r Students - Vertigo

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EDITORS 

Mia BURNS 

Jason CHILDS 

Clare EVANS 

Felicity EVANS 

Akito HIRATA 

Stephanie KING 

Sarah MICHAEL 

Lucie ROBSON 

Ben SQUIRES 

Raj WAKELING 

EDITOR AT LARGE 

Fergus MUELLER 

ART DIRECTOR 

Dylan McINTYRE 

ART & DESIGN 

Samantha HORNITZKY 

Jethro LAWRENCE 

CONTRIbuTORS 

Kate ALLAN 

Elise ANNETTS 

Julian DIBLEY-HALL 

Dave DRAYTON 

Samuel EGAN 

Joshua FORWARD 

Jack JELBART 

Scott MITCHELL 

Felicity PICKERING 

Tristan SCHUMACHER 

Teresa TAN 

Alex VANNY 

Brett WATSON 

Jamie WYNEN 

ADVERTISING 

Stephanie KING 

WEb 

Chenxi MAO 

James MANNING 

WITH THANKS TO 

Rachael Durrant et al. 

Spotpress Pty Ltd, Marrickville 

COVER IMAGE 

“Catfish the Bottleman” 

by Teresa TAN P.16 

Published in August, 2010. 

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Editorial 

ask FErgus 

What’s on 

What’s happEnEd 

thE dEFamEr 

roadtEst busking 

Fantastic mr Fox 

gingEr pm 

strEEts oF sydnEy 

mountainsidE 

What’s oFtEn ForgottEn 

Vox pops 

War on War on drugs 

daniEllE Van camp 

incEption 

rEViEWs 

gamEs 

From an oFFicE bEarEr 

From thE prEsidEnt 

Vertigo is published by the uTS STuDENTS’ ASSOCIATION 

Proudly Printed by SpOTpRESS pTy LTD, MARRICKVILLE 

Email us at advertising@utsvertigo.com for advertising enquiries 

Vertigo and its entire contents are protected by copyright. Vertigo will retain reprint rights, 

contributors retain all other rights for resale and republication. No material may be reproduced 

without the prior written consent of the copyright holders. 

Vertigo would like to show its respect and acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the 

Land, the Gadigal and Guring-gai people of the Eora Nation, upon whose ancestral lands the 

university now stands. More than 500 Indigenous Nations shared this land for over 40,000 

years before invasion. We express our solidarity and continued commitment to working with 

Indigenous peoples, in Australia and around the world, in their ongoing struggle for land rights, 

self-determination, sovereignty, and the recognition and compensation for past injustices.

2 IssuE 7 VERTIGO 

EDITORIAL 

Fellow Students, 

I wish I could welcome you warmly back for another semester. I 

wish I could spruik to you the many advantages of a rich and varied 

involvement in campus activities. I wish I could speak to you of 

Spring, of renewal, of promise, of blooming and youth and creatures 

that chirp, and of how this semester will for sure be the semester 

you finally get a girl/boyfriend. But no. Instead, it falls to me, in my 

one private editorial as an indentured labourer for the Students’ 

Association, to fulfil a much grimmer and more serious duty. 

A criminal walks among us. This criminal moves silently, stealthily, 

tearing at the already ragged fabric of our community. Laughing 

and lying. Lying and laughing. 

I am talking, of course, about the cold-blooded fucker who last 

semester not only stole the communal stapler from the Building 2 

IT Desk, but then, seeing that they’d replaced it, waited until nobody 

was watching, and (I just know it was the same person) stole 

it again! As a result of which all of us who printed our assessments 

in that general area had to go trekking around in a panic trying to 

find a stapler elsewhere. And if that wasn’t enough, then we had to 

do it again when Stapler #2 went missing! 

Just who do you think you are, person? What makes your 

personal stapling needs so urgent that you would deprive literally 

thousands of your peers of their much needed staples? Or are you 

just such a merry fucking prankster, so busy chortling at your own 

goddamned pathetic little joke, that it doesn’t matter if nobody 

laughs with you? Or is it perhaps that you hate our freedom? 

Well, in semester two, up with this sociopath I shall not put. I 

am hereby, on behalf of the Vertigo team, putting out a reward notice: 

information leading to a positive ID of the culprit and the dismantling 

of whatever criminal syndicates he/she may belong to will 

attract a $50 cash reward and a full-page, handsomely airbrushed 

colour photo of the snitch, captioned UTS’s Favourite Snitch! 

Justice will be served. 

In the meantime, please enjoy Vertigo Issue 7. We have worked 

hard on it while you were relaxing, travelling, seeing Inception 

again, or losing your winter flub in preparation to attract that new 

boy/girlfriend. We are now tired. But herein you shall find an expanded 

version of our beloved Defamer section, poetry by Julian 

Dibley-Hall that’ll melt your face, a horrifying dystopian vision of 

our nation’s future under ginger leadership, and a scathing reflection 

on the awfulness of some movies you have quite stupidly 

been enjoying. And that makes us happy. Haggard but happy. 

Tallyho, 

– Jason 

LETTER TO ThE EDITORs 

CeASe And deSIST 

We read the recent article by Ben Squires 

referring to students being at risk of having 

“too much fun” in the library. We are deeply 

disturbed by this revelation and demand 

that this behaviour ceases immediately. If 

students continue to have fun—dancing in 

the elevator, writing on the walls in Create 

Space, drawing flowers on the Smartboard, 

looking at Facebook and drinking coffee in 

an armchair, gossiping in group discussion 

rooms or having a snooze in the silent study 

room—staff will no longer be able to enjoy 

these activities during working hours. In fact, 

staff are so disgruntled about students having 

fun, we’re considering returning to the 

previous regime described in Ben Squires’ 

nostalgic article. 

As for Malcolm Crawford, we remember 

him well, our inspiration and master. His 

shrine is in the staff tearoom and is worshipped 

regularly. 

Yours sincerely, 

– Blake liBrarians

DEAR FERGUS, 

Normally I wouldn’t go the library, but 

with the price of sand increasing daily 

(maybe this is something you could 

cover in your magazine?) I decided 

to trial books as an alternate form of 

ballast for my hot air ballooning. The 

idea was to replace the books with 

sand bags as soon as I could get the 

funds together, but several unforseen 

developments stood in the way of me 

doing so and now I have a whopping 

$40 fine to pay. If I can’t afford a bag of 

sand, I can’t afford to pay a fine. What 

should I do? 

– concerned, science 

dear Concerned, 

My father happened to be a hot air 

balloonist, and he always used to tell 

me, “Fergus, if there’s one thing I know 

about hot air ballooning it’s that pulling 

on this string makes fire happen and 

you go up.” I suggest you apply this 

methodology to your situation, and 

quite literally burn your problems to the 

ground. Remember, a library is nothing 

more than a flammable building. 

DEAR FERGUS, 

Next week my girlfriend is coming back 

from a year studying in Hawaii and I 

wanted to do something special for her. 

I figured I would cook her a nice dinner 

and it would just be something easy like 

a stir-fry, but I had the idea of serving it 

Some people find it difficult to read Ask Fergus, and they’re not only the illiterate and 

blind. For this reason it’s important to draw a distinction between Fergus Mueller the 

advice columnist and Fergus Mueller the soldier. What people tend to forget is that our 

editor at Large has come a long way from the young man who was court-martialled for 

supplying members of the Viet Cong with meat rations and shooting his commanding 

officer in the foot at point-blank range. 

with a plate of pineapple on the side as 

a bit of a joke. Which brings me to my 

question: would I be able to get away 

using the canned stuff or should I go for 

the real deal? The reason I ask is that 

I’m kind of on a bit of a budget at the 

moment and I’d be dicing the pieces up 

anyway. 

– curious, law 

dear Curious, 

I hope your girlfriend punches you in 

the face, takes all your money and 

leaves you for another man. Why? 

Because, the fact that you’re even 

considering this atrocity tells me that 

you are the lowest form of human life. 

Serve canned pineapple as a side and 

you draw a line in the sand you can’t 

step back over. 

DEAR FERGUS, 

I’ve spent the last two weeks housesitting 

for my parents and for the most 

part it’s going alright, except last night 

when I came home I noticed that I 

had left the front door open and the 

television, computer and several pieces 

of linen were missing. I was specifically 

ordered to guard these items, and the 

last thing I want is to be grounded by 

my parents, as I am 24 years old. What 

would be a good lie to get me out of 

this? 

– desperate, accounting 

Dear Desperate, 

I will refer you to the above-most question, 

and suggest fire as the solution to 

any problems you might be facing at 

the moment. 

DEAR FERGUS, 

An incredibly intelligent and good-looking 

Facebook friend of ours (who also 

happens to write an advice column for 

our university’s magazine) recently deleted 

his profile. We will admit we were 

not well acquainted with him in real life, 

and he has now effectively severed all 

ties with us. How can we re-establish 

what was sure to be a lengthy and fulfilling 

relationship, in the real world? 

– two distressed first-years, communications/global 

studies 

dear distressed, 

Look, you think I’m happy about this? 

You think I wanted to delete my profile? 

You think I like walking around in a 

big hat and sunglasses with a scarf 

wrapped around the lower part of my 

face so that no one can recognise me? 

The answer is yes. 

Got questions? 

Ask FerGus! 

AskFerGus@utsvertiGo.com 

VERTIGO IssuE 7 3

what’s on 

august 

4 IssuE 7 VERTIGO

what’s 

happened 

VERTIGO IssuE 7 5

since 

1882 

Student-Written Satire! Original PremiSe! 


The Defamer 75¢ 

FIFA UNVEIL 

NEW BALL 

DESIGN FOR 

BRAZIL 2014: 

THE SAMBA CUBE 

(continueD PAGe 12.) 

By Jamie Wynen 

Kaisa Ku was a studious, high-achieving 

year 12 student. But in a selfdestructive 

story worthy of a Chuck 

Palahnuik novel, the one-time 98.9- 

UAI student has received nothing 

higher than a credit for her first semester 

subjects. 

“Facebook became an addiction 

for her,” her mother Lau Ku sobbed. 

“She doesn’t even talk to her friends 

anymore—she ‘writes on their walls’! 

What does that even mean? Is she a 

graffiti artist now?” 

Kaisa downplayed her obsession. 

“I must admit, it’s a big waste of time. 

You refresh and you refresh and nothing 

really changes. Then one of those 

little red flags pops up and it’s like, 

‘Ooh!’, and you just have to click on it 

right away.” 

“Sometimes I think about deleting 

my account. But it’s become such 

a necessary social utility—today, being 

without Facebook is like being unable 

to speak English. Yes, it’s distracting, 

but we just need to learn how to manage 

it.” 

On hearing these addled words, Kaisa’s 

father has contacted a Facebookaddiction 

clinic to wean his daughter 

off the toxic networking drug. “Once 

wednesday, 4th of august, 2010 

Facebook Distracts stuDent From stuDies, Family crusheD 

an intelligent, outgoing teenager, all 

my poor baby can now babble about 

is groups, friends, and comments she 

finds online! We need to get our children 

off the keyboards and out into the 

real world. I don’t care how many photos 

you’ve been tagged in, time spent 

on Facebook is time that your child is 

not spending in real life.” 

We questioned Mark Zuckerberg, 

the social networking site’s creator, on 

the addictive and brain-rotting side effects 

of his product. He replied “How 

the fuck did you get in my house? June, 

call the cops!” Our reporters beat a 

hasty retreat. (Continued page 5.)

oil Fiasco 

to Family Feast 

By scott mitchell 

British Petroleum has been harshly 

criticised for its role in the oil spill disaster, 

which has so far accrued costs 

exceeding $3bn. However, there is still 

hope for the company to turn this supposed 

‘disaster’ into a profitable endeavour. 

Fast food conglomerate McDonalds 

recently contacted the oil company, 

proposing to assist with the clean up 

and put the decimated ecosystem to 

use. McDonald’s representative Keith 

Bromley commented, “this is a truly 

horrific situation. Firstly to BP’s profits 

and secondly to the Gulf, its ecosystem 

and all persons affected. We have, how- 

By Brett Watson 

Channel 9 has commissioned the production 

of a new series of the drama 

franchise Underbelly, claiming that it 

will be bolder and more corrupt than 

the previous three seasons put together. 

Underbelly: Mobsters of Macquarie 

Street will tell the sordid tale of the 

New South Wales Labor government, 

from the re-election of Morris Iemma 

right up to the appointment of current 

premier Kristina Keneally. Backroom 

deals, sex scandals, resignations and 

overdue parking fines will all feature 

prominently in the new show’s plot. 

“After several seasons of Underbelly 

we were fearful that audiences had 

grown accustomed to tales of sex, corruption 

and deceit,” said Channel Nine 

program director Gary Maher. “Dramatising 

the current NSW government 

provides a new level of farce that will 

shock and even appall audiences once 

again.” 

Although the project is still in the 

development stages, approaches have 

ever, conceived of a brilliant method of 

both removing the oil and the contaminated 

wildlife.” 

Mr Bromley’s plan proposes to 

mass process the sea life which has 

perished with the oil into a new line of 

McDonald’s deep-fried food similar to 

McNuggets. 

“Coincidently the McNugget was 

invented in a similar way, and look at 

its success now,” he said. 

Critics have panned the idea, highlighting 

the fact that crude oil is indigestible 

and somewhat poisonous, but 

Bromley remains positive. 

“A similar comment was made 

about the Colonel’s chicken until the 11 

secret herbs and spices were applied. 

All we need is a decent seasoning and 

we’re in business.” 

When questioned about the longterm 

validity of the new ‘healthy choices’ 

option, Mr Bromley commented that 

the Gulf should continue to provide the 

necessary ingredients indefinitely. 

nsW Government to star in neW season oF unDerbelly 

been made to some actors for roles in 

the show. 

“Cameron Diaz has been floated a 

possibility to play Kristina Keneally,” 

said casting director Susan Riordan. 

“Her American accent and the way she 

handled a weird wispy hairdo in There’s 

Something About Mary are real plusses,” 

Mr Maher said. 

The central roles of NSW Labor 

powerbrokers Eddie Obeid and Joe 

Tripodi are likely to be filled by Vince 

Colosimo and Nick Giannopoulos, 

despite rumours of the pair being 

blacklisted in the industry for their participation 

in the film, Wog Boy 2: Kings 

of Mykonos. 

In another new direction for the 

series, the gratuitous breast images in 

each episode will not be provided by 

a female character, but instead represented 

by the man boobs of Barry 

O’Farrell. Deputy opposition leader Andrew 

Stoner will unsurprisingly be the 

central character in the series’ customary 

illicit drug subplot. 

humphrey b. bear to 

replace GillarD as 

australia’s First bear 

prime minister 

By elise annetts 

Beloved children’s television icon 

Humphrey B. Bear is reportedly in the 

process of being groomed by the Labor 

Party as a potential replacement 

for the newly-elected Prime Minister, 

Julia Gillard. News that Ms Gillard’s 

popularity has fallen by a massive two 

percent has sparked intense speculation 

that the Labor Government is 

soon to hold another leadership ballot. 

General consensus within the party 

is that Humphrey’s long-time popularity 

with children is just the tonic 

to get the party re-elected. Humphrey 

has been entertaining Australian preschoolers 

since 1965, thus most voting 

adults will have watched him at some 

stage of their childhood, and Labor intends 

to tap into this nostalgia. 

Ms Gillard has remained tightlipped 

about the situation, but yesterday 

stated that she was previously 

unaware of Humphrey’s Labor Party 

membership. She went on to criticise 

the bear for his refusal to wear pants 

in public, claiming that he is in no way 

a suitable role model, or an appropriate 

candidate for the office of Prime 

Minister. 

Members of the public are outraged 

at Ms Gillard’s comments. Labor supporter 

Harry Thomson expressed his 

disagreement, “I think the tie and the 

showboat hat make up for his lack of 

pants. And the vest. The vest is super 

classy. Yes siree, that’s one bear who 

knows how to dress.” 

Humphrey has refused to comment 

on the speculation, instead choosing to 

mime responses when questioned by 

the press. Most recently the bear held 

up a poster of Julia Gillard, and proceeded 

to imitate stabbing her in the 

back. Former Prime Minister Kevin 

Rudd was unavailable for comment. 

VERTIGO IssuE 7 

7

Re-enactment of the moment of affliction 

let’s Get meDical 

are you affected By shug or shug-related 

illness? 

Shug affects millions of Australians 

each year. It is more than likely 

that you have encountered Shug in 

the last year, and quite possible that 

your health is still impaired by it. 

Shug occurs most commonly, although 

not in every case, between a man and 

a woman. Upon being introduced or 

greeting one another, one party will go 

for a handshake, and the other a hug; 

the result is a painfully awkward Shug, 

sometimes with up to six stuttered 

attempts to create a full hug. Shug is 

closely linked with Kug, the moment 

when one party goes for the plain old 

platonic hug and the other a kiss on 

the cheek. The combination of these 

two incidents is far greater than the 

sum of its parts; indeed, suffering a 

Shkug is one of the most traumatic 

social mishaps one can experience. 

Shug can take place anywhere, anytime, 

but there are common mani- 


festations and locales of Shug that 

one should be aware of. The Vaguely- 

Known Relative Shug, the Friend’s 

Mum Shug, the Mate’s Girlfriend Shug, 

and the Guy-Who-Likes-to-Hug- 

Other-Guys-Even-When-Not-Drinking 

Shug are all very common forms, 

however the worst form of Shug is the 

most prevalent and most unavoidable 

—the Funeral Shug. At funerals, the 

normal social discourse is displaced 

by an awkward, solemn, affectionate 

interaction; hence every individual 

you see is a Shug waiting to happen. 

The main health concerns with Shug 

are mental. A bad Shug can destroy 

confidence for a whole night, or even 

longer. If it is an introduction Shug, 

it can create a permanent umbrella 

of awkwardness over the two people 

involved and could even lead to further 

Shugs in the future, especially 

if one party infers that they have not 

been introduced and the other that 

they have. Physical effects of Shug 

With 

samuel eGan 

have also been recorded, such as tripping, 

blushing and spilling drinks. 

These physical affects, particularly 

the lattermost, tend to accentuate 

the psychological impact of a Shug. 

There is no real cure for Shug. The best 

option is to reflect on how awkward 

the situation was and try to be humorous 

about it, yet this is a controversial 

and often risky manoeuvre; many prefer 

to just pretend like the whole thing 

never happened. A far better approach 

is prevention. The best method is to always 

commit whole-heartedly to a hug 

(most probably with a cheek kiss, but 

not always! In the office for instance, 

the platonic hug is generally the best 

option), thereby eliminating the possibility 

of Shug (and/or Kug). The problem 

with this tactic is you may be seen 

to be overly affectionate or sleazy, or 

alternatively, you may seem European 

and sensitive. Outcomes will vary depending 

on your style and audience.

“FootbAll tAkes me mAny PlAces. Hot PlAces. 

colD PlAces. but i PrePAre For it All. in A colD 

PlAce, i will weAr sometHinG wArm. A jumPer, 

AnD trAcksuit PAnts. in A Hot PlAce, sometHinG 

liGHter. sHorts AnD A t-sHirt. mAybe sAnDAls. 

I AM CrISTIAno ronAldo.” 

Past Vice- 

chancellors 

in Profile: 

eDWarD pilGrim 

Year: 1989 to 1991 

Marital StatuS: single and sassy 

By Ben squires 

1990 was a year of great turmoil for 

UTS, and without the intervention of 

Edward Pilgrim our university might 

not exist as it does today. But, in the 

various scrolls and parchments that 

document the history of our university 

Pilgrim is not remembered as a hero, 

but rather a maverick sex pest. Why is 

this? 

Well, as mentioned above, 1990 was 

a year of great turmoil for UTS. A series 

of poor financial decisions, which 

included an unsuccessful attempt to 

increase attendance levels by integrat- 

from russia 

with loVe 

By felicity Pickering 

New information has broken surrounding 

the ten Russian ‘spies’ found in the 

USA, which has resulted in charges of 

conspiracy and money laundering being 

dropped. It has been revealed, that 

the assortment of Russian individuals 

discovered in early July across America 

were in fact not spies but a group of 

Russian tourists on cultural exchange 

with Russian company Russia Good 

Overseas Good Too Pty Ltd. 

ing androids into the student body to 

set a good example, had culminated 

in a massive deficit that not even the 

UTS Annual Bake Sale could cover. 

With UTS teetering on the verge of 

bankruptcy, sacrifices had to be made 

across the board, and as a result every 

spare piece of plastic was melted down 

and sold to orphanages as cheap bedding. 

This lack of polymers upset the student 

body, and by mid-semester break 

there was a major student morale 

problem. Vice-Chancellor Edward Pilgrim 

didn’t like what he saw and knew 

The CIA’s head of [can’t be disclosed] 

remarked today, “It seems, that 

the CIA may have made a few blunders 

while investigating this case. But 

I think no one should play the blame 

game. Whenever you see a Russian, 

don’t you immediately think they are 

going to blow the place up or that they 

are a mail-order-bride? Man oh man, 

I could go for one of those right now.” 

It is thought the confusion was 

caused by the monthly letters delivered 

to the Special People In Exchange 

Situations’ host families that 

were addressed to Russian S.P.I.E.S. 

When asked why the CIA didn’t open 

the letters to investigate further they 

explained that they considered opening 

other people’s mail to be a breach 

of trust. 

he had to take immediate action. But 

instead of taking the orthodox route of 

dismantling and selling the androids, 

he decided to stage the first annual 

UTS Love-In on the alumni green. 

After speaking with a legal advisor 

who was firmly against the idea, Pilgrim 

named a time and date and designed 

a flyer for the event. This was 

when things started to turn against the 

Vice-chancellor. Having already run 

through his printing budget, Pilgrim 

could only print around a dozen flyers, 

which is not very different to not 

printing any flyers at all. 

The big day came and Pilgrim 

strode out onto the alumni green, 

oiled-up and ready to go. Unfortunately, 

as he had advertised the event 

mainly using the ‘word of mouth’ 

method, attendance was so low that 

without Pilgrim there really wouldn’t 

have been anyone there. 

But Pilgrim wasn’t the sort of guy to 

let no one showing up to a love-in upset 

him and so he went ahead with the 

event anyway, employing the services 

of the androids to make up numbers. 

Out of pity and horror the debt collectors 

waived the payments, and UTS 

was back in the black. Pilgrim is currently 

serving a 30-year jail term for 

his actions. 


9


Road test: 

BUSKING 

worDs rAj wAkelinG

i get tired of hearing people carry on about the lack of 

talented buskers in Sydney’s Central Station tunnel. It’s easy 

enough to laugh, shove your fingers in your ears, or briskly walk 

on by, but are we so uncompassionate that we have to then 

head to class and whinge to our mates about it? 

Before you slag off Asian-puppet-man, or the over-zealouskeyboard-guy 

whose repertoire seems to consist entirely of 

female pop ballads, think about how awkward, intimidating, 

embarrassing, and downright demeaning it can be to do ANY- 

THING in a public forum. 

A singer by trade, I rocked up to my first busking gig with a 

dusty old saxophone, no sheet music and no neck strap. It had 

been seven years since I last blew a tune on that sax, and after 

this experience it will probably take me another seven years to 

build up the courage to do it again. 

Getting started was the hardest part, and I spent the first 

five minutes softly blowing warm air into the mouthpiece, 

vaguely remembering that was a good thing to do before you 

started playing for real. With my enduring photographer at 

the ready by the opposite wall of the tunnel, I already felt 

completely exposed to the judgmental eyes and ears of the 

morning commuters. 

I wasn’t even afforded the companionship of other buskers. 

Most had packed up and left following the 9am peak, leaving 

just me and didgeridoo-acoustic-guitar-man, who was all the 

way up the other end of the tunnel. 

There was nothing left to do but start honking. I worked my 

way up and down and up and down a C blues scale (the only 

scale I could remember, other than C major), throwing in some 

amateurish twiddly bits here and there, and occasionally letting 

rip with a high-pitched jazz wail that all too often ended in an 

even higher-pitched avant-garde squeek. 

I’m not sure whether it was the sheer embarrassment of the 

situation, or a vain attempt to convey some sense of emotion, 

but I realised after about ten minutes that I had been playing 

with my eyes closed the entire time. I broke the habit briefly, 

seeking out some eye contact with surly-trench-coat-man and 

thanks-but-no-thanks-hot-chick, before committing myself completely 

to arched-back, closed-eyes Kenny G mode. 

And then, from out of nowhere, came the sound that made 

the whole endeavour worthwhile, to the tune of three dollars 

and forty cents. I figured it was best not to sneak a peak at 

my satisfied customer—I didn’t want to ruin the vibe. Efforts 

validated, train ticket paid for, I decided to retire and leave the 

rest of the shrapnel to the real buskers of Sydney. 

So for one crummy blues scale across a measly half hour, at 

a slow time of the day, I made three dollars forty. At that rate 

I could have made $57.80 had I played for a full working day. 

That’s not going to get me lobster, but I wouldn’t go hungry if all 

I had to my name was my yakety sax. 

With that in mind, can we really begrudge those who do 

this everyday in the hope of scraping together a few extra 

bucks? Not to mention those who do it for the sheer delight of 

performing for anyone who cares to listen. . 


11


Fantastic 

MR Fox 

worDs Alex vAnny

there are the ‘true blue’ Aussies and there are the ‘city slickers’. 

But who knows the most about Australia? And how do we 

determine this? Today, being a master of the barbeque and the 

slab of beer is not enough to show the true Aussie spirit. 

Graeme ‘Fox’ Howard is a rugged man, covered head to toe 

in a seemingly random assortment of tattoos with a thick black 

beard. Cigarette smoke billows around him in the air as he 

talks, and a small pet parrot named Sunny pops her head out 

from under his thick jacket as if to say hello. In 1988, the year of 

Australia’s bicentenary, Fox was 33 years old and thought the 

world had reached its end. “It was a time when I was just sick 

of people,” he says. “I genuinely thought the world was going to 

end and when I returned to Byron Bay in 1989, I was very disappointed 

to see humans.” 

Fox had walked across the Nullarbor Plain (a huge, semiarid 

part of Southern Australia covering some 200 000 square 

kilometres), and back again, finally finishing in Byron Bay. Fox 

wasn’t too keen on humans at the time, yet he didn’t complete 

his challenge alone. He walked and camped for 365 days 

alongside six camels which carried drums of water, food and 

camping provisions. 

So how did this all come about? 

In 1988, to celebrate Australia’s bicentenary, a camel race 

was hosted by Australian millionaire Arthur Earle. Its mission 

was to “recognise the positive impact that camels had on the 

development of Australia and highlight the importance they 

had in exploration and transportation in central Australian 

deserts.” The race consisted of 100 individuals riding on camelback 

from Ayers Rock in the Northern Territory to Queensland’s 

Gold Coast. 

Fox had worked with horses all of his life and was a skilled 

and experienced horseman. Prior to the race he was asked 

to assist in the catching and training of 100 camels for the 

event. The camels were to be caught on the Queensland and 

Northern Territory border. Armed with a lasso and a big packet 

of jellybeans, Fox stood on the back of a four-wheel drive coaxing 

the wild animals before loading them into a nearby truck. 

“You have no idea how easy camels are to train. They just love 

jellybeans.” 

As a condition of Fox’s assistance, he asked for six camels 

to assist him in his adventure across the Australian desert 

after the camel race had concluded. They remained his loyal 

companions with the exception of one mishap; the camels left 

him stranded for three days in the middle of nowhere after Fox 

“smacked a naughty camel on the nose.” Luckily they returned 

for their beloved jellybeans, and the journey continued. 

Walking through the cool of night across the vast landscape 

and sleeping during the hot day, Fox lived on damper and 

muesli. His camels roamed the plains nearby as he rested, returning 

for their damper and jellybeans in time to depart again. 

The railway and the sea acted as Fox’s guide, preventing him 

from getting lost. 

He walked and walked, meeting tourists along the way who 

treated him occasionally to luxuries such as fresh fruit, vegetables 

and even meat. With two huge drums of muesli, dried fruit 

and flour, Fox made damper for breakfast, lunch and dinner, 

mixing in any extras he had caught, found or been given that 

day. His best friends were a warm fire, six brown camels and a 

railway line. 

“I saw how totally incompetent the British settlers must 

“You have no idea how easY camels aRe 

to tRain. theY just love jellYbeans.” 

have been to end up dying out here,” he says. “As soon as they 

ran out of food they had brought from England, they let themselves 

die instead of living off the land. There were plenty of 

birds and plants and safe drinking water out there. They didn’t 

use what Australia provided.” 

Following a lonely railway line across four Australian States 

and Territories, on foot, and accompanied by six camels is 

certainly a challenge. But Graeme “Fox” Howard, now 58 years 

old, would have had it no other way. Having really seen Australia 

like no other, Fox is full of knowledge and understanding 

about our great land and its history. A true traveller, Fox has an 

enormous appreciation for our land in all its fullness. 

Walking throughout central Australia, black, tangled 

dreadlocks hanging down his back with skin covered in grit and 

sweat, Fox may look different today. But his sense of adventure 

remains the same. 

Fox has just left for South Africa where he will be catching 

wild buffalo for a local program. . 


13

two thousand 

and eleven 

worDs kAte AllAn 

14 IssuE 7 VERTIGO

julia GillaRd’s appointment was not onlY a GReat leap 

foRwaRd foR women in austRalian politics, but an 

enoRmous stRide foR the otheR pReviouslY maltReated 

sectoR of the population: Redheads. what effect will 

this have on austRalia? how the hell am i supposed 

to know? what, You think we’ve Got a time machine to 

telepoRt contRibutoRs into the futuRe to comment on 

the chanGinG political landscape foR veRtiGo aRticles? 

the answeR is Yes. 

prime minster julia Gillard has dubbed the year ‘Crimson 

Eleven’. It doesn’t have quite the same ring as ‘Kevin 07’ but 

no one has the guts to tell that to the Prime Minster. Inside 

the newly-painted red walls of parliament house, Gillard pulls 

back a crimson curtain, running her fingers through her fiery 

locks and gazing out at her dominion. The buildings, footpaths 

and roads are all as red as blood. Each blade of grass, each 

leaf on each tree, has been painted burgundy. Swimming pools, 

dams and lakes have been dyed a more suitable colour, and 

the ocean is barricaded off until scientists discover an alternate 

method by which to transform its hostile blue. Even now, red 

food colouring does not come cheap. 

The cabinet has undergone a major overhaul, with Ronald 

McDonald impersonators, the actors who played the Weasley 

kids and Ginger Spice replacing most of the incumbent politicians. 

Along with this, a new portfolio has been introduced— 

Ginger Proliferation and Upkeep—for which none other than 

Julia Gillard’s partner, Tim Mathieson, is serving as minister. A 

former hairdresser, Mathieson oversees the systematic hairdyeing 

of the population. Those who resist are sent to The 

Electric-Red Chair, a device to which the victim is shackled and 

forced to undergo a lengthy hair treatment. The treatment is 

designed to transform the victim’s hair into a shade of flaming 

red so harsh that the human eye begins bleeding (a pleasing 

shade) instantly at the very sight of it. These outcasts of society 

are banished to uninhabitable tracts of central Australia with 

a week’s rations and a hand-mirror. Their rate of survival is 

unknown. 

The Arts have suffered tremendously under Gillard’s tyranny. 

The debate over whether Nicole Kidman is naturally blonde 

or a redhead has led to a ban on films starring anyone other 

than Lindsay Lohan, with a subsequent moratorium on film 

production until Lohan completes her custodial sentence. The 

music industry has fared little better as the already-overplayed 

Florence and the Machine dominates the radio waves, with 

occasional interludes from Rick Astley and his ‘80s hit, ‘Never 

Gonna Give You Up’. 

Multiculturalism is a thing of the past. Anyone with a complexion 

that doesn’t shrivel in the sun chooses to flee the country 

rather than endure the horrid clash of hair and skin tones. 

Leichhardt is a ghost town. The average diet consists mainly 

of vegemite sandwiches and haggis. On the bright side, the 

problem of population growth need no longer be addressed in 

a nation consisting entirely of red-headed citizens. 

Orangutans are integrated into the educational system. The 

alphabet and simple addition are not introduced in the syllabus 

until high school, as the orangutans must be rigorously trained 

to speak and interact. Gay marriage has not yet been legalised, 

but it is now perfectly acceptable for humans to marry orangutans. 

A brief scandal erupts when Gillard emerges from her 

office with an orangutan intern and stains on her blue powersuit. 

Mathieson stands by her in spite of the lascivious rumours. 

There is little that society can do to alter this bleak vision of 

the future, for the alternative could be far, far worse. Besides, 

doubt has been cast over whether the Leader of the Opposition 

would abolish the new policies at all. He appreciates the 

fact that his hair now matches his budgie smugglers. . 


15

obert #1 

Around Market City or in the country 

robert #2 

Around Market City or in the country 

TERESA TAN 

16 IssuE 7 VERTIGO

Teresa is currently studying Visual Communications. 

Her work aims to show “the world as it truly is, at its bleakest and truest”. 


catfish the bottleman (michael bevan) 

Corner Hay St and Thomas St by Market city 

campbell bannerman and his dog 10a 

Corner George St and Market St by Supre or QVB bus stops 

17

PHoto jetHro lAwrence

Mountainside 

(For tom) 

we met on the mountainside 

you and I 

told tales of journeys made 

dreamt of paths yet to walk 

slapped our thighs and cried to the moon 

drank cheap wine and swore 

wailed for the women who had cut us 

slavered over the women that still burnt us 

broke bread and cheered the cold night air 

wrapped in bear skins and invincible 

like Neanderthal man with his club 

we raged and ranted and watched 

we knew that this world was not ours 

knew that we were small but mighty 

knew that the songs we sang 

joined the songs of our fathers 

in the chorus of time to float 

morning’s new sun broke us, 

light through a prism 

casting vast rainbows 

onto the inside of our skulls 

where the Buddha smiles and nods 

laughs his hearty laugh for us 

amongst the annals of false fancy 

littered with the wrappers 

of our Dionysian reveling 

I loved you dearly that night my friend, 

we chewed the fat then threw away the gristle. 

–juliAn Dibley-HAll 


19

WhAT’S 

OFTEN 

FORGOTTEN 


will julia GillaRd continue austRalia’s policY 

of detaininG oR dismissinG RefuGees, oR will 

she take a moRe matuRe appRoach to the 

situation? felicitY evans looks into austRalia’s 

immiGRation histoRY and whY it looks as 

thouGh little is set to chanGe.

1788 (6 januaRY) - the bRitish beGin colonisation of austRalia 

1851 - the Gold Rush leads to mass immiGRation 

1901–1973 - white austRalia policY officiallY implemented 

1945 - wwii immiGRants beGin to aRRive in austRalia 

1988 - one austRalia policY pRoposed bY john howaRd 

1996 - pauline hanson announces, 

“i believe we aRe in danGeR of beinG swamped bY asians” 

australia is quite good at forgetting its history, especially 

when it comes to how each of us got here. To be quite frank, 

unless you are of Aboriginal decent, and therefore an original 

inhabitant of this land, you are an immigrant of sorts. Whether 

it was on a tall ship, dinghy, cruise-liner or in a cargo container; 

Australia’s diverse population has arrived here in all manner of 

methods. 

However, judging by the number of policies, laws and border 

protection TV shows on air, it seems that not all of us have 

quite come to the realisation that Australia is an island that was 

colonised, and that the vast majority of us landed here. 

So why do we continue to refuse refugees, asylum seekers 

and immigrants entry to the country? Are these people really 

‘queue jumpers’ or is Australia responsible for some far more 

sinister legal and immigration practices? 

Australia is a signatory to the Refugee Convention and Protocol. 

Designed by the UN, these laws are not enforceable, but 

provide a guide for sovereign nations trying to assess refugee 

claims and accommodation. 

Under this convention refugees are entitled to basic tenets 

of human rights as well as; 

• The right to seek asylum in a country outside their 

country of origin, which has agreed to be bound by the 

Refugee Convention; 

• The right not to be returned to the country where they 

have a well-founded fear of persecution; 

• Freedom of religion and movement. 

Australia, especially in recent times has breached almost 

all of these obligations. Not only do we declare these people 

‘queue jumpers’ and quite cruelly ‘boat people,’ we return 

them to war zones or lock them up for processing in detention 

centre. 

Maybe this is my simplistic, heartfelt opinion on the issue 

and perhaps you do not agree. The reality is, though, in almost 

all cases, these people are seeking protection from war, persecution 

and punishment. Hardly the story we have been fed in 

recent years. 

2001 - tampa affaiR, childRen oveRboaRd and siev-X sinkinG 

2001–2007 - howaRd’s pacific solution 

2008 - Rudd ends pacific solution 

2010 (apRil) - pRocessinG of applications fRom sRi lankan 

and afGhan asYlum seekeRs suspended 

2010 (julY) - julia GillaRd announces neGotiations foR 

pRocessinG plants in timoR leste and new 

new Zealand; anGeRinG the timoR GoveRnment 

2010 (julY) - tonY abbott announces policY to 

‘dRaG boats back out to sea’ 

And yet, despite its open involvement in two wars and the 

knowledge that hundreds more are being waged, Australia’s 

government has not yet realised that these ‘boat people’ have 

few other options left to them. 

Julia Gillard’s announcement that Timor Leste should be 

the next holding ground for refugees fell flat in Australia and 

had the Timorese Government up in arms. But was her plan 

just a miscommunication, or was it a breach of international 

conventions? 

Unfortunately, under the conventions of a refugee, refoulment 

laws, which forbid the returning of asylum seekers to their 

home country, are only eligible if and when a refugee arrives in 

a country. 

Despite these laws, Julia Gillard has announced plans to try 

and return Afghan refugees through a pact with their government. 

Only two have been returned since 2008, but such plans 

make you wonder about Australia’s commitment to human 

rights, international law and its international reputation. 

Julia Gillard shows no signs of changing Australian policies 

or coming up with a tangible, popular solution. Detention 

centres are an embarrassing blight on Australia, while trying to 

palm off asylum seekers is an underdeveloped and costly plan. 

That being said, anything would be better than the Coalition’s 

plan to drag illegal boats back out to sea and leave them there. 

Border protection is a dangerous and spiralling notion that 

the government needs to give up before it causes too much 

animosity in the world community. 

Refugee law is, like so much of UN policy, disappointingly 

unenforceable, something which the government continues to 

take advantage of. However, as a ‘free’ and ‘democratic’ country, 

it would be encouraging to see Australia take a long, hard look 

at its policies and the rhetoric surrounding boat people. 

As both sides of politics look down the barrel of another 

election, it is additionally disappointing that neither will move 

away from a docudrama-esque stance of naval intervention and 

border protection. At the end of the day, need it be said that 

Julia Gillard’s family came here from another country? . 


23

do you think that asyluM seekeRs 

(boat people) should be allowed 

into austRalia? oR do you agRee 

with the goveRnMent’s intention to 

send theM back to theiR countRies 

oR to detention centRes? 

voxes PoPPeD by 

Felicity evAns AnD Akito HirAtA 

PAnny yOkOPE 

I’ve been following this political issue on 

TV…I can see living in Sydney that it’s a 

multicultural country and a lot of societies 

come to live here. There should be 

some minimum kind of people coming 

in…the more people they take in—there 

must be infrastructure. Like, it’s a real 

pressure for Australia. 


VIVIAn yuE 

They could have dealt with it earlier, but 

it’s only been happening for around two 

years so they’ve still got a lot of room to 

improve. I think they’ve got a long way to 

go, actually. It’s kind of tricky. They could 

be [allowed in], but we would first need 

to have a look at other options that 

aren’t in Australia. 

AnAn BOOnIA 

So there are two sides you know. From 

a human side, an emotional side, they 

have to catch a boat and make a long 

journey and everything. But still I have a 

very mixed opinion. I think emotionally, 

yes, they should be given. If I think logically, 

there should be a proper channel. 

Having said that, bureaucracy can stuff 

up things, can delay a lot and so we 

could cut all the red tape and make it 

more efficient.

hAnnAh JEnkIns 

It’s not a black and white issue. It’s such 

a big new media issue and everything, 

and all the attention going to them 

coming here should, you know, perhaps 

be focused on why they’re leaving their 

own countries. We should find it flattering 

that they want to come to Australia 

as a safe and genuinely nice place. 

GAyAThRI JEyAsEELAn 

I reckon they should let them in because 

the main reason is they are actually 

fleeing from war-torn countries because 

they’re in danger and their kids can’t 

have a proper education and et cetera, 

right. So I think the Australian government 

should be able to consider it 

and people who are willing to make a 

difference in Australia should be let in or 

something like that. I am from Sri Lanka, 

right, and there are wars and people are 

living without education and shelter, et 

cetera. So I think it would be nice if they 

do let them in. 

hAROOn nAsIF 

I think they probably have to send them 

back because there are proper channels 

that people have to wait a few years 

[for]. Plus, the problem is the asylum 

seekers are coming from countries that 

don’t border Australia; they’re far away. 

If you’re from Iraq or Afghanistan, you 

have to go to the countries neighbouring, 

and so I don’t think Australia has 

the responsibility of keeping on taking 

people from everywhere. 

FRAncEscA JOEsOEP 

I think that the government has the 

right to protect its own borders but 

that they should try and be a bit nicer 

about it seeing as they are people from 

disadvantaged places and they’ve spent 

months at sea eating nothing. 

LucIEn ALPERsTEIn 

I think we should let all genuine refugees 

into Australia. Upon assessment 

of whether or not they are a genuine 

refugee and if they are genuinely seeking 

asylum, then legally under the UN 

convention we’re obliged to grant them 

entry. Making the journey from Asia or 

Europe is a huge undertaking and they 

deserve a Jessica Watson welcome. 


25

waR 

on waR 

on dRugs 

worDs serkAn ozturk 

the ‘war on drugs’ is not a war on objects, or substances. It 

is a war on some people who use some drugs. It is a war that 

tends to effect most heavily the sections of society (both locally 

and elsewhere) already battling with poverty, poor education, 

health concerns, and lack of opportunities. And it is a war 

that will never be won, if a global group of scientists, former 

world leaders, intellectuals and public health experts are to 

be believed. In July, members of this diverse group descended 

upon the AIDS 2010 conference taking place in Austria to 

deliver the Vienna Declaration: a call for evidence-based public 

health approaches to illicit drug use. 

Dr Evan Wood was one such person. He is the founder of 

the International Centre for Science in Drug Policy and a worldleading 

researcher at the BC Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS 

in Vancouver, Canada. Dr Wood suggests current illicit drug 

policies in countries like Australia, Canada, the US and UK continue 

to do more harm than good, and that it is time scientists 

and health practitioners begin agitating for widespread change. 

“The general population has been educated to believe that 

drug law enforcement protects against the harms of drugs and 

that there are no alternatives—and that health-based models 

will only worsen the problem. 

“This is why politicians can get elected on tough on drugs 

platforms. There is an ethical obligation for scientists and 

health professionals to correct this,” he says. 


To elaborate, Dr Wood points to countries such as Russia, 

where most new cases of HIV are attributable to heroin 

injection, and where the United Nations Joint Programme on 

HIV/AIDS estimates that more than 1% of adults aged 15-49 are 

already infected with HIV. Added to this health crisis is the fact 

that methadone remains illegal in Russia. Dr Wood is of the 

belief that safer injecting facilities—such as those that currently 

operate in Vancouver and in Sydney’s Kings Cross—despite conservative 

political pressure for them to shut, should be models 

that are extended to other metropolitan areas, where there may 

be large numbers of illicit drug users who use syringes. 

“In my mind, supervised injecting facilities are a simple 

extension of needle exchange programs. Needle exchanges 

are endorsed by the World Health Organisation because they 

reduce the spread of infections. There is also a literature to say 

that needle exchange programs can engage illicit drug users 

and offer them healthcare—although this is challenging because 

the contact is brief. 

“Safer injecting facilities are a simple extension of needle 

exchange programs that allow for more sustained contact with 

illicit drug users, which allows for more case management, 

which can help get them into treatment or other healthcare 

needs—and also are a structural intervention to promote overdose 

prevention onsite,” he says. 

Dr Wood suggests that winning community support on such

issues is tough, with scientists and healthcare workers forced 

to continually defend their actions despite the clear evidence 

of benefits to both individual users’ health, and public outcomes. 

One reason for community ambivalence and opposition 

towards services for drug users could perhaps be the continuing 

overwhelming media misrepresentation of drug users as 

deranged, or abusive when ‘high’. 

“A common misconception in the media is that drug users 

are violent and that drug intoxication is the primary cause of 

drug-related violence. The reality is that the massive profits 

created by drug prohibition are largely responsible for drugrelated 

violence,” Dr Wood says. 

In recent years, the frontlines involved in the ‘war on drugs’ 

have extended from Colombia to Mexico, while new, potentially 

lucrative running corridors have opened in West Africa, leading 

to tens of thousands killed as battles flare over illegal trading 

routes and territory. And, as the War on Terror persists and the 

bodies pile up, the poppy fields of Afghanistan continue to make 

warlords, corrupt military and government personnel, and other 

opportunists incredibly wealthy. The UN estimates the global 

black market trade in illicit drugs is worth $320bn annually. 

“There is little empirical support for the war on drugs,” Dr 

Wood claims. “International surveillance systems clearly show 

that, for most drugs, the price has gone down and the purity 

has gone up despite increasing investments in drug law enforcement 

and ever greater numbers in prison. 

“In circumstances where this is not true, this is usually 

explained by newer drugs with higher market potential (for example, 

the shift from heroin production to methamphetaminetype 

stimulants) rather than a consequential impact of drug 

law enforcement. Drugs are freely available in prisons, which 

indicates that drug law enforcement will never keep drugs out 

of the community. 

“With one in nine African-American males in prison (aged 

24 - 35) on any given day, there are obviously groups that suffer 

most under the war on drugs—especially when you consider 

that ethnic groups use drugs at a similar rate in the US,” Dr 

Wood stresses. Such patterns of incarceration repeat in 

countries like Australia, where the indigenous population and 

peoples belonging to non-Anglo immigrant groups are overrepresented 

in gaols for drug-related crimes. 

Dr Wood believes that the ever-increasing privatisation of 

prison systems in first-world countries is cynically linked to drug 

policies. Current laws supply a ready-made client base: those 

who use drugs deemed illicit. 

“With so many people in prison, especially in settings where 

prisons are privatised industries, and law enforcement budgets 

now heavily reliant on drug enforcement funding, there are 

forces in society that will obviously seek to maintain the status 

quo,” he says. 

What would happen, then, if illicit drug users were decriminalised, 

or if the use of illicit substances was regulated? 

Dr Wood believes not much would change in terms of the 

numbers of people using certain substances. 

“There is no strong evidence that drug law enforcement 

patterns within a country affect a country’s prevalence of drug 

use, and there is little evidence that changing drug strategies 

will increase drug use. For instance, Portugal has decriminalized 

drug use but still has among the lowest rates of drug use in the 

European Union. 

“The likely health and social benefits of employing public 

health and evidence-based prevention and regulatory tools to 

address the illicit drug problem are likely similar to what has 

been achieved with tobacco prevention,” Dr Wood continues. 

“Obviously, the success with tobacco is largely based on the 

properties of tobacco and each drug will require specific tools 

to address its harms. 

“politicians can Get elected on touGh on dRuGs 

platfoRms. theRe is an ethical obliGation foR scientists 

and health pRofessionals to coRRect this” 

“Research is still needed to define exactly what these tools 

are. In terms of downsides, there is always potential that an 

innovation could have unintended consequences, but we are 

arguing for evidence-based policies which by definition require 

ongoing impact assessment and revision if they do not achieve 

their intended effect.” 

Perhaps the last word, though, should be left to Professor 

Ernest Bishop—a forerunner to Dr Wood and others involved 

with the Vienna Declaration. In 1919, Professor Bishop saw it fit 

to write an article for the American Journal of Public Health on 

newly established US drug laws that would, in time, become 

the replicated model for most other nations around the world. 

The good professor concluded: 

“The worst evil of the narcotic situation in the past few 

years, and especially since the enforcement of restrictive 

legislation without provisions for education and adequate treatment, 

is the rapid increase and spread of criminal and underworld 

and illicit traffic in narcotic drugs. This exists because 

conditions have been created which make smuggling and street 

peddling and criminal and illicit traffic tremendously profitable, 

and it would not exist otherwise.” 

Almost a century later, Professor Bishop’s clear-eyed pontificating 

remains sadly all too relevant. Now, however, it’s a global 

problem. . 


27

danielle 

van caMp 

while veRtiGo is not a fashion maG, we fiGuRed that uts 

has some of the most stYlish students aRound and that 

maYbe, just maYbe, these beautifullY dRessed people 

miGht not onlY like dRessinG beautifullY, but ReadinG 

about it too. so claRe evans inteRviewed fashionista 

and foRmeR uts student danielle van camp about 

inspiRation, cReation and what it’s like to have dolce 

and Gabbana as neiGhbouRs. 

28 IssuE 7 VERTIGO

Hi danielle! How are you feeling today? 

A bit on the cold side but snuggly, I have my woolly socks 

on and am getting cosy with a hot water bottle! 

Can you believe it’s nearly half way through 

the year already? 

Uh NO! It blows me away that it’s almost June, it’s 

completely absurd!! 

How’s 2010 been for you? 

2010 has been unbelievable, I’ve been shown a lot of 

support and have met some really special people. It’s an 

exciting time. 

Has there been a highlight? 

I can’t go past winning the InStyle Woman of Style 

scholarship, it was such a beautiful night…but really, 

everyday doing what I love and challenging myself is a 

crazy, wonderful adventure. It’s so nice to have finished 

studying and to be putting what we’ve learnt into practice. 

How was L’Oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival? 

LMFF was an incredible opportunity…Having my work 

shown on such a professional platform and really being 

included in the process leading up to the show was 

invaluable…I also got a lot out of the industry talks from 

people like Linlee Allen and Tony Glenville, and the 

opening party was unreal. 

What inspired your latest collection of clothing? 

The one I am currently working on is an enquiry into twodimensional 

sketched shapes and subconscious thinking. 

It’s an idea I’ve always been curious about and the design 

process I’m playing with compliments the abstract way 

I tend to approach things. My last collection was more 

controlled. It was inspired by my exchange year in France 

and looked at imported identities, reinvention and mythmaking 

within Paris fashion houses. 

do you think you learnt anything (anything!) 

useful at UTS? 

Absolutely, I did a double degree (fashion and international 

studies)…you cant help but learn, each assessment teaches 

you a new way about approaching things, about what not 

to do, what works...about thinking critically. Having said that 

you also learn inordinate amounts on the job… 

Is it too ridiculous to ask your fondest memory 

of the place? 

My brilliant tutor Armando, and the comradery between 

my classmates! 

What inspires you? 

Feelings, expression, paintings, techniques… 

Favourite place in Sydney? 

I always like exploring new places like Cabramatta… but 

I love spending time in Chinatown, Five Ways and the 

bookstores around Paddington. 

Favourite place in the world? 

I’m completely enchanted by Morocco and the people 

there, and Stromboli, where my mother’s family came 

from...it’s an exquisite volcanic island off Sicily, Dolce and 

Gabbana are our neighbours! 

Where would you love to be, career-wise, in five 

years time? 

I’d love to be in Paris working for a large fashion house, 

doing little capsules under my own name and collaborating 

on creative projects all around the world! Ambitious 

much?! 

Got any secret projects coming up we should 

look out for? 

Things are always popping up—maybe keep an eye out on 

daniellevancamp.blogspot.com. 

Any advice from the outside? 

Intern. It’s priceless and really gives you a sense of the 

industry and what’s involved. 


29


Feature revieW: 

inception 

worDs Akito HirAtA 

film 

After first seeing The Matrix back in 1999, American filmmaker 

Darren Aronofsky left asking, “What kind of science fiction 

movie can people make now?” It was as if the sci-fi genre had 

reached its creative peak, as though every one of its darkest, 

previously unexplored corners had been blown up with 

the daring suggestion that we might be living in a computer 

simulation. Aronofsky felt that “suddenly Philip K. Dick’s ideas 

no longer seemed that fresh.” And indeed, he was not alone in 

expressing such concerns. 

Yet, in the ten-plus years that have now passed, we have 

seen sci-fi’s development and it thankfully renders Aronofsky’s 

remarks premature. Gems like Children of Men and Sunshine 

showcased new talent and Oscar-winning potential for their respective 

creators Alfonso Cuaron and Danny Boyle. Then there 

are the more recent debuts of Duncan Jones’ Moon and Neill 

Blomkamp’s district 9, both stunning and original in their own 

right. And, somehow, it doesn’t feel quite right to forgo Avatar. 

This year’s sterling addition to the canon of sci-fi is without 

question Christopher Nolan’s Inception, an ingenious actioner 

that blends exhilarating special effects with the same conceit 

from which all great sci-fi works are born; the paradoxical question 

and answer to, “what if?” 

In the film’s earliest and most visually gripping sequence, 

Leonardo DiCaprio insightfully observes that “Dreams feel real

while we’re in them. It’s only when we wake up that we realise 

something was actually strange.” These are wise words for his 

listener, college student Ariadne, a role in which Juno’s Ellen 

Page was expertly cast. She serves as a surrogate for the audience, 

speedily swept into the dangerous machinations of Dom 

Cobb (DiCaprio) which force her further and further away 

from her own reality. Cobb is called, by himself and others, the 

Extractor—a fitting euphemism for a criminal mastermind who 

steals from the dreams he enters. 

The fiendishly intricate workings behind this dream-hacking 

method run the risk of exhausting the audience’s intelligence. 

Put in the hands of a director less experienced or talented 

than Nolan and the first half of Inception could be as uninspiring 

as your high school biology class on plant-cell structure. 

Nolan, however, has a knowing way of engaging our intrigue, 

allegorising the labyrinth of the subconscious. And, in any case, 

this is all a brilliant plot device, a clever excuse for some riveting 

and genuinely thrilling effects. 

We are plunged into a time warp with Cobb and his team, 

whose chief purpose by now is not to steal but rather to 

implant an idea in the mind of Mr Fischer (Cillian Murphy). 

With each layer of reality or unreality scraped away, temporal 

dislocation sets in and the stakes get higher with every passing 

second, our tortured hero risking eternal psychic imprisonment 

for a second chance. The romantic subplot of his lost wife Mallorie 

(Marion Cotillard) evokes much pathos, and gives reason 

for the audience to forge an emotional connection with DiCaprio, 

who is in top form to lead one of the slickest casts all year. 

The film sources much of its originality from its dreamwithin-a-dream 

device. However, as audiences know, this is 

not something new or unique to Nolan. The scene in which 

Ariadne finds herself in a shared dream with Dom perhaps best 

invites comparison with The Matrix and its long line of imitators. 

Nevertheless, Inception works on many levels. It’s a vividly 

dream-like chess game which feels as though Asimov could 

have written it. And whilst this review has placed it squarely 

within the confines of sci-fi, knowing that the Godfathers of 

the genre would be proud, non-sci-fi fans will get a kick out of 

it too. After all, Nolan has made his name in large part on his 

unfailing ability to hold our attention with suspense. 

Do yourself a massive favour, even if it’s only to say that 

you’ve seen a film this year that is not a sequel, remake or 

adaptation, and go watch Inception. The IMAX is heartily 

recommended. 


31

MUSIC 

FuRThER 

The Chemical Brothers 

The Chemical Brothers are famous for their big beats, their 

pounding dance floor hits and their anthemic choruses, but the 

latest offering from the UK electro legends is a little different. 

More psychedelic than their previous releases, the album’s 

eight tracks feel like a journey from the orbital to the nautical. 

The album is broken up into three sections—the opening three 

songs feel like outer space, the next four tracks are like re-entry 

and landing on earth and the final track plunges us into the sea. 

The album begins with what sounds like space transmissions. 

Beeps and boops are accompanied by static and the odd 

ambient sound. An angelic voice rises above the soundscape 

singing, “Your love keeps lifting me higher”, and slowly, patiently 

the song builds and builds until it seamlessly turns into the 

second track, ‘Escape Velocity’. The albums longest track by far, 

‘Escape Velocity’ is also the most adventurous and interesting. 

Clocking in at eleven minutes the song has an impressively 

patient build-up before exploding out into an expansive trip 

through space. They know how far they can push each section 

and they push them to the edge, with one of the build-ups so 

full of deep fuzzy bass, it is literally breathtaking. 

The second half of the album is closer to the classic Chemical 

Brothers sound but there is nothing old here. ‘Horse 

Power’ is a pumping dance-floor track but I get the feeling that 

the Brothers were feeling cheeky when they sampled a horse 

neighing over the chorus. It’s a nice touch, and one of many 

signs in this album that this pair are supremely confident in 

their musical abilities and deservedly so. 

Further takes the Chemical Brothers into new territory 

and it pays off. Not as instantly catchy as some of their earlier 

albums, Further becomes more rewarding each time you hear it. 

– Julian DiBley-Hall 


film 

sOuTh sOLITARy 

The latest picture from Caméra d’Or-winning director Shirley 

Barrett, South Solitary opened the Sydney Film Festival in June 

this year. I must confess, when I saw the film I couldn’t help 

but wonder why such a low-key, quaint feature headlined a 

film festival, which apparently values “audacious” and “cutting 

edge” filmmaking above all else. The Australian director’s film, 

about the plight of 35-year-old Meredith Appleton (Miranda 

Otto) who, along with her petulant uncle George Wadsworth 

(Barry Otto), arrives upon the cold and unforgiving shores of 

post-WWI South Solitary Island, is indeed far too quiet to be 

weighed down by such expectations. 

Barrett’s film is traditional, slow-burning and almost reluctant. 

Back-stories are hinted at as Meredith engages with the 

curious characters that live on the island in the shadow of 

a dramatic lighthouse, but nothing is revealed outright. This 

is a film which lives in pauses, expressions and internalised 

emotions, and Otto’s Meredith, along with love-interest Mr 

Fleet (Marton Csokas), perfectly captures this subtle style 

of storytelling. That said, I fear Barrett’s attempt to gradually 

forge a multifaceted relationship between Meredith and Fleet 

is somewhat undermined by an overly jaunty score. Unfortunately, 

in a richly layered character piece such as this, in which 

complexity of plot takes a back seat, there really is no room for 

that kind of incongruity. Structurally, the film feels as though it 

is divided into two parts, and because we’re never quite able to 

tap into the characters at the level Barrett seems to strive for, 

the film feels rather long at 120 minutes. 

Issues aside, performances from Csokas and the two Ottos 

are delightful, and, combined with beautiful art direction, 

costuming and stunning cinematography, they more than make 

this film worth the price of admission. 

– TrisTan scHumacHer

LIkE A FIshBOnE 

When two women are placed in opposition and forced to 

battle out their beliefs, anything can happen. Like a Fishbone 

takes the audience to the limits of their emotional and ethical 

boundaries, making the overall experience as a viewer a demanding 

one. Playwright Anthony Weigh has removed any male 

presence from the scene, leaving the raw and moving emotion 

of the females to propel the play forward and through the 

absence of men, question the role of patriarchy in our assumptions 

of positions, roles and power. 

An architect and a mother are brought together by the 

tragedy of a school massacre, and while the audience can empathise 

with both characters on some level, neither is particularly 

likeable; however, the actors (Marta Dusseldorp and Anita 

Hegh) provide a convincing performance, and it is easy to enter 

the realm of the office setting along with its pain and suffering. 

For an 80-minute play to tackle the themes of religion, life, 

death, past and future is somewhat over-ambitious, and as a result 

the play occasionally loses its cohesion. Death sits bluntly 

at its centre and the omnipresence of the slaughtered daughter 

shadows every question, thought and word. 

Without social boundaries, the two characters become lost 

in their emotions, questioning where the confines of humanity 

lie. Both are limited in their perspectives, and while the mother’s 

physical blindness is representative of this, the architect’s 

metaphysical blindness is apparent in her lack of comprehension 

and compassion. 

Just like a fishbone, the memorial of the massacre is stuck 

in the throats of these women’s lives, brooding in the present, 

over an idea in the future, in order to remember the past. This 

is a confronting, challenging play that asks plenty of questions, 

but in no way seeks to answer them. 

– mia Burns 

film 

ThE RunAwAys 

The Runaways is being called an “exaggerated account” of the 

explosive rise and fall of the eponymous girl-punk band, who 

(we’re told) changed rock and roll in a few months; feminised 

it, but more probably were just exploited by it. It stars Dakota 

Fanning and Kristen Stewart of Twilight fame. “Exaggerated 

account”, we may presume, means something like “based on a 

true story,” which this film is, obviously. It’s based specifically on 

Cherie Currie’s memoir, neon Angel, which I have no reason to 

suspect is less truthy than any other ex-junkie-pop-star’s biography. 

But exaggeration notwithstanding, it’s hard to say how fast 

and loose this film plays with the actual story of The Runaways. 

Sure, at times it feels a bit like Hannah Montana Does Cocaine, 

but it can also be surprisingly un-dramatic, or more specifically 

anti-narrative. There are no character types, even the plainly 

villainous Kim Fowley (the band’s Ziggy Stardust-meets-Terry 

Richardson producer), has a few sympathetic moments. Which 

is good. The film feels real, but it also means it can be unengaging 

and slow; it sort of ambles towards the girls’ inevitable 

demise. 

So thank god it was directed by someone with the good 

sense to shoot it and score it sexily. It’s actually the directorial 

debut of Floria Sigismondi, who is a renowned and talented 

photographer and music video director. The film is at its best 

when it’s vivid, loud and brash, which is a lot of the time, and 

that means that if you like ‘70s punk, and have even a passing 

interest in The Runaways, you’ll enjoy this film very much. 

Probably. 

– Jack JelBarT (wiTH FeliciTy evans) 


33

A cOuPLE OF POOR, POLIsh-sPEAkInG ROmAnIAns 

newtown Theatre Until August 7 

Back for its second run, Alice Livingstone’s A Couple of Poor, 

Polish-Speaking Romanians is chaotic, funny, and horrifically 

depressing. 

The comedy is black, no milk, but with one sugar. The laughs 

are easily coaxed from a boisterous audience who appreciate 

the rapid-fire one-liners and punch lines of Maslowska’s script. 

Gemma-Lark Johnson has captured the desperation, hysteria, 

and loneliness that are so central to the script in her set 

design: a bleak road-side shoulder, littered with old tyres, that 

stinks a little bit of Wolf Creek, and adds a sinister undertone 

to the performance. 

The seating at the Newtown Theatre gives the feeling of a 

live studio audience in a sitcom, and as the actors took turns offloading 

joke after joke I felt as though I wouldn’t be surprised to 

see a luminous APPLAUSe sign light up above our heads. 

Half an hour in, and unable to shake the feeling that I was 

part of a live studio audience, it became a question of longevity 

and, sadly, there was little progression on the strong opening. 

The jokes were re-hashed, characters’ accents began to falter, 

and then came and went without any significant justification, 

and by the time we reached the climax of the performance its 

emotionally draining substance felt out of place and unjustified, 

given the comic journey we had so far witnessed. 

Just as the jokes begin to feel over-used, so too do the extras. 

By the end of the performance Kim Knuckey, Neil Phipps, 

Sandy Velini, and Cheryl Ward have each played at least three 

roles. While the execution of these costume changes and their 

commitment to character was flawless (special mention to Kim 

Knuckey’s passive-aggressive ‘Driver’ character), it seems unnecessary 

and distracting to have so many characters in a play 

that is essentially about the loneliness being experienced by 

the two central characters, Parcha and Dzina. 

– Dave DrayTon 


MUSIC 

TRAsh TALk 

eyes & nines 

Back in Vertigo Issue 6, Samuel Egen took on the mammoth 

task of dissecting punk music, documenting its rise, evolution 

and commercialisation, and reviving one of the music world’s 

most unanswerable questions—is punk dead? In a frenzy of raw 

and abrasive aggression, Sacramento’s Trash Talk are here to 

answer that question with an uncompromising “FUCK NO!” 

These guys have been labeled, or perhaps written off, as 

a hardcore band. Sure, they scream their lungs out and play 

heavily distorted guitars at blistering speeds, but to lump Trash 

Talk in with the current era of slickly produced and breakdown 

laden hardcore is a mistake. 

eyes & nines sounds like it was recorded in about a day, 

and by all accounts, it probably was. Clocking in at just 18 

minutes, Trash Talk have delivered an album of blistering speed 

that recalls the early work of punk overlords The Dwarves, with 

production values akin to those of Minor Threat. These guys 

will get into your head, throw some chairs around, light the bar 

on fire and then get the hell out again before you realise your 

eyebrows are missing. 

A good live performance goes a long way in the world of 

hardcore, and these guys have it in bucket loads. It’s violent, 

fast, forgivably sloppy, and just dangerous enough to make 

you flinch when any of the band members gets a bit too close. 

On record none of this means very much, so the best you can 

hope for is a snapshot of what it might sound like to be at a 

Trash Talk show. Here the band and producer Joby J. Ford 

have done a better job than most, letting the music scream for 

itself. 

Certainly not for everybody, but if you love a good mosh 

around your bedroom now and then, these guys are sure to 

wear you out. 

– raJ wakeling

Josh talks FilM 

worDs josHuA ForwArD 

the only thing less original than the films coming out of Hollywood 

these days is saying “there’s nothing original coming 

out of Hollywood these days”. We can whinge all we like, but it 

doesn’t change the fact that brilliant films like I Am Love are a 

dime a dozen amongst all the Cats and dogs 2: The Return Of 

Kitty Galores of this world. It seems ridiculous to suggest that 

this is due to people running out of ideas, as there are a hundred 

million ideas they can use even before resorting to the 

inevitable biopic of Susan Boyle. So why the lack of originality? 

It’s fun to blame Hollywood. They’re rich and make films 

for money instead of artistic integrity. Right? Well firstly, egad 

man! Do you bring whingy customers their coffee in dedication 

to the bean? No. Of course it’s to make money. Secondly, 

and relating to point number one, these ‘unoriginal films’ make 

money because…We see them. The current box office top ten 

in Australia features six sequels, two remakes, leaving two films 

that are ‘original’. One of them is about an oversized mischievous 

talking dog and features the vocal talents of Stacey “Fergie” 

Ferguson. The other is Animal Kingdom, the token good 

Australian film this year (unsurprisingly beating out Wog Boy 2: 

The Kings Of Mykonos). 

Animal Kingdom has so far grossed $3.6m dollars in Australia 

after numerous weeks in release, which isn’t bad, but compare 

that to Twilight: eclipse which made $13m in its opening 

week. In fear of turning this into an anti-Twilight rant, no further 

comment will be made. The fact of the matter is people want 

to see sequels (and Robert Pattinson’s hairy nipples, for some 

reason). It’s like catching up with old friends and seeing what 

they’re up to. In such a risky economic climate, it’s far safer to 

ship out a sequel to a film that’s a proven financial success. Furthermore, 

sequels require much less costly pre-production with 

actors, plots, and sometimes sets and costumes already there. 

Coming up there’s Scream 4, Indiana Jones 5, Cars 2, Mon- 

sters Inc 2, Ghostbusters 3, Avatar 2, The Hangover 2, Kung Fu 

Panda 2, Saw 7: The Traps Come Alive in 3d (actual title). The 

list is endless, but before we get our brows all furrowed lets be 

honest—how many of the films just listed do you actually want 

to see? Scream 4’s existence is probably entirely unnecessary, 

but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s going to be awesome 

regardless of the films actual quality. 

People are welcome to be less forgiving when it comes to 

remakes. They are laziness in filmic form. And not just on the 

filmmakers’ side, but on the audience’s too. When word got out 

that the nightmare on elm Street remake released this year 

sucked, did they say, “Ok, well I’ll stick to the original”? No. 

People still saw it. It’s cheaper to go hire the old one. There is 

certainly a level of curiosity to see what they’ve done with it 

and there’s enjoyment in comparing the two with questions like 

“what will be different?”, “who will they cast?” and “what will 

be the same?”, but what about the people who haven’t even 

seen the original? It’s people’s laziness and the stigma against 

anything old or anything foreign. It’s far easier to pick up one of 

the thousand copies of a remake on a new release shelf starring 

an actor with a six-figure salary than to trudge through the 

weeklies section. 

As with anything there are exceptions. Toy Story 3 is getting 

high praise all around and is likely to scoop up Pixar’s 

six billionth Best Animated Film Oscar. Martin Scorsese’s 

The departed is debatably better than the Korean original 

Infernal Affairs. It comes down to good filmmaking regardless of 

whether the film is a remake, a sequel, or completely original, 

but this lack of ‘originality’ and quality that seems to be a common 

thread is because of films resting on their laurels, trusting 

that audiences will see them regardless of the quality. And you 

know what? They’re right. . 


35

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Feeling 

QueeR? 

The Queer Collective is dedicated to representing and uniting 

queer students at UTS, which is why we have a plethora 

of activities planned for this semester! As we are part of the 

Students’ Association, we’ll be participating in the upcoming 

What Do You Stand For? event in week two. It is the perfect 

opportunity for you to take part in workshops, panel discussions, 

lectures and social gatherings to do with feminism and 

sexuality, as well as, of course, our regular meetings. Throughout 

the week and the rest of semester, our focus will be on 

engaging queer students and the broader community in the 

work of the Queer Collective. 

Queer Collective meetings are held each week in the 

Broadway campus Queer Space, which is located on level 3 

of Building 2, down the hall from Second Hand Books (see 

www.sa.uts.edu.au for a map). Anyone is welcome to come 

along and participate in our meetings. As a collective, we are 

inclusive and ensure that every member’s voice is heard. Our 

meeting programmes range from workshops and discussions to 

drinks and film nights, so there’s something for everyone! This 

semester we are also initiating a student safety project which 

aims to document queer-phobia and violence against queer 

students. The documentation will of course be anonymous and 

be used to inform the university about issues to do with safety 

on campus. 

We’re also going to be branching out to our spaces at Markets 

and Kuring-gai with plans for Queer Tea in action. We’re 

also holding meetings specifically for queer students who identify 

as women, kicking off with drinks at the Loft on Wednesday 

night in week two. 

If you have any questions regarding the collective 

or wish to join, email shapesuts@gmail.com or see 

the UTS Students’ Association from 9-4:30pm. 

whAT DO yOu sTAnD FOR? 

Week: 9-13th August 

Ladies in the Loft: 4:30pm Wednesday 11th August 


bRoadway 

Food co-op 

Deep in the labyrinthine lower floors of Building 2 is a room 

with a green arch around the door and a sign that says “Food 

Co-op”. Though often mistaken for a disused storage cupboard, 

room 2.3.25 is actually the home of a vibrant community 

of students, staff and members of the public that provide a 

not-for-profit, 100 per cent volunteer run, ethical alternative to 

supermarkets. Organic food (produced without synthetic pesticides 

or fertilisers) is purchased wholesale and can be bought 

for lower-than-retail prices. 

Every Thursday afternoon, magical fruit and veggie boxes 

are shared and sourdough bread is delivered fresh from La Tartine 

bakery. We also have a range of dry stock like chocolate, 

tea, coffee, muesli, nuts and dried fruit. Delicious food that’s 

fun, affordable and good for you AND the planet—who could 

ask for more? Come on down and say hi, help out and enjoy 

some fantastic food. 

For opening hours and further info visit 

www.broadwayfoodcoop.wordpress.com 

or email organicfoodcoop@gmail.com

youR chance 

to get involved 

neHa maDHok 

EDUCATION VICE-PRESIDENT, UTS STUDENTS’ ASSO- 

CIATION 

Because I keep stopping and starting this report, I’m just 

going to tell you right now that the semester break was a 

very busy and exciting time at the UTS Students’ Association. 

I realise that I always say that sort of thing, but really, 

how can I not? If it’s true then it needs to be said! Instead 

of sleeping in and lounging about watching True Blood 

(extreme jealousy towards anyone who got to do this), 

we’ve been creating new campaigns and planning for the 

semester ahead. This included a very frosty trip to Hobart 

for Education Conference, which was hosted by the 

National Union of Students (NUS). Over the conference we 

heard from a diverse range of speakers, from a young man 

who set up Street University in Sydney’s south-west, to information 

about student housing and changes being made 

to the regulation of university funding, as well as a pollie 

panel where students had the opportunity to ask Greens 

Senator Sarah Hanson-Young and Labor Senate candidate 

Lisa Singh, questions about higher education policy and 

a few general questions. An invitation was also extended 

to the Liberals but unfortunately none of them turned up. 

Conference also gave us the chance to meet with other 

student activists from around the country and talk to our 

national officers at NUS and come up with some great new 

campaigns for this semester. 

Make sure to look out for us in week 2 of this semester 

where the Students’ Association will be all over the university, 

we’ll be at Kuringai on Tuesday, Markets on Wednesday 

and Broadway on Friday with stalls galore as well as a few 

other little fun fab bits and pieces going on during those 

days. Additionally our collectives will be running all sorts 

of events over the week. The Women’s Collective will have 

forums and panel discussions, the Queer Collective will 

have a drinks night for women who identifying as queers 

and will also be running ‘This is Oz’ on the Thursday, as 

well the regular Queer Collective meeting. Now is a good a 

time as ever to join up to the Students’ Association if you’re 

interested in finding out more about what we do, want to 

join a collective or get involved in activist fun times. 

You can still get involved with the Education Action 

Team (EAT) this semester, we’ll be meeting on Thursday 

12pm every week to plan stunts, work on NUS campaigns, 

and campus specific campaigns such as having a giant game 

of musical chairs to represent issues to do with large class 

sizes. So make sure you come along and get involved! We 

work as a team and so it’s vital that we get as many people 

as possible along to each EAT meeting so that we can work 

collaboratively to come up actions and ideas that make a 

statement. 

whAT DO yOu sTAnD FOR? 

monday – General launch and panel discussions 

Tuesday – Stalls at Kuringai 

wednesday – Stalls at Markets and Ladies in the Loft at 

4:30pm 

Thursday – EAT meeting at 12pm, ‘This is Oz’ and panel 

discussions 

Friday – Stalls at Broadway Association. 


39

e a heRo 

racHael DurranT 

PRESIDENT, UTS STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION 

In the last two months, the Ginger Ninja has swept in and 

become Australia’s first female Prime Minister and the election 

has been called. On August 21, Australia goes to the 

polls to decide the future of this country. 

This year, more than ever, the youth vote will be vital. 

This is an exciting time—although apparently not as exciting 

as a cooking contest, since the leadership debate had to 

be moved so it didn’t clash with MasterChef! Good to see 

we have our priorities straight. 

The Students’ Association is actively participating in the 

National Union of Students vote 4 students campaign. 

This campaign centres on ensuring that the areas of youth 

and education that are important to students are heard 

and considered at a federal level. 

As the representative body for all students at UTS, our 

job is not just to represent you on campus, but to represent 

your rights and concerns at all levels of governance 

and influence. 

Already this year we have seen a huge win, given that, 

after years of campaigning, Youth Allowance was reformed 

to create a more equitable and accessible system. This 

was only achieved through a combination of on-campus 

actions and petitions, seeking the support of the university 

administration, media stunts and interviews, and lobbying 

the government. Because of this, many students, including 

those with difficult socioeconomic circumstances, can now 

access Youth Allowance and gain the start-up scholarships 

each semester to assist them in coming to university, as 

well as supporting themselves while they’re here. 

However, there is still more to be done with student income 

support. The package that was finally passed through 

the senate was a watered down, budget-neutral package 

because it was constantly blocked by the opposition and 

key independents, often for the sake of opposing reform 

rather than for any good reason. For too long students 


have been used as political footballs in the power struggle 

between parties. This federal election, we want to see a 

real commitment to the areas of youth, education and welfare 

policy, in which we need to see reform before we can 

achieve a quality education for every student in Australia 

who wishes to come to university. 

Over the next few weeks we will be approaching candidates 

from the major parties in seats where our campuses 

exist or where large cohorts of UTS students live, work or 

study and asking them to make a commitment to represent 

our issues. 

Do you know what the candidate in your electorate 

thinks about education funding or student housing? How 

will student organisations continue to fight for our rights 

to fair and accessible education, affordable housing or 

better reforms to income support if we have a hostile, antistudent 

government? How can we negotiate smaller class 

sizes, more student services, better resources or longer 

library hours if we elect a government that doesn’t support 

increasing the funding to universities? 

We are asking all candidates to sign a pledge to say 

that, if elected, they will: 

• increase funding for universities; 

• create a more equitable system of student support; 

• support Student Representative organisations; 

• deliver affordable student accommodation; 

We are also asking students to step up and make a 

pledge. We want you to pledge to use your vote to support 

a candidate who has signed the pollie pledge. 

The government we elect will shape our ability to access 

a quality education. Be a hero, sign the pledge. 

Head to unistudent.com.au/vote/ for more info or to sign the 

pledge. If you’re interested in joining our team of heroes, who will 

be lobbying candidates and asking students to sign the pledge, 

contact Rachael at sapresident2010@uts.edu.au

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