Lying and Defiance Presentation

Dr. Bryan Post, MSW
www.postinstitute.come
Identifies 27 of the most
problematic and challenging
behaviors parents face.
Provides step-­‐by step guidance
and insight for working through
these behaviors.

“If you always do what you’ve
always done, you will always
be where you’ve already
been”
-­‐Bishop T.D. Jakes

• We all perceive an unexpected event or request as threatening until it is deemed to
be otherwise
• When we make a request of our child, they freeze first to determine if they perceive
this event as threatening (homework, chores, going to school etc.)
• You are not always going to know what is causing this stress reaction in your child
• The essence of defiance is fear so make your request and back away. This gives your
child some space to perceive that this request is not a threat but that it is safe.
• If you force your child to do what you want, your are creating a negative repetitious
condition.
• Want to create “positive repetitious conditioning” (basically you want them to
comply without a negative response)

• Wake your child up slowly (spend 10 mins with them,
come back in 5 min turn on light, walk away, come
back etc.)
• This helps reset their CIRCADIAN RHYTHM (how
the child wakes up in the morning and calms down
at night)
• Practice this morning routine at alternative times
(this role play can be used for any transition issue)

“It’s when we most
need love, that we
will be our most
unlovable”
-­‐Leslie Charles