FREE Download - Jan Johnson

strangle you? and he would say, Whatever you want. I refuse to be ignored for the rest of my
life. I've had it. Don't try to fix this -- I don't want it fixed. I just want to be free.
Compulsive behaviors
When we don't feel good about ourselves, anything -- even a good thing -- becomes addictionlike
when used to prop up our flagging self-esteem. What begins as an innocent desire to look
decent in a swimming suit turns into an eating disorder. Having a few beers becomes the only
possible way to relax. Some may find themselves overspending, reading porn books or stealing
knick knacks from stores whenever they feel sad, bored or needing a reward.
Four-thirty p.m. was the best part of Rick's day. After answering newspaper ads, he could
finally plant himself in front of the television to watch those east coast basketball games. On
particularly depressing days, he went with a friend to a pizza place to watch the games on the big
screen.
Then the TV watching became a constant escape. He began watching movies late into the
night and then sleeping in the next day. He spent the money he did make occasionally on books
and videos instead of helping out the family. The chair in front of the television was the only
place he wanted to be and he stayed there. He knew he was using television to escape, but he
had no idea what to do about it. He wasn't surprised when his wife, Linda, confronted him:
"Sometimes I wonder if you're really looking for a job. It seems like all you ever do is watch
TV."
"I can't pay the bills," Rick told her. "I can't find a job. When I do get one, it's wrong. I
watch TV to help me forget it all."
"But you forget me and the kids and your responsibilities, even your health," Linda
challenged. "You won't even go to the doctor."
"It's an escape," Rick explained. "I know you're going to ask how the job hunt went. I know
I'll have nothing to report and my answer will sound shallow. I feel so bad that I can hardly face
you. It's easier to look at the television."
Rick's problem got worse before it got better. It took him a long time to see that his
dependency on television and reading was a signal that something inside was awry. Because of
the job search, he was in great pain, but he was also masking feelings of never being good
enough. Voices from his past were coming back to haunt him -- You don't try! You're lazy!
You always get into trouble! He had been told these things as a college student and had never
faced whether or not they were true.
Failure on the job
Sometimes when people lose a promotion or even their job, it's because their past feelings begin
leaking into their work life. Maybe they don't show up as they should. Or they outshine others
in achieving goals, except they lose their temper one time too many and with the wrong person.
They're let go, and they tell you they don't know how that place will ever get along without them.
Or perhaps they sigh in relief that they failed because success didn't feel right anyway.
Illness