their - The University of Texas at Dallas
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their - The University of Texas at Dallas
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old age, erotic desire — and <strong>of</strong> de<strong>at</strong>h and absence —<br />
but always with the perspective <strong>of</strong> recuper<strong>at</strong>ion, selfvalue,<br />
and the celebr<strong>at</strong>ion <strong>of</strong> the experience <strong>of</strong> a<br />
woman. <strong>The</strong> s<strong>of</strong>tness and fluidity in her expression on<br />
the one hand may become demanding and harsh on<br />
the other through poetic techniques th<strong>at</strong> appropri<strong>at</strong>ely<br />
sustain those themes.<br />
Her voice becomes a strong, driving voice in her<br />
opening line protesting torture and the<br />
“desaparecidas” in her book En las noches que<br />
desvisten otras noches/During Nights th<strong>at</strong> Undress<br />
Other Nights: “Tengo estas palabras/ ahogándose/<br />
apretujadas en mi pecho.” Attempting to capture the<br />
rage, my English version reads: “I have these words/<br />
suffoc<strong>at</strong>ing/ packed into my breast.” 6<br />
As an example <strong>of</strong> her s<strong>of</strong>t voice, we will consider<br />
a poem she wrote <strong>at</strong> the de<strong>at</strong>h <strong>of</strong> our friend Jacque<br />
Canales <strong>of</strong> Spain, a poet whose work as<br />
extraordinarily musical and poignant. <strong>The</strong> first lines<br />
capture metaphorically Jacque’s determin<strong>at</strong>ion to<br />
embrace optimism in her own poetry despite neg<strong>at</strong>ive<br />
forces. Nela Rio’s tribute begins “Con sandalias<br />
lentas/ luminosas/ caminarás la noche que harás día.”<br />
To simul<strong>at</strong>e the ethereal, emotional resonance <strong>of</strong> the<br />
phrase “sandalias lentas/ luminosas” and the<br />
alliter<strong>at</strong>ion therein, I chose “light/ luminous sandals”<br />
r<strong>at</strong>her than using “slow” for “lentas.” To mark the link<br />
between the future-tense verbs “caminarás” and<br />
“harás,” I chose an alliter<strong>at</strong>ed “t” and a parallel,<br />
contracted “you will,” as follows: “you’ll travel the<br />
night/ th<strong>at</strong> you’ll turn into day.” <strong>The</strong> transl<strong>at</strong>ion<br />
continues with “<strong>The</strong> hour/ marks/ an inexplicable<br />
sadness/ th<strong>at</strong> nestles in the light/ touching my<br />
window.” In transl<strong>at</strong>ing the poem, the particular<br />
concern was finding poetic measures th<strong>at</strong> would set<br />
the poignant tone. <strong>The</strong> English poem concludes: “I<br />
will seek the smile in your verses/ and hand in hand/<br />
we’ll browse the pages.// Time has the sound <strong>of</strong> bells./<br />
Your going is a note/ be<strong>at</strong>ing in every heart.” 7<br />
To continue our discussion <strong>of</strong> specific authors and<br />
unique stylistic characteristics, we consider the<br />
aesthetic <strong>of</strong> Carlos Ernesto García, exiled from El<br />
Salvador in 1980 <strong>at</strong> age 20, after the de<strong>at</strong>h squad<br />
assassin<strong>at</strong>ion <strong>of</strong> his f<strong>at</strong>her <strong>at</strong> his home on a Sunday<br />
afternoon. García is now a citizen <strong>of</strong> Spain. <strong>The</strong><br />
linguistic economy and concise images <strong>of</strong> this lyric<br />
poet require a transl<strong>at</strong>ion consistent with those<br />
qualities. <strong>The</strong> bilingual edition Even Rage Will Rot <strong>of</strong><br />
Hasta la cólera se pudre includes a brief poem,<br />
“Hamburgo.” 8 In this poem and others, the intense<br />
emotion <strong>of</strong> the tragedy experienced by the poet in his<br />
n<strong>at</strong>ive country is transferred in extraordinary,<br />
underst<strong>at</strong>ed terms to other physical environments, in<br />
this case Hamburg. <strong>The</strong> images are projected by nouns<br />
and active verbs. <strong>The</strong> poem reads: “Las veintiuna y<br />
treinta/ de un día que no comprendo/ Una amplia<br />
avenida que no ven tus ojos:/ IDUNA RCA ranstad<br />
zeit-arbeit/ incrustados en un edificio que aún/ no<br />
conoce la guerra.”<br />
García’s poem was carefully crafted in vocabulary<br />
and structure. <strong>The</strong> original text has three subjects, an<br />
implied “yo,” “tus ojos,” and a personified “edificio,”<br />
and active verbs. <strong>The</strong> parallelism and active verbs<br />
must be retained in order to produce a similar impact<br />
in English. We’ll consider my transl<strong>at</strong>ion version and<br />
then other possible vari<strong>at</strong>ions to see if th<strong>at</strong> is the case.<br />
My version reads: “Hamburg: Twenty-one thirty<br />
hours/ <strong>of</strong> a day I don’t understand/ A broad avenue<br />
th<strong>at</strong> your eyes don’t see:/ IDUNA RCA ranstad zeitarbeit/<br />
inscribed on a building th<strong>at</strong> still/ hasn’t known<br />
any war.”<br />
To illustr<strong>at</strong>e the change th<strong>at</strong> would result if the<br />
phrase “th<strong>at</strong> your eyes don’t see” were transl<strong>at</strong>ed into<br />
the perhaps more lyrical passive voice as “unseen by<br />
your eyes” and if the last phrase were drawn out from<br />
the sharp active to the progressive “Still not knowing<br />
any war,” we’ll make th<strong>at</strong> substitution and consider<br />
the effect: “Twenty-one thirty hours/ <strong>of</strong> a day I don’t<br />
understand/ A broad avenue unseen by your eyes/<br />
IDUNA RCA ranstad zeit-arbeit/ inscribed on a<br />
building still not knowing any war.” <strong>The</strong> result is a<br />
s<strong>of</strong>ter, more subtle, bland expression r<strong>at</strong>her than the<br />
direct, forceful, but underst<strong>at</strong>ed expression <strong>of</strong> emotion<br />
in the original text. Not following the process <strong>of</strong> the<br />
original text would be a failure to represent Garcia’s<br />
aesthetics as reflected in the Spanish lines. <strong>The</strong> poem<br />
might still be a poem and might retain the content, but<br />
it would not emul<strong>at</strong>e the original in underst<strong>at</strong>ement or<br />
structure or tone. Furthermore, if the time were<br />
changed from “twenty-one thirty hours” to “9:30<br />
p.m.,” it would not change the time, but it would<br />
diminish the European ambiance. <strong>The</strong> transl<strong>at</strong>or who<br />
ignores texture viol<strong>at</strong>es the old taboo against dividing<br />
content from form — the unity <strong>of</strong> “fondo y forma” —<br />
and emphasizes one aspect <strong>of</strong> a work, such as plot, to<br />
the detriment <strong>of</strong> all others.<br />
<strong>The</strong> final discussion centers on the fiction <strong>of</strong><br />
Cecilia Urbina and excerpts from her fourth novel, La<br />
45