Controversial Cover Angers Roaches, Old People p.1 - The Beast
Controversial Cover Angers Roaches, Old People p.1 - The Beast
Controversial Cover Angers Roaches, Old People p.1 - The Beast
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“I ADVERTISED IN<br />
THE BEAST, AND NOW<br />
I CAN TASTE COLOR!”<br />
12 <strong>The</strong> BEAST, January 26-February 9, 2005<br />
Inaugural Numbers<br />
$40 Million Cost of entire event<br />
$17 Million Money spent on red white and blue jell-o shots<br />
1 Creepy-voiced tracheotomized Supreme Court Justices in attendance<br />
12 Number of Loritabs Bush twins Jenna and Barbara split<br />
10,000 Number of anti-Bush protesters dismissed by<br />
televised and print media as “unimportant”<br />
9,872 Number of protesters who actually are unimportant<br />
27 Number of times Bush said “freedom” in his address<br />
34 Number of times he attempted to<br />
say “tsunami” before it was dropped<br />
93 Percentage of German<br />
war criminals that think<br />
Laura is “hot stuff”<br />
534 Number of days until Kitty<br />
Kelley will be killed in a small<br />
plane crash<br />
23% Chance that you will read<br />
this bit to the end
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