Communicating with your Athletes - ArbiterSports

COMMUNICATION 

Taken from Successful Coaching by Rainer Martens

Communication 

• Two dimensions of 

Communication 

• Six Steps of Communication 

• Sending and Receiving Messages 

– Sender/receiver failures 

• Communication Styles 

• Developing Skills 

• Confrontation

Communication 

• Two Dimensions of 

Communication 

– Sending and receiving messages 

– Verbal and nonverbal messages 

• Content (verbal) and emotion 

(nonverbal)

Six Steps of Communication 

Have a 

thought 

Response 

to 

message 

Thought 

to 

message 

Interpret 

message 

Transmit 

message 

Receives 

message

Communication 

• Sending Messages 

– Use eye contact 

– Avoid potential distractions 

– Reduce comments 

– Check for understanding 

• Receiving messages 

– Blocks to effective listening 

• Asking too many questions 

• Giving advice 

• Being judgmental 

• Agreeing or disagreeing 

• Using clichés

Communication 

• Communication breakdowns 

– Sender failures 

• Contradictory messages 

• Verbal vs. nonverbal messages 

– Receiver failures 

• Misinterpreting messages 

• Failure to listen

Communication 

• Why Communication is 

Sometimes Ineffective 

– Stress 

– Passion 

– Importance 

– The receiver

Communication 

• Command-Style Communication 

– Aggressive ordering 

– Intimidating body language 

– Do most of the talking 

– Accuse and blame 

– Little listening 

– Shouting and attacking person 

– May be successful for the short 

term

Communication 

• Submissive Style Communication 

– Allows others to dominate the 

conversation 

– Seldom express own viewpoints 

– Tend to express agreement 

– Uncertain 

– Avoids eye contact 

– Avoids difficult issues 

– Hates confrontations and conflict

Communication 

• Cooperative-Style Communication 

– Straightforward 

– Positive 

– Takes initiative 

– Direct and constructive 

– Good listeners 

– Focus on moving the team forward 

in a positive way

Communication 

• Developing Your 

Communication Skills 

– Communicate with a positive 

approach 

• Provide honest, direct, and constructive 

messages 

• Avoid sarcasms and put downs 

• Don’t sugarcoat the situation 

• Respond to questions not statements

Communication 



– Communicate with a positive 

approach 

• 3 Reasons some use the negative 

approach: 

1. HABIT of using the negative approach 

2. Unrealistic expectations 

3. Short term success

Communication 



– Developing credibility 

• Use a cooperative style 

• Be knowledgeable/honest 

• Be reliable, fair and consistent 

• Express warmth, friendliness, 

acceptance, empathy 

• Be dynamic, spontaneous, open 

• Remain calm under pressure 

• Use a positive approach

Communication 



– Send messages high in 

information 

• Provide specific information when 

answering questions 

• Be certain you understand the reasons 

for a person’s action before you judge 

their behavior 

• Focus on the behaviors not on the 

person

Communication 



– Communicating with consistency 

• Follow through with what you say 

• Avoid/discourage meaningless 

conversation 

• Develop a sense of trust by being 

consistent

Communication 



– Learning how to listen 

• Show that you are interested in listening 

and trying to understand 

• Check that you understand by repeating 

message 

• Express empathy, not sympathy

Communication 



– Categories of nonverbal 

communication 

• Body motion 

• Physical characteristics 

• Touching behavior 

• Voice characteristics 

• Body position

Communication 



– Improving your nonverbal 

communication 

• Recognize how much of what you 

communicate is in the form of nonverbal 

messages 

• Send and receive messages effectively 

by using and reading body position, 

body motion, voice characteristics 

• Remember- what you do speaks louder 

than what you say

Communication 

• Confrontation 

– Identify the problem 

– Stop and think before acting 

– Understand the other person’s 

perspective 

– Use an assertive style of 

confrontation 

• Own your own messages 

• Use supportive messages 

• State your needs

COMMUNICATION 

SPECIFIC TO 

GAME 

PARTICIPANTS

Communicating With… 

Game Participants 

• How do we effectively 

communicate with: 

– Head Coaches 

– Assistant Coaches 

– Players 

– Partners 

– Others: Table Personnel, Game 

Management, Trainers, Managers, 

Officials’ Liaisons, etc.


Others 

• Always be professional 

• Don’t be OVERLY friendly 

• Don’t be high maintenance 

• Make requests – NOT demands 

• Everybody’s job is important 

• No one wants to hear where you 

were last night or your travel 

woes 

• The WALLS have EARS!


Partners 

• Try to go into every game with 

positive thoughts about partners 

• BE inclusive 

• Don’t talk about one partner to 

the other during the game 

• Develop the skill of how to have 

difficult conversations – don’t 

ignore this part of partnering


Partners 

Instead of 

saying… 

“You 

missed that 

call.” 

Try saying… 

“Let’s talk 

about that last 

play. Tell me 

what you 

saw.”


Partners 

Instead of 

saying… 

“You are 

not calling 

the same 

game as the 

two of us.” 

Try saying… 

“We as a crew 

don’t appear 

to be on the 

same page; 

how can we 

fix that?”


Partners 

Instead of 

saying… 

“You are 

talking way 

too much to 

the 

coaches.” 

Try saying… 

“We need to be 

mindful of how 

much we talk to 

the coaches; 

our actions 

might be 

misinterpreted.”


Partners 

• Time may not permit extended 

conversations 

• Don’t be confrontational on the 

court – if a “spirited” 

conversation is needed – take it 

to the locker room 

• The game is the most important 

thing!


Players 

• Always be professional – say 

“please” and “thank you” 

• Use gender-neutral language 

– NO: “girls,” “sweetie,” “honey” or 

“doll” 

– Avoid: “ladies” 

– Try “players” or no reference at all 

• Find a balance between friendly 

and authoritative


Players 

• Certain non-basketball behaviors 

must be addressed – Ignoring is 

not an option 

• Different situations call for 

different types of responses/ 

communication – verbal and 

non-verbal


Players 

• Types of responses: 

– Observe 

– Step in and be present 

– Step in and actively diffuse 

– Seek out and confront/warn 

– Assess penalty


Players 

• Observe (non-verbal): 

– Team huddles 

– Celebrations – player or team 

• Step in and be present (nonverbal): 

– Held balls 

– Adjacent team huddles 

– Celebrations near opponent


Players 

• Step in and actively diffuse 

(both): 

– Moderately contentious held balls 

– Overlapping team huddles 

– Celebration next to an opponent


Players 

• Seek out and confront/warn 

(both): 

– Very contentious held balls 

– Celebration could be directed at 

opponent 

– Ball slammed down and caught 

– Ball put on floor in defiance and 

not given to official 

– Discussion with official or 

opponent approaches unsporting


Players 

• Assess penalty (both): 

– Overt celebration at opponent; 

finger pointing; obscene gesture 

(taunt) 

– Ball slammed to floor and 

rebounds skyward 

– Pushing, shoving, etc. 

– Using profanity, etc. 

– Rule 10-3.1


Assistant Coaches 

• Check your attitude – Asst. 

coaches are people too! 

• Our future Head Coaches! 

• Don’t completely ignore 

• Work through head coach if 

communication becomes 

excessive, distracting or 

inappropriate 

• Warn and penalize appropriately


Head Coaches 

• Remember about coaches: 

– Inherently biased 

– Inherently emotional 

– Having a bias and being emotional 

can lead to irrational behaviors 

– When they ask a question – 

sometimes they actually want an 

answer 

– Some may not want to hear 

anything you have to say


Head Coaches 

• Remember about coaches: 

– Coaches are ENGAGED in (and 

maybe OBSESSED with) obtaining 

a specific DESIRED OUTCOME… 

– WINNING!


Head Coaches 

• Coaches & officials typically 

have an adversarial relationship 

• Coaches don’t always hear what 

we are trying to tell them 

(verbals) 

• Coaches don’t always see what 

we are trying to convey (nonverbals)


Head Coaches – VERBALS 

When we 

say… 

“I thought I 

saw your 

player do 

x…y…z.” 

They hear… 

“I really have 

no clue what 

just 

happened.”



When we 

say… 

“That’s not 

in my area, I 

can’t call 

that.” 

They hear… 

“I’m really not 

paying 

attention.”



When we 

say… 

“I got 

blocked out 

on the 

play.” 

They hear… 

“I missed it 

because I 

was out of 

position.”



When we 

say… 

“GET IN 

YOUR 

BOX!” 

“SHUT-UP 

AND SIT 

DOWN!” 

They hear… 

“GET IN 

YOUR 

BOX!” 

“SHUT-UP 

AND SIT 

DOWN!”



When we 

say… 

“It’s a 20- 

point game, 

we’re not 

calling 

that.” 

They hear… 

“The game is 

over, I’ve put 

my whistle 

away.”



• Preferred statements: 

– “I saw the play this way…” 

– “I didn’t see the play you’re talking 

about, I was watching this matchup.” 

– “My partner was on that play and 

will tell you what they saw when 

they are over here or during the next 

dead ball.”



• Preferred statements: 

– “Coach, I need you to stay in your 

box tonight. This is your one 

warning….stay in there for me.” 

– “What are you seeing that 

I’m/we’re missing?”



• Verbal communication tips: 

– Do NOT tell a coach to “shut-up” or 

“sit down” – they don’t have to 

– Do NOT comment on the point 

differential 

– Be professional at all times 

– Keep responses brief 

– Do not initiate conversation 

– Respond to questions – not 

statements




– Do not use sarcasm – it will backfire 

– Be honest – don’t be afraid to admit 

a mistake (once!) 

– Know your audience/self 

– Avoid engaging in small talk or 

fraternizing 

• Coach may be trying to gain an 

advantage over opponent 

• “Working” official




– Selling your partners out doesn’t 

make them LIKE you any better 

– When possible, give explanations 

using rule-book language 

• Avoid officiating vernacular 

• The rule book will keep you out of 

trouble



• Rule-book language examples: 

– “The ball is not dead until the try 

ends.” 

– “All she has to do is begin the 

motion that habitually precedes the 

release of the ball.” 

– “The pivot foot was lifted before 

the ball was released to start the 

dribble.”

Communicating With…Head 

Coaches – NON-VERBALS 

When we… 

Jog rather 

than sprint 

Sauntering 

rather than 

walking with 

a purpose 

They see… 

Can’t keep up, 

game has 

passed you by 

An attitude, 

we don’t want 

to be there

Communicating With… Head 


When we… 

Smile too 

much 

Never smile 

Arms 

crossed in 

front or on 

hips 

They see… 

We don’t take 

this seriously 

Irritable, too 

serious, no 

personality 

Defensive, 

unapproachable



When we… 

Frequently 

talk to 

partners 

Never talk to 

partners 

They see… 

We are 

distracted, 

unsure, 

conspiring 

Not a team 

player, don’t 

need and/or like 

partners



When we… 

Take every 

double 

whistle 

Give up every 

double 

whistle 

They see… 

Domineering, 

trying to take 

over the game 

Too passive, 

not confident, 

unsure of calls



When we… 

Have weak 

signals 

Have overly 

dramatic or 

emphatic 

signals 

They see… 

In over your 

head, timid, 

unsure of self 

You are the 

show and want 

everyone to 

look at you



When we… 

Frequently 

talk to the 

opposing 

bench 

Constantly 

avoid bench 

areas 

They see… 

You like them 

better, you are 

CHEATING 

No spine, 

paranoid, 

unapproachable



• Non-verbal communication tips: 

– Be aware of your body language 

when you speak or stand 

– Convey strength by: 

• Using sharp signals 

• Walking with purpose 

– Improve conditioning levels 

– Maintain your humanity, but do it 

professionally


Game Participants 

• Enhancing our communication skills 

– both verbal and non-verbal: 

– Makes for a smoothly and 

effectively conducted contest 

– Gives participants a sense that the 

game is under control and is being 

conducted fairly 

– Provides a better experience for all 

game participants

How do we respond? 

Coach says… 

• “The foul count is 7 to 1!” 

• “Look down there, why is your 

partner talking to Coach X, AGAIN?” 

• “Are you guys going to call 

traveling at all tonight?” 

• “Are you related to Tim Donaghy?” 

• “You must be on the take like that 

NBA guy!”

OTHER HELPFUL 

COMMUNICATION 

TIPS OR 

TECHNIQUES?

Communicating with your Athletes - ArbiterSports

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