The Parent

The Parent

Strategies for

Raising Gifted

Children who

are Healthy &


Maxine Kilcrease, Ph.D.

April 9, 2007

Tonight’s s Agenda

• Principles, Values & Beliefs

The Parent

The Parenting

The Child

• Resources

• Conversation

Principles, Values &


• All children need parenting-

gifted children need it too.

• A firm foundation of values and

beliefs is essential to raising a

successful well adjusted child.

• Children who are gifted are not

“better” than other children.

They are different.

Parenting gifted children is

complex, challenging and


Parents who think of their

gifted children as status

symbols are objectifying their

children. The children will act


• Gifted children are not superior

human beings. They just have

greater intelligence.

The Parent

• Know yourself.

• Accept your child’s s giftedness.

• Be intentional and reflective.

• Use your energy wisely.

The Parenting

• Be a parent, not a friend.

• Balance expectations and


• Develop patience and more


• Cultivate being low key and



• Take responsibility for

providing interesting and

stimulating experiences for

your children.

• Ensure participation in a broad

range of activities.

• Change is inevitable and


• Predicting the future is not a

good use of your time.

• Expectations v. Reality

The Child

• Keep learning about yourself.

• Be honest with yourself. (Don’t


lie to yourself.)

• Identify your strengths.

Live Your Own Life

• One of the barriers is pleasing

others all the time.

• You only live once.

• Use your life energy wisely.

• If you don’t t live your own life,

you will be miserable.

Identify who & what

you need for support

• Who do you need Who can you

count on

– Friends

– Families

– Teachers

• What

– Journal

– Exercise

– Quiet time/space

– Vitamins

Create discipline &

rhythm in your life

• Habits of living.

• What works for you

• Make perseverance and

flexibility part of your life.

• Balance isn’t t all it’s s cracked

up to be.

Your social responsibility

• We have a lot.

• Some folks have none or little.

• We need to do our part to

ensure that others have the

same access and opportunity

that we do.

• Look for opportunities-

sometimes they will come to


Do what’s s good & right,

no matter what

• This may cost you something-

power, prestige, privilege.

• Forget about ever getting

anything out of it other that a

great feeling and satisfaction.

Be the one to push the


• Look at things from multiple


• Color outside the lines.

• Don’t t start with the status quo.

• Start with the questions about

the work.

Finish your education

• Expensive

• Difficult

• Infuriating

• Exhilarating

There’s s no substitute

• Keep on learning

Pursue your passion

• Decide what matters more

than anything to you.

• Choose your goals.

• Never give up.

• No one ever gets everything

they want.

Eleanor Roosevelt

“You gain strength,

courage, and confidence

by every experience in

which you really stop to

look fear in the face. You

must do the thing you

cannot do.”


• Is forgetfulness a common trait in

gifted children How do we help

our son remember his assignments

without him becoming dependent

on us

• How do high achieving students

that struggle with picking up on

those subtle social skills, survive

high school


• How can you help siblings of

gifted students, when the

sibling may or may not be


• What advice do you have for

parents of gifted kids on

coping with intense emotions


• How do parents deal with

perfectionism in their gifted child

• It seems that many gifted kids have

one particular all-consuming

interest or passion. Our child is

very strong in several areas but no

one area is all-consuming. We

wonder how to guide our child in

making college/career decisions

when there appear to be many

possible options


• Our child prefers to hang out

with a great group of older kids

with similar interests and has

little time for kids in the same

grade. How typical is this of

gifted kids

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