This Monk From India - The Divine Life Society

THE GURU COMES INTO MY LIFE
Ma Ananda Mayee Ma has been heard to say: “The One, assuming himself the shape of the
Guru of his own accord brings about his manifestation or becomes manifested...”
I remembered this one day when I related something which had happened to me to Swami
Abhishiktananda (Dom le Saux). I told him how one night I woke up to see a horrible monster with
evil eyes, long teeth and hands like claws stretching their long pointed nails to at my chest. But
before I had time to be frightened Chidananda had appeared and the monster vanished.
Swami Abhishiktananda said, “It is God himself who came to save you, and if you ask
Swami Chidananda about it, you will see that he is not even aware of what has happened to you.
God often acts in this way to those who love and who have surrender to Him. God, being invisible,
takes the shape of the Guru to come and help them but also to test them.”
As I write this I remember a test God sent me, a test I shall never forget. (The editors wish to
note the purely spiritual nature of this vision.)
I was lying on my bed, my eyes closed, when I heard a knock at the door. Without opening
my eyes I said “come in.” Though the door was locked and barred, Chidananda came in. I “saw”
him walk softly and silently toward my bed. I did not turn my head, I did not open my eyes. I just lay
there, feeling the peace of his wondrous presence. Everything seemed to be silence, time seemed to
stand still. An indescribable joy filled my heart. I had found the love I had always dreamt of, the
most unearthly love, the love beyond the realm of this earth-plane, the peace beyond words. But
suddenly, though I did not move, I “saw” myself getting up and softly turning towards him, and
made him understand that he must leave. He walked toward the door and I followed him step by
step. I opened the door and he went out. I closed the door quickly, putting my back to it as I stood
there shaking. I wanted to call him back...I was giving up the love I had searched for all my life. My
heart was breaking.
I heard his footsteps getting fainter and fainter, each one pressing on my heart. He went into
the street. There was still time to run to the window and call him back, but I stood there in my
terrible loneliness. I do not know how long my agony lasted when suddenly a great joy burst upon
me. Although all this was mental, my joy was as real as my sorrow had been.
I washed quickly and hired a taxi. The sun was just rising, red over the white snow. The
salutations to the sun that came automatically to me every morning came to me, but mentally, in the
taxi. The taxi driver had told me that no flower shops were open at that hour, but I saw a man
carrying two large buckets filled with spring flowers. I bought them all. The water and the earth
were dirtying my clothes, but I did not care. I was celebrating! I knew something most wonderful
had happened to me, but I did not know what it could be until Swamiji spoke to me a few minutes
later.
When I told him, he said, “Indeed this is most wonderful.” And showing the sleeve of his
orange robe, he added, “This is Maya, illusion. This body is Maya, but people do not seem to know
it. This is the greatest trouble we have, we Swamis. People get attached to us and they start to think
of reincarnations...So many imaginations come into their minds...It is the greatest hindrance on the
spiritual path. You are indeed fortunate.”
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