Dirty Little Secrets Appetite for Seduction This is a ... - Shattered Glam

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Dirty Little Secrets Appetite for Seduction This is a ... - Shattered Glam

Twin Cities

Edition

This is a Man’s World

Maybe not so much.

Dirty Little Secrets

Tips for the unkempt and unclean.

Appetite for Seduction

Let us help feed yours!


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www.shattered–glam.com


4

Welcome to the second issue of Shattered Glam, not

for the Jane Plain and gradually finding our voice and

audience. “It only hurts the first time,” may be true in

some settings but magazine publishing is not one of

them. The compilation of this and future issues is becoming

a wonderful as well as exhausting experience.

Several of us on staff enjoyed our own near death experiences

as a result of the late season “flu,” making

this a most interesting spring.

In spite of the drama we have a super lineup for

this issue. In It’s a Man’s World we look at several

factors making this world up for grabs. Young women

are coming on strong and living quite differently with

different attitudes than their mothers. Tyra gets men’s

stuff out of the closet in this month’s Wear and How

and she takes us to morning–after breakfast in her

7 Awesome recommendations.

We welcome also with this issue new editorial features.

Fast Fashion should spark some ideas when

the tried and true just doesn’t suffice. Appetite for

Seduction begins the exploration of the relationship

between two favored activities of all, eating and sex.

And with this issue we introduce Amanda who shares

her exploits and adventures in the Twin Cities.

Our editorial staff has grown of late as well and we

welcome Rachel Kalas to her new role as Editorial

Coordinator as well as Kacie Moosbrugger and

Kathleen Flaherty in new roles.

Submissions for publication are gladly accepted via

our website www.shattered-glam.com as well as comments

to the editorial staff. Your participation in the

evolution of this publication is encouraged.

Publisher

shattered

Not for the Jane Plain

shattered

Not for the Jane Plain

shattered

Not for the Jane Plain

Jacqueline T. Odin

President, Sysoft International, Inc.

Mason V. Hladun

Publisher/Editor in Chief

Tyra Noir

Production Coordinator

Rachel Kalas

Editorial Coordinator

Hadley Lavanger

Contributing Editor

Kacie Moosbrugger

Contributing Editor

Sami Grimes

Contributing Editor

Kathleen Flaherty

Editorial Associate

Mike Rabe

Account Executive

Shattered Glam is published monthly by:

SYSOFT INTERNATIONAL, INC.

2500 University Ave

St Paul, MN 55105

None of the material appearing herein can be reprinted

without the permission of Shattered Glam Magazine.

Unsolicited material will not be returned unless sufficient

postage is provided. Material submitted for pay must

carry “Submitted At Your Usual Rates.” The publishers

and editors shall not be responsible for loss or damage

of any submitted manuscripts and/or art. The acceptance

of advertising in Shattered Glam does not imply endorsement

of the publishers. Publishers reserve the right, without

giving specific reason, to refuse advertising if copy

does not conform with editorial policy.

SUBSCRIPTIONS: Free to qualified subscribers within the U.S. and

Canada. For non–qualified readers in the U.S. and Canada, the

cost is $19.00 for 1 year, $34.00 for 2 years, or $48.00 for 3

years, payable in advance in U.S. dollars. For all other countries

the cost is $28.00 for 1 year, $44.00 for 2 years, or $58.00 for 3

years, payable in advance in U.S. dollars.

Change of address: Please allow four weeks for uninterrupted service.

Send the address label of the magazine and with new address

to:

Circulation Dept

Shattered Glam Magazine

2500 University Ave

St Paul, MN 55105

or send an e–mail to: subscriptions@shattered–glam.com

© Copyright 2008 Sysoft International, Inc.

Model: Sarah D, Makeup: Tyra Noir Model: Kari Angel, Makeup: Tyra Noir

5


RAISING TWIN CITIES EXPECTATIONS


Model: Paige Kelly

In This Issue

SHATTERED GLAM MAGAZINE

Vol 1 No 2

It’s a Man’s World ....................................... 12

Not so much, the New Girl Order is here

Scarlet Haze ..................................................15

Kat Perkins and the band rock the region and more

Fast Fashion ..................................................18

Thoughts for when the Little Black Dress drags

In Her View ...................................................21

Mona Ruff–Saer shows us part of her world.

Fetish for Fashion .........................................26

Local designer Veluto Nero shares hers

A View from the Friends Zone ..................34

That queasy, unsettling place exists

7 Awesome ...................................................37

Breakfasts for the morning after

Wear and How .............................................41

Get him out of the closet

What’s your style? .......................................43

This quiz might answer things for you

Flirting for Fitness ........................................45

Make sure your workouts are productive for you

Dirty Little Secrets ........................................47

Stay fresh as a flower from hour to hour

Kick the Habit ...............................................47

This is your brain on Junk Food

Amanda .........................................................55

Tequila makes me naked, Olé

Appetite for Seduction ................................58

It’s easy to stir yourself sexy.

ON THE COVER: Paige Kelly as captured by

master Minneapolis photographer Henry Czuprinski


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Not for the Jane Plain

Its Bare Piggies Season!

Pedicures, polish and preparation

produce the most tantalizing toes

Tips:

• Soak feet for 15 minutes in warm water

with Epsom salts.

• Clip all 10 toenails straight to avoid in–

grown toenails; file any rough edges.

• Use moisturizing lotion before using a

loofah or pumice stone to expose rough,

dry skin.

• Gently rub away any rough, dry skin.

• Use a cuticle lifter before trimming the cuticle

on your toes; there are less chances

of trimming too much and bleeding.

• Buff your toenails with an emery square

or block before polishing.

• Use a top coat like Sally Hansen's Mega

Shine, it has crazy shine and gives it the

finished look of the pros.

Men only think they’re so dominant. According

to recent surveys, the man is the most likely partner

to be tied up during sex.

Love those bad boys! 56% of men have had

sex at work.

Be thankful if he’s average: the smallest erect

penis on record was 1cm long. The average

length of the flaccid penis: 3.5”; average

length when erect: 5.1”.

If your into older guys, it’s all good for you. At

age seventy, 73% of men are still potent.

So many opportunities, so little time. On average

a man experiences 11 erections during the

day and nine while asleep.

Odors that increase blood flow and produce

stronger erections: lavender, licorice, chocolate,

doughnuts and pumpkin pie. Buy some

incense or learn to bake.

Woman’s Health magazine says 86% of women think a five o’clock shadow is not “hot.”

Can you slip a finger under your bra straps? If you can’t, or if the straps are digging into

your shoulders, you’ve probably over–adjusted to compensate for a bra that’s the wrong

size. Straps should have just enough tension to hold the bra on your shoulders; they should

provide about 10% of a bra’s support. So, do the strap test – slip your straps off your

shoulders so they are resting on your arms. A well–fitting bra should stay on (with some

sagging) without the straps’ assistance.

–sextalk–

in our shorts this month

Get a history lesson. Women who lost their virginity

before their 18th birthday are likely to be

twice as sexually active as women who don’t.

Tell them how to be beautiful. Scientific tests

find that when women make love they produce

amounts of the hormone estrogen, which

makes hair shine and skin smooth.

Smarties are sexy too. Women with a Ph.D. are

twice as likely to be turned on by the thought

of anonymous sex as women who never got a

bachelor’s degree.

The frequency with which a woman has orgasms

during her sleep actually increases as

she ages.

A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because

of the release of endorphins), so headaches

are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

11


This is a

Man’s World

...not so much

12

The lifestyle enjoyed by Carrie Bradsaw is showing up

in cities other than New York with surprising outcomes.

Adapted from an article by Kay S. Hymowitz

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A

New Girl Order is upon

us, and you’re part of it. In her

article published in the Autumn

Edition of City Journal, Kay S.

Hymowitz describes this phenomenon

resulting from some clearly defined

demographic trends in our female

populations. In other words, if you

are female and reading this, we are

talking about you. With the exception

of Africa and most of the Middle East,

stunning demographic and economic

shifts are leading women to independence

and positions of influence and

power like never before. The ‘Carrie

Bradshaw’ types are not just taking

over the primetime airwaves with their

witty banter, classic style, and corporate

power. Across Europe, Asia and

North America, in cities from Dublin

to Beijing, you see crowds of Single

Young Females (SYFs). They are in

their 20’s & 30’s storming the corporate

world by day, pounding the

treadmills on their breaks, and dancing

with the VIPs at the trendiest clubs

on the weekends. The cocktail lounges

that were once dominated by male

executives enjoying their end of day

martini, are now serving more of their

female counterparts.

Our new found independence and

power has also caused a few other statistics

to change, three of them more

specifically; marriage, education with

career, and geography. Women are

waiting longer to get married. They

are waiting to complete a desired education

before walking down the aisle

with Mr. Right. They are pursuing an

education that provides them with a

life long career of choice, a career

that they enjoy, and can provide them

with a comfortable lifestyle. So after

having the degree and the great job,

naturally you want the great place to

live. A place that shows off who you

are, what you have accomplished,

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Not for the Jane Plain

and is nice and close to work, which

just so happens to be Downtown.

In 1960, 70% of 25–year–old women

were married with children. Now,

nearing the end of the first decade

in the new century, 50% of us are

married by 25. That is a 20% drop

in 48 years. Take into consideration

the population increase and you are

talking about an influential amount of

single women. The number of single

women today almost exceeds the total

female population of 1960.

As SYFs continue to pursue higher

education, the gender gap in colleges

and universities continues to spread.

In 2004, for the first time ever, there

were more women enrolled in secondary

education than men. The

trend is the same across Europe, and

even more abruptly changing in traditional

countries in Asia.

Women are feeling empowered by

their matur-

ing sense of

self, and the

economy has

adapted. In

2003, The Diamond

Trading Company introduced

the “right hand ring.” A possible diamond

for women with no immediate

marital prospects, and since diamonds

are a girls best friend, not one

of us is left out of the joy of sporting a

shiny rock. Even the home renovation

leaders like Lowe’s offer classes tailored

to the SYF. Could the economy

be promoting this as a positive thing?

Women love to pamper themselves,

and when you add in a comfortable

career, the absence of a family taking

up your mornings, evenings, weekends

and expendable income; I think

that says it all. A group of close girlfriends

that has time and money to

burn can start their Saturday morning

by arriving at the coffee shop in their

sleek new car, spend the afternoon

shopping for a killer new skirt, and

the gorgeous new Jimmy Choo heals.

Yet they are chatting the entire time

about the lack of good men, and the

failure of their last or current attempt

at a relationship. They hit the gym for

a cardio blast with a quick stop off at

the spa to enjoy some much deserved

pampering, and end the evening hitting

the town with their girls, sporting

the hot new outfit they picked up

earlier. Finishing out the night, they

scope out all the potential boy toys

that flock around them.

Not only are Single Young Females

(SYFs) staying single and dominating

the universities, the workforce, and

the present consumer economy, but

they are dominating the real estate

market as well. According to The National

Association of Realtors, during

2007 single women made up 22% of

In 1960, 70% of 25 year old women

were married with children. Now,

only 50% of us are married by 25.

the real estate Market in the U.S. And

it is where the SYFs are buying these

homes that make the third peg to this

phenomenon. Women are urbanizing.

The pulse of the city is pumped

by the single female. The SYFs that

do live in the suburban areas often

blog about being trapped in a suburban

hell, or something as quaintly

evil and taunting.

Each year there are more books

celebrating the SYF life, boasting

titles like Singular Existence and Living

Alone and Loving It. The New

York Times excited considerable discussion

last summer with a front–

page article announcing that young

women working full–time in several

... a man’s world, page 61

13


14

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On any given night, you can find Kat Perkins of

Scarlet Haze owning the stage as if she were performing

for thousands of fist–pumping fans, luring

each and every one in with her electric presence and

tenacious vocals. Whatever reason you find yourself there,

you’ll be taken on a rock show ride, complete with fog machines

and a lead singer with some major pipes. And although

Kat knows she’s outnumbered in this male dominated

rock world, she wouldn’t have it any other way. Shelby Meyers

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Not for the Jane Plain

PHOTO COURTESY OF JEFF REISWIG

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16

“Rock was always, always what I really had the heart for,”

Perkins, lead singer and songwriter of Scarlet Haze said.

“I’ve been on stage since I was five, so it just comes naturally,”

she continued. “Especially doing our original stuff, it really

comes from my heart and I try to portray that onstage.”

That distinct magnetism comes in part thanks to her band

mates’ skilled musicianship and her very own eclectic background.

“I did all of my training in opera,” Perkins explained.

“Then I did about six years of musical theater but I always said

I got hired for my voice, not my acting.” Playing Donna in Tony

and Tina’s Wedding right out of high school is what brought

her to the Twin Cities, unaware the serendipitous meeting of

her future band was just a few fake weddings away.

“I wanted to record some songs I’d written and I hired

the guys to play on it,” Perkins said. “After the second song

I asked them, ‘Are you guys available? Should we just start a

band?’ and everybody was free. Those guys are great musicians

so I don’t know how that happened.”

Without wasting any time, drummer Shane Speltz, bassist

Tony Wilson and guitarist Luke Fredrickson joined Kat

Perkins and came together as Scarlet Haze, ready to stretch

their rock and roll chops for fans across the Midwest.

“We just went for it, and ended up making an album,”

Perkins said. “We mixed it in Luke’s basement studio.” Out

of the Dark debuted in August of 2005, mixed in Fredrickson’s

label, LP Productions and just in time for their first

gig in Sturgis, SD.

Fast forward two years later. Blues guitarist Casey Smith

replaced Fredrickson and this quartet is relentlessly rocking

fans in Minneapolis clubs like Mayslack’s and the Fine Line

Music Café, as well as venues across the Upper Midwest

from Wisconsin to the Dakotas, with gems like “Give Me a

Reason” and “Come Undone.” But Perkins still finds herself

contemplating how it all happened. After the twists

and turns of her own career, she could have easily ended

up on a completely different stage than the one she now

calls home.

“Growing up in North Dakota, I dabbled in country music,”

Perkins explained. “I actually ended up in Nashville

for a year, got a deal and right at the moment I was gonna

sign I questioned myself. It wasn’t where my heart was

and that’s why I started writing [rock music], to get out

what I really wanted.”

“Performing in front of 15,000

people was unreal...That kind

of crowd is life changing”

And get it out she does, establishing Scarlet Haze’s

sound as one worth noticing. Each member consistently

ponies up spirited melodies and rhythms, shaping and

molding their style into something that only they can categorize.

“What’s really cool about us is that every person

brings their own influences,” Perkins said. “Shane is a big

Journey and Butch Walker fan. I’m a huge U2 fan. Tony

is a big Pearl Jam and Zeppelin fan, and Casey is a blues

guy. It all sounds weird but as it comes together it’s this

cool, melodic rock. We always kid saying we need our own

genre of expressional rock, or X Rock.”

No matter what you call it, it got Scarlet Haze on the local

radar screen, leading them to KQRS’ Battle of the Bands

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right out of the gates. With 15,160 votes in just four days,

Scarlet Haze was the crowned champion, garnering the

opening spot for Bon Jovi’s sold out Minneapolis show.

“Performing at the Target Center in front of 15,000 people was

unreal,” Perkins explained. “That kind of crowd is life changing.

The sound that comes out of 15,000 people is unbelievable.”

“At first it was kind of this

novelty, like there was never a

mirror in the dressing room”

And the ball just keeps rolling for Scarlet Haze, winning a

Minnesota Music Award, from the Minnesota Music Academy,

for Best Hard Rock Album with “Give Me a Reason”

this year. “That almost felt more rewarding than Bon Jovi

because we were recognized by the industry in Minnesota,”

Perkins said. “It was really great to be recognized by our

peers, that was a huge feat for us.”

But it hasn’t always been a smooth ride for Perkins, facing

some tough situations as a female rocker along the way. “At

first it was kind of this novelty, like there was never a mirror

in the dressing room and I’d always make the joke that,

oh, of course, cater to the guys and not the girls,” Perkins

said. “But I had to make a choice to commit and just do it,”

she continued. “I really had to develop a tough skin dealing

with the bar owners, you gotta be tough sometimes, especially

being a woman, but I’m very happy with where I’m

at, no question.”

Always supported by the rest of the band, Perkins

wouldn’t mind finding more support with other local female

artists. “To be honest, I can only think of about three

off the top of my head that I actually know;” Perkins said.

“We don’t really lean on each other’s shoulders or connect

at all because it’s not just another band in the Cities, it’s direct

competition. I wish that wasn’t the case. It sucks.”

As Scarlet Haze continues the local circuit, the fan

base continues to explode. With the sophomore album

in the works, fans can look forward to an EP in the next

few months and plenty of live shows around the Twin Cities.

“We’re getting there,” Perkins said. “People have been

wanting more and more, and we’re working on it.”

And in case you’re wondering, Perkins hasn’t completely

abandoned her North Dakota roots. “I still listen to country,

a lot of people might not know that about me, but I do,” she

said laughing.

sounds and schedules may be found at the band’s website

scarlethaze.com and myspace.com/scarlethaze

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PHOTO COURTESY OF JEFF REISWIG

17


Beyond

the

Little

Black

Dress

…when the little black dress is a little too boring…

We all have ‘em, the “go to” outfit: a little black dress. It’s comfortable,

it’s easy and it’s always in style. But guess what: everyone else

in the bar will be wearing the same thing. Don’t be scared to try

something new, show your fun, confident side in bright, contrasting

colors. It will be all eyes on you when you hit the dance floor!

Model: Data, Makeup: Tyra Noir

Looking tight in tights?

a colorful top paired with complimenting tights and

you’ll bring bright to the night


TWIN CITIES

IN HER VIEW

ARTIST FOCUS

Born and raised in the Philippines,

Mona Ruff–Saer was first exposed to

photography by her photojournalist

father, but little did she know the effect

it would have on her life. When

she came to San Francisco in 1991,

she began to take travel photos as a

hobby. She needed a creative outlet,

a medium through which to express

herself. Mona turned to photography

for that artistic expression. What had

started out as a hobby quickly became

a passion and, hopefully soon,

a career.

As with any career, she practiced and

fine–tuned her natural abilities. She

read books by Ansel Adams, subscribed

to online photography forums

to get feedback and worked with aspiring

models to hone her craft. Today,

Mona is based in Mankato, MN, and

shoots a wide variety of subjects from

children and families to weddings to

fashion models. She continues to view

photography as a passion and is contemplating

to, at some time, make it

her business. Each session is a chance

for her to “record that event in my life

permanently.” Her photos exude this

enthusiasm for her craft, as well as

reflect her deep respect and admiration

for her subjects. Mona Ruff–Saer

is most definitely not Jane Plain.

To see an online gallery of Mona’s

work and to find out about

upcoming events, go to:

www.studiomona.com

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Mona Ruff–Saer

21


... women of taken I’ve portraits some of proud

Inspiration springs from inside me,

the culmination of everything I’ve experienced in my life; places,

especially

persons and things and all the memories I’ve acquired I’m

... they exude such elegance and confidence


I am in tune with other people’s emotions and life experiences ...

... this helps me capture my subject’s true character

Let the subjects speak to you ...

... capture their beauty when they do


26

is the designer front of Renata

Veluto Nero Caponi, one of the Twin Cities’

up–and–comers in the gothic and fetish fashion genus. Caponi,

who prefers the sultry nickname Velvet, has always had a niche

for clothing. Before she could even say words like “rubber” or

“latex”, she was learning to walk in the hallways of the art department

at Macalester College, where her father was a professor.

She started sewing at the age of thirteen due to the illustrious

lack of well–fitting, good–looking clothes she could find in stores.

She got her first job designing costumes for a local theatre troupe

at fifteen. After a few summers of lots of flair but very low pay,

Velvet enrolled in the apparel program at Minneapolis Community

and Technical College at the age of twenty.

After finishing up at MCTC, Velvet and some fellow aspiring

designers decided to put on a show at the Saloon in Minneapolis

called “Figure of Expression.” The designs were an instant

success with patrons, and sparked the many shows that have

followed since.

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Currently a student at the University of Minnesota, Velvet is

going for a clothing design degree, and considering a double

major in retail merchandising to continue the cultivation of her

raw talent.

The Fashions

Stemming from her start in costume design, Velvet draws inspiration

from a lot of costume attire. She loves historical clothing,

especially corsets, and has been known to incorporate them

into her own personal style as well as her designs. Her latest

endeavor, in addition to other fetishwear and gothic apparel,

has been latex clothing. This is partially due to her response

to the Flurs Du Mal show last year at First Avenue Night Club

when they asked her to “do something a little more “fetishy.”

“Fetishy” is what they got, and since then, the majority of her

design requests have been in keeping with those from that very

show, which has allowed Velvet to really begin experimenting

with rubber.

“It [rubber] has a duality that I really enjoy. It feels very natural

and organic to wear – feeling almost like a second skin, but

at the same time, has the appearance of something very inorganic

and industrial.”

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27


28

While current pieces are offered on a custom, one–of–a–kind

basis a new ready–to–wear offering is soon to be added.

Best, of course, is to have something made especially for you.

Form, fit and fetish can best be expressed through her fashion

in that manner.

One shouldn’t be fooled by the black PVC and vampire–esque

creations. Velvet is one of the nicest, most easygoing, down–to–

earth people that could be in this crazy fashion industry. Creative

energy just beams out of her, and you’ll be left with the feeling she

could create anything to fulfill the dreams of almost anyone.

For those who tastes run to the edgy and eclectic, Veluto Nero is

a design line worthy of exploration.

See more of her exciting designs and learn of her events at

www.velutonero.com

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30

Forward Thinking About Vintage

Hadley Lavanger

Walking into Go Vintage is like walking into your grandmother’s

attic–if your grandmother had an amazing taste in clothes and kept

them all in mint condition. Racks of dresses, shirts, sweaters and jackets

line the walls. Hats are the wall decoration. Antique jewelry fills

a case and spills out onto the counter top. Beaded evening bags and

old shoes are found at every turn. It is the kind of store where you can

find a classic 1950s pink cocktail dress with silk sash, or a hot pink,

orange and green mini dress from the 60s, or a gorgeous 1930s ivory

wedding dress with lace sleeves and seed pearl beading. And all this

for very reasonable prices (the wedding dress was $89!). In addition

to all the women’s clothes, there is a whole basement of men’s apparel,

plus a small wall of adorable children’s wear

Two of the best treasures of the store are the owners: Kevin Looney

and Jerusa Carswell. Both are so passionate about the clothes and

that passion is infectious. What is now a thriving business began as

a hobby. They had been collectors and admirers for years. One day,

Kevin bought 300 available stock bowling shirts from the 1960s to

the 1980s to sell. Then they started going to estate sales and shows.

Finally, they had so much inventory that they decided to open a store.

In October 2006, Go Vintage was born.

Kevin and Jerusa still go to shows several times a year. In fact, they

outfit celebrities and provide wardrobe for movies. A Valley of the

Dolls remake is in production and Go Vintage provided much of the

clothes for it. Fashion powerhouses like Ralph Lauren and Anthropologie

buy from them to get inspiration for new lines. It just goes to show

that classic never goes out of style. Clothes that you can buy in at their

boutique St. Paul could show up on runways in Milan and Paris!

Eyes wide and repeating, “gorgeous, beautiful, pretty” over and

over, I wandered through the racks of the small store. It was a little

overwhelming. I wanted to look at everything, but there was so much,

to see it all in one trip would be next to impossible. Luckily, Jerusa and

Kevin know the store and the clothes, so with their guidance I was

soon ready to play dress–up.

Due to sizes changing a lot in the past eighty years (a size 16

in the 1950s might be about the same as a size 6 today), for convenience

Go Vintage puts the hip, waist and bust measurements on

every tag. Like many women, I do not carry these numbers around

with me in my purse. Thankfully, Jerusa was there. Just by looking

at me, she grabbed four amazing dresses off the racks. Four dresses

that I hadn’t even seen when I looked through them earlier. They all fit

me perfectly, and they were comfortable because they actually were

made to accentuate and work with a woman’s curves. My favorite was

a 1950s “wiggle” dress, the kind that Marilyn Monroe would have

worn. It was a sparkling blue and silver material, had a high neck,

three–quarter sleeves and a shorter skirt. Ignoring my thought that it

would look horrible on me, I slipped it on. The dress was tight in all

the right places and forgiving in all the places that I wanted to hide. At

the stomach, there was ruching of the fabric that hid my tummy. The

tight fabric made my butt look sculpted and, well, luscious instead of

the size of Texas. The high neck made it look subtly sexy and classy.

I felt like a movie star. As I pulled back the dressing room curtain, I

was beaming. I had to own this dress. I had to own whatever made

me feel this good about myself. At the surprising price of $45, I just

couldn’t say no.

And so I believe that I have begun a love affair with vintage. I’ve

always admired the older clothes, especially from the 40s and 50s,

but I never knew how accessible they could be. I thought they were

out of my reach. When, really, they’ve just been waiting for me in St.

Paul. After spending five minutes with Kevin and Jerusa, you would

feel the exact same way. Their passion is contagious and exciting.

With vintage, you can wear something completely unique and different

instead of yet another mass produced shirt that all of your friends

own too. In addition, vintage has a story, a past, a history. The clothes

are as special as you will feel when you wear them. And Go Vintage

is the perfect place to start.

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Chelsea Fox: Model

Tyra Noir: Makeup

Definitely

Not

Jane

Plain


Allison

A fun and very energetic 22 year old, Allison’s goals are

to do as much modeling work as she can. She loves being

in front of the camera; the whole process for her is a

rush. With poise and style, she is not Jane plain.

Courtney D

Soon to collect a new degree from the University of

MN, Courtney likes to find herself in the part time

role of a model. Both a gymnast and a diver, she

is that unique blend of competitor and scholar we

consider not Jane Plain.

Ashley

I’m just a normal girl whose hair doesn’t always stay in place. I

spill things and can be really clumsy. I want to give up sometimes

because I’m far from perfect, but then I take a step back and realize

how wonderful life can be, and that maybe I like it because IT’S

ME, not Jane Plain.

Emily

While carrying a full load at the University of Wisconsin Stout,

and majoring in Fashion Merchandising, this energetic young

lady finds time to enjoy the clubs and is embarking on her first

experiences in modeling and developing a portfolio. Tying interests

together and gaining experiences is not Jane Plain.

Giovanna

A budding real estate magnate, Giovanna, already

has her first rental property and is not stopping there.

Wise financial planning and hard work as a server is

contributing to the success of this not Jane Plain!

Josie

Businesswoman by day, model by night, and mom and

mentor all of the time. This mathematician, statistician,

economist slash model is definitely not Jane Plain!

She certainly isn’t your average woman. She’s sexy, smart, and just a

little bit sassy. Whether she’s at work, out on a date, or sipping lattes

with friends, she’s confident, stylish, and full of life.

Does this describe you? Let’s let our readers decide.

Every month Shattered Glam Magazine will be featuring the hottest,

most exceptional women the Twin Cities has to offer. Remember, this is

not a beauty contest. To enter, not only will you submit a photograph,

but also a short paragraph telling us what makes you one–of–a–kind.

Girls with the most unique

individual style and personality will be selected.

Not Jane Plain is the total package.

Our readers will decide who they are by voting for their favorites at our

website. Monthly winners will appear in our planned

Not Jane Plain calendar.

Not Jane Plain. Not your average woman.

Maybe she’s you!

To enter or vote: www.shattered–glam.com


34

A View

From

The Friends

Zone

by Rachel Kalas

It has happened to me so many times, I am starting to think

it has been stamped on my forehead. At first I thought it was

a fluke, but when it kept happening I knew I was done for, I

reside in a dreadful place: “The Friends Zone.”

I shudder just at the sight of the words. There have been a

few times I have met a guy that I am truly interested in getting

to know, not just truly interested in getting into bed. But somehow

the fates turn against me, and during the getting–to–

know–you process, I get put into the miserable Friends Zone.

Naturally it doesn’t happen with the guys that I have little

interest in. Or, I’ll think I have outsmarted the Friends Zone

curse, finding a guy that is interesting, good looking and

smart; when all he turns out to be is needy, clingy, obsessive,

and paranoid.

When you are a young, attractive female, having a few guy

friends can be more of a burden than a blessing. For one,

you are still single, and all of the guys you know are already

your friends. Often, if your long time guy friend acquires a

girlfriend, you are the first to get banned from the parties.

Good thing my guy friends are still single.

Then there is the new guy you are dating. Everything is going

great, until he finds out you hang out with more guys than

girls. He may say that he isn’t jealous and that he trusts you,

but ladies, we all know how he really feels. That relationship

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needs to end the moment the words, “No honey, it’s cool, I

trust you” come stumbling out of his mouth. What he is really

saying is, “every time you are late to show up, I will suspect

you are with him.” The drama is rarely worth it.

But by far the worst is the one that got away. We all have

them, but they really don’t count if you don’t realize that they

got away. This is the guy that you wanted to date, tried to

date, and should be happily dating right now, but you’re not.

For whatever reason, you are nice and snug in each other’s

friends zone. And that is probably where you will stay for

many years until you finally drift apart. You will watch each

other go through boring, even sometimes desperate relation-

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ships. During this time each of you will be thinking of the

other, but there is nothing that can be done. The words that

scream out in your brain stay tucked inside safe and sound,

since you are too afraid to risk the friendship that has formed

over the years. So the way I look at it, this friendship is bound

to end; either when you get a serious boyfriend, or he gets a

serious girlfriend. So what do you have to lose?

I say, rebel against nature’s law. Tell those boys what you

really want. If it is just a friendship you want, great. Tell them

to stay out of your pants and not to bother trying. And if it

is more, let ‘em know that your Friend Zone is full, and there

won’t be another opening for a very long time.

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awesome

Breakfasts

after a night of boozing The night before may have been a blast,

but the morning after brings two things:

a headache and a hungry stomach. Here

are a few of the best breakfast joints in

The Cities to cure the two.

Uptown Bar

3018 Hennepin Ave S Minneapolis

They serve breakfast until 10 pm, so no matter how late

you sleep in, you can still feel like it’s morning. Uptown

Bar not only has a huge breakfast menu–everything

from pancakes to a Polish hot dish skillet–they also

have great coffee, and most importantly, the best cure

for a hangover: Drinks. They have giant, tasty Bloody

Marys, some of the best in the city, and of course anything

else you could want to drink.

Bryant Lake Bowl

810 W Lake St Minneapolis

It’s little, but you can bowl! Once again, you can get

drinks there, cure that hangover, and the food is nummy

too. Try something you wouldn’t otherwise: Tofu Scramble

or Bison Hash; or stick to old favorites, either way

you’ll be pleased. The only downside: They only serve

breakfast until 2 on Sunday.

Uptown Diner

2821 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis

OK, it’s always busy and you can’t drink there, but

they do have the best damn waffle fries I’ve ever had…

available any time… but, I recommend them at 3 a.m.

if there aren’t any good afterparties going on. You can

top pancakes, waffles or French toast with blueberries

and bananas, their “Kamikaze Style.”

They also have a wide range of tasty egg dishes–Benedict

and house specials. Find me someone that doesn’t

like Uptown Diner breakfast and your next breakfast

might be on me… It’s only around $8.


38

CC Club

2600 Lyndale Ave S Minneapolis

If you don’t want to wait for a table, CC Club is a good

choice. Typically thought of as more of a nighttime place,

don’t overlook it for the AM fix. The menu is small and

straightforward but quality; eggs and bacon, omelets,

pancakes… The bloodies are good, the mimosas are so–

so. But it’s a dirty little bar with tasty food, and my favorite

waitress in the cities. (Go there and make a guess.)

Key’s Café

Various Locations

It’s a classic Minnesota place to go for breakfast, and

chances are there is one in your neck of the woods. I like

the Keys Downtown in the Foshay the best; this one has

a full bar you can wait at because the place gets totally

packed. The vegetable omelet and the Mexican–style omelet

and both delicious. No lie; the service isn’t the best,

and the crowd usually gives the young and crazy dirty

looks, but the food is tasty. Tasty enough to eat there no

matter what.

French Meadow Bakery

2610 Lyndale Ave S Minneapolis

This place is great if you want to at least feel like you’re

eating healthy. If you ask me, a croissant has the same

amount of fat and calories no matter how organic, but on

Sunday morning, breakfast is about taste, and the food

here tastes good. French Meadow also has vegan options,

options that fit the Zone Diet, and extra tasty treats like the

breakfast quesadilla and Cajun style hash browns. Something

for everyone for sure.

Egg & I

2828 Lyndale Ave Minneapolis

I’ve been walking by this place for years before I ever

walked in; I shouldn’t have waited so long. This place is

a simple diner, with simple décor and classic American

breakfast.

The food here is tasty–and the menu is full of options. Go

all–out and fatty, try the fruit–filled Kamikaze pancakes, or

take the healthy route and try an egg white omelet.

One thing to note: Egg & I is only open till 3 pm, so if

you’re one to sleep all day after a night out, hit the place

up at 6 am on your way home from the party.

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Let’s face the facts, lots of us like beer; actually wait, who doesn’t

like beer? Swilling the suds is one thing, but you may want to try

a beer with flavor that better matches your meal or mood. Commonly

available from a local brewery, these beers have a distinct

flavor, and could be stronger in alcohol content. And for those of

you who loathe a quick refill, some of these ales and lagers are

available in a 22 oz. bottle.

These fine brews come from Flat Earth Brewing Company, located

in St. Paul, MN. Operated by the young woman Cathie Williamson

and her husband, the microbrewery is now circulating its

distinctive ales and lagers throughout the region.

When you visit their website, you won’t just be treated with

alluring brew titles such as Winter Warlock and Angry Planet Organic

Pale Ale. You will also be enticed by their flavor profile,

including alcohol content, and compelling food accompaniment

recommendations. All but one beer offered is above 5% alcohol

content; two of them are at 9%. Which should make these beers

more for sipping, and not so much for slammin’. To hear that every

title given to the ales and lagers were designed to spark conversation

gives no surprise, considering their philosophy is “dedicated

to brewing on the edge.”

Planning to create and deliver styles that are not frequently

found in the Upper Midwest, Cathie Williamson, President and

Official Taster, now tells her story as a young entrepreneur.

“It has been an interesting journey in the last five years, evolving

from a “frat beer” drinker to co–owner of a microbrewery.

After graduating from the University of Minnesota with a B.S. in

Medical Technology, my palate was pretty much one–dimensional.

I assumed most beers were supposed to taste like the usual

American light lagers available en masse. Then along came Summit

Extra Pale Ale (cue angels singing Halleluiah) and my palate

was opened up to a whole new experience. “You mean there is

more than one beer style?” It still took me a long time to erase in

my mind what beer was ‘supposed to taste like’, but my world really

changed after a road trip through my native New England.

The area is flourishing with unique and original microbreweries

and brewpubs. Sampling craft beer from New England led to discovering

Minnesota microbreweries and brewpubs at home.”

Her husband Jeff developed a serious thirst for craft beer and

an obsession with the craft of brewing. Finally deciding a career

change was in order and after finishing that year as a teacher,

he set out for a job– any job– in the microbrewery industry. After

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TYRA NOIR & RACHEL KALAS

some temporary work at the famed home–brewing store Northern,

he landed what he calls a ‘golden opportunity’ at Minneapolis

Town Hall Brewery as assistant brewer. There, he honed his craft

and learned to bring the science and art of brewing into focus.

The couple’s plan was always to open a business of their own.

Cathie remembers when the words finally came; “You know, maybe

we should open our own place.” After a few years of careful

planning and refinancing everything they owned, it finally came

to life.

Cathie continues to work as a clinical microbiologist at the University

of Minnesota Medical Center–Fairview, but is now also the

second woman to own a microbrewery in the state.

News on the beers, the retailers, the bars and events sponsored

by the brewery are available at their website: www.

flatearthbrewing.com

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Wear&

Tyra Noir’s

How

Out of His Closet

Dad’s Button Down

Show me a dad that doesn’t

have a striped button–down

shirt… This look is so easy to

take off in a changing room,

so it’s great for shopping;

with a few buttons loosened,

thick tie belt and a pair of

stretch pants or really skinny

jeans, shopping for boys at

the mall will be easy too.

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Grandpa’s Cardigan

Grandparent’s clothes rock–we don’t all thrift shop for no reason, right?

Take that oversize Papa sweater and pull it wrap–style; clasp with a girly pin. Over a button–up

shirt, it’s a smart, sassy and sexy look. And that cute boy at the library will totally look twice.

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42

Boyfriend’s Sweater

It’s cold, you were all dressed up in a cute little outfit, and the boy’s sweater is your only option to stay warm

when everyone comes back to your place for the after–dinner drinks…. Then you notice how good the

sweater looks on! Throw it on with boots and tights next time you go out. Hot.

Little Brother’s Blazer

Oh, they grow so fast. Lucky for you. Tights, a skirt, a tee (which you could take from him too) looks cute,

but topping it off with a blazer makes it an outfit. Forget something loose that you could actually wear to

work, and throw on your lil bro’s. The shrunken look is sexy and adds sophistication to that miniskirt!

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Do you know your music and fashion style? Well, you are one step away from finding

out! Take this quiz to see if you epitomize punk, indie, soft, classic, or pop rock. Even

if you already think that you know what kind of music you like, the following quiz

might make you reconsider your whole personality and look deep within yourself to

find that out. Or, it’ll just be a fun distraction as you “do homework” or “listen” as

your boss gives you your next assignment.

Favorite Clothing Store:

A. Ann Taylor

B. The grimiest thrift store

C. Mom’s give–away pile

D. Local boutiques

E. Hollister

Shoe of Choice:

A. Heels

B. Chunky black boots

C. Old cowboy boots

D. Converse All–Stars, I’m

always looking at them.

E. Wedges

Favorite Underwear:

A. Satin panties

B. Why bother?

C. Hip huggers

D. Little boy’s briefs

E. Leopard thong

Concertwear:

A. Pearls and a cardigan

B. Studded belt

C. Beer T–shirt

D. Tight straight Leg Jeans

E. Um… Something pink

and shiny, duh.

Pick Your Poison:

A. White wine

B. Anything that’s brown…

or clear

C. PBR

D. Stella Artois

E. Something fruity… like

a Sex on the Beach?

What Do You Smoke?

A. Excuse me? Ladies don’t

smoke

B. Bali Shag

C. Marlboro Reds

D. Clove

E. Bubblegum!

Your Dream Boy Has:

A. A nicely parted coif

B. A Kool–aide dyed mohawk

C. Shoulder–length hair,

with beard to match

D. The same hair cut as

I have. He wears the

same size

E. Short, spiky blonde

Favorite Musical Artist:

A. Colbie Caillat

B. The Ramones

C. Janis Joplin

D. The Smiths

E. Fergie

Favorite Movie:

A. Titanic

B. Sid & Nancy

C. Almost Famous

D. Garden State

E. Charlie’s Angels

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44

Mostly A’s: Soft Rock

You flip for Carly Simon, Heart, even Barry Manilow,

and your skirt flips, too. You define “girlie”

with your flowing skirts and cardigans; pearls are

your staple. You never leave the house without

your hair brushed and your blush on… even to

go to the mailbox.

Mostly B’s: Punk Rock

Sheena is a punk rocker, and so are you. Black

skirt, a studded belt and a black t–shirt, and you

are happy. Don’t wash your hair, rat it hardcore.

Put today’s black eyeliner over last night’s. Your

drunken basement tattoos may not be embarrassing,

but one day you’ll probably cover ‘em with

that anarchy symbol.

Mostly C’s: Classic Rock

Drink your beer. Take a ride to Sturgis. Rock out to

Led Zepplin, Grateful Dead, and Pink Floyd. Boots

are necessary if your’re going to hop on your bike,

and your comfy thrift store jeans are torn in the

right places; of course, you still want to look sexy,

so under your biker jacket you wear a little tank.

You and your man may have the string hair at the

local grocery, but you’re one classic rock hottie.

Mostly D’s: Indie Rock

Shoe gazers unite! Just because you love Joy

Division, the Smiths and more recently, Interpol

and the White Stripes, doesn’t mean you

are depressed. Bold primary colors, thrift store

clothes… anything before the 2000s could be

hot. Your hair is ratted, then flat–ironed. You love

eyeliner. You don’t love heels. Just throw on tight

jeans and boots. That’s hot.

Mostly E’s: Pop Rock

Pop has gotten quite the bad rap lately. It used to be

the rockers into the drugs, and the pop was for the

kids, but nowadays that seems to have changed;

however, you don’t have to hoe yourself out to be a

pop star. Think AJ and Ali–a lot of style, class, and

age–appropriate dress. Spend 45 minutes on your

hair, throw on some sparkling eye shadow, and

your face will be more important than your outfit.

True pop is for the young, and a modest pink top,

jeans and heels are perfect.

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It is 5:02pm, you’ve just worked eight hours, and all you want to do is go home and throw on some sweats to watch guilty–pleasure TV. I

know how you feel. The last thing you want to do is go to the gym, long past your 9:30 am caffeine buzz. When the choice is between

the oh so seductive call of the couch, and the sweat and pain of the elliptical machine, you try to justify why going tomorrow

is better for your hectic schedule. Besides the obvious healthier lifestyle of beating yourself up on a number of different machines,

there a few other reasons to put your athletic club membership into use.

Look at Those Abs!

Our daily routine of work or school can get tiresome and boring. Even the work–savvy have their moments of boredom. Flipping

through the abandoned fitness mag or checking out the elusive hottie that works in your building; both tend to bring your thoughts to

a much more suggestive place. Unless these men are genetically altered by the gods, they got this way by working out. Most of them,

(hint, hint) accomplish this at the athletic club or gym.

Most men won’t admit it, but they work out for the attention it gets them. So go give them the attention they want. They will notice

something as simple as an “elevator eyes” glance. And their silent, yet not–missed response will have you feeling just as coy. Even if

you are attached to another, the harmless flirting reminds you that you are still attractive to someone besides your bedroom partner.

I Go For the Clothes

Shopping for clothes can always be justified. But no justification is needed when checking out a new line of sportswear at Target

or Kohl’s. Their yoga pants and workout tops hold in the right spots, and stretch in the best spots. Victoria’s Secret has a sexy line of

shorts and sweats that is bound to catch anyone’s eye.

Your shoe closet always has room for a new pair of tennies to complete

the outfit. Most athletic clubs have a pro shop of some sort with

a wide variety of shoes and apparel for all your needs. Picking out the

right pair, however, is not always as easy. Reaching for the cutest pair

on the shelf is the habit, but the sales associate can direct you to the pair

that is best for your feet. By measuring your feet and finding your workout

specifications, the sales associate will adorn your feet with not just

a stylish pair, but the most comfortable pair of shoes for your workout

needs. With the bonus of the new foot apparel, you also have made a

new friend at your workout spot.

The Right Workout

Once you are at the gym and are checking out the cuties; it may look

a little stalker–ish if you just stand and stare. Hopping onto the machine

with the best view may be the first thing to pop into your head. As tempting

as it is, it may not be the best idea. If you can’t afford to hire one of

the hunky personal trainers, start out with something you know. Take a

machine that is familiar to you, and start out slow. There is nothing more

discouraging than getting your butt kicked by the machine in the first

5 minutes of your workout. If you prefer to hide amongst a group, or if

you are just looking to make a few new girlfriends, check out the schedule

for group fitness exercises. Most of them are at not extra cost, being

included in your membership. They provide a fun, new way to exercise

socially and prepare you for a more rigorous workout. Chat with a few

of the girls before the class starts. Get to know the do’s and don’ts of the

class; this way when the class starts, you don’t feel so out of place.

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... flirting for fitness page 54

Hadley Lavanger & Rachel Kalas

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DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS

Shattered Glam Magazine promotes healthy hygiene for all our readers

and urges you to practice these solutions only when necessary.

Secret # 1: You didn’t get the chance to shower this morning

and now your hair is all greasy.

Your solution: Baby powder.

We’ve all been there: The alarm didn’t go off or you pressed

snooze a few too many times, and now you don’t have time to

shower. The first mistake most chicas make is brushing their hair

extensively to work the oil out. Unfortunately, brushing stimulates

the glands that produce oil, thus making your awesome

locks look horribly lackluster. So, sprinkle a small amount of

baby powder in your palms, rub them together, and apply lightly

to the roots. The powder should absorb most of the oil. To

finish, brush very gently until the powder has vanished and style

as usual. Voila! You are oil–free!

Secret # 2: Due to your inability to shower, you smell anything

but “springtime fresh.”

Your solution: Good deodorant, some sweet–smelling lotion,

and a panty liner.

The first two are obvious, the last one may be a bit odd, but

altogether they will leave you confident when you walk out the

door, instead of self–conscious.

First, apply deodorant as usual. Then, use a generous amount of

your favorite scented lotion all over your arms, neck, and chest.

As for the panty liner business, use a thin pad to line your underwear.

It will absorb odors and make you feel fresher.

Secret # 3: You partied hard at the Spin last night, and passed

out with your head on your hand. Unlucky for you, the drinker

stamp transferred permanent ink from your hand onto your forehead.

The bad news? Water definitely won’t take it off.

Your solution: Aerosol hairspray, rubbing alcohol, or a

magic eraser.

Experts are torn between which method is best for this emergency.

Some recommend using aerosol hairspray sprayed onto

the mark and rubbing gently with a cloth. Others believe good

old–fashioned rubbing alcohol is the magic answer for magic

marker. One of the most interesting home remedies consists of

using a magic eraser the same as you would on any kitchen or

bathroom surface. Only this time, be a little easy on the sensitive

skin of the face.

Secret # 4: You’re breathing a little close to the mirror trying

to apply some concealer in ultra–high speed when you realize

that unattractive odor is actually your breath.

Your solution: Surprisingly enough, the number one bad

breath solution is chewing a sprig of fresh parsley. Now, assuming

that our SG readers may not all be amateur apartment ...

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for the Tardy & Unshowered

Sami Grimes

... dirty little secrets page 54

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48

Nachos smothered in cheese, cookies, french fries,

ice cream. Why must they all taste so good? Making it

worse – you start with a couple Doritos, and next thing

you know, you’re raiding your cupboards for that box of

brownie mix you just know you bought a couple months

ago. Why? WHY?

Besides the mouth–watering deliciousness of junk food,

there are other reasons people reach for goodies instead

of good–for–you snacks.

Stress is one of ’em, especially for females.

Boss mad at you? Grab a handful of M&Ms, a nice extra

150 calories. Boyfriend trouble? Gorge into that gallon

of chocolate–chocolate chip ice cream with your girls over

tears. Hell, throw in some hot fudge. RIGHT INTO THAT

GALLON TUB!

If you can keep these to a minimum, go ahead and

indulge. I, along with many other women in the world,

envy you. But what if it’s everyday stress, and suddenly

you realize you have gained 25 pounds in 3 months? Are

Tyra Noir

Work is done, mouth is watering...

what can save you from passing

out on the drive home?

Junk.

we really expected to reach for a comfort carrot instead

of a comfort carrot cake? Deny the fried potatoes our

grandmas made us?

The answer is simple: Yeah, we are expected to take

the higher, healthier route, and in the long run it really is a

good idea. But it’s no fun.

Stress eating is a bad habit. Food is a drug. It works on

your hypothalamus, it numbs your pain. I’m not going to

be unrealistic and say, “Step away from the cheesecake.”

No, just don’t eat all those fries when you know what you

want is cheesecake so you end up with both… or split the

cheesecake with someone.

Why eat junk food? It’s quick and easy.

Cook a dinner or stop by someone claiming to be a

king of burgers on the way home after the two hours of

overtime? Hit up the grocery store or ring a bell for a Mexican

fiesta–in–the–mouth?

When I’m hungry, I’m ready to eat, immediately. I will

forfeit a great meal to fill up on some sour cream and

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cheddar chips, just because I can munch on them while I’m

on the way home from work or school. Let’s face it, after

a long day, isn’t running into a gas station for a snack, or

hitting up a drive–through (especially after hitting happy

hour…) so appealing? Find me a woman that works all

day and wants to come home and work all night slaving

over a stove. If you find one, I’ll bring her a cheeseburger.

So what to do to break through?

Keeping a bag of carrots for when you want something

crunchy is not going to work for most of us, but there is

a chip alternative that is actually tasty: Almond crackers.

They are thin as a chip, crunchy, really salty, and come in a

ton of flavors. You can dip ’em, put cheese on ’em, or scarf

’em down plain. Tasty and at 130 calories a serving, if you

accidentally eat the whole thing during rush hour, there are

only 4 servings in a box. At least it’s less than half the calories

of that bag of chips you usually stop for.

The other thing that works well is the $1 bag of nuts. It

looks small, but once you eat the whole bag, you realize

that you aren’t that hungry. Plus, they have protein, and

that helps keep you full; and the flavor on the nuts conquer

that craving for salt. Try the hot and spicy nuts. Spice helps

fill you up, too!

If you have more of a sweet tooth, here is something

you can do for that; however, it takes a little bit of control.

Go ahead and buy a giant bag of your favorite candy

and put a few pieces in your car for after work each day.

Fun size candy bars are about 70 calories a piece, so instead

of getting a king size, or, let’s not lie, that 12 oz bag

on the bad days, throw in four minis. You’ll eat it slower

than you would one whole candy bar. I know, it seems too

small, so if you think you need to wean yourself down,

start by bringing something slightly healthy too, even if

it’s candied nuts or raisins. Calorie–packed, yes, but at

least you get some nutrients!

Word of advice:

Sugar–free candy is not the way around your trucker

butt. First off, the amount of calories is about the same as

regular candy, and that’s what really matters. Second, the

stuff doesn’t taste as good. Third, and most important, it

can make you really, really sick. People wouldn’t want to

be around you even if you did lose weight. Not good.

Tasty, fast, filling goodness

I know, I know, you’re thinking: “Tyra, what if after work

I crave a delicious bacon double cheeseburger and a large

fry? No cracker or candy bar can cure that!”

Yeah, I agree. When I want chicken nuggets and fries,

trying to eat a grilled chicken salad while driving isn’t going

to cut it. So, if you have a habit of going to grab-

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bing fast food every day, especially if you get it at 5:00

and then eat dinner at 8:00 (don’t lie my friends), for your

health’s sake, you have to stop that crap. Here is what you

could try:

Start by cutting the fast food in half. I don’t mean get

the 8–piece instead of the 16. If you really hit the drive–

through every day on the way home, start going three

times a week, then go down to two, then one, then every

other week (which is probably fine if you ask me.). Bring a

little snack in your car; it will help.

If you drive–through because you don’t want to cook

din–din, try hitting your local co–op’s hot foods or deli section.

You won’t have to cook, the food will be really tasty,

and it’s definitely healthier. But don’t get the family size,

my friend.

I know, we all struggle

Don’t beat yourself up if you go off your plan. If you

get dumped or fired, don’t think twice about ordering that

milkshake. There is a right amount of junk food, ruling it

out completely isn’t realistic. I say, if you grab a beer with

a chicken finger basket one day a week, oh well; get off

the bus a couple blocks before your stop, or carry those

bags around the mall an extra couple times. The most

important thing is getting the nutrients you need to live a

balanced life.

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Sexy Sizes?

Any woman, even if she is a fashion model or a

movie star, is insecure about some part of her

body. The last thing that an insecure woman

then wants to do is strip down and bare all in

sexy lingerie for her significant other. Dilemma?

You want to add spice to your love life and do

something special for your mate, but the idea

of trying to squeeze into some tight, uncomfortable

piece of lace is the worst thing in the world.

You think that he doesn’t want to see your thighs,

or small boobs, or little potbelly; but the truth is,

if he loves you, he can’t even see the flaws that

you see in yourself. So, here are some tips to not

only knock his socks off, but to make you feel

sexy and confident in your lingerie.

...oh puh-leeze...

score your sexiest with savvy

Hadley Lavanger

Real Women Have Curves

If you are insecure with your bigger thighs, hips, or booty, never fear! There

are plenty of things that you can wear to turn your ass into an asset!

First, try out the babydoll nighties or slips. Even with a shorter skirt, as

long as the fabric is loose and flowing, it’ll hide your tummy and upper

thighs. Empire waists really help with this as well. You can also find longer

versions that will completely disguise your entire leg without losing

the sex appeal. A long, black lace nightie with some hot stilettos is incredibly

alluring.

Plunging necklines are another way to draw attention from your bigger

lower section. Use your boobs as a distraction from what you’re more insecure

about.

Booty shorts are also incredibly flattering to women who do

not have a rock hard bottom. Since thongs are so little, they

can sometimes make your butt look bigger in comparison.

Boy shorts, however, make your butt shapelier. Your man

won’t be able to wait to give it a little pinch.

Obviously, darker colors like black are much more slimming.

Black stockings really do the trick to make your legs look longer

and slimmer. Paired with some extra–high heels, you’ll

have the legs you’ve always dreamed of.

The Ballerina Body

If you are skinny with very little breasts and hips, lingerie is

the ideal way to give your body the curves it does not have

naturally. Start with a whalebone corset that will give the illusion

of fuller hips. Garter belts also help to add curves and

draw attention to your smaller stomach.

See–through materials can increase sex appeal as well. Nighties

made out of lace or netting will make the most out of your

small thighs and stomach. Anything really tight, like a clingy,

Spandex slip, will also make you appear curvier.

Push–up bras are a godsend to women with smaller boobs.

They use what you have to the greatest advantage. There are

several different kinds on the market that use padding, water,

gel or even air. It’s instant cleavage and an instant burst of

womanly confidence.

Right in Between

You’re not too big, not too small. Your boobs aren’t big, but

they’re not tiny either. Well, you may not know it, but you’re

actually very lucky, because you can wear just about anything.

Make the discussed tips work for you. Whatever makes you

feel the most comfortable and the sexiest will be perfect for

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you. Hide what you’re most insecure about and flaunt what

you love, and you can’t go wrong!

Another lingerie option for women of any size, besides the

classic teddies or garter belts, is costumes. This can be an

additional way to shake up your lingerie routine. Around

Christmas, why not dress up as a hot Mrs. Claus? Victoria’s

Secret always has a great costume for this particular option

around the holiday season. Ask your boyfriend what his fantasy

is and try to fulfill it. Maybe it’s a sexy school girl or a

naughty nurse, a bad cop or a Playboy bunny. Role–playing

is the perfect opportunity to become someone else, to take

on a new persona; and that is exciting in and of itself. If you

are self–conscious about lingerie, here is your chance to become

someone who feels confident in whatever she’s wearing.

Whatever the fantasy, he’ll appreciate your efforts to

please him and will most likely want to reciprocate as well.

So, start thinking about what your fantasy is as well.

Sexy Lingerie That Fits! Means the Confidence to be Sexy

The key to looking good in lingerie is knowing what fits and

what doesn’t. Go to Victoria’s Secret (or any major department

store) and get yourself fitted for a bra. Often, corset

sizes correspond to bra sizes so you’ll want to know your

exact measurements for both. Make sure that whatever you

wear is the right size. I know sometimes it can be hard to

admit that you need a bigger size, but it really will look better

on you. Don’t be embarrassed to grab a large instead of a

medium. Sometimes lingerie can run small, so bring a range

of sizes into the dressing room with you. Don’t choose an

outfit that doesn’t fit just because your boyfriend wants that

specific style. Find something that you both find flattering

and attractive, and you’ll be much happier to wear it. Experiment

with different shapes, colors and textures. Find what

you think is sexy and what looks hot on you.

Shannen Doherty said, “If God wanted us to be naked, why

did he invent sexy lingerie?” Why indeed? Lingerie is the perfect

way to add a little pizzazz to your love life. It keeps your

partner on his toes and reminds him exactly what a fun and

beautiful woman you are. Wearing lingerie is also a perfect

opportunity to feel glamorous about yourself. As long as you

have the confidence and the knowledge of your body to know

what’s right, you can pull off anything. So, slip on a pair of

fishnets or a slinky nightie and surprise your man tonight.

You may just surprise yourself when you look in the mirror

and a sexy, glamorous woman is looking back.

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Do you know the warning signs of falling

into credit card crisis? Unfortunately, many

girls don’t and are getting in over their

heads because they are not using their credit

wisely. These debts are threatening their financial

futures. Paying your minimum payments

each month doesn’t mean you have

your credit problem under control.

Just paying the minimum amount benefits

the credit card company, not you.

Minimum payments cause credit cards

debts to stick around longer and, in turn,

continue to build interest. You become

enslaved to your debt, paying mostly on

the interest instead of the purchase; and

that is how credit card companies make

money.

Are you

facing a

Credit

Card

Crisis?

If

your stress level is constantly through the roof with worries about your

credit cards, then you know you’re in over your head. What you need

to realize is that the first step to overcoming your debt problem is to

recognize it. Here are five more warning signs you are headed towards credit

card trouble:

You don’t pay back as much as you charge

This example is a lot like trying to fill a bucket full of water, only to find out that

your bucket has a big hole in it. No matter how much water you put in, it’s just going

to fall out. Your credit card debt is the same way if you continue to charge on it

without substantial payments back on the debt. Your debt will continue to increase.

You have no plan to pay off your credit card debt

You should have an active plan to pay off your debt. It’s a safe way to control

your finances. If you’re not paying off the right amounts on the right cards, you can

unnecessarily end up paying for years to come. You should actually always have a

financial plan for all of your balances and payments. It’s just a wise thing to do.

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You think you can afford expensive

items through credit

Many people make the mistake of

charging things on their credit cards because

they believe that since they are not

paying for everything at once, they can

automatically afford it. This is never the

case. Only when you have extra income,

from a raise, or lower expenses (such as

no more student loans) can you truly afford

expensive items. Using your credit card for

luxuries you can’t afford is not a smart decision

towards your future finances.

Your accounts are past due

If your cards are already past due,

then you’re probably in financial trouble

now, which is preventing you from making

payments. This can only cause you to

become further in debt. The more past due

your accounts are, the harder it is to get

them current. Plan out a monthly budget.

Figure out how much you can afford to

spend for bills and how much you need to

get by. For example, to save money, cancel

your cable TV and/or downsize your

cell phone plan.

All your credit cards are maxed out

I’ve got news for you. If you’re already

maxed out on all your credit cards, then

you are already in trouble. You had better

put a plan of action together to get yourself

out of that mess. Your plan should include

a way to pay off your credit card

debt while making smart decisions on using

future credit card use.

When problems occur, and they do for

most of us, stay in close touch with your

creditors. Call them immediately and realize

they have no interest in your financial

downfall. Harass them at least as much as

they will –without question– harass you.

Tell them your problem and tell them you

have a plan to resolve it.

If things are to the point that you are

in collections, you have an even bigger

problem. Collection agencies have the

legal right to call you from the hours of

8AM to 10PM in most states. Rest assured

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they will, and in states where it is legal like

Minnesota, they will call you at your job

and will call your neighbors too, if you try

to hide. When you are at the point that

the calls are regular and disturbing and

certainly not in the first 30 days of collections,

you could exercise your right to ask

them to stop. You can do this simply by

asking in a calm, clear, polite but distinct

voice, “To what address may I send my

cease and desist order?” Use those words

exactly; it’s important. The collector may

be reticent, but they are required by law

to supply you with an address. You MUST

then follow up with a simple letter telling

them to “cease and desist” their collections

activities, but you should also recognize

that they will only turn your account over

to another agency, another mark against

you will be recorded and the process will

begin again. But you’ll have a short period

of peace, and about 30 more days to

work on your problem.

Credit card counseling services are

available and if you are overwhelmed,

they can be legitimate options. But be

careful making your selection there as

well. Some creditors won’t accept solutions

provided by a not–for–profit counseling

service, and some for–profit services may

leave you in even worse straits when done.

Bankruptcy is the final option, and

while it may appear attractive at first, the

best viewpoint is to just say no. You’ll need

the lawyer’s fee up front, and no matter

how well they can do it, you won’t be well

situated afterwards. Laws have changed ,

and a bankruptcy could impede your future

purchases of a house, car, vacation,

education and a whole host of neat things

your future might hold for you.

Though it’s scary and easier not to

think about, once you do put a plan into

action, you will feel better about your

credit card debt. Only when you attack

it head–on, with no denial (and no retail

therapy to ease the pain!) will it finally

be resolved. And it will be resolved if

you work hard and amend your spending

habits for good.

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... flirting for fitness page 44

A Better Body

Whether it is the hot guy on the treadmill, or the too–cute

outfit you just bought, it all comes together with you looking

and feeling better than before. Just getting out and going to

the gym to look around is beneficial, because getting there is

the first step.

Check out the tanning salon; a few minutes of light can

brighten the dreariest of days. Visit the snack bar and try an

extra healthy, yet oh–so tasty fruit smoothie or a specialty sandwich.

It easily becomes habit to climb in your car after work, drive

home and celebrate your long day by eating your dinner while

watching the marathon of addicting television shows. But it can

be so exciting to rebel against your own routine … even if you

are watching those same shows while on the treadmill at the

gym.

dirty little secrets page 47

green thumbs, there are plenty of other quick fixes to this social

faux pas that you may have readily available. Bad breath stems

from your tongue, so a good idea in the future is to have a

tongue scraper (sold at many locations, such as Target) on hand

and some good mouthwash. Using the scraper, scrape your

tongue gently. Afterwards, rinse with mouthwash. The best remedy

would be to spare the two minutes it would take to brush your

teeth hastily first. If none of these solutions are plausible given

how insanely late or lazy you are, there’s a relatively new product

that can prevent you from offending the rest of society with your

post–martini–night binge–breath. There are individually wrapped

finger toothbrushes that you slide on to your finger to brush over

your teeth for a fast clean feeling. They are completely disposable,

and cost about three dollars a pack at local retailers.

Secret # 5: Checking your final appearance in the mirror, you

notice you’re your complexion is a little too shiny; Billy Blanks–

shiny. It’s too late to wash your face with your favorite cleanser,

so what alternative is there?

Your solution: If you had paid attention to Mrs. Receding–

Hairline in biology class, you would have learned that skin is oily

from the sebaceous glands overproducing oil. Thank the deities

that modern civilization has brought us rice powder paper tissues.

The organic rice used in these double–sided sheets absorbs

oil while being gentle to the skin. It doesn’t mess up your make–

up and is completely hypoallergenic, unless you are allergic to

rice, which would be quite unfortunate. No worries, though, we

respect our rice–allergy–stricken femme–fetales. For you, there

are Boscia Blotting Linens. They are made from 100% natural

linen, and come in a pack perfect for your purse. After blotting

with either the rice tissues or linens, you’ll be pleasantly oil–free

and ready to take on whatever task you are heinously late in

fulfilling.

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Amanda

tequila makes me naked

CHRISTINA LEVITZ

I

don’t consider myself a bitch. I’m a pretty nice

person all around. I do favors for people. I

listen to them when they have problems they

want to talk about. But sometimes, it’s like they

don’t have any common sense and I get a little

tired of hearing about it.

Take my friend Courtney. I love the girl to death,

but she can be pretty thick sometimes. She came

to me tonight in tears.

Apparently the girl just had her first one night

stand. I can relate. I’ve had a few of those myself.

I knew what was going through her head. So

I turned to her, “Oh honey, maybe sometimes you

want the relationship to work, but really… Do you

really think the guy is going to call if you do him

right away?”

“But he was sooo nice!” she protested.

“And you were wasted, weren’t you?”

“Well, I only drank five Red Bull–vodkas…” she

paused.

“Courtney! You know what those do to you,

when you drink… Shit happens.”

“I know, but I really liked him...” she trailed off.

“Let me tell you a story,” I responded.

“OK,” she sniffled.

“The first thing you have to know is your limit.

I’ve made some decisions when I’m drinking;

not saying that I meant for things to happen––but

here’s the thing; for me, tequila is a problem. Not

in the, ‘I want to drink it, it’s a wonderful thing,

let’s never stop’ way, but I’ve come to know, tequila

makes me naked. I drink it and I always wind

up naked. Maybe it’s the worm in it or something;

I just never make good decisions when I drink it.

“I used to be crazy in college. I was the girl that

you saw dancing on the table at parties. I wasn’t in

a sorority, because I thought those girls were sluts.

If that isn’t the crotch calling the armpit smelly, I

don’t know what is. Actually, I was a slut. And, I

learned from it, and made mistakes.”

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Courtney managed a giggle between her sniffles as

I continued, “My first one night stand was my freshman

year. I was at a frat on campus with my best

friend Amy. We were sitting at the bar a doing tequila

shots and I noticed a hottie down at the other end.

“Hey Amy,” I said as I nudged her.

“Yeah I know. I saw him; he’s been checking you out

all night.” Then, without skipping a beat–“His friend

is super hot, too…” she trailed off.

“I think I might hit on him; yep, I’m going to,” I said

as I set my drink down and gave her my ‘look at me,

I’m hot shit’ look. She rolled her eyes and giggled as I

turned around to face this lusty lad.

The tequila burning in my stomach fueled my appetite

for love. So I put on my best ‘sex me up’ eyes

and sauntered over.

“Hey you’re hot…. you wanna make out?” I offered coyly.

He said nothing, just motioned for me to kiss him.

I willingly obliged. It was steamy. He slid his hands

all the way up both sides of my body, following the

curves of my hips and breasts. My body instantly

flushed as his hands ended up on either side of

my face, his thumbs gently stroking the sides of my

cheeks. “Oh God, I want him,” I remember thinking.

It was the kind of passionate kiss I hadn’t had; I

yearned for more.

He paused and took a step back. A half–grin froze on his

face, and he licked his lips and looked me up and down.

“My name’s Zach,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m Amanda.”

He stepped back towards me and his hand caught

mine as he pulled me out on the dance floor. He

put his arms around me and drew me closer; his lips

just rested on my right ear. I could feel his breath as

he whispered slowly in my ear, “What are you doing

later?”

I leaned forward and nibbled his ear playfully.

“You,” I answered breathlessly.

He turned my head towards him and captured my

mouth passionately. He pulled the back of my hair

gently, but firmly, as he deepened the kiss. I melted

as he whispered again in my ear; “let’s get out of

here…”

We stumbled out into the night, clinging to each

other, stopping to make out every ten feet or so. Back

at the dorm he fumbled with his keys, dropping them

several times as he kept trying to kiss me. Finally the

door cooperated and we stumbled through it, tugging

at shirts all the while. He pushed me up against

the wall and deftly unhooked my bra, drifting from

my collarbone up my neck to my lips and back with

hot kisses. I shuddered in anticipation as he gingerly

picked me up and carried me to the bed.

We spent the entire night exploring, like two high

school kids discovering each other for the first time.

Groping hands and open mouths filled the night with

delightful pleasure. It was wild and unknown; and

we ended up passing out cuddled up together in his

bunk bed.

One of the few things I learned later in college was

that “a gentleman always lets a lady have the wall.”

When I awoke the next morning to attempt my first

‘walk of shame,’ I almost fell the six feet to the floor.

No gentleman here. Zach was less than accommodating

when it came to sharing his twin bed, and acted

like a total stranger the next morning. What an ass. I

had to find my clothes that were strewn all over the

floor alone, and never did find my bottoms. It was absolutely

horrible walking home. I had sex hair, makeup

streaking down my face, and I ran into a group of

high school seniors on a college tour with their parents.

I tried to hide my face, but it was so obvious that I had

become a party girl forced to walk home without an escort.

Courtney looked at me wide eyed and said, “that’s

what happened to me!”

“Honey, the point of that story is this: I didn’t know

that the next morning he would act like a complete

stranger and never call me. I figured that just because

we had sex, he’d call. But he never did. He didn’t even

ask for my number. Don’t expect to meet the man of

your dreams and find true love if you’re drunk at a

party. If you don’t want to be hurt, don’t do him on

the first meeting. You have to leave some mystery.

Yes, it was hot sex, but nothing else ever became of it.

So don’t expect love at first sight. Call me cynical; but

it just doesn’t happen.”

She nodded slightly and started tearing up again.

“Hey! You have no reason to feel like this, it was

a learning experience. You learned that one night

stands make you feel like shit. Honey, it doesn’t make

you a bad person; just a stronger one. Now don’t let

it happen again, because now you know what it feels

like, right?”

Courtney nodded and leaned forward like she had

a secret to tell. “Where is the craziest place you ever

had sex?” she whispered.

I giggled. “Oh God, you don’t even want to know!”

“Yes, I do!” she begged.

“Ok, well…”

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58

Appetite for Seduction

Kacie Moosbrugger

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” We’ve all

heard it so many times, the phrase induces eye–rolling and conjures

up an image of the perfect 1950s housewife, complete with

checkered apron and separate twin beds. But, separate sleeping

quarters are not usually what I have in mind if I’m going to be

cooking for a man.

Yet there is something to it; after all, clichés become clichés for

a reason. No man is able to resist a good meal. When you cook

for a man, you have control of all five of his senses. This power is

not to be underestimated.

Spicing up your love life

Aphrodisiacs have been used for centuries to enhance sexual

enjoyment and stimulate libido. Pure hype? Or is there something

to it?

There’s no question that certain foods affect us, both emotionally

and physically. Who hasn’t experienced the food coma after

Thanksgiving? What about that caffeine buzz after that triple mocha?

Then of course there is that sugar high – and then low – after

eating that second helping of birthday cake. So it seems logical

that we can utilize these effects to our benefit – and to our enjoyment.

This month’s recipe features an all–time favorite with the boys

– pork chops. Chicken breasts can easily be substituted, but I like

the texture and flavor of pork in this dish. With a warming, exotic

Eastern–inspired spice rub, this recipe will to be sure to whet his

appetite for sweeter endeavors later.

The rub contains Garam Masala, a traditional Indian spice

blend that includes cinnamon (known for relaxing, appetizing, and

warming effects), cardamom (breath–freshening and gas–relieving

properties – always a plus, right?), black pepper (increases cellular

oxygenation), and coriander (a mild stimulant). Cumin rounds

out the spice blend, adding an alluring smoky aroma and flavor.

Garam Masala can be purchased preblended in just about any

grocery store; if you prefer to blend your own, many gourmet or

health food stores offer spices by weight, so you don’t have to buy

separate jars of each ingredient.

As if the Garam Masala blend wasn’t enough, we’ve punched

up the aphrodisiac qualities by adding a few more flavorful components.

Ginger is famous for its ability to stimulate the libido,

and is recommended in ancient Ayurvedic texts. Nutmeg has been

proven in studies to increase potency in males, and even has mild

narcotic and hallucinogenic properties!

On the Side

Serve this meal with a simple side salad of leafy greens. Arugula

has a pleasing peppery bite, and has been used in aphrodisiac

concoctions for centuries. Drizzle with a little olive oil, a squeeze of

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fresh lemon juice, sprinkle with a couple minced cloves of garlic,

toss, garnish with chopped apricots and goat cheese, and you’re

done. Yes, garlic; it increases circulation, warms the body, and

has a dramatic effect on increasing the appetite. And if you’re

both eating it, the odor won’t be an issue.

If greens aren’t your thing, try a warmed pita or flatbread

dipped into garlic hummus. Chickpeas, the main component of

hummus, have been known since the 16 th century as a powerful

aphrodisiac. So much so that Dodonaeus, a Flemish botanist,

declared that they were not to be fed to scholars and priests.

A cocktail is always nice for relaxation. A hot hard apple

or pear cider with a cinnamon stick garnish is particularly nice

for warming up a cold Minnesota night; a chai tea with brandy

works well too. Or even just a simple soft red, such as a Pinot

Noir, would go nicely.

For dessert, get creative. Chocolate and strawberries are fine,

but what about dried figs dipped in honey? Any type of finger

food – especially dipped into something sticky, necessitating licking

is great. And an open fig is thought to resemble a woman’s

nether regions. Subliminal messaging, anyone?

This recipe is easy to prepare and requires little hands–on

time, leaving you free to entertain your guest. It is also light,

without being too filling – which is important, because we’re betting

that after you serve this to your man, you can expect to get

a little spiced up yourself!

“Exotically Spiced Pork Loin Chops”

1–½ lb boneless center loin pork chops, sliced to about ½ inch

1 t. Garam Masala

1/8 t. powdered ginger

1/8 t. ground nutmeg

1/8 t. cayenne pepper (or to taste)

1 t. salt

2 T. olive oil

In a small bowl, mix all dried spices thoroughly.

Sprinkle spice blend liberally over all pieces of pork (you should

have 5–6 pieces). Use fingers or the back of a fork to press the

spices into the meat. Spiced pork may be refrigerated for up to

4 hours before cooking.

Heat olive oil in large sauté pan over medium heat until hot,

about 2 minutes.

Place chops in oil and cook about 3–4 minutes without flipping;

you may rotate cuts if pan does not distribute heat thoroughly. (If

you are preparing the arugula salad, do so now.)

Turn the chops and continue cooking until done, about 1–5 minutes

depending on thickness of cut. Pork is done when outsides

are nicely browned and internal temperature reaches 160° F.

Let pork rest for 2–3 minutes before serving.

Serves 2.

Notes:

You may end up with leftover meat, but you don’t want to err on

the side of leaving him hungry! Leftovers taste great warmed up

with couscous or applesauce.

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If I can’t taste the rum in my Bacardi and Coke,

can I ask for more?

It’s OK to ask the bartender, nicely, to add a little more

liquor to your drink. Try to be playful with it. Say you had

a bad day or you’re “getting your drink on.” Smiling in

this circumstance goes a long way.

Ugh, the wine is way too fruity. Can I send it back?

Actually, no. The purpose of the sniff–and–sip is to see

if the wine is skunked or corky, not to see if you like it. If

you don’t, basically that’s too bad.

If I accept a drink from a random guy, what

do I have to do in return?

Nothing–you ain’t no ‘ho. A nice guy should and will

send the drink via the bartender so you may gracefully accept

or decline the offer. Drinks should only be accepted

via this intermediary to ensure nothing has been slipped

into your gift of a libation and invitation to a chat.

I don’t drink or don’t want to anymore; what

should I order and still look like I’m part of

the party?

Ask for a cranberry and soda in a tall glass. No shame

in that, and you’ll still look good.

Saloon Style

No need to be that nasty, noisy, beyotch waving money at the end of

the bar. Sit and sip with all the style that’s yours.

I need a drink and I need it now. What’s the best way to

draw the ‘tender’s attention?

In this situation, patience pays off; stand halfway down the bar and

catch the bartender’s eye. Then wait to be acknowledged and they will

make their way over. The biggest mistake is not to make eye contact and

just start rattling off your drink of choice. Remember, bartenders are people

too.

I need five drinks. Is it OK if I order them all at once?

Only if you’re going to pay for them all in one shot. It’s not OK to order

a round and then make the bartender wait while you split the bill. Try that

once, and you may not get served the rest of the night.

Do I have to tip the same for a bottle of beer as I would for

an elaborate cocktail?

It should all be based on price. Be ready for at least $1 a drink. If

you are in a swankier place, that jumps to $2. If you run a tab or order

a round, 20% is appropriate. Always tip for a free drink. Be sure of one

thing, though; every bartender knows how much every customer has left

and you might find yourself served accordingly.

shattered

Not for the Jane Plain

... a man’s world, page13

cities were now out earning their male counterparts, historically

an unprecedented trend. Yet statistics and study’s

confirm that one year after college graduation the average

female will only earn 80% of the income that their

male counterparts earn. Add another 10 years to that,

and it drops to 69% of a mans income. This stat may explain

why the percentage of woman married at 25, to the

percentage of women married at 35 increases to 85%.

Or maybe, deep down inside, the SYF longs to be a happily

married woman with a family and a career. It was

the women of the 1950’s that started the 2 nd Phase of the

Woman’s Revolution. They took off their bras and burned

them for the sake of their own daughters. This generation

of women looked around at the age of 19, and saw their

husband and children looking back at them. They became

seasoned mother’s and wives before reaching the

age now required to order a drink at the bar. If insistent,

and privileged, they were able to spend 4 years on a college

degree that would later be put use folding laundry,

and preparing dinner for their families. Thanks to the

generations before us, women have the opportunity to

make the decision of which they want; Family or Career,

and which order they want it in. By the age of 25, half

of the female population has decided to pursue a family,

and one quarter of those women have already received

their college degree. The other half of the female population

has decided to wait, and statistically they will wait

about 10 years. In those 10 years they will be making

their Grandmothers proud, exploring the world, challenging

its makers, doing what it is they truly desire.

The New Girl Order means good–bye to archaic limitations.

It means the possibility of more varied lives, of

more expansively nourished aspirations. It also means a

richer world. SYF’s bring ambition, energy and innovation

to the economy, both local and global; they simultaneously

promote and enjoy what author Brink Lindsey

calls “the age of abundance.” The Single Young Female,

in sum, represents a dramatic advance in personal freedom

and wealth.

shattered

Not for the Jane Plain

61


62

Deric Mickens: Model

Tyra Noir: Makeup

What’s Next?

Our next issue is in the works and in it you’ll find:

· Where have all the men gone?

Now that young women are a force,

we look at what’s keeping men – boys

· Be the woman on top!

get into the best position

· Panty dropping pesto?

this recipe is promised to drop your’s

Look for it in the mail

or, at your favorite advertiser’s location

Shattered Glam Magazine is seeking

interns that are interested in magazine

publication. We are looking for

motivated young individuals that have

high communication skills, excellent

organizational skills, and the ability

to submit detailed and accurate work,

often to tight deadlines.

Visit our website for full details.

Every day there is more focus being put on the well being

of our planet and the rising greenhouse gases. The

path to an eco–friendly lifestyle can be expensive, but it

doesn’t have to include the financial cringe. Simple and

inexpensive ways of doing so are available in most stores;

many will even assist you with the selection of your green

purchase. This has become more than a trend. It is an understanding

that we need to care for not just our home, but

also the planet on which we live.

shattered

Not for the Jane Plain

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