Aging Outreach Services
VOl. 2 IssuE 10
OutreachNC • April 2010 1
Navigating all your aging needs
Debuts Cooking Bible
2 OutreachNC • April 2010
Celebrating 25 Years in Continuing Care
in Pinehurst, NC
Call Today to schedule a personalized
tour with Tiffany Abbey (910) 295-2294
It is time to join the wait list!
Managed by United Methodist Retirement Homes, Inc. with support from Life Care Services, LLC
OutreachNC • October 2011 3
Wound Healing Center Panel Physicians - Dr. Brian Parkes, Medical Director (3rd from left)
4 OutreachNC • October 2011
OutreachNC • October 2011
Aging Outreach Services
Navigating all your aging needs
PO Box 2478
676 NW Broad Street
Southern Pines, NC 28388
(910) 692-9609 Office
(910) 695-0766 Fax
PO Box 2019
101-A Brady Court
Cary, NC 27512
(919) 535-8713 Office
(919) 535-8719 Fax
OutreachNC is a publication
of Aging Outreach Services, Inc.
Marketing & Public Relations
The entire contents of OutreachNC are
copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services.
Reproduction or use, without permission,
of editorial, photographic or graphic
content in any manner is prohibited.
OutreachNC is published monthly
on the first of each month.
From the Editor
ctober brings blustery days of Bladen County at Lu Mil Vineyard, our
O much anticipated cooler weather, latest stop on our year-long N.C. wine tour,
long sleeves and unforgettable shades of where the Taylor family has succeeded in
making the vineyard a destination.
This month, we go inside the kitchen Wine can also be an accompaniment
with Southern darlin’ Paula Deen to learn to good music. We meet the Carolina
about her latest cookbook, “Paula Deen’s Philharmonic’s Maestro David Michael
Southern Cooking Bible.” Paula was kind Wolff, who chose the Sandhills over
enough to share some of her time with Carnegie Hall and brings beautiful sounds
us as she prepares for an appearance in and perfect pitch for all ages to enjoy.
Raleigh later this month. She hopes this Enjoying and cherishing every moment
cookbook will become a staple in kitchens of life is what some very special ladies
across the South and beyond for all butter practice on a daily basis. They were kind
lovers, myself included. Her story is an enough to share their experiences dealing
inspirational one that proves hard work with breast cancer in recognition of
and determination can mix up a tasty National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
batch of success.
Moore County fire victims who survive
From the kitchen to the farm, we travel fires, but lose everything, can rely on
to Mount Gilead to learn about the grassfed
Angus cows that agreed to pose with ministry for support. We recognize their
the American Red Cross and a Carthage
me at Hilltop Angus Farm. Their beef offers efforts in acknowledgement of National
added health benefits.
Fire Prevention Month this October.
Muscadine grapes, too, known for their Until next month...
healthy antioxidants, grow heartily in
Stay in Southern Pines...
AOS Hospitality House
1900's Two Bedroom Cottage
Accommodations for 6
Walking distance to downtown shops & dining
Inside this issue
Ask the Expert.......................6
Belle Weather NEW!
by Celia Rivenbark..............49
Continuum of Care..............23
Gadgets & Good Finds........9
Grey Matter Games.............32
Mental Health Minute..........37
Over My Shoulder..............10
Senior Shorts Guest Writer
Karen Pullen’s short story,
“The Fitting Room”.............46
Hilltop Angus Farm
OutreachNC • October 2011 5
Helping fire victims
Spirituality & Aging.............48
Cover Photography by Chia Chong
6 OutreachNC • October 2011
Q: My wife has some
issues with memory
loss. I play golf a
couple of times a week and
have been able to leave her
home alone. Last week, when
I got home, my wife was gone.
She had decided to take the
dog for a walk and got lost.
One of our neighbors saw
her and brought her home.
How do I keep her safe when
I cannot be at home with her?
A: Safety at home can
issues. An important
first step is talking with her
physician and identifying what might be causing her
memory loss. Having open communication with her
physician about what changes you are seeing will help
get her the appropriate diagnosis and treatment.
Memory loss or dementia can often lead to safety
issues in the home. Wandering or getting lost is certainly
a big safety risk; others include taking medications
incorrectly, eating spoiled food or non-edible items,
dehydration, misuse of appliances, general lack of
activity and increased anxiety or agitation. Dementia is
often progressive (Alzheimer’s disease), and just because
something has not happened yet, does not mean that it
will not happen the next time you leave.
Determining if your wife is safe to be left at home is
an ongoing evaluation you need to make. If your wife
is easily confused or agitated, wanders or gets lost, does
not know how to call 9-1-1, is prone to depression or
withdrawal and is not aware of her own limitations (no
longer being able to use the stove or drive a car), it is
probably time to consider having someone to stay with
her while you are out of the house. It is great that you
are staying active, and as a caregiver, you need that
outlet, but also give yourself piece of mind by having a
Ask the Expert
Amy Natt, MS
Geriatric Care Manager
Our experts will answer any aging questions
you might have. Fax your questions to (910)
695-0766 or e-mail email@example.com.
friend, family member or paid
caregiver stay home with her.
If you plan for your wife to
remain at home, here are some
other safety tips to consider:
• Post emergency numbers
by the phone – especially 9-1-1.
• Install and frequently
check all smoke alarms.
• Avoid using extension
cords or having lamp and
other electrical cords where
they are a tripping hazard. Try
tacking them to baseboards.
• Have handrails and
adequate lighting at all stairs.
• Install grab bars and use
non-slip rugs in bathrooms.
• Lock up all poisonous chemicals or cleaners.
• Walk the inside and outside perimeter of your home
and eliminate uneven surfaces.
• Put up a “no soliciting” sign.
• Have her wear an identification bracelet, and alert
neighbors to her diagnosis.
• Remove scatter rugs that might cause falls.
• Lock up all medications.
• Place non-skid strips in bath tubs and showers.
• Set water heater to 120 degrees or lower.
• Use labels to identify commonly used items.
• Put away all sharp or potentially harmful objects.
• Put away all available car keys.
• Consider an alarm system that buzzes anytime an
outside door is opened.
If you plan to keep your wife at home as her needs
increase, it might be a good idea to have an extra set
of eyes to help make suggestions. The Alzheimer’s
Association and Alzheimers North Carolina have some
great resources. Local occupational and physical
therapists often do home assessments, and geriatric
care managers can help you determine what changes
you can make to improve the safety of your home.
OutreachNC • October 2011 7
Book Review: Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok
Jean Kwok’s “Girl in Translation” was a book
I really enjoyed reading. It was a fast read
although grim in the description of Kimberly
Chang and her mother’s living conditions. They
came from Hong Kong to live in the United
States and settled in Brooklyn, N.Y. Beholden to
Mrs. Chang’s sister, Aunt Paula, who paid Mrs.
Chang’s tuberculosis bills and financed their trip to
the U.S., they are employees
of her Chinatown sweatshop.
They are paid a pittance and
overworked with much takehome
work to finish at night.
Home is a rat- and roachinfested,
with a boarded up storefront,
broken windows, makeshift
furniture and no other tenants.
Eleven-year-old Kimberly is
ridiculed by both teachers
and students for her accent.
Her clothes are sewn by her
mother and are ill-fitting and
tacky. Her mode of respect
for her teacher because she
has been carefully taught
to respect elders is to skip
school until she is found out.
She is exceedingly bright
and excels at math and
science. She studies in the
apartment at night, which is
certainly not conducive after long hours at school
Because of her brilliance, she is admitted to a
prestigious private high school. She makes new
acquaintances there, but has only one friend,
Annette, because she can never reciprocate when
invited to visit other classmates. Of course, there
is a love angle with Matt, who is also an immigrant
from Hong Kong and a worker in the sweatshop.
As Kimberly matures, she has tough decisions to
make but is always respectful to her mother and
Pinehurst Medical Clinic
8 OutreachNC • October 2011
Volunteers needed in fight against elder abuse
We have all heard about, witnessed or perhaps
dealt with the issues of abuse, neglect,
dependency and/or exploitation, but have you been
faced with the issue of elder abuse? For too many
people, this issue is more real than you will probably
ever imagine. Nationally, one in three nursing homes
have been cited for abuse, according to a 2009
Congressional report. Moreover, one in five senior
citizens will be victims of financial fraud, according
AUDIOLOGY of the SANDHILLS
of the Month
Clean or change
filters once a month
or as needed
Chatham, Lee, Harnett
and Moore Counties
Belinda Bryant, Vallie Goins,
Kate Tuomala, and Ruth Jones
PHONE (910) 692-6422
1902-K N. Sandhills Blvd., Hwy. #1 • Longleaf Medical Center • Aberdeen NC 28315
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919-774-4900 | 800-446-7752
128 Wilson Road • Sanford
to the Investor Protection Trust and the National Adult
Protective Services Association.
Wake and Durham counties’ department of social
services received 924 and 353 reports alleging abuse,
respectively in 2009, according to a Adult Protective
Services Survey that year. These statistics are alarming
to most people, but the reality is, for every incident
of abuse that is reported, five go unreported, says the
American Psychological Association. Elder abuse is
one of the most under-reported crimes committed
against older adults. Victims are often embarrassed,
ashamed and feel that they have done something to
deserve this type of treatment; therefore, elders are
afraid to say anything.
To help address this issue, two coalitions were
formed to increase awareness of elder abuse. In 2010,
the Wake County Elder Abuse Task Force (EATF) was
created to educate and inform elderly and at-risk
adults in the county about issues related to abuse. The
mission is “to identify and reduce abuse of older and
at-risk adults in our communities through collaborative
partnership, education and empowerment.” Partners
Eliminating Adult Victimization in Durham (PEAVD)
emerged in Durham County this year. PEAVD’s
mission is “to eliminate abuse of vulnerable and older
adults by bridging the gaps in communication and
collaboration within our community.”
Both task forces are composed of individuals
representing various agencies, organizations, churches,
law enforcement entities, financial institutions, colleges
and universities, but most importantly, concerned
citizens. One of the main goals is to inform the public
about elder abuse and its effect on vulnerable adults.
The groups need greater representation from citizens
and churches and are seeking volunteers to participate
in outreach events, give presentations and contribute
ideas at monthly meetings.
To learn more about the Wake County Elder Abuse
Task Force and Partners Eliminating Adult Victimization,
visit www.TriangleElderAbuse.org or contact one
of the co-chairs of Wake County, Karen Christie
at firstname.lastname@example.org or Christopher Solomon at
email@example.com. In Durham County, contact
John Margolis at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Change into clothing that adapts
Gadgets & Good Finds
It is time to put away the shorts
and get out those sweatshirts.
New gadgets make dressing easier
than ever. If you have a hard
time with buttons, you can get a
buttonhook, or you can say goodbye
to buttoned shirts and blouses
altogether. Velcro has replaced the
fastener and made fumbling
Pants have long been a trial
for those in wheelchairs. First,
as people who sit all the time know all too well, pants
are designed for standing. Specialty slacks now exist
that give a little extra room
in the seat, while getting
rid of extra material in the
lap. Yet other styles allow
you to dress your loved
one without struggling with
the legs, because pants
exist that zip or Velcro up
the side. There are even
pants that have “trapdoors”
in the back to permit easy
access for changing
Dresses, some quite
stylish, are available to
permit dressing with a
minimum of fuss. Back
snaps make them easy
to don, and this closure
style is also available in
shirts and gowns. Some
clothing is also geared to
those with limited ability to
raise their arms. For some
loved ones, jumpsuits
may be easier, so now
many manufacturers are
disguising them as twopiece
One of the greatest
inventions for wheelchair
users is the modified coat
and cape. These are made
with short sections in
the back and sides, and
a longer one in the front.
Warmth and comfort is
achieved without sacrificing
the ability to propel, and
OutreachNC • October 2011 9
the user is not sitting on a bulky coat.
Jackets can be difficult to zip, but simply attaching a
zipper pull, which is a larger ring, makes zipping a breeze.
Elastic shoelaces permit the shoes to be taken on and off
without the need to re-tie. Do not forget the traditional
aids of dressing sticks, sock aids and shoehorns, which
can all make dressing easier.
Consider these resources: Silverts Adaptive Clothing:
www.silverts.com, (800) 387-7088; Shop on the Net.com:
www.shop-onthenet.com, (877) 225-8033; and Care
Apparel: www.careapparel.com, (800) 236-6262.
Hess, a certified Assistive Technology Professional at
Health Innovations Pharmacy in Southern Pines, can be
reached at (910) 246-5155.
Hospitalists specialize in caring for patients in the hospital.
At Scotland Health Care System, our Hospitalist program
helps ensure you receive excellent care during your stay.
Gladys found Scotland Health Care System.
And her independence.
Her nickname: “Miss Independence.” But that was before pain and
discomfort in her knee caused Gladys to use a walker. After a bad fall,
Gladys discovered Scotland Health Care System. They didn’t just replace
her knee—they replaced her ability to enjoy her freedom again. And
reclaim her nickname. Gladys says Scotland saved her life. In fact, she
often returns to visit her hospitalist, Dr. Davis. And greets her with a big hug.
I , M A
B I, M A
Excellence is Our Specialty
SCOTHC 11514 AgingOutreach_5.875x2-Gladys.indd www.OutreachNC.com
9/20/11 2:25 PM
10 OutreachNC • October 2011
Smoke lingers after flames
One of the saddest sights I have seen was
a home where I had visited and had good
times destroyed by fire. I stood in what
had been the living room and looked up to see
burned beams against a perfect Carolina blue sky.
Once you have been in or near a burned
building, you will never forget the smell. The home
belonged to a good friend who lived there with her
The fire started in the attic, likely from an
electrical malfunction. Fortunately, the fire crews
were on the scene before the entire house was
engulfed. There was no one in the house, and
as the owner returned from work, she saw the
smoke, heard the sirens and then realized it was
her home that was in flames.
One can only imagine what when through her
mind - first, were the kids at home, and then, what
about her beloved cat? All of these were safe.
Fire is capricious. Many things in that house
were burned beyond recognition, yet a set of
her grandmother’s china, stored in a cabinet in
the kitchen, escaped the fire but not the water
and smoke. What might be called the bedroom
wing was relatively untouched. The door to her
daughter’s room had been closed and escaped
The fire occurred late in the evening. It took
some time for the firemen to make sure they
have gotten all the “hot spots.” By morning, most
items that were salvageable were still warm to
the touch. A beloved grand piano was damaged
but has since been repaired. A collection of
music boxes, large and small, were damaged but
could be cleaned. The kitchen area, where many
gatherings and conversations were held, still drew
us all there. We kept being surprised by things that
had not been ruined.
Because the home was
no longer secure, several
friends pitched in to take
boxes of things that could
be saved to their homes for
safekeeping. I left my boxes
in our garage and was
struck by their lingering
smell of smoke.
The family has
moved on to a rented
house and then
Over My Shoulder
another home not far away. It was not easy to
leave years of memories and memorabilia behind.
They were supported physically, mentally and
financially by caring friends. All of us knew that if
circumstances had been reversed, she would have
been the one offering and bringing help.
Several years later, on July 4 this year, I got to
watch another fire. My daughter’s pickup truck
caught on fire. She and her passenger got out
safely and were able to remove the burning
mattress from the bed of the truck. We assume
that’s where the fire started. The Pinehurst Fire
Department was there quickly and took care of the
burning vehicle. It is not a pretty sight to watch
a favorite vehicle self-destruct. We were very
grateful that there was no human damage. But the
smell! It is something you do not forget.
Friends rallied around and several donations of
money and replacements for items that had been
in the truck quickly came her way.
You never know when a fire will affect you or
someone you love. These two fires were true
accidents, but ask any fireman, and he will be
happy to tell you how to be as safe as you can.
E-mail Robson at email@example.com.
Laura Kershaw LMBT1576
With over 20 years in experience, Laura is committed
to providing the best massage in the Sandhills.
919.274.5736 | www.AbsoluteWellnessMassage.com | 106B W Main St • Aberdeen
Changes to Medicare Annual Election Period
Beginning this fall, Medicare Advantage and
Prescription Drug Plan members will see changes
in the enrollment period during which they can
choose a plan.
Annual Election Period is Oct. 15 – Dec. 7. During this
time members can:
• Enroll in a Part C Medicare Advantage Plan
• Change Part C Medicare Advantage Plans
• Enroll in a Part D Medicare Prescription Drug Plan
• Change Part D Medicare Prescription Drug Plans
• Return to Original Medicare (A and B)
Changes made during this period will be effective on
January 1, 2012.
If you are a member of a Medicare Supplement/Medigap,
you do not have the same election period guidelines. With
this product, you may make changes as your plan allows,
typically any time during the year as long as you can meet
a company’s underwriting requirements.
For those of you enrolled in a Medicare Supplement/
Medigap Plan AND have a Part D Prescription Drug Plan,
it is the time of year to re-evaluate your Prescription Drug
Plan for the upcoming calendar year. The components
of these plans change annually. Enrollees often have
medication changes during the year, which could also
prompt the evaluation of a new plan. There are currently
31 plans to choose from in North Carolina at Medicare.gov.
This web site helps you select and enroll in prescription
drug plans. It allows you to enter your specific medications
and dosages. The software will then evaluate all 31 plans
in N.C. and offer an Estimated Annual
Cost of each plan. For those of you
who have concerns about the Part
D “donut hole or gap,” it gives you
a graph to show you an estimation
of how soon you could reach it,
if at all. Considerable savings
are possible in choosing a plan
tailored to your medications.
If evaluating Medicare
OutreachNC • October 2011 11
Terri Powell Herlica
Advantage Plans, Part C, Medicare.gov will work in the
same way. Enter your prescription drug information, zip
code and county to see what plans are available in your
county. If you make a choice that you are not happy
with, Medicare now offers a 45-day Annual Disenrollment
Period from Jan. 1 to Feb. 14, 2012. During this time,
Medicare Advantage enrollees may drop their plans and
return to Original Medicare. If you are returning to Original
Medicare, you may also select a stand-alone Prescription
Drug Plan at this time.
There are also Special Enrollment Periods when you
may switch plans outside of the Annual Election Period.
If you are new to Medicare, choices during your Open
Enrollment Period will be based around the time you are
Herlica of the Professional Service Group, LLC is a
Retirement Healthcare Specialist and can be reached at
firstname.lastname@example.org or (336) 987-2372.
any item priced $25 or more
Expires Oct. 29, 2011. One coupon per visit. Must have coupon for discount to apply.
2268 NC HWY 5 • ABERDEEN
1300 BROAD AVE • ROCKINGHAM
12 OutreachNC • October 2011
Maestro hits perfect pitch in Pinehurst
Maestro and pianist David
Michael Wolff was a regular
performer at Carnegie Hall when he chose
the Sandhills over Manhattan. That choice led to the
formation of the Carolina Philharmonic, a fast-growing
orchestra performing 20 times per year in the Sandhills.
“I chose Pinehurst because I see a lot of untapped
potential,” Wolff, 36, says.
Wolff is an international musician who debuted as a
piano soloist at the age of 12. His talents have yielded
him many awards and recognitions. The “Barletta
Weekly” said he is “a musician and a virtuoso” and that
it is “as if the piano were an extension of his own body.”
After mastering the piano, Wolff launched a second
career as conductor and studied in Rome where he
met his wife Young Mee Jun, a vocalist. The couple was
living in New York City when their daughter Rachel was
born. They did not want to raise Rachel, now 5, in the
city. Pinehurst caught Wolff’s eye when he conducted
“Porgy and Bess” in Fayetteville. He conducted again a
few months later and brought Jun with him. She saw
Pinehurst and asked Wolff, “When are we moving here?”
“I already knew Pinehurst for its golf reputation, and
for a place like Pinehurst, it was really odd that it didn’t
have its own professional orchestra,” Wolff says. “I was
looking for a home base to establish a new paradigm
for arts education.”
That paradigm is the Pinehurst Performing Arts Center
(PPAC), a parent organization for the philharmonic,
a facility and a conservatory. Wolff dreams of a
conservatory that will bring the best musicians to
Pinehurst and that will help musicians master one of
their weaknesses: self-marketing.
“If you go to any major conservatories like Juilliard,
you’re trained to believe you have something of so
much value that people are just going to come to
you,” Wolff says of upper-echelon musicians. “When
it doesn’t happen, you give up. What Conservatory
International will do is allow these musicians to market
Wolff and his cadre of 100+ volunteers already have the
By Melanie Coughlin
Special to OutreachNC
Photos by Mollie Tobias
support of Village of Pinehurst on the
center and conservatory. The Village
has offered the old fire station as PPAC headquarters.
Though support for PPAC has grown quickly, Wolff
had discouraging moments over the last two years.
“Our first concert was an orchestra of 25 at Weymouth,”
Wolff says “with three people in the audience.
“Two were comp, and one was a critic from Raleigh,”
he adds with chagrin. “We should have given up.”
He did not, and today, his concerts fill Owens
Auditorium to its maximum capacity of 700.
One of PPAC’s ardent volunteers, Kathy Wilford, says
Wolff’s work is “fabulous for Pinehurst.”
“It’s like a gift from heaven (to have this here),” she
says. “I’ve had the opportunity to attend concerts all
over the world, and it’s just incredible to have it here in
our back yard.”
Wilford focuses her volunteer work on getting word
out about upcoming concerts, including The Four
Freshmen in October and a Pops series in November. For
information on upcoming concerts, call the box office at
(910) 687-4746 or visit www.carolinaphil.org.
OutreachNC • October 2011 13
W I t h A N E Igh boR hood f u l l of
u N Iqu E A N d SPEC I A l PEoPl E , you C A N ENjoy
t h E loC A l ColoR A N y t I m E you’d l I k E .
At our continuing care retirement community, you’ll meet some pretty
interesting and colorful people from diverse backgrounds with common
interests—lasting friendships just waiting to happen. And, we offer
plenty of social opportunities to get to know them. Call us to learn
about the variety of spacious living options and special incentives we offer
at (910) 692-0386 or (910) 692-0382. Visit us at www.penickvillage.org.
V I L L A G E
500 East Rhode Island Avenue | Southern Pines, NC 28387 | (866) 545-1018 toll-free
14 OutreachNC • October 2011
Raising cows the way nature intended
By Carrie Frye
In a lush green pasture of knee-high grass in
Mount Gilead, Black Angus cattle graze. It is a
picture-perfect pastoral setting that Dale and
Sharon Thompson simply call home. Their 170-acre
farm has been in their families since 1956. After doing
shift work for 28 years at a nearby aluminum plant,
Dale always farmed in his down time. When he retired,
farming became his full-time job again. Three years ago,
a meeting on grass-fed
cattle led the family
to cultivate their
“we grow grass,
and the cows do
the rest” is their
I want to be
Dale, 57, who
attributes the idea
of selling grass-fed beef to his son
Justin and shares the farm duties
with both sons, Justin and Cory,
making it truly a family endeavor.
Thirty-five acres are divided into
12 sections where the cattle can
graze and rotate through.
“All the grass is sodded in. We do
have some weeds. I prefer not to spray
any chemicals unless I absolutely
have to,” says Dale, driving his John
Deere Gator vehicle through the field
calling out, “C’mon girls, C’mon babies,” leading them
to a new section of grass to graze upon, “Everything is
Angus, except for one red cow,” he adds of the 95 cows
currently on the farm.
One cow can eat approximately 100 pounds of grass
every day, and all the cows are raised naturally without
growth hormones or antibiotics. Grass-fed cattle provide
meat that is leaner, lower in saturated fat and calories,
higher in omega-3 fatty acids and is said to have better
flavor and taste according to customers. Studies have
linked those eating diets rich in omega-3 as less likely
to be afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease, depression and
All of the Hilltop Angus meats are processed at Mays
Meat in Taylorsville, where they cut, vacuum-seal and
flash-freeze the product, so it is ready for customers.
All of the meats are USDA-inspected and both the farm
and processor are
1 , 0 0 0 - p o u n d
a p p r o x i m a t e l y
330 pounds of
Photos by Mollie Tobias
Sharon and Dale Thompson
offer their Black Angus
grass-fed beef as a
healthier alternative to
OutreachNC • October 2011 15
Cooking Classes | Gourmet Foods
Olive Oils & Balsamic Vinegars
Dale and Sharon make their
Angus beef available to customers
via orders through their web site,
w w w. h i l l topangusgrassfe d. com,
the Moore County Farmers Market
in Southern Pines and Pinehurst as
well as to customers in Wilmington.
Sometimes, orders come in quicker
than they anticipate.
“The limiting factor for us is steaks. I
like to always have something extra for
the customers,” Dale says.
“But that’s what makes us a small
family farm,” adds Sharon, 51.
Sharon, who still works full-time as
a teaching assistant, handles all the
paperwork and web site for the farm.
“It is amazing what the Internet does
for the farm in this century. Farming is
nothing like it was in my grandmother’s
day,” she says.
Sharon also tends to 15 Barred
Plymouth Rocks chickens that lay one
Photos by Mollie Tobias
egg a day.
“We cannot keep enough eggs at the
market,” adds Sharon as she collects the
fresh eggs. “I’m just a farm girl. Both of
us grew up on a farm. It is a simple life,
and we are blessed to do what we do.”
In addition to the cattle, Hilltop also
has commercial hogs and pasture
chickens on the farm, which enables
them to offer that something extra to
their beef customers in the form of
fresh pork and whole chickens.
Although the animals on the farm are
raised for consumption, Dales tends to
them all with caring hands.
“I do get attached. I know where my
animals are going. I also know that
they live a good life here on the farm,
and that they were put here to nourish
us. I do everything I can to make them
healthy and wholesome,” Dale explains.
“The most gratifying part is having
people say they appreciate what you
do. I had never been told that before. It
is the friends you make and the warm
welcome we always get at the farmers
market that make it all worthwhile.”
The little black dress
for your kitchen.
Village of Pinehurst
105 Cherokee Road
Join us for
8am to 5pm
21 Chinquapin Rd
Village of Pinehurst
16 OutreachNC • October 2011
Warm up with fresh chili
remember the first time I touched a cow. I was
maybe four or five years old, and my dad had
traded woodwork for a calf. He brought the calf
home and put it in an open dog lot we had. I still recall
wondering if that calf would try to sleep in the dog
house. Eventually we found a pasture to raise the calf
and fed and cared for him until it was time to butcher
him. I had grown somewhat fond of the calf and did not
fully understand why this process had to occur, but I do
remember that the beef tasted fresh and that the pot
roast my mother made was delicious.
Many restaurants today are featuring local products. I
prefer producers that practice hormone- and antibioticfree
farming. We have several farmers in our area that
are doing just that. I also look for grass-fed animals,
as this is a more natural source of food. Feeding them
grains is typically done to make them bigger and to
produce more meat.
I was able to visit Hilltop Angus Farm recently in
nearby Mount Gilead. Dale Thompson (pictured above)
is doing things the right way by letting Hilltop’s cattle
eat only grass and by not using hormones or antibiotics.
They also raise pigs and chickens along with the cattle.
They have humane practices and take pride in their care
of the animals and products they produce.
I have used Hilltop’s ground pork to make my own
sausage and will soon be able to get ox tails. This month,
I am making a dish of fall chili that uses Hilltop’s ground
pork and beef stew cuts (you can substitute in your
favorite meat). This is a great dish to make on a brisk
fall Saturday morning. Go to your local farmers market
and get all the ingredients you need to make this chili.
If you want to buy directly from the farm, visit www.
hilltopgrassfed.com, call (910) 439-5261 or meet them
at the Moore County Farmers Market, and they will have
your order ready when you arrive.
1 lb. Hilltop Angus Farm Stew Beef
1 lb. Hilltop Angus Farm Ground Pork
2 Red Peppers Diced
1 Green Pepper Diced
1 Sweet Onion Diced
2 Stalks Celery Diced
1 Clove Garlic Minced
6 Jalapeño Peppers Diced
2 16 0z. Can Plum Tomatoes Crushed
1 Cup Water
½ Cup of Flour
¼ Cup of Chili Powder
¼ Cup of Paprika
2 Tbl. Spoons Cumin
2 Tbl. Spoons Salt
2 Tbl. Brown Sugar
2 Tbl. Spoons Pepper
Pinch of Cinnamon
¼ Cup Olive Oil
Lightly oil a large soup pot. Coat the beef with flour,
and brown it in your oiled soup pot. Put the beef aside,
and cook pork until brown. Add the beef and all diced
veggies to your pot and cook until veggies soften a bit.
Add tomatoes, water and all spices, then let cook for
an 90 minutes, and serve with all the chili topping you
like. This is great for game day or to freeze in individual
Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering
in Southern Pines, can be reached at (910) 695-3663.
Procedure brings relief to lumbar spinal stenosis
Retired nurse Anita Abatemarco found herself
putting some of her old professional skills
into use during her husband’s final illness last
summer. But turning and lifting her beloved Rocco took
a toll on her lower back, and it was not long before
the tiny 79-year-old was holding onto furniture to get
around her Pinehurst home – especially in the morning
when the pain was more severe. Nothing, not even
three epidural injections, seemed to help.
“I had no relief from the pain,” Abatemarco says.
A new treatment option provided by a pain specialist
at FirstHealth’s Back & Neck Pain Center offers the
chance for relief for people like Abatemarco who
suffer from lumbar spinal
stenosis (LSS). The
MILD (Minimally Invasive
procedure relieves the
pain by removing a
primary source of LSS
pain, which is caused by
narrowing in the spinal
canal due to the growth of
bone or tissue.
LSS is a common
condition with more
than 1.2 million patients
diagnosed each year. As
the space in the spinal
canal shrinks, increasing
pressure is placed on the
nerves that go through it
to the legs, causing pain,
numbness or weakness in
the lower back, buttocks,
legs and feet.
Paul Kuzma, M.D., of
Associates, is one of
only a handful of North
Carolina physicians who
have been trained in the
MILD procedure, which
has been proven safe and
effective in several clinical
Patients most likely to
benefit from the treatment
are usually in their 60s,
70s and 80s, and most
have tried a variety of
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OutreachNC • October 2011 17
other therapies without success.
Abatemarco, who was one of Dr. Kuzma’s first MILD
patients, had been dealing with severe pain that began
in her pelvis and radiated down her right leg and into
her ankle. She was immediately interested when Dr.
Kuzma first mentioned the procedure to her and is very
pleased with the results.
“When you have that pain, you don’t want it to ever
come back,” she says. “I’m grateful for this procedure.
I really am.”
For more information on the MILD procedure for lumbar
spinal stenosis or the FirstHealth Back & Neck Pain
Center, call (910) 715-1478 or (800) 213-3284.
Tuesday, October 18 Wed - Thurs, October 19-20
Seminars by Dr. Will Jones, Widex Audiologist 9 am - 6 pm by appointment
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18 OutreachNC • October 2011
do not think anyone would disagree that there is
risk in investing, but Wall Street is not Las Vegas. We
take on systematic risk in order to grow our money.
My job is to help clients manage and plan for risk… kind
of like making lemonade out of potential lemons.
The first step to your lemonade recipe: determine
your taste preferences. We can call it your “sleep
number” or more formally, your “risk tolerance.” It’s
your tolerance for fluctuations in order to reap the
rewards because there is a correlation; higher risk can
mean higher reward.
Risk Tolerance Exercise: You should start with a
realistic investment amount for you, I’ll use $100,000,
but you can pick any number, just use something
realistic, so this exercise is personal.
First, let’s see the upside: close your eyes and imagine
your money goes up by 20 percent. Go on, close your
eyes. My example would be $120,000. Most people
would have a good feeling, so we’ll move on.
Now let’s try the downside. Imagine your original
investment goes down by 20 percent to $80,000. How
does that feel? Take a second and consider what you
would do. Do you sell it now so you don’t lose anymore?
Or do you hold on to it?
There are two reasons to sell:
you need the money or the
fundamentals of your investment
strategy have changed. If you
chose to sell because of a 20
percent drop, try the exercise
again with 10 percent, then
5 percent. Where are you
comfortable enough that you can reap the long-term
rewards of investing without falling victim to the shortterm
ups and downs?
Now if only someone would calculate real investment
numbers for you… wait, they have! Analysts have already
calculated this “variance” number for most investments
based on their historical performance and it can be
found in two forms: beta and standard deviation. Of
course, historical performance is no guarantee of future
results, but it can help you better evaluate your options.
Beta is standardized and makes comparisons easier,
so we’ll use it. A beta of one means the investment
fluctuates right along with normal market fluctuations.
Higher betas indicate higher volatility. For example, if
Stock A has a beta of 1.5, when the stock market goes
up 10 percent, Stock A can be expected to go up about
15 percent. This works the opposite way as well: if the
market drops 10 percent, Stock A should go down by
If the exercise above helped you decide that you prefer
less bumpy roads, you should look for investments with
a beta of less than 1. For example, if Stock B has a Beta
of 0.5, it will fluctuate up and down about half as much
as the market.
As always, diversification is important regardless of
your risk tolerance, so use multiple investments and
consider the beta of your portfolio as well as each
investment. Next month, we’ll talk more about less
obvious risks. Until then, you’re always welcome to
contact me with questions because a smart investor is a
Clement is a financial planner with Clement Capital
Group. She offers securities and advisory services as
an investment adviser representative of Commonwealth
Financial Network(R), a member firm of FINRA/SIPC a
Registered Investment Advisor. She can be reached at
(910) 693-0032 or email@example.com
Music reminds me
OutreachNC • October 2011 19
It is funny what memories stick with me over the
years. I remember my mom quietly singing “Tie
A Yellow Ribbon (‘Round The Ole Oak Tree)” by
Tony Orlando and Dawn one night while riding in our
yellow ’73 VW Bug. She was a shy performer even in
her compact car.
I recently began wondering where the merging of
ribbons, all colors, and symbolism began in American
history. In 1979, Penney Laingen, wife of a hostage
who had been taken in Iran, was inspired by the song,
“Tie A Yellow Ribbon (‘Round The Ole Oak Tree).”
Tying yellow ribbons on trees signaled her desire to
see her husband home again. News reports began
following Laingen, and yellow ribbons sprouted up
across the country in solidarity. This was the beginning
of ribbons having special meaning.
In 1991, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer
Foundation gave out pink ribbons to every participant
in its New York City race. Wearing pink, especially
during October’s National Breast Cancer Awareness
Month, promotes awareness and shows moral support
for better treatment, previvors, survivors, those who
lost their lives to breast cancer and the hope to find
a cure. In 2005, at a Rex Cancer Center Event in
Raleigh, I wore a pink ribbon as a supporter of breast
cancer patients, one of whom was my mother. Yet
again, a song is automatically conjured in my head.
“Lean On Me” by Bill Withers gave the audience a
super charge that day. “Lean on me, when you’re not
strong, and I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on,”
inspired not only me but also a huge crowd of women
and their supporters that day.
Music is a powerful trigger for recollections. Brain
scans have revealed the medial pre-frontal cortex that
sits just behind the forehead allows us to go down
musical memory lane. It provides a soundtrack for a
mental movie to begin playing in our brains. Music
envokes more powerful autobiographical memories.
This could even possibly explain why some Alzheimer’s
patients may still recall songs from their distant past.
One recent song that floods my memories is “Waitin’
On A Woman” by Brad Paisley. This is the last song
my mom and I shared before she was unable to share
music with me anymore. “And I don’t guess we’ve been
anywhere, she hasn’t made us late I swear, sometimes
she does it just ‘cause she can do it,” brings a huge
smile to my face with a quick flutter of missing my
mom. She made us late everywhere we went. This
song was played at her memorial service. During my
speech, I explained how she was holding on at the
end of her life because she was
Music means a great deal to me.
Think about what songs mean a
lot to you and what memories they
bring to mind. Cherish and share
your memories with the ones
you love through song, too.
Murr, Community Educator
at Preferred Living Solutions,
a care management team, can be
reached by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or
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20 OutreachNC • October 2011
What causes back pain?
The back is a complicated structure of
vertebrae separated by discs, held together
by ligaments and muscles. It must be flexible
enough to provide a wide range
of movements and yet strong
enough to protect the spinal cord
and the delicate nerve fibers which
exit between each vertebrae. The
spine functions as a whole, so if
we have mechanical disturbances
in one part of the spine, even as
Michael L. Hall, D.C.
far away from the lower back
as the neck, it can influence
conditions in another area
of the spine. Imbalances in
the pelvis, problems in the sacroiliac joints, facet
fixations, as well as joint restrictions in the mid-back
and the neck, can contribute to the process of disc
degeneration, weakening the joint and making it
susceptible to injury. Back pain can be caused by any
combination of sprained ligaments, strained muscles,
ruptured disks, and irritated joints, any or all of which
can lead to pain. A “slipped disc” most often occurs
when a number of these and other factors act together
resulting in injury.
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be normal in
injured in a
or sports injury.
Just as often,
h o w e v e r ,
compound as the years
go by so that eventually the simplest of movements
(for example, bending over to pick up your shoes from
the floor) can have painful results. In addition, arthritis,
poor posture, lack of exercise, weight gain, and even
psychological stress can cause or complicate back
pain. Most back pain is mechanical in nature. Less
frequently, back pain can also directly result from
medical pathology such as kidney stones, infections,
blood clots, bone loss (osteoporosis) and others. A
complete history and a thorough examination can rule
in or rule out a wide range of possibilities.
A pinched nerve occurs when too much pressure
is applied for too long to a nerve by surrounding
tissues—such as by bones, cartilage, muscles, tendons,
ligaments, spinal discs or (rarely) tumor. Everyone has
at one time or another applied too much pressure to
the “funny bone” in their elbow, which is actually the
ulnar nerve. This physical pressure disrupts the nerve’s
function, causing pain, tingling, numbness or weakness.
Too much pressure applied for too long to a nerve along
the spine results in much the same sensations.
Of the seven broad categories resulting in nerve
dysfunction, only one, direct physical pressure, is
properly referred to as a pinched nerve. The most
common reasons for the direct physical pressure are a
result of the changes occurring with degenerative disc
disease (DDD) and/or degenerative joint disease (DJD).
Nerve pain resulting from direct physical pressure is
called an entrapment neuropathy because the nerve is
trapped or pinched by some structure. This term helps
to distinguish them from neuropathies resulting from
infection or disease.
Hall, D.C. of Triangle Disc Care in Raleigh can be
reached at (919) 571-2515 or DrMLHall@nc.rr.com.
Courses introduce tablet computers to users
OutreachNC • October 2011 21
Tablet computers are everywhere and come in a variety of brands and user interfaces. According to a New York
Times article published in March, the Apple iPad is by far, the most popular to date. Useful “apps” or software
are available for
Creative Retirement this device, and
Lori Venable Williams many of them are
free to download.
Laura Todd, coordinator of computer training in
the Division of Continuing Education at Sandhills
Community College, has been teaching courses to
introduce our community to this popular technological
trend. “What’s an iPad?” and “iPad 101” are two current
offerings in Continuing Education at Sandhills.
“While the iPad is classified as a smart device, it is very
different from the average desktop computer to which
most people were introduced. The objective of the
courses is to familiarize participants with the interface
and, as other brands increase in popularity, we will work
to meet those needs as well,” says Todd.
Controlling 85 percent of the tablet market, Apple’s
introduction of the second generation iPad in a thinner,
faster and lighter version of the first generation iPad
made the Apple version even more competitive with
rising models like Samsung and Motorola, according to
the New York Times article.
Because of the
diverse apps available
to consumers, the iPad
has become a popular
device for those 65 and
older. For instance, apps
like Bingo, the Weather
Channel, NPR, Scrabble,
iBooks and Pandora
make this device
attractive to this age group. Additionally, Facetime,
an exclusive Apple app, provides an opportunity for
face-to-face communication with friends, children and
grandchildren streaming over the Internet.
There are multiple accessories for the iPad making
it even more attractive to consumers. Bluetooth
keyboards enhance the portability of the device adding
to its allure.
“We anticipate that many work environments will
supply employees with tablet computers providing
workers with mobility, increasing the need for our
classes on an occupational level in the near future,”
View the computer training offerings and the fall
semester schedule at www.sandhills.edu/coned.
22 OutreachNC OutreachNC • October 2011 • October 2011
My office at the
Southern Pines Police
to get an unusual number of
telephone calls and inquiries
that most people would
not consider a matter for
the police. However,
being a 24- hour/seven
day a week branch of
government, we are
always available and
phone call came
into my office
recently as a
an American flag
honoring the fallen heroes
of 9/11. It seems this citizen
had just purchased an American flag
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Flagging a tax inquiry
in North Carolina and paid
sales tax on this purchase.
He relayed that while living
in Vermont during the 9/11
terrorist attacks, he purchased
many American flags,
none of which were
subject to sales tax.
The caller was adamant
that American flags
were exempt from sales tax and that the business
establishment from which he made this purchase was
engaging in what the caller described as a “federal
Since there is generally no “Federal Sales Tax,” this
is an issue pertaining to state law and state sales tax.
That debunks the theory that charging sales tax on an
American flag is a federal crime, but it certainly piqued
my curiosity about state and local taxes levied against
the purchase of Old Glory. I suspected that since the
caller was comparing his purchase in Vermont in 2001
to his purchase in North Carolina in 2011, there had
either been a change in the law over the past ten years
or that tax laws varied by state.
After some research, I discovered it to be the latter. The
following states do not charge sales tax on the American
flag: Connecticut, Florida, Massachusetts, New York,
New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Wisconsin.
In the states of California, Virginia, and Vermont taxexemption
status applies, if you are veteran group or
government agency, depending on certain varying
conditions. Of course, there are always the five U.S.
states, Alaska, Delaware, Montana, New Hampshire and
Oregon, with no sales tax on most retail purchases.
The bad news for my inquiring caller is that since
he purchased his flag in North Carolina, sales tax
applies. The good news is that American pride is still
alive and well with citizens still proud to fly the red,
white and blue.
Even though it was interesting for me to research
this inquiry, I would recommend that for tax advice
you consult a professional who would be able to better
guide you in the complex maze of tax laws.
For more information, contact the Community Services
Serving you from
Unit of the Southern Pines Police Department by calling
Holly Springs, NC
(910) 692-2732 extension 2852.
Communities offer wide range of care
Senior retirement communities offer a wide
variety of lifestyle options. The choices can
be overwhelming if you wait until a crisis
instead of planning ahead. For example, did you
realize that some retirement communities require
a large upfront buy-in fee, where others offer a low
entrance fee and a monthly rental agreement? Now
is the time to visit and explore which option best
suits your current health and financial needs and
what additional assistance or health care you might
need down the road.
Some retirement communities are only for seniors
who are completely independent and active. These
INDEPENDENT SENIOR LIVING communities may
offer services and amenities such as dining, activities
and housekeeping. Other retirement or senior living
communities offer private apartments, but also have
ASSISTED LIVING services, which typically include
services such as medication reminders, dressing and
bathing assistance, etc. FULL-SERVICE RETIREMENT
COMMUNITIES, sometimes called continuing care
retirement communities (or CCRCs) offer independent
living, assisted living, and health care or skilled nursing
home care. In a CCRC, you do not have to relocate
to another community if your
health declines temporarily
or permanently, but you
will more than likely have
to change apartments. Some
communities also provide
services that specialize
in ALZHEIMER’S AND
Ask if the community
OutreachNC • October 2011 23
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With the fi nancial markets more volatile than at any time since 2008, it may be more
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way to find out if the community is the right fit for
Call and visit the communities in your area to
see what is available and where you or your family
member will feel most comfortable. Most people wait
until a crisis and then have no choice. Act now, and
plan for your future lifestyle needs.
Ragsdale, marketing director at Fox Hollow Senior Living,
can be reached at Eragsdale@5sqc.com or (910) 695-0011.
24 OutreachNC • October 2011
Fayetteville resident Harold Matthews was
listening to the radio when he heard about a
clinical trial for people who were having trouble
walking after a stroke. He went immediately to the
phone, called up the radio station to get the information
and then contacted FirstHealth of the Carolinas’ Center
for Outpatient Rehabilitation.
Within a few weeks, he was enrolled in a Pinehurstheadquartered
study that compares traditional foot
drop therapy to 21st century electronic technology.
Because the trial is randomized, Matthews, a utility
company worker who was disabled by his stroke,
received a traditional plastic brace and not the
electronic WalkAide device being tested. His incentive
for completing the yearlong trial was the promise of his
own WalkAide – at no cost.
He got it this summer.
“I think it’s helping,” Matthews says. “My wife thinks it
is, too. I just got it a few weeks ago. I’ve still got some
getting used to it.”
Foot drop is caused by weakness on one side of the
body (hemiparesis) that keeps the affected individual
from picking up the stroke-impaired foot when walking.
FirstHealth’s Center for Outpatient Rehabilitation,
located on Aviemore Drive in Pinehurst, is one of only
30 test sites for the national INSTRIDE study.
Bruce Solomon, D.O., with Pinehurst Neurology, is
principal investigator for the local study. Since the
patient goal is 75, enrollment is continuing. Because the
Pinehurst location was the first trial site in the Southeast,
it has attracted patients from throughout the region.
“We have a lady who drives from Florida,” says
Ginny Barbour, a physical therapist involved with the
Thirty patients have enrolled in the FirstHealth trial
so far, and six, including Matthews, have completed the
study and gotten their personal WalkAide. Four have
had the device since they started the program.
Because of weakness in the impaired leg, patients
with foot drop can’t pick up their foot to clear their
toes for walking. “They often trip over their toes, and
they may fall,” says Jill Botnick, director of FirstHealth
Unlike the traditional brace (ankle foot orthosis or
AFO) that keeps the foot from catching the ground, the
Therapy program provides site for foot drop study
WalkAide issues an electric impulse to stimulate the
nerve in the foot after a sensor recognizes the leg tilt
indicating the beginning of a step.
Since it is worn just below the knee, the pager-sized
stimulator can be worn with a variety of shoe styles.
To be eligible for the WalkAide trial, a patient
must have had the stroke at least 90 days before
beginning the study and completed physical therapy
at least 30 days previously. This ensures that any
improvement in gait is caused by the device and not
medical intervention or physical therapy. Prospective
participants must also be Medicare-eligible, although
not necessarily 65 years of age if medically disabled.
Since enrollment includes a screening that indicates
how well the patient walks, each study site is required
to have a mapping system to record walking speed
and step length. A $30,600 grant from the Moore
Regional Hospital Foundation provided the funding
for the GAITRite system used in the FirstHealth
If you have had
a stroke and are
e x p e r i e n c i n g
d i f f i c u l t y
toll-free to learn
more about the
received a WalkAide
device to assist with
foot drop at no cost
after participating in
a clinical trial offered
at the FirstHealth
Center for Outpatient
New physician specializes
in internal medicine
Scotland Health Care System’s newest physician
comes to Laurinburg following completion of
a four-year residency program at Harvard
University that allows her to
specialize in both internal medicine
Dr. Ashley Lamb joins Harris
Family Practice in providing health
care to patients of all ages. She
earned her undergraduate degree
from Yale University in Biomedical
“I love the science of biomedical
engineering, but felt I was too far
removed from the people I wanted
to help,” she says. “For a while I was
an EMT and worked at an all-boys’
summer camp. I loved taking care
of the kids and other counselors
so I decided medical school was
the right place for me. Taking care of others is my great
passion in life.”
Before entering medical school, Dr. Lamb spent a year
in AmeriCorpsNCCC, serving in four states and one U.S.
territory. During that year, she helped build houses, tutor
children, and offered disaster relief.
While earning her medical degree from the University
of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Dr. Lamb also earned
a Master’s in Public Health. She then moved to
Massachusetts for a four-year residency training program
at the Harvard-associated Massachusetts General
Hospital Internal Medicine and Pediatrics Residency
Program, where she served as Chief Resident in her
According to Dr. Lamb, “During residency, I alternated
taking care of adults and children every three months. I
am excited to get to take care of both every day now at
Harris Family Practice.”
Taking care of patients through the whole lifespan is
Dr. Lamb’s goal.
“During my residency I loved caring for entire families,”
she says. “I love taking care of both adults and children
and getting to know the family unit.”
You can meet Dr. Lamb at an open house at Harris
Family Practice, Tuesday, Oct. 18, from 5 to 7 p.m.
Appointments can be scheduled with Dr. Lamb by calling
the practice at (910) 276-6767.
OutreachNC • October 2011 25
women have a life”
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26 OutreachNC • October 2011
OutreachNC • October 2011
Photo by Mollie Tobias
Jana Snowball, left, Buddy Spong and Meg Finnin of the Moore County Chapter of the American Red Cross in downtown Southern Pines
display care bags of personal and household itemsgiven to fire victims regrouping from their loss.
Thanks to the legend of Mrs.
O’Leary’s cow, who kicked over a
lantern and started a fire, which
became known as the Great Chicago Fire in October
1871, every year at this time, we pay special attention
to fires and the damage they do.
Fires are the single most common disaster across the
nation. Last year, the American Red Cross responded
to 74,000 disasters in the United States, 93 percent of
which were fire-related. In Moore County, there is a
special group of people who respond after a fire has
caused damage. They make up the Fire Recovery
Ministry of the New Covenant Fellowship Church in
The Red Cross calls on the Fire Recovery Ministry
when help beyond what the Red Cross can provide is
needed. Tim Irby heads up the team that supplements
the help from the Red Cross. Jana Snowball of the
Red Cross says that Tim and his team are “wonderful
… they help in so many ways.” Meg Finnin, also of the
Red Cross, says she “can’t praise them enough.”
There is a very clear understanding between 9-1-1,
the Red Cross and the Fire Recovery Mission. After a
9-1-1 fire call is received, the Red Cross is contacted.
Following their assessment of the situation, they contact
Irby and his team. The Fire Recovery Ministry provides
additional assistance that may not be available from
the Red Cross and often continues to help a family
impacted by as fire.
The Red Cross is the first responder and provides
a victims’ needs assessment. They provide $130 for
clothing for each person, three nights in a hotel and a
food allowance of $115 for a family of four, a;; of which
is made possible through a grant received from the
By Ann Robson
Special to OutreachNC
Moore County Community Foundation.
The Fire Recovery Ministry prepares
a “Recovery Box” for two adults and two
If the family size varies, so too will the
material in the box. In that recovery box, they
place toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, disposable
razors, shaving cream, hairbrushes, combs, shampoo
and conditioner, q-tips, a first-aid kit, two sets of gloves
(latex and work), dust masks and flashlights. A manila
envelope containing gift certificates for Wednesday
night dinner at the church, spiral note pads with pen,
post-it note pads, bible, county resource guides with
public assistance phone numbers, local phone book,
devotional materials, deck of playing cards and a
Hallmark greeting card.
Another tote, a locking 30-gallon tub, holds towels,
washcloths, fleece blankets, pillows and pillowcases,
clothing (the one-size-fits-most such as sweat suits,
slip on shoes, etc. for children and adults). Optional
items available include a pre-paid cell phone card,
additional hotel night, fast food gift certificate, Wal-Mart
gift card, and Angel food box. Standby items include a
roll of plastic, pet carriers, tarps, small kennel fence,
pet food, clean-up kit and abuilding materials fund. A
work crew will do repairs, if needed. The Red Cross
has a small budget for labor and materials.
The Sandhills/Moore Coalition for Human Care helps
as well with food, clothing and paperwork.
“We do what we can, “says Pastor Lee McKinney of
the New Covenant Fellowship Church.
Those wishing to help the Fire Recovery Ministry
can send donations to the Fire Recovery Ministry, New
Covenant Fellowship, 1305 Hulsey Rd.,Carthage, NC
28327. They are a 501(c)3 group.
OutreachNC • October 2011 27
28 OutreachNC • October 2011
Diabetes mellitus is a major health problem in
the United States. Diabetes leads to damage
to the small blood vessels throughout the
body, primarily involving the eyes, kidneys, peripheral
nerves and heart. According to the American Diabetes
Association, it is estimated that 20 million Americans
suffer from diabetes.
It is paramount that a complete eye examination
is performed at the time of diagnosis in adult-onset
diabetics and within five years of diagnosis in juvenile
diabetics to screen for retinopathy, damage to the
sensitive nerve tissue in the back of the eye. According
to the National Eye Institute, diabetic retinopathy is the
most common diabetic eye disease and a leading cause
of blindness in American adults, existing in various
forms including retinal swelling, bleeding, or formation
of abnormal new blood vessels which may rupture and
fill the eye with blood.
Diabetic eye disease
encompasses a wide
range of problems
that can affect the
mellitus may cause a
blurring of the vision,
or it can cause a
loss of vision.
increases the risk for
and glaucoma. Some
people may not even
realize they have had
for several years
until they begin to
with their eyes or
Diabetic eye disease refers to a group of eye problems
that people with diabetes may face as a complication
of this disease. Severe diabetic eye disease most
commonly develops in people who have had diabetes
mellitus for many years and who have had little or
poor control of their blood sugars over that period of
Diabetes and your vision
time. Diabetes mellitus may
also result in heart disease,
stroke, kidney failure and
circulatory abnormalities of
Medical treatment of
diabetic eye disease is
at the underlying
problem (the diabetes
itself ). The better
control a patient has
of the disease, the fewer problems they will have in the
Another common eye disease associated with
diabetes is cataracts. People with diabetes are more
at risk to develop cataracts at a younger age, but this
can usually be treated
Glaucoma is another
common eye disease
is a disease of the
optic nerve and can
go undetected until
the entire nerve
is destroyed and
be treated with
surgery or other forms
their eye care
professionals to help
prevent or limit the severity of ocular damage and
vision loss in the years ahead.
Diabetic retinopathy treatment with laser surgery, proper follow-up and
care may reduce the risk of blindness, although laser surgery cannot restore
vision that is already lost. Treatment with injections of corticosteroids
or newer anti-vascular-proliferative medications in or around the eye is
extremely effective if initiated early.
Miles W. Whitaker, M.D.
Dr. Whitaker, board-certified ophthalmologist with Cape Fear
Eye with offices in Fayetteville and Sanford, can be reached at
(800) 829-2284 or www.capefeareye.com.
Nominate volunteers for Governor’s award
The county-wide search has begun,
and we are looking for the cream
of the crop, the best Moore County
volunteers to receive the 2012 Governor’s Award for
This year marks the 34th anniversary of this volunteer
recognition award, open to all ages and in diverse areas of
volunteer service, that showcases Moore County’s most
dedicated volunteers. By nominating a local volunteer,
you are not only recognizing their efforts but are casting
a vote for them to be one of six Moore County recipients
honored for their outstanding service.
Now is the time we say thank you and recognize our
Moore County volunteers for their faithful service.
Who is eligible to be nominated? Your neighbors,
classmates, co-workers, fellow church members or local
businesses, regardless of age and from any part of Moore
County may qualify. To nominate someone you know
or with whom you serve for this prestigious Governor’s
Award, there are some very simple qualifications. First, the
volunteer must have a minimum of one year of volunteer
service; secondly, two references are required for each
nomination. A new category, Director of Volunteers, has
been added to recognize paid volunteer directors.
Nominations are being accepted
for volunteers in 11 additional
categories: individual, family,
group/team, youth volunteer
(age 18 or younger), senior
volunteer (age 55 or older),
perseverance in volunteerism,
national service volunteer,
OutreachNC • October 2011 29
outstanding mentor, faith-based volunteer, corporate
volunteerism and lifetime achievement.
It is up to you to cast your vote for Moore County’s
outstanding volunteers and respond quickly as the
deadline is Oct. 28. You have three easy ways to get a
copy of the official nomination form and guidelines. You
may pick it up at the Moore County Senior Enrichment
Center, download it at www.moorecountync.gov/index.
php/rsvp/upcoming-events or receive a form via e-mail by
For information on available volunteer opportunities
in Moore and the surrounding counties, contact Sheila
Klein, Moore County RSVP, at (910) 215-0900 or sklein@
moorecountync.gov. In Wake County, contact City of
Raleigh Community Services Department’s at (919) 996-
6100 or e-mail Jennifer.Robinson-Hartle@raleighnc.gov.
30 OutreachNC • October 2011
Lu Mil Vineyard
makes Dublin a
Photos by Carrie Frye/OutreachNC
Denise Bridgers helps keep family at the heart of Lu Mil Vineyard, which offers muscadine blends, venues for events and rental cabins on
their acreage in Dublin, just outside Elizabethtown in Bladen County. Lu Mil is a popular wedding destination, hosting approximately 65
weddings a year since opening in 2005. They now host an annual Bridal Show, the next is on Jan. 15, 2012, to showcase the vineyard.
framed photograph of Lucille and
Miller Taylor hangs on the wall inside
the wine tasting room and gift shop of Lu Mil
Vineyard, the name derived from the family matriarch
and patriarch, to welcome guests to their family’s land
in Dublin. Although Lucille and Miller did not live to see
the fruits of their sons’ labor, their legacy lives on. The
Taylor brothers, Ron and Oren, opened the vineyard in
December 2005 after the tobacco market faded.
Today, Lu Mil Vineyard is 58 acres of pristine rows
of picturesque grapevines consisting of 15 varieties of
“Granddaddy’s original vines are there on the
building,” says Denise Bridgers, 43, Oren’s oldest
daughter and co-owner the vineyard with her Uncle
Ron since her father’s death in 2007. “Ron is what
makes this place go. He has the vision. I just handle
the business end,” she says, driving along a self-tour
that guests may follow during a vineyard visit.
Ron Taylor, 59, adds, “I love my mama and daddy,
and I consistently try to make them proud. They both
worked tirelessly, and my mother particularly liked
for things to be neat and pretty. My daddy would try
By Carrie Frye
anything he thought he could make a penny
on, and mama squeezed a penny so tight
that Abraham Lincoln would cry.”
Bridgers continues,“Most local people are always
wondering what we (the Taylors) are going to do next.
The vineyard has become a destination, because you
have to find us,” referencing the vineyard’s location off
the beaten path near N.C. 87 in Bladen County.
Word-of-mouth is what Bridgers attributes to making
the vineyard a successful destination, but it could also
be the family’s willingness to re-invent themselves and
consistently add to the visitor experience. The large
tasting room is stocked and ready for all palettes,
equipped with a full-length wooden bar, café tables
to enjoy a quick bite from the deli and ornate displays
of wine accompaniments, jams, jellies, ciders, and
Muscadine Power pills packed with natural antioxidants.
Each of the family’s wines bear names of significance.
Old Cumberland, named for Cumberland County, from
where many patrons travel, is a soft, semi-dry white.
Taylor Divine boasts the family name and is a semisweet
mid-harvest white. Harmony Hall, named for a
nearby historic site, is sweet, fruity and cold-fermented.
continued page 31
OutreachNC • October 2011 31
Bladen Blush, named for their
home county, is Bridgers’ favorite
and a late harvest blend. Cape
Owen Red is a traditional, Southern
red named for the Cape Fear River
and Gov. John Owen, who hailed
from Bladen County. And last but
not least, Sir Walter Raleigh is a
sweet red and bestseller at Lu Mil’s
location at the Raleigh Farmers
Market in the Market Shoppes that
is open seven days a week.
“Our alcohol free wines are
named Lucille’s Choice in honor
of grandma and the fact that she
did not like alcohol,” says Bridgers
with a quick grin as she points to
the picture of Miller and Lucille,”
and jokes,“we blindfold grandma’s
eyes sometimes, so she can’t see
what we are doing.”
Lucille Taylor would certainly be
happy knowing visitors can come
pick their own fresh grapes right
off the vine. She would be proud
of the large event room adjacent
to the tasting room overlooking
her own gardens and the Barrel
Room on the property that are now
venues for everything from an offsite
meeting to a fairytale wedding.
And then there’s Bridgers’
favorite spot named for her
grandfather, Doc’s Deck, which
offers expansive, tranquil views
of the pond and vineyard for
“I just love it here,” says Bridgers
of the deck. “This is where I can
Guests, too, can plan their own
getaway at one of the vineyard’s
six lakefront rental cabins.
Lu Mil also hosts its share of
popular events to draw a crowd.
Two outdoor stages welcome a
variety of musical acts. The North
Carolina Grape Festival will be
held Oct. 8 with a grape stomp
competition, vineyard tours aboard
Lu Mil’s red double-decker bus
and community yard sale from 8
a.m. to 3 p.m.
New this year, the vineyard will be
all lit up for a drive-thru Christmas
Light Show on weekends from
Thanksgiving to Christmas.
Visitors can sample the vineyard’s
seasonal blend, Merry Christmas,
while shopping in the gift shop for
a few unique Christmas presents.
Sharing the vineyard with the
community is an ongoing tradition
for the Taylors, which keeps family
at the heart of this vineyard. A
framed photograph of Oren with a
huge smile also adorns the tasting
room wall and is often referenced
by servers as they pour the wines
for patrons and tell the story of the
“Daddy and Ron were perfect
partners. Daddy was a genius,
mechanically smart, and Ron was
the salesman,” says Bridgers.
“Ron and I have always been
close, and he’s my confidante. I
have that same picture of Daddy
taped to my computer screen, and
whenever I am having a hard time
or a bad day, I will look at it and
say, ‘Quit laughing at me.’ I always
knew I would do something with
the family business, and I can’t
imagine doing anything else.”
Right from the farm
the “General Store”
“The way it used to be delivered.”
•Glass bottled Milk
•Farm churned Butter
“Farmers’ meats...Better flavor”
• Local Farmed Meats
“Remember how we once ate from
•Local farm produce
•Local canned goods
when you buy
Not to be combined with other coupons,
gift certificates, or promotions.
905 Linden Rd., Pinehurst, NC
32 OutreachNC • October 2011
There are a few things you can do to specifically ward off
memory loss. Most importantly, EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN!
HOW TO PLAY
• Every row of
9 numbers must
include all digits
1 through 9
• Every column
of 9 numbers
must include all
digits 1 through 9
• Every 3 by 3
subsection of the
9 by 9 square
must include all
digits 1 through 9
See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 34
Rearrange the letters in each word
below to spell the names of words
pertaining to National Car Care Month.
1. Kuwaiti, e.g.
10. Boor’s lack
14. Box office take
15. Start of a refrain
16. Bounce back, in a
18. Three-___ fork
19. Heroin, slangily
22. Equips for military
24. Lively intelligence
26. Home, informally
27. “Potemkin” setting
30. Wears away
32. Machine to cut and
34. Blouse, e.g.
37. Driver’s licenses, for
one (2 wds)
41. “For shame!”
42. Exactly (3 wds)
44. Chemical cousin
45. Statue base
47. Most desperate
48. “Beat it!”
49. Harvest fly
51. More loyal
58. Retain with stone
60. “Field of Dreams”
61. Carbon compound
62. Fragrant resin
63. Alpine transport
65. Big Bertha’s
66. Toy that comes
easily to hand
1. City on the Yamuna
2. Commuter line
4. Residential suburb of
5. His “4” was retired
6. Frock wearer
8. Type of guitar
9. Carpenter’s groove
10. Blue book filler
11. Computer’s interval
between request and
delivery (2 wds)
12. Mariner’s aid
23. Lower surface
27. Final notice
28. Lover of Aeneas
29. Vertebrate’s brain
31. Iroquoian language
35. Aces, sometimes
38. Bags with shoulder
40. Excessive desire to
43. Those who steal
48. Backgammon piece
50. ___ de menthe
52. Algonquian Indian
54. Gray wolf
56. Hawaiian tuber
59. Bolivian export
Asset allocation can help protect your portfolio
Over time, the value of stocks can go up and
down. Bond prices fluctuate with interest rates,
as do other types of fixed-income securities
such as certificates of deposit and investments in
money-market accounts. Predicting which investment
vehicles are likely to perform better than others at any
given point time is next to impossible. So how do you
choose investments for your portfolio?
The answer may be to follow a risk-reduction strategy
called asset allocation. Essentially, asset allocation
diversifies your portfolio among several distinct asset
classes. These may include stocks, bonds, real estate,
money markets, cash and more.
How do you decide which combination of
investments is right for
you? Start by asking
yourself the following
• Objectives – What
are your financial goals?
Do you want to retire
early or build your dream
house? How much money
will you need to save to
accomplish your goals?
• Risk Tolerance – Can
you stomach fluctuations
in the market? Do you
want a steady return with
• Time Horizon – Will
you retire in five years?
Fifteen? Are you ready to
send your child to college
next year or in 10 years?
• Cash Flow – Do you
need a steady flow of
income now from your
investments, or can you
continue to put your
money away for a few
questions will help both
you and your financial
advisor decide what
kind of asset allocation
will help you meet your
goals and then choose
specific investments that match
your appropriate allocations.
Bear in mind that although asset
allocation can help diversify your
portfolio, it does not protect
against fluctuating prices or
Baker, a financial advisor
with Wells Fargo Advisors in
Pinehurst can be reached at
People living with
diabetes face many
OutreachNC • October 2011 33
James Michael Baker
Wells Fargo Advisors does not provide legal or tax advice. Be sure to consult with your tax and legal advisors before taking
any action that could have tax consequences. Any estate plan should be reviewed by an attorney who specializes in estate
planning and is licensed to practice law in your state. Trust services available through banking and trust affiliates in addition to
non-affiliated companies of Wells Fargo Advisors. Investments in securities and insurance products are: NOT FDIC-INSURED/
NOT BANK-GUARANTEED/MAY LOSE VALUE. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and
a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. ©2010 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.
We offer more solutions.
The FirstHealth Wound Care & Hyperbaric Centers at Moore Regional Hospital
and Richmond Memorial Hospital are specially equipped
to treat diabetic wounds with Medicare-approved advanced
treatments including hyperbaric oxygen therapy,
which is proven to increase healing success.
Get back to doing the things you love. If you have a
wound that has not healed, we have solutions. Our
state-of-the-art wound care offers a comprehensive
pathway of care.
Call (910) 715-5901 in Moore County
or (910) 417-3636 in Richmond County and find out
how we can expand your treatment options.
Diabetes Health Fair
Saturday, Nov. 12 • 9 a.m. - Noon
FirstHealth Specialty Centers Building in Pinehurst
For more information, call
34 OutreachNC • October 2011
How often have you heard either of these
phrases -- “It’s not your lead!” or “No spades,
partner?” Have you ever pulled out one card
from your hand only to find another flop onto the table
unintentionally? Any of these circumstance will result
in a “Penalty Card” that must be played as directed by
various laws of duplicate bridge. Should you ever find
that a card has been placed face up on the table that
should not have been played, call the director and let
him or her sort it out.
Penalty cards generally fall into two categories – Major
Penalty Cards and Minor Penalty Cards. Let’s cover the
simpler of the cases first - Minor Penalty cards.
A Minor Penalty Card is a non-honor card that was
played or exposed via an inadvertent act, such as
being stuck to another card as it came out of your hand.
Should two cards be played to a trick accidentally, the
player can choose which of the two cards they would
like to play to that trick. When a defender has a minor
penalty card, he may not play any other card of the
same suit below the rank of an honor until he has first
played the penalty card. However, he is still allowed to
play an honor card instead. Minor Penalty Cards carry
No lead penalties whatsoever.
Major Penalty Cards are cards of any rank exposed
through deliberate play, such as leading out of turn or
corrected revokes. If a player has two Minor Penalty
cards on the table, then sadly, they instantly become
Major Penalty Cards. From here, Major Penalty Cards
fall into two categories – when that player must play a
card to a trick or when his partner is on lead. When
playing to a trick, Major Penalty cards must be played
at their first legal opportunity, like following suit (even if
that would sacrifice a trick because he has a card in his
What’s that card doing there?
hand that could have won that trick),
or when discarding (even if that card
could have taken a subsequent trick,
like an ace).
When you have a penalty card on
the table, and it’s your partner’s lead,
the Declarer has various choices they
can make. The simplest choice is
to accept the lead out of turn, and
play in the normal rotation. Another
choice is to tell the leader to make
what ever lead they want to. In this
case, the card will be disposed of as above and played
at its first legal opportunity. The other choice is to
request or forbid the lead of that suit. If this choice is
exercised, the Penalty Card can be picked up from the
table and returned to the player’s hand and that card
can then be played whenever that player chooses to
play it. If the declarer forbids the lead of that suit, then
the defender on lead must lose the lead and regain it
before they may play the suit that declarer forbid.
After the hand is completed, the director can have
the final say in the matter. Should there be information
from the play of a Penalty Card (conveyed information
as to damage the non-offending side), then the director
can award an adjusted score. This circumstance is
Exposed card penalties can be quite harsh and you
would do best to avoid them. However, even the best
players will often make this mistake. All you can do is
hope that it does not cost you.
Dressing of Nancy’s Game in Southern Pines, can be
reached by e-mailing email@example.com.
Grey Matter Answers
Resources can ease burden of sandwich generation
More and more people are
living well into their 80s, 90s,
and even 100s as the world
population ages. The extraordinary
growth of the 65 and over crowd
is staggering: the number of senior
citizens over age
65 is growing three
times as fast as
that of the young.
The baby boom
generation is not
only caring for
is called “The Sandwich Generation.”
A typical caregiver, according to the
National Alliance for Caregiving, is “a
46-year-old woman, who is married,
working, and spends an average
of 18 hours a week caring for her
elderly mother.” Basic responsibilities
among these overly stressed and
overly burdened women are providing
transportation for their children and
parents, grocery shopping (not only
for their own family, but also for their
aged relatives), and doing household
chores in addition to assisting with
the basic aspects of daily living
(bathing, dressing, and feeding). These
“sandwiched” women visit doctors,
cook, clean and run errands with both
groups. Additionally, these special
women provide emotional, financial,
physical support and caregiving to their
Lauren Watral, MSW
children and aging parents and relatives.
Add working full-time to the equation
and you have overworked, anxious and
Where do these women, unprepared
for the role of caregiver, turn to relieve
the burden? Who can help with
caring for their aging parents? Dr. Ken
Dychtwald, gerontologist and author
of “Age Power,” suggests that “the
most vital thing a caregiver can do is
find a trusted advisor—a person, not
a pamphlet—to help lead a family
through the thickets of health care,
financial, and emotional questions.”
The conceptualization of Geriatric
Care Management emerged in the
1980s from the tasks performed by
hospital discharge planners and social
workers that defined and finalized a
plan of care for people preparing to
leave the hospital. This hospital vocation
evolved into what is now Geriatric
Care Management, professionals who
“serve as consultants for families with
dependent older adults.”
The overly burdened adult children
of the baby boom generation are thrust
into caring for their aging parents. Often,
there are also nonprofit organizations
that can offer information and support.
The key is not being afraid to ask for
help, when you need it.
Watral, MSW, is owner of Raleigh
Geriatric Care Management and on the
Board of Directors for Guiding Lights
Caregiver Support Center in Raleigh. E-mail
firstname.lastname@example.org or call
OutreachNC • October 2011 35
Drug Co. Inc.
311 Teal Drive
· Commercial · Residential
· Landscaping · Lot Blowing
Tater Baker, Owner
36 OutreachNC • October 2011
Avoiding mistakes in long-term care planning
Once you understand the financial risk posed
by a long-term care (LTC) event, the planning
process should begin. As you weigh the
options to cover the eventual and likely LTC event, there
are several common mistakes you should avoid.
Waiting Too Long to Address the Issue: There are
significant reasons to address potential LTC needs
sooner rather than later. Since the cost of LTC insurance
is primarily based on two factors, age and health status,
the older you are at the time of application, the more
you should expect the coverage to cost. And of course
as we age, there is a greater likelihood that health
issues will arise. The worst-case scenario is when we
actually wait too long to obtain coverage. Motivated
by a new medical diagnosis causing us concern, we
apply for coverage and may end up surprised when we
are subsequently denied coverage. According to the
American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance, 14
percent of applicants age 50-59, increasing up to about
70 percent of applicants age 80 and above, are declined
coverage due to poor health. The right time to apply
for coverage is when you are
Insuring One Spouse,
But Not the Other: While
it is true that women
are twice as likely as
men to need and
use LTC insurance,
creates a far greater financial risk
and emotional toll should the
husband need care. Regardless
of which spouse is not covered,
the risk of delivering care, not
just from the financial liability
it presents but also due to the
actual care-giving, will
surely impact the couple’s
quality of life. Several LTC
carriers offer shared benefit
Elizabeth Donner, CRPC
policies for couples, so there can be a total amount of
coverage for either one or both spouses to use. This
flexibility can prove to be a tremendous advantage,
and depending upon the carrier, when couples buy
coverage at the same time, they can qualify for up to a
40 percent discount compared to single pricing.
Assuming the Cost of Care Yourself: Without LTC
coverage in place, you are essentially self-insuring
against the greatest financial threat you will experience
in retirement. In NC the current average annual cost of
a home health aide is $41,000/year and Nursing Home
care is $71,000/year. Those two numbers by themselves
may not seem that overwhelming. When multiplied
by several years of care in addition to cost-of-livingadjustments
as healthcare costs rise —a five-year stay in
a nursing home, 20 years from now may net a $700,000
bill. This amount would be doubled to $1.4 million for a
couple. The truth is, the large majority of us are just not
in a financial position to self-insure against this liability,
and even the ones that are, would typically prefer to
leave assets to children, grandchildren or charities
instead of paying nursing home costs outright. We
all have competing financial priorities, but with a 70
percent chance of needing LTC services at some point,
is this the right time to roll the dice? Remember, any
coverage is better than none at all. Even a small policy
provides a degree of protection to your retirement nest
egg, that you otherwise would not have.
Donner is a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor, holds
NASD Securities Licenses 6, 63 & 65, has a BS in Nursing, is licensed
in LTC and is NAIC Partnership Certified. She can be reached at
Beth@DiversifiedPlanning.com or (919) 460-6076.
Please note that the information given here should not be construed as tax advice
and that you should consult your own tax advisor for your particular situation.
Finding comfort in routines
As the heat of summer starts to give way to
the colors and cooler temperatures of fall, I
am reminded of the impact of transitions on
our sense of well-being. Retirement, a new home
or even a new car, transitions can be a wonder or a
I have recently gone through an employment
transition. I am having to figure out new routines to
go with my new functions as well as working in a new
location. I had comfortable routines in my previous
work experience that gave me a sense of stability
and certainty to my days. However, I know that over
time I will settle into new routines.
A sense of routine
gives us a sense of
stability and certainty in
our life, which we need
to feel “safe,” not only
in the sense of being
safe from things that
go bump in the night,
but also such thoughts
as, “Can I keep food
on the table and a roof
over my head?.” When
we do not feel safe,
we tend to experience
anxiety. People are
even if unconsciously,
the information and
happenings around them
to determine how safe
their situation is.
When we do not
have our routines to
go through, we often
feel like the entire day
does not feel right. This
feeling can put us into
a state of distress. The
more significant the area
of transition (retirement
vs. new car), typically
the more heightened the
level of distress.
Those transitioning into
OutreachNC • October 2011 37
retirement or “downsizing,” can
often be excited as well as a bit
anxious or uncertain. Prepare
for transition, including planning
on how to keep to normal
routines as much as possible
as well being actively aware
of developing new routines
which compliment their new
eSocialWorker Tip: Routine helps!
Marquez, of eSocialWorker LLC, can be reached at (910)
38 OutreachNC • October 2011
OutreachNC • October 2011
Photos by Mollie Tobias
Sally Thomas of Southern Pines, Patty Schoolcraft of Sanford (holding her granddaughter Deliah Rose) and Jill Murr of Raleigh share their
stories of courage and unique experiences with breast cancer in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Fighting the good fight against breast cancer
October usually brings to mind
fall leaves, pumpkins and shades
of gold, orange and brown.
However, one color that stands out this time each year
in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness
Month is pink. Pink ribbons as a symbol stand for moral
support and raise both awareness and funds to research
the cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure of
breast cancer. The statistics are staggering. One in eight
women in the United States will develop invasive breast
cancer over the course of her lifetime. With numbers like
these, is not unusual to have a friend or family member
be affected by the disease.
In 1992, Sally Thomas of Southern Pines went in for a
routine mammogram, and it showed an abnormality.
“The thing about breast cancer is that you just don’t
know. It is such a silent killer. In my case, it wasn’t
large enough that I would have found it. They did a
biopsy, and the only choices then were lumpectomy
or mastectomy,” explains Thomas of being faced with a
breast cancer diagnosis. “I chose a mastectomy, because
it seemed like the right thing to do.”
Thomas, a mother of three and busy local real estate
agent for nearly 30 years, was relieved to know in her
case that there was no lymph node involvement with
By Carrie Frye
her cancer and that the removal of her
affected breast was indeed the best option.
“If you’re going to lose a part of your
body, it is probably the best part to lose. It was far less
invasive than it was years before then,” says Thomas.
“It certainly makes you aware of your body and to be
aware of changes.”
One coping mechanism Thomas found the most
helpful was to join a support group.
“It was very important to me at the time. We
supported each other, learned about treatments
and alternative treatments that were available and
fundraising events,” says Thomas, who attended a
monthly group for almost 14 years after her diagnosis
because even though she reached a point where she
felt she did not need to go anymore, she still went so
that she might be able to help someone else.
As a breast cancer survivor now for 19 years, Thomas,
74, is a believer in regular check-ups, mammograms and
self-exams for early detection.
“It is not anything you are going to wake up and feel
bad about. Every case is different. Screenings are so
important. The earlier you have a mammogram, the
better. You cannot rest on laurels. Nobody in my family
had ever had breast cancer,” she says.
continued page 39
Thomas does have a prosthesis, but because she
never had to undergo chemotherapy or radiation, she
never lost her hair or had to use a wig, hat, scarf or
other accessory that often go along with breast cancer.
“The best part about those things is that they are
temporary,” reminds Thomas.
Thomas, happily married to her childhood sweetheart,
is still working, enjoys her grandchildren and shares her
story with kindness, honesty and an embracing warmth.
She hopes that it might encourage other women to be
proactive with their health by having regular exams,
like the one she had that changed her path and plans,
but allowed her to still be here now.
“Breast cancer touches a lot more people than you
might think, she says. “Early detection is the key.”
For women in the U.S., breast cancer death rates are
higher than those for any other cancer, besides lung
cancer, which offers more incentive for women to have
Patty Schoolcraft of Sanford whole-heartedly agrees
with Thomas when it comes to early detection. In 1997,
Schoolcraft felt a lump in her breast while she was in
the shower. It caught her attention and led her to call
her gynecologist right away for an appointment. From
there, she was sent to a surgeon, who did a biopsy. The
lump was merely a benign fibroid cyst, but some tissue
underneath looked suspicious.
“I was just fortunate that they found the cancer under
the cyst. I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer,”
recalls Schoolcraft. “I only knew that I wanted to live to
see the day I would have grandchildren.”
Schoolcraft was referred to an oncologist. She
opted for the mastectomy of her affected breast. Her
treatments afterwards were aggressive with rounds of
chemotherapy and radiation.
“Cancer doesn’t hurt. The treatment is what gets you.
You have to try and have a good attitude. I had a good
support system, my family, a good church family and a
support group,” says Schoolcraft.
She opted for the reconstruction surgery, which uses
tissue from the abdomen.
“It really was one of the worst surgeries, and it took
six months to heal,” she remembers. “The doctor kept
reminding me that I was going to lose my hair. I had
thin hair anyway, so that wasn’t a big deal to me. In fact,
it gave me the opportunity to wear a beautiful wig that
everyone told me made me look 10 years younger.”
Unfortunately, when she had a port put in for her
chemotherapy treatments, she developed a blood clot.
continued page 40
OutreachNC • October 2011 39
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continued from page 39
Schoolcraft was rushed by ambulance to the hospital
and had to answer some questions by the paramedics
on the way.
“When they got me into a room to begin the procedure
to break up the blood clot, they started laughing. When
I asked what they were laughing about, the nurse said
the paramedic had written down that I had a vasectomy
instead of mastectomy. Everyone had a good laugh, the
procedure went well and the blood clot was dissolved,”
“Well, I got through that, and my oldest son, Brian,
decided he wanted to get married that year. I had no
hair and had to wear a wig and false eyelashes, but God
had given me a distraction from my cancer and also a
lovely daughter-in-law, Tracey,” says Schoolcraft.
The breast cancer was gone. Schoolcraft finished her
treatments and had joined a support group when she
first learned about Relay for Life. Since she was doing so
well, the group asked her to be the team captain. Family
and friends joined her efforts to form a team called the
“All-Nite Trakkers” to participate in the annual all-nighter
walk-a-thon each May.
However, at another routine check-up in 2000, she
was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia.
“The good news was that it was one of the kinds
that can be cured with a bone marrow transplant,”
Schoolcraft says. “I felt like my world was upside down
again. I had a new one-year-old granddaughter, and all
I wanted to do was live.”
Fortunately, Schoolcraft’s brother was a bone marrow
match and donor. She would have to make the trip to
Seattle, Wash. for the transplant and treatment for a
“My husband hated to travel, but he loved me enough
to get on a plane and go with me to be my caregiver,”
she remembers fondly. “I thank God for my brother, who
gave me a second chance at life. The hardest part was
leaving my granddaughter for four months.”
Schoolcraft’s friends and family had many fundraisers
for the family to help with expenses. The transplant
worked, and Schoolcraft dedicated herself to her Relay
for Life team as a way to give back.
Life went on for Schoolcraft until she began having
pain in her other breast in 2005. Her surgeon found
cancer in a duct, which he removed. When it did not
heal, the diagnosis was invasive breast cancer, and she
decided to have another mastectomy, but opted for a
prosthesis the second time around.
“I remember the hardest part being when I had to
tell my youngest son Kevin that the cancer was back,
and he just broke down,” recalls Schoolcraft. “I had to
have chemo treatments again, and I lost my hair again,
but I feel very blessed to be here. I have two sons, two
daughter-in-laws, four beautiful grandchildren and a
wonderful caregiver in my husband.”
Defying all the odds, Schoolcraft, now 60, remains
positive and strong.
“If anything, cancer has enhanced my life, and that
may sound strange, but it made us closer as a family.
I know it made me closer to my boys. I am pretty
happy with my life. With all I have been through, I’m in
pretty good shape. I still get outside and play with my
grandkids. I would like to see a cure in my lifetime, so
my children and grandchildren do not have to endure
what I have,” she thoughtfully explains. “What gets you
through cancer is prayers, faith, hope and the love of
people. God will see you through anything. He gives you
trials to make you stronger.”
Schoolcraft did have genetic testing done, which
ironically came back negative. She still believes it to be
genetic since both of her parents had a form of cancer.
In fact, a woman’s risk of breast cancer approximately
doubles if she has a first-degree relative (mother, sister,
daughter), who has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
About 20 to 30 percent of women diagnosed with
breast cancer have a family history of breast cancer.
Jill Murr, 34, of Raleigh knows these statistics all too
well. Murr watched both her mother and aunt lose long
battles with breast cancer.
“Mom was sick for so long. She was never the same
person. She had “chemo brain” and could not remember
anything,” recalls Murr.
At 29, Murr opted for the genetic testing, which
showed she had the BRCA2 gene. According to the
National Cancer Institute, a woman’s risk of developing
breast and/or ovarian cancer is greatly increased if she
inherits a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation. A mastectomy and
a hysterectomy by age 40 are typical recommendations.
“Mom cried when she found out I had the gene. She
felt so guilty. I was crying at her bedside saying, ‘Thank
you for giving me this knowledge,’” remembers Murr.
“I went to Duke for regular check-ups. Then every time
the phone would ring, I had to wonder if it was the call.
I didn’t want someone to say, ‘You have cancer.’”
Taking a proactive and preventative approach, Murr
began to consider her options.
continued page 41
“I thought about having the surgery,” says Murr of
a mastectomy, but her second child was only three
months old at the time.
When Murr decided to move forward and have the
surgery, she prepared her two young sons by telling
them she would not be able to hug them for awhile
“I told them we would have to hand hug,” she says
with a smile. “They have heard the word ‘mastectomy’
since they were two and four. We always use the correct
terms. I dream of making a children’s book that talks
about preventative and genetic surgeries.”
Murr had a double mastectomy at age 32 to reduce
the 87 percent chance
that she would develop
breast cancer. She opted
for breast implants in lieu
of a prosthesis.
“Mom died two months
and one day after my
surgery,” Murr remembers.
“There is something
about a parent passing
away that makes you
realize what life is about.”
Murr finds solace in
her close-knit family, her
sons and especially her
“She’s my hero. She’s lost
two of her five children.
My whole family lives
within walking distance
of each other. My uncle
made a memorial garden
with a pink ribbon in rocks
and two benches (one for
her aunt and mother),”
describes Murr. “It’s a neat
place to go and reflect.”
Perspective, a desire to
live life to its fullest and
make their stories known
in hopes of helping
others is what these three
“I try to eat healthy and
exercise. I am glad to
know that I won’t suffer
Road to Recovery
Rebuilding after breast cancer
OutreachNC • October 2011 41
in that particular way with breast cancer, and I have my
faith,” says Murr. “I enjoy talking about the experience if
it can help somebody else.”
Schoolcraft cherishes a spur of the moment beach
trip, a drive just because it is snowing and this being
the first year her oldest granddaughter Carmen joined
her Relay for Life Team.
“I appreciate life and family and just being here,” says
Schoolcraft sincerely. “There is too much to live for.”
Thomas shares her story whenever asked to
encourage others not to take their health for granted.
“Your priorities tend to change once you have been
involved with the “C” word,” says Thomas.
Thanks to early detection and advancements in breast cancer, many more women (and some men)
will survive to their full life expectancy. Recent studies indicate a link between moderate physical
exercise and improved comfort and quality of life for survivors. With many different kinds of treatments
available, there are numerous side effects that millions are left with such as feeling weary physically
and emotionally. Pilates and specialized post-operative rehabilitation programs can be designed to help
survivors regain their physical strength and sense of well-being that has been lost through surgery and other
treatments. Side effects from surgery, chemotherapy, radiation or other treatments can be life changing, but
with a good support system and encouragement, survivors can be proactive and rebuild their lives.
Lymphedema is one of the most chronic issues that many patients have to deal with. This condition
causes a buildup of lymphatic fluid due to damage or removal of the lymph nodes which can put the affected
arm at risk of developing lymphemdema. Muscle is the key way that lymph vessels move fluid; muscle
contraction assists in transporting fluid. The best kind of movement to help move fluid more efficiently
should be gentle and gradual which is the foundation of Pilates.
Surgery and treatments can result in loss of mobility and postural imbalances that make daily tasks
painful and difficult and exercise may be the last thing you feel like doing. Stretching and strengthening
the shoulder, chest, back and abdominal muscles will allow women to regain full range of
motion to those areas affected so you may resume normal daily activities and maintain a
positive body image. Other treatments and hormone therapies can affect bone density.
It is important to maximize body strength and muscle tone as well as increase stamina.
Proper breathing patterns are another important component to activating muscle and
increase circulation to promote healing. Incorporating movements that focus on breath
and control will also aid with reducing stress and tension and help combat the common
symptom of fatigue which can discourage physical activity.
Because Pilates originated as a rehabilitation program and integrates the principles
of breath, proper alignment, stabilization and improving flexibility without stressing the
joints, it is a perfect fit for breast
cancer survivors on your road to
recovery and wellness. Whether
your surgery was recent or many
years ago, once your medical team
has recommended exercise, the
proper program will help restore
your self-esteem and empower you
to embrace life.
For more information contact:
Certified Pink Ribbon Program Exercise Specialist
Art of Motion Pilates, Aberdeen
42 OutreachNC • October 2011
have been trolling the Internet again and happened
across another animal story. In past columns, we
have had seasick fishes, an angry camel and a
swan used as a club. This story tops them all.
It takes place in a land far, far away
known as Belarus. Belarus is in
eastern Europe. But our tale could
be a story about an animal that
triumphs over adversity anywhere.
It’d be great for a segment of
“When Animals Attack,” but there
isn’t any video of the encounter.
Military & Seniors
It could even be an endearing
story of a cute little animal that
is smarter than a human.
Our hero is a Belarusian fox,
who we will call Fredino. Fredino is out minding his own
business (as were the fish, the swan and the camel)
when he meets “the hunter.” “The hunter” remains
nameless in all the news reports I’ve seen, most likely
because he is stupid and doesn’t want anyone to know.
He is also referred to as “the man.”
“The hunter” meets Fredino, and being a hunter,
he decides to shoot him. Fox hunting in Belarus is a
popular pastime, so one can assume “the hunter” had
perhaps actually hunted before.
Anyway, a spirited chase ensues. Uphill, over dale,
through the farm fields, here and there, running willy-nilly
all over the place. At last ,“the hunter” raises his gun (no
fellas, I don’t know the make, model or caliber) and fires.
Fredino, a bit tired after all the chasing, barely misses
dodging the bullet. Fredino lies wounded. “The hunter”
cannot tell us exactly where said wound was located,
but swears one existed.
Slowly, stealthily “the hunter” sneaks up on Fredino,
sort of like Sarah Palin hunting caribou in the Arctic
only with fewer people involved. Palms sweating, heart
racing, he closes in to deliver the coup de grace. Then
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he realizes ammo in Belarus can be
a bit on the expensive side. Being
resourceful, he asks himself, why
waste another bullet? Why not just
knock the stuffing out of
the fox with the butt of
the gun? He steps closer,
turning the business end
of the rifle toward himself.
I must interrupt here
to bring your attention
to the extreme willpower
exhibited by Fredino during
episode. Fredino employed the popular play ‘possum
strategy reminiscent of Clint Eastwood in the spaghetti
westerns. Clint lies shot, and the bad guy slinks up
kicking Clint with the toe of his boot to see if Clint’s really
dead and ends up with a big surprise.
Closer gets “the hunter.” Fredino holds his breath.
“The hunter” raises the rifle butt and just as the butt
comes down, Fredino grabs for it with his little fox-paws.
According to official reports from prosecutors in Grodno,
Fredino “fiercely resisted,” and a struggle ensued. Picture
it, if you will, Fredino pulling on the butt and “the hunter”
yanking on the barrel. Apparently “the hunter” had not
been working out because he could not wrest his gun
from a fox. We’re not talking an elephant here; it’s a fox.
Heavens, my cat, Ra, is bigger than your average fox (by
the way, Ra is not fat. He is merely big-boned . . . really).
Fredino grasps the trigger and pulls it. Shoots “the
hunter” right in the leg. Personally, I think “the hunter”
was lucky. From Fredino’s angle a lot of other body
parts could have been hit. Fredino escapes, and “the
hunter” gets a trip to the hospital. While authorities say
the shooting was “accidental,” I’m not so sure.
Cohea, a freelance writer, can be reached by e-mailing
915 Pee Dee Rd • Aberdeen
OutreachNC • October 2011 43
A dash of this, a pinch of that
bake up success for Paula Deen
It was only a matter of time before
Bible Belt cook and celebrity Paula
Deen wrote her own bible. A
cooking bible, that is.
“Paula Deen’s Southern Cooking Bible” hits the shelves
on October 11. “Publishers Weekly” is already calling it
an “answer to ‘The Joy of Cooking.’” That mention has
Deen as happy as a clam dipped in butter and fried.
“I hate to even mention the ‘Joy of Cooking’ in the
same sentence as my book because it was one of the
most fabulous cookbooks ever written,” Deen says. “That
thrills me that they even said that.”
Authoring a comprehensive guide to Southern
cooking has been Deen’s dream since she wrote her first
cookbook 12 years ago. Since then, she has written 14
By Melanie Coughlin
Special to OutreachNC
books and sold eight million copies.
This multi-millionaire has come a long
way from her darkest days more than
two decades ago. Down to her last $200 and battling
agoraphobia, Deen realized then the only hope was to
take her future in her own hands.
“I knew if there were going to be changes in my life, it
was going to be me who made them,” Deen says. “It was
time for Paula to take care of herself and her children.”
It was a big wake-up for a woman raised to expect to
marry and be cosseted by a husband.
“I came from a generation where, you know, you
got married, and your husband took care of you and it
wasn’t really necessary for you to have an education,”
Deen says. continued page 44
44 OutreachNC • October 2011
continued from page 43
Instead, Deen’s marriage unraveled and her parents
died, leaving her in crippling emotional turmoil and,
eventually, on the verge of homelessness. Deen pulled
herself out of her slump for the sake of her teenage
boys, Jamie and Bobby.
“I’d lay in bed dreaming about how I could make my
mark with no education and no money,” Deen recalls.
“I dreamed up this little business, ‘The Bag Lady.’ And I
made a commitment to her that I would do everything
in my power to make her successful.”
Her vow led to a brownbag catering business that
grew into an empire of three restaurants, a popular
cooking show, a magazine and her own line of cooking
For this, her bible of Southern cooking, Deen wants
a cookbook that people will keep with them for their
“I wanted to write something like ‘Better Homes and
Gardens,’” Deen says of the book she received as a
newlywed. “That still sits in my kitchen. I have moved so
many times in my lifetime, but I have managed to keep
up with that book. I loved it then, and I still love it now.”
Deen thought a great deal about her fans and
their wallets when she wrote “Paula Deen’s Southern
“The most important thing was that it be reasonable
with today’s prices,” Deen says, referring to the economy.
“There are a few beautifully colored pictures, but we did
hand-drawn illustrations to keep the price down.”
The book includes more than 300 recipes, with all but
“Those twenty are so classic and so important to me,”
Deen says, and her affection for those foods comes
across in her voice.
That love for food is a huge part of Deen’s appeal to
fans. She takes a giddy pleasure in eating. Still, even
Deen has some foods she does not like, primarily
continued page 45
Cooking the okra separately before adding
it to this shrimp gumbo lets you enjoy
its silkiness without the sliminess. The
soup—thickened with a roux (see step 2) and
flavored with sausage, onion, bell pepper, garlic,
and Cajun seasoning—is a real traditional
Cajun recipe, full of shrimp and
perfect for serving over rice.
Serves 4 to 6
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 cup chopped okra, fresh or thawed frozen
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1 large green bell pepper, chopped
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
4 cups chicken broth
3/4 pound andouille or other smoked sausage, sliced
1 teaspoon Cajun seasoning
Salt and black pepper
1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
4 cups cooked rice, for serving
Hot sauce, for serving
1. In a small skillet, heat the oil
over medium heat. Add the okra
and cook, stirring frequently,
until no longer slimy, about 3
minutes. Set aside.
2. In a large saucepan, melt the
butter over medium heat. Whisk
in the flour and cook, stirring
constantly, until it is a light
chocolate color, about 5 minutes
(this is the “roux”).
3. Add the onion, bell pepper, and
garlic and cook for 2 minutes. Add
the broth, sausage, and Cajun seasoning and bring to a
boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer, cover, and cook for
20 minutes. Season to taste with salt and black pepper.
4. Add the shrimp and simmer until they are pink
and cooked through. Serve over the rice. Pass hot sauce
at the table.
TASTE AND ADJUST
Because soups have a tendency to cook down as the
liquid evaporates, tasting and adjusting seasoning is
one of the most important steps in soup making. I
like to keep a spoon in a clean glass of water near
my pot so I can have frequent tastes to see how my
flavors are developing.
From PAULA DEEN’S SOUTHERN COOKING BIBLE. Copyright © 2011
by Paula Deen. Published by Simon & Schuster, Inc. Reprinted by permission.
OutreachNC • October 2011 45
“The first time I tried it, I said, ‘Sweetbread. I’m gonna love me some of this stuff.’ I didn’t know it was internal
organs,” Deen says with her usual belly laugh. “I spit it out and said, ‘This is some nasty stuff.’”
Yet life is sweet for Deen. She is happily married,
and her boys are grown and have their own cooking
show. Jamie and his wife have two sons who Deen
says are “the light of my life.” Bobby, a sought-after
bachelor, is now “single but spoken for,” according to
Deen. The boys’ secure future is Deen’s most treasured
“The thing that means the most to me is knowing
that I’ve closed the door on my children ever going
through some of the things and hardships I went
through,” Deen says. “I never want them to feel the way
I felt: so vulnerable and at everyone’s mercy.”
Her suffering and hard-won success have earned
Deen a confidence that defies any detractors.
To the recent criticism from a well-known chef who
called Deen’s cooking dangerous, Deen says, “I’ve lived
long enough that some things are not worth getting
upset over. Choose your battles, and that one was
certainly not worth any battle. When I heard it, I just
Deen believes most people misunderstand
“I think people have a misconception of Southerners
that we eat fried chicken and biscuits and gravy every
day, and we don’t,” she says.
She goes on to defend Southern food, comparing it
favorably to other cooking styles.
“I’ve had the chance to travel a lot, and I’ve never
traveled any where that eats vegetables the way we
do. Sometimes in the South, we’ll have just a vegetable
plate,” she says. “I go up North, it’s pasta, it’s beef, it’s
heavy food, potatoes. Down here, there are so many
vegetables that we just relish and could live off of.
“It’s all about moderation. It’s so important that
people know their numbers and talk to their doctors.”
She giggles and adds, “Some people eat anything that
doesn’t eat them first.”
Expect lots of foods that should be eaten in
moderation in “Paula Deen’s Southern Cooking Bible.”
“I just adore the book. I’m hoping that it will be one
of those staples for kitchens,” Deen says.
Deen is signing her new book at Quail Ridge Books
in Raleigh, Friday, Oct. 14 from 6 until 8 p.m. Because
of Deen’s popularity, Quail Ridge Books has special
guidelines for fans attending the signing. Read those
at www.quailridgebooks.com and scroll down to the
section about Deen.
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46 OutreachNC • October 2011
The Fitting Room
Good morning! Welcome to Bridal Boutique.
You ignored our discreet sign: By Appointment
Only. You are six bored women with nothing
better to do. Why me, oh lord?
I’m Julie, and I’ll be your
consultant today. Which of
you is the blushing bride?
Why are they looking at each
other, don’t they know? Oh
no, that one, I was afraid it
would be her. Clutching her
Well, this is an exciting
day, isn’t it! The day you
find the perfect dress. And
your name is…? Dayton.
I’m terrible with names.
Think of Daytona Beach,
where I wasted many a
weekend working on my
tan and am now paying
the wrinkly price.
Dayton, when’s the
big date? Better be soon,
you are showing already.
Four months along, I’d
guess. You shorter girls
poke out early.
Oh my, that doesn’t
give you much time.
Well, we better get
busy then, hadn’t
we? You have got to
be kidding. What kind
of girl walks in here
needing a dress in two
Who did you bring
along today? I just
love a cheering
right, makes my
impossible. I have to
Pullen writes fiction, teaches memoir
writing at Central Carolina Community
College Pittsboro campus and operates
Rosemary House Bed and Breakfast in
Pittsboro. She can be reached by e-mail
please a seventeen-year-old pregnant bride, her mother,
her future mother-in-law, her sister and two girlfriends.
My eyeballs are throbbing.
Come along and we’ll get settled into a fitting room.
Can I get anyone something to drink? Please say no,
please say no. I hate drinks in the fitting room. They are
always getting spilled.
So that’s three diet Cokes, a root beer and two
Cheerwines? Be right back. While I’m gone, would
you fill in this questionnaire? You can read and write,
can’t you, Dayton?
Here you go. There are drink holders in the chairs.
Yes, it’s just like the movies. Sit back and enjoy the show.
Oh my, that’s a bright flash! No cameras please. Text
and tweet all you want. Just no pictures of Dayton in her
underwear on Facebook. If I gritted my teeth any harder,
Looking at your answers, Dayton, I see that you are a
size 8? Maybe ten years ago, before puberty hit you like
a freight train.
Our dresses run quite small, so we may have to go
up a size or two. But you’ll get a perfect fit, not to
worry. Oh, you brought pictures? Very helpful. Except
these are Vera Wang. You’re in the wrong salon, honey.
And strapless? No strapless dress was ever made that
could cantilever those double-D girls.
A long, full skirt? Shantung taffeta, beautiful choice.
You’ll look like a giant marshmallow, child.
I’m thinking an empire waist would suit you well.
Since you no longer have a real waist.
And I’ll try to stay in your price range, hmmm?
You’ve got to be kidding. Only our garters are in that
continued page 47
OutreachNC • October 2011 47
OutreachNC • October 2011 47
Be back in a minute. And while you wait, here are
some style books. No, I don’t have six style books, you’ll
have to share.
(Mutters to self as she searches through the dresses.
Empire waist, strapless, cheap, taffeta. Zilch. Okay, Plan B.)
Well, Dayton, I found a dozen dresses, and one is
bound to be absolutely right. Half of these are trampy,
and half are classy. Let’s see, which will you like?
Here comes the exciting part. Try this one on! Oops,
let me hold the Coke. It’s very difficult to get Coke out
Hmmm. I think it makes you look like a manatee in a
ball gown. What do you think?
Let’s try another one. This ivory is beautiful with
your skin. I’d kill for your skin, not a pore to be seen.
Too low cut? Possibly. No one will be able to focus on
the ceremony for fear of the reveal.
Maybe one with a slightly narrower skirt? To give
you a more vertical look? Did I actually say that? Hope
she doesn’t realize that vertical is the opposite of wi-i-ii-ide.
Very nice. Oh, mom doesn’t like the pearl beading.
Mom, shut up.
What do you think of this – no beads, a sweet
neckline, A-line skirt? Ignore your sister. She’s not on
Well, it will be your very special day, and you are
worth every penny. Of course it’s too expensive.
If you want my opinion, I think a bit of sleeve would
be very flattering. If ever anyone needed straps. Wide
Mom agrees? And Mumsie? Great! So let me get a
few more. I’ll be right back. I am starting to sweat.
Here we are. I just know THE DRESS is one of
these. Oh lord, there goes the root beer. Fortunately it’s
only saturating our pink plush carpet, not the pleated
Don’t worry about that. Here, I’ll just get a towel.
I’m going away now, for ten minutes, to sullenly smoke a
cigarette and wonder when and where my life took this
turn, and if it’s too late to go back there.
How’s it going? Any luck? She looks happy but no one
else does. Does that mean… YES!
Your son will think it’s too plain? We could
appliqué sequined red roses all over it, Mumsie, if that
would make you happy. Oops, I forgot, we don’t care
what you think.
I’m so glad I was able to help. Leave it for a week to
be shortened. And don’t gain more than five pounds.
Thank you, Dayton, it was a great pleasure. I
can’t believe she hugged me. Doesn’t anyone respect
boundaries any more?
Oh! I didn’t realize all of you needed dresses. Okay,
ladies, fill out these questionnaires. Remarkable how
the promise of a big commission check does wonders for
Can I get anyone another soda?
• Tape/Film/Photo Transfers
• Photo Restorations
• Corporate Events
• And much more!
48 OutreachNC • October 2011
Fall is upon us, and so many memories are
surfacing once again as the days become cooler
and the shadows longer. There is almost a
nostalgic feeling in the air—the anticipation of leaves
turning color, visiting fall festivals, carving pumpkins
and picking out a Halloween costume—all were part
of the fun of the season. Fall was and still is a season
full of activities and plans and good times and reminds
me of the spirit of goodness in life. I appreciate being
reminded. I like that, in the midst of living here and now,
I can stop and remember good times in the past.
In recent months, tornadoes, hurricanes and
earthquakes have shaken things up, not to mention
economic challenges, day-to-day worries and the sad
anniversaries we honor. How comforting it is, then, to
remember some good times.
I do believe, for the most part, memory is about love
Your reliable source for
Private Duty Caregivers
Proud to be the only Accredited Caregiver Registry in NC
Serving south central North Carolina
with offices in Southern Pines & Cary
Live life of love given
and the connections we have with
one another, both good and bad.
Joining together fuels our hearts
and minds and spirits as we inhabit
this earth. The memories we have
of those times hold us together as
individuals and a people who are
given to love.
As we ponder all of this, I
cannot help but notice how,
in the midst of all that is going
on, people are eager to help one another. Despite
the weather-related events, human-made conflicts
or other happenings that belie comprehension, I see
people loving one another everywhere in whatever
We are working hard to live all the love we can.
As our memories show over and
From companions to RNs,
our registries of
Private Duty Caregivers
are always ready to
provide a helping hand.
• Medication reminders
• Personal care assistance
• Meal preparation
• Assistance with shopping
• Light household chores
• Activity engagement
• Dementia care
Spirituality & Aging
Rev. Pam Hudson
over again, we see how fiercely
we have loved, were loved and
love still. With that awareness and
knowledge, we know we will build
today with memories for tomorrow
that will once again remind us of
good times of the past. And our
circle of life is re-enforced as we
hold it all in our hearts.
We do recognize and fall into a
deep pattern of life that speaks
directly to who we are—a people
capable of deep and enduring love.
Love that lives in our past, in our
present, and will live forever as the
As we are loved and love one
another, we are given hope for this
time now…both as we look back
and even as we fall forward.
Goodness gracious, what
wonderful memories we have,
what wonderful memories we
are making, and what wonderful
memories there will be as we live
the love we are given.
Hudson, Senior Development Officer
at The Foundation of FirstHealth in
Pinehurst, can be reached at (910) 695-
7500 or email@example.com.
Her Klout starts with a ‘k’
OutreachNC • October 2011 49
Do you have clout? I mean, if you do, how
do you know how much clout you actually
have? Funny I should ask. Klout, with a
“k” to be kute, I guess, is a new whizbang rating
system that actually tells you where you stand as an
“influencer” of others.
I thought this was a bunch of hooey until I
researched my own Klout score and found out it was
49, which, coincidentally, was the exact score I made
on every Algebra II test back in the day. In other
words, not exactly a rip-roaring success.
Turns out, however, that the average Klout score
is in the high teens so 49 doesn’t entirely suck.
The score is derived by analyzing Twitter data for
how many people you reach and how much they’re
influenced by you, the “influencer.”
This sounds like a really, really dull science
fiction movie, doesn’t it? Trailer: “Tweeting his way
to a phalanx of followers, James Franco IS the
Of course, being the competitive sort, it grates
that Justin Beiber has a perfect score of 100. A
Klout score of 100 has been seriously described
by social media experts as “godlike.” Yes, when I
think God, I think Beiber. Next thing you know, pro
football players will be pointing a finger to the sky
and thanking Beiber.
President Obama has a Klout score of 85 to put
things in perspective.
Maybe if he could do a halfway decent rendition of
“Baby,” he could up his score.
There’s a lot of criticism that Klout is like middle
school all over again, a revival of a caste system of
have’s and have not’s. It is true that Virgin Airlines
offers free seats to top influencers and, depending
on your Klout score, you might get VIP treatment at
the Palms Hotel in Vegas. This is so much easier
than my usual method of getting perks in Vegas,
arriving at the check-in desk with a snow leopard on
The thing I like about Klout is that it isn’t about
attracting Twitter followers. Any idiot (Ashton K.) can
do that. It’s about inspiring those followers to take
action. And, yes, it does worry me that a pint-sized
pop singer inspires more people to take action than
the leader of the free world.
into my own Klout
rating, I learned that
a Klout score in the
40s indicates that you
are “an influencer with
a strong but niche
following.” I suppose
this means I’m like the
human embodiment of
Of course, none of this is useful unless you use
your Klout for good, not evil. There’s speculation that
a future app will allow you to aim your phone into a
party and see Klout scores appear over the heads of
the partygoers. If the “15” walks over and flirts with
you, will you feign illness?
Beiber help us all.
New York Times bestselling author Celia Rivenbark’s new
book, “You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl,” is available at
bookstores and online. Visit www.celiarivenbark.com.)
Distributed by MCT Information Services
50 OutreachNC • October 2011
In 20 years of working with seniors, I have yet to
hear the words exclaimed, “I can’t wait to move
into a nursing home!” I certainly never heard my father
state, “I sure hope I can’t walk someday and have other
people take care of me.”
Growing old is hard work. It is also fraught with
losses of independence along the way. The hardest
change can be when others start handing out their
advice on what they think you should be doing. On a
daily basis, I’m reminded that my advice and ideas are
not exactly what they had in mind.
I was recently working with a couple who is facing
the difficult decision of remaining in their home as
their health is drastically changing. All the trained
professionals (doctors, social workers, nurses,
therapists) and family members have weighed in and
suggested they move to where the care is most readily
available, in this case, an assisted living residence.
The husband leaned over, looked me square in the
face and exclaimed, “I’m going to do it My Way!”
He was adamant that they are not moving. I have to
say, I was impressed and I agreed. I do want to have
them do it “their way.”I want them to resist in every
way not giving up the fight for doing things the way
they want to do them.
Aging, Do It Your Way
For now, the situation is
stable. All possible scenarios
have been discussed and a
myriad of services explained,
should they at some point
decide to have additional
support. When the situation
changes or a crisis happens,
they know I will be there to
help in whatever way I
can. I will also listen to
Growing old does not
mean giving up. No matter what situation you face,
there is always the opportunity to still do things “your
way.” My belief is that, as long as you lower the risks as
much as you can, have fun. Nothing should get in the
way of you living your life.
My greatest teacher for doing things his way, in spite
of severe handicaps and good advice contradicting
his own desires, was my father. He was not one for
taking hints on how he was supposed to live out his
golden years. Despite being confined to a hospital
bed and electric wheelchair, he managed to take road
trips in a wheelchair van with his caregivers, cruise the
high seas and attend Carnival in Rio de Janero thanks
to really good airline personnel and hotel staff. With
all of the many road blocks and frustrations along the
way, he made sure to do things “his way.”
For all those facing uncertainty on the path of
aging, remember those words made famous by Frank
Sinatra, “I did it MY WAY!” The road ahead is unknown;
let your voice be heard.
I’ve lived a life that’s full -
I’ve travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
“My Way” was made famous
by Frank Sinatra. Its lyrics were
written by Paul Anka.
Contact Jennifer George
to share music memories
at (910) 692-0683 or
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52 OutreachNC • October 2011
4 OutreachNC • April 2010