGAZINE 

times 

OF POLITICS AND CULTURE 

semotimes.com, June 17 -23 

fresh, fair, & unafraid 

DETERMINATION 

Long-time public servent, businessman 

Hardy Billington 

seeks state rep seat 

FREE! 

ALSO INSIDE: 

HELP ME HEATHER! 

Dating advice guru lays it down for 

readers in her new column. 

Page 14 

Got a question for her? 

Email askheather@semotimes.com 

MARK HER WORDS 

Ellen Bohn won’t wait. Though the 

Three Rivers Community College 

student is only 18 years old, she’s 

already authored several books and 

she’s already set to wed to the man 

of her dreams. 

Ellen Bohn. 

Page 6

news & opinion section www.semotimes.com 

2705 N. Westwood Blvd 573-778-FITT 

Now Featuring Les Mills! 

Les Mills 

BODY PUMP & BODY ATTACK 

AND COMING SOON BODY RPM 

page 2 

This week in the Times 

thumbs......................................................3 

whats up?.................................................5 

a commentary...by silence dogood........7 

opinion page............................................7 

semo dining............................................11 

semo tv review........................................11 

this week.................................................12 

ask heather ............................................14 

crossword puzzle...................................14 

SOUTHEAST MISSOURI’S NEWS-MAGAZINE OF POLITICS AND CULTURE 

the semo times 

The SEMO TIMES is published weekly along with SEMO Homes & Real Estate and The Poplar Bluff Sun by SEMO 

TIMES L.L.C. The SEMO TIMES is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for 

$1.00 payable in advance to SEMO TIMES L.L.C. No person may without written permission of SEMO TIMES L.L.C. take more than 

one copy of each SEMO TIMES edition. The entire contents of the SEMO TIMES are copyright 2009 by SEMO TIMES L.L.C. No 

portion may be reproduced in whole or part without the expressed written permission of the Publihser, PO Box 416 Poplar Bluff, MO 

63901. Subscriptions may be obtained for $75/year. Delivery will be by US Mail. Allow an additional two days for delivery. 

www.semotimes.com

www.semotimes.com News & Opinion Section 

Thumbs Up... Thumbs Down... 

It was a good week for the 

Poplar Bluff Police Department and 

the officer driving car 44 on Sunday 

afternoon. The officer rescued a 

neglected puppy from a tragic situation. 

Thanks for keeping the streets 

safe for people and pets. 

It was a bad week for Gen. 

David Patreaus. The commanding 

officer passed out during a visit to 

Capitol Hill. 

It was a good week for soccer fans. With World Cup play kicking 

off, even folks who usually don’t follow the sport are getting in the 

game. Go USA! 

It was a good week for Rainey Worley. Happy Birthday! 

It was a good week for video gamers. Nitendo just announced the 

3DS Handheld gaming system and Microsoft shared plans for a new 

Xbox 360. Anyone remember the old 8-bit Gameboy of the Sega Genesis? 

Video games sure have come a long way, baby. 

It was a bad week for the B.P., Barack Obama and Gulf of Mexico. 

With oil still pouring out, beach goers are now seeing tar balls 

forming where they should be seeing white sandy dunes. This is truly 

an ecological tragedy. 

It was a bad week for the folks 

affected by widepread flooding 

near the Missouri River. Gov. 

Nixon activated SEMA’s State 

Emergency Operations Center to 

help folks being washed out. 

It was a good week for Dr. Ben 

Adkins and the people who attended 

his recent marketing seminar. 

Good luck implemting all those new tools, and thank you, Dr. Ben, 

for sharing them with us. 

It was a good week for C.R. (Rick Carl) Woolard. The candidate 

seeking a spot in the Republican primary for State Representative 

held a great Town Hall meeting at the Bread Company on Tuesday 

night. Thumbs feels like these forums give Rick an opportunity to 

shine. Republican voters in the 154th District will have a very difficult 

decision to make in August. 

It was a good week for the folks at Newman Amusements. There 

recent dart tourney, part of the All-Star Series of Darts, brought a lot 

of people to the Bluff. Thumbs up everyone who participated. 

It was a good week for Mark Melloy and Melody Adams. Thumbs 

loves a good romance story, and we think yours is one for the books. 

Congrats on the recent engagement! 


www.semotimes.com page 3


page 4 

Determination: Billington seeks state rep nod 

Laura Isaacs 

SEMO TIMES 

The people of 154 th District know 

Hardy Billington. 

As the owner of a heating and cooling 

business, Billington made their 

homes and businesses comfortable. 

As president of the board of education 

member, he’s saved the taxpayers more 

than one million dollars. He has representative 

them at national political conventions 

and he was the man behind 

President Bush’s record-setting 2004 

visit. He served our 

country as a member 

of the National Guard. 

He’s an active member 

at his church in Poplar 

Bluff and a family man 

with three daughters 

and five grandchildren. 

The 53-year Butler 

County resident has 

also served as a member 

of the Republican 

State Committee, as 

vice chairman of the 

Republican Central 

Committee, as chairman 

of the 154 th Legislative 

District Committee 

and is on two 

advisory boards in the 

city of Poplar Bluff. 

And now he’s seeking 

to stand for the people he knows 

so well in Jefferson City as state representative. 

And despite his vast achievements 

and election aspirations, Billington remains 

modest. 

“I don’t define myself by these successes,” 

he said. 

Based on his actions and his unassuming, 

humble demeanor, Billington 

seems to define himself by his 

loyalty to his country, his conservative 

Republican ideals and his desire 

to help people. 

“I went to boot camp at Fort Leonard 

Wood. Anytime someone goes to 

boot camp, it changes their life,” Billington 

said. “But the experience I 

had changed my pride in my country 

to a desire to 

fight for it.” 

D e s p i t e 

his unpret 

e n t i o u s 

a p p r o a c h , 

B i l l i n g t o n 

is widely 

r e c o g n i z e d 

and lauded 

for his work 

brining President 

George 

W. Bush to 

Poplar Bluff 

during his 

2004 campaign.Nearly 

30,000 

p e o p l e 

showed up to 

see the president 

and Billington said the experience 

changed his life a great deal. 

“By coming here, President Bush 

showed he really cared for people,” 

Billington said. “And President Bush 

was really impressed by the people 

here.” 

After the event, Billington and 

his wife visited to the White House 

to meet the president, and have since 

received two more invitations from 

Bushes. 

During the 2008 presidential campaign, 

Billington ran the local Republican 

Headquarters. His work there 

helped him garner a spot serve as a delegate 

at the 2008 Republican National 

Convention in Minnesota and helped 

John McCain win Butler County. And 

despite the outcome of the 2008 elec- 


tion, Billington’s patriotism still influences 

him. 

“We need to support the president, 

but the country is going in the wrong 

direction,” Billington said. “Voters 

have a lot of buyers’ remorse.” 

“As Republicans, we need to 

take back the committee and the 

house,” Billington said. For more 

information about Hardy Billington 

and his campaign, visit 

www.hardybillington.com. 

www.semotimes.com



daily edition 

www.semotimes.com 

“read it here before 

they print it” 

www.semotimes.com 


Page 5

news & opinion section www.semotimes.com 

Mark her words: Teen author Ellen Bohn speaks up 

page 6 

Ellen Bohn. 

Laura Iaaacs 


Ellen Bohn won’t wait. Though 

the Three Rivers Community College 

student is only 18 years old, she’s already 

authored several books and she’s already 

set to wed to the man of her dreams. Ellen 

seems to move quickly, whether it’s from 

one obsession to the next, from novels to 

poems or from blonde to brunette. 

Ellen recently slowed down long 

enough to answer a few of our questions 

about herself, her life, what inspires her 

and her recently-released, self-published 

book “War Is War.” 

Semo Times: Tell me about yourself 

and your background. 

Ellen: … I’m from the big city in 

Pennsylvania. I don’t remember much 

about it, but my dad tells me stories all the 

time. We moved around a lot, and I lived 

in Michigan for awhile - I loved it there… 

I’m excited to move back to Pennsylvania 

when I’m done with my AA at TRCC. 

ST: Tell me about your books. What 

are they about? When were they written? 

When were they released? 

Ellen: One of my books, Gregory, 

was written the second semester of my 

sophomore year when I was living in 

Pennsylvania. It’s my pride and joy… 

I also have a small poetry collection 

available, entitled Incomplete. 

I also have a comedy / adventure 

novel available 

for purchase, but 

it’s really only 

available as a joke 

to whoever buys 

it. It’s called The 

Greatest Weapon. I 

really hope no one 

ever buys it and 

thinks it’s serious. I wrote it when I was 

thirteen. 

Another one, the first one released, 

was released immediately after I wrote 

it, entitled Themorus. I wrote it for 

National Novel Writing Month in 2009, 

which is November. It’s an experimental 

work that combines poetry and 

prose…It’s the most “out-there” of any 

of my works. 

... War Is War ... is based on the 

Columbine Massacre of 1999. Some 

facts are date-by-date and secondby-second, 

but the entire plot is a 

fabrication of a theory of mine in my 

1266 Highway B 

Poplar Bluff, MO 


Editor’s note: This is an 

abridged version for our 

conversation with Ellen. For 

more information, please see 

www.semotimes.com. 

imagination…It also draws parallels 

between their relationship and that of 

Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun as well as 

Leopold and Loeb, the gay killers from 

the 1920s. Some scenes from both of 

those relationships 

are throughout the 

book, drawing all 

their stories to a 

climax in the final 

chapter. 

ST: Why did 

you choose to selfpublish? 

Ellen: I chose to self-publish because 

it is cheap, easy, and I have complete 

control. All the promotion is up to you 

and there are no contracts -- I can delete 

a book at any time and make anything I 

want at any time. I design every single 

letter and graphic. All that is left to do is 

to promote. If you are confident in your 

works being good and not needing professional 

editing, self-publishing is the 

route to take... 

For more information or to 

purchase Ellen’s books, go to www. 

amazon.com and search by author. 

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www.semotimes.com


Opinion Page 

A Commentary... 

...by Silence Dogood 

Sometimes unothodox works 

I experienced a few unorthodox 

things this 

past week. 

First, I had the 

opportunity to 

join Dr. Ben 

Adkins for a 

marketing 

seminar. Not 

only did I enjoy 

his course, 

but I learned 

a great deal. 

Often media 

seminars 

are merely 

a breather 

in the week 

to think...mostly about things I 

could otherwise be doing, but 

this was different. I took away 

several things that we will use 

in all of our publications. If you 

are interested in increasing your 

internet presence give Dr. Adkins 

a call at 785-BACK. In the mean 

time check out our SEMO TIMES 

twitter account at twitter.com/ 

semotimes, or my personal twitter 

account at twitter.com/scot- 

trfaughn. And my follower of the 

week: @BethennyFrankel. 

Shout out to 

The Bread Co. 

for the awesome 

job catering the 

event. 

Later on 

Friday I had 

the chance to 

see Cabaret at 

the Rodger’s 

Theater. It has 

to be one of the 

most aggressive 

and challenging 

plays The Stage Co. has ever taken 

on. It was tremendous! In fact we 

are looking forward to sponsoring 

the next play based off the quality 

of the last one kudos to the director, 

the cast, and everyone involved. 

Be sure not to let the show 

end without seeing it. 

Shout out to Ron Gilliland. 

Until next week.... 

Silence Dogood 

A call to pens: Times seeks submissions 

Let your voice be heard 

We welcome your comments 

and opinions at the Semo Times. In 

order to allow equal access to all of 

our readers, here are the guidelines 

for submitting your letter to the editor 

or guest column: 

• A signature, hometown and 

phone number must accompany all 

letters to be considered for publication. 

Because space is limited, 

we cannot guarantee all submitted 

letters and guest columns will be 

published. 

• Letters should be typed and 

submitted digitally via e-mail. 

• Photos are encouraged, but 

only with proper identification and 

owner’s permission. 

• The Semo Times reserves 

the right to edit letters for clarity, 

length and libel. This protects 

both our newspaper and the writer. 

However, we never edit a letter 

just because we disagree with the 

writer’s viewpoint. 

• Letters and columns must 

observe the formal rules of spelling 

and grammar. 

• Upon submission, your 

letter or guest column becomes 

property of the Semo Times. 

• We discourage verbal attacks 

on local figures, but encourage 

criticism based on solid, citable 

facts. 

For more information or to 

submit a letter to the editor or a 

guest column, e-mail laiuraisaacs@ 

semotimes.com or scottfaughn@ 

semotimes.com. 

If you would like to share your views e-mail: 

scottfaughn@semotimes.com 



FREE LUNCH FRIDAYS 

are back! 

Check out Mayas', Las 

Margaritas' 

or the Semo Times' 

Facebook pages to find 

out how to win!

page 10 


www.semotimes.com

www.semotimes.com news & Opinion SECTION 

Every week, our roving food critics, “Dick and Jane,” will visit SEMO restaurants and nightspots 

and report their findings back to you. Dick and Jane will rate each restaurant in the following 

categories: atmosphere, service, value, entree, and dessert. One star will be terrible. Five stars 

will be first-rate. The average of the five will give the restaurant its overall SEMO Dining rating. 

Blue Moon: Cold beer, good eats 

When Dick and 

Jane think of summer, 

they think of 

grilling burgers and 

brats while sipping 

a cool brew. The 

folks at Blue Moon, 

at 7501 Highway 

67 in Poplar Bluff, 

take the work out 

of burgers and cold 

beer for you, and 

serve it up with 

a side crinkle cut 

fries, too. 

Burgers at the Blue Moon are thick, juicy and 

tasty! 

Dick and Jane visited the Blue Moon 

on a rainy Monday, and even then the 

stools at the bar were filled with friendly 

folks. Dick and Jane sat at a table, and 

were promptly greeted with friendly 

service from the 

barkeep. Food was 

prepared quickly 

and was served hot. 

Dick and Jane both 

ordered the cheeseburger 

lunch special, 

which included a giant 

burger, a heaping 

helping of French 

fries and a pickle 

spear. It was filling, 

hot and prepared 

quickly. The menu 

specializes in home-cooked goodies, so 

something there will please everyone. 

While the Blue Moon is a great 

spot for lunch by day, by night it is an 

entertainment destination boasting beer 

specials, live music, darts and pool. 

While Dick and Jane are 

likely to make another trip 

for lunch, they’re even 

more likely to stop by on 

a weekend night to play 

some pool or throw some 

darts. 

Blue Moon is open 

seven days a week from 

11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. 

SEMO Television 

Review 

‘Good Guys’ lives up to hype 

The network’s description: “In the 

special series preview old-school cop Dan 

Stark and modern-day 

detective Jack Bailey 

expose the big picture of 

small crime. Pursuing a 

routine investigation of 

a stolen humidifier, Jack 

and Dan are inadvertently 

thrust into a much 

Catch ‘The 

Good Guys’ 

at 9/8 p.m. 

Monday on 

FOX. 

larger case involving drug smugglers, 

hired assassins and a stolen green golf bag. 

The plot in a nutshell: These partners 

like all cops on the big and small screen, 

are decidedly mismatched: Jack’s a college-educated 

know-it-all while Dan’s a 

beer-soaked loose-cannon. As you might 

guess, said attitudes routinely get them in 

trouble - the former for correcting their 

bosses’ grammar and penmanship, the latter 

for taking insanely unnecessary risks. 

And rather than let them near actual policework, 

Lt. Ana Ruiz (Diana Maria Riva) 

instead tasks them with “5-8”s or ordinary 

everyday crimes, and while Dan is more 

than satisfied with simply accepting her 

thanks, Jack sees the opportunity to crack 

an actual case for once. And thus he hits up 

Liz Traynor (Jenny Wade, doing her best 

Southern belle), his ex-girlfriend in the 

D.A.’s office to run some prints - which 

ultimately prove to belong to Julius (Ron- 

Reaco Lee), a thrift store owner who’s literally 

been fencing his scores in the shop. 

He in turn has bigger problems, namely a 

drug lord named Romero (Alex Fernandez) 

who’s interested in getting back a 

golf bag Julius stole that secretly contains 

millions in cash. Before long Jack and Dan 

find themselves waist deep in the aforementioned 

mess, which also includes Pedro 

(Andrew Divoff), the world’s second 

best assassin; Escalante (Ramon Frano), 

Romero’s fed-up minion; and Dr. Kalfuss 

(Tom Amandes), a surly plastic surgeon. 

What works: The world of “The Good 

Guys” is so wonderfully colorful and ridiculous 

it’s almost Elmore Leonardian, 

if that’s even a word. Here the bad guys 

politely answer their iPhones mid-robbery, 

stay in budget hotels to save their boss a 

few bucks and dream of getting plastic surgery 

to look like Erik Estrada. 

The bottom line: Okay, let’s resume 

the excitement. All of above and Whitford’s 

moustache? Seriously folks, watch 

this one. 



Entertainment section www.SEMOTIMES.com 

SEMO 

THIS 

WEEK 

THURSDAY 

Karaoke @ The River Bar 

Newman Pool League 

FRIDAY 

n Karaoke @ Shelly’s Sports 

Bar. 

n Dance floor open @ 

Scooters II. 

n Karaoke @ Blue Moon II 

n Cosmic Bowling @ Bluff 

Lanes 

SATURDAY n Cosmic Bowling 

@ Bluff Lanes 

n Dance Floor Open @ 

Scooters II. 

n The Strayght Jacket Mafia @ 

Blue Moon II. 

SUNDAY 

n Karaoke @ Scooters II. 

MONDAY 

n Draft and wings specials @ 

Shelly’s Sports Bar. 

TUESDAY 

n Texas Hold ‘Em 

@ Westwood Billiards. 

n Karaoke 

@ Buffalo Wild Wings 

WEDNESDAY 

n 9-Ball Tournament 

@ Westwood Billiards. 

n Karaoke @ Causbie’s 

n Karaoke @ Jim and 

Jerry’s 

page 12 

North Division 

Team(s) Points 

1) Zero’s 14 

2)Cooter Brown’s 3 13 

2, Cooter Brown’s 1 12 

3) Cooter Brown’s 1 8 

Central A 

1) Westwood 1, 

Westwood 2, 

Blue Moon 1 13 

2) Jim & Jerry’s 1, 

Jim & Jerry’s 2 12 

3) Bootheel 2, 

Pop’s Bar & Grill 11 

Central B 

1) Cottage Inn 1, 

Jim & Jerry’s 4 13 

2) Cottage Inn 2, 

Jim & Jerry’s 3, 

PB Legion 2 13 

3) PB Legion 1 12 

Central C 

1) Lil’ John’s 2 13 

2) PB VFW, 

Lil’ John’s 2, 

Qulin Legion 12 

3) Blue Moon 2, 

PB Legion 3 10 

South S 

1) TJ’s Corral 12 

2) Hooterville 8 

3) 21 South 2 7 

South T 

1) 21 South 1 10 

2) Hitchin’ Rail 2 9 

3) Tillman’s 8 

Cardinal League 

1. Just Cruising 

2. MADD 

3. Double Stuff 

4. Short Bus Allstars 

Primetimers League 

1. Two Plus Two 

2. Misfits 

3. Golden Girls 

Poplar Bluff: 

3525 S. Westwood Boulevard 

Jonah Hex 

10:00am 12:10 2:30 4:45 7:00 9:30pm 

Marmaduke 

9:45am 12:00 2:10 5:05 7:45 10:30pm 

Shrek Forever After 

9:40am 12:05 2:20 4:35 7:15 9:40pm 

Toy Story 3 

9:15am 12:00 2:45 5:30 8:15 11:00pm 

Killers 

‎11:40am 2:00 4:30 6:50 9:20pm 

Prince of Persia 

10:30am 1:05 3:40 6:20 9:00pm 

The A-Team 

11:30am 2:15 5:05 7:45 10:30pm 

The Karate Kid 

9:30am 12:30 3:30 6:40 10:00pm 


www.semotimes.com

Entertainment section www.semotimes.com 

And so will your customers 



Entertainment section www.semotimes.com 

ACROSS 

1. Make someone 

laugh 

6. Anglo-Saxon slave 

10. Listen 

14. Coarse files 

15. Mother of Zeus 

(Greek mythology) 

16. Otherwise 

17. Stud on a shoe 

18. Rodents 

19. Trot 

20. Porcupine 

22. Crowned 

24. Inheritor 

25. Ebbs 

26. A place for concubines 

29. A three-tone Chadic 

language 

30. Send forth 

31. Choking 

37. Pepper_____ or 

spear_____ 

39. Paddle 

40. Strange or spooky 

41. Foliating 

44. Impudence 

45. Biblical garden 

46. Precipitated 

48. Lie 

52. Rotating mechanisms 

53. A protective embankment 

54. Wonderful 

58. Swarm 

59. A cooperative unit 

61. Lariat 

62. Sea eagle 

63. A famous American canal 

64. An anesthetic 

65. Sow 

66. A computer maker 

67. Playfully harass 

DOWN 

1. A curved structure span- 

page 14 

ning an opening 

2. Boys and men 

3. Not new 

4. Pasta 

5. Admiration 

6. Mistake 

7. Long coarse nap 

8. Mesh 

9. Not western 

10. Aids 

11. Run away to marry 

12. City in Colorado 

13. Tall woody perennial 

grasses 21. Snake sound 

23. A Siouan people 

25. Acquire knowledge 

26. Used to make rope 

27. Genus of the dogfish 

28. Wedding or engagement 

29. It travels on rails 

32. Carried with difficulty 

33. Make laws 

34. Modern day Persia 

35. River in Egypt 

36. Emasculate 

38. An expression of contempt 

42. Improved or altered 

43. Seize 

47. Talisman 

48. Distributes 

49. A valley in France 

50. Vista 

51. Crippled 

52. Desert animal 

54. Flunk 

55. Occupational Safety and 

Health Administration 

56. Utilizes 

57. Achy 

60. Before 


Ask Heather: Real relationship advice 

Hi, my name is 

Heather and I’ve been 

a relationship expert 

laying it out since 1972. 

I know how to handle 

men and I know how to 

handle women, so no 

matter who you are I’m 

happy to help with relationship 

advice for you. 

Just send your questions 

to Heather@Semotimes. 

com 

Dear Heather, 

My wife and I have been married for 

6 years and it seems like the fire has 

gone out of our relationship. I know 

that we are both completely dedicated 

to each other but things are just not the 

way they once were. How 

would you recommend we 

rekindle that romance in 

our relationship and turn a 

burning ember into a roaring 

flame? 

Thank you, 

Mike 

Dear Mike (aka Nothing 

but Ashes), 

Remember all those 

things you said you 

wouldn’t do with the 

woman you married, DO 

THEM! They say the key to a successful 

marriage is to keep the fights clean, 

the sex dirty. Good luck! 

xoxo, Heather 

www.semotimes.com

Real Estate section www.semotimes.com 

SEMO HOMES AND REAL ESTATE 



El Acapulco 

Authentic Mexican 

restuarant and cantina 

Lunch specials: 

11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday-Friday 

Lunch Fajitas - $5.49 

Half Cheese Dip - $1.99 

2260 North Westwood Blvd., Poplar Bluff. Call (573) 776-7000.

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