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February 2013 - Austrian Club

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FEBRUARY <strong>2013</strong><br />

President:<br />

Heinz Pospech 021-7156672 082 773 8067 heinz@pouchdynamics.co.za<br />

Treasurer:<br />

Alois Kornmüller 021-6741701 083 303 6014 martyk@iafrica.com<br />

Secretary:<br />

Denise Acker 021-7611608 082 593 1362 dacker@mweb.co.za<br />

Senior Section:<br />

Juanita Schäfer 021-4485708 076 935 2145 mawensi@cybersmart.co.za<br />

Editor:<br />

Köbi Acker 021-7611608 072 749 1772 dacker@mweb.co.za<br />

Wandergruppe:<br />

Köbi Acker 021-7611608 072 749 1772 dacker@mweb.co.za<br />

Franz Gonglach 021-5591505 084 817 0135 franz@tlabs.ac.za<br />

Sepp Ratz 021-9191586 082 760 6169 ratzj@telkomsa.net<br />

Peter Perrin 021-8554342 084 923 1810 pelu@mweb.co.za<br />

Österreichische Botschaft Pretoria<br />

97 Justice Mahomed (former Charles) Street, Brooklyn, Pretoria<br />

P.O.Box 95572, Waterkloof 0145<br />

Tel.: 012.452.9155<br />

Fax: 012.460.1151<br />

Email: Pretoria-ob@bmeia.gv.at<br />

www.austrianembassy.co.za<br />

Parteienverkehr: Montag bis Donnerstag 9:00 – 12:00 Uhr<br />

Telefonische Auskünfte in Reisepass- und Staatsbürgerschaftsangelegen- heiten<br />

ausschließlich Montag bis Donnerstag 14:00 – 16:00 Uhr<br />

Die Webseite wird laufend aktualisiert und ein Großteil der notwendigen<br />

Formulare, Informationen (Staatsbürgerschaft, Reisepässe, etc.) sind darauf<br />

abrufbar.<br />

Tel No. for the Swiss/<strong>Austrian</strong> <strong>Club</strong>house is 021-434 8405<br />

e-mail catering@swissclub.co.za<br />

Martin's Cell: 079 710 5179<br />

********<br />

For queries, contributions etc. use the following e-mail:<br />

newsletter@austrianclubcapetown.co.za<br />

********<br />

or send to <strong>Austrian</strong> Social & Sports <strong>Club</strong>,<br />

P.O. Box 97, Paarden Eiland 7420


Österrreichisches Honorargeneralkonsulat<br />

Kapstadt<br />

Protea Hotel Sea Point<br />

Arthur's Road, Sea Point<br />

Tel.: 021 430 5133; Fax: 021 430 5333<br />

Email: austrianconsulcpt@gmail.com<br />

Parteienverkehr: Montag und Mittwoch von 9:00 bis 11:30 Uhr<br />

Bitte konsultieren Sie die Webseite der Österreichischen Botschaft in Pretoria für<br />

aktuelle Informationen und Formulare unter: www.austrianembassy.co.za<br />

Visa Information<br />

Österreich betreibt in Südafrika derzeit das größte Netz an Visaannahmestellen<br />

aller Schengen Mitglied Staaten. Antragsteller können wählen<br />

zwischen:<br />

den “<strong>Austrian</strong> Visa Application Centres” Durban, Johannesburg und<br />

Kapstadt: Office 504, 47 On Strand, Strand Street, Tel: 021.423.0233<br />

Öffnungszeiten Montag bis Freitag 8:00 - 12:30 und 13:30 - 15:00 Uhr.<br />

Terminvereinbarung:<br />

http://www.vfsglobal.com/austria/southafrica/index.html<br />

und der Österreichischen Botschaft Pretoria<br />

Annahme ausschließlich Montag UND Donnerstag 9:00 – 12:00 Uhr.<br />

Kein Termin nötig, first come, first serve.<br />

Telefonische Auskünfte der Botschaft in Visaangelegenheiten<br />

ausschließlich Montag bis Donnerstag 14:00 – 16:00 Uhr.<br />

AUSTRIAN CLUB WEBSITE: www.austrianclubcapetown.org


Editor's Comments<br />

The New Year has truly started now. According to all the "NEWS FLASHES"<br />

flashing around, about Concerts, a special Soccer Event and Ski-Races, the<br />

New Year seems to be becoming an interesting one. Some of these News -<br />

flashes are sometimes sent out at very short notice because we receive<br />

them from the Embassy or Consulate so late. I have a suggestion to make:<br />

When you read the Newsletter or any other message, please have paper<br />

and pen handy and DIARIZE immediately what is of interest to you, that<br />

will save you a lot of time later on looking it up again or phoning around.<br />

I would like to say thank you very much to everybody who contributed<br />

prizes towards the Tombola in Jonkershoek and also to everybody else who<br />

contributed to the smooth running of the event.<br />

The profit of the Tombola for the club was R 2330.-<br />

We have a new Member<br />

NORBERT JETZER came from Jo'burg and retired in Somerset West.<br />

Some of you may have met him already in Betty's Bay or Jonkershoek.<br />

This announcement should have been in the December issue, but at the<br />

end of the year a lot of things are going upside down, sorry. I think,<br />

Norbert will bolster the ever dwindling group of Enziane.<br />

We wish him many happy hours in the A-<strong>Club</strong>.<br />

I would like to reiterate the fact that we again and again find important e-<br />

mails in the junk-mail section. I check up daily.<br />

The Swiss are organizing on the 10. <strong>February</strong> a "Waldfest" in Jonkershoek.<br />

There is a Bring and Braai, there will be Games , Drought Beer, the<br />

Hausmusik will play, etc. etc. etc. I congratulate our Swiss friends on<br />

keeping alive the old tradition from back home. Yes, I will attend.<br />

On the next page you see our President pleading for helpers for the<br />

various <strong>Austrian</strong> stalls at the Community Chest Carnival which is from:<br />

Wednesday 27. <strong>February</strong> to Saturday 2. March<br />

It is not only work, to help at one of the stalls, it is also fun. To put your<br />

name on the roster contact either:<br />

Denise Duitsman 082 457 4973 or denised@mweb.co.za<br />

Beate Pospech 082 551 8049 or beate@autosolsouthafrica.co.za


Dear Members<br />

Community Chest Carnival <strong>2013</strong><br />

It is that time of the year again that we call on you to give us a few<br />

hours of your time by helping at the <strong>Austrian</strong> stall at the annual<br />

Community Chest Carnival.<br />

May I take this opportunity to remind you all, that all the funds raised<br />

will be donated to charity and the club will once again host the<br />

AUSTRIAN BEERGARDEN and its famous food stalls.<br />

We need helpers to man the BAR, Wurstlstand, Schnitzelbude and the<br />

Apfelstrudel & Coffee stand (Cafe’ Vienna) We urge you to invite your<br />

friends to join you and the more helpers we have the more fun it will be.<br />

Remember we will give you a free meal and entrance ticket!<br />

We kindly ask that you contact either<br />

Denise Duitsman on 082 457 4973 ( denised@mweb.co.za )<br />

or<br />

Beate Pospech on 082 551 8049 ( beate@autosolsouthafrica.co.za )<br />

The Carnival will run from the 27<strong>February</strong>’13 – 2 March’13<br />

Everyone is welcome to help so bring your friends along.<br />

Kind regards,Heinz Pospech<br />

President


COMMUNITY<br />

CHEST<br />

CARNIVAL<br />

WYNBERG<br />

LAST YEAR


FUNCTIONS<br />

1. Zürich Chamber Orchestra<br />

10. " Waldfescht" Jonkershoek (Swiss)<br />

12. Senioren Treffen<br />

14. Valentine Dinner and Pub Night<br />

17. Gipfelstürmer Hike<br />

22. Business Lunch /Pub Night<br />

24. Enzian Hike<br />

27. - 2. March Community Chest Carnival<br />

Senioren Treffen<br />

Wie immer am 2. Dienstag im Monat im Rosengarten<br />

in Durbanville<br />

Dienstag 12. Februar <strong>2013</strong><br />

13.30 Uhr - 15.30 Uhr<br />

Wir spielen Bingo<br />

Es gibt Kaffee, Kuchen und Gemütlichkeit<br />

Anfragen: Juanita Schäfer 021-4485708 cell 076 935 2145<br />

Jonkershoek 2. December 2012<br />

Profit for the club from the TOMBOLA:<br />

R 2330.-


Rückschau: Jonkershoek 2. Dez. 2012<br />

von Trude Klambauer<br />

Als wir gegen Mittag in Jonkershoek bei strahlend schönem Wetter eintrafen,<br />

waren wir erstaunt, wie viele <strong>Club</strong>-Mitglieder sich bereits häuslich niedergelassen<br />

und Tische und Stühle für die zu erwartenden Wanderer reserviert<br />

hatten. Köbi war mit der Tombola beschäftigt und hoffte , alle Preise los zu<br />

werden.Doch plötzlich war viel Bewegung auf dem Gelände. Die Wanderer<br />

trafen ein. Sie erzählten begeistert von der Runde durch den Botanik, begrüssten<br />

alle, die sich noch nicht gesehen hatten und machten sich auf die Suche nach<br />

ihren Plätzen auf der Terasse oder unter den Bäumen . Auch andere Familien<br />

und Freunde kamen, um mit uns allen die letzte Zusammenkunft in diesem Jahr<br />

zu zelebrieren. Bald danach durften wir unser vom <strong>Club</strong> spendiertes Fleisch<br />

grillen und essen.<br />

Selbstverständlich war das Verkaufen der Lose für die Tombola wieder<br />

mit viel Aufregung, Freude und Gelächter einher gegangen. Doch wiederum<br />

blieben einige Preise zurück. Nun gut, dann ist das eben ein Anfang für das<br />

nächste Jahr.<br />

Jonkershoek 2. Dezember2012<br />

Bild: Trude Klambauer


DEUKOM<br />

DEUKOM<br />

hat uns<br />

hat uns<br />

ein Jahr<br />

ein Jahr<br />

FREIES<br />

FREIES<br />

Fernsehen Fernsehen gegeben.<br />

gegeben<br />

----------------------------<br />

----------------------------<br />

Ein gutes<br />

Ein gutes deutsches<br />

deutsches<br />

DANKE SCHÖN !!!<br />

DANKE SCHÖN !!!<br />

Das Feuer ist bald fertig.<br />

Bild: Köbi


Jonkershoek 2. Dezember 2012 A "Happy Trudi" Bild: Köbi


Wanderprogramm<br />

Gipfelstürmer<br />

In <strong>February</strong> we will have a not too<br />

strenuous<br />

hike in the Vlakkenberg area.<br />

Sunday 17. Febr. <strong>2013</strong>.<br />

We meet at Constantia Nek at:<br />

9.00 AM<br />

Köbi: 021-7611601 072 749 1772<br />

................................................................................................................................................................................<br />

Enziane<br />

The Enziane will have a ramble in the<br />

Tygerberg area and afterwards there<br />

is a Bring and Braai at Ratz's place.<br />

Sunday 24. Febr. (4th Sunday)<br />

We meet at Mc Donalds in<br />

Durbanville at:<br />

9.30 AM<br />

Sepp: 021-9191586 082 760 6169<br />

A Reminder !!!<br />

This hike is on the 4th Sunday -------- 24. <strong>February</strong>


TOKAI PLANTATION-MOUNTAINBIKING<br />

Rules of the Trail<br />

Permits must be kept available at all times whilst utilizing the trail.<br />

Bikers will only be allowed on existing trails as indicated on the<br />

map and will not be allowed to utilize ecologically sensitive areas,<br />

footpaths or any other area.<br />

Do not take short cut at bends or zig - zags.<br />

Smoking and the making of fires is prohibited, except at<br />

designated facilities.<br />

Littering is not allowed.<br />

Pets or other animals are not allowed on the trails.<br />

All fauna, flora and other elements of nature are protected -<br />

please do not remove, damage or disturb.<br />

It is illegal to interfere with infrastructure along the trails, e.g.<br />

weather stations, stream flow monitoring equipment, sign boards,<br />

directional arrows etc.<br />

Night Riding<br />

Night rides are allowed at the Upper Tokai plantation (not in the<br />

Silvermine section) on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays as per<br />

the code below:<br />

Night Riding Code of Conduct<br />

1. Be in possession of a valid permit.<br />

2. Sign the register upon entering the gate.<br />

3. Minimum 3 riders per group.<br />

4. Minimum 2 cell phones per group.<br />

5. Each rider have own light & helmet.<br />

6. Post ride: Sign the register upon exiting the gate.<br />

7. No entry after 20.00<br />

8. All riders to vacate Plantation before 22.00<br />

9. Parking in Arboretum area at own risk.<br />

10. Cyclists may not enter Silvermine<br />

Day Permit Rides 07: 00-18: 00 October - March Exit at 20:30<br />

08:00 - 17:00 April - September Exit at 18:00<br />

TMNP 021-7122337 e-mail: tablemountain@sanparks.org<br />

website: www.tmnp.co.za


Drink Pause<br />

Having fun on the run


Letzte Wanderung im Jahr in Stellenbosch<br />

2. Dezember 2012 Photos: Peter Perrin<br />

...................................................................................................................................................................................<br />

SPONSOR A CHAIR<br />

New Chair with cowhide seat and a plaque<br />

with your own choice of name - R750<br />

Refurbishment of an old chair<br />

- R250<br />

All the work is done free of charge and is meant to<br />

be a fundraiser for the joint clubs.<br />

Contact: Ernst Tobler 021 531 5779, 083 508 7906<br />

.......................................................................................................................


www.techienews.co.za <strong>February</strong> <strong>2013</strong><br />

Dear Members and friends!<br />

Welcome to one and all in <strong>2013</strong>. Glad you made it past the 21 st December 2012,<br />

the day the world was meant to end. Gosh, and some folk actually believed this<br />

nonsense. Goes to show how vulnerable some people out there are.<br />

So, here we are again, new year, new article heading, same topic – techie stuff –<br />

you know, the stuff that makes the world go ‘round. Let’s see what the specialists<br />

will grace us with this year. You can be sure that many new items will be offered<br />

once again, from cameras to TV’s, computers, laptops, notebooks, ultra-books,<br />

smart phones and the new ‘animals’ on the block, the phablets, the abbreviation<br />

for a combination of a phone and tablet such as e.g. the Samsung Galaxy Note II,<br />

a masterpiece of technology. It’s a gadget that just about does anything, short of<br />

making coffee for you, and you can probably do that too with it, I just haven’t<br />

learnt how as yet ☺.<br />

You can of course also combine other gadgets with each other such as the dude<br />

in the picture below did. By the way, this is not a mock-up This guy got pulled<br />

over by a traffic officer who took the pic and published it.<br />

One other interesting stat that I read over Xmas was that<br />

YouTube is the third biggest TV channel in the UK? I must<br />

confess that I watch a fair number of videos on that<br />

channel as well as some of the clips are truly hilarious<br />

and highly entertaining.<br />

At the time of writing this article, one of the most important<br />

computer fairs just ended in Las Vegas, Nevada, the<br />

CES, short for Consumer Electronics Show, a spectacle<br />

run for 4 days where just about every company of note<br />

exhibits and showcases their newbies – in other words, a<br />

techie’s dream show, subject to having a wad of high<br />

value currency in your back pocket !!!<br />

One interesting, although not so new idea anymore, but becoming more and more<br />

affordable, is Corning’s bendable glass called Willow Glass which shall be used in<br />

the future for phones and other displays. Corning is also well known for its Gorilla<br />

Glass which is used extensively these days by the likes of Apple, Samsung etc.<br />

for near scratchproof cell phone displays on the iPhones and Galaxy’s. The<br />

Willow Glass is as thin as a business card (about 0.1 mm) and can be curved into<br />

a serious arc without breaking. Displays can literally be ‘wrapped around corners.<br />

The first commercial products are expected to enter the markets in 2014.


Another innovation addresses the fairer sex out there with long fingernails who<br />

will soon be able to turn their fashion statement into a functional touch-screen<br />

stylus.In the world of printers a lot has happened as well such as units to print out<br />

pictures from your smart phone using Zink technology and NFC communication.<br />

“Now what is that NFC all about again?” I hear you say. Well, NFC stands for<br />

Near Field Communication and is a new short range wireless technology which<br />

has been introduced into the mobile phone market. It’s basically an alternative to<br />

Bluetooth, difference being that the phone has to either touch or be within<br />

centimetres of the other electronic device so that info can be transferred. So,<br />

where would you use it? a) You can tap your phone and Bluetooth headset<br />

together and link them instantly b) You can tap you phone on to a hotspot on an<br />

advertisement and get a phone number of even be directed to the advertiser’s<br />

website immediately<br />

c) You can exchange business cards with another phone without typing<br />

everything<br />

d) You can ultimately make payments with your phone – enter the amount you<br />

need to pay, then tap the electronic device in the restaurant and presto, your<br />

Penne Arrabiata is paid for, voila – how cool is that?<br />

Then you now get 3D printers that can no doubt come in very handy in business<br />

and marketing, but I would imagine the ink to still cost a fortune, so you better<br />

make some money with what you have printed out, otherwise it really is money<br />

down the drain.The watch lovers amongst you will enjoy the fact that a new smart<br />

watch has been developed by Martian. Users can view text, emails, tweets and<br />

make phone calls with it. It’s called the Passport – what next! Imagine though how<br />

environmentally challenged you look if you are seen talking into a watch, then<br />

holding it up to your ear to listen to the other party – you’ll look as dumb as Mr.<br />

Bean. All you still need is a teddy bear in your other hand – aikona, hakuna ma<br />

tata.<br />

In the world of camcorders, JVC and Kenwood have joined forces and launched<br />

their Everio range of cameras, some really high-end units to suit everyone’s<br />

needs, right up to their top model, the GZ-VX815 which is worth googling for its<br />

specifications. So, as can be seen, lots and lots to look forward to this year – we<br />

await with gaping months, big eyes and open wallets !<br />

And to end my contribution for the month, let me share some advice with the<br />

aspiring youngsters out there who have just matriculated or completed their<br />

university studies and are now ready to enter the complex world of business:<br />

“To succeed in business you don't need the brains of Einstein, the muscles of<br />

Hercules, or the reflexes of Michael Schumacher. You just need to know what to<br />

do next.” If you know that, you’re already half way there.With that I bid you all<br />

farewell for yet another month, and as ever, stay focused, stay sharp, look after<br />

yourselves and your loved ones,<br />

Mike Hartmann – Techie<br />

The Swiss & <strong>Austrian</strong> Social <strong>Club</strong> – Your <strong>Club</strong>


Unser herzlichstes Beileid an seine<br />

Frau Lily und Tochter Eva.<br />

Waldemar kam aus Wien. Er war<br />

ein langjähriges Mitglied von<br />

unserem Klub<br />

In früheren Jahren war Waldemar<br />

ein aktives Mitglied unserer<br />

Wandergruppe.<br />

Er war auch ein Geschäftsmann.<br />

Wir vermissen seine exclusiven<br />

Leder-Kreationen.<br />

Waldemar hat in der Apartheits-Zeit<br />

als evangelischer "Lay-Preacher"<br />

die politischen Gefangenen im<br />

Robben Eiland Gefängnis besucht,<br />

um ihnenTrost und Hoffnung zu<br />

bringen.<br />

Ruhe in Frieden<br />

Polishes & Protects<br />

33 Lakeshore Drive<br />

Capricorn Business Park<br />

- Cars Muizenberg. 7945<br />

- Motorbikes<br />

- Boats P.O. Box 223<br />

- Plastic Plumstead, 7801<br />

- Metal<br />

- Jewellery Tel/Fax: 021 709 0379<br />

- Leather Beate Pospech Cell: 082 551 8049<br />

- Food Equipment E-Mail: beate@techno-autosol.co.za


ALLERLEI im ALLTAG<br />

Yes, I'm a Senior Citizen!!!<br />

I'm the life of the party.........even if it lasts until 8 p.m.<br />

I'm very good at opening childproof caps ...........with a hammer!<br />

I'm awake hours before my body allows me to get up.<br />

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.<br />

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.<br />

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.<br />

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.<br />

Yes, I'm a Senior Citicen and think I am having the time of my life.<br />

Alt ist man, wenn man auf immer mehr Ersatzteile zurück greifen<br />

muss, aber man wird dadurch auch von Jahr zu Jahr wertvoller: nicht<br />

nur das Edelmetall in den Zähnen, auch ein Platin-Hüftgelenk sind<br />

teure investitionen.<br />

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being<br />

discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly<br />

gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet,<br />

who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.<br />

After a chat about rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.<br />

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know", he<br />

said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."<br />

An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home one evening.<br />

She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with<br />

endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.<br />

The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly, they were still very much in<br />

love. While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess<br />

to say,"I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call your husband all those<br />

loving names". The elderly lady hung her head."I have to tell you the truth," she said, his<br />

name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old<br />

bastard what his name is."


From the Horses mouth<br />

Sunday Times 13. January <strong>2013</strong><br />

An interesting article from Matthew Lester.<br />

Lester is a professor at Rhodes University<br />

Taxpayers plan to retire in poverty<br />

How many South Africans will be able to afford to retire? Here are some<br />

numbers based on the recently released SA Revenue Service statistics for 2012.<br />

There are 13 million registered taxpayers in South Africa. Roughly half of that<br />

number are unemployed or economically inactive. Some 4.5 million people<br />

have submitted their tax return for 2011 so far. The bulk of the remainder fall<br />

below the tax threshold, which is roughly R 5 000 a month. So, about one in 11<br />

of South<br />

Africa's total population of 52 million is a taxpayer, and there are five times as<br />

many unemployed people as there are taxpayers. Of the 4.5 million taxpayers,<br />

only 1.9 million claimed deductions for pension fund contributions -<br />

totalling R 24 billion - and 1.2 million claimed deductions for retirement annuity<br />

fund contributions,which totalled R 12 billion. Put simply,the bad news is<br />

that only three million South Africans are planning for retirement - about half of<br />

those who file tax returns, or one in 10, compared with the number of people<br />

who are unemployed. To compound this fewer than one in 100 taxpayers -<br />

a mere 440 000 people - earn more than R 400 000 a year. Of the 440 000,<br />

a healthy 352 000 are contributing to pension funds and 155 000 to retirement<br />

annuities. They truly have an incentive, because their marginal tax rates exceed<br />

35%. But even with these contributions - and their tax deductions - many of<br />

those earning more than R 400 000 a year are substantially underfunded for<br />

retirement. The number of South Africans who can afford to retire<br />

comfortably<br />

is statistically insignificant. And the state cannot afford to do much about it,<br />

especially if National Health Insurance Implementation is a priority.<br />

So I hope you handed out family savings plans instead of cellphones this Christ -<br />

mas - and made a New Year's resolution to work until you're 70 and then spend<br />

the children's inheritance while waiting for god.<br />

For more, go to www.criticalthought.co.za


Liebe nur, wenn deine Liebe<br />

erwiedert wird, sonst hat es keinen<br />

Sinn.<br />

Was du liebst, lass es frei. Kommt es<br />

zurück, gehört es dir f ür immer.<br />

(Konfuzius)<br />

14. FEBRUARY<br />

.......................................................................................................................<br />

Regenfall in Plumstead in 2012<br />

Im Jahr 2012 hatten wir 778 mm<br />

" 2011 " 384 mm<br />

" 2010 " 511 mm<br />

" 2009 " 722 mm<br />

Durchschnittlicher jährlicher Regenfall für Plumstead is 500 mm.<br />

Letztes Jahr war gut, die Zahl 384 von 2011 wollen wir nicht wieder sehen.<br />

.......................................................................................................................<br />

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you<br />

didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away<br />

from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.<br />

Dream. Discover.<br />

Mark Twain<br />

We could learn a lot from Crayons: Some are sharp, some are pretty, some<br />

are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours......but they all<br />

exist very nicely in the same box.<br />

Tough times never last, tough people do.<br />

Dem Wagemutigen hilft das Glück, der Faule steht sich selbst im Wege.<br />

Die Erfahrung ist wie eine Laterne im Rücken: sie beleuchtet stets nur das<br />

Stück Weg, das wir bereits hinter uns haben.


HUMOR<br />

HUMOR !! && @@ %% > ** ++<br />

Beamtenhumor<br />

Beamtenhumor (gibt es das?)<br />

Die Strafabteilung der Bezirkshauptmannschaft Amstetten erhielt<br />

folgendes Gedicht von einem Verkehrssünder.<br />

Mit Interesse hab ich Ihr Schreiben gelesen und streite nicht ab, ich bin es<br />

gewesen. Wie es kam liebe Leut, ich sag es Euch genau, in Kamaten war<br />

ich bei einer reizenden Frau. Und hab dann, sonst hätt ich etwas<br />

versäumt, von diesen schönen Tagen ein wenig geträumt. Auf einmal<br />

ging's bergab, ich war ganz verwundert, wurde immer schneller und am<br />

Tacho stand "Hundert". Und plötzlich glaub ich, es klingt wie ein Witz. Es<br />

kommt ein Gewitter, denn da sah ich ein Blitz. Nach Ihrem Schreiben ist's<br />

mir nun klar, dass es das nicht, sondern Eure Kontrolle war. Auf die Strafe<br />

dafür warte ich nun geduldig. Mit einem Wort, ich bekenne mich schuldig.<br />

21 Std.kilometer zu schnell, leicht zu berechnen, ich sehe es ein, es war<br />

ein Verbrechen. Bitte trotzdem um Freispruch, ich sag's ganz banal,<br />

ein Mann der glücklich ist, fährt nicht normal.<br />

Antwort in Poesie des Sachbearbeiter im Strafbescheid von Amstetten<br />

Ist der Reim auch so gelungen, zum Bussgeld seh ich mich gezwungen.<br />

Kommen's wieder mal von dieser Frau, nehmen's den Zug, seien Sie so<br />

schlau.<br />

Sex is now classified as a misdemeaner.........<br />

The more you miss, the meaner ya get!<br />

*<br />

Nie aber nie während des Fahrens trinken,<br />

Du könntest das Bier verschütten!<br />

*<br />

Teacher: Why are you late?<br />

Jonny:<br />

Class started before I got here.<br />

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?<br />

Simon: No, Sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


Teacher: " Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"<br />

Glenn: "K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L-"<br />

Teacher: No, that' s wrong.<br />

Glenn: "Maybe it is wrong ,but you asked me how I spell it".<br />

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when<br />

people are no longer interested?<br />

Harold: A Teacher<br />

The South African Government is going to impose a 40% tax on ASPIRIN.<br />

Why do you ask?<br />

Well, primarily because it's white and it works.<br />

LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER<br />

* Memory was something that you lost with age<br />

* An application was for employment<br />

* A program was a TV show<br />

* A curser used profanity<br />

* A keyboard was a piano<br />

* A web was a spider's home<br />

* A virus was the flu<br />

* A CD was a bank account<br />

* A hard drive was a long trip on the road<br />

* A mouse pad was where a mouse lived<br />

* And if you had a 3½ inch floppy<br />

....you just hoped nobody found out<br />

Every wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.<br />

"Miss" for one hour and "stress" for the rest 23 hours.<br />

Regter: "Waar is jy gebore?"<br />

Gatiep: " Djou Honour, ek is gebore innie Kaap!"<br />

Regter: "Watter deel?"<br />

Gatief: "My hele lyf is daar gebore, djou Honour, net die tanne is van Jo'burg<br />

af!"<br />

Gatiep and Maraai steel'n snoek, en sien toe 'n Polisie man.<br />

Gatiep se: "Sit die snoek onder djou rok!"<br />

Maraai se: " Dit gaan stink Gatiep!"<br />

Gatiep se vir Maraai: "Drukkie snoek se nies toe!"


Dear!<br />

"Optimist, Pessimist and Realist.<br />

While you guys were busy arguing whether the glass of water is<br />

½ full or ½ empty: "I drank it!<br />

Sincerely<br />

the Opportunist<br />

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding<br />

in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and<br />

then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have<br />

you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then<br />

why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord !<br />

He's done it again!'<br />

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good<br />

ending: and have the two as close together as possible.<br />

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read<br />

in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best<br />

friend, Finny. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. They say I died!"<br />

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. Where are ye calling from?"


Albert,<br />

the doctor says<br />

I need more exercise,<br />

I want you<br />

to start jogging<br />

for me<br />

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E-mail: buchhandlung@naumann.co.za

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