May 9, 2013 Issue of KONK Life - KONK Network
May 9, 2013 Issue of KONK Life - KONK Network
May 9, 2013 Issue of KONK Life - KONK Network
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salutes the many who<br />
work to support<br />
AIDS Help &<br />
Taste <strong>of</strong> Key West<br />
2 www.konklife.com
m a y 9 - 1 5<br />
Published Weekly<br />
<strong>KONK</strong> <strong>Life</strong><br />
NEWS DIRECTOR<br />
Guy deBoer<br />
EDITOR|DESIGN<br />
Dawn deBoer<br />
PHOTOGRAPHERS<br />
Larry E. Blackburn, Ralph De Palma<br />
EDITORIAL CONSULTANT<br />
Connie Gilbert<br />
CONTRIBUTORS<br />
Guy deBoer Key News<br />
Rick Boettger Local News & Opinion<br />
Louis Petrone Key West Lou<br />
Steve Calderwood Wining the Keys<br />
JT Thompson Hot Dish<br />
Scott McCarthy The Gadabout<br />
Kimberley Denney Bitchin’ Paradise<br />
Paul Menta What’s Cookin’<br />
Christina Oxenberg Local Observation<br />
Jenessa Berger Keep Moving<br />
Sylvia Bogart Dear Venus, Astrologically Yours<br />
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Kavon Desilus ASSISTANT<br />
William Rainer ASSISTANT<br />
<strong>KONK</strong> <strong>Life</strong> is published weekly by<br />
<strong>KONK</strong> Broadcasting <strong>Network</strong> in Key West,<br />
Florida. Editorial materials may not be reproduced<br />
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ontheinside! <strong>KONK</strong><br />
U P F R O N T<br />
04<br />
F U N T I M E S<br />
16<br />
O U T B A C K<br />
26<br />
C O L U M N S<br />
07 BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT<br />
08 ASTROLOGICALLY YOURS<br />
22 IN THE ARTS<br />
23 AT THE TROPIC<br />
<strong>Life</strong><br />
Vol. 3 No. 19<br />
C<br />
O NTENTS
L O C A L N E W S & O P I N I O N<br />
Tree proud<br />
I ’ll be exposing the Tree Commission<br />
today, but first I want to brag<br />
about my own backyard sapodilla. I<br />
cede the other 50 plants back there<br />
to Cynthia, but the giant tree is<br />
mine, all mine, and I love it. Some<br />
people have a show dog or a Bentley;<br />
I gots my ‘dilly.<br />
We were thrilled when Cynthia<br />
Domenech-Coogle measured it for<br />
champion status on her final day as<br />
arborist. The previous champion was<br />
135 inches around. Well, MY<br />
sapodilla is 175 inches, over 14 feet!<br />
I swelled with pride as she told me<br />
someone would fly down from<br />
Tampa to measure the crown and<br />
otherwise certify its exalted new<br />
status.<br />
After a month I called to see<br />
what was taking so long and was<br />
crestfallen to hear that the sapodilla<br />
had been reclassified as an “invasive<br />
exotic” and thus was ineligible for<br />
champion status. “Invasive exotic”<br />
my ass! Nancy Forrester estimated<br />
my ‘illy’s age at maybe 150 years.<br />
It’s a bit silly to think <strong>of</strong> me or<br />
anyone else “owning” it, since it<br />
was here long before I was born<br />
and will be here long after I die.<br />
I had wanted the champion status<br />
not only to feed my tree-swollen ego,<br />
but to protect the tree when I am<br />
no longer able to — even if by so<br />
restricting its removal, I reduced the<br />
resale value <strong>of</strong> our property by<br />
$100,000. Its being now a mere<br />
commoner instead <strong>of</strong> a champion,<br />
and horrors, an “invasive,” makes<br />
me more worried than ever.<br />
Many people scorn the “messy”<br />
sapodilla. The female drops fruits<br />
I called “tree turds” when I lived<br />
under a couple <strong>of</strong> them one season.<br />
They splat and harden on your deck<br />
if you don’t get them up quickly.<br />
Our male tree drops a blizzard <strong>of</strong><br />
leaves and small seeds. It’s a highmaintenance<br />
tree, which is probably<br />
why it became an “invasive exotic.”<br />
But I value this venerable giant, a<br />
natural wonder, more than I value<br />
things we can build and fix again.<br />
Sitting under it every evening as the<br />
high branches catch the setting sun,<br />
watching birds and butterflies flitting<br />
about its stout limbs, I feel a part <strong>of</strong><br />
something grander and more natural<br />
than the stuff <strong>of</strong> my messy human<br />
day.<br />
So you’d think I’d love the Tree<br />
Commission. I don’t. I believe it is a<br />
great concept undone by governmental<br />
arrogance and incompetence.<br />
Blogger Sloan Bashinsky has a<br />
ccused the Tree Commission <strong>of</strong><br />
being an “ongoing RICO criminal<br />
enterprise.” Looking into the<br />
Commission’s genesis, I have to say<br />
I agree with the spirit but not the<br />
letter <strong>of</strong> his charge.<br />
I bought what came to $13 worth<br />
<strong>of</strong> old City Commission documents<br />
to piece together the legal history<br />
<strong>of</strong> our current Tree Commission.<br />
As started by Merili McCoy, the<br />
commission’s original purview was<br />
just trees on city-owned property and<br />
in new developments. But through<br />
the years, “mission creep” expanded<br />
it to cover existing private property.<br />
It also added rather Draconian fines<br />
not in the original legislation.<br />
And now the commission has<br />
become what we all dread in our<br />
public bodies. I doubt their<br />
competence, in that there are “no<br />
good landscapers or arborists on it,”<br />
according to Sloan and supported<br />
by testimony <strong>of</strong> people I know and<br />
respect. And they are capriciously<br />
negligent or heavy handed in their<br />
imposition <strong>of</strong> fines and making <strong>of</strong><br />
rules.<br />
They lose recordings <strong>of</strong> vital and<br />
dubious meetings. They <strong>of</strong>fer no justification<br />
for, for example, the $150<br />
per caliper inch rule on tree removal.<br />
They require the over-planting <strong>of</strong><br />
trees removed from yards with too<br />
| Continued on page 8<br />
RICK<br />
B O E T T G E R<br />
C O L U M N I S T<br />
4 ww.konklife.com<br />
U P F R O NT<br />
L E T T E R S T O T H E E D I T O R<br />
A record number for Monroe County<br />
Thirty-five students from Monroe County high schools prepare<br />
for their adventures overseas in July. These students are participating<br />
in the Experiment in International Living cross cultural experience.<br />
Of the high school students, 20 are in the Take Stock in Children (TSiC)<br />
program and will travel abroad in a cultural immersion program within<br />
14 different countries.<br />
Take Stock in Children students from Key West, Key West Collegiate,<br />
Marathon and Coral Shores high schools were notified this week that they<br />
have been awarded scholarships from Experiment in International<br />
Living (EIL) to pursue cross-cultural education in 14<br />
countries. This unique opportunity for high school students<br />
in Monroe County is the result <strong>of</strong> EIL’s local partnership<br />
with the Monroe County Education Foundation (MCEF),<br />
lead agency for TSiC in Monroe County.<br />
All Monroe students will leave the United States in small<br />
groups at the end <strong>of</strong> June, joining approximately 1,000 other<br />
U.S. high school students in EIL’s annual program <strong>of</strong> cultural orientation<br />
via local immersion. International living experiences involve three to five<br />
weeks <strong>of</strong> language learning, individual home-stays and community involvement<br />
in 20 different countries.<br />
Students now begin preparations to study abroad in their assigned<br />
country. Their individual destinations include South Africa, Chili, China,<br />
Costa Rica, Navajo Nation, Korea, France, Mexico, Spain, Mongolia,<br />
Japan, Italy, Argentina and Mongolia.<br />
“Our students worked hard on their applications and are very excited<br />
about this chance to be ambassadors <strong>of</strong> Key West,” said Jeremy Wilkerson,<br />
TSiC Summer Programs Coordinator for Monroe County. He noted that<br />
MCEF president John Padget and other board members have provided<br />
pivotal support for what is arguably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity<br />
for international learning.<br />
| Continued on page 8
SALSA LOCA CINCO de MAYO<br />
I’m<br />
Coming<br />
Back,<br />
KW!
K E Y W E S T L O U<br />
n L E G A L I T I E S W I T H Louis Petrone<br />
The American people live in a time when financial rip<strong>of</strong>fs<br />
are the modus operandi. The government, banks, major corporations<br />
and oil companies defecate upon us. I share with<br />
you four examples.<br />
Hamid Karazi. President <strong>of</strong> Afghanistan. Appointed<br />
to the position initially with the assistance<br />
<strong>of</strong> the United States. Since has been elected to two<br />
five-year terms.<br />
Karazi makes his people think he hates Americans. Actually,<br />
he loves us. He uses the United States. We let him get<br />
away with it because our government considers him important<br />
to whatever is going on in Afghanistan.<br />
It was recently learned that the CIA has been delivering to<br />
Karazi every month for the past 10 years a bag <strong>of</strong> money. A<br />
bag? So reported. It has been suggested the money totals in the<br />
tens <strong>of</strong> millions <strong>of</strong> dollars. Money so delivered<br />
by one government to the leader <strong>of</strong> another<br />
is described as black cash. The<br />
bagged monies were not and are not subject<br />
to oversight or restriction.<br />
It took 10 years for this information to<br />
see the light <strong>of</strong> day because <strong>of</strong> the special<br />
manner in which CIA funds are handled.<br />
LOU<br />
P E T R O N E<br />
COLUMNIST<br />
FINANCIAL RIPOFFS<br />
No one knows the detailed CIA budget or<br />
how money is spent. All secret. No accountability.<br />
By law. Wow!<br />
The money in those bags comes from<br />
American tax dollars. Karzai has been getting rich while most<br />
Americans were hurting. Karazi claims he helped his people<br />
with the money. He must think we are stupid. I envision secret<br />
accounts in Sweden, Cayman Islands and Bermuda. Somewhere.<br />
When Karazi retires or is defeated, he has a great life<br />
ahead <strong>of</strong> him. No pension concerns.<br />
There is not one person who thinks being a Congressman<br />
is not one hell <strong>of</strong> a good job. A decent<br />
salary, great medical benefits, a three-day Washington work<br />
week, etc. Even after a congressman is no longer such, he is<br />
still taken care <strong>of</strong> in one fashion or another.<br />
Example. A committee has been formed to study a specific<br />
issue. The committee consists <strong>of</strong> seven retired congresspersons.<br />
It is anticipated the hearings will take five days. They are<br />
to be held at the National Press Club in Washington. Each<br />
congressperson is to receive $20,000 plus expenses. Expenses<br />
could run high. Travel, meals, hotel accommodations, staff, a<br />
printed report.<br />
I do not know how much the whole thing will cost. I am<br />
guessing somewhere in the area <strong>of</strong> $300,00 to $400,000.<br />
The matter to be studied: Contact with extra terrestrial<br />
beings. Communication with persons from outer space. This<br />
is not one <strong>of</strong> the pressing issues <strong>of</strong> our time. I cannot recall<br />
anyone mentioning a concern.<br />
| Continued on page 21<br />
6 www.konklife.com
B U S I N E S S S P O T L I G H T<br />
Ramsey’s Financial Peace University<br />
at Keys Federal Credit Union<br />
Keys Federal Credit Union <strong>of</strong>fers Dave Ramsey’s<br />
Financial Peace University at its Key Plaza branch.<br />
This nine-week personal financial management course<br />
helps achieve financial goals by showing how to eliminate<br />
debt, save for the future and give like never before.<br />
You will be challenged and motivated to make a<br />
plan for your money and change your family tree. On<br />
average, FPU graduates pay <strong>of</strong>f $5,300 in debt and save<br />
$2,700 in the first 90 days.<br />
Classes — 6-8 p.m. every Tuesday, June 4 to July<br />
30, at 3022 N. Roosevelt Blvd. — are open to members<br />
and non-members. Students need to purchase a Financial<br />
Peace University Membership and course kit for<br />
$89 (plus shipping) by <strong>May</strong> 27. Seating is limited. Call<br />
Mary Lou Carn, (305) 293-6500, or email<br />
marylou.carn@keysfcu.org<br />
www.konklife.com 7<br />
K E Y B U S I N E S S I N K E Y W E S T<br />
Financial Peace University Kit with audio<br />
lessons, workbook, course book and tools<br />
to manage finances
THE 12 SIGNS<br />
January-December<br />
D E A R V E N U S<br />
Aries<br />
There is a method to your madness.<br />
You will explain this to anyone.<br />
This is true if you have a set<br />
goal in mind and continue to refresh<br />
it and readjust it once it<br />
has been met and expanded<br />
upon continually challenging<br />
yourself and do not get caught<br />
up in the glamour <strong>of</strong> who you<br />
think you are instead <strong>of</strong> being<br />
who you are. You are a leader<br />
not a follower so lead.<br />
Taurus<br />
Now you know hardship, experience<br />
pain, embrace the inevitable<br />
product, which is hard to<br />
explain, commitment and solitude,<br />
joy and release.<br />
You must always practice what<br />
you preach, holding fast to accountability,<br />
this is what keeps<br />
you free. Trust your own instincts<br />
you are not wrong.<br />
Gemini<br />
Take the proverbial bull by the<br />
horns and act upon the opportunities<br />
that are being made available<br />
to you. Once again, I tell<br />
you this, nothing will force you to<br />
take advantage <strong>of</strong> these <strong>of</strong>ferings<br />
but if you want them to work<br />
for you long term you must connect,<br />
commit, start, make the<br />
call, do the work, no one can or<br />
will do it for you. Sands in the<br />
hour glass fall fast.<br />
Cancer<br />
Certain things in our lives are<br />
necessary for us to learn in order<br />
to be successful at what we<br />
came here to do, call it basic life<br />
training if you wish.<br />
These situations are presented<br />
to us over and over again in different<br />
ways if we do not seize<br />
the moment and go with the flow<br />
and learn from them they can<br />
destroy us and all <strong>of</strong> our potential.<br />
| Continued on page 12<br />
A S T R O L O G I C A L L Y Y O U R S<br />
Dear Venus:<br />
I feel like I have done everything the<br />
right way, at least to the very best <strong>of</strong> my<br />
ability. I have gotten the education for<br />
my field <strong>of</strong> endeavor and continue to go<br />
to workshops, seminars and conventions<br />
to keep on top <strong>of</strong> new developments and<br />
procedures. I do what I say I will do.<br />
I am dependable and loyal to my clients,<br />
students, co-workers, employers. I feel<br />
that I am very good at what I do. The<br />
thing I am having problems with is the<br />
newcomers in my field and also people<br />
who expect overnight results demanding<br />
“top shelf” quality treatments and yet<br />
will nickel and dime you to death about<br />
the price.<br />
The newcomers are inundating the<br />
workforce. They are for the most part<br />
people who have taken early retirement<br />
and have received a substantial pay<strong>of</strong>f<br />
as well as their retirement fund. These<br />
people are looking for easy investments<br />
and seem to feel that the art world in all<br />
areas is the best way to get quick returns.<br />
So they buy a business, then turn it into<br />
the exact replica <strong>of</strong> the corporate world<br />
where they have just come from because<br />
it is all that they know.<br />
I understand this part. My question<br />
is this: How do we, the real artists,<br />
compete? How can we make a living<br />
when there are so many out there who<br />
don’t take us seriously? When there are<br />
so many import/export businesses<br />
around with cheap prices? Weekend<br />
workshops that claim to teach people<br />
how to do this or that in three days?<br />
| Continued on page 12<br />
DEAR VENUS<br />
COLUMNIST<br />
SYLVIA BOGART<br />
Sylviabogart@yahoo.com<br />
Email questions or<br />
call for appointment,<br />
(305) 731-6280.<br />
8 www.konklife.com<br />
LOCAL NEWS<br />
& OPINION<br />
RICK BOETTGER<br />
| Continued from page 4<br />
many trees in them already. They<br />
do not allow for essential trimming<br />
before hurricanes, which costs us<br />
dearly, especially during Georges.<br />
Their unbending rule on no spikes<br />
to climb coconut palms is complicit<br />
in the terrible accident to the man<br />
who fell out <strong>of</strong> one while trimming<br />
it and is still in a coma.<br />
Some fines are never collected,<br />
and others, like those for alleged<br />
over-trimming <strong>of</strong> trees at Mary Immaculate,<br />
are ruinously overdone.<br />
The one ray <strong>of</strong> hope was a single<br />
commissioner, David Jackson, who<br />
spoke up for valuing human life<br />
over trees. And for trying to be reasonable<br />
and compassionate in dealing<br />
with the public. He spoke<br />
alone. David, keep up the good<br />
fight.<br />
■<br />
TO THE EDITOR<br />
| Continued from page 4<br />
U P F R O N T<br />
C O M M E N T A R Y<br />
“I believe strongly in the effectiveness<br />
<strong>of</strong> interactive learning,”<br />
Padget said. “EIL program <strong>of</strong>fers<br />
one <strong>of</strong> the best frameworks for<br />
responsible development <strong>of</strong> young<br />
minds and hearts. Students see<br />
from new perspectives, respond<br />
to unfamiliar challenges and solve<br />
problems with initiative and good<br />
judgment. It’s life-learning that<br />
tests their assumptions and<br />
broadens the mind.”<br />
Since Padget and MCEF initiated<br />
the EIL partnership in 2006,<br />
82 TSIC students and an additional<br />
22 other high school students totaling<br />
104 Monroe County students in<br />
the last six years have become ambassadors<br />
in international culture<br />
and study. This year will make 139<br />
students to become ambassadors<br />
<strong>of</strong> Key West worldwide!<br />
This year’s EIL/MCEF grantees<br />
in cross-cultural education are:<br />
• Key West High School: Shayne<br />
Alongi, Chile; Ramon Arza-Sosa,<br />
China; Mercedes Cosby, Korea; Araley<br />
Cruz, France; Anthony Garcia-<br />
Montero, Spain; Torrin Jacobsen,<br />
Mongolia; Maximilian Mealor,<br />
Peru; Daniel Quinlan, Japan; Laura<br />
Urbay, France; Jack Willis, Argentina.<br />
• Marathon High School: Samantha<br />
Bonilla, Costa Rica; Zoe Caldwell,<br />
Navajo Nation; Dominick<br />
Desrosiers, Mexico; Carlos O’Farrill,<br />
Spain; Stephanie Reyes, France.<br />
• Coral Shores High School: Rebecca<br />
Davis, South Africa; Tristan<br />
Garcia, France; Maria Lozada, Italy;<br />
Iyamilet Vargas, Spain<br />
• Key West Collegiate : Chynna<br />
Eckard, Costa Rica<br />
Padget added that study abroad<br />
creates distinct opportunities for<br />
leadership development as students<br />
participate in the culture, economy,<br />
language, traditions and arts <strong>of</strong><br />
communities around the world.<br />
“We want our students to understand<br />
that their vision and mission<br />
in life is not bound by the<br />
length <strong>of</strong> a bridge or the edge <strong>of</strong> an<br />
island. Our kids can connect countries<br />
with their actions and ideas.”<br />
INFO<br />
The Experiment in International<br />
Living, (800) 345-2929<br />
www.experimentinternational.org<br />
■<br />
About e Experiment<br />
in International Living<br />
Founded in 1932, EIL has become<br />
the leader in cross-cultural education<br />
for high school students. Each summer<br />
800-1,000 students from across<br />
the United States participate in 3, 4,<br />
and 5-week EIL programs that include<br />
cross-cultural orientations,<br />
home stays, language training, arts,<br />
ecology and/or community service<br />
components. ere are programs in<br />
29 different countries plus the<br />
Navajo Nation. EIL has sponsored<br />
70,000 participants over its 75 years.
An appealing pair<br />
U P F R O N T<br />
C O N V E R S A T I O N S<br />
appear in paradise<br />
It’s a standard Saturday afternoon<br />
in this island paradise we call<br />
Key West. We are a couple <strong>of</strong> buddies<br />
doing a few hours <strong>of</strong> male<br />
bonding. “Wherejawannaeat?” I<br />
asked. “How about the Lazy Lobster?<br />
I want to be able to see the<br />
water,” my friend replied. “Sounds<br />
good to me,” I responded.<br />
We were not seated long enough<br />
to warm the chair when out <strong>of</strong><br />
nowhere came a guy as stealthy as a<br />
ninja.<br />
“Good afternoon,gentleman. My<br />
name is Theodore, and I will be<br />
your server today.” We ordered ice<br />
tea with extra lemon, and Theodore<br />
disappeared as quickly and quietly<br />
as he had appeared. The ice tea arrived<br />
promptly, and we ordered oysters<br />
to start plus a couple <strong>of</strong> fish<br />
dinners.<br />
Soon Theodore brought the<br />
oysters nicely displayed on a silver<br />
colored platter. The place wasn’t<br />
especially busy, and Theodore<br />
seemed to have the time and inclination<br />
to chat a while. I asked him<br />
the difference between a waiter and<br />
a server. He said at one time there<br />
was an implied difference in an<br />
imagined element <strong>of</strong> prestige to<br />
being known as a server. Probably<br />
something akin to measuring virtue<br />
among ladies <strong>of</strong> the night.<br />
Theodore was late 20s in age<br />
and was working heavy<br />
industry in a quaint little<br />
village called Black Lung,<br />
Pennsylvania. I asked why<br />
he left such a garden spot,<br />
and he said he worked a<br />
week on bronze and his<br />
hair turned green. I said,<br />
“Good move. Green hair,<br />
green lungs.” He said,<br />
“Correcto.”<br />
About this time<br />
Theodore’s supervisor told him they<br />
were overstaffed for the business expected,<br />
and he can punch out early.<br />
We paid the bill with a nice tip and<br />
told him to come back for a drink<br />
after he punched out, which he did.<br />
NORMAN<br />
D E P L U M E<br />
COLUMNIST<br />
ww.konklife.com 9<br />
Ted (no more Theodore) arrived<br />
in Key West with his girlfriend ,<br />
Anna Nimity, last October. Their<br />
first introduction to Key West culture<br />
was Fantasy Fest. Fortunately,<br />
they had enough money to rent an<br />
acceptable place to live and get by<br />
for a month or so. Anna had some<br />
food service training and experience<br />
and quickly found employment. It<br />
took Ted a while to decide he<br />
wanted to work in food service, too,<br />
never having done it before. He applied<br />
for a job best described as<br />
“make yourself generally useful.”<br />
From what Ted told me about his<br />
initial employment, I am <strong>of</strong> the<br />
opinion it was a test <strong>of</strong> his reliability,<br />
work ethic and attitude as well<br />
as an introduction to the “Lazy<br />
Lobster.”<br />
Most <strong>of</strong> Ted’s work experience<br />
was in some area <strong>of</strong> heavy Pennsylvania<br />
industry. He has a BA in early<br />
Rumanian folk dance with a minor<br />
in Kabuki theater. I said those were<br />
BS/BA degrees and worthless in<br />
today’s job market. Ted’s goal is to<br />
combine his performing arts training<br />
with food service experience.<br />
Perhaps the singing waiter concept<br />
on steroids is what Ted has in<br />
mind. My first impression <strong>of</strong> Ted’s<br />
persona is that <strong>of</strong> a people-person<br />
well equipped to serve or entertain<br />
or a combination there<strong>of</strong>.<br />
Ted considers his time as a<br />
server is to hone his people<br />
skills to combine with his<br />
performing arts background<br />
to become an entertainer.<br />
He is trying to<br />
break into standup comedy,<br />
but there is little standup<br />
opportunity in Key West.<br />
He did tell us a couple <strong>of</strong><br />
standup jokes: How does a<br />
Chinaman go on a diet?<br />
. . . . uses one Chop stick.<br />
I cautioned him on contemporary<br />
political correctness expectations<br />
and suggested he be careful<br />
not to <strong>of</strong>fend the Key West Chinese<br />
| Continued on page 26
BOOK<br />
REVIEW<br />
Anew novel by Key<br />
West reporter and<br />
writer John Guerra recounts the<br />
plight <strong>of</strong> a dog lost to the world,<br />
alive but alone, in a cistern in Key<br />
West. A fictional story based on a<br />
real dog’s misadventure and subsequent<br />
rescue, takes the reader on a<br />
run <strong>of</strong> Key West and includes a<br />
look at people living desperate<br />
lives.<br />
A Key West High School senior<br />
worried her boyfriend is trying to<br />
coerce her little sister turns to a<br />
local poison to save the youngster;<br />
an aging shrimp boat captain tells<br />
<strong>of</strong> his wife’s untimely death in the<br />
1950s in hopes <strong>of</strong> helping a young<br />
man understand marriage; a young<br />
boy recounts how JFK’s visit to<br />
Key West in 1962 foreshadows<br />
what happened in Dealey Plaza a<br />
year later. Stories are intertwined<br />
with the search for Maddie by her<br />
owner and some ill-intentioned<br />
Key West residents seeking the reward<br />
for Maddie’s safe return.<br />
“I believe Maddie’s plight, a<br />
true story, was a great way to center<br />
the theme <strong>of</strong> people on the<br />
wrong path,” Guerra says <strong>of</strong> his<br />
book. “Events all conspire at the<br />
end to bring a surprising yet satisfactory<br />
conclusion to everyone’s<br />
lives.”<br />
INFO<br />
Amazon.com<br />
Barnesandnoble.com<br />
absolutleyamazingebooks.com<br />
Absolutelyamazingebooks.com is a<br />
new online book publisher based in<br />
Key West. Launched by publisher<br />
Shirrel Rhoades, it <strong>of</strong>fers nearly every<br />
genre <strong>of</strong> literature — mystery, science<br />
fiction, poetry, photography, history,<br />
children’s books, comedy, even movie<br />
scripts.<br />
10 www.konklife.com
W I N I N G T H E K E Y S<br />
W I N E A B I T, Y O U L L F E E L B E T T E R<br />
She crushed me and<br />
left me in the dark<br />
— fermenting<br />
Yea, making wine is a<br />
lot like living with my<br />
ex-wife. The major difference is that<br />
making wine is a lot easier to understand.<br />
But, with that said, it is a<br />
complex process with a lot <strong>of</strong> different<br />
options at the winemaker’s disposal<br />
and a heck <strong>of</strong> a lot <strong>of</strong> jargon.<br />
It’s kind <strong>of</strong> like sailing, where once<br />
you understand all the terms, it’s a<br />
lot easier to understand the process;<br />
but if you don’t first know the jargon,<br />
you’ll never get the boat to<br />
move. So let’s take a very basic look<br />
at how those grapes become wine.<br />
The first assumption that we’re<br />
going to make is that high-quality<br />
grapes are delivered to the winery.<br />
This is obviously essential as the<br />
world’s greatest winemaker can’t<br />
make great or even good wine out<br />
<strong>of</strong> concord grapes (sorry, Manischewitz).<br />
But, it’s not just the grape varietal;<br />
the acids, sugars and tannins<br />
all need to be balanced in each <strong>of</strong><br />
the grapes. But that’s all fodder for<br />
future columns. Just assume that<br />
we’ve got good grapes.<br />
The first step is that the grapes<br />
arrive at the winery and get dumped<br />
into the crusher/stemmer. This machine<br />
crushes the grapes and removes<br />
the stems. This juice, pulp,<br />
skins and seeds conglomeration is<br />
called the “must.” If we’re making a<br />
red wine, the “must” is then normally<br />
dumped into a stainless steel<br />
tank for fermentation. If we’re making<br />
a white wine, the “must” is then<br />
pressed to remove the skins and<br />
seeds and get pure juice which<br />
goes into the fermentation tank<br />
(usually).<br />
Now, the yeast and wine interact<br />
and the process <strong>of</strong> fermentation<br />
begins. This is where the yeast eats<br />
the sugar, farting alcohol and<br />
carbon dioxide as a by-product,<br />
until the yeast dies. The little dead<br />
yeasts are called “lees” — why they<br />
aren’t called “Ralph” or “Betty” is<br />
beyond me, but we’ll talk more<br />
ww.konklife.com 11<br />
about the “lees” in a sec.<br />
Now we get to the phrase<br />
that always excites wine geeks —<br />
malolactic fermentation. Almost<br />
all red wines and a fair amount<br />
<strong>of</strong> whites go through malolactic<br />
fermentation. But what is this<br />
second type <strong>of</strong> fermentation?<br />
Well, first <strong>of</strong> all, it isn’t<br />
traditional fermentation.<br />
Confused?<br />
I think they do it on purpose<br />
(so did my ex-wife). Malolactic<br />
fermentation is a biological process<br />
where naturally occurring bacteria<br />
turn the malic acids in the wine<br />
into lactic acids. (Doesn’t that make<br />
it perfectly clear?)<br />
The malic acids are tart and<br />
tingly on the tongue, kind <strong>of</strong> like<br />
biting into a green apple or lime,<br />
whereas the lactic acids are s<strong>of</strong>t<br />
and round, like milk or butter.<br />
This process can occur at any time<br />
before bottling or be prevented<br />
from occurring at all. Most<br />
chardonnays go though some level<br />
<strong>of</strong> malolactic fermentation, think<br />
<strong>of</strong> the buttery flavor in chards,<br />
while most crisp and bright wines,<br />
such as sauvignon blancs, rieslings<br />
& pinot grigios, do not.<br />
Once our white wine has<br />
finished the fermentation process,<br />
it can either be left to stay in<br />
contact with the “lees” (the dead<br />
yeast cells) and this process is called<br />
“sur lee” (damn the French) which<br />
gives it a richer mouth feel or it<br />
can be siphoned <strong>of</strong>f. It can then<br />
be barrel aged or put directly into<br />
bottles.<br />
| Continued on page 26<br />
STEVE<br />
C A L D E R W O O D<br />
To receive Smokin’ Vines, a listing <strong>of</strong> all<br />
food and booze events in the Keys, send<br />
name and email to wineslut@me.com
DEAR VENUS<br />
SYLVIA BOGART<br />
| Continued from page 8<br />
Dear Faithful to the Fossil: Fire burns<br />
paper, water puts out fire, fire boils water<br />
creating steam, earth and water make mortar,<br />
grow flowers, create mud, air inspires<br />
and destroys, gives life and takes it away.<br />
We simply need to know the level <strong>of</strong> our<br />
personal awareness and go from that point<br />
focusing on what we know until we learn<br />
something different. The process cannot be<br />
forced or changed as we know it is an inevitable,<br />
needed force. It is about timing,<br />
and when we fight that it hurts us. Sometimes<br />
we have to fall down when learning<br />
to walk. If we try to skip important lessons<br />
we will be forced to re-evaluate and re-experience.<br />
No matter how many times we have<br />
to do something over, each time we learn<br />
something new, accomplish something different,<br />
until the day comes when we unveil<br />
the finished product, which is never what<br />
we thought it would be. Why? Because it is<br />
about the journey and lessons we learn<br />
along the way.<br />
Think out <strong>of</strong> the box and let go <strong>of</strong> the<br />
attachment to outcome. The creative brainchild<br />
is the ability to recognize when we are<br />
finished and accept the accomplishment by<br />
embracing what we have learned.<br />
Why does it have to be so hard? All are<br />
learned patterns. When someone has a gift<br />
and realizes what that gift is, it does not<br />
mean it can be utilized or realized to its<br />
highest potential without proper maintenance,<br />
training or experience. These give<br />
form, structure and substance to the natural<br />
instinct. Sometimes a little goes a long way,<br />
especially when the talent is great, but without<br />
the discipline, commitment and support<br />
many great artists have been limited.<br />
We can all learn from each other. When<br />
someone or something bothers you, get excited<br />
about it instead <strong>of</strong> fighting. What do<br />
they know that you don’t? How can you<br />
help each other? You are a pr<strong>of</strong>essional and<br />
committed to what you do. Why do you<br />
feel threatened by those who are neophytes?<br />
I once heard someone ask a very well<br />
known artist how much time it took them<br />
to finish a particular painting, they were<br />
being very demeaning in their attitude,<br />
aimed at putting the artist on the defensive<br />
so that they could get a better price <strong>of</strong><br />
course. She had no problem answering the<br />
question: “Two hours, 10 minutes, and 35<br />
years.” Is there any doubt they bought the<br />
painting and became lifetime supporters?<br />
■<br />
A S T R O L O G I C A L L Y Y O U R S<br />
THE 12 SIGNS | Continued from page 8<br />
Leo<br />
Power and prestige come at what prize? Is it really<br />
worth it? It can be lonely at the top. You are learning<br />
the reason why. Read this book: Hope for the Flowers.<br />
Hopefully you will get the message<br />
Virgo<br />
Things change, people leave our lives for whatever<br />
reason, situations become intolerable, we must move<br />
forward leaving the past behind. This is never easy<br />
and it is always painful, however, in order to live and<br />
grow sometimes the only way is to go. It is necessary<br />
to say goodbye to the past.<br />
Libra<br />
Some things never change like birth, death, and taxes.<br />
You have been given a reprieve, a warning, and a gift,<br />
remember this and do not make the same mistake<br />
again. It is time you followed your real life purpose.<br />
Scorpio<br />
You must accept the fact that you will never be totally<br />
in control, nor should it be so. We can only be what we<br />
truly know. Your greatest lesson comes from being<br />
able to accept yourself and others as you are with all<br />
the bumps and imperfections, learning from loving<br />
each and every one <strong>of</strong> these unconditionally without<br />
expectations and surrendering to the flow.<br />
Saggitarius<br />
Unlike what we have been led to believe the time for<br />
sowing IS<br />
when the going is easy and not when we are forced to<br />
engage. Harvest the grapes and make the wine in its<br />
season. Enjoy the work <strong>of</strong> your labors when the cold<br />
wind <strong>of</strong> controversy and hardship blow for everyone<br />
else, knowing that you have paid the price makes it all<br />
that much sweeter in retrospect. Either way there will<br />
be an even exchange you can count on it.<br />
Capricorn<br />
“True liberation involves coming to a point where all<br />
structure is taken on by choice and your life is really<br />
self created. That is when the mind is free <strong>of</strong> all illusions.”<br />
You can decide what you wish to change and<br />
change it moving in that direction by changing the way<br />
that you deal with situations and people. If you are<br />
stubborn and refuse to go with the flow <strong>of</strong> energy you<br />
will be broken by the past.<br />
Aquarius<br />
Love surrounds you in many ways but no matter how<br />
much you have it never seems to be enough. Happiness<br />
is an inside job. You cannot find it anywhere else.<br />
It comes from being satisfied with yourself.<br />
Pisces<br />
When you drive and try to multi-task while doing so<br />
what are the chances <strong>of</strong> having a fender bender and<br />
causing some real damage because you are not paying<br />
attention to where you are really going? Consider<br />
this vehicle your life, it is. How is your driving record?<br />
Why do you think you are so confused and never seem<br />
to reach your destination? Focus and a goal is a really<br />
important thing. When is the last time you had one?<br />
■<br />
sylviabogart@yahoo.com (305) 731-6280<br />
12 www.konklife.com<br />
A LOCAL<br />
OBSERVATION<br />
Party time<br />
Ijust read “Levels <strong>of</strong> <strong>Life</strong>” by Julian Barnes, his<br />
latest, and I’m a fan, <strong>of</strong> sorts. Long ago Julian<br />
Barnes wrote a book called “Staring at the Sun”<br />
about a woman and her ordinary life sliced up<br />
in cartoonishly large leaps <strong>of</strong> 20-year intervals.<br />
At the time I remember thinking it implausible,<br />
these spans leaping ahead in 20-year lumps. For<br />
a leap, that seemed improbably enormous. Ah,<br />
the myopia <strong>of</strong> youth! All these years later I<br />
clearly see the possibility <strong>of</strong> vast chunks <strong>of</strong> time<br />
sucked away into a blurry tear in Time’s fabric.<br />
And now here I am, so much older and I<br />
look back on my life, and I see when the<br />
trajectory for adventure truly began. Right before<br />
my 30s I entirely gave up on anything conventional,<br />
and I have been “on the road” ever<br />
since. My first divorce was so long ago I don’t<br />
remember much about that marriage, like the<br />
dude’s name, but what I do remember<br />
is that after seven years<br />
<strong>of</strong> marriage there came a time <strong>of</strong><br />
critical mass. It was stay and<br />
breed and do the wife thing, or<br />
bail and toodle <strong>of</strong>f to parts unknown.<br />
I took the latter course.<br />
I packed up the husband and<br />
sent him <strong>of</strong>f to Italy. “I’m right<br />
behind you,” I lied when I<br />
kicked him out <strong>of</strong> the Toyota<br />
truck at JFK. And that was the<br />
last time I saw him.<br />
Tomorrow I’m headed for New York City,<br />
for my party, to celebrate my new book. I have<br />
invited all and sundry from all stages <strong>of</strong> my life,<br />
finally mixing everyone together, like the end <strong>of</strong><br />
a great day <strong>of</strong> work for a painter with his pallet<br />
smeared with bright oils. Today I examine my<br />
choices, and my expectations, and with the benefit<br />
<strong>of</strong> so much time passing, I can critically assess.<br />
Most notably I will say it has gone fast.<br />
Cresting the precipice <strong>of</strong> middle age was not<br />
even noticeable. There was no peak <strong>of</strong> Everest<br />
moment, no instant where I stuck a flag into a<br />
mountaintop and felt my goals in my grasp. Far<br />
from it. Rather, I feel I am in a holding pattern,<br />
a sort <strong>of</strong> long stalling idle, where all my goals<br />
are still just ahead, just around the next mythic<br />
corner.<br />
I’m looking forward to seeing my old<br />
friends, a little concerned to reveal my aged self.<br />
Will any <strong>of</strong> us recognize one another?<br />
I wish Julian Barnes the best with his new book<br />
and thank him for his provocative insights.<br />
Turns out he was absolutely right about time<br />
hurtling, and now I try and savor the moment,<br />
try and appreciate the gorgeous smearing bright<br />
oils that comprise my life. ■<br />
CHRISTINA<br />
O X E N B E R G<br />
LEIGH VOGEL photo
SANCTIONEDRACE<br />
<strong>May</strong> 9-12<br />
Paddleboard Classic<br />
Paddleboard and self-propelled watercraft enthusiasts<br />
circumnavigate this southernmost island during<br />
the 12-mile Key West Paddleboard Classic, Thursday<br />
to Sunday, <strong>May</strong> 9-12. The race around Key West is<br />
Saturday, <strong>May</strong> 11, and open to paddlers on standup<br />
paddleboards, prone boards, outrigger canoes, dory<br />
boats, surf skis and kayaks. The <strong>2013</strong> race is presented<br />
by Lazy Dog Adventures <strong>of</strong> Key West.<br />
Saturday’s racing action kicks <strong>of</strong>f with 7 a.m. registration<br />
and expo opening. A 9 a.m. racers’ meeting<br />
precedes the 9:30 a.m. water start from Key West’s<br />
Higgs Beach, 1000 Atlantic Blvd. Upon completing<br />
circumnavigation <strong>of</strong> the island, racers finish at Higgs<br />
Beach. Shorter course is 10 a.m. four-mile open race.<br />
Awards celebration hosted by Turtle Kraals at Key<br />
West’s Lands End Village at the foot <strong>of</strong> Margaret<br />
Street, Historic Seaport. Highlights include top finishers,<br />
awards presentations, prize drawings, live<br />
ww.konklife.com 13<br />
music, food and drink.<br />
Activities include 5-7 p.m. meet-and-greet, <strong>May</strong> 9,<br />
at Lazy Dog, Hurricane Hole Marina, 5130 U.S.<br />
Highway 1; standup paddleboard clinic, 1-4 p.m.,<br />
<strong>May</strong> 10, Higgs Beach; 5-8 p.m. kick-<strong>of</strong>f party and<br />
packet pickup at Turtle Kraals.<br />
The classic ends Sunday, <strong>May</strong> 12, with Higgs<br />
Beach day featuring kids SUP clinic and race, adult<br />
sprint races and paddleboard relay for four-person<br />
teams.<br />
INFO<br />
keywestpaddleboardclassic.com
ZONTA RADIO DAYS<br />
LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer<br />
14 www.konklife.com
HOSPICE VNA DERBY PARTY<br />
LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer<br />
ww.konklife.com 15
i n s i d e !<br />
(Clockwise from above)<br />
Schooner Wharf Bar<br />
Johnny Oyster<br />
The A200 Band<br />
m a y 9 - 1 5<br />
Ocean Key’s<br />
Sunset Pier<br />
Reggae Saturdays<br />
with Bongo D<br />
Every Saturday!<br />
16 www.konklife.com<br />
Southernmost<br />
Cigar Club &<br />
The 90 Mile Lounge<br />
E.J. Moose
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon<br />
4 Charles St., <strong>of</strong>f the<br />
200 block Duval Street,<br />
(305) 517-6350<br />
n<br />
Thursday<br />
Rusty Lemmon 6pm<br />
Caffeine Carl & The Buzz<br />
9:30pm<br />
Friday<br />
Greg Rue 6pm<br />
Caffeine Carl & Friends<br />
9:30pm<br />
Saturday<br />
Nick Norman 6pm<br />
South Carolina singer/songwriter<br />
Nick Norman tours club scenes in<br />
his native South Carolina, North<br />
Carolina, Georgia and Florida.<br />
Caffeine Carl & Friends 9:30pm<br />
Sunday<br />
Joal Rush 6pm<br />
Rusty Lemmon 9pm<br />
Monday<br />
Joal Rush 6pm<br />
Caffeine Carl & Rusty<br />
Lemmon 9pm<br />
F U N T I M E S<br />
Smokin’ Tuna Saloon<br />
Nick Norman<br />
www.konklife.com 17<br />
Tuesday<br />
Lee Roy 5pm<br />
Joal Rush & Nick<br />
Norman 9:30pm<br />
Wednesday<br />
Joal Rush and Nick<br />
Norman 9:30pm<br />
Joal Rush & Nick<br />
Norman 9:30pm<br />
Schooner Wharf Bar<br />
202 Williams St.,<br />
(305) 292-3302<br />
www.schoonerwharf.com<br />
n<br />
Thursday<br />
Sam Ramos and Carl Peachey<br />
7-11pm<br />
Friday-Saturday<br />
Johnny Oyster and<br />
The A200 Band 7pm-Midnight<br />
Southwest Florida five-piece<br />
band, former members <strong>of</strong> Oysters<br />
Fantastic Band. Good-time party<br />
band plays favorites from ‘70s.<br />
Unplugged style, flagrant vocal<br />
harmonies with antics and banter.<br />
Sunday<br />
The Doerfels 6:30-11pm<br />
Family <strong>of</strong> young musicians wow<br />
audiences and critics. Music genres<br />
blend country, gospel and<br />
bluegrass with a blues and rock<br />
plus originals. Lineup <strong>of</strong> arrangements<br />
with banjo, fiddle, bass,<br />
cello and guitar.<br />
| Continued on page 18
Schooner Wharf Bar<br />
202 Williams St., (305) 292-3302<br />
n<br />
| Continued from page 17<br />
Monday<br />
Gary Hemsey & Friend 7-11pm<br />
Tuesday-Wednesday<br />
Raven Cooper<br />
7-11pm<br />
Southernmost Cigar<br />
Club/90 Mile Lounge<br />
300 Front St.,<br />
upstairs 300 Front St., corner<br />
<strong>of</strong> Front and Whitehead<br />
streets, (305) 509-7780<br />
n<br />
Live blues! 7 nights a week<br />
Thursday-Saturday<br />
Moose and Bulletpro<strong>of</strong><br />
Blues Band 7:45pm<br />
Moose played the blues for 50<br />
years with suc legends as Gregg<br />
Allman, Lou Reed, David Bowie,<br />
Mitch Ryder, John Belushi,<br />
James Cotton, Koko Taylor, Lonnie<br />
Brooks, PineTop Perkins,<br />
Stevie Ray Vaughan.<br />
Sunday-Monday<br />
Larry Baeder 7:45pm<br />
Berkley grad Larry Baeder has<br />
played guitar with jazz legends<br />
Jay McShann, Illinois Jacquet,<br />
Eddie “Cleanhead”<br />
Vinson and singer Diane “Mama”<br />
Rae. After stints in Los Angeles<br />
and San Francisco, he moved to<br />
Boston to spent five years touring<br />
and recording with Capricorn<br />
rartist James Montgomery. Larry<br />
also played with legendary blues<br />
artists Muddy Waters, James<br />
Cotton, Junior Wells, Bonnie<br />
Raitt, John Lee Hooker,<br />
Buddy Guy, Matt “Guitar” Murphy,<br />
Albert King and Dan “Elwood<br />
Blues” Akroyd, while producing<br />
tracks for Boston artists.<br />
Tuesday<br />
Moose and Bulletpro<strong>of</strong><br />
Blues Band<br />
7:45pm<br />
Open Mic Jam<br />
Night<br />
Every Tuesday!<br />
Wednesday<br />
Soul City<br />
7:45pm<br />
Features Key<br />
West’s queen <strong>of</strong><br />
F U N T I M E S<br />
18 www.konklife.com<br />
soul Deb Hudson, vocals; Amy<br />
Lee (Jimmy Buffett’s sax player <strong>of</strong><br />
15 years, who also played with<br />
Charles Neville’s band), guitarist<br />
Woody Jenkins, and bass player<br />
Steve Schwartzberg.<br />
Sunset Pier<br />
Ocean Key Resort, Zero<br />
Duval St., (305) 296-7701<br />
n<br />
Every Saturday!<br />
Bongo D 12-3pm<br />
Happy Hour, 3-6pm<br />
Tribute to Bob Marley —<br />
Reggae Saturdays on the water<br />
Bongo D and Key West’s best<br />
reggae musicians in tribute to<br />
Bob Marley on the water at Sunset<br />
Pier. Project began as a onetime<br />
show celebrating Marley’s<br />
birthday, but the music was too<br />
powerful. Ensemble live and<br />
multi-talented, exchanging instruments<br />
and taking turns with lead<br />
vocals. Group is called Niceness<br />
facebook.com/reggaekeywest<br />
The Pier House<br />
Wine Gallery Piano Bar,<br />
One Duval, 296-4600<br />
n<br />
Friday-Monday 7pm<br />
Singer/pianist Larry Smith<br />
Jazz, standards, originals,<br />
singers, instrumentalists.<br />
Guests, 9pm.<br />
Sunday Showcase 9pm<br />
Singer and songwriter Mary<br />
Spear, one <strong>of</strong> the most diverse<br />
artists in the Keys since arrival in<br />
1977. Philosophy<br />
<strong>of</strong> peace,<br />
love and music<br />
was born in the<br />
1960s continues<br />
in her heart<br />
and music.<br />
Theme “Pure<br />
Love, Pure<br />
Music” prevalent in her showcase<br />
this Sunday. NEXT WEEK: Sunday<br />
Showcase Guest singer and<br />
songwriter Ray Sigismondi,<br />
<strong>May</strong> 19.<br />
Monday Jazz Jam Night 9pm<br />
Drummer Richard Crooks and<br />
bassist Tim Mc Alpine. Requisite<br />
for visiting musicians. Local<br />
instrumentalists/ singers<br />
in improv forum.<br />
| Continued on page 19
n<br />
| Continued from page 18<br />
Hog’s Breath Saloon<br />
400 Front. St., (305) 296-4222<br />
n<br />
Thursday-Sunday<br />
Dave Coleman<br />
5:30-9:30pm<br />
Dave Coleman plays with his threepiece<br />
Nashville smart-rock trio,<br />
The Coal Men, but showcases<br />
new songs before the<br />
band joins him on the<br />
Hog’s stage. Opened<br />
for acts such as Avett<br />
Brothers, Chris Knight,<br />
and Roger Clyne and<br />
the Peace Makers; also<br />
a performance on West<br />
Virginia’s Mountain<br />
Stage alongside The<br />
Squirrel Nut Zippers<br />
and Southern Culture<br />
on the Skids. Opened<br />
for and backed<br />
banjo/slide guitarist<br />
Tony Furtado on tour<br />
out west.<br />
Simplified<br />
10pm-2am<br />
Southern rock, folk,<br />
funk and reggae.<br />
Band’s tunes trip down<br />
a trail <strong>of</strong> neatly packaged<br />
stories with innovative<br />
musicianship,<br />
classy lyrics and vocals.<br />
Singular musical<br />
kingdom from sweet<br />
www.konklife.com 19<br />
F U N T I M E S<br />
Hog’s Breath Saloon<br />
Simplified<br />
ballads to power rock songs andreggae<br />
sing alongs. Magnetic quality<br />
anchored in authenticity. Pure approach<br />
to music.<br />
Friday-Sunday<br />
Green Room Riot<br />
10pm-2am<br />
Monday-Wednesday<br />
Mike and Barry 5:30-9:30pm<br />
The Coal Men 10pm-2am
The final race <strong>of</strong> the <strong>2013</strong> Schooner Wharf Wreckers Cup Race Series<br />
filled the harbor with billowing sails Sunday, April 28, with a fleet<br />
<strong>of</strong> 44 vessels competing in eight different classes. Captains and crew enjoyed a<br />
fast course with near record breaking results. At the race start conditions were<br />
an ENE blowing 18 knots with highter gusts and a slack high tide. By the finish,<br />
wind had clocked to the east with three- to five-foot rolling waves.<br />
Multhull Class and First Over All winner in the April Schooner Wharf<br />
Bar Wreckers Cup Race, Guy de Boer and Zona Nicholson<br />
MULTIHULL CLASS<br />
Key West Magnum – First Over All Guy deBoer 29:59<br />
Kiss Me or Not David Fice 31:55<br />
At Ease Mike Sellers 47:41<br />
Veritas Quest Ryan Cummings 59:20<br />
SCHOONER CLASS<br />
America 2.0 Andrew Neuhauser 34:35<br />
Appledore Eric Benson 52:31<br />
Wolf Finbar Gittleman 57:42<br />
Jolly II Rover Rio O’Bryan 58:00<br />
ON THE WRECKER RACE SCENE<br />
20 www.konklife.com<br />
CLASSIC CLASS<br />
Restless Donna Nicholson 52:16<br />
Shadow Line Scott Giffin 55:00<br />
Clay Basket Mark Fox<br />
MONOHULL OVER 40’ CLASS<br />
Floridays Alexis Ermalinski 45:33<br />
Constellation Greg Petrat 47:26<br />
Eastern Sky II Thomas Leonard 47:36<br />
Wind Dancer Richard Brown 48:29<br />
Happy Go Lucky Rusty Harper 49:52<br />
Breezin’ Captain Dees 50:00<br />
Jumpin’ Jolie Chuck Round 50:40<br />
Blue Ice Bruce Kelk 52:28<br />
High Heeled Bob McCullough 63:01<br />
Sea Spray Denis Grable<br />
MONOHULL 30’39 CLASS<br />
Black Ice Lenn Verreau 51:46<br />
Fair Winds Dave Arnold 52:02<br />
Island Princess Mark Tobin 53:16<br />
Quickly Edgar Sabbeth 53:19<br />
Moon Dawg Dan Courtney 53:36<br />
Keel-n-Time Vic Paglia 53:46<br />
Cygnus Tom Haas 54:34<br />
Defiant Bill Robinson 55:02<br />
Black Pearl Lou Lipps 56:19<br />
Sea Swan Bronnie McKiever 57:39<br />
Sea Spirit Brian Harrison 57:52<br />
Tiki Lena & Gil Scott 58:05<br />
Ardent Spirit Kiwi Chris Webster 1:07:52<br />
MONOHYLL 25-30’ CLASS<br />
Night Nurse John Smittle 52:42<br />
Island Girl Joshua Rathbone 57:27<br />
Gypsy Captain Roby 1:01:42<br />
Electric Radish John Day 1:06:30<br />
Masquerado Joe Garry 1:11:43<br />
Scott Free Robert Blanchard 1:13:13<br />
J24 CLASS<br />
Freya Evalena Worthington 53:43<br />
Red Heart Jared Lazer 55:55<br />
Harley Stu Williams 58:23<br />
MONOHULL UNDER 24’<br />
Yellow Victoria Jeep Callilouet 1:08:49<br />
MELISSA PEARSON/Key West FOTO | photographer
KWLOU<br />
LOU PETRONE<br />
| Continued from page 6<br />
The monies involved are minuscule<br />
compared to the dollars Washington<br />
normally spends.<br />
Nevertheless, the dollars become a<br />
sensitive issue in a time when the<br />
American public is still experiencing<br />
the effects <strong>of</strong> a recession.<br />
Consolidated Edison is<br />
the power company for<br />
New York City and Westchester<br />
County. Con Edison supplies the<br />
electricity. The operation and<br />
salaries <strong>of</strong> its employees comes from<br />
electric users in New York City and<br />
Westchester County. There is a<br />
monthly power bill that must be<br />
paid in order to continue receiving<br />
electricity.<br />
Last year was not the best for<br />
Con Edison. There was hurricane<br />
Sandy, heat outages and other problems.<br />
New York’s Governor Cuomo<br />
thought Con Edison did a lousy job<br />
in restoring power following Sandy.<br />
He appointed a committee to study<br />
Con Edison’s failures, if any.<br />
Con Edison also had a labor dispute<br />
last year. The primary issues<br />
involved pensions and health care.<br />
Nothing was getting resolved. Con<br />
Edison did a lockout. Closed it<br />
doors to its employees — 8,000 <strong>of</strong><br />
them. Normally employees strike.<br />
Not in this instance. It took Gov.<br />
Cuomo’s involvement to settle the<br />
dispute so the locked out employees<br />
could return to work.<br />
Con Edison’s Board decided the<br />
top echelon executive staff did a<br />
good job last year. Especially in the<br />
handling <strong>of</strong> Sandy and the lockout.<br />
They voted $600,000 in extra<br />
bonuses to the executives. Con Edison’s<br />
top people receive yearly a<br />
fixed salary and bonus. This bonus<br />
was in addition to the usual bonus.<br />
Con Edison’s Board chairman<br />
and president, Kenneth Burke, was<br />
paid $350,000 <strong>of</strong> the $600,000. For<br />
a job well done. His income totaled<br />
$7.4 million last year. A nice piece<br />
<strong>of</strong> change.<br />
In the meantime, Con Edison<br />
has applied for permission to increase<br />
its rates $400 million. Does<br />
not make sense to me.<br />
www.konklife.com 21<br />
Drugs are expensive.<br />
The kind you purchase<br />
in a drugstore. Cancer is a big killer.<br />
Drugs to treat cancer are more expensive.<br />
Extremely expensive. <strong>Life</strong>saving<br />
cancer drugs cost $100,000 a<br />
year. 100 cancer specialists from<br />
around the world recently protested<br />
the high cost <strong>of</strong> cancer drugs. The<br />
doctors protesting represented 15<br />
countries and five continents.<br />
They want the drug companies<br />
to lower significantly the price <strong>of</strong><br />
cancer drugs. The doctors described<br />
the costs so high as to be immoral.<br />
Some cannot afford the drugs. They<br />
go without. There remains no hope.<br />
They suffer, they die. The doctors<br />
believe if the drugs were more affordable,<br />
more would live.<br />
These doctors are to be commended.<br />
I am surprised they have<br />
spoken out. Doctors have universally<br />
refrained from criticising pharmaceutical<br />
houses.<br />
The doctors made another comparison.<br />
They said the high proceeds<br />
charged are a form <strong>of</strong><br />
pr<strong>of</strong>iteering. Similar to what some<br />
vendors <strong>of</strong> gas and food do after a<br />
natural disaster such as a hurricane.<br />
They raise prices where there is a<br />
need without justification, except to<br />
make a dollar killing.<br />
The final example involves Novartis.<br />
Novartis is one <strong>of</strong> the world’s<br />
largest drug makers. Its home base<br />
is Switzerland. Two lawsuits have<br />
recently been brought against Novartis.<br />
The first by a former sales<br />
representative. He brought suit<br />
under a federal whistleblower<br />
statute. He claimed Novartis provided<br />
doctors with a dollar incentive<br />
to use it drugs. Kickback is the<br />
term. He claimed Novartis had<br />
made kickbacks in the millions <strong>of</strong><br />
dollars. The sales rep was able to<br />
sue under the federal statute because<br />
two federal programs were involved<br />
where it is claimed the<br />
United States was being ripped <strong>of</strong>f.<br />
Obviously kickbacks increase the<br />
cost <strong>of</strong> a product.<br />
The two programs were<br />
Medicare and Medicaid.<br />
Within a week <strong>of</strong> the lawsuit<br />
being filed, the United States joined<br />
the lawsuit.<br />
| Continued on page 26<br />
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R E V I E W O N S T A G E<br />
‘Deathtrap’ | 8pm showtime<br />
By Diane Johnson<br />
The Waterfront Playhouse production <strong>of</strong> Deathtrap is an<br />
intricate mystery thriller, whose hair-raising revelations will<br />
keep you on the edge <strong>of</strong> your seat. David Black plays Sidney Bruhl, the<br />
guy with a serious case <strong>of</strong> writer’s block, who will do anything to get<br />
back on top <strong>of</strong> his game. In fact, it’s been 18 years since he had a<br />
successful screenplay. Mark Watson is cast as the gifted young playwright<br />
Clifford with a very promising first draft. The tension inherent in the two<br />
writers relationship vacillates between camaraderie and jealousy, creating<br />
an energy that sizzles across the stage!<br />
Mary Falconer is Myra, Sidney’s naïve and sickly wife who doesn’t<br />
understand why he can’t get his act together. If only the words would<br />
flow, they could stop using up her inheritance. Geno Drum plays Porter<br />
Milgrim, Sidney’s attorney. Although Porter has a relatively small part in<br />
the story, his observations have serious unintended consequences. Chris<br />
Stone is Helga Ten Dorp, the psychic who picks up bad vibes and<br />
knows all is not well in the house where Sidney and Myra live. Chris<br />
is an experienced actress, who has lived in Key West since 1976. She is a<br />
healer, a landscape artist and has a long list <strong>of</strong> roles in her acting repertoire.<br />
This Renaissance woman is a force to be reckoned with on the stage.<br />
Bob Bowersox directs this cleverly constructed murder mystery thriller<br />
designed to shock the audience. Your inner sleuth is sorely tested when<br />
you attempt to figure out what is happening and why, but as each scene<br />
unfolds we are confounded with yet new and startling information.<br />
“Deathtrap” defies conventional wisdom as its twists its way from<br />
the first scene to the final hilarious conclusion. Michael Boyer creates<br />
a unique set <strong>of</strong> the old Westport, Connecticut, house where the story<br />
takes place. David Bird manages the lighting; Leigh Hooten is in charge<br />
<strong>of</strong> costumes; Carmen Rodriguez oversees the murder weapons, and<br />
Trish Manley is the stage manager.<br />
“Deathtrap” was written by Ira Levin and has the distinction <strong>of</strong> being<br />
the longest running comedy thriller on Broadway. Back in 1982 it was<br />
made into a movie starring Michael Caine, Dyan Cannon and Christopher<br />
Reeve. “Deathtrap” was one <strong>of</strong> the first American movies to show two men<br />
kissing. As recent as last August, in Los Angeles, the estate <strong>of</strong> Ira Levin<br />
filed a cease and desist notice to keep the Gay and Lesbian Center from<br />
staging “Deathtrap.” Their objection was based on a 30-second scene<br />
<strong>of</strong> Clifford’s bare buns. Upon appeal, conditional approval was granted<br />
with the caveat that no physical relationship could be shown between<br />
Sidney and the young protégé Clifford. As a result, the production was<br />
canceled.<br />
As a lover <strong>of</strong> mysteries, I found the Waterfront production<br />
<strong>of</strong> “Deathtrap” a delightful finale to its 73rd season. The show runs<br />
through <strong>May</strong> 18.<br />
INFO<br />
(305) 294-5015, www.WaterfrontPlayhouse.org<br />
22 www.konklife.com<br />
Florida Keys Council <strong>of</strong> the Arts<br />
Cultural Calendar: Send in events<br />
by ursday noon to Florida Keys<br />
Council <strong>of</strong> the Arts to email address:<br />
calendar@keysarts.com<br />
Key West Happenings<br />
ARTS COUNCIL<br />
Artists in Schools Grant Deadline June 30<br />
The Florida Keys Council <strong>of</strong> the Arts invites artists and teachers to apply.<br />
The streamlined application is available online at: www.keysarts.com<br />
Thursday, <strong>May</strong> 16<br />
Board Meeting & Annual Meeting, 11 AM<br />
Marathon Community Theater, 5101 Overseas Hwy. 295-4369.<br />
info@keysarts.com<br />
ARTIST RECEPTIONS & EXHIBITIONS<br />
Saturday, <strong>May</strong> 11<br />
Wilhelmina Harvey’s Art Estate Exhibit, 11 AM Gallery on Greene, 606<br />
Greene St. 294-1669. galleryongreene@bellsouth.net<br />
Wednesday, <strong>May</strong> 15<br />
“Visions and Dreams” Exhibit, 9 AM Gato Building, 1100 Simonton St.<br />
295-4369. Celebrating the visions & dreams <strong>of</strong> 20 Take Stock in Children<br />
(TSiC) students. Portraits <strong>of</strong> the students by Mike Marrero show their<br />
eagerness to take responsibility for their own lives & futures. Stories about<br />
the students, their families & mentors depict their visions for themselves.<br />
CLASSES & WORKSHOPS<br />
Saturday, <strong>May</strong> 11<br />
Mother’s Day Gift Making with Maggie Ruley, 10 AM The Studios <strong>of</strong> Key<br />
West, 600 White St. 296-0458. Open to ages 6 & up, kids will create painted<br />
flowerpots, which will then be filled with a potted flower. tskw.org<br />
Wednesday, <strong>May</strong> 15<br />
Digital Photography with Michael Marrero, 9 AM The Studios <strong>of</strong> Key West,<br />
600 White St. 296-0458. tskw.org<br />
FESTIVALS & FUNDRAISERS<br />
Friday thru Monday, <strong>May</strong> 10 - 13<br />
Key West 2nd Annual Mystery Fest at Waterfront Playhouse, 310 Wall St.<br />
294-5015. Mystery Fest <strong>2013</strong> starts with the Classic Mystery Deathtrap, production<br />
runs through <strong>May</strong> 18th. Variety <strong>of</strong> events, visit website for tickets &<br />
information. waterfrontplayhouse.org<br />
Saturday, <strong>May</strong> 11<br />
“A Pink Panther Affair”, 7 PM The Gardens Hotel, 526 Angela St. A stellar<br />
cast directed by Bob Bowersox will present “The Pink Lace Diamond Murder<br />
Mystery.” Food by Iron Chefs & music by Jimmy Olsen. Suggested attire<br />
Shades <strong>of</strong> Pink. waterfrontplayhouse.org<br />
FILM<br />
Friday, <strong>May</strong> 10<br />
Tropic Cinema – Critically Acclaimed, 7 PM Bryn Mawr Film Institute presents<br />
a simulcast evening, all in person, with five prominent critics: A.O. Scott,<br />
The New York Times, Lisa Schwarzbaum, Critic on the loose, late <strong>of</strong> Entertainment<br />
Weekly Carrie Rickey, Film Critic & Writer Steven Rea, The<br />
Philadelphia Inquirer.<br />
Monday, <strong>May</strong> 13<br />
Tropic Cinema – Stanley Kubrick Series: KILLER’S KISS, 7 PM<br />
Director: Stanley Kubrick, Stars: Frank Silvera, Jamie Smith, Irene Kane<br />
As a man waits at a train station for his girl, he tells about the recent past.<br />
Tuesday, <strong>May</strong> 14<br />
Opera in Cinema Series: NABUCCO, 7 PM Royal Opera House, conducted<br />
by Nicola Luisotti, Starring Plácido Domingo. Sung in Italian.<br />
Tropic Cinema, 416 Eaton St. 877-761-3456. tropiccinmea.com.<br />
Wednesday, <strong>May</strong> 15<br />
Ibis Bay “Dive-In” Movie: Raising Arizona, 7:30 PM Ibis Bay Beach Resort,<br />
3101 N. Roosevelt Blvd. Michael Shields, 394-3804. Weekly Wednesdays.<br />
| Continued on page 23
T R O P I C S P R O C K E T S<br />
n I N R E V I E W W I T H<br />
Ian Brockway<br />
Mud<br />
From the punchy director Jeff<br />
Nichols (Take Shelter)<br />
comes a riveting man-on-the-run tale that<br />
combines the hard bitten grit <strong>of</strong> “Winter’s<br />
Bone” with the adolescent bonding<br />
<strong>of</strong> Huckleberry Finn or Rob Reiner’s<br />
“Stand By Me” (1986).<br />
“Mud” is the story <strong>of</strong> Arkansas River<br />
boys Ellis, earthily played by Tye Sheridan<br />
(Tree <strong>of</strong> <strong>Life</strong>) and Neckbone by Jacob<br />
L<strong>of</strong>land in a debut performance who<br />
stumbles upon an enigmatic stranger<br />
named Mud (Matthew McConaughey).<br />
The kids are driven by romantic escapism<br />
and spy a boat on an island. Little do<br />
they know the boat is inhabited by a<br />
grungy sc<strong>of</strong>flaw resembling a blonde rattlesnake<br />
with a dissipating smile.<br />
Ellis, troubled by the threat <strong>of</strong> his parents<br />
divorce, latches onto Mud who embodies<br />
freedom and self reliance. Squintyeyed<br />
Neckbone doesn’t trust the guy but<br />
is intrigued by his spirit plus the kids<br />
want the boat. They proceed to make a<br />
deal with Mud to exchange boat for food.<br />
Back at home Ellis’ father is foul tempered<br />
and battling against wife and<br />
mother (Sarah Paulson). After one bit <strong>of</strong><br />
domestic strife, the father (Ray McKinnon)<br />
tells Ellis that love never works.<br />
While Mud confesses he is a lover in<br />
exile, driven to solitude by trying to protect<br />
his lost love Juniper (Reese Witherspoon).<br />
Mud admits he did kill a man,<br />
but it was essentially a matter <strong>of</strong> honor<br />
and self-protection given the shadowy<br />
man was something <strong>of</strong> “Old Scratch” (i.e.<br />
the devil). As his family crumbles, Ellis<br />
idealizes the concept <strong>of</strong> love. Near a shopping<br />
center he sees a girl being violently<br />
harassed and socks the belligerent senior.<br />
As he does these acts, he feels a sense<br />
<strong>of</strong> righteousness and identification with<br />
Mud with his intense vocabulary <strong>of</strong> luck<br />
charms, devils, snakes and worlds reformed<br />
by kisses. Although Ellis is a mere<br />
child, he has something <strong>of</strong> Scorcese’s<br />
Travis Bickle in him. At the sight <strong>of</strong> a<br />
woman under threat, a button is pushed,<br />
and <strong>of</strong>f he goes. While watching Juniper<br />
being hit by the heavy Carver (Paul<br />
Sparks) Ellis gets socked in the nose.<br />
More closely, Ellis is a kind <strong>of</strong> voyeur and<br />
a bit in common with snooping Jeffrey in<br />
“Blue Velvet.” Like Jeffrey, Ellis is intrigued<br />
by danger and identifies with the<br />
archetype <strong>of</strong> woman (or man) in trouble.<br />
Elements <strong>of</strong> this story have been done<br />
before, <strong>of</strong> young ones bewitched by the<br />
spell <strong>of</strong> the strange man or outlaw, but<br />
McConaughey is so twitchy and sly here,<br />
(complete with a cheesecloth shirt that he<br />
sheds like snakeskin) that he never bores.<br />
Fortunately he is also loon-hearted with a<br />
soul full <strong>of</strong> slugs and his role never drifts<br />
into the sinkhole <strong>of</strong> cliche cartoons. The<br />
iconic actor has a real texture in this film<br />
that he lacks in many other roles. The climax<br />
alone has real anxiety that recalls the<br />
heart-stopping seconds <strong>of</strong> “True Grit”<br />
and “Unforgiven.”<br />
For those who want a kind <strong>of</strong> Southern<br />
Gothic Mark Twain yarn with some<br />
old Western trappings <strong>of</strong> revenge, all<br />
bound up and tied in adolescence, the<br />
understatedly-titled film “Mud” more<br />
than delivers.<br />
Beyond the Hills<br />
Anew film based on the<br />
Orthodox-themed nonfiction<br />
novels by Tatiana Niculescu Bran<br />
and directed by the acclaimed Christian<br />
Mungiu (4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days)<br />
confronts the issues <strong>of</strong> mental illness, the<br />
attachments <strong>of</strong> love and, yes, the ritual<br />
<strong>of</strong> exorcism in the church. Two girls,<br />
Voichita (Cosmina Stratan) and Alina<br />
(Cristina Flutur) are best friends in a<br />
Romanian orphanage. As fate has it, they<br />
separate, only to cross paths again. At the<br />
film’s start, Alina is moved to tears upon<br />
meeting Voichita at her new calling, a<br />
convent nun. It is evident right away that<br />
Alina is an emotional and turbulent<br />
young woman. Indeed, she embraces<br />
Voichita in a death-grip hello greeting.<br />
While a willing visiting resident at<br />
first, Alina begins to get possessive <strong>of</strong> her<br />
soulmate, and we suspect that Alina is in<br />
love with Voichita, though not explicitly<br />
| Continued on page 25<br />
www.konklife.com 23<br />
Key West Happenings<br />
| Continued from page 22<br />
MUSIC<br />
Nightly Entertainment —<br />
Tavern N’ Town, 5 PM Marriot Beachside, 3841 N. Roosevelt Blvd.<br />
Featured entertainers Carmen Rodriguez, Mike Emerson, Bobby<br />
Nesbitt & Rob DiStasi.<br />
Thursdays<br />
Bobby Nesbitt on the Piano, 4:30 PM Salute, 1000 Atlantic Blvd.<br />
292-1117. Ali Agca, Jazz & Blues Guitarist, 9 PM<br />
Little Room Jazz Club, 821 Duval St. 292-5724. Turkey’s top jazz<br />
& blues guitarist, Berklee graduate, appears Thursdays through<br />
the end <strong>of</strong> <strong>May</strong>.<br />
Thursdays thru Sundays<br />
In the Cabaret & Jazz in the Gardens, 5:30 PM The Gardens<br />
Hotel, 526 Angela St. 294-2661. gardenshotel.com<br />
Tuesdays<br />
Pat & Debra Quintet, 9 PM Virgillio’s, 524 Duval St. 296-1075.<br />
From classic rock, blues, swing, and funky dance grooves, Skipper’s<br />
weekly “League <strong>of</strong> Crafty Musicians” series with singer extraordinaire,<br />
Miz Debra Dean, and her partner, the infamous Pat<br />
Lawler, on keyboards and guitar.<br />
THEATER<br />
Thursday & Sunday, <strong>May</strong> 9 & 12<br />
Key West Fringe Theater — Key West Characters Night 1 & 2:<br />
Conch Republic (The Musical!), 8 PM Kelly’s Caribbean Upstairs,<br />
301 Whitehead. 295-7676. A rolicking musical tale <strong>of</strong> the Conchs<br />
taking on the Feds in one <strong>of</strong> the greatest PR stunts ever.<br />
The music & lyrics by Gayla Morgan & book Monnie King.<br />
KeyWestFringe.org or keystix.com<br />
Thursday thru Saturday, <strong>May</strong> 9-11<br />
BUM and MARION, 8 PM Key West Firehouse, 1026 Grinnell St.<br />
786-529-2281. The “Poinciana War” between the larger-than-life<br />
Fire Chief Bum Farto & his aristocratic neighbor Peggy Mills, <strong>of</strong><br />
garden fame. Written by Tony Konrath & Vanessa McCaffrey. The<br />
Firehouse will <strong>of</strong>fer a Chili Supper at 7 PM before every show to<br />
benefit the museum. keywestfring.orgkeystix.com<br />
Thursdays thru Saturdays, to <strong>May</strong> 18<br />
THE WATERFRONT PLAYHOUSE<br />
Waterfront Playhouse, 310 Wall St. 294-5015.<br />
waterfrontplayhouse.org<br />
A successful writer <strong>of</strong> Broadway mysteries struggles to overcome<br />
a “dry” spell, and he’ll do just about anything to be back on top.<br />
The longest-running comedy thriller on Broadway.<br />
Monday, <strong>May</strong> 13<br />
Waterfront Playhouse presents: Behind the Scenes, 6 PM<br />
310 Wall St. 294-5015. Backstage tour <strong>of</strong> the set for “Deathtrap” at<br />
the Waterfront Playhouse with Artistic Director Danny Weathers &<br />
Technical Director Michael Boyer.<br />
RED BARN THEATRE<br />
Tuesdays thru Saturdays, to <strong>May</strong> 25<br />
Oklahoma Smith and the Pantheon <strong>of</strong> Annihilation, 8 PM<br />
Red Barn Theatre, 319 Duval St. 296-9911. redbarntheatre.com<br />
Parody, adventure & humor abound in this original action adventure<br />
as famed explorer Oklahoma Smith & his trusty sidekick set<br />
out to find the lost “Book <strong>of</strong> the Dead” and save the world. The plot<br />
twists and turns as each major decision in this “choose your own<br />
adventure” is decided by the audience.<br />
■
<strong>May</strong> 10-13<br />
Key West Mystery Festival<br />
Add up the clues and the solution becomes obvious.<br />
Savvy sleuths make tracts to the Second Annual<br />
Key West Mystery Fest, <strong>May</strong> 10-13. Fest starts with<br />
the classic mystery DEATHTRAP by Waterfront<br />
Playhouse, which runs through <strong>May</strong> 18.<br />
Channel the inner detective to determine who<br />
C O M M U N I T Y E V E N T<br />
killed Peter Gordon and why at “A Pink Panther Affair”<br />
7 p.m. Saturday, <strong>May</strong> 11, on the grounds <strong>of</strong> the<br />
Gardens Hotel, 526 Angela St.<br />
A stellar cast directed by Bob Bowersox in “The<br />
Pink Lace Diamond Murder Mystery” reveals clues<br />
for evaluating the evidence and finding the solution.<br />
In between performances, attendees treated to Iron<br />
Chef tasters and music by Jimmy Olsen. Suggested attireis<br />
shades <strong>of</strong> pink.<br />
24 www.konklife.com<br />
Mobile Business Services<br />
The Key West Citizen’s Mystery Fest Short Story<br />
Contest challenge aspiring mystery writers to complete<br />
their own ending to a mystery introduction<br />
written by Jonathan Woods — “Mr .Magoo and the<br />
Stranger” — in 500 words or less. Cash prize awards<br />
in two categories. Finalists works read at a Mystery<br />
Short Story Breakfast, <strong>May</strong> 12, at The Westin Resort<br />
and Marina. Winning stories published in The Key<br />
West Citizen. INFO (305) 294-5025
TROPICSPROCKETS<br />
IAN BROCKWAY<br />
| Continued from page 23<br />
stated in sexual terms. There is a tense massage<br />
scene, but when Alina’s breasts spill like apples,<br />
Voichita counters with chaste and stern eyes<br />
with all the razor-sharpness <strong>of</strong> a Vermeer under<br />
a dark habit.<br />
Alina starts to challenge her friend, coercing<br />
Voichita to leave the monastery and asking with<br />
frankness if Voichita is having sex with the stentorian<br />
priest (Valeriu Andriuta). Voichita is appalled<br />
by the suggestion, but shrugs it <strong>of</strong>f. Alina<br />
again pressures her to join her in Germany for a<br />
short stay. Voichita tentatively agrees.<br />
With the passing <strong>of</strong> a few days, Voichita gets<br />
cold feet and rejects the plan. Her path is with<br />
God, the monastery and the priest, known by<br />
her as Papa. Initially all seems rosy, but during a<br />
Mass, Alina violently interrupts the service and<br />
goes into a rage. She curses and endures convulsions<br />
and it is thought by the sisters that she<br />
has epilepsy. Although it is unclear, Alina hears<br />
voices and the general consensus is Alina is experiencing<br />
some form <strong>of</strong> schizophrenia. The sisters<br />
push the hospital to allow Alina to stay, but<br />
no beds are available. The priest also asserts he<br />
has no room in the monastery. A Kafkaesque<br />
condition plays out where Alina is perceived as<br />
the one not welcome.<br />
Despite its subject, “Beyond the Hills” is no<br />
horror film. Alina’s condition seems increasingly<br />
to be that <strong>of</strong> a spurned lover and the priest himself<br />
resists supernatural explanations. Throughout<br />
the film there is the philosophic question<br />
that the priest and medical establishment is<br />
concerned with healing the sick: one is <strong>of</strong> the<br />
body <strong>of</strong> science, the other the spirit <strong>of</strong> Faith.<br />
Whether you want science or faith to be your<br />
salvation, depends on you. This film is dispassionately<br />
shaded and holds no agenda.<br />
“Beyond the Hills” has little horror, one<br />
quick shot in particular almost gave me a jolt <strong>of</strong><br />
inexorable fright: Voichita peers through the<br />
window at Alina’s chained body. Her face is<br />
pale, tinged gray and bloated, her breath visible<br />
through her mouth and nose which rises like<br />
accursed steam. I averted my eyes and waited.<br />
The moment passed.<br />
“Beyond the Hills” has a painterly quality<br />
with some forbidding black-habited nuns going<br />
forth as deliberate cawing crows on fields <strong>of</strong><br />
blinding white snow, while its distant and matter-<strong>of</strong>-fact<br />
tone recalls the deftly expert film on<br />
Bruegel, Majewski’s “The Mill and the Cross.”<br />
The end, featuring an atheist female doctor,<br />
is the final piece de resistance <strong>of</strong> the film, as is<br />
the addition <strong>of</strong> an avalanche <strong>of</strong> mud sweeping<br />
across a police caravan as the priest duly waits<br />
within. Miles away, a respected monastery may<br />
be fraught with supernal blights and celestial<br />
struggles, but on the secular highway <strong>of</strong> cause<br />
and effect, life wheels on in neutrality. ■<br />
www.konklife.com 25<br />
Y O U R M O N R O E C O U N T Y<br />
Back row: Marilyn Mesa, Christin Cannon, Cristina<br />
Whittingham, Amy Ginjauma, Elizabeth Fernandez,<br />
Andrea Geldenhuys. Front row: Caitlin Williams,<br />
Tami Vandrie, Kristin Trail, Christina Boza, Jennifer<br />
Kirisits.<br />
■<br />
FKCC pins, graduates 13 nurses<br />
Florida Keys Community College marked the graduation<br />
<strong>of</strong> 13 soon-to-be nurses with a traditional nurses’ pinning<br />
ceremony. Each graduate was pinned by select family<br />
members, friends, faculty or mentors marking the completion<br />
<strong>of</strong> nursing school. Originating with nursing pioneer<br />
Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, the presentation<br />
<strong>of</strong> the nurse’s pin and lighting <strong>of</strong> the nurse’s lamp<br />
symbolically initiates new nurses to the pr<strong>of</strong>ession.<br />
Keynote speaker Lower Keys Medical Center’s Patient<br />
Advocacy Manager and FKCC alumnus Mary Jackson<br />
spoke to the graduates about the importance <strong>of</strong> caring in<br />
the nursing pr<strong>of</strong>ession. Local physician Dr. Jerome Covington<br />
shared words <strong>of</strong> inspiration. FKCC Faculty members<br />
Julie Sagan and Shannon Sperry presented awards to the<br />
highest performing students. Marilyn Mesa was recognized<br />
for excellence in clinical practice and high academic<br />
achievement. Kristin Trail received the award for pr<strong>of</strong>essional<br />
leadership.<br />
FKCC’s Associate in Science in Nursing is a limited-access,<br />
22-month program that prepares students to meet the<br />
health care needs <strong>of</strong> diverse populations. Graduates are eligible<br />
to take the NCLEX-RN state exam to become registered<br />
nurses. FKCC holds a high NCLEX-RN pass rate<br />
with 100 percent <strong>of</strong> graduates over the last two years earning<br />
licensure compared to 87 percent state average and 82<br />
percent national average.<br />
FKCC’s next nursing cohort begins in August.<br />
Applications accepted until <strong>May</strong> 24.<br />
INFO<br />
FKCC Nursing&Alllied Health program,<br />
fkcc.educ/academiccs/as-nursing.da<br />
<strong>May</strong> 18<br />
KEYS 100<br />
Ultramarathon<br />
Some <strong>of</strong> the best endurance<br />
runners in the country and<br />
from overseas navigate 40 bridges flanked<br />
by the Atlantic Ocean, Florida Bay and<br />
Gulf <strong>of</strong> Mexico during the sixth annual<br />
KEYS100 Ultramarathon through the<br />
Florida Keys.<br />
KEYS100 includes three competitions<br />
that follow the island chain’s Overseas<br />
Highway: 100-mile individual race from<br />
Key Largo to Key West; 50-mile individual<br />
race from Marathon to Key West; 100mile,<br />
six-runner team relay race from Key<br />
Largo to Key West. Top honors awarded<br />
in each race.<br />
Before the event, pre-race pasta dinner<br />
5-9 p.m. Friday, <strong>May</strong> 17, at Bogie’s Café,<br />
Key Largo Holiday Inn, Mile Marker 100.<br />
Tickets $10 for an all-you-can-eat buffet.<br />
Saturday morning, the 100-mile team<br />
relay and individual races begin 6 a.m.<br />
and 6:10 a.m., respectively, on the sidewalk<br />
near MM 100 oceanside at Key<br />
Largo’s Divers Direct and Office Depot<br />
shopping center. The 50-mile ultra begins<br />
10 a.m. in front <strong>of</strong> the Marathon Garden<br />
Club at MM 50.<br />
Nearly 80 percent <strong>of</strong> the race is run on<br />
bike paths, pedestrian bridges and service<br />
lanes with the remainder on road shoulders<br />
facing traffic. All individual runners<br />
provided aid station support with food,<br />
drinks and related items at 10-mile<br />
intervals and at Mile Markers 75 and 25.<br />
All races end at the same finish line at<br />
Key West’s Higgs Beach.<br />
No roads or lanes are to be closed and,<br />
as in past years, no traffic disruption is<br />
expected, according to event organizers.<br />
Awards program noon Sunday beneath<br />
a large tented area at the finish line.<br />
Registration is $250 for 100-mile<br />
individual race; $210 for 50-mile<br />
individual race; $720 per relay team.<br />
Active military and first responders get<br />
20 percent discount. All participants<br />
must be registered by <strong>May</strong> 12.<br />
The competitions benefit the Cancer<br />
Foundation <strong>of</strong> the Florida Keys.<br />
More than 1,100 athletes plus support<br />
crew, volunteers, family and friends expected<br />
to participate in the race through<br />
the Keys.<br />
INFO<br />
www.keys100.com
n<br />
There is a National Burger Month!<br />
The hamburger has long been considered<br />
America’s un<strong>of</strong>ficial food. Since its founding by<br />
two Americans in London 40 years ago, Hard<br />
Rock Cafe has served as a burger ambassador.<br />
“Bite it, Snap it, Post it, Win it” celebrates the<br />
burger with a beach getaway to Hard Rock<br />
Hotel and Casino, Punta Cana. The promotion<br />
runs through <strong>May</strong>. Check it out!<br />
INFO www.hardrockburger.com<br />
n<br />
<strong>May</strong> 14<br />
SSF benefit<br />
Sister Season Fund’s run on Aqua Idol featured<br />
a special celebration on Tuesday honoring the<br />
birthday <strong>of</strong> SSF’s president emeritus, former<br />
Fantasy Fest Queen and community icon Ginger<br />
King. Series runs 6:30-8:00 p.m. every<br />
Tuesday at Aqua Nightclub, 711 Duval St.<br />
Emcee is J.B. McLendon. “The way this Idol<br />
program works is whoever raises the least<br />
amount <strong>of</strong> money is voted <strong>of</strong>f the next week.<br />
This is all about charity,” said King. Eight<br />
singers — Steve Burress, Loleta (Leigh)<br />
Chavez, Paul Clift, Erin Harrelson, Kaleb<br />
O U T B A C K<br />
K E Y H A P P E N I N G S<br />
Smith, Laurie Thibaud, Danny Zamora —<br />
compete to support the “locals helping locals”<br />
charity.<br />
n<br />
<strong>May</strong> 18<br />
LVA workshop<br />
A tutor training workshop certifying volunteer<br />
tutors in LVA English as a second language<br />
program is scheduled for Saturday, <strong>May</strong> 18.<br />
(Inset) Literacy Volunteers Gail Trenholm and<br />
Stephanie Howe showed their true colors at<br />
the second annual Keys Bees Costumed<br />
Spelling Bee with the Key West Sunrise Rotary<br />
<strong>of</strong> the Conch Republic. Event raised $4,000<br />
for Literacy Volunteers <strong>of</strong> America/LVA in<br />
Monroe County, Inc. LVA literacy programs<br />
benefit students who seek to improve reading,<br />
writing and English communication skills.<br />
INFO (305) 294-4352<br />
Monroe CHD, OAAB met on elders health issues<br />
Older Americans Advisory Board met Monroe County Health Department at a get-together<br />
at the Marathon public library. OAAB members received the Monroe County<br />
Community Health Almanac, emergency preparedness guides for hurricane season,<br />
information on adult immunizations and lip balms and sunscreen packets. The future<br />
<strong>of</strong> in-home care and assisted living in the Florida Keys was discussed. For a copy<br />
<strong>of</strong> the almanac, call (305) 809-5653. From left, Henry Bik<strong>of</strong>sky, Joan Higgs, OAAB<br />
chairperson Fran Carlisle, J.D. Grech, Monroe CHD Administrator Bob Eadie<br />
and Monroe County Commissioner Sylvia Murphy.<br />
26 www.konklife.com<br />
UPFRONT<br />
NORMAN DE PLUME<br />
| Continued from page 9<br />
community. Additionally, I suggested he keep his day job for the<br />
foreseeable future.<br />
Ted has a positive attitude and has demonstrated a willingness<br />
to work. He and girl friend Anna are making it in Key West.<br />
They have discovered the natural beauty <strong>of</strong> the island and surrounding<br />
water. They like boating and swimming at a time there<br />
is still ice on the ponds and lakes in Pennsylvania. They came to<br />
Key West and are living the dream, more than they ever expected<br />
it can be done.<br />
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, life is but a<br />
dream (live it). A day <strong>of</strong> male bonding, a nice lunch with a friend,<br />
a new friend . . . a typical day in Paradise.<br />
■<br />
WININGTHE KEYS<br />
STEVEN CALDERWOOD<br />
| Continued from page 11<br />
Once our red has finished the fermentation, the “free run” juice<br />
(this is the juice that was released after the first crushing) is siphoned<br />
<strong>of</strong>f and then the remaining “must” may be pressed to separate<br />
the last <strong>of</strong> the juice from the skins and seeds from where<br />
they get the wine’s color and tannins. It’s normally then put in<br />
oak barrels to age and then bottled.<br />
That’s how grapes become wine in the most basic <strong>of</strong> scenarios,<br />
but each individual wine’s process is much more complex. The<br />
winemaker is constantly tasting and analyzing samples throughout<br />
the process and deciding what needs to happen and when in<br />
order to create the flavor pr<strong>of</strong>ile they’re looking to produce.<br />
On average, wine consists <strong>of</strong> 86 percent water, 11.2 percent alcohol<br />
and 2.8 percent other. Over 250 compounds have been<br />
identified in that “other” portion <strong>of</strong> the wine. Wine is more complex<br />
than blood, and it’s those 250 compounds that winemakers<br />
try to balance to come up with the flavors they want in their<br />
wine. And that’s why they get the big bucks.<br />
That’s it for this week, so until next time —<br />
wine a bit, you’ll feel better.<br />
■<br />
KWLOU<br />
LOU PETRONE<br />
| Continued from page 21<br />
Two examples <strong>of</strong> the kickback scheme were set forth in the<br />
legal papers. One was paying doctors healthy speaking fees. Take<br />
for example a doctor from some community in the East sent to a<br />
Las Vegas conference. All expenses paid and a healthy honorarium<br />
for speaking. The doctor becomes an instantaneous expert. A well<br />
paid one.<br />
Another gimmick used was providing opulent meals. Nobu is<br />
a world-famous Japanese restaurant in Dallas. Three for dinner.<br />
The bill $10,000. Would you believe! Of course, these benefits to<br />
the doctors probably were written <strong>of</strong>f as a business expense.<br />
Thereby reducing the tax obligation <strong>of</strong> Novartis, if any.<br />
These examples are interesting and informative. At the same<br />
time disgusting. We are being had. Put upon. I do not know the<br />
solution. The rich do get richer. They do what they want when<br />
we want. Without fear. They are the big guys.<br />
■
T H E G A D A B O U T<br />
MONOGAMY . . .<br />
I’LL GIVE IT A WHIRL<br />
It’s a mad mad, mad, mad, mad<br />
world. Bizarro. First, Bitchin Paradise<br />
falls in love and now me? And<br />
Kim Kardashian is finally divorced.<br />
Everything is upside down. Just can’t<br />
be true. I was OK being a bitter bastard.<br />
Im used to it. Well, I was anyway.<br />
A man has entered my life, and I<br />
don’t know what to do. I’m actually<br />
happy with him and everything that<br />
goes along with him. I usually don’t<br />
want anyone to touch my fucking<br />
toothpaste much less stay at my house.<br />
I still can’t find anything wrong<br />
with him either. He even knew not to<br />
introduce a sponge into my house because<br />
its an open Petrie dish. I never<br />
even had to say it. I wish that I could<br />
get him pregnant and trap him for<br />
good.<br />
I had to say adios to my Mexican<br />
after 3 1/2 years. It’s huge that someone<br />
broke his crazy spell over me and<br />
that I was able to end it.<br />
So I’m waiting for the other shoe to<br />
drop. I’m actually preparing for my interview<br />
with Dr. Phil discussing how I<br />
was swindled out <strong>of</strong> my life savings<br />
and have to go back to work. Why<br />
can’t I just relax?<br />
Did you see that episode <strong>of</strong> “The<br />
Golden Girls” when Dorothy met the<br />
most amazingly wonderful and successful<br />
man? I think it was Dick Van<br />
Dyke. She was so happy after having<br />
been shit on her entire life. Then he<br />
had to leave her to follow his dream <strong>of</strong><br />
becoming a clown in the traveling circus.<br />
Yes, I am waiting for the other<br />
oversized shoe to drop just like<br />
Dorothy. One dropped a bit last night.<br />
He told me that he wants to continue<br />
his education. Fuck me. I’m not talking<br />
a seminar. It’s more like three<br />
years. He has already had like 30 years<br />
<strong>of</strong> education. (I’m not kidding.) And<br />
he wants more?<br />
When I went to college it was just<br />
to do drugs, hallucinate and maybe the<br />
occasional sex. Why can’t he just be<br />
happy with that?<br />
Ambition is a double-edged sword.<br />
www.konklife.com 27<br />
I’m happy just to fall out <strong>of</strong> bed and<br />
go to the pool or the couch for the day.<br />
<strong>May</strong>be then a couple <strong>of</strong> drinks and<br />
back to bed. It’s a full life. Throw in<br />
lunches and dinners, and I’m actually<br />
busy.<br />
Anyway, this is a new adventure.<br />
Monogamy . . . I’ll give it a whirl. ■<br />
SCOTT<br />
M c C A R T H Y<br />
GadaboutKeyWest@gmail.com