Mutual Fidelity

mutual
fidelity
first
© INERELA 2012
first edition

Session Objectives
Session Overview
Key Message
Present mutual fidelity as a SAFE sexual practice
Discussions
You have sex with every single person with whom your partner has
sex
Expected Learning Outcomes Understanding that each person has a sexual history
Having one partner – whose status is known – is important in
preventing HIV transmission
Serial monogamy is not mutual fidelity
Toolkit References
Time
Materials needed:
Mutual
fidelity
VCT
Condoms
© INERELA 2012
30 minutes
Flipchart and markers
2

Activity:
Insert a play on mutual fidelity – something funny but giving the message
that monogamy is good for people not just because it prevents
HIV transmission but because it provides a good environment for a
couple to grow. Furthermore, the message needs to be conveyed that
you have sex with every other partner with whom your partner has
had sex – so get tested before each new sexual relationship.
Facilitator’s notes:
• zDo not be prescriptive about sex before marriage. Most teenagers have
had some type of sexual experience ranging from foreplay to penetrative
sex. The message that you want to convey is that sex in a positive,
mutually respectful and monogamous relationship is sexually healthy
and responsible. You also want to encourage people to voluntarally have
their HIV status tested as they enter new sexual relationships.
• zWithin some cultural groups polygamy is a culturally acceptable form
of sexual expression. It could, in this context, be appropriate to discuss
some of the ways polygamous relationships can be conducted safely.
• zDiscuss parallel relationships if appropriate. This would involve, for
example, migrant workers who have partners at home and partners in
their places of work. Many people see these relationships as being safe
and exclusive.
© INERELA 2012
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Level 1: Preventing transmission:
Discussion:
a) Why is it hard to have only one partner?
b) Question: real men have many sexual experiences, real women wait
until they are married. How does this impact on sexual relationships?
Facilitator’s Notes:
This module relies on 100% truthfulness and trust between each partner.
Mutual fidelity means that there are only two people in the relationship
and neither are having sexual relations outside of this relationship. Both
people should be tested for STIs and HIV so as if they are engaging in unprotected
sex they know their status and they are not putting their partner
at risk. Most people will have a sexual past. Testing for STIs and HIV is to
insure that the past does not interfere medically with the current relationship.
The time span of the relationship is important; a person can be termed a ‘serial monogamist’.
This means they are in a relationship for a short period of time, during
this time they are faithful, however the relationship does not last long and then they
move on to the next person. Once again testing for STIs and HIV with each person is
important.
For people in a long term monogamous relationship the key is communication. Making
sure you are on the right path and that you are both happy within the relationship.
You have to communicate your feelings rather than seeking comfort in the arms
of someone else.
© INERELA 2012
Doubts of fidelity:
• zIs someone cheating?
• zSeparation
• zTravel expectations
• zMigrant labour
• zLoneliness of being left at home
4

Discussion:
Divide participants into small groups. You may want to further separate
these groups by age and gender.
Talk about ways in which you can talk to your partner about your sex life.
Are they happy with it; are there ways in which they want to change it?
What services are there to support people in long-term relationships?
Level 2: Supporting people living with
HIV:
People can have a very long and fulfilling relationship when one person or both are
HIV positive, the dynamics are the same.
(Having a good relationship with a family doctor is important).
Facilitator’s Notes:
• zPolygamous relationships where one or multiple people have HIV can
also be safe and healthy. However, because there are many sexual partners
in a polygamous relationship, if one person within this relationship
is HIV positive the rest will be vulnerable to HIV transmission.
Furthermore, the person who is HIV positive is made more vulnerable
of reinfection with HIV due to the ability of the virus to mutate rapidly.
Thus SAFER sexual practice should form part of this relationship. It
would be recommended that all the people involved in the polygamous
relationship knew their status and that SAFER sexual practices were
consistent across the whole group.
• zMultiple concurrent partnerships carry a high risk of HIV transmission.
In new sexual relationships, sexual boundaries are often not made clear
at the start. Thus SAFER sexual practice could be adopted in one relationship
but not in another. Unfortunately, this leads to the increased
risk of transmission.
• zSerial monogomy also increases the vulnerability to HIV transmission.
Once again, sexual boundaries can be fluid at the start and end of relationships.
Furthermore, partners may be exclusive for a number of
years before they break-up and develop new relationships. During this
long exclusivity they may have engaged in sexual practices that were
not SAFE. Ensure that before you enter a new relationship you know
your status and that your sexual boundaries include SAFER sexual
practices throughout the relationship.
© INERELA 2012
5

Reflection and Notes
© INERELA 2012
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Reflection and Notes
© INERELA 2012
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SAVE
© INERELA 2012
TOOLKIT
A Practical Guide to the SAVE Prevention Methodology