October 2011 - OutreachNC Magazine


October 2011 - OutreachNC Magazine

Aging Outreach Services


VOl. 2 IssuE 10

OutreachNC • April 2010 1

utreach NC

Navigating all your aging needs


Southern Darlin’

Paula Deen

Debuts Cooking Bible

2 OutreachNC • April 2010

Celebrating 25 Years in Continuing Care

in Pinehurst, NC

Call Today to schedule a personalized

tour with Tiffany Abbey (910) 295-2294

It is time to join the wait list!

Managed by United Methodist Retirement Homes, Inc. with support from Life Care Services, LLC

OutreachNCOctober 2011 3


Wound Healing Center Panel Physicians - Dr. Brian Parkes, Medical Director (3rd from left)


4 OutreachNCOctober 2011

OutreachNCOctober 2011

Aging Outreach Services

utreach NC

Navigating all your aging needs

PO Box 2478

676 NW Broad Street

Southern Pines, NC 28388

(910) 692-9609 Office

(910) 695-0766 Fax

PO Box 2019

101-A Brady Court

Cary, NC 27512

(919) 535-8713 Office

(919) 535-8719 Fax



OutreachNC is a publication

of Aging Outreach Services, Inc.


Carrie Frye

Advertising Sales

Shawn Buring

(910) 690-1276

(919) 909-2645


Editorial Assistant

Jessica Bricker

Marketing & Public Relations

Susan McKenzie

The entire contents of OutreachNC are

copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services.

Reproduction or use, without permission,

of editorial, photographic or graphic

content in any manner is prohibited.

OutreachNC is published monthly

on the first of each month.

From the Editor

ctober brings blustery days of Bladen County at Lu Mil Vineyard, our

O much anticipated cooler weather, latest stop on our year-long N.C. wine tour,

long sleeves and unforgettable shades of where the Taylor family has succeeded in


making the vineyard a destination.

This month, we go inside the kitchen Wine can also be an accompaniment

with Southern darlin’ Paula Deen to learn to good music. We meet the Carolina

about her latest cookbook, “Paula Deen’s Philharmonic’s Maestro David Michael

Southern Cooking Bible.” Paula was kind Wolff, who chose the Sandhills over

enough to share some of her time with Carnegie Hall and brings beautiful sounds

us as she prepares for an appearance in and perfect pitch for all ages to enjoy.

Raleigh later this month. She hopes this Enjoying and cherishing every moment

cookbook will become a staple in kitchens of life is what some very special ladies

across the South and beyond for all butter practice on a daily basis. They were kind

lovers, myself included. Her story is an enough to share their experiences dealing

inspirational one that proves hard work with breast cancer in recognition of

and determination can mix up a tasty National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

batch of success.

Moore County fire victims who survive

From the kitchen to the farm, we travel fires, but lose everything, can rely on

to Mount Gilead to learn about the grassfed

Angus cows that agreed to pose with ministry for support. We recognize their

the American Red Cross and a Carthage

me at Hilltop Angus Farm. Their beef offers efforts in acknowledgement of National

added health benefits.

Fire Prevention Month this October.

Muscadine grapes, too, known for their Until next month...

healthy antioxidants, grow heartily in

—Carrie Frye

Stay in Southern Pines...

AOS Hospitality House

1900's Two Bedroom Cottage

Accommodations for 6

Walking distance to downtown shops & dining




Inside this issue

Ask the Expert.......................6

Back Care............................20

Belle Weather NEW!

by Celia Rivenbark..............49

Bridge Club..........................34

Consumer Beware..............22

Continuum of Care..............23

Cooking Simple..................16

Creative Retirement............21

Elder Abuse...........................8

Gadgets & Good Finds........9

Grey Matter Games.............32

Guiding Lights....................35

Hospital Health..............24-25

Independent Living............19

Literary Circle........................7

Long-Term Care..................36

Medicare Update..................11

Mental Health Minute..........37

Money Matters....................18

Over My Shoulder..............10

Planning Ahead...................33

Physician Focus..................28

Senior Moments..................42

Senior Shorts Guest Writer

Karen Pullen’s short story,

“The Fitting Room”.............46

Hilltop Angus Farm

page 14



page 12

page 30

OutreachNCOctober 2011 5

Paula Deen

page 43

Breast Cancer


page 38

Helping fire victims

page 26

Sentimental Journey..........50

Spirituality & Aging.............48

Volunteer Opportunities..29

Cover Photography by Chia Chong


6 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Q: My wife has some

issues with memory

loss. I play golf a

couple of times a week and

have been able to leave her

home alone. Last week, when

I got home, my wife was gone.

She had decided to take the

dog for a walk and got lost.

One of our neighbors saw

her and brought her home.

How do I keep her safe when

I cannot be at home with her?

A: Safety at home can

encompass multiple

issues. An important

first step is talking with her

physician and identifying what might be causing her

memory loss. Having open communication with her

physician about what changes you are seeing will help

get her the appropriate diagnosis and treatment.

Memory loss or dementia can often lead to safety

issues in the home. Wandering or getting lost is certainly

a big safety risk; others include taking medications

incorrectly, eating spoiled food or non-edible items,

dehydration, misuse of appliances, general lack of

activity and increased anxiety or agitation. Dementia is

often progressive (Alzheimer’s disease), and just because

something has not happened yet, does not mean that it

will not happen the next time you leave.

Determining if your wife is safe to be left at home is

an ongoing evaluation you need to make. If your wife

is easily confused or agitated, wanders or gets lost, does

not know how to call 9-1-1, is prone to depression or

withdrawal and is not aware of her own limitations (no

longer being able to use the stove or drive a car), it is

probably time to consider having someone to stay with

her while you are out of the house. It is great that you

are staying active, and as a caregiver, you need that

outlet, but also give yourself piece of mind by having a

Ask the Expert

Amy Natt, MS

Geriatric Care Manager

Our experts will answer any aging questions

you might have. Fax your questions to (910)

695-0766 or e-mail info@outreachnc.com.

friend, family member or paid

caregiver stay home with her.

If you plan for your wife to

remain at home, here are some

other safety tips to consider:

• Post emergency numbers

by the phone – especially 9-1-1.

• Install and frequently

check all smoke alarms.

• Avoid using extension

cords or having lamp and

other electrical cords where

they are a tripping hazard. Try

tacking them to baseboards.

• Have handrails and

adequate lighting at all stairs.

• Install grab bars and use

non-slip rugs in bathrooms.

• Lock up all poisonous chemicals or cleaners.

• Walk the inside and outside perimeter of your home

and eliminate uneven surfaces.

• Put up a “no soliciting” sign.

• Have her wear an identification bracelet, and alert

neighbors to her diagnosis.

• Remove scatter rugs that might cause falls.

• Lock up all medications.

• Place non-skid strips in bath tubs and showers.

• Set water heater to 120 degrees or lower.

• Use labels to identify commonly used items.

• Put away all sharp or potentially harmful objects.

• Put away all available car keys.

• Consider an alarm system that buzzes anytime an

outside door is opened.

If you plan to keep your wife at home as her needs

increase, it might be a good idea to have an extra set

of eyes to help make suggestions. The Alzheimer’s

Association and Alzheimers North Carolina have some

great resources. Local occupational and physical

therapists often do home assessments, and geriatric

care managers can help you determine what changes

you can make to improve the safety of your home.




Literary Circle

OutreachNCOctober 2011 7

Book Review: Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok

Jean Kwok’s “Girl in Translation” was a book

I really enjoyed reading. It was a fast read

although grim in the description of Kimberly

Chang and her mother’s living conditions. They

came from Hong Kong to live in the United

States and settled in Brooklyn, N.Y. Beholden to

Mrs. Chang’s sister, Aunt Paula, who paid Mrs.

Chang’s tuberculosis bills and financed their trip to

the U.S., they are employees

of her Chinatown sweatshop.

They are paid a pittance and

overworked with much takehome

work to finish at night.

Home is a rat- and roachinfested,

heatless apartment

with a boarded up storefront,

broken windows, makeshift

furniture and no other tenants.

Eleven-year-old Kimberly is

ridiculed by both teachers

and students for her accent.

Her clothes are sewn by her

mother and are ill-fitting and

tacky. Her mode of respect

for her teacher because she

has been carefully taught

to respect elders is to skip

school until she is found out.

She is exceedingly bright

and excels at math and

science. She studies in the

apartment at night, which is

Book Review

Cos Barnes

certainly not conducive after long hours at school

and work.

Because of her brilliance, she is admitted to a

prestigious private high school. She makes new

acquaintances there, but has only one friend,

Annette, because she can never reciprocate when

invited to visit other classmates. Of course, there

is a love angle with Matt, who is also an immigrant

from Hong Kong and a worker in the sweatshop.

As Kimberly matures, she has tough decisions to

make but is always respectful to her mother and

her care.

Pinehurst Medical Clinic


8 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Volunteers needed in fight against elder abuse

We have all heard about, witnessed or perhaps

dealt with the issues of abuse, neglect,

dependency and/or exploitation, but have you been

faced with the issue of elder abuse? For too many

people, this issue is more real than you will probably

ever imagine. Nationally, one in three nursing homes

have been cited for abuse, according to a 2009

Congressional report. Moreover, one in five senior

citizens will be victims of financial fraud, according


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to the Investor Protection Trust and the National Adult

Protective Services Association.

Wake and Durham counties’ department of social

services received 924 and 353 reports alleging abuse,

respectively in 2009, according to a Adult Protective

Services Survey that year. These statistics are alarming

to most people, but the reality is, for every incident

of abuse that is reported, five go unreported, says the

American Psychological Association. Elder abuse is

one of the most under-reported crimes committed

against older adults. Victims are often embarrassed,

ashamed and feel that they have done something to

deserve this type of treatment; therefore, elders are

afraid to say anything.

To help address this issue, two coalitions were

formed to increase awareness of elder abuse. In 2010,

the Wake County Elder Abuse Task Force (EATF) was

created to educate and inform elderly and at-risk

adults in the county about issues related to abuse. The

mission is “to identify and reduce abuse of older and

at-risk adults in our communities through collaborative

partnership, education and empowerment.” Partners

Eliminating Adult Victimization in Durham (PEAVD)

emerged in Durham County this year. PEAVD’s

mission is “to eliminate abuse of vulnerable and older

adults by bridging the gaps in communication and

collaboration within our community.”

Both task forces are composed of individuals

representing various agencies, organizations, churches,

law enforcement entities, financial institutions, colleges

and universities, but most importantly, concerned

citizens. One of the main goals is to inform the public

about elder abuse and its effect on vulnerable adults.

The groups need greater representation from citizens

and churches and are seeking volunteers to participate

in outreach events, give presentations and contribute

ideas at monthly meetings.

To learn more about the Wake County Elder Abuse

Task Force and Partners Eliminating Adult Victimization,

visit www.TriangleElderAbuse.org or contact one

of the co-chairs of Wake County, Karen Christie

at kechristie@gmail.com or Christopher Solomon at

cesolomon@st-aug.edu. In Durham County, contact

John Margolis at jdmargolis@durhamcountync.gov.


Change into clothing that adapts

Gadgets & Good Finds

Connie Hess

It is time to put away the shorts

and get out those sweatshirts.

New gadgets make dressing easier

than ever. If you have a hard

time with buttons, you can get a

buttonhook, or you can say goodbye

to buttoned shirts and blouses

altogether. Velcro has replaced the

fastener and made fumbling

almost obsolete.

Pants have long been a trial

for those in wheelchairs. First,

as people who sit all the time know all too well, pants

are designed for standing. Specialty slacks now exist

that give a little extra room

in the seat, while getting

rid of extra material in the

lap. Yet other styles allow

you to dress your loved

one without struggling with

the legs, because pants

exist that zip or Velcro up

the side. There are even

pants that have “trapdoors”

in the back to permit easy

access for changing


Dresses, some quite

stylish, are available to

permit dressing with a

minimum of fuss. Back

snaps make them easy

to don, and this closure

style is also available in

shirts and gowns. Some

clothing is also geared to

those with limited ability to

raise their arms. For some

loved ones, jumpsuits

may be easier, so now

many manufacturers are

disguising them as twopiece

sweat suits.

One of the greatest

inventions for wheelchair

users is the modified coat

and cape. These are made

with short sections in

the back and sides, and

a longer one in the front.

Warmth and comfort is

achieved without sacrificing

the ability to propel, and

OutreachNCOctober 2011 9

the user is not sitting on a bulky coat.

Jackets can be difficult to zip, but simply attaching a

zipper pull, which is a larger ring, makes zipping a breeze.

Elastic shoelaces permit the shoes to be taken on and off

without the need to re-tie. Do not forget the traditional

aids of dressing sticks, sock aids and shoehorns, which

can all make dressing easier.

Consider these resources: Silverts Adaptive Clothing:

www.silverts.com, (800) 387-7088; Shop on the Net.com:

www.shop-onthenet.com, (877) 225-8033; and Care

Apparel: www.careapparel.com, (800) 236-6262.

Hess, a certified Assistive Technology Professional at

Health Innovations Pharmacy in Southern Pines, can be

reached at (910) 246-5155.

Hospitalists specialize in caring for patients in the hospital.

At Scotland Health Care System, our Hospitalist program

helps ensure you receive excellent care during your stay.

Gladys found Scotland Health Care System.

And her independence.

Her nickname: “Miss Independence.” But that was before pain and

discomfort in her knee caused Gladys to use a walker. After a bad fall,

Gladys discovered Scotland Health Care System. They didn’t just replace

her knee—they replaced her ability to enjoy her freedom again. And

reclaim her nickname. Gladys says Scotland saved her life. In fact, she

often returns to visit her hospitalist, Dr. Davis. And greets her with a big hug.



I , M A


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SCOTHC 11514 AgingOutreach_5.875x2-Gladys.indd www.OutreachNC.com


9/20/11 2:25 PM

10 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Smoke lingers after flames

One of the saddest sights I have seen was

a home where I had visited and had good

times destroyed by fire. I stood in what

had been the living room and looked up to see

burned beams against a perfect Carolina blue sky.

Once you have been in or near a burned

building, you will never forget the smell. The home

belonged to a good friend who lived there with her

three children.

The fire started in the attic, likely from an

electrical malfunction. Fortunately, the fire crews

were on the scene before the entire house was

engulfed. There was no one in the house, and

as the owner returned from work, she saw the

smoke, heard the sirens and then realized it was

her home that was in flames.

One can only imagine what when through her

mind - first, were the kids at home, and then, what

about her beloved cat? All of these were safe.

Fire is capricious. Many things in that house

were burned beyond recognition, yet a set of

her grandmother’s china, stored in a cabinet in

the kitchen, escaped the fire but not the water

and smoke. What might be called the bedroom

wing was relatively untouched. The door to her

daughter’s room had been closed and escaped

much damage.

The fire occurred late in the evening. It took

some time for the firemen to make sure they

have gotten all the “hot spots.” By morning, most

items that were salvageable were still warm to

the touch. A beloved grand piano was damaged

but has since been repaired. A collection of

music boxes, large and small, were damaged but

could be cleaned. The kitchen area, where many

gatherings and conversations were held, still drew

us all there. We kept being surprised by things that

had not been ruined.

Because the home was

no longer secure, several

friends pitched in to take

boxes of things that could

be saved to their homes for

safekeeping. I left my boxes

in our garage and was

struck by their lingering

smell of smoke.

The family has

moved on to a rented

house and then

Over My Shoulder

Ann Robson

another home not far away. It was not easy to

leave years of memories and memorabilia behind.

They were supported physically, mentally and

financially by caring friends. All of us knew that if

circumstances had been reversed, she would have

been the one offering and bringing help.

Several years later, on July 4 this year, I got to

watch another fire. My daughter’s pickup truck

caught on fire. She and her passenger got out

safely and were able to remove the burning

mattress from the bed of the truck. We assume

that’s where the fire started. The Pinehurst Fire

Department was there quickly and took care of the

burning vehicle. It is not a pretty sight to watch

a favorite vehicle self-destruct. We were very

grateful that there was no human damage. But the

smell! It is something you do not forget.

Friends rallied around and several donations of

money and replacements for items that had been

in the truck quickly came her way.

You never know when a fire will affect you or

someone you love. These two fires were true

accidents, but ask any fireman, and he will be

happy to tell you how to be as safe as you can.

E-mail Robson at info@outreachnc.com.

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Changes to Medicare Annual Election Period


Beginning this fall, Medicare Advantage and

Prescription Drug Plan members will see changes

in the enrollment period during which they can

choose a plan.

Annual Election Period is Oct. 15 – Dec. 7. During this

time members can:

• Enroll in a Part C Medicare Advantage Plan

• Change Part C Medicare Advantage Plans

• Enroll in a Part D Medicare Prescription Drug Plan

• Change Part D Medicare Prescription Drug Plans

• Return to Original Medicare (A and B)

Changes made during this period will be effective on

January 1, 2012.

If you are a member of a Medicare Supplement/Medigap,

you do not have the same election period guidelines. With

this product, you may make changes as your plan allows,

typically any time during the year as long as you can meet

a company’s underwriting requirements.

For those of you enrolled in a Medicare Supplement/

Medigap Plan AND have a Part D Prescription Drug Plan,

it is the time of year to re-evaluate your Prescription Drug

Plan for the upcoming calendar year. The components

of these plans change annually. Enrollees often have

medication changes during the year, which could also

prompt the evaluation of a new plan. There are currently

31 plans to choose from in North Carolina at Medicare.gov.

This web site helps you select and enroll in prescription

drug plans. It allows you to enter your specific medications

and dosages. The software will then evaluate all 31 plans

in N.C. and offer an Estimated Annual

Cost of each plan. For those of you

who have concerns about the Part

D “donut hole or gap,” it gives you

a graph to show you an estimation

of how soon you could reach it,

if at all. Considerable savings

are possible in choosing a plan

tailored to your medications.

If evaluating Medicare

OutreachNCOctober 2011 11

Medicare Update

Terri Powell Herlica

Advantage Plans, Part C, Medicare.gov will work in the

same way. Enter your prescription drug information, zip

code and county to see what plans are available in your

county. If you make a choice that you are not happy

with, Medicare now offers a 45-day Annual Disenrollment

Period from Jan. 1 to Feb. 14, 2012. During this time,

Medicare Advantage enrollees may drop their plans and

return to Original Medicare. If you are returning to Original

Medicare, you may also select a stand-alone Prescription

Drug Plan at this time.

There are also Special Enrollment Periods when you

may switch plans outside of the Annual Election Period.

If you are new to Medicare, choices during your Open

Enrollment Period will be based around the time you are

first eligible.

Herlica of the Professional Service Group, LLC is a

Retirement Healthcare Specialist and can be reached at

terri.herlica1@gmail.com or (336) 987-2372.

25% off

any item priced $25 or more

Expires Oct. 29, 2011. One coupon per visit. Must have coupon for discount to apply.











12 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Maestro hits perfect pitch in Pinehurst

Maestro and pianist David

Michael Wolff was a regular

performer at Carnegie Hall when he chose

the Sandhills over Manhattan. That choice led to the

formation of the Carolina Philharmonic, a fast-growing

orchestra performing 20 times per year in the Sandhills.

“I chose Pinehurst because I see a lot of untapped

potential,” Wolff, 36, says.

Wolff is an international musician who debuted as a

piano soloist at the age of 12. His talents have yielded

him many awards and recognitions. The “Barletta

Weekly” said he is “a musician and a virtuoso” and that

it is “as if the piano were an extension of his own body.”

After mastering the piano, Wolff launched a second

career as conductor and studied in Rome where he

met his wife Young Mee Jun, a vocalist. The couple was

living in New York City when their daughter Rachel was

born. They did not want to raise Rachel, now 5, in the

city. Pinehurst caught Wolff’s eye when he conducted

“Porgy and Bess” in Fayetteville. He conducted again a

few months later and brought Jun with him. She saw

Pinehurst and asked Wolff, “When are we moving here?”

“I already knew Pinehurst for its golf reputation, and

for a place like Pinehurst, it was really odd that it didn’t

have its own professional orchestra,” Wolff says. “I was

looking for a home base to establish a new paradigm

for arts education.”

That paradigm is the Pinehurst Performing Arts Center

(PPAC), a parent organization for the philharmonic,

a facility and a conservatory. Wolff dreams of a

conservatory that will bring the best musicians to

Pinehurst and that will help musicians master one of

their weaknesses: self-marketing.

“If you go to any major conservatories like Juilliard,

you’re trained to believe you have something of so

much value that people are just going to come to

you,” Wolff says of upper-echelon musicians. “When

it doesn’t happen, you give up. What Conservatory

International will do is allow these musicians to market

their talent.”

Wolff and his cadre of 100+ volunteers already have the

By Melanie Coughlin

Special to OutreachNC

Photos by Mollie Tobias

support of Village of Pinehurst on the

center and conservatory. The Village

has offered the old fire station as PPAC headquarters.

Though support for PPAC has grown quickly, Wolff

had discouraging moments over the last two years.

“Our first concert was an orchestra of 25 at Weymouth,”

Wolff says “with three people in the audience.

“Two were comp, and one was a critic from Raleigh,”

he adds with chagrin. “We should have given up.”

He did not, and today, his concerts fill Owens

Auditorium to its maximum capacity of 700.

One of PPAC’s ardent volunteers, Kathy Wilford, says

Wolff’s work is “fabulous for Pinehurst.”

“It’s like a gift from heaven (to have this here),” she

says. “I’ve had the opportunity to attend concerts all

over the world, and it’s just incredible to have it here in

our back yard.”

Wilford focuses her volunteer work on getting word

out about upcoming concerts, including The Four

Freshmen in October and a Pops series in November. For

information on upcoming concerts, call the box office at

(910) 687-4746 or visit www.carolinaphil.org.


OutreachNCOctober 2011 13

W I t h A N E Igh boR hood f u l l of

u N Iqu E A N d SPEC I A l PEoPl E , you C A N ENjoy

t h E loC A l ColoR A N y t I m E you’d l I k E .

At our continuing care retirement community, you’ll meet some pretty

interesting and colorful people from diverse backgrounds with common

interests—lasting friendships just waiting to happen. And, we offer

plenty of social opportunities to get to know them. Call us to learn

about the variety of spacious living options and special incentives we offer

at (910) 692-0386 or (910) 692-0382. Visit us at www.penickvillage.org.



500 East Rhode Island Avenue | Southern Pines, NC 28387 | (866) 545-1018 toll-free


14 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Raising cows the way nature intended

By Carrie Frye

Staff Writer

In a lush green pasture of knee-high grass in

Mount Gilead, Black Angus cattle graze. It is a

picture-perfect pastoral setting that Dale and

Sharon Thompson simply call home. Their 170-acre

farm has been in their families since 1956. After doing

shift work for 28 years at a nearby aluminum plant,

Dale always farmed in his down time. When he retired,

farming became his full-time job again. Three years ago,

a meeting on grass-fed

cattle led the family

to cultivate their

farmland into

Hilltop Angus

Farm, where

“we grow grass,

and the cows do

the rest” is their


“I’m doing

exactly what

I want to be

doing,” says

Dale, 57, who

attributes the idea

of selling grass-fed beef to his son

Justin and shares the farm duties

with both sons, Justin and Cory,

making it truly a family endeavor.

Thirty-five acres are divided into

12 sections where the cattle can

graze and rotate through.

“All the grass is sodded in. We do

have some weeds. I prefer not to spray

any chemicals unless I absolutely

have to,” says Dale, driving his John

Deere Gator vehicle through the field

calling out, “C’mon girls, C’mon babies,” leading them

to a new section of grass to graze upon, “Everything is

Angus, except for one red cow,” he adds of the 95 cows

currently on the farm.

One cow can eat approximately 100 pounds of grass

every day, and all the cows are raised naturally without

growth hormones or antibiotics. Grass-fed cattle provide

meat that is leaner, lower in saturated fat and calories,

higher in omega-3 fatty acids and is said to have better

flavor and taste according to customers. Studies have

linked those eating diets rich in omega-3 as less likely

to be afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease, depression and


All of the Hilltop Angus meats are processed at Mays

Meat in Taylorsville, where they cut, vacuum-seal and

flash-freeze the product, so it is ready for customers.

All of the meats are USDA-inspected and both the farm

and processor are

Animal Welfare

Approved. A

1 , 0 0 0 - p o u n d

steer yields

a p p r o x i m a t e l y

330 pounds of

finished product.


page 15

Photos by Mollie Tobias

Sharon and Dale Thompson

offer their Black Angus

grass-fed beef as a

healthier alternative to

conventional beef.


OutreachNCOctober 2011 15

Cooking Classes | Gourmet Foods

Olive Oils & Balsamic Vinegars

Dale and Sharon make their

Angus beef available to customers

via orders through their web site,

w w w. h i l l topangusgrassfe d. com,

the Moore County Farmers Market

in Southern Pines and Pinehurst as

well as to customers in Wilmington.

Sometimes, orders come in quicker

than they anticipate.

“The limiting factor for us is steaks. I

like to always have something extra for

the customers,” Dale says.

“But that’s what makes us a small

family farm,” adds Sharon, 51.

Sharon, who still works full-time as

a teaching assistant, handles all the

paperwork and web site for the farm.

“It is amazing what the Internet does

for the farm in this century. Farming is

nothing like it was in my grandmother’s

day,” she says.

Sharon also tends to 15 Barred

Plymouth Rocks chickens that lay one

Photos by Mollie Tobias

egg a day.

“We cannot keep enough eggs at the

market,” adds Sharon as she collects the

fresh eggs. “I’m just a farm girl. Both of

us grew up on a farm. It is a simple life,

and we are blessed to do what we do.”

In addition to the cattle, Hilltop also

has commercial hogs and pasture

chickens on the farm, which enables

them to offer that something extra to

their beef customers in the form of

fresh pork and whole chickens.

Although the animals on the farm are

raised for consumption, Dales tends to

them all with caring hands.

“I do get attached. I know where my

animals are going. I also know that

they live a good life here on the farm,

and that they were put here to nourish

us. I do everything I can to make them

healthy and wholesome,” Dale explains.

“The most gratifying part is having

people say they appreciate what you

do. I had never been told that before. It

is the friends you make and the warm

welcome we always get at the farmers

market that make it all worthwhile.”

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16 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Cooking Simple

Rhett Morris

Warm up with fresh chili


remember the first time I touched a cow. I was

maybe four or five years old, and my dad had

traded woodwork for a calf. He brought the calf

home and put it in an open dog lot we had. I still recall

wondering if that calf would try to sleep in the dog

house. Eventually we found a pasture to raise the calf

and fed and cared for him until it was time to butcher

him. I had grown somewhat fond of the calf and did not

fully understand why this process had to occur, but I do

remember that the beef tasted fresh and that the pot

roast my mother made was delicious.

Many restaurants today are featuring local products. I

prefer producers that practice hormone- and antibioticfree

farming. We have several farmers in our area that

are doing just that. I also look for grass-fed animals,

as this is a more natural source of food. Feeding them

grains is typically done to make them bigger and to

produce more meat.

I was able to visit Hilltop Angus Farm recently in

nearby Mount Gilead. Dale Thompson (pictured above)

is doing things the right way by letting Hilltop’s cattle

eat only grass and by not using hormones or antibiotics.

They also raise pigs and chickens along with the cattle.

They have humane practices and take pride in their care

of the animals and products they produce.

I have used Hilltop’s ground pork to make my own

sausage and will soon be able to get ox tails. This month,

I am making a dish of fall chili that uses Hilltop’s ground

pork and beef stew cuts (you can substitute in your

favorite meat). This is a great dish to make on a brisk

fall Saturday morning. Go to your local farmers market


and get all the ingredients you need to make this chili.

If you want to buy directly from the farm, visit www.

hilltopgrassfed.com, call (910) 439-5261 or meet them

at the Moore County Farmers Market, and they will have

your order ready when you arrive.

Hilltop Chili

1 lb. Hilltop Angus Farm Stew Beef

1 lb. Hilltop Angus Farm Ground Pork

2 Red Peppers Diced

1 Green Pepper Diced

1 Sweet Onion Diced

2 Stalks Celery Diced

1 Clove Garlic Minced

6 Jalapeño Peppers Diced

2 16 0z. Can Plum Tomatoes Crushed

1 Cup Water

½ Cup of Flour

¼ Cup of Chili Powder

¼ Cup of Paprika

2 Tbl. Spoons Cumin

2 Tbl. Spoons Salt

2 Tbl. Brown Sugar

2 Tbl. Spoons Pepper

Pinch of Cinnamon

¼ Cup Olive Oil

Lightly oil a large soup pot. Coat the beef with flour,

and brown it in your oiled soup pot. Put the beef aside,

and cook pork until brown. Add the beef and all diced

veggies to your pot and cook until veggies soften a bit.

Add tomatoes, water and all spices, then let cook for

an 90 minutes, and serve with all the chili topping you

like. This is great for game day or to freeze in individual


Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering

in Southern Pines, can be reached at (910) 695-3663.

Procedure brings relief to lumbar spinal stenosis

Retired nurse Anita Abatemarco found herself

putting some of her old professional skills

into use during her husband’s final illness last

summer. But turning and lifting her beloved Rocco took

a toll on her lower back, and it was not long before

the tiny 79-year-old was holding onto furniture to get

around her Pinehurst home – especially in the morning

when the pain was more severe. Nothing, not even

three epidural injections, seemed to help.

“I had no relief from the pain,” Abatemarco says.

A new treatment option provided by a pain specialist

at FirstHealth’s Back & Neck Pain Center offers the

chance for relief for people like Abatemarco who

suffer from lumbar spinal

stenosis (LSS). The

MILD (Minimally Invasive

Lumbar Decompression)

procedure relieves the

pain by removing a

primary source of LSS

pain, which is caused by

narrowing in the spinal

canal due to the growth of

bone or tissue.

LSS is a common

condition with more

than 1.2 million patients

diagnosed each year. As

the space in the spinal

canal shrinks, increasing

pressure is placed on the

nerves that go through it

to the legs, causing pain,

numbness or weakness in

the lower back, buttocks,

legs and feet.

Paul Kuzma, M.D., of

Pinehurst Anesthesia

Associates, is one of

only a handful of North

Carolina physicians who

have been trained in the

MILD procedure, which

has been proven safe and

effective in several clinical


Patients most likely to

benefit from the treatment

are usually in their 60s,

70s and 80s, and most

have tried a variety of

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OutreachNCOctober 2011 17

other therapies without success.

Abatemarco, who was one of Dr. Kuzma’s first MILD

patients, had been dealing with severe pain that began

in her pelvis and radiated down her right leg and into

her ankle. She was immediately interested when Dr.

Kuzma first mentioned the procedure to her and is very

pleased with the results.

“When you have that pain, you don’t want it to ever

come back,” she says. “I’m grateful for this procedure.

I really am.”

For more information on the MILD procedure for lumbar

spinal stenosis or the FirstHealth Back & Neck Pain

Center, call (910) 715-1478 or (800) 213-3284.

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18 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Risky business


do not think anyone would disagree that there is

risk in investing, but Wall Street is not Las Vegas. We

take on systematic risk in order to grow our money.

My job is to help clients manage and plan for risk… kind

of like making lemonade out of potential lemons.

The first step to your lemonade recipe: determine

your taste preferences. We can call it your “sleep

number” or more formally, your “risk tolerance.” It’s

your tolerance for fluctuations in order to reap the

rewards because there is a correlation; higher risk can

mean higher reward.

Risk Tolerance Exercise: You should start with a

realistic investment amount for you, I’ll use $100,000,

but you can pick any number, just use something

realistic, so this exercise is personal.

First, let’s see the upside: close your eyes and imagine

your money goes up by 20 percent. Go on, close your

eyes. My example would be $120,000. Most people

would have a good feeling, so we’ll move on.

Now let’s try the downside. Imagine your original

investment goes down by 20 percent to $80,000. How

does that feel? Take a second and consider what you

would do. Do you sell it now so you don’t lose anymore?

Or do you hold on to it?

There are two reasons to sell:

you need the money or the

fundamentals of your investment

strategy have changed. If you

chose to sell because of a 20

percent drop, try the exercise

again with 10 percent, then

5 percent. Where are you

Money Matters

Taylor Clement

comfortable enough that you can reap the long-term

rewards of investing without falling victim to the shortterm

ups and downs?

Now if only someone would calculate real investment

numbers for you… wait, they have! Analysts have already

calculated this “variance” number for most investments

based on their historical performance and it can be

found in two forms: beta and standard deviation. Of

course, historical performance is no guarantee of future

results, but it can help you better evaluate your options.

Beta is standardized and makes comparisons easier,

so we’ll use it. A beta of one means the investment

fluctuates right along with normal market fluctuations.

Higher betas indicate higher volatility. For example, if

Stock A has a beta of 1.5, when the stock market goes

up 10 percent, Stock A can be expected to go up about

15 percent. This works the opposite way as well: if the

market drops 10 percent, Stock A should go down by

15 percent.

If the exercise above helped you decide that you prefer

less bumpy roads, you should look for investments with

a beta of less than 1. For example, if Stock B has a Beta

of 0.5, it will fluctuate up and down about half as much

as the market.

As always, diversification is important regardless of

your risk tolerance, so use multiple investments and

consider the beta of your portfolio as well as each

investment. Next month, we’ll talk more about less

obvious risks. Until then, you’re always welcome to

contact me with questions because a smart investor is a

wealthy investor!

Clement is a financial planner with Clement Capital

Group. She offers securities and advisory services as

an investment adviser representative of Commonwealth

Financial Network(R), a member firm of FINRA/SIPC a

Registered Investment Advisor. She can be reached at

(910) 693-0032 or taylor@clementcapitalgroup.com


Music reminds me


OutreachNCOctober 2011 19

It is funny what memories stick with me over the

years. I remember my mom quietly singing “Tie

A Yellow Ribbon (‘Round The Ole Oak Tree)” by

Tony Orlando and Dawn one night while riding in our

yellow ’73 VW Bug. She was a shy performer even in

her compact car.

I recently began wondering where the merging of

ribbons, all colors, and symbolism began in American

history. In 1979, Penney Laingen, wife of a hostage

who had been taken in Iran, was inspired by the song,

“Tie A Yellow Ribbon (‘Round The Ole Oak Tree).”

Tying yellow ribbons on trees signaled her desire to

see her husband home again. News reports began

following Laingen, and yellow ribbons sprouted up

across the country in solidarity. This was the beginning

of ribbons having special meaning.

In 1991, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer

Foundation gave out pink ribbons to every participant

in its New York City race. Wearing pink, especially

during October’s National Breast Cancer Awareness

Month, promotes awareness and shows moral support

for better treatment, previvors, survivors, those who

lost their lives to breast cancer and the hope to find

a cure. In 2005, at a Rex Cancer Center Event in

Raleigh, I wore a pink ribbon as a supporter of breast

cancer patients, one of whom was my mother. Yet

again, a song is automatically conjured in my head.

“Lean On Me” by Bill Withers gave the audience a

super charge that day. “Lean on me, when you’re not

strong, and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on,”

inspired not only me but also a huge crowd of women

and their supporters that day.

Music is a powerful trigger for recollections. Brain

scans have revealed the medial pre-frontal cortex that

sits just behind the forehead allows us to go down

musical memory lane. It provides a soundtrack for a

mental movie to begin playing in our brains. Music

envokes more powerful autobiographical memories.

This could even possibly explain why some Alzheimer’s

patients may still recall songs from their distant past.

One recent song that floods my memories is “Waitin’

On A Woman” by Brad Paisley. This is the last song

my mom and I shared before she was unable to share

music with me anymore. “And I don’t guess we’ve been

anywhere, she hasn’t made us late I swear, sometimes

she does it just ‘cause she can do it,” brings a huge

smile to my face with a quick flutter of missing my

mom. She made us late everywhere we went. This

song was played at her memorial service. During my

speech, I explained how she was holding on at the

end of her life because she was

always late.

Music means a great deal to me.

Think about what songs mean a

lot to you and what memories they

bring to mind. Cherish and share

your memories with the ones

you love through song, too.

Murr, Community Educator

at Preferred Living Solutions,

a care management team, can be

reached by e-mail at jill@preferredlivingsolutions.com or

(919) 554-0675.

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20 OutreachNCOctober 2011

What causes back pain?

The back is a complicated structure of

vertebrae separated by discs, held together

by ligaments and muscles. It must be flexible

enough to provide a wide range

of movements and yet strong

enough to protect the spinal cord

and the delicate nerve fibers which

exit between each vertebrae. The

spine functions as a whole, so if

we have mechanical disturbances

in one part of the spine, even as

Back Care

Michael L. Hall, D.C.

far away from the lower back

as the neck, it can influence

conditions in another area

of the spine. Imbalances in

the pelvis, problems in the sacroiliac joints, facet

fixations, as well as joint restrictions in the mid-back

and the neck, can contribute to the process of disc

degeneration, weakening the joint and making it

susceptible to injury. Back pain can be caused by any

combination of sprained ligaments, strained muscles,

ruptured disks, and irritated joints, any or all of which

can lead to pain. A “slipped disc” most often occurs

when a number of these and other factors act together

resulting in injury.

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Of course, your

spine could

be normal in

every way

and become

injured in a

fall, accident

or sports injury.

Just as often,

h o w e v e r ,


from lesser,

earlier injuries

accumulate and

compound as the years

go by so that eventually the simplest of movements

(for example, bending over to pick up your shoes from

the floor) can have painful results. In addition, arthritis,

poor posture, lack of exercise, weight gain, and even

psychological stress can cause or complicate back

pain. Most back pain is mechanical in nature. Less

frequently, back pain can also directly result from

medical pathology such as kidney stones, infections,

blood clots, bone loss (osteoporosis) and others. A

complete history and a thorough examination can rule

in or rule out a wide range of possibilities.

A pinched nerve occurs when too much pressure

is applied for too long to a nerve by surrounding

tissues—such as by bones, cartilage, muscles, tendons,

ligaments, spinal discs or (rarely) tumor. Everyone has

at one time or another applied too much pressure to

the “funny bone” in their elbow, which is actually the

ulnar nerve. This physical pressure disrupts the nerve’s

function, causing pain, tingling, numbness or weakness.

Too much pressure applied for too long to a nerve along

the spine results in much the same sensations.

Of the seven broad categories resulting in nerve

dysfunction, only one, direct physical pressure, is

properly referred to as a pinched nerve. The most

common reasons for the direct physical pressure are a

result of the changes occurring with degenerative disc

disease (DDD) and/or degenerative joint disease (DJD).

Nerve pain resulting from direct physical pressure is

called an entrapment neuropathy because the nerve is

trapped or pinched by some structure. This term helps

to distinguish them from neuropathies resulting from

infection or disease.


Hall, D.C. of Triangle Disc Care in Raleigh can be

reached at (919) 571-2515 or DrMLHall@nc.rr.com.

Courses introduce tablet computers to users


OutreachNCOctober 2011 21

Tablet computers are everywhere and come in a variety of brands and user interfaces. According to a New York

Times article published in March, the Apple iPad is by far, the most popular to date. Useful “apps” or software

are available for

Creative Retirement this device, and

Lori Venable Williams many of them are

free to download.

Laura Todd, coordinator of computer training in

the Division of Continuing Education at Sandhills

Community College, has been teaching courses to

introduce our community to this popular technological

trend. “What’s an iPad?” and “iPad 101” are two current

offerings in Continuing Education at Sandhills.

“While the iPad is classified as a smart device, it is very

different from the average desktop computer to which

most people were introduced. The objective of the

courses is to familiarize participants with the interface

and, as other brands increase in popularity, we will work

to meet those needs as well,” says Todd.

Controlling 85 percent of the tablet market, Apple’s

introduction of the second generation iPad in a thinner,

faster and lighter version of the first generation iPad

made the Apple version even more competitive with

rising models like Samsung and Motorola, according to

the New York Times article.

Because of the

diverse apps available

to consumers, the iPad

has become a popular

device for those 65 and

older. For instance, apps

like Bingo, the Weather

Channel, NPR, Scrabble,

iBooks and Pandora

make this device

attractive to this age group. Additionally, Facetime,

an exclusive Apple app, provides an opportunity for

face-to-face communication with friends, children and

grandchildren streaming over the Internet.

There are multiple accessories for the iPad making

it even more attractive to consumers. Bluetooth

keyboards enhance the portability of the device adding

to its allure.

“We anticipate that many work environments will

supply employees with tablet computers providing

workers with mobility, increasing the need for our

classes on an occupational level in the near future,”

continues Todd.

View the computer training offerings and the fall

semester schedule at www.sandhills.edu/coned.

22 OutreachNC OutreachNCOctober 2011October 2011

My office at the

Southern Pines Police

Department seems

to get an unusual number of

telephone calls and inquiries

that most people would

not consider a matter for

the police. However,

being a 24- hour/seven

day a week branch of

government, we are

always available and

readily accessible.

One such

phone call came

into my office

recently as a

citizen was


to display

an American flag

honoring the fallen heroes

of 9/11. It seems this citizen

had just purchased an American flag

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Flagging a tax inquiry


in North Carolina and paid

sales tax on this purchase.

He relayed that while living

in Vermont during the 9/11

terrorist attacks, he purchased

many American flags,

none of which were

subject to sales tax.

The caller was adamant

that American flags

Consumer Beware

Bob Temme

were exempt from sales tax and that the business

establishment from which he made this purchase was

engaging in what the caller described as a “federal


Since there is generally no “Federal Sales Tax,” this

is an issue pertaining to state law and state sales tax.

That debunks the theory that charging sales tax on an

American flag is a federal crime, but it certainly piqued

my curiosity about state and local taxes levied against

the purchase of Old Glory. I suspected that since the

caller was comparing his purchase in Vermont in 2001

to his purchase in North Carolina in 2011, there had

either been a change in the law over the past ten years

or that tax laws varied by state.

After some research, I discovered it to be the latter. The

following states do not charge sales tax on the American

flag: Connecticut, Florida, Massachusetts, New York,

New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Wisconsin.

In the states of California, Virginia, and Vermont taxexemption

status applies, if you are veteran group or

government agency, depending on certain varying

conditions. Of course, there are always the five U.S.

states, Alaska, Delaware, Montana, New Hampshire and

Oregon, with no sales tax on most retail purchases.

The bad news for my inquiring caller is that since

he purchased his flag in North Carolina, sales tax

applies. The good news is that American pride is still

alive and well with citizens still proud to fly the red,

white and blue.

Even though it was interesting for me to research

this inquiry, I would recommend that for tax advice

you consult a professional who would be able to better

guide you in the complex maze of tax laws.

For more information, contact the Community Services

Serving you from

Unit of the Southern Pines Police Department by calling

Holly Springs, NC

(910) 692-2732 extension 2852.

with delivery

services available.

Communities offer wide range of care

Senior retirement communities offer a wide

variety of lifestyle options. The choices can

be overwhelming if you wait until a crisis

instead of planning ahead. For example, did you

realize that some retirement communities require

a large upfront buy-in fee, where others offer a low

entrance fee and a monthly rental agreement? Now

is the time to visit and explore which option best

suits your current health and financial needs and

what additional assistance or health care you might

need down the road.

Some retirement communities are only for seniors

who are completely independent and active. These


offer services and amenities such as dining, activities

and housekeeping. Other retirement or senior living

communities offer private apartments, but also have

ASSISTED LIVING services, which typically include

services such as medication reminders, dressing and

bathing assistance, etc. FULL-SERVICE RETIREMENT

COMMUNITIES, sometimes called continuing care

retirement communities (or CCRCs) offer independent

living, assisted living, and health care or skilled nursing

home care. In a CCRC, you do not have to relocate

to another community if your

health declines temporarily

or permanently, but you

will more than likely have

to change apartments. Some

communities also provide


services that specialize



Ask if the community

OutreachNCOctober 2011 23



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Call and visit the communities in your area to

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until a crisis and then have no choice. Act now, and

plan for your future lifestyle needs.

Ragsdale, marketing director at Fox Hollow Senior Living,

can be reached at Eragsdale@5sqc.com or (910) 695-0011.


24 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Fayetteville resident Harold Matthews was

listening to the radio when he heard about a

clinical trial for people who were having trouble

walking after a stroke. He went immediately to the

phone, called up the radio station to get the information

and then contacted FirstHealth of the Carolinas’ Center

for Outpatient Rehabilitation.

Within a few weeks, he was enrolled in a Pinehurstheadquartered

study that compares traditional foot

drop therapy to 21st century electronic technology.

Because the trial is randomized, Matthews, a utility

company worker who was disabled by his stroke,

received a traditional plastic brace and not the

electronic WalkAide device being tested. His incentive

for completing the yearlong trial was the promise of his

own WalkAide – at no cost.

He got it this summer.

“I think it’s helping,” Matthews says. “My wife thinks it

is, too. I just got it a few weeks ago. I’ve still got some

getting used to it.”

Foot drop is caused by weakness on one side of the

body (hemiparesis) that keeps the affected individual

from picking up the stroke-impaired foot when walking.

FirstHealth’s Center for Outpatient Rehabilitation,

located on Aviemore Drive in Pinehurst, is one of only

30 test sites for the national INSTRIDE study.

Bruce Solomon, D.O., with Pinehurst Neurology, is

principal investigator for the local study. Since the

patient goal is 75, enrollment is continuing. Because the

Pinehurst location was the first trial site in the Southeast,

it has attracted patients from throughout the region.

“We have a lady who drives from Florida,” says

Ginny Barbour, a physical therapist involved with the

FirstHealth program.

Thirty patients have enrolled in the FirstHealth trial

so far, and six, including Matthews, have completed the

study and gotten their personal WalkAide. Four have

had the device since they started the program.

Because of weakness in the impaired leg, patients

with foot drop can’t pick up their foot to clear their

toes for walking. “They often trip over their toes, and

they may fall,” says Jill Botnick, director of FirstHealth

Outpatient Rehabilitation.

Unlike the traditional brace (ankle foot orthosis or

AFO) that keeps the foot from catching the ground, the

Hospital Health

Therapy program provides site for foot drop study

WalkAide issues an electric impulse to stimulate the

nerve in the foot after a sensor recognizes the leg tilt

indicating the beginning of a step.

Since it is worn just below the knee, the pager-sized

stimulator can be worn with a variety of shoe styles.

To be eligible for the WalkAide trial, a patient

must have had the stroke at least 90 days before

beginning the study and completed physical therapy

at least 30 days previously. This ensures that any

improvement in gait is caused by the device and not

medical intervention or physical therapy. Prospective

participants must also be Medicare-eligible, although

not necessarily 65 years of age if medically disabled.

Since enrollment includes a screening that indicates

how well the patient walks, each study site is required

to have a mapping system to record walking speed

and step length. A $30,600 grant from the Moore

Regional Hospital Foundation provided the funding

for the GAITRite system used in the FirstHealth


If you have had

a stroke and are

e x p e r i e n c i n g

d i f f i c u l t y

walking, call

(877) 232-3189

toll-free to learn

more about the

INSTRIDE clinical


Fayetteville resident

Harold Matthews

received a WalkAide

device to assist with

his stroke-related

foot drop at no cost

after participating in

a clinical trial offered

at the FirstHealth

Center for Outpatient



Hospital Health

New physician specializes

in internal medicine

Scotland Health Care System’s newest physician

comes to Laurinburg following completion of

a four-year residency program at Harvard

University that allows her to

specialize in both internal medicine

and pediatrics.

Dr. Ashley Lamb joins Harris

Family Practice in providing health

care to patients of all ages. She

earned her undergraduate degree

from Yale University in Biomedical


“I love the science of biomedical

engineering, but felt I was too far

removed from the people I wanted

to help,” she says. “For a while I was

an EMT and worked at an all-boys’

summer camp. I loved taking care

of the kids and other counselors

so I decided medical school was

the right place for me. Taking care of others is my great

passion in life.”

Before entering medical school, Dr. Lamb spent a year

in AmeriCorpsNCCC, serving in four states and one U.S.

territory. During that year, she helped build houses, tutor

children, and offered disaster relief.

While earning her medical degree from the University

of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Dr. Lamb also earned

a Master’s in Public Health. She then moved to

Massachusetts for a four-year residency training program

at the Harvard-associated Massachusetts General

Hospital Internal Medicine and Pediatrics Residency

Program, where she served as Chief Resident in her

fourth year.

According to Dr. Lamb, “During residency, I alternated

taking care of adults and children every three months. I

am excited to get to take care of both every day now at

Harris Family Practice.”

Taking care of patients through the whole lifespan is

Dr. Lamb’s goal.

“During my residency I loved caring for entire families,”

she says. “I love taking care of both adults and children

and getting to know the family unit.”

You can meet Dr. Lamb at an open house at Harris

Family Practice, Tuesday, Oct. 18, from 5 to 7 p.m.

Appointments can be scheduled with Dr. Lamb by calling

the practice at (910) 276-6767.


OutreachNCOctober 2011 25

“Women helping

women have a life”

Cleaning Services for:


•Small Businesses

•Move Ins/Outs

•Special Occasions

A Detail Cleaning

Serving the Sandhills


Lala Caddell,Owner Est. 2006

26 OutreachNCOctober 2011

OutreachNCOctober 2011

Team effort

aids area

fire victims

Photo by Mollie Tobias

Jana Snowball, left, Buddy Spong and Meg Finnin of the Moore County Chapter of the American Red Cross in downtown Southern Pines

display care bags of personal and household itemsgiven to fire victims regrouping from their loss.

Thanks to the legend of Mrs.

O’Leary’s cow, who kicked over a

lantern and started a fire, which

became known as the Great Chicago Fire in October

1871, every year at this time, we pay special attention

to fires and the damage they do.

Fires are the single most common disaster across the

nation. Last year, the American Red Cross responded

to 74,000 disasters in the United States, 93 percent of

which were fire-related. In Moore County, there is a

special group of people who respond after a fire has

caused damage. They make up the Fire Recovery

Ministry of the New Covenant Fellowship Church in


The Red Cross calls on the Fire Recovery Ministry

when help beyond what the Red Cross can provide is

needed. Tim Irby heads up the team that supplements

the help from the Red Cross. Jana Snowball of the

Red Cross says that Tim and his team are “wonderful

… they help in so many ways.” Meg Finnin, also of the

Red Cross, says she “can’t praise them enough.”

There is a very clear understanding between 9-1-1,

the Red Cross and the Fire Recovery Mission. After a

9-1-1 fire call is received, the Red Cross is contacted.

Following their assessment of the situation, they contact

Irby and his team. The Fire Recovery Ministry provides

additional assistance that may not be available from

the Red Cross and often continues to help a family

impacted by as fire.

The Red Cross is the first responder and provides

a victims’ needs assessment. They provide $130 for

clothing for each person, three nights in a hotel and a

food allowance of $115 for a family of four, a;; of which

is made possible through a grant received from the

By Ann Robson

Special to OutreachNC


Moore County Community Foundation.

The Fire Recovery Ministry prepares

a “Recovery Box” for two adults and two

If the family size varies, so too will the


material in the box. In that recovery box, they

place toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, disposable

razors, shaving cream, hairbrushes, combs, shampoo

and conditioner, q-tips, a first-aid kit, two sets of gloves

(latex and work), dust masks and flashlights. A manila

envelope containing gift certificates for Wednesday

night dinner at the church, spiral note pads with pen,

post-it note pads, bible, county resource guides with

public assistance phone numbers, local phone book,

devotional materials, deck of playing cards and a

Hallmark greeting card.

Another tote, a locking 30-gallon tub, holds towels,

washcloths, fleece blankets, pillows and pillowcases,

clothing (the one-size-fits-most such as sweat suits,

slip on shoes, etc. for children and adults). Optional

items available include a pre-paid cell phone card,

additional hotel night, fast food gift certificate, Wal-Mart

gift card, and Angel food box. Standby items include a

roll of plastic, pet carriers, tarps, small kennel fence,

pet food, clean-up kit and abuilding materials fund. A

work crew will do repairs, if needed. The Red Cross

has a small budget for labor and materials.

The Sandhills/Moore Coalition for Human Care helps

as well with food, clothing and paperwork.

“We do what we can, “says Pastor Lee McKinney of

the New Covenant Fellowship Church.

Those wishing to help the Fire Recovery Ministry

can send donations to the Fire Recovery Ministry, New

Covenant Fellowship, 1305 Hulsey Rd.,Carthage, NC

28327. They are a 501(c)3 group.


OutreachNCOctober 2011 27

28 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Diabetes mellitus is a major health problem in

the United States. Diabetes leads to damage

to the small blood vessels throughout the

body, primarily involving the eyes, kidneys, peripheral

nerves and heart. According to the American Diabetes

Association, it is estimated that 20 million Americans

suffer from diabetes.

It is paramount that a complete eye examination

is performed at the time of diagnosis in adult-onset

diabetics and within five years of diagnosis in juvenile

diabetics to screen for retinopathy, damage to the

sensitive nerve tissue in the back of the eye. According

to the National Eye Institute, diabetic retinopathy is the

most common diabetic eye disease and a leading cause

of blindness in American adults, existing in various

forms including retinal swelling, bleeding, or formation

of abnormal new blood vessels which may rupture and

fill the eye with blood.

Diabetic eye disease

encompasses a wide

range of problems

that can affect the

eyes. Diabetes

mellitus may cause a

reversible, temporary

blurring of the vision,

or it can cause a

severe, permanent

loss of vision.

Diabetes mellitus

increases the risk for

developing cataracts

and glaucoma. Some

people may not even

realize they have had

diabetes mellitus

for several years

until they begin to

experience problems

with their eyes or


Diabetic eye disease refers to a group of eye problems

that people with diabetes may face as a complication

of this disease. Severe diabetic eye disease most

commonly develops in people who have had diabetes

mellitus for many years and who have had little or

poor control of their blood sugars over that period of

Diabetes and your vision

time. Diabetes mellitus may

also result in heart disease,

stroke, kidney failure and

circulatory abnormalities of

the extremities.

Medical treatment of

diabetic eye disease is

generally directed

at the underlying

problem (the diabetes

itself ). The better

control a patient has

of the disease, the fewer problems they will have in the

long run.

Another common eye disease associated with

diabetes is cataracts. People with diabetes are more

at risk to develop cataracts at a younger age, but this

can usually be treated

with surgery.

Glaucoma is another

common eye disease

associated with

diabetes. Glaucoma

is a disease of the

optic nerve and can

go undetected until

the entire nerve

is destroyed and

blindness results.

Glaucoma may

be treated with

medications, laser

surgery or other forms

of surgery.

Patients with

diabetes mellitus

need regularly

scheduled eye

examinations with

their eye care

professionals to help

prevent or limit the severity of ocular damage and

vision loss in the years ahead.

Diabetic retinopathy treatment with laser surgery, proper follow-up and

care may reduce the risk of blindness, although laser surgery cannot restore

vision that is already lost. Treatment with injections of corticosteroids

or newer anti-vascular-proliferative medications in or around the eye is

extremely effective if initiated early.

Physician Focus

Miles W. Whitaker, M.D.

Dr. Whitaker, board-certified ophthalmologist with Cape Fear

Eye with offices in Fayetteville and Sanford, can be reached at

(800) 829-2284 or www.capefeareye.com.


Nominate volunteers for Governor’s award

The county-wide search has begun,

and we are looking for the cream

of the crop, the best Moore County

volunteers to receive the 2012 Governor’s Award for

Volunteer Service.

This year marks the 34th anniversary of this volunteer

recognition award, open to all ages and in diverse areas of

volunteer service, that showcases Moore County’s most

dedicated volunteers. By nominating a local volunteer,

you are not only recognizing their efforts but are casting

a vote for them to be one of six Moore County recipients

honored for their outstanding service.

Now is the time we say thank you and recognize our

Moore County volunteers for their faithful service.

Who is eligible to be nominated? Your neighbors,

classmates, co-workers, fellow church members or local

businesses, regardless of age and from any part of Moore

County may qualify. To nominate someone you know

or with whom you serve for this prestigious Governor’s

Award, there are some very simple qualifications. First, the

volunteer must have a minimum of one year of volunteer

service; secondly, two references are required for each

nomination. A new category, Director of Volunteers, has

been added to recognize paid volunteer directors.

Nominations are being accepted

for volunteers in 11 additional

categories: individual, family,

group/team, youth volunteer

(age 18 or younger), senior

volunteer (age 55 or older),

perseverance in volunteerism,

national service volunteer,

OutreachNCOctober 2011 29


Shiela Klein

outstanding mentor, faith-based volunteer, corporate

volunteerism and lifetime achievement.

It is up to you to cast your vote for Moore County’s

outstanding volunteers and respond quickly as the

deadline is Oct. 28. You have three easy ways to get a

copy of the official nomination form and guidelines. You

may pick it up at the Moore County Senior Enrichment

Center, download it at www.moorecountync.gov/index.

php/rsvp/upcoming-events or receive a form via e-mail by

contacting sklein@moorecountync.gov.

For information on available volunteer opportunities

in Moore and the surrounding counties, contact Sheila

Klein, Moore County RSVP, at (910) 215-0900 or sklein@

moorecountync.gov. In Wake County, contact City of

Raleigh Community Services Department’s at (919) 996-

6100 or e-mail Jennifer.Robinson-Hartle@raleighnc.gov.


30 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Lu Mil Vineyard

makes Dublin a


Photos by Carrie Frye/OutreachNC

Denise Bridgers helps keep family at the heart of Lu Mil Vineyard, which offers muscadine blends, venues for events and rental cabins on

their acreage in Dublin, just outside Elizabethtown in Bladen County. Lu Mil is a popular wedding destination, hosting approximately 65

weddings a year since opening in 2005. They now host an annual Bridal Show, the next is on Jan. 15, 2012, to showcase the vineyard.


framed photograph of Lucille and

Miller Taylor hangs on the wall inside

the wine tasting room and gift shop of Lu Mil

Vineyard, the name derived from the family matriarch

and patriarch, to welcome guests to their family’s land

in Dublin. Although Lucille and Miller did not live to see

the fruits of their sons’ labor, their legacy lives on. The

Taylor brothers, Ron and Oren, opened the vineyard in

December 2005 after the tobacco market faded.

Today, Lu Mil Vineyard is 58 acres of pristine rows

of picturesque grapevines consisting of 15 varieties of

muscadine grapes.

“Granddaddy’s original vines are there on the

building,” says Denise Bridgers, 43, Oren’s oldest

daughter and co-owner the vineyard with her Uncle

Ron since her father’s death in 2007. “Ron is what

makes this place go. He has the vision. I just handle

the business end,” she says, driving along a self-tour

that guests may follow during a vineyard visit.

Ron Taylor, 59, adds, “I love my mama and daddy,

and I consistently try to make them proud. They both

worked tirelessly, and my mother particularly liked

for things to be neat and pretty. My daddy would try

By Carrie Frye

Staff Writer

anything he thought he could make a penny

on, and mama squeezed a penny so tight

that Abraham Lincoln would cry.”

Bridgers continues,“Most local people are always

wondering what we (the Taylors) are going to do next.

The vineyard has become a destination, because you

have to find us,” referencing the vineyard’s location off

the beaten path near N.C. 87 in Bladen County.

Word-of-mouth is what Bridgers attributes to making

the vineyard a successful destination, but it could also

be the family’s willingness to re-invent themselves and

consistently add to the visitor experience. The large

tasting room is stocked and ready for all palettes,

equipped with a full-length wooden bar, café tables

to enjoy a quick bite from the deli and ornate displays

of wine accompaniments, jams, jellies, ciders, and

Muscadine Power pills packed with natural antioxidants.

Each of the family’s wines bear names of significance.

Old Cumberland, named for Cumberland County, from

where many patrons travel, is a soft, semi-dry white.

Taylor Divine boasts the family name and is a semisweet

mid-harvest white. Harmony Hall, named for a

nearby historic site, is sweet, fruity and cold-fermented.

continued page 31


OutreachNCOctober 2011 31

Bladen Blush, named for their

home county, is Bridgers’ favorite

and a late harvest blend. Cape

Owen Red is a traditional, Southern

red named for the Cape Fear River

and Gov. John Owen, who hailed

from Bladen County. And last but

not least, Sir Walter Raleigh is a

sweet red and bestseller at Lu Mil’s

location at the Raleigh Farmers

Market in the Market Shoppes that

is open seven days a week.

“Our alcohol free wines are

named Lucille’s Choice in honor

of grandma and the fact that she

did not like alcohol,” says Bridgers

with a quick grin as she points to

the picture of Miller and Lucille,”

and jokes,“we blindfold grandma’s

eyes sometimes, so she can’t see

what we are doing.”

Lucille Taylor would certainly be

happy knowing visitors can come

pick their own fresh grapes right

off the vine. She would be proud

of the large event room adjacent

to the tasting room overlooking

her own gardens and the Barrel

Room on the property that are now

venues for everything from an offsite

meeting to a fairytale wedding.

And then there’s Bridgers’

favorite spot named for her

grandfather, Doc’s Deck, which

offers expansive, tranquil views

of the pond and vineyard for

outdoor events.

“I just love it here,” says Bridgers

of the deck. “This is where I can

get away.”

Guests, too, can plan their own

getaway at one of the vineyard’s

six lakefront rental cabins.

Lu Mil also hosts its share of

popular events to draw a crowd.

Two outdoor stages welcome a

variety of musical acts. The North

Carolina Grape Festival will be

held Oct. 8 with a grape stomp

competition, vineyard tours aboard

Lu Mil’s red double-decker bus

and community yard sale from 8

a.m. to 3 p.m.

New this year, the vineyard will be

all lit up for a drive-thru Christmas

Light Show on weekends from

Thanksgiving to Christmas.

Visitors can sample the vineyard’s

seasonal blend, Merry Christmas,

while shopping in the gift shop for

a few unique Christmas presents.

Sharing the vineyard with the

community is an ongoing tradition

for the Taylors, which keeps family

at the heart of this vineyard. A

framed photograph of Oren with a

huge smile also adorns the tasting

room wall and is often referenced

by servers as they pour the wines

for patrons and tell the story of the


“Daddy and Ron were perfect

partners. Daddy was a genius,

mechanically smart, and Ron was

the salesman,” says Bridgers.

“Ron and I have always been

close, and he’s my confidante. I

have that same picture of Daddy

taped to my computer screen, and

whenever I am having a hard time

or a bad day, I will look at it and

say, ‘Quit laughing at me.’ I always

knew I would do something with

the family business, and I can’t

imagine doing anything else.”

Right from the farm


the “General Store”

“The way it used to be delivered.”

•Glass bottled Milk

•Farm churned Butter

“Farmers’ meats...Better flavor”

• Local Farmed Meats

Beef Chicken

Bison Pork

“Remember how we once ate from

the farm?’

•Local farm produce

•Local canned goods


10% off

when you buy


Not to be combined with other coupons,

gift certificates, or promotions.

905 Linden Rd., Pinehurst, NC



32 OutreachNCOctober 2011

There are a few things you can do to specifically ward off

memory loss. Most importantly, EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN!



• Every row of

9 numbers must

include all digits

1 through 9

• Every column

of 9 numbers

must include all

digits 1 through 9

• Every 3 by 3

subsection of the

9 by 9 square

must include all

digits 1 through 9

Grey Matter

See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 34


Rearrange the letters in each word

below to spell the names of words

pertaining to National Car Care Month.

rtie toniarto



loi gcehan


1. Kuwaiti, e.g.

5. Erased

10. Boor’s lack

14. Box office take

15. Start of a refrain

16. Bounce back, in a


17. Brawl

18. Three-___ fork

19. Heroin, slangily

20. Beginning

22. Equips for military


24. Lively intelligence

26. Home, informally

27. “Potemkin” setting

30. Wears away

32. Machine to cut and

bundle grain

33. Banquet

34. Blouse, e.g.

37. Driver’s licenses, for

one (2 wds)

39. Deer-like

41. “For shame!”

42. Exactly (3 wds)

44. Chemical cousin

45. Statue base

47. Most desperate

48. “Beat it!”

49. Harvest fly

51. More loyal

53. Pomp

57. Grasp

58. Retain with stone

60. “Field of Dreams”


61. Carbon compound

62. Fragrant resin

63. Alpine transport

64. Contradict

65. Big Bertha’s


66. Toy that comes

easily to hand


1. City on the Yamuna


2. Commuter line

3. Above

4. Residential suburb of

Washington, D.C.

5. His “4” was retired

6. Frock wearer

7. Imaginary

8. Type of guitar

9. Carpenter’s groove

10. Blue book filler

11. Computer’s interval

between request and

delivery (2 wds)

12. Mariner’s aid

13. Clothing

21. Claim

23. Lower surface

25. Forgive

27. Final notice

28. Lover of Aeneas

29. Vertebrate’s brain

31. Iroquoian language

35. Aces, sometimes

36. Chipper

38. Bags with shoulder


40. Excessive desire to


43. Those who steal

46. Forte

48. Backgammon piece

50. ___ de menthe

51. Abandon

52. Algonquian Indian

54. Gray wolf

55. “Shoo!”

56. Hawaiian tuber

59. Bolivian export


Asset allocation can help protect your portfolio

Over time, the value of stocks can go up and

down. Bond prices fluctuate with interest rates,

as do other types of fixed-income securities

such as certificates of deposit and investments in

money-market accounts. Predicting which investment

vehicles are likely to perform better than others at any

given point time is next to impossible. So how do you

choose investments for your portfolio?

The answer may be to follow a risk-reduction strategy

called asset allocation. Essentially, asset allocation

diversifies your portfolio among several distinct asset

classes. These may include stocks, bonds, real estate,

money markets, cash and more.

How do you decide which combination of

investments is right for

you? Start by asking

yourself the following


• Objectives – What

are your financial goals?

Do you want to retire

early or build your dream

house? How much money

will you need to save to

accomplish your goals?

• Risk Tolerance – Can

you stomach fluctuations

in the market? Do you

want a steady return with

little risk?

• Time Horizon – Will

you retire in five years?

Fifteen? Are you ready to

send your child to college

next year or in 10 years?

• Cash Flow – Do you

need a steady flow of

income now from your

investments, or can you

continue to put your

money away for a few

more years?

Answering these

questions will help both

you and your financial

advisor decide what

kind of asset allocation

will help you meet your

goals and then choose


specific investments that match

your appropriate allocations.

Bear in mind that although asset

allocation can help diversify your

portfolio, it does not protect

against fluctuating prices or

uncertain returns.

Baker, a financial advisor

with Wells Fargo Advisors in

Pinehurst can be reached at

(910) 692-3000.

People living with

diabetes face many


OutreachNCOctober 2011 33

Planning Ahead

James Michael Baker

Wells Fargo Advisors does not provide legal or tax advice. Be sure to consult with your tax and legal advisors before taking

any action that could have tax consequences. Any estate plan should be reviewed by an attorney who specializes in estate

planning and is licensed to practice law in your state. Trust services available through banking and trust affiliates in addition to

non-affiliated companies of Wells Fargo Advisors. Investments in securities and insurance products are: NOT FDIC-INSURED/

NOT BANK-GUARANTEED/MAY LOSE VALUE. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and

a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. ©2010 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.

We offer more solutions.

The FirstHealth Wound Care & Hyperbaric Centers at Moore Regional Hospital

and Richmond Memorial Hospital are specially equipped

to treat diabetic wounds with Medicare-approved advanced

treatments including hyperbaric oxygen therapy,

which is proven to increase healing success.

Get back to doing the things you love. If you have a

wound that has not healed, we have solutions. Our

state-of-the-art wound care offers a comprehensive

pathway of care.

Call (910) 715-5901 in Moore County

or (910) 417-3636 in Richmond County and find out

how we can expand your treatment options.


Diabetes Health Fair

Saturday, Nov. 12 • 9 a.m. - Noon

FirstHealth Specialty Centers Building in Pinehurst

For more information, call

(800) 213-3284


34 OutreachNCOctober 2011

How often have you heard either of these

phrases -- “It’s not your lead!” or “No spades,

partner?” Have you ever pulled out one card

from your hand only to find another flop onto the table

unintentionally? Any of these circumstance will result

in a “Penalty Card” that must be played as directed by

various laws of duplicate bridge. Should you ever find

that a card has been placed face up on the table that

should not have been played, call the director and let

him or her sort it out.

Penalty cards generally fall into two categories – Major

Penalty Cards and Minor Penalty Cards. Let’s cover the

simpler of the cases first - Minor Penalty cards.

A Minor Penalty Card is a non-honor card that was

played or exposed via an inadvertent act, such as

being stuck to another card as it came out of your hand.

Should two cards be played to a trick accidentally, the

player can choose which of the two cards they would

like to play to that trick. When a defender has a minor

penalty card, he may not play any other card of the

same suit below the rank of an honor until he has first

played the penalty card. However, he is still allowed to

play an honor card instead. Minor Penalty Cards carry

No lead penalties whatsoever.

Major Penalty Cards are cards of any rank exposed

through deliberate play, such as leading out of turn or

corrected revokes. If a player has two Minor Penalty

cards on the table, then sadly, they instantly become

Major Penalty Cards. From here, Major Penalty Cards

fall into two categories – when that player must play a

card to a trick or when his partner is on lead. When

playing to a trick, Major Penalty cards must be played

at their first legal opportunity, like following suit (even if

that would sacrifice a trick because he has a card in his

What’s that card doing there?

hand that could have won that trick),

or when discarding (even if that card

could have taken a subsequent trick,

like an ace).

When you have a penalty card on

the table, and it’s your partner’s lead,

the Declarer has various choices they

can make. The simplest choice is

to accept the lead out of turn, and

play in the normal rotation. Another

choice is to tell the leader to make

what ever lead they want to. In this

case, the card will be disposed of as above and played

at its first legal opportunity. The other choice is to

request or forbid the lead of that suit. If this choice is

exercised, the Penalty Card can be picked up from the

table and returned to the player’s hand and that card

can then be played whenever that player chooses to

play it. If the declarer forbids the lead of that suit, then

the defender on lead must lose the lead and regain it

before they may play the suit that declarer forbid.

After the hand is completed, the director can have

the final say in the matter. Should there be information

from the play of a Penalty Card (conveyed information

as to damage the non-offending side), then the director

can award an adjusted score. This circumstance is

quite rare.

Exposed card penalties can be quite harsh and you

would do best to avoid them. However, even the best

players will often make this mistake. All you can do is

hope that it does not cost you.

Bridge Club

Nancy Dressing

Dressing of Nancy’s Game in Southern Pines, can be

reached by e-mailing nancy@dressing.org.

Grey Matter Answers



tire rotation



oil change


Resources can ease burden of sandwich generation

More and more people are

living well into their 80s, 90s,

and even 100s as the world

population ages. The extraordinary

growth of the 65 and over crowd

is staggering: the number of senior

citizens over age

65 is growing three

times as fast as

that of the young.

The baby boom

generation is not

only caring for

its children,

but also

its parents,

terming what

is called “The Sandwich Generation.”

A typical caregiver, according to the

National Alliance for Caregiving, is “a

46-year-old woman, who is married,

working, and spends an average

of 18 hours a week caring for her

elderly mother.” Basic responsibilities

among these overly stressed and

overly burdened women are providing

transportation for their children and

parents, grocery shopping (not only

for their own family, but also for their

aged relatives), and doing household

chores in addition to assisting with

the basic aspects of daily living

(bathing, dressing, and feeding). These

“sandwiched” women visit doctors,

cook, clean and run errands with both

groups. Additionally, these special

women provide emotional, financial,

physical support and caregiving to their

Guiding Lights

Lauren Watral, MSW

children and aging parents and relatives.

Add working full-time to the equation

and you have overworked, anxious and

exhausted women.

Where do these women, unprepared

for the role of caregiver, turn to relieve

the burden? Who can help with

caring for their aging parents? Dr. Ken

Dychtwald, gerontologist and author

of “Age Power,” suggests that “the

most vital thing a caregiver can do is

find a trusted advisor—a person, not

a pamphlet—to help lead a family

through the thickets of health care,

financial, and emotional questions.”

The conceptualization of Geriatric

Care Management emerged in the

1980s from the tasks performed by

hospital discharge planners and social

workers that defined and finalized a

plan of care for people preparing to

leave the hospital. This hospital vocation

evolved into what is now Geriatric

Care Management, professionals who

“serve as consultants for families with

dependent older adults.”

The overly burdened adult children

of the baby boom generation are thrust

into caring for their aging parents. Often,

there are also nonprofit organizations

that can offer information and support.

The key is not being afraid to ask for

help, when you need it.

Watral, MSW, is owner of Raleigh

Geriatric Care Management and on the

Board of Directors for Guiding Lights

Caregiver Support Center in Raleigh. E-mail

caringissues@guidinglightsnc.org or call

(919) 371-2062.

OutreachNCOctober 2011 35


Drug Co. Inc.

311 Teal Drive




Night: 910-875-4186



· Commercial · Residential

· Landscaping · Lot Blowing

Tater Baker, Owner




36 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Avoiding mistakes in long-term care planning

Once you understand the financial risk posed

by a long-term care (LTC) event, the planning

process should begin. As you weigh the

options to cover the eventual and likely LTC event, there

are several common mistakes you should avoid.

Waiting Too Long to Address the Issue: There are

significant reasons to address potential LTC needs

sooner rather than later. Since the cost of LTC insurance

is primarily based on two factors, age and health status,

the older you are at the time of application, the more

you should expect the coverage to cost. And of course

as we age, there is a greater likelihood that health

issues will arise. The worst-case scenario is when we

actually wait too long to obtain coverage. Motivated

by a new medical diagnosis causing us concern, we

apply for coverage and may end up surprised when we

are subsequently denied coverage. According to the

American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance, 14

percent of applicants age 50-59, increasing up to about

70 percent of applicants age 80 and above, are declined

coverage due to poor health. The right time to apply

for coverage is when you are


Insuring One Spouse,

But Not the Other: While

it is true that women

are twice as likely as

men to need and

use LTC insurance,

only covering

the wife

creates a far greater financial risk

and emotional toll should the

husband need care. Regardless

of which spouse is not covered,

the risk of delivering care, not

just from the financial liability

it presents but also due to the

actual care-giving, will

surely impact the couple’s

quality of life. Several LTC

carriers offer shared benefit

Long-Term Care

Elizabeth Donner, CRPC

policies for couples, so there can be a total amount of

coverage for either one or both spouses to use. This

flexibility can prove to be a tremendous advantage,

and depending upon the carrier, when couples buy

coverage at the same time, they can qualify for up to a

40 percent discount compared to single pricing.

Assuming the Cost of Care Yourself: Without LTC

coverage in place, you are essentially self-insuring

against the greatest financial threat you will experience

in retirement. In NC the current average annual cost of

a home health aide is $41,000/year and Nursing Home

care is $71,000/year. Those two numbers by themselves

may not seem that overwhelming. When multiplied

by several years of care in addition to cost-of-livingadjustments

as healthcare costs rise —a five-year stay in

a nursing home, 20 years from now may net a $700,000

bill. This amount would be doubled to $1.4 million for a

couple. The truth is, the large majority of us are just not

in a financial position to self-insure against this liability,

and even the ones that are, would typically prefer to

leave assets to children, grandchildren or charities

instead of paying nursing home costs outright. We

all have competing financial priorities, but with a 70

percent chance of needing LTC services at some point,

is this the right time to roll the dice? Remember, any

coverage is better than none at all. Even a small policy

provides a degree of protection to your retirement nest

egg, that you otherwise would not have.

Donner is a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor, holds

NASD Securities Licenses 6, 63 & 65, has a BS in Nursing, is licensed

in LTC and is NAIC Partnership Certified. She can be reached at

Beth@DiversifiedPlanning.com or (919) 460-6076.

Please note that the information given here should not be construed as tax advice

and that you should consult your own tax advisor for your particular situation.


Finding comfort in routines

As the heat of summer starts to give way to

the colors and cooler temperatures of fall, I

am reminded of the impact of transitions on

our sense of well-being. Retirement, a new home

or even a new car, transitions can be a wonder or a


I have recently gone through an employment

transition. I am having to figure out new routines to

go with my new functions as well as working in a new

location. I had comfortable routines in my previous

work experience that gave me a sense of stability

and certainty to my days. However, I know that over

time I will settle into new routines.

A sense of routine

gives us a sense of

stability and certainty in

our life, which we need

to feel “safe,” not only

in the sense of being

safe from things that

go bump in the night,

but also such thoughts

as, “Can I keep food

on the table and a roof

over my head?.” When

we do not feel safe,

we tend to experience

distress, including

anxiety. People are

constantly processing,

even if unconsciously,

the information and

happenings around them

to determine how safe

their situation is.

When we do not

have our routines to

go through, we often

feel like the entire day

does not feel right. This

pervasive, negative

feeling can put us into

a state of distress. The

more significant the area

of transition (retirement

vs. new car), typically

the more heightened the

level of distress.

Those transitioning into


OutreachNCOctober 2011 37

retirement or “downsizing,” can

often be excited as well as a bit

anxious or uncertain. Prepare

for transition, including planning

on how to keep to normal

routines as much as possible

as well being actively aware

of developing new routines

which compliment their new


eSocialWorker Tip: Routine helps!

Mental Health

Mark Marquez

Marquez, of eSocialWorker LLC, can be reached at (910)


38 OutreachNCOctober 2011

OutreachNCOctober 2011

Photos by Mollie Tobias

Sally Thomas of Southern Pines, Patty Schoolcraft of Sanford (holding her granddaughter Deliah Rose) and Jill Murr of Raleigh share their

stories of courage and unique experiences with breast cancer in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Fighting the good fight against breast cancer

October usually brings to mind

fall leaves, pumpkins and shades

of gold, orange and brown.

However, one color that stands out this time each year

in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness

Month is pink. Pink ribbons as a symbol stand for moral

support and raise both awareness and funds to research

the cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure of

breast cancer. The statistics are staggering. One in eight

women in the United States will develop invasive breast

cancer over the course of her lifetime. With numbers like

these, is not unusual to have a friend or family member

be affected by the disease.

In 1992, Sally Thomas of Southern Pines went in for a

routine mammogram, and it showed an abnormality.

“The thing about breast cancer is that you just don’t

know. It is such a silent killer. In my case, it wasn’t

large enough that I would have found it. They did a

biopsy, and the only choices then were lumpectomy

or mastectomy,” explains Thomas of being faced with a

breast cancer diagnosis. “I chose a mastectomy, because

it seemed like the right thing to do.”

Thomas, a mother of three and busy local real estate

agent for nearly 30 years, was relieved to know in her

case that there was no lymph node involvement with

By Carrie Frye

Staff Writer

her cancer and that the removal of her

affected breast was indeed the best option.

“If you’re going to lose a part of your

body, it is probably the best part to lose. It was far less

invasive than it was years before then,” says Thomas.

“It certainly makes you aware of your body and to be

aware of changes.”

One coping mechanism Thomas found the most

helpful was to join a support group.

“It was very important to me at the time. We

supported each other, learned about treatments

and alternative treatments that were available and

fundraising events,” says Thomas, who attended a

monthly group for almost 14 years after her diagnosis

because even though she reached a point where she

felt she did not need to go anymore, she still went so

that she might be able to help someone else.

As a breast cancer survivor now for 19 years, Thomas,

74, is a believer in regular check-ups, mammograms and

self-exams for early detection.

“It is not anything you are going to wake up and feel

bad about. Every case is different. Screenings are so

important. The earlier you have a mammogram, the

better. You cannot rest on laurels. Nobody in my family

had ever had breast cancer,” she says.

continued page 39


Thomas does have a prosthesis, but because she

never had to undergo chemotherapy or radiation, she

never lost her hair or had to use a wig, hat, scarf or

other accessory that often go along with breast cancer.

“The best part about those things is that they are

temporary,” reminds Thomas.

Thomas, happily married to her childhood sweetheart,

is still working, enjoys her grandchildren and shares her

story with kindness, honesty and an embracing warmth.

She hopes that it might encourage other women to be

proactive with their health by having regular exams,

like the one she had that changed her path and plans,

but allowed her to still be here now.

“Breast cancer touches a lot more people than you

might think, she says. “Early detection is the key.”

For women in the U.S., breast cancer death rates are

higher than those for any other cancer, besides lung

cancer, which offers more incentive for women to have

regular check-ups.

Patty Schoolcraft of Sanford whole-heartedly agrees

with Thomas when it comes to early detection. In 1997,

Schoolcraft felt a lump in her breast while she was in

the shower. It caught her attention and led her to call

her gynecologist right away for an appointment. From

there, she was sent to a surgeon, who did a biopsy. The

lump was merely a benign fibroid cyst, but some tissue

underneath looked suspicious.

“I was just fortunate that they found the cancer under

the cyst. I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer,”

recalls Schoolcraft. “I only knew that I wanted to live to

see the day I would have grandchildren.”

Schoolcraft was referred to an oncologist. She

opted for the mastectomy of her affected breast. Her

treatments afterwards were aggressive with rounds of

chemotherapy and radiation.

“Cancer doesn’t hurt. The treatment is what gets you.

You have to try and have a good attitude. I had a good

support system, my family, a good church family and a

support group,” says Schoolcraft.

She opted for the reconstruction surgery, which uses

tissue from the abdomen.

“It really was one of the worst surgeries, and it took

six months to heal,” she remembers. “The doctor kept

reminding me that I was going to lose my hair. I had

thin hair anyway, so that wasn’t a big deal to me. In fact,

it gave me the opportunity to wear a beautiful wig that

everyone told me made me look 10 years younger.”

Unfortunately, when she had a port put in for her

chemotherapy treatments, she developed a blood clot.

continued page 40

OutreachNCOctober 2011 39

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40 OutreachNCOctober 2011

continued from page 39

Schoolcraft was rushed by ambulance to the hospital

and had to answer some questions by the paramedics

on the way.

“When they got me into a room to begin the procedure

to break up the blood clot, they started laughing. When

I asked what they were laughing about, the nurse said

the paramedic had written down that I had a vasectomy

instead of mastectomy. Everyone had a good laugh, the

procedure went well and the blood clot was dissolved,”

recounts Schoolcraft.

“Well, I got through that, and my oldest son, Brian,

decided he wanted to get married that year. I had no

hair and had to wear a wig and false eyelashes, but God

had given me a distraction from my cancer and also a

lovely daughter-in-law, Tracey,” says Schoolcraft.

The breast cancer was gone. Schoolcraft finished her

treatments and had joined a support group when she

first learned about Relay for Life. Since she was doing so

well, the group asked her to be the team captain. Family

and friends joined her efforts to form a team called the

“All-Nite Trakkers” to participate in the annual all-nighter

walk-a-thon each May.

However, at another routine check-up in 2000, she

was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia.

“The good news was that it was one of the kinds

that can be cured with a bone marrow transplant,”

Schoolcraft says. “I felt like my world was upside down

again. I had a new one-year-old granddaughter, and all

I wanted to do was live.”

Fortunately, Schoolcraft’s brother was a bone marrow

match and donor. She would have to make the trip to

Seattle, Wash. for the transplant and treatment for a

four-month stay.

“My husband hated to travel, but he loved me enough

to get on a plane and go with me to be my caregiver,”

she remembers fondly. “I thank God for my brother, who

gave me a second chance at life. The hardest part was

leaving my granddaughter for four months.”

Schoolcraft’s friends and family had many fundraisers

for the family to help with expenses. The transplant

worked, and Schoolcraft dedicated herself to her Relay

for Life team as a way to give back.

Life went on for Schoolcraft until she began having

pain in her other breast in 2005. Her surgeon found

cancer in a duct, which he removed. When it did not

heal, the diagnosis was invasive breast cancer, and she

decided to have another mastectomy, but opted for a

prosthesis the second time around.

“I remember the hardest part being when I had to

tell my youngest son Kevin that the cancer was back,

and he just broke down,” recalls Schoolcraft. “I had to

have chemo treatments again, and I lost my hair again,

but I feel very blessed to be here. I have two sons, two

daughter-in-laws, four beautiful grandchildren and a

wonderful caregiver in my husband.”

Defying all the odds, Schoolcraft, now 60, remains

positive and strong.

“If anything, cancer has enhanced my life, and that

may sound strange, but it made us closer as a family.

I know it made me closer to my boys. I am pretty

happy with my life. With all I have been through, I’m in

pretty good shape. I still get outside and play with my

grandkids. I would like to see a cure in my lifetime, so

my children and grandchildren do not have to endure

what I have,” she thoughtfully explains. “What gets you

through cancer is prayers, faith, hope and the love of

people. God will see you through anything. He gives you

trials to make you stronger.”

Schoolcraft did have genetic testing done, which

ironically came back negative. She still believes it to be

genetic since both of her parents had a form of cancer.

In fact, a woman’s risk of breast cancer approximately

doubles if she has a first-degree relative (mother, sister,

daughter), who has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

About 20 to 30 percent of women diagnosed with

breast cancer have a family history of breast cancer.

Jill Murr, 34, of Raleigh knows these statistics all too

well. Murr watched both her mother and aunt lose long

battles with breast cancer.

“Mom was sick for so long. She was never the same

person. She had “chemo brain” and could not remember

anything,” recalls Murr.

At 29, Murr opted for the genetic testing, which

showed she had the BRCA2 gene. According to the

National Cancer Institute, a woman’s risk of developing

breast and/or ovarian cancer is greatly increased if she

inherits a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation. A mastectomy and

a hysterectomy by age 40 are typical recommendations.

“Mom cried when she found out I had the gene. She

felt so guilty. I was crying at her bedside saying, ‘Thank

you for giving me this knowledge,’” remembers Murr.

“I went to Duke for regular check-ups. Then every time

the phone would ring, I had to wonder if it was the call.

I didn’t want someone to say, ‘You have cancer.’”

Taking a proactive and preventative approach, Murr

began to consider her options.

continued page 41


“I thought about having the surgery,” says Murr of

a mastectomy, but her second child was only three

months old at the time.

When Murr decided to move forward and have the

surgery, she prepared her two young sons by telling

them she would not be able to hug them for awhile


“I told them we would have to hand hug,” she says

with a smile. “They have heard the word ‘mastectomy’

since they were two and four. We always use the correct

terms. I dream of making a children’s book that talks

about preventative and genetic surgeries.”

Murr had a double mastectomy at age 32 to reduce

the 87 percent chance

that she would develop

breast cancer. She opted

for breast implants in lieu

of a prosthesis.

“Mom died two months

and one day after my

surgery,” Murr remembers.

“There is something

about a parent passing

away that makes you

realize what life is about.”

Murr finds solace in

her close-knit family, her

sons and especially her

85-year-old grandmother.

“She’s my hero. She’s lost

two of her five children.

My whole family lives

within walking distance

of each other. My uncle

made a memorial garden

with a pink ribbon in rocks

and two benches (one for

her aunt and mother),”

describes Murr. “It’s a neat

place to go and reflect.”

Perspective, a desire to

live life to its fullest and

make their stories known

in hopes of helping

others is what these three

women share.

“I try to eat healthy and

exercise. I am glad to

know that I won’t suffer

Road to Recovery

Rebuilding after breast cancer


OutreachNCOctober 2011 41

in that particular way with breast cancer, and I have my

faith,” says Murr. “I enjoy talking about the experience if

it can help somebody else.”

Schoolcraft cherishes a spur of the moment beach

trip, a drive just because it is snowing and this being

the first year her oldest granddaughter Carmen joined

her Relay for Life Team.

“I appreciate life and family and just being here,” says

Schoolcraft sincerely. “There is too much to live for.”

Thomas shares her story whenever asked to

encourage others not to take their health for granted.

“Your priorities tend to change once you have been

involved with the “C” word,” says Thomas.

Thanks to early detection and advancements in breast cancer, many more women (and some men)

will survive to their full life expectancy. Recent studies indicate a link between moderate physical

exercise and improved comfort and quality of life for survivors. With many different kinds of treatments

available, there are numerous side effects that millions are left with such as feeling weary physically

and emotionally. Pilates and specialized post-operative rehabilitation programs can be designed to help

survivors regain their physical strength and sense of well-being that has been lost through surgery and other

treatments. Side effects from surgery, chemotherapy, radiation or other treatments can be life changing, but

with a good support system and encouragement, survivors can be proactive and rebuild their lives.

Lymphedema is one of the most chronic issues that many patients have to deal with. This condition

causes a buildup of lymphatic fluid due to damage or removal of the lymph nodes which can put the affected

arm at risk of developing lymphemdema. Muscle is the key way that lymph vessels move fluid; muscle

contraction assists in transporting fluid. The best kind of movement to help move fluid more efficiently

should be gentle and gradual which is the foundation of Pilates.

Surgery and treatments can result in loss of mobility and postural imbalances that make daily tasks

painful and difficult and exercise may be the last thing you feel like doing. Stretching and strengthening

the shoulder, chest, back and abdominal muscles will allow women to regain full range of

motion to those areas affected so you may resume normal daily activities and maintain a

positive body image. Other treatments and hormone therapies can affect bone density.

It is important to maximize body strength and muscle tone as well as increase stamina.

Proper breathing patterns are another important component to activating muscle and

increase circulation to promote healing. Incorporating movements that focus on breath

and control will also aid with reducing stress and tension and help combat the common

symptom of fatigue which can discourage physical activity.

Because Pilates originated as a rehabilitation program and integrates the principles

of breath, proper alignment, stabilization and improving flexibility without stressing the

joints, it is a perfect fit for breast

cancer survivors on your road to

recovery and wellness. Whether

your surgery was recent or many

years ago, once your medical team

has recommended exercise, the

proper program will help restore

your self-esteem and empower you

to embrace life.

For more information contact:

Katherine Rice

Certified Pink Ribbon Program Exercise Specialist

Art of Motion Pilates, Aberdeen

(910) 690-6548


42 OutreachNCOctober 2011


have been trolling the Internet again and happened

across another animal story. In past columns, we

have had seasick fishes, an angry camel and a

swan used as a club. This story tops them all.

It takes place in a land far, far away

known as Belarus. Belarus is in

eastern Europe. But our tale could

be a story about an animal that

triumphs over adversity anywhere.

It’d be great for a segment of

“When Animals Attack,” but there

isn’t any video of the encounter.

Senior Moments

Barb Cohea


discount for

Military & Seniors

It could even be an endearing

story of a cute little animal that

is smarter than a human.

Our hero is a Belarusian fox,

who we will call Fredino. Fredino is out minding his own

business (as were the fish, the swan and the camel)

when he meets “the hunter.” “The hunter” remains

nameless in all the news reports I’ve seen, most likely

because he is stupid and doesn’t want anyone to know.

He is also referred to as “the man.”

“The hunter” meets Fredino, and being a hunter,

he decides to shoot him. Fox hunting in Belarus is a

popular pastime, so one can assume “the hunter” had

perhaps actually hunted before.

Anyway, a spirited chase ensues. Uphill, over dale,

through the farm fields, here and there, running willy-nilly

all over the place. At last ,“the hunter” raises his gun (no

fellas, I don’t know the make, model or caliber) and fires.

Fredino, a bit tired after all the chasing, barely misses

dodging the bullet. Fredino lies wounded. “The hunter”

cannot tell us exactly where said wound was located,

but swears one existed.

Slowly, stealthily “the hunter” sneaks up on Fredino,

sort of like Sarah Palin hunting caribou in the Arctic

only with fewer people involved. Palms sweating, heart

racing, he closes in to deliver the coup de grace. Then


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No outfoxing a fox...

he realizes ammo in Belarus can be

a bit on the expensive side. Being

resourceful, he asks himself, why

waste another bullet? Why not just

knock the stuffing out of

the fox with the butt of

the gun? He steps closer,

turning the business end

of the rifle toward himself.

I must interrupt here

to bring your attention

to the extreme willpower

exhibited by Fredino during

this seconds-seem-like-hours

episode. Fredino employed the popular play ‘possum

strategy reminiscent of Clint Eastwood in the spaghetti

westerns. Clint lies shot, and the bad guy slinks up

kicking Clint with the toe of his boot to see if Clint’s really

dead and ends up with a big surprise.

Closer gets “the hunter.” Fredino holds his breath.

“The hunter” raises the rifle butt and just as the butt

comes down, Fredino grabs for it with his little fox-paws.

According to official reports from prosecutors in Grodno,

Fredino “fiercely resisted,” and a struggle ensued. Picture

it, if you will, Fredino pulling on the butt and “the hunter”

yanking on the barrel. Apparently “the hunter” had not

been working out because he could not wrest his gun

from a fox. We’re not talking an elephant here; it’s a fox.

Heavens, my cat, Ra, is bigger than your average fox (by

the way, Ra is not fat. He is merely big-boned . . . really).

Fredino grasps the trigger and pulls it. Shoots “the

hunter” right in the leg. Personally, I think “the hunter”

was lucky. From Fredino’s angle a lot of other body

parts could have been hit. Fredino escapes, and “the

hunter” gets a trip to the hospital. While authorities say

the shooting was “accidental,” I’m not so sure.

Cohea, a freelance writer, can be reached by e-mailing



Nursing Center

915 Pee Dee Rd • Aberdeen


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Skilled Nursing

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OutreachNCOctober 2011 43

A dash of this, a pinch of that

bake up success for Paula Deen

It was only a matter of time before

Bible Belt cook and celebrity Paula

Deen wrote her own bible. A

cooking bible, that is.

“Paula Deen’s Southern Cooking Bible” hits the shelves

on October 11. “Publishers Weekly” is already calling it

an “answer to ‘The Joy of Cooking.’” That mention has

Deen as happy as a clam dipped in butter and fried.

“I hate to even mention the ‘Joy of Cooking’ in the

same sentence as my book because it was one of the

most fabulous cookbooks ever written,” Deen says. “That

thrills me that they even said that.”

Authoring a comprehensive guide to Southern

cooking has been Deen’s dream since she wrote her first

cookbook 12 years ago. Since then, she has written 14

By Melanie Coughlin

Special to OutreachNC

books and sold eight million copies.

This multi-millionaire has come a long

way from her darkest days more than

two decades ago. Down to her last $200 and battling

agoraphobia, Deen realized then the only hope was to

take her future in her own hands.

“I knew if there were going to be changes in my life, it

was going to be me who made them,” Deen says. “It was

time for Paula to take care of herself and her children.”

It was a big wake-up for a woman raised to expect to

marry and be cosseted by a husband.

“I came from a generation where, you know, you

got married, and your husband took care of you and it

wasn’t really necessary for you to have an education,”

Deen says. continued page 44


44 OutreachNCOctober 2011

continued from page 43

Instead, Deen’s marriage unraveled and her parents

died, leaving her in crippling emotional turmoil and,

eventually, on the verge of homelessness. Deen pulled

herself out of her slump for the sake of her teenage

boys, Jamie and Bobby.

“I’d lay in bed dreaming about how I could make my

mark with no education and no money,” Deen recalls.

“I dreamed up this little business, ‘The Bag Lady.’ And I

made a commitment to her that I would do everything

in my power to make her successful.”

Her vow led to a brownbag catering business that

grew into an empire of three restaurants, a popular

cooking show, a magazine and her own line of cooking


For this, her bible of Southern cooking, Deen wants

a cookbook that people will keep with them for their

entire lives.

“I wanted to write something like ‘Better Homes and

Gardens,’” Deen says of the book she received as a

newlywed. “That still sits in my kitchen. I have moved so

many times in my lifetime, but I have managed to keep

up with that book. I loved it then, and I still love it now.”

Deen thought a great deal about her fans and

their wallets when she wrote “Paula Deen’s Southern

Cooking Bible.”

“The most important thing was that it be reasonable

with today’s prices,” Deen says, referring to the economy.

“There are a few beautifully colored pictures, but we did

hand-drawn illustrations to keep the price down.”

The book includes more than 300 recipes, with all but

20 brand-new.

“Those twenty are so classic and so important to me,”

Deen says, and her affection for those foods comes

across in her voice.

That love for food is a huge part of Deen’s appeal to

fans. She takes a giddy pleasure in eating. Still, even

Deen has some foods she does not like, primarily


continued page 45

Cooking the okra separately before adding

it to this shrimp gumbo lets you enjoy

its silkiness without the sliminess. The

soup—thickened with a roux (see step 2) and

flavored with sausage, onion, bell pepper, garlic,

and Cajun seasoning—is a real traditional

Cajun recipe, full of shrimp and

perfect for serving over rice.

The Real

Deal Gumbo

Serves 4 to 6


1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 cup chopped okra, fresh or thawed frozen

3 tablespoons butter

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 large yellow onion, chopped

1 large green bell pepper, chopped

1 tablespoon chopped garlic

4 cups chicken broth

3/4 pound andouille or other smoked sausage, sliced

1 teaspoon Cajun seasoning

Salt and black pepper

1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined

4 cups cooked rice, for serving

Hot sauce, for serving



1. In a small skillet, heat the oil

over medium heat. Add the okra

and cook, stirring frequently,

until no longer slimy, about 3

minutes. Set aside.

2. In a large saucepan, melt the

butter over medium heat. Whisk

in the flour and cook, stirring

constantly, until it is a light

chocolate color, about 5 minutes

(this is the “roux”).

3. Add the onion, bell pepper, and

garlic and cook for 2 minutes. Add

the broth, sausage, and Cajun seasoning and bring to a

boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer, cover, and cook for

20 minutes. Season to taste with salt and black pepper.

4. Add the shrimp and simmer until they are pink

and cooked through. Serve over the rice. Pass hot sauce

at the table.


Because soups have a tendency to cook down as the

liquid evaporates, tasting and adjusting seasoning is

one of the most important steps in soup making. I

like to keep a spoon in a clean glass of water near

my pot so I can have frequent tastes to see how my

flavors are developing.


by Paula Deen. Published by Simon & Schuster, Inc. Reprinted by permission.

OutreachNCOctober 2011 45

“The first time I tried it, I said, ‘Sweetbread. I’m gonna love me some of this stuff.’ I didn’t know it was internal

organs,” Deen says with her usual belly laugh. “I spit it out and said, ‘This is some nasty stuff.’”

Yet life is sweet for Deen. She is happily married,

and her boys are grown and have their own cooking

show. Jamie and his wife have two sons who Deen

says are “the light of my life.” Bobby, a sought-after

bachelor, is now “single but spoken for,” according to

Deen. The boys’ secure future is Deen’s most treasured


“The thing that means the most to me is knowing

that I’ve closed the door on my children ever going

through some of the things and hardships I went

through,” Deen says. “I never want them to feel the way

I felt: so vulnerable and at everyone’s mercy.”

Her suffering and hard-won success have earned

Deen a confidence that defies any detractors.

To the recent criticism from a well-known chef who

called Deen’s cooking dangerous, Deen says, “I’ve lived

long enough that some things are not worth getting

upset over. Choose your battles, and that one was

certainly not worth any battle. When I heard it, I just

died laughing.”

Deen believes most people misunderstand

Southern cooking.

“I think people have a misconception of Southerners

that we eat fried chicken and biscuits and gravy every

day, and we don’t,” she says.

She goes on to defend Southern food, comparing it

favorably to other cooking styles.

“I’ve had the chance to travel a lot, and I’ve never

traveled any where that eats vegetables the way we

do. Sometimes in the South, we’ll have just a vegetable

plate,” she says. “I go up North, it’s pasta, it’s beef, it’s

heavy food, potatoes. Down here, there are so many

vegetables that we just relish and could live off of.

“It’s all about moderation. It’s so important that

people know their numbers and talk to their doctors.”

She giggles and adds, “Some people eat anything that

doesn’t eat them first.”

Expect lots of foods that should be eaten in

moderation in “Paula Deen’s Southern Cooking Bible.”

“I just adore the book. I’m hoping that it will be one

of those staples for kitchens,” Deen says.

Deen is signing her new book at Quail Ridge Books

in Raleigh, Friday, Oct. 14 from 6 until 8 p.m. Because

of Deen’s popularity, Quail Ridge Books has special

guidelines for fans attending the signing. Read those

at www.quailridgebooks.com and scroll down to the

section about Deen.

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46 OutreachNCOctober 2011

The Fitting Room

Good morning! Welcome to Bridal Boutique.

You ignored our discreet sign: By Appointment

Only. You are six bored women with nothing

better to do. Why me, oh lord?

I’m Julie, and I’ll be your

consultant today. Which of

you is the blushing bride?

Why are they looking at each

other, don’t they know? Oh

no, that one, I was afraid it

would be her. Clutching her

Happy Meal.

Well, this is an exciting

day, isn’t it! The day you

find the perfect dress. And

your name is…? Dayton.

I’m terrible with names.

Think of Daytona Beach,

where I wasted many a

weekend working on my

tan and am now paying

the wrinkly price.

Dayton, when’s the

big date? Better be soon,

you are showing already.

Four months along, I’d

guess. You shorter girls

poke out early.

Oh my, that doesn’t

give you much time.

Well, we better get

busy then, hadn’t

we? You have got to

be kidding. What kind

of girl walks in here

needing a dress in two


Who did you bring

along today? I just

love a cheering

section! Yeah,

right, makes my

job absolutely

impossible. I have to

Senior Shorts

Karen Pullen

Pullen writes fiction, teaches memoir

writing at Central Carolina Community

College Pittsboro campus and operates

Rosemary House Bed and Breakfast in

Pittsboro. She can be reached by e-mail

at karen@rosemary-bb.com.

please a seventeen-year-old pregnant bride, her mother,

her future mother-in-law, her sister and two girlfriends.

My eyeballs are throbbing.

Come along and we’ll get settled into a fitting room.

Can I get anyone something to drink? Please say no,

please say no. I hate drinks in the fitting room. They are

always getting spilled.

So that’s three diet Cokes, a root beer and two

Cheerwines? Be right back. While I’m gone, would

you fill in this questionnaire? You can read and write,

can’t you, Dayton?

Here you go. There are drink holders in the chairs.

Yes, it’s just like the movies. Sit back and enjoy the show.

Oh my, that’s a bright flash! No cameras please. Text

and tweet all you want. Just no pictures of Dayton in her

underwear on Facebook. If I gritted my teeth any harder,

they’d fracture.

Looking at your answers, Dayton, I see that you are a

size 8? Maybe ten years ago, before puberty hit you like

a freight train.

Our dresses run quite small, so we may have to go

up a size or two. But you’ll get a perfect fit, not to

worry. Oh, you brought pictures? Very helpful. Except

these are Vera Wang. You’re in the wrong salon, honey.

And strapless? No strapless dress was ever made that

could cantilever those double-D girls.

A long, full skirt? Shantung taffeta, beautiful choice.

You’ll look like a giant marshmallow, child.

I’m thinking an empire waist would suit you well.

Since you no longer have a real waist.

And I’ll try to stay in your price range, hmmm?

You’ve got to be kidding. Only our garters are in that

price range.

continued page 47


OutreachNCOctober 2011 47

Senior Shorts

OutreachNCOctober 2011 47

Be back in a minute. And while you wait, here are

some style books. No, I don’t have six style books, you’ll

have to share.

(Mutters to self as she searches through the dresses.

Empire waist, strapless, cheap, taffeta. Zilch. Okay, Plan B.)

Well, Dayton, I found a dozen dresses, and one is

bound to be absolutely right. Half of these are trampy,

and half are classy. Let’s see, which will you like?

Here comes the exciting part. Try this one on! Oops,

let me hold the Coke. It’s very difficult to get Coke out

of silk.

Hmmm. I think it makes you look like a manatee in a

ball gown. What do you think?

Let’s try another one. This ivory is beautiful with

your skin. I’d kill for your skin, not a pore to be seen.

Too low cut? Possibly. No one will be able to focus on

the ceremony for fear of the reveal.

Maybe one with a slightly narrower skirt? To give

you a more vertical look? Did I actually say that? Hope

she doesn’t realize that vertical is the opposite of wi-i-ii-ide.

Very nice. Oh, mom doesn’t like the pearl beading.

Mom, shut up.

What do you think of this – no beads, a sweet

neckline, A-line skirt? Ignore your sister. She’s not on

your side.

Well, it will be your very special day, and you are

worth every penny. Of course it’s too expensive.

If you want my opinion, I think a bit of sleeve would

be very flattering. If ever anyone needed straps. Wide

and sturdy.

Mom agrees? And Mumsie? Great! So let me get a

few more. I’ll be right back. I am starting to sweat.

Here we are. I just know THE DRESS is one of

these. Oh lord, there goes the root beer. Fortunately it’s

only saturating our pink plush carpet, not the pleated


Don’t worry about that. Here, I’ll just get a towel.

I’m going away now, for ten minutes, to sullenly smoke a

cigarette and wonder when and where my life took this

turn, and if it’s too late to go back there.

How’s it going? Any luck? She looks happy but no one

else does. Does that mean… YES!

Your son will think it’s too plain? We could

appliqué sequined red roses all over it, Mumsie, if that

would make you happy. Oops, I forgot, we don’t care

what you think.

I’m so glad I was able to help. Leave it for a week to

be shortened. And don’t gain more than five pounds.

Thank you, Dayton, it was a great pleasure. I

can’t believe she hugged me. Doesn’t anyone respect

boundaries any more?

Oh! I didn’t realize all of you needed dresses. Okay,

ladies, fill out these questionnaires. Remarkable how

the promise of a big commission check does wonders for

a headache.

Can I get anyone another soda?

• Tape/Film/Photo Transfers

• Photo Restorations

• Promotional

• Weddings

• Corporate Events

• Duplications

• Marketing

• And much more!





48 OutreachNCOctober 2011

Fall is upon us, and so many memories are

surfacing once again as the days become cooler

and the shadows longer. There is almost a

nostalgic feeling in the air—the anticipation of leaves

turning color, visiting fall festivals, carving pumpkins

and picking out a Halloween costume—all were part

of the fun of the season. Fall was and still is a season

full of activities and plans and good times and reminds

me of the spirit of goodness in life. I appreciate being

reminded. I like that, in the midst of living here and now,

I can stop and remember good times in the past.

In recent months, tornadoes, hurricanes and

earthquakes have shaken things up, not to mention

economic challenges, day-to-day worries and the sad

anniversaries we honor. How comforting it is, then, to

remember some good times.

I do believe, for the most part, memory is about love

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Live life of love given

and the connections we have with

one another, both good and bad.

Joining together fuels our hearts

and minds and spirits as we inhabit

this earth. The memories we have

of those times hold us together as

individuals and a people who are

given to love.

As we ponder all of this, I

cannot help but notice how,

in the midst of all that is going

on, people are eager to help one another. Despite

the weather-related events, human-made conflicts

or other happenings that belie comprehension, I see

people loving one another everywhere in whatever

ways possible.

We are working hard to live all the love we can.

As our memories show over and

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Spirituality & Aging

Rev. Pam Hudson

over again, we see how fiercely

we have loved, were loved and

love still. With that awareness and

knowledge, we know we will build

today with memories for tomorrow

that will once again remind us of

good times of the past. And our

circle of life is re-enforced as we

hold it all in our hearts.

We do recognize and fall into a

deep pattern of life that speaks

directly to who we are—a people

capable of deep and enduring love.

Love that lives in our past, in our

present, and will live forever as the

future unfolds.

As we are loved and love one

another, we are given hope for this

time now…both as we look back

and even as we fall forward.

Goodness gracious, what

wonderful memories we have,

what wonderful memories we

are making, and what wonderful

memories there will be as we live

the love we are given.

Hudson, Senior Development Officer

at The Foundation of FirstHealth in

Pinehurst, can be reached at (910) 695-

7500 or phudson@firsthealth.org.

Her Klout starts with a ‘k’

OutreachNCOctober 2011 49

Do you have clout? I mean, if you do, how

do you know how much clout you actually

have? Funny I should ask. Klout, with a

“k” to be kute, I guess, is a new whizbang rating

system that actually tells you where you stand as an

“influencer” of others.

I thought this was a bunch of hooey until I

researched my own Klout score and found out it was

49, which, coincidentally, was the exact score I made

on every Algebra II test back in the day. In other

words, not exactly a rip-roaring success.

Turns out, however, that the average Klout score

is in the high teens so 49 doesn’t entirely suck.

The score is derived by analyzing Twitter data for

how many people you reach and how much they’re

influenced by you, the “influencer.”

This sounds like a really, really dull science

fiction movie, doesn’t it? Trailer: “Tweeting his way

to a phalanx of followers, James Franco IS the


Of course, being the competitive sort, it grates

that Justin Beiber has a perfect score of 100. A

Klout score of 100 has been seriously described

by social media experts as “godlike.” Yes, when I

think God, I think Beiber. Next thing you know, pro

football players will be pointing a finger to the sky

and thanking Beiber.

President Obama has a Klout score of 85 to put

things in perspective.

Maybe if he could do a halfway decent rendition of

“Baby,” he could up his score.

There’s a lot of criticism that Klout is like middle

school all over again, a revival of a caste system of

have’s and have not’s. It is true that Virgin Airlines

offers free seats to top influencers and, depending

on your Klout score, you might get VIP treatment at

the Palms Hotel in Vegas. This is so much easier

than my usual method of getting perks in Vegas,

arriving at the check-in desk with a snow leopard on

a chain.

The thing I like about Klout is that it isn’t about

attracting Twitter followers. Any idiot (Ashton K.) can

do that. It’s about inspiring those followers to take

action. And, yes, it does worry me that a pint-sized

pop singer inspires more people to take action than

the leader of the free world.

Digging deeper

into my own Klout

rating, I learned that

a Klout score in the

40s indicates that you

are “an influencer with

a strong but niche

following.” I suppose

this means I’m like the

human embodiment of

cave-diving. Suh-weet.

Of course, none of this is useful unless you use

your Klout for good, not evil. There’s speculation that

a future app will allow you to aim your phone into a

party and see Klout scores appear over the heads of

the partygoers. If the “15” walks over and flirts with

you, will you feign illness?

Beiber help us all.

New York Times bestselling author Celia Rivenbark’s new

book, “You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl,” is available at

bookstores and online. Visit www.celiarivenbark.com.)

Distributed by MCT Information Services

Belle Weather

Celia Rivenbark


50 OutreachNCOctober 2011

In 20 years of working with seniors, I have yet to

hear the words exclaimed, “I can’t wait to move

into a nursing home!” I certainly never heard my father

state, “I sure hope I can’t walk someday and have other

people take care of me.”

Growing old is hard work. It is also fraught with

losses of independence along the way. The hardest

change can be when others start handing out their

advice on what they think you should be doing. On a

daily basis, I’m reminded that my advice and ideas are

not exactly what they had in mind.

I was recently working with a couple who is facing

the difficult decision of remaining in their home as

their health is drastically changing. All the trained

professionals (doctors, social workers, nurses,

therapists) and family members have weighed in and

suggested they move to where the care is most readily

available, in this case, an assisted living residence.

The husband leaned over, looked me square in the

face and exclaimed, “I’m going to do it My Way!”

He was adamant that they are not moving. I have to

say, I was impressed and I agreed. I do want to have

them do it “their way.”I want them to resist in every

way not giving up the fight for doing things the way

they want to do them.

Aging, Do It Your Way

For now, the situation is

stable. All possible scenarios

have been discussed and a

myriad of services explained,

should they at some point

decide to have additional

support. When the situation

changes or a crisis happens,

they know I will be there to

help in whatever way I

can. I will also listen to

their wishes.

Growing old does not

Sentimental Journey

Jennifer George

mean giving up. No matter what situation you face,

there is always the opportunity to still do things “your

way.” My belief is that, as long as you lower the risks as

much as you can, have fun. Nothing should get in the

way of you living your life.

My greatest teacher for doing things his way, in spite

of severe handicaps and good advice contradicting

his own desires, was my father. He was not one for

taking hints on how he was supposed to live out his

golden years. Despite being confined to a hospital

bed and electric wheelchair, he managed to take road

trips in a wheelchair van with his caregivers, cruise the

high seas and attend Carnival in Rio de Janero thanks

to really good airline personnel and hotel staff. With

all of the many road blocks and frustrations along the

way, he made sure to do things “his way.”

For all those facing uncertainty on the path of

aging, remember those words made famous by Frank

Sinatra, “I did it MY WAY!” The road ahead is unknown;

let your voice be heard.

I’ve lived a life that’s full -

I’ve travelled each and every highway.

And more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

“My Way” was made famous

by Frank Sinatra. Its lyrics were

written by Paul Anka.

Contact Jennifer George

to share music memories

at (910) 692-0683 or



OutreachNC • April 2010 3

OutreachNCOctober 2011 51


52 OutreachNCOctober 2011

4 OutreachNC • April 2010


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