Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1 - Fish Fingers and Custard Fanzine
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1 - Fish Fingers and Custard Fanzine
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1 - Fish Fingers and Custard Fanzine
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16<br />
<strong>Fish</strong> <strong>Fingers</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>Custard</strong> <strong>Issue</strong> 1<br />
Angles in Doctor Who, but the teacher<br />
didn’t agree <strong>and</strong> threw a board duster at<br />
me. Bit harsh, considering there wasn’t<br />
a blackboard in sight. Ah the 70’s,<br />
where the corporal punishment of young<br />
children was acceptable!<br />
Lovely Karen<br />
I couldn’t really talk about the new<br />
Doctor Who series without mentioning<br />
young Karen. Isn’t she lovely? In the<br />
past, Doctor Who has been accused of<br />
casting young women just for the lads<br />
<strong>and</strong> dads. To be honest – I’m all for it.<br />
If it works for Blue Peter, it’ll work for<br />
Doctor Who.<br />
Moose Women<br />
Here in the UK we have a daytime<br />
program for women called ‘Loose<br />
Women’, I believe it’s a version of a US<br />
show, where women television<br />
personalities, who you don’t know,<br />
basically talk rubbish <strong>and</strong> interview<br />
celebrity guests, who obviously don’t<br />
want to be there, for an hour. Just like<br />
all women then! Anyway, I’m now on<br />
permanent st<strong>and</strong>-by for the show, just in<br />
case nobody’s arsed to turn up.<br />
Thankfully, Pete the doorman is never<br />
off sick, so he saves me the task of<br />
travelling down to London to hold the<br />
door open for Jane McDonald or any of<br />
the others in her coven.<br />
A Game of Singles<br />
Speaking of daft women – my 4 th wife<br />
has finally got sick of me <strong>and</strong> is filing<br />
for divorce. She got wind of the fact<br />
that I won £1000 on a scratch-card. She<br />
doesn’t know I’ve already spent it on a<br />
summer holiday to Ibiza! Some young<br />
ladies, who are heading to the Balearics<br />
this summer, are going to get very lucky<br />
indeed!<br />
Apparently, her reasons for a divorce<br />
are for ‘ab<strong>and</strong>onment <strong>and</strong> sexism’. As<br />
you can tell - I’m the last person to<br />
undertake those things!<br />
I don’t think she liked my reason for<br />
divorce being ‘because she’s a fat cow’,<br />
however!<br />
And Finally…Blood Work<br />
At the moment, I’m doing double-shifts<br />
at the club, but I’ll be heading down<br />
south to film a few episodes of Holby<br />
City this month. I’ll be playing a coma<br />
patient <strong>and</strong> I’m very excited! I played a<br />
coma patient in its parent show,<br />
Casualty, in 1987. I wonder if it’s the<br />
same role?<br />
Speaking of horrible faces, isn’t it<br />
wonderful that the UK now has David<br />
Cameron as the new Prime Minister?<br />
Personally, I think they should bring<br />
Maggie Thatcher back, as she did<br />
wonders for the working people of the<br />
UK, especially here in Northern<br />
Engl<strong>and</strong>. Remember, political parties<br />
are like lions - they never change their<br />
spots.<br />
So on that serious note, I bid you<br />
goodnight! Don’t forget to leave some<br />
feedback <strong>and</strong> send that Stephen Smithbloke<br />
letters about me appearing in the<br />
next series!<br />
All the best!<br />
Harry x