Grief and the Holidays - Hospice of the Western Reserve
Grief and the Holidays - Hospice of the Western Reserve
Grief and the Holidays - Hospice of the Western Reserve
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A Publication <strong>of</strong> The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
About<br />
<strong>Grief</strong><br />
Volume 20 / No. 4 / Winter 2010<br />
this issue<br />
<strong>Grief</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Holidays</strong><br />
From <strong>the</strong> Editor<br />
Give Yourself Permission to Grieve<br />
Book Review<br />
A Child’s View<br />
EDITOR<br />
Diane Snyder Cowan, MA, MT-BC<br />
Director<br />
VOLUNTEER EDITOR<br />
Thelma Morris<br />
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT<br />
Felicia Dunlop-Stanley<br />
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS<br />
Vicki Jackson, MSW, LISW-S<br />
Bereavement Coordinator<br />
Lisa M. Florjancic, MA, LSW<br />
Bereavement Coordinator<br />
Diana Battles, LISW<br />
Bereavement Coordinator<br />
Susan Lakin, LISW<br />
Pediatric Bereavement Coordinator<br />
<strong>Grief</strong> <strong>and</strong><br />
<strong>the</strong> <strong>Holidays</strong><br />
Vicki Jackson, MSW, LISW-S<br />
The inevitable question asked by bereaved<br />
people at this time <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> year is, “How will<br />
I ever get through <strong>the</strong> holidays?” Whe<strong>the</strong>r<br />
it is <strong>the</strong> first or second holiday season <strong>the</strong>y<br />
face, <strong>the</strong> added strains can create increased<br />
pressure for people already experiencing<br />
<strong>the</strong> intense feelings <strong>of</strong> bereavement. So<br />
how do you “get through” <strong>the</strong>m? There is<br />
no single answer. “Do what is comfortable<br />
for you” can be <strong>the</strong> guiding thought.<br />
During a recent support group for younger<br />
widows <strong>and</strong> widowers, participants<br />
questioned how <strong>the</strong>y will be able to cope.<br />
Conversations at work or with family<br />
<strong>and</strong> friends, <strong>the</strong> media, <strong>and</strong> retail stores<br />
trigger a wide range <strong>of</strong> feelings. The group<br />
shared <strong>the</strong>ir concerns <strong>and</strong> talked about<br />
how <strong>the</strong>y might change certain traditions.<br />
Everyone felt some degree <strong>of</strong> relief as <strong>the</strong>y<br />
realized <strong>the</strong>ir feelings <strong>and</strong> concerns were<br />
understood <strong>and</strong> accepted as normal. The<br />
overall message was one <strong>of</strong> acceptance <strong>and</strong><br />
finding <strong>the</strong> right way for yourself.<br />
For this holiday season please remember a<br />
few points:<br />
• Be aware that your feelings will be<br />
different – realize this is normal <strong>and</strong> be<br />
prepared for emotional ups <strong>and</strong> downs.<br />
• Recognize that <strong>the</strong> holidays will be<br />
different – do what feels comfortable.<br />
Even small changes can be helpful –<br />
maybe purchase gift certificates this year<br />
ra<strong>the</strong>r than deal with <strong>the</strong> large crowds<br />
at shopping malls; attend a different<br />
service in a different location.<br />
• Talk over your plans with <strong>the</strong> family. Try<br />
to respect o<strong>the</strong>r’s choices <strong>and</strong> needs while<br />
preserving your own – compromise as<br />
needed.<br />
• Avoid additional stress. Give yourself a<br />
break. Decide what you really want to<br />
do, <strong>and</strong> make changes where you can –<br />
maybe send no cards this year.<br />
• Do what is right for you <strong>and</strong> encourage<br />
o<strong>the</strong>rs to do <strong>the</strong> same. Lower your<br />
expectations <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> “perfect holiday;” keep<br />
it simple. Acknowledge <strong>the</strong> change while<br />
preserving some sense <strong>of</strong> continuity.<br />
19201 Villaview Road | Clevel<strong>and</strong>, Ohio 44119-3064 | 216-486-6838 | 800-707-8922 | hospicewr.org
from <strong>the</strong> Editor<br />
Diane Snyder Cowan, MA, MT-BC<br />
The <strong>of</strong>ficial start <strong>of</strong> winter is just around <strong>the</strong> corner. We know how gloomy Clevel<strong>and</strong><br />
winters are <strong>and</strong> we know how glitzy <strong>the</strong> holidays can be. With only a h<strong>and</strong>ful <strong>of</strong><br />
sunshiny days, but weeks <strong>and</strong> weeks <strong>of</strong> tinsel <strong>and</strong> glitter in <strong>the</strong> stores, we need to ready<br />
ourselves for a roller coaster <strong>of</strong> emotions. This can be a difficult time whe<strong>the</strong>r it is <strong>the</strong><br />
first year <strong>of</strong> your grief or several years without your loved ones present.<br />
It’s up to you how to best approach <strong>the</strong> season. The winter can be a quiet time <strong>of</strong><br />
reflection <strong>and</strong> introspection. It can be a period in which you review <strong>the</strong> past <strong>and</strong> look<br />
to <strong>the</strong> future. It can be <strong>the</strong> point at which you reinvent your life <strong>and</strong> your roles.<br />
There is a sacredness in tears.<br />
They are not <strong>the</strong> mark <strong>of</strong><br />
weakness, but <strong>of</strong> power. They<br />
speak more eloquently than ten<br />
thous<strong>and</strong> tongues. They are <strong>the</strong><br />
messengers <strong>of</strong> overwhelming<br />
grief, <strong>of</strong> deep contrition,<br />
<strong>and</strong> <strong>of</strong> unspeakable love.<br />
– Washington Irving<br />
On <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r h<strong>and</strong>, <strong>the</strong> holidays can be busy <strong>and</strong> hectic, <strong>and</strong> you may welcome <strong>the</strong>m<br />
as a distraction from your grief. Be careful not to overextend yourself. Make sure<br />
you include an “escape” for whatever plans you make. Drive your own car to that<br />
holiday ga<strong>the</strong>ring so you can leave whenever you wish. Keep expectations realistic<br />
<strong>and</strong> know that you can change your mind at any time. Whatever your choice for this<br />
season, it’s important not to isolate yourself from family <strong>and</strong> friends who can <strong>of</strong>fer<br />
companionship, comfort <strong>and</strong> support.<br />
The bereavement center continues to be here to <strong>of</strong>fer support. In addition to<br />
individual counseling, <strong>the</strong>re are a variety <strong>of</strong> groups <strong>and</strong> healing arts workshops that<br />
you may find beneficial.<br />
We wish for peace in your hearts <strong>and</strong> peace in <strong>the</strong> world.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center is a program <strong>of</strong> <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong><br />
<strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong>, <strong>and</strong> <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> recently joined Facebook,<br />
Twitter <strong>and</strong> LinkedIn. Please follow us on <strong>the</strong>se sites.<br />
Diane Snyder Cowan, MA, MT-BC<br />
(216) 486-6312<br />
dscowan@hospicewr.org<br />
Visit The Bereavement<br />
Center's Blog at:<br />
http://bereavementcenter.blogspot.com<br />
2
Give Yourself Permission To Grieve<br />
Diana Battles, MSW, LISW<br />
Early in <strong>the</strong>ir journey through grief, most people will experience<br />
varying degrees <strong>of</strong> numbness. Commonly, within four to seven<br />
months following <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> a loved one, <strong>the</strong> numbness<br />
begins to lift <strong>and</strong> emotions flood in. Relief, sorrow, anger, guilt,<br />
loneliness <strong>and</strong> regret may emerge. Unfortunately, at <strong>the</strong> time<br />
when one begins to feel engulfed in confusing <strong>and</strong> powerful<br />
emotions, friends <strong>and</strong> family may urge: “It’s been weeks or<br />
months, aren’t you over it yet? Time to pull yourself toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
<strong>and</strong> get on with your life.” Comments like <strong>the</strong>se imply that<br />
unless <strong>the</strong>y jump back into life fairly soon after <strong>the</strong> death,<br />
something is wrong. Many bereaved people are angered <strong>and</strong><br />
shocked that o<strong>the</strong>rs could be so insensitive to <strong>the</strong>ir physical,<br />
emotional <strong>and</strong> social upheaval after <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir loved one.<br />
If only close ones realized that, generally, it takes eighteen to<br />
twenty-four months to find new stability after <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> a<br />
family member. And time is not all that is needed to regain<br />
equilibrium <strong>and</strong> perspective. If you have suffered loss, you<br />
need to give yourself permission to experience <strong>and</strong> express <strong>the</strong><br />
emotions <strong>of</strong> grief in healthy ways. With <strong>the</strong> passage <strong>of</strong> time,<br />
you will be able to find your balance once again.<br />
Each person’s style <strong>of</strong> grieving is unique. Pay attention to<br />
what your own body <strong>and</strong> soul are leading you to do:<br />
• Cry when you need to cry. A good cry can release stress. Let<br />
go <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> bottled up tears that you hold inside: unshed tears<br />
can cause your head <strong>and</strong> stomach to hurt. Scientific studies<br />
have found tears <strong>of</strong> sorrow contain certain chemicals that<br />
are natural pain relievers.<br />
• It’s OK to laugh. Humor is a good stress reliever - <strong>and</strong> it’s<br />
not disrespectful to <strong>the</strong> person who has died. They would<br />
want you to enjoy life’s laughter.<br />
• If you need time alone, take it. Some people prefer to weep<br />
privately or need <strong>the</strong>ir own space to reflect.<br />
• If you need extra sleep, indulge yourself. The emotions <strong>of</strong><br />
grief are draining.<br />
• If you are angry, find healthy outlets. Beat a pillow, scream<br />
in <strong>the</strong> shower, exercise vigorously, participate in sports,<br />
work at physical labor or pound nails.<br />
Address guilty feelings head on. Guilt can immobilize. If<br />
you cannot sort through <strong>the</strong>se feelings with a trusted friend,<br />
consider finding a counselor to help you.<br />
Recognize that <strong>the</strong>re is not one right way to express emotions.<br />
O<strong>the</strong>rs may do it differently than you do. One caution: use<br />
ways that are not destructive or harmful to you or to o<strong>the</strong>rs.<br />
First, pay attention to your feelings. Give <strong>the</strong>m healthy<br />
expression. Powerful emotions don’t just go away. If you bury<br />
<strong>the</strong>m, <strong>the</strong>y may fester, emerging at unexpected times. And it<br />
takes more emotional energy to hold feelings inside than to<br />
express <strong>and</strong> deal with <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
Talk to someone who will listen without judging. It might<br />
be a friend, clergyperson, someone who has experienced a<br />
similar loss or who is far<strong>the</strong>r along on <strong>the</strong>ir journey <strong>of</strong> grief,<br />
a support group or a counselor. A family member could help,<br />
but remember he or she is hurting, too, in a different way,<br />
<strong>and</strong> may not be able to provide <strong>the</strong> unbiased, non-judgmental<br />
listening you need.<br />
Repeat your story as <strong>of</strong>ten as you need to. Much emotion can<br />
be remembered <strong>and</strong> expressed in retelling <strong>the</strong> story <strong>of</strong> your<br />
loved one’s life <strong>and</strong> death.<br />
Keeping a journal or writing letters to your loved one about<br />
your feelings can be <strong>the</strong>rapeutic. A journal can serve as a<br />
tool to store <strong>and</strong> sort out thoughts <strong>and</strong> feelings.<br />
Entries can help you measure progress as you<br />
look back to see where you were emotionally<br />
at earlier points.<br />
The creative arts such as dance, music, drama,<br />
poetry <strong>and</strong> painting can <strong>of</strong>fer healing outlets<br />
for emotional expression.<br />
It is a challenge to give yourself<br />
permission to grieve in our fast paced<br />
culture, which wants you to “get<br />
it over” in a short amount <strong>of</strong> time.<br />
However, if you take <strong>the</strong> time you<br />
need to express your emotions, you<br />
will come to find new perspective,<br />
growth <strong>and</strong> healing.<br />
3
4<br />
Massage Therapy<br />
Providing Comfort Through Touch<br />
Stress is a normal part <strong>of</strong> life. As you move along grief’s<br />
journey, you may face many challenges. Massage <strong>the</strong>rapy is a<br />
tool useful in helping to cope with stress, anxiety <strong>and</strong> fatigue.<br />
To schedule an appointment, call Felicia Dunlop-Stanley<br />
at (216) 486-6335. All appointments will be held at The<br />
Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center.<br />
Basic Fees: $25 for 30 minutes $50 for 60 minutes<br />
Alcoholics Anonymous<br />
Headquarters<br />
Wednesdays, 12:45 pm<br />
For more information, call 216-241-7387<br />
Bereavement Support Groups<br />
Unless o<strong>the</strong>rwise noted, our support groups are open to anyone<br />
who has had a loved one die. Please note, <strong>the</strong> Westlake groups will<br />
be held at St John Medical Center, Community Outreach, 29160<br />
Center Ridge Road, Suite R. Groups are subject to change. Call to<br />
verify time <strong>and</strong> location.<br />
Adult Support Groups<br />
Winter 2010/2011<br />
Community<br />
Support Groups<br />
& Activities<br />
CIRCLE OF hope SERIES<br />
A six-week educational support class for adults who have<br />
had a loved one die. Registration is required. Please call <strong>the</strong><br />
facilitator listed below for more information or to register.<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> Headquarters<br />
Wednesdays, Mar. 2 – Apr. 6, 10:00 to 11:30 a.m.<br />
Diana Battles (216) 486-6364<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> Headquarters<br />
Mondays, Jan. 24 – Feb. 28, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />
Tensie Holl<strong>and</strong> (216) 383-3741<br />
Lakewood Office<br />
Mondays, Jan. 17 – Feb. 21, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />
Mentor Office<br />
Mondays, Jan. 17 – Feb. 21, 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.<br />
Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />
Warrensville Heights Office<br />
Tuesdays, Jan. 4 – Feb. 8, 5:00 to 6:30 p.m.<br />
Vicki Jackson 383-3737 ext. 3200<br />
Lorain Office<br />
Wednesdays, Feb. 2 – Mar. 9, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
Laurie Mason (440) 787-2099<br />
parenTS TOGETHER<br />
A support group for parents coping with <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> an adult<br />
child. Registration is required.<br />
Lakewood Office<br />
Wednesdays, Feb. 2 – Feb. 23, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />
Warrensville Heights Office<br />
Thursdays, Feb. 3 – Feb. 24, 2:00 to 3:30 p.m.<br />
Vicki Jackson 383-3737 ext. 3200<br />
hope & HEALING<br />
An on-going monthly support group for grieving adults.<br />
Registration is not required. Please call facilitator for more<br />
information.<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> Headquarters<br />
3 rd Monday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
April Ratcliffe (216) 383-3782<br />
Warrensville Heights Office<br />
4 th Wednesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 3:00 to 4:30 p.m.<br />
Joan Tabaj (216) 383-3737 ext. 3105<br />
Mentor Office<br />
1 st Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:00 p.m.<br />
Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />
FOR THE young ADULT (20’s)<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
3 rd Wednesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Diana Battles (216) 486-6364<br />
BRANCHES OF hope<br />
A series for adults who have experienced <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> both<br />
parents. This group will help you move forward while<br />
honoring your parents’ memory <strong>and</strong> identifying <strong>the</strong>ir gifts<br />
to you. Registration is required.<br />
Westlake<br />
Tuesdays, Feb 15 - March 22, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />
29160 Center Ridge Dr, Suite R<br />
JoDee Coulter (216) 383-3737 ext 3440<br />
Bereavement Etiquette<br />
(Supporting <strong>the</strong> Grieving Person)<br />
Supporting someone who is grieving can be challenging. You<br />
have good intentions but can’t find <strong>the</strong> “right” thing to say. Join<br />
us for a group discussion on supporting a grieving person, where<br />
you will get practical tips <strong>and</strong> gain insight into being helpful.<br />
Mentor Office<br />
Thursday, Feb. 10, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />
hopeFUL HEARTS<br />
<strong>Grief</strong> support for anyone age 60 <strong>and</strong> over who has experienced<br />
<strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> someone special.<br />
4 th Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />
Holy Spirit Family Center, 410 Lear Road, Avon Lake, OH<br />
JoDee Coulter (216) 383-3737 ext. 3440
PARENT loss<br />
A monthly group for adults adjusting to life after <strong>the</strong> death<br />
<strong>of</strong> a parent.<br />
Lakewood Office<br />
2 nd Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />
SIBLINGS group “New Group”<br />
A four-week group for adults who have experienced <strong>the</strong> death<br />
<strong>of</strong> a sibling.<br />
Lakewood Office<br />
Mondays, Nov. 1 – Nov. 22, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />
Spousal Loss Groups<br />
NEW BEGINNINGS<br />
A monthly support group for young widows <strong>and</strong> widowers<br />
(ages 55 <strong>and</strong> younger). This group is open-ended <strong>and</strong><br />
on-going. Registration is not required.<br />
Westlake<br />
St John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />
29160 Center Ridge Road, Suite R<br />
2 nd Wednesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
JoDee Coulter (216) 383-3737 ext. 3440<br />
Warrensville Heights Office<br />
1 st Monday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
Vicki Jackson (216) 383-3737 ext. 3200<br />
NEW JOURNEY<br />
A support group for widows <strong>and</strong> widowers <strong>of</strong> any age,<br />
adjusting to life without <strong>the</strong>ir spouse. This group is open<br />
ended <strong>and</strong> on-going. Registration is not required.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
2 nd Thursday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 10:00 to 11:30 a.m.<br />
Diana Battles (216) 486-6364<br />
Ashtabula Office<br />
2 nd Thursday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
Martie Dixon (440) 997-6619<br />
HORIZONS<br />
A monthly support group for <strong>the</strong> older adult widow<br />
<strong>and</strong> widower. This group is open ended <strong>and</strong> on-going.<br />
Mayfield Village Baptist Church<br />
6500 Highl<strong>and</strong> Road, Mayfield<br />
2 nd Tuesday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />
Kathryn Harrison (216) 486-6331<br />
Lakewood<br />
1381 Bunts Road, Lakewood, 4th floor<br />
2 nd Monday <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> month, 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.<br />
Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />
FABRIC AND FEELINGS<br />
A weekly group where participants use fabric techniques such<br />
as quilting (sometimes involving clothing from loved ones) or<br />
photo transfer to create quilts, pillows, dolls <strong>and</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r types <strong>of</strong><br />
lasting memories. Sewing expertise is not necessary.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
Thursdays, 2:00 to 4:00 p.m.<br />
Mollie Postotnik (216) 486-6544<br />
Children <strong>and</strong> Family Support Groups<br />
S.T.A.R.S. (Supporting Tears, Anger, Remembrance & Sadness)<br />
A six-week support group for grieving children ages 6-12.<br />
While <strong>the</strong> children are meeting, <strong>the</strong>re is an adult support group<br />
to assist parents <strong>and</strong> family members in dealing with <strong>the</strong>ir own<br />
grief. The groups are free <strong>and</strong> open to <strong>the</strong> public. Registration<br />
is required.<br />
Mentor Office<br />
Mondays, Jan. 10 – Feb. 14, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
Molly Kohut (216) 486-6275<br />
helping HANDS/HEALING HEARTS<br />
A monthly support group for children ages 6-13 <strong>and</strong> adults, who<br />
have experienced <strong>the</strong> death <strong>of</strong> a loved one. While <strong>the</strong> adults are<br />
meeting, <strong>the</strong>re is a co-existing support group for <strong>the</strong> children.<br />
Registration is not required.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
3 rd Tuesday <strong>of</strong> each month, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Colleen Thompson (216) 486-6316<br />
Support Groups Continued on Page 6 >><br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong> oFFice Locations<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss<br />
Bereavement Center<br />
19201 Villaview Road<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44119-3064<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> House & Headquarters<br />
300 East 185th Street<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44119-1330<br />
Ashtabula Office<br />
1166 Lake Avenue<br />
Ashtabula, OH 44004-2930<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong> Office<br />
19201 Villaview Road<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44119-3064<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> Care Center<br />
26376 John Road<br />
Olmsted Falls, OH 44138<br />
Lorain County Office<br />
2173 N. Ridge Road E.<br />
Suite H<br />
Lorain, OH 44055-3400<br />
Lakewood Office<br />
14601 Detroit Avenue<br />
Suite 100<br />
Lakewood, OH 44107-4214<br />
Mentor Office<br />
5786 Heisley Road<br />
Mentor, OH 44060-1830<br />
University Circle Office<br />
10645 Euclid Avenue<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH 44106-2206<br />
Summit County Office<br />
150 Springside Drive, Suite A-100<br />
Fairlawn, OH 44334<br />
Warrensville Heights Office<br />
4670 Richmond Road, Suite 200<br />
Warrensville Hts, OH 44128-5978<br />
Westlake Office<br />
29101 Health Campus Drive<br />
Building 2, Suite 400<br />
Westlake, OH 44145-5268<br />
5
6<br />
Holiday Programs<br />
HOLIDAY FAMILY NIGHT<br />
Ashtabula Office<br />
Wednesday, Dec. 15, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Molly Kohut (216) 486-6275<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
Monday, Dec. 13, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Felicia Dunlop-Stanley (216) 486-6335<br />
Lorain Office<br />
Monday, Dec. 6, 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Laurie Mason (440) 787-2099<br />
hope FOR THE HOLIDAYS<br />
An adult bereavement group providing techniques, dialog<br />
<strong>and</strong> support for those grieving through <strong>the</strong> holiday<br />
season. Registration is required.<br />
Mentor Office<br />
Thursday, Dec. 16, 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.<br />
Lisa Florjancic (216) 383-3737 ext. 3041<br />
planning FOR THE HOLIDAYS<br />
Adults - come to one or both sessions for discussion,<br />
support <strong>and</strong> hints for getting through <strong>the</strong> holidays.<br />
Registration is required. Light refreshments will be<br />
served. (Registration Deadlines: 11/10/10.for November<br />
group <strong>and</strong> 12/8/10 for December group.)<br />
Lakewood Office<br />
Wednesdays, Nov. 17 & Dec 15, 6:30 to 8:00 p.m.<br />
Judy Beckman (216) 383-3737 ext. 3110<br />
Healing Arts Workshops, Winter 2010<br />
Healing Arts Workshops provide grieving people with a creative<br />
outlet for <strong>the</strong>ir grief <strong>and</strong> are open to all grieving people. No<br />
art experience is necessary. Call Mollie Postotnik at (216)<br />
486-6544 to register no later than four days in advance <strong>of</strong><br />
workshop date.<br />
Memory Wreaths<br />
Decorate a grapevine wreath, symbolizing<br />
unbroken life <strong>and</strong> love, with personal<br />
<strong>and</strong> seasonal symbols, as well as wishes,<br />
memories <strong>and</strong> prayers.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss<br />
Bereavement Center<br />
Thursday, Dec. 9, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />
29160 Center Ridge Rd., Suite R, Group Room D<br />
Tuesday, Dec. 14, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
Comfort | Hope | Healing<br />
Celebrate Their Light<br />
In this workshop, participants will decorate a<br />
c<strong>and</strong>le holder to remember <strong>the</strong> light that our<br />
loved ones brought into our lives. There will<br />
also be a c<strong>and</strong>lelight ceremony to honor <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
Thursday, Jan. 13, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />
29160 Center Ridge Rd., Suite R, Group Room D<br />
Tuesday, Jan. 18, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
Warrensville Heights Office<br />
Wednesday, Jan. 26, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
Healing Our Hearts<br />
Using felt <strong>and</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r fabrics, we will create<br />
a small heart “pillow” that is sewn toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
with love, mended with hope <strong>and</strong> stuffed<br />
with thoughts, memories <strong>and</strong> prayers. No<br />
sewing experience is necessary.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
Thursday, Feb. 3, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
St. John Medical Center, Community Outreach<br />
29160 Center Ridge Rd., Suite R, Group Room D<br />
Tuesday, Feb. 8, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
Art for Relaxation:<br />
Winterscapes<br />
Winter is a time <strong>of</strong> hibernation, inactivity <strong>and</strong><br />
dormancy. Hope <strong>and</strong> growth lie dormant,<br />
just under <strong>the</strong> surface. What is lying dormant<br />
in you? Use watercolors or acrylics to paint a<br />
winter scene from a photograph, calendar, or<br />
simply let your imagination create a winterscape scene.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
Thursday, Feb. 17, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
Warrensville Heights Office<br />
Wednesday, Feb. 23, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
Save <strong>the</strong> Date!<br />
Burden Bowls<br />
<strong>Grief</strong> is only a part <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> burdens that bereaved<br />
persons bear. In this workshop, participants will<br />
create a bowl with clay <strong>and</strong> write <strong>the</strong>ir burdens<br />
on stones that can be <strong>the</strong>n placed in <strong>the</strong> bowl.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center<br />
Thursday, Mar. 3 & 10, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.<br />
St. John Medical Center<br />
29101 Health Campus Dr., Bldg 2, Suite 455<br />
Westlake, OH 44145<br />
Tuesday, Mar. 8 & 15, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.
A Child's View<br />
Susan Lakin, LISW<br />
The holiday season has begun. You’re looking forward to time <strong>of</strong>f<br />
from school <strong>and</strong> doing some <strong>of</strong> your favorite winter activities. But<br />
this year life is different: your special person has died <strong>and</strong> isn’t<br />
here with you. Often this season includes exchanging gifts. You<br />
may be hoping for a specific gift or thinking about what to give<br />
a family member. You may have already wrapped a gift for your<br />
special person who is no longer here to open it.<br />
You might try writing a letter to <strong>the</strong> person who died. It can be<br />
made <strong>of</strong> words <strong>and</strong> pictures. Thank <strong>the</strong>m for <strong>the</strong> times you spent<br />
toge<strong>the</strong>r. Ra<strong>the</strong>r than a video game or a new bike, think about<br />
hugs when you were feeling sad, sharing a snack <strong>and</strong> talking, time<br />
spent playing your favorite game, or cuddling with you on <strong>the</strong><br />
couch. Maybe your person taught you how to be a bro<strong>the</strong>r or<br />
sister, how to act during church, how to avoid bullies at school,<br />
or how to make chocolate chip cookies.<br />
Unlike a game or new clo<strong>the</strong>s, you don’t outgrow <strong>the</strong>se gifts:<br />
<strong>the</strong>y will be with you forever. Some times thinking about <strong>the</strong>m will<br />
make you sad. That’s OK, <strong>and</strong> that sadness may seem to last for a<br />
long time. Remembering all that your person gave you is a way to<br />
honor your loved one <strong>and</strong> keep <strong>the</strong>m in your life. It may be hard<br />
to see o<strong>the</strong>r family members missing your person too. Sharing<br />
your lists <strong>of</strong> “gifts” with <strong>the</strong>m may help everyone feel closer <strong>and</strong><br />
encourage <strong>the</strong>m to think about <strong>the</strong> gifts <strong>the</strong>y have received.<br />
Put your letter in an envelope in a special place, in a book you<br />
read toge<strong>the</strong>r or in a drawer with your o<strong>the</strong>r “treasures.” If you are<br />
having a hard day, look at <strong>the</strong> letter. Perhaps write more “thank<br />
yous.” Remember how lucky you were to have <strong>the</strong> person in your<br />
life, even for much too short a time.<br />
You will have times during this season when you are happy <strong>and</strong><br />
enjoying activities. That does not mean you have forgotten your<br />
special person. It’s normal <strong>and</strong> OK to feel happy <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>n sad<br />
for some time to come. We wish you a new year filled with good<br />
memories <strong>and</strong> peace. If you need us, we are here to help.<br />
The Vista Walk Remember Your Loved One<br />
The Vista Walk is <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong>’s memorial garden brick pathway<br />
located on <strong>the</strong> shores <strong>of</strong> Lake Erie at <strong>Hospice</strong> House. Anyone who wishes to<br />
remember <strong>the</strong>ir loved one by purchasing a brick with a special inscription is invited<br />
to call (216) 383-3712 for more information. The Vista Walk at <strong>Hospice</strong> House is<br />
open for meditation <strong>and</strong> reflection.<br />
7
Non-pr<strong>of</strong>it Org.<br />
U.S. Postage<br />
PAID<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong>, OH<br />
Permit No. 848<br />
19201 Villaview Road<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong>, Ohio 44119-3064<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> House & Headquarters<br />
300 East 185th Street<br />
Clevel<strong>and</strong>, Ohio 44119-1330<br />
Serving Ashtabula, Cuyahoga, Geauga, Lake, Lorain<br />
<strong>and</strong> Summit Counties with <strong>of</strong>fices throughout.<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> Resale Shop in Lyndhurst<br />
Information: 800-707-8922<br />
<strong>Hospice</strong> Connect: 800-707-8921<br />
hospicewr.org<br />
Find us on:<br />
Go Green! If you would like your copy <strong>of</strong><br />
About <strong>Grief</strong> emailed to you, please send your email address<br />
to Diane Snyder Cowan at DSCowan@<strong>Hospice</strong>WR.org<br />
Copyright 2009 <strong>Hospice</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Western</strong> <strong>Reserve</strong>. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.<br />
The Elisabeth Severance Prentiss Bereavement Center is a community-based grief support program that<br />
provides services throughout Nor<strong>the</strong>rn Ohio. We <strong>of</strong>fer support to anyone who has experienced a loss due to death.<br />
Lisa M. Florjancic, MA, LSW<br />
This Thing Called <strong>Grief</strong>—<br />
New Underst<strong>and</strong>ings <strong>of</strong> Loss<br />
By Thomas M. Ellis<br />
As Thomas M. Ellis states in <strong>the</strong> introduction <strong>of</strong> this book, “<strong>Grief</strong><br />
is a crazy-making, complicated process. It is part <strong>of</strong> life’s critical<br />
transitions, its times <strong>of</strong> loss. Losses include not only endings --<br />
dying <strong>and</strong> death -- but also beginnings, which start with grief <strong>and</strong><br />
mourning.” Ellis provides readers practical ways to deal with grief<br />
in a healthy manner.<br />
The author organizes each chapter around personal stories <strong>of</strong><br />
individuals <strong>and</strong> families who have experienced grief. The stories deal<br />
with people experiencing loss through illness as well as loss through<br />
trauma. Each chapter conveys information about <strong>the</strong> impact <strong>of</strong><br />
losses <strong>and</strong> reactions at many levels -- behavioral, cognitive, emotional, physical, <strong>and</strong> spiritual. Ellis discusses misconceptions<br />
associated with grief, unrealistic expectations as well as <strong>the</strong> healing process. He devotes a chapter to complicated responses to<br />
grief <strong>and</strong> how to go about getting help to cope with <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
“This Thing Called <strong>Grief</strong>” is easy to read <strong>and</strong> a good resource for anyone who has experienced a loss through death. The<br />
poems, reflections, <strong>and</strong> resources throughout <strong>the</strong> book provide an added support to those who are grieving. “No one can tell<br />
you how or how not to grieve. Allow yourself <strong>the</strong> time <strong>and</strong> patience your grief dem<strong>and</strong>s.”