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Grief and the Holidays - Hospice of the Western Reserve

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A Publication <strong>of</strong> The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

About<br />

<strong>Grief</strong><br />

Volume 20 / No. 4 / Winter 2010<br />

this issue<br />

<strong>Grief</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Holidays</strong><br />

From <strong>the</strong> Editor<br />

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve<br />

Book Review<br />

A Child’s View<br />

EDITOR<br />

Diane Snyder Cowan, MA, MT-BC<br />

Director<br />

VOLUNTEER EDITOR<br />

Thelma Morris<br />

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT<br />

Felicia Dunlop-Stanley<br />

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS<br />

Vicki Jackson, MSW, LISW-S<br />

Bereavement Coordinator<br />

Lisa M. Florjancic, MA, LSW<br />

Bereavement Coordinator<br />

Diana Battles, LISW<br />

Bereavement Coordinator<br />

Susan Lakin, LISW<br />

Pediatric Bereavement Coordinator<br />

<strong>Grief</strong> <strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>the</strong> <strong>Holidays</strong><br />

Vicki Jackson, MSW, LISW-S<br />

The inevitable question asked by bereaved<br />

people at this time <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> year is, “How will<br />

I ever get through <strong>the</strong> holidays?” Whe<strong>the</strong>r<br />

it is <strong>the</strong> first or second holiday season <strong>the</strong>y<br />

face, <strong>the</strong> added strains can create increased<br />

pressure for people already experiencing<br />

<strong>the</strong> intense feelings <strong>of</strong> bereavement. So<br />

how do you “get through” <strong>the</strong>m? There is<br />

no single answer. “Do what is comfortable<br />

for you” can be <strong>the</strong> guiding thought.<br />

During a recent support group for younger<br />

widows <strong>and</strong> widowers, participants<br />

questioned how <strong>the</strong>y will be able to cope.<br />

Conversations at work or with family<br />

<strong>and</strong> friends, <strong>the</strong> media, <strong>and</strong> retail stores<br />

trigger a wide range <strong>of</strong> feelings. The group<br />

shared <strong>the</strong>ir concerns <strong>and</strong> talked about<br />

how <strong>the</strong>y might change certain traditions.<br />

Everyone felt some degree <strong>of</strong> relief as <strong>the</strong>y<br />

realized <strong>the</strong>ir feelings <strong>and</strong> concerns were<br />

understood <strong>and</strong> accepted as normal. The<br />

overall message was one <strong>of</strong> acceptance <strong>and</strong><br />

finding <strong>the</strong> right way for yourself.<br />

For this holiday season please remember a<br />

few points:<br />

• Be aware that your feelings will be<br />

different – realize this is normal <strong>and</strong> be<br />

prepared for emotional ups <strong>and</strong> downs.<br />

• Recognize that <strong>the</strong> holidays will be<br />

different – do what feels comfortable.<br />

Even small changes can be helpful –<br />

maybe purchase gift certificates this year<br />

ra<strong>the</strong>r than deal with <strong>the</strong> large crowds<br />

at shopping malls; attend a different<br />

service in a different location.<br />

• Talk over your plans with <strong>the</strong> family. Try<br />

to respect o<strong>the</strong>r’s choices <strong>and</strong> needs while<br />

preserving your own – compromise as<br />

needed.<br />

• Avoid additional stress. Give yourself a<br />

break. Decide what you really want to<br />

do, <strong>and</strong> make changes where you can –<br />

maybe send no cards this year.<br />

• Do what is right for you <strong>and</strong> encourage<br />

o<strong>the</strong>rs to do <strong>the</strong> same. Lower your<br />

expectations <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> “perfect holiday;” keep<br />

it simple. Acknowledge <strong>the</strong> change while<br />

preserving some sense <strong>of</strong> continuity.<br />

19201 Villaview Road | Clevel<strong>and</strong>, Ohio 44119-3064 | 216-486-6838 | 800-707-8922 | hospicewr.org


from <strong>the</strong> Editor<br />

Diane Snyder Cowan, MA, MT-BC<br />

The <strong>of</strong>ficial start <strong>of</strong> winter is just around <strong>the</strong> corner. We know how gloomy Clevel<strong>and</strong><br />

winters are <strong>and</strong> we know how glitzy <strong>the</strong> holidays can be. With only a h<strong>and</strong>ful <strong>of</strong><br />

sunshiny days, but weeks <strong>and</strong> weeks <strong>of</strong> tinsel <strong>and</strong> glitter in <strong>the</strong> stores, we need to ready<br />

ourselves for a roller coaster <strong>of</strong> emotions. This can be a difficult time whe<strong>the</strong>r it is <strong>the</strong><br />

first year <strong>of</strong> your grief or several years without your loved ones present.<br />

It’s up to you how to best approach <strong>the</strong> season. The winter can be a quiet time <strong>of</strong><br />

reflection <strong>and</strong> introspection. It can be a period in which you review <strong>the</strong> past <strong>and</strong> look<br />

to <strong>the</strong> future. It can be <strong>the</strong> point at which you reinvent your life <strong>and</strong> your roles.<br />

There is a sacredness in tears.<br />

They are not <strong>the</strong> mark <strong>of</strong><br />

weakness, but <strong>of</strong> power. They<br />

speak more eloquently than ten<br />

thous<strong>and</strong> tongues. They are <strong>the</strong><br />

messengers <strong>of</strong> overwhelming<br />

grief, <strong>of</strong> deep contrition,<br />

<strong>and</strong> <strong>of</strong> unspeakable love.<br />

– Washington Irving<br />

On <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r h<strong>and</strong>, <strong>the</strong> holidays can be busy <strong>and</strong> hectic, <strong>and</strong> you may welcome <strong>the</strong>m<br />

as a distraction from your grief. Be careful not to overextend yourself. Make sure<br />

you include an “escape” for whatever plans you make. Drive your own car to that<br />

holiday ga<strong>the</strong>ring so you can leave whenever you wish. Keep expectations realistic<br />

<strong>and</strong> know that you can change your mind at any time. Whatever your choice for this<br />

season, it’s important not to isolate yourself from family <strong>and</strong> friends who can <strong>of</strong>fer<br />

companionship, comfort <strong>and</strong> support.<br />

The bereavement center continues to be here to <strong>of</strong>fer support. In addition to<br />

individual counseling, <strong>the</strong>re are a variety <strong>of</strong> groups <strong>and</strong> healing arts workshops that<br />

you may find beneficial.<br />

We wish for peace in your hearts <strong>and</strong> peace in <strong>the</strong> world.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center is a program <strong>of</strong> <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong><br />

<strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong>, <strong>and</strong> <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> recently joined Facebook,<br />

Twitter <strong>and</strong> LinkedIn. Please follow us on <strong>the</strong>se sites.<br />

Diane Snyder Cowan, MA, MT-BC<br />

(216) 486-6312<br />

dscowan@hospicewr.org<br />

Visit The Bereavement<br />

Center's Blog at:<br />

http://bereavementcenter.blogspot.com<br />

2


Give Yourself Permission To Grieve<br />

Diana Battles, MSW, LISW<br />

Early in <strong>the</strong>ir journey through grief, most people will experience<br />

varying degrees <strong>of</strong> numbness. Commonly, within four to seven<br />

months following <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> a loved one, <strong>the</strong> numbness<br />

begins to lift <strong>and</strong> emotions flood in. Relief, sorrow, anger, guilt,<br />

loneliness <strong>and</strong> regret may emerge. Unfortunately, at <strong>the</strong> time<br />

when one begins to feel engulfed in confusing <strong>and</strong> powerful<br />

emotions, friends <strong>and</strong> family may urge: “It’s been weeks or<br />

months, aren’t you over it yet? Time to pull yourself toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />

<strong>and</strong> get on with your life.” Comments like <strong>the</strong>se imply that<br />

unless <strong>the</strong>y jump back into life fairly soon after <strong>the</strong> death,<br />

something is wrong. Many bereaved people are angered <strong>and</strong><br />

shocked that o<strong>the</strong>rs could be so insensitive to <strong>the</strong>ir physical,<br />

emotional <strong>and</strong> social upheaval after <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir loved one.<br />

If only close ones realized that, generally, it takes eighteen to<br />

twenty-four months to find new stability after <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> a<br />

family member. And time is not all that is needed to regain<br />

equilibrium <strong>and</strong> perspective. If you have suffered loss, you<br />

need to give yourself permission to experience <strong>and</strong> express <strong>the</strong><br />

emotions <strong>of</strong> grief in healthy ways. With <strong>the</strong> passage <strong>of</strong> time,<br />

you will be able to find your balance once again.<br />

Each person’s style <strong>of</strong> grieving is unique. Pay attention to<br />

what your own body <strong>and</strong> soul are leading you to do:<br />

• Cry when you need to cry. A good cry can release stress. Let<br />

go <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> bottled up tears that you hold inside: unshed tears<br />

can cause your head <strong>and</strong> stomach to hurt. Scientific studies<br />

have found tears <strong>of</strong> sorrow contain certain chemicals that<br />

are natural pain relievers.<br />

• It’s OK to laugh. Humor is a good stress reliever - <strong>and</strong> it’s<br />

not disrespectful to <strong>the</strong> person who has died. They would<br />

want you to enjoy life’s laughter.<br />

• If you need time alone, take it. Some people prefer to weep<br />

privately or need <strong>the</strong>ir own space to reflect.<br />

• If you need extra sleep, indulge yourself. The emotions <strong>of</strong><br />

grief are draining.<br />

• If you are angry, find healthy outlets. Beat a pillow, scream<br />

in <strong>the</strong> shower, exercise vigorously, participate in sports,<br />

work at physical labor or pound nails.<br />

Address guilty feelings head on. Guilt can immobilize. If<br />

you cannot sort through <strong>the</strong>se feelings with a trusted friend,<br />

consider finding a counselor to help you.<br />

Recognize that <strong>the</strong>re is not one right way to express emotions.<br />

O<strong>the</strong>rs may do it differently than you do. One caution: use<br />

ways that are not destructive or harmful to you or to o<strong>the</strong>rs.<br />

First, pay attention to your feelings. Give <strong>the</strong>m healthy<br />

expression. Powerful emotions don’t just go away. If you bury<br />

<strong>the</strong>m, <strong>the</strong>y may fester, emerging at unexpected times. And it<br />

takes more emotional energy to hold feelings inside than to<br />

express <strong>and</strong> deal with <strong>the</strong>m.<br />

Talk to someone who will listen without judging. It might<br />

be a friend, clergyperson, someone who has experienced a<br />

similar loss or who is far<strong>the</strong>r along on <strong>the</strong>ir journey <strong>of</strong> grief,<br />

a support group or a counselor. A family member could help,<br />

but remember he or she is hurting, too, in a different way,<br />

<strong>and</strong> may not be able to provide <strong>the</strong> unbiased, non-judgmental<br />

listening you need.<br />

Repeat your story as <strong>of</strong>ten as you need to. Much emotion can<br />

be remembered <strong>and</strong> expressed in retelling <strong>the</strong> story <strong>of</strong> your<br />

loved one’s life <strong>and</strong> death.<br />

Keeping a journal or writing letters to your loved one about<br />

your feelings can be <strong>the</strong>rapeutic. A journal can serve as a<br />

tool to store <strong>and</strong> sort out thoughts <strong>and</strong> feelings.<br />

Entries can help you measure progress as you<br />

look back to see where you were emotionally<br />

at earlier points.<br />

The creative arts such as dance, music, drama,<br />

poetry <strong>and</strong> painting can <strong>of</strong>fer healing outlets<br />

for emotional expression.<br />

It is a challenge to give yourself<br />

permission to grieve in our fast paced<br />

culture, which wants you to “get<br />

it over” in a short amount <strong>of</strong> time.<br />

However, if you take <strong>the</strong> time you<br />

need to express your emotions, you<br />

will come to find new perspective,<br />

growth <strong>and</strong> healing.<br />

3


4<br />

Massage Therapy<br />

Providing Comfort Through Touch<br />

Stress is a normal part <strong>of</strong> life. As you move along grief’s<br />

journey, you may face many challenges. Massage <strong>the</strong>rapy is a<br />

tool useful in helping to cope with stress, anxiety <strong>and</strong> fatigue.<br />

To schedule an appointment, call Felicia Dunlop-Stanley<br />

at (216) 486-6335. All appointments will be held at The<br />

Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center.<br />

Basic Fees: $25 for 30 minutes $50 for 60 minutes<br />

Alcoholics Anonymous<br />

Headquarters<br />

Wednesdays, 12:45 pm<br />

For more information, call 216-241-7387<br />

Bereavement Support Groups<br />

Unless o<strong>the</strong>rwise noted, our support groups are open to anyone<br />

who has had a loved one die. Please note, <strong>the</strong> Westlake groups will<br />

be held at St John Medical Center, Community Outreach, 29160<br />

Center Ridge Road, Suite R. Groups are subject to change. Call to<br />

verify time <strong>and</strong> location.<br />

Adult Support Groups<br />

Winter 2010/2011<br />

Community<br />

Support Groups<br />

& Activities<br />

CIRCLE OF hope SERIES<br />

A six-week educational support class for adults who have<br />

had a loved one die. Registration is required. Please call <strong>the</strong><br />

facilitator listed below for more information or to register.<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> Headquarters<br />

Wednesdays, Mar. 2 – Apr. 6, 10:00 to 11:30 a.m.<br />

Diana Battles (216) 486-6364<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> Headquarters<br />

Mondays, Jan. 24 – Feb. 28, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />

Tensie Holl<strong>and</strong> (216) 383-3741<br />

Lakewood Office<br />

Mondays, Jan. 17 – Feb. 21, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />

Mentor Office<br />

Mondays, Jan. 17 – Feb. 21, 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.<br />

Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />

Warrensville Heights Office<br />

Tuesdays, Jan. 4 – Feb. 8, 5:00 to 6:30 p.m.<br />

Vicki Jackson 383-3737 ext. 3200<br />

Lorain Office<br />

Wednesdays, Feb. 2 – Mar. 9, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

Laurie Mason (440) 787-2099<br />

parenTS TOGETHER<br />

A support group for parents coping with <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> an adult<br />

child. Registration is required.<br />

Lakewood Office<br />

Wednesdays, Feb. 2 – Feb. 23, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />

Warrensville Heights Office<br />

Thursdays, Feb. 3 – Feb. 24, 2:00 to 3:30 p.m.<br />

Vicki Jackson 383-3737 ext. 3200<br />

hope & HEALING<br />

An on-going monthly support group for grieving adults.<br />

Registration is not required. Please call facilitator for more<br />

information.<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> Headquarters<br />

3 rd Monday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

April Ratcliffe (216) 383-3782<br />

Warrensville Heights Office<br />

4 th Wednesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 3:00 to 4:30 p.m.<br />

Joan Tabaj (216) 383-3737 ext. 3105<br />

Mentor Office<br />

1 st Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:00 p.m.<br />

Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />

FOR THE young ADULT (20’s)<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

3 rd Wednesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Diana Battles (216) 486-6364<br />

BRANCHES OF hope<br />

A series for adults who have experienced <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> both<br />

parents. This group will help you move forward while<br />

honoring your parents’ memory <strong>and</strong> identifying <strong>the</strong>ir gifts<br />

to you. Registration is required.<br />

Westlake<br />

Tuesdays, Feb 15 - March 22, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />

29160 Center Ridge Dr, Suite R<br />

JoDee Coulter (216) 383-3737 ext 3440<br />

Bereavement Etiquette<br />

(Supporting <strong>the</strong> Grieving Person)<br />

Supporting someone who is grieving can be challenging. You<br />

have good intentions but can’t find <strong>the</strong> “right” thing to say. Join<br />

us for a group discussion on supporting a grieving person, where<br />

you will get practical tips <strong>and</strong> gain insight into being helpful.<br />

Mentor Office<br />

Thursday, Feb. 10, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />

hopeFUL HEARTS<br />

<strong>Grief</strong> support for anyone age 60 <strong>and</strong> over who has experienced<br />

<strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> someone special.<br />

4 th Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />

Holy Spirit Family Center, 410 Lear Road, Avon Lake, OH<br />

JoDee Coulter (216) 383-3737 ext. 3440


PARENT loss<br />

A monthly group for adults adjusting to life after <strong>the</strong> death<br />

<strong>of</strong> a parent.<br />

Lakewood Office<br />

2 nd Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />

SIBLINGS group “New Group”<br />

A four-week group for adults who have experienced <strong>the</strong> death<br />

<strong>of</strong> a sibling.<br />

Lakewood Office<br />

Mondays, Nov. 1 – Nov. 22, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />

Spousal Loss Groups<br />

NEW BEGINNINGS<br />

A monthly support group for young widows <strong>and</strong> widowers<br />

(ages 55 <strong>and</strong> younger). This group is open-ended <strong>and</strong><br />

on-going. Registration is not required.<br />

Westlake<br />

St John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />

29160 Center Ridge Road, Suite R<br />

2 nd Wednesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

JoDee Coulter (216) 383-3737 ext. 3440<br />

Warrensville Heights Office<br />

1 st Monday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

Vicki Jackson (216) 383-3737 ext. 3200<br />

NEW JOURNEY<br />

A support group for widows <strong>and</strong> widowers <strong>of</strong> any age,<br />

adjusting to life without <strong>the</strong>ir spouse. This group is open<br />

ended <strong>and</strong> on-going. Registration is not required.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

2 nd Thursday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 10:00 to 11:30 a.m.<br />

Diana Battles (216) 486-6364<br />

Ashtabula Office<br />

2 nd Thursday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

Martie Dixon (440) 997-6619<br />

HORIZONS<br />

A monthly support group for <strong>the</strong> older adult widow<br />

<strong>and</strong> widower. This group is open ended <strong>and</strong> on-going.<br />

Mayfield Village Baptist Church<br />

6500 Highl<strong>and</strong> Road, Mayfield<br />

2 nd Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />

Kathryn Harrison (216) 486-6331<br />

Lakewood<br />

1381 Bunts Road, Lakewood, 4th floor<br />

2 nd Monday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />

Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />

FABRIC AND FEELINGS<br />

A weekly group where participants use fabric techniques such<br />

as quilting (sometimes involving clothing from loved ones) or<br />

photo transfer to create quilts, pillows, dolls <strong>and</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r types <strong>of</strong><br />

lasting memories. Sewing expertise is not necessary.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

Thursdays, 2:00 to 4:00 p.m.<br />

Mollie Postotnik (216) 486-6544<br />

Children <strong>and</strong> Family Support Groups<br />

S.T.A.R.S. (Supporting Tears, Anger, Remembrance & Sadness)<br />

A six-week support group for grieving children ages 6-12.<br />

While <strong>the</strong> children are meeting, <strong>the</strong>re is an adult support group<br />

to assist parents <strong>and</strong> family members in dealing with <strong>the</strong>ir own<br />

grief. The groups are free <strong>and</strong> open to <strong>the</strong> public. Registration<br />

is required.<br />

Mentor Office<br />

Mondays, Jan. 10 – Feb. 14, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

Molly Kohut (216) 486-6275<br />

helping HANDS/HEALING HEARTS<br />

A monthly support group for children ages 6-13 <strong>and</strong> adults, who<br />

have experienced <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> a loved one. While <strong>the</strong> adults are<br />

meeting, <strong>the</strong>re is a co-existing support group for <strong>the</strong> children.<br />

Registration is not required.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

3 rd Tuesday <strong>of</strong> each month, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Colleen Thompson (216) 486-6316<br />

Support Groups Continued on Page 6 >><br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> oFFice Locations<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss<br />

Bereavement Center<br />

19201 Villaview Road<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44119-3064<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> House & Headquarters<br />

300 East 185th Street<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44119-1330<br />

Ashtabula Office<br />

1166 Lake Avenue<br />

Ashtabula, OH 44004-2930<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong> Office<br />

19201 Villaview Road<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44119-3064<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> Care Center<br />

26376 John Road<br />

Olmsted Falls, OH 44138<br />

Lorain County Office<br />

2173 N. Ridge Road E.<br />

Suite H<br />

Lorain, OH 44055-3400<br />

Lakewood Office<br />

14601 Detroit Avenue<br />

Suite 100<br />

Lakewood, OH 44107-4214<br />

Mentor Office<br />

5786 Heisley Road<br />

Mentor, OH 44060-1830<br />

University Circle Office<br />

10645 Euclid Avenue<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44106-2206<br />

Summit County Office<br />

150 Springside Drive, Suite A-100<br />

Fairlawn, OH 44334<br />

Warrensville Heights Office<br />

4670 Richmond Road, Suite 200<br />

Warrensville Hts, OH 44128-5978<br />

Westlake Office<br />

29101 Health Campus Drive<br />

Building 2, Suite 400<br />

Westlake, OH 44145-5268<br />

5


6<br />

Holiday Programs<br />

HOLIDAY FAMILY NIGHT<br />

Ashtabula Office<br />

Wednesday, Dec. 15, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Molly Kohut (216) 486-6275<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

Monday, Dec. 13, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Felicia Dunlop-Stanley (216) 486-6335<br />

Lorain Office<br />

Monday, Dec. 6, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Laurie Mason (440) 787-2099<br />

hope FOR THE HOLIDAYS<br />

An adult bereavement group providing techniques, dialog<br />

<strong>and</strong> support for those grieving through <strong>the</strong> holiday<br />

season. Registration is required.<br />

Mentor Office<br />

Thursday, Dec. 16, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />

Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />

planning FOR THE HOLIDAYS<br />

Adults - come to one or both sessions for discussion,<br />

support <strong>and</strong> hints for getting through <strong>the</strong> holidays.<br />

Registration is required. Light refreshments will be<br />

served. (Registration Deadlines: 11/10/10.for November<br />

group <strong>and</strong> 12/8/10 for December group.)<br />

Lakewood Office<br />

Wednesdays, Nov. 17 & Dec 15, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />

Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />

Healing Arts Workshops, Winter 2010<br />

Healing Arts Workshops provide grieving people with a creative<br />

outlet for <strong>the</strong>ir grief <strong>and</strong> are open to all grieving people. No<br />

art experience is necessary. Call Mollie Postotnik at (216)<br />

486-6544 to register no later than four days in advance <strong>of</strong><br />

workshop date.<br />

Memory Wreaths<br />

Decorate a grapevine wreath, symbolizing<br />

unbroken life <strong>and</strong> love, with personal<br />

<strong>and</strong> seasonal symbols, as well as wishes,<br />

memories <strong>and</strong> prayers.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss<br />

Bereavement Center<br />

Thursday, Dec. 9, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />

29160 Center Ridge Rd., Suite R, Group Room D<br />

Tuesday, Dec. 14, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

Comfort | Hope | Healing<br />

Celebrate Their Light<br />

In this workshop, participants will decorate a<br />

c<strong>and</strong>le holder to remember <strong>the</strong> light that our<br />

loved ones brought into our lives. There will<br />

also be a c<strong>and</strong>lelight ceremony to honor <strong>the</strong>m.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

Thursday, Jan. 13, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />

29160 Center Ridge Rd., Suite R, Group Room D<br />

Tuesday, Jan. 18, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

Warrensville Heights Office<br />

Wednesday, Jan. 26, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

Healing Our Hearts<br />

Using felt <strong>and</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r fabrics, we will create<br />

a small heart “pillow” that is sewn toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />

with love, mended with hope <strong>and</strong> stuffed<br />

with thoughts, memories <strong>and</strong> prayers. No<br />

sewing experience is necessary.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

Thursday, Feb. 3, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />

29160 Center Ridge Rd., Suite R, Group Room D<br />

Tuesday, Feb. 8, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

Art for Relaxation:<br />

Winterscapes<br />

Winter is a time <strong>of</strong> hibernation, inactivity <strong>and</strong><br />

dormancy. Hope <strong>and</strong> growth lie dormant,<br />

just under <strong>the</strong> surface. What is lying dormant<br />

in you? Use watercolors or acrylics to paint a<br />

winter scene from a photograph, calendar, or<br />

simply let your imagination create a winterscape scene.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

Thursday, Feb. 17, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

Warrensville Heights Office<br />

Wednesday, Feb. 23, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

Save <strong>the</strong> Date!<br />

Burden Bowls<br />

<strong>Grief</strong> is only a part <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> burdens that bereaved<br />

persons bear. In this workshop, participants will<br />

create a bowl with clay <strong>and</strong> write <strong>the</strong>ir burdens<br />

on stones that can be <strong>the</strong>n placed in <strong>the</strong> bowl.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />

Thursday, Mar. 3 & 10, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />

St. John Medical Center<br />

29101 Health Campus Dr., Bldg 2, Suite 455<br />

Westlake, OH 44145<br />

Tuesday, Mar. 8 & 15, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.


A Child's View<br />

Susan Lakin, LISW<br />

The holiday season has begun. You’re looking forward to time <strong>of</strong>f<br />

from school <strong>and</strong> doing some <strong>of</strong> your favorite winter activities. But<br />

this year life is different: your special person has died <strong>and</strong> isn’t<br />

here with you. Often this season includes exchanging gifts. You<br />

may be hoping for a specific gift or thinking about what to give<br />

a family member. You may have already wrapped a gift for your<br />

special person who is no longer here to open it.<br />

You might try writing a letter to <strong>the</strong> person who died. It can be<br />

made <strong>of</strong> words <strong>and</strong> pictures. Thank <strong>the</strong>m for <strong>the</strong> times you spent<br />

toge<strong>the</strong>r. Ra<strong>the</strong>r than a video game or a new bike, think about<br />

hugs when you were feeling sad, sharing a snack <strong>and</strong> talking, time<br />

spent playing your favorite game, or cuddling with you on <strong>the</strong><br />

couch. Maybe your person taught you how to be a bro<strong>the</strong>r or<br />

sister, how to act during church, how to avoid bullies at school,<br />

or how to make chocolate chip cookies.<br />

Unlike a game or new clo<strong>the</strong>s, you don’t outgrow <strong>the</strong>se gifts:<br />

<strong>the</strong>y will be with you forever. Some times thinking about <strong>the</strong>m will<br />

make you sad. That’s OK, <strong>and</strong> that sadness may seem to last for a<br />

long time. Remembering all that your person gave you is a way to<br />

honor your loved one <strong>and</strong> keep <strong>the</strong>m in your life. It may be hard<br />

to see o<strong>the</strong>r family members missing your person too. Sharing<br />

your lists <strong>of</strong> “gifts” with <strong>the</strong>m may help everyone feel closer <strong>and</strong><br />

encourage <strong>the</strong>m to think about <strong>the</strong> gifts <strong>the</strong>y have received.<br />

Put your letter in an envelope in a special place, in a book you<br />

read toge<strong>the</strong>r or in a drawer with your o<strong>the</strong>r “treasures.” If you are<br />

having a hard day, look at <strong>the</strong> letter. Perhaps write more “thank<br />

yous.” Remember how lucky you were to have <strong>the</strong> person in your<br />

life, even for much too short a time.<br />

You will have times during this season when you are happy <strong>and</strong><br />

enjoying activities. That does not mean you have forgotten your<br />

special person. It’s normal <strong>and</strong> OK to feel happy <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>n sad<br />

for some time to come. We wish you a new year filled with good<br />

memories <strong>and</strong> peace. If you need us, we are here to help.<br />

The Vista Walk Remember Your Loved One<br />

The Vista Walk is <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong>’s memorial garden brick pathway<br />

located on <strong>the</strong> shores <strong>of</strong> Lake Erie at <strong>Hospice</strong> House. Anyone who wishes to<br />

remember <strong>the</strong>ir loved one by purchasing a brick with a special inscription is invited<br />

to call (216) 383-3712 for more information. The Vista Walk at <strong>Hospice</strong> House is<br />

open for meditation <strong>and</strong> reflection.<br />

7


Non-pr<strong>of</strong>it Org.<br />

U.S. Postage<br />

PAID<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH<br />

Permit No. 848<br />

19201 Villaview Road<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong>, Ohio 44119-3064<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> House & Headquarters<br />

300 East 185th Street<br />

Clevel<strong>and</strong>, Ohio 44119-1330<br />

Serving Ashtabula, Cuyahoga, Geauga, Lake, Lorain<br />

<strong>and</strong> Summit Counties with <strong>of</strong>fices throughout.<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> Resale Shop in Lyndhurst<br />

Information: 800-707-8922<br />

<strong>Hospice</strong> Connect: 800-707-8921<br />

hospicewr.org<br />

Find us on:<br />

Go Green! If you would like your copy <strong>of</strong><br />

About <strong>Grief</strong> emailed to you, please send your email address<br />

to Diane Snyder Cowan at DSCowan@<strong>Hospice</strong>WR.org<br />

Copyright 2009 <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong>. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.<br />

The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center is a community-based grief support program that<br />

provides services throughout Nor<strong>the</strong>rn Ohio. We <strong>of</strong>fer support to anyone who has experienced a loss due to death.<br />

Lisa M. Florjancic, MA, LSW<br />

This Thing Called <strong>Grief</strong>—<br />

New Underst<strong>and</strong>ings <strong>of</strong> Loss<br />

By Thomas M. Ellis<br />

As Thomas M. Ellis states in <strong>the</strong> introduction <strong>of</strong> this book, “<strong>Grief</strong><br />

is a crazy-making, complicated process. It is part <strong>of</strong> life’s critical<br />

transitions, its times <strong>of</strong> loss. Losses include not only endings --<br />

dying <strong>and</strong> death -- but also beginnings, which start with grief <strong>and</strong><br />

mourning.” Ellis provides readers practical ways to deal with grief<br />

in a healthy manner.<br />

The author organizes each chapter around personal stories <strong>of</strong><br />

individuals <strong>and</strong> families who have experienced grief. The stories deal<br />

with people experiencing loss through illness as well as loss through<br />

trauma. Each chapter conveys information about <strong>the</strong> impact <strong>of</strong><br />

losses <strong>and</strong> reactions at many levels -- behavioral, cognitive, emotional, physical, <strong>and</strong> spiritual. Ellis discusses misconceptions<br />

associated with grief, unrealistic expectations as well as <strong>the</strong> healing process. He devotes a chapter to complicated responses to<br />

grief <strong>and</strong> how to go about getting help to cope with <strong>the</strong>m.<br />

“This Thing Called <strong>Grief</strong>” is easy to read <strong>and</strong> a good resource for anyone who has experienced a loss through death. The<br />

poems, reflections, <strong>and</strong> resources throughout <strong>the</strong> book provide an added support to those who are grieving. “No one can tell<br />

you how or how not to grieve. Allow yourself <strong>the</strong> time <strong>and</strong> patience your grief dem<strong>and</strong>s.”

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