Aging Outreach Services
Vol. 2 ISSUe 8
OutreachNC • April 2010 1
Navigating all your aging needs
‘Bless her heart’
Southern humor of
bestselling N.C. author
2 OutreachNC • April 2010
OutreachNC • August 2011 3
4 OutreachNC • August 2011
August, for many, marks those last, long days of
summer that may be savored with a trip to the
coast, mountains, somewhere in-between or simply
rocking in the porch swing as the sun begins to set.
This month, we make the quick trip to Wilmington to
set a spell with North Carolina bestselling author Celia
Rivenbark, whose latest book, “You Don’t Sweat Much
for a Fat Girl,” epitomizes Southern humor at its best.
Southerners may be known for their drawl, but
assuredly for their cuisine. The Moore County Chamber
of Commerce sets the table with its annual fund-raiser
in the Culinary Showcase where businesses compete
for top honors. With good food in mind, the Apex Rotary
works with Carrabba’s Italian Grill to add more flavor to
local Meals on Wheels deliveries. And all of this savory
food might leave you thirsty
Aging Outreach Services
Navigating all your aging needs
PO Box 2478
676 NW Broad Street
Southern Pines, NC 28388
(910) 692-9609 Office
(910) 695-0766 Fax
PO Box 2019
101-A Brady Court
Cary, NC 27512
(919) 535-8713 Office
(919) 535-8719 Fax
OutreachNC is a publication
of Aging Outreach Services, Inc.
Marketing & Public Relations
The entire contents of OutreachNC are
copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services.
Reproduction or use, without permission,
of editorial, photographic or graphic
content in any manner is prohibited.
OutreachNC is published monthly
on the first of each month.
Cover Photography by Mollie Tobias
From the Editor
Inside this Issue...
Ask the Expert.......................5
Continuum of Care..............13
Gadgets & Good Finds..........6
Grey Matter Games.............26
Mental Health Minute..........38
Over My Shoulder..............20
Senior Shorts Guest
Writer Celia Rivenbark
from her new book,
“You Don’t Sweat
Much for a Fat Girl”
Spirituality & Aging.............50
for some North Carolina wine like the muscadine and
other fruit variety of Adams Vineyards in Willow Spring,
where the family legacy grows deep on this century farm.
With all good things in moderation, stay alert and be
aware of the latest scams to avoid their negative impact
in recognition of National Fraud Awareness.
We also accentuate the positive with the pets in our
lives and the veterinarians like Diane Schaller, DVM,
who find honor in caring for our furry best friends.
Welcoming friends and guests is what three couples
do best at their respective bed and breakfast inns:
Knollwood House, A Bed of Roses and Rosemary
House, all of which could provide a perfect late summer
getaway. Each was kind enough to share a scrumptious
breakfast recipe, too. Until next month...
Life as Innkeepers
: It seems like
every time I turn
around, something bad
happens. I am 82 years
old, and I can’t seem to
get away from bad news,
terrible things happening
around me or just my
family not being helpful.
I find myself being really
negative about everything
and I shouldn’t feel this
way. Can you offer some
: Everyone must learn to manage both the
stresses caused by major life events and the
routine stresses of day-to-day life. Too much stress
may adversely affect physical health, your ability to
deal with problems, as well as your mental health
and overall happiness. Perhaps it is time to try a few
coping strategies that might help change your view.
I am sure like most people you have dealt with
loss and grief, money issues, challenging health
issues, social role changes and family frustrations.
You are the rule and not the exception. So, first of
all—you are not alone! As we gracefully age, we
are faced with a diverse array of new opportunities
to overcome. That being said, here are a few things
• Learn to be positive about social interactions
and relationships by getting involved, volunteering,
helping others or contributng to a cause. Sing in a
group, play music and relax with beautiful melodies
enjoyed by friends and family. All of these things
may help improve your self-esteem.
• Learn to be positive with your spiritual beliefs,
and exercise that expression with others who support
those beliefs such as church groups and civic groups.
• Learn to be positive with your physical capabilities
and focus on a healthy lifestyle. Perhaps walking
with friends, a water aerobics class or a seated yoga
session will help to change your perspective.
• Learn to cope with frustrating people and
circumstances with a positive spin by asking yourself
how you can turn lemons into lemonade. Helping
others will always help you.
• Learn to focus on the things you do well, and
Ask the Expert
Our experts will answer
any aging questions
you might have.
E-mail your questions to
or fax to (910) 695-0766.
Wayne Davies, MA, MS
Geriatric Care Manager
AOS Care Management
OutreachNC • August 2011 5
do them often. Perhaps
it is better to cut down
on activities that are not
your “cup of tea.”
• Learn to surround
yourself with positive
thinkers and people with
can-do attitudes. Positive
perspectives of positive
people are contagious.
Finally, the best way
to cope with all kinds of
stress is through a strong
belief in yourself and your ability to positively
deal with situations. Believing in yourself has
many positive effects on your physical and mental
health. Moreover, others receive that benefit
through your sympathy, empathy, encouragement
and positive example.
Support yourself by also seeking out
professional help and counsel. Reach out to
trusted relationships for assistance, too. You still
matter, and you still count. Your own experience
and wise counsel comes with age. I am positive
you are still relevant.
3 Moore County Locations: Pinehurst, Carthage & Southern Pines
Call 910.295.2124 today!
6 OutreachNC • August 2011
Hot enough for you? I do not like the heat, the
sun, the heat, the humidity, the heat; you get the
idea. However, I am fortunate that I do not have an
underlying condition or illness that makes tolerating the
heat even harder. Many are not so lucky, and this time
of year can be extremely debilitating.
Diseases that cause heat intolerance such as Multiple
Sclerosis (MS), make functioning in hot weather
difficult. I am not sure exactly how it happens, but I
have read in the literature that even a small increase
in body temperature of one-half of a degree can be
enough to cause problems. Imagine what these hot
days of summer can do.
Suggestions on ways to beat the heat are many.
Misting the patio, deck or pool area can lower the
outside temperature up to 20 degrees, and swimming
has been considered one of the best exercises for
those suffering from MS, because the pool water keeps
body temperature low. However, these solutions can
be expensive. Some commercial body coolers, such as
neck and wrist coolers are relatively inexpensive, but
may not be completely effective for users with MS.
The most common way to keep the body’s
temperature regulated is to use a body vest.
There are many styles of body vests
available, but they are basically broken
into two groups: active and passive
The active cooling vests have
systems that push cool liquid
through the vest via a motorized
cooling unit. There is a definite
advantage, because the cooling
is very effective. The major
disadvantage is the bulk and
weight. An active cooling vest
Cooling vests can help beat summer heat
usually requires not only
the vest, but also a separate
cooling unit. Portability may
not be practical. However,
studies suggest that even
after removing the vest, a
person’s temperature may
remain lower for about
Passive vests (pictured),
on the other hand, use
Gadgets & Good Finds
ice or gel packs placed in pockets. They can be worn
under clothing or on top of it. Because the styles differ
greatly, it is vital to do your homework before investing
in one of these vests. I have seen them used very
effectively. The prices vary widely, and it is important
to know that there are resources for those who may not
be able to afford the vest otherwise. For example, the
Multiple Sclerosis Association of America has a program
that will supply these vests to qualifying MS sufferers
who qualify. (The application can be found on their web
site, http://msassociation.org/programs/cooling; if you
don’t have access to a computer, call me at
(910) 246-5155, and I will mail an application
I urge every person with MS, or
anyone debilitated by the heat,
to consider the purchase of this
assistive device. With the proper
vest, even a person with MS can
more easily face these hot days
Hess, a certified Assistive
Technology Professional at Health
Innovations Pharmacy, can be
reached at (910) 246-5155.
Rejuvenating Fitness Services
Personal Trainer/Fitness Instructor
In-Home Personal Training Services
If you canʼt or donʼt want to go to the gym, but still want to be fit...
We will bring the gym to you!
Using Nationally Certified Personal Trainers to assist you in all fitness areas
Serving the Sandhills with
Senior Exercise & Restorative Programs
910.528.1408 | email@example.com
Moore caregiver nominations due Sept. 9
The 2nd Annual Moore
Awards offer the opportunity
to honor caregivers and
volunteers who work with
seniors. Day after day
in the life of older adults,
there are people who work
and sacrifice to make sure
that each senior has the
opportunity to have a better
quality of life.
Nomination forms are
available at right or online
Completed forms should be
submitted by Sept. 9, 2011.
Caregivers need only work,
volunteer or live in Moore
County to be nominated.
Each nominee will be
honored at a reception in
October, and the top three
finalists will be featured in
the November edition of
Gold level sponsors
are Sandhills Community
College, Penick Village and
Angel sponsors include
FirstHealth Home Care
Services, Fox Hollow Senior
Living Community, Moore
Registry, Elmcroft of Southern
Pines, and Garner Law Firm.
Helping Hands sponsors are
Health Innovations Pharmacy,
Liberty Home Care & Hospice,
Four Oaks Bank, Community
Home Care & Hospice, Mollie
Tobias Photography, Davis
Video Productions, Prime
Time Limousines, Uniquely
Chic, Better Health Massage,
AOS Hospitality House,
Carolina Eye Associates and
Crescent State Bank.
For more information on
the 2011 Caregiver Awards,
contact Rhonda Priest at
2nd Annual Moore County
Honor the people who make your life easier, better and longer. Day after day in the life of older
adults, there are people who work and sacrifice to make sure that each senior has an opportunity to
have a better quality of life. Now is the time to make sure those people finally get the recognition that
they deserve. Nominations are open to the Moore County community. Simply download the
nomination form at agingoutreachservices.com and fax, e-mail or mail the completed form to:
Caregiver Awards c/o Moore Registry, P.O. Box 2478, Southern Pines, NC 28388
Fax: 910-692-4436 or e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
NOMINATION DEADLINE IS: Friday, September 9, 2011
The Winner & Finalists will be featured in the November Issue of OutreachNC
A selection committee of community peers will review all nominees and announce the three finalists at the
caregiver appreciation reception/ceremony, October 28, 2011. The finalists will win a makeover and photo
shoot to be featured in the November issue of OutreachNC. All nominees will be honored at the reception.
*** NOMINATION GUIDELINES***
1. To be eligible for the award, the nominated person must be working or volunteering on a regular basis
with senior adults in Moore County.
2. All nominators must complete the nomination form and attach an essay describing why this nominee
deserves the award.
NOTE: Portions of the essay may be published in the November issue of OutreachNC
3. All nominations must be received by September 9, 2011.
4. Once the nomination has been received, you will be mailed/emailed a confirmation of receipt. It is your
responsibility to notify the person you nominated about the nomination. If you have not received a
confirmation two weeks prior to the deadline (September 9, 2011), please notify us immediately. Please
keep copies of all nomination materials submitted, as they will not be returned.
OutreachNC • August 2011 7
2011 OFFICIAL NOMINATION FORM
2nd Annual Moore County
Fax form to (910) 692-4436, e-mail to email@example.com
or mail to Caregiver Awards, PO Box 2478, Southern Pines, NC 28388.
Nomination deadline is September 9, 2011.
Honor the people who make your life easier, better and longer. Day after day in the life of older
adults, there are people who work and sacrifice to make sure that each senior has an opportunity to
have a better quality of life. Now is the time Fine Assisted to make Living sure those people finally get the recognition that
they deserve. Nominations are open and to the Memory Moore Care County community. Simply download the
nomination form at agingoutreachservices.com 190 Fox Hollow Rd. and Pinehurst, fax, NCe-mail or mail the completed form to:
Caregiver Awards c/o Moore Registry, P.O. Box 2478, Southern Pines, NC 28388
Fax: 910-692-4436 or e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
8 OutreachNC • August 2011
Debt, deficit and default
think almost everyone has re-evaluated their own
I financials in the last couple years. A little financial
hardship is a good incentive to correct excessive
spending, set goals to pay down debt and ensure
It may get more difficult when your numbers are in
the billions and you’re making decisions for an entire
country but it’s not necessarily much different.
It was impossible to miss the discussion on
government deficit last month; from downgrading
United States Debt to not paying Social Security
checks, the reports were severe and ubiquitous.
For once all the politicians and reporters agreed on
something: fiscal policy must be changed.
Currently, spending is higher than earnings, meaning
each year’s deficit increases the overall debt. The
quick solution is to raise the debt limit, currently
$14.29 trillion. If the debt limit does not get raised, the
government may be forced to choose between items
such as defense or social security income, either of
which would be detrimental to our economy.
So if all we have to do is raise the debt limit, what’s
all the debate about? Congress has authorized
raising the debt ceiling ten times already in the
past decade, and eventually, tax revenue won’t
be enough to pay off the interest on that debt, not
to mention other expenses like Social Security.
So raising the debt ceiling also increases our
expenses. It does not take budgeting brilliance to
see that is not a good solution.
Although raising the debt limit is not a permanent
solution and could worsen our current financial
condition, Congress will most likely include this as
part of the solution because it is the quickest way to
When we cannot make
payments, we go into default.
Standard and Poor’s, a bond
rating agency, has given U.S.
Debt a AAA rating (the
highest safety rating
possible) for 70 years
which has allowed us
to borrow from other
countries at minimal cost. During a default, interest
rates we pay tend to go up to counterbalance the
risk of investment. Even a one percent increase in
our debt would increase the interest due by $140
billion each year, causing innumerous other financial
difficulties for the country.
The only long-term options are to increase tax
revenue or substantially decrease government
spending, and we have two political parties arguing
which is the lesser of two evils. In all likelihood, the
solution is not either/or, it’s both.
Like all the families who have faced financial
difficulty in the last couple years, diligent budgeting
and some sacrifices have made it possible to
overcome the problems. There is no easy solution
nor will it be fun, but part of being financially
responsible is making the prudent decisions for a
Clement is a financial planner with Clement Capital
Group. She offers securities and advisory services as
an investment adviser representative of Commonwealth
Financial Network(R), a member firm of FINRA/SIPC a
Registered Investment Advisor. She can be reached at
(910) 693-0032 or at email@example.com.
OutreachNC • August 2011 9
10 OutreachNC OutreachNC • August 2011 • August 2011 Retirement
community defends Culinary Cup
Chicken, potato and pumpkin. For Penick
Village, a continuing care retirement
community in Southern Pines, it came
down to these three ordinary ingredients for their win in
the 2010 Culinary Showcase in Southern Pines.
Of course, the chicken was a Cornish hen in an applecranberry
compote, and the potatoes —a crispy wrap
zinged with horseradish— were mere dressing for the
dish’s star, perfectly seared scallops. A moist pumpkin
cake frosted generously with cream cheese icing topped
off Penick Village’s entry into the contest.
Started in 2007 and organized by the Moore County
Chamber of Commerce, the Culinary Showcase brings
area restaurants together under a single roof for one night.
Through this event, the chamber hopes to entice new
customers for its members – one taste bud at a time.
“The quality of restaurants in Moore County is
astounding,” says Linda Parsons, vice president of the
chamber. “The showcase gives the community a time to
come together and sample all their foods while enjoying
a fun night out.”
The competitive aspect of the showcase adds to the
event’s appeal. Chefs whisk their best creations to the
judges, who are food professionals and local people of
note. They rate the dishes on taste, presentation and
originality. Awards are given for best entrée, appetizer
and dessert with the Culinary Cup going to the eatery
with the highest score in all three categories.
Last year’s win for Penick Village came as a surprise to
many. Penick’s win against formidable opponents shows
how far institutional food has come.
“You just don’t think of a rest home, for lack of a better
word, as having that kind of cuisine,” says Tom Cruce,
a Pinehurst man who enjoys the showcase every year.
“The dish was excellent. I’d order it at a restaurant.”
Jeff Hutchins, chief executive officer of Penick
Village, says the showcase gave executive chef Scott
Margolis a chance to put his creations up against
“They’ve got great vision,” Hutchins says of Margolis
and his team. “Scott is committed to making sure our
residents get a great dining experience. I was thrilled the
dining team got that honor.”
On top of the official judging, everyone who attends
the showcase gets a chance to weigh in on the best
food. The People’s Choice award goes to
the eatery with the most votes. In the event’s
first year, Rhett Morris of Rhett’s Restaurant
in Southern Pines, took
home that prize. Last year,
his chicken cordon bleu
By Melanie Coughlin
Special to OutreachNC
with collard greens received rave reviews from the more
than 300 guests.
“It’s fun to compete against the big boys,” Morris says
of the larger restaurants that participate in the showcase.
Indeed, the challenge of going up against renowned
chefs like those at the Carolina Dining Room and Elliott’s
seems to be part of the appeal for smaller restaurants to
compete. Bonnie Black, owner of The Market Place in
Southern Pines, is entering the Culinary Showcase for
the first time this year.
“I’m a competitive person,” says Black, who is
known for her chicken salad on a croissant. “I want to
get the word out that we’re not just a sandwich shop.
We have really good food, and we can compete with
the big restaurants.”
Due to its growth, the Culinary Showcase moves to the
Carolina Hotel this year. It will cap off Pinehurst Resort’s
23rd annual Labor Day weekend Food and Wine Festival.
“They (the Moore County Chamber of Commerce)
have established a brand for the Culinary Cup and have
a really great format to showcase some of the better
restaurants in the area,” says Kerry Andrews, director
of marketing communications for the resort. “We felt it
would be a great fit.”
The Carolina Dining Room will still showcase its dishes
but has bowed out of the competition this year because
of its home turf advantage.
Bonnie Black is ready no matter who the competition is.
“Yeah, we can hang with the big boys,” she says
This year, the “big boys” will include Penick Village, no
doubt eager to hold on to its shiny Culinary Cup.
The showcase will be held on Sunday, September 4 from
6 to 8:30 p.m. Tickets are $50 per person and available at
www.moorecountychamber.com or by calling (910) 692-
3926. A portion of the proceeds go to scholarships for
students in Sandhills
culinary arts program
with the remaining
Penick Village executive chef Scott Margolis will have
to top last year’s cornish hen to hold on to the Culinary
Cup at the 2011 Culinary Showcase on Sept. 4.
Photos courtesy of David Nicoll Photography
Make time for activities that mean most
This time of the year I am always reminded of going
back to school and those extracurricular activities
that came with it. Once the responsibilities of career
and children have passed, there is more time for the fun
things of life again.
I see my Dad, who is retired, playing cards with friends,
attending church breakfasts, gardening and eating out
with friends on a regular basis.
My grandmother, at 85 years old, has a social group
that gathers once a month. They take turns meeting
at someone’s house or going out to eat. They all have
different life experiences and are at different places in
their lives too, but they remain close and supportive.
add spice and meaning
to our lives. Most include
spending time with
other people. As people
age, isolation may occur.
Isolation can cause
depression. The symptoms
of depression affect every
aspect of life, including
energy, appetite, sleep,
interest in work, hobbies
Interaction with people
and getting the support
you need plays a big
role in lifting the fog of
depression and keeping it
away. You may not feel like
reaching out, but make an
effort to connect to others
and limit the time you are
alone. If you cannot get
out, invite loved ones to
visit you, or keep in touch
over the phone or e-mail.
Lots of group activities
are available for seniors to
attend. Local park systems
often have different
groups offering a variety of
activities. Churches, travel
agents and community
centers are also places to
start the search for what
group activity fits your
Whether you are attending a
church meeting, a garden club
or joining a bus tour to see
major league baseball games
all over the United States,
enjoy your extracurricular
OutreachNC • August 2011 11
Murr, Community Educator
at Preferred Living Solutions,
a care management team, can be
reached at (919) 535-8713 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
12 OutreachNC • August 2011
Nothing says summertime
quite like a ripe and juicy
tomato. I can remember
as a child having them all day
long. At breakfast, we would
have grits, eggs, bacon and sliced
tomatoes. Then for lunch, it
was a tomato sandwich, and
dinnertime brought stewed
tomatoes with squash and
onions. I did not particularly
like tomatoes as a child, but if they were growing in
the garden, we were eating them. As I got older my
taste for them developed, and now I look forward to
them each year.
Tomatoes are really a simple food. You can eat
them raw, grilled, broiled, boiled, canned, sautéed
or fried. They also happen to be healthy and have
many nutritional qualities. They actually are better
for you than apples. They are low in calories and fat,
but are a rich source of dietary fiber, minerals and
vitamins. Tomatoes help control cholesterol, aide in
weight reduction, supply great antioxidants, contain
lycopene which helps protect your skin and are very
high in potassium and vitamins A and C.
There are over 1,000 varieties of tomatoes grown
by local farmers as well as home gardeners. Tomatoes
are one of the easiest and most common things you
can grow at home. All you need is a small bed or
flower pot, and a little attention. At the restaurant,
local growers provide us with a range of tomatoes
How ‘bout them tomatoes
including: Heirloom, Early Girl, Primo Red, Goliath, Trust,
Geronimo, Sun Sugar, Plum, Better Boy and my favorites,
German Johnson or Cherokee Purple. Another popular
Southern dish is fried green tomatoes. These are simply
any variety of tomato picked before they turn red, then
sliced, battered and fried.
This month we will highlight a very simple, but
delicious Southern recipe. It is my version
of the perfect tomato sandwich.
2 pieces of your
favorite white bread
(very lightly toasted)
2 slices vine ripened
Salt and Pepper to taste
Lay tomato slices on a paper towel,
lightly salt and pepper, and let rest. Lightly toast bread
and spread mayonnaise on both slices. Place sliced
tomatoes in the middle and enjoy! Or for an upscale
taste, add fresh mozzarella cheese and basil.
Do you have your own version of the perfect tomato
sandwich? Share your special recipe by e-mailing
Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal
Chef & Catering in Southern
Pines, can be reached
at (910) 695-3663.
in Ellerbe and
Millstone Farm in
Never too early to have life in order
On a daily basis, it is evident that so many of us
have not thought about the “what if” of life. Or
we have thought about it, but we probably have
not put the appropriate documents in place or spoken to
our loved ones about it.
What would happen to your estate? Who would take
care of you, your spouse or your family? I cannot
stress the importance of having life in order regardless
An advance health care directive (also known as a living
will, personal directive, advance directive or advance
decision) are instructions given by individuals specifying
what actions should be taken for their health in the event
that they are no longer able to make decisions due to
illness or incapacity. It also appoints a person to make
such decisions on their behalf. A living will is one form
of advance directive, leaving instructions for treatment.
Another form authorizes a specific type of power of
attorney (POA) or health care proxy, where someone is
appointed by the individual to make decisions on their
behalf when they are incapacitated.
People may also have a combination of both.
Professionals often encourage having both documents to
provide the most comprehensive guidance regarding their
care. A POA is a written authorization to represent or act
on another’s behalf in private affairs, business or some
other legal matters. If a loved one is diagnosed with any
memory condition, it is even
more important to immediately
act on these decisions and
have all requests documented
legally. Choosing the perfect
individual can be difficult as you
want to choose someone who
would respect your wishes,
not theirs. Typically a child,
relative or friend is able to
fulfill the duties; however,
OutreachNC • August 2011 13
Continuum of Care
an attorney or geriatric care manager can also act as the
Throughout my everyday encounters working with
seniors and their families, there are some important
things to think about. Discussing lease agreements,
managing funds and making life changing decisions such
as a move to senior living are tasks that require proper
thought and guidance.
Although these discussions are not easy, I strongly
encourage you to think about the “what if” and have plans
in place before undue burdens are left. Each day we are
sure to have a situation that is uncontrollable, but your
end of life care should not be one of them.
Ragsdale, marketing director at Fox Hollow Senior Living,
can be reached at (910) 695-0011 or Eragsdale@5sqc.com.
14 OutreachNC • August 2011
You answer the phone...
“Hi Grandma, this is John. I’m in a bit of trouble
and need some help from you. Could you send me a
Western Union money transfer for $500 right away?”
It’s the middle of the night. The call woke you from
a deep sleep. You cannot find your glasses. You want
to help your grandson. As hard as it is to say ‘no’ to
him, that is exactly what you should do. Ask him to
call back in the morning, or to give you a number
where you can call him. More than likely, this caller
was not your grandson but instead a fraudent attempt
to take money. This type of fraud is being perpetrated
on seniors nationwide.
Unfortunately, this is just one type of telephone
and electronic fraud designed to get money and
information from unsuspecting people. Fraud does
not just happen to senior citizens, but they are by far
the largest group being targeted.
The Computer Protection Division of the North
Carolina Attorney General’s office received 21,879
complaints from state residents last year. The
complaints included health care, lending, Do Not Call
violations, telemarketing fraud, collections and credit.
Unwanted telephone calls and telemarketing fraud
were the third and fourth most common complaints.
The Federal Communications Commission has
designated Aug.1-7 as National Fraud Awareness
Week to bring attention to the many kinds of fraud
going on via both telephone and computer.
David Kirkman, assistant Attorney General for North
Carolina, is the manager of the elder fraud prevention
project. Asked if fraud was increasing, he says that
complaints to the Attorney General’s office were
“holding steady,” but that many incidents of fraud
go unreported. He offers these suggestions to help
seniors be aware of fraud and to avoid it:
• Never share your personal information (such as
your Social Security number, bank account number
or credit card information with anyone you don’t know
who contacts you, no matter whom they claim to be
• Never agree to deposit a check from someone
you don’t know and wire money back to them. While
the check may look real, it is a fake.
• Always read paperwork carefully before you sign
it or pay any money.
• Say no to “now or never” offers, and walk away
from high pressure sale pitches.
• Be very cautious about responding to telemarketers,
e-mail pitches or door-to-door sellers.
Seniors often target of fraud
• Be skeptical about
upfront fees. North Carolina
law makes it illegal to
collect advance fees for some types of work such as
foreclosure assistance and debt settlements help. In
other cases, such as for home repairs, paying the full
bill in advance is never a good idea. If you must pay
upfront, use a credit card when possible to protect
yourself in case things do not go as expected.
• It is best to do business with a company you know
or has been recommended to you by friends and
family. Check out a company before you do business
with them by calling the Consumer Protection Division
Many calls involve donations to a charity. Before
you donate, Greg Tanner, AARP associate director
for AARP North Carolina, recommends the following:
get the charity’s full name, address and telephone
number; ask how much of your donation goes to
fundraising costs; check with the state attorney
general or secretary of state to see if the charity
is registered; check a charity’s rating by the Better
Business Bureau Wise Giving Alliance online at
Other types of telemarketing fraud include offers for
credit cards with lower interest rates, free grants, or
debt consolidation services. Many of these pitches
are made using illegal robo-calls which
ask consumers to press a number to
speak with a representative. To cut
down on such calls, sign up at
www.donotcall.org or call (888)
382-1222 from the number
you wish to register.
The Federal Trade
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By Ann Robson
Special to OutreachNC
OutreachNC • August 2011 15
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16 OutreachNC • August 2011
Almost weekly, I deal with a client who is retiring
and has questions about when to take out
Medicare Part B. Most people get Part A automatically
at age 65, or before age 65 after a 24-month waiting
period on disability. When to take Part B is particularly
confusing if you are on or coming off a Group,
Retirement or Cobra Insurance from an employer. Let’s
briefly consider each one.
Group Insurance: Typically, you would take out
Part B coming off group insurance at age 65, if you
retire then. These days, many people are working
beyond age 65 to get full Social Security Benefits or
to keep a spouse covered until they reach age 65.
This was the case with my own parents. At age 65,
my dad was still working. He had a group insurance
plan with his employer, and my mother was covered
under his plan. At age 65, my mom and dad opted
out of Part B. At age 66, when dad retired and lost
his group coverage, he applied for his Part B as did
mom at age 69. There were no penalties for them
since they had creditable coverage with dad’s group
insurance and applied within eight months of losing
this coverage. (I would suggest applying three months
before losing this coverage.) They also purchased a
Medicare Supplement and Part D prescription drug
coverage at this time.
of the Month
Warm air leaking into your home
during the summer and out of
your home during the winter
can waste a substantial portion
of your energy dollars. One of
the quickest dollar-saving
tasks you can do is
caulk, seal and
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When to take out Medicare Part B
Retirement Insurance: Some
people get insurance from their
employer after they retire, and it could
continue beyond age 65. It also often
covers the spouse of the retiree. In this
case, both would take out Part B at
age 65. Original Medicare (Parts A
and B) would become the primary Medicare Update
insurance with the retirement Terri Powell Herlica
insurance being secondary
coverage, assuming both are 65. At this time, you may
also want to compare the cost and benefits of: 1) Original
Medicare, a Medicare Supplement and Part D prescription
drug coverage or 2) Medicare Advantage Plan as opposed
to Original Medicare and Retirement Insurance.
Cobra Insurance: Under federal COBRA law,
companies with at least 20 employees enrolled in a
group plan must allow former workers to buy into the
group health plan for up to 18 months. This is typically
for people under age 65 since COBRA would become
secondary insurance to Medicare after age 65. With this
plan, the former employee pays the entire premium
themselves. In this scenario, at age 65, you should take
out Part B to avoid possible late penalties associated
with delaying enrollment. Every situation is different,
but I have not had a client where it was beneficial for
them to stay with COBRA at age 65 and beyond. Instead,
they utilized Original Medicare (Parts A and B) with one
of the other Medicare choices mentioned above. COBRA
may be able to protect a spouse for up to 36 months in
Of course, this is just touching the surface of these
issues, but I hope it offers some direction in making your
choices and planning.
Herlica of the Professional Service Group, LLC is a Retirement
Healthcare Specialist and can be reached at (336) 987-2372 or
OutreachNC • August 2011 17
Book Review: Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier
At first, I was not too interested in this book, which
was written by the author of “Girl With a Pearl
Earring,” which I had enjoyed
reading. I had little interest in
fossils, either hunting for them
or reading about people who do.
However, we can always learn
something new, and in this book
Set in the early 1800s on
the cliffs of the south coast of
England, the book describes
at great length, Mary Anning,
a poor, uneducated and rather
strange young woman who
was hit by lightning as a baby. Mary has the gift
for spotting fossils no one else can see. To make
a livelihood for her family, she cleans them and
prepares them for sale or display. Daily, she scours
the cliffs near her home, looking for specimens.
One day, she and her brother hit the jackpot — they
uncovered the fossilized skull of an unknown animal,
which they identified as a crocodile although it had a
huge bulbous eye. This discovery leads to some fame
and fortune for Mary, along with some romance,
although she was treading in male-dominated waters
and was barred from the academic community, who
considered themselves superior to her.
Running interference for her is a new friend, Elizabeth
Philpott, a spinster newly come to Lyme Regis from
London and who shares her interest in searching the
beaches for fossils. Although Elizabeth, a collector of
fish fossils, is somewhat
of a prude, the two
have their interests in
they clash over several
things, they eventually
realize their friendship
is stronger than the
pettiness of society.
You will be
captivated by the
picture of the two on
the front cover of the
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18 OutreachNC • August • August 2011 2011
Family at heart
By Carrie Frye
harvest a family legacy with
“100 years of continuous
agricultural heritage.’ One
particular century farm in
Willow Spring, just outside
Fuquay-Varina in Wake
County has been in the
Adams family since the
1700s established with a
land grant from the King
of England. Over 100 acres
once produced fertile fields
of tobacco. Although the
family still leases out land
for tobacco farming, the family patriarch,
John Adams, grew his dream of having a
vineyard into a reality in 2006 by planting
muscadine grapes, the grapes first found in
“Muscadines grow here and are drought
tolerant. If you walk out in the woods, you
wouldn’t have to walk 10 feet without seeing
a muscadine vine,” explains Quincy Adams,
John’s son, who now runs the family vineyard
with his mother Joyce.
John passed away unexpectedly last
October, leaving the vineyard as a labor of
love for the family to plow ahead with. Quincy,
41, has always shared his father’s love for the
land and agriculture.
“Quincy’s heart is here on the farm,” says
Joyce, 69, who manages the tasting room,
greeting visitors with her contagious smile
and offering tastings of the family’s wines and
her own homemade jams and jellies.
“We grow all the fruit. If it doesn’t grow
on the farm, it doesn’t go in a bottle,” adds
Photos by Mollie Tobias
Joyce Adams and her son, Quincy, welcome visitors to Adams Vineyards
off N.C. 42 in Willow Spring Tuesday through Sunday to taste the family’s
collection of wines, three of which have taken honors at the North Carolina
State Fair Wine Competition. For more information, call (919) 567-1010 or
visit the web site at www.adamsvineyards.com.
Quincy with a grin.
Not only is all the fruit grown on the family’s
land, it is also tended and picked by hand.
Adams currently bottles a variety of dry, semisweet,
sweet and fruit wines as well as a red
muscadine grape juice.
“Muscadines are typically better younger,
whereas vinifera are better aged. Timing can
be crucial. One day off in fermentation can
cause too much residual sugar,” describes
Quincy of the winemaking process. “All the
fruit wines are done by hand, which makes
them extremely labor intensive.”
Since October, Quincy has had to pour
himself into winemaking, as his father did not
leave behind any recipes for the family wines.
“My flavors are totally different. I’m
much more meticulous. So it is chemistry,
horticulture and agriculture,” laughs Quincy,
who teaches viniculture or winemaking at
Wake Technical Community College as well
as viticulture, the study of grapes, at Johnson
Technical Community College.
continued page 19
OutreachNC • August 2011 19
He has been able to
implement a cold stabilization
process to remove tartrates
from the wine and reinvent
all the family wines as well
as adding four new ones,
including a dry White Oak
and Scarlett Oak, a sweet
Clara Breeze, named for his
grandmother, and a blueberry fruit wine.
Knowing the vineyard and winery processes are the
legacy that Quincy is sharing with his wife Robin, his
9-year-old daughter Regan and 10-year-old stepson TJ,
who get to participate in the picking process this year.
“Dad wanted to establish something here for future
generations,” says Quincy.
Picking the grapes leads up to the vineyard’s annual
Grape Stomp Festival, which attracted over 500 visitors
last year. This year’s stomp is set for Saturday, Sept. 17
and sure to be barrels of fun. Three rounds of stomping
produce winners that end with a stomp off with the
previous year’s winner until a new winner is declared.
“Women have won every year,” declares Joyce. “And
no, we don’t keep the stomped juice,” she adds laughing,
“we just let the kids play in it.”
The stomp kicks off a busy fall season for the vineyard
hosting monthly wine and cheese pairings and
participating in the N.C. Muscadine Harvest Festival,
Sept. 24 in Kenansville, the N.C. Seafood Festival, Sept.
30 – Oct. 2, in Morehead City and RiverFest, Oct. 7-9, in
“Right now, we are getting inventory up,” says Quincy.
Adams unique bestsellers right now are Wine Freezers,
which come in margarita, Mojito, sangria, strawberry
and peach flavors. A half bottle of wine gets added to
a small bag or a whole bottle to a large bag with water,
then frozen and poured for a refreshing summertime
wine treat. For colder months, Adams offers a bag of
mulling spices to mix with wine in a crock-pot and
served hot to warm wine drinkers from the inside out.
Aside from the winery, Adams wines are available
at the Cleveland Draft House in Garner. And now that
Joyce has secured a wholesale permit, the mother
and son team is working on
growing their niche market.
“Within two months, we will
have wines going down the
road across North Carolina,”
says Quincy. “We’re slowly
expanding the vineyard.”
The winery and tasting room
welcomes patrons, most of
whom find the vineyard on the North Carolina wine
map, to sample wines Tuesday through Saturday from
10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Sunday from 2 to 6 p.m.
“I really enjoy meeting the people that come in to
taste the wines,” says Joyce, who along with Robin
highly recommends the Papa Johnny’s White Bliss as
their current favorite. “I’m hoping to expand and retire
all in the same year and give it all to Quincy,” Joyce adds
“I always wanted to farm,” says Quincy, “and be here
on the farm.”
“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your
plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3
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20 OutreachNC • August 2011
20 OutreachNC • August 2011
Over My Shoulder
It is a sad state of affairs
when things have gotten
so bad that we need
to declare a “Happiness
Happens” month in August.
How do you define
There is a Secret Society
of Happy People that
encourages the expression
of happiness and discourages parade-raining. Paraderainers
are those who do not want to hear your happy
The Society wants to “help people recognize more
happiness and encourage them to talk about it.” The
desired side effect of this is contagious happiness.
It is not easy to define happiness. What makes
me happy may drive another person to distraction.
However, since the idea is to spread the word about
happiness, I am pleased to share my happy things.
A beautiful sunset takes my breath away and
makes me happy that I have witnessed one of
nature’s many wonderful sights. Over the years, I
have taken more sunset pictures than I can count.
Now, sunrise is another thing. I have one sunrise
picture. As a non-morning person, I do not usually
watch the sun come up.
A young child’s smile brings happiness, particularly
if the smile is meant for me by a member of my
family. There is something so innocent and trusting
about that smile. I see no reason to tell them that life
is not going to be all smiles.
Having things in my universe in a happy alignment
is always heart-warming. Sure, we all encounter
some less than happy times, but when everything
seems to be perking along the way it should; that
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is happiness. It would be a super-happy event if we
could spread happiness to those who need it most.
There is so much strife, violence, fear and hunger in
the world. We cannot fix it all, but we could fix one
person or family.
My family brings happiness to our home. We are
fortunate to be able to enjoy life, and we do try to
spread some of that good feeling around.
But let’s face it, many people will have a tough time
telling you what happiness means to them. Asking a
few questions may help:
What was your happiest moment recently?
What song makes your toes tap?
What TV show makes you laugh?
What is your favorite childhood food?
Who makes you smile just thinking about them?
Where was your favorite vacation?
What is your favorite holiday?
If you find happiness tough to describe, here
are 31 other words that might help get you to
a more positive state: amaze, amuse, anticipate,
borrow, celebrate, cheer, compassion, contentment,
delight, enthusiam, exuberance, fun, give, gladness,
gratitude, hope, humor, inspiration, joy, love,
nostalgic, optimistic, peace, play, relief, satisfaction,
spirituality, spontaneity, surprise, sweetness and
vitality. Share any of these feelings, and you will
add happiness to both yourself and someone else. An
idea like that could catch on!
We have a tattered copy of the Charles Schulz book
“Happiness is a Warm Puppy,” which is one of my
favorites. It lifts my heart just to leaf through it and
smile at the pictures.
Happy Happiness Month!
E-mail Robson at email@example.com.
915 Pee Dee Rd • Aberdeen
The 5th Annual Summer Academy: The War Between
the States—150 Years Since Fort Sumter at
Sandhills Community College (SCC) began on a Monday
and ran through Thursday entertaining a record number
of attendees. College President Dr. John Dempsey
engaged the audience and enlightened the participants
of the politics leading up to the Civil War. Actress and
storyteller, Joan Leotta portrayed the aunt of Belle Boyd,
a Confederate spy during the era leaving the audience
spellbound with her humorous rendition of the aunt’s
perception of Belle’s exploits. Professor Tim Haley
provided a musical tribute of the era’s patriotic tunes in
the pack house of the Malcolm Blue Farm and the event
closed with Chef Warren Lewis’ culinary interpretation
of a period meal during the with Johnny cakes, chicken,
rice, swamp cabbage and blueberry cobbler.
“This mentions just a few presentations. The list goes
on,” says Lori Williams, director of community education
and outreach and coordinator of the event.
The Summer Academy has an advisory committee
consisting of Connie Atwell, Kay Bozarth, Florence
Fick, Pat Green and Rosemary Zuhone, all from Moore
County. The committee meets in December to begin
brainstorming for the summer event.
OutreachNC • August 2011 21
Summer Academy participants declare program a success
“ A c c o l a d e s
expressed on the
what every speaker
seemed to elude to
that the Civil War
was fought over
politics and money,
and Lynch was the perfect closing to a wonderful week,”
says Lois Holt of Southern Pines.
For more information, contact Williams at (910) 246-
4943 or firstname.lastname@example.org. A photo gallery of the
event can be found at www.sandhillscommunitycollegece.
shutterfly.com and video clips at www.youtube.com/
SCCCONED. View the entire SCC Continuing Education
fall semester schedule at www.sandhills.edu/coned.
22 OutreachNC • August 2011
Rotary serves up
thrills on wheels
By Melanie Coughlin
Special to OutreachNC
Once a month, Ethelene
Lassiter eats a nice
tenderloin and salad from
Carrabba’s Italian Grill in Apex. It
is delivered right to her house by
two chipper men, both members
of the Rotary Club of Apex. The
dinner is a pleasant change from
the everyday meals delivered by
Meals on Wheels of Wake County.
Ethelene appreciates every
meal —foods she likes such as
collard greens, ribs, barbecue and
beans— but she likes the food
from Carrabba’s best. That one
special meal was the brainchild
of Rotarian John Cicero. Members
of his Rotary regularly delivered
dinners for Meals on Wheels,
and Cicero was the club’s most
enthusiastic volunteer, taking
more shifts than any of his peers.
He says he takes seriously Rotary’s
edict to put service above self, and
he saw a way to do that in Meals
The organization dates back to World War II, when
the first meals were delivered in canteens to British
servicemen. In the United States, Meals on Wheels
formally launched in Philadelphia in the 1950s. Today,
all 50 states have some sort of Meals on Wheels. Though
not every program is affiliated with the official Meals on
Wheels Association of America, all provide free or lowcost
meals to seniors daily. Meals on Wheels of Moore
County delivers not only to seniors but to anyone who
“As good a program as it is, the food is kind of bland
because it is going to people who can’t handle a palate
of spicier foods,” Cicero says. “After delivering for a while,
Photo by Mollie Tobias
Carrabba’s Italian Grill proprietor Andrew Craft, left, hands off Carrabba’s meals to Apex
Rotary Club members, Jason Rackley and John Cicero, for their monthly Meals on Wheels
deliveries, which allows both entities to give back to the Apex community.
I thought, ‘I’d love to take these people some real food.’”
Cicero approached Carrabba’s then-manager Eric
Anderson about donating a meal one time. It was a
natural place to make the request because the Apex
Rotary has its weekly meetings at Carrabba’s. Anderson
shocked Cicero by saying he would not donate just one
meal but would instead do it once per month. Anderson’s
own grandmother was involved with Meals on Wheels,
and he understood how the program changed seniors’
lives. After Anderson was plucked to manage a different
Carrabba’s, the new manager, Andrew Kraft, embraced
the idea immediately.
continued page 23
OutreachNC • August 2011 23
“We as a company have a commitment to our
neighbors to have an active presence in our
community,” says Kraft. “John approached me.
After he explained it, it was definitely something I
wanted to get on board for.”
Kraft makes his entire menu available to Meals on
Wheels clients. They may choose anything on the menu,
even a three-course dinner if they like.
Alan Winstead, executive director of Meals on Wheels
of Wake County, says the unique partnership between
Carrabba’s and Rotary is the only one of its kind out of
the several communities the organization serves.
“It’s certainly a partnership that could be duplicated,”
he says with a note of optimism.
It takes 125 volunteers
for Meals on Wheels of
Wake County to deliver
1,300 meals per day.
That adds up to more
than 300,000 meals
delivered each year.
The organization is
a not-for-profit with
about one-half of its
by the government and
the other half coming
from fundraisers and
“Volunteers are the
very soul of our program,”
Winstead says. “They
contribute about threequarters
of a million
dollars in in-kind support
in a year.”
partner Jason Rackley
says the pair visits with
the people on the route
for a few minutes. They
enjoy hearing about
their grandchildren and
checking in on their
Ethelene’s niece, notices
the volunteers’ kindness.
Her mother also receives
dinners from Meals on Wheels. Sherri says
the volunteers are kind and always make a
point of asking if her mother needs anything.
Winstead says he thinks the volunteers get as
much out of the relationships as they give, and
“It’s very rewarding for us, too,” says Rackley.
Meals on Wheels serves multiple areas in the region.
For more information, call (919) 708-4181 in Lee County,
(910) 692-6384 in Moore County, (910) 272-5055 in
Scotland County and (919) 387-6336 in Wake County.
Volunteers are always needed. Learn more by visiting
24 OutreachNC • August 2011
Once again, I am
adding to the
long list of things I
should no longer try at home.
Mountain biking. I’m sure on
hardpacked trails of . . . say,
a mile or so and FLAT, it
can be fun, but like many
other of life’s activities,
there is a fine line between
a good time and wishing you were dead. Day before
yesterday, I crossed that line.
It was a cool day, no breeze, and both my husband
and I had the day off —a combination for disaster,
especially the part where we’re both off.
My husband is a thrill-seeker, which means he
always looks for trouble. So much so that if there was
a king of thrill seeking he would be it. When we go out
to have fun, if he doesn’t see the bright lights and hear
the dead relatives calling, it hasn’t been a good time.
For me, a near death experience in no way enhances
my day off, and mostly, that’s due to the possibility of
Some people have memories of walks on moonlit
beaches. I remember the time we slid down a mountain
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and their families with all aspects of aging.
Beware of mountain biking in sand
until tree branches stopped us just short of a cliff. Then
there was the offshore trip. We ran into the Pacific
Ocean’s version of the perfect storm. Thirty-six hours
of screaming winds, raging 30-foot seas while we
drifted toward Japan, and I hurled the entire contents
of my colon. Ah . . . the good life.
And so we got out the mountain bikes, whose use
had pretty much been, up to this point, restricted to
city streets (and not ones in the mountains either).
Our destination was a lake four miles down a one-lane
sand track into the wilderness. Note: the use of the
word “sand.” Maybe I should add “dry” sand, very dry,
in several long stretches. And the sand was thick, very
thick and loose like the kind you walk through up by
the dunes and your legs ache. That kind.
It was fun for about the first 15 seconds. I had the
thrill of moving and birdsong and dappled shade
surrounded me. I felt powerful, and then it started
getting hard to move the pedals in a circle, which
would also move the tires in a circle and propel me
As my bike wobbled, my husband yelled, “Put it in
the lowest gear.”
Besides the fact that I don’t know what that means
as I just flip the gears all over the place until it’s easy
to pedal, I believed it was in the “lowest gear.” Unless,
of course, “lowest” means harder to pedal, and he was
trying to kill me.
My legs finally got “warmed up.” They were really
burned up, but what with the heavy breathing, and
sweat pouring off my person, what’s the difference?
“See? It’s getting easier now,” My husband said,
I would’ve responded, but the options were breathe
and pedal or speak and fall off bike, which did happen
every time the sand got thick enough and the pedals
wouldn’t move at all. We actually had to walk. Did you
know it takes longer to walk a bike than to simply
walk? Scientifically proven.
I would have quit and walked back to the starting
point, but my beet-colored husband, sweating like a
large piggy in the 90 degree heat, proclaimed he was
having fun. Got to the lake, got back and I remember
nothing in between. My legs sure do, but they ain’t
talking. Ah, good times!
Cohea, a freelance writer, can be reached by e-mailing
Five important estate planning documents
It may be the subject matter —death, incapacity and
taxes— that causes us to avoid estate planning.
However, the fact is that, no matter what your age or how
much wealth you’ve accumulated, you need an estate
plan to protect yourself, your loved ones and your assets
— both now while you’re still active as well as after your
death. Having an effective estate plan is one of the most
important things you can do for your family.
Being organized may make your meeting with your
attorney more productive and may expedite the planning
process. But before visiting with your legal counsel, you
need a basic understanding of the documents he or she
may recommend for your plan.
1. Will. A will simply provides instructions for distributing
your assets to your family
and other beneficiaries
upon your death.
2. Durable power of
attorney. A power of
attorney is a legal document
in which you name another
person to act on your behalf.
This person is called your
agent or attorney-in-fact.
You can give your appointed
agent broad or limited
3. Health care power of
attorney. A durable power
of attorney for health care
authorizes someone to
make medical decisions for
you in the event you are
unable to do so yourself.
4. Living will. A living will
expresses your intentions
regarding the use of lifesustaining
the event of a terminal
illness. It expresses what
you want but does not give
anyone the authority to
speak for you.
5. Revocable living
trust. By transferring
assets into a revocable
trust, you can provide for
continued management of
your financial affairs during
your lifetime (when you’re
incapacitated, for example),
at your death and even for
generations to come.
Once you have executed the
appropriate documents for your
planning needs, you should
review them periodically to
ensure they remain up to date.
Baker, a financial advisor with
Wells Fargo Advisors in
Pinehurst can be reached at
OutreachNC • August 2011 25
Wells Fargo Advisors does not provide legal or tax
advice. Be sure to consult with your tax and legal advisors
before taking any action that could have tax consequences.
Any estate plan should be reviewed by an attorney who specializes in estate planning and is licensed to practice law in
your state. Trust services available through banking and trust affiliates in addition to non-affiliated companies of Wells Fargo
Advisors. Investments in securities and insurance products are: NOT FDIC-INSURED/NOT BANK-GUARANTEED/MAY LOSE
VALUE. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells
Fargo & Company. ©2010 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.
State-of-the-art wound healing centers
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Every wound has its unique set of circumstances. FirstHealth of the Carolinas’ Wound Care
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by Medicare/Medicaid, HMOs, and other private insurance plans. We are experts at caring for people
whose open sores have resisted traditional treatment.
For more information, call (910) 715-5901 in Moore County or (910) 417-3636 in Richmond County.
James Michael Baker
26 OutreachNC • August 2011
There are a few things you can do to specifically ward off
memory loss. Most importantly, EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN!
HOW TO PLAY
• Every row of
9 numbers must
include all digits
1 through 9
• Every column
of 9 numbers
must include all
digits 1 through 9
• Every 3 by 3
subsection of the
9 by 9 square
must include all
digits 1 through 9
See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 28
Rearrange the letters in each word
below to spell the names of words
pertaining to National Dog Day.
1. Takes off
6. Gillette product
13. Styled with
15. Pigeons’ housing
16. Animal fat
17. Barely get, with
18. More disgusting
20. ___ v. Wade
21. Actress Sorvino
23. Safari sight
24. Oil source
25. Cavern, in poetry
27. ___ and outs
31. Carbon residue (pl.)
32. Mass of developing
34. Sing like Bing
39. Bake, as eggs
40. Action film staple
41. Pound sounds
43. High school dance
46. Anger, with “up”
48. Summertime (2
55. Child’s movable
walking assist (pl.)
56. Internet seller
57. Eye sores
58. Doesn’t ignore
1. Tobacco use
2. Turns to show other
3. “___ we having fun
4. R-rated, maybe
5. Use elbow grease on
6. Isuzu model
7. Gulf V.I.P.
10. What a cobbler
12. Print using metal
plate and acid
19. Extra large
22. Painting, for one
24. Panasonic rival
26. Overthrow, e.g.
30. Carbonium, e.g.
31. “Do the Right
Thing” pizzeria owner
33. Folded like a fan
35. Mob disbursement
law (2 wd)
39. Bit of parsley
45. Former capital of
An alternative to traditional LTC insurance
Fortunately, many seniors have saved a nest egg for
retirement, some of those dollars specifically set
aside for late-in-life health care needs. And deservedly
so, as the most recent reported cost of Assisted Living
facilities in North Carolina is $32,000 per year and
average Nursing Home costs are $72,000 per year.
Current statistics provided by the U.S. Dept. of Health
and Human Services reveal that about 70 percent
of individuals over age 65 will require some type of
long-term care (LTC) services during their lifetime and
over 40 percent will receive care in a nursing home.
Men are averaging a 2.2-year stay and women about
a 3.7-year stay. Take these figures and calculate an
expected rise in health care costs and ten years from
now, each of us may be looking at a potential total LTC
health care bill of $200,000 or more.
Despite the fact that someone might tell us we have
a 70 percent chance of needing LTC services, as an
individual, our chance of needing LTC will be either 0
percent or 100 percent. We will either need assistive
long-term care, or we won’t. For this reason, one of
the biggest objections to purchasing any type of LTC
coverage is the aspect of, “What if I pay premiums
for years and never use the coverage? Then I’ve lost
all my money.”
Well now, for those that have set aside savings for
a possible LTC event, there is a solution. Due to the
Pension Protection Act of 2006 and taking effect in
January 2010, a significant advantage is available to
an account owner, who chooses to reposition a portion
of their financial assets into this relatively new product.
It is an annuity that offers expanded coverage for LTC
costs. This annuity offers a fixed, tax-deferred rate
of return (currently in the two to three percent range)
and should the need for LTC occur, the policy offers a
benefit to double, triple or quadruple the initial deposit
depending upon the insurance carrier and the amount
of time the policy is owned. Possibly the most beneficial
aspect of this product is when LTC services are never
needed; the account holder (or their beneficiary) simply
receives their initial deposit back, plus interest.
Most people who are purchasing these types of policies
are ones who have indeed saved for the potential LTC
event. They are taking deposits from their savings
(possibly a Money Market or Certificate of Deposit/CD)
and repositioning those dollars into an annuity with LTC
benefits. There is a minimum deposit into these types
of annuities, typically $25,000 to $50,000 depending on
the insurance carrier.
Another popular funding option for the LTC annuity
is through a 1035 rollover provision. The “1035
exchange” of cash value
in a current annuity,
rolled to the new annuity,
allows cash value to be
preserved and placed into
a new LTC annuity without
tax implications or loss in
value. The account
holder still has an
annuity, but now with
the added benefit of
OutreachNC • August 2011 27
doubling or tripling their dollars in case they are
needed for LTC health care.
Granted it takes significant dollar amounts to fund the
LTC annuity, but many people have already set aside
dollars for possible health care costs. By repositioning
assets into a LTC Annuity, if long-term care is needed,
your dollars have the potential to increase significantly,
but just as importantly, when LTC is not needed, you
don’t risk losing your hard-earned money.
Donner, CRPC, is a Chartered Retirement Planning
Counselor, has a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, is licensed
in LTC and is NAIC Partnership Certified. She can be reached
at (919) 460-6076 or email@example.com .
Please note that the information given here should not be construed as tax
advice and that you should consult your own personal tax advisor for your
Do you need help caring for a
spouse or parent?
Personal Care | Private Duty
Elizabeth Donner, CRPC
Our caregivers are experienced, self-employed, independent contractors.
We interview each applicant and do reference, education & background checks.
28 OutreachNC • August 2011
Remember when you were
first learning how to drive
a car? One of the first things you
possibly did was listen to your
friends, family or other advisors
to determine the simple rules of
the road. Perhaps before you took
your final test you went down to
the Department of Transportation,
and obtained a rulebook and
read through it just once. I would
suggest that you have almost followed the same basic
steps when you learned to play bridge. You learned
from your friends and other advisors, but I bet you never
even cracked open the “Laws of Duplicate Bridge”.
Knowing some of the basic laws of bridge can be
helpful, as your more “road tested” opponents will
know them. Those more experienced opponents will
invariably call the director when you happen to step
over the line. Don’t worry, we all do it, and we’ll all
do it again –all we can do is be prepared for when
One of the rules that often enters into play is Law
16 that deals with “Unauthorized Information.” Here’s
an example: You open Two Hearts, weak. Your left
hand opponent passes. Your partner passes, and your
right hand opponent decides to balance on their 9 high
card points. Your right hand opponent COULD (but not
necessarily) be guilty of acting on the information that
your left hand opponent wanted to bid, but could not
really decide on what to bid. They must pretend their
partner passed in tempo, and they need to be equally
sure that the call they made would have been made in
the absence of any break in tempo. Call the director
Playing bridge by the laws
when there has been a significant break in the tempo
of the auction followed by a PASS.
Another rule that you should be familiar with is a
lead out of turn –Laws 53 through 56. Whether at the
beginning of the play, or in the middle of the hand, you
should all be familiar with the procedure that follows
Laws 29 and 30 deal with “Calls out of Rotation”
covering infractions like opening out of turn, or making
a bid in the middle of the auction when it wasn’t your
turn to bid. You will always have the right to accept
these bids, and it is most often the wrong decision to do
so. Law 27 deals with insufficient calls, and before you
request your opponent to make a bid sufficient, you may
choose to accept the call, and perhaps make a bid at
a lower level than you may have otherwise needed to.
Sometimes, but not always, infractions at the table
can help you, and you are within the laws to benefit
from your opponents mistakes. Unfortunately, you
may not benefit from your own mistakes, such as your
partner’s hesitation, making you choose an alternative
action from the logical one.
Bridge is a timed event. The laws state that you
should not prolong play with tactics such as playing the
tricks out when you know you have all the remaining
tricks. Do your best to claim (after stating a line of
play) and get onto the next hand as expediently as
possible. It is all in the “Laws of Duplicate Bridge.’ The
2008 edition of this rulebook is available at the web
Be sure to have a look.
Have a bridge question, ask Nancy Dressing of
Nancy’s Game in Southern Pines. She can be reached
by e-mailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
Grey Matter Answers
Regular check-ups best medicine in women’s health
Living life as a woman comes with
plenty of perks such as great fashion
and a fantastic sense of intuition,
among other things. On the other hand, being a
woman also means having specific health needs. From
heart disease, cancer and osteoporosis to issues as a
result of autoimmune diseases, women need to be
educated about gender-specific health issues.
Women and men share many of the same diseases,
but have very different experiences with them. Women
also tend to suffer from certain diseases at a higher
rate than men. These diseases include osteoarthritis,
obesity and depression. In fact, women are more prone
to autoimmune conditions like lupus or polymyalgia
rheumatica (PMR) than their male counterparts.
Perhaps one of the reasons that women struggle with
health-related issues more than men has to do with
the fact that they tend to be the caretakers of others,
especially their families. Some women may ignore
a health challenge, because they have too much to
do or most likely because someone else’s needs take
precedence over their own.
Following a healthy eating plan, getting plenty of rest
and exercising regularly as well as receiving regular
checkups with a physical every year are all ways women
OutreachNC • August 2011 29
can help themselves stay healthier. Early
detection is also the best weapon in fighting
many health issues women face such as:
• Pap smear and pelvic exam: A woman should
have exams annually. If prior results were normal for
three years, then consider going every other year.
• Colonoscopy: Beginning at the age 50, once every
10 years UNLESS there is a family history of colon
polyps. Then it may be recommended at an earlier age.
• Skin cancer screening: Annually after the age of 50
or sooner if you notice discolored moles, beauty marks
or other abnormalities.
• Thyroid Hormone test: Every five years beginning
at the age 35 or sooner and more often if you have
symptoms of a thyroid condition or a family history
• Bone mineral density test: At the onset of
menopause or the age of 65. This test will be repeated
at your doctor’s discretion.
Women should celebrate their uniqueness by
ensuring they are addressing health issues in a timely
manner to lessen the risks of disease.
Pena, community rehabilitation director at Quail Haven
Village, can be reached at (910) 215-9667.
Walter’s wife called and said this:
“ Walter, don’t forget your swimsuit – water’s just fine! ”
Walter heard this:
“ Just forget your swimsuit...
won’t have mine! ”
Catch every word with CapTel® 800 or CapTel® 800i,
and you’ll never be caught with your pants down.
A free service provided by CapTel North Carolina is the solution for people with a hearing loss.
A CapTel® phone allows them to hear and read everything the person on the other line says to them!
CapTel is a registered
trademark of Ultratec, Inc.
For more information about the service
or to get a CapTel® 800 or CapTel® 800i
- (800) 233-9130
30 OutreachNC • August 2011
Puppy love good
for all ages
Pets, like people, have
stories. The Foushee
family of pets is no
By Carrie Frye
exception, with five cats and five dogs that were all
found or rescued.
Simon, a black and brown dachshund, is a puppy
mill rescue, but now acts as top dog to his mom, Gail
Foushee, 53, co-owner with her husband John of
Big Bloomers Flower Farm in Sanford. At their house
just across the road, there are two fenced garden
sanctuaries, one for the cats and one for the dogs,
where Simon can often be found chasing his playmate
Carly, a long-haired dachshund, or trailing behind Gail.
“He’s my shadow,” she says holding Simon lovingly
tucked in her arms. “When we first got him, he had
zero personality, but he had only lived in a box. When I
would leave him, he would just sit at the door. Before I
had my children, my pets were my children, and after I
had children, they are still my children,” Gail adds with
a quick laugh. “As my children have grown and become
more independent, these are the little faces that are
waiting and so happy to see me when I get home. It is
the best of both worlds to be able to work in the yard
and have my pets with me.”
With his family’s love, Simon has blossomed into one
healthy, happy dog, which Gail also attributes to her
veterinarian Diane Schaller, DVM, whose role in rescuing
animals from the puppy mill is the reason she has Simon
in her life.
“Dr. Schaller is a blessing to animals and their owners
in Lee County,” declares Gail. “She has even come out to
the house when we had a kitty with cancer.”
Schaller, 43, opened her own clinic, Willow Creek
Animal Hospital, three years ago, serves as the
Photo by Carrie Frye/OutreachNC
Gail Foushee loves her dachshunds, Carly, left, and Simon as well as
the rest of her pet family with three more dogs and five cats, and
the joy they bring to her life.
veterinarian on the Lee County Board of Health and is
still willing to make a house call when needed.
“When I was growing up, vets came out to see
livestock. Veterinary medicine is certainly changing. Ten
years ago, pets were like family, but now they are family.
Sometimes, it is just easier on the owner and the critter
to make the house call,” says Schaller smiling.
Although pets house calls are not completely out of
the ordinary, Schaller believes them to be an especially
beneficial service for a senior pet owner or an owner
with a senior pet. As family members, pets age alongside
their owners and often deal with similar aging issues.
“Getting out and walking is great for the human/
animal bond, not to mention good for the cardiovascular
health of the pet and the owner,” she says.
continued page 31
OutreachNC • August 2011 31
Photo by Mollie Tobias
Dr. Diane Schaller, DVM, owner of Willow Creek Animal Hospital in
Sanford, gives Lucy, a rescued beagle mix, a check-up. A few of her
other happy patients are seen below on page 30.
Recent studies agree, indicating that seniors who
own pets may have a reduced risk of developing heart
disease, lower blood pressure and better mental health.
“Emotional attachments with pets are amazing. They
are living our lives with us, in the kitchen with us and
sleeping where we sleep,” says Schaller, herself a mother
to four sons, three rescued dogs, three cats as well as
some exotic pets, too.
Just as with people, preventative veterinary medicine
is often key. Parasite control as well as dental care may
prevent later heart, lung and kidney diseases. Schaller
also encourages owners to learn first aid for their pets
and teaches a course in partnership with the Lee County
American Red Cross.
“For people, you call 9-1-1, but in the animal world,
owners are the first responders and can make the
difference,” says Schaller.
Schaller stays well versed in the stories of her clients
be it human, feline, canine or otherwise. She also
partners with other vets for clients who split their
retirement time between North Carolina and Florida to
have continuity of care.
“Helping keep a family member healthy is important,
and I truly enjoy my role as part of a health care team.
Hopefully, I have made a positive impact in someone’s
life.” she says. “I never forget for me that it is an honor to
be a part of people’s lives.”
32 OutreachNC • August 2011
According to the Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention, African-Americans are
more than twice as likely to have a foot or
leg amputated due to diabetes than non-Hispanic
“Many studies have shown that African-Americans
have a higher prevalence
of medical conditions that
affect healing rates, including
wounds often related to
diabetes,” says David Strom,
M.D., medical director of the
Wound Care and Hyperbaric
Center at FirstHealth Moore
Dr. Strom and the staff of
the Wound Care & Hyperbaric
Center offer these tips to help
Dr. David Strom reduce their risk of underlying
conditions for chronic wounds:
Be informed: Twice as many African-American
adults are diagnosed with diabetes by a doctor, and
Ethnicity plays role in risk for chronic wounds
they are twice as likely to die from the disease as
compared to non-Hispanic whites. Talk to your doctor
about your family history and other risk factors.
Feet first: Nearly eight out of 10 African-
Americans ages 40 and older with diabetes had a
foot examination in 2006. It is especially important
for diabetics to perform foot inspections daily and to
have their feet examined at least once a year by their
health care provider.
Step it up: Only 26 percent of African-Americans
over the age of 17 participate in a regular leisure
physical activity. Exercise and physical activity can
lead to better circulation, and improving the flow of
oxygen to wounds is an important factor in healing.
Go slow: Extra pounds can worsen conditions
that hinder wound healing and more than half of
all African-American women over the age of 19 are
categorized as obese while 37 percent of African-
American men of the same age fall into this group.
Since it takes our stomachs 20 minutes to tell our
brains that we are full, consider using teaspoons,
salad forks, children’s utensils or even chopsticks to
help you take smaller bites and eat less.
Bring it down: About 40 percent of African-
American men and women have hypertension. Help
control your blood pressure by setting aside “me”
time every day to stop multi-tasking and relax even
if it is just taking a long bath, enjoying a favorite
television show or listening to calming music.
Put it out: While cigarette smoking has declined,
nearly one in four African-American men smoke
compared to 18 percent of African-American women.
Smoking can lead to hardening of the arteries and
higher glucose and cholesterol levels in the blood.
Have it looked at: Seek treatment if a wound has
not healed in 30 days or shows signs of infection
such as an increase in pain, redness or swelling,
foul wound odor or a change in color or amount of
drainage from the wound.
For more information, contact FirstHealth Moore
Regional Hospital’s Wound Care and Hyperbaric Center
at (910) 715-5901 or visit www.firsthealth.org/wound.
Reap health benefits of volunteering
Many of us 50 years of age or better have
been raised with the view that there are
things greater than self —one of them being
community— and we have always tried to stay true to
that principle. But as we grow “better” the world keeps
getting bigger, we often feel disconnected in the midst
of our modern high-tech, social networking, facebook,
LinkedIn and tweeting cyberspace “communities.”
The good news is that each of us can still make
a difference in a very personal way, in our own
sphere, in our own backyard. Volunteering provides
this opportunity to help, to make an impact, to positively
change lives and share our gifts and talents.
Retired Senior Volunteer
volunteer, Paul Newnam
does just that by being
a volunteer instructor at
the Moore County Senior
teaching a bi-weekly
stretching class. His
classes are based on
modified Hatha yoga and
Former director of Udine
Boat Club and Philadelphia
Triathlon Club, he also
competed in masters
rowing and strength
training. Keeping himself
and others in shape is a
big commitment for Paul,
and volunteering is how
he continually shares his
exuberance for life.
What talents and
passions would you like
to share? No matter what
you are good at or what
your interests are, there
is a volunteer opportunity
waiting for you. RSVP
has hundreds of unique
opportunities The choice
Like Paul, over 600
RSVP volunteers are
actively giving back to
their communities and
reaping the dividends.
Stay true to the principles of your
life and consider volunteering!
For information on available
volunteer opportunities in Moore
and the surrounding counties,
contact Sheila Klein, director for
Moore County RSVP, at (910)
215-0900 or e-mail sklein@
moorecountync.gov. or in
Wake County, contact Kristi
OutreachNC • August 2011 33
Tally, Interim Volunteer Coordinator at the City of Raleigh’s
Community Services Department - Senior Corps Programs
Office at (919) 996-6295 or Kristi.Tally@raleighnc.gov.
34 OutreachNC • August 2011
Bless Her Heart:
By Melanie Coughlin
Special to OutreachNC
North Carolina writer Celia
Rivenbark is one-half
cultured Southern Belle and
one-half hillbilly country girl. She has
strong feelings about issues as varied
as the environment and the size of Kim
Kardashian’s engagement ring. A veteran
Methodist Sunday school teacher, she
can nonetheless cuss up a red streak.
The dualities of this bestselling Southern humor writer
whose new book, “You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl,”
comes out this month, add up to 100 percent hilarious
for her readers.
“She is laugh-out-loud funny without being vulgar or
political, and nothing and no one escapes her humor,”
says Audrey Moriarty, executive director of Pinehurst’s
Given Memorial Library. “She reminds me of a female
Jerry Seinfeld with a touch of Jill Conner Browne.”
Rivenbark is often compared to other humorists.
She has been called “Dave Barry if he were a woman”
and “Erma Bombeck if she were from the South,” but
comparisons fail to peg a writer who muses on Southern
life in a way that appeals to people everywhere. Her
weekly column is syndicated across the nation, including
Raleigh’s “News & Observer,” but surprisingly, one of the
biggest fan bases for her column is in Sacramento, Ca.
From her five books –among them bestsellers, awards
and many accolades– and decades of columns, readers
will learn things like why Miss North Carolina is too nice
to hate and how “The Sopranos” characters could never
survive in the South.
“You can’t shoot a guy full of holes on okra and
tomatoes and spoon bread,” she writes of the notorious
Photo by Mollie Tobias
Celia Rivenbark launches her book tour for “You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl” at
Quail Ridge Books in Raleigh, Aug. 16, and at McIntyre’s Books in Pittsboro, Sept. 24.
See her website www.celiarivenbark.com for new dates.
Italians in her 2004 book ‘We’re Just Like You, Only
Prettier.’ “No, you eat Southern food, and you just want
to hug your mama.”
Rivenbark, 54, is a pixie of a woman who looks twenty
years younger than she is. She lives in a purple cottage
near Wilmington’s Riverwalk with her husband Scott
and their daughter Sophie, 14. She grew up in a tiny
N.C. town and is true blue to North Carolina treasures
like Tar Heels basketball, Krispy Kreme doughnuts,
Cheerwine and vinegar-based barbecue. Gracious and
charming, Rivenbark can get by with saying things like
“Listen, darlin’… and by ‘darlin,’ I mean b----” and still
be positively adorable.
“I have a terrible potty mouth,” Rivenbark
She warns that “You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl” is
a little edgier than her previous five titles.
“With each book, I get a little rowdier so this is more
of a hard PG-13, borderline R in places,” Rivenbark says.
On the day of the book’s release, Rivenbark is giving
her premiere reading Tuesday, Aug. 16 at 7:30 p.m. at
Quail Ridge Books and Music in Raleigh. Nancy Olson,
owner of Quail Ridge, is thrilled to have the nationally
bestselling author kick off the book tour at her store.
continued page 35
OutreachNC • August 2011 35
“Having Celia Rivenbark here is like hitting a home
run!” she says. “Her books are well-written, very funny
and relevant. They absolutely sparkle.”
On book tours, Rivenbark hits all the media with
television appearances, radio interviews and signings
where she enjoys meeting her readers.
“Book tours are such a treat. I get to actually meet the
people who read my stuff, and it just feels good to know
that I gave them a chuckle,” Rivenbark says. “I’m just so
grateful for everyone who takes the time to come to a
signing because I know how many other things they
could’ve chosen to do. It’s humbling.”
Rivenbark’s life is not all glamorous media tours,
though. She balances writing with her roles as wife and
mother while also being the primary support person for
her 83-year-old mother. She and her mother, who lives
only three miles away, eat lunch together every day.
“When you’re the go-to person for an elderly
parent and a teenage daughter, it can be draining
and rewarding,” Rivenbark says, citing as an example
the time she juggled picking up her mother from
the emergency room with getting her daughter to
play rehearsal on time. “I am the poster child for the
sandwich generation. I balance it the same way every
woman does. A second at a time.”
Last year, Rivenbark’s balancing act was even more
treacherous when her husband went through six
months of chemotherapy for lymphoma. She took a
break from writing regularly for the first time in 30 years.
“I just couldn’t find ‘the funny,” Rivenbark says of that
dark time. “Thankfully, he’s well now, and he doesn’t
even care if I joke about the cancer thing. He’s simply
Though her husband, who she calls “duhhubby”
in her books, and daughter “Princess”
Sophie are prime fodder for new writing
material, both are good sports about it.
“They’re very supportive. They know that
they’re going to be recurring characters and
never protest, oddly enough,” she says.
Perhaps it is because they relate to the
creative process. Scott was a sports writer
for the same newspaper as Celia when the
two met, and he went on to author a true
crime book. Sophie enjoys writing, too,
though she prefers fiction. She does not object to her
mother’s work, even when it deals with delicate topics.
Likewise, readers are rarely rankled, probably because
they know Rivenbark’s style. As for the rare criticism,
Rivenbark takes it in stride with one exception. A
woman wrote a scathing review of a Rivenbark book on
Amazon, concluding her comments with, “I can’t believe
I wasted my time checking it out at the library.”
“You know, if you pay money for my book and you
hate it, that’s ok, but if you got it for free, shut the hell
up,” Rivenbark retorts tongue in cheek.
Rivenbark is currently writing her first fiction book, a
serious tale of a mother in her 80s who is grappling with
arranging care for her Down’s Syndrome son before
she dies. It is a surprising turn for a writer who is also
working on her seventh humor book. Tentatively titled
“That’s Not a Salad Fork, You Stupid ----,” it is an etiquette
book that promises to be as side-splittingly funny –and
just as clever– as her previous works.
“One of the things that I try to get across to readers,
particularly those outside the South, is that just because
we speak colorfully in the South, it doesn’t mean that
we’re stupid,” says Rivenbark.
With the brainy, savvy Celia Rivenbark representing
the South, there is little chance of readers thinking
badly of the South. And if they do, Rivenbark knows just
the way to win over skeptics.
“If they just bite into a hushpuppy,” she says, “they will
Bless their hearts.
Read freelance writer Melanie Coughlin’s blogs at
Photo by Mollie Tobias
Humor writer Celia Rivenbark dotes on her
daughter Sophie, who is also the subject of many
stories in Rivenbark’s bestselling books.
36 OutreachNC • August 2011 Taking the Class Out of Yoga
never saw myself as a yoga-type person but
then I read “Eat, Pray, Love,” whose author,
the glowy, flowy Elizabeth Gilbert, described
how her deep and intense voyage of self-discovery,
which included dumping her perfectly nice husband
and visiting several different continents, led her to
realize that she could eat nine pizzas at one sitting
in Italy and still feel good about it if she was headed
to India to do some yoga.
I think there was a little more to the book than that,
but that was my favorite part.
Yoga just sounds so cool. Our teacher, a young
woman fairly bursting with good health, meets us
where we are, so to speak.
“You can rest when you need to,” she said on the
first day of class, seeming to look at me for a long
time—perhaps because I was the only one who had
never had so much as a smidgen of yoga before. She
knew this because I announced it, repeatedly, so she’d
set the bar pretty low.
I was delighted that she understood, and so I did rest.
For an hour. Just lay there on the purple yoga mat my
friend Christy Kramer got at a yard sale for fitty cent
and loaned me when I told her I didn’t want to invest a
whole lot of money into this yoga stuff until I was sure
I’d like it.
Sure, some of the other women looked puzzled when
I lay down and stayed down, but what can I tell you?
It was the first time in for-freakin’-ever that I’d had
some me-time, phone off, panties granny, and it felt
Laying there while the others practiced some serious
deep breathing and challenging poses, I understood
why everybody loves yoga. I went to sleep.
And was awakened an hour later by the instructor
gently kneading my thigh. My perfect, enormous thigh.
“Uhhh, trying to sleep
here,” I mumbled, but she
just smiled one of those
real peaceful yoga-induced
smiles. “We want to keep
the muscles as relaxed as
Was she high? If I was
any more relaxed, I’d be
in an urn on somebody’s
mantel. I was deliciously
relaxed and now
understood why people
who take naps in the
middle of the day always
feel so refreshed. At this rate, I’d be one of those
irritating people who has a license plate holder that
reads: my other car is a yoga mat! OK, maybe not.
Yoga is going to be a much better fit for me than,
say, Pilates, which, because I was raised Southern
Baptist, I mispronounced for a really long time until my
unchurched, heathen friend told me it had nothing to
do with Pontius Pilate.
“It’s pronounced puh-lot-eez,” she said with clear
irritation. She is one of those snooty types who talks a
lot about how all the hypocrites are in church and she
believes that God is everywhere around her.
Not meaning to be cruel, I hope for His sake this
wasn’t true the day she seriously cut one in yoga class.
That’s the dirty little secret about yoga. All the pooting
that goes on. Sure, you can try to sneak it out in low
gear, so to speak, but everybody still knows. So while
you’re in your Loving Warrior Stance when you should
be breathing deeply and feeling the life force gum up
your chakras or whatever, you’re just worried to death
that the whole class is going to hear you fart out loud.
I’m not sure how Elizabeth Gilbert dealt with that
because there’s no way you could eat nine pizzas for
lunch and then go to yoga, even if it was a few days
later. You’d still be floating up in the air like that idiot
The instructor says that all of this openness to the
will of the universe takes time. One doesn’t just leap
into meditation. It can takes years of practice, even
Elizabeth Gilbert said that. But, in the meantime, while
I’m waiting for that to kick in, I’ll continue to eat pizza.
Just for the sake of my heart, you know.
From “You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl” by Celia
Rivenbark. Copyright (c) 2011 by the author and reprinted
by permission of St. Martin’s Press, LLC.
Excerpt from her new book,
“You Don’t Sweat Much
for a Fat Girl”
Celia Rivenbark was born and
raised in Duplin County, N.C., which
had the distinction of being the
nation’s number one producer of
hogs and turkeys during a brief,
magical moment in the early 1980s.
Her new book comes out August 16.
Latest treatment for degenerative disc disease
OutreachNC • August 2011 37
Millions of Americans suffer from severe back and neck pain as a result of Degenerative Disc Disease.
DDD, as it is often referred to, is not really a “disease” in the common sense of the word, but rather a term
used to describe a process or condition that develops
gradually and worsens over time. DDD indicates
that the cartilage-like discs between the spinal
Michael L. Hall, D.C.
vertebral joints are the primary
cause of the symptoms, and
that the degenerative changes
are rather advanced. To some
degree intervertebral discs lose
their flexibility, elasticity and
shock absorbing characteristics
as we age.
The most common
symptom of degenerative
disc disease of the lumbar
spine is lower back pain
(lumbalgia). If the cervical spine is affected, the most
common symptom is neck pain (cervicalgia). When
degenerative disc disease causes compression of the
cervical nerve roots there may be shoulder pain, arm
pain, and pain in the hand/fingers (neuritis, neuralgia,
radiculitis), and may be associated with numbness
and tingling (paresthesia). When degenerative disc
disease causes compression of the lumbar nerve
roots there may be butt pain, hip pain, leg pain and
pain in the feet or toes.
In the past, a patient suffering from disc problems
was usually given pain medications, instructed to
refrain from physical activities and referred for physical
therapy. When they did not improve, they were sent
for spinal surgery or simply told to learn to live with
it. Since 2001, when the FDA approved non-surgical
spinal decompression therapy, things have changed.
Spinal decompression therapy is a non-invasive, nonsurgical
treatment performed on a special, computercontrolled
table similar in some ways to an ordinary
traction table. A single disc level is isolated and by
using specific traction and relaxation cycles throughout
the treatment, along with proper positioning, negative
pressure can actually be created within the disc. It
works by gently separating the offending disc five to
seven millimeters creating negative pressure inside
the disc to pull water, oxygen and nutrients into the
disc, re-hydrating a degenerated disc and bringing in
the nutrients needed to heal the torn fibers and halt
the degenerative process. Thus, the shock-absorbing
properties are restored and a normal life can be
Hall, D.C. of Triangle Disc Care in Raleigh can be
reached at (919) 571-2515 or DrMLHall@nc.rr.com.
Your welcome team is ready to visit newcomers
with our basket full of maps, civic information,
gifts, and gift certificates from local businesses.
We help newcomers find the best doctors,
dentists, and professionals around. From
restaurants to repairmen...we can tell the area’s
newest residents about YOUR BUSINESS!
For a complimentary welcome visit, or to have
your business included in our welcome package,
call 919.218.8149. Or, visit our website,
www.nnws.org. We introduce newcomers to
their local business community!
38 OutreachNC • August 2011
was recently traveling with my 12-year-old nephew, and I was apparently ranting
I about some squirrel or bird that ate my blackberry. To but this in perspective, this is
the first year I have started a
Your reliable source for
Private Duty Care
Proud to be the only Accredited Caregiver Registry in NC
“My parents are in their late 80s and have long
expressed their strong preference for staying
in their own home. We have been clients of
Moore Registry for two years, and what a
wonderful difference it has made in all our lives.
The caregivers are professional, patient and
highly skilled. Having Moore Registry has meant
much less emotional wear and tear on all of us.
— One Very Thankful Daughter
910.692.2434 • 919.535.8713
Are we speaking the same language?
real garden and have found it
to be very enjoyable except
for the pesky squirrels and
birds. I now have a love/hate
relationship with these
cute, little creatures,
because of having to race
them to get to the berries
first. I must admit it was
psychologically fulfilling to watch the fruits of my labor
ripen and to know that the next day I would pick the
blackberries and eat them. The next morning, I went
to get the blackberries, but they were gone. I was very
disappointed and even a bit mad.
So, I’m driving with my nephew ranting about a
squirrel that ate my blackberry. He looked at me
incredulously and said that it was not possible. When
he realized that I was telling the truth, I saw him
reflect for a moment, and then in a very serious tone
state that I could by a new one.
When I heard this it became apparent that we may
not be talking about the same thing. I asked him what
could I buy? He told me a phone. My wife and I started
laughing, as we both realized that I had been talking
about a blackberry fruit, and my nephew had been
talking about a BlackBerry phone.
In that we were talking about two totally different
things, we both got frustrated because neither of
us could understand why the other one would not
believe the other person.
While this example is based on a misunderstanding
of the same word with two meanings, I would suggest
that the same kind of “negative” experience can
happen around other circumstances. While we ended
up laughing about this experience, there are other
misunderstandings that can become very problematic
if everyone is not speaking the “same language.”
eSocialWorker Tip: Make sure you are
speaking the same language. Try gardening,
but be prepared for those cute, little
Marquez, of eSocialWorker
LLC, can be reached at (910)
OutreachNC • August 2011 OutreachNC • August 2011 39
Life as innkeepers...
Three couples share their stories and delicious gourmet recipes
40 OutreachNC • August 2011
Photos by Carrie Frye/OutreachNC
Proprietors Joe and Lyndee Radigan of Knollwood House Bed & Breakfast in Southern Pines call anyone who ever stays with them “family.”
Joe and Lyndee Radigan are
“The girls got a little tired of it,” Lyndee
in love. It’s a good thing, too, By Melanie Coughlin says of the couple’s daughters, Megan
Special to OutreachNC
since their retirement career as
and Kerry, “But I said I’ve got to make
proprietors of Knollwood House Bed and Breakfast has sure I have tried-and-true recipes.”
them spending lots of time together.
Now she has an impressive repertoire of breakfast
“Because he’s my best friend, working with him is dishes including Grand Marnier French Toast that was
just a fabulous experience,” says Lyndee, 60. “This is a featured on UNC-TV. She enjoys the challenge of
good business if you really and truly like your partner.” preparing three courses —fruit, entrée and sorbet— at
Joe, a retired health care executive who spent much each breakfast.
of his career traveling to Europe two to three weeks of “I feel like I’m having a tea party every day,” Lyndee
each month, is happy to have more time with his wife says with an ear-to-ear smile that shows her sincerity.
of 23 years.
She enjoys using different China patterns and linens
“We haven’t been able to spend that much time every day and is always on the hunt for new serving
together in a while,” Joe, 57, says. “Working with her pieces that will titivate the table. Her guests notice. One
has been a lot of fun. Plus we complement each other guest wrote on TripAdvisor that Lyndee’s breakfasts
“not only taste wonderful, they are a work of art in
The couple has established a good division of appearance.”
responsibilities since taking ownership of the Southern “Breakfast is sort of a lost art,” Joe says with pride in
Pines property in 2007. Lyndee handles food and his wife. “Lyndee makes it really special.”
housekeeping, and Joe manages the marketing and Joe does his part to give the guests a memorable stay
concierge aspect of the business.
by catering to their needs. He stays on top of what is
Joe gets the day started at Knollwood House. After happening in the community and keeps in close contact
rising at 6 a.m., he walks to work, a mere 22 steps with area restaurants and golf resorts. He is also
down the back stairway, a fact he enjoys telling available to meet any impromptu requests.
people. Over the next hour and 15 minutes, he feeds “He is like Pavlov’s dog. He hears the (door) chime
the couples’ cats and dogs, walks the dogs, turns the and he jumps up and runs to the door to see what he
horses out to pasture, puts coffee out for guests and can do for them,” Lyndee says of Joe’s service. “Joe will
showers. Then he –and this is real love– takes coffee do anything for anyone at any time.”
up to his wife in bed.
Lyndee calls Joe’s desire to serve guests his greatest
Lyndee begins cooking breakfast at 7:30, having strength. And she has experience analyzing his
prepped all her ingredients the night before. Learning to strengths. She hired him more than two decades ago
cook breakfast was an adjustment for Lyndee.
when she was the human resources director at a health
“I never was a breakfast person. I cook really lovely care company in California. After he was hired, she
dinners from ‘Bon Appétit,’ but when we decided to do this, noticed from his resume that he was from Connecticut,
I realized I needed to learn to cook breakfast,” she says. where her parents lived. She mentioned it to him, and
To master her recipes, Lyndee served nothing but the two learned their parents lived only 20 minutes from
breakfast food to her family at dinner for an entire each other.
continued page 41
“I thought, ‘This could work,’” Lyndee says laughing
at her pragmatism in the face of a budding romance.
“I’m very much the planner.”
It was she who spurred Joe to make a career change.
He had just managed the sale of the company where
he was CEO, the same company that was taking him
out of the country so often.
“I said, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore. Let’s do
something fun,’” Lyndee recalls.
Shortly after, the two visited North Carolina to look
at colleges with their daughter Megan. They stayed
at Knollwood House Bed and Breakfast and learned
the owners were about to retire. It was the perfect
location to be near Megan, who had decided on St.
Andrews Presbyterian College in Laurinburg. Plus, the
Radigans loved the house.
Built in the 1920s and converted into a bed and
breakfast in 1990, Knollwood is a secluded spot on the
15th fairway at Mid Pines, a Donald Ross golf course.
Four years in, they are still thrilled with their decision.
“It’s a really good option for people who aren’t
necessarily looking to make a lot of money but to
have a great lifestyle,” Joe says of running a bed and
breakfast. “It’s a great way to be in a location you want
to be in and interact with the community.”
“It was a natural transition,” Lyndee says. “And who
wouldn’t want to be in Pinehurst?”
As for spending almost every hour of the day
together, Joe has a stealthy way of smoothing out
potential conflicts with Lyndee.
“The secret is I always make sure Lyndee wins
employee of the month award,” he says with a laugh.
To book a stay at Knollwood House Bed and
Breakfast, visit www.knollwoodhouse.com or call (910)
Joe and Lyndee
guests to play
the piano at
House Bed &
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp orange liqueur
Marnier) - can substitute
2 extra-large eggs
1/2 cup milk or halfand-half
2 tsp honey
½ tsp pure vanilla
⅓ tsp grated orange
⅔ tsp kosher salt
2 slices homemade day
old bread (3/4 inch slices)
cut in half (substitute any
thick cut bread)
¼ cup (¾ ounces)
In a large bowl, whisk
together the eggs, milk,
honey, one teaspoon of
sugar, one tablespoon
orange liqueur, the vanilla,
orange zest, and salt.
Pour the egg mixture into
a large shallow plate and
soak the bread for four
minutes, turning once.
Heat one tablespoon
each of butter and oil in a
very large sauté pan over
medium heat. Take each
slice of bread from the egg
mixture, dip one side in
the toasted almonds, and
place in the sauté pan,
almond side down. Cook
for two to three minutes
on each side, until nicely
browned. Sprinkle with
OutreachNC • August 2011 41
Join us for
8am to 5pm
21 Chinquapin Rd
Village of Pinehurst
Drug Co. Inc.
311 Teal Drive
42 OutreachNC • August 2011
plants couple in
A Bed of Roses
By Carrie Frye
Orange stuffed French toast
brushed with melted butter,
dusted with confectioners’
sugar and topped with real maple
syrup accompanied by vanilla scented
fruit and two links of turkey sausage
is served on an ornately-patterned
china plate and set before each guest
at a regally adorned dining room
table complete with lit candlesticks.
Mango orange juice waits in glasses
as freshly brewed coffee is poured
from a silver pot into fine china cups.
It might be a sweet morning dream,
but then a cheerful hostess describes
the gourmet meal, so that breakfast in
all its glory and morning conversation
“Breakfasts are my favorite thing. I
never dreamed I would get to stay home and cook and
bake every day,” declares Emily McIntosh of A Bed of
Roses Bed and Breakfast in Asheville.
Emily, 59, shares the inn keeping duties with her
husband of 24 years, Bill, 62. The duo performs this
elaborate and tasty breakfast production every morning
that the rooms of their Queen Anne Victorian home
welcome overnight guests. Having purchased the house
at 135 Cumberland Avenue a year ago, the couple is
completing a plan that was years in the making out of
a love for antique houses and historic preservation that
began in Boston.
“We planned a career change and researched B&Bs
for 10 years,” says Emily, a former medical illustrator.
“We always liked entertaining and loved to cook. We
Photos by Carrie Frye/OutreachNC
Bill and Emily McIntosh purchased A Bed of Roses Bed and Breakfast in Asheville a year
ago and have dedicated themselves to their new roles as innkeepers. Their newest guest
package, the Montford Park Players VIP Package, offers a unique theatre experience with
reserved seating and a walk-on role in a scene of the latest Shakespeare production. For
more information, visit www.abedofroses.com or call (828) 258-8700 or (888) 290-2770.
even took a two-day B&B seminar. We took yearly trips
to B&Bs in Colorado, Oregon, Virginia, North Carolina…
Visiting them all was the fun part. Then, this place
became available in Asheville.”
“We listed our house in Boston, and it sold in a matter
of hours, so we kind of knew we had to make a decision,”
adds Bill, a former biomedical photographer.
They planned one last trip to visit inns in Georgia and
North Carolina. They immediately fell in love with the
architecture of the 1897 Victorian in Asheville and close
proximity to Emily’s family. So the couple decided to
plant new roots in Asheville at A Bed of Roses.
“Everything just seemed right. It was just a matter
finding the right place at the right time,” says Bill.
“As soon as we came to Asheville, we felt at home,”
says Emily with a wide smile. continued page 43
OutreachNC • August 2011 43
Although Bill and Emily do not have children of their
own, they have two beautiful, 9-year old cats, Nadia
and Sasha, who are the official greeters of the B&B. A
Bed of Roses offers five guest rooms, all endowed with
antiques and stately furniture like a French Louis XV bed,
clawfoot soaking tub or turn-of-the-century armoires
alongside the modern day amenities of a whirlpool tub,
lush linens, cozy robes and flat-screen televisions.
The husband and wife team developed a new web site
for A Bed of Roses (www.abedofroses.com) and use it
along with TripAdvisor and their membership with the
Asheville Bed and Breakfast Association to help market
the inn and entice travelers to visit western N.C.
“When we first started this, I was afraid I would become
cynical about people, but it has been just the opposite.
The more I do this, the more I like people. Our guests are
fantastic, and we have met so many people,” says Emily,
who makes every effort to cater to any special needs or
requests of guests.
“There are just so many great personalities,” adds Bill.
Pleasing guests and providing the full B&B experience
is at the top of Bill and Emily’s ‘to do’ list. Mornings start
early and find both Bill and Emily in the kitchen by 7
a.m. preparing a two-course breakfast side by side and
serving it to their guests at 9 a.m. The small window
of time between the 11 a.m. checkout and the 3 p.m.
check-in is filled with clean up, menu setting, shopping
“I didn’t realize how much time gets taken up. There’s
also the baking,” Emily says of the freshly baked cookies
that are a staple and a sweet reward for visitors to the
kitchen. “We are never bored,” she says laughing.
“That’s the only thing I promised Emily,” adds Bill
smiling, “was that we would never be bored.”
With a sparkle in her eyes, Emily grins and says, ” They
say growing old isn’t for sissies; neither is running a B&B.
It is an amazing experience.”
Leave the landscaping to us...
BAKER LAWN CARE
· Commercial · Residential
· Landscaping · Lot Blowing
Tater Baker, Owner
Emily McIntosh prepares
chocolate chip cookies for
guests and also shares her
French toast recipe below.
1-2 long loaves of
French Bread, sliced
at a diagonal
½ to 1 package
of cream cheese,
4 large eggs
½ cup milk
Orange zest to taste
Orange marmalade (our favorite is Mackays, imported
from Scotland and made with champagne)
Melted butter for brushing
Confectioners’ sugar for dusting
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray two 11”x17” metal
baking pans with cooking spray. Using two adjacent
pieces of bread per person, lay each pair open like a
book. Spread one piece with softened cream cheese.
Spread the opposite piece with orange marmalade.
Press the two pieces together firmly but gently enough
that the filling doesn’t ooze out. Repeat for eight
“sandwiches.” Whisk together the eggs, milk and orange
zest. Dip each “sandwich” in the egg mixture, turning
to coat. Place in prepared pan so they don’t touch one
another. Brush with melted butter. Bake at 350 degrees
for 20 minutes. Dust with confectioners’ sugar and serve
with real maple syrup.
AUDIOLOGY of the SANDHILLS
Belinda Bryant, Vallie Goins,
Kate Tuomala, and Ruth Jones
PHONE (910) 692-6422
1902-K N. Sandhills Blvd., Hwy. #1 • Longleaf Medical Center • Aberdeen NC 28315
44 OutreachNC • August 2011
No mystery to
Rosemary House’s success
Karen Pullen, 67, writes mysteries, teaches
memoir writing and operates Rosemary House
Bed and Breakfast in Pittsboro. And this is her
retirement career from engineering.
“I had a corporate job, and I had a really good income,”
says Karen. “But I was tired and didn’t want to do it just
for the money anymore.”
Pullen and her husband Mac opened Rosemary
House in 2000. The couple found Pittsboro particularly
charming during visits to see their daughter at the
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
“Pittsboro is just such a nice little friendly town but
still close enough to Chapel Hill, Raleigh and Durham,”
Karen had always thought of operating a bed and
breakfast but had another reason for choosing it as a
“I love old houses. I love the way they’re laid out, the
woodwork, the floors,” she says. “But there’s no
logical reason to buy a big old house. Saying
you’re going to have a B&B gives you an excuse
to have one.”
She and Mac bought the 1912 Colonial Revival
home and spent seven months doing upgrades
before opening to guests. Mac worked the whole
summer on repairing the double-hung windows
that were broken or painted shut. The couple
added bathrooms and used, by Karen’s estimation,
about 100 gallons of paint. The refurbished inn
has five rooms, among them the popular Retreat
Room featuring a fireplace and a two-person
therapeutic tub. The Pullens named their bed and
By Melanie Coughlin
Special to OutreachNC
breakfast for the herb of friendship and remembrance.
The name is working; a recurring theme among guests
comments is how memorable the stay was.
A feature that distinguishes Rosemary House from
its peers is its all-vegetarian breakfasts. The dishes –
ranging from sweet potato pancakes to eggs benedict
with asparagus and even vegetarian meats– satisfy
both meat and veggie lovers.
“I try to make a breakfast that is different from
something someone would make at home,” Karen says.
The upsides of owning a bed and breakfast outweigh
the downsides. Karen has been amazed by the people
she has met. Of thousands of guests, there have been
only two or three she says were difficult.
“That’s an incredible number of nice people to meet,”
she says. “They’re perfect strangers. You don’t know
anything about them besides a name and credit card
number, and I’m always struck by how really, really nice
Karen cites only one disadvantage to her chosen
“With a B&B, you don’t make a lot of money. It’s a
lifestyle choice,” she says.
She says an inn with five rooms or more is ideal for
getting enough bookings to provide a livable income. As
in real estate, choosing the site for a bed and breakfast
is “all location, location, location,” Karen says, because
the destination must be appealing for guests. She
advises people considering running a bed and breakfast
that it is helpful to have a part-time job. Mac is a high
school math teacher. Karen would not trade her inn for
her old job as an engineer. continued page 45
“I like having my own business after spending 20
years in the corporate world. Even though my income is
greatly reduced, I enjoy having that control,” she says.
Today, the couple lives offsite, and an employee lives
in an onsite apartment, freeing time for the couple to
both live their dream and pursue other interests.
Karen received her master’s of fine arts in popular
fiction in 2008. She helped launch the creative writing
program at Central Carolina Community College, where
she also teaches. She has written two mystery novels,
and she is one of the contributors to the book “Fish
Tales: The Guppy Anthology,” a collection of 22 short
stories. Karen will be reading her mystery story at
McIntyre’s Books in Fearrington Village, Pittsboro,
on Aug. 19. She took second place in a “Spinetingler
Magazine” contest for a story that chillingly hits at the
½ stick unsalted butter, melted
¼ cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tbsp crystallized ginger, finely
chopped plus additional for garnish
2 tbsp currants or raisins
2 large Anjou pears, peeled, cored
and sliced thin
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
½ cup all-purpose flour
½ tsp double-acting baking powder
¼ tsp salt
½ tsp cinnamon
OutreachNC • August 2011 45
hearts of mothers. Though Rosemary House does not
have any ghosts to inspire Karen’s writing, she admits
guests are sometimes the
muses for characters in
All Karen’s pursuits
create a busy life.
“I like to have a lot of
things going on. I wouldn’t
call this retirement,” Karen
says with a laugh.
To learn more about
Rosemary House, visit
or call (919) 542-5515 or
Pear Ginger Upside-Down Cake
2 large eggs
¼ cup plus 2 tbsp granulated sugar
½ tsp vanilla
Whipped cream or vanilla ice cream
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Into
an eight-inch round cake pan, pour the
butter, swirling the pan, and sprinkle it
with brown sugar, two tablespoons of
ginger and currants. In a small bowl, toss
the pear slices with the lemon juice and
arrange them evenly over the currants.
Into another small bowl, sift together the
flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.
In a bowl with an electric mixer, beat the
eggs with the granulated sugar and the
vanilla for three to five minutes, or until
the mixture is thick and pale and forms a
ribbon when the beaters are lifted. Fold
in the flour mixture gently but thoroughly,
pour the batter over the pear slices, and
bake the cake for 20 to 25 minutes, or
until a tester comes out clean. Run a
sharp knife around the edge of the pan,
invert the cake onto a serving plate, and
serve it warm with the whipped cream
or ice cream, and then sprinkle with the
remaining chopped crystallized ginger.
Photos by Mollie Tobias
Serving tea to guests is just one of the many
job perks for Karen Pullen, owner of Rosemary
House Bed and Breakfast in Pittsboro.
In home companionship
and personal care
assistance with bathing,
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46 OutreachNC • August 2011
The Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) is a
partnership between the Federal Bureau of
Investigation, the National White Collar Crime
Center, and the Bureau of Justice Assistance. IC3
receives in excess of 300,000 complaints a year about
fraudulent activity. IC3 reported that 2.5 percent (7,500)
of these complaints originate from N.C. residents. Ask
these seven simple questions before buying online.
Have you ever heard of the business you are
1 dealing with? If not, try doing a search online. If
you can’t find any customer reviews of the business,
a company web site, official business filings or Better
Business Bureau reviews, it might be a scam.
Are you being offered something for free? A large
2 number of Internet scams start with a “free” offer,
but then you have to buy something else to get what
was advertised as being free. The word “free” should
always make you suspicious.
Is the price of what you are looking to buy
3 unusually low? If you feel like you are getting too
good of a deal, be careful. Most scams look too good to
be true because they are.
Are you being asked to provide personal
information by e-mail? You should never send
credit card information, passwords or social security
numbers over e-mail. Credit card information should
be entered into secure Internet billing sites. It is
Ask right questions to avoid Internet fraud
important that this internet
billing site start with “https”,
not “http”. The additional “s”
stands for secure.
5Does the company you
purchasing from accept Consumer Beware
credit cards? Almost Bob Temme
all credible businesses
accept credit cards, especially if they are based online.
6Did you log on to the web site, instead of “linking”
to it from an unsolicited email? Often, a link in an
unsolicited e-mail will bring you to a web page for a
business that looks to be legitimate, but in reality, it is
a site that was created to steal your money once you
place an order and enter your credit card information.
Where is the business located? Businesses that
have a physical location and mailing address rather
than a post office box are less likely to victimize Internet
users. Avoid dealing with businesses outside the U.S.
since both investigation and prosecution become
extremely difficult. Incidentally, the statistics published
by IC3 for 2010 indicated that the No. 1 state that had
the most identified perpetrators was California. N.C.
was No. 15 on the list with 2.1 percent.
For more information, contact the Community Services
Unit of the Southern Pines Police Dept. at (910) 692-2732.
Wake up with the
WIOZ 550 AM Morning Show
& Billy Bag-O-Donuts
OutreachNC • August 2011 47
48 OutreachNC • August 2011
One of my childhood loves
is “The Wizard of Oz” and
Judy Garland singing “Over
the Rainbow.” I never thought
there was anyone comparable
to the way she sang it. While
visiting with a client who loves
music, he requested I bring a
copy of Jane Monheit for him
to listen to. He told me “no one
has ever sung ‘Over the Rainbow’ so
sweetly or with such a vocal range.”
So I downloaded a CD by Jane Monheit that
contained her version of “Over the Rainbow.” I heard
the voice of an angel sing those well-known lyrics,
including words that were never used in the screen
version sung by Judy Garland.
“When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the
raindrops tumble to the ground, heaven opens a
magic lane. When all the clouds darken up the skyway.
There’s a rainbow highway to be found leading from
your window pane. To a place behind the sun. Just a
step beyond the rain...”
What an amazing intro to the famous lines,
“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There’s a
land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over
the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
why, then oh why, can’t I? Someday I’ll wish upon a
star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops and way above
the chimney tops, that’s where you’ll find me.”
Fortunately, I am not the only one with an indelible
memory of “The Wizard of Oz” and Judy Garland
singing, “Over the Rainbow”. Over the last few weeks,
I tested my hypothesis in a variety of settings.
With a rate of 100 percent, all encounters ended
There’s no place like home
with a mutual sing-along.
No wonder the song is
No. 1 on the “Songs of the
Century” list compiled by
the Recording Industry
Association of America
and the National
Endowment for the
Arts. The American
Film Institute also
ranked “Over the Rainbow” the greatest movie song
of all time on the list of “AFI’s 100 Years...100 Songs”.
So what was the draw that Dorothy had throughout
the movie’s storyline of wanting to go home? No matter
where life leads us, there is a desire to be home, the
metaphorical home where we are comfortable, safe,
accepted and known. Those struggling with memory
loss are constantly looking to “go home” and leave
wherever they are at to travel “home.’” Reality can
serve as a stumbling block when family members and
caregivers strive to remind them that they are home or
that they cannot leave to go back to a certain place.
Home is not a place; it is a feeling. Yes, you can go back
home again. Through stories, songs and memories, we
can remember who we are and that we are loved.
The next time I hear someone say they wish they
could go home, I will link their arm in mine, join their
journey and say, “Tell me about your home? What was it
like growing up in your family? What’s your favorite food
from childhood?” The list of questions will continue and
for a moment, I will be with them remembering, “There’s
no place like home. There’s no place like home.”
Contact Jennifer George to share music memories at
(910) 692-0683 or email@example.com.
Asking for help can reduce caregiver guilt
When it comes to
linked to obligation, or a sense
of owing or giving back, may lead
to resentment, anger and guilt.
Caregiver guilt is an emotion that
conceals resentment, anger or
simply exhaustion. Taking care of
a loved one is not an easy
task, whether it is a child or
Caring for an aging parent
may demonstrate a role reversal with the adult child
becoming parent-like to the elder which is disconcerting
to both parties. The adult child/caregiver is now in a
position to make decisions for the benefit of the elder,
which may provoke feelings of anxiety and agitation. If
there are siblings involved, resentment sets in when,
perhaps, a particular adult child is the one to make
decisions. Then the guilt sets in, leaving a sense of
obligation to care for them.
Guilt is debilitating. It is exhausting, haunting,
troublesome and profound. It can interfere with marriage
and family life. It is not an easy emotion to extinguish
despite the praise and appreciation from other family
members whose intentions are well-meaning. For some
caregivers, guilt is relentless.
Taking care of a loved one should not hinder your
needs. Just like having children, parents may feel they
need some time alone, and when this is the case, they
call in a helper for some relief. As a caregiver, you can
do the same thing. And if you feel guilty for taking time
away from your loved one, make sure you give him or
her some fun time, too. Create a balance. Your loved
one might feel resentful, if they sense you are burdened
Here a few tips to help relieve caregiver guilt:
• Don’t be a martyr. Know that you are a good person
for taking on such an enormous responsibility. Forgive
Lauren Watral, MSW
OutreachNC • August 2011 49
yourself for being human.
• Consider relaxing or meditative outlets such as
yoga, Tai Chi, hiking or long walks.
• Look to your faith or spirituality for strength. You must
have a strong mind and body to be a good caregiver.
• Find a support group or therapist with whom to
share your feelings and experiences.
• Confide in family and close friends.
Watral, MSW, is owner of Raleigh Geriatric Care
Management and on the Board of Directors for Guiding
Lights Caregiver Support Center in Raleigh. Have a
question? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or
call (919) 371-2062.
In addition to providing education
and training for college students,
we have many offerings for
senior citizens. Our Center for
Creative Retirement, Community
Enrichment and Computer classes
are very popular. Find all the
information you need at:
or call 246-4943.
50 OutreachNC • August 2011
Spirituality & Aging
Find hope in last days of summer
The end of summer is
drawing nearer. Growing
up along the beach
in South Carolina, Labor
Day Weekend was the last
getaway to the beach for
boating and water skiing
along the Intercoastal Waterway with family and
friends. It was a carefree time before returning to the
routine of school and anticipating cooler temperatures
as the days became shorter. Take a moment and think
of those last end of summer adventures you have had.
As the season begins to change from the sweltering heat
of summer to the much anticipated cooler temperatures
of autumn, I begin to notice the changes from lush green
to reds, yellows, tans and browns taking place all around.
Many see the change of seasons as a time of hope. Hoping
that things will be better. We are reminded that things
do change as we live our daily lives, some things for the
better and some things for worse. We don’t know what
the changes of seasons will hold for us. The one thing that
makes a difference is attitude. How a person responds to
Out of town guests?
Need a place for your upcoming event?
Check out our
1900’s Two Bedroom Cottage
Accommodations for 6
Walking distance to downtown
Southern Pines shops & dining
change is what makes the difference.
Some people go through life without hope for tomorrow.
God’s word speaks of this hope as “an anchor for the soul.”
It is often that unspoken strength that allows individuals
to rise each day and face the uncertainties of life. In the
midst of our losses and let-downs, we can anchor our
souls with divine strength. The Bible is more modern than
tomorrows’ newspaper and tells us what is before us.
The scripture says that: “All things are possible with God.”
He is the hope for our tomorrows, and we need not have
any fear —no matter what comes our way. May each of
you be blessed in the coming change of seasons.
Stevens, Chaplain/Volunteer Coordinator at Liberty Hospice
Services, can be reached at email@example.com.
MOORE COUNTY PUBLIC MEETING NOTICE
oore County Joint Nursing Home/
Adult Care Home Community Advisory
Committee will hold a Public Business
Meeting on Tuesday, Sept. 6 at 10 a.m.
at the Senior Enrichment Center, 8040 US
Hwy 15-501, West End. There will be an
informational session regarding Long-Term
Care Issues. Public welcome.
Caregiver Spotlight: Severa Gorbounov
I started doing home health
about 15 years ago in Texas.
I am a people person and
enjoy helping others. I like
working as a home health
provider, because it gives the
opportunity to meet other
people and help them with
whatever I can. Having worked
in hospitals and nursing
homes, it makes me feel good
at the end of the day to know
that I have done something to
change someone’s life, even if
only a little bit. To me, this is
all that matters.
— Severa Gorbounov,
OutreachNC • August 2011 51
OutreachNC • April 2010 3
52 OutreachNC • August 2011
4 OutreachNC • April 2010