Controversial Cover Angers Roaches, Old People p.1 - The Beast

18 The BEAST, January 26-February 9, 2005
Iwas a Catholic. Not just any
Catholic. I went to church with
my family every Sunday and on
every holy day of obligation. I
attended a Catholic elementary
school, a Jesuit High School, and a
Jesuit College. I was married in a
Catholic church with a Catholic
priest. I was president of my parish
counsel at my Catholic church. And
I am the God Father to seven children.
All this, and by age 32 I had
never actually read the Bible. If you
had asked me when I was 32
whether I had ever read the Bible, I
would have given the same answer
just about every Catholic I have
asked gives me: “Over the years I
have probably read the whole Bible,
yes.” But the sad fact is that after
being a Catholic for over 32 years, I
had never read the book which is
undoubtedly the foundation for
Christianity.
When my son was born, I felt I
needed to increase my faith in God.
And, as my three daughters were
born, that desire grew. I didn’t
want to be merely a good Catholic;
I wanted to be a great Catholic. My
parents were great Catholics for me
and I wanted to be that for my children.
I asked my parish priest what
I could do to become a great
Catholic. He suggested that I start
by going to the source of our faith;
the Bible. So I did. I began reading
Genesis and didn’t stop until I finished
Revelation. Over 1400 pages.
I read every night. I read on planes.
I read while waiting for meetings. I
read every day. Sometimes a lot,
sometimes a little, but always
something. It took me over a year.
At first, I didn’t take notes, I just
read. I didn’t want to turn it into a
“study thing;” I simply wanted to
absorb the Word of God, to take it
all in.
Since my goal was to become a
great Catholic, at first everything
made sense. Everything worked. If
it didn’t, I made it work. King
David is an adulterer and murder?
No problem. Rebecca favors her
son Jacob over her son Esau and
cheats Esau out of his birthright?
No problem. Jacob marries his two
cousins, and has 12 sons with two
wives and two concubines, works
for me.
But at some point things began to
unravel. Maybe it was when I began
to appreciate that the Old Testament
portrayed God as a racist. Or
maybe it was when Moses claimed
that God told him to commit genocide
in Canaan. I didn’t immediately
conclude that the Bible was an
offensive insult to God, though. I
simply concluded that I wasn’t
bright enough or insightful enough
to understand the mysteries.
So I kept reading. But rather than
simply read and absorb, I started
the process of folding corners.
Every time something didn’t make
sense to me, I folded the corner of
the page. I didn’t want to be slowed
down by my ignorance. I planned
that, after I finished the Bible once,
I would go back and address the
few outstanding issues. Before
long, though, I was folding both
corners of every page. I even started
making small tears in pages, to
remind myself that there were
more than two issues on particular
pages.
By the time I reached the New Testament,
I had practically doubled
the thickness of the book with all of
my folds. It looked like an accordion.
I was relieved to get to
Matthew, though. After all, Jesus
came here to set the record
straight. He came to tell the Jews
they were on the wrong path and to
provide guidance for Jew and Gentile
alike. My questions would soon
be answered. But that didn’t happen.
My issues only grew. By the
time I finished Matthew, I had
given up on my corner-folding
technique and pulled out a pen. By
the time I finished Revelation, I
had notes everywhere.
It simply didn’t make sense. This
was the Word of God, but it didn’t
sound like that to me. So I spoke
with some really smart Christians.
They told me to pray about it.
Wow! Why didn’t I think of that?
The only problem was that I had
been praying about it, every day,
five times per day. The book simply
didn’t make sense! Then they told
me that I must not have enough
faith. I’m not listening. I’m not
opening myself up to God’s Word.
Let’s see; I had just dedicated
almost two years of my life to reading
a book most Christians haven’t
even read, I’d dedicated myself to
prayer at least five times per day,
I’d gone to every smart Christian I
know to get answers, and I didn’t
have enough faith? I wasn’t listening?
I wasn’t opening myself up to
God’s Word?
I made a new plan. I would read the
book again. This time, though, I
wouldn’t read it as a Christian; I
would read it as a Martian. I wouldn’t
read it with the belief that Jesus
is the “Son of God;” I would believe
that Jesus was just a man, until the
text proved otherwise. This time I
would read the book with only
three assumptions. First, that God
loves his children at least as much
as I love mine. Second, that God
wouldn’t favor one child over
another (I wouldn’t and God is a
better parent than I am). And third,
that God is all-powerful and allknowing.
The second reading changed my
life.
You see, without a lifetime of Christian
baggage obstructing my view, I
was able to see Jesus for the first
time. I didn’t see the compassionate,
loving, Son of God who gave his
life to take away the sins of the
world. At least not in Jesus. What I
saw in Jesus was arrogance, anger,
abusiveness, self love, insecurity,
and racism. Most of all though, I
saw a man; not God.
I now find it funny that authors of
books like the The DaVinci Code
invest all kinds of time attempting
to expose major weaknesses in the
Catholic Church. Typically,
Catholics respond with “outrage” at
the author, and sometimes disenchantment
with the Catholic religion.
I think it’s funny because
regardless of whether the leaders of
the Catholic Church are corrupt,
the religion is fatally flawed by the
fact that it’s centered on Jesus. To
discredit the Christian religion, one
need only read the book—not The
DaVinci Code, the Bible. The
Gospels in particular. The words
Jesus actually spoke. If you read
the Gospels as I did, as a Martian,
you will see that Jesus is a man and
Christianity is a fraud.
Over the next few months, I’ll show
you what I saw the second time I
read the Bible, the book that over
two billion people have accepted as
the Word of God.
Itza Crock is an attorney and
lapsed Catholic in the Buffalo area.
He is using a pseudonym because
he would probably otherwise be
beaten up by misguided Christians
with no sense of irony.