divine-mercy-in-my-soul

amazement before the mystery of divine mercy, but cannot comprehend it. Everything
that has come from the Creator‟s hand is contained in this inconceivable mystery; that is
to say, in the very depths of His tender mercy. When I meditate on this, my spirit
swoons, and my heart dissolves in joy. O Jesus, it is through Your most compassionate
Heart, as through a crystal, (132) that the rays of divine mercy have come to us.
1554 February 1, [1938]. Today I am feeling a little worse, physically, but I am still taking part
in the common life [prayers, meals, and recreation]. I am making great efforts, known to
You alone, Jesus. In the refectory today, I did not think I would last until the end of the
meal. Every mouthful causes me extreme pain.
1555 When Mother S. [Irene] visited me a week ago, she said, “You catch every sickness,
Sister, because your system is so weak, but that is not your fault. In fact, if any other
sister had that same sickness, she would certainly be walking around; whereas you,
Sister, must stay in bed!!” These words did not hurt me, but it is better not to make such
comparisons with very sick persons, because their cup is full enough as it is. Another
thing: when sisters visit the sick, they should not ask in detail every time, “What is
hurting you, (133) and how does it hurt?” because it is very tiresome to keep telling
each sister the same thing about oneself. And it sometimes happens that one must
repeat the same thing over and over many times a day.
1556 When I had gone to the chapel for a moment, the Lord gave me to know that, among
His chosen ones, there are some who are especially chosen, and whom He calls to a
higher form of holiness, to exceptional union with Him. These are seraphic souls, from
whom God demands greater love than He does from others. Although all live in the
same convent, yet He sometimes demands of a particular soul a greater degree of love.
Such a soul understands this call, because God makes this known to it interiorly, but the
soul may either follow this call or not. It depends on the soul itself whether it is faithful
to these touches of the Holy Spirit, or whether it resists them. I have learned that there
is a place in purgatory where souls will pay their debt to God for such transgressions;
this kind of torment is the most difficult of all. The soul which is especially marked by
God (134) will be distinguished everywhere, whether in heaven or in purgatory or in hell.
In heaven, it will be distinguished from other souls by greater glory and radiance and
deeper knowledge of God. In purgatory, by greater pain, because it knows God more
profoundly and desires Him more vehemently. In hell, it will suffer more profoundly than
other souls, because it knows more fully whom it has lost. This indelible mark of God‟s
exclusive love, in the [soul], will not be obliterated.
1557 O Jesus, keep me in holy fear, so that I may not waste graces. Help me to be faithful to
the inspirations of the Holy Spirit. Grant that my heart may burst for love of You, rather
than I should neglect even one act of love for You.
1558 February 2, [1938]. Darkness of the soul. Today is the Feast of the Mother of God, and
in my soul it is so dark. The Lord has hidden Himself, and I am alone, all alone. My
mind has become so dimmed that I see only phantasms about me. Not a single ray of
light penetrates my soul. I do not understand myself or those who speak to me.
Frightful temptations (135) regarding the holy faith assail me. O my Jesus, save me. I
cannot say anything more. I cannot describe these things in detail, for I fear lest
someone be scandalized on reading this. I am astounded that such torments could
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