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2 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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www.q-notes.com Volume 24 Number 15 November 28, 2009

PO Box 221841 • Charlotte, NC 28222 • 704.531.9988 . 704.531.1361 FAX

To find a copy, go to www.q-notes.com/distribution-points/

Publisher: Jim Yarbrough

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space deadlines

issue: 12-12 deadline: 12-02

issue: 12-26 deadline: 12-16

issue: 01-09 deadline: 12-30

issue: 01-23 deadline: 01-13


Q&A: Charlotte’s new mayor-elect 01


AIDS Quilt comes to WNC 11

Boseman bows out for re-election bid 11

Charlotte area HIV/AIDS resources 12

Gay papers shut down 06

Life with HIV 13

Local philanthropy support LGBT orgs 10

Nesbitt friend to community 05

Remembrance 27


Drag Rag 27

Editor’s Note 04

General Gayety 22

News Notes: Carolinas 08

News Notes: Domestic 07

Out and About 26

Out in the Stars 25

Q-Poll 04

Tell Trinity 24


Hi-tech holidays 19

Seasons’s Readings! Gift ideas 22

Style: not just for fashion anymore 17

The 3G wars 18

There’s an app for that 19

Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift Giving 16

Front & QLiving Covers:

Anthony Foxx is interviewed by local

media on Election Day 2009.

Photo: Henk Jonker. henkjonkerphoto.com.

Ultimate Gift Guide illustrations

by Todd Austin (ReTodd), via Flickr.

Licensed under Creative Commons.

Design by Matt Comer & Lainey Millen.

Editorial Contributors:

ARAcontent, Matt Comer, Kevin

Grooms/Miss Della, Charlene Lichtenstein,

Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson, Mickey

Rox, David Stout, Terri Schlichenmeyer,


IN OUR NEXT ISSUE: Holiday Issue / Faith in the Community

To advertise, call 704.531.9988 or email adsales@q-notes.com.

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 3

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Editor’s Note

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

Hot guys, lesbians

and football

Sports. Not really my thing. I don’t understand

any of the games or their rules. I don’t

know what shot or throw equals how many

points. I’m lost when it comes to “first down”

or “third down,” although I do know a touchdown

is a good thing. A basketball sailing

through the net hanging from the hoop —

that’s a good thing. A soccer ball flying past

the goalie — congrats to the successful kicker.

In short, I’ve just never been really

“sporty.” People get so crazy and passionate

over their favorite teams. Not me. When others

dress up in their elaborate head gear, make up

silly chants and go bonkers when their guys

and gals win that elusive championship, I’m

usually stuck in front of a computer, watching

MSNBC or CNN. A championship victory is to

a sports fan what a successful election bid is

to me.

Despite my general lack of understanding

of sports, all this athletic madness is just one

of the many reasons why I enjoy being a

native Tar Heel. I’ve grown up around it all

and have heard my entire life of the trials and

tribulations of Duke, N.C. State, Wake Forest

and UNC — not forgetting, of course, the proteams

we’ve had, too.

So, it was with excitement that I headed to

my first-ever Carolina Panthers game a few

weeks ago. Despite living in Charlotte for two

years so far, I’d never had the opportunity to

make the trek to Bank of America Stadium.

Now that I’ve gone at least once, I’m happy I did.

The Thursday night game against the

Dolphins was packed. As I walked up


Stonewall St. and past The Charlotte

Observer building, I started downhill

toward the stadium. Thousands upon

thousands of people were making their

way to the stadium at the same time. I

knew the Panthers were big, but I’d

never expected they were this big. It’s

just one of those things you kind of have to

see for yourself.

I could feel the excitement in the air as

people hurriedly scuttled through security

and had their tickets scanned for entry. After I

climbed what seemed like a million stairs, I

got to my seat just in time for the national

anthem. Even with what had to be 65,000 or

more folks crammed into the stadium, you

could hear a pin drop as the crowd fell reverently


Because I wasn’t really invested in the

game, my attention throughout the evening

was easily distracted and refocused on the

people around me. It was interesting seeing so

many different folks crammed in together. I

easily spotted out the guys whom I thought

were obviously gay and the butch-lesbian couples

decked out in their sports wear. Every

once-in-a-while, my eyes would glance over to

a “straight acting dude” who was nothing

more than a ’mo in disguise.

It is unfortunate that our American sports

culture doesn’t reflect the diversity of its own

fan bases, becoming so super-masculinized

and homophobic when it is so clear that

sporting and athletic competition is such an

“every man” experience. The thousands gathered

for the Panthers game were all there

because of some interest in the game or the

aura of the exerience. Their race or ethnicity,

shape or size, gender or sexual orientation was

of no consequence to those around them. And,

I thought to myself,“Wouldn’t it be nice if all

society were like this all the time?”◗

❛speakout ❜

Send your letter to the editor or any

other thoughts to

editor@q-notes.com or click on over to

our website at www.q-notes.com and

join the conversation there.

Web comments will be featured in each

issue. Limit letters to the editor to 150

words or less and include

your name, city and state and a phone

number where you can be reached.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

How much do you

anticipate spending on

holiday shopping this year

as compared to last?

See the options and vote at


4 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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New Senate leader is friend to community

Sen. Martin Nesbitt replaces

longtime Majority Leader

Tony Rand

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

RALEIGH — The North Carolina Senate

elected a new majority leader on Nov. 17. Sen.

Martin Nesbitt, Jr. (D-Buncombe), who has

been friendly on LGBT and other progressive

issues in the past, will replace outgoing

Majority Leader Tony Rand (D-Bladen,


Although Senate President Pro Tempore

Marc Basnight has not tapped the new leader

as chair of the powerful Rules Committee,

Nesbitt will nonetheless have plenty of influence

over the chamber’s legislation. As majority

leader he will help to decide which legislation

is heard and which members oversee it.

Nesbitt’s election represents a shift in the

Senate’s traditionally Eastern North Carolinaheld

power structure.

The decentralization of power, however

beneficial for the legislative process, could have

an effect on pro- and anti-LGBT legislation.

“We are definitely monitoring to see who

gets appointed to the other key positions [held

by Rand] like Rules chair, which have a big

impact on which bills come to the floor —

both positive and negative,” said Ian

Palmquist, executive director of Equality

North Carolina (ENC).“There’s lots of rumors

about who that will be and some of them are

good and some of them are bad and all of

them are unsubstantiated.”

Nesbitt has “been a good ally” to the

LGBT community, Palmquist said. This year,

he favored two pieces of legislation supported

by ENC. Nesbitt was a co-sponsor of the

Healthy Youth Act, which will mandate more

comprehensive sex education in schools, and

voted to approve the landmark School

Violence Prevention Act requiring all public

schools to adopt stringent, LGBT-inclusive

anti-bullying policies.

Nesbitt was also a co-sponsor of a bill to

prevent racial profiling in traffic law enforcement

and the North Carolina Racial Justice

Act, which set up protections to guard against

racial bias discrimination in judicial decisions

imposing the death penalty.

In 2007, Nesbitt co-sponsored a bill that

would have banned discrimination on the basis

of sexual orientation in state employment.

Chad Nesbitt, the senator’s stepson and founder

of the conservative website

CarolinaStompers.com, wrote about the bill

and said North Carolina LGBT advocacy groups

were looking to “push [their] sex life on others.”

Of his stepfather, Chad Nesbitt wrote,

“That means Martin Nesbitt is sponsoring a

bill that would allow transsexuals or transvestites

to teach his grandchildren and your

children in drag in the public school classrooms.

Teachers are state employees and in

an area where disturbing homosexual castrations

and the gay lifestyle is on the rise,

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this will happen if this bill is passed and

there is nothing you or their employer can

do about it.”

Looking toward 2010

Nesbitt’s election has sparked discussion on

the future of the state’s Senate and House leadership

and control. Given the economic downturn

and general disapproval from voters, next

year’s midterm elections are widely expected to

be difficult for incumbents and

controlling parties at all levels

of government.

“Certainly the Democratic

leadership is taking very seriously

the possibility of losing

seats and possibly losing the

majority,” said Palmquist.

“They are working hard to

recruit candidates where they

need to and make sure candidates

are raising money in the

districts in order to fend off

the opposition.”

Palmquist warns that a

switch in party leadership

could result in tragedy for

LGBT equality in North


“Given the leadership of the

Republican Party, with Paul Stam and Phil

Berger, if either chamber were to switch it is

very likely that we would see negative legislation

move, including the marriage discrimination

constitutional amendment, potentially negative

legislation on adoption and probably a repeal of

the enumerated categories in the [School

Violence Prevention Act],” Palmquist said.

Officially non-partisan, Equality North

Carolina seeks to work with all legislators

regardless of party affiliation.“My concern is

really about the leadership that would be

elected, rather than about any specific, individual

legislator,” Palmquist said.

North Carolina’s new Senate majority leader, state Sen.

Martin Nesbitt, Jr., is friendly on LGBT issues.

Photo Credit: Courtesy ashe_villain, via Flickr.

Licensed under Creative Commons.

Significant action is not expected on LGBTrelated

legislation in 2010’s legislative short

session, although past short session’s have seen

Republican-backed attempts to move on the

anti-LGBT marriage amendment.◗

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NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 5

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Gay papers, mags shut down

in D.C., Atlanta, Florida

Washington Blade, Southern Voice,

others cease operation as parent

company files for bankruptcy

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

Publisher Lynne Brown and other former

staffers are moving full steam ahead with a

new incarnation of a D.C-based LGBT news

organization. The first, modest issue of The

D.C. Agenda was distributed on Nov. 20. They

6 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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When staff at the Southern Voice came to

work on Nov. 16, they expected to begin

another work week, unlike any of the others

before it, chronicling the life and times

of Atlanta’s LGBT community. It wasn’t

meant to be.

Southern Voice Editor Laura Douglas-

Brown and other staff found the office’s

locks changed and a short letter taped to the

front door.

“It is with GREAT regret that we must

inform you that effective immediately, the

operations of Window Media, LLC and

Unite Media, LLC have closed down,” the

letter read, instructing staff to return in two

days to collect their personal belongings.

In the nation’s capital, staff at the 40-

year-old Washington Blade were met by

two corporate officers as they filed in to

their fifth floor suite in the National

Press Club Building just blocks from the

White House.

Owned by Window Media, Southern Voice

and Washington Blade were being shut down

for good, along with their sister publications

David magazine in Atlanta and the web-only

Houston Voice, as well as Unite Media’s South

Florida Blade and 411 Magazine in Ft.

Lauderdale, Fla.

ProjectQAtlanta.com, a news and entertainment

website begun in September 2008 by

a former editor and staffer at Southern Voice,

was among one of the first LGBT news outlets

to report the closures.

Douglas-Brown told the website her

thoughts were with current and former staff,

as well as the community.

“Of course, I’m personally reeling as is all

of the staff,” she said.“What is the most tragic

and breaking my heart the most is that this

publication that so many people for the last 20

years have put in so much hard work and has

received so much support from the community,

that it has reached this point.”

While Atlanta staff were kept shut out of

their offices, Washington Blade staff met with

Window Media officers Steve Myers and Mark

Kitchens who said the team had until midafternoon

to clear out their space at the

National Press Club Building.

Reporters and other staff, including

decades-long veteran reporter Lou Chibbaro,

Jr., set out upon the daunting task of packing

up and moving boxes full of papers, old photos

hanging on the walls, personal mementos

and awards.

Former Blade Editor Kevin Naff,

Photo Credit: Matt Hennie / ProjectQAtlanta.com

hope to be up and running on a full press by

their Dec. 4 issue.

Window Media’s and Unite Media’s

downfall was preceded by other closures in

the corporate gay news giant’s portfolio.

Earlier this year, Window Media announced

the closure of Genre, its national gay men’s

magazine. New York Blade, partly owned by

HX Media and in which Unite had a stake,

ceased publication this year, as well. HX

Media’s other property, a glossy gay nightlife

mag of the same name, was sold to a New

York City competitor.

In addition, the New

England Blade,formerly

IN Newsweekly

was also shuttered.


Media/Unite Media

CEO David Unger, who

resigned from the company in July, had borrowed

some $39 million from the Small

Business Administration for his Avalon

Equity Firm, a majority stakeholder in the

national media companies. The loans were to

be used in investment for gay media, according

to the blog Queerty.com. Placed into

receivership by the Small Business

Administration, Avalon’s financial troubles

seems to have spelled the end for Window’s

and Unite’s several brands.

The staffofFt.Lauderdale’s 411 and South

Florida Blade are also regrouping. Multimedia

Platforms LLC has absorbed the former publications’

staff. They will publish the new Mark’s

List Magazine and a bi-weekly, features- and

lifestyle-oriented newspaper.

The staffofthe new D.C. Agenda have set

up SavetheBlade.com. They will publish

updates there, along with the first few issues of

the new newspaper. Community members can

also buy “virtual bricks” at $1 each to help

support the new venture. ◗

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National News Notes

by David Stout . Q-Notes staff

Report looks at treatment of gay

youth in juvenile court system

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — The Equity

Project, a collaboration of the National Center for

Lesbian Rights, Legal Services for Children and

the National Juvenile Defender Center, has compiled

Hidden Injustice: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,

and Transgender Youth in Juvenile Courts. This

groundbreaking new report, based on extensive

surveys and interviews of juvenile justice professionals

and youth, provides the first comprehensive

examination of the treatment of LGBT youth

in juvenile courts nationwide.

The report paints a sobering picture of the

experiences of LGBT youth in delinquency

courts. A significant percentage of youth in

detention facilities, in some jurisdictions up to

13 percent, are LGBT, according to a recent

study by Ceres Policy Research.Yet many juvenile

justice professionals are simply unaware

that LGBT youth exist, and are often treated

unfairly in the system.

“The justice system has historically paid

scant — if any — attention to the experiences

of LGBT youth in the system. As a

result, these adolescents are often misunderstood

and mistreated by the very professionals

who are responsible for protecting their

rights, ensuring their safety, and promoting

their rehabilitation,” said Shannan Wilber,

LSC executive director.

Hidden Injustice exposes the multiple

ways in which LGBT youth experience bias, a

lack of understanding by juvenile court

professionals, denial of due process rights

and a lack of services. Additionally, the

report details how these youth are targeted

for being LGBT and subjected to unnecessary

detention and incarceration and appalling

emotional, physical and sexual abuse within

detention and correctional facilities.

“Practitioners and policymakers simply

cannot continue to ignore the serious injustices

LGBT youth face,” said Katayoon Majd,

NJDC Senior Staff Attorney and co-author of

the report.“Anyone who works in the system

has a responsibility to protect the rights, and

ensure the safety, of all court-involved youth,

including LGBT youth.”

The report contains extensive recommendations

for judges, defense attorneys, prosecutors,

probation officers, detention facility

administrators, policy makers and advocates.

In addition, the report makes 11 core recommendations

about how the system can work

more effectively with LGBT youth.

Hidden Injustice can be downloaded in PDF

format at no cost at www.equityproject.org.

McCain still supports military ban


leaders were riled recently by former presidential

contender Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) who

voiced anew his support for the failed “Don’t

Ask, Don’t Tell” military policy. During Dr.

Clifford Stanley’s Nov. 19 confirmation hearing

for Undersecretary of Personnel and Readiness

at the Department of Defense, McCain

expressed his opposition to the repeal of DADT

stating his belief that the policy is currently


working — despite evidence proving otherwise,

including studies from military think

tanks and official Pentagon publications.

“While Sen. McCain erroneously believes

that the policy works well, I think the 13,000

American troops that have been discharged

from the military under DADT, including

more than 800 specialists with skills deemed

mission critical by the U.S. military would disagree”

said Human Rights Campaign

President Joe Solmonese.

“Additionally, there are approximately 65,000

gay and lesbian Americans in uniform, including

36,000 gay and lesbian service members

serving in active duty, and there are approximately

1 million gay and lesbian veterans. It is

time for Congress to repeal this harmful and

discriminatory law. It is disappointing that Sen.

McCain has decided to stand in the way.”

Court OKs marriage recognition

NEW YORK, N.Y. — On Nov. 19, the New

York Court of Appeals ruled that the N.Y.

State Department of Civil Service and

Westchester County could extend government

benefits to same-sex couples in out-ofstate

marriages. The ruling arose from cases

in which Lambda Legal intervened on behalf

of two married same-sex couples after the

Alliance Defense Fund, an antigay legal

group, tried to overturn New York law recognizing

out-of-state marriages.

“This victory ensures that important

spousal health coverage that same-sex couples

need to protect their families will continue,”

said Susan Sommer, Director of Constitutional

Litigation at Lambda Legal.“The ADF has

brought four different cases in New York

against four different sets of government

defendants. Twenty judges have ruled in those

cases. All 20 have ruled against the ADF and in

favor of the government and married samesex


House employment bill advances

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. House

Committee on Oversight and Government

Reform voted Nov. 18 in favor of the Domestic

Partner Benefits and Obligations Act. If enacted,

the measure would provide the same family

benefits to gay federal civilian employees

as are already provided to employees with

opposite-sex spouses. The 23-12 vote moved

the bill out of committee in preparation for

future consideration by the full House of


Jennifer Chrisler, executive director of the

Family Equality Council, said,“At the foundation

of a healthy family is economic security,

which includes access to affordable healthcare,

employer-based retirement savings accounts

and tax-saving flexible spending accounts as

well as a host of other benefits. The denial of

these benefits to LGBT federal employees

causes daily harm to their families and relegates

them to second-class status.”

The federal government is the nation’s

largest civilian employer. The proposed law

would bring employment practices in the federal

government in line with 59 percent of

Fortune 500 companies, 22 states, the District

of Columbia, and over 150 local governments

who already provide benefits to LGBT workers

and their partners. ◗

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 7

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8 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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Carolinas News Notes

by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff


It’s a sell out

CHARLOTTE — Boys and girls, it’s official.

Drag Bingo was a sell out. In fact, the

event was out of tickets within 30 minutes

after opening up sales.

However, the “Matt & Ramona Show” on

107.9 The Link — one of the presenting sponsors

— decided to auction off their reserved

table to the highest bidder. On Nov. 20, Zuni

Johnson and Jason McCraw were notified that

they were the lucky winners. They got to hang

out with Matt and Ramona during the

evening’s festivities.

The monies raised in the auction bid went to

benefit the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network.

Don’t be tardy for the party!

CHARLOTTE — On Dec. 11, Hartigan’s

Irish Pub, 601 S. Cedar St., #100, will host its

annual LESBAPALOOZA to raise funds for

local charities.

This event will feature Ang Medlin upstairs

from 8-9 p.m., Crys Matthews upstairs from

9-10 p.m. and Rodie Ray and her band headlining

in the basement from 11 p.m.-1 a.m.

The Battle Women’s Shelter will be the

recipient of this year’s fundraising efforts.

Downstairs cover is $5.

For more information, visit



Happy, happy!

HOPE MILLS — Join the Fayetteville

LGBT Meetup Group as they celebrate their

one-year anniversary on Dec. 5 at Sammio’s,

3057 N. Main St., at 6 p.m.

The dutch-treat dinner will include plenty

of time to chat.

For more information,



ASO continues to survive

GREENVILLE — In a featured article in

November in The Daily Reflector, Pitt County

AIDS Service Organization (PiCASO) shared

that it was considering closing due to more

than a 30 percent budget shortfall.

PiCASO is 18-years-old.According to the

article, in 2008 it operated with $130,000. Board

President Aaron Lucier said that they were looking

at ways to keep the ASO open, despite losing

$25,000 from the United Way of Pitt County,

among others.A board decision is expected

soon if the shortfall can’t be met. They are currently

at a $40,000 deficit. Not only has it had

difficulties with funds, it has also had issues

with stocking its food pantry.

PiCASO has already sent out 1,000 fundraising

letters to those who were previous contributors.

Unfortunately, they had not raised enough

from that request to pay for the postage.

According to PiCASO’s website, these are

ways that the community can support them

right now: Contribute; host a fundraiser; volunteer;

become a donor/group to provide

office space for the agency next year (It will

help the agency cut over $700 a month in

costs. It needs a space with several private

offices and preferably a direct entrance to the

space.); and can goods and

personal hygiene items for our

food pantry.

To lend support or to make

a contribution, call 252-830-1660 or visit picaso.org/newsite.


Spaulding makes Out 100

DURHAM — Pam Spaulding has been

blogging her way to political and social stardom

since she began publishing tidbits of her

life, thoughts and insight at Pam’s House

Blend just five years ago.

Since then, her blog has grown into one of

the most heavily trafficked gay blogs in the

nation. With her team of citizen journalists,

Spaulding documents LGBT politics, progressive

news and local and state issues other

national news outlets sometimes miss.

She’s honored in this year’s Out 100, a list

of some of the nation’s most influential culture

and society movers and shakers.

“I love reader feedback, including the batshit

crazy right,” Spaulding told the national

magazine.“The best way to blunt the hate is to

embrace its lunacy, so I display the quotes as

badges of honor.”

Another North Carolina native, Chris

Hughes, is also featured. From Hickory, Hughes

went on to co-found Facebook and work as

Barack Obama’s social networking guru during

his campaign for the White House.

For more information, visit


Fundraiser slated

RALEIGH — Ready to party for a good

cause? Then sashay on down to Tantra

Nightclub, 310 S. West St., on Dec. 11 for

happy-hour fundraiser to benefit the LGBT

Center of Raleigh from 5-9 p.m.

Be part of history. Become a founder. The

first 1,000 friends to donate $100 or more will

be recognized as members of the Founders

Triangle and will receive a permanent place of

honor in the new center. Donation tiers are:

$5,000, Philanthropist Founder; $2,500,

Benefactor Founder; $1,000, Patron Founder;

$500, Pioneer Founder; $250, Activist

Founder; $100, Organizer Founder; and $10-

$75, Supporter.

To make a contribution, visit


Party for the kids

DURHAM — Catherine and Kathy’s 20th

Anniversary Toys for Tots Party will be held

on Dec. 4 at Steel Blue, 1426 S. Miami Blvd.

Doors open at 8 p.m.

DJ Maydnew will spin from 9 p.m. on.

Admission is free with an unwrapped toy

($10 value or greater) or $15 cover without. All

toys will be donated to local charities.

This is a non-smoking event.

For more information, visit



Gay mag publisher dies

ASHEVILLE — Ira Roy Schultz, 52, publisher

of the LGBT magazine Stereotypd,died

on Nov. 15 of natural causes.

Graveside services were held on Nov. 20 at

Shepherd Memorial Gardens, 5045 Asheville

Hwy., in Hendersonville. The staff of

see next page >

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Stereotypd and other community members

also planned a community memorial service

for Nov. 28, 2 p.m. at Asheville’s O.Henry’s, 237

Haywood St.

Schultz helped to birth Stereotypd,formerly

known as Out in Asheville,after moving to the

mountain city from Florida in 2000. Under

Schultz’s leadership, the former Out in

Asheville newspaper grew tremendously in

both editorial and geographic coverage areas.

Stereotypd magazine is now distributed across

Western North Carolina and into portions of

the central Piedmont.

Under his drag persona, Stephanie Sinclair,

Schultz wrote a weekly community events and

nightlife column for the publication.

Shultz and Stereotypd were integral members

of the Asheville LGBT community. He and other

staff supported area non-profits and activism

causes and helped give rise to the new Blue

Ridge Pride festival held this year during

National Coming Out Day weekend.


Students offer free HIV testing

AIKEN — Student activists encouraged

their fellow University of South Carolina-

Aiken students to get free HIV testing on Nov.

19. Organized by the campus’ Unity Alliance,

the event brought together student leaders and

representatives from Sean’s Last Wish, an

LGBT education and hate crimes prevention

foundation started by Elke Kennedy after the

anti-gay killing of her son.

Neil Bridgers, Unity Alliance president,

said the event was a success.

“People seem to be getting tested, there’s a

line going, it’s surprising how much I’m not

having to educate,” he told WJBF News Channel

6.“People know they need to get tested.”

Bridgers told Q-Notes the event was his last

official campus activity as president of Unity

Alliance before he graduates in December.

SC Pride’s Wilson honored

COLUMBIA — The president of the South

Carolina Pride Movement was honored for his

activism and advocacy at the National

Philanthropy Day luncheon presented by the

local chapter of Association of Fundraising


“While we have made progress in the past

two decades, we still live in a country divided

by the idea of recognizing the legitimacy of

the marriage vows between persons of the

same sex and a state conflicted by an ad campaign

that once celebrated its status as ‘so

gay,’”Wilson said.“I am honored today, but I

know that others lit the torch long before me

and I am now proud to carry it forward.”

Holli S. Emore, principal of Emore

Development Resources, sponsored the

local luncheon.

“Ryan is an extraordinary young leader. It

has been my pleasure to call him both a colleague

and a friend and I look for great things

in his future,” said Emore.

Wilson holds a Master of Education,

Higher Education & Student Affairs from the

University of South Carolina. He has served as

SC Pride president for the past two years. ◗

info: Announce your community event in NC News Notes.

email: editor@q-notes.com.



$30K raised at Gala

GREENSBORO — Celebrating a year of

legislative success, more than 300 local

activists and statewide advocates met Nov. 14

for Equality North Carolina’s (ENC) third

annual Equality Conference and Gala.

On the campus of the University of North

Carolina-Greensboro, advocates spent morning

and afternoon hours networking and in

educational workshops on local activism,

LGBT issues on college campuses, the legislative

process, same-sex parenting and the law,

state hate crimes law, employment non-discrimination

and more.

In 2009, Equality North Carolina saw a

string of successes. Its biggest achievement

came when the General Assembly passed the

School Violence Prevention Act,requiring all

local school systems to adopt stringent antibullying

policies inclusive of sexual orientation

and gender-identity.

In the conference’s opening plenary,

Equality North Carolina Executive Director

Ian Palmquist, pictured, delivered his annual

“State of Equality” speech. He said the organization

also saw success in expanded access

to HIV/AIDS drug assistance, the passage of

a more comprehensive sex education program

statewide and was able to block an

anti-LGBT constitutional marriage amendment

for the sixth year in a row.

Despite an economic downturn, Palmquist

said, the statewide group was able to grow. He

attributed the group’s success to its organization

building and increased grassroots

activism and


Linda Bush,


director of the



Project, also

spoke during the morning session.

Brian Bond, deputy director of the White

House Office of Public Liaison, was the organization’s

keynote speaker.

He told attendees President Obama was

committed to a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t

Tell” and the Defense of Marriage Act and

said the president will stand by Winston-

Salem, N.C.-native Kevin Jennings, director

of the Department of Education’s Office of

Safe and Drug-free Schools, who has come

under attack by anti-LGBT groups for his

past work onn LGBT issues.

That evening more than 200 attended

ENC’s Gala, where Palmquist was honored for

his 10 years of service to the organization.

State Sen. Julia Boseman (D-New Hanover),

pictured, received the organization’s 2009

Legislative Leadership Award. Also honored

was Winston-Salem high schooler Kate Mabe

for her work in helping to raise awareness of

anti-LGBT bulling at her high school.

ENC raised more than $25,000 in contributions,

excluding ticket sales and an additional

$5,000 matching pledge from Winston-

Salem’s Z. Smith Reynolds Foundation.

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 9

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Local philanthropy supports LGBT orgs

by Q-Notes staff

CHARLOTTE — Steve Bentley, executive

director of the LGBT youth services and support

organization Time Out Youth, believes

local philanthropy is important, especially

when foundations are willing to help fund

operating budgets.

Thanks to the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay

Fund, a giving and endowment initiative of

Foundation For The Carolinas, Bentley’s

organization is able to receive the funding and

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With matching challenge, Charlotte Fund continues to give back to local community

support it needs to survive.

“Very few foundations give money for

operating purposes,” he said.“For small nonprofits,

and most LGBTQ-type non-profits are

very, very small — operating expenses are the

core of what we do. That’s keeping your doors

open, paying for electricity and telephones

and computers, and salaries for staff. Without

organizations like the Lesbian and Gay Fund,

we’d be hurting for sure.”

In addition to creating more pro-LGBT visibility

in the greater Charlotte community,

Bentley also thinks the Fund helps to stimulate

local LGBT giving.

“The Lesbian and Gay Fund encourages

members of the LGBT community to be philanthropic

and share what they have with their

own community,” he said.

This sense of charity

is what prompted local

businessman Sandy

Berlin to issue a

$100,000 matching grant

challenge to the Fund

this year. Through May

2010, Berlin will match

each personal donation

dollar-for-dollar up to


“I wanted to encourage the Charlotte community

to contribute to the Charlotte Lesbian

and Gay Fund and thought of no better way

than to match their money with my own,”

Berlin said in a press release.“I believe the

overall success of our community is dependent

on promoting understanding and inclusion.”

Berlin continued,“The Charlotte Lesbian

and Gay Fund moves us toward this goal by

funding organizations and programs which

support lesbian and gay individuals and their

families in the Charlotte area.”

Jamie Banks, head of the Fund’s marketing

committee, told Q-Notes Berlin’s gift has

helped to increase donations to the Fund.

“It was announced the day of our annual

event. We actually raised about $30,000 at the

event toward the match,” she said.“That was

a big rallying point for the people in the

room because they could see their dollars

would go farther.”

Denise Palm-Beck, chair of the Lesbian &

Gay Community Center of Charlotte, agrees

matching gifts can stimulate extra giving.

“Their purpose is to stimulate and they are

usually more successful at bringing in more

dollars,” she said.“It is wonderful when any

philanthropic organization has someone who

steps up to the plate like that and it very generally

does increase donations.”

The Community Center was one of this

year’s Fund recipients. They were gifted a

$10,000 operations grant. Other Center funders

have included Southern Country

Charlotte and their annual Queen City Stomp,

the Wesley Mancini Foundation and the White

Party, among others and private donors.

Palm-Beck said she’s been impressed with

the local philanthropy of the LGBT community,

and believes they give more per capita than

other groups.

“We certainly wish the Fund a very successful

drive and the matching gift is fantastic,”

Palm-Beck said.“We salute Sandy Berlin

for having the heart to do that.”

In addition to grants for non-profit operating

budgets, Banks said the Fund looks

especially for mainstream organizations and

non-LGBT organizations seeking to serve or

represent LGBT people or issues in the work

they do.

“The [community connections] grants are

really more for mainstream organizations

reaching out to the lesbian and gay community,”

she said.“We’re looking for other organizations

to make an impact, not solely organizations

that support lesbian and gay issues.”

An example, she said, was a grant to Abdi

Osman, an artist-in-residence at the McColl

Center for Visual Arts. The Fund’s grant to

him will be used for a photography exhibit

and art project exploring LGBT issues and

people in the local community. Osman, a

Somali-Canadian photographer, focuses his

work on “questions of black masculinity as it

intersects with Muslim and queer identities,”

according to a biography.

Bentley’s Time Out Youth received $18,000

toward their operating budget and an addition

$3,000 for their speakers’ bureau program,

which trains young adults on important

LGBT and youth issues and connects

them to organizations, schools and boards

that want to learn more about the community

and needs of local youth.

In addition to the Community Center,

McColl Center and Time Out Youth, the

Lesbian and Gay Fund’s 2009 grant recipients

included: Campus Pride, Gay Men’s Chorus of

Charlotte, One Voice Chorus and the

University of North Carolina-Charlotte

Department of Counseling. The Fund distributed

a total of $57,500 in grants this year.

Foundation For The Carolinas’ Lesbian and

Gay Fund is overseen by a volunteer board

and all donations are redistributed to the

community. Since its inception in 2004, the

Fund has provided over $162,500 in operational

and community connections grants.

Other LGBT-focused charitable giving

organizations across the Carolinas support

local groups in their communities. In

Charlotte, the Wesley Mancini Foundation has

funded LGBT-inclusive theatre productions, a

speaker series at the University of North

Carolina-Charlotte and other community initiatives.

Greensboro’s Guilford Green

Foundation distributes tens of thousands of

dollars each year in local grants for Piedmont-

Triad area organizations, gifting more than

$70,000 in 2008.

Winston-Salem’s Adam Foundation and

Raleigh’s Crape Myrtle Foundation raises

money for local causes and HIV/AIDS prevention

and support. ◗

— Lainey Millen and Matt Comer

contributed to this story.

10 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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No re-election bid for openly gay Boseman

Wilmington Democrat will step

down from her Senate post at end of

term in 2010

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

WILMINGTON — State Sen. Julia

Boseman (D-New Hanover), the only openly

gay or lesbian member of the General

Assembly, announced Nov. 19 she will not seek

re-election when her term ends in 2010.

In a statement, Boseman cited family

responsibilities for her decision to leave the

General Assembly. Boseman’s domestic partner

is expecting a child in January.

“Being a parent has been my guiding force

as a Senator and it is as a parent that I have

made this decision,” Boseman said in a statement.“With

a baby on the way in January, I

feel that it is more important than ever to be

close to home.”

Elected in 2004, Boseman was the first

openly gay or lesbian North Carolinian elected

to the state legislature. Prior to her service in

the Senate, Boseman served on the New

Hanover County Board of Commissioners.

Boseman said she was proud of her legislative

successes representing the Wilmington


area and protecting children across the state.

“When thinking back on my time in the

legislature, there have been many successes—

especially supporting our classrooms,

creating jobs in our film

industry and our port, and helping

UNC-Wilmington and Cape Fear

Community College grow,” she said.

“But if asked for my greatest accomplishment,

I would say it was doing

what I could to help the vulnerable:

protecting victims of domestic violence,

protecting our children from

sexual predators, and protecting kids

— all kids — from bullying.”

This year, Boseman was the chief

sponsor of the School Violence

Prevention Act, passed in June and signed by

Gov. Bev Perdue in July. The legislation

requires all public school districts to adopt

stringent, LGBT-inclusive anti-bullying by

January and is the first time sexual orientation

and gender-identity appears in state law.

At a gala in Greensboro on Nov. 14,

Boseman was honored with Equality North

Carolina’s Legislative Leadership Award for her

work on the anti-bullying bill.

Boseman has faced scrutiny and criticism

AIDS Quilt comes to WNC

Display, other events commemorate

World AIDS Day

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

ASHEVILLE — Local residents will be

among those honored at an AIDS Memorial

Quilt display hosted by the Western North

Carolina AIDS Project (WNCAP) this year. The

The AIDS Memorial Quilt on display in San Francisco.

Photo Credit: Courtesy luxomedia, via Flickr.

Licensed under Creative Commons.

event, coinciding with the observance of

World AIDS Day on Dec. 1, opened Nov. 23

and continues through Dec. 2.

Considered by many to be a “national

treasure,” the AIDS Memorial Quilt is comprised

of more than 44,000 individual panels

honoring victims of HIV and AIDS. The

Asheville exhibit, dubbed “A Tapestry of Lives,”

includes 160 panels from the overall collection.

WNCAP reached out to the Western

North Carolina community and asked

citizens and supporters what panels

they’d like to see. Special panels featured

in the local exhibit include those

made for Ryan White, the Indiana

teenager after whom the Ryan White

CARE Act is named; North Carolinian

Marty Prairie, an HIV/AIDS educator

and crusader; and Rudolf Nureyev, a

Russian dancer who succumbed to

AIDS-related complications in 1993. ◗

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over the past year, as she fought for legal custody

of her adopted son with her former partner,

Melissa Jarrell. In August, the North

Carolina Court of Appeals

ruled in Boseman’s favor,

upholding the original

adoption order. Jarrell had

sought to nullify the adoption.

The state Supreme

Court has yet to indicate

whether it will hear an

appeal of the August decision

sought by Jarrell.

Despite her departure

from the Senate, Boseman

pledged to continue her

service to the community.

“Wilmington will always be my home and

while I will be leaving the Senate, I will continue

to work for the people of New Hanover

County in other ways,” she said.

She told the Wilmington Star-News her

decision to leave the Senate was not the end of

her political career.

“I don’t intend for it to be the end of my

political career,” she told the daily paper,“but

for now it’s an end to my career in the General


Boseman’s New Hanover seat is considered

a swing district. In 2004, she unseated

incumbent Republican Woody White. Of registered

voters, 38 percent are Democrats, 34

percent are Republicans and 27 percent are

unaffiliated. ◗

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NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 11

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12 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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HIV/AIDS resources in

the Charlotte area

Services for patients after MAP’s closure

Thousands of HIV-positive clients will

be displaced after the closure of

Metrolina AIDS Project. In October, the

organization announced it would shut

down after nearly 25 years of service.

Displaced clients can look to several other

Charlotte-area agencies, non-profit organizations

and businesses offering

HIV/AIDS case management.

Alternative Care Solutions, Inc.

301 McCullough Dr., Suite 403

Charlotte, NC 28262


Contact: Toumeka Harrow,


Bradley-Reid Corporation

715 E. 5th St., Suite 216

Charlotte NC 28202


Contact: Sandra Bradley-Reid,


Carolina Total Care Services, Inc.

311 Willow St.

Gastonia, NC 28052


Contact: Alitha Fleming,


The CHARM Project, Inc.

St. Martin’s Episcopal Church

1510 E. 7th St.

Charlotte, NC 28204


Contact: Linda Smith,


Eve’s Home Care Services

1801 N. Tryon St., Suite 311

Charlotte NC 28206


Contact: Toumeka Harrow, tharrow@ctc.net

G.O.R.E. Community Development


2118 Breezewood Dr.

Charlotte, NC 28262


Contact: Stella Reid,


Hilltop Comprehensive Care, Inc.

5500 Executive Center Dr., Suite 202

Charlotte, NC 28212


Contact: Richard Hill,


Home Care for the Carolinas, LLC

3472 North Davidson St.

Charlotte, NC 28215


Contact: Tamara Neely,


Life’s Focus Home Health and Case

Management Service

6101 Idlewild Rd., Ste 125

Charlotte, NC 28212


Contact: Angie Scott,


Living Water CDC, Inc.

3906 Hickory Grove Rd.

Mount Holly, NC 28120


Contact: Andrea Gooding,


Mecklenburg County Health Dept.

249 Billingsley Rd.

Charlotte, NC 28211


Contact: Julie Adams,


Metro Integrated Alliance

1 Buffalo Ave. NW, Suite 1103

Concord, NC 28205


Contact: Jacqueline Patterson,


Nia’s Place

5736 N. Tryon St. Ste. 201E

Charlotte, NC 28213


Contact: Katrina Boyette,


Professional Care Home Health

Services, LLC

3721 Eastway Dr.

Charlotte, NC 28205-6266


Contact: Teresia Medley,


Quality Home Care Services, Inc.

4510 D Sunset Rd.

Charlotte, NC 28216


Contact: Lisa Wigfall,


Regional AIDS Interfaith Network


First United Methodist Church

501 N. Tryon St., 4th Floor

Charlotte, NC 28202




4530 Park Rd., Suite 420

Charlotte NC 28209


Contact: Kim Funderburk,


— Compiled by Q-Notes staff in part

from resource listings provided by the

HIV/STD Prevention and Care Branch, North

Carolina Department of Health and Human

Services’ Division of Public Health

Epidemiology Section.


Life with HIV: Overcoming fear

Patient and doctor say education

and testing are key to prevention

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

For almost three decades now, doctors and

HIV/AIDS patients have witnessed tremendous

transformations in how the world of

medicine is able to control and treat HIV, says

Dr. Frederick Cruickshank of Charlotte’s

Rosedale Infectious Diseases.

In the early days of the epidemic, no medicines

had yet to be developed for treating the

virus that causes AIDS. For those who contracted

HIV, news of the infection amounted

to a death sentence. It wasn’t long until some

drugs started rolling out of the laboratories of

pharmaceutical companies. The changes in

medical treatment continued, with patients

going from prescriptions of multiple drugs,

multiple times per day to newer classes of

drugs taken once or twice daily.

Patient Mark Wisniewski, who was diagnosed

with HIV in the fall of 2002, says his

health remained good enough that he only

started taking medicine to control the virus

just a year ago. He’s now enrolled in a research

study and receiving medicines at a lower cost

than if he were to seek medications on his


Wisniewski says multiple factors led to his

decision to enroll in a research study.

“First, it allowed me to be on meds,” he

said.“The other factor was financial. Last, I

could contribute and help in a study for HIV.”

The financial burden of HIV/AIDS treatment

is particularly high, ranging from $1,000

to $3,000 each month. Patients ineligible for

research studies are forced to apply for financial

assistance through state and federal programs,

as well as local non-profits offering free

or affordable case management and support.

Unfortunately, some funding and support

programs can often come with a waiting list

into the hundreds or thousands. Some

patients have no choice but to attempt paying

for their own treatment. Because of its outrageous

expense and their tight wallets, some

patients result to skipping regimens.

Although the medicines last longer,

Cruickshank says such irregular treatment

does more harm than it does good. It is also a

leading factor in the development of drugresistant

strains of HIV.

A new research study — in which

Rosedale Infectious Diseases is helping to

gather participants — aims to investigate the

effects of a new drug therapy for patients

whose initial treatment has become ineffective.

These patients, according to researcher

BBK Worldwide, have HIV strains that grow

resistant to available drug therapies over time.

Wisniewski and Cruickshank hope new

drug therapies and continuing research will

produce more effective treatments. While

HIV-positive individuals no longer face an

almost immediate death sentence, no one is

quite sure of the impact long-term treatment

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has on the immune system.

“No one expected HIV

patients to live as long as

they are,” Cruickshank says,

but daily, high dosages of

drugs leave behind negative

side effects and damage to

a patient’s kidneys and liver.

Despite the side effects,

Wisniewski says it is a “no

brainer” to take the meds.

“I could die 30 years

from now or I’m dead in 10

years,” he says.

The Charlotte doctor

and his patient both agree testing is key to

continued HIV prevention. Stigma and fear,

Wisniewski says, stands in the way.

“It is the fear of meds, the fear of just

knowing you’re positive,” he says. “When I

lived in New York City, I went to a gayfriendly

doctor and he wanted his patients

tested every six months, which was one

thing I didn’t like because I just didn’t want

to know.”

They also think younger generations of gay

men and men who have sex with men don’t

understand the significance of life after HIV.

“They didn’t see the hell people went

through in the 1980s,” Cruickshank says.

Cruickshank also thinks national attention

on HIV/AIDS should be refocused.

“HIV has become more of a social cause

than a health concern,” he says.

Dr. Frederick Cruickshank and HIV-positive patient Mark

Wisniewski say young people should know how to protect

themselves and others.

This year, the federal government undertook

a public awareness campaign to refocus

that national attention. But Cruickshank

thinks those efforts should include earlier and

more accurate and comprehensive sexual

health education, a progressive step already

taken by North Carolina through this year’s

successful Healthy Youth Act.

With more education, Wisniewski thinks

stigma and fear will be reduced. He says young

people should take their health seriously.

“You really have to know how to protect

yourself and others,” he says. ◗

— For more information on the research study

mentioned in this report, call 704-948-8582 or

email mbelk@rosedaleid.com. Be sure to check

out this issue’s Out & About Calendar on page

26 for great World AIDS Day events,

fundraisers and galas across the Carolinas.

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NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 13

Q&A: Charlotte’s new mayor-elect on LGBT equality

Anthony Foxx committed to amending non-discrimination policies, other LGBT-inclusive changes

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

In November, Charlotte voters ushered in a

new era of local government, electing the

city’s first Democratic mayor in 22 years

and an historic 8-3 Democratic majority on

city council. A number of city council candidates,

as well as Mayor-elect Anthony Foxx,

have expressed their support of the LGBT

community and have said they’ll seek to make

LGBT-inclusive changes at the city level.

Q-Notes spoke with Foxx via telephone just

two weeks after his election victory, discussing

the general state of Charlotte, his top priorities

upon taking office in December and his plans

for supporting the LGBT community.

So, now you’re the new mayor elect.

How’s that feel after campaigning for

it and working toward it for so long?

It feels good. Obviously it is a challenging time

for the city and for the country, but that’s precisely

that kind of time when you need leaders

who have a proven resiliency and new ideas

on how to tackle old problems and the

courage to follow through. I’m looking forward

to serving.

You’ve had a couple weeks since the

election to reflect on your campaign.

Looking back, what are you particularly

proud of, and in meeting constituents

what did you most learn

about the needs of Charlotte and

her citizens?

I’m proud of the positive campaign that we

ran. I thought it was important for our city in

a time like this to really have a good debate on

the issues, but not on personalities. I think we

accomplished that. In terms of what I learned

from citizens, I learned what I suspected,

which was that not only is the community

changing, but the community has changed.

The leadership that we’ve had in place has

governed under an outmoded leadership style

and what I’ll endeavor to do is be a lot more

inclusive, a lot more focused on acknowledging

the changes that have occurred in the

demographics of our city and pushing to

make Charlotte a place that’s known as an

even more welcoming place than it has been

in the past.

You’re the first Democratic mayor

here in 22 years. The last, of course,

was Mayor Harvey Gantt. Do you

think the voters’ decision to elect you

is an indicator that the city is starting

to turn bluer, more solidly


You know, maybe. That may be true. It’s really

hard to say. Clearly this was an off-year election.

The mayor’s office was probably the

biggest race on the ballot. In those years you

see a dramatic drop off in turnout and I was

actually surprised by the extent to which

turnout was low this time. It was lower than it

has ever been in the other two times I’ve run.

Maybe that has to do with the economy or has

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to do with people being worn out from 2008.

I’ve seen an analysis that says 49 percent of the

voters were Democratic, which roughly tracks

the percentages [of registered voters] in the

city. We’ve had a run of Republicans who’ve

been able to attract Democratic support and

independent support. This time, I think some

of that independent group and some of those

Democrats who had supported Pat McCrory

chose to support me this time. I think it is an

indication of the kind of campaign we ran. In

local races I think you tend to see people voting

more for individuals than the party. I think

that was true this time as well.

LGBT folks are citizens too, so other

than specifically LGBT issues, what

will be some of the topics on the top

of your priority list upon taking office

in December?

Priority number one is getting the city back to

work. We’ve got an unemployment level that is

the highest in the state here in our county. If

you track the numbers of people who are also

underemployed, it even goes higher than that.

There is a lot of work to do in terms of the

short term trying to back-fill jobs in sectors

hit hard and longer term identifying sectors

with long-term potential and working with

our community colleges and school system to

orient ourselves to the jobs of the future.

There is a lot of work ahead of us on that.

In addition to that, one critical need that I

see for our community overall is for leadership

to be a lot more communicative about the

problems we face and the solutions available

to deal with those problems, whether that be

the economy, transportation issues or housing.

I’ll be working hard to find new ways to

communicate with the public because I think

the more we can inform residents of Charlotte

about where we are, where we are trying to

get, I think the more supportive they will be

for the solutions we end up moving forward.

On LGBT issues now — I asked you to

read at least one of my opinion

columns here in Q-Notes, I think, that

reflected a lot of the frustration LGBT

citizens have here. A lot of us work

for companies that are very progressive.

We are protected by corporate

policies, but LGBT citizens who are

employees of the city aren’t protected.

One of things we’ve needed for a

long time is an inclusive non-discrimination

policy from the city. A lot of

people would like to see domestic

partner benefits extended as well.

When do you see the city council taking

up these issues?

I’d like to see the City Council move on the

non-discrimination issue very early in the

next term and I’d like to see us do that in a

bipartisan way. I know there are members of

City Council within both parties who have

14 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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expressed support for including sexual orientation

in the non-discrimination ordinance.

Given that, I’d like to see action on

that very early.

On the benefits issue, there’s the complicating

issue of the economy and city revenues

that’s got to be considered there. I would and

have expressed support for doing what the

county has done, which is to move forward

with a full cost analysis of extending domestic

partner benefits. I think that is the right step

because it helps us know the costs and by the

time we get into budget deliberations we’ll be

able to know what the financial impact of

doing that is. I think you have the political or

the philosophical issue of whether it is a good

idea or not. I have expressed a willingness to

move forward in the way I just described. I

think there will be support on the council to

do that. There is also the fiscal issue there,

too. We’ll have to feel our way through it. We

have the police department asking for more

officers and all kinds of things pulling at us.

We’ll work really, really hard to figure out how

to get the things done we want to get done.

But, it is on the list and I believe that understanding

the impact of it is the first step but

not the last one.

You mention you’re fully committed

to including sexual orientation in the

non-discrimination ordinance, but do

you think you or the City Council

might also be committed to including

gender-identity or gender-expression

so that folks whose outward gender

appearance is not used against them

in employment decisions?

I’d have to dig a little more into the human

resources aspects of that to understand the

extent to which it isn’t covered by sexual

orientation. In my own workplace, for

example, which does have a sexual orientation

component of their non-discrimination

[policy], I have seen an

additional card out there. I’m willing to

look at it, sure.

It isn’t a bad or a good thing,

just a fact. In Charlotte there are

lots of people who have religious

convictions that say homosexuality

is wrong. Do you see it as

your job as mayor to help end

some of that prejudice and stigma,

or, like Barack Obama, are

you going to be everybody’s

mayor and sit everyone down at

a table and come to consensus?

I think it is important to be sensitive to

all the voices in our community and

that means being sensitive to the voices

that believe Charlotte is behind the

curve and hasn’t been as aggressive as

we should be on embracing the LGBT

community. Then there are the voices

that think we’ve done too much. I represent

all of those people and part of the role

that I play is to, on the one hand, not infusing

more emotion and rhetoric either way into

the decisions we face as a community and

trying to make dispassionate, practical but

good choices for our community going forward.

I know, I’m not off the turnip truck, I

know there are some people who will never

agree with me on just about anything. I think

that is just about a very, very small minority.

Most people are willing to listen. I look forward

to earning the respect of a wide swath of

our community in terms of moving forward

not only on this issue but also on others.

What are your initial thoughts about

appointing openly gay and lesbian

people to whatever positions you

might be able to appoint or hire for,

and secondly, your thoughts on creating

a special mayoral task force, committee

or commission on LGBT equality

in Charlotte?

The former is not only something I will do, it

is something I’ve done. We’ve appointed a

number of LGBT folks to committees not

because they are LGBT, but because they bring

a wealth of experience to the table. I think

Mayor-elect Anthony Foxx.

Photo Credit: Henk Jonker, henkjonkerphoto.com.

that’s a sign of progress in our city. As mayor, I

will end up appointing about a third of our

city’s committees and I am committed to

making sure appointments reflect and serve

LGBT individuals.

In terms of a task force, there are about

three of four I want to get started off the bat. I

think maybe a more incremental step will be

to have some dialogue with some of the established

folks in the LGBT community and

starting from there. ◗

Ed. Note: Foxx will be sworn in at the City

Council swearing-in ceremony on Dec. 7 at the

Council’s organizational meeting.

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 15

Not for Reproduction

Not for Reproduction

3G Wars, p 18

Hi-tech Holidays, p 19

‘There’s an app for that’, p 19

Season’s Readings, p 22

…and more at q-notes.com

Jam Session

Oprah named Sarabeth’s Legendary

Spreadable Fruits one of her top

10 all-time favorite gifts — and

‘round here, what Mama O says

goes. But, it’s no wonder why

the daytime diva and her

devoted minions think

Sarabeth’s preserves are the

bees’ knees; the NYCbased

Kitchen cuts the

fruits by hand to avoid

bruising and each batch

is slow-simmered and

allowed to thicken until

it reaches peak flavor.

Certified kosher by the

Orthodox Union

(Hellooo, Hanukkah!),

these award-winning

jams are available by

the jar or in noneed-to-wrap


and sampler




Brief beliefs

Piss & Vinegar — the

provocative new brand of

underwear from Ginch

Gonch founder Jason

Sutherland — has a heart on. For Jesus.

Yes, that Jesus. Made from breathable,

body-conforming stretch fabric, the first

release from this caustic collection is the “I

Love…” line, which features the controversial

“I Love Jesus” and “I Love Buddha”

briefs, boxer briefs, low-rise briefs and jockstraps.

Of course, if you’re not feeling so

sacrilegious this holiday season, Piss &

Vinegar — which borrows its name from

British slang for living young at heart —

will also introduce “I Love Boys” and “I

Love Girls” briefs. Redeeming, sure. But

you’re still on the shortlist for eternal




Dirty ‘Pop’

An homage to the surreality that

defines New York City, celebrated pop

artist Olan Montgomery’s new pocketsized

book, ”POP — Art inspired by New

York’s Own Subcultures from Celebrity

to Subway,” examines with hypercolor

sunglasses the individuals that affectionately

rub the Big Apple’s underbelly, including

glittering nightlife personalities, gay idols

and the fragile homeless. Combining elements

of photography and hand painting

with poetry and famous quotes, the

images contained within the coffee-table

tome are digitally manipulated, printed on

canvas, then personally stroked with color

and rhetoric by the artist himself

— all in a neon-hued

attempt to answer the question, “Why

can’t a nanosecond last forever?” Cultural

icons Boy George, Rufus Wainwright, Alan

Cumming, Anna Nicole Smith and

Amanda Lepore are among those featured.




With flavor infusions like pomegranate,

chocolate, tomato and

triple shot espresso, Three Olives

Vodka is quickly gaining a reputation

as the gourmand’s drink of choice.

But that doesn’t mean you

have to be a food and beverage

snob to get your

hands on a bottle. For less

than a Jackson (Andrew,

not Tito), you can snag

750 ml of the smooth stuff

to give as a gift to the host

of your next holiday party.

Extra points for playing

guest bartender with this

Ho-Ho-Hojito recipe:

Muddle 10 mint leaves and

half a lime in a tall cocktail

glass. Pour in two tablespoons

of simple syrup and

fill the glass with ice. Add

two ounces of Three Olives Pomegranate

Vodka (and a dash more for good measure)

and top it off with club soda. Garnish

with a mint sprig and lime, and voila! Just

don’t over do it, OK.

Remember what happened

last year?



A higher ‘score’

In season two of “Keeping

Score” — the national project

of the San Francisco

Symphony to make classical

music more accessible to the

masses — three new programs

explore the music and

stories behind Hector Berlioz’s

symphonic love letter

“Symphonie fantastique;”

Charles Ives’ sonic

portrait of New

England with


Symphony;” and



“Symphony No.

5,” a work that

may have saved

the composer’s life.

This high-def,

three-disc documentary


— a follow-up

to season

one of the series, which

premiered on PBS in

November 2006 — is packaged with two

concert tapings and available on Blu-Ray.

$24.99 each


Fly ‘Pink Skies’

Like you need a reason to jet off to a faraway

land — but, at least this is a good one.

Now through the end of the year, when you

purchase an American Airlines gift card

you’ll join the fight against breast cancer. For

every $50 you spend in travel gift cards,

American Airlines will donate $5 to Susan G.

Komen for the Cure. You can purchase physical

cards for yourself (to enjoy a guilt-free

getaway), or choose virtual cards to be delivered

by e-mail with a personal message

attached. Just enter code “Komen” in the

tracking box when ordering online.



Sonic color

Built on the concept of technology

meeting style, DEOS introduces two collections

of innovative iPod earphone covers

available at all price levels. The first, DEOS

DIAMOND — for those who have more

cash than they can shake a peppermint

stick at — consists of three distinct earphone

cover styles specifically named for

the number of individual diamonds imbedded

in each traditional or black titanium

design. DEOS CRVZ — for more budgetconscious

consumers — boasts three collections:

Crystal, featuring Swarovski bedazzlements;

Aluminum, available in an array of

metallic colors; and Silicone, designed with

active lifestyles in mind.

$9.99 and up


’STRiDA’ Rite

Give your hooves a rest

with the STRiDA collapsible

bike, the first completely new

bicycle geometry in 95 years.

Inside a foldable triangular

frame of lightweight aluminum,

power is transferred to

the rear wheel via a silent

Kevlar belt (no oily gears or

chains!) while horizontally

mounted handlebars allow the

rider to sit comfortably upright

for an excellent view of the

road. When you’re ready to

hop off, just fold STRiDA up

and wheel it to your next destination.

In compact form, the

bike stows easily in a car, on

the train or in the closet. Just

like you used to.



see Ultimate on 20

next issue

December 12, 2009

Faith in the LGBT Community

LGBTs working with faith institutions

Holiday Issue

Last minute gifts & tips

Not for Reproduction

www.q-notes.com/qliving • QNotes

Q - L I V I N G


Not just for fashion anymore

Beauty meets the best tech in new crop of gadgets for holiday technology gifts

Function alone isn’t enough to sell us

on a new piece of technology anymore.

Americans increasingly want their technology

to look good — stylish, even — in

addition to working well.

“If you’re old enough

to remember the huge,

clunky-looking ‘car phones’

of the late ‘80s and early

‘90s, or if you’ve seen them

in the movies or on old TV

shows, you’ll have some

perspective on how technology

has evolved toward

being beautiful as well as

functional,” says Jeanne

Benedict, host of DIY

Network’s “Weekend

Entertaining” and regular

contributor to


Designers agree

that a balance of form

and function is essential

to appealing and useful

home decor. With new

wafer-thin, high-definition

flat-screen TVs,

surround-sound systems

with wireless

speakers and sleek home telephones that

allow you to receive cell phone calls on

your landline, modern home technology is

trending toward beauty and usefulness.

If you’re in the market to upgrade your

home technology this holiday season, or if

you’ve got tech gifts on your holiday

shopping lists for loved ones and family,

be sure to look for gadgets that blend

style and practicality, including:


LED high-definition, flat-screen TVs

that are almost as thin as a sheet of glass.

These TVs are ideal for mounting on the

wall as a focal point of virtually any room.

The flatter the better and the new generation

of TVs are so thin and light, they

make their predecessors look like those

‘90s chunky car phones. Some manufacturers

also offer flat screens in colors to

match virtually any home

decor — no more settling

for just silver

or black.


Sleek new

home phones,

like VTech’s LS6245, combine

advanced technology that lets

VTech’s LS6245 lets you receive both landline

and cellular calls.

Photo Credit: VTech

you receive

both landline

and cellular

calls on

the cordless handset. Its fashionable profile

fits into virtually any home decor. The

phone offers touch-sensitive buttons on

Not for Reproduction

the handset and base, as well as capabilities

that allow you to connect up to four

wireless devices such as cellular phones or

wireless headsets.

With the ability to make and receive

cellular calls on the LS6245 handset or

take landline calls with a wireless headset,

this phone system helps eliminate problems

typically associated with using a

cell at home — dropped calls, poor call

quality and limited range. The practical

VTech LS6245 is available at


WiFi tech

Wireless technology has made it possible

to enjoy surround sound and your

favorite DVD without the visual distraction

of wires running between the components.

From wireless speakers that work

with your surround sound system and

stereo to flat screens and DVD players that

can communicate with each other, technology

has eliminated the old problem of

ugly — and potentially hazardous — wires

throughout your home.

“It’s no longer necessary to sacrifice

stylish design and decor-enhancing beauty

to get the latest technology for your

home,” Benedict says. “Modern product

makers are manufacturing better-looking

technology that fits with our lifestyles and

home decor.” ◗

— Courtesy of ARAcontent

Not for Reproduction

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 17

The 3G Wars

Buying a new smartphone for the holidays?

Be sure to choose the right carrier

by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

Verizon and AT&T have been battling it out

over who has the best 3G coverage. By now

you’ve seen Verizon Wireless’ several commercials

— their “There’s A Map For That” campaign

— calling out AT&T for their spotty 3G


Verizon’s commercials — five of them in all

— have irked AT&T to the point of lawsuit

mentality. AT&T is suing Verizon, calling their

ads “false” and “misleading.” Verizon doesn’t

seem very worried, responding bluntly to say

the least.

“AT&T did not file

this lawsuit because

Verizon’s ‘There’s A

Map For That’ advertisements

are untrue;

AT&T sued because

Verizon’s ads are true

and the truth hurts,”

Verizon said.

So, what does all this

mean for your techie-,

smartphone-buying holiday

plans? Comparing

the two companies’

coverage areas side-byside

will help you

choose the right carrier

for your new smartphone


Q - L I V I N G

AT&T’s wireless network covers pretty much

all of the continental U.S. But, most of the coverage

isn’t 3G — it’s AT&T’s EDGE service, a

much slower, 2.5G network.

Rumors are swirling over Verizon’s plans to

start selling iPhones on their network next year.

If Apple’s hot smartphone product is what

you’re after, you’re stuck with AT&T for now. If

what you really want is expanded 3G coverage,

you’ll have to choose another phone and go

with Verizon. ◗

AT&T’s self-reported data networks, showing 3G in blue.

Not for Reproduction

Verizon’s self-reported 3G coverage vs. their depiction of AT&T’s 3G coverage.

AT&T’s self-reported combined data network, including 3G and the slower

EDGE and GPRS networks.

18 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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Q - L I V I N G

Hi-tech holidays

Technology gifts dominate this year’s shopping lists

The holiday season is officially underway

and consumers will be hitting the

stores to shop for their loved ones. Hot on

holiday wish lists this year — technology.

According to new data by the Consumer

Electronics Association (CEA),

about 80 percent of consumers

said they want technology as a

holiday gift, a slight increase

from last year’s 79 percent and

75 percent recorded in 2007.

With endless

gift ideas to

choose from,

coming up

with your shopping

game plan for this

holiday season can be quite a

daunting task, but there are tons of

resources online that can help you narrow

down your search. Need a place to start?

Office Depot’s Top 30 Smart Gifts is a list

of the “must-have” smart gift items to

help busy holiday shoppers find that perfect

gift this season. The list features the

hottest products combined with extraordinary

savings. Here are the season’s top gift

ideas to consider when you are shopping

this holiday:

HP Mini Netbook

The perfect mobile companion for the

traveler, this netbook boasts an extra long

battery life so you can remain

connected while on the

road. The HP Mini Netbook

also comes with the new

Windows 7 operating system


Flip Video Ultra HD


Don’t miss capturing any

of your holiday memories.

Record up to 120 minutes of

video with the push of a

button and easily upload

your videos via the built-in USB adaptor.

Ativa 7” Digital Frame

Available exclusively at Office Depot for

less than $40, this frame allows your loved

ones to display their memories

and is a perfect gift for

family, friends or business

associates. Preload it with

some photos to make a truly

personalized statement.

Tom Tom 5” GPS

Don’t be late to the holiday

party this year because of

bad directions. The Tom Tom

5” GPS System plans the

fastest routes based on traffic

patterns, all with a new, larger display


Sony Pocket Reader

With the Sony Pocket

Reader, you can read

your books electronically

and store up to 350 of

your favorite titles at a

time. Perfect to take

along while waiting in

an airport or on that

long flight.

Ed Hardy Faceplates

for iPhone

Perfect for the teens

on your list that are all

about fashion, nothing makes more of a

statement than Ed Hardy. Select from five

Ed Hardy-designed faceplates manufactured

to fit perfectly with an iPhone.

Last minute gift?

For a practical, last-minute tech gift,

consider an Ativa 4 GB Fashion USB Flash

Drive from Office Depot which can be used

for anything from school to business work.

It also makes for a great stocking stuffer. ◗

— Find out about all these gifts and more

online at www.Top30SmartGifts.com.

Article courtesy of ARAcontent.

Not for Reproduction

‘There’s an app for that’

You’ve spent weeks trying to figure out

what you’re going to buy your best friend

or loved one this holiday season. You’ve

sent innumerable hints, peeked into their

internet browser history and everything

else you could think of. Yet, you find yourself

empty on ideas.

Why not let your friend or family member

decide for themselves? If they’ve got

an iPhone or iPod, buy your friend an

iTunes Gift Card in amounts of $15, $25,

$50 or more. They can buy apps, music,

whole albums and audiobooks, music

videos, movies, TV shows or whatever their

heart desires. ◗

— by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff

Not for Reproduction

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 19

Not for Reproduction

20 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

from page 16

Jesus juice

Treat the oenophiles on your list to the

gift that keeps on giving with monthly

deliveries from the Wine Every Month

Club. Recipients will enjoy new, noteworthy

discoveries from wine regions around

the world — including Australia, France,

Italy, the U.S. and more. Each bottle arrives

with an informative description of the

selection as well as seasonal tips and

Not for Reproduction

Q - L I V I N G

recipes. And just for you – our loyal

reader – the Wine Every Month

Club is offering an additional

month of free wine when you order

by phone and mention discount

code “ROX.” Six and 12-month

subscriptions are available.



Bar stars

A perfect pairing

to the Wine

Every Month

Club, Germanybased




and decanting


will add a



touch to any home

bar. Made of sleek,

stainless steel —

and available

exclusively from

the San


Museum of

Craft+Design Museum Store — these

inspired, affordable gifts aim to impress the

foodies and wine connoisseurs in your life

without depressing your pockets.

All proceeds will

support SFMC+D

exhibitions and educational




Man up

Trouble attracting

potential suitors?

No sweat. Or,

maybe it is. Cover up

your natural repellent

with Masculinity by

Intense, a new fragrance

from N10Z

that’s formulated with

a unique male-to-male

pheromone. Featuring a refined composition

of exotic spices, aromatic herbs

and crisp citrus, Masculinity opens with

notes of French basil, West Indian clove,

Asian mandarin and Sicilian bergamot followed

by hints of amber, cedarwood, black

pepper and leather. Holy Hugh Jackman!

Designed to stimulate the vomeronasal

organ (among other “organs”), this sensual

scent also is said to help improve self-confidence.

Whatever works.



Stocking stuffers


“Club Christmas 3,” from D1 Music

producers Peter McLean and Keith

Kemper, features uplifting, instrumental

dance-floor versions of beloved holiday

classics like “Away in a Manger,” “O

Come, All Ye Faithful,” and a never-heardbefore

remix of New Year’s staple “Auld

Lang Syne.” Turn the disc merrily on high

after dinner and watch grandma get

down. (TBA; releases Nov. 25)

On “Suckin’ It For the Holidays,”

Grammy-nominated, gay-lovin’ comedienne

Kathy Griffin delivers some of her

best stand-up ever on an album that was

recorded live from the Borgata Hotel &

Casino in Atlantic City.

“Gold and Green,” Sugarland’s 10-

track holiday-themed record, includes several

seasonal standards, such as “Silent

Night” and “Holly Jolly Christmas,” as well

as a few original tunes, including the title

track and soon-to-be favorites “City of

Silver Dreams” and “Coming Home.”


“Make the Yuletide Gay,” the sugarcookie-sweet

new rom-com from writerdirector

Rob Williams (“3-Day Weekend”),

follows Olaf “Gunn” Gunnunderson

(Keith Jordan) home for the holidays as

he trades his out-and-proud college persona

for an in-the-closet existence with his

parents. But as Christmas approaches, he

gets a surprise he never expected — his

boyfriend … on his doorstep.



“Kristine W: The

Ultimate Music Video

Collection,” a two-disc

DVD, comes packed with a

decade of the diva’s

biggest hits, including

“Save My Soul”

and “The Boss.”


Out bodybuilder

and former

Colt supermodel

Bo Dixon releases

his first self-titled calendar, BO DIXON:

Reinvented 2010. Celebrating the power

of perseverance, this muscle-worship date

keeper features the hirsute powerhouse

in fourteen all-new

photos and comes

with a “making-of”




“Money can’t

buy you love, but

the rest is negotiable…”

That’s the

tagline of The

Working Men of


2010, the website’s


calendar honoring

its hottest porn

stars, escorts and

boyfriends for hire. This year’s eye candy

includes Nick Capra, Josh Hart, Arpad

Miklos and Tommy Defendi.



— Mikey Rox is an award-winning

journalist/writer and the principal of Paper

Rox Scissors, a copywriting and creative

consulting company in New York City.

Find him at www.paperroxscissors.com.

The Ultimate Guide Giveaway!

Visit www.q-notes.com to learn

how to become a fan of Paper Rox

Scissors and enter for your chance to

win a gift basket overflowing with

many of the items featured in Mikey

Rox’s The Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift

Giving. Prizes include a $50 gift card

from American Airlines, Three Olives

vodka, “I Love Jesus” briefs from Piss

& Vinegar, “Make the Yuletide Gay”

on DVD, Blomus Designs’ bar accessories

and much more!

Must be age 21 or older and have

a continental U.S. mailing address to

enter; see the Paper Rox Scissors fan

page on Facebook for additional

details. Contest ends Dec. 16.


Not for Reproduction



Office Space for Rent: 704.965.5214

144 sq. ft. to 288 sq. ft. • close to Uptown Charlotte

Clean, cool, comfortable


The Carolinas

Not for Reproduction

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 21

Not for Reproduction

Season’s Readings!

Somebody on your gift list has a sense

of humor. So wrap up “I Told You So” by

Kate Clinton, because you know it will be

a welcome present. This collection of

essays is one of those books that will make

your giftee call you to read passages

aloud. Better yet, just borrow it back in

the New Year.

If you know a child who loves dressup,

then pick up “10,000 Dresses” by

Marcus Ewert, illustrations by Rex Ray. In

this book, a little boy dreams of beautiful

dresses and even though Bailey feels like a

girl, everyone tells her otherwise. This

cute book is perfect for questioning kids

ages 4 to 7.

If you’re looking for something very

unique for someone on your gift list, look

for “In Jupiter’s Shadow” by Gregory

Gerard. This is a true story about secrets,

devoutness, and what happens when

someone pokes them both to learn more

about himself.

The music fan on your gift list will definitely

want to read “Deflowered: My Life

in Pansy Division” by Jon Ginoli. An inside

Gift ideas

for book lovers

story of the first openly gay pop-punk

band in America, it will appeal to anyone

who played air (or real) guitar. Hint: wrap

it up with a new CD or concert tickets.

Do you have a Drama Queen on your

gift list? If so, give him (or her) more

drama by wrapping up “The Collected

Plays of Mart Crowley.” This book contains

six complete plays, including “The Boys in

the Band” and it will make your theater

lover smile.

If your giftee loves a novel experience,

then be sure to give “Lois Lenz, Lesbian

Secretary” by Monica Nolan. This novel is,

well, it’s about a lesbian secretary and the

world of working women with passionate

desires. Do I need to say that it’s humorous?

Do I need to say that this is a book

you give, if nothing but for the hilarious

title and cool cover? More gifts to look for:

“Where the Girls Are”, edited by D.L. King,

(an anthology of lesbian erotica), and

“Verge” by Z Egloff (a quirky story of love,

bad decisions and filmmaking). ◗

read more: q-notes.com/qliving

— by Terri Schlichenmeyer

22 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

Not for Reproduction

General Gayety

by Leslie Robinson . Contributing Writer

Waiting on the outcome

My girlfriend Anne and I reached the point

in our relationship where we wanted to make

it official. Also, her employer wanted proof

that she and I are really a couple and she hadn’t

put me on her insurance because I looked


Here in the state of Washington, same-sex

marriage is illegal, so making it official means

domestic partnership. We filled out the requisite

forms and had them notarized. I deposited

the envelope with the documents into a


On Election Day. I don’t know if it was an

act of whimsy or masochism.

As you’ve likely heard, Washington was

voting on whether to expand the domestic

partnership law. Anne and I didn’t know, when

we submitted the papers, whether we would

be receiving some of the rights of domestic

partnership or all of them.

It was like buying a grab bag at the dollar


Anne goes crazy when she reads exactly

what I just wrote, that the vote was over

whether to expand the state’s domestic partnership

law. In fact, the legislature had

expanded the law earlier this year; scaredy-cat

religious conservatives responded by getting

Referendum 71 on the ballot, which asked voters

whether to approve or reject the legislature’s


There. I’ve explained that the referendum

was actually about taking away rights we’d

been given. Now Anne will be happy and there

will be peace in my domestically partnered


Washington got the domestic partnership

ball rolling in 2007, allowing same-sex couples

all of 23 rights and responsibilities. In

2008 the legislature added over 170 more. In

2009 it added about 285 rights and responsibilities,

bringing domestic partnership level

with marriage.

What a peculiar mixture of pride and

unease I felt dropping the partnership forms

in the mail. Would Anne

and I have the rights of

2008 or 2009? It wouldn’t

have surprised me if the

cast of “Rocky Horror,”

dressed in postal uniforms,

had jumped out

from behind the mailbox to do the “Time


Our ability to take care of each other was,

in doubt, thanks to a campaign led by a man

on his third marriage and another man with a

history of unpaid taxes who lives in Oregon.

Don’t beam me up, Scotty — beam them up


With our rights to be decided by the electorate,

all Anne and I could do was wait. And

wait some more, thanks to Washington’s mostly

mail-in ballot system. Finally, it became

clear that our side had won and Anne and I

were about to become industrial-strength

domestic partners.

In signing off on the “everything but marriage”

law, Washington voters became the first

in any state to approve a gay-rights ballot

measure. The evergreen trees in the Evergreen

State should stand a little taller today.

However, we were clearly a state divided.

Every county east of the Cascades rejected

expanding the law. In fact, only the counties

huddled around Puget Sound voted correctly.

Something in the water, indeed.

I don’t know precisely how I would’ve

reacted had the outcome been different. I’m

not the type to do an interpretive dance

around the Space Needle — more likely I’d

have spewed a colorful stream while walking

the dogs.

I’m filled with sympathy for Mainers devastated

by the vote on same-sex marriage in

their state. Like us, their state government had

passed a law and reactionary citizenry had

reacted with a ballot challenge. Unlike us,

they’d achieved the dizzying height of marriage,

so their fall was great.

California, Maine, Washington — each

granted rights, only to see some residents try

to snatch them back. With all this moving forward

and being yanked back, this phase of our

struggle calls for a neck brace. ◗

info: LesRobinsn@aol.com . www.GeneralGayety.com

Not for Reproduction

Not for Reproduction

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 23

Not for Reproduction

Tell Trinity

by Trinity . Contributing Writer

It’s time to meet your

lover’s parents

Hey Trinity,

I’m going with my boyfriend to meet his parents

for the first time. I’m nervous and in need of

some good advice.

Parent Fright, Savannah, Ga.

Hey Parent Fright,

It’s normal to be anxious when meeting

“the parents,” which is why you should prepare

yourself with positive affirmations and

smart strategies. Besides looking and acting

your best, be careful of the “Parent’s Truth

Serum.” It’s that one-too-many-friendly

cocktails or glasses of wine that loosen you

up to the point of no return. So, baby, don’t

be fooled or foolish by having more than

one or two drinks the entire night, otherwise

you might start revealing some of

those tattoo or drug-and-sex stories you

vowed never to mention!

Hello Trinity,

I’m getting divorced and have decided to sue.

I know you say,“Revenge is wrong and meaningless,”

but I’m torn between wiping my hands or

taking this to court? What’s your take?

Divorce Court, Palm Springs, Calif.

Dear Trinity,

I started dating someone who went online

and found out more about me than I knew

about myself. Now, I’m afraid I have nothing to

say that has intrigue or surprise. Am I

wrong to keep secrets from dates?

Secret Surprises, Ogunquit, ME

Dear Secret Surprises,

Secrets are typical and healthy.

Unless they’re endangering someone’s

life or health, then you must practice

integrity and start talking. But, as for carrier,

age, income and all those meaningless stereotypes

(except zodiac signs), I say you can wait

until your date becomes a more regular mate

before filling in all the blanks. Darling, when

practicing honesty, honestly be clever not


Hello Divorce Court,

If someone does you wrong, then, of

course, protect yourself and make him or her

pay for what belongs to you. But, sweetie,

meaningless acts of revenge only bring conflict

into everyone’s life. Think forgiveness and

Q - L I V I N G

moving on rather than bad karma and lawyers

fees! (The scales of justice abound in my cartoon,

along with some sage advice.)

Dearest Trinity,

I’m a gay high school student and still in the

closet at home. I’d like to tell my parents, but I’m

waiting until I go off to college. Is this how you

would do it?

Gay Youth, Sioux Falls, S.D.

Dearest Gay Youth,

While it’s important to be free with your

sexuality, it’s also important to be safe and

intelligent about coming out. Pumpkin, you’ll

be gay forever, so take your time reading:

Trinity’s Survival Tips

For Gay Youth

1. Not everyone loves or understands gay

people, so don’t waste your time worrying

about them. Surround yourself with people

who love you.

2. If coming out means physical or financial

harm,then wait,plan your strategy right,

not foolishly. Being smart is being a smart

gay youth.

3. Community is strength. Solitude is for

small pox victims. Join a gay youth organization…yesterday.

4. While gay life is not always easy, it can be

very exciting. Celebrate what’s good in your

life rather than harping on what’s bad.

5. Since you’re constantly learning, then constantly

learn that you cannot know it all.

Give everyone,including yourself,time to

understand your gay life.

6. Having lots of friends, going out a lot and

getting high lots doesn’t make you a better

person just a popular one. Be an individual.

7. Relationships and people constantly

evolve and do not always end up as they

originally promised. Find strength in your


8. Don’t be a theater snob, a fashion snob, a

drunken slob or a pretensions queen.

Accept everyone for what they are, including


9.You’ll change many times throughout life

and fit into many different subcultures of

gay life. Be open to change and growth.

10. Lastly, being gay is a gift, a blessing and a

miracle. Not everyone is worthy of such a

unique journey. Keep reminding yourself

that you are a gift. ◗

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity

was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly

radio drama, and now performs globally.

info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com

Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307

Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild

800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org

For up-to-date coverage visit: www.q-notes.com

the Carolinas’ LGBT news source. in print. online.

24 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

Not for Reproduction

Not for Reproduction

Out in the Stars

by Charlene Lichtenstein . Contributing Writer

Nov. 28-Dec. 13

Has the sagging economy taken the wind out of

our holiday celebrations? No! But all this

Capricorn energy — Pluto, Mercury and soon-toenter

Sun and Venus — might cause us to become

more serious and cautious. You may water the

eggnog, but don’t scrimp on the gifts! Ho duh oh.

SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Have you been

naughty or nice? Have you been a spender or a

saver? This December, you may find that the

temptation to amass the perfect (expensive) gifts

may become too great. Gay Archers want to stuff

their stockings to the brim. But Santa has other

plans. There are many ways to enjoy your time

that needn’t cost a fortune. Let me know when

you think of some.

CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) First impressions

are lasting impressions this December. Circumstances

conspire to make you the center of attention.

Make good use of your time in the center stage.Pink

Caps find that they can launch new projects, as well

as meet,greet and charm anyone they decide to razzle

dazzle.So,don’t sit home and wait for a knock on

the door.Venture forth with a few gifts.

AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19)You have a few tricks

up your sleeve and good thing too. Things were

getting too routine and boring. This is the time to

spike the eggnog. Use your intuition and see if

you can discern the motivations of others. In

solving some behind-the-scene plots, you will be

able to avoid those folks who are trying to undermine

you. Be cool, calm, collected and successful.

PISCES (02.20-03.20) Think of ways to gather

friends together this December. Opportunities

abound for a variety of pleasurable but platonic pastimes.

Consider joining some new clubs or dancing

in some new holiday parties.The folks you meet now

spark your imagination and can benefit you in the

future. Guppies are people who need people. Just

don’t get too needy.

ARIES (03.21-04.20) Don’t be surprised if you

begin to feel like Bob Cratchet, laboring under the

watchful eyes of boss Scrooge.Work seems to pile

up and up. But, you will find that what transpires

will make you more practical and, ultimately,

more successful. Hopefully, that will be enough to

make you feel better as you nurse your hot toddie

by the xerox machine.

TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Queer Bulls embark on

global enterprises that will bring them status,

money and, perhaps, even a little happiness. You

have the opportunity to make huge strides in the

world arena. Don’t sit at home and wait for Santa

to arrive. See if you can make your mark on the

world stage and meet new, exotic people who will

help you in your ascent. Pack the mistletoe. You

never know…

GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Even pink Twins need a

little cuddle now and then. December brings you

more than just a warm handshake or a chaste sit

down on Santa’s lap.You are sexy and very willing

to spread your special oil around. This will wind

up working well for

you as the month

progresses. You will

have your choice of

New Year’s dates. Will it result in more New Year’s


CANCER (06.22-07.23) Gay Crabs yearn for the

perfect relationship and may be able to craft one this

December. Those currently in a relationship can

smooth out the rough edges.Those seeking connection

will feel a spark as they move their way through

the social circuit. See how your special someone

reacts. If the feeling is mutual, find ways to lift the

happiness and reduce the stress. Get creative.

LEO (07.24-08.23) You have a lot on your holiday

plate. So much so we should begin to call it a

platter. How much can you handle and still keep

Q - L I V I N G

up your high quality? Give yourself a short break,

proud Lion, and see if you can prioritize and possibly

delegate. Once you can focus, there is nothing

that you can’t achieve. No matter how lofty,

silly or impossible it may first appear.

VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Queer Virgins become the

life of the party and the sooner the better.You were

beginning to sound humbuggy. Put on your holiday

hat and dance with the crowd.Not only do you

have fun despite yourself, you increase your energy

level, possibly plug into a little romance and

increase your overall luck. Turn that frown into a

smile. Folks will wonder what you are really up to.

LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Find unique and delightful

ways to entertain at home. Proud Libras have a

flair for creating the ultimate holiday celebration

and can do so with ease. Gather kindred souls

together and create a warm and conducive

atmosphere. There is plenty of time to travel far

and wide early next year. For now, hang your

Christmas balls and wait for Santa.

SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) December is a time

when you can easily focus on any next steps in your

life. Change is afoot, so don’t trip out of the starting

gate.The most important thing to remember is that

careful planning is essential. Queer Scorps have a

few things on their mind and are ready to voice

their opinion. And, why not? You are on the mark

and ready to make a point. Tell it to the elves! ◗

© 2009 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment.

info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for e-greetings,

horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide

To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is

available at bookstores and major booksites.

Do you have news items

about your organization

you wish to share with

the community?

Submit your copy and/or photos

to editor@q-notes.com.

For up-to-date coverage visit:


the Carolinas’ multimedia LGBT news source

Not for Reproduction

NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 25

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Q - L I V I N G

26 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

Not for Reproduction

Out and About . compiled by Q-Notes staff

Dec. 1 • Charlotte

AIDS names reading

Join the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) for

a memorial reading of HIV/AIDS victims names at

Charlotte’s Independence Square, corner of Trade and

Tryon St. Noon. Free. www.carolinarain.org.

Dec. 1 • Charlotte

Red Pump AIDS Gala

The Red Pump/Red Tie Affair is a benefit for The Red

Pump Project (RPP), a national initiative to raise

awareness about the impact of HIV/AIDS on women

and girls, ensuring that women are empowered with

accurate knowledge about HIV/AIDS and the issues

surrounding it. The Palmer Building, 2601 East

Seventh St., 6 p.m.-9 p.m. $25-$50. Sales end Nov. 30

at theredpumpaffair2009.eventbrite.com.

Dec. 1 • Asheville

AIDS Day Vigil

The Western North Carolina AIDS Project (WNCAP)

hosts a special World AIDS Day Vigil. Pack Place,

Lower Promenade, 2 S. Pack Square. 7 p.m.


Dec. 2 • Columbia

‘Rent,’ Pride style

Be one of the first to see the show everyone in

Columbia is talking about. SC Pride and Trustus

Theatre present a special performance of the hit

Broadway musical “Rent,” two days before the production’s

opening day! The special performance preparty,“Bohemian

Silent Auction” and stage production

will be the last major event for SC Pride in 2009.

Trustus Theatre, 520 Lady St. Pre-party, 6:30 p.m.

Curtain, 7:30 p.m. $40, in advance at shop.scpride.org.

Dec. 3 • Greensboro

Holiday social

Join Gay-Straight Advocates for Education (GSAFE)

for their annual holiday social. More details to be

announced at www.gsafe.org.

Dec. 4-5 • Charlotte

Sleigh Bells

One Voice Chorus present their holiday concert,

“Sleigh Bells.” Hop aboard Santa’s sleigh for a musical

ride through holiday songs from near and far.

Reception immediate following. Unitarian Universalist

Church of Charlotte, 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd. Dec. 4,

7:30 p.m., $20. Dec. 5 matinee, 2 p.m., $15. Tickets

available at Paper Skyscraper, White Rabbit, any One

Voice member or www.onevoicechorus.com.

Dec. 4-6 • Charlotte

Magic of Christmas

Don’t miss an all new Magic of Christmas as the

Symphony’s favorite pops conductor, Albert-George

Schram, leads this yuletide treat for the first time!

With the Oratorio Singers and a host of special guests,

Magic of Christmas is a Charlotte holiday tradition.

Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.Various times. $20-$77.


Dec. 5 • Charlotte

AIDS Day forum

The Charlotte Teens Taking Action Peer Education

Program presents the “Respect Yourself Protect

Yourself: A World AIDS Day Forum.” Panel discussion

will explore the reality of HIV in Charlotte. Also

includes entertainment from local area youth, free

food and free HIV testing. Holy Trinity Lutheran

Church, 1900 The Plaza. 1 p.m. Free. For more information

contact Kimberly Gaither at 704-569-9870,

ext. 6543.

Dec. 5 • Greensboro

Oh, My Stars!

Voted Best Choral Group of 2009 by Go Triad readers,

the Triad Pride Men’s Chorus presents their annual

holiday concert, an evening of “star” inspired music.

Greensboro Day School, 5401 Lawndale Dr. 8 p.m.

$15. www.triadpridemenschorus.org.

Dec. 6 • Durham

Velvet Ribbons

The Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus presents “Velvet

Ribbons,” a warm mix of multicultural holiday music

with a Southwestern twist. First Presbyterian Church,

305 East Main St. 3 p.m. General admission:

$12/advance, $15/door. Student admission: $6/advance,

$10/door. Tickets available at tickets.tgmchorus.org.

Dec. 6 • Greensboro

Walk for AIDS

Triad Health Project hosts its 18th annual Winter

Walk for AIDS, a three-mile walk raising money and

awareness to benefit Triad Health Project and those

affected by HIV/AIDS in Greensboro and surrounding

areas. Learn more, contribute and sign up your walking

teams at www.triadhealthproject.com.

Dec. 6 • Hickory

Winter Gala

ALFA hosts its 12th annual Winter Gala to raise funds

for the organization and the thousands it serves

affected by HIV and AIDS. The evening features a four

course meal with wine pairings prepared by Youssef

Executive Chef Andre Roth.Youssef 242, 242 11th Ave.

NE. 6 p.m. Reserved seating with $100 minimum

donation. For more information about the Gala call

828-322-1447, ext. 224 or visit www.alfainfo.org.

Dec. 11-13 • Charlotte


Jean-Pierre Bonnefoux’s classic holiday favorite takes

audiences on an adventure. The journey begins at a

cheerful holiday party, where the mysterious Herr

Drosselmeyer entertains the guests and presents

young Clara with an extraordinary Nutcracker doll.

With Clara and her Nutcracker Prince as their tour

guides, audiences travel to the glittering Land of Snow

and the majestic Land of Sweets. North Carolina

Dance Theatre presents. Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.

Various times. $20-$74. www.ncdance.org.

Dec. 12 • Raleigh

Velvet Ribbons

See Dec. 6 for description, ticket information.

Fellowship Hall, 3313 Wade Ave. 8 p.m.

Dec. 12 • Wilmington

Global Groove

Ibiza Nightclub hosts DJ David Knapp’s “Global

Groove: Dance 2” release party. Gift bags valued at

over $100 in travel, music and more will be distributed

to those in attendance for those who bring two

canned goods for donation to the local food bank.

Ibiza Nightclub, 118 Market St.

www.centaurmusic.com. www.ibizawilmington.com.

Dec. 12 • Winston-Salem

Make the Yuletide Gay

OUT at the Movies, Winston-Salem presents a showing

of “Make the Yuletide Gay.” Olaf “Gunn”

Gunnunderson (Keith Jordan), who is out and proud

at college, crawls back into the closet to survive the

holidays with his family. He keeps his cool as his

quirky parents attempt to set him up with his high

school girlfriend, portrayed by Alison Arngrim,

“Nellie” of “Little House on the Prairie.”When his

boyfriend, Nathan (Adamo Ruggiero), shows up unexpectedly,

Gunn must put on a charade to keep the

relationship a secret. With pressure mounting from all

sides, will Gunn come out before the truth does?

UNC-School of the Arts, ACE Theatre Complex, 1533

S. Main St. 6 p.m. $5 at the door.

OUTattheMovies@triad.rr.com. 336-918-0902.

Dec. 12 • Winston-Salem

Oh, My Stars!

See Dec. 5 for description. UNC-School of the Arts

Watson Chamber Music Hall, 1533 S. Main St. 8 p.m.

$15. www.triadpridemenschorus.org.

Dec. 18-20 • Charlotte


See description, Dec. 11-13. North Carolina Dance

Theatre presents. Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.

Various times. $20-$74. www.ncdance.org. ◗

info: Announce your community event in Out & About.

Email outandabout@q-notes.com or submit via our

event form at q-notes.com/qguide/events/submit.

See more events and news in our Carolinas News Notes

section on page 8.

Drag Rag

by Miss Della . Contributing Writer

‘Dreams do come true, it can happen to you…’

Hello fans and freaks, welcome back to the

column where a crown (or a good show) is as

good as gold!

I’m so excited to be writing this particular

Rag as we’ll be talking about a good friend of

mine who has recently realized a dream and

become your new Miss Gay America. I’m talking

about my baby, Alyssa Edwards, of course.

I talked to that sister the day following the

crowning. She was still in disbelief (but, the

crown was on the dresser, so it did happen,

gal!) Alyssa became the first national titleholder

from another system to win Miss

America second. I’m gonna let you think

about that one for a minute, but yes, the win

was historic in that respect. Her runners-up

included Coco Montrese, Jessica Jade, Sally

Sparkles and the big and beautiful (and painted

for the cheap seats) Kristina Kelly. Other

finalists included China Collins, Monica Mohr,

Tajma Stetson, Symphony Alexander Love and

Miss Mid-East Tatiyana Voché.

In other national news, I do hope I mentioned

in the last Rag that the gang at Scorpio

has purchased a regional prelim to Miss Gay

U.S.ofA. to be held the evening before my birthday

(Thursday, Dec. 17). Please, come out and

join me as I welcome our reigning national goddess,

Stasha Sanchez of Atlanta, as she graces

the stage that many of her predecessors have in

the past. Recent qualifiers to the Memorial Day

duke-it-out include the new Miss Great Plains

Anjila Cavalier and Miss Wisconsin Jackie

Roberts. I believe on that same

night, Christina Chase won Miss Wisconsin

Classic and her RU was Mabel Kane.

Brooke Divine, our Miss NC U.S.ofA., has

been burning the road up to her prelims and

other bookings, including Miss Buncombe

County at Club Hairspray in Asheville, which

Ashley Michaels promotes.Vivica Dupree won

this one and her RU was Briana Love

Michaels. My little sis, Brandonna Dupree,

held her prelim to Miss NC — Miss Queen

City — at Hairspray which Tyra Couture won

and her RU was Eureka O’Hara from Johnson

City, TN. Imagine the fun I had recently when

I went to do dinner with Brooke and

Brandonna, then tagged along as they had

their nails done. The ladies early-gifted me

that evening with a long dress and purse to

match as we make our plans to terrorize the

straight Latino clubs on the evening of my

birthday. Someone call Disco Rodeo or Club

Kalipzo and tell them to beware of the biggun’

in the zebra print! LOL!

They’ve had so many contests recently at

Warehouse 29 in Greensboro, like Miss and

Mr. Warehouse, which Shirli Stevenz and

Amari Knight Addams won. Their RUs were

Arione DeCardeza and Taylor Knight

Addams, respectively. Also, let’s not forget the

15th annual Miss Warehouse Witch contest,

which Macaria Rage won with RU Envee. I

know a lot of their formers usually come out

to support this creative spin on pageantry. I

Not for Reproduction

wonder if “The Oyl” was in the house? The

Warehouse was also just host for the newest

state-level contest called the Queen of Clubs.

That gorgeous Diamond served as the

Emeritus and relinquished the crown. The

winner was Versage (Diamond’s NC U.S.ofA.

sister) and her RUs were Big Shirli and

Crystal Froste. There were a total of eight contestants

that night.

Elsewhere on the local scene, Amaya

recently won Miss Carolina Southern Elegance

at Large (which Cierra Nichole gave up). Her

RUs were Dy’mond Cartier and Jazmun

Tomas. Cierra had also just given up Miss

Hickory Unlimited and crowned Ashley


Photo Credit: Nicole Olver, neamattphotography.com.

Michaels. Her RU was Brandi Andrews.

Finally, after losing my notes and rounding

up the results again, hats off to Starla DaVinci

who recently won Miss Hide-A-Way in Rock

Hill. Her RUs were Jessica Reins Starr and

Tracey Stephens. Speaking of the Hide-A-Way,

they have a new sister bar in Fort Mill now

called the Rainbow In. My sis Carmendy

Sinclair worked there not too long ago and

tells me it is adorable. Carmendy keeps

reminding me I need to get out to Petra’s to

see Roxy’s early Sunday evening show as well.

Sorry I missed your most recent appearance

there, girlfriend! ◗

info: Drop me a line, OK? . TheTeaMissD@yahoo.com

On Nov. 20, 40 Charlotte area transgender

and transgender ally community members

gathered at the Lesbian & Gay Community

Center for a somber night of remembrance.

After remarks from area leaders, the group

held a candlelight vigil for victims of antitransgender

violence this year.

The International Transgender Day of

Remembrance is held annually.

For more on this event, read our special

online feature at www.q-notes.com. ◗

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NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes 27

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28 NOVEMBER 28 . 2009 • QNotes

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