The Decay of the Angel - Yukio Mishima

For two or three weeks the seventy-eight-yearold
Honda was in the grip of temptation. He had seen
the girl at dinner, and they had exchanged brief
remarks. He had received several more photographs.
Hence the temptation.
He had not given a favorable answer, nor had he
reached a decision; but his aging heart was the victim
of impulses which his reason could not control. The
willfulness of old age gave him the itch. He longed to
show the pictures to Tōru and see his response.
Honda did not himself know what had possessed
him, but happiness and pride were at work in the
temptation. He knew that if in fact he were to inform
Tōru of the proposal he would have passed the point
of no return. But willfulness did not see reason.
He longed to see all the results of the match, of
bumping the two of them together, a white billiard ball
and a crimson. It would be good if Tōru was fond of
the girl and it would be good if she was fond of him.
She would mourn him when he died, he would be
aroused by her greed and come to see humanity for
what it was. Either would for Honda be a pleasing
result. A sort of festival.
Honda was much too old to have solemn thoughts
about the nature of human life. He was at an age
when he could justify malicious games. Whatever the