# HIV HEROES

84
the campaign
Text Philipp spiegel
when do I
tell her?
THE IMPLICATIONS OF AN
h i v - p o s i t i v e
HETERO LIFE
Being a heterosexual male with HIV is
filled with emotional contradictions. Having
been infected rather recently, my experiences
concerning the matter are rather
recent—and yet HIV has changed my life
in numerous way. Ways I cannot even fathom
just yet, for they are in constant fl ow.
The diffi culties and confrontations concerning
this new life are numerous, and a
lot of exploration is still necessary.
A new routine
My first months were the most difficult
ones. Plagued with doubt about my
actions, there were two main concerns
that dominated my life. For one, the
medical aspect. With knowledge and
research, I could deal with my initial
fears of this aspect rather quickly. Being
born in the 80s, with the deadly threat
of this disease being hammered into
me from early on, properly done research
soon alleviated my fear of a gruesome
death. I informed myself, and
still do, about therapies and medical
implications. Of course, the privilege
of living in a Western country with excellent
medical facilities and treatment
options gives comfort and has made
life almost normal. My gratefulness towards
the amazing scientific and medical
progress concerning this disease
is never-ending. At least on a medical
level, knowledge truly is power.
Knowing that this is something that will
be there for the rest of my life has a
strong impact. Death itself has become
a constant. Not a threat, but “company”.
An awareness of my own mortality,