Issue 1250

www.thecourieronline.co.uk 

Monday 30 April 2012 

Issue 1250 

Free 

Violence 

and theft 

on campus 

By George Sandeman 

News Editor 

Two men and a woman were arrested 

after trying to steal a student’s motorcycle. 

A 17-year-old man remains on police 

bail whilst a 16-year-old man has been 

charged with criminal damage and is 

due to appear before Newcastle Magistrates’ 

Court on 15 May. 

They were apprehended on 22 March 

by the University Security team after attempting 

to steal a red Honda motorcycle 

secured beside Merz Court. 

The three criminals were held after 

initially being spotted on CCTV trying 

to cut the securing chain with a pair of 

bolt cutters. 

However, security’s initial attempt 

to arrest the three was unsuccessful as 

a scuffle ensued leading to one of the 

males swinging at a security officer with 

the bolt cutters. The offenders then fled 

into nearby Exhibition Park with security 

officers giving chase and eventually 

detaining the individuals before handing 

them over to Northumbria Police. 

As a thank you gesture the owner of the 

motorcycle gave the two security officers 

involved 20 cans of beer. 

In addition, the security team has 

helped to arrest three bicycle thieves, 

including two at the Robinson Library 

who attempted to steal a student’s wheel, 

and one male armed with bolt cutters 

outside the Paul O’Gorman Building 

beside Richardson Road. 

The security team also investigated 

reports of cannabis smoke in Windsor 

Terrace that led to the arrest of a 

male student and his guest. They were 

found with a quantity of cannabis and a 

grinder and were given formal cannabis 

warnings by the police. 

In addition, upon further investigation 

of the flat, the fire alarm was found 

to have been covered by a condom, 

which is deemed dangerous by the University 

as it threatens to endanger the 

lives of other residents in the event of 

a real fire. 

Police presence was further felt last 

Wednesday morning when three young 

men were stopped and searched by 

horse-mounted officers. CCTV operators 

noticed the trio’s suspicious behaviour 

concerning locked bicycles but 

they were later released without charge. 

Outisde Claremont Tower the day Xijia Zhang fell to her death Photography: Susie Beever 

Festival Special 

• Parklife • Leeds • Latitude • Bestival • Benicassim 

• What to wear • Health • Beauty 

Uni must react 

to international 

student deaths 

Goodbye text sent to mum 

• before fall from Claremont Tower 

Body found on Tyne mudflats 

• identified as third-year Hasan Albash 

By Kat Bannon Editor and 

George Sandeman News Editor 

There are concerns that the University 

has not reacted satisfactorily to the tragic 

deaths of two international students. 

On 5 December, Chinese student Xijia 

Zhang fell to her death from Claremont 

Tower. 

At her inquest, which took place last 

week, it was heard that she deliberately 

took her own life, sending a goodbye 

text to her mother moments before 

plummeting from the University building. 

A few weeks after this incident, on 

New Year’s Eve, 21-year-old Marketing 

and Management student Hasan 

Albash, from Bahrain, was believed to 

have been seen throwing himself from 

the Tyne Bridge. 

In February, his body was found 

washed up on the mudflats in the River 

Tyne. 

These two incidents throw light on the 

experience of international students at 

Newcastle, and question whether the 

University is doing enough to ensure 

they are supported and happy during 

their time here. 

Dr. Alison Oldam, head of the Student 

Wellbeing Service said: “All our 

staff and students have been saddened 

by these tragic incidents, and every support 

possible has been given to all those 

affected. 

“We consider the health and wellbeing 

of all our students as a priority but 

particularly our international students, 

who we recognise face particular issues 

studying away from home.” 

In the immediate aftermath of Xijia’s 

death, the Wellbeing service worked to 

ensure all those who had been affected 

by the incident received appropriate 

counselling and support. Also, meetings 

were held between the University and 

students to establish a working group 

in order to “hash out ideas about how 

things could be improved [for international 

students]”. 

However, Ben Giles, academic representative 

of Societies Exec, voiced 

his concerns that although there was 

a “good push” at the beginning for 

change, the “urgency died out a lot.” 

It was intended that the working 

group would include representatives 

from Welfare, the Anglo-Chinese society, 

the Chinese Student Scholars Association 

and possibly the Students’ Union 

in the form of the President. It was also 

the intention that it would invite other 

members of the university to attend depending 

upon what action was needed 

to be made, for example from the Accommodation 

sector. 

A number of ideas surfaced during 

the initial meetings, which included 

establishing a more structured ‘buddy’ 

system, Chinese-speaking councillors, 

and improving the staff understanding 

of the pressures international students 

face whilst at Newcastle. 

However, according to Giles, these 

plans failed to be implemented due to a 

“lack of drive from the Uni”. 

“Because this happened just before the 

holidays, the urgency was very in your 

face so everyone was getting very on top 

of it. But then after the holidays it just 

died a death. That’s the real frustration 

that I personally have. 

“The urgency is gone and so they [the 

University] don’t really feel like it’s 

continued on page 4

2 

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5 

9 

COMMENT 

LORDS REFORM 

STOP THE PARTY 

SPORT 

11 

12 

46 


Th eCourier 

Editors: Wills Robinson and George Sandeman 

Online News Editor: Helen Lam 

courier.news@ncl.ac.uk 

Catering losses mean staff redundancies 

By Laura Wotton and 

Harriet Sale 

PRINGLE’S FLAME 

All a hop, 

41 

303 

a skip and 

256 

a jump for 

Torch bearer 

AU BALL 

£89,072 

The University catering department is 

set to make a number of redundancies 

and reductions in staff hours as part of 

new cost-cutting initiatives. 

This comes following substantial loses 

incurred by various catering outlets 

around campus in the past year. 

From September, 25,000 working 

hours will be cut throughout campus, 

as vacation shifts are set to be reduced. 

This year Henderson Hall scrapped 

its status as a catered hall of residence. 

Similarly Castle Leazes, The Forum and 

Bistro have reverted to solely term-time 

catering operations, meaning that certain 

members of staff previously on a 

52-week contract will now only work 

34-weeks a year. 

The revision of catering departments 

of various units across campus by senior 

management has been taking place 

for the last two years. In the attempt to 

create a more agile and sustainable business, 

the University’s senior management 

is initiating various cost cutting 

initiatives to induce a more financially 

viable system that means staff jobs are 

potentially at risk. 

The implications of this review mean 

that a number of staff will succumb to 

a shortened number of employment 

hours. Yet the scheme managers are set 

upon justifying the potential for compulsory 

redundancy. As of mid-April 

they will be offering voluntary redundancies 

to he amount of 1.75 times the 

statutory wage. Before redundancy pay 

is given, managers promise staff will 

continued to be paid until July, regardless 

of their notice period. 

The new scheme also means that staff 

must reapply for new full or part time 

posts, should they wish to continue 

working within the catering establishment. 

This is due to be conducted 

through a series of interviews that will 

be held over the next few weeks. 

Kay Jones, Head of Hospitality & 

Commercial Services, outlined that 

the process will be one of “selecting in, 

not selecting out” although staff with 

“blemished record” such as disciplinary 

£85,140 

713 

£81,303 

warnings will be at a disadvantage. 

The review outlines that the small 

percentage of staff that are performing 

dual roles, will be required to choose 

between their posts due to complexities 

in managing a complex configuration of 

hours. The University’s entrenched condition 

sets out that staff must not exceed 

37 contracted hours a week and the total 

hours of dual roles may be above this 

figure. However, in an effort to minimize 

the impact on long-term staff, the 

university has recently been employing 

casual and agency workers in places 

such as Henderson Hall. 

Although some staff, who had felt 

secure in their jobs claimed that the 

review was sprung upon them. However 

senior managers of the review have 

confirmed that the policy had been 

made clear to staff from the outset. Paul 

Bandeen, Housing Manager, confirmed 

that staff were offered a large number 

of group consultations followed by unit 

meetings and one to one drop in sessions 

not to mention fortnightly newsletters 

to update staff on recent alterations 

in the review. 

The number 

of books lost 

by year since 

2008 

Amount of 

money the 

library has 

collected in 

ines since 

2008 

Despite this, members of staff have 

found the delay in the process difficult 

as their jobs become less secure. Rich 

Parry, president of Havelock Hall in 

Castle Leazes, stated that he does get 

“the sense there’s trouble in the mill” 

amongst members of the catering staff. 

Indeed the demoralization of staff as a 

result of the cuts has meant that there 

has been an impulse towards resignation 

in recent weeks with Parry confirming 

that at least one member of the 

bar staff has already left their post. 

With low morale prevalent throughout 

some of the staff, the friendly and 

high quality of service may be reduced 

to a solely functional system where staff, 

according to Parry, “may not be inclined 

to go the extra mile”. 

As outlined by Paul Bandeen, “the 

primary focus [of the review] is to improve 

services” without subsidizing this 

through student fees. 

According to Kay Jones, “everyone is 

in exactly the same boat as legally that is 

how it’s meant to be looked at” stressing 

that all staff will be treated equally”. 

Number of 

missing library 

books double 

By George Sandeman 

News Editor 

The Robinson library lost more books 

last year than the two years before combined, 

despite seeing a drop of almost 

£8,000 in collected fines. 

So far this year, the library has lost 

only 104 books, but has acquired nearly 

£50,000 in fines. 

Financial penalties imposed by the 

library have been a constant problem 

with students. Last year The Courier 

reported the fact that students risked 

being able to graduate if they had outstanding 

library fines. 

In recent years, around 10 graduation 

parchments have been withheld each 

year due to accumulated and unpaid 

library fines. 

When a book is 33 days overdue, it is 

assumed missing and students can face 

a £50 fee for its replacement. Students 

do have the option of buying the book 

themselves, however in the majority of 

cases, the book exceeds the imposed 

penalty nevertheless. 

The £50 covers the administrative 

costs of re-ordering the book and then 

preparing it so it can be redistributed to 

students. 

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940 

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced 

by students, for students. It’s never too late 

to get involved in the paper, whether you’re 

a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit 

thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more 

information. 

Editor Kat Bannon Deputy Editor Elliot Bentley News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman 

Online News Editor Helen Lam Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment 

Editor Jack Torrance C2 Editor Aimee Philipson Lifestyle Editors Emma Balter, Ben Parkin and 

Lauren Stafford Online Lifestyle Editor Lauren Cordell Fashion Editor Victoria Mole Online Fashion 

Editor Rosanna Sopp Arts Editors Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt Film Editor Chris 

Binding Online Film Editor Hayley Hamilton Music Editors Ben Travis and Chris Scott Online Music 

Editor Graham Matthews Science Editor Mark Atwill Online Science Editor Shaun Butcher Sports 

Editors Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Barron Online Sports Editors Grace Harvey and 

Charlie Scott Design Editors Gabe Mason and Tom O’Boyle Copy Editors Sarah Collings, Rachael Day, 

Dave Dodds, Grace Marconi, Rebecca Markham, Charley Monteith, Adam Rummens, Alice Sewell, 

Marleen van Os, Emily Wheeler 

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh 

House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United 

Kingdom, DE3 0DA. 

Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent 

student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle 

University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, 

and is free of charge. 

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of 

The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this 

newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission 

of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion 

pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The 

Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

Th eCourier Monday 30 April 2012 

news.3 

Marathon proves no walk in the park 

By Helen Lam 

Online News Editor 

They say a dog is a man’s best friend, 

but last Sunday third-year English Literature 

student Hamish Adams-Cairns, 

took the phrase to a whole new level. 

The 21-year-old ran the London 

marathon dressed as Gromit from the 

cartoon duo Wallace and Gromit, all in 

memory of his best friend’s Alby Shale’s 

father, who sadly passed away last summer. 

Not content however, with simply 

dressing up, Hamish decided he wanted 

to break the Guinness world record for 

the fastest marathon ran dressed as an 

animal, a record broken last year by 

Martin Indge who completed the London 

marathon dressed as an ostrich. 

The idea for dressing up as Gromit 

came as his friends father was a massive 

dog lover and so it seemed only appropriate. 

Hamish, along with his friend and 

Politics student Alby Shale, who also 

ran the marathon, spoke to The Courier 

to discuss their 4-month training programme; 

“ The last thing I wanted to do 

was go for a run when it was windy and 

freezing in the winter. 

“I had to stop drinking for the last two 

weeks and all I was eating every day was 

porridge, bananas, pasta and rice, not 

very exciting.” 

On the day however all the training 

became worth it, as Hamish said: “It 

is the best day to be in London, it’s an 

amazing experience. Every boy I know 

always grew up wanting to be a professional 

sportsman and no one really 

makes it, but then on the day it’s unbelievable 

it’s really one day you feel like a 

professional.” 

Hamish is raising money for both 

the British Heart Foundation and the 

Rwanda Cricket Stadium Foundation, a 

charity set up in honour of his friend’s 

father who always dreamt of opening 

the first cricket stadium in Rwanda. 

The foundation was set up on a not to 

profit basis to construct and manage an 

international stadium, giving a home to 

the boys’, girls’ and full national cricket 

teams, whilst also enabling Rwanda to 

“The idea for dressing up as Gromit came as 

his friend’s father was a massive dog lover” 

host international matches and tournaments. 

The ground will further be used by 

the Rwanda Cricket Association for the 

continued development of cricket in 

schools and universities, and amongst 

some of Rwanda’s most disadvantaged 

young people. 

Despite not breaking the world record 

on the day however, Hamish ran the 

marathon in a commendable 4 hours 

and 24 minutes and has currently raised 

around £6000 in total for both charities. 

More information on the Rwanda 

Cricket Stadium Foundation can be 

found at www.rcsf.org.uk/. 

CHEESE 

GROMIT? 

Despite being unable to break 

the world record Hamish still 

managed to raise £6000 for 

his two chosen charities. 

Photography: Hamish Adams- 

Cairns 

Third-year claims Innovation Award 

TOTALLY 

SPEECHLESS 

Marketing student Archie pitching 

business idea ‘triptab’ to a panel 

of entrepreneurs at the Business 

school at the first North East 

startup weekend. 

Photography: 

SW Newcastle 

By Kat Bannon 

Editor 

Third-year Marketing student Archie 

Wilkinson has stepped it up a gear since 

selling veg on the side of the street to 

passing cars as an eight-year-old. 

Last weekend he was part of team that 

scooped the Innovative Award with 

their proposal ‘Triptab’ in the Global 

Challenge Startup Weekend, hosted by 

the Business School. 

Making an appearance in the North 

East for the first time from Friday to 

Saturday, the event set 70 people the 

task to develop and present a business 

within 54 hours. 

Over 50 ideas were put forward by 

those attending, which were then whittled 

down to just 12, after those taking 

part highlighted their favourite ideas 

using a sophisticated post-it note voting 

method. 

The remaining few included a text service 

for car insurance quotes, an app for 

retail sales and an online recruitment 

portal. 

It was then the task of those remaining 

to sell themselves to those lucky few 

whose ideas had made the cut, in order 

to be part of their development team. 

Archie, after failing to make his first 

choice, a project called ‘Sharing Sporting 

Moments’, joined forces with Triptab. 

Their proposal was to produce an interactive 

tab for inflight entertainment 

to lower budget airlines such as easyjet 

a n dfl y b e . 

Having six or seven languages between 

them, the Triptab team’s backgrounds 

spanned from Cambridge University 

to Mumbai, while no one was 

over their mid-twenties. 

Clock ticking, they set to work immediately. 

“It was a bit like the Apprentice. We 

worked until 5am and then started work 

again at 8am. 

“As we had to leave the Business School 

at 11 o’clock all six of us crammed into 

my bedroom instead to continue working.” 

“I’ve never experienced the solidity 

of a team like that before. There was no 

pickering or arguing between us once. 

There was such dynamism and a real 

buzz.” 

Covering market research Archie took 

to Newcastle airport to conduct vox 

pops and interview regular flyers. 

He was also responsible for their team 

t-shirts, a visible display of solidarity 

and professionalism that had been entirely 

overlooked by other teams: 

“I printed them in the library, It took 

me ages to work out which tray of the 

printer to put things in.” 

At 4 o’clock on the Sunday they had 

to pitch their ideas to a panel which 

included Plan Digital’s Paul Lancaster, 

North East Access to Finance’s Stephen 

Lightley, Bridge Club managing director 

Caroline Theobald, Rivers Capital 

Partners director Jonathan Gold and 

Newcastle University Business School’s 

James Hayton. 

It was Archie that stepped up to take 

the pitch, beginning his presentation 

with the dramatically rhetorical question 

“Are you frustrated with inflight 

entertainment?” 

Therefore, he didn’t quite expect Jonathan 

Goldman’s immediate ‘Yes’ response: 

“It completely threw me,” said Archie, 

“I froze, and couldn’t speak. Luckily we 

cut to a short clip of when we’d conducted 

market research at Newcastle 

airport and so I had time to recover and 

bring it back a bit. People were tweeting 

to say well done that I’d managed to get 

it back together, but I was really, really 

upset, I felt like I’d completely let the 

team down.“ 

However, he needn’t have worried, as 

“It was a bit like the Apprentice. We worked 

until 5am then started work again at 8am” 

after waiting 20 minutes for the panel to 

deliberate, Archie’s team were presented 

the Innovation Award, bagging them 

an investment of between £10,000- 

£100,000. 

Speaking about the event, Wilkinson 

says we would “recommend it to anyone. 

“It was the biggest learning curve I’d 

ever experienced. There was such an 

amazing, vibrant atmosphere the whole 

weekend.” 

So does he see himself taking this into 

the future? 

“Who know where it’s going to go. A 

lot of my friends are jealous, they think 

I’ll be set for life.” 

Watch this space.

4.news 



Entrepreneurs set SIFE on a better world 

HITTING THE 

BIG TIME 

Tyneside student entrepreneurs 

took London by storm as they 

presented concepts developing 

outreach projects between 

business and local communities 

Photography: Tom O’Boyle 

By Wills Robinson 

News Editor 

An enterprise society from Newcastle 

University reached the semi-final of a 

national competition in London by promoting 

their business concepts. 

The team beat off competition from 

46 other teams, 3,000 students and 266 

projects from around the country, winning 

a cash prize for society diversity. 

However, they just missed out on a trip 

to Washington D.C to compete on the 

world stage. 

Next year’s president of the society 

Thomas Hoggan said: “The competition 

was incredible. All the teams’ presentations 

were so inspiring and motivating”. 

Students In Free Enterprise (SIFE) is 

an international non-profit organization 

that motivates students to make a 

difference in their local communities by 

working with leaders in business. 

This is part of a process to develop 

their skills and mould the members into 

socially responsible business leaders. 

Their motto is: “To bring together the 

top leaders of today and tomorrow to 

create a better, more sustainable world 

through the positive power of business.” 

Participators look to improve the lives 

and living standards of people in need 

by forming teams within their university 

and using business concepts to develop 

outreach projects. 

In addition, it is also a chance for recruiters 

to seek out emerging and enterprising 

talent and a great chance for 

students and alumni to get a job. 

The projects that SIFE have undertaken 

include; helping a local music 

group in Newcastle made up of refugees 

and asylum seekers, sharing business 

ideas with carers in North Tyneside and 

Gateshead, and one based on improving 

sanitation and farming techniques 

in Rwanda. 

The initiatives in the African country 

have been all the more significant, as 

they look to improve the lives of those 

affected by the 1994 Rwandan genocide. 

A member of the children’s charity 

Coco recently visited the community 

they are working with. They reported 

that the housing conditions were among 

some of the poorest in Africa, the sanitation 

was very poor and the security 

for the cooperative was even worse. 

Through the scheme they are attempting 

to develop irrigation techniques, 

improve the farmer’s accounting and 

construct new, sanitary toilets within 

the village. The competition in Canary 

Wharf was part of an annual series of 

regional and national competitions 

where teams can present their ideas to 

business leaders, with the winners of the 

national competition progressing to the 

SIFE World Cup in Washington D.C. 

Hoggan encouraged students to join 

the society saying: “It’s a great way to 

put your skills to the test whilst also empowering 

people in need. “ 

National Front rally 

on St. George’s Day 

By Peter Wood 

St. George’s Day last week saw the annual 

rally of the National Front in Newcastle 

city centre. 

From midday, members of the group 

were flying St. George flags gathered 

around Grey’s Monument and calling 

for the day to be recognised as a bank 

holiday. The group believes that the day 

is not currently a public holiday as it 

would “offend ethnic minorities.” 

They also chanted choruses of: “We’re 

England, we’re proud, we want our 

country back.” 

In addition, they handed out leaflets to 

members of the public that stated: “This 

isn’t a political day, but a patriotic celebration 

of our nation’s heritage, culture 

and history.” 

Northumbria Police, who had a small 

number of officers present at the event, 

said that they were there in order to 

“facilitate peaceful assembly” and that 

around 20-30 National Front members 

had attended the two hour rally. No arrests 

were made and the event passed 

without incident. 

They chanted choruses of: “We’re England, 

we’re proud, we want our country back.” 

Public reaction to the rally was not 

very positive, however. One passer-by 

described the group as “thugs”. 

Another Newcastle resident said that 

he is sickened “when they start talking 

about sending people home” and that 

“instead of focusing on real issues, [the 

far-right] come out with this rubbish.” 

NF members call for St.George’s Day to be a bank holiday Photography: Peter Wood


news.5 

Negative campaigning could be the norm 

with proposed NUSU election reforms 

By Elliot Bentley 

Deputy Editor 

The introduction of negative campaigning 

and the removal of facebook restrictions 

are two ways in which next year’s 

Students’ Union elections could change. 

The proposals, which are to be voted 

on in Union Council this Thursday, are 

part of a package of measures designed 

to make the elections process more 

straightforward for future candidates. 

Negative campaigning, to be allowed 

on “the basis of policies only”, is the 

most significant proposed change as 

under current NUSU rules campaigners 

are not allowed to write or say negative 

things about their opponents. 

Other changes include the removal 

of sponsorship, the release of publicity 

material without prior approval and the 

replacement of the Elections Committee 

with NUSU staff. 

Charles Barry, who wrote the proposals, 

said: “These reforms have been 

buzzing around in my head since I came 

to Newcastle and I tried to run for Convenor 

of Debates last year.” 

He added: “I found the process very 

frustrating and it required a huge 

amount of preparatory work and I 

found it very off putting. I think more 

candidates should be interested but 

those who aren’t really keen find it very 

difficult.” 

Liam Dale, this year’s Education Officer 

and current Chair of Elections Committee, 

told The Courier that he mostly 

supported the reforms. 

“They’re going to be voted on in parts 

so they don’t have to be taken as they are 

in total,” he said. “Which is very good 

because some of it is good and some of 

it is, in my opinion, not so great.” 

He warned that: “Negative campaigning, 

in the way we have it at the minute, 

is very restrictive in what you say. But 

if it comes down to personal attacks on 

other candidates, then it’s too far.” 

Dale said that students can have a say 

in the reforms by coming to Council 

and “getting involved in the debate” 

at 5.15pm this Thursday in the History 

room. However, 

only elected 

NUSU was 

criticised during 

the March 

elections for 

poor promotion 

of the positions 

along with an 

embarrassing 

U-turn 

councillors and 

officers are able 

to take part in the 

vote. 

The Students’ 

Union was criticised 

during the 

March elections 

for poor promotion 

of the positions 

along with 

an embarrassing 

U-turn after the 

decision to extend the nominations 

deadline was reversed by the NUS’ Returning 

Officer. 

NUSU President Laura Perry was also 

questioned over a last-minute decision 

to re-run despite having stood as Chair 

of Elections Committee until then. 

The second point of the motion reads 

that Sabbatical Officers must declare 

four weeks in advance whether or not 

they wish to run for re-election, which 

Barry says, was “absolutely influenced” 

by Perry’s last-minute decision and the 

resulting difficulties. 

Perry told The Courier that she was 

concerned that this was the “wrong 

time” to introduce reforms. “We need to 

wait for feedback from candidates and 

the NUS’ Returning Officer before we 

make these reforms,” she said. 

Refusing to comment on any policies 

ahead of Thursday’s debate she did 

however concede that “negative campaigning 

might be a concern for some 

students”. 

She later clarified via email: “I don’t 

believe that it would be wise to pass a 

motion containing fundamental reform 

to the elections procedure, without any 

review of the information that will be 

available in the near future. 

“There are no elections that would be 

affected by any changes made until November 

2012 and there are at least two 

Council meetings between now and 

then, at which a well-considered proposal 

could be brought.” 

Jasmine Walker, who ran in the March 

elections for Activities Officer, said that 

she thought the proposals were tackling 

the wrong issues: “For a full-time position, 

I don’t see why it shouldn’t be complicated. 

If people knew about the job 

they would think, ‘well, that’s not too 

bad, I might go for it’”, she commented. 

“It’s because people didn’t know about 

it.” 

“Some people run and they haven’t 

been involved in anything else in the 

Students’ Union,” added Rachael Thornton, 

who also ran in the March elections 

this year. 

“And they’re expected to run this big 

campaign and they have no idea how to 

#WINNING 

Electoral reform proposals 

aim to make running 

for NUSU positions easier 

for candidates Photography: 

Ed Banfi eld 

do it. And that’s what they fall down on, 

even if they’re a good candidate.” 

However, what these proposals do not 

appear to do is deal with the loud and 

busy campaigning outside of the Union, 

which some students are bothered by. 

The proposals are part of a package of measures 

designed to make the elections process 

more straightforward for future candidates 

“I think that’s a matter of courtesy,” 

says Barry. “People have to accept that 

it’s elections week. 

“People are very enthusiastic about 

these campaigns and if you don’t shell 

out enthusiasm just be polite. It’s only 

for three days.” 

“Families expect that they should do really well in their studies” 

from front page 

necessary to carry on trying to change 

things.” 

Speaking to The Courier, International 

Officer Adit Agarwal voiced the problems 

of many current international students: 

“A lot are just home sick and want 

someone to talk to because it affects 

whether they are doing well. It’s costing 

people back home a lot of money 

for them to be there, especially after 

currency conversions. Families expect 

that they should do really well in their 

studies. 

“A number of international students 

are sponsored not only by their families 

but neighbours and banks in order that 

they have the right financial support. I 

know a lot of students that don’t go out 

very much because they have to study. 

They know that if they don’t get the 

right results they wont get a job back 

home because there’s such a large population.” 

Despite accounting for less than 

25% of the student population here at 

Newcastle, international student fees 

collectively amount to more than that 

of home and EU students. However, 

international students are falling significantly 

behind their peers in degree 

classifications. 

Last year, only just over 30% of international 

students graduated with a 2:1, 

compared to over 50% of Home and EU 

students. 

Similarly, the number of International 

students that graduated with a third accounted 

for over 10%, compared to just 

3% of Home and EU students. 

During the inquest into Xija Zhang’s 

death, Alan Gibson from Northumbria 

Police told the court that Xijia had 

phoned her mother on the morning of 

her death, upset that she’d had a piece of 

work handed back to her that required 

amendments. Later that day she had 

sent a text to her mother saying: “Sorry 

and goodbye.” 

The inquest also heard eyewitness 

testimonies of passers-by who saw the 

scholarship student plummet 40 feet 

last December. 

Computing Phd student Martin 

Emms described to the court at Newcastle 

Civic Centre that he was walking 

towards the Robinson Library at about 

12.30pm on 2 December when a mobile 

phone fell to the ground in front of him. 

He said: “The mobile phone caused us 

to look up. We saw a young lady climbing 

out of the window. The windows 

don’t open very far. She had her head 

and shoulders out when we first saw her 

then she kind of squeezed out. When 

she was holding on the window frame, 

she suddenly just let go.” 

When asked if it appeared as if Miss 

Zhang had deliberately let go, Mr Emms 

said yes. 

The 20-year-old, who was studying 

English and Linguistics on an exchange 

programme, died from multiple injuries 

at the scene. 

Head of Modern Languages Professor 

Máire Cross described how Xijia, from 

China’s Sichuan University, had been 

“recommended by her tutors as a tremendous 

student.” 

“Working as a volunteer, she taught 

senior citizens English and spent a lot of 

time with them. 

Xijia’s mother Yanhua Meng described 

how her daughter had been “slightly depressed” 

in November, two months in to 

her year long exchange. 

Pathologist Dr. Nigel Kirckham reported 

that she died of a fractured skull, 

major head injuries and a severely damaged 

aorta. 

Coroner David Mitford concluded 

that it was clear that the talented exchange 

student had intended to take her 

own life,but that nobody knew why. 

Oldam also commented: 

“Support for our international students 

is provided right across the University: 

by individual schools, the counselling 

and mental health team in the 

Student Wellbeing Service, our chaplaincy 

and the international office. The 

Students’ Union has a big role to play in 

this as well. 

“We know that significant numbers 

of international students make use of 

the mental health and counselling services 

we have on offer, however, we are 

always looking to improve. That’s why 

from the start of the next academic year 

two members of the mental health and 

counselling team will have attended a 

course looking specifically at supporting 

the mental wellbeing of Chinese 

Students studying in UK Higher Education. 

“To provide ongoing advice and 

guidance on what more the University 

should be doing, the students agreed 

to establish a working group on which 

student wellbeing services would be 

present, but this group has yet to be established.” 

Undergraduate Degree Classifications awarded 2009-2011 

Graph results based ased on 10760 Home/EU students and 690 International students

6.news 



Pol Soc hosts hustings as council candidates try 

By Peter Wood 

A hustings for the candidates contesting 

the North Jesmond ward in this weeks 

local council elections was hosted by 

the Politics Society last week, giving 

students from the area a chance to voice 

their concerns. 

Chaired by the PolSoc President Luke 

Henman, discussions opened with 

questions about Europe and why there 

has never been a 

Conservative 

James Bartle 

said that he 

supports having 

a directly 

elected mayor 

for the city, 

stating “there 

is a massive 

accountability 

gap between 

the public and 

the cabinet” 

referendum on 

the subject. 

However, all 

three candidates 

stressed that as 

councillor candidates, 

their primary 

concern was 

on local issues 

that affect Jesmond 

and Newcastle 

as a whole. 

The majority 

of students present 

were still 

undecided on 

the question of a 

directly elected 

mayor for Newcastle. 

Conservative James Bartle said that he 

supports having a directly elected mayor 

for the city, stating “there is a massive 

accountability gap between the public 

and the cabinet”. 

He he went on to cite examples such 

as building on greenbelt land that have 

gone through in the current system 

with very few checks. In terms of faults 

[Breaky] believes 

alcohol is the key 

issue that leads to 

problems between 

students and permanent 

residents in 

Jesmond 

in the current system he also pointed 

to successes in other areas in the north 

east that have directly elected mayors. 

He stated that the position would actually 

reduce accountability given that 

one individual wouldn’t necessarily 

represent as broad a cross section of the 

area as the current system allows. 

Mr Hickling is also concerned that 

party politics can come into play as an 

elected mayor of a given party could 

find themselves constantly blocked if 

there is a majority council of another 

party, pointing to North Tyneside as an 

example. 

Peter Breakey, the Liberal Democrat 

candidate who has served as a councillor 

since 2008, said that the Lib Dem 

Want to have your say on a news story? Visit thecourieronline.co.uk 

party in Newcastle was opposed to a directly 

elected mayor, but that there were 

arguments for and against it. 

He stated that he has “not seen any 

strong evidence of any great benefits 

for having a directly elected mayor.” Mr 

Breakey was still undecided on which 

way to vote however he believed that the 

majority of people were either against or 

undecided. 

A major topic of discussion at the 

meeting, however, was the ongoing issue 

of relations between student residents 

and Jesmond residents. 

Mr Breakey believes that one of the 

biggest issues is 

Labour’s Hickling 

said he 

does not wish 

to see students 

in the area 

scapegoated 

the night time 

noise in the area, 

stating that some 

families have 

been “driven out” 

of Jesmond because 

of anti-social 

behaviour. 

He also believes 

that houses of Multiple Occupation in 

the area also contribute to the problems. 

Both of these issues are a key part of Mr 

Breakey’s re-election campaign. 

For Mr Breakey, alcohol is the key issue 

that leads to problems between students 

and permanent residents. However, 

Operation Oak was helping. 

Mr Hickling was more cautious on the 

issue. As a former Community Officer 

at Newcastle University Students Union, 

he does not wish to see students in 

the area scapegoated as has sometimes 

been the case, and that although tackling 

anti-social behaviour is important, 

we shouldn’t make the debate “students 

versus permanent residents” as it has 

[Breaky] believes that one of the biggest 

issues is the night time noise in the 

area, stating that some families have been 

“driven out” of Jesmond [by students] 

been in the past. 

Mr Bartle highlighted that it is important 

to remember that students are 

a part of the community and have “an 

important role to play.” 

Acknowledging that anti-social behaviour 

in Jesmond is not entirely down 

to students, he is also concerned about 

the licensing laws in the Osborne Road 

area of Jesmond and thinks that this is 

a contributing factor towards the antisocial 

behaviour in the area and may be 

an issue worthy of review. 

Some of the students were sceptical of 

the “rigorous enforcement” line taken 

by Mr Breakey. 

They believed that more work could 

be done to make students more aware 

of the consequences of their actions. 

One also suggested that it could make 

a difference if students weren’t made to 

feel like temporary residents. 

This was echoed by the Labour candidate 

who believes that engagement 

from both permanent and student residents 

can help with these issues. 

Initiatives such as Welcome Packs and 

introductory street parties can help to 

make students feel a part of the community, 

which also helps relations and 

can “cool relations that are simmering 

slightly.” 

The session raised many issues yet remained 

civil throughout. Polls open on 

Thursday 3rd May with polling stations 

at St. Hilda’s Church Hall, St. George’s 

Church Hall, and Holy Trinity Church 

Hall. 

Local elections to Newcastle City Council 

and the mayoral referendum will be 

held on Thursday 3 May 2012. Polling 

stations will be open from 0700 to 2200.


news.7 

tackle student-resident issues 

Tyne to decide if 

toon has mayor 

Mayor brings transparency 

to local politics 

YES 

PETER 

WOOD 

COMMENT 

The debate on whether to have an 

elected Mayor in Newcastle has often 

boiled down to the question: “Do we 

want our own Boris?” 

If that was indeed the question then I would 

be arguing resolutely no, we do not need nor 

– I hope – want a Boris, but that is not the 

question. The question to be put to voters this 

week is one of a systemic nature, and the answer 

is glaringly obvious. 

Who would you rather have as the figurehead 

of your city? Someone who has been 

chosen by the electorate or a person whom, 

although voted into the position of councillor, 

was never voted to assume the role of 

Mayor. 

The shadowy arrangement that has been in 

place in Newcastle for all of this time has simply 

served to exclude the electorate. 

Not only do the people of Newcastle deserve 

to have a say in who represents the city 

on a national level, but they should also make 

that person work for their position, not simply 

have it handed to them by others in their 

own party. We need a leader chosen by the 

city, not a handful of individuals. 

One of the main advantages to the Mayoral 

system as it is proposed in Newcastle is that 

the candidates for mayor would have to actively 

campaign for our votes. 

The leader wouldn’t be a person that was 

voted in to lead one particular ward to find 

they are actually running the city; but someone 

that has had to canvass and convince all 

Newcastle residents that they are the person 

for the job. 

Accountability is one of the main advantages 

to having an elected Mayor. Once in office, 

a Mayor would be accountable to the electorate 

for the decisions that they take. 

A mayor that has campaigned on a particular 

issue must then address that issue. If they 

did not, then they would soon find themselves 

at the mercy of the people. 

A leader picked by others in their own party 

who is not democratically elected, doesn’t 

have any promises to keep (or break). They 

don’t have an entire city to answer to when 

they make a bad call. 

The shadowy 

arrangement 

that has been 

in place in Newcastle 

for all of 

this time has 

simply served 

to exclude the 

electorate 

QUESTION TYNE 

The Politics Society got the chance to grill 

the candidates ahead of local elections and 

the mayoral referendum on Thursday 3 May. 

Photography: Peter Wood 

Above all, though, is 

the importance of maintaining 

the principle of 

democracy. We have 

a democratic process 

for many things in our 

lives now. Local politics 

is just as important 

as national politics in 

my opinion. People are 

increasingly becoming 

more concerned and involved 

with the politics of their local area. 

This is particularly prevalent in the north, 

where Scotland is currently striving for independence 

and the ‘north-south divide’ is 

showing signs of widening. Surely we should 

employ a democratic process to decide who 

should be mayor. 

The answer to this debate to me seems obvious. 

It’s simply a choice between whether or 

not we want democracy. It’s a surprise it has 

taken this long to even be asked. 

NO 

By Wills Robinson 

News Editor 

This Thursday, Newcastle will be one 

of the many UK cities holding a referendum 

on the prospect of a directly 

elected mayor alongside local council 

elections. 

This comes as part of minister’s 

plans to regenerate cities and has received 

an enthusiastic backing from 

David Cameron. 

An agreement by the coalition has 

proposed that 12 of the largest cities 

outside London would have the position 

elected, if a referendum returned 

a positive result. These, include: Birmingham, 

Bradford, Bristol, Coventry, 

Leeds, Manchester, Newcastle, 

Nottingham, Sheffield and Wakefield. 

Leicester has already chosen its 

mayor and Liverpool city council is 

bypassing the referendum stage by 

switching straight to mayoral election 

on the same day. 

The powers that the position would 

possess are still being debated. However 

in places like Salford, where a 

mayor has already been elected, the 

policy areas they have influence include 

public transport, apprenticeships 

and aspects of housing. 

It is also unclear as to the salary they 

are likely to receive, which means that 

the public have generally been left in 

the dark about what they are actually 

voting for. 

The debate on whether to have a 

directly elected mayor has failed to 

ignite in many of the cities across the 

country. Despite a handful of campaigns 

both for and against the position, 

it has not reached the general 

public and has remained amongst the 

more politically active members of 

the community. Campaigners have 

also suffered from a lack of financial 

backing, with many not affording to 

put leaflets through people’s doors. 

Despite enthusiasm from the government, 

a Guardian/ICM poll last 

week suggested that the majority of 

the UK population would rather be 

governed by a local council run mostly 

by councilors. 

The concept of directly-elected 

mayors came under Tony Blair, as he 

introduced an elected Mayor of London. 

Since then, the race between Boris 

Johnston and Ken Livingstone has 

managed to attract a lot of media attention, 

both locally and nationally 

and has encapsulated a large number 

of the capitol’s residents. However it 

is questionable as to whether this can 

be replicated in the rest of the cities 

around the country. 

Mayors would lead to total 

political gridlock 

GEORGINA 

MOULE 

COMMENT 

Every referendum on elected Mayors, 

taking place in the 11 largest cities 

in England will cost the taxpayer 

£250,000. 

Every mayoral election that will take place in 

cities that vote yes will cost the state. This is despite 

the fact its not clear that elected mayors 

are any more democratic or provide any more 

change than the current leader and cabinet 

model. 

The claim that elected mayors are more 

democratic is untrue. How can giving so much 

power to one individual be more democratic 

than the power being shared between many? 

Yes, an elected mayor would be chosen by 

public rather than councillors, but an elected 

mayor would also be elected for four years, and 

would only be removed from office if they were 

sectioned or committed a serious criminal offence. 

The amount of power the mayor would hold 

would mean that to overturn it, two thirds of 

the council would need to vote against it, even 

on key issues such as the budget. 

There are examples of this system causing 

problems in cities across the country, as close 

to home as North Tyneside. There, the Conservative 

mayor oversees a predominantly Labour 

Council. 

For many years before that, a Labour Mayor 

was unable to make many changes because 

Conservatives dominated the council. Currently 

in Newcastle, the leader of the council is 

chosen by the councillors themselves, meaning 

that the leader will usually have their support, 

and important reforms can happen in the city. 

Elected mayors can also divide communities, 

as happened in Doncaster, where an extreme 

right wing mayor was elected, divided the 

community and made the town virtually ungovernable. 

- it had to be overseen by a squad 

of government “advisors”. 

Stoke-on-Trent was also dissatisfied with 

their elected mayor, so dissatisfied in fact, that 

amid allegations of corruption, they had another 

referendum and switched back again. 

On top of the cost of the referendums across 

the country here is the issue 

of the cost of paying 

an elected mayor. 

Currently, the mayor of 

North Tyneside is payed 

more than £60,000 a 

year, while the leader of 

Newcastle City Council, 

a much bigger and more 

significant authority, receives 

less than half that 

amount. 

In these hard financial times, can we as a 

Every referendum 

on elected 

Mayors, taking 

place in the 11 

largest cities 

in England will 

cost the taxpayer 

£250,000 

country really afford to spend so much money 

on a system for which, consultation three years 

ago showed, there is no desire for in Newcastle? 

Turn out in regions that do have mayors has 

been incredibly low, sometimes less than 20%. 

This hardly shows that there is a genuine desire 

for an elected mayor in the city. 

The personality-obsessed media are in favour 

of elected mayors. We don’t do presidentialstyle 

politics in this country, and the way a city 

is run should be about policy and delivery, not 

about the cult of celebrity.

8.news 



NUS President Liam Burns calls upon 

lecturers to have teaching qualifications 

By Ralph Blackburn 

University lecturers should have to acquire 

a teaching qualification, stated 

newly re-elected National Union of Students’ 

President Liam Burns last week. 

With tuition fees now standing at 

£9,000 a year, Burns said: “It is probably 

right that there is a continued professional 

development for those who 

teach.” 

Newcastle University is a researchbased 

institution where the focus is 

upon the quality of research, not necessarily 

teaching. 

Burns, particularly focusing on lectures 

and seminars taught by postgraduate 

students, described them as 

“casualised” with poor support for the 

postgraduate teachers. 

This system is employed by Newcastle 

University and has recently been criticised 

as a money-saving alternative to 

professional lecturers. 

Burns has been the first person to 

bring the idea up since the NUS showed 

a shift in policy from focusing on lowering 

the tuition fees to campaigning for 

better value for money. 

Student responses have differed with 

second-year Geography student Carla 

Fernandez disagreeing with Burns’ suggested 

techniques. She commented: 

“There should be a certain teaching 

standard to ensure we are getting value 

for money. However, a more stringent 

selection process by universities would 

be most effective.” 

Rose Boyce, third-year English Language 

and Linguistics student, agreed 

with Burns that lecturers should be 

tested: “There should be some kind of 

teaching test as the difference in quality 

of teaching is huge. However, it should 

be done internally so as not to waste 

money or time.” 

An increase in teaching standards appears 

to appeal to students across the 

Newcastle University campus, even if 

the implementation may spark debate. 

Dr. Joan Allen, Head of History, responded 

to Burns’ claims by noting that 

Newcastle University “has had professional 

training in place for its academic 

staff since 1984.” Allen also pointed out 

that, “Anyone who is appointed to teach 

at Newcastle without a teaching qualification 

is required to get one”. 

Allen also said, in regards to postgraduate 

students teaching: “Postgraduates 

are offered the opportunity to teach, 

conditional upon the completion of 

the University’s postgraduate teaching 

qualification”. 

Increase in tuition fees 

mean teaching 

imperative 

YES 

LAURA 

WOTTON 

COMMENT 

From buying new shoes to 

choosing cheese at Sainsbury’s, 

I’ve always stood by the simple 

truth that ‘you get what you 

pay for’. 

Yet considering three-year university 

courses now make a £27,000-sized 

hole in your bank account, I have 

come to reconsider this stance. 

If we are to understand university as 

a means of further educating oneself, 

then surely it is reasonable to expect 

lecturers to have teaching qualifications. 

Burns outlined that “it is undeniable, 

with the increase of perceived payment 

of fees, that people have much 

higher expectations,” suggesting that 

students suffering at the hands of 

these so-to-speak ‘unqualified’ lecturers, 

ultimately will not get their money’s 

worth. 

Of course, I do not deny the probable 

existence of many hugely inspiring 

lecturers without a qualification 

to their name. Those with sufficient 

social and communicative skills will 

not disappoint when imparting their 

knowledge to a room of students. 

No, I am talking about those without 

these skills who, although perhaps 

deeply intellectual and dedicated to 

their subject area, ultimately fail to 

Form-filling irrelevant 

in providing 

quality academia 

NO 

JAKE 

UNSWORTH 

COMMENT 

Liam Burns wants all our lecturers 

to hold a qualification 

“similar to the PGCE” in order 

to be able to teach at university. 

On the face of it, this is a reasonable 

suggestion considering the fact students 

will soon be paying £9,000 per 

year. 

However, I would argue that we must 

consider how successful the existing 

teaching qualifications are before they 

are rolled out across our lecturers. 

The PGCE, or Postgraduate Certificate 

of Education, is the main existing 

qualification which school teachers 

hold. However, it is of little advantage 

to them. 

That is not to say it’s easy. In fact, it 

takes a phenomenal amount of effort; 

regular 60-hour weeks for example, in 

order to fulfil this qualification, but 

those who pass it learn very little from 

all this effort. 

It is an exercise in late nights and early 

mornings of form filling rather than 

an intellectually stimulating course 

which provides in-depth information 

on how to become a great teacher. 

Attempts to revamp the course have 

focused too heavily on increasing the 

workload, rather than making it more 

developmental; as such, the only thing 

make any sense at all to students without 

the same calibre of knowledge on 

the subject at hand. 

Given that many lecturers perform 

dual roles in teaching seminars too, it 

seems inconceivable that these smaller 

and more discussion-led classes can 

conceivably be lead by someone without 

the adeptness to teach. 

Indeed, an NUS report based on 

students’ university experience discovered 

that beyond admirable facilities 

and decent contact time, it was the 

teaching skill of lecturers that came up 

trumps in delivering a positive learning 

experience. 

Not all universities have the funds to 

employ solely leading academics and 

instead call upon inexpensive yet inexperienced 

postgraduate students to 

deliver lectures. 

This standardization and ‘one size 

fits all’ approach is, of course, both 

tedious and limits the prospect for 

academic individuality, yet I strongly 

believe that in order to eliminate wasted 

hours of incomprehensible lectures 

and to deliver the promised value-formoney 

learning experience, a teaching 

qualification for all lecturers seems a 

reasonable standard to ask for. 

that has increased is the number of 

hours taken to complete it, not the 

level of teaching required. 

Is this what Liam Burns wants for 

our lecturers? 

Indeed the planned replacement for 

the PGCE, the GTP, is a school-based 

programme where potential teachers 

learn on the job. 

Our lecturers already follow a system 

very similar to this, learning on 

the job and getting feedback during 

their first years of university teaching. 

One universal qualification could 

not reflect the importance of diversity 

in teaching styles 

It is an exercise 

in late nights 

and early 

mornings of 

form filling 

rather than 

an intellectually 

stimulating 

course 

and approaches. 

Another problem 

is that qualifications 

breed 

complacency. In 

our secondary 

education sector, 

prospective employers 

(schools) 

focus too much 

on the quality of 

the PGCE, when 

in fact this does 

not accurately reflect the ability of the 

teacher to stimulate learning and enthusiasm 

among students. 

In my opinion, universities should 

employ their lecturers based on more 

things than a single qualification can 

take into account. 

Liam Burns should take heed of the 

immortal words of Bert Hance: “If it 

ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”


Sugar daddies seen as new way 

for girls to pay off student debts 

By Susie May Beaver 

British female students across the country 

have been taking drastic measures to 

help pay off vast debts. 

A US-based dating website, designed 

specifically to allow rich older men to 

meet potential younger ‘trophy wives’, is 

seeing record numbers of young female 

graduates sign up. 

SeekingArrangement.com, which was 

founded in 2006, has released figures 

showing the top 20 universities in the 

UK from which students are signing up 

to a life of dependency. 

The Universities of Nottingham, Kent 

and the London School of Economics 

have the highest number of students on 

the website, with 61 accounts coming 

Job Title: Waiting Staff & Door Hosts 

Employer: Frankie and Benny’s 

Closing date: 01.05.12 

Salary: Competitive 

Basic job description: Frankie and Benny’s 

are looking to recruit part-time Waiting Staff 

and Door Hosts in the Newcastle area. A 

recruitment open day is to be held on the 

1st May at the restaurant on John Dobson 

Street, Newcastle. The Open Day will be held 

on Tuesday 1 May 2012 from 10am to 5pm, 

no appointment needed, simply come along 

and bring your CV. 

Person requirements: If you have relevant 

experience and a genuine passion for hospitality 

and providing excellent service we 

would love to have a chat with you. 

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. 

Job Title: Sales Advisor 

Employer: Topman 


Salary: National Minimum Wage 

Basic job description: A Sales Advisor is 

required to work 8 hours per week within 

the Lloyds Shoes Concession at Topman in 

the Metrocentre. Duties include providing 

excellent customer service, selling shoes 

and meeting targets. 

Person requirements: Previous retail 

experience essential, along with exceptional 

customer service skills, good communication 

and numeracy skills and the ability to 

work within a team. 

Location: Gateshead. 

Job Title: Office Assistant 

Employer: Next 


Salary: £4.98 - £6.08 per hour 

Basic job description: An Office Assistant 

is required to work 3.5 hours per week at 

the store in North Shields. You will assist 

with the day-to-day operation of the office 

environment, to ensure all aspects of store 

administration are completed in line with 

Company and audit requirements. 

Person requirements: Experience working in 

a customer service/office environment. 

Location: North Shields. 

Job Title: Personal Assistant 

Employer: Disability North 


Salary: £8.00 per hour 

Basic job description: A Personal Assistant is 


from the university in first place. 

With the average student debt set to 

top £53,000 following the recent hike 

in tuition fees, young women across the 

country are seeking out the site in the 

hope of finding successful older men 

to help fund their courses. Cambridge 

University, which has been recently rated 

the world’s leading university, came 

fourth in the ranking with 46 students 

signing up to the website. 

The women, both students and graduates, 

can choose to apply to the website 

as ‘sugar babes’, before chatting to the 

men and arranging to meet for dates. 

One student, who graduated last 

year with a degree in film studies and 

£32,000 in debt signed up to the website, 

explaining she was “up to [her] eyes 

in debt... I met a range of men who on 

the whole were charming, funny and 

required to work 7 hours per week helping a 

lady who is engaged in disability issues. The 

position is subject to the satisfactory results 

of an Enhanced Criminal Records Bureau 

check. 

Person requirements: Good household skills, 

common sense and a good level of general 

competence with computers are required. 


Job Title: Graduation Photography Assistants 

Employer: Success Photography 

Closing date: None given- Apply ASAP 

Salary: £70 for each full working day 

Basic job description: Success Photography 

are the official Graduation Photographers 

for Newcastle University. We are looking for 

20 helpful individuals to assist us during the 

seven days of the graduation ceremonies. 

Your main responsibilities will include assisting 

the photographers, directing people to 

the studios, helping on the sales desk. You 

will need to attend a 1 hour training session 

on Sunday 8th July. Full working days will be: 

9th – 13th and 16th – 17th July 2012 (7am 

start, 7pm finish). 

Person requirements: Smart, friendly, outgoing, 

individuals with excellent spoken and 

written English required. Must be available 

for all 7 days of work. 


Job Title: Sales Assistant 

Employer: Van Mildert 



Basic job description: A Sales Assistant is 

required to work 8 hours per week at the 

store in the Metrocentre. Duties include 

stock replenishment, liaising with customers, 

meeting targets and all other general 

store duties. You will be working evenings 

and weekends. 

Person requirements: Must have previous 

retail experience and good communication 

skills. A high level of customer service is 

required, along with brand knowledge within 

the target market preferable. 


Job Title: Ambassadors 

Employer: Uni Car Ads 


Salary: £30 per month 

Basic job description: Uni Car Ads allows 

great company. A couple were attractive 

but there was no real spark there for either 

of us. We went to dinner but didn’t 

take it any further.” 

The 22-year-old graduate from London 

told of meeting a man in his late 

forties who earned several million 

pounds a year: “We entered into what 

the site calls a mutually beneficial arrangement. 

“We were boyfriend and girlfriend 

but I was paid £2,500 a month, which 

was more than enough to cover my bills 

while I pursued my career in film.” 

Brandon Wade, the owner of the site, 

has become a self-made millionaire 

since the website was launched six years 

ago. “Your new tuition fees have been 

great for business,” he said. 

“We’ve had a huge influx of beautiful, 

highly educated young women.” 

businesses to get a strong clear message 

into the student population. We place 

adverts on private cars in densely populated 

student areas. The cars are parked along 

routes that students most frequently walk 

down. Uni Car Ads is still looking for car owners 

- we have 70 cars on the road at present 

with adverts on them and we are looking 

for more ambassadors. Make your car work 

for you. 

Person requirements: Car owner. 


Job Title: Teaching Assistant 

Employer: Gateshead Council 


Salary: £16,054 - £16,830 pro rata 

Basic job description: Swalwell Primary 

School would like to appoint a hardworking 

and dedicated Level 2 teaching assistant 

from September 2012. Staff will be 

responsible for the specialist care and 

development of physically disabled children, 

working alongside the class teacher. You will 

be required to work 16 hours per week. 

Person requirements: The candidate must 

be willing to participate in specific training to 

ensure full integration of physically disabled 

children in the mainstream setting. 


Job Title: Administrator - Flexible Hours 

Employer: LetsLiveHere 



Basic job description: An Administrator is required 

to work in the Heaton office over the 

summer. The job will commence at the end 

of May and will last until mid-September. 

Your main duties will consist of: General admin 

work including copying files, answering 

phones, and completing tenant references. 

Also, during specific days checking houses 

at the end of tenancies and instructing 

cleaners. 

Person requirements: We need someone 

with the ability to work by themselves but 

also part of the team. You will be asked to 

complete tasks in a certain amount of time. 

You must be available to work on the following 

dates: 30th June, 1st and 31st July, 1st 

and 31st August and 1st September. You 

will also need access to your own car. 


nationalstudentnews.9 

Angry reaction 

after alcohol-free 

zone plans 

By Clare Atkinson 

London Metropolitan University 

Students at London Metropolitan University 

have reacted angrily to the proposals 

by Vice-Chancellor Professor 

Malcolm Gillies to create alcohol-free 

zones on campus. 

The plans, which were covered in 

The Courier last week, are said to reflect 

“cultural sensitivity” for 

the Muslim students of the 

university, who make 

up around 20% of the 

student population. 

In a recent conference, 

Gillie 

said that for 

many students, 

drinking alcohol 

was “immoral”. 

However, 

representatives 

from the 

university’s Students’ 

Union said 

that the comments 

had “offended” Muslim 

students and refuted 

claims that there had 

been any calls to create alcoholfree 

areas. 

“He should retract the comments and 

apologise to the students he has offended,” 

said Claire Locke, a Students’ Union 

representative. 

“I think it’s been extremely unhelpful. 

I don’t think the Vice-Chancellor has 

thought this through properly.” 

Halls evacuated 

after bomb hoax 

emails 

Bristol University 

Five universities 

across the country 

were contacted 

last 

week with 

anonymous 

tip-offs regarding 

bombs on 

their campuses. 

At the University 

of Bristol 

in particular 

this caused serious 

upheaval, as 

hundreds of students 

were evacuated from 

their halls of residence. 

The Metropolitan Police stated that 

the University of Bristol received an 

“anonymous warning email that is now 

being treated as a hoax”. 

Nick Boyce, Community Beat Manager 

for the University of Bristol, revealed 

the details of the anonymous email: 

“Two small bombs are hidden in Wills 

and Durdham Halls. They will explode 

later today. Take this warning very seriously.” 

Students were evacuated from the 

halls in question while the police and 

security services searched the area, 

which was declared clear. 

Photography: Peter Huys and 

Melanie Girouard(Flickr) 

Chaos on P&O 

ferry caused by 

students 

Manchester University 

Over 200 Manchester University students 

caused “drunken mayhem” on 

board a P&O ferry from Dover to Calais 

during the Easter break. 

Passengers noted that most of the 

students were “clearly drunk” and the 

group were reported to have exposed 

themselves in the bar of the ferry, before 

later causing a fight to break out. 

All other passengers, including many 

young families, were removed from the 

bar, so as to be “out of harm’s 

way”. 

A P&O spokeswoman 

said the behaviour 

was “wholly 

unacceptable” 

and refused 

to transport 

any of the 

students for 

their return 

journey. 

This is just 

one example 

of the problems 

ferry 

and crosschannel 

services 

experience with 

drunken students 

over the Easter period, 

as coaches travel to various 

parts of Europe. 

Warwick and 

Queen Mary set 

to merge 

Warwick University 

A new partnership is on the cards between 

Warwick University and Queen 

Mary, University of London. 

The partnership, described by Th e 

Guardian as “the closest alliance yet 

between two universities” will 

involve shared lectures, research 

and cultural festivals. 

Academics from 

both institutions will 

teach in the other’s 

English, History 

and Science departments. 

Professor Nigel 

Thrift, Vice- 

Chancellor 

of Warwick, 

described it as 

a globally-connected 

university 

which chose 

to form close partnerships 

with “a select 

group of institutions” in 

order to make real impacts 

on global issues. 

Notts most 

popular UK uni 

University of Nottingham 

The University of Nottingham has been 

declared the UK’s most popular university, 

having received the most applications 

this year. 

Statistics revealed by the Universities 

and Colleges Admissions Service 

(UCAS) showed that despite a national 

downturn of 8.7% in overall applications, 

Nottingham saw a 0.3% rise in 

applications.


.11 

Comment 

Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie 

May Beever 

Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance 

courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk 

How far 

would you 

go for extra 

cash? 

With students increasingly feeling the 

pinch, one female undergrad tells Th e 

Courier how her controversial part-time 

job isn’t as dumb as many assume 

Image: Mhatma (Flickr) 

SUSIE MAY 

BEEVER 

COMMENT 

EDITOR 

What do you think of 

when someone says club 

promoter? The general 

consensus amongst students 

seems to be: countless facebook 

invites to places you’ve never even been, 

friend requests from people you’ve never 

even heard of and last minute disappointments 

upon arriving at the venue 

to find out that you still have to pay the 

full fiver to get in. 

However, times are austere, and it is 

undeniable that students will do pretty 

much anything to get their hands on a 

bit of extra cash these days. The prospect 

of searching for a part-time job seems 

to be another thing which students are 

having to add to the never-ending list of 

problems to worry about. But how far 

would you go for extra cash? 

Recent ‘promo girl’ recruitment in 

well-known student establishments 

is an increasingly popular choice as a 

part-time job. Female students are expected 

to don a uniform of shorts, vest 

tops or in some extreme cases, bikinis 

and PVC leotards. 

Many see the job as ‘seedy’ and a 

‘glorified form of stripping.’ However, 

given the chance, a job based purely 

on good looks and people skills as opposed 

to tangible qualifications seems a 

much more favourable option to some 

students. 

One female undergraduate, who preferred 

to remain anonymous, was approached 

by the manager of a popular 

student venue in the centre of Newcastle. 

“He messaged me on facebook 

asking if I wanted a job dancing a few 

nights a week. I was pretty apprehensive 

at first but second thoughts led me to 

accept the job. I wasn’t pushed into doing 

anything, and it sounded like fun.” 

The issue itself, of course, is undoubtedly 

controversial; ‘promo girls’ have 

been previously blasted by feminists 

who describe it as both objectifying 

and exploiting women. But surely this 

is missing the point: both men and 

women take on these roles, yet any job 

involving women in skimpy outfits is 

always going to cause a furore. Promotion 

dancers aren’t employed to shimmy 

up and down a pole for a few blokes to 

gawp at, the job is pretty much as it says 

on the tin - to create a fun atmosphere 

and promote the night. 

The student added, “All the other 

dancers I’ve spoken to are there for the 

money, not the self-glorification. You 

might argue that it’s objectifying, but is 

it any different to some people you see 

out in Newcastle who pretty much go 

out in their underwear anyway?” 

With an average night’s takings of up 

to £60, unlimited free drinks and ‘V.I.P. 

treatment’, it becomes harder to see the 

flaws of the job when staff on the other 

side of the bar may be earning less than 

half the figure for far more physically 

taxing work. 

Besides, where do you draw the line 

between promotional dancers and some 

high street clothing chains, who recruit 

staff purely on the basis of looks and 

dress sense, as opposed to simple skills 

such as numeracy? 

Fitting the job around her full-time 

You may argue it’s objectifying, 

but is it any different to some 

people you see who pretty much 

go out in their underwear 

anyway? 

degree, she told me, “It works out so 

much better than any other part time 

job, I’m basically just being paid to go 

out a couple of nights a week, which is 

pretty much what students do around 

their weekly routine anyway. I’ll certainly 

be keeping it on, if I work two 

nights a week I can earn enough money 

to pay for my bills, as well as it contributing 

to my weekly rent.” 

One thing is for certain, promotional 

dancing as a part-time source of income 

has more perks to it than it sounds. 

There’s no obligation to dance on the 

podiums, and wages are paid tax-free 

on a cash-in-hand basis at the end of the 

night. 

“I won’t be putting it on my CV, obviously, 

not because I feel it’s in any way 

degrading but because it’s not relevant 

to future employers. But then what 

manual and low-skill part-time job is?” 

“Dirty looks” were described as something 

which came with the job, but the 

student did tell me her only worry. 

“I do fear that it’ll come back to bite 

me later on in my career, the job doesn’t 

faze me but it might if anyone else 

found out. Things always come back 

to bite you, and it’s not fair that a socalled 

scandal like this could jeopardise 

women’s careers when it only seems to 

glorify men’s.” I could certainly see her 

point, but surely every job has its pros 

and cons. 

One thing is for certain: part-time jobs 

in no way have to be relevant or beneficial 

to careers later on in life. Promotional 

dancing could be considered the 

equivalent to any other part-time job 

when it comes to earning a bit of money 

on the side, so why should women in 

particular worry about the later consequences? 

By making it an issue, we are 

ultimately spinning it out to be a taboo 

issue.

12.comment 

Monday 30 April 2012 Th eCourier 

It’s time for reform in the House of Lords 

AMY 

SHIELDS 

The impression I have always 

had is that the House of 

Lords consists of a group of 

upper-class, bumbling morons 

whose existence is anachronistic. I 

therefore started this piece convinced of 

the need to abolish it immediately. 

However, having considered the proposals 

offered up to us by a recent government 

report, I am no longer so sure. 

Whilst some reform is necessary to ensure 

that the House of Lords represents 

modern Britain, neither abolition nor 

the current proposals would be satisfactory. 

The reforms that the government are 

suggesting at the moment are incomplete 

to say the least. While they make 

grand claims to be making the UK’s 

governing bodies more democratic, the 

plans in fact do little more than describe 

the new structures of a second elected 

chamber. For example, it is being proposed 

that 80% of the members should 

be elected, they should only sit for fifteen 

years and should get a salary. But 

there appears to be little that explains 

how the balance between two democratically 

elected Houses will actually 

work. 

The House of Lords is fundamental to 

our political set-up, and any reform, especially 

to a largely elected chamber, is 

monumental. Having a second elected 

chamber seems to me to be pointless 

and unnecessary; the House of Commons 

already, in theory, represents the 

people as a whole. The purpose of the 

House of Lords is to review and amend 

The House of 

Lords is 

fundamental to 

our constitution, 

and any reform 

would be 

monumental 

laws, and that should remain its chief 

purpose. By filling it with party politics, 

it is likely to lose this role and instead 

simply create deadlock with the House 

of Commons when they disagree on 

particular subjects. 

Currently, the House of Lords consists 

of those with considerable expertise. 

Most members are life peers, who have 

therefore built up decades of experience 

in governmental procedures. Knowledge 

and experience in our often transient 

political system is not necessarily 

a negative thing. After all, following the 

majority vote isn’t always the best thing 

to do, and having a chamber that can 

recognise that may be in the country’s 

best interests. 

However, there are aspects that ought 

to be resolved immediately. In a multicultural 

and secular society, it seems absurd 

that there are currently 26 “Lords 

Spiritual” drawn from the Church of 

England. Modern laws should not have 

to be vetted by a religion which cannot 

claim to stand for the entirety of the 

population. Also the whole concept of 

life peerages ought to be reformed as 

it can lead to members who are out of 

touch. Backward, unrepresentative aspects 

such as these urgently need to be 

addressed to drag the House of Lords 

out of the nineteenth century and into 

line with modern Britain. 

Some reform is definitely necessary 

to ensure that the House of Lords is accessible 

to, and more representative of, 

modern society. However, it should not 

become a fully elected Upper Chamber. 

Ultimately though, it is unlikely the 

House of Lords will experience any significant 

reform. The last hundred years 

has witnessed multiple attempts to push 

through changes that have all failed. After 

all, it would be unexpected for the 

Lords to approve their own demise. 

Behind the mask of Anonymous 

ELLIOT 

BENTLEY 

Another week, another group 

of ‘hackers’ attacking websites 

and stealing personal 

information. The latest is 

‘MalSec’, who claim to be a force for 

good and provide their victims with 

helpful security tips. According to the 

media, they are yet another splinter 

group of ‘Anonymous’, who have been 

in and out of the headlines for the past 

few years. But who is this group, how 

are they producing so many offshoots, 

and more importantly, what do they 

want? 

Well, the first thing you need to understand 

about Anonymous is that it 

isn’t a regular organisation with a leader, 

or even an overall aim. Perhaps the best 

way to describe Anonymous is to trace 

it back to the online message boards it 

originates from, the biggest of which is 

undoubtedly 4chan.org (specifically the 

“random” board, or “/b/”) which allows 

anyone to post without registering. 

As well as classic memes like ‘lolcats’ 

and ‘rick rolling’ (as well as, unfortunately, 

the swapping of child porn), 

these anonymous forums bred an anarchic 

culture of “raids” - flooding other 

message boards or breaking into MySpace 

accounts to cause general havoc. 

The idea is that one person will suggest 

an idea, and if it’s good enough others 

will follow. Since these message boards 

are anonymous, the only way to lead is 

to inspire others. 

Initial raids organised on /b/ were 

childish and unsophisticated pranks 

like annoying users of Habbo Hotel 

en masse or prank-calling radio shows 

with hosts they disliked. But Anonymous 

- as members of /b/ had begun 

to call themselves - hit headlines when 

they moved into the real world in an 

attempt to protest against Scientology, 

donning V for Vendetta masks and 

protesting outside Scientology centres 

around the world - all in response to 

the censorship of a leaked video of Tom 

Cruise extolling the virtues of his faith. 

See, if there’s one thing most members 

of Anonymous believe in, it’s the right 

to post anything they want - whether 

that be funny pictures of cats, internal 

films belonging to secretive religions, or 

someone’s Facebook login details. It’s an 

extreme form of anti-censorship where 

anything goes (in part because there 

aren’t any consequences when posting 

something anonymously online). 

This means that Anonymous isn’t an 

organisation as such: some would describe 

it as a virally-spreading idea, or 

a vision of a lawless anarchic internet 

- but that’s the romantic view. Anonymous 

is also out “for the lulz”, their political 

activity frequently overshadowed 

by a love of jokes and media attention. 

This side of Anonymous was best 

manifested by the short-lived LulzSec, a 

hacker group, who unlike Anonymous, 

consisted of a tight inner-group with 

a leadership structure. They gained 

global media attention after a series of 

high-profile but unspectacular hacks, 

including the CIA website, and cracking 

jokes on their wildly popular twitter 

feed. (The group unravelled with a 

surprise “retirement” after 50 days and 

arrests of several ringleaders.) 

Although LulzSec were originally a 

splinter group of Anonymous in the 

sense that they held the same antiestablishment 

views, they never pretended 

to be part of the group itself. But 

what happens when one person decides 

to hide behind the mask of Anonymous 

for their own personal vendetta? 

Back in March, British hacker James 

Jeffery stole a database containing the 

personal details of 10,000 women who 

had registered with the British Pregnancy 

Advisory Service. Jeffery, who 

was later arrested and sentenced to 32 

months of jail, defaced the site with the 

Anonymous logo and a statement that 

said: “An unborn child does not have 

an opinion, a choice or any rights. Who 

gave you the right to murder an unborn 

child and profit from that murder?” 

Here’s the difficult bit: does that make 

it a work of Anonymous? When a single 

person uses its logo for their own 

pet project, are they legitimately acting 

as Anonymous, or merely pretending 

to be the group? It’s difficult to say, but 

certainly just reporting Jeffery as a mere 

“member of Anonymous” seems to be 

missing part of the picture. 

It’s a big topic, but hopefully we’re a bit 

clearer about what Anonymous actually 

is. It’s not an organised criminal gang, 

it’s a social movement, a well-marketed 

geek brand and a mask for internet vigilantes 

to hide behind. It’s also sadly becoming 

just another antagonist for the 

NOT A REGULAR 

ORGANISATION 

Members of the online hacking 

group ‘Anonymous’ 

Image: Anonymous9000 

(Flickr) 

media to scare people with. I say ‘sadly’ 

not only because it’s a fudging of the 

facts, but because the truth is infinitely 

more interesting.


comment.13 

THE NEWS 

THAT MADE ME 

EMILY 

RAE 

#8 - Cringe 

Should we turn the lights up 

on Freshers’ year-long party? 

When I saw a certain news article this 

week I just knew I had to write about it. 

As I started to read it, I began to cringe, 

imagining it had been my name hitting 

the headlines. 

Recently investment banker David 

Merkur found himself under the media 

spotlight when his meticulous spreadsheet, 

which chronicled all the dates he’d 

had since joining the popular dating site 

match.com, became a viral sensation. 

But what kind of person would keep 

a chart carefully detailing such intimate 

details? 

Me. From my first pull with a sexy 

Spanish exchange to my first proper 

boyfriend I kept a “Snog Log”. Yes, I 

even had that written as the title, crafted 

in bubble writing and carefully filled in 

with felt tip. Date, Occasion and Location 

of each conquest. This was kept at 

the back of a diary I kept sporadically 

throughout secondary school. 

Luckily for me, this top secret information 

has never been found. However, 

after Merkur’s spreadsheet came up in 

conversation on one of his dates, he 

was persuaded to send it to her. Naively, 

he emailed, “I hope this e-mail doesn’t 

backfire, because I really had a great 

time and hope to hang again soon.” But 

who would keep such a gem from their 

friends? 

I’m not sure whether the spreadsheet 

is genuinely an honest attempt to stay 

organised, or just plain creepy. I’m just 

glad my own colour-coded chart hasn’t 

been thrown to the media. Whilst at 

school, I used to have nightmares about 

a Mean Girls-esque ending and told 

myself I’d have to change schools if my 

Snog Log (still cringing) was ever distributed. 

The only reason I’m happy to 

write about it is that none of the guys 

listed go to Newcastle University. Although 

who knows about the mysterious 

“fitty in shades”... 

Poor David Merkur had no idea his 

spreadsheet would spiral across the Internet. 

But what I don’t understand is 

why he thought his spreadsheet, detailing 

appearance rating, dates of meetings 

and plans with other ladies, would impress 

the woman who asked to see it. He 

is pretty complimentary about the other 

ladies; describing one woman as “looks 

beautiful” and the worst being “mixed 

bag of pictures, but great bod”. I think 

the media would have taken a different 

angle if he’d been sleazier. 

In my diary entries, I bared my soul 

in the expectation that my future self 

would look back and pity my younger 

self. Little did I know I’d be grimacing 

with embarrassment and sharing 

the details for a newspaper audience. 

Touchingly, one page merely details the 

simple line, “I am so hurt.” However, 

this is followed by the chavvy: “He bl8s 

ent interested”, which kinda ruins the 

heartfelt confession of the previous line. 

David Merkur’s brief comments seem 

indifferent in comparison. Although he 

details the dates following successful 

communications, “A few conversations 

in mid-March; several Facebook and 

text chats”, the lack of enthusiasm behind 

his comments suggest that he felt 

no genuine connection with any of the 

ladies listed. 

In fact, as my diary and Snog Log continued, 

the amount of entries decreased 

and eventually tailed off when I found 

someone I really liked. Although games 

and the chase go hand in hand with 

dating, I think Merkur should stop attempting 

to date multiple women at the 

same time. After all, if he really liked 

someone he wouldn’t need a spread- 

Following a motion put forward at Union Council, 

the Students’ Union are currently holding a referendum on 

whether first year marks should count towards overall 

degree classification. We asked two students their thoughts. 

YES 

SALLY 

PRIDDLE 

Before I start I would just like to 

add a little disclaimer: I am not 

a complete geek that does nothing 

but work. I have friends and 

something of a social life (though that 

has deteriorated throughout third year) 

but despite all this I still believe that first 

year should count towards the degree. 

Particularly with the new fees, surely 

wasting £9,000 of doing nothing much 

doesn’t seem worthwhile? I know for 

a fact that some of my housemates’ attendance 

in first year was around 30% 

and they didn’t care what score they got 

as long as it was 40% or above, but then 

they had no reason to attend more lectures 

and no reason to put the work in 

to get higher marks. 

I believe that by making your first 

year count then you could be slowly integrated 

into the university way of life 

and the different style of studying and 

marking in a way that would still require 

some effort. 

I am not accusing all students of not 

putting work in for their first year essays 

and exams, but let’s not deny we 

all know someone who didn’t, and I 

am sure some of them might have got 

a shock in second year (or even third 

year) with what working was like and 

how differently things are marked at 

university. 

I don’t think that first year should be 

given an even spilt with second year, 

but I think a 10%, 30% and then 60% 

divide would provide people with the 

best chance of quickly getting into the 

university way of life. 

I know what people will argue, first 

year allows people to let their hair down 

and learn how to live on their own away 

from their parents, and I love Sinners as 

much as the next person, but surely this 

is teaching people the wrong attitude towards 

life and, more importantly, work. 

For those who don’t care about their 

degrees, scraping through and putting 

in the same minimal effort for three 

years may be fine, but I don’t see why I 

should put in effort in first year if I am 

not getting anything out of it. 

Some also argue that first year gives 

people the chance to get up to scratch 

with each other, giving those who didn’t 

study certain things at A-level the opportunity 

to catch up, but why should 

certain people be given the year off? 

I don’t think that £9,000 is a worthwhile 

fee to spend for a year out, especially 

with the number of students 

taking a gap year before they come to 

university - where they will have probably 

already learnt what independent 

living was - so I don’t see why people 

would need to take another one. 

Or for those that didn’t take a gap 

year, having to actually do some work 

on their degree would help keep some 

continuity between life before and life at 

university. 

I believe that making first year count 

would be beneficial for people and 

their degree in the long run. If it only 

counted for 10% then if there were any 

low grades, they wouldn’t count enough 

to affect the overall degree, but people 

would still be more inclined to put effort 

in. For £9,000 a year, particularly 

for degrees where teaching hours are 

minimal, I think that people deserve 

something out of first year 

NO 

JOSEPH 

WOOD 

Stage one should in no way count 

towards a student’s overall degree. 

If it did count, a person’s 

university experience would be 

altered in ways which every student (or 

person who has ever been a student) 

can sympathise with. 

For thousands of students who enter 

university, they are living away from 

home and independently for the first 

time. From personal experience alone, 

the stresses of moving from your home 

into a new city and surviving are massive. 

Therefore it would be ludicrous to 

burden first year students with the added 

pressure and responsibility of having 

their first year count. 

The first year of university should 

revolve around new experiences, discovering 

what things appeal to you and 

what things do not. It is a year to explore 

and decide which routes you want 

to take, both in your particular course 

and more generally in life. 

If this more relaxed year in which to 

choose these directions did not exist, 

there would be far less opportunity to 

explore, find new challenges and make 

mistakes. And surely this would be a 

huge disadvantage in terms of students’ 

development. 

There is also the important point to 

make that much of what is learned in 

BEGINNING OF 

THE END? 

First years during Freshers’ 

Week at the Students’ Union 

Photography: 

Moises Bedrossian 

Stage 1 is used for the benefit of the next 

few years. Mistakes can be made with 

little heartache in the first year as they 

are lessons in what to do right and how 

to hone your skills. 

This is vital to provide students with 

the potential for improving what they 

do, without the pressure of not achieving 

the degree classification they desire. 

Yet if the first year counted, that fantastic 

opportunity to better your skills and 

make mistakes which will be useful in 

the future would be lost. 

What must be remembered is that 

university is so far removed from simply 

being about the academic, it is a chance 

to do things that you never would. And 

in no year more than the first year of 

university is this true. 

With the freedom of not having to 

consider your final degree there are vast 

numbers of other things you can do 

with that lessened amount of pressure. 

Even if you don’t join any clubs or societies, 

with nightlife like Newcastle’s 

you will require a year minimum to 

learn how to fit lectures and seminars 

around migraines and bouts of incomprehensible 

nausea, which in itself is 

one of life’s invaluable lessons. 

In the end, it would just not seem fit 

for the first year to lose its carefree nature. 

Without that year, where any night 

might be the weekend or where every 

lecture is always half unattended, then 

the years to follow it would be all the 

same. However, because the first year 

doesn’t count and you have the chance 

to do whatever it is you want to, you 

can look forward to the following years 

without feeling pressured by the fact 

they count. 

Follow us on Twitter: 

@CourierComment 

@CourierOnlne

14. 



You’re 

hired! 

Photography: Yordanka Georgieva 

Move over Alan Sugar, there are some 

new entrepreneurs in town. (And 

they’re not selling beetroot either). 

Editor Kat Bannon caught up with three groups 

of students that, as part of the Business Enterprise 

module, have established their own Newcastlegrown 

businesses set to take the Toon by storm. 

Pamper 

me pretty 

Serendipity is set to 

make the cost of a trip to 

the hairdressers or beauty 

salon a pleasant surprise 

Even students need to take care of themselves 

every once in a while, so that’s why all-girl group 

Lucy Saville, Erika Coakley, Bequia Prestt, Helena 

Walah and Rachel McCumiskey have produced 

the ‘Pamper Card’, offering exclusive discounts in 

beauty salons and hairdressers across Newcastle. 

Priced at £6, they offer a year’s worth of reducedpriced 

deals and offers, and already have the highly 

popular Boilerhouse in Jesmond as well as Blow on 

Northumberland Street on board. However, not 

happy being left out, they’ve also received interest 

from some of Osboure Road’s bars, such as Blanc. 

The idea is based on the Mojo and Q-Jump 

cards, which, although prove popular with Freshers’ 

(mainly because they don’t know any better), 

aren’t particularly well-used around Newcastle. 

“This is something people will actually remember 

to take advantage of,” says Lucy. 

In their preliminary research they produced a 

number of questionnaires for people to complete 

in order to try and gauge what the response would 

be. All given to girls, obviously. 

Although there was the occasional hitch: 

“The cards took longer to arrive than expected 

which delayed the process quite a bit. Looking 

back we definitely would have planned our time a 

bit better.” 

Already on sale in Boilerhouse and planned 

for a huge push in Freshers’ Week, ‘Serendipity’ 

are ready to prove that looking good for less is no 

happy coincidence with their Pamper Card. 

Photography: Yordanka Georgieva



.15 

“We want it to 

become a necessity 

of student life” 

Making student 

life a playground 

Fed-up of over-active facebooks, these five have 

created an app that’s designed to let you know 

what you want, when you want, and give you rewards 

for it too. The best bit? No more wondering 

when Osboure Road Happy Hours are. 

(from left) 

Charlotte Ellerby, 

Tim Plail and 

Felicity Macleod- 

Arnold show off 

the app. Photography: 

Yordanka 

Georgieva 

‘Student Playground’ is a free, exclusive app 

aimed at students from both Northumbria and 

Newcastle. It provides information not only from 

the city’s bars, clubs, culture, health and beauty as 

well as the surrounding student areas of Jesmond, 

Heaton and Sandyford, but exclusive deals and 

discounts too. 

Well aware that facebook has become saturated 

with event requests, notifications, more event 

requests and even more notifications, then also 

the popularity of discounting super giants such 

as Groupon and Living Social Deals, Tim Plail, 

Charlotte Ellerby, Paul Lake, Lewis Crosby and 

Felicity Macleod-Arnold set out to create a 

high-quality product that would combine both 

information and offers. 

The idea is that businesses can advertise their 

services to those who have the app, but then, 

more importantly for the user, give them one-off, 

adhoc deals to a specific audience, known as ‘push 

notifications’ for a limited period of time. 

It’s great for businesses because it provides 24- 

hour advertising, but it’s also great for the student 

because they can customize their app how they 

like, meaning they wont receive notifications from 

places they know they’re not interested in. 

Although, it’s most innovative feature is definitely 

the interactive streetview. GPS can map and 

mark the user’s location, pushing the deals closest 

to where they are at that particular time. 

“This is a high quality product,” says Tim, “students 

can cater and customize it to their needs. 

“At the moment students are constantly faced 

with a number of facebook events, but your activity 

doesn’t make a difference - whether you click 

attending or maybe or whatever. However this 

product rewards loyalty. 

“It’s great for businesses because they can target 

a specific audience, at very short notice too. Say 

Newcastle have a number of tickets left one Saturday 

- in a click they can be offered at a reduced 

price to a certain amount of students who’ve 

already expressed an interest. It also gives details 

as to how long offers are valid for. However, there 

is also a limited number of ‘push notifications’ 

businesses can send too, ensuring they’re always 

worthwhile offers.” 

The app ‘home’ screen carries all the details of 

the latest offers, including how far away the deal is 

and how much longer it can be claimed for. 

They’ve already received a keen level of interest 

from a number of bars, clubs and restaurants as 

well as cinemas. Taxis are their next port of call: 

“We want to become a necessity of student life.” 

Other core information handy for student life 

is set to be logged, such as library and Students’ 

Union opening hours. 

Having secured investment, the app is currently 

under its main development, and will hopefully 

be ready within the next 2-3 weeks. The actual 

length of the products implementation was not 

something overally anticipated by the team, nor 

was the general reaction to the concept: 

“We weren’t sure what to expect at all, then 

began to realise how much credibility the idea 

actually had. 

“When we were first approached by businesses 

we were carried away, and really excited, really 

quickly. 

“We’ve been to breakfast and all day boardroom 

meetings, even headed down to Lincoln and Middlesborough 

to meet with potential investors. 

“Looking back we realise how naive we were to 

begin, some of the deals we were offered didn’t 

even add up or make sense.” 

Now working with a Tyneside company, they’re 

preparing for their launch in Freshers’ Week. 

“A lot relies on then. Luckily as Northumbria’s 

and Newcastle’s are staggered it gives us time to 

target both audiences, but Freshers’ Week will play 

a big part as to whether we get this idea off the 

ground!” 

Day Trippers 

‘Trip It 2’ is day -tripping company created by 

George Squires, Jamie Levrant, Max Mcleod 

Rebecca Ward and Oliver Morgan Williams. 

When first set the task of producing their own 

business, they weren’t quite sure which direction 

to head first. Changing track, they decided to 

focus on audience rather product, and settled their 

sights on international students here at Newcastle. 

“We thought there was definitely a market to 

take them on trips around the UK that they might 

not be able to enjoy or experience otherwise. Short 

day trips that wont break the bank, or have to be 

booked miles in advance,” said George. 

Confident in the knowledge that something 

similar had already been done by students before, 

and worked, they were also aware that day trips 

were something often held by the University and 

similar. 

Therefore, competitively low prices was their 

first priority, as were incentives such as reduced 

entry to landmarks and cultural activities as well as 

travel refreshments. Although, they’re still waiting 

to hear back from Greggs as to whether they’ll be 

willing to provide any on-the-road pasties. 

Their first venture, and most successful trip so 

far, was to Edinburgh in February. Knowing this 

city had been marked as a point of student interest 

before, it was a safe option. Then, knowing what 

those previous trips had offered, they set to top it, 

offering even more value for money. 

The trip was priced at £19.95 which included 

for coach travel to and from Edinburgh, and then 

exclusive discounted entry to Edinburgh Castle 

in addition to regular of student discount, they 

booked out over 20 places, and received a lot of 

praise from those who ventured North of the 

border: 

“We had good feedback from the Edinburgh 

trip,” says Squires, “Those who attended thought 

we had a good approach to the day, that we were 

organised, helpful and informative. 

“Obviously we conducted research through 

questionnaires - we wanted to know what locations 

or types of trips really appealed to students, 

and where they’d like to go next.” 

The next day they organised was to Liverpool, 

which, although they spent a much longer time 

promoting, didn’t get enough interest to go ahead, 

which they attributed to the lengthy travel time. 

Their next focus is on a shorter radius, places like 

Trip It 2 makes day outs as easy as the name 

suggests: They don’t break the bank, and don’t 

have to be booked miles in advance either. 

Bambaragh castle, Alnwick and York. However, 

the group itself is keen to highlight the idea that 

Trip it 2 doesn’t have to be about cities, but also activities 

and interesting places. The name itself has 

an open-ended nature that promotes its versatility. 

“It’s meant to be a colloquialism” says George, “I 

adapted it from the idea of legging it somewhere. 

We wanted something that would catch on.” 

Although the majority of the group are away 

on placement years come September, there is a 

definite sense that this is something they can pick 

up again when they come back to Newcastle. 

“There’s a lot of opportunity to make partnerships 

with clubs and societies, both to promote 

each other and provide them with value for 

money.” 

The project in general, has, in George’s words, 

“given us the opportunity to develop real business 

minds. It’s really about thinking from a customers 

perspective, and performing well. 

“It’s made me realise how much you need to 

have confidence in what you’re selling.” 

Then, there is the merchandise they’ve been 

yet to make full use of: “We haven’t really had a 

chance to wear our gilets yet.” 

Trip It 2’s next trip is paintballing 

on the 9 May for £22.89. The 

price includes return transport, 

entry, equipment hire, extra 

body armour, 100 free 

paintballs, refreshments 

and an extra 

200 paintballs 

for £10 (28% 

discount). 

Email 

george. 

squires@ 

ncl. 

ac.uk 

for 

tickets.


16. 

Fabulously 

festival 

Proving life’s a beach in Tynemouth 

with a day of sun, sea and summer chic 

Photography by Moises Bedrossian 

Modelled by Rosie Leatherland (right) and Tillie Paul (left) 

Make up by Abi Heath 

Hair styling by Catherine Hadfi eld 

Directed by Abi Heath and Victoria Mole 

Pink bikini top by New Look, £5.99 

Blue bandeau by New Look, £2.99 

Orange top by New Look, £14.99 

Blue top by Topshop, £10 

Orange shorts by Topshop, £22 

Purple playsuit by Topshop, £35 

Pink shorts by Republic, £30 

Floral playsuit by Republic, £30 

Wellies from a vintage shop, £25 

Sandals by Asda, £10


.17

18.UKfestivalpreview 

Simply the fest 

A round-up of the 

best student budgetfriendly 

festivals from 

around the UK 

Planning which festivals to go to over the summer can be a real problem. 

Where are they? How much do they cost? Who’s playing? Will 

you be surrounded by kids, parents or students? There’s a lot to 

consider. But fear not, here we’ve got the low-down on our pick of 

UK summer festivals that won’t break the bank 

Parklife 

Where? Platt Fields, Manchester 

When? June 9 and 10 

How much? £64.50 for the weekend or £38.50 

for a day 

Who’ll enjoy it? Edgy Radio 1 listeners trying 

to make the leap to 6 Music 

Rough Beats Festival 

Where? Near the village of Clapham, Yorkshire 

When? June 8-10 

How much? £65 

Who’ll enjoy it? Those looking for the best new 

artists in a more intimate festival setting. 

Ever wanted to see bands like Pulled Apart By 

Horses, Django Django, Mausi, Black Cherry 

and Gruff Rhys at a festival without having to 

either view the stage from several miles away 

or risk being trampled to death by a horde of 

drunken 17-year-olds? Well, Rough Beats may 

be the festival for you. 

This festival brings you some of the best 

new artists on one fantastic lineup, all whilst 

playing to a more reasonably sized crowd, 

which maintains the festival atmosphere, but 

still keeps the whole experience feeling very 

personal and intimate. Alongside such a strong 


Win: Rough Beats tickets! 

The folks over at Rough Beats festival have given us a pair of weekend tickets to give away to one 

lucky reader! All you have to do is answer the following question and send the answer over to us at: 

c2.music@ncl.ac.uk 

Q. Which fruit can’t wait to dance the night away at Rough Beats festival? 

(Hint: Check out their website - http://www.roughbeatsfestival.co.uk/ ) 

bunch of headliners, other bands to look out 

for at the festival include Francois & The Atlas 

Mountains, BBC 6Music’s Craig Charles, 

Lovely Eggs and Newcastle’s own Mausi. 

If the lineup alone isn’t enough to entice you, 

the setting of the festival will; set in the heart 

of the Yorkshire Dales, camping in this region 

is breathtaking enough. Add to that experience 

the music, the comedy and theatre acts in store 

and the student-friendly price tag, you have 

possibly one of the best festival experiences to 

look forward to this summer. 

Chris Scott 

Parklife Festival is a pretty all over the place 

festival this year. Not in a bad way, just that it’s 

incredibly hard to pigeonhole it. Still only in its 

third year, it’s gone from being small potatoes 

to one of the festivals people look forward to 

every year, which probably has something to 

do with its excellently diverse line up. 

They’ve picked the cream of the crop the 

Radio 1 lot love, from Madeon to Sub Focus 

to even Dizzee Rascal (he’s still around?) and 

slapped them alongside more interesting 

choices such as The Flaming Lips, Factory 

Floor and The Field. I suppose they’re getting 

the best of new and obscure left field music 

together but I never expected to see The Flaming 

Lips next to Dizzee Rascal on a poster. I 

guess that’s what Parklife is about. It’s probably 

one of the more eclectic line ups of 2012. With 

newer bands such as Spector alongside staples 

such as Justice, Parklife has something for just 

about everyone. And at £64 for a weekend 

ticket, even if there’s just one large band you 

fancy seeing, it’s probably worth the money! 

Chris Taylor 

Beach Break Live 

Where? Second left after Middle Earth, Pembrey 

Country Park, South Wales 


How much? £115, peanuts for four days of first 

class music and entertainment 

Who’ll enjoy it? To students, for students, by 

students. Just in case you’d forgotten 

Despite needing a sextant to get there, Beach 

Break Live is well worth the effort. Here lies a 

festival whose rapid rise to notoriety is due to 

an itinerary that caters for every student vice 

under the sun, and throws in a beach to boot. 

The monster lineup raises no eyebrows after 

the success of recent years, and boasts the likes 

of Chase and Status, Ben Howard and Dizzee 

Rascal. What is curious is the way that the long 

weekend remains one of the cheapest ways to 

lose your mind this summer, despite rubbing 

shoulders with the big boys in terms of the talent 

that it attracts. 

Those of you who only dine at the edgiest of 

musical tables, fear not, the menu is surprisingly 

snob-proof. Some of the best new music 

available can be found in the Chai-Wallah 

tent, an annoyingly permanent fixture at this 

summer’s biggest festivals, and a great respite 

if you are tired of being shouted at by Toddla 

T et al. While South Wales isn’t renowned 

for its balmy, tropical summers, it would be 

cliché to cite the weather as a reason to avoid 

the party. However, if you, like me, cringed 

in your sneakers upon reading Beach Break’s 

catchphrase “Roll out the Beach & Roll on the 

Tunes”, beware. Fed up of playing the name 

game and spotting university hoodies? You 

may just want to elope from this particular 

student family reunion. 

Matt Valenzia 

2000trees 

Where? Withington, South East of Cheltenham 

When? July 12-14 

How much? £66 (and you can take your 

10-year-old cousin for free!) 

Who’ll enjoy it? Environmently-conscious 

indie lovers, anyone with an annoying ‘I knew 

them before you’ attitude 

O come, all ye faithful in British music, 

come to Gloucestershire! If there was ever a 

festival made for students and their budget, 

it is 2000trees. Founded by six friends who 

were sick of overpriced festivals which have 

great bands but a less-than-mediocre service 

to offer, this annual event near Cheltenham 

welcomes the best of the British newcomers 

and underground scenes. 

This year’s headliners include Pulled Apart 

by Horses, 65daysofstatic, Future of the Left, 

guillemots, Three Trapped Tigers, Gallows 

and probably Sunderland’s most successful 

band to date, The Futureheads. Other acts to 

take the stage are We Were Promised Jetpacks, 

Max Raptor, The Computers and a range of 

acoustic acts such as Lucy Rose and Johnny 

Foreigner. And if you’ve ever worried about 

the tons of energy used up at festivals and 

sniffed at the rubbish mountains left by the 

visitors, you’ll be more than delighted by 

2000trees’ dedicated green agenda. Recycling 

bins everywhere, eco-friendly electricity, 

vegan food and a parking discount if you give 

your friends a lift - you name it. No excuse for 

empty plastic bottles outside of your tent. And 

all of this for under 70 quid! That’s what value 

for money looks (and sounds) like. 

Lisa Bernhardt



UKfestivalpreview.19 

Leeds Festival 

Where? Bramham Park, Leeds 

When? August 24-26 

How much? £197.50 

Who’ll enjoy it? Pissed-up 15-year-olds, Radio 1 

listeners, and everyone in between 

Leeds Festival (and Reading of course) is very 

much a rite of passage - for most people it’s their 

first ever experience of a summer music festival, 

handily coinciding with GCSE results year on 

year, ensuring hordes of teenagers descend upon 

Yorkshire getting away from their parents with 

one goal in mind: getting royally wasted. 

Whilst this demographic constitutes the 

majority of the crowd, there’s still enough to 

tempt music-lovers back year on year, despite 

ever-increasing ticket prices. OK, so the line-up’s 

barely changed in years and it’s still pretty much 

the same old headliners, but the sheer number of 

acts performing means you’ll never be short of 

acts to see. 

Saturday night’s headliners are certainly the 

most interesting - The Cure should provide the 

perfect balance of singalongs and nostalgia, 

whilst the Foo Fighters, who take to the stage on 

Friday, are absolute seasoned pros when it comes 

to festival slots. Wrapping things up will be Kasabian, 

who are stepping up as headliners for the 

first time. Avoid the hyped-up kids on poppers, 

and Leeds still has its draws. 

Ben Travis 

Latitude Festival 

Where? Henham Park, Southwold, Suffolk 


How much? £175 for a weekend camping 

ticket, £75 for a day ticket 

Who’ll enjoy it? The indiest of the indie, arty 

types and anyone who likes Mumford and Sons 

Situated in the very quaint Henham Park in 

Southwold, Suffolk, Latitude is a family friendly 

arts extravaganza, catering in music, comedy, 

theatre, poetry, literature, film... the list goes 

on. 

In terms of music Latitude focuses particularly 

on indie and folk bands, with this year’s 

line up headed by indie folk maestros Bon Iver, 

indie big dogs Elbow, and the Modfather himself, 

Paul Weller. It also features many more 

acts from across the music spectrum, from 

singer songwriters like Michael Kiwanuka and 

Laura Marling, to indie rockers like White Lies 

and The Horrors, and electro dance acts like 

M83 and Django Django. There’s something 

for the older crowd too with Dexy’s Midnight 

Runners and Simple Minds. The sheer variety 

of stuff on offer is what defines Latitude; it’s not 

just a music festival, the comedy tent has some 

big names on too - for example Jack Dee, Mark 

Watson and Russell Kane. 

The great number of arenas means there is 

always something going on that’s worth a look, 

be it an acoustic set at the secret stage in the 

forest, a reading in the literary arena or dancing 

late into the night to DJs playing ‘Guilty 

Pleasures’. 

Tim Sewell 

Hop Farm Festival 

Where? Paddock Wood, Kent 

When? June 29 - July 1 

How much? Weekend tickets are £150 for a 

limited time only, children under 12 go free. 

Who’ll enjoy it? Organic music lovers who look 

good in a straw hat. The ability to drink real ale 

is recommended, but not a necessity 

Founded five years ago by promoter Vince 

Power and hailed as a ‘back to basics’ event, 

Hop Farm Festival offers fans the opportunity 

to get up close to living legends. Last year 

Prince graced the stage, his first open air performance 

in England since 1993. 

Heavyweight headliners for 2012 include 

Suede, Peter Gabriel and the one and only Bob 

Dylan. As well as rock superstars, the farm 

in rural Kent also attracts an eclectic mix of 

smaller but equally noteworthy acts. Breathy 

singer-songwriter Benjamin Francis Leftwich 

promises a set full of emotional acoustics whilst 

Frightened Rabbit will bring a more aggressive 

strain of lyrical ingenuity, Scottishness and 

choice swearing to the table. 

Alternatively, if old school entertainment 

is what you’re after, then Sir Bruce Forsyth is 

your main man. Unbelievably, after 70 years in 

show business, Brucey’s never been to a festival 

but that’s all about to change, as come June 29 

he’ll be sharing a stage with the likes of Primal 

Scream and Maximo Park . The weekend is 

free from the usual ties of sponsorship and 

branding. There are no super tents and no VIP 

exclusives, just Bob, his band and possibly 

some cattle grazing in a nearby field. 

Lauren Stafford 

Bestival 

Where? Robin Hill Country Park, Isle of Wight 

When? September 6-9 

How much? £170 for students 

Who’ll enjoy it? The wary student who wants 

good value-for-money, or the all-encompassing 

hippy who wants to frolic in a pixie costume 

This year sees another incredibly eclectic line-up, 

with headline performances from New Order, 

The XX, Sigur Rós and the one and only Stevie 

Wonder. Other acts include Spiritualised, Friendly 

Fires, Bat For Lashes, Major Lazer, Annie Mac, 

Gary Numan, The Horrors, Azealia Banks, SB- 

TRKT, Orbital, Earth Wind and Fire experience 

feat. Al Mckay, Django Django, Warpaint, Four 

Tet, B2B, Caribou, Gold Panda, Adam Ant & 

The Good, Little Dragon, De La Soul, Lucy Rose, 

John Talabot, Justice, Alabama Shakes, Lianne 

La Havas, 2ManyDJs, Daughter, Grimes, Friends, 

Clock Opera, Zulu Winter, Errors, First Aid Kit, 

Chairlift, Field Music, Porcelain Raft, Gallows 

and loads more! 

This student, family or just about anyonefriendly 

independent music festival is curated by 

Josie and Rob da Bank, who are passionate about 

creating a unique festival atmosphere without 

having to sacrifice a solid line-up. Aside from the 

music performances, there are reams of other 

events going on and plenty of wacky places to 

explore, with a Bollywood Cocktail Bar, Roller 

Disco and the Wishing Tree Stage to name a few 

examples. Traditionally, festival-goers don fancy 

dress and as the organisers put it, the festival is ‘a 

wondrous world of discovery and adventure that 

will inspire peace, love and dancing, not only in 

September but all year round…’ 

Charlotte Krol

20.EUfestivalpreview 

thecourieronline.co.uk/music 



Viva la fiesta! 

Much as a massive park in the middle of 

Yorkshire might seem an adequate enough 

location to get hideously drunk and wail 

along to some of the world’s biggest musicians, 

sometimes the lack of guaranteed sunshine just isn’t 

enough. However, tonnes of events all over Europe 

feature hugely impressive line-ups across all genres, 

and give you the best of a holiday abroad and a music 

festival all in one. Here’s our pick of the bunch 

Roskilde Festival 

Where? Roskilde, Denmark 



Who’ll go there? Glasto fans 

Each year Denmark plays host to the largest 

festival in Northern Europe, drawing in some 

of the biggest bands in the world for four days 

in July. Roskilde brings together bands from 

all over the world, including many acts from 

Denmark and Scandinavia. The line-up has an 

alternative and indie feel, often bearing similarities 

to Glastonbury, but also indulges in acts 

from all over the musical spectrum. This year’s 

bigger acts include The Boss himself, Bruce 

Springsteen and the E Street Band, that crazy 

chilled Icelander Björk, alternative legends The 

Cure, and one White Stripe: Jack White. There 

are many other well-known names appearing 

over the weekend such as Friendly Fires, Bon 

Iver, Machine Head, Santigold, Suicide Silence, 

The Vaccines, M83, The Shins, Django Django, 

Dry The River, Wiz Khalifa, and a host of other 

bands. With the acts appearing over eight 

stages, there is plenty to see at any time, and 

there are no ‘festival sets’ here; each band on 

whatever stage plays for a minimum of an hour 

(90 minutes on the larger stages)! A warm-up 

event takes place in the five days prior to the 

festival (made up of local bands), making the 

whole Roskilde event nine days long. 

Tim Sewell 

Sónar Festival 

Where? Barcelona, Spain 



Who’ll go there? Arty hipsters 

If trying to sleep in a soggy, piss-covered tent 

in the English countryside after a day of being 

constantly hounded by the thought of becoming 

the next Poo Girl everytime you need the 

toilet isn’t your idea of a fun-filled festival, 

perhaps this year you should try Sónar. For 

three days this June, the city of Barcelona will 

be hosting a non-stop weekend of official and 

unofficial parties in and around the city, without 

a field or Portaloo in sight. The festival 

focuses predominantly on electronic music, 

and this year the line-up sees the likes of wellestablished 

names such as New Order, Dead 

mau5, Fatboy Slim and Friendly Fires take the 

stage alongside up-and-coming talent such 

as Lana Del Rey, Totally Enormous Extinct 

Dinosaurs, and Maya Jane Coles. Combining a 

variety of bands and DJs, and with an array of 

art exhibitions and installments to see during 

the day, Sónar is perfect for those of you who 

like to mix it up a bit, as long as you don’t 

mind the constant jumping on buses to get to 

the next hotel roof party. 

Sophie Coletta 

Benicàssim 

Where? Nr Valencia, Spain 



Who’ll go there? Anyone 

Benicàssim, arguably Spain’s top music festival, 

has become one of the most popular destinations 

abroad for British festival-goers in recent 

years. Spread over a four-day period in the 

middle of July and situated on the shores of the 

Mediterranean, it is the ideal holiday for music 

lovers. They pride themselves on putting together 

a line-up that appeals to everyone, with 

the likes of Arctic Monkeys, Oasis and Blur 

having graced the festival in the past, and this 

year certainly no different. The legendary Bob 

Dylan will make his debut at the event with a 

set not to be missed and newly reformed Manchester 

band The Stone Roses take to the 

stage at the Spanish festival for one of their 

first shows since their reunion. Florence and 

the Machine make the step up to headline 

status whilst recently reunited post-hardcore 

band At the Drive-In and British rockers New 

Order occupy the final two headline slots. 

With acts including Noel Gallagher’s High Flying 

Birds, The Vaccines, Chase & Status, David 

Guetta and Jessie J also on the bill, there is no 

doubt it offers the diversity to attract even the 

most modest of music fans. 

Matty Aston 

Open’er Festival 

Where? Gdynia, Poland 



Who’ll go there? BBC 6Music listeners 

A festival held on a former military airbase 

by the Baltic coast may not necessarily sound 

as summery as Benicàssim, but that’s Eastern 

Europe for you. Open’er Festival is one of 

Poland’s growing number of major festivals, 

and promises one of the best value-for-money 

weekends on the continent this summer. 

Headliners include Björk, New Order, Public 

Enemy, Mumford & Sons, Bon Iver, The XX, 

Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, and so on. The 

full line up has new bands paying their festival 

dues, mid-’00s indie acts repeating their festival 

dues, dance acts and DJs doing anything, 

and some few tricky-to-pronounce Polish and 

European artists for good measure. Quite a 

mixture. Various ticket pricing options are 

available - expect to see some interrailers 

‘splashing out’ their zlotys on the £30 day 

tickets and returning to nearby Gdańsk for 

the night in some Soviet-era Youth Hostel 

too. Overall, Open’er meets all expectations of 

any major festival, complete with Silent Disco 

and Kids Zone, (and, what with Heineken 

being the organising force, probably an unholy 

amount of beer adverts too). 

Becca Price 

Exit Festival 

Where? Novi Sad, Serbia 

When? 12-15 July 


Who’ll go there? ‘80s music lovers 

If your plan is to escape the potentially unpredictable 

British weather by making this year’s 

festival experience a foreign one, then Exit 

Festival is definitely an option to consider. Taking 

place in the Petrovaradin Fortress of Novi 

Sad in Serbia, it was originally a very grassroots 

operation started by students and with strong 

links to the local universities but is now one of 

the 40 largest festivals in Europe and was among 

10 other festivals winning the “Best European 

Festival’ award - not bad! 

This year the festival takes place from the 12- 

15 July and features Duran Duran, New Order, 

Plan B, Guns N’ Roses, Wolfmother, and Felix 

Da Housecat to name a few - a pretty interesting 

line-up. Without a doubt though the best things 

about this festival are its price at £95 for the four 

days and an additional £25 for camping, band its 

location. Not only will you be sure to be dancing 

with an eclectic Eastern European crowd who 

have recently launched the music genre ‘turbo 

folk’, but you are also perfectly located to explore 

Eastern Europe with the best way to reach Novi 

Sad being a train from Zagreb, Budapest, Belgrade, 

or Ljubljana. With the excuse to explore 

a pretty cool place and head to an amazing 

festival, that is your Summer sorted! 

Olivia Mason


Skinted 


Festival 

Essentials 

Elissa Hudson 

All the necessities you need to survive a week of mud, music and 

mayhem. Not to mention those portaloos. 

health&beauty.21 

health&beauty editor: Rosanna Sopp 

rosanna.sopp@ncl.ac.uk 

Hassle Free 

Make-up 

For all your 

camping needs 

Soltan moisturising suncare spray 

SPF50+ 

£2.74 

Nivea sun moistursing sun SPF15 

£5.24 

Baby Wipes 

At a festival, baby wipes will become your 

new best friend. They replace the luxury that 

is a shower during your weekend roughing 

it, as well as your usual cleansing wipes, hand 

wash and if you’re unlucky- maybe even loo 

Dry Shampoo 

Not showering for a good 

few days is bound to result 

in hair that you could fry 

chips on. Dry shampoo 

is amazing for refreshing 

greasy hair; simply spray 

onto the roots and rub it 

in. If you’re a brunette it’s 

advisable to buy the tinted 

version to avoid looking 

like you have the hair of a 

pensioner! 

Make-up Staples 

Try to only take make-up that 

can’t smash, break or melt. 

Waterproof mascara is also a 

safe bet. Try taking a condensed 

version of the usual contents of 

your make-up bag to avoid the 

extra weight. Think about what 

items you really rely on to feel 

confident and just pack those. 

If you can, try to pick products 

that you know will last all day 

on your face, as it’s unlikely that 

you’re going to be retouching 

your make up. 

Foundation 

Benefit 

you rebel SPF 

15 tinted 

moisturizer 

£23.50 

Waterproof Mascara 

Max 

Factor 

masterpiece 

waterproof 

mascara 

£8.99 

Lip Balm 

Being outdoors for a full 

weekend can play havoc with 

the condition of your lips. 

Make sure you take a really 

nourishing lip balm and avoid 

Vaseline, as it just coats your 

lips rather than hydrating 

them. 

Concealer 

Piz Buin in sun moisturising sun 

lotion SPF15 

£12.99 

Minted 

Best Beauty Blogs 

www.alittleobsessed.co.uk 

www.lovelygirliebits.com 

www.madaboutmakeup.co.uk 

Bargain of 

the week 

SPF 

It’s advisable to pack a bottle 

in case the sun makes an appearance. 

Try to avoid using 

standard suncream on your 

face at a festival though, because 

spots will have a festival 

of their own on your face. 

Hand Sanitiser 

The portaloos at festivals are legendary, and you’ll leave one 

wishing you could sanitise your entire body. Don’t rely on the 

supplies of hand sanitiser at the toilets! It often runs out and isn’t 

replaced for a few hours, meaning that unless you bring your own 

you might find yourself left with all sorts of germs lurking on 

your hands. The travel bottles are nice and small, so carrying one 

around in your bag shouldn’t be a problem. 

Body Spray 

The lack of opportunity for a 

shower means you’re not going 

to be left feeling, and possibly 

smelling, your best. Taking 

perfume in a glass bottle seems 

a little extravagant, but a cheap 

body spray will do the job without 

breaking the bank. 

Collection 

2000 lasting 

perfection 

concealer 

£4.19 

Eye liner 

L’Oreal 

absolute eye 

and lip make-up 

remover 

£4.99 

Lip Colour 

E.L.F (Eyes Lips Face) is an 

online brand which sells high 

quality products at extremely 

low prices; items start at just 

£1.50! 

Sudocrem 

This little pot of antiseptic healing 

cream can be invaluable at 

a festival. Use it on spots, cuts, 

burns and bites to soothe and 

protect them from infection. 

Razor 

This one is pretty self explanatory. 

Nobody likes to see 

hairy pits whilst you’re dancing 

around in the crowd, so 

make sure you pack a razor! 

Revlon 

colorburst lip 

butter 

£7.99

22.fashion 

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion 

c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk 



Miles Freeman 

#8 Behind the scenes 

Many people think that the headquarters of 

fashion labels are full of swathes of designers 

that sit around drinking coffee and playing 

with books of material samples. Having 

worked over Easter at well-known menswear 

label Original Penguin, just off Oxford 

Circus, you begin to realise that there is a lot 

more to it. 

For a brand like Penguin, new collections 

are not just about being at the forefront of 

menswear but also understanding what 

actually sells. It becomes very easy for a 

brand to plough in the direction of cuttingedge 

design and unique fabrics that can 

so easily lose their customers. Penguin is a 

global brand that has customers spanning 

a huge demographic of sartorialists, so it 

becomes difficult to know which direction 

to go in. Through the culmination of some 

very talented business and fashion minds, a 

direction has emerged as to where Penguin 

will be going over the next couple of years. 

Original Penguin’s heritage lies within the 

golf world and their signature polos were 

worn by the likes of Frank Sinatra and Richard 

Nixon; the shirts became a symbol of US 

surburban leisure until well into the 1980s. 

In 2003, Perry Ellis International bought the 

brand and the birth of the staple menswear 

label was established. It did not take long for 

the embroidered Penguin emblem to appear 

back in the limelight, including on teenage 

female obsession Seth Cohen from the 

series The OC. With the backing expertise 

of Perry Ellis and recruitment of some of the 

best fashion minds in the industry, Original 

Penguin has released stronger and stronger 

collections. 

My time at Penguin made me realise that 

the most successful fashion houses are those 

that are business savvy. Creating a collection 

is not as simple as picking some styles 

and materials that work well together, but 

creating a brand image that works well on 

a retail platform. Penguin’s brand image is 

reflected by their employees, whose DNA 

is composed of ‘cool’ chromosomes; whilst 

wearing Original Penguin clothing they all 

bring to the table their own unique sense 

of style. However, in menswear there is no 

rivalry, no ‘Devil wears Prada’ situation 

where people make snide remarks about 

what each other is wearing. Instead there 

is a camaraderie of style for which dressing 

well is not a competition. 

Working at Original Penguin made me 

come to the conclusion that not everyone 

is suited to a regular black suit-wearing 

office job. At university it seems that the 

only avenues for employment afterwards lie 

in graduate schemes for large corporations 

in sectors that probably don’t particularly 

interest you. Whilst these jobs often provide 

a more substantial pay packet and added 

benefits, it raises the question of job satisfaction. 

Although working in menswear is not 

the most conventional route for a Politics 

student, it will mean that I am working in 

a sector that inspires me to wake up every 

morning. Aspire to work in an office surrounded 

by similar-minded people that 

have come to work for the love of their job, 

not just for the salary. 

campusfashion 

Becky Miller 

Second Year 

Architecture 

Top: H&M, £15 

Shorts: Warehouse, £16 

(on sale) 

Satchel: Urban Outfitters £48 

Shoes: ASOS, £30 

What did you have in 

mind when you put 

this outfit together? 

“I usually keep my 

look quite minimal, 

but I love 

experimenting with 

stripes! My housemates 

recently bought me the 

satchel as a birthday 

present, and the colours on 

it match perfectly with my 

outfit.” 

Fashionista’s 

Verdict? 

“The classic nautical palette of 

navy and burgundy teamed 

with Becky’s new preppy 

satchel give her a look a true 

Parisian would approve of. 

Ditch the chelsea boots for a 

pair of brogues or white keds 

and you are ready to set sail 

into the summer season!” 

On trend 

Shop til you crop 

Top: Topshop, £20 (on sale) 

Cardigan: Topshop, £18 (on sale) 

Jeans: Dorothy Perkins, £25 

Shoes: Debenhams, £20 

Bag: Oasis, £20 (reduced from 

£40) 

What did you have in 

mind when you put 

this outfit together? 

“My bag is the latest 

addition to my wardrobe, 

it’s the perfect size to carry 

books and files around in 

on campus and goes with 

absolutely everything!” 

Fashionista’s Verdict? 

“Taking inspiration 

straight off the Louis 

Vuitton SS12 catwalk, 

Emma channels a 

youthful innocence 

look in a dreamy lace 

camisole. The striped 

cardigan harmonises 

her outfit giving it a 

subtle modern twist.” 

Emma Rushby 

Amanda Old finds beautiful bra-lets, the blossoming trend to 

mix and match with our old favourite: the high-waisted skirt 

Second Year 

Architecture 

Topshop, £30 Topshop, £24 River Island, £16 H&M, £12.99 

Hannah Walsh



stylingfashion.23 

Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole 

Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp 

Festival 

fashion 

Fantasy wardrobe 

Lizzie Hampson and Elissa Hudson style four festival chic ensembles that are hot on 

the high street right now 

Day 1 

Day 2 

Day 3 

Day 4 

Urban Outfitters, £40 

+ 


+ 


+ 

Miss Selfridge, £35 

+ 

Urban Outfiiters, £28 

+ 


+ 

Topshop, £28 

+ 

Topshop, £16 

+ 

Topshop, £18 

+ 

H&M, £12.99 

+ 


+ 


+ 

H&M, £7.95 

+ 



H&M, £4.95 

H&M, £4.95 

Denim shorts are the perfect staple for 

any festival wardrobe. This pair from 

Urban Outfitters will work well with 

almost anything, whilst the fraying and 

the slight pink hue at the bottom of them 

add edge. A way to channel classic festival 

chic is to pair your denim shorts with 

a printed vest top like the one shown 

above. Here we’ve chosen a top with 

accents of colours picked up in the backpack 

to tie the whole outfit together. Add 

a simple pair of sunnies and off you go! 

Here we’ve layered a retro tie-dye 

sweatshirt over a simple studded crop 

top to cover all weather bases! Tie-dye 

is a good way to immerse yourself in 

festival fashion; this jumper will keep 

you warm at night and is easy to carry 

around during the day. If the sun comes 

out, the crop top we’ve layered underneath 

will quickly transform your outfit 

from being stylish and practical to cool 

and summery. 

Layering is key to festival chic, pile on 

the accessories over a bandeau and 

colour block top to achieve this look. 

A simple black bandeau will mean 

you can swap and change top colour 

depending on your preference. Here is 

a pastel blue top and an Aztec-studded 

headband with accents of blue. This 

creates the illusion of the outfit being 

thrown together whilst keeping a colour 

theme running through. 

For a more girly alternative, a floral 

dress will look at home amongst the 

festival crowd. This dress can be paired 

with a halterneck bikini top worn underneath 

to add interest to the strapless 

neckline of the dress. The shape of the 

dress will flatter most body types, making 

it an effortless festival staple. A hat 

will hide festival hair whilst being a cute 

addition to the outfit.

24.listings30thApril-7thMay 

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings 

c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk 



Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 

Thoroughly Modern 

Millican 

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday 

Mill Volvo Theatre 

After selling out all 120 dates on her debut 

Chatterbox tour, including nine nights at The 

Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre, Sarah Millican is 

back with a new show ‘Thoroughly Modern 

Millican.’ Ever wondered how to make a 

home made treadmill? The practicalities of 

an orgy? Or what to do when you don’t like 

parties but do like party food? Wonder no 

more. If your glass is half full, she’ll top it up. 

Tickets priced at £20 each. 

www.millvolvotheatre.co.uk 

Imagining Christian 

truth - Retelling the 

stories of our time 

5.30-6.30pm 

Curtis Auditorium, Herschel Building 

The challenge facing Christianity in the 

West is not so much atheism or relativism 

as indifference. It fails to engage the imagination 

of many young people. It is considered 

to be moralistic and boring. Timothy 

Radcliffe OP will explore how the Churches 

can respond. There is a double challenge, 

that of communicating a ‘Christian imagination’, 

and that of entering and transforming 

the contemporary imagination. 

Free admission, no booking required. 

www.ncl.ac.uk/events 

Comedy Night 

8pm 

As You Like It 

Every first Tuesday of the month, AYLI holds 

a fantastc comedy complete with 2 for 1 

main courses in the main bar which has tasty 

dishes such as warm camembert studded 

with fresh garlic, rosemary & warm bread, 

Thai red chicken curry with jasmine rice and 

Newcastle Brown Ale beer battered haddock 

with mushy peas & proper chips. Headlining 

this Tuesday - Phil Ellis. 

www.asyoulikeitjesmond.co.uk 

Rounders 

2pm 

Exhibition Park 

Meet near the tennis 

courts/gate to Town 

Moors. Look for the Go 

Play logo - free! 

www.nusu.co.uk 

Moorbank Botanic 

Garden Open Evening 

5-8pm 

Moorbank Botanic Garden, 

Claremont Road, NE2 4NL 

Take a well-deserved break from the library 

and get some fresh air at Newcastle’s Secret 

Garden on their Open Evening. Admission: 

£3 for adults, children go free. All gate 

proceeds to the National Gardens Scheme 

charities. 

Entrepreneurs’ 

Question Time 

7pm 

King’s Gate Visitor Centre 

Ever thought about starting your own business? 

Want to know how to go about it and how 

Newcastle University can help? Then the Rise 

Up Entrepreneurs’ Question Time is for you! 

We’re giving you the chance to hear from some 

of our current and past students/graduates who 

have successfully started their own ventures 

with our help. Register to attend this event at 

www.ncl.ac.uk/careers/ events/item/rise-upentrepreneurs-question-time. 

Homemade Jam 

8pm 

Mens Bar 

Homemade Jam is back! And this time we’ve 

added... Karaoke! Every Thursday. 

www.nusu.co.uk/events 

Red Raw 

8.30pm 

The Stand Comedy Club 

Our long-running weekly beginner’s 

showcase is regarded as the best open mic 

night in the UK. Catch up to ten new acts 

– some treading the boards for the very 

first time. This is where everyone starts 

and it’s your chance to see the stars of 

tomorrow today. Although watch out for 

older hands dropping in to try out new 

material too. 

www.thestand.co.uk 

Table Tennis 

12-2pm 

Venue, Students’ 

Union 

Table tennis in the 

Union every Monday and 

Thursday 

lunchtimes. Just turn 

up and play for free! No 

need to register, just pop 

your name on the sign-up sheet, grab a bat and 

join a tournament, start your own, or just casually 

play with friends. 

www.nusu.co.uk/goplay 

Lulu James 

8pm 

The Cluny 2 

This North East songstress is getting noticed all 

over the world with her fresh soul sound, Catch 

her for just £5 at The Cluny this Monday - 

quick before she gets huge and it’s £50 a ticket! 

www.thecluny.com



30th April-7thMaylistings.25 

C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson 

Friday 

Hospitality 

11pm-4am 

Digital 

The worldwide dupstep and D ‘n’ B night 

is set to make its latest return to Newcastle 

since November, featuring Highcontrast, 

Netsky, Fred V and Grafix. Tickets £13 adv 

+BF. 

Something for 

the weekend 

Tynemouth Fake 

Festival 

Saturday from 12.30pm 

Percy Park Rugby Club 

The Fake Festivals 2012 Tour will be hitting 

the North East for the first time on 5 May 

and coming with it will be a whole host 

of up-and-coming raw regional talent. Taking 

place at the Percy Park Rugby Club, 

Tynemouth Fake Festival will not only 

see performances from internationally 

acclaimed tributes to Coldplay, Red Hot 

Chili Peppers and Kings Of Leon but also 

a showcase of some of the most exciting 

artists in the region. 

www.fakefestivals.co.uk 

Canny Little Library 

3-7pm 

Star and Shadow Cinema 

The Canny Little Library stocks books, zines 

and pamphlets with a focus on titles with a 

more critical stance towards the society we live 

in and not available in most regular libraries/ 

bookshops. The collection includes graphic 

novels, art, feminism, queer, gender, lgbt, politics, 

sex, health, relationships, DIY, anarchism, 

philosophy, global struggles, science, nature 

and environment, worker’s struggles, history, 

prison struggles, cookery, anti-racism and 

information for action. All titles are available 

to browse and borrow for free. The Star and 

Shadow also houses a large collection of film, 

photography and theatre books available for 

browsing and reference. The library can be 

contacted at cannylittlelibrary@gmail.com. 

www.thestarandshadowcinema.co.uk 

Gateshead International 

Festival of Theatre 

Sat and Sun 

Gateshead Old Town Hall 

GIFT will showcase some of the most innovative 

and exciting new work created in the 

region within a programme of contemporary 

theatre from nationally and internationally 

recognised artists. This year GIFT will bring 

together artists from North America, Ireland, 

Portugal, Spain as well as the UK. 

Judy’s Affordable 

Vintage 

Fair 

May 5, 12-5pm 

Northumbria 

University 

Students’ Union 

Judy’s Affordable Vintage Fair has been 

providing vintage fans with affordable vintage 

clothing, homewares and accessories since 

2005. Now the largest vintage fair of its kind 

and serving 30 cities it has been hailed by the 

national press as a ‘shopping phenomenon’. 

The Fair offers a selection of vintage, reworked 

and hand made stalls all hand-picked 

by fashion experts and price checked to ensure 

shoppers are paying up to 75% less than 

high street prices for their vintage products. 

www.judysvintagefair.co.uk 

Make and Mend 

Market 

Sat 9am - 5pm 

Grainger Market 

Newcastle’s biggest independent arts, crafts 

& vintage market has been running since 

2008. They’re not just great places for finding 

something beautiful or quirky, but also 

a very economical way of shopping AND 

swapping! Check out 18 stalls brimming 

with design products from local jewellery 

makers to reproduction clothing & accessories 

and many more. Join us on Facebook 

for latest info. FREE entry always! 

Looking 

forward 

to... 

Lady Gaga 

tribute night 

May 25th 

Holiday Inn, Jesmond 

Love Lady Gaga? Can’t wait for her next tour? 

Catch the fantastic tribute night at Holiday 

Inn Jesmond this month. It’s just £19.95 per 

person and includes a two course dinner, a 

disco and of course the live act herself. Find 

Holiday Inn Newcastle Jesmond on Facebook 

for more information. 

BioSoc Ball 

May 8, 7pm 

The Venue 

BioSoc cordially invites you to the highlight 

of the social calendar – our Summer Ball! 

Last year was a sell-out with Dr Bevan outlasting 

most of you on the dance floor. Spaces 

are limited so don’t leave it too late. Formal 

dress - everyone is invited! Tickets are a mere 

£26, including Champagne on arrival. ½ bottle 

of wine per person, local Northumbrian 

themedbuffet, vintage style photobooth with 

free prints all night and DJ. Tickets are available 

from Union Reception (cash only). 

Michael Bourne’s 

The Nutcracker 

May 15-19th 

Th e a t r e R o y a l 

Hailed by The Observer as ‘the undisputed 

king of dance theatre’, Matthew Bourne’s company 

New Adventures has produced some of 

the most successful dance productions of the 

last two decades including Swan Lake, The 

Car Man, Edward Scissorhands and last year’s 

sell-out hit, Cinderella. Catch The Nutcracker 

this month! 

www.theatreroyal.co.uk 

Want your event 

listed? 

Email c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk 

with all the details and any 

photos you have by Monday 

12pm of the week before the 

issue you want to feature in. 

Follow Listings on Twitter 

@CourierListings.

26. 


The Seasoned 

Traveller’s 

Ultimate Tips 

Lauren Cordell 

With so many countries to visit, 

it can be mind-boggling 

deciding what 

route to take, 

which countries 

to visit and 

which to miss 

out. Checking 

out the different 

festivals and 

events going on 

across Europe 

can provide a good 

starting point. Have you always 

wanted to take your chance running with the 

bulls in Spain or are you more bothered about 

catching an open-air opera in an ancient Roman 

amphitheatre in Italy? Figure out a few must-dos 

and then plan your trip around them. 

Don’t just assume 

that ing an 

inter rail 

buy- 

pass will 

necessarily 

be the 

cheapest 

way to 

travel. 

In some 

countries, 

particularly those with more expensive rail 

systems, you have to pay a supplement on top of 

the price of your pass. The passes also give you a 

certain number of days of unlimited travel and 

the price reflects that. They may be the best option 

if you want to cover huge distances at a time 

but if you are only going to destinations a couple 

of hours away check it won’t be cheaper to buy 

tickets elsewhere. 

Try and organize your trip 

so that you get out of the 

city sometimes. Once 

you’ve been to five in a 

row you stop appreciating 

things as much 

and everything seems 

to merge into one. 

When the centrepiece 

of Seville 

becomes just 

another cathedral 

it’s time to mix 

things up. Head 

out on more 

rural adventures. 

You won’t regret 

it and you’ll come 

back to the city 

refreshed. 

When deciding whether to take a tent, think carefully 

about where you plan to go and how long 

you’ll spend in each place. If you are more interested 

in visiting big cities be aware that campsites 

tend to be on the outskirts of town, which can be 

quite inconvenient if you’re not staying somewhere 

very long and will mean you’ll be spending 

more money on transport to get to the centre. It’s 

also worth remembering that most hostels have 

a kitchen where guests can cook their own food, 

whilst taking a tent with no cooking supplies will 

mean you’ll have to eat out. However, if you’re 

planning on visiting some smaller towns and 

more rural locations, such as Lake 

Bled in Slovenia, 

camping can be 

the best and 

cheapest 

option. 

All abroad! 

With the end of term just around the corner and nothing but 

too much time with the family to look forward to, let us provide 

the perfect escape route: Inter-railing. Not necessarily sticking to 

the beaten rail track, it’s complete with practical tips, hidden 

gems and amusing anecdotes. Anyone for a 10p beer? 

Czech Republic 

Skeletons of Sedlec 

It is not often you see at 

least 40,000 skeletons at 

once. Until you decide 

to visit Sedlec Ossuary 

in the Czech Republic. 

Easily accessible by train 

and a short walk through 

Kutna Hora, makes it a 

perfectly distasteful day 

trip from Prague. Legend 

has it that the bones from 

the discovered mass graves 

would be exhumed and 

stacked in the chapel by a 

half blind monk. Centuries 

later, the bones were ‘put 

in order’ and the result is 

certainly a sinister spectacle. 

Garlands of skulls drape 

across the walls like bunting 

and a huge coat of arms 

dominates the back wall created 

from the ancient corpses. 

A huge chandelier hangs from 

the ceiling, made of at least 

one of every type of bone from 

tiny fingers to large bulbous 

skulls and every other surfaces is decorated to 

match. Has to be seen to be believed! 

Hungary 

Szechenyi Baths, 

Budapest 

Sedlec Ossuary 

Photography: Kerry Marshall 

Kerry Marshall 

Inside Szechenyi they have a series of baths of 

varying temperatures, ranging from jacuzzi 

warmness to a bath so cold that it leaves you 

numb after only dipping in a limb. There is also a 

spa area complete with steam rooms, saunas and 

even a gym. Outside are swimming pools, also of 

varying temperatures and shapes. There is a real 

Feeling Hungary? 

party 

atmosphere 

and 

everybody 

socialises 

under 

the water 

fountains, or in 

the fast moving 

current pool which 

is almost impossible 

to get out of once 

you’re in. 

Emma Oulton 

One reason alone is needed to visit Budapest or 

anywhere else in Hungary and it isn’t the annual 

Sziget Festival (also incidentally, that is definitely 

worth doing). 

It’s the 

food. Cuisine 

influenced by 

so many countries 

is ideal 

and suited to 

everyone’s taste 

Prague 

Forget paying to go up the 

towers in Old Town Square 

and on Charles Bridge, to get an incredible 

view of Prague all you need to do is walk up 

Petrin Hill. Yes, there is a funicular railway you 

can ride up the hill, but that will cost you. If the 

weather is nice and you have some spare time, 

enjoy the walk instead. You’ll see incredible views 

Hungarian specialities 


both on the 

walk 

up and once 

you get to the top, 

providing you with some 

perfect photo opportunities. There are lovely, 

quaint gardens to explore on the hill as well. And 

if you do have some extra cash and want to go 

higher, you can go up Petrin Tower, Prague’s mini 

version of the Eiffel Tower. 

From there you’ll see all of Prague’s historic sites 

surrounded by the city’s signature red rooftops. 

Alexandra Carr 

buds. Whether you love the traditional goulash 

or not, there are so many other dishes to try. 

Langos, a street stall snack compromising of fried 

flat dough, smeared with sour cream and garlic 

and then generously sprinkled with cheese. For a 

hearty meal, Rakott Burgonya consists of smoked 

Hungarian sausage, boiled eggs and potatoes 

cooked into a bubbling casserole. Don’t forget to 

pop into a market and pick up a strudel for dessert 

whether apple, cherry or cabbage (not that 

you can tell when disguised with raisins, walnuts 

and sugar). 

Kerry Marshall 

Szechenyi baths, Budapest 

Photography: Emma Oulton



.27 

Italy 

When in Rome... 

Rome was the last spot on our trip and funds 

were low so we decided to book the cheapest hostel 

we could find on hostelworld.com. The room 

was €10 and slept four which we thought was very 

reasonable. As there were four of us we’d have the 

room to ourselves - ideal! 

When we arrived, it turned out we were staying 

in a barn that was actually an old pig sty. They 

had split the barn into little ‘pens’ of four people. 

Surprisingly though, it was the best place we’d 

stayed in of the whole trip. 

The onsite restaurant sold great cheap food, 

there was free internet access and a swimming 

pool which was a real treat for the last stop. 

The site was full of backpackers and we 

made loads of friends that we’re 

still in touch with today. So if 

you’re looking for somewhere 

cheap to stay in Rome, 

with a pool and 

something unusual 

to report 

home about 

(that you’d 

slept in a pig 

sty) look up Tiber 

Hostel and Camping. 

Lucy Boden 

The Coliseum 

pub crawl 

This involved lots of drinking games 

under the pillars of this historic 

monument and making friends who would later 

help to carry you home. Our ‘cultural’ trip got 

off to such a high brow start! A word of warning 

though - Italian police do not have a sense of 

humour... 

Lorna Bonnington 

Cinque Terre 

Cinque Terre 

Photography: Lauren Cordell 

On the North West coast of Italy, these are five 

idyllic villages linked only by a coastal footpath 

and train: a great place to kick-back and enjoy life 

in the slow lane. 

Lauren Cordell 

Other must-do stops 

Montenegro 

The bay of Kotor is picturesque itself, but turn 

around towards the mountains and you are literally 

looking at a postcard. You can get lost in the 

windy streets of the old town for hours, and there 

is some great jewellery shopping to be had. Head 

to the top of the fortress and you’ll be in for a 

sight you won’t forget. 

Bulgaria 

The cheapest country in Eastern Europe… 

except Romania. Our first stop was Varna on the 

coast, where the beer costs about 10 pence and 

they open your wine for you at the supermarket 

checkout. There’s a row of clubs all down the 

beach: great if you’re after a party and a tan. We 

then went onto Veliko Tarnovo which was a welcomed 

haven of relaxation. Nestled in a valley, 

the old capital city also offers a serene place to 

recover. Our activities included visiting the fort 

for a great view, and in particular paying 4 lev to 

dress up in a ridiculous knight costume. 

Croatia 

An obvious choice but one that shouldn’t be 

missed. Hvar is by far the best island on the Dalmatian 

Coast. The Green Lizard hostel was our 

base, and we spent our days renting out power 

boats, sunbathing and generally lazing about. 

Make sure to hit Carpe Diem at some point, an 

island club. With beach volleyball, cocktails and 

music it’s an absolute must! If you’ve got time, 

check out the other islands too: Bol on Braĉ 

boasts the country’s “best beach” and you can 

camp just down the road. 

Alice Holloway 

Slovenia 

Bohinj 

A cheap, two hour bus journey from the train 

station in Ljubljana, Bohinj is located on the lake 

of the same name and provides stunning views 

across it. Of course if you are wanting 

to go out every night and sample a 

good nightlife then this is not the place to be – 

there are very few bars in the village and it is a 

fair walk to the nearest shops. 

Nevertheless there is still plenty going on for 

travellers and tourists; all 

of the locals speak English 

and there is a good 

range of restaurants 

and cafes serving 

good food at really 

low prices. There 

was even a band 

playing in a storm drain 

while we were there, which is 

apparently a regular occurrence. 

It is possible to hire out rowing boats on 

the lake and there is an outdoor activity 

centre that offers excursions such as 

kayaking, zorb-walking and paragliding 

at really good prices. In terms of accommodation, 

for those with money to spend 

there are a number of four and five-star hotels but 

if, like me, you are travelling on a strict budget 

there are plenty of hostels too. Hotel Bellevue for 

example charges just £15 a night. 

Colin Henrys 

The bay of Kotor, Montenegro 

Photography: Alice Holloway 

Lake Bled 

Lake Bled is a stunning, unspoilt glacial lake, 

and an easy day trip of 35 miles from Ljubljana. 

There is a castle at the top of a colossal cliff and a 

beautiful environment in which to consume a few 

beverages and relax on the shore. 

The best way to see the lake is in a little wooden 

rowing boat that you can captain yourself, and 

use to explore the small island in the centre of 

the lake, make sure you scamper up the 99 steps 

to the tiny church. Taking a dip in the clear icy 

depths is obligatory…whether intentional or not 

as I discovered when disembarking the rickety 

Lake Bled 

little vessel. 


Kerry Marshall



sex&relationshipslifestyle.29 

Lifestyle Editors: Ben Parkin, Emma Balter, and Lauren Stafford 

Online Editor: Lauren Cordell 

in association with: 

Blind Date 

Katherine Mills, 2 nd year History and Archaeology, meets 

Joshua Maunder, 2 nd year Medicinal Chemistry 

First impressions? 

Josh made a great first impression by insisting that he came to my 

house to meet me before the date. Torrential rain hit the minute 

we left my house and we were forced to bond under an umbrella. 

That, along with a few jokes at my expense blaming the Irish for the 

weather, meant any nervous tension was immediately broken. Josh 

had suggested we go for drinks before the meal and this was a great 

way to get to know each other. 

Did your date make any romantic gestures? 

None that come to mind! Except, he suggested that we share a dessert… 

Any striking conversation topics? 

Our conversation flowed throughout the evening with 

very few breaks, we talked about pretty much anything 

and everything from our courses and mutual friends 

to spending a lot of time admiring the restaurant - it 

had great character and the food was AMAZING. 

We also spent time analysing our great love of sport 

and interest in musical theatre. 

Any awkward moments? 

Really, I think that the date was free from awkward 

moments. 

If you were to get married and have babies, what 

would you want your baby to inherit from your 

date? 

It would most definitely have to be his musical 

talent. I never learned to play an instru- 

ment properly and as a great music lover 

it is one of my regrets in life. In addition, 

his flair for science would be pretty useful 

as it completely goes over my head. 

Did you open the ex-file? 

Not mine but it did come into conver- 

sation that his ex-girlfriend’s mother 

commented that he had a lot of tension 

in his back. Not quite sure how that 

relationship worked out, but it can’t 

have ended well. 

At any point did you understand why 

they were single? 

Josh was a lovely guy and a true gen- 

tleman; however, I am a stickler for 

wine etiquette and I like my date to 

be the one to pour my wine, although 

that wouldn’t be a problem for all 

girls. Perhaps between his demand- 

ing course and sport he doesn’t have 

much time for a lady in his life. 

Were you tempted to lean in for a 

kiss? 

I definitely made a new friend, however 

I don’t think there was any chemistry there 

(excuse the pun). 

If you were to take them home do you think 

your parents would approve? 

I’m sure my parents would approve, Josh has 

plenty to say and makes a great first impression. 

His interest in football would definitely go down 

a storm with my dad. Their only issue may be his 

English nationality… 

Marks out of 10? 

I would give him 8/10. I had a lovely evening, thanks 

Josh. 

First impressions? 

I wasn’t able to do a quick Facebook stalk beforehand, so 

I didn’t know what to expect. I went over to pick her up 

at her house, she seemed pretty friendly and conversation 

flowed from the off, so it was a good start. I think we left 

her house in a bit of a hurry, but I was quite glad because I 

didn’t want to get judged by all of her housemates. 

Did your date make any romantic gestures? 

Ermm, I don’t think so. We shared a pudding, is that 

romantic? Haha. I can’t really think what a girl could 

do as a romantic gesture on a first date, maybe 

that’s just me; it’s probably more of the guy’s 

role. 

Any striking conversation topics? 

We sort of chatted about everything really. 

We talked about interests, nights out 

(good and bad), sports, music, that kind 

of thing. I tried to keep my embarrassing 

night out stories to a minimum, I didn’t 

want to get judged too badly on a first 

date! We had quite a lot in common, so 

conversation was fun. We were also re- 

ally impressed by the restaurant, so that 

brought on a few food-related topics. 

Any awkward moments? 

Not that I can remember. I don’t really 

get awkward much, I would just laugh 

anyway. 

If you were to get married and have 

babies, what would you want your baby 

to inherit from your date? 

Bit of an odd question! She was from 

Northern Ireland, so the accent would be 

good. She seemed pretty funny, or she un- 

derstood my humour anyway, so that would 

be a good trait too. 

Did you open the ex-file? 

Not really, previous dates came up in discus- 

sion, but not much a ‘file’ as such. There was a 

bit of gossiping about other mates’ relationships 

though, which was funny. 

At any point did you understand why they were 

single? 

Not really, she seems quite busy, being in different 

societies and doing work, so potentially that’s a 

reason. She was nice enough though. 

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? 

Haha, there was never really that kind of ‘moment’ 

on the date, just lots of drinks and conversation. 

If you were to take them home do you think your 

parents would approve? 

Yeah they would, she seemed smart and she knew 

what she wanted to do in life, they like ambitious 

people. I don’t really know what they would disap- 

prove of about her, my parents would probably like 

anyone they felt would be a ‘good influence’ on me 

to be fair. 

Marks out of 10? 

8/10. The date went pretty smoothly, I think, and 

I had a good time. 

Tashin’ on 

in the Toon 

Victoria Mole 

One, two, cheat 

Katherine on Josh Josh on Katherine 

We can handle near-death hangovers. 

We can handle childbirth and we can just 

about handle Jedward…but we cannot 

handle jealousy - it can be like having your 

confidence knocked out cold and taking 

a bitch pill. The worst kind of jealousy 

by far comes after finding out that your 

significant other has been unfaithful. I’ve 

never been in the position of ‘cheater’ or 

‘cheated on’ but I have unknowingly been 

the ‘cheated with’, and upon finding out, 

thought: you just ruined your relationship 

for that, really? Even if we haven’t been on 

the receiving end ourselves, we know that 

it’s one of the most hurtful things you can 

do to someone and yet it’s still common for 

both sexes to be victims of infidelity. 

Lack of self-control is the biggest reason, 

and it’s hard to take the moral high ground 

when you think of all the times you’ve 

eaten a diet-defeating doughnut (although 

if it made your low-fat cereal bars cry, you’d 

probably think twice about it). Sometimes 

people cheat because they can; they know 

that they won’t get caught or they’ll be forgiven. 

However, most of the time it’s a moment 

of weakness rather than the product 

of a frisky ex-womanizer. You should know 

whether your beau is one, unless you’ve 

never seen them on a night out (a.k.a. the 

prowl). Your better-than-average pulling 

techniques are nothing short of dangerous, 

especially when less-than-average pulling 

techniques have an extreme success rate 

from 1am onwards... 

I was once classily approached in Sinners 

with the ambitious line: “I don’t normally 

come up to girls like this but you’re stunning 

and I just had to tell you”. After finding 

out that I was detoxing so had not had 

a drop of alcohol, he predictably bid adieu 

and headed towards the bar. It’s embarrassingly 

easy to be taken advantage of after 

having a routine treble (or two), but people 

take advantage of alcohol just as much by 

making it their excuse for everything from 

declarations of love (or hate) to public 

stripteasing. It can be a relationship’s kiss of 

death, being a tragic combination of overhonesty, 

impaired judgement and making 

people friskier than Berlusconi. 

So, with alcohol taking its familiar role 

as culprit in the hall of shame, there isn’t 

usually an emotional connection between 

‘cheater’ and ‘cheated with’, although cheating 

can be emotionally motivated; feeling 

unappreciated can drive people to seek 

affirmation elsewhere. However, it doesn’t 

excuse straying and the guilty party never 

escapes scratch-free, be it losing someone 

they care about or hooking up with a 

bunny boiler (nature’s punishment, sort of 

like the clap); with lines like the aforementioned, 

you’re begging for the latter. 

Cheryl Cole is an example that you 

couldn’t be more desirable and still not 

be immune to infidelity. Being the perfect 

partner can’t always prevent it - it’s down 

to the other person and in Ashley Cole’s 

case, you become the country’s biggest tool. 

Everybody has an opinion on whether you 

can move on from infidelity; those who’ve 

been there know that you can’t just fall out 

of love but staying will mean never feeling 

secure with that person again. Every couple 

is different; the only universal truth that 

can be applied to every one is that if they 

both care about each other more than they 

care about themselves, they have the best 

chance at happiness and staying faithful.

30.lifestyle 

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle 

c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk 



The joys of spring 

cooking with fresh produce 

Shorthand 

Rock Society 

Who? 

The Rock Society. 

What are we talking here, geology or 

drums? 

The latter. But think around the stereotype 

- there’s plenty of variety. 

Hard to ignore the image of long-haired, 

head-bangers ‘moshing ‘ out to AC/DC… 

Ignore it! “Rock Society is not just a load of 

hairy blokes sat around drinking listening 

to music - we have a lot of female members 

(half of our committee, including our 

president, vice and social secretary are all 

female),” we are told. 

Girls?! Radical… 

Not as radical as the quiz nights, band 

nights, trips to various cities and bar 

crawls that take place every two weeks, or 

thereabouts. 

Fine, but what kind of rock are we talking 

about? I’m no expert, but there must be 

some sort of variety…? 

Of course - heavy metal is, apparently, 

the most popular but “we try to appeal to 

people interested in all types of rock music, 

whether it be punk, ska, classic rock to 

goth, metal, grindcore or whatever”. 

Yeah totally, whatever man. 

Funny. But seriously - everyone is welcome; 

the society aims to provide a friendly, 

open atmosphere where people can meet - 

people with similar interests who otherwise 

might not do so. The society is well connected 

too; for example, the online music 

editor of The Courier happens to be the 

secretary of the society. 

Groovy. Any other perks? 

Plenty. 

Such as… 

Well, the society has deviously managed to 

obtain special discounts in Katman2, Doc 

Blacks, Dominos Pizza (Heaton collection 

only) and Friday nights at Legends night 

club. 

As I sit here on a pretty grey afternoon, the rain is spluttering against the windows. It 

doesn’t feel like Newcastle has moved on from its dreary winter, yet thanks to the recent 

heat wave, greengrocers’ stalls at Grainger Market are brimming with fresh seasonal 

produce. Here are some suggestions of the best ways to celebrate these ingredients so that 

you can literally fill yourself with the joys of spring. 

Spring vegetable risotto 

Shopping Basket 

Grainger Market: £3 

ASDA: £8.34 (remember that includes a 

bottle of wine!) 

Serves 4 

1 bunch of asparagus 

200g garden peas 

50g broad beans 

1x small pack of lardons 

I litre vegetable stock 

olive oil 

1 small onion - chopped 

1 fat garlic clove - chopped 

300g risotto rice 

Sea salt and black pepper 

125ml white wine 

A large handful of parmesan cheese 

1. Heat the vegetable stock on a low heat. 

2. Grab another pan, add a lug of olive 

oil and put on a low heat. Add the onion, 

garlic and the lardons. Cook for a few 

minutes until the onion has softened and 

the lardons are golden. 

3. Add the risotto rice and some salt and 

stir for 2 minutes. Pour in the wine until it 

has absorbed. 

4. Add a ladleful of hot stock, stir and 

wait until it’s been fully absorbed before 

adding more. Cook for 16-17 minutes, 

adding more stock every minute or so. 

5. Meanwhile, bring a saucepan of water 

to the boil and add the asparagus, peas and 

broad beans. Cook for 3 minutes and then 

drain. 

Restaurant 

Review 

Sabatini’s 

6. Taste the risotto to check the rice is 

soft. If not, add some more stock until 

you’re happy with it. 

7. When the rice is ready, stir in the 

asparagus, peas and broad beans. 

8. Serve and sprinkle with parmesan and 

black pepper. 

Opening 

times: 

Monday- 

Saturday 

12.00 to 

10.30pm 

Slow roasted shoulder of 

lamb with roasted 

vegetables 

Shopping Basket 

Grainger Market: £15 

Serves 6 (with plenty of leftovers) 

2kg shoulder of lamb 

bulb of garlic 

a few sprigs of fresh rosemary 

1. Put your oven on full whack. 

2. Meanwhile, crush the cloves of garlic 

and pick the rosemary leaves from the 

sprigs. 

3. Lay the shoulder in a roasting tin, slash 

the fat side of the lamb all over. 

4. Cover it with salt, pepper, garlic, rosemary 

and olive oil. 

5. Lay the shoulder skin side up and cover 

the roasting tin tightly with foil. 

6. Turn the oven down to 170°C and roast 

the lamb for 3½-4 hours. Check the meat 

after 3½ hours; the meat should pull away 

from the lamb easily with a fork. 

7. Serve with whatever you fancy! I made 

roasted potatoes, carrots and parsnips and 

fresh spring greens. 

8. We also had so much meat left over 

that we had it the following night with 

homemade pitta bread, roasted peppers 

and mint and cucumber yoghurt. 

Eliza Barrow 

Authentic Italian 

food in a cosy yet 

modern 

environment. 

Wow, where do these people come from… 

‘Legend has it that a guitar wielding dragon 

fought the Angel of the North and won so 

was banished to the edge of the city and 

hence the Rock Society was formed’ 

Really? 

Well, no. (We may have been told to say 

that.) The society was formed a while ago 

so no one’s entirely sure when it all began, 

but it’s certainly worth taking a look at 

anyway. 

How do I get involved? 

It’s a fiver to join, and you can sign up 

on the union website, as with any other 

society. 

Anywhere we can take a look at some 

pictures, events etc.? 

There’s also a website- http://nclrock.org/ 

and a facebook page http://www.facebook. 

com/#!/groups/nclrocksoc/. All the information 

about past and future events can be 

found there, and pictures too. 

Anything else? 

That’s all you need to know! Why not check 

it out yourself? 

To join and for more information email 

graham.matthews@ncl.ac.uk 

Sabatini’s, in two words, was fantastically 

brilliant, from service, to food, to décor. 

Although fairly small, the restaurant’s 

floor-to-ceiling mirrors gave the illusion 

of added depth without stealing away 

any sense of intimacy. Seated on a raised 

platform at the back, we were provided the 

perfect spot for people watching in peace. 

The biggest issue of the evening was then 

posed by the three-fold menu; what to 

have? 

I eventually settled on garlic cream mushrooms 

on ciabatta toast, and, at the risk of 

sounding as though I hold shares in the 

place, it was one of the best starters I’d ever 

had. However, I’m hard pushed to explain 

how such a superficially simple dish was so 

delicious, maybe I just like mushrooms a 

bit too much. There was some definite food 

envy resonating from the other side of the 

table anyway. 

My housemate opted for the calamari and 

garlic mayonnaise, which were crisp and 

perfectly seasoned without overdosing on 

the batter. We also shared a selection of 

Italian breads. 

After the lengthy deliberations on what to 

choose for the main course we finally managed 

to agree on one thing: share and share 

alike. After all, we didn’t want food envy to 

occur again now did we. We began on tagliatelle 

with cream, cured ham, mushrooms 

and parmesan, which was my personal 

favourite of the two choices. Creamy yet 

light as well as generously portioned the 

mushrooms were bursting with flavour and 

the ham succulently tasty. As eating long 

pasta elegantly has never been a personal 

gift, it’s not my usual choice, but is now 

definitely a habit I will have to reconsider. 

Next up was penne pasta with chicken 

and mushrooms in a tomato and cream 

sauce, which again was beautiful, although 

just slipping into second place in the sauce 

stakes. 

Despite being extremely full after our 

mushroom-saturated meal, we decided 

that we didn’t want to be rude and had 

to at least look at the desert menu. My 

staple choice is something warm double 

chocolate brownie and ice cream-related, 

but, given the I was beginning to push it in 

the waistband area, we decided on a twoperson 

selection of Italian desserts instead. 

Including tiramisu, a lemoncello-soaked 

cake, an amaretto cream cake and others 

that were still lovely but we couldn’t quite 

work out what they were. 

All seven mini desserts were delicately 

arranged and a perfect way to satisfy the 

sweet tooth without going too overboard. 

Although the two spoons one plate situation 

did get slightly too competitive for 

my liking. end the meal, though I am 

definitely not a fan of the two spoon one 

plate situation as it did become a bit of 

a competition between who could get to 

which dessert first. 

Overall, service was polite and attentive, 

the cherry on the top of a well-iced, 

authentically Italian evening. 

Sally Priddle


Penny 

Pincher 

Rosie Jenkinson 


#6 Tapas, travel and 

taking pictures 

lifestyle.31 

Lifestyle Editors: Ben Parkin, Emma Balter and Lauren Stafford 

Online Editor: Lauren Cordell 

What’s 

Hot 

The doom and gloom of writing 

essays and revising seems like it 

will never end. Yet within eight 

weeks, it will all be over and it 

will be summer break! Take some 

time out from all your studying 

and book your holidays now - it’ll 

be something to look forward to 

and help you keep cheery when 

your head is buried in books. 

Once you’ve booked your summer 

adventure, make sure you don’t 

miss out on these great summer 

essentials deals: 

· Get half price on selected Soltan sun protection 

and aftersun products at Boots! This 

skincare brand can be quite pricey, but with 

this fantastic deal buy Soltan Sensitive Hypoallergenic 

Suncare Spray for £5.99 (RRP 

£11.99) and Soltan Moisturising Suncare 

Lotion for £4.49 (RRP £8.99). 

· Surprisingly, the best-value UK holiday 

insurance provider is insureandgo.com. 

Check out their website to find cheap travel 

insurance for singles and couples. Also depending 

on what your holiday entails, you 

can book insurance accordingly – whether 

it’s backpacking around the world or winter 

sports! 

· Make sure you take a camera with you to 

capture all those memories! Visit www.currys.co.uk 

to find massive savings on digital 

cameras. Whatever your budget, you are 

bound to find something for you. I love the 

14 megapixel SAMSUNG PL22 Compact 

Digital Camera for £49.97 and the 12.1 

megapixel SONY Cyber-shot DSC-W510 

Compact Digital Camera for £59.97 (RRP 

£149.99!) 

· Don’t splash out loads on expensive designer 

suitcases and hand luggage, get yourself 

to Primark! I bought a suitcase from 

Primark and it lasted me a trip to America, a 

trip to Hong Kong and it’s still going strong! 

Also, like Mary Poppins’ handbag, Primark 

canvas bags are deceiving in that they can 

hold all sorts inside! Use one for your hand 

luggage. 

· Definitely shop around for your holiday 

currency, as there are different deals going 

on all over the place! Visit http:// 

travelmoney.moneysavingexpert.com/ 

to see the best 

rates you can get 

for your money, 

and don’t just 

buy your currency 

from 

the first 

shop you see 

with a ‘wedo-holidaycurrency’ 

sign 

in the 

window! 

Illustrations: Daisy Billowes 

Get them before 

they’re gone! 

· I graduate this year, yet I’ve never 

been to the Northern Stage. I think 

this is a cardinal sin. Come join me 

and see a performance for 50% off! 

Visit http://bit.ly/JpNBis to download 

the voucher and see the terms 

and conditions of use. 

· Get 2 for 1 medium/large pizzas 

with Pizza Hut delivery by ordering 

online and using the code 

VCHHGTYNT. Valid until 10th 

June. 

· Visit La Tasca on Grey Street 

or the Quayside and enjoy 

their £10 Feast Like A King 

offer on Wednesdays. 

No voucher is needed. 

If you’re not free on 

Wednesday, head down 

on a Sunday for All 

You Can Eat Tapas for 

£14.95 a person! 

· Start getting your 

summer glow now 

with Dove Summer 

Glow Body Lotion 

Fair/Norm. 250ml for £2 

(RRP £4) at Tesco. Pretty pricey to 

buy, so get this before it’s snatched 

up. 

Student Loans 

Finally being able to afford things 

again, and not feeling you are forced 

to make the difficult choice between 

food and trebles. 

Summer Plans 

Gearing up for the 

summer holidays 

and finalising 

summer plans, 

which no 

doubt will help 

banish those 

pre-exam 

blues. 

Cinnamon lenge 

Chal- 

However potentially 

‘dangerous’ doctors may say the cin- 

namon challenge is, watching clips of 

people on YouTube eating a spoon full 

of cinnamon is far too amusing not to 

be 

done. 

Call Me 

Maybe 

Carly Rae 

Jepsen’s 

number 

one single 

is all over 

the radio at 

the moment. 

However annoying some people may 

find it, this is definitely the song of 

the moment. So catchy it’s hard not to 

have a dance when it starts playing. 

You’ve got problems! 

Are height restrictions limiting your love life, flatmates 

unappreciative of your baked goods, friend vanished into 

thin air? Don’t worry... Uncle Monty’s here to help! 

I’ve been single for a few years now, and 

I’ve come to the conclusion that at 6 foot 

5, my height intimidates boys and makes 

them feel emasculated. Boys who are 

taller than me are few and far between, so 

what do you recommend as a way around 

this? 

I’m not sure what to suggest. Fortune has 

given you this frame for a reason, even if 

that reason is to infuriate everyone behind 

you at gigs. You could tie shoes to your 

knees and kneel down constantly, but your 

increased success with the opposite sex 

would come with the caveat of crippling 

kneecap pain. I think you should embrace 

your altitude, and know that eventually you 

will find the Colossus of your dreams. 

I take a keen interest in baking, and I 

regularly make loaves of bread for myself 

and my flatmates to share. However, I 

don’t think my flatmates treat my goods 

with the respect they deserve. Twice now 

they’ve destroyed my bread after nights 

out, playing baseball with the loaf, and 

last night they punched bits of uncooked 

pasta into it so now it is as good as 

inedible. What should I do? I don’t want 

to give up my baking, but this callous 

disregard for my goods has pushed me to 

the brink. 

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s disrespectful 

handling of baked goods, but you might 

be overreacting a little. However, if you 

want to make a point, try baking a large 

ingot of steel into your next loaf and leave 

it in a convenient area. That way, if they try 

to muck about, there will be dire consequences 

for the structural integrity of your 

house and you might be able to move out 

and leave these philistines behind. Also, if 

you’ve got any loaves going spare, I’ll meet 

you behind the tennis courts in Leazes Park 

for what I believe drug dealers call a “drop”. 

A close friend of mine, Gary, has disappeared. 

We used to spend every Sunday 

afternoon together, discussing current affairs 

and taking tea in the park. However, 

when I went to meet him last week I was 

informed that he had left, possibly forever. 

He didn’t even say goodbye. Should 

I try to track him down or accept that 

things change and move on? At this point 

I should point out that Gary is an alpaca 

who lived in Jesmond Dene petting zoo. 

This is deeply distressing news. Gary and 

I have been close for a number of years 

now, and I’d be devastated to hear that he’d 

died without informing me. We bonded 

over long, cold nights in Jesmond Dene 

back in the terrible winter of 2007, and 

his winning smile and sunny demeanour 

endeared him to me immediately. However, 

Gary always was quite flighty and prone to 

whims, so check Newcastle airport and see 

if he’s hopped on a flight to Ayia Napa like 

he always said he would. Or maybe they’ve 

just moved the alpaca pen slightly. We may 

never know. 

April Showers 

Sure, the weather might 

be getting warmer, 

but the increase in the 

amount of rain is far 

from ideal. Getting in 

to a club and looking 

like a drowned rat, 

and smelling like 

wet dog, is not hot in 

anyway. 

# on 

Facebook 

For the last time, 

Facebook and Twitter are 

two different things. Hashtags are 

for Twitter, not for Facebook. It’s not 

difficult. And people who link their 

Twitter accounts to their Facebook are 

just as bad. 

Passing Out 

Getting so drunk that you don’t 

remember what happened is bad 

enough, but then waking up somewhere 

you weren’t planning on being 

is worse. Behind a bin, the top floor 

of the medical building or the floor of 

someone else’s room (when they aren’t 

in there). 

What’s 

Not 

Indiana Murphy 

Illustrations: Daisy Billowes

32.arts 

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts 

c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk 

The 

book 

that... 

is a fat-free 

guilty pleasure 

Superficially pretentious 

Grace Harvey proudly 

admits that John Grogan’s 

Marley and Me is a trashy 

treat she’s not ashamed of 

We all have our guilty pleasure 

when it comes to reading, and 

whether it’s Stephenie Meyer, 

Jodi Picoult or worse, Katie Price, it’s hard 

to deny the appeal of the so-called ‘trashy 

novels’. While some hide their dubious 

preferences, others are totally oblivious to 

their shamefulness but I am proud to admit 

that Marley and Me is perhaps one of the 

greatest books I own. 

Judge me if you will, but the story of 

life and love with the world’s worst dog is 

just completely irresistible and gripping. 

I’m not talking about the film with Owen 

Wilson and Jennifer Aniston, but the actual 

book, which, although truth be told isn’t 

actually much better, never fails to make 

me smile. 

John Grogan’s autobiographical memoirs 

about one man 

and his dog 

is without a 

doubt sold 

entirely 

by Labrador 

puppy 

Marley’s 

repertoire of 

mischievous 

antics, rather 

than actually 

professing to 

be a semidecent 

read. 

On paper the 

book is genuinely 

horrific; 

it’s badly written 

(Grogran apparently earns 

his money as a professional 

writer but I fail to see how this happens) 

and you follow the hugely clichéd story of 

John getting married, buying a dog, having 

kids, getting a new job etc, etc and all 

that other happy family jazz. And to make 

matters worse no one even lives happily 

ever after. 

But it’s an easy read that never fails to pull 

on my heartstrings and as the tear-sodden 

pages of my copy will tell you, it’s an emotional 

rollercoaster to rival Titanic, and I 

am completely unashamed to admit that I 

love this book. 

There is no malarkey about divorces, 

media scandals, political coups and the 

like, but it is a simple story about one 

man and his dog, and if you’ve ever stared 

blankly at Ulysses praying for inspiration 

you’ll understand what a relief it is to read 

something you can not only understand 

but enjoy. 

No one can deny that the book is endearing 

and a genuinely emotional story that 

ultimately ends in tears, but whether you 

weep or laugh it is a truly great read. Admittedly, 

I do flick straight to the various 

photos of Marley but we all do it. And as 

Grogan reminisces about Marley’s cheeky 

adventures you can’t help but smile and feel 

all warm and fuzzy inside (as if the prospect 

of graduating and being a responsible 

adult isn’t real). 

Although it isn’t groundbreaking literature, 

neither does it pretend to be. Rather, 

it is a simple enough read that guarantees 

to make me smile, cry and laugh shamelessly, 

with the added pleasure of being 

completely guilt-free. 


Th e Courier 

Top 10 stimulating literature lies 

Sally Priddle investigates what is sexy about the deceptive art of scholarly seduction 

It is not just Joey from Friends who 

has considered buying an encyclopaedia 

in order to pretend they are 

up there with Stephen Fry on general 

knowledge. If my housemates are discussing 

something over my head, you’ll mostly 

find me nodding along with an air of “I 

could interject with my opinion but I don’t 

want to make you all look like philistines”, 

whilst in my head I am really going “what? 

Jellyfish are on the rise?” If this sounds at 

all familiar, you are not alone - here is a 

list of some of the things that most of the 

population lie about reading on a daily 

basis. 

10. Shakespeare 

Nearly everyone endured Macbeth at 

school, but it is stretching the truth to 

breaking point if anyone claims that 

Shakespeare is still 

relevant purely on 

the basis that ‘it is 

a classic’. If you’ve 

experienced this 

from someone, 

you know it’s 

absolute BS and 

they haven’t read 

a word. 

9. Nelson 

Mandela’s 

autobiography 

Undoubtedly he is one of the most inspirational 

men in history, but I think I could 

summarise that in a page. The 600+ page 

book that documents this is for many a 

mountain that they would rather just take 

a picture of than climb. 

8. James Joyce’s Ulysses 

Phenomenally written, a perfect example 

of modernist writing, an utter classic (a 

highly confusing and complex book that 

nobody wants to read but everyone feels 

they should), a Telegraph survey says that 

25% of people that claimed to have read 

Ulysses were lying. I feel this 25% is a lie in 

itself - no one has actually read this book 

unless they thought their life was just too 

I 

love the musical as much as the next 

person, but in recent times it could 

be said that some of the concepts 

for new shows have tried to push 

the boundaries that little bit too far in 

suggesting the most out there and absurd 

ideas possible. I’d probably be willing to 

give any new show a try, but some projects, 

such as Jade Goody: The Musical, Coronation 

Street: The Musical and an all-singing 

and dancing Fight Club, really do stop me 

in my tracks and make me lose the will to 

live. I am not normally a cynic but even 

my eyebrows are raised by the prospect of 

the typical Coronation Street twang being 

transferred into a musical phenomenon. 

What has happened to the classics of my 

childhood, Oliver!, The Sound of Music 

and Mary Poppins to name but a few, 

and why does the theatre world give such 

gems a bad name by creating these new 

monstrosities? 

Of the aforementioned insane new 

musical concepts, the one that shocks and 

confuses me the most is Fight Club, originally 

a novel and then adapted into David 

Fincher’s stunning 1999 film version, with 

a saintly Brad Pitt and Jared Leto. Surely 

a musical version would trample all over 

such a cult classic, while it seems pretty 

laughable cutting between singing and 

good and wanted something to really put a 

damper on things. 

7. Jane Austen’s Pride and 

Prejudice 

All men who have said they have read this 

book were either made to read it at school, 

flicked through and thought “what utter 

s*** but it’ll impress that girl” or have, in 

fact, just watched the film/TV series and 

believe that this is an adequate equiva- 

lent. I’m not just being sexist though; apparently 

65% of people lie about reading 

the classics in order to impress others. 

6. Financial Times 

We all pretend to know about the stock 

market, but in reality who actually 

does? The only economic debate I am 

interested in is regarding the inflation 

of Freddos (because yes I remember 

when they were 5p) and Sinners’ 

trebles going up to £2.50 (which was the 

moment when I realised that shit was hitting 

the metaphorical fan with the British 

economy). 

5. Current Affairs 

Having a quick glance at the BBC News 

website or The Guardian does not count 

as actually being up to date on current 

affairs, but I will go to my grave saying 

it is. Pretending to 

be up on the different 

perspectives of a current 

news story is, in 

my humble opinion, 

a full-time job and 

as much as I do care 

about what is going on 

in world, it is just not 

something I am willing 

to invest time in right 

now (and I know for a 

fact I am not alone in this 

position). 

4. The Award winners 

“Oh it was the Orange prize winner you 

say? It is the tale of how a dog symbolically 

represents the emancipation of housewives 

Musical dos and don’ts 

extreme violence - do these really go hand 

in hand? 

Also, how does such a classic line, ‘Welcome 

to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight 

Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. 

The second rule of Fight Club is: you do 

not talk about Fight Club!’ translate into 

a song? (And if by any miracle Bono is 

reading this, I personally veto the idea 

right now). I was more horrified to find 

out it is actually David Fincher at the 

helm of this bizarre project - why, David, 

why? Stop trying to kill the reputation 

of your film, and your reputation 

as a director! This concept clearly 

bothers me no end, but bringing sad 

nobodies of the ilk of Jade Goody and 

Susan Boyle to the stage seems still 

more abhorrent. I mean they both must 

be pretty scant on plot considering these 

figures’ lack of impact on society. Furthermore, 

hasn’t SuBo only been in the public 

eye for at most four years? How does this 

translate into a two hour musical? 

On the other hand, some questionable 

ideas have actually translated into huge 

hits, such as Mamma Mia which, despite 

its slightly flagging plot, charms through 

its use of Abba’s back catalogue, which you 

cannot help but sing along to. Or perhaps 

more recently Matilda: The Musical, 

in the 1970s, wow…err… well I will definitely 

read this, sounds….fascinating.” We 

are all thinking the same ‘maybe not’. 26% 

of men, in a survey done for World Book 

Day, admitted they had put an impressive 

award winning book on their bedside table 

to impress a woman. 

3. Your text messages/emails 

“Of course I read that email you sent and 

I would be happy to errr…” 

In reality “Yes I saw you were asking for 

something and so I clicked off it and 

thought I’d ignore you until later” 

This isn’t just a work thing though; 

74% of men said they had lied to their 

partners about reading a text message 

from them to get out of trouble when in 

reality they had just opened and closed 

it straight away. 

2. The Bible 

Singing, sex and SuBo - there are very few areas of life and history that musicals 

won’t tackle, but there’s a very fine line between pushing boundaries and simply 

scrapping the fungi-encrusted barrel of ideas? Catherine Langley debates 

Religious beliefs aside, it turns out that 

35% of people have lied about reading the 

Bible to impress a member of the opposite 

sex. My track record may not demonstrate 

that I am a guru when it comes to the dating 

world, but I am pretty sure that if I was 

attempting to impress a man I wouldn’t 

whack out a verse from Psalms in the desperate 

hope he might ask me for a drink. 

In fact, I am pretty sure it would send him 

in the opposite direction, but then again 

I am single - so maybe this is a trick I am 

missing… 

1. George Orwell’s 1984 

Apparently this is the book most people 

like to lie about having read. I’ll join in 

here and admit I didn’t finish it, and I can 

safely say without any sense of sarcasm 

that this has done nothing to diminish my 

quality of life. I have managed to reach the 

age of 20 and make friends without having 

the trusty 1984 by my side to bring up any 

time there is a lull in the conversation. 

With my friends I would be more shunned 

if I told them that I hadn’t read Harry 

Potter. 

which won rave reviews, Olivier Awards 

and boasted songs by comedy genius Tim 

Minchin. These examples demonstrate that 

sometimes ideas are so wrong, they actually 

work, but a liberal sprinkling of 

masterful songwriting will always 

help raise musicals to the stellar 

heights of, say, West Side Story. 

Unfortunately, I cannot imagine 

such fare as Fight Club or Coronation 

Street: The Musical ever rising 

to such 

a level. Hopefully, 

they 

will 

be left 

to fall 

on the 

scrap 

heap of 

failed 

musicals 

along with 

Spiderman 

and 

Cannibal, 

and 

rightly 

so.

Th e Courier 


Bringing the GIFT of 

theatre to the Toon 

Millie Walton explores the highlights 

of the city’s most unique, 

dramatic and expressive festival 

Newly founded in 2011, GIFT returns to bring together new 

theatre makers from around the world for an action-packed bank 

holiday weekend of performances, workshops and discussions 

held in various locations around Gateshead. With a vastly diverse 

programme of events, this year’s festival promises to be as successful 

and fun as its opening. Plus it gives you something to do at the 

weekend that is a cultural distraction from the library. 

Here are our highlights: 

Friday 4 May 

1.30pm-2.30pm (starts 1pm on Saturday), St. Mary’s Heritage 

Centre 

GIFT Conversations with Noel Witts 

GIFT Conversations is pretty much what it says on the tin: a conversation 

between Noel Witts (Research Fellow in Scenography 

at the University of the Arts, London) and some of the festival’s 

featured artists. It may sound a bit dull, but it’s a great way to start 

your festival experience and learn about the artists’ work before 

you actually go and see it - so when you do, you can have that 

smug sense of superior knowledge over the rest of the audience. 

Also, if you miss it on Friday, Noel will conveniently be chatting 

again on Saturday. 

2pm-4pm, various town centre locations 

Performance Intervention 

Three theatre artists have been asked to invent three different 

performances for each day of the festival in three different sites. 

Who knows what they will come up with? It’s a bit like a hide and 

seek on a massive scale - the first one to find the ‘performance 

intervention’ wins. 

Saturday 5 May 

4pm-4.25pm, Old Town Hall 

I Searched for Love on Google 

‘I Searched for Love on Google’ is a performance by Tenderfoot 

Theatre (final year students at Manchester Met University). It’s the 

tale of three unfortunate people trapped on a cruise ship, who are 

wrapped up in a never-ending search for ‘happiness’. They become 

totally submerged in the high life of champagne and dancing and 

the remembrance of moments that once were and may never be 

again. 

previews 

Tender Napalm 

Northern Stage 

May 16-17 

In his first play for three years, Tender 

Napalm, award-winning playwright 

Philip Ridley combines brutality, fantasy 

and love in his moving examination 

of a relationship between an unnamed 

man and woman. This highly acclaimed 

play wowed critics at its premiere in Southwark 

Playhouse and is visiting the Northern 

Stage in May as part of its UK tour. It 

has been described as “wildly intoxicating” 

and “sensationally staged” and is already 

labelled one of the best shows of 2012. 

A lyrical stream of words is transformed 

through imaginary games into intense 

physicality offering an account of love in 

the face of disaster. The drama is delivered 

by up and coming theatre stars Lara Rossi 

and Tom Byam, but this small cast does 

not however denote a lack of variation or 

excitement. 

With a director nominated for numerous 

awards and a nationally acclaimed writer, 

alongside an enchanting, powerful and 

passionate script this play is certain not to 

disappoint and shouldn’t be missed. 

Tickets start at £14.50 and can be bought 

from www.northernstage.co.uk or their box 

office. 

Amy Bolton 

reviews 

Danza Contemporanea 

de Cuba 

Theatre Royal 

May 3-5 

If, like me, you’re depressed by the 

constant rain and gloomy skies, plus 

the thought of revision, treat yourself 

to a blast of tropical sunshine courtesy of 

Danza Contemporanea de Cuba. 

The troupe has been described by Carlos 

Acosta as ‘one of the most exciting companies 

in the world today’ and it only takes 

a quick YouTube session to see why. ‘Carmen?!’, 

a take on the operatic classic, sizzles 

with sensual Cuban spirit, right down 

to their vibrant shirts, with just the right 

amount of chest on show. The company 

seeks to meld Afro-Caribbean and Spanish 

styles and the result is exciting, unpredictable 

and completely spellbinding. 

‘Sombrisa’, choreographed by Isreali star 

Itzik Galili marks the culmination of a 

cultural project ‘Seconds Out’ which aims 

to fuse the worlds of Boxing and Dance. 

Opening at the Theatre Royal, De Cuba 

will then embark on a nationwide tour, so 

don’t miss out on the chance to see this 

inventive and powerful performance. 

Tickets start at £16 and can be bought 

from www.theatreroyal.co.uk or their box 

office. 

Frances Stephenson 

arts.33 

Arts Editor: Sally Priddle 

Online Arts Editor: Lisa Bernhardt 

Jerusalem 

The People’s Theatre 

May 1-5 

After much success in the West End 

and on Broadway, the North East 

welcomes Jez Butterworth’s multi 

award-winning play Jerusalem to The 

People’s Theatre. With a contemporary 

protagonist who spends his days drug 

dealing, drinking, throwing parties and 

reminiscing of his early days as a stunt 

motorcyclist, Jerusalem is both comical and 

moving. 

Peter Harrison takes on the challenging 

role of Johnny ‘Rooster’ Bryon, a man who 

everyone seems to be after. His son wants 

to be taken to the local county fair, the local 

council officials want him evicted from 

his caravan home, and a disgruntled group 

of thugs led by Troy Whitworth want his 

alcohol and drugs stash. 

Director Sarah McLane is thrilled to have 

the opportunity to direct such a remarkable 

piece of theatre and promises audiences 

a memorable three hours that ‘no one 

should forget’. Jerusalem is a must-see after 

being hailed ‘an instant modern-classic’ by 

Charles Spencer of the Telegraph in 2011. 

Tickets start at £9 and can be bought 

from www.peoples-theatre.co.uk or their 

box office. 

Beatrice Walker 

4.30pm-5pm (approximately), Gateshead College 

‘How do you say?’ 

‘How do you say?’ is a dance/theatre performance by recent graduates 

from York St. John University, exploring the relationship between 

men and women. It promises to be amusing and thoughtful 

with the nonsensical moments in relationships revealed through 

bizarre movement and powerful speech. 

Sunday 6 May 

Close the Coalhouse Door 

Northern Stage 

April 18 

Geordie Sinatra 

Live Theatre 

April 18 - May 12 

Pole Dance Show 

Venue, Students’ Union 

April 25 

10am-1pm, Old Town Hall 

Th e a t r e M o n k e y 

Theatre Monkey kicks off with a two-hour workshop led by Amy 

Golding, Artistic Director of Theatre Auracaria, encouraging 

participants to share skills and monkey around together. This will 

be followed by an informal tea party, giving you a great chance to 

network and eat lots of cake. 

GIFT will take place on May 4-6 and tickets are available at 

www.giftfestival.co.uk 

Close the Coalhouse Door, in a nutshell, 

is a patriotic Geordie history 

lesson of the mining age. That may 

sound quite unappealing, especially the 

history lesson part, but I can assure you 

that this production is much more lively. 

It’s a true Brechtian piece orchestrated 

by ‘The Expert’ who introduces the play, 

sets the scene and appears occasionally in 

the thick of the action to contribute some 

information or play the piano. The actors 

are vastly multi-talented, switching roles 

continually, adopting different accents and 

bursting into song. Even the character of 

the Grandmother whips out the guitar and 

energetically gyrates around the stage. The 

set is equally captivating and flexible and 

is adjusted by the characters themselves as 

they animate various ‘pitman’ anecdotes. It’s 

a bit slow in places and slightly alienating if 

you are, dare I say it, a ‘Southerner’ as the 

jokes are very localised and the Geordie 

accents thick, but the cast work their socks 

off to keep the audience entertained and at 

the very least you walk out of the theatre 

feeling more knowledgeable about the 

generally forgotten struggle of the miners. 

Also you get a free drink and a raffle ticket 

to win, bizarrely, some sausages or another 

meaty treat. All in all a great evening out. 

Millie Walton 

Set in an old nightclub in Whitley 

Bay, Geordie Sinatra tells the story 

of an ex-Frank Sinatra tribute artist 

and his current state of dementia. His 

spoilt daughter Nancy (Heather Saunders) 

has come home to deal with the illness 

and its unfortunate consequences, such as 

Geordie (Anthony Cable) stripping in Morrisons 

while serenading a bunch of youths. 

The plot unfolds at a steady pace to reveal 

some shocking, if not slightly unbelievable, 

twists. Fiona Evans’ combination of this 

convoluted storyline and witty humour 

lightens the mood of what could otherwise 

be a rather depressing evening learning 

about the realities of dementia. 

Due to poor Geordie’s hallucinations, 

there are a number of changes in time 

frames and characters, however the small 

cast of four are a strong team and top their 

performance with their musical talents to 

accompany Geordie’s Sinatra renditions. 

My only criticism was the length and it 

was only due to the trouser-less lead that 

we weren’t getting restless. 

Come fly with Geordie as he serenades 

the audience through the heartache of the 

illness and performs some of Sinatra’s great 

classics with a live jazz trio to an extremely 

high standard. 

Beatrice Walker 

Any misconceptions about pole 

dancing were quickly turned on 

their heads by the end of this performance, 

as, over the course of two and 

a half hours, the performers really showcased 

the incredible skill that the dancing 

involves. 

As girls deadlifted their own weight and 

dangled upside down by their ankles awe 

was etched into the faces of the audience, 

and people could be heard exclaiming how 

strong the performers were. There was great 

variety in routines, ranging from the elegant 

to the near impossible to the downright hilarious. 

A special mention at this point goes 

to Lucy Gazzard, aka Freddie Mercury, who 

entertained the crowd with her interpretation 

of ‘I Want To Break Free’, complete with 

moustache and feather duster. 

The ever fantastic Charlie Rowley compered 

the evening, warming up the crowd 

and really getting into the spirit of the 

showcase, going so far as to climb the pole 

himself and even attempt to hold himself 

horizontally (something which most of the 

performers themselves can’t do). 

The combination of entertainment and 

sheer skill really added up to a great evening. 

The showcase donated all funds to 

Newcastle University RAG, totalling an impressive 

£305. 

Sally Priddle

34.musicreviews 

Music Editors: Ben Travis and Chris Scott 

Online Music Editor: Graham Matthews 

Sound 

of the 

Overground 

Sam Summers once again 

delves into this week’s chart, 

occasionally finding some of 

pop’s best-kept secrets, but 

more often than not, finding 

absolute drivel. 

Houston? I think hot-right-now teen heartthrob 

Conor Maynard has a problem. ‘Girls girls girls, I 

just can’t say no’ he complains on his debut single 

‘Can’t Say No’. ‘One thing they got in common, 

they all got a hold on me’. That’s right ladies, Justin 

Bieber may be off the table, but look over here! It’s 

the marginally less attractive Conor Maynard, and 

he will stick it in anything with a damp hole. Hear 

him lament his tragic lack of standards over a 

‘minimalist’ beat he made by repeatedly smacking 

an iPad with his semi-permanent erection. Not to 

be outdone, Justin Bieber makes his return with 

‘Boyfriend’, a song which sounds almost exactly 

like ‘Can’t Say No’, the key difference being I like 

it. I like it quite a bit actually, and as frightened 

as I am by this turn of events I’m going to try and 

explain why. He starts off by whispering about 

‘taking you places you ain’t never been befo’ – I 

like to imagine he’s whispering it with his lips 

resting on the crown of my head, because that 

always makes me swoon – before undercutting 

everything with chants of ‘swag! swag! swag!’ and 

rhymes about fondue. He’s sexy but silly, a bit like 

another Pop Justin you might remember from 

your wet dreams, and I’m becoming worryingly 

fond of him. 

Dour-faced man-poppers Train have a new one 

out, and while I was listening to it my brother 

spat out a mouthful of coke and screamed like an 

alarmed dolphin. I followed him as he ran to the 

sink, hurriedly explaining that a solid object had 

unexpectedly passed his lips. We slowly emptied 

the coke can, the air dense with anticipation, 

and what should appear but a tiny ball of moss? 

Absolutely remarkable. Anyway, the song’s called 

‘Drive By’ and it’s balls. 

‘Primadonna’ is the really-rather-good new single 

from Marina and the Diamonds. The chorus is 

pretty fine, as it should be, but what really elevates 

it from ‘rather-good’ to ‘really-rather-good’ is the 

bit with the cheerleader backing vocals. ‘Ooh!’ 

‘Yeah!’ ‘Wow!’ One day, someone will write a song 

with nothing but cheerleader backing vocals, 

and that song will remove the ‘rather’ altogether, 

becoming simply ‘really-good’. 

It feels odd to be reviewing a debut album 

from Jack White, someone already entrenched 

as a senior figure in the rock world, 

but White has finally emerged from his many 

band projects to stand on his own. The freedom 

offered by solo work has clearly paid off, allowing 

White to craft more of a personal, layered 

album, fusing influences and styles without 

getting too self-indulgent. 

Relatively low-key opener ‘Missing Pieces’ gives 

way to the more dynamic single ‘Sixteen Saltines’, 

but that’s the closest we ever get to a White 

Stripes stomp - Blunderbuss is more of a complex, 

mournful collection of downbeat, melancholy 

blues. Indeed, much of Blunderbuss highlights 

White’s recent divorce and comparisons to Dylan’s 

Blood on the Tracks abound, but though there’s 

plenty of lyricism on hurt feelings and malicious 

female figures, the tone of the album remains 

more ambiguous than a simple break-up album. 

The jaunty piano tunes of ‘Hip (Eponymous) Poor 

Boy’ cover lyrical dissonance, and the last few 

tracks take a more relaxed tone compared to the 

urgency of the album’s first half. 

The catchy, fuzz-covered riffs that White’s 

known for are still there, notably on bitter tirade 

‘Freedom at 21’, but take more of a backseat 

Beware and 

Be Grateful 

Maps & Atlases 

Chicago quartet Maps & Atlases have been 

around since 2004 but only got around 

to making their debut album proper with 

2010’s Perch Patchwork. 

Fortunately, the time spent faffing about before 

releasing full albums seems to have paid off, as 

sophomore record Beware and Be Grateful is a 

terrific achievement. Perky Afropop guitars and 

lolloping drums form the greater part of Maps 

& Atlases’ sound, though there is a surprising 

but not at all unwelcome diversion on ‘Vampires’ 

toward late-80s-era Roy Orbison and Don Henley. 

Even more esoteric is ‘Old and Gray’, which 

sweeps neatly from vocoder-led XX-style niceties 

toward spaced-out skittering harmonies and ends 

up at clattering piano-based conclusion. As long 

as you can get past the fact that singer David 

Davison sounds an awful lot like tiny Mark Owen 

from Take That (a man who constantly sounds 

like he’s trying to sing with a pint of phlegm in his 

throat) it’s an extremely enjoyable album, stuffed 

with hooks and perfectly pitched for long summer 

days to come. 

Maps & Atlases have managed to navigate their 

way out of the math- and post-rock bubble (think 

stop-start rhythms, choppy guitars and more time 

signatures than a Dr Who autograph-hunter’s 

notebook) and into far more soothing, but no less 

invigorating, waters. 

elsewhere, being incorporated into more wider 

ranging songs. Finale ‘Take Me With You When 

You Go’ epitomises this, an almost proggish fusion 

of strings, fuzzy guitar solos, and piano wrapped 

together with vocal harmonies. 

A personal, layered album, 

fusing influences and styles without 

getting too self-indulgent 

It’s an album that takes a few listens to settle in, 

not straightforward blues-rock, but still too deeply 

ingrained with its sensibilities (evidenced by a 

bombastic re-working of Little Willie John’s ‘I’m 

Shakin’) to seem experimental. It’s that mix of traditional 

and old-fashioned elements, but in a fresh 

sounding way that White does so well; there’s 

electric pianos and country influences aplenty as 

well as the riffs, and the mixing adds a depth and 

maturity to the songs on offer that puts Blunderbuss 

a cut above some of White’s previous work. 

All the Crooked 

Scenes 

Ellen and the 

Escapades 

After winning Glastonbury Emerging in 

2010, the Leeds quintet have taken their 

brand of “alternative folk” to the mainstream, 

much to the dismay of the Folk Police. 

It’s a difficult place to be slightly folky - you’re either 

going to get labelled as “Mumford and Sonsa-like” 

or “way too folky for me”. There doesn’t 

seem to be a middle ground. You’re either generic 

and bland faux-folk, a sound which makes your 

average Pentangle listener weep, or too like the 

“proper folk” to be accepted by Radio 1 listeners. 

Somehow Ellen and the Escapades have managed 

to sit somewhere in between, trying out 

various different areas of folk whilst still being accessible 

to the masses. From the spaghetti western 

twangs of the title track to the slidey Americana 

guitar of ‘Run’, it feels odd that the band hail from 

the cold, dreary Yorkshire and not from the vast 

North American plains. 

There are hints of Conor Oberst, Sharon Van 

Etten and First Aid Kit here, alongside lyrics that 

wouldn’t look out of place on an Elliot Smith 

album. 

Alongside this, Ellen Smith’s gorgeous, crackly 

vocals add extra character to the songs and yet, 

despite lending her name to the band name, it 

doesn’t impose upon all the other elements of the 

band to become the dominant forefront ala Florence 

Welch. 


Blunderbuss 

Jack White 

Recommended download: 

‘Sixteen Saltines’ 

Master Of My 

Make-Believe 

Santigold 


Ben Partridge 

For those of you who remember Santigold 

(she used to go by the name Santogold if 

that rings more of a bell) I’m referring to 

the American pop star who released a damn 

good self-titled debut album back in 2008, and 

whose infectious Switch-produced single ‘Creator’ 

found its way into the nation’s subconscious 

on a series of V05 adverts. 

Now with her slight change of name due to legal 

issues, her new album Master Of My Make-Believe 

marks a triumphant return. With inspirations 

ranging from the 1980s, to a dash of reggae, Nigerian 

music, James Brown, and Aretha Franklin, 

her influences certainly scream individuality. 

Often compared to M.I.A, Santigold disagrees, 

arguing that she’s less political and not just another 

woman voicing her opinion, however with 

track names such as ‘The Riot’s Gone’ it is not 

hard to see where the comparison comes from. 

However, while her debut album was definite, 

diverse, and exciting, the music scene has changed 

a lot since then. Master Of My Make-Believe does 

have the reggae beats, African drums, and plenty 

of pop and it fits in more with the music of today 

than it did back in 2008. 

This will definitely be an album you’ll be hearing 

lots of with eleven diverse, energetic, and upbeat 

tracks with Santigold’s beautiful vocals adding 

that vital touch. 

Michael Bay’s favourite nu-metal holdouts, 

Linkin Park, further extend the world’s most 

painfully-outstayed welcome with ‘Burn It Down’, 

the lead single off of their sure-to-be-seminal new 

album Living Things. The first verse sounds to 

all the world like a new Foster the People track, 

raising the intriguing possibility that ‘The Park’ 

could have adapted their sound, evolved even, to 

suit the changing times. Unfortunately, all hope is 

quickly dashed as ‘The Link’ once again burst into 

the only chorus they’ve ever written; ‘We’re building 

it UUUUUURRRP...’ 

Download: Justin Bieber – Boyfriend 


‘Silver Self ’ 

Tom Nicholson 

For tonnes of 

web-exclusive 

columns and 

live reviews, 

check out The 

Courier music 

section online. 


‘Run’ 

Chris Taylor 


‘GO!’ 

Olivia Mason 

Follow Th e Courier music section 

on Twitter - @TheCourierMusic 

Gig announcements, updates on the Newcastle music scene, track 

recommendations and exclusive articles. 

Oh, and plenty of #hashtags!



Rediscovering reggae’s roots 

When it comes to reggae, 

there’s inevitably one 

name in particular that 

springs to mind - inescapably, Bob 

Marley truly is the genre’s legendary 

king. And with documentarian 

Kevin Macdonald’s new two-anda-half-hour 

in-depth reassessment 

of the man behind the music, the 

critically-adored Marley, currently 

showing at the Tyneside Cinema 

(and reviewed on page 37), what 

better time to waft away the dodgysmelling 

smoke, put away the steel 

pans, stop dreading your hair and 

take another look at the music that 

inspired a million stereotypes? 

Stir it up: 

little-known Marley facts 

Now, we don’t want to go spoiling anyone’s fun by revealing all 

the secrets contained in the new Marley documentary, but just 

to whet your appetite a little, Rory Smith unveils a few facts you 

might have never known about the mysterious man. 

Family Guy 

Now when it comes to being 

a family man, you might not 

expect Marley to be the sort of 

guy who took his kids to Disneyland 

and mowed the lawn. 

As his wife and (many) children 

will testify, he had a strange 

and separate existence from 

his family and didn’t do all that 

well at the whole ‘one partner 

for life’ bit either. Naughty, 

naughty Robert! 

Our Father, Who 

Art From... Sussex? 

While we’re on the subject of 

family, who’d have thought 

Bob’s dad was actually a Royal 

Marine from sunny Sussex? 

Unusual connection hey? Sorry 

Jamaica, you’re not really the 

be-all and end-all of reggae, it’s 

actually from just off the M23. 

Whack lyricals 

After the success of our last horrendous lyrics feature, we 

delved further into the abyss of terrible and equally 

questionable choices of words within their lyrics sheet. 

Do any of these make any sense to anyone? 

“I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or 

Haitian, like Japanese, Chinese, or even 

Asian” - Chingy, ‘Balla Baby’ 

“I am the table” - Lou Reed & Metallica, 

‘The View’ 

“I met a girl, she asked me my name, I told 

her what it was” - Razorlight, ‘Somewhere 

Else’ 

“I’ll make you call me daddy, even though 

you’re not my daughter” - Tinie Tempah, 

‘Rip’ 

Attempted 

Assassination 

It turns out there’s quite a few 

people who don’t know that 

someone took a pot shot at 

Bob back in 1976. And it wasn’t 

even a crazed fan or an angry 

rasta hater - no, it turns out it 

was all political. Where’s the 

love man? 

These are just a tiny proportion of the amazing facts to be found in Marley - not only is it a really well 

put together piece of journalism, it naturally has one of the best soundtracks to date. It’s quite long, so 

prepare for a numb, reggae bum, but it’s certainly not one to miss! 

Top 5 reggae artists 

(except for Bob Marley) 

Peter Tosh 

1 A founding member of Bob Marley’s band 

The Wailers, Peter Tosh left to follow his dream 

of becoming a successful solo artist-cum-expert 

unicyclist. He’s primarily remembered today for 

smoking heroic quantities of marijuana, and the 

classic stoner anthems which followed. 

Classic Album – Legalise It 

Toots & the Maytals 

2 Toots & the Maytals were influenced by gospel, 

funk and soul music, and were one of the first 

reggae bands to reach international audiences. 

They’re also one of the only early reggae acts still 

recording today, having released collaborations 

with No Doubt, The Roots and Shaggy among 

others. 

Classic Album – Funky Kingston 

Lee “Scratch” Perry 

3 As well as producing most of early reggae’s 

biggest acts – including Bob Marley & the Wailers 

– Perry pioneered the genre’s trippy, experimental 

offshoot, dub. His bizarre instrumental 

remixes, usually focussing on a song’s drum and 

bass tracks, have had a wide influence on today’s 

electro, hip-hop and, yes, dubstep. 

Classic Album – with more than seventy to his 

name, you should probably start with a Best Of 

Burning Spear 

4 Sort of like the Chuck D of reggae, Burning 

Spear is known for his overtly political lyrics, usually 

focussing on Rastafarianism and civil rights. 

He adopted a 

much darker 

sound than 

many reggae 

artists and was, 

as near as I can 

tell, a complete 

and unabashed 

badass. I mean, 

just look at the 

name! 

Classic Album – 

Marcus Garvey 

5 Shaggy 

Laugh all you want, but cheesy ‘90s chart reggae 

is still reggae, and Mr Luva Luva himself did 

it better than anybody. Irresistible, irrepressible, 

and above all inculpable, Shaggy has succeeded 

Bob Marley as the reggae voice of his generation. 

Right? 

Classic Album – Boombastic 

Sam Summers 

“Jump in my hoopty hoopty hoop, I own 

that, ain’t payin’ my rent this month, I 

owe that”- Nicki Minaj, ‘Starships’ 

“I’m going to miss you like a child misses its 

blanket” - Fergie, ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ 

“I love who you are I love who ya ain’t 

you’re so Ann Frank. Let’s hit the attic to 

hide out for bout two weeks” - Outkast, 

‘So Fresh, So Clean’ 

“You take the word sex, and mix it with 

texting. It’s called sexting” - Paris 

Hilton , ‘Drunk Text’ 

featuresmusic.35 

thecourieronline.co.uk/music 


On the 

record 

Classic album 

Fresh perspective 

Until last week, I had 

never listened to Exodus 

by Bob Marley & 

The Wailers 

You could write an article the length of the 

Yellow Pages on this album, I kid you not. 

Unfortunately, I only have 425 wise words 

to sum up one of the most important albums 

since Jamaica was formed as a land mass. Exodus, 

ladies and gentlemen, is roots reggae at its 

very finest. The album was recorded in London, 

while Marley recuperated from an assassination 

attempt, and released on June the 3rd 1977. 

Many see this as the album that really projected 

Marley to international stardom despite it being 

the ninth studio album created by Marley and 

The Wailers. 

Despite calling myself a follower of reggae, I 

have shamelessly never listened to Exodus the 

whole way through, but wow! On first impressions, 

this album is cooler than a Siberian snow 

storm during the ice age. It is impossible to be 

offended by any track on this album. It may be 

cliché to say, but this album is a purely blue sky, 

white sand listening experience. Even the darker 

sounding tracks such as, ‘The Heathen’ and 

‘Guiltiness’ manage to convey their message with 

underlying optimism. 

Stylistically, it’s a combination of the offbeat, repetitive 

rhythms and staccato chord progressions 

that produces the hypnotic effect of the music and 

Exodus is no different. It’s easy to get carried away 

on the Caribbean calypso, but sometimes, that’s 

exactly what you’re looking for. 

Two tracks that display this beautifully are ‘Jamming’ 

and ‘Waiting In Vain’. ‘Jamming’ is not just 

my favourite track on the album but quite possibly 

one of my favourite tracks of all time. This 

track is cool as a coconut. It’s the gradual chug of 

the reggae steam train, passing slowly through the 

lushious, dense Jamacan rainforest. But where’s 

this train heading I hear you ask? – It’s heading 

wherever you want it to, just sit back and enjoy 

the ride. As for ‘Waiting In Vain’, here’s one to listen 

to as you watch the sun dip his hot head into 

the crystal blue, Jamaican sea. Marley exposes his 

romantic side through smooth lyrics, accompanied 

by mellow guitar rifts. Like the departing sun 

at the end of a rum-infused evening, this track 

fades with Marley’s sweet sound slinking off into 

the darkness; a true favourite of mine. 

Unfortunately, ‘Three Little Birds’ has succumbed 

to the almighty force of the media. It 

seems insurance companies have used it for the 

past 35 years to tell us in no uncertain terms that 

“every little thing’s gonna be all right,” even if your 

living room’s knee deep in water. Oh the power of 

the reggae vibe! 

As I mentioned, Exodus is the pinnacle of the 

reggae genre. It has inspired countless artists and 

albums to date, but the real beauty of the album is 

in the way it is seamlessly joined together. It’s an 

organic flow of Rastafarian rhythm and rhyme. 

Regardless of your musical leanings, it is impossible 

to not respect this album for what it is, and 

what it continues to be. Jah rules the world! 

Rory Smith

36.filmfeatures 

thecourieronline.co.uk/fi 5l m 

c2.film@ncl.ac.uk 

Top 

Worst musiciansturned-actors 

5 

Britney Spears 

Oops, she did it again. Britney ventured 

out of her pre-manufactured pop princess 

bubble in order to embark on a burgeoning 

career as an actress. Crossroads promised 

many things, but a cohesive plot was not 

one of them. Look out for a cameo from 

Justin Long. Seemingly, for him at least, 

acting alongside Britters launched a lifelong 

career in comedy films nicely. 

Paris Hilton 

4 

Anyone who’s listened to her smash hit 

‘Drunk Text’ surely can’t question Miss 

Hilton’s integrity as a true musician. Her 

role in Jaume Collet-Serra’s House of Wax is 

equally brilliant. She commits wholeheartedly 

to the portrayal of her scantily-clad 

character who unfortunately meets her 

death via ‘pole in the mouth’ quite early on 

in proceedings. What a shame! 



The superhero renaissance 

With the release of Avengers: Assemble and the growing summer anticipation for Dark 

Knight Rises and The Amazing Spiderman, Rollo Kirkman overviews the genre’s ‘new -wave’ 

When Times film critic and action 

film cynic Kevin Maher gives 

Avengers: Assemble five stars, 

you can tell three things. Firstly, that that’s 

five more than he gave Breaking Dawn, 

and there’s still some sense in the universe. 

Secondly, that Joss Whedon’s done it again. 

And thirdly, that the genre of superhero 

films has finally come into its own. It’s 

not that there haven’t been successes 

beforehand; the darker side of comic book 

superheroes has been 

well explored 

with some 

superb films, from DC’s Batman films from 

Christopher Nolan and Tim Burton, Zac 

Snyder’s Watchmen and V for Vendetta, to 

independent films such as the Hellboy duo. 

But the lighter, more colourful renderings, 

mainly maintained by Marvel, have always 

lagged a bit behind in terms of critical 

reactions, especially in the early and midnoughties. 

Films like Fantastic Four, Ghost 

Rider and the first Hulk may have brought 

in the money, but they were critically flayed, 

detracting from good work done by, among 

others, the second X-Men and Spiderman 

films. 

But, recently, Marvel’s lot has fared 

a lot better. X-Men: First Class 

managed to be both colourful, 

action-packed and intelligent, 

while the recent build-up to 

Avengers has been encouraging, 

with Iron Man, Th o r, 

and Captain America all 

raising the standard in 

different ways. While there 

have been wobbles (Iron 

Man 2’s villains, the sheer 

oddness of Th o rand the 

tone of Captain America), 

overall the project to create a 

‘Marvel Cinematic Universe’ 

has paid off, with Avengers 

looking to be one of the standout 

films of the summer, both commercially 

and critically. To prove a 

point, at the last Courier film meeting, 

the air was filled with a mixture of begging, 

attempted bribery and more than one suggestion 

of decapitation in the competition 

for the tickets to the preview screening. 

A lot of this has come about because the 

standard of acting and actors has increased 

as the genre has developed. Serious names 

like Hopkins, Portman, Johansson, Downey 

Jr, Paltrow, Jackson, Weaving and Bridges 

have appeared in front of the camera while 

Whedon and Brannagh direct, introducing 

newer names like Hemsworth, Hiddlestone, 

Renner, Ruffalo and Evans. The perfect 

example of this occurred between Iron Man 

and the sequel; Terrence Howard thankfully 

left the project, replaced by Don Cheadle, an 

actor with a far better pedigree who gave a 

far better performance. Furthermore, scripts 

have gone from showing off the CGI to getting 

deeper into the character, the questions 

of what it is to be a hero, and the characters 

themselves are given room to develop beyond 

the traditional ‘get superpowers, fight 

crime’ line. 

There is, of course, still work to be done. 

Studios are still putting out howlers like 

Green Lantern, and the industry cannot 

get complacent. That said, given the hype 

of Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises and the 

potentially brilliant The Amazing Spiderman, 

this summer could see the beginning 

of a new generation of high quality 

superhero films. And when the alternative is 

Transformers or Twilight, the question isn’t 

a hard one. 

3 

David Hasselhoff 

Jump in his car but maybe think twice about 

jumping in his pool. Hasselhoff plays the 

surreptitious and sinister lifeguard in the 

upcoming summer release ‘Piranha 3DD’. 

Not a lot needs to be said about a film that 

has the strapline ‘twice the terror, double 

the Ds’, but I have faith that the Hoff will 

certainly do the role justice. 

2 

Hilary Duff 

Duff found fame in the successful Disney 

series Lizzie McGuire and then went on to 

release an album with classic (and memorable) 

songs such as the brilliantly named 

‘So Yesterday’. Needless to say, this set the 

precedent for her inevitably astonishing 

Hollywood debut. See her emotional, moving 

performances in both Cheaper by the 

Dozen and A Cinderella Story . 

The ‘Ahhnold’ school of Acting 

With the former Governator packing in politics and 

returning to film this year Luke Hearfield takes a look 

over the signature ‘method’ that made the Hollywood legend. 

He’s a man who’s triumphed in the 

world of body building, became 

governor of California and practically 

has moons orbiting him. But the last 

action hero has become a household name 

primarily due to his ‘acting’ ability. If any 

Clarity? 

Deliver dialogue as if you have a locked jaw. 

One of Arnie’s most distinguishable traits is 

his ability to turn the English language into a 

distorted riddle of jargon. His remarkably 

square head is so compact that his mouth 

only opens about a centimetre. 

of you protein-shake-guzzling lads that 

dominate the free weights at the gym are 

considering a career in acting, here are a 

few helpful tips from The Terminator himself 

that demonstrate the ‘method’ behind 

the man. 

‘Emotion’ 

Anyone can flex muscles but it takes a real actor 

to pull at the heartstrings. It’s not all about cigars 

and banging Sharon Stone, but expressing the 

single-minded determination to get the child back. 

From feeding the deer and eating ice -cream with 

Jenny in Commando to getting the ‘Turboman’ 

for Jamie, beneath his gargauntuan exterior 

he’s really as soft as mashed potato. 

1 

Jessica Simpson 

With a couple of multi-platinum albums 

under her belt, Jessica Simpson’s musical 

endeavours crept upon the world like a 

nasty rash. Her ascent to cinematic stardom 

was less subtle. Best known as Daisy Duke 

in Dukes of Hazzard, some forget she also 

starred in the ground-breaking Employee 

of the Month – who knew that a film shot 

primarily in Costco would receive mostly 

negative reviews? 

Lauren Stafford 

One-Liners 

Become the king of one-liners. He may be 

ridiculously monotone, but the man has had more 

catch phrases than Meryl Streep has had Oscar 

nominations. From “if it bleeds, we kill it” to “put 

that cookie down!” his trademark delivery has immortalised 

him as a quick-witted badass. Oneliners 

gain more points if based on immediate 

context and can help in potential future 

political campaigns. 

Illustration: Hannah Scully 

Let Loose 

When freaking out, always go overboard. 

Simply look at Conan the Barbarian and Batman 

and Robin. When he’s being thrashed, he 

makes sounds similar to Opie the mentally 

challenged co-worker in Family Guy. 

Listen to it, if you don’t believe me. 

‘WTF Factor’ 

Taking on high-concept films is a must for the 

‘WTF factor’. Step aside Sean Penn , only Arnold 

has the range and scale to portray man... giving 

birth. Ugh . A healthy dose of animal cruelty 

doesn’t hurt either. Whether punching camels 

in Conan or reindeers in Jingle all the Way it’s 

always satisfying to lay the smackdown 

upon nature’s creatures.



Avengers: Assemble 

Joss Whedon’s highly anticipated superhero 

epic has finally reached British shores, 

albeit with a rather conspicuous name 

change. Mind, I imagine there’s quite a lot of overlap 

on the Venn diagram between ‘fans of 1970s 

British spy show The Avengers’ and ‘people who go 

to see movies based on the title alone’. 

Robert Downey Jr. returns as Tony Stark, continuing 

his run of electric portrayals of the character 

and getting the bulk of Whedon’s trademark oneliners. 

While it’s Tony’s style to steal every scene 

he’s in, it’s his effortless chemistry with Cap and 

Thor which makes the team feel so fully realised, 

when it could have easily felt like nothing but a 

few old movies spliced together. 

A lot of fans were worried that the human members 

of the team – Nick Fury, Hawkeye, and Black 

Widow – would get the short end of the stick, 

considering they haven’t had any movies of their 

own and lack any real powers to speak of, but 

these fears are well and truly put to rest. Fury is 

developed into the super-secretive, vaguely menacing 

anti-hero from the comics, and Hawkeye 

and Widow are given just as many asses to kick 

as their teammates, although Hawkeye’s character 

did wind up a bit flat. Ultimately though, this 

movie belongs to The Incredible Hulk, who more 

than earns his obligatory adjective. Of the three 

Bruce Banners we’ve had in the last decade, Mark 

Ruffalo is by far the best. His Banner is jaded and 

sarcastic, having become so used to the Hulk that 

he can crack jokes about it. As for the big green 

guy, he’s more fleshed out than ever, less of a 

rampaging monster and more of a character in his 

own right. 

Michael Bay, take note: this is how you do 

a 45-minute action climax. Worlds removed 

from the head-splitting shaky-cam nonsense of 

reviewsfilm.37 

Film Editor: Chris Binding 

Online Film Editor: Hayley Hamilton 

the Transformers franchise, the final battle is a 

gorgeous whirl of colour, filled with genuine emotion, 

inspired team-ups, and with each character 

getting a chance to shine. And by shine, I mean 

murder hundreds of aliens. The movie’s crowning 

glory is a breathtaking tracking shot which flies 

through the city, showcasing each Avenger at their 

most badass, and culminating in the greatest Hulk 

moment of them all. 

By the end of it all, there remains obvious scope 

for a whole spew of sequels, and you’d better start 

praying now that when we finally reach Avengers 

2 we see Whedon back at the helm. Oh, and let 

me save you five minutes of your life: there is one 

bonus scene, and it comes halfway through the 

credits; don’t bother waiting until the end. And 

for Marvel diehards, it’s an absolute corker. 

VERDICT: While a five star rating may seem like 

the blind gushing of a fanboy, this is honestly the 

best we were ever going to get, and then some. In 

a world where disappointment seemed like the 

only option, the Avengers have, yes, assembled to 

prove the doubters wrong. 

Sam Summers 

Breathing Marley Lockout Salmon Fishing in the Yemen 

Austrian arthouse effort Breathing follows 

the life of Roman Kogler, a young offender 

attempting to reconcile himself with 

his violent past while also trying to contend 

with a snide co-worker intent on making his life 

hell, parole hearings, and finding out who his 

mother is. He’s got a lot on his plate, poor lamb. 

The spur he needs to take control of his life is 

provided by a sudden and unexpected move into 

the undertaking business, which director Karl 

Markovics uses to explore the film’s key themes 

– the fragility of life and the notion of responsibility 

– and establishes a dark, morbid tone, though 

there are flashes of wit and optimism throughout. 

Thomas Schubert is excellent as Kogler, 

managing to be likeable while giving an entirely 

believable portrayal of a frustrated eighteenyear-old; 

monosyllabic and surly to the point 

of being catatonic. Breathing was highly praised 

when it opened at last year’s Cannes festival, 

and Markovics’ direction is one of its strongest 

points: pleasantly unobtrusive, and mostly using 

static panoramas which force attention onto both 

the fine central performances and the subtle but 

powerful script, also written by Markovics. The 

only criticism one could make is that the climax is 

a little underwhelming, though arguably a livelier 

ending would have been completely at odds with 

the glacial pace of the rest of the film. Given that 

this represents Markovics’ first attempt at direction, 

Breathing is handled with great confidence 

and delicacy, and comes highly recommended. 

When the Jamaican sun dapples the camera 

lens with multicoloured sparks as 

friends and relatives of the late Bob 

Marley share their experiences with him, there 

is hardly a need to explain how the king of Reggae’s 

music came about. 

Marley contains the essence of the Reggae 

legend; the colours, setting and of course, 

soundtrack, come straight from the man. 

Director Kevin MacDonald’s build up from 

Marley’s humble beginnings in Saint Ann Parish 

to becoming not just famous but idolised, creates 

a gripping story, especially when contrasted with 

Marley’s philosophy and thus his own personal 

struggles which developed in this turn of events. 

And then there is the strange reoccurring motif 

of Marley’s love of football, a love which arguably 

contributed to his early demise, a melanoma on 

his toe neglected for so long in the belief it was a 

football injury. As the Rastafarian preachings of 

eternal life achieved through treating one’s body 

as a temple (aka fitness) are explained, it seems director 

Kevin MacDonald is possibly relishing this 

cruel irony. After all, any form of film, Rastafarian 

or not, is commercial. 

The inclusion of Marley’s children dipping into 

the family archives of video footage brings a 

personal touch to the film which is often missing 

from music documentaries, giving a deep 

personal insight into the man’s life which facts and 

performance clips can’t fully capture. 

April seems to be the time of the year 

when insanely stupid action films come 

out of hibernation and devolve the 

audience’s imagination into a soft sludge. 

First was the appalling Battleship and now 

Lockout has arrived to reach a new low of mindless 

escapism. Set in the year 2079, where the 

world’s nastiest criminals are housed in a freezing 

facility that orbits Earth, Emilie Warnock 

(Maggie Grace), a humanitarian activist who 

just so happens to be the president’s daughter, is 

sent to evaluate the facility’s effects on its tenants. 

After a riot breaks out, the prison is overrun by 

its inmates leaving Emilie and the other workers 

hostages. 

With no other options, the government 

sends wrongly-convicted criminal Snow (Guy 

Pearce) on a kamikaze mission to retrieve her 

in exchange for a pardoning. Lockout is driven 

by its incredibly sarcastic script and moves with 

great energy. Pearce (who needs to invest in 

buying some larger t-shirts) delivers the quips 

and bad-boy attitude making him an amusing 

anti-hero but unfortunately most of the dialogue 

is rather hit and miss. There is a nice chemistry 

between Grace and Pearce but it’s not enough to 

redeem the film. It relies too heavily on the action 

sequences which felt like rip-off attempts of 

other sci-fi films like Minority Report and Blade 

Runner. And even CGI fans will find that the 

computer graphics don’t meet expectations. Lockout 

is a brain-at-the-door picture if ever there 

was one, but what did you really expect? 

Ewan McGregor: this guy should be reason 

enough to watch this film. His role in director 

Lasse Hallström’s latest work might 

not be as dramatic as when he played the poet 

Christian in Moulin Rouge, drug addict Mark 

Renton in Trainspotting or the young Obi-Wan- 

Kenobi, but then again, it’s proof of his diversity. 

As Dr. Fred Jones, he plays a marvellously 

stiff fisheries expert for the government who is 

charged with a project for an slightly eccentric 

and swearing, yet charming sheik (Amr Waked): 

introducing salmon and salmon fishing in the 

desert country of the Yemen. His colleague for the 

venture is Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (Emily Blunt), 

a consultant fearing for her soldier boyfriend’s 

life. Despite their initial disagreement about the 

feasibility of the project, which is unremittingly 

pushed by the prime minister’s press officer (Kristin 

Scott Thomas in a hilarious underpart), the 

two grow closer together as the project progresses, 

becoming more and more relatable. 

If you’re a fan of dry British humour, taking the 

mickey out of bureaucracy and the characters 

that keep it alive, and stories of emotional human 

transformations (and Ewan McGregor with his 

adorable Scottish accent), this is the film for you. 

It has more substance to it than the average romcom 

whilst outshining them on both the romance 

and comedy by far. In addition, the contrasting 

settings of the Scottish highlands and the Yemen’s 

desert are a feast for the eyes. Word of advice: 

take a cup of tea and some scones with you to the 

cinema. 

VERDICT: At times morbid and always dark 

but with a sentimental centre, Breathing shows 

that Markovics’ directorial future holds great 

promise. 

VERDICT: This film is definitely one for avid 

fans. While interesting information is thrown up, 

two and a half hours is a lot of Bob. 

VERDICT: Lockout would be a smoothie concoction 

if you mixed Con Air and Escape from 

New York in a blender. However, it’s a little too 

chunky to savour, but any man with a sense of 

boyish imagination should enjoy it. 

VERDICT: A lovely story with well-constructed 

characters and just the right amount of humour 

to not let the film become a blunt comedy. Oh, 

and have I mentioned Ewan McGregor is in it? 

Tom Nicholson 

Mallory McDonald 

Luke Hearfield 

Lisa Bernhardt

38.science&technologynews 

thecourieronline.co.uk/science 

c2.science@ncl.ac.uk 

Monday 30 April Th eCourier 

5 things 

you need to 

know 

2012 

Kim-bodia 

The Mayan Calendar 

4 

The 2012 App 

Apple has a 2012 Application that for the 

bargain price of £1 will offer handy tips 

and friendly advice to guide you through 

your ascension to an all-energy state or to 

stay happy when Niburu crashes into the 

Earth or whatever. A video advert for the 

App features a single comment: “This is the 

dumbest thing I have ever seen.” 

3 

5 

In about 238BC, the Mayans used the sacred 

Haab and Tzolkin calendars to predict the 

date of the beginning of a new cycle: 21 

December 2012. In Mayan culture, this is 

actually something to be celebrated, only the 

interference of Christian conspiracy theorists 

has found tenuous links to end of days 

The Gringo Invention 

According to myth, the mysterious Mayans 

completely vanished from the Earth soon 

after making the 2012 prediction. They 

didn’t. Over 7 million people of Mayan decent 

are alive today in Central America. The 

interpretation that their calendar predicts 

Armageddon is considered an insult to their 

heritage. 

2 

Y2K 

In 1999 everyone made a huge deal of the 

Y2K, the mysterious computer bug that 

would bring the technology mediated 

destruction of the world as all computers 

simultaneously crashed. Nothing happened. 

Y2K-proofing was big business. 2012 gives 

unscrupulous people the new vehicle to 

make lots of money from the paranoia of 

the archetypal conspiracy hippy. 

1 

Coast to coast 

DavidDennisPhotos.com 

DERP 

Florin Hatmanu 

The end of the world (or not, whatever) will 

most likely be broadcast in its uneventful 

entirety on America’s hilarious paranoia 

radio station Coast to Coast AM. The host, 

George Noory is the peddler of the “omigod 

you guize” conspiracy geeks, worshipping 

Cthulu and hunting ghosts with a torch and 

butterfly net. Listen to it, it’ll be hilarious. 

Take Maya word for it. 

Science lessons from Sinatra 

Geordie Sinatra and what it teaches about dementia 

Ever wondered what it was like to actually 

have dementia? Maybe some of you 

have experience of it through an elderly 

relative, or even after a particularly heavy 

night. To inform the public on the necessity 

of their research into ageing, the Changing 

Age team has teamed up with New Writing 

North to deliver a play based on the science 

and experience of dementia. 

The three playwrights had personal 

experience of the disorder, and had worked 

alongside patients and carers who shared 

their thoughts and experiences willingly. 

Their experiences have informed the play 

Geordie Sinatra. 

Last week, there was a chance to meet 

the writers and Changing Age scientists 

Professor Jim Edwardson, founding director 

of the Institute for Ageing and Health, 

neuroscientist Professor Elaine Perry and 

senior lecturer in old age psychiatry Professor 

Elizabeta Mukaetova-Ladinska, who 

provided insight into the research that they 

perform into the disease on a daily basis. 

What About Me? A Conversation Between 

Arts & Science About Dementia took place 

before the play last Wednesday. 

The play itself has been awarded a fair 

amount of critical praise, and for those of 

you who are tempted, has the following 

press release. 

Geordie Sinatra by Fiona Evans, Live 

Theatre, Newcastle, Wednesday 18 April to 

Saturday 12 May. A new play presented by 

Live Theatre & Stephen Joseph Theatre in 

association with New Writing North. “Th a t ’ s 

life, that’s what all the people say; you’re 

riding high in April, shot down in May… 

Welcome to the coolest party in town. Kick 

back, snap a Dunhill, help yourself to the 

liquor cart and let Frank ‘The Voice’ Sinatra 

serenade you till the wee small hours. That’s 

what’s going on in ex-club singer Geordie’s 

head anyway. His dementia-induced hallucinations 

are causing his daughter Nancy 

major headaches that make her wonder, 

what would Ava Gardner do? Geordie 

...the Changing 

Age team has 

teamed up with New 

Writing North to 

deliver a play based 

on the science and 

experience of 

dementia. 

Stevegarfi eld Flickr 

Sinatra is a dark comedy that gets under the 

skin of dementia”. 

This is a fine collaboration of science and 

arts, almost as seamless as what happens 

in the centre section of The Courier every 

week. Work like this goes a long way to 

show the diverse manner in which science 

can be communicated to the public. 

Putting paid to Parkinson’s 

The world’s largest and most comprehensive Parkinson’s study is about to begin 

The biggest and most in-depth study into 

Parkinson’s disease ever performed 

anywhere in the world is about to 

happen under our noses. With investment of 

over £1.6 million, the hope is that the mysteries 

of the disease can be unlocked and a cure 

finally found. 

The study will look at volunteers aged 

under 50 diagnosed with the disease in the 

last 3 years and their siblings. With the aid 

of Newcastle-upon-Tyne Hospitals NHS 

Foundation Trust, the Clinical Ageing 

Research Unit will be one of the key centre 

in the pioneering ‘Tracking Parkinson’s’ 

clinical trial. Professor of Movement Disorder 

Neurology David Burn is taking time 

out from music (not really) to lead up the 

investigative team. 

He said of the basis of the study that 

“Finding a cure for Parkinson’s is what 

every researcher in the field dreams about. 

Tracking Parkinson’s is a major new research 

project and we are very excited to be 

involved right at the beginning. This study 

really offers hope for the future for people 

with Parkinson’s and we need around 150 

people in Newcastle and the North East to 

volunteer to help us make our vision of a 

cure a reality.” 

The main aim of the study is to identify 

the biomarkers for Parkinson’s disease that 

have until now eluded researchers. These 

could allow for the development of simple 

tests to use in early diagnosis, which is 

crucial to allow doctors to prescribe the 

appropriate medication to control, and halt 

disease progression. 

Parkinson’s is a distressing disorder,with 

patients developing symptoms like anxiety, 

memory lapses, dyskinesia, memory lapses, 

chronic indigestion and the prototype low 

Photo Flickr EMSL 

This study really 

offers hope for 

the future for 

people with 

Parkinson’s 

frequency tremor. Response to treatment 

will be monitored closely for up to five 

years. 

Dr Kieran Breen, Director of Research and 

Innovation at Parkinson’s UK said: “Studies 

like ‘Tracking Parkinson’s’ could make a 

huge difference and help us to ultimately 

find a cure. Identifying biomarkers is key 

and would revolutionise the diagnosis and 

management of Parkinson’s. Finding a cure 

for Parkinson’s is like building a gigantic jigsaw, 

but we still have a number of the pieces 

missing. This vital new study will help us fill 

in some of the gaps in our knowledge. “We 

hope ‘Tracking Parkinson’s’ will also help us 

to identify people who have a greater risk of 

developing Parkinson’s and we can monitor 

them more accurately.” 

A cure may be a long way off, but identifying 

the symptoms and treating them early 

could abrogate the distress experienced by 

disease sufferers.


Technology 

Monday 30 April 

I am Awesom-o 

What makes movies memorable? 

featuresscience&technology.39 

The 

Science Editor: Mark Atwill 

Science Online Editor: Adam Bristow-Smith 

Weird 

Science 

Space mining 

“We’re going to need a bigger boat…” A classic 

quote from the film Jaws there. Here’s one from 

Star Wars “That’s no moon, it’s a space station”. 

Wasn’t that fun? Memorable lines in movies 

seem to have a way of ingraining themselves 

into the mass psyche, but can a computer 

recognize the thing that makes these quotes 

memorable? 

Researcher Cristian Danescu-Niculescu- 

Mizil at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, 

encountered resistance to his suggestion that the 

patterns in the speech that rendered it memorable 

could be broken down into a mathematical form 

a computer could comprehend; “It’s cultural” they 

said. “A computer can’t catch it.” Just like syphilis. 

‘They’ may have to have a rethink. Niculescu- 

Mizil and colleagues have seemingly taught a 

Picture this 

computer to identify memorable movie quotes 

from databases of thousands, with much the 

same accuracy of a human test subject. Enter 

Awesom-o; the days of the movie robot thinking 

up memorable lines are dawning. 

The team amassed quotes from IMDb, which 

has a list of lines flagged by users as memorable. 

There are apparently a few key elements that make 

a line memorable, and one of the most important 

seems to be its context. Consequently, the team 

designed experimental controls using a memorable 

line coupled with an ordinary one from the 

same context. The lines were the same length, 

from the same part of the film and spoken by the 

same character. 

About 2200 pairs of quotes were analysed by 

the computer for key language patterns, unusual 

South Park - Youtube 

Something pisci’s going on 

words and word combinations. The computer 

was able to determine a pattern of factors that 

make a line memorable. As Niculescu-Mizil 

explained: “The phrases contain surprising 

combinations of words, but at the same time they 

have a syntactic structure that is common, so they 

are easy to use.” Memorable quotes also seem to 

have what the team dubs ‘generality’. That is, they 

are context-independent and can be used in any 

situation. For example, “we’re going to need a 

bigger boat” would never have been memorable 

if Chief Brody had said “we’re going to need THE 

bigger boat.” 

The computer guessed memorable quotes with 

an accuracy of 64%. Humans scored a mean of 

78%, but it took them a lot longer. 

James Ricketts Isaac Newton’s writings on gravity, the Principia Mathematica which has 

become one of the most important scientific works was almost never published by the 

Royal Society after suffering the expensive flop of the lavishly illustrated Historia Piscium 

Right now, a bored billionaire is 

buying a football team somewhere 

in the universe. Now it seems they 

have a new pet project. It may sound a 

little science fiction, but enterprising 

technology tycoons are attempting to get a 

business mining asteroids off the ground. 

Literally. 

The company will be called Planetary 

Resources, and outlined last week in Seattle 

its plans to mine near-Earth asteroids for 

precious metals. As company founder Eric 

Anderson told Wired Science “The resources 

of Earth pale in comparison to the wealth of 

the solar system.” 

The company is backed by billionaires 

at Google, Microsoft, Dell and is advised 

by NASA, and for some reason James 

Cameron? Apparently because he wrote a 

script about some future people mining a 

made up element on a distant planet full of 

blue people (called Dances with Smurfs or 

something) he’s an authority. Give Michael 

Bay a call, he made Armageddon and he’d be 

JDalisica-Flickr 

If the Royal Society had published the trivial 

‘Principia’ by Isaac Newton rather than the 

infl uential and all-inspiring ‘Historia Piscium 

Volume II’ we would have been without our vital 

fl oating land-fi sh we rely on in our everyday lives 

Let’s hope the tech billionaires have a good 

space pilot, the best in the galaxy in fact 

SO into this 

The first step is to build a small fleet of 

telescopes to identify potential valuable 

resources in nearby asteroids. This is due to 

happen ‘within the next few years’. Asteroids 

are apparently rich in platinum and nickel, 

precious metals that continually grow in 

value as Earth’s stores run dry. If the survey 

missions haven’t happened yet, how do they 

know that? You could say they’re made of 

buttermilk and the tears of mournful sailors. 

Then there are the logistics to consider. 

The Japanese space agency was almost ruined 

by the Hayabusa probe which was hit 

by a violent solar storm on a sampling trip 

to the asteroid Itokawa. The sampling device 

didn’t work properly, communications were 

disrupted, and the probe returned with only 

a few grains of dust. A better idea - apparently 

- may be to harvest resources from 

mini-Moons, which are asteroids that have 

become temporarily trapped in Earth’s orbit. 

The actual practical processes of drilling, 

mining and refining resources in zero-gravity 

have not even been discussed. Also, the 

1967 Outer Space Treaty means ownership 

of asteroids is a complex issue. 

NASA cannot afford space exploration anymore. 

That is the harsh reality. If Planetary 

Resources can find a way to make mining 

missions commercially viable, they may find 

a way to fund space exploration, and who 

doesn’t love space exploration?

40 

Puzzles 

thecourieronline.co.uk/puzzles 

You can fi nd the 

answers to this 

week’s puzzles at 

thecourieronline. 

co.uk/puzzles 



c2.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk 

Puzzles Editor: Laura Armitage 

Sudoku 

Easy 

Medium 

Hard 

Word Link 

Find the missing word that connects these three words together. 

Injection Solid Tank 

Crossword 

Cream Powder Slice 

Dating Jump Jet 

Fixed Liquid Stripper 

Wordsearch 

Keep fit 

AEROBICS 

ATHLETICS 

BALANCE BEAM 

BARBELL 

BICEPS 

BIKE 

BODY BUILDING 

DELTOID 

DIET 

EXERCISE 

FITNESS 

GYMNASIUM 

HEALTH 

HORSE 

JOGGING 

MEDICINE BALL 

MUSCLES 

NUTRITION 

PARALLEL BARS 

PECTORAL 

PHYSIQUE 

PUSH UPS 

RINGS 

ROWING MACHINE 

RUNNING 

SPORT 

SWIMMING 

TRAINER 

TRAMPOLINE 

TREADMILL 

TRICEPS 

WEIGHTS 

WORKOUT 

Across 

1. Assortment (7) 

5. Group of insects (5) 

8. Large herbivorous mammal (5) 

9. Pagan (7) 

10. Unfeigned (7) 

11. Ledge (5) 

12. Lifted (6) 

14. Appraise (6) 

17. Notions (5) 

19. Fruit (7) 

21. Direction (7) 

22. Taut or rigid (5) 

24. Days of the month (5) 

25. Embroiled (7) 

Down 

1. Chart (3) 

2. Inert gas (5) 

3. Dissimilar (7) 

4. Reverberated (6) 

5. Photos (5) 

6. Attain (7) 

7. Public declaration (9) 

10. Decorated food (9) 

13. Imprecise (7) 

15. Abridge (7) 

16. Captured (6) 

18. Secret agents (5) 

20. Invalidate (5) 

23. Conclusion (3)


Sport 

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport 


41 

Sport Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin 

and Rory Brigstock-Barron 

Online Sport Editors: Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott 

courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk 

Once you hop you just can’t stop 

Budding triple jumper and Olympic Torchbearer Emma Pringle talks to Sports Editor Colin Henrys 

One of Newcastle’s brightest 

athletics prospects is set to play 

her role in this year’s Olympics 

after being selected to carry the 

Olympic Torch. 

Emma Pringle, a second-year Natural 

Sciences student, received her nomination 

through the Lloyds TSB Local Hero 

scheme and will now carry the Torch 

through her hometown of Alnwick in 

June. 

Talking exclusively to The Courier, she 

explained that she has been involved in 

Athletics since she was 10: 

“It was just a normal PE lesson. We 

were doing standing long jump and my 

teacher saw potential in my jumping so 

he gave me a few numbers. 

“I chose Gateshead Harriers and that’s 

where I still am now.” 

Having been a heptathlete, Emma 

now focuses mostly on triple jump. 

“The thought of doing another 800m 

in the heptathlon was too much! I’ve 

never been known to be able to run that 

far,” she laughed. 

“[Triple jump] started from a Sports 

Hall athletics session. We were doing 

standing long jump and we moved on 

to standing triple jump. I discovered I 

was pretty good at standing triple so it 

progressed from there.” 

Despite now specialising in the triple 

jump, she does still compete in other 

events too. 

“In competitions in the 

summer when I compete 

for Gateshead in 

senior league matches 

I will do other events 

for them. I’ve done 

hurdles, high jump, 

shot putt and 

javelin.” 

Her training 

is very 

much 

a 

family 

affair 

as she is 

coached by her 

mum, help she 

greatly appreciates: 

“Without 

her 

I wouldn’t have 

a coach so I’m 

very grateful for 

her stepping in 

when my long 

jump coach disappeared. 

She 

stepped in and 

literally it progressed 

from 

long jump to 

triple. 

“We have our 

moments 

but 

it’s fine!” 

When 

asked 

about her training 

Emma explained 

that she 

trains six days a 

week – Monday through Saturday 

– but laughs off the question 

as to whether it is an early morning affair: 

“Morning? Haha! I’m not a morning 

person whatsoever! It’s more eveningbased 

training although on Tuesday 

and Thursday when I do strength and 

conditioning that’s through a different 

coach. 

“He’s from a funding scheme by Sport 

England. He’s called Luke and he fits 

our sessions in around my studying.” 

In terms of balancing training with 

studying, she confesses: 

“It’s pretty hard. But, having my mum 

as my coach, she understands that I 

have to study so she sorts my sessions 

out around my schedule. We can fit our 

sessions in so it’s not too bad.” 

Looking ahead to the summer, Emma 

can’t hide her excitement. As well as 

carrying the Torch, she will also be 

competing at the Olympic Stadium next 

weekend as part of the BUCS Outdoor 

Championships, one of the London 

Prepares Olympic Test events. 

She admits that she had not expected 

to be asked to carry the Torch, despite 

knowing that she had been nominated. 

“Through Lloyds I had to nominate 

myself and say why I deserved to run 

with it, and nominate one other person. 

I did nominate my mum but she didn’t 

get picked. 

“I was shocked when I got the phone 

call! I didn’t think I’d be asked to carry 

it. I knew I’d been nominated but I 

didn’t think it would go any further 

than that.” 

It also allows her to be a part of the 

Olympics, which she admits is “absolutely 

amazing.” 

“I knew I wouldn’t be involved as an 

athlete. I’m still a bit young. I’ve still got 

a way to go in the sport so just carrying 

the torch is good enough for me! 

“With having the Olympics here 

there has been a lot of funding 

going into the younger athletes 

at grassroots level, which is 

what you need in athletics. 

“For any team you need 

youngsters to come 

through in order to 

have a team in the future.” 

Alongside 

being 

asked to carry the Torch, 

Emma also received the boost 

of learning that she has been retained 

on the Lloyds TSB scheme for 

another year. 

“It’s extremely important,” she explained. 

“The funding is brilliant – of 

course – but they also give you 

media training and what to look 

forward to in the Olympics. 

“Of course, through them I got 

to carry the Torch so I have a lot to 

be thankful for from them! 

“It’s a brilliant scheme. It’s nice for 

people and companies to recognise other 

athletes’ potentials and get on board 

and help them to achieve what they 

want to achieve, and help you to aspire 

to your goals and aspirations in life.” 

At the BUCS Championships, Emma 

will be representing Newcastle in the 

triple jump. The event is scheduled for 

the Saturday, for which 40,000 tickets 

have been sold at the Olympic Stadium. 

“I know. How amazing is that? It’s absolutely 

fantastic that we get to use the 

“I’m just taking the 

experience as it comes and 

hopefully I’ll be progressing 

in the right direction.” 

Emma Pringle carrying the Olympic Torch, which she will do so again as part of the Torch Relay Photography: Northumberland Gazette 

venue that’s going to be used for world 

class athletes in the months to come. 

“I was just told last night that all the 

tickets had sold out and I was like that’s 

40,000 people! I’ve never competed in 

front of a crowd bigger than 100 so it’s 

going to be different. 

“It’s going to be a different experience, 

but it’s going to be one to take away definitely 

– something to learn from.” 

She enters the competition on the 

back of some good form too, having recorded 

a personal best at the Outdoor 

Championships in the autumn and then 

again at Stan Calvert this year. Her jump 

of 12.63m at Gateshead was nearly two 

metres longer than her nearest competitor. 

Nevertheless she is still looking to 

better herself. 

“I’m hoping to get nearer the 13 metre 

mark this year. I need to get 13.10m to 

get the UK top 10 target on the Power of 

10 (the rankings for athletes). 

“These past couple of weeks [training] 

has started to pick up and I’m starting to 

jump as far as I wanted to.” 

On her chances in London, she told 

The Courier: 

“My Mum has [seen the list of competitors]. 

I’m one of those people who 

goes with the flow. On the day whoever 

is above me could end up doing three 

no jumps and not even qualify for the 

final or qualify for the final and then 

do three no jumps and not record any 

jump. 

“It doesn’t really matter where I’m 

ranked or who I’m up against because 

at the end of the day it’s down to what 

you do. 

“I got the bronze at the indoor BUCS 

so I’m hopeful and looking at getting 

any medal really. To get a medal at 

BUCS would be an achievement and 

something to come away with, especially 

at the Olympic Stadium – something 

to shout about.” 

As for the future, Emma has high 

hopes but is remaining grounded for 

the time being: 

“Well I am actually aspiring for the 

2016 Rio Olympics. We’ll see how the 

next few years go. There are triple jumpers 

who are jumping big distances but 

they’ve got ten years on me. 

“They’re like 30 or even older than 

that so I feel I’ve got time. I’m not rushing 

anything. I’m just taking the experience 

as it comes and hopefully I’ll be 

progressing in the right direction.”

42.sportfeature 



Formula One fails to flag up the issue 

Freddie Caldwell looks at Bernie Ecclestone and the FIA’s conduct in allowing the Bahrain GP to go ahead 

The 2012 Bahrain Grand Prix turned 

out to be the most controversial sporting 

event of the year so far; not because 

of anything that happened on 

the track during the race weekend, 

but rather because of the politics surrounding 

the event which raised the 

question: should it have gone ahead in 

the first place? 

In 2011 Bahrain was one of the many 

countries caught up in the Arab Spring 

and violence in the country lead to the 

race being cancelled for that year. However, 

the race was included on the calendar 

for 2012 with motorsport’s governing 

body, the FIA, accepting assurances 

from Bahrain that the situation had improved. 

Before Formula One arrived in the 

Gulf this year it was apparent to most 

observers that whilst the situation may 

have been different from the previous 

year, it could still not be described as 

stable, which led to safety concerns. In 

addition to this, questions were raised 

as to whether the sport should be seen 

to be endorsing a regime that has been 

criticised by human rights campaigners 

for its violent suppression of protests 

since the unrest began. 

Despite these concerns, those in 

charge of making the final decision 

knew that the financial cost of not staging 

the race would be substantial and 

they decided to give the go ahead. 

All those in F1 hoped that once they 

arrived in Bahrain the focus would be 

on racing, however, it quickly became 

apparent that that would not be the 

case when a few days before the race, 

members of the Force India team were 

caught in the middle of a clash between 

protestors and police. 

Again questions were raised about security 

and some of the members of the 

Force India team returned home. There 

was a very real possibility that there 

could be protests at the race itself, the 

ramifications of which would be substantial. 

Bernie Ecclestone and Prince 

Salman Bin Hamad prepare to 

talk to the assembled media in 

Bahrain after the controversial 

decision to allow the Grand 

Prix to go ahead. 

Photography: 

Getty Images 

Political protests are not uncommon 

at sporting events, a recent example in 

this country would be the man deciding 

to take a swim in the Thames during 

the Boat Race. That event demonstrated 

how potentially dangerous and disruptive 

a protest from one person can be, 

and given that Bahrain has seen large 

groups involved in the unrest, a race day 

protest was a very worrying prospect. 

Luckily, the race passed without incident 

with Sebastian Vettel taking his 

first victory of the season after an exciting 

battle with Kimi Raikkonen. Despite 

all of the fuss surrounding the politics 

of the race, the fact that it was entertaining 

is probably the factor that the majority 

of F1 fans watching the race will 

have paid most attention to. However, 

despite the fact that this was a positive 

end result in sporting terms, it does not 

mean that the political aspect to the 

event should be overlooked. 

In an ideal world, sport and politics 

would never mix; they are not natural 

bedfellows. The political situation in 

Bahrain is very complicated and is not 

something that can easily be solved or 

helped by a sporting event. The hope 

will be that the international community 

is now more aware of the political 

issues that Bahrain is struggling with as 

a result of the race being held. In general 

though, sporting events should not 

be seen as an instrument of political 

change. 

When deciding whether to hold a 

sporting event or not, the security of the 

participants and the spectators should 

always be the primary concern, and in 

this case it does appear that this may not 

have been the case. Whenever possible, 

politics should be kept separate; hopefully 

this is a lesson that the bosses of 

Formula 1 have learnt as a result of the 

Bahrain Grand Prix. 

Back of the net 

Video of the week 

Geoff Shreeves tells Ivanovic he’ll miss the final 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrSFKbFCDMQ 

In the post-match interview after their victory over Barcelona, 

Geoff Shreeves breaks the news to Branislav Ivanovic that he 

is suspended from the final. 

Tweet of the week 

-Gary Neville - @GNev2 

“@WestwoodLee do you not get excited when 

see a 6 ft, with long blonde hair and legs out 

about to hit the target!! ” 

(25 April) Gary Neville attempts to justify his orgasm-like 

scream during commentary on the Chelsea-Barcelona Champions 

League clash the night before 

Testing times 

1.) Who was the last player to make his England football 

debut while playing for a club from outside of England? 

2.) Which football club has the worst overall goal difference 

since the Premier League began? 

3.) Who was the highest ranked player to lose in the first 

round of the Snooker World Championship last week? 

4.) Which England international has scored the most alltime 

points in the Rugby Premiership? 

5.) Who was the first English footballer to score a Premier 

League hat trick? 

1.) Jay Bothroyd (Cardiff City); 2.) Sunderland; 

3.) Mark Selby (number two seed); 4.) Charlie 

Hodgson 5.) Mark Robins 

This week in sport 

University Sport - 30 Apr 2006: Men’s Rugby Union 

were crowned Club of the Year at the AU Ball. 

Intra Mural - 30 Apr 2006: Athletico Jizzmen came 

from behind in a Cup Final penalty shootout to beat Inter 

Minan, spawning the headline ‘Jizzed On!’ 

World - 1 May 1930: Don Bradman scores 236 for Australia 

against Worcestershire on his maiden first class appearance 

in England. 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

Spot the ball 

A B C D E F 

Send the correct coordinates of the ball to courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk to enter a 

draw to win a £5 Mens Bar voucher. 

Last week’s winner (hockey) was Charlotte Howatson. The ball was in 

B4. Please collect your £5 Mens Bar voucher from The Courier o ffi c e .


intramuralsport.43 

Forsyth promotion party put on ice 

INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL 

DIVISION TWO 

Wednesday 11-a-side Football 

Division 1 

Team Pld W D L F A Pts 

1 Newcastle Medics 1sts 12 8 2 2 36 20 26 

2 Barca Law Na 11 8 1 2 46 15 25 

3 Henderson Hall 12 7 1 4 41 29 22 

4 Dyslexic Untied 12 6 1 5 32 26 19 

5 Crayola 11 5 0 6 18 18 15 

(R) Aftermath 12 3 0 9 14 47 9 

(R) Castle Leazes 11 1 1 9 12 42 4 

Top Goalscorers 

The Hurricanes 

Borussia Forsyth 

By Harry Slavin 

at LONGBENTON 

Laurence 

Adams 

Seymour 

Fogarty 

Butler 35, Duckworth 51, 80 

Minshaw 8 

Mile 

Gibby 

McCrory 

Davis 

Rose 

Turner 

Hollis 

Sewell 

Borussia Forsyth will have to wait to 

find out if they will be playing First 

League Tables 

14: Jamie Hurworth (Barca) 

12: Dave Edwards (Medics) 

Newcastle Medics 1sts 4 

Castle Leazes 2 

Hepsinstall 

Smith 

Duckworth 

Norman 

Minshaw 

Pritchard 

3 

1 

Smedley 

Butler 

Barnett 

Bell 

10: Liam McAllister (Hendo) 

10: Daniel Rech (Crayola) 

9: Dave Eccles (Aftermath) 

Division 2 


(C) Newcastle Medics 2nds 13 11 2 0 47 10 35 

2 Boroussia Forsyth 14 10 0 4 43 21 30 

3 Lokomotiv 13 9 1 3 49 30 28 

4 Ecosoccer 14 7 1 6 52 34 22 

5 The Hurricanes 14 7 1 6 49 34 22 

6 Boca Seniors 14 5 0 9 36 41 15 

(R) Newhist FC 14 1 2 11 18 75 5 

(R) Ar U Shavin A Laugh 14 1 1 12 18 67 4 


18: Josh Batham (Ecosoccer) 

18: Adam Duckworth (H’anes) 

The Hurricanes 

Borussia Forsyth 

3 

1 

Hand-bags: Duckworth’s 

second goal caused 

controversy in his sides 

win on Wednesday 

Photography: 

Hubert Lam 

Division football next year after they 

were comprehensively beaten by a determined 

Hurricanes side. The result 

meant that Forsyth were unable to cement 

promotion and now have to rely 

on Lokomotiv failing to beat the Medics 

2nds after Loko’s hard fought 2-1 win 

over Ecosoccer. Hurricanes seventh victory 

of the season meant they ended another 

disappointing season in mid-table 

obscurity and their convincing display 

only served as a reminder of their inability 

to fulfil their potential, a trait that 

James Butler will have to tackle if next 

season is going to be any sort of success. 

The opening period of the game much 

mimicked the fortunes of both sides 

this season. Borussia started strongly 

despite only fielding ten men for the 

opening 15 minutes, while the Hurricanes 

struggled to create any sort of 

momentum, pinned back in their own 

half despite their numerical advantage. 

It was Forsyth who opened the scoring 

within the first ten minutes, the goal 

coming courtesy of Jack Minshaw’s 

back post volley. Forsyth mounted an 

attack down the left and when the cross 

was sent over Hurricanes ‘keeper Hollis 

misjudged the flight of the ball and was 

caught under it, but Minshaw still did 

well to finish from an acute angle. 

The goal seemed to wake The Hurricanes 

up and the game swung in balance 

as a result of two tactical changes 

made half way through the first half. 

The first change was made by Forsyth, 

who finally made it back up to their full 

compliment of 11 men after their central 

midfielder found a spare set of shin 

guards in the changing room. The second 

change, made by Hurricanes captain 

Nick Gibby, had a much more dramatic 

effect on the game as he changed 

the Hurricanes formation from the 

starting 5-3-2 set out to their more traditional 

4-4-2 set up, and with it came 

the desired effects. 

The Hurricanes soon began to grow 

into the game, and only an offside decision 

stopped Adam Duckworth from 

levelling midway through the half. 

However the Blues didn’t have too long 

to wait until they drew level and they 

gained parity courtesy of James Butler’s 

right boot. The midfielder began creating 

chances after his switch out to the 

wing and when the ball broke to him on 

13: Jake Wimshurst (Shavin) 

12: Zack Goddard (Ecosoccer) 

10: Archie Norman (Forsyth) 

Ecosoccer 

Lokomotiv 

1 

2 

Division 3 


(C) Roman Villa FC 13 12 0 1 52 7 36 

(P) Politic Thistle 14 11 0 3 46 21 30* 

3 Shakhtar FC 14 6 2 6 23 22 20 

4 Brown Magic FC 14 5 2 7 34 35 17 

5 NCL Galacticos 11 5 0 6 27 32 15 

6 Jesmondino FC 12 4 2 6 19 25 14 

7 Newcastle Dynamos 13 3 0 10 21 48 9 

8 Combined Honours 13 3 0 10 15 47 9 


16: James Dunn (P Thistle) 

11: Tom Islip (Roman Villa) 

Brown Magic FC 

NCL Galacticos 

3 

2 

9: Lewis Cockerill (B Magic) 

8: Rob Grady (Roman Villa) 

8: Ollie Griffi ths (Roman Villa) 

Roman Villa 

Combined Honours 

P 

P 

the edge of the area with 15 minutes of 

the half remaining, he made no mistake, 

letting fly with an effort that ripped into 

the back of the net. 

The goal turned the tide in favour 

of The Hurricanes and they took that 

momentum into the second half, taking 

the lead in rather controversial 

circumstances. A cross from the right 

found its way to the back post where 

Adam Duckworth appeared to head the 

ball home from close range. However 

the awarding of the goal saw the entire 

Forsyth line-up flock to the referee, adamant 

that Duckworth had prodded the 

ball home with his hand. After an ensuing 

melee, the referee left the decision 

with the honesty of The Hurricanes’ forward, 

who vehemently denied using his 

hand, leaving the referee with no choice 

other than to award the goal. 

The incident saw a raise in temperature 

of the game, and things threatened 

to boil over minutes later when Duckworth 

and Will Pritchard almost came 

to blows after Pritchard had upended 

Joe Moffatt in unapologetic fashion. 

After the pair were finally separated, it 

was Duckworth who let his feet do the 

talking, ending the contest with a tidy 

finish after creating space for himself at 

the back post with only 10 minutes left. 

INTRA MURAL IN-BRIEF 

NETBALL 

The University Hockey team wrapped 

up the Intra Mural Netball Competition 

last Tuesday afternoon. The team 

had qualified for the final after they won 

their division and came through their 

quarter and semi- finals in the play-offs. 

The Agrics team provided the opposition 

in the final, having defied the odds 

to reach it, having only finished runners-up 

in the 5pm-6pm league, finishing 

four points off table-topping Netball 

Ninjas. 

Despite winning the Saturday league 

final only three days earlier, the Agrics 

were unable to complete a double that 

would have rivalled the efforts of their 

1987 predecessors, missing the chance 

to engrave themselves in Agrics folklore 

after a narrow 31-29 defeat. 

Rugby Union 

Division 1 


1 Armstrong 8 7 0 1 290 40 35 

2 Titans 8 7 0 1 219 43 30 

3 Agrics 1 8 5 1 2 161 104 25 

4 Southern Fairies 8 4 0 4 185 117 22 

5 Larrikins 8 4 0 4 118 134 18 

6 Cheeky Ladies 8 3 1 4 133 179 18 

7 Engines 8 3 0 5 98 150 14 

8 Agrics 2 8 2 0 6 50 261 8 

9 Medics 8 0 0 8 46 272 1 

This week’s Intra Mural Fixtures 

Football (All matches kick off at 2pm unless otherwise stated) 

Wednesday 2 May 

DIV ONE - Crayola vs Barca Law Na Longbenton 2 

DIV TWO - Newcastle Medics 2nds vs Lokomotiv Longbenton 3G 

DIV THREE- NCL Galacticos vs Jesmondino FC Longbenton 3 

- Roman Villa vs Combined Honours Longbenton 1 

Thursday 3 May 

DIV THREE- Newcastle Dynamos vs NCL Galacticos Longbenton 3G (8pm) 

Netball 

4pm-5pm 

Intra Mural 

44.intramuralsport 



Martin goal 

gives Barca 

edge in nail 

biting final 

INTRA MURAL FOOTBALL 

CUP FINAL 

Barca Law Na 

Dyslexic Untied 

By Nick Gabriel 

at LONGBENTON 3G 

Beahon 

McKee 

da Silva 

Davidson 

Martin (10) 

Hoctor 

Foley 

Robson 

Schofield 

Smith 

Wadhams 

Bagot 

Rakshi 

Hurworth 

Fletcher 

Allinson 

Wheelhouse 

Jackson 

Windle 

Ingram 

Rawlings 

Hudson 

Foster 

Last Wednesday Barca Law Na clinched 

the Intra Mural Cup by edging out Dyslexic 

Untied in a hard-fought 1-0 win 

on the Longbenton 3G. 

An early goal from right-winger Rich 

Martin was enough to secure victory 

for the lawyers, however, the Intra Mural 

First Division leaders were made to 

work hard for their victory against a determined 

Untied side, who came close 

by way of hitting the woodwork twice 

within a matter of minutes late on. 

It was only 10 minutes into play when 

Barca got the goal that their early pressure 

deserved, the Reds’ defence being 

caught out by a hopeful ball over the 

top. Although the tireless Tim Rakshi’s 

effort was well saved by goalkeeper Nathan 

Fletcher, the rebound fell kindly 

for Rich Martin who was on hand to 

stab it home. 

Barca continued their early dominance 

of possession and were unlucky 

not to double their lead soon after. On 

this occasion Rakshi forced Fletcher to 

make a smart save at his near post, after 

he was picked out by a neat cross from 

right-back Phil Beahon. 

Dyslexic were struggling to assert 

themselves on the game, and could have 

1 

0 

been out of the tie before half-time were 

it not for some heroic defending. 

First, amidst a spot of pinball in the 

Dyslexic box, forward Jamie Hurworth 

saw consecutive goal-bound efforts 

blocked by the Reds’ Chris Smith. Moments 

later the centre-half was once 

again on hand to deny the league’s top 

scorer, this time by way of a superb lastditch 

tackle when the striker appeared 

to have broken clean through on goal. 

The trailing side did eventually offer a 

response, and were presented with their 

best chance of the first period on the 

stroke of half time. Tony da Silva’s smart 

turn to create an opening was followed 

by a poor effort straight at Barca’s goalkeeper 

Paul Wadhams, after a corner 

had only been half cleared. 

The second half began in much the 

same vein as the first, with Barca, not 

unlike their Catalan namesakes so often 

do, enjoying the majority of possession. 

In spite of this, an improved Untied 

defence did well to restrict their opponents 

to the odd long-range potshot, 

none of which ever really looked in danger 

of troubling the proverbial scorers. 

In truth, the second half was one 

of very few chances, as neither side 

seemed able to gain any real momentum 

or build a period of sustained pressure. 

The lack of quality was not helped 

by the steadily worsening weather conditions, 

with both sides adopting an increasingly 

direct approach in the hope 

RICH MARTIN 

The Barca Law Na 

wide man’s tenth 

minute goal was 

the only difference 

between the two 

sides in a game that 

many believed would 

have been far more 

one-sided. 

of forcing a defensive error that would 

have owed itself to the hellish North 

East climate. 

However, as the game wore on the 

previously comfortable Barca side appeared 

to grow steadily more nervous 

as the final whistle drew closer, dropping 

continually deeper in an effort to 

preserve their narrow advantage. 

Sensing that it was now or never the 

Reds soon began to throw more and 

more bodies forward in search of the 

elusive equaliser, with substitute Freddy 

Rose’s ambition and accurate set piece 

delivery acting as a catalyst for their efforts, 

laying siege to the Barca goal. 

First, as lively midfielder Simon Schofield 

stretched to meet one of Rose’s fine 

corner deliveries; he only succeeded in 

diverting the ball narrowly wide. Moments 

later, it was menacing forward 

Dom Robinson’s turn to be denied, this 

time by way of an excellent stop from 

the ever reliable Wadhams in the Barca 

goal. 

Untied went onto hit the woodwork 

twice within a matter of minutes soon 

after, firstly from an inswinging crossshot 

from Rose, then once more when 

Schofield saw his looping header cannon 

off the crossbar following another 

flighted ball into the Barca box. 

Unfortunately for the Dyslexic side, 

that was to be the last chance, as the referee 

decided to call time on the thrilling 

finale soon after. 

Players from 

both sided 

contest an 

aerial ball 

Photography: 

Hubert Lam 

Whilst Untied will be able to take 

heart from limiting a side as irresistible 

as Barca this season to surprisingly few 

opportunities, they will undoubtedly be 

disappointed that they never really got 

going until the match’s final stages. 

Ultimately it was Barca’s day, and in 

spite of a tepid performance by their 

high standards, their clinical nature in 

front of goal and impressive defence organisation, 

both of which have been key 

to their success this season, saw them 

narrowly prevail. 

Goalscorer 

Rich Martin 

Photography: 

Hubert Lam 

Barca now require just one more win 

in their final league game to secure an 

unprecedented league and cup double, 

matching the Medic’s impressive feat 

from last year. The league leaders will 

have a tricky tie against Crayola who 

were impressive in their last league outing, 

beathing Henderson Hall 2-0 back 

in February. 

Preliminary plans for an open-top bus 

parade through West Jesmond have begun, 

but the side will not be counting 

their chickens before they have hatched.


intramuralsport.45 

Medics take title race to the wire 

Lawyers must wait for league crown as Kay double compounds miserable season for Castle Leazes 

Stride of pride: 

Barca boys strut 

back after taking 

the lead in the 

fi nal 

Photography: 

Hubert Lam 

Castle Leazes 

Newcastle Medics 1sts 

By Josh Duffield 

at LONGBENTON 3G 

Levrant 

Green 

Hyndman (83), Jones (87) 

Davison (20), Kay (31, 64), Edwards 

(48) 

Cook 

Davison 

M. Anderson Parkinson Edwards Watson 

Fretwell 

Hill 

Barbour 

Hyndman 

Kay 

Durkin 

Parker 

Emms 

D. Anderson 

Mulhall 

Jones 

Duffy 

Dacey 

Jones 

Barca Law Na must wait until this 

Wednesday to see if they are to win the 

Division One title after Newcastle Medics 

Firsts completed their season with a 

2 

4 

comfortable win against bottom of the 

league Castle Leazes. The result means 

that the Medics returned to the top of 

the league, one point clear of Barca Law 

Na, with the Lawyers still to play Crayola 

in the final match of the season. 

The Medics outperformed their opponents 

in all departments. The final result 

was 4-2 but the game was less of a contest 

than the scoreline would suggest; in 

truth, there was only ever going to be 

one winner and it wasn’t the struggling 

Leazes outfit. 

Two late goals (the latter of which was 

the game’s highlight) served to take the 

gloss off an excellent Medics performance, 

but their manager, Rishi Dhand, 

was still delighted with the win. 

On a cold wet late April evening, the 

swirling winds had an unpredictable effect 

on any high balls and so the team 

who retained the ball better on the floor 

would have the likely advantage, as 

proved to be the case. 

This Medics team oozes class and even 

the centre-backs are confident with the 

ball at their feet. Spectators gushed with 

admiration, praising them with comparisons 

to Barcelona and other such 

accolades. 

They made their superiority pay after 

20 minutes when forward Josh Davison 

landed a deflected shot beyond the Castle 

Leazes stopper’s reach. 

The match was not short of controversial 

refereeing decisions, some of which 

proved highly unpopular with the Leazes 

defence. They played a high line 

throughout and were frequently caught 

out, notably when second half sub Theo 

Adjetey broke through at will. 

In the first half, however, the Leazes 

team were incensed when Chris Kay 

scored with an impressive finish but 

was evidently offside when receiving 

the ball. 

After a mix-up from a free kick sent 

the Medics ahead 3-0, controversy 

struck again when Kay scored his second, 

again appearing to be in an offside 

position when receiving the ball before 

finishing nonchalantly. The referee 

waved away Leazes protests and ignored 

the linesman who was doing his fair 

share of waving as well. 

After several contentious decisions 

had gone against his side, Leazes leftback 

James Duffy left his mark on Kay 

who reacted by pushing his aggressor. 

There were concerns that the referee 

was losing control of the game but he 

managed to keep the players in check 

with a stern dressing-down. 

A late decision went against the Medics 

when their fifth was disallowed for a 

shove but they knew the game was already 

won. This was despite the Leazes 

front pairing bagging a goal each. 

The first was smashed into the empty 

net after Anderson had been drawn off 

his line and the second was something 

special. After seeing his strike partner 

notch a goal, the big target man showed 

his skill by dribbling from inside his 

own half before despatching a thunderous 

strike over the Medics ‘keeper. 

Sam Turner kept the score at 4-2 when 

he made a goal-saving challenge on hattrick 

seeking Kay, but the Medics will be 

pleased with a great end to the season 

nonetheless. 

Manager Dhand stated that their win 

kept the pressure on Barca to the end, 

whilst struggling Leazes were consigned 

to yet another defeat. 

Matt Anderson’s return from injury 

may have been the inspiration for the 

Medics classy performance but his supporting 

entourage were less than positive 

about his overall performance after 

several missed opportunities to increase 

his team’s lead. 

The defeat means that Castle Leazes’ 

torrid season has come to an end with 

just one win to their name. Their relegation 

adds to them having dropped out 

of the top league on a Saturday last season 

too, and for one of the oldest clubs 

in Intra Mural football the future looks 

surprisingly bleak. 

Attention will now turn to Barca’s clash 

against Crayola on Wednesday evening. 

Their superior goal difference means 

that just a point will be good enough for 

the Lawyers to end the Medics’ stranglehold 

on the league title, but Crayola 

have already played a big part in the title 

race with wins against Henderson Hall 

and the Medics - there could yet be another 

late twist in the search for league 

glory this season. 

TOP OF THE TABLE 

1. MEDICS P12 26pts 

2. BARCA P11 25pts 

3. H.HALL P12 22pts

46.sportBUCS 



NWR miss 

out on Team 

Commentary by 

Colin Henrys (Sports Editor) 

Don’t get me wrong, the Boat Club 

deserve all of the recognition they 

received at the AU Ball. 

It is a source of great pride for 

the University as a whole, not just 

for Team Newcastle, that we boast 

one of the most prestigious clubs in 

the country and their achievements 

both on and off the water have continued 

to impress. 

Nevertheless, it is hard not to sympathise 

with the Women’s Rugby 

Firsts, who have quite literally been 

unbeatable this year. After fi nishing 

an impressive third in the BUCS 

Northern Division 1A last season, 

they have exceeded all expectations. 

Under Phoebe Lebrecht’s leadership, 

the girls have beaten all before 

them and more often than not by impressive 

winning margins too. Their 

points difference in winning Division 

1A was +277 from their 11 matches 

- some 230 more than their nearest 

rivals, Northumbria. 

Their performances in the BUCS 

Trophy were equally as impressive, 

and to travel down to Richmond and 

beat UCL in the fi nal was a fantastic 

achievement. 

It is good to see that they did not 

leave without recognition though, 

and the Coach of the Year award 

for Scott Powell is certainly merited 

given the importance that the players 

themselves place on their preworked 

set play routines. 

However, to have labelled them as 

Most Improved was somewhat of 

a surprise. They have been a good 

club, fi elding two sides for some 

time now and while they have obviously 

improved, they were already 

performing well as a club. 

Had they been awarded the Team 

of the Year instead of Rowing - who 

already have cause to celebrate on 

behalf of the Boat Club - it may well 

have paved the way for a club like 

Lacrosse to win Most Improved instead, 

and better refl ect the breadth 

of high quality performances from 

across Team Newcastle this year. 

of the Year 

continued from back page 

“They offer the overall full package, and 

have been overlooked for six or seven 

years before receiving it two years in a 

row,” added Kennedy. 

For Team of the Year there were multiple 

potential winners, including Women’s 

Lacrosse, Men’s Hockey, Netball 

Firsts and Women’s Squash. 

However, the real competition stood 

between Women’s Rugby and the Men’s 

Rowing First VIII. 

Undefeated all season NWR have left 

their league a whitewash, sitting pretty 

in the top of the table slot by a clear 15 

points. During Easter they rounded off 

their Trophy campaign in Richmond 

with a hard-fought victory over UCL, 

their claim on the silverware proving 

the ultimate climax to a faultless campaign. 

Holloway was there to see the battle 

and commented: 

“The girls should be proud of everything 

they have achieved this year, and 

to finish the season with a Trophy win 

just topped it off for them.” 

Unfortunately, it was still not enough 

to pass the “absolute machine” that 

Men’s Rowing VIII have been the past 

18 months: 

“The standard of the men’s team is 

as one of the best in Britain. They’ve 

moved above Durham, broken records 

at Henley, and won their race at BUCS. 

“Any other year Women’s Rugby would 

have won hands down,” said Kennedy. 

The Boat Club’s Ed Stephenson, who 

is also Deputy AU Officer, expressed his 

extreme thanks and gratitude for the 

awards: 

“Thank you so much for these fantastic 

awards! It has been an amazing year 

for us, and we’ve knocked up some of 

the best results we’ve had in a long time. 

“To see that our own Athletic Union 

recognises these feats and has decided 

that we should receive these awards 

makes it even more special. We are in 

a strong position right now and plan to 

keep it that way for the rest of our season 

to keep Team Newcastle held in the 

highest of regards. 

“Having said this, we recognise the 

dedication that all our other teams contribute 

to our Team Newcastle effort, 

especially those short-listed alongside 

us today who must have also put in a 

huge amount of personal time and energy. 

To be put above all these guys is 

such a great achievement, and one that 

we truly appreciate. 

“Thank you so much once again; this 

will give us such an incredible boost to 

finish our season on a high!” 

Women’s Rugby did not however go 

unrewarded, as their achievements instead 

saw them recognised as Most Improved 

Club of the Year. As one of only 

a limited number of institutions to have 

a second team in BUCS league, yet still 

able to welcome beginners to the sport 

they constantly “tick all the right boxes”. 

Holloway noted: 

“It’s a great thing for such an undervalued 

sport like Women’s Rugby to be 

doing so well.” 

For Administrator of the Year, the 

Netball Club’s Sally Burden was a close 

contender: 

“Sally was left to pick up the pieces 

at the beginning of the season and had 

to start everything from scratch,” says 

Kennedy. “I set her two or three major 

tasks at the start of the year yet she’s 

managed to complete them all.” 

However, she was pipped to the post 

by Docherty who this season has, according 

to Kennedy “taken things to 

a new level”, something that is evident 

from the fact he also received a nomination 

for Sports Writer of the Year. 

“He’s one of the best in terms of efficiency. 

His ideas for development and 

recruitment are exceptional; he’s absolutely 

on the ball. Jonny Clough from 

Canoe also deserves some recognition; 

his club’s results speak for themselves.” 

Last, but not least, John Fenn, or John 

‘fingerless’ Fenn, as he is affectionately 

known, was presented with the Outstanding 

Contribution to University 

Sport. 

His dedication to the development of 

rugby at all levels within the University 

includes having helped establish the six 

Near miss: Despite finishing the year with a 100% 

record and winning the league, the cup, their Stan 

Calvert match and qualifying for the BUCS Rugby 

Sevens final in the process, NWR were beaten to 

the Team of the Year award at the AU Ball. They 

were awarded Most Improved Club instead. 

University representative teams, two 

freshers’ teams, the Rugby Union Referees 

Society and a Rugby Board at Newcastle, 

and he has continued to be a regular 

contributor to the sport, something 

which Kennedy was keen to point out: 

“He’s still very much part of the club 

even though he retired last year, working 

tirelessly on the development 

of both refereeing and Intra Mural 

amongst other areas.” 

Those who have got to know him 

throughout his time at Newcastle would 

certainly not begrudge him this recognition. 

Who won what? 

Club of the Year: 

Boat Club 

Team of the Year: 

Rowing First VIII 

Most Improved Club: 

Women’s Rugby 

Administrator of the Year: 

James Docherty (Fencing) 

Sports Writer of the Year: 

John Colville (Men’s Hockey) 

Coach of the Year: 

Scott Powell (NWR) 

Outstanding Contribution: 

John Fenn



BUCSsport.47 

Newcastle’s Boat Club claimed 

Club of the Year for the second 

year running, and also saw 

their First VIII crowned Team of 

the Year 

Photography: 

Newcastle University Boat Club 

...but they continue to beat 

all before them on the pitch 

BUCS IN BRIEF 

CRICKET 

All four BUCS matches fell victim to 

the rain on Wednesday. The Men’s and 

Women’s Firsts matches, as well as the 

Men’s Thirds were completely rained off 

without a ball being bowled, while the 

Men’s Seconds took one point beforetheir 

match was abandoned. 

WOMEN’S RUGBY UNION 

BUCS RUGBY SEVENS 

By Phoebe Lebrecht 

in LEEDS 

After a successful season for NWR, the 

girls headed to Leeds on Wednesday 

in the hope of qualifying for the BUCS 

Rugby Sevens Finals in Coventry next 

month. 

Despite their highly successful run 

this season, the prospect of competing 

against Premiership teams dampened 

their hopes. Having left Newcastle in 

the sunshine it was more than their 

hopes that were dampened as the heavens 

opened over Leeds on their arrival. 

Newcastle 1sts 

Durham 1sts 

17 

0 

With wind, rain and bitter temperatures 

against them, NWR stepped out fir their 

first game against local North East rivals 

Durham. 

Durham, having finished second in 

the Premiership this season were sure to 

test the Royals. However, following the 

kick off, NWR retained possession and 

played some excellent sevens. 

Support running and unbeatable defence 

kept the pressure on Durham and 

forced silly errors. As NWR advanced 

up the pitch, it was a Sonny Bill offload 

from centre Emma Boyle to partner in 

crime Rosie Neal that put the first the 

points on the board under the posts for 

Newcastle. 

NWR kicked off again, this time with 

some confidence, and they started to 

have some fun. 

Some sweet offloads and quick turnovers 

allowed Holly Malins to steal possession 

and break four tackles resulting 

in her stretching her legs all the way 

from NWR’s 22 to under the posts. Lebrecht 

converted again, giving the Royals 

a sufficient lead. 

Entering the second half 14-0 up, the 

Royals didn’t hang around. Strong defence 

and consistent tackling was rattling 

Durham and it wasn’t long before 

Captain Lebrecht saw a break in the line 

and seized the opportunity. 

Excellent commentary from McShane 

whilst support running, advised Lebrecht 

to time her draw and pass perfectly, 

opening up the wing for Boyle who 

turned on the gas and dived over the 

line. 

After 14 minutes, the Royals had beaten 

the Premiership standard Durham 

17-0. 

After attempting to keep warm in a 

pop up tent and avoiding the wind, the 

girls were back out on the pitch, this 

time to face last years BUCS Sevens 

Champions Leeds Met. 

Newcastle 1sts 

Leeds Met 1sts 

22 

Leeds Met strolled on, unfazed by the 

cold, looking ready to put their stamp 

on the competition. NWR, shaking and 

going blue, decided to have fun and began 

dreaming of being warm in a cosy 

pub. 

Leeds Met kicked off and put on a big 

chase but their larger girls with their 

big hits were no match for NWR’s agile 

dancing feet. NWR may be a small side, 

but they are quick, creative and play for 

each other. 

These qualities shone through as Malins 

wasted no time on a penalty to tap 

and go, a hand off to the outside winger 

left her for dead as Malins scored over 

the line. Lebrecht, seeing Malins’ placement 

allowed her to attempt the conversion 

instead! 

A 5-0 lead for NWR definitely put 

fire in the Leeds Met bellies and they 

came back with a vengeance. Nevertheless 

NWR stole the ball once more. 

It seemed that no one could handle 

the wet, muddy conditions - except for 

the Royals of course - and Neal made 

a break, drawing two players to open a 

Charlotte Flint-size gap in the line. 

A cheeky back-handed offload combined 

with the pace of the Flint, didn’t 

give Leeds Met a chance. Flinty casually 

walked the ball under the posts, allowing 

Lebrecht to convert. 

The second half witnessed more sloppy 

play from Leeds Met, allowing NWR 

to keep the pressure on and time their 

attack. 

A tackle from Lebrecht allowed her to 

get back to her feet and steal the ball. 

Play from the breakdown saw the ball 

go out wide and once again NWR were 

in Leeds Met’s 22. 

With three players committed to the 

breakdown, Lebrecht pulled out her 

“show-and-go” dummy to cut through 

the middle of the defence and score under 

the posts. 

Once on the attack again, NWR 

were being tired out by a multitude of 

scrums, so it left scrum-half McShane 

no choice but to go alone. 

For some one with such short legs, 

when McShane went blind there was no 

catching her. A diving try put the Royals 

score up to 22-0. 

In last play, despite a valiant chase of 

Leeds Met’s no.14, NWR decided to let 

the Champions regain some pride and 

score under the posts; the final score being 

22-7. 

Due to the weather, the competition 

was then cancelled. This meant NWR 

missed out on playing Sheffield and 

Leeds Uni, but having smashed the top 

two, they already felt like winners. 

Being the only team to have won both 

matches, Newcastle were clearly the 

best on the day. NWR have now qualified 

for the BUCS Sevens Finals on 12 

May. Having now had a taste for BUCS 

finals, and knowing victory tastes sweet, 

the girls will be travelling down alongside 

the boys to get their hands on yet 

another cup. 

ROLL OF HONOUR: 

NWR’S UNBEATABLE YEAR 

BUCS NORTHERN DIVISION 1A 

Played: 11, Won: 11, Pos: 1st 

7 

BUCS TROPHY 

Beat UCL 19-10 in final 

STAN CALVERT CUP 

Beat Northumbria 10-7 

BUCS RUGBY SEVENS 

Played: 2, Won: 2, Pos: 1st

Sport 

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport 

WINNING ISN’T EVERYTHING, IT’S THE ONLY THING: 

www.thecourieronline.co.uk 


Issue 1250 

Free 

BUCS SEVENS P47 

Barca looking good for 

double after cup win 

p.44 

Photography: Hubert Lam 

Boat Club continue to make waves 

Athletic Union recognises another year of excellent work on the water 

By Kat Bannon 

Editor 

The Boat Club cleaned up at this year’s 

Athletic Union awards, claiming Club 

of the Year for the second consecutive 

season while still leaving room for their 

Men’s First VIII to receive the highly 

coveted Team of the Year. 

Meanwhile, Women’s Rugby claimed 

Most Improved Club, Administrator of 

the Year went to Fencing’s James Docherty 

and Sports Writer of the Year to 

Men’s Hockey Firsts’ captain John Colville. 

Coach of the Year was awarded to 

Women’s Rugby’s Scott Powell and the 

prestigious Outstanding Contribution 

to University Sport to Rugby Union’s 

John Fenn, whose dedication has managed 

to outlive his recent retirement. 

Athletic Union Officer Alice Holloway 

presented the awards on Sunday evening 

at the annual Athletic Union ball, 

which took place in the Lancastrian 

Suite, Gateshead. She told The Courier: 

“It’s been a fantastic year for Team 

Newcastle topped off by a brilliant night 

tonight. It’s great to have everyone in 

the same room so we can celebrate a 

fantastic season.” 

Performance Sport Manager Fraser 

Kennedy was quick to highlight the difficulty 

this year’s Athletic Union Executive 

Committee encountered in choosing 

not only winners, but the original 

shortlists. 

“In general, the standard this year has 

been exceptionally high, and it’s probably 

been the hardest year to have made 

decisions for overall that I remember. 

Even getting the nominations down to 

five was extremely difficult.” 

He is not wrong there, as the AU Exec 

meeting to decide the winners spanned 

almost five hours, believed to have been 

the longest on record. Making comment 

on what is to be assumed was a highly 

comprehensive discussion, Holloway’s 

In general, the standard this year has been 

exceptionally high, and it’s probably been the 

hardest one to make decisions for overall... 

priorities were clear: “thank God we 

had biscuits.” 

For Club of the Year, it was a tightly 

fought race between the Boat and Canoe 

Clubs. Currently sitting top of the 

BUCS points tally for Newcastle, after 

taking first place in the BUCS Wildwater 

racing event back in November, the 

Canoe Club have had their most successful 

season to date. 

Kennedy could not deny how little 

stood between the two clubs: “If I’d have 

been given a vote, I probably would 

have edged towards canoe. 

“However, there is no denying that 

the Boat Club’s performance, both on 

and away from the water, has been outstanding. 

The club has really developed 

this year, in both membership and the 

amount of money they have raised. 

Their overall general performances also 

speak for themselves. 

continued on p.46

Issue 1250 - The Courier

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Issue 1250 - The Courier

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