Aging Outreach Services
Vol. 3 Issue 5
Navigating all your aging needs
Down home with
Mary Kay Andrews
O R T H O P E D I C S
In 1895, before it became known
for world-class golf, the Village
of Pinehurst was developed as a
health resort. That legacy continues
and today, thousands of golfers also
Joint Replacement Patient
know Pinehurst for world-class
orthopedic and joint
or to schedule a
consultation for world-class
care, call 800-213-3284.
155 Memorial Drive • Pinehurst, NC
10 First Village Drive • Pinehurst, NC
OutreachNC • May 2012 3
M A k e Y ou R S e L f AT HoM e on M AY 3.
At Penick Village, you’re welcome anytime, especially on May 3 at 10:30 am.
Join us for lunch at one of our new cottages and a great walking tour
of our wonderful neighborhood. You’ll also have a chance to visit our new
Village House community center, and meet some residents along the
way. Leave costly home and yard maintenance behind, and replace them
with a carefree, independent lifestyle. To RSVP, please call us today
at (910) 692-0386 or (910) 692-0382. Visit us at www.penickvillage.org.
V I L L A G E
500 east Rhode Island Avenue | Southern Pines, nC 28387 | (866) 545-1018 toll-free
VoL. 3 Issue 4
Aging Outreach Services
4 OutreachNC • May 2012
OutreachNC • May 2012
May and the early signs of
summer are here. This month,
we offer stories of inspiration,
each like a single flower within a blooming
bouquet perfect for Mother’s Day and
We go aboard the USS North Carolina
in Wilmington, seen above, to witness
a marriage vow renewal ceremony.
This special event wrapped up the 70th
anniversary celebration of the USO of
We also meet one courageous Marine,
who lived to tell his story of the Battle of
Iwo Jima in 1945 and ventured back to
the site earlier this year with a little help
from his friends.
Joining the Peace Corps may seem like
something to do when you’re young, but
we’ll learn how one mom had the urge
to follow in her daughter’s footsteps and
joined as a retiree.
With inspiration all around us, one
grateful granddaughter shares a moving
tribute to her gardening grandmother.
Growing things is truly a family affair
at Gross Farms, and we learn about
From the Editor
Photo by John Gessner
the five-generation farm focusing on the
bountiful strawberry crop in honor of
National Strawberry Month, leaving you
seeing fields of red.
And speaking of red, we share a
Carolina Conversation with N.C. State
University Athletic Director Debbie Yow,
who is continuing a family legacy, living
out her own dreams and inspiring young
athletes in the process.
Completing this editorial bouquet is our
cover story featuring New York Times®
bestselling author Mary Kay Andrews.
Her new novel, “Spring Fever,” is a perfect
way to kick off your summer reading. We
go beyond the book jacket to learn about
the personal side of the author, who
set her new book in North Carolina and
brings her Southern characters to life
for readers. We also share an excerpt
of “Spring Fever,” which doesn’t hit
bookstores or e-readers until June 5.
And last, but certainly not least, if you
are a fan of social media, please “Like”
us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter,
@OutreachNC, for sneak peeks and prize
gieaways. Until next month...
Aging Outreach Services
Navigating all your aging needs
PO Box 2478
676 NW Broad Street
Southern Pines, NC 28388
(910) 692-9609 Office
(910) 695-0766 Fax
PO Box 2019
101-A Brady Court
Cary, NC 27512
(919) 909-2693 Office
(919) 535-8719 Fax
Follow us on Twitter
OutreachNC is a publication
of Aging Outreach Services, Inc.
Marketing & Public Relations
The entire contents of OutreachNC are
copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services.
Reproduction or use, without permission,
of editorial, photographic or graphic
content in any manner is prohibited.
OutreachNC is published monthly
on the first of each month.
Navigating all your aging needs
MIX 101.5’s Bill Jordan
Navigating all your aging needs
ZIP PHONE #
A great spring read all year long...
Mail check to:
Aging Outreach Services
PO Box 2478
Southern Pines, NC 28388
Inside this issue
OutreachNC • May 2012 5
Ask the Expert.......................6
by Celia Rivenbark................7
Continuum of Care..............9
Grey Matter Games.............34
Mary Kay Andrews
Over My Shoulder................50
Iwo Jima Marine
Mom & Daughter
Peace Corps volunteers
Senior Shorts Guest Writer
Mary Kay Andrews, excerpt
from “Spring Fever”
“Spring Fever” Book Review
Spirituality & Aging............27
Cover Photography by Sara Speert Photography ©2012, saraphotography.com
6 OutreachNC • May 2012
Q: Over the past
year I have noticed
that my husband’s
appetite has decreased quite
a bit. He is 86 years old and
has experienced a decline in
his overall health. He gets
around the house fairly well
but does not have much
interest in going out. He has
lost about 15 pounds, and I
am concerned that this will
cause a further decline in his
health. What can I do?
A: Weight loss should not be considered a
normal part of the aging process. There are
many possible causes for a decreased appetite,
particularly as a person ages. Loss of appetite and
weight can be indicators of a more serious health
concern and should always be addressed and discussed
with a physician. That said, we can talk about some of
the possible reasons and things that you might be able
to try at home to increase his appetite.
Consider that food and eating are often a social
activity as much as it is for nutrition. As one’s social
activities decline, so does a person’s appetite and overall
interest in food. When the days of business dinners,
cocktail parties and the kids around the table become
fewer, meal time often just is not as exciting. Cooking
for one or two seems more difficult, and people tend
to get into routines of smaller meals. In addition to
social changes, loss of appetite can be an indicator
of depression, loneliness, chronic disease, dementia,
dental problems and increased pain.
Poor appetite has also been linked to a slowing
metabolism, side effects of certain medications and
Ask the Expert
will answer any
you might have.
Fax your questions
to (910) 695-0766 or
e-mail them to
Amy Natt, MS, CCM
Geriatric Care Manager
Changes in sight, smell and
taste can also diminish the
pleasure of eating. Food
becomes less enjoyable and
eating may become a chore.
Start with a full medical
and dental evaluation. At
home, you can try adding
some additional flavor to
foods. Cooking at home can
also circulate aromas that
stimulate appetite. There are
several nutritional shakes that
can be consumed between meals or after dinner. I always
like them really cold. You can mix them with ice cream
to pack on some calories with the nutrition. Review
possible medication side effects, and consider a multivitamin.
Make sure he is getting plenty of water, and
encourage some type of physical exercise. If boredom is
a problem, try looking up new recipes online. Increase
social meal opportunities if possible.
Make a list of concerns to discuss with your physician.
Keep a daily journal to record patterns that may be
helpful in identifying what additional issues your
husband may be dealing with. If it is determined to be
a medical or mental health issue, ask your practitioner
about medications that may help to stimulate appetite.
Nutrition is very important, but balance that with the
foods your husband seems to enjoy and will eat.
My final advice would be that while you are focused
on helping your husband, remember taking care of
yourself is of equal importance. If you find yourself in the
role of caregiver, you will need every ounce of strength
and energy to maintain this very important role.
Natt, a geriatric care manager with AOS Care Management,
can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
AUDIOLOGY of the SANDHILLS
Belinda Bryant, Vallie Goins,
Kate Tuomala, and Ruth Jones
PHONE (910) 692-6422
1902-K N. Sandhills Blvd., Hwy. #1 • Longleaf Medical Center • Aberdeen NC 28315
Gulley’s Garden Center
•Annuals •Perennials •Shrubs •Trees •Garden Supplies
Knowledgeable Staff to answer your gardening questions
Military Museum & Antique Store onsite
Come see us for a unique shopping experience!
445 SE Broad St
SouthErn PinES 910.692.3223
open Year round
Mon-Fri 9-5 •Sat 9-4
OutreachNC • May 2012 7
Fare thee well, Britannica
was sad to read last week that
Encyclopedia Britannica is
going digital and no longer will
be printed. The weighty leather bound
volumes adorned the bookcases of
encyclopedia snobs who thought
of World Book as something of a
country cousin. It should come as
then, that I
grew up with
Not only did
we own a set
but also my
Belle Weather t h e m ,
d o o r ,
that’s what teachers did during the
summer months back in the day.
The commission wasn’t much
but salesmen did get a free set of
encyclopedias and my Dad even
built a bookcase just big enough to
hold the cream-colored leatherette
volumes with green and gold trim.
I would spend hours reading World
Book, absolutely blown away by the
H volume whose human body entry
contained transparent pages that
allowed you to overlay heart and
spleen and so forth until the last
page was a complete Technicolor
picture of human insides.
Or, as Encyclopedia Britannica
might call them, innards, if you will.
I always pictured the Britannica
being the encyclopedia of the
privileged. If it could swirl brandy in a
snifter, wear an ascot and talk about
foreign films, well, it would.
Britannica was foie gras and World
Book was jerky. (Carrying the meat
metaphor further, Funk & Wagnalls,
then, was potted meat, I suppose.)
World Book used a lot fewer words
than Britannica to describe popular
fifth-grade term paper topics like
Ecuador or Pellagra. If the teacher
asked us to walk on the wild side and
use the Britannica (available in the
school library and, I think, the town
doctor’s house), we would groan.
Encyclopedia Britannica reminded
me of that person who you ask what
time is it and they tell you how to
build a watch.
In the days before reality TV,
the Britannica was as close as we
ever got to TMI. I only needed to
know about the favorite foods of the
Ecuadoreans. I didn’t need to know
about the average temperature of
waters surrounding the Galapagos
For many years, I would regress
into insecure country mouse mode
whenever I was invited to someone’s
home and I saw those big, brown
Britannicas on display. These people
probably had an in-ground pool, not
to mention a sound knowledge of
According to USA Today, when
Encyclopedia Britannica was first
published in 1768, it caused quite
a stir. King George III, upset by
the pictures of fetuses and female
pelvises in a section on midwifery,
demanded that they be torn out of all
Crazy ol’ fool. You’d think that
anybody who had 15 children
wouldn’t be such a priss pot over a
few pictures of genitalia.
A spokesman for the company said
that there are no plans for the digital
Britannica to be made available for
free. Of course not. That would be,
Rivenbark is the author of the New
York Times best-seller, “You Don’t
Sweat Much for a Fat Girl.” Visit
© 2012, Celia Rivenbark, Distributed
by MCT Information Services
8 OutreachNC • May 2012
This year marks the 20th anniversary for The
Center for Volunteer Caregiving. For 20 years,
this independent nonprofit has been serving
the needs of Wake County seniors, family caregivers and
adults with disabilities allowing them to remain at home
with independence and dignity.
By 2014 according to the Wake County Aging Plan,
200,000 people over the age of 65 are expected to live in
the county. With the trend toward two income families
and fewer children available to assist older family
members, informal caregiving is more challenging and
stressful than in years before. The need to provide
assistance that allows for access to health care and basic
needs for people to remain at home as long as possible
is now more important than ever.
The Center relies on volunteers to provide services
that are not just supporting seniors and adults with
disabilities but also families, who in most cases have
run out of options. The Center has a waitlist of 130+
seniors and adults with disabilities, ages ranging from
34 to 100, and all having different needs. Volunteering
helps The Center try to meet those needs. Services are
provided through three programs:
Escorted Door-through-Door Transportation:
1 Transportation is the most often cited unmet
need. The Center’s program provides services for nonurgent
and grocery shopping as seen
below.. In 2010, volunteers
provided 3,758 rides. Eightyseven
percent of the seniors
served reported having a
better sense of well being
because of receiving rides Volunteering
from The Center. Without
could not keep medical
The Center’s Caregiver Support Program
2 provides respite or “time off” for primary
caregivers, who often dedicate all of their energy to
meeting the needs of a loved one while ignoring their
own, which can jeopardize their physical and emotional
health. More than half of family caregivers report they
do not have time to take care of themselves. A respite
volunteer allows family caregivers to get the care they
need to stay healthy both physically and emotionally.
The In-Home Connections Program seeks to
Lending helping hand easy as 1, 2, 3
alleviate social isolation and depression that often
accompanies the physical and emotional challenges
facing older adults and adults with disabilities who are
homebound. Volunteers provide friendly visits in person
or over the telephone. Researchers realized 20 years ago
that social isolation is not just bad for a person but can
actually shorten their life span. Since then, there’s been a
steady stream of research pointing in the same direction.
Yet loneliness is not treated as a serious health risk.
A social worker at Rex Home Health Services says, “One
visit per week from a volunteer caregiver can prevent an
elderly person from having to move out of their home.”
The Center offers chore services, which includes light
housekeeping, yard work and shopping and are focused
on maintaining a safe and healthy environment in
addition to social contact.
The Center for Volunteer Caregiving has many
wonderful stories to share. Visit the center’s web site,
www.volunteercaregiving.org, to learn about how to
Blankfard, PHR, services coordinator at The Center for
Volunteer Caregiving in Cary, can be reached at (919) 460-0567
Plan ahead and utilize available resources
In this region
health care, medical
facilities and top-notch
specific knowledge on
any diagnosis One may
receive. Take advantage of these professionals. Use
the resources in your community, and lay out a plan
for the future.
As we age, we begin
to realize that we need
or will one day need
care from someone else.
Right now, you might be
providing care, and the
next day you may be
receiving. Not everyone
dreams of residing in
senior living housing or
a facility setting, and no
one dreams of being
In a senior living
environment such as
assisted living, residents
can enjoy the company
of others while caregivers
are busy making them
about cooking meals
and washing clothes
disappear, or if you can
get those socks on, help
is close by.
Map out a Plan A,
B and even C. I have
met so many wonderful
couples, widows and
even caregiving adult
children of parents, who
never planned for a B
or C. During your next
family get-together, have
a conversation about
your care options and
what you would like to
OutreachNC • May 2012 9
see in your future. Schedule visits to senior living
facilities in the area, and talk about what you like and
what you don’t. You have
the right to make these
choices now to make a
difference in your future.
director at Fox Hollow Senior
Living, can be reached at
Drop off your tax deductible
reusable material donations at a Habitat for Humanity
ReStore and help support affordable housing for families in
If your donations are too large for your vehicle, ask about
Habitat’s free pick up service.
For donation criteria, or to learn more about Habitat’s
FREE pick up service, call the ReStore in your county or
Moore County: 2268 NC 5 Highway, Aberdeen 910.295.2798
Scotland County: 12340 McColl Rd., Laurinburg, 910.276.3395
Wake County: 2420 Raleigh Blvd., Raleigh, 919.744.2420
Wake County: 181 High House Rd., Cary, 919.744.2420
Continuum of Care
10 OutreachNC • May 2012
Seven retirement planning tips for women
Preparing for retirement isn’t just about saving
more money. It’s also about preparing for what
your potential needs will be and crafting a
successful financial plan to help you get there. This
concept is true for everyone, but especially true for
women. Here are a few reasons why.
On average, women spend fewer years employed
than men. This is usually due to their roles in parenting
young children and later in life, becoming a caregiver
to aging parents. This results in three adverse
consequences. They earn less income; subsequently
contribute less to their own Social Security, and with
limited work hours or no employment at all, there
is less opportunity to contribute to an employersponsored
Even during the working years, women continue
to earn less than men. In 2008, the Bureau of Labor
Statistics reported women’s median weekly earnings
were only 79.9 percent of men’s.
Statistically, women also live longer than men. A
woman turning age 65 today can expect to live to age
85. But one out of every four 65-year-olds will live
past age 90, and one out of every 10 will live past age
95 (Source: Social Security Administration). This means
one out of every 10 of us will experience a 30-year
To plan for a successful retirement, here a few factors
women should consider:
Save More. We should think about financial
1 matters from a long-term perspective. Many
much they will need
you may live
longer than you
expect. Planning for
an “average life span”
means that half of the
people will live longer.
Women run a higher
risk of outliving their
what your sources
of income will be. Social
Security savings and
qualified and non-qualified
investment accounts have
different distribution and
distributions from each
type of account may
warrant different tax
Learn how to manage your retirement
savings plan at work. Due to the growth of
retirement savings plans such as the 401(k), individual
employees are often responsible for managing their
own investments. Many employees need to become
familiar with their retirement plan options, considering
their own risk-tolerance when making asset allocation,
diversification and investment choice decisions.
Seek advice. You don’t have to go it alone.
A qualified financial professional can provide
insight, operate from experience, and explain risks and
options. It’s acceptable to get a second opinion.
Face the facts about long-term care. Many people
underestimate the chance of needing long-term
care. Few people own long-term care insurance and
even less can afford to self-insure a long-term care
event. There are newer products on the market to help
defer this huge financial risk.
Consider the impact of inflation. Inflation affects
the purchasing power of most all goods and
services. As inflation goes up, each dollar buys less.
An average rate of inflation of 3 to 4 percent annually
might seem small but would cause the price of goods
and services to double every 20 years.
Women need to prepare for their special needs
during retirement. Educating oneself on personal
financial and investment matters should become a
priority throughout a lifetime to ensure a financially
Donner, CRPC®, Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor.,
can be reached at (919) 424-4650 or email@example.com.
Investment Advisor Representative offering Securities and Investment
Advisory Services offered through Financial Network Investment
Corporation, member SIPC. Adams Financial Partners, Inc. and Financial
Network are not affiliated. Please consult with a tax attorney or advisor for
more information regarding your tax situation.
Branch Address: 2000 CentreGreen Way, Suite 150, Cary, NC 27513
Creative Retirement OutreachNC • May 2012 11
OutreachNC • May 2012 11
Personal care and home aid partnership with St. Joseph’s
Jenny Troyer, coordinator for the Human
Resources Development (HRD) at Sandhills
Community College (SCC), is spearheading
a partnership with St. Joseph of the Pines in a
program designed to train personal and home care
Human Resources Development at Sandhills
Community College focuses on assisting unemployed
and underemployed adults to secure the skills needed
to start a new career or re-enter the workforce. Troyer
coordinates training for this program, relentlessly
looking for new ways to incorporate training to serve
One way to serve, because of the skyrocketing
need for health care professionals who serve
patients in their homes, SCC and St. Joseph of the
Pines have teamed up to give students the skills and
training needed to become successful as a personal
and home care professionals. This program is a
result of a U.S. Department of Health and Human
“There are four distinct phases,” explains Troyer.
“The two introductory phases, which began in early
March, are appropriate for the person with little or no
health care skills. These phases are “Introduction to
Direct Care Work” and “Direct Care Basics.”
“Phase III-Nurse Aide Level I” and “Phase IV-Home
Care Nurse Aid” start soon,” she adds. “These advanced
phases are for a person already certified with certain
skills, such as a Nursing Assistant Level I or for people
who have completed Phase I and Phase II.”
“We are flexible on the type of training, schedules
and location based on the needs of the students.
Training through HRD can include career exploration,
academic readiness, life skills, job search strategies,
budgeting, mastering the interview and time
Troyer adds that the partnership is a direct effort of
the Dean of Continuing Education Andi Korte.
“Without her determination and quickness to
respond, none of this would have been possible.”
For more information about Human Resources
Development programs, contact Jenny Troyer at
(910) 695-3926 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
12 OutreachNC • May 2012
my Grandmother’s Eyes
You sometimes never know the influence
you might have on someone, or they on
you. Looking back over my life, I can see
how my grandmother’s vision of a worthwhile life
has become my own.
My grandmother never drove a car or lived in a big
house. She worked one year as a schoolteacher before
getting married at 20. She was never famous, but in
some circles, the name Christine Wolf was well known
and respected. If you asked people who knew her,
they’d say, “Christine was a cheerful, positive woman
and accomplished gardener.”
My maternal grandmother also had a strong love
for God and family, and she made a mean German
chocolate cake. But, boy, she could garden. Like most
people of her generation, she grew vegetables to help
feed her family, but flowers were her passion. My
grandmother learned early on the joy of nurturing a tiny
seed, into something big and beautiful.
I remember, my grandparents’ tiny, two-bedroom
house in Akron, Ohio. The backyard was a small patch
of grass with a picnic table; the rest of the one-acre lot
was a large garden. The front and sides of the small
house had so many flowers that by late June it took on
the look of a Thomas Kinkade painting.
I can’t remember my grandmother ever saying there
was a flower she did not like, but then she was never
one to speak ill of anyone. Maybe she added flowers
to that belief. If pressed for favorites, she would say
the Double Delight Rose for its two-color blooms and
wonderful fragrance and the aromatic Stargazer Lily.
In the late 1970s, both of us moved to North Carolina.
My grandmother went to live in the mountains, and I
followed the horses to Southern Pines. Whenever I went
to visit her, she would take me around her small lot in
Clyde and show me all her flowers. She took time telling
me all their names and history. I would listen patiently,
genuinely admiring the bounty of blossoms, but my mind
was more on that moist chocolate cake with the coconut
icing I knew was inside. To my surprise though, just a
few years later, I got hit with the bug. The plant bug that
is, and in 1987, I became a landscape designer.
My grandmother enjoyed my new occupation, and our
By Gail Scott
Special to OutreachNC
times together took
on new meaning.
We toured gardens,
shared our favorite
plants and poured
over new catalogs.
She would ask
me in detail about
the landscapes I
was working on,
quizzing me on my
When we ran across a friend or acquaintance, she
would proudly say, “This is my Granddaughter Gail. She
designs gardens. She got that from me.”
I was proud too.
Unfortunately, my grandmother developed macular
degeneration in her late 70s, and her eyesight gradually
became so bad that she had to move back to Ohio. But
shortly before she moved, she received her biggest
notoriety for her garden talents. A passing reporter
for the “Asheville Times” was so taken by “Grams”
and her garden that he returned with a photographer.
The following Sunday, she was the cover story for the
In the last year of her life, she was no longer able to
care for plants. So I tried to see things through her eyes.
I started writing long letters chronicling what flowers
were growing in my gardens and describing what new
and exciting plants were on the market. I figured visitors
would read the letters to her, and they did, over and over
again until the next letter came.
In the newspaper article, my grandmother said, “It
doesn’t help to complain, and growing things helps me
Now when I find myself feeling down, I remember
that, and I get back to the garden.
Scott, owner of Lotus Designs Landscaping, can be reached
at (910) 315-3055 or www.lotusdesignslandscaping.com
OutreachNC • May 2012 13
14 OutreachNC • May 2012
Photos by Mollie Tobias
John and Tina Gross are proud to be part of five generations of farmers at Gross Farms, where strawberries are bountiful right now thanks
to the mild winter and the hard work of the whole family. Located at 1606 Pickett Road off N.C. 87 in Sanford, the farm has something
going on year-round. For more information, contact Gross Farms at (919) 498-6727 or visit www.grossfarms.com.
Ripe time of year for strawberries
Tina Gross didn’t grow up on
a farm, but when she married
John Gross, there was little
doubt her children would.
“Farming is a lifestyle; it’s not a career. It’s not for
the faint of heart,” she says. “My husband loves it
and has a great passion for it, and it rubs off on you.”
John took over the family farm as soon as he
graduated from high school, stepping up when
Alzheimer’s disease rendered his father unable to
carry on. That was in 1984. Almost 30 years later,
Tina and John’s oldest son, Cody, 19, got his first
tobacco contract. He represents the fifth generation
of family members, spanning more than 100 years,
to work at Gross Farms.
The Grosses’ three younger children pitch in too,
right down to 7-year-old Kassidy, whose jobs during
strawberry season include handing out coloring
By Jennifer Kirby
Special to OutreachNC
books and stickers to children who
come to pick and wiping down the
strawberry buckets with a wet rag.
“They need that; they need to feel
like they’re contributing,” says Tina, who resigned in
December from full-time employment as a medical
practice administrator so she could concentrate on
marketing, staffing, bookkeeping and a slew of other
responsibilities at the farm. “That’s one of the most
important things John and I can instill in them, is a
good work ethic.”
There’s plenty of opportunity for practice. Besides
strawberries, Gross Farms grows more than a dozen
other commodities and sells them in the onsite
“produce barn,” a converted tobacco barn that John
and his siblings, all of whom worked in tobacco
growing up, “vividly remember filling on numerous
continued page 15
OutreachNC • May 2012 15
In the fall, the focus at Gross Farms shifts to
hayrides, pumpkins and the corn maze. The maze
is an impressive production that the Grosses have
been pulling off with help from John’s brother,
Bill Gross, and sister, Kathy Amir, as well as their
spouses, since 2002. The nearly five-mile labyrinth
is set on a 15-acre cornfield.
“It takes all of us doing all we can do during that
maze to make it happen,” says Tina.
But while in season, strawberries are all the rage.
This year’s mild winter led to an early, abundant
crop, and Gross Farms workers are up early every
day picking them.
“Day-old berries aren’t very pretty,” Tina says,
though they’re fine for jam or jelly.”
continued page 16
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16 OutreachNC • May 2012
continued from page 15
Many are sold by the flat or the quart in the produce
barn. Others are distributed to the community through
the Sandhills Farm to Table food cooperative, for
which Gross Farms also supplies asparagus and
A great many strawberry lovers prefer to do their
own picking, and Gross Farms offers extended hours
every April through July to accommodate those who
are so inclined. Weekends are especially busy at the
farm located four miles south of Sanford on N.C. 87.
“It is a hoot watching these little kids go out there,”
Such agritourism, which broadly speaking, includes
any agricultural-based activity that brings visitors to
farms, is on the rise in North Carolina according
to the Department of Agriculture and Consumer
Services, especially in the past couple of decades.
The Grosses planted their first strawberry field in the
spring of 2000.
“People are wanting to reconnect to a simpler
lifestyle, in my opinion,” Tina says. “We lead
such hectic lives, and they just
want to step out of that
for a little while and
take that deep
that at a
1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked
1 quart fresh strawberries
3/4 cup white sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
3/4 cup water
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
3 tablespoons sugar
1 lemon, zest and juiced
Photo by Mollie Tobias
Blend cream cheese, sugar and lemon. Spread
into bottom of pie crust.
Arrange half of strawberries on top of cream
cheese mixture. Mash or place into blender and
puree remaining berries and combine with sugar in
a medium saucepan. Place saucepan over medium
heat and bring to a boil, stirring frequently.
In a small bowl, whisk together cornstarch and
water. Gradually stir cornstarch mixture into boiling
strawberry mixture. Reduce heat and
simmer mixture until thickened,
about 10 minutes, stirring
constantly. Pour mixture
over berries in
pastry shell. Chill
Aging Outreach Services
OutreachNC • May 2012 17
Make a habit of good posture
Sometime during your life, you’ve probably
been told to stand up or sit up straight. You
may have temporarily corrected yourself but,
in actuality, it takes conscious effort and practice to
achieve and maintain proper
First, experience what proper
posture feels like. Stand or sit
with your ears in line with your
shoulders and your shoulders
in line with your hips. Roll
your shoulders back and
down. Pull your abdominal
muscles in toward your
spine. Lift up through the
crown of your head as if a
cord is attached from the crown of your head to the
ceiling. And don’t forget to take long, full breaths,
inhaling and exhaling through the nose.
Now that you know what proper posture feels like,
make a concerted effort to check yourself throughout
the coming days when you’re driving in the car, sitting
in a waiting room or standing in line at the grocery
store. Make good posture a habit. You will reap
the healthful benefits to include better circulation,
enhanced breathing, improved concentration, less
muscle fatigue, strain and aches, improved image
(you’ll look thinner) and increased self-confidence.
You can also lower your blood pressure and promote
instant relaxation by learning this simple breathing
technique which can be done any time of day or night.
Begin by noticing your current breathing pattern. It
may be shallow and incomplete. Consciously deepen
your breath by filling your abdomen first. Then
expand your lungs completely like a balloon. Allow
your collarbones to lift slightly as you inhale. Hold
two seconds. Reverse the process as you exhale. Be
aware of your collarbones falling gently, your lungs
deflating and your abdomen sinking back toward the
spine. Repeat slowly four to five times. Give it a try,
and you’ll be glad you did.
Jones, a certified personal trainer at The Fitness Studio, can be
reached at (910) 445-1842 or email@example.com.
Jones also teaches a 55+ focused, free exercise class on Tuesdays
from 8:30-9:30 a.m. at Aberdeen First Baptist Church, located at
700 North Sandhills Blvd., Aberdeen. All are welcome.
The Enrichment Center of Lee County
Moore County Department of Aging
Wednesday, May 23
A one-day conference to address current trends in
Alzheimer’s care for family, community & professional caregivers.
Dennis A. Wicker Civic Center | 1801 Nash St | Sanford
8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Registration Required
Special Guest Speakers: Melanie Bunn, Dementia Training Specialist
& Dan Kaufer, Memory and Cognitive Disorders Program, UNC-Chapel Hill
(919) 776-0501 ext. 2230 | www.alznc.org
Navigating all your aging needs
18 OutreachNC • May • May 2012
Give gift of good finanical advice to your graduates
It’s time for the Class of 2012 to jump into the next
stage of life—to earn their own salaries and pay
their own bills, and they could use your guidance.
For those who’ve been fairly independent during their
school years, this may not be a big transition. But for
others, managing finances may make entering the adult
Regardless of his or her circumstances, each graduate
is embarking on new challenges and setting new goals.
And one of the best gifts a graduate can receive is some
good financial advice to help get him or her started down
the right track.
Repaying student loans
Depending on how much money a graduate must
repay, managing student loans may seem impossible.
According to the College Board’s Trends in Student
Aid 2010 study, almost all students who earn four-year
degrees from private institutions graduate with debt.
Median debt levels range from $24,600 to $34,600.
Most federal loans offer six- or nine-month grace
periods before repayment must begin, but many private
loans do not. It is important to review loan documents
carefully to understand repayment options. If a graduate
anticipates difficulty in repaying loans, he or she should
contact lenders immediately to take advantage of possible
consolidation options or to work out an agreement to
Set up a budget
Now is the ideal time for graduates to put a realistic
budget in place. Several excellent online tools are
available to help, including mint.com and mymoney.gov. A
budget should cover all necessary expenses and should
take into consideration the following:
•Creating an emergency fund. This is by far the most
important part of a budget. The recommended safety
net is usually three months’ expenses. But in these
challenging economic times, a safety net of at least six
months’ expenses may be more appropriate. Though it
can be tough to build any type of safety net on an entrylevel
salary, it should be a priority.
• Building a nest egg. This is the best time to learn
a necessary lifelong habit—regardless of how little new
graduates may earn right out of school, they should save
some of it. Saving a small amount now can make a big
difference in the future since
the money has more time to
grow. A relatively pain-free
way to save is to contribute
to an employer-sponsored
401(k) plan, especially if the
employer offers a company
match. Putting aside a low
percentage at first is okay,
and the percentage can be
raised over time; just start now!
• Making sure social activities don’t break the bank.
This part of the budget is very different once young
people are paying for their own housing and food. It’s the
perfect way to learn to use a budget. Figure out what is
affordable, and stick to it.
Cleaning up the digital footprint
Graduate should google themselves to find out what
kind of information is easily accessible on the web.
There are two ways to manage an online presence.
First, new graduates should avoid conveying a negative
image on social websites like Facebook. Untagging or
deleting compromising photos and managing privacy
settings are good ideas, as is limiting what professional
friends can view. On the other hand, new graduates can
promote a positive online presence by registering on sites
like LinkedIn and Google Profiles, which are geared to
Keeping credit in good shape
Bad credit is hard to undo; it can limit a graduate’s
access to loans, lead to increased interest and insurance
rates and possibly prevent a candidate from getting hired.
The best advice for keeping credit under control is to
make payments on time and pay more than the minimum
Graduates should also check their credit once a year
at each of the three major credit reporting agencies—
Equifax, Transunion, and Experian—to ensure that they
have not fallen victim to identity theft. They can do this
online at annualcreditreport.com.
Clement is a financial planner with Clement Capital
Group, offerering securities and advisory services as
an investment adviser representative of Commonwealth
Financial Network®, a member firm of FINRA/SIPC a
Registered Investment Advisor. She can be reached at
(910) 693-0032 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Book Review: The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott
always find it refreshing to switch back from today’s
action packed literature and read about a writer I
read as a child. Possibly no author is more endeared
to a woman reader than Louisa May Alcott, if the reader
read “Little Women.” “The Lost Summer of Louisa May
Alcott” gives those fans more of their beloved heroine.
The first chapter has this quote from “Little Women:”
“Don’t laugh at the spinsters, dear girls, for often very
tender, tragical romances are hidden away in the hearts
that beat so quietly under their sober gowns.”
We all have in our heads the descriptions of the author’s
destitute family: Bronson,
father, a Transcendentalist
philosopher and dreamer
who would rather talk than
work; his harried wife,
Marmee, overworked and
misguided caregiver who
has been brainwashed
about the necessity
f o r
g i v i n g
a w a y
o n e ’ s
g o o d s
p o o r ,
s i s t e r s ,
A n n a ,
L o u i s a ,
L i z z i e
and May, who complete
the close-knit clan.
In this book, the year is
1855, and the family has
just moved to Walpole, New
Hampshire for the summer,
thanks to the largess of a
relative who had an unused
house to spare. We learn
of Louisa’s frustration early
on, as her dream is to live
in Boston and write.She is
trapped at age 21 like her
sisters in the daily grind of
domesticity, sewing wornout
clothes, doing laundry,
picking apples, cooking
by Kelly O’Connor McNees
OutreachNC • May 2012 19
She is determined to escape and
pursue her writing career. Obstacles
keep getting in her way. She
meets Joseph Singer. In spite of
her writing career and role in the
movement for women’s rights, she
falls for him, but situations prohibit
a romance. This book is romantic fiction.
To treat your existing wound — and to prevent it from appearing
again — we get to the source of the problem.
FirstHealth’s Wound Care & Hyperbaric Centers use advanced technology
to successfully treat wounds that have previously resisted traditional
treatment. Healing wounds is what our physicians do.
Call (910) 715-5901 in Moore County or (910) 417-3636
in Richmond County for more information.
20 OutreachNC • May 2012
OutreachNC • May 2012
Photo by John Gessner
Retired Col. Vern Pike and his wife Renny of Pinehurst were married in 1958, at right, and
took part in the USO of North Carolina’s Marriage Vow Renewal Ceremony aboard the USS
North Carolina as part of the USO-NC’s 70th anniversary celebration. For more information
on the USO of North Carolina, contact (919) 840-3000 or visit www.uso-nc.org.
Ceremony honors service,
Editor’s note: For our 2012 issues, we are highlighting
an event or festval. I usually write about an something
forthcoming, but this one event seemed much too special
not to share. Since it was invitation only, it was an honor to
witness it, and I hope the importance of the event shines
through as we pause this month for Memorial Day.
Clouds moved in quickly over the USS North
Carolina battleship in Wilmington, but hopes
were high. A steady stream of couples dressed
to the nines, whether in uniform or not, filed in for
the USO of North Carolina’s Marriage Vow Renewal
Ceremony held March 31. This special ceremony was
part of the “USO–North Carolina 70th Anniversary-
Wilmington Celebrates” wrapping up a yearlong
commemoration of the milestone anniversary for the
nonprofit. The USO-NC’s unyielding service to the
state’s armed forces keeps them forever on duty.
Retired Col. Jeri Graham, the event chair responsible
for the idea of a vow renewal, had her hands full with
By Carrie Frye
planning and preparation.
“A friend of mine had related to me how she organized
a marriage vow renewal ceremony when she was a Navy
chaplain’s wife at a base in Rhode Island. I had that idea
then in the back of my mind and thought that we could
do something special on the fantail of the USS North
Carolina,” explains Graham.
Talk of the event drew an overwhelming response,
initially surprising Graham.
“I was so impressed with how important this
opportunity was to so many families. I received many
phone calls with lovely stories of how their original
marriages often took place with a justice of the peace
prior to basic training or deployments. And this
same scenario was not a recent phenomenon. Every
generation had similar stories,” Graham recalls.
continued page 21
OutreachNC • May 2012 21
“Many wanted to celebrate the years of marriage over
a military career with moves, frequent deployments and
the numerous challenges of keeping families growing
and together. Today’s military families have been faced
with many deployments over the past 10 years, which
is especially challenging to our service members. Folks
loved the idea that we would think enough of them that
we would plan this for them as couples. It was a great
opportunity for intergenerational sharing.”
Retired Col. Vern Pike of Pinehurst, a dedicated
volunteer for the USO-NC and chair of the 70th
anniversary committee, took Graham’s idea to heart.
“As you may have read in the newspapers lately,
young soldiers have experienced marital strain with
so many deployments and being away from home.
So this marriage vow renewal, in part, was to help
show youngsters that it is possible in marriage to
work through your problems, and the response was
incredible,” says Pike.
Pike and his wife Renny, married for 53 years, fully
embraced the idea of renewing their vows and being a
part of this intergenerational sharing.
“We were married at Fort Gordon Dec. 12, 1958. He
was a 2nd lieutenant, and I was still in school. There
was a blizzard in Georgia, which kept many of our
guests away, so it was a small wedding,” remembers
Renny. “We’ve always thought about renewing our vows
through the years.”
“And this is a unique event,” adds Pike.
The Pikes are no exception when it comes to facing
the challenges of being a military family raising three
sons. They are now quite content as grandparents and
“I did two tours in Vietnam and a tour in Granada, but
the highs far outweigh the lows,” says Pike, who was
stationed with his young family in Germany from 1959
to 1962 and again from 1975 to 1983.
“Those were our happiest years as a family. The
military gave us the opportunity to travel. We’ve
traveled all over Europe, and it gave our sons a nice
international background in addition to being military
brats,” adds Renny.
With all the details of the ceremony itself put in place
by Graham and her hardworking team of volunteers,
the Pikes only had to decide what to wear. With the USS
North Carolina as the ceremony venue, Renny chose a
pant suit, as was the recommendation since wind could
be a factor.
“I can’t quite get in my uniform anymore,” Pike says
with a quick grin.
continued page 22
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OutreachNC • May 2012
OutreachNC • May 2012
continued from page 21
A dapper couple, the colonel in his gray suit donning his mini
medals, the Pikes joined 87 other military couples aboard the
USS North Carolina to renew their vows.
The battleship, too, was all decked out and adorned with
sheer white garland gathered with roses forming the aisle
leading up to the fantail. Couples received programs, red
carnation boutonnieres for the gentlemen and long-stemmed
roses for the ladies. The only unfortunate guest in attendance
was Mother Nature with a drenching rain.
When a window of blue sky appeared through the clouds, the
couples headed for the fantail, where they were greeted by a
bagpiper. When the skies opened yet again, Graham decided
the ceremony had to go on regardless.
Under the cover of umbrellas, couples faced each other as
the heavens poured down, however, it is said that rain on a
wedding day is good fortune. After the honors were paid to
God and country, Chaplain and retired Cmdr. Glenn Miller of
Pinehurst led the ceremony.
As if time stood still and weather was of no consequence,
vows spoken in love were the only sounds aboard the
battleship. Tears flowed like the rain from the eyes of wives
and husbands. Afterwards, wedding doves were released as
the rain waned. The ceremony concluded with a toast by Col.
Pike and the cutting of the ornately decorated wedding cake.
“No one will ever forget the closeness that everyone felt
during this very special and meaningful ceremony. There wasn’t
a dry eye in the place,” says Graham, who was forced to deal
with the inclement weather.
Couples married from a few weeks to 68 years stood together
aboard the battleship.
“It was especially wonderful to have such a blend of
generations present. I believe that younger couples could gain
support and insight by seeing couples married for decades
by sharing this day. The Pikes are a great example of sharing
a great career and then continuing to give back by being so
involved in organizations that make a difference in the lives of
service members and their families, past, present and future,”
It was a day to celebrate marriage and recognize the efforts
and anniversary of the USO-NC rain or shine.
“Marriage is a permanent thing. This is a reaffirmation of our
being together as long as we have,” says Pike.
“Since we’ve been married 53 years,” adds Renny, “it was high
time to ensure we have the next 50.”
To view the online photo gallery of the
USO-NC Marriage Vow Renewal Cermony, visit
www.outreachnc.com and click Photo Gallery.
OutreachNC • May 2012 23
24 OutreachNC • May 2012
new treatment now being offered by pain
specialists and neurosurgeons at FirstHealth
Moore Regional Hospital takes the management
of chronic back and/or leg pain to a more individualized
The AdaptiveStim with RestoreSensor
neurostimulation system is the only chronic pain
treatment that provides pain relief by automatically
adapting stimulation levels to the patient’s individual
“This system uses the motion sensor technology
found in smart phones and computer gaming systems
to recognize and recall the correlation between a
change in body position and the level of stimulation
the patient needs,” says Brian Thwaites, M.D. of the
FirstHealth Back & Neck Pain Center. “It also records and
stores the frequency of posture changes, which helps us
understand how the patient’s stimulation requirements
An estimated 115 million Americans suffer from
chronic pain. For some, the problem is so severe that it
affects the way they live their daily lives, interfering with
work as well as with social and physical activity.
Neurostimulation systems include an implantable
device that is used with a handheld patient programmer
to keep pain signals from reaching the brain. Before the
use of the AdaptiveStim with RestoreSensor device,
however, patients often complained that even a
simple change in body position – such as sitting up or
lying down – could cause a change in the intensity of
stimulation as the spinal cord moved closer or farther
away from the stimulation site.
When this occurred, patients had to use the wireless
programmer to adjust their stimulation levels as they
The motion sensor technology of the AdaptiveStim
with RestoreSensor device automatically adapts
stimulation levels to the specific needs of the patient. The
system also recognizes and remembers the correlation
between the change in body position and the level of
Patients receiving a neurostimulation device undergo
an extensive education process that includes a oneweek
trial to determine if they are suitable candidates for
a permanent implant. At Moore Regional, the trials are
conducted by three pain specialists with the FirstHealth
Back & Neck Pain Center: James Winkley, M.D., Paul
Kuzma, M.D. and Dr. Thwaites. The surgical implants are
done by Bruce Jaufmann, M.D., a neurosurgeon with
Carolina Neurosurgical Services.
The implanted devices are placed under the skin
of the abdomen, and the coated wire leads are
inserted under the skin and into the spinal canal.
The procedure is typically done as an outpatient
procedure involving a local anesthetic. The patient is
usually awake but sedated.
“This system is recognized as an effective treatment
for patients whose chronic pain has not responded to
other therapies,” says Dr. Jaufmann. “It provides a new
option to help manage their pain while allowing
them to return to their normal activities.”
Neurostimulation therapy has been
available for more than three decades, but
the technology, especially in the size of the
generator and batteries, has greatly improved
throughout the years. The generators are
small, about the size of a pacemaker, while
batteries are about the size of a silver dollar
and last for several years.
Pain specialists offer new therapy
For more information on the FirstHealth Back
& Neck Pain Center or on the AdaptiveStim
with RestoreSensor neurostimulation system,
call (910) 715-1478.
OutreachNC • May 2012 25
Gastroenterologist joins Scotland Health Care
Scotland Health Care System announces
the opening of Scotland Gastroenterology
and welcomes Dr. Sebastian Abadie,
Dr. Abadie completed medical
school, residency in internal medicine,
and a gastroenterology fellowship in
his native country of Argentina before
relocating to the United States.
Following the completion of his
training in Argentina, as well as
the U.S. Medical License Exams,
he began the internal medicine
internship and residency program at
Pitt County Memorial Hospital in Greenville. At the
end of those three years, he spent another year as
a clinical instructor in gastroenterology at the same
institution. Lastly, he completed a three-year clinical
gastroenterology fellowship at MetroHealth Medical
Center in Cleveland, Ohio. After his gastroenterology
fellowship, Dr. Abadie joined a four-physician practice
in Sanford prior to his move to Laurinburg.
Dr. Abadie is also proficient in several languages.
“I started learning English as a child in elementary
school. I’m fluent in Spanish and Portuguese and
speak a little bit of Italian. I believe my language skills
will be an asset to my practice and patients here. I am
committed to offering the best quality of clinical care for
my patients,” says Dr. Abadie.
For more information, contact Scotland
Gastroenterology at (910) 277-4410. The practice is
located at 205 Lauchwood Drive in Laurinburg.
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26 OutreachNC • May 2012
One of my favorite local lettuce varieties this spring
has been Speckled Mountain Trout Lettuce from
David’s Produce in Ellerbe. One of the great
things about the farm to table trend is the variety of fruits
and vegetables being produced and readily accessible.
Lettuce is a great example. There are basically six types
of lettuce: butter head, Chinese, crispy head, loose-leaf,
romaine and summer crisp. In North Carolina, many
farmers grow butter head (Green Haven Hydroponic
Plant Farm in Carthage), loose-leaf and romaine (David’s
Produce) and other varieties across the region.
May is National Salad Month. Think of lettuce as a base
for some amazing spring salads. Lettuce is a natural and
fresh food that has all kinds of vitamins, minerals and
fiber. Lettuce has 247 percent of your recommended daily
amount of vitamin A, 147 percent of vitamin K, 10 percent
of iron, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. If lettuce is
the canvas, you can be the artist and create a great side
dish or a meal in itself.
As a child, I can remember my mother attempting to
grow her own lettuce and thinking it tasted like crunchy
green water and dirt (make sure to wash it), but over time
I grew to like it. You can easily grow your own in a small
planter or garden box. You will taste the difference; it is
nothing like grocery store iceberg.
Build your salad wisely, and add in other fruits and
vegetables. If you want to make a meal, add a lean
protein like grilled chicken, fish or lean beef. Play with
texture; add nuts, sprouts or raw vegetables for a crunch,
sautéed onions or peppers for savory flavors and fresh
berries for sweetness. Consider a creamy goat cheese
or tangy feta for additional calcium. Your choices are
The one pitfall many of us fall into is the dressing.
Many store-bought dressings are loaded with fat, sugar,
sodium and hydrogenated oils. Read the labels and
consider making your own. With all of the flavors in your
salad, you can use a basic olive oil, vinegar, Dijon, lemon
juice and salt and pepper to make a vinaigrette.
& Tuna Salad with
2 cups Speckled Mountain
Trout Lettuce (or any variety)
1 piece grilled Ahi or Yellow Fin Tuna (4 to 6 oz.)
4 spears grilled or blanched asparagus
½ cup fresh strawberries (diced)
1/8 cup toasted almonds (for topping)
1/8 cup crumbled goat cheese (or any cheese)
Makes 1 serving, double for two. Wash lettuce
thoroughly and pat dry. Layer the lettuce in the bottom of
your bowl or plate and top with grilled tuna, asparagus,
strawberries, and goat cheese. Sprinkle with toasted
almonds and drizzle dressing over the top.
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tsp. lemon juice
¼ cup smashed strawberries
1 tsp. apple cider vinegar
Salt & pepper to taste
¼ cup olive oil
Morris, owner of Rhett’s
Restaurant, can be reached
at (910) 695-3663.
Combine first five
ingredients in a
small mixing bowl,
and slowly whisk in
your olive oil until
May I always...
OutreachNC • May 2012 27
As I pause a moment to take a breath, I see so
much beauty this spring season. The grass
seems greener. The trees are fuller. Color has
sprung up everywhere I look, and even when pollen fills
the air, the beauty around us abounds. May is indeed a
month of renewed energy
and of many reminders of
the powerful presence of
We celebrate both
Mother’s Day and Memorial
Day this month. Taking the
time to celebrate these days
Spirituality & Aging can remind us of so much.
Through the gift of life, our
mothers provided the way
for our physical presence
here in this world. And through the gift of their lives, many
service men and women have protected our country and
made freedom possible. There are so many ways to say
thank you for all we have been given that we may never
say thank you enough.
One thing we may do is to live the life we are given with
some renewed energy of our own. As difficult a task as
this feels to be at times, I believe when we are able to
give attention, however slight, to anything, we then begin
to provide energy to what we see. That energy may be
positive or negative or in-between the two. Nevertheless,
there is an impact. This requires a shift in the way we
think about life.
I know that when someone looks at me and smiles, I
feel lifted up. If I am being yelled at, I tense up. And when
someone is looking for me, I begin to recognize I am not
alone and that in some way I make a difference in the life
of the one looking. We are somehow, always renewing
energy whether we recognize it or not. Embracing this
awareness and becoming part of it provides renewal
both to us and those around us.
Recently, I received an e-mail with a list of “will-nevers.”
The list played on the idea of putting your best face
forward in what you do. Rather than focusing on what I will
never do, I want to focus on what I may always do.
May I always receive the gift of life? May I always
recognize those who serve others? May I always
remember to say thank you for all I am given? May I
always look to see the powerful presence of the love of
God? May I always every day pause a moment to take a
breath? May I? May you? May we together? That would
be a beautiful thing.
Hudson, Senior Development Officer at The Foundation of
FirstHealth in Pinehurst, can be reached at (910) 695-7500 or
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28 OutreachNC • May 2012
Hardest times easier when “Side by Side”
line from a song by John Lennon and Paul
McCartney from 1967 sums up my thoughts
on friendship: “I get by with a little help from
my friends.” How true. I can’t imagine going through a
difficult situation without help from my friends. The other
day I had the opportunity to help a client transition from
his home and move out of state. As with any of us who
are making big changes, there were anxieties and fear.
Moving is hard for any of us at any age. I often think it
gets harder the longer we’ve lived in one place.
There is no way he could have managed the packing,
getting medical records together and organizing for the
move out of state alone. I was honored to help. For two
weeks prior to the move, we diligently sorted items. We
scheduled doctor appointments to gather medical records
and worked with his family out-of-state to facilitate
the transfer of information to his new assisted living
My client was melancholy as we loaded up my car and
turned the key in the lock of his home for the last time.
He saw the tree in bloom that he and his wife had planted
when they moved in. His eyes filled with tears as we
pulled out of the driveway. He had recently lost his wife,
so this move was even more painful alone.
It was starting to rain outside, and I said that it was
perfect weather to say goodbye, that even Mother Nature
was shedding tears knowing of his pain. I wasn’t sure how
the next hour or so were going to be. I was very grateful
that I have satellite radio in my car, and I found
myself choosing the familiar 40’s on 4 station
as our backdrop. The best investment I ever
made was continuing my radio subscription.
It has helped in the most difficult of situations.
The day of the move required a drive to the
Raleigh-Durham International Airport and a
hand-off of suitcases and documents to the
devoted family member, who had flown down
to escort him on the journey to his new home.
As we headed north on U.S. 1 from
songs played. He
poured out stories
and memories of
seeing certain bands
on the Steel Pier, his
opinion on singers
and genres and a
mixture of emotions.
During one song, he
kept rhythm by hitting
his knee and on a sweet ballad,
tears again rolled down his
We laughed at the silly
images from “Swinging on a
Star” and picked on each other
when we forgot various lyrics.
By the time we hit Interstate
40 westbound, we were
having a great time. As we
neared the airport exit and as
if on cue, the song “Side by
Side” by the Gene Krupa Orchestra with Anita O’Day on
vocals from 1942 came on the radio.
“Oh! We ain’t got a barrel of money; maybe we’re
ragged and funny. But we travel along, singing a song,
side by side. Don’t know what’s comin’ tomorrow; maybe
it’s trouble and sorrow, but we’ll travel along, sharin’ our
load, side by side. Through all kinds of weather, what
if the sky should fall? Just as long as we’re together, it
doesn’t really matter at all. When they’ve all had their
quarrels and parted, we’ll be just the same as we started.
Just traveling along, singin’ a song, side by side.”
Life is sometimes hard, and we often face challenges.
May you always have someone by your side to share
your burdens and your joy.
Contact Jennifer George to share music memories at
It’s time to play
Tell me if this has ever happened to you when
you’re playing a game of bridge at home.
The cards have been dealt, and you’re talking
amongst yourselves when after a short period of time,
someone finally wakes up and asks, “Who’s bid is it?”,
and I bet nine times out of ten, the person who asks the
question IS the person who’s turn it is to bid.
The same can be said of “Who’s lead is it?” or “Is it my
lead?” We all know that the auction is over after a bid is
followed by three passes, but certain procedure needs
to be followed before the opening lead is made to
prevent an irregularity.
The rule about asking
for a review is pretty
simple. You can ask for
one when it is your FIRST
opportunity to play. If
you’re the opening leader,
you can ask for one prior
to your opening lead.
If you’re the declarer,
you can ask for a review
before your FIRST play
from dummy. If you’re the
partner of the opening
leader, you may ask for
the review prior to the
FIRST play of your card.
After your FIRST play, you
may not ask for a review.
During the play of the
hand, it is very important
for everyone to play in the
proper order, and even
more important to not
detach (or finger a card in
your hand) until it is your
turn to play. Consider a
finesse that a declarer
needs to decide whether
or not to take. You are
then the last person to
play and have detached
the card and put it face
down on the table in front
of you. If the declarer is
watching, this would
Miles W. Whitaker, MD
1816 doctors dr
mean that the finesse is working
—since you would be playing that
card regardless of the decision that
Bridge is a logical game. Cards
should be played in tempo and
played from your hand in the proper
order. Remember, a card laid is a
Dressing of Nancy’s Game in
Southern Pines, can be reached by
OutreachNC • May 2012 29
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OutreachNC • May 2012
A Marine Remembers
the Battle of Iwo Jima
George Cattelona, a member of the 5th
Marine Division, traveled with Military
Tours in March to Hawaii, Guam and
Iwo Jima after his friends at Alzheimers
North Carolina utilized social media to
raise funds to make the trip possible.
In December 1944, a young and
combat green Marine, George
Cattelona, and the 5th Marine
Division were told by their first sergeant that they
would make history. They didn’t believe it until their
days at the Battle of Iwo Jima. Serving his country
and witnessing the horrors of war, Cattelona, 87,
remembers the battle well.
The Fifth Division left the continental United
States and went to Hilo, Hawaii, where they were
trained for invasion.
“We just had to get through the day. There was
nothing romantic about it. No leave, we just trained and
did maneuvers and got ready,” says Cattelona.
As the Marines boarded a ship leaving Hawaii, they
soon realized Iwo Jima, an island of the Japanese
Volcano Islands chain, would be their destination.
By Christine Lakhani
Special to OutreachNC
“We left Pearl Harbor in a convoy, and
as we sailed towards Iwo Jima, we kept
picking up more ships and more men.
We ended up with three divisions of Marines for the
battle,” recalls Cattelona.
The first wave landed 45 days before actually going
onto the island. There were about 800 ships surrounding
Iwo Jima, three divisions of Marines and all the supplies
necessary for the operation.
The battle started with aerial bombardment, which
continued every day for 74 days, but the biggest problem
was the enemy underground in tunnels and caves.
“Tunnels were interwoven into the island. It allowed
for enemy soldiers to pop up in front of you or behind
you,” explains Cattelona.
Cattelona was a forward observer for his battery.
continued page 31
“The first time going up, we joined
forces with another forward observer
team – 16 men with two officers. We
stopped for a minute or less, and in
that time frame, a mortar landed in
our midst. One dead, 10 wounded,
five walked away. My left canteen
had a four-inch slit where a piece of
shrapnel went through it. My poncho
was over my gun belt and shrapnel
went through it, right between by
legs but never touched me. After that, we went through
a command position that had been hit by mortar
rounds, and to my right was a Marine with his feet in the
air and the top of his body blown away.”
Cattelona continues, “Our radio man almost cracked
up. I had to yell at him to get moving.”
The group continued in their advance to relieve their
fellow forward observer team who was waiting. These
horrific events of war all happened in Cattelona’s first
day on the island.
“On the second day, I was fixing my foxhole for
the evening, and to my left rear, a hand grenade or
small mortar landed, and a small piece of shrapnel
went into the muscle of my left arm and one into my
helmet. The hole that was left I could fit my pinkie
through. My helmet was tossed around on my head,”
OutreachNC • May 2012 31
Yet another close call occurred on
his second trip to the front lines. While
preparing to set up a forward observer
spot to look at the enemy, a cannon
was fired at his mound.
“Everybody said, ‘Get down! Get
down!’ They kept firing at the mound
until we were all down, but no one
was hurt that time, just scared,” says
All in all, Cattelona made five trips to the front line
with the artillery, for a total of 14 days out of his 28 on
When it was over, there was no more organized
resistance, and the island was secure. With the 5th
Division’s high rate of casualties, they were sent back to
Hilo to regroup and prepare to be a part of the invasion
“We got replacements and started training to get
the division back to full strength. We trained until
they dropped the atomic bomb. In the middle of the
night, the guard on duty started shouting, ‘Japan has
surrendered! Japan has surrendered!’ I firmly believe
that if Japan had waited three weeks, we would have
been on the high seas going to them,” says Cattelona.
continued page 32
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32 OutreachNC • May 2012
continued from page 31
After the surrender, the division went into occupation
at Sasebo, Japan for 10 months.
“This was the outskirts of Nagasaki (site of the bomb
drop), but I had no desire to go see what happened,”
Cattelona finally returned to the U.S. in July 1946
to Camp Lejeune, which is where he met his wife
Norma, who he calls “a Carolina girl.” They settled
in Durham in the summer of 1947. After working
as a cabinetmaker, Cattelona started a career in life
insurance that eventually brought him to Raleigh.
His memories of the war never left him. Ten years
ago, he started sharing his story by giving talks at
libraries, schools and civic groups, in addition to being
a member of the Wake Forest Air, Land NC Marine
Cattelona began volunteering with Alzheimers North
Carolina (ALZNC) when Norma was diagnosed with the
disease. Since her passing, he continues to volunteer
with the organization, working at health fairs, sharing
his experience with the disease and helping any other
way he can.
Now, Cattelona is the “No. 1” volunteer at ALZNC,
according to Lisa Levine, program director, and Dee
Dee Harris, family service director. Their working
relationship quickly turned into a close friendship.
On Cattelona’s birthday, 11/11/11, the three friends
were celebrating when he mentioned a return to
Iwo Jima was the one thing he wanted to do. Due to
the slow housing market, his house had not sold as
planned and funds for the trip were lacking. A return
trip to the island had been a reoccurring topic during
Cattelona’s years as a volunteer, so both Levine and
Harris knew what the trip would mean to him. They
decided then and there to somehow make his return
trip a reality and set forth on their mission.
“We just looked at each other at that moment and
knew what we had to do,” says Harris.
They had to send this veteran back for one more look,
no matter the cost. Levine and Harris hoped the trip
would give Cattelona the answers he was still seeking.
“He had always said, ‘I was hoping I could see where I
was so lucky and maybe I could find out why. All these
years, I wondered why I got so lucky,’” recalls Harris.
The two friends used social media to get the word
out and set up a “chip in” page to allow people to
donate to cover the cost of the trip. Harris and Levine
not only planned for Cattelona to go but also his friend
Lisa Levine, left, and Dee Dee Harris were there at the airport to
welcome George Cattelona home from his trip.
and fellow Marine, Ray Gerald. Gerald served with the
8th Marine regiment in 1958 on their mission to Beirut,
Lebanon and wanted to be a part of his friend’s dream
Through donations, Levine and Harris collected
money from over 70 people from all over the country.
“We knew we had to send him no matter what we
raised, but we were blessed to raise all the money,”
The trip, taken through Military Tours in March, took
the Marines to Hawaii, Guam and Iwo Jima.
Cattelona was amazed by the changes in Iwo Jima.
New grass stretched from one end of the island to the
other, changing the look completely. He regards the
trip, which included a close-up look at a B-52, meeting
other members of the tour and learning more about
the various battles in the Pacific, as a resounding
Cattelona notes that returning to the island and
discussing his experience in the war did not bother
him, and that in fact, “At times, it helps to talk about it.”
Levine and Harris saw Cattelona and Gerald off and
then greeted them upon their return with USO-NC
members and the staff of ALZNC. Cattelona returned
with some of the island’s famous black sand and pins,
which commemorate the battle.
“We felt honored to be a part of this. The men got on
the plane an 85- or 90-year-old, and got off an 18-yearold,”
Levine concluded that the variety of the schedule
as well as the camaraderie of the group helped the
soldiers reliving the battle.
Harris fully agrees adding, “This was a joy for us and
a highlight for him. It is something we felt humbled to
be a part of, something we’ll never forget. We got to
help make George’s dream come true.”
OutreachNC • May 2012 33
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There are a few things you can do to specifically ward off
memory loss. Most importantly, EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN!
HOW TO PLAY
• Every row of
9 numbers must
include all digits
1 through 9
• Every column
of 9 numbers
must include all
digits 1 through 9
• Every 3 by 3
subsection of the
9 by 9 square
must include all
digits 1 through 9
See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 36
1. Mercury and Mars
5. Half a dozen
8. Birch relative
14. The “O” in S.R.O.
15. 1/100th rupee
16. Negative vote
18. Certain tribute
19. Reserve supply
20. Bauxite, e.g.
22. Caribbean, e.g.
23. Addis Ababa’s land:
27. Recombine audio
29. Bad day for Caesar
30. Mozart’s “L’___ del
31. One stroke over par
33. Young raptor
36. ___ baseball (2 wds)
38. Puddinglike dessert
41. 30-day mo.
48. “20,000 Leagues”
harpooner ___ Land
49. Mexican American
51. Victorian, for one
54. Additions to usual
56. Caterpillar, for one
58. Morse code device
60. Saved on supper,
perhaps (2 wds)
61. Barely gets, with
62. On the safe side, at
64. ___ gestae
65. Amount to make do
2. Recently (2 wds)
3. Unit of apothecary
5. Having more rough
6. “___ say!”
7. Wood sugar
10. Dilation of heart
12. Knock (hyphenated)
17. Loud electric horns
21. Something done to
restore a broken chair
25. Excellent in all
28. Wading birds with
long slender downcurved
32. Faust author
36. Victim of homicide
38. Strong light brown
43. Coldest season
45. Flea market deal
46. Breakfast order
47. Character preceding
a number (pl.)
49. A primary subtractive
color for light (pl.)
55. ___-Altaic languages
59. Barely get, with “out”
OutreachNC • May 2012 35
36 OutreachNC • May 2012
Most telephone numbers you
see in movies and books
start with the prefix 555.
If you are old enough to remember
“Klondike 5” or “Klamath 5,” they were
used in the early motion pictures in
the phone number prefix. There are
real numbers with the prefix 555, but
numbers 555-0100 through 555-0199
are specifically reserved for fictional
use and used to prevent prank calls to
There are many more interesting
tidbits about our phone system that
more people should know about and
use to their advantage. Three of
the most helpful, and least utilized,
features of our current phone
system are: Call Forwarding,
Anonymous Call Rejection and
Selective Call Rejection. Each of
these features is often available at
no additional cost to consumers and
is routinely included in your phone service.
Using these features alone can increase your safety and
reduce your risk of becoming a victim of crime.
Call Forwarding allows you to program your phone
by simply pressing a predestinated code such as *72
(the code will be different between providers) and then
entering the phone number you would like your calls
automatically forwarded to. If your home has been
targeted by burglars, a common tactic is for a criminal to
Make most of unused phone features
Grey Matter Answers
first call the target home to see
if the resident is home. If your
calls are forwarded, the risk of
this type of attack is reduced
since there is no indication to
the caller on the other end that
the call has been forwarded.
The appearance generated is
that you are home.
Anonymous Call Rejection allows to you set up your
phone, which has “Caller ID” to reject an incoming call
from anyone who has blocked their identity and who
would appear as “anonymous” on your phone’s LCD
screen. Blocked callers hear a message that instructs
them to remove their blocking and call back. The caller
must first disable their anonymous setting so their
information will appear for you to see. Again, a simple
code such as *82 must be dialed by the caller before
dialing your number for the call to go through. Since the
majority of telemarketers and fraudsters use computer
automated dialing systems, which cannot decipher the
blocked call and redial it with the correct access code,
the call is never completed.
Selective Call Rejection allows you to program your
phone to reject calls from a particular number. The
blocked callers hear a computer-generated message
that says you are presently not accepting calls. This is
an extremely useful tool if you frequently receive calls
from the same number over and over. Most phone plans
allow you to block up to 12 different numbers.
Our telephone has many other features that can be
used to our advantage such as Call Return, Speed
Dialing (for emergency
situations), VIP Alerts or
Busy Redial. Since you most
likely are already paying for
many of these features, take
advantage of what the phone
can do to protect you. Check
with your telephone provider
to learn what features are
available to you as they will
vary among providers.
For additional information,
contact the Community
Services Unit of the Southern
Pines Police Department at
(910) 692-2732, ext. 2852.
What is SHIIP and how does it work?
Seniors’ Health Insurance Information Program
(SHIIP) is a consumer information division of the
North Carolina Department of Insurance that
assists people with Medicare,
Medicare Part D, Medicare
Advantage and long-term
care insurance questions.
SHIIP also helps people
recognize and prevent
Medicare billing errors and
possible fraud and abuse
through its NCSMP Program.
SHIIP provides education and
assistance to North Carolinians in three ways:
by operating a nationwide toll-free consumer
• information phone line Monday through Friday
from 8 a.m. until 5 p.m.
by training volunteers, including senior citizens,
• to counsel Medicare beneficiaries within their
community about Medicare, Medicare Part D, Medicare
supplements, Medicare Advantage and long-term care
by creating educational materials for consumers’
• use including the Medicare Supplement
Comparison Guide and featuring a Medicare
Supplement Premium Comparison Database on their
web site (www.ncshiip.com).
The program was founded in 1986 by the N.C.
Department of Insurance in direct response to the
growing concerns about health insurance for the
more than one million Medicare beneficiaries in North
Carolina. Numerous insurance companies sell Medicare
supplements, Medicare Advantage, long-term care
insurance and other medical insurance products to
people in North Carolina. Because there are so many
companies and because the Medicare system is so
complex, SHIIP was founded to provide people with
Medicare an objective information service.
You can contact SHIIP by dialing the nationwide
toll-free consumer number, 1-800-443-9354, visiting
the SHIIP web site, www.ncshiip.com, or e-mailing
email@example.com. Trained SHIIP volunteer counselors
are available in all 100 counties of North Carolina. If
your problem is too complex to handle over the phone,
you can contact your local SHIIP Coordinator.
Sherman, program coordinator at the Moore County Senior
Enrichment Center, can be reached at (910) 215-0900 or
OutreachNC • May 2012 37
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38 OutreachNC • May 2012
Down home with
Mary Kay Andrews
By Carrie Frye
From her office in her 1925
craftsman bungalow home
near Atlanta, “New York Times
“bestselling author Mary Kay Andrews
creates works of fiction to keep her
readers turning pages. Her latest
novel, “Spring Fever,” set in North
Carolina in the fictional town of
Passcoe, debuts on store shelves
and e-readers next month with a
kickoff book tour signing at Quail
Ridge Books in Raleigh June 6.
“The books are entirely works of my
imagination with no real connection to
the real Moore County, but Passcoe
could be near Southern Pines,” says
Having previously lived in Raleigh,
Andrews is no stranger to North
Carolina. She makes an annual trip
to Weymouth Center for the Arts and
Humanities and home of the N.C.
Literary Hall of Fame in Southern Pines
with her writers’ club for a week’s stay
dedicated to honing her craft.
“Weymouth is peaceful and quiet.
It really works its magic for us,” says
Andrews. “We write all day and then
brainstorm and play word games at
night. You have never played Scrabble
until you have played with a bunch of
writers,” she quips.
That sense of humor and her Southern
characters bring her books to life.
continued page 39
Photos by Sara Speert Photography ©2012, saraphotography.com
“New York Times” bestselling author Mary Kay Andrews, in her office of her
Atlanta home, is already busy working on her next book while preparing for
the June 5 release of her latest, “Spring Fever” in time to kick off the summer
reading season. A special book pre-sale offer is available for readers on the
author’s website, www.marykayandrews.com. Andrews kicks off her book
tour for “Spring Fever” with a signing at Quail Ridge Books in Raleigh on
Wednesday, June 6 at 7:30 p.m.
OutreachNC • May 2012 39
“What I really write about is home, the search for
home and what home means,” she explains of her
books, which are often called women’s fiction or
beach books, with titles like “Savannah Blues,” “The
Fixer Upper,” “Deep Dish” and “Summer Rental.”
“Basically I write about real people in real situations.”
Writing this genre since 2002, Mary Kay Andrews
is actually a pseudonym derived from her children’s
names, her daughter Mary Kathleen and son Andrew.
“I wasn’t even thinking about the cosmetics
company,” she says with a laugh. “And I am not
going to sell you any blush.”
Andrews began her writing career in journalism
working for for several newspapers. She transitioned
to writing mystery novels, publishing 10 novels in the
Callahan Garrity series. These books were critically
acclaimed and published under her real name, Kathy
Hogan Trocheck. She answers to both names now
and writes her books to please herself, her editor
and most importantly, her fans.
“Most of the time, I’m like everybody else,” says
Andrews. “I roll out of bed and prop up the laptop
with pillows and write. I try to make myself think
about plot points. But lately, I’m on a new health kick.
I have lost 45 pounds by walking and with healthy,
sensible eating. So now, I get out of bed, get in my
walking clothes, walk and then settle down to write.”
And just as dieting takes discipline, so does the
craft of writing.
“I may give myself a quota and say, ‘You’re
not getting up until you write a thousand words.’
You have to play little tricks with yourself to stay
Mary Kay Andrews is known for her beach books or women’s
fiction that feature settings in the Outer Banks,
Savannah, Tybee Island, and for her
latest book “Spring Fever,”
small town of
motivated,” she says.
Interacting with fans and readers is quite important
to Andrews, too. She maintains her website,
newsletter and social media.
“The quarterly newsletter has a recipe, so the
next one will have a Quixie recipe,” which is the
soft drink similar to Cheerwine featured in “Spring
Fever.” “I think to myself, ‘I should be writing this
book, but I have to fix ribs,’” says Andrews with a
gleam in her eyes.
She is quick with posts to her Facebook as well.
“If I have a question, I put it out on Facebook. I
have asked, ‘You are a woman in the South, so what
kind of gun do you have?’ And those answers were
scary,” says Andrews laughing. “I love social media.
It is a time suck, but it creates immediacy and allows
readers to get to know me, my little sassy self. I want
them to feel like they know me.”
Andrews’ readership seems to like what they are
reading, and they show it by putting her books on
the bestsellers list.
“My book “Hissy Fit” is a sentimental favorite
for me, because it was my first “New York Times”
bestseller. I still remember sitting on the porch of
my house in Raleigh on St. Mary’s Street when my
editor called and told me. I started crying. I called
my mom and dad to tell them the news. They were
crying. They were so thrilled. When I was a little girl,
I always dreamed of being a writer,” recalls Andrews.
When Andrews isn’t writing, she is fulfilling her
other roles of wife, mother, grandmother, book club
member and leader of her “junk posse,” which is
always in search of interesting vintage items.
40 OutreachNC • May 2012
continued from page 39
“I’m a collector/hoarder,”
jokes Andrews. “I like old,
funky signs. I never know what
I’m looking for. I just found
a vintage ice cream sign,
and it is going to the Breeze
Inn,” which is Andrew’s beach
home on Tybee Island, Ga.
named for a locale in her book,
She re-sells many of her finds
at her shop, Seaside Sisters,
on Tybee Island. Other finds
are on display in her Atlanta
home, creating a welcoming,
cottage feel. Andrews moves
the laptop around to where
she is most inspired to write,
her office upstairs overlooking
the lush backyard and her
husband’s raised garden beds,
the sunroom off her living room or outside.
“Sometimes I sit on the front porch with ‘Summer
in a Glass.’ It’s pink grapefruit juice, vodka and
lime with maybe a little tonic. It’s like Mayberry with
cocktails,” she says and notes that neighbors drop
by to say hello and see what she is working on.
There is also plenty of family time for making
“I’m just so lucky to have the kids and grandkids
close by and blessed to be able to do this (writing
books),” she says.
For Andrews, family has always and still does
come first. She worked full-time as a newspaper
reporter while writing her first mystery novel.
Photo by Sara Speert Photography ©2012, saraphotography.com
Mary Kay Andrews’ 1925 craftsman bungalow is picture perfect for writing inspiration
and filled with her “junk” finds. When she needs to get away to focus on her craft, she
heads off to write with her writers’ club or often to her home on Tybee Island, Ga.
“I would write after the kids had gone to bed.
That’s what I always tell my kids, ‘You may not be
the best at what you do, but if you work hard, you
can get it done.’”
That work ethic remains for Andrews today. She is
already hard at work on her next book and gearing
up for the upcoming book tour for the release
of “Spring Fever,” which begins after her Atlanta
launch party organized by her daughter. Then she is
“Quail Ridge is always my first out-of-town stop,
and I build a tour around it,” Andrews says. “It’s fun
to meet folks who love books, and there’s no heavylifting
for me,” she jokes. “Every book is like your
child, and I have the stretch marks to prove it.”
Annajane Hudgens, the
protagonist of “Spring
Fever,” is in love. The object
of her affection is her ex-husband
Mason Bayless who is, regrettably,
a n o t h e r
w o m a n .
M a s o n ’ s
e y e s
connect with Annajane’s, and for
a split second, Annajane sees
something in Mason that has her
rising to her feet ready to protest
She doesn’t have to. A crisis in
the church puts a halt
to the nuptials, and
with that, author Mary
Kay Andrews hooks
the reader for 400
pages of wondering,
“Will they, or won’t
looks like a love
story on the surface
–and the love story
is indeed riveting–
but the book is just
as much about
loyalty, family and
a sense of home.
Andrews invites the reader to
weigh wealth against legacy, family
devotion against truth, and roots
against novelty. Andrews weaves
it all together in her usual style of
humor and breeziness so the book
is a lighthearted and fast read.
Amongst an array of strong
personalities (Mason’s controlling
mother Sallie, his ambitious fiancé
Celia and Annajane’s best friend
Pokey are a few) is the Quixie
beverage company, so central
to the story that it becomes a
character in itself. The company,
founded by Mason’s grandfather,
is the backbone of Passcoe, N.C.,
the fictional town where the book
is set. Quixie employs many of the
town’s residents and is a major
donor to area nonprofits. Without
Quixie, there is no Passcoe.
Sales of Quixie’s cherryflavored
soda are on the decline,
and Annajane, the marketing
brain behind the company, fights
alongside Mason to keep Quixie
afloat despite subversive attempts
to sell it to the highest bidder.
Along the way, betrayals and longburied
family secrets are revealed.
The revelations and fall-out are a
delight as characters the reader
is going to love
to hate get their
Passcoe so vividly
that it could be
any small Southern
town, and in fact,
she was inspired by
Southern Pines when
writing the book.
Andrews did much of
her brainstorming for
“Spring Fever” while
on a writers’ retreat at
Weymouth Center. She
sets Passcoe just 20 miles from
Pinehurst and Southern Pines, and
sprinkled throughout the book are
references to characters traveling
Readers who like happy endings
will enjoy this escapist novel coming
out in June. Get a sneak peek by
logging on to macmillanaudio.com/
SpringFeverAudio and listening to
the audio preview.
OutreachNC • May 2012 41
Book Review: Spring Fever by Mary Kay Andrews
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42 OutreachNC • May 2012
OutreachNC • May 2012
Photo by Ann Robson
Nancy, left, and Ann O’Connell, mother and daughter, share a love for helping others and found a niche
volunteering in the Peace Corps at very different times in their lives.
Mother follows daughter’s footsteps
It’s not unusual when sons or daughters
follow in their parents’ footsteps.
Nancy O’Connell and her daughter,
Ann O’Connell, have reversed that trend. They have
both served in the Peace Corps, but Ann was first, going
into the Corps in the late 1980s right after receiving her
master’s degree. When she returned two years later, she
entered the doctorate program at Columbia University.
Ann is now a professor at Ohio State University.
Nancy waited until 2003 before she committed to
serving. She was too busy raising five children, being a
wife and working as a pharmacist to do it before then.
“I couldn’t believe it. I was astonished,” says Ann of
her mother’s decision in 2003. “I wasn’t concerned or
worried; I was totally thrilled and happy.”
Nancy chose the Peace Corps after being a widow for
five years. While she had a busy life with friends, golf
and her church, she had the feeling gnawing at her that
“there must be more I am supposed to do.”
One night she went to the Peace Corps website and
decided to apply. Lots of paperwork was sent to her, and
she underwent extensive medical testing over a period
By Ann Robson
Special to OutreachNC
of about a year. She had
cataract surgery during
the application process,
and that set her Peace
Corps timeline back a
few months. During this
time, she told no one,
not even one of her five
children of her plans.
Once she had cleared all
the hurdles and had an
assignment, she broke
Both daughters “were
thrilled for me,” Nancy
says. It took her three
sons a little longer to
Ann says that she and
her sister, Kate, had
conversations after their
father died about, “What
Mom will do?” While
she “adores her friends
in Whispering Pines,” her
daughters knew that she
would need more to fill her life than golf,
being a golf writer and doing a column for
“I honestly expected she might join Maryknoll or
do short-term missionary work somewhere. It never
occurred to me that she would join the Peace Corps,”
Although mother and daughter had very different
assignments, their basic beliefs in the Peace Corps and
in the United States appear to be the same. When
Nancy and her late husband, Stan, visited Ann in
Tanzania, Nancy was very impressed with the quality
of care and support given to Ann and her fellow Corps
members. She says that played a part in her decision
Ann taught mathematics at an all-boys school called
Mazengo Technical Secondary School in Dodoma,
Tanzania from 1987-89. She says her curriculum was
similar to high school and advanced high school
coursework. Now that school is a private college, St.
John’s University of Tanzania.
continued page 44
OutreachNC • May 2012 43
44 OutreachNC • May 2012
continued from page 42
“Joining the Peace Corps was one of the best choices
I’ve ever made in my life. I believe it has made me a
better person. My experiences continually remind me
about the world’s gifts and beauty but also about its
inequalities and unfairness. The boys that I taught were
extremely gifted intellectually. They and their families
may have been resource poor, but they were invested
in education and its potential for opportunities just like
we are here in the United States,” adds Ann.
“It was great experience”, says Nancy of her two years
in Suriname. “I still miss it to this day.”
Suriname was formerly Dutch Guyana and sits at the
northwest corner of South America right on the Atlantic
Ocean. Nancy requested not to be sent to a cold country,
so her assignment took her to a hot, humid spot, a
mere three degrees from the equator. There was no air
conditioning and there were rotating electrical outages,
but running water was available. Nancy and two other
senior members of the Corps found an apartment
and promptly dubbed themselves the Seniors’ “Three’s
Company.” Nancy and her fellow worker, Gay, lived
upstairs while George lived downstairs.
One evening Nancy and Gay were in their living room,
and a rat sauntered across the room. That quickly
led to them finding a cat to take up residence. The
rat disappeared. The cat, Matty, is now comfortably
ensconced in Nancy’s home in Whispering Pines.
Although getting Matty stateside proved to be
a challenge with permission papers from the U.S.
Embassy and glitches en route to Miami. But Nancy
wasn’t coming back without her.
Nancy considers herself fortunate to have had living
quarters in the capital city of Paramaribo, where at least
a few creature comforts were available. Her neighbor
was the second-in-command at the U.S. Embassy and
often invited Nancy and others to enjoy her home and
swimming pool whether she was home or not. The pool
and the availability of ice were much appreciated.
Nancy celebrated her 70th birthday there with her
Suriname friends, Peace Corps friends and her son,
who came to visit. She was shocked and delighted
with the formality of a state dinner with full red
carpet treatment. The U.S. ambassador annually held
Thanksgiving observances as well as Independence
Day festivities to which Nancy and others were invited.
These events helped all have a touch of “home” on
those special days.
Nancy worked with the HIV/AIDS group in Suriname.
Before she retired, she had been a pharmacist and was
thus assigned to work in the health field rather than
education. She was particularly concerned about the
children whose parents had died and whose extended
families refused to take in the children. She visited
orphanages regularly. Nancy was never afraid to hug
an AIDS patient.
“Too many funerals” was her answer to the worst
part of her work, and all the losses affected her. “The
younger people with their lives ahead of them were an
inspiration,” says Nancy. “They were making sacrifices
and dedicating their lives to others.”
Many of her group were working “in the boonies” with
“none of the comforts we had.” What got her through
these hard times was her strong faith and her strong
belief that they were there doing something to help.
“We were like ambassadors for our country and that
gives me great pride,” says Nancy.
There were many good moments for Nancy −the
friends she made and with whom she keeps in touch,
the belief that what they were doing was helping and,
of course, Matty.
Ann agrees with her mom and adds friends as one
of the best parts of her experience. While she was in
Tanzania, both her grandfathers died, and she was
close to both. Another incident involved her brother,
Tim, who had a bad accident. Weeks later she had a
letter from her grandmother who told her, “Timothy
can walk today.” Her service in the Corps was before cell
phones and Internet communication, so first she was
shocked and later got the full story.
Ann still has a personal connection to Africa. Her
youngest daughter is adopted from Ethiopia.
“She is brilliant and very, very funny. Sometimes I
become overwhelmed just thinking about her and her
birth family and her small village−how smart people
are and how access to water, poor rains, famine, AIDS,
lack of health care and war destroy their opportunities
“We are increasingly more aware of dangerous
interferences,” says Ann. “I am no more sure about how
to solve that problem than the next person. I want to
see more of the world. I want my children to see the
world and not a fearful world, but a world where all
of us are just curious and respectful and learning from
To which her mother Nancy quickly says, “Amen.”
On way to beauty parlor, salon, spa?
Have you noticed
that over the past 20
years or so beauty parlors have
been changing their names? Used to be beauty
parlors were everywhere: “Ed and Amy’s Brake and
Tire Service and Beauty Parlor,” “Emerald City Beauty
Parlor,” “Exquiseete Beauty Parlor Specialists” and, my
personal favorite, “Acme Beauty Parlor #2.”
The first part to go was the term “parlor.” I’m thinking
it sounded too 19th century. When you hear the word
“parlor,” don’t you think of Grandma’s living room?
The sofa covered in see-through plastic, doilies on the
tables and dusty Hummel figurines on little wall shelves
built especially for them?
Parlor just sounds stuffy. And mayhap beauty parlors
were called that because lots of beauticians operated
out of their converted front parlors. Nothing like getting
your hair set in rollers while Adeline Johnson’s husband,
Floyd, sits three feet away from you in the Barcalounger
eating chips and watching the football game
Parlor became salon or saloon depending on the
proprietor’s ability to spell. The first time I saw a “beauty
saloon” advertised, I thought I could go in, get a haircut
AND drink myself silly. Imagine my disappointment.
It wasn’t a very good haircut either. This means if
they can’t even get their own name right, your hair is
probably in for the same treatment.
If you aren’t going to a salon, are you going to a spa?
I really don’t like the name spa for a place that cuts my
hair. When I see spa, I envision so much more than
what a “hair spa” can do for me. I see spa, and you
better be breaking out the good wine (and I don’t mean
the kind that comes from a jug), have at least a halfgallon
bowl of death-by-chocolate ice cream waiting
near the Barbara section and be prepared to massage
the kinks out of my neck. After that, whatever you do
to my hair has got to be more than half decent, or you
need to be hoping I’m tipsy and won’t notice.
When did they start taking the word “beauty” out of
the names? My momma, my aunties and the next door
neighbor lady all went to the beauty parlor and, trust
me, they had expectations.
I think it has to do with suing and the whole truth in
advertising thing. For example, if I go into a grocery
store, I expect to come out with groceries. I go into the
Dairy Queen, I expect to get my Mocha Moolatte with
extra chocolate. And when I go into a hair salon, I still
expect to come out looking better than when I went in,
even if beauty ain’t in the name.
When the first cave woman had her friend, Uga (if
OutreachNC • May 2012 45
don’t write me, I’m already
sorry), braid her hair, she did
not intend to look butt ugly when she left.
Therefore, I want a haircut that makes me look 20
years younger, accentuates my waves, curls and the
grey streaks alongside both temples (which would be
prematurely grey, and therefore sexy, if I actually were
20 years younger), minimizes humidity frizz, is wash
it, shake it and go-able and/or hair dryer-able without
manipulating it into any labor intensive styling, looks
great in the wind, does not need any hair product (aka
spray) to keep it in place and can be trimmed between
salon trips by my husband with my sewing scissors.
Do you think I’m asking too much? I mean, really,
Cohea, a freelance writer, can be reached by e-mailing
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Providing non-medical care
910.725.0342 • 877.844.3877
46 OutreachNC • May 2012
By Heather Green
Special to OutreachNC
Debbie Yow is living proof that you can achieve
your dreams at any age. Yow was raised by
parents who were not formally educated but
taught their children that you can do anything you
want to do and be anything you want to be. This faith
and courage has stuck with her and no doubt played
a huge role in her becoming one of only two women
in her field as an athletic director at a major university
and the first in the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC).
An optimist, hard worker and believer that anything
is possible, Yow is an inspiration to all genders and
ages. Inspired by her faith, fans and the love of the
game, Yow is truly living the dream.
ONC: Tell us about where you grew up, family life,
and some your early accomplishments.
DY: I grew up in Gibsonville, which was a town of
approximately 3,000. I am an Elon graduate, taught
high school English and coached girls basketball. I
was also hired at the University of Kentucky, when
I was 25 to coach ladies basketball, which would be
unheard of today.
My mom and dad were also from Gibsonville. My
mother was very athletic and was the captain of the
high school basketball team. And that was the same
high school where I, my sister Kay and my sister
Susan were also team captains. Susan was the first
All-American for any women’s team at N.C. State.
ONC: In honor of Mother’s Day, is there any advice
from your mother that you can share with us?
DY: My mom did not balance her career, she just
did it. She owned a small beauty salon that allowed
her to keep an eye on us kids. She was on her
feet a lot, and my dad worked at a mill. It was very
challenging for them, and I respect their work ethic
My mom told us we could do and be anything
that we wanted to do or be. How she had that
wisdom for a woman that never went to college or
passed high school is amazing. So I did everything
I could—homecoming court and became captain
of the basketball team. I did not want to major in
physical education at all, but I loved English, literature,
grammar and writing, so I majored in that.
ONC: What does being at N.C. State mean to you?
DY: N.C. State means a lot to me because of the
40-year history that my family has with this university,
and it is one of the main reasons I decided to come
home to become their athletic director. The other
reason is Randy Woodson, the chancellor. He had
just been hired, and I thought he was terrific. We
shared a number of values that I thought were
essential for our athletic program to succeed. We
were, for many years, an underachieving athletic
program, and I knew that the job would be large and
impossible without the support of the chancellor. He is
a big part of our success and has been wonderful for
these past 21 months.
continued page 47
Photo courtesy of N.C. State University Athletics
OutreachNC • May 2012 47
ONC: Did you aspire to move from coaching into
an athletic director role, and what means the most to
you as you have made the transition?
DY: I had no goal to become an athletic director,
because I did not know any women who were
athletic directors. It just did not seem within the
realm of possibility. There have been studies done
specifically by two women from Brooklyn College,
a longitudinal study that started in the late 1970s.
Based on their research, statistically, it would be
more likely that I would become the president of the
college rather than its director of athletics. That is
how rare it is. Even today, there are only two women
in Bowl Championship Series conferences who are
athletic directors—myself and Sandy Barbour at Cal
I have had great opportunities to coach at three
terrific universities: the University of Kentucky, Oral
Roberts University in Tulsa and the University of
Florida. I loved my career, but I always knew that I
wouldn’t be a career coach. Being an athletic director
gives me the chance to help more than one team,
more than one set of student athletes, and that
means so much.
ONC: What does North Carolina mean to you?
DY: It means a lot to me to be back, and I never
thought I would be able to come home. It is just
unlikely that circumstances would be such, and I am
so blessed that it did work out for me and that my
husband Bill was willing to move to North Carolina.
ONC: What values do you work to instill in your
DY: I only see the athletes in large or small groups
but rarely one-on-one. That time is usually spent with
the head coach or assistant coaches. Our values are
very basic: go to class, do what your coach tells you
to do and be a good citizen. Those things sound so
simple, and yet they are much more challenging to
ONC: Any there any special memories you could
share of your sister Kay?
DY: Our love and shared love for the sport of
basketball is special. I remember playing basketball
in our backyard in Gibsonville when we were little,
especially the day Susan and I convinced Kay and
our mom to play two on two. Unfortunately, she broke
both of her wrists that day. My father was not very
happy with us. She was a great basketball player in
her day though.
ONC: What things or people have inspired you?
DY: I am inspired by Kay’s battle with cancer for
over 20 years as so many others have been. I am
inspired by my husband, who has such faith and
confidence in me and makes me want to do my
very best. He’s my mentor and an educator. We’ve
never had any kind of rivalry in terms of who’s doing
better in their career. He is just always there for me,
encouraging me and giving me wise council. He lets
me do my thing and supports me, and I would have
never been able to do what I am doing otherwise.
We’ve been married for 28 years this month.
ONC: What’s coming up for you this year?
DY: The year before I came home, N.C. State
finished No. 89 in the country, and we want to be a top
25 athletics program, so who we hire as our coaches
is so important. That’s why I am so pleased Coach
Godfrey has done so well in men’s basketball, and
we have hired a couple of others and they are going
to do very well in their chosen fields and sports. But
this is all about raising our academic outcomes, and
most importantly, our graduation rates and achieving
in the ACC on a national level competitively as well
as going back to what I mentioned earlier, being a
ONC: What motivates you when the chips are
down, especially during game time?
DY: Our fans. They are so faithful, no matter
whether we are winning or losing, they are there. It
is hard not to want to work hard to win, so that they
will be proud.
The other thing that motivates me is my faith. I don’t
believe that I am here by accident or that Bill and I
are living in Cary by accident. I think that this is a new
season of our lives, and all of the doors opened.
48 OutreachNC • May 2012
Excerpt from “Spring Fever”
From her seat in the sanctuary of the Church
of the Good Shepherd, Annajane Hudgens
wondered if there had ever been a more flawless
day for a wedding.
Spring had arrived spectacularly early in Passcoe,
North Carolina. Only the first week in April, yet the
dogwoods and azaleas were already burst into bloom,
and the weeping cherry trees lining the walkway to the
church trailed fingertips of pale pink onto a blue and white
carpet of violets and alyssum.
It was as if the bride, the equally flawless Celia Wakefield,
had somehow managed to will perfect weather. Or perhaps
she’d specified blue skies and color-coordinated bursts of
blooms in one of her famously precise memos. If anybody
could do that, Annajane mused, it would be Celia.
Could there be a more beautiful setting? Baylesses had
been getting married at the Church of the Good Shepherd
for nearly two hundred years. Not in this grand sanctuary,
of course. The original church was a quaint, stoopshouldered
gray granite affair, with uneven oak floors,
a single Gothic-arched leaded-glass window above the
altar, and two rows of ten primitively wrought pine pews
built by black laborers from the casket factory in Moore
County, twenty minutes down the road.
Annajane could remember sitting beside her best
friend, Pokey, in the Bayless family pew after countless
Saturday-night sleepovers, back when they were both
still in pigtails. By then, Pokey’s grandmother had already
started her slow descent into senility, although Annajane
had not known that. Miss Pauline, for whom Pokey had
been named, seldom spoke, but she was content to sit
in church on Sunday mornings and smile and nod to the
hymns, dabbing at her cataract-clouded blue eyes with
her ever-present handkerchief and patting Annajane’s
hand. “She thinks you’re me,” Pokey would whisper,
giggling at her grandmother’s confusion and grimacing
and holding her nose when Miss Pauline passed gas,
which she did frequently.
When the “new” Church of the Good Shepherd was built
in the early ’90s, with reproduction Tiffany stained-glass
windows, solid cherry pews, and a custom-built German
pipe organ, the old church was renamed the Woodrow
Memorial Chapel in memory of Pauline Woodrow, who
died in her sleep the year Pokey and Annajane turned
Annajane’s own wedding had been held in the chapel,
the one concession her new in-laws made to what they
considered Annajane’s “quaint” ideas. Since she’d paid
for the wedding herself, she’d insisted on having an
intimate affair, just family and close friends, fewer than
forty people, with Pokey as her only attendant. It had
Available in bookstores June 5
rained the November evening of her nuptials, and at the
time she’d considered it wildly romantic that the loud
thrum of the rain on the church’s tin roof threatened to
drown out the wedding march played on the chapel’s
original wheezy pump organ.
Had it been only seven years ago? Sometimes she wasn’t
sure any of it had really happened at all, that it wasn’t
something she’d just remembered from a long-ago dream.
Today’s affair was nothing like Annajane’s modest
wedding. The sanctuary was at capacity—beyond
capacity, if you went by the county fire code, which said
the church could hold five hundred people. It seemed to
Annajane that every living person who had ever known
or done business with the Bayless family, or even just
sipped a bottle of their Quixie cherry soft drink, had
crammed themselves into one of the polished wooden
pews beneath the soaring exposed rafters of the imposing
Annajane felt her eyelids droop now. It was too warm in
the church, and the scent of the lilies and roses banking
everything that didn’t move was overpowering. She’d
had almost no sleep the night before, and not much more
sleep the night before that. And, yes, she’d had herself a
good stiff drink, Quixie and bourbon on the rocks, back
at the house, after she’d finished dressing and before
she’d left for the church. She closed her eyes, just for a
moment, felt her chin droop to her chest, and the next
moment, she felt a sharp elbow dig into her ribs.
Pokey had managed to wedge herself into the pew.
“Wake up and slide over!” she ordered.
Annajane’s eyes flew open, and she looked up, just in
time to see Sallie Bayless, seated in the front row, two
pews ahead of them, turn and shoot Pokey a stern look
of warning. Sallie’s gleaming auburn hair shone in the
candlelit church. She was sixty-four, but still had the dewy
complexion, sparkling brown eyes, and slender figure of a
woman twenty years younger. Now, those eyes narrowed
as they took in Pokey’s tardy and disheveled appearance.
continued page 49
Mary Kay Andrews
Mary Kay Andrews is the author of
the “New York Times” bestselling “The
Fixer Upper,” “Savannah Breeze” and
“Blue Christmas,” as well as “Deep
Dish,” “Hissy Fit,” “Little Bitty Lies” and
“Savannah Blues.” Visit her website,
OutreachNC • May 2012 49
Pokey gave her mother a grin and a finger wave, and
Sallie’s head swiveled back around, eyes front, head held
high, the Bayless pearls, a double strand, clasped firmly
around her neck.
Annajane offered an apologetic smile to the elderly
woman to her right. The woman frowned, but begrudgingly
inched aside to allow the new arrival to be seated.
As usual, Pokey Bayless Riggs took no notice of the stir
she’d caused. She’d been causing a stir nearly every day
of her thirty-five years, and today, her brother’s wedding
day, was no different.
The boatneck collar of Pokey’s expensive new red
silk jacket had slipped off her right shoulder, exposing
a leopard-print bra strap and an unseemly amount of
cleavage. Little Clayton was two years old, but Pokey was
still struggling to lose her baby weight. She’d managed to
pop one of the jacket’s rhinestone buttons, and the tight
silk skirt had somehow twisted around so that the zipper
was now in the front, rather than on the side. She was
bare-legged, which was a scandal in and of itself, but
now Annajane noticed that her best friend had ditched
the Sallie-mandated sedate dyed-silk slingback pumps in
favor of a pair of blinged-out silver flip flops.
Pokey’s thin, poker-straight blond hair had already lost
its beauty-salon bounce, and now hung limply on either
side of her full pink cheeks. Her lipstick was smeared.
But her eyes, her amazing cornflower-blue eyes, glinted
“Busted!” Annajane whispered, not daring to look at her
“Christ!” Pokey muttered. “This is so not my fault. I
couldn’t find a parking spot! The church lot’s full and the
whole block is lined with cars on both sides of the street. I
had to leave the Land Rover clear down the block in front
of the gas station and run all the way here.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be up there with your mom and
everybody else in the family?” Annajane asked. “I mean,
you are the groom’s only sister.”
“Screw that,” Pokey said swiftly. “I refuse to make nice
with that woman. Mason knows I don’t like her. Mama
knows it too. I’m taking a moral stand here.”
“Who the hell are all these people anyway?” she asked,
glancing around at the packed church and zeroing in
on the bride’s side of the aisle. “Not family, right? Since
poor lil’ Celia is an orphan, and the only family she could
produce is that elderly great aunt staying over at Mama’s
house. Did Celia charter a bus or something?”
Annajane shrugged. “You’re apparently the only person in
Passcoe who doesn’t think that Celia Wakefield is the best
thing since flush toilets and sliced store-bought bread.”
“Don’t give me that. You hate her as much as I do,”
Pokey said under her breath.
“Not at all,” Annajane replied. “I’m happy for them.”
“Yippy-frickin’-skippy,” Pokey drawled. “Happy, happy,
happy. It’s fine for you. In less than a week, you’ll pack up
your U-Haul and head for Atlanta and your nice new life
without even a glance in the rearview mirror. New man,
new job, new address. But where does that leave me?
Stuck here in stinkin’ Passcoe, with my mama, my evil
brother Davis, and good ole Mason and his new bride,
Cruella de Vil.”
“Poor, poor Pokey,” Annajane mocked her right back.
“Richest girl in town, married to the second richest man
“Third richest,” Pokey corrected. “Or maybe fourth.
Davis and Mason have way more money than Pete,
especially since people quit buying furniture made in
“Speaking of, where is Pete?” Annajane asked, craning
her neck to look for him. Instead of spotting Pokey’s tall
redheaded husband, Pete, her eyes rested on another
tardy couple, Bonnie and Matthew Kelsey, hurrying up
the right-side aisle of the church.
Bonnie Kelsey’s eyes met Annajane’s. She blushed,
and looked away quickly, clutching Matthew’s arm and
steering him into a pew as far away from Annajane’s as
she could manage in the overcrowded church.
Pokey saw the maneuver for what it was. “Witch,” she said.
“It’s all right,” Annajane said smoothly. “I mean, what do
you expect? Matt and Mason play golf every week. From
what I hear, Bonnie and Celia get along like a house
afire. Best friends forever! Anyway, Bonnie’s not the only
one to sign up for Team Celia. Every woman in this room
has been staring daggers at me since I walked into this
church. I knew when I agreed to come today that it would
“Awkward?” Pokey laughed bitterly. “It’s freakish, is
what it is. Who else but you would agree to show up at
her ex-husband’s wedding?”
Copyright © 2012 by Mary Kay Andrews
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50 OutreachNC • May • May 2012 2012
This is the month
we officially honor
mothers.In reality, it’s
something we should be doing
all year, not just one day in May.
In 1868, Ann Jarvis of Grafton,
W. Va., first proposed a day honoring mothers of sons
lost in the Civil War. Her hope was that reconciliation
between mothers would lead to a more general healing
after the war. Her cause proved to be an uphill battle,
and she died before she saw the first Mother’s Day
celebrated May 12, 1907 in her home church in Grafton.
Her daughter, Anna Marie Jarvis took up her mother’s
cause after her death. Finally, on May 8, 1914, Congress
declared the second Sunday in May as an official holiday
recognizing and honoring mothers.
For a few years, it was a quiet celebration. Soon,
however, commercial interests caught on to the powerful
meaning of the day and now more flowers, candy and
cards are sold for Mother’s Day than any other day. The
younger Jarvis became upset with the commercialization
of the day and actively fought against turning what she
and her mother had hoped would be a day of quiet
reflection into a commercial circus.
So, how should we celebrate Mother’s Day?
Those of us who are mothers, but no longer have
our own mothers with us, have lots of mixed feelings
Make most of Mother’s Day
about the day. There is
emptiness when you can no
longer say face-to-face, “I
love you, Mom.” There is joy
when our own motherhood is
appreciated by our children.
I may not be speaking for all
mothers, but we don’t really
need a bouquet or chocolates Over My Shoulder
when a big hug will do. (Of
course, being treated to a
brunch or dinner out is quite
acceptable, giving us a day way from the kitchen.)
One of the best ways to honor your mother is to
follow the principles she taught you. It brings great joy
to me, when I see my daughter helping out a friend.
When someone tells me that she is “just like you,” I am
very pleased. But I do want her to be her own person.
When I was growing up, I didn’t always appreciate the
comments that I was a carbon copy of my mother. Now
that I have reached maturity, I know I am a lot like her
in both appearance and mannerisms, some good, some
not so good.
There are many mothers who may have rather lonely
days --- family lives far away, or there is no family left.
Those of us who have been blessed should share our
day with others. Perhaps you have a neighbor who is
like a sister or mother
to you. Include her in
your day. Nearly all of
us have had at least
one outstanding teacher.
Send her a card to say
thanks. Our teachers
played an important part
in our formation. Aunts
are often a special part
of our lives, yet we don’t
have an official day for
them. Remember them.
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311 Teal Drive
gave our mothers life
which we then passed
on to another generation
should get special
attention. I would gladly
give up any material gift in
order to celebrate with my
mother and grandmother.
To all the mothers
out there, thanks for
OutreachNC • May 2012 51
52 OutreachNC • May 2012
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