March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

VIEWSeditor’s noteby matt comermatt@goqnotes.comCharlotte, on the cusp of change?general gayetyby leslie robinson :: qnotes contributorThe sandwich-generation lesbianAfter years of little-to-no progress onLGBT issues in the Queen City, I’m starting tothink we might be seeing the very early lightof a bright spot in Charlotte. Or, at the least,that’s what I hope I’ve observed as smallpieces toward progress fall into place hereand there across the city.For the most part, nothing has recentlychanged in any of our political, religious orsocial circles. Bill James is still attractingattention with his anti-gay rhetoric. Countyand city Democrats, who refuse to standup to James or undertake real initiatives forchange, continue to have no spine.Surprisingly, however, what has begunto transform is the apparent level at whichlocal LGBT community members are willing tospeak out and take action in more visible andengaging ways. Those who worked — especiallyadvocate Roberta Dunn — to make bothbehind-the-scenesand public inroadswith the Charlotte-Mecklenburg PoliceDepartment (CMPD)kick-started what Ihope will be a sustainedtrend towardreal civic and socialequality for LGBTCharlotteans. So far,I’ve seen nothing butpositive signs that justsuch a trend really is occurring.Following CMPD Chief Rodney Monroe’sforum at the Lesbian & Gay Community Centerlast fall, Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx tookup an invitation to speak and answer questionsfrom community members. New leadershipat the center has been more engagedand open to community feedback. Just thismonth, the Pride Charlotte organizing committee— on which I hold a seat — announcedthat their annual festival would move to S.Tryon St., right into the heart of Uptown.Charlotte’s LGBT community is comingout loud, proud and strong. Though it isn’t thefirst time we’ve done so, we’re reclaimingnow after years of silent (and, I’d say, willful)subjugation our rightful place in the publicsquare. Five years ago, Fred Phelps wannabeFlip Benham claimed a Crusades-like victoryover Charlotte’s gays.“Charlotte Pride is back in the closet,”he told the city council in March 2006. “Andit’s back in the closet because the churchof Jesus Christ came out of the closet. Andbecause you, city council, helped us to do thatvery thing.”Creative Loafing reported at the time,“He still claims victory, even if Pride takesplace somewhere other than its usual spotin Marshall Park. ‘Whatever they do in thecloset, that’s up to them,’ said Benham.‘They’re foul. It’s awful. It brings death.’”And, for the most part, Benham hasbasked in his victory each year Pride organizerschose to confine themselves to privateproperty. We gave into his game. He wantedLGBT people out of the public square and hegot his wish. Willfully, we chose to withdrawfrom the public sphere and civic debate.But this year, the Charlotte LGBT community’svirtual closet will beopened again. Try as hemight, and we know hewill, Benham won’t be ableto push us back. This isthe year, my friends, whenCharlotte’s queers rise upand say: We demand equality.We demand it now.We’ve waited long enoughand we will no longer continueto reward or supportpoliticians and other civicor religious leaders who fail to deliver on theirpromises and work to ensure all their constituentsare equally protected by the full weight oflaw, policy and practice.CorrectionsOur March 5 article, “’Game on’ in Tar Heelmarriage fight,” erroneously stated that theMichigan Supreme Court had overturned domesticviolence statutes. This was inaccurate.Our article at hasbeen updated to read: “The possible consequencesaren’t hypothetical. Some states, likeMichigan, have already rolled back domesticpartner benefits as a result of similarconstitutional revisions. Domestic violencestatutes that protect unmarried or cohabitatingpartners have also come under attack instates like Utah and Ohio.”We regret the error. : :qpollWhat do you think about Pride Charlotte’sdecision to move their annual festival toS. Tryon St. in Uptown?Ever heard of the Lingerie FootballLeague? It’s a women’s football league wherethe women wear helmets, shoulder pads,bras, panties and garters. Billed as “true fantasyfootball,” the teams have names like theLos Angeles Temptation and the Dallas Desire.If this league catered any more to menthere would be cigars at halftime.But, I didn’t learn about the LingerieFootball League from a guy; I learned aboutit while visiting a lesbian website. The localsite,, provided LingerieLeague information and videos on its sportspage. That in turn provided me with a reminderof my age, a keen sense of where I am on thespectrum of lesbian thinking and a headache.I don’t react well when lesbians viewwomen in the bootylicious way many mendo. Maybe it’s because I’m 47 and rememberhow women fought to be viewed as morethan tits and ass. Now to see lesbians encouragethe ogling of women, to watch themmatch men drool-for-drool, well, that feelslike a step backwards.However, as I’m 47 and not dead, I’mmindful of the sentiments of a younger lesbiangeneration, which might be expressed like this:“Hate to tell you, grandma, but you older folksfought so that we could be whoever we want tobe. We can revel in pure sexiness like guys do.We can be as shallow as guys. So, thanks!”Um, you’re welcome?When I looked further down The SeattleLesbian’s sports page, I found stories aboutthe WNBA’s Seattle Storm. As a huge Stormfan, I was pleased to see them. As a readerteed off over the highlighting of the UndressedFootball League, I assumed the site and Icould now be friends again.Not. The stories concerned three playersand the site editor chose one action shot andtwo glamour shots. The two glamorized playershad on more make-up than RuPaul. So faron this lesbian site I’d seen sex and glamour— and that was just the sports section.The experience made me feel old and onthe curmudgeonly end of the lesbian spectrum.But, another experience with media hadme feeling youthful and wildly open-minded.I received in the snail mail the latest issueof a magazine called Lesbian Connection. Ibegan getting the bimonthly publication lastyear and it’s now clear to me what an asset itis for dykes everywhere. LC serves as a lesbianforum, enabling readers, who provide mostof the content, to tell their stories; it offersa worldwide list of lesbians willing to shareinformation about their regions; subscriptionsare on a sliding scale.It’s also now clear to me that the averageLC reader remembers Truman’s inauguration.Okay, I exaggerate, but the magazine,founded in 1974, is something of a relic.Birthed in the era of lesbian separatism, LCreflects its origins. Readers have names like“Artemis Passionfire” and “Flash Silvermoon”and while I wish I made those up, I didn’t.I’ve read a lot about “womyn’s land” andcombed through oodles of irate letters whenthe cover art on LC wasn’t PC. The magazinesays it defines lesbians as “women-born-women,”meaning transgender women don’t count.I wouldn’t say LC is stuck in time, but it’smoving arthritically through it.I’ll continue reading and enjoying it and I’llgo back to Both willkeep me honest.Now I know middle age is more than justa number. It’s when you feel connected to thegeneration behind you and the generationahead of you — and when both generationsannoy the crap out of you. : . generalgayety.comSee the options and vote:!These rates only cover a portion of our true cost,however, our goal is to serve our communityMailed 1st class from Charlotte, NC, in sealed envelope.Subscription Rates: ☐ 1 yr - 26 issues = $48 ☐ 1/2 yr - 13 issues = $34Mail to: P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222______________________________________________________name: ______________________________________________________address: ______________________________________________________city: ______________________________________________________state: zip:credit ______________________________________________________card – check one: ☐ mastercard ☐ visa ☐ discover ☐ american expresscard ______________________________________________________#:exp. date:signature:Meeting Date: Tuesday, April 19, 2011Program: J.D. Lewis and “Twelve in Twelve”A philanthropic trip around the world with his two sonsLesbian & Gay Community Center820 Hamilton St.Time: Cash Bar Social/Heavy Hor d’oeuvres @ 5:30 pmProgram starts @ 6:45 pmCost: $20To Reserve: Call 704.565.5075or email businessguild@yahoo.comfor more informationor pay online via PayPal qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

[Note fromthe author— The lyricsof “When I’mSixty-Four”by Lennon/McCartney arethroughout thearticle. Enjoy!]In 1967, the Beatles came out with theirwonderful album (yes, I mean LP, vinyl disk),“Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band.” I was12 years old, on the edge of entering my teenageyears, in Maplewood, N.J., and I savedmy money for this album with an incrediblyintricate, psychedelically colorful cover.While my parents tolerated (barely) parts ofthe album, the one song they enjoyed was thehonky-tonk “When I’m 64!” In many ways,it was a musical bridge for my parents andme, in which our generations met each other.Now and then I would hear my mom and dadwhistle the tune at various times of the dayas they did chores around the house or whiledriving us to various activities.Today, I am a combination of my parents.And, what Beatles Lennon and McCartneyon being a gay parentby brett webb-mitchell :: qnotes contributorWhen I get older, Losing my hair…foretold is coming to pass: I’ve lost some hair,thanks to a natural receding hairline; I’m fairlycertain my partner would lock the door atquarter of three in the morning; he needs areminder about Valentine’s Day, birthdays, andthe like; and I buy my own bottle of wine. He ishandy in mending a fuse, though neither of usknit. I am the cook in the family, and he is thedishwasher. And, while I do not have grandchildren(yet) bouncing on my knee, I enjoyedbouncing both children upon my knees. Isavored the time when they’d tumbled off ofmy back as a bucking bronco onto the familyroom’s carpeted floor when they were young.I still tease my 18-year-old son that I can runfaster than he can (yes, this is a challenge).I am in the middle of my journey, mypilgrimage of this life. This morning I was toldby my “younger” partner that I was “nearingretirement,” though being a scholar-activistdoes not pay much in terms of a retirementaccount. While I laugh and make great goofyfaces with younger parents and their infants,I sigh and tell them I used to have young childrentoo, oh, 20 years ago. Or, when I receiveemails from abroad from a dad who is on thecusp of leaving his wife who has recentlygiven birth in his journey ofcoming out, I gulp and rememberthat I did something similar13 years ago. And, those gaymen who were my mentors incoming out, demanding justicewhere I used to teach, strugglingto figure out how to live withanother self-assured Americanmale, are now in retirement on a farawayisland in the Pacific, Palm Springs or haverecently died, including my dad.While not a grandparent (yet), I realize thatthe Beatles song that I sang lustily when I was12 years old is starting to ring true in my 50s.Who I am today is so not in the realm of whoI thought I would be at that age, which is agood thing. I find myself giving more talks andkeynote speeches on being a gay dad to youngand younger audiences of people consideringthe possibility of parenthood as out lesbians orVIEWSgays. I sat down (finally) with a financial adviserto see if I’m doing alright for my retirement. And,I am attending “Breaking Generation Silent”on Saturday, April 2, 2011, at UNC-Chapel Hill’sFriday Center, learning about the justice issuesfacing aging pioneers of the LGBTQ movement.Then on Sunday morning, with my partner drivingand dogs in the back of his Cherokee Jeep,we’ll simply go for a ride in the bucolic Carolinaback roads, chatting with my kids via cellphone, or whistling a song that I learned when Iwas a young boy in New Jersey. : :talkbackWBTV’s anti-gaysensationalismIn response to “Correcting the record:WBTV’s anti-gay and sensationalistic tabloidism”( and “WBTVreport on public sex questioned” ( what do you expect from CharlotteNC? Reasonable media influence. Fire andbrimstone from Heaven is more likely. Ihave grown to despise the South and it’sTalibangelical influence.— kit, Feb. 24, webI thought Charlotte had gone forward as astar of the new south.Of course there are always some peoplerooted in the dark days of human history, whoneed someone to demonize and hate.All you have to do is look at the hatredand BS tossed at our first Black President tounderstand what parts of America are about.Gay is the new [n-word] to some people whoLetters to the editor and comments from comments are not edited for grammar or punctuation.dare to call themselves christian.I have no objection to sending themselvesto hell, but they could do it with out hurtingother people. Just go work on the sabbath,eat pig and shellfish, wear clothes made ofdiffering kinds of cloth etc etc.Freedom to send themselves to hell isfreedom so richly deserved. Especially fortheir ministers who also often justify slaveryas per the bible.— Stan James, Feb. 28, webN.C.’s marriage fightIn response to “’Game on’ in Tar Heel marriagefight” (’s clear that amendments in other stateshave been used to impact things other thanmarriage.Here’s a link to one Michigan SupremeCourt decision: the NC Supreme Court’s baffling5-2 ruling in the recent Boseman v. Jarrellcase, who knows what they would twist out ofa marriage amendment — especially one writtenas broadly as Senators Forrester, Tillman,Soucek and their co-sponsors propose.—Appellation, March 5, webI am gay, and support this amendment.Sorry, but if you try and fight this amendmentwith scare tactics and bullying, I, along withall other gay North Carolinians who are notfar-left nuts, will make sure that our voices areheard as well. This will be on the ballot, and itwill be passed. Sorry, but you do not speak forall gay people, especially me. Take your anti-Republican hate speech and misinformationsomeplace else.— Steven, March 5, web@Steve 5th, Mar, 2011Why are you against two guys getting married?The marriage affects nobody but the twoIN it! It doesn’t affect anybody else’s marriage!Also, this story isn’t “repbublican-bashing”…it’sjust matter-of-factly citing what someindividuals who are republican have said.—Ed, March 5, webMarch 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

An online war is underway on NorthCarolina’s Outer BanksAn Outer Banks native reflects on his past, his hometown and the controversy over a 2011 OBX Pridefestby Miles Christian Daniels :: special to qnotesPhoto memories of Miles Christian Daniels’childhood at the Outer Banks conceal the harmfuleffects anti-LGBT religious bigotry had onhim throughout his youth.It started with a blog post from Charles Tyler, pastor ofRoanoke Island Baptist Church in Manteo, the birthplace ofVirginia Dare and home of actor Andy Griffith. When Tylercaught wind that David Miller, who lives less than a mile fromhis church, was planning the area’s first-ever gay Pride celebrationthis summer, he took to the blogosphere.“I know of no greater threat to the family that exists todaythan the homosexual agenda,” Tyler wrote on Jan. 26 on hischurch blog, “Pastor’s Corner.” He then called homosexuality“aberrant” and implied that homosexuals “persuade andinfluence” children. “I would recommend that families wholove their children, keep them far away from the event OBXPridefest,” Tyler admonished.Miller immediately took his rebuttal to his Facebook wall.“We are particularly upset over the accusation that we are providingchildren’s games and activities at pride fest as a meansto lure children into our ranks,” Miller wrote.Miller’s supporters, too, were outraged. “I’d be willing tobet that man (Tyler) doesn’t know a single gay person personally,”wrote one Facebook friend. The exchange, at times harsh,continues to play out within the “rant and raves” section ofCraigslist, a popular online community. “Outer Banks ScumballGays” read one recent headline.I heard about the story after it had gone viral late last monthand was picked up by several mainstream media outlets includingUnited Press International.For me, it hit especially close to home.Although I live in San Francisco, arguably our country’smost liberal city, I spent my childhood and teen years inWanchese, a conservative community that borders Manteo.Most of my family still call the Outer Banks home.I was eight years old and at a summer church camp when Ifirst knew something was amiss in my own life. qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011His name was James. He was from another youth group.It was nothing more than warm fuzzies, puppy love from adistance. No one “persuaded” or “influenced” anything aboutthe situation.I was gay.Like most, I tucked it away and throughout my teen andmost of my college years pretended to be just like my straightbuddies. When “it” showed its ugly face, I dealt with it in secret,usually begging God profusely to take the “sinful” desiresaway.Nightly panic attacks became so severe that the walls inmy bedroom seemed to move in and out as if they were takingdeep, long breaths. I heard hissing and ringing noises. I wasmentally melting.It wasn’t so much my sexuality that tormented me, butrather the fear that had been instilled from “men of God” likeTyler who stood behind a pulpit and preached sermons farscarier and damaging for a child than the puppet shows andsing-alongs Miller and his team have planned for their pridecelebration.After my sophomore year of college, I worked as a youthminister at an evangelical church in New Bern, N.C. I spent thatyear-and-a-half reading books and articles on how to not begay and would sometimes phone Trinity Broadcasting Networkand ask prayer counselors to perform the equivalent of anexorcism. Each morning, I went into the sanctuary and pleaded,usually with tears, my case before God.After my time in that little church, I went back to school atUNC-Wilmington. It was there, in an internet chat room, that Imet my first boyfriend. He was a freshman. I was a junior. Helived his life openly. I did not.I began to see my sexuality in a different light. What I hadthought to be a perversion was now being lived out as a lovingconnection between two people. The fact we both were male,had little to do with any of it.I’ve been open about my sexuality for over a decade now.My partner, Luis, and I have been together for three years andare in the process of adopting our first child.Being gay has not been easy, but I wouldn’t have it anyother way. Truth is, I don’t know any other way. It’s as mucha part of who I am as my blue eyes and long, piano-playingfingers.“It is not a healthy nor happy lifestyle,” Tyler concludes onhis blog post.I beg to differ and welcome him, or anyone else who sharesthis belief, into our home to see for themselves.According to Miller, the show will go on.Pride is the opposite of shame, shame that has been usedto control and oppress LGBT persons throughout our history.That shame, unfortunately for many of us, first took root in localchurches, lead by ministers like Tyler whose sermons causedyears of heartache, anguish and, in many cases, ostracismfrom family, community and friends.It was Mother Teresa who once said, “I have found theparadox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no morehurt, only more love.” If only Pastor Tyler, and others like him,put these words into practice, they might just get their wish.Replace hurt and shame with love and acceptance, and thevery need for gay pride events could very well cease to exist. : :— Miles Christian Daniels is a writer,filmmaker and blues pianist. He directed “Dixie Queen,”a 2003 documentary featuring Wilmington, N.C. drag queenTara Nicole and explored her life, as well as that ofother Southern drag performers and gay life and culture onNorth Carolina’s coast.

qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

10 qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

Hello kiddies— here we areagain, backto talk aboutcontests and thegirls (and sometimesguys) who do them. I hope this findseveryone doing well and ready for spring andthe time change that’s upon us as well. Oh,boy! Longer nights — can’t wait! Ha!Before we get started, I wanted to mentiona few exciting pageants that are comingup where you can run into yours truly — andtwo of them are the same weekend!Mike Rhinehart is having his Miss GayMid-East America prelim at Scorpio onFriday, April 1 and I feel a bloodbath comingon for those of you who like watching theboy queens compete. There are rumorsof queens coming in from all around to beseen on the Scorpio stage (a Miss Americastronghold and winner of many awards inthat system) and for an ample prize packageas well. Come on out and let’s cheer onJessica Jade as she gives up the title andsee Raleigh’s own Coti Collins who is thereigning Miss Gay America.Three nights later, at Club Mekka inMiami, Alyson Thomas presents her CarolinaContinental pageants — “regular,” PLUS,Elite and the Mr. I do know I’ll accompanyMiss Carolina Continental Elite MacyAlexander and good sis Leslie Lain to thefestivities. I’m told Versage may be on-handto film. I know y’all saw Versage on the seasonopener of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” right?More on this later!The third contest I was mentioning is MissNC U.S.ofA., coming up the third weekend ofMarch at Warehouse 29 in Greensboro. Don’tmiss it! I wonder if I’ll catch a glimpse of oneof my favorite queens of all time, Kelly Raye?A bitch can only hope!Speaking of the “Drag Race,” by thetime this comes out, contestant Stacy LayneMatthews will have already graced the stageof the Scorpio and had an on-stage chat withRoxxy C. Moorecox. I’ll follow up on that in anupcoming edition.Since I mentioned Warehouse 29, it’s onlyfitting that I should mention the Mardi Grascontest they just had. My good sis ArabiaKinght-Addams was relinquishing the titleand Monica Marlo won Talent, Gown andthe crown! I’ve not seen this ole gal competein ages! Congrats, sis, from one oldschool sis to another! Her runners-up wereCherries Jubilee (who won On-Stage and tiedin Presentation with Monica) and MalayaChanel Iman.A new pageant that I’ll mention tookplace some time ago in Hickory at ClubCabaret — the Don’t H8 contest. Thisorganization is made up of a group of folkswho will be travelling to do musical numbers,dance routines, acting skits or a combinationthereof. They did a Miss and Mr. contest withMonica Jeffries and Chip Matthews crowningthe new folks — Barbara Mayberry with1st RU Lexy and a newcomer to the stage,Stone Parque, and his RU Skyler. Miss GayNorth America Supreme Ashley Adamshosted along with Jeff Reeves. Stone alsorecently just won Mr. NC Unlimited Classiquewhile Diamonique won the Miss title.In closing, I’ll tell you about what will(probably) be the final two benefits for mydrag ragby miss della :: qnotes contributorSpring is here, there and everwhere!sponsored kid’s housingand school fund — andthey involve drag, ofcourse, so it’s all good.Buff Faye’s drag brunchin February at Hartigan’swas a lot of fun and asuccess — it featuredBuff, Kiana Layne, SierraSantana, Miley Virus andBrooke Divine. The totalcontribution ended upbeing $215 and I happento know visiting artistBrooke made cute tipsthat day (her birthday)— so see Buff if you’dlike to make some extramoney on a Sunday afternoon.The followingFriday night, I was at theRainbow House at MyrtleBeach where JessicaRaye and her husbandNick hosted me andMorgan Richards waspouring the cocktails. Inthe show, Jessica, ImaniTate, Daisha Monet Tate Chip Matthews, Stone Parque, Barbara Mayberry, and Monica Jeffriesand Kristina DeeVine,appliances purchased and his school yearalong with a most lovely owner Miss Micki, should be paid for as well. It really does takehelped me raise $600 for my Gerardo ina village, Secretary Clinton! : :Honduras. In the last year, along with family info: Drop me a line, OK?and friends, we’ve raised right at $13k! So, TheTeaMissD@yahoo.comthe land and house are paid for, there will beMarch 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 11

BRIEFSnews notes:from the carolinas, nation and worldcompiled by Lainey Millen :: | David Stout :: | Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.comCarolina campuses consider dropping Chick-fil-ARALEIGH — After provoking ire from LGBT activists and bloggersover their donations to anti-gay groups and causes, restaurant chainChick-fil-A might soon find itself without at home at two North Carolinauniversities.Duke University is in the process of reviewing their relationship withthe restaurant, reports Nubian Message. Some students at N.C. StateUniversity are also discussing whether to push for Chick-fil-A’s ousterfrom their campus. Students at nine colleges and universities across thecountry have ramped up efforts to see the restaurant banned from theircampuses.The brouhaha began in February when Chick-fil-A decided toprovide food for a marriage seminar for a leading anti-gay organizationin Pennsylvania. Jeremy Hooper of also uncovered millionsof dollars in donations to anti-gay causes by Chick-fil-A’s non-profitarm, the WinShape Foundation.When the restaurant was successfully removed from IndianaUniversity South Bend, Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy released a writtenstatement distancing his company from the anti-gay group.“Providing food to these events or any event is not an endorsementof the mission, political stance or motives of this or any other organization,”stated Cathy.Cathy continued, “We will not champion any political agendas onmarriage and family. This decision has been made, and we understandthe importance of it. At the same time, we will continue to offer resourcesto strengthen marriages and families. To do anything different wouldbe inconsistent with our purpose and belief in Biblical principles.’”Justine Hollingshead, director for N.C. State University’s GLBTPrograms and Services, has indicated that there is talk among a varietyof student groups on how the university should handle this situation.She feels that students, who have buying power, should have the lastword on whether the establishment ought to be given the green light toCharlotteTeens say school not supportiveCONCORD — FOX Charlotte reported onMarch 8 that a group of students who formeda gay-straight alliance (GSA) at CentralCabarrus High School were being subjectedto bullying and harassment for a better part ofthe 2010-11 school year.The club’s president Jessyca Blair hasreported being attacked by a male student atschool.Ronnye Boone, a public information officerwith the school system said they takeharassment and bullying allegations seriously.Help is available if requested.State law requires protection for studentsagainst bullying and harassment. The 2009School Violence Protection Act added “sexualorientation” and “gender identity” to the list ofcharacteristics protected by statute.— L.M.Softball league ramps upCHARLOTTE — Dust off that glove andhead on down to one of two season kickoffevents for the Carolina Softball Alliance, anon-profit league that welcomes all individualsand amateur athletes, regardless of sexualorientation.Players are placed on teams according totheir skill level.On March 25, slide on down to Sidelines,4544 South Blvd., from 7:30-9:30 p.m. The nextevening tag the base at Hartigan’s, 601 SouthCedar St., at 7 p.m. Volunteers will be thereto accept registrations and share more aboutthe league.For more information, email info@carolina12 qnotes March 19-April 1 . or visit— L.M.Benefit concert slatedCHARLOTTE — A One Voice concert tobenefit Carolina Regional AIDS InterfaithNetwork, “When We No Longer Touch,” willbe held on March 25 and 26 at 7:30 p.m. atHeaton Hall at Myers Park Baptist Church,1900 Queens Rd.“When We No Longer Touch,” is an AIDSrequiem telling a story of love, life, upheaval,loss, acceptance and reconciliation. Thiswork, paired with additional songs celebratinghope and love, is dedicated to all in the QueenCity living with HIV or who serve the HIV/AIDScommunity.Tickets are $15/adult, $10/student. Theyare available online at, at PaperSkyscraper, 330 East Blvd., or at White Rabbit,920 Central Ave.For more information,— L.M.PFLAG sponsors PrideSALISBURY — Seems there is a new kidon the block. The Salisbury-Rowan Chapterof Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbiansand Gays has taken the torch to present thetown’s first Pride celebration on June 25 in the100 block of E. Fisher St. from 11 a.m.-5 p.m.Theme for the event is “Our City, One Goal,Equality For All.”The day’s activities will be filled withmusic and entertainment, games for children,food and arts and crafts displays.Other patrons and sponsors are sought, asstay or be asked to exit.Kelley Brackett, public communication specialist for N.C. StateUniversity dining and catering operations, told The Technician that theChick-fil-A on campus has avoided significant criticism.“We cannot speakfor the Chick-fil-A corporation,but we haven’tseen any backlash fromthe recent controversy,”Brackett said.The university is afranchise owner of oneChick-fil-A location oncampus and will addanother this spring.Brackett alsostressed that N.C. StateUniversity’s diningservices remain open toeveryone in the universitycommunity.“University Diningwelcomes all students,faculty and staff intoall of our locations.We also welcome anyone to apply to work at our locations. UniversityDining in no way discriminates against sexual preference, religiouspreference, race or gender,” Brackett said. “Chick-fil-A has alwaysbeen one of our most popular locations and remains one of our mostvisited retail operations.”— L.M. & M.C.well as area businesses, groups and vendorsto set up booths.For more information or sign-up forms,write Pride Committee , P.O. Box 5207,Salisbury, N.C. 28147-0088 or— L.M.TriadFoundation opens grant seasonWINSTON-SALEM — The AdamFoundation, a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization,is now accepting grant applications. Thedeadline is April 8.The Foundation raises money in the communityand distributes those funds to localagencies as grants in accordance with itsmission statement.For complete details on eligibility andguidelines or for more information, or— L.M.GGF raises big bucksGREENSBORO — The Guilford GreenFoundation’s 4th Annual Women’s Party,held on Feb. 11 at Studio B, raised more than$43,000 to benefit grant programs for theTriad’s LGBT community. Over 190 womenwere in attendance.“Events like this make it possible forGuilford Green Foundation to continue to supportthe Triad LGBT community through grantsand other awareness efforts,” said co-chairMinita Sanghvi (pictured). “Thanks to thesewomen, we not only exceeded our fundraisinggoal, but it cast a spotlight on the good workof this organization.”The Women’s Party was created toengage, attract and retain women donorsand serves as the Foundation’s only women’sdonor cultivation event. It also serves as acommunity building and networking/socializingevent for the Triad community — specificallyfor lesbian, bisexual, transgender andallied women. Sanghvi was joined by MelissaGreer who also served as co-chair.For more information, visit— L.M.Film fest reels outWINSTON-SALEM — The 13th AnnualRiverRun International Film Festival returns tothe Triad from April 8-17.The featured film, “We Were Here,” adocumentary which takes a reflective look atthe arrival and impact of AIDS in early 1980sSan Francisco, comes to the festival with apartnership between the festival and Out atthe Movies. It will be shown on April 15, 3:30p.m. and April 17, 10 a.m. at the University ofNorth Carolina School of the Arts’ ACE TheatreComplex, 1533 S. Main St.Tickets for the film, as well as the restof the festival, are available— L.M.TriangleAlderwoman, partner sign DP registryCARRBORO — Alderwoman Lydia Lavelleand Alicia Stemper signed the town’s domesticpartnership registry on March 4. But, theydid not take this step lightly. They did it to“protest a push for legislation that would bansuch unions in North Carolina,” the News andObserver reported.Stemper is an investigator for the statecapital defender’s office and said that she feltthat defense of marriage was a misnomer.Senate Bill 106 which was recently introducedwould support marriage being between of aman and a woman, contrary to what is beingsought by LGBT citizens.Chapel Hill and Carrboro are the only twomunicipalities to offer domestic partnershipregistration.— L.M.RegionalPoll shows positive trendELON — An Elon University Poll releasedon Feb. 28 showed that a majority of NorthCarolinians support marriage or civil unions forsame-sex couples and oppose a constitutionalamendment to prevent same-sex couples frommarrying. The poll also revealed significantincreases in public support for LGBT equalityin just the last two years.The poll showed 57 percent support formarriage, civil union or partnerships for samesexcouples, with only 35 percent opposingany legal recognition for same-sex couples.That represents 9 percent increase in supportfor legal recognition of same-sex relationshipsin the past two years. This year, 29 percentsupport civil unions or partnerships, while 28percent support full marriage rights.The survey also found a 56 percent ofNorth Carolinians oppose or strongly opposean amendment to the state constitution thatwould prevent any same-sex marriages, withjust 38 percent supporting. Opposition to theamendment increased 5 percent in the lasttwo years.— L.M.

NationalSLDN communications director namedWASHINGTON, D.C. — A South Carolinanative was named on March 10 as the newcommunications director for ServicemembersLegal Defense Network (SLDN), a nationallegal services and policy organization that fornearly two decades advocated for the repealof “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). SLDN alsoprovides legal services to those impacted byor fired under the statute.Zeke Stokes, who lives in Washington,D.C., with his partner of three years, willbe responsible for planning, implementing,managing and evaluating all communicationsfor the group as DADT repeal moves throughthe certification and implementation phases.He will report directly to the chief operatingofficer and work closely with the executivedirector on key communications strategies.— Compiled from releaseGOP will defend DOMAWASHINGTON, D.C. — LGBT rightsgroups condemned U.S. House Republicanleadership for formally voting to authorizeintervention to defend the Defense ofMarriage Act (DOMA) in court. The BipartisanLegal Advisory Group, convened by SpeakerBoehner, voted 3-2 to authorize the House toretain legal counsel. Minority Leader NancyPelosi (D-CA) and House Minority Whip StenyHoyer (D-MD) voted against the action.With at least nine cases challenging theconstitutionality of DOMA, spanning threeappellate courts and four district courtsin six states, the March 9 vote sets up anexpansive and expensive undertaking. InFebruary, the Obama administration announcedthat the president had concludedthat a key section of DOMA is unconstitutionaland the administration would nolonger defend the discriminatory law.— D.S.Lesbians burned by insurance co.VONORE, Tenn. — On Sept. 4, 2010, Lauraand Carol Ann Stutte’s rural Tennessee homewas burned to the ground in an apparenthate crime. Six months later, the lesbiancouple’s $206,000 homeowners policy remainsunpaid and the Springfield, Mo., insurancecompany that owns the policy — AmericanNational Property and Casualty, a subsidiaryof American National Insurance Company— shows no signs of following through ontheir obligations.The fire was preceded by months of deaththreats from a neighbor. As the couple’s homewent up in smoke, a detached garage had theword “QUEERS” spray-painted on the side ingiant black letters.To date, American National refuses topay out the couple’s homeowners policy andrefuses to pay their living expenses in full,as detailed in a policy rider — even thoughthe company acknowledges that the couplecontinues to pay the premiums.— D.S.AG calls for marriage equalitySACRAMENTO, Calif. — CaliforniaAttorney General Kamala Harris has fileda brief with the U.S. Court of Appeals forthe Ninth Circuit asking that the stay onthe U.S. District Court ruling in Perry v.Schwarzenegger — which more than sixmonths ago declared Prop. 8 unconstitutional— be lifted immediately, once again allowinggay and lesbian couples in California to marry.“For 846 days, Proposition 8 has deniedequality under the law to gay and lesbiancouples,” Harris stated in her brief. “Each andevery one of those days, same-sex coupleshave been denied their right to convene lovedones and friends to celebrate marriages sanctionedand protected by California law. Eachone of those days, loved ones have been lost,moments have been missed, and justice hasbeen denied.”At press time there had been no responsefrom the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals.— D.S.Obamas host anti-bullying conf.WASHINGTON, D.C. – The President andFirst Lady called for a united effort to addressbullying at the White House Conference onBullying Prevention. Approximately 150 students,parents, teachers, non-profit leaders,advocates, and policymakers came togetherMarch 10 to discuss how they can worktogether to make America’s schools and communitiessafe for all students.“If there’s one goal of this conference,it’s to dispel the myth that bullying is just aharmless rite of passage or an inevitable partof growing up. It’s not,” said President BarackObama. “Bullying can have destructive consequencesfor our young people. And it’s notsomething we have to accept.”A delegation from the Gay, Lesbian andStraight Education Network was on hand topress for the administration’s support for thebipartisan Safe Schools Improvement Act, afederal anti-bullying bill introduced by Sens.Bob Casey and Mark Kirk.Global— D.S.Anti-gay couple can’t fosterDERBY, England — Eunice and OwenJohns, a Christian couple who were turneddown as respite foster care providers becauseof their negative views on homosexuality, losttheir legal challenge last month against theDerby City Council in the High Court.Lord Justice James Munby and JusticeJack Beatson ruled that laws protectingpeople from discrimination because of theirsexual orientation “should take precedence”over the right not to be discriminated againston religious grounds. They added that if childrenwere placed with caregivers who objectto homosexuality and same-sex relationships,“there may well be a conflict with the localauthority’s duty to ‘safeguard and promote thewelfare’ of looked-after children”Following the Court’s ruling, Eunice Johnssaid: “We have been excluded because wehave moral opinions based on our faith andwe feel sidelined because we are Christianswith normal, mainstream, Christian views onsexual ethics. We are prepared to love andaccept any child. All we were not willing todo was to tell a small child that the practice ofhomosexuality was a good thing.”— Have news or other information? Sendyour press releases and updates for inclusionin our News Notes: 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 13

SPRING GARDENINGAttaining the perfect patio in 48 hoursSpring is a time of renewal with flowersand trees blooming, grass greening andwarmer temperatures bringing us back to theoutdoors. But before you can begin to trulyenjoy the fresh air, there are many updatesneeded to help your patio areas recover fromthe harsh effects of old man winter.Luckily, with a few spring spruce-upprojects, you can achieve a patio revival inonly a weekend that’s simple, yet looks sensational.Here are some quick patio primpingtips from Krylon:Wash away winterWhen we think spring, we think cleaning.No matter what type of patio you may have,pressure washing is a simple way to make itshine. It offers instant gratification as layers ofdirt, dust and grime are quickly blasted away.Don’t have a pressure washer? No need torun out and buy one; most rental companiesor home improvement centers offer reasonablypriced daily rentals. Or it’s an opportunityto visit the neighbors you haven’t seen duringthe cold months to borrow theirs.Bring new life toold furnitureOnce your patio area isclean, it’s time to bring outthe seating. But have yourtable and chairs seen betterdays? The outdoor elementscan wreak havoc on patiofurniture. Fortunately, youcan easily turn somethingready for the trash into anew treasure by updating itwith a coat of spray paint.To start, lightly sand and clean the entiresurface. Next, spray the entire piece offurniture with a new, updated paint color. Formetal, wood or wicker surfaces, try Krylon’sOutdoor Spaces spray, or for plastic surfaces,try Krylon’s Fusion for Plastic spray paint. Bothproducts are available in a wide selection ofpopular colors and finishes and offer superiorprotection to keep your patio furniture lookingbeautiful for years to come.Petals and potswith pizzazzFinally, it’s time to liven up your patio areawith beautiful and aromatic flowers. But justas important as choosing the pretty petals, isplanting them in the perfect pot. Terra cottapots are ideal since they come in a variety ofsizes and are inexpensive. For added pizzazz,you can update these planters with a splashof color. You can choose one color for all ofyour pots or mix it up. This is a great projectthat allows you to experiment with all of thecolors that you love but were hesitant to committo inside your home. If you change yourmind, all you need is a new can of spray paint.To start, turn each pot upside down onnewspaper and spray the pot with your favoriteshade of Krylon Outdoor Spaces spraypaint. Once dry, you may choose to sprayyour vibrant pot with a clear, pearlescent orglitter spray to achieve the dazzling finishyou desire.With just these few simple projects, yourpatio will be festive and fashionable in just aweekend’s worth of work. For more informationon other products or products fromKrylon, visit : :— Courtesy ARAContent14 qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

REAL ESTATEFive tips for a faster sale in 20111Start planning nowMany homeowners wait untilthey have hired a Realtor to startstrategizing about how to market their homes,but those who plan ahead will also come outahead in the end. For example, it might havebeen too soon for buyers to start shopping forhouses during the frigid month of February.Times like those are better used prepping ahome for a faster springtime sale and spring isjust around the corner. Do minor repairs, addcosmetic paint to interior surfaces, update fixturesand appliances or just focus on gettingrid of clutter and packing up items that can bestowed away to make rooms and closets looktidier and larger.2Pricing is the name ofthe gameOnce it is time to list the home,price it right the first time instead of engagingin too much wishful fishing around foran unreasonably high offer. Today’s buyersare pragmatic and they crunch the numbersbefore they even go out to see property. So,homeowners who hope to set a high price,and then later lower it if they do not getenough buyer interest, run the risk of losingvaluable time as other competing homes sellbecause they are more sensibly priced. Keepin mind that the pool of qualified buyers whocan get their mortgage loans approved inthis economy is limited, while the inventoryof wonderful homes at great prices is huge.Don’t leave money on the table by offering ahome too cheaply, but don’t price it so highthat it gets priced right out of the market.3Convert lookers intobuyersIn a real estate market withfewer buyers, it is important to make everyviewing count. If the home does not lookits very best the first time a potential buyermakes an appointment and comes to tour it,they will not return again and they certainlywon’t make an offer. Coordinate everyshowing with the Realtor to ensure thatbefore the buyer steps onto the propertythe curb appeal is alluring, the home isclean and any excess clutter is gone orstored away so that the square footage ofthe house is not disguised, but emphasized.Open the curtains and blinds, turn on afew lights, take the pets to the park andfeel confident that the buyer will see thehome in its most attractive and marketablecondition.4Don’t hurry up just towait aroundIt is also important to haveRealtors screen buyers carefully ahead oftime, to make sure they have strong financialsupport to make a purchase. Jumping at thefirst good offer that a buyer makes may beexciting, but it also means that the home willhave a sale pending. That status typically discouragesother potential buyers from looking.If the home is held up by a pending transactionthat later falls apart because the buyerdid not qualify for a mortgage, precious time islost. This is especially true in springtime whenhome sales are more robust than at othertimes of year. By the time an LGBT seller realizesthat the buyer isn’t qualified, it may be toolate to take advantage of the busiest sellingseason of 2011.5Concede a battle towin the warDon’t blow a great opportunity tocomplete a sale because of minor squabblesor conflicting personalities. It is better to concedea minor negotiation of terms and conditionsin order to close the sale than it is to winan argument by sacrificing the entire transaction.To ensure smoother negotiations, homesellers should only work with listing agentswith whom they communicate exceptionallywell and feel a natural rapport. LGBT sellersoften find those qualities easier by shoppingfor Realtors who are actively supportive of theLGBT community. : :— Courtesy is still a buyer’s market, and LGBThomeowners who hope to sell in 2011are encouraged to be proactive aboutmarketing their properties while avoidingcommon pitfalls. Now is the best timein years for homeowners to successfullymarket their property. Follow thesetips and it is possible to not only attractqualified buyers but also enjoy a quickersale — with potentially higher profits— while overcoming many of the aggravatinghurdles faced by other sellers.March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 15

qomunityqonexionsuHomeServices16 qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

Best home improvements foryour renovation dollarsHOME DECORATING & REMODELINGHomeowners renovate for two basic reasons: money and fun. Or, more precisely, they undertakehome improvements to improve their home’s resale value or their enjoyment of their house. The besthome improvements, however, are ones that deliver on both objectives.Americans will spend nearly $141 billion on remodeling in the first half of this year, accordingto Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies. If you’ll be among the many homeowners opting toimprove, rather than move, you may be wondering what renovations are likely to give you the bestbalance of enhanced resale value and immediate enjoyment.Here are five home improvements — from budget-friendly to big budget — that provide noteworthyreturn on investment (ROI) in terms of increased value and improved enjoyment:Bedroom skylights offer privacy plus natural light withan ever-changing view of the sky both night and day.SkylightsYou can lower your electric billby installing skylights that will reducedependency on artificial light and fillyour home with natural light. You canobtain quality, energy-efficient, “No LeakSkylights” from Velux for around $800per unit for a standard fixed skylight withflashing kit. You can find a local installerto provide a customized cost estimate In terms of positiveenergy, the mental and physical healtheffects of exposure to natural light arewell documented. They’re also an effectiveprivacy preserver for bathroomswhere you might not want a wall window.Skylight and sun tunnels (skylights thatuse reflective tubes to bring sunlight intorooms without direct roof access) notonly enhance the energy efficiency ofyour home, they just may make you feelbetter about living there.DecksWhether you go for wood or composite, adding a deck is a great way to boost resale value,expand your living space and up your enjoyment of your home environment. On average, homeownerswho add a wood deck can expect to recoup more than 80 percent of its cost when it comestime to sell, according to Remodeling Magazine’s 2009-2010 Cost vs. Value Report. Composite deckadditions return about 71 percent at the time of resale.KitchensIt makes sense that the room where most families spend the bulk of their time would be a popularremodel — and one that pays off big in terms of value and comfort. Even a minor kitchen remodel —costing about $21,000 — will return about 78 percent of its value on resale, according to RemodelingMagazine. A major kitchen job, costing around $57,200, will recoup about $41,200, or 72 percent.BathsWhether you’re tackling a major job that involves knocking out walls and changing fixtures, orjust making cosmetic improvements like upgrading faucets and repainting, remodeling a bathroomgoes straight to the heart of our craving for comfort. Americans view their baths as far more thana place to get clean and take care of other necessities. Even if you’re not creating a home spa,improving the bathroom is sure to boost your home’s resale value and increase your satisfactionwith the room. Remodeling Magazine says the average bathroom remodel costs around $16,100and returns up to 71 percent of that cost at the time of sale.Basement/attic remodelWith more families staying put in the homes they have, rather than moving up to larger homes,many Americans are looking for ways to expand their living space while staying in place. Atticand basement remodels are great ways to add usable, livable space at a fraction of the cost ofbuilding an addition. The lingering effects of the Great Recession have multiple generations livingtogether under one roof again, and many of these families create bedrooms, bathrooms or evenfamily rooms in unfinished attic or basement space. Everyone appreciates the extra room, andattic renovations and basement remodeling yield resale returns of 83 percent and 75 percent,respectively, according to the Cost vs.Value Report. : :— Courtesy ARAContent.Décor trends 2011 :: Natural lightsInvigorate your home décor with this year’sclassiest spring trendsby Leah Cagle :: leah@goqnotes.comAfter enduring an unusually long and snowy winter, my heart has neverbeen so eager for the fresh warmth and sunshine of spring. If you too findyourself daydreaming of finer weather and renewed energy, then what betterway to fight off these last dreary days of clouds and drizzle than by bringing allthe crisp new colors and styles of spring into your home? Hold on tight for acrash course in all the new décor trends this season has to offer.TextureThe textures of the season are complimentary to the naturalness of thecolor trends, playing on bold consistencies found in the plant and animalworld. Furs and wood finishes can bring the farmland feel into your home,giving off a basic yet detailed style. Layered pillows and textured paintingsrecreate the beauty of flowers and the full feeling of being surrounded by thesoftness of natural plant life.The quieter color schemes allow for a lot of fun with the textures, sodon’t be afraid to mix and match. Pair up a fur rug with a layered or beadedpillow to create dimension and an understated complexity.StyleFinally, staple your killer seasonal savvy with the fresh styles of furnitureand accessories. Glass tables and chairs are wonderful for maintainingclear lines and creating a modern feel without distracting from the decorationin the rest of the room. Curvy lines on pillows and curtains can add abold personality to any room, especially when featured in a room with otherwiseboxy or straight lines. Finally, functionality is both crucial and stylish— floating shelves and strategic storage are definitely in this season.ColorThe artistic folks at Benjamin Moore Paint Company have formulatedfive basic combinations to inspire your color palate in your spring decorativeendeavors. Details at right.calm (OC-22), castleton mist (HC-1), horizon gray (2141-50)agave (AF-420), eternity (AF-695), solitude (AF-545)ivory tower (2157-70), coral essence (2007-40), beeswax (2157-40)calm (OC-22), castleton mist (HC-1), horizon gray (2141-50)“First Signs of Spring” includes cooler greys and a hint of warmth withthe muted sand color to create the feeling of a late costal winter. Thequieter shades hold a comfortable tension with the earthy tan, resultingin a neutrality that would work wonderfully in a bedroom or living roomwith a highlight of natural sun, reflecting a pleasant soft light.“Spring in Full Swing” plays on the deeply saturated colors of an earlyrainy spring. With moss green, full grey, and a dark misty blue, this colorcombination captures all the drenched richness of color that surroundsus, creating an earthy, nurturing vibe.“Spring Twist” brings a feel of soft citrusy zing to the eyes, combininga pale pink with delicious raspberry and soft tangerine orange. It’s zestand playful appeal make this color set a lively choice, bringing a brightyet sweet appeal.“Springtime in Paris” is a chic blend of pink pearl, purplish grey andrich icy blue, and it offers a sophisticated yet sensitive combination.Airy colors give a light, wispy feel with the whole blend being anchoredfittingly with the smoky grey.“Sail Into Spring” blends an ultra-pale pinkish orange with coollavender and charcoal grey to produce a tart, fresh visual experience.Inspired by a sea breeze feel, this pattern encompasses the pleasantcombination of warmth and cool so characteristic of sea-sidespringtime.calm (OC-22), castleton mist (HC-1), horizon gray (2141-50)March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 17

tell trinityby trinity :: qnotes contributorCelibacy: Is it right for me?Hey Trinity,I’m not becoming a priest, but I thoughtI’d try celibacy. Do you think it’s agood idea?The C. Word, Annapolis, MDHey, The C. Word,Sure, taking a break from sex and selfmanipulationsaves your chi, makes youmore creative and makes you hungrierfor meeting someone special.But, pumpkin, if you’re goingce… ce… ce… celibatebecause you’re tired ofanonymous sex or dating losers,then try again. Celibacy is for peopleof “the cloth” or people recovering from a disease,including sex or intimacy addictions. You may notneed to abstain from sex, but rather forgive yourpast experiences, choose healthier experiencesand abstain from your fears of intimacy!Dear Trinity,After a breakup, a job loss and an eviction notice,I’m hitting bottom. I’m always depressed and neverhave energy. Any advice?Bottomed Out, Nashville, TNDear Bottomed Out,You should feel sad for a few days to a couple of weeks, butthen it’s time to fight back. Besides calling all your friends,searching the internet as well as newspapers for help to find alover, job and a home, then try oversleeping, exercising, dietingand taking a little trip away. Staying active, honey,is the only way to beat depression. Remember, busypeople rarely have time to be depressed! (My cartooncan show you how I handle this awful mire.)Dearest Trinity,I’m 39 and fairly stable with a job, money, etc. My boyfriend ofalmost a year is 21, holds a full and part-time job, is very honestand never asks for anything. I buy him flowers weekly and takehim out. But, my friends feel I treat him too good. Is there “toogood?”Too Good, Seattle, WADearest TG,Giving is totally fine, but remember men get bored easily if theydon’t have to work for something.So, sweetie, let him worka little, which it sounds like hedoes. Also, tell your jealousfriends to let you learn aboutlove, dating and giving to yourhearts desire. And, if it doesn’twork out, I’m available!Hello Trinity,My boyfriend and I have justcelebrated our sixth month.Isn’t it time to suggest movingin, getting married or something?Sixth Month Itch, Toronto, ONTHello Sixth Itch,Sure, by month six you should be on your way toward some futureplans. However, if it’s going well, must you pull out your “todo” list just yet? Maybe wait till the 11th or 12th month to starttalking. If you’ll be together forever what’s a few more months?P.S. Also read:Trinity’s Sound Tips For What To StillNot Talk About Even In The Sixth MonthOf A Relationship1. Don’t talk about moving in together. It’s too soon! (Unlessyou find a two-bedroom apartment for $500 in Montreal or$1,000 in NYC.)2. Don’t talk about marriage. Not just yet!3. Don’t talk about open relationships, threeways or threesomesunless you have no sex life and still want to staytogether.4. Don’t talk about your past sexual escapades. Everyone hasparts of their past that no one needs to know about, ever!5. Don’t talk about buying property together. Baby, it’s unnecessary.6. Don’t talk about his or her financial issues. You don’t want toget that close to anyone, just yet!7. Don’t talk about his or her family’s problems. As a matterof fact, never talk about them, especially about his or hermother.8. Don’t talk about the benefits of plastic surgery even if youhave to look at his or her double chin and crossed-eyeforever!9. Don’t talk about borrowing money even if one of you has alot more than the other. Refer to the song: “Money ChangesEverything.”10. And, lastly, don’t talk about religious conversions, sexchanges or the Republicans! It’s way too upsetting! : :— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity washost of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama,and now performs . Trinity@telltrinity.comTell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org18 qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

out in the starsby charlene lichtenstein :: qnotes contributorMarch 19 - April 1There is some powerfulenergy in the air whenthe Sun moves into Aries.It’s time to jump startthings, enter into new, exciting territory andtake charge! But let’s also know when to take abreak and re-charge for the next surge.PISCES (02.20-03.20) Reap your just rewardsnow. Guppies are usually careful with theirdough. It is nice to note that scrimping and savingpays off. Let a few pennies shake loose andenjoy your gotten gains. Yet, there will alwaysbe a hint of need even with your financial flush.There is nothing so comforting as to feel that bigbulge in your wallet. Hmm, or is it in your pocket?ARIES (03.21-04.20) Who is that celestial presencewho outshines all us mere mortals? Okay,it’s just a proud Ram who is hogging the spotlight.So, what else is new? There is nothing that youcannot do. Use this time to get some new thingsin motion and meet scads of new people whocan help you along. You are infused with spit andfire and you start spreading it around. Yuk.TAURUS (04.21-05.21) There are things that gobump in the night. There are spooky ghouls thatrise up and surprise you. But, queer Bulls arefearless, feckless and fancy free, at least rightnow. Toss off your “straight’ jacket. Fight alldragons and set your course for a new proudyou. If that path happens to take you on a cruisethrough the islands in search of a kindred spirit,that’s not bad either.GEMINI (05.22-06.21) It’s a great time for gatheringthe masses, so make all your moves a groupeffort. How did you get so popular? Don’t wastethis powerful energy on just playing around. Youhave a way of capturing the social dynamic andhaving it dance to your own tune. Choose yourmarching music and get ready to implementyour grand plan — happy hour, on the hour,every hour.CANCER (06.22-07.23) Professional opportunitiesseem to fall into your lap. Gay Crabs areencouraged to make a grab for power. You feelinvincible and unstoppable. Try to do it unobtrusivelyand covertly as is your wont rather thanrely on an obviously pushy maneuver. To yourown self be true and be your truest in a corneroffice surrounded by your closest cadre.LEO (07.24-08.23) If you feel closed in and suffocated,then welcome a liberating energy. ProudLions feel the urge to break free and explore theuniverse. Plan a grand getaway or, if money istight, cruise some new neighborhoods or websites.The most important thing is to get out ofyour own skin and into someone…er…somethingbrand new. How tight a fit do you need?VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Kootchi coo queer Virgo.You are too cute for words. You are burstingwith confidence that makes you especially sexyand alluring. You manage to catch the eye ofevery desirable suitor. Gosh, what a change ofpace! Dive into the scene and make a splash.Ah, if you could only bottle it and save it for thenext drought. But, you now find yourself chronicallyparched.LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Do you feel the need forconnection? Proud Libras suddenly do not wantto be alone and yearn to be part of a pair. Thosecurrently in a relationship find ways of makingthe bonds even tighter. Those who are currentlyunattached manage to cast their vote for afew electable candidates. Who will win yourloyalty? Explore and probe their positions.SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Work and exercise arehighlighted. Proud Scorps get into the swim.There is nothing that you cannot accomplishnow if you set your mind to it. Do not waste precioustime. Tackle all unresolved issues, handleall long-standing projects and transfer the pileof “to dos” from your inbox to your outbox.Sounds like a good idea to me!SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) How much riproaringfun can gay Archers possibly have?I don’t know, but you are sure to test yourparty-hearty limits now. There will be ampleopportunity to let loose and relax with a rangeof pleasurable pastimes. Romance may be inthe air for those with a keen sense of smell.Don’t be too full of your own aroma to catchthe whiff of a certain wallflower.CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Rather than fight thefates on this one, use the next week or so toenjoy the confines of your home rather thantrot afar. You now have the will and the way toimprove your surroundings. Become a happyhomemaker and entertainer extraordinaire. PinkCaps might consider planning a family reunionto show off who they are and what they can do.What can you do?AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) Aqueerians are fairlyboisterous. Shout it out loud, proud and queer,compadre. Your opinions must be unleashedand disseminated. No one will have the heartto ask you to pipe down and you may even findthat there is a troop of happy campers willing tofollow your every lead. As long as you have thecrowd, crowd into your favorite knoodle spot. : :© 2011 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All RightsReserved. Visit fore-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. Mybook “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology ForLesbians” from Simon & Schuster isavailable at bookstores and major booksites.NETWORKcall or email us today704.531.9988adsales@goqnotes.comprint and online advertising solutionswith qnotes and goqnotes.comMarch 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 19

20 qnotes March 19-April 1 . 2011

Spring cleaningchallenge 2011 ::simplifyThis season don’t just clean up — clean out!by Leah Cagle :: leah@goqnotes.comHOME DECORATING& REMODELINGSimplifying your home is far from easy. Afew months ago when I moved from my collegeapartment into an intentional community inPlaza Midwood, I faced my first massive downsizingadventure. At the start, it seemed only ableak undertaking of saying tearful farewellsto my favorite things and hesitantly concedingitem after item to my “get rid of” pile.But after the first few boxes started fillingup, my spirits started to lift. By the timeI was dropping off my things at the FreeStore in NoDa, my feelings had certainly anddistinctively shifted — I felt lighter, freer, evenliberated.It’s truly amazing how much stuff I accumulatedon the basis of “need” that I rarelymiss now.There’s an old Aborigine saying that reads,“The more you know, the less you need.”Concepts of simplicity like this are difficultto process in the midst of a greed-driveneconomy like that in the U.S. But, despite allthe constant hype of needing bigger, shinier,newer things, could it be that perhaps lessreally is more?Don’t take my word for it — try it out foryourself! Start small by choosing just oneroom, one closet or one drawer to simplify,then go from there. Below you’ll find a fewamateur tips on how to begin.Step One ::Bite the bulletThe most difficult step in simplifying isactually getting rid of things — taking theclothes off the hanger, packing the paintingsin a box. This requires a thoughtful reevaluationof needed items versus wanted extrasversus superfluous desires.A friend (or two) can be extremely helpfulin this stage, offering sobering advice if youget too emotionally attached or a steady opinionif you start to get too carried away.With items you own in bulk, such as clothingor games, try out the “turn trick.” Simplymake sure all the clothes hangers, games orany other belongings you are evaluating arefacing the same way. After you use each, turnit in the other direction. Doing so will helpyou keep track of which items you have usedand which you have not used. Once a presetamount of time has passed — two weeks, amonth, six months — rid your closet or shelfof any unused items.Step Two ::Trash, give or sellOnce you have accumulated your “get ridof” pile, begin sorting your items. Divide theminto three sections: trash, give or sell. Onceyou’ve separated them, consider donatingthem to a local clothing ministry or other servicelike Goodwill ( In Charlotte,check out The Free Store ( The Urban Ministry Center ( welcome your lightlyused,good condition donations.Should you decide to go the selling routeinstead, team up with some friends to organizea yard sale. Or, pack up your things nicelyand take them to the local Plato’s Closet tomake some quick cash. Whatever you decide,the items are off your hands and into thehands of someone who needs them!Step Three ::Lasting habitsIf maintaining a senseof simplicity is of value toyou, it’s important to seta few goals for yourself.First, create a way totrack your purchases;keep a rough limit ofpurchases you can makeper week or items youcan have in a room tokeep yourself in check.Also, keeping in touchwith people in need isa powerful way to keepyourself in check, rememberingfirst the needs ofothers before desires ofyour own.So go on — lightenup your space, free yourmind and help someoneelse out while you’re at it.Happy simplification! : :Photo Credit:Steven BurlesonMarch 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 21

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Heart to heartwith Hunxby Gregg ShapiroLed by Hunx (a.k.a. Seth Bogart),formerly of queer dance unit GravyTrain!!!!, Hunx & His Punx puts thegay back into garage on “Too Young To BeIn Love” (Hardly Art). Described as the first“proper” studio album by the band, the 10songs smell like black leather motorcyclejackets and boots, Brylcreem and Final Net,cigarettes and Dentyne. The band’s girl-groupgrind is filtered through Hunx’s distinctly queerperspective which is revved up on songs suchas “He’s Coming Back,” “Keep Away FromJohnny,” “The Curse of Being Young,” “IfYou’re Not Here (I Don’t Know Where You Are)”and “Tonite Tonite.” I spoke with Hunx shortlybefore he and the band embarked on tour.Gregg Shapiro: Your moniker Hunx (from thename of your band Hunx & His Punx) stemsfrom your time in the band Gravy Train!!!!.How did you come up with it?Hunx: That’s a good question. It rhymes withthe other names in the band [laughs]? It waskind of a nickname that my friend Chunx (fromGravy Train!!!!) used to call me.GS: A term of endearment?Hunx: Yeah.GS: When you were going through the processof coming up with a name for your ownband, were there other band names underconsideration before you selected Hunx &His Punx?Hunx: I don’t know why I decided that actually.It seemed appropriate, to bust out on my own[laughs].GS: Does your retaining the name indicatethat you consider there to be a through linefrom Gravy Train!!!! to Hunx & His Punx?Hunx: I don’t think so, no. I think that it wasnever my intention so I don’t know why Ipicked that name I just think Hunx is a coolname [laughs].GS: Like Gravy Train!!!!, Hunx & His Punx isa mixed gender band. How important is thatmix to you?Hunx: Well, I love being in bands with girls,number one. But I guess that’s all I reallyknow. So I have to say highly important.GS: Could you ever see yourself in an all maleband or would you really rather prefer to bein a mixed band?Hunx: It’d have to be like an all-gay supergroup. [laughs]GS: Who would be in the super group?Hunx: My friend Cody from The Sun. MylesCooper, the guys from Limp Wrist and, maybeJonny Make-Up? Like a really obnoxious, overthe top, gay group [laughs]GS: Okay. Did you grow up listening to the girlgroups of the sixties or did you seek out themusic on your own?Hunx: My parents listened to some of them,like The Supremes. And this is like reallyembarrassing but I think that I was really into(the movie) “Sister Act” [laughs], and likemen’s versions of girl groups. I got like reallyinto that as a kid.GS: So you would count the movie “SisterAct” as an influence among all the otherinfluences?Hunx: A huge influence.GS: Well, I bet Whoopi Goldberg would behappy to hear that.Hunx: I mean like a really early influence.GS: Many of the girl group hits were writtenby songwriting duos such as Barry Mann &Cynthia Weill, Carole King & Gerry Goffin,Ellie Greenwich & Jeff Barry. Do you have afavorite among those songwriting teams anda favorite song from that time as well?Hunx: I can’t even think of who wrote whatright now. I know Ellie Greenwich strikes abell with me.GS: She wrote “Leader Of The Pack.”Hunx: Yeah, yeah, yeah, her for sure. Didn’tEllie Greenwich write “Be My Baby”?GS: Yes, she co-wrote that with Phil Spectorand Jeff Barry, her other song writing partner.Hunx: That’s a good team!GS: Yes, in spite of Phil Spector being a littletouched.Hunx: Oh my god, have you read the RonnieSpector book?GS: No.Hunx: Oh my god, it’s crazy.GS: Did you hear her newest Christmas CD?see Hunx on 25March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 23

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Hunx showcases queer perspectivecontinued from page 23Hunx: No. I was totally not in a Christmas modethis year. But my friend saw her do a Christmasshow a few years ago and said it was the bestthing ever and I was such a fool for not going.GS: The songs on the album swing backand forth between the exhilaration of “He’sComing Back” to the sadness of “Too YoungTo Be In Love” and “If You’re Not Here (I Don’tKnow Where You Are), which has that greatline about teardrops on your telephone. Isthat an honest reflection of your outlook onlife, highs and lows?Hunx: It kind of is yeah. It’s a very honest look,and especially like musically because I guessI started writing about stuff more as like anoutlet, you know? If I was feeling really sad orlike heartbroken writing songs made me feelbetter. So, yeah, it totally is.GS: You have referred to Hunx & His Punx’smusic as “young oldies,” and youth and beingyoung figure prominently in songs such as“The Curse of Being Young” and the title cut“Too Young To Be In Love.” What age do youthink is the right age to be in love?Hunx: [laughs] There’s no right age to be inlove. I mean, I actually think being young andin love is really sweet. It’s just kind of a reflectionon looking back at being in love when Iwas really young and thinking it’s weird.GS: What was weird about it?Hunx: It’s just intense, I think. And it’s uncontrollable,something you can’t help, and it’skind of tragic, but also really amazing.GS: Was it unrequited love?Hunx: No, it wasn’t unrequited love. I guess Iwas in a super long relationship, like eight yearsor something, from when I was like 18…lookingback on it just seems like really intense.GS: Do you still speak with this ex?Hunx: Yeah, we’re friends now.qomunity qonexions uGS: Bad boys also play a significant role inthe songs “Keep Away From Johnny” and“Bad Boy.” Do you think it’s better to be a badboy or to be in love with one?Hunx: I think it’s better to be in love with a badboy. Because they’re really hot and at the endof the day you’re not as troubled as them evenif you’re sad about it.GS: Have you ever been in love with a bad boy?Hunx: I’ve never been in love with bad boysbut I’ve had many crushes, but they end upstraight so it doesn’t really go that far. Gaybad boys are kind of hard to come by. They’renot the kind I like. I mean I like gay boys a lot,don’t get me wrong, but gay bad boys kind oftake on a different look in my mind, and themeaning of what’s bad. Like, crystal meth I’mnot really that into it.GS: That’s good to hear. You’re going to beembarking on a tour in April and May 2011.What are you most looking forward to aboutthat tour?Hunx: Well, I love playing in the South. I can’twait to go to Nashville because I’ve neverbeen there.GS: Why do you like playing in the South?Hunx: I feel like people just get crazy. I don’tlike stopping in the South, like at truck stops.Gravy Train!!!! almost got killed a couple times.I enjoy small town gays, the South is reallyamazing. They’re almost crazier than people Iknow here. They come to the show and get alldressed up, they’re so cute. I’m excited to goto New Orleans. We’re playing at Quintron’shouse, who I really love and I haven’t seen ina long time. I’m just excited to go on our owntour, we’ve never done that in the United States.We’ve opened for bands here and there, butwe’ve never gone on like a major tour. So, I’mreally excited to do that. : :March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 25

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March 25-27 • CharlotteGayCharlotte Film FestivalThe Lesbian & Gay Community Center of Charlotte hosts its annual GayCharlotte Film Festival. Various 15-17 • CharlotteQueen City StompHundreds of participants from across the country and southeast flock to Charlotte for Southern Country Charlotte’s annualQueen City Stomp, an LGBT Country-Western dancing festival including evening parties and dances and daytime dancinglessons and more. For more information, including registration, event details and lodging options, visit 19 • CharlottePetra’s Got TalentPetra’s begins a search for huge talent.Calling all performers: vocalists, instrumentalists,dancers, comedians, drag performers,stupid dog tricks and more! Cash prizes forthe top three and bookings for first place. for official contestantrules. Audience will decide the winner. Petra’sPiano Bar and Cabaret, 1919 CommonwealthAve. 10 p.m.-midnight.March 22 • CharlotteCreative ShowcaseStudent artists and designers at the ArtInstitute of Charlotte will exhibit their worksfor fellow students, faculty, staff and the public.Knight Theatre, Levine Center for the Arts.7 p.m. 22 • CharlotteBonds Across PondsTEDxCharlotte, Crossroads Charlotte,International House and McColl Center forVisual Art team up for for this special conversationon making friendships and bondsacross lines of difference. 721 N. Tryon St.6:30-9:30 p.m. 24 • DurhamSame-sex domestic violenceShades of Pride, Imani MetropolitanCommunity Church and Calvary UnitedMethodist Church present, “Coming Outof the Closet about Same Sex DomesticViolence.” The event is free and open to thepublic. Representatives from Interact and theDurham Crisis Center will be on hand to provideinformation, share resources and answerquestions. Guest speaker, Rev. Dr. AleeseMoore-Orbin. Calvary United MethodistChurch, 304 E. Trinity Ave. 6-8:30 p.m.March 25-26 • Charlotte‘When We No Longer Touch’One Voice Chorus and other local musiciansincluding soprano Jenny Chen perform“When We No Longer Touch” by KristopherAnthony. Heaton Hall, Myers Park BaptistChurch, 1900 Queens Rd. 7:30 p.m. $15/adult.$10/student. 26 • GreensboroGGF GalaGuilford Green Foundation hosts its annualGala. Cocktails, small plates and silentauction, followed by dessert and coffee,and music and dancing. Proximity Hotel, 704Green Valley Rd. 7:30 p.m.-midnight. For moreinformation and to purchase tickets, 26 • CharlotteBootcamp 2011Just Twirl presents “Boocamp 2011 — Ask.Tell. Twirl.” with DJ Duo Travis and Eric.Military-theme attire suggested, but notrequired. Visulite Theatre, 1615 Elizabeth Ave.9 p.m. 21+. Tickets and more info 26 • CharlotteunderBEAR PartyWoodshed Lounge and Bear Encounters hosttheir “underBEAR Party.” Woodshed Lounge,10 p.m. 4000 Queen City Dr. 27 • Durham‘Over Jordan’Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus presents “OverJordan — A Sunday Afternoon GospelCelebration.” A TGMC fundraising event,with special guest gospel music sensationMr. Robin Davis. VIP ticket package includescatered lunch and concert, $35. Concert only,$15. Tickets at www, River Unitarian Unversalist Fellowship,4907 Garrett Rd. 2-4 p.m.March 31 • CharlotteUNCC Pride Drag ShowPride, the LGBT student organization at theUniversity of North Carolina-Charlotte, hostsits annual drag show, “Scarlet Fever.” Theevent will raise funds for AIDS Walk Charlotte.UNCC Student Union on Craver Rd. 8 p.m.For maps and directions, visit 31 • Raleigh‘Sing for the Cure’ Kick-Off SocialThe Common Woman Chorus, the TriangleGay Men’s Chorus and The Mint host a casualevent to promote the upcoming Trianglepremiere performance of “Sing for the Cure.”Proceeds benefit the choruses and Susan G.Komen for the Cure-NC Triangle. Cash bar,free appetizers. Suggested donation of $20.The Mint, 219 Fayetteville St. 6-8 1-3 • Chapel HillSoutheastern Unity ConferenceThe GLBTSA at the University of NorthCarolina hosts their annual, progressive gatheringof LGBTIQ students, young adults andothers dedicated to creating dialogue, exploringstrategies for grassroots organization andsupporting common activism. The student-runconference is held on the UNC campus and isopen to the greater LGBT and allied community.For more information on conferenceevents and registration, visit 2 • CharlotteAmazing Race Bar Crawl[Ed. Note — This event was originally scheduledfor March 5 and has been rescheduledfor this date.] The Regional AIDS Interfaithwe want your who/what/whereNetwork (RAIN) hosts their annual AmazingRace Bar Crawl. Teams compete througha series of bars to complete the race andraise money for RAIN and its services. Eventbegins at Brixx Wood Fired Pizza, 225 E. 6th 2 • Chapel HillBreaking Generation Silent:Facing the needs and challenges ofLGBT eldersThis free event kicks off with a viewing ofthe one-hour 2010 documentary film, “GenSilent,” focusing on the realities that manyLGBT seniors are facing: the need to go backinto the closet to avoid discrimination from agingproviders and bullying from fellow seniorsin long-term care settings. A panel discussionwill follow to further explore the social,medical and financial needs of LGBT elders.Registration is encouraged: William and Ida Friday Center, 100 FridayCenter Dr. 1-4 p.m. 919-962-6418. 3 • Raleigh‘Over Jordan’Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus presents “OverJordan — A Sunday Afternoon GospelCelebration.” A TGMC fundraising event, withspecial guest gospel music sensation Mr.Robin Davis. Church of the Good Shepherd,121 Hillsborough St. 2-4 p.m. VIP ticket packageincludes catered lunch and concert, $35.Concert only, $15. Tickets 8-17 • Winston-SalemRiverRun Film FestA bevy of cinema venues and other spacesacross the City of Arts make way for thisyear’s RiverRun International Film Festival.Sponsored by the Winston-Salem/ForsythCounty Arts Council and Reynolds American,among others, the 10-day event features avariety of feature-length and short films fromall genres and across the world. A specialscreening of “We Were Here,” a documentaryexploring the impact of HIV/AIDS in 1980sSan Francisco will be presented at varioustimes and venues April 15-17. For more informationon venues, films, tickets and more,visit 9 • Belmont20th Anniversary AIDS WalkJoin House of Mercy’s 20th Anniversary Walkfor AIDS to raise AIDS awareness and fundsto benefit the organization’s low-incomeresidents living with advanced AIDS. First300 walkers raising $50 or more will receiveWalk T-shirts. Sotte Voce of One Voice Chorusand Honorary Walk Chair Eric Thomas,WBTV Meteorologist, will welcome walkersat 10 a.m. A picnic reception with musicon the House of Mercy grounds follows theQqnotes entertainment. news. views.three-mile walk through historic downtownBelmont. See for donation forms, map and teaminformation.April 15-17 • CharlotteQueen City StompHundreds of participants from across thecountry and southeast flock to Charlotte forSouthern Country Charlotte’s annual QueenCity Stomp, an LGBT Country-Western dancingfestival including evening parties anddances and daytime dancing lessons andmore. For more information, including registration,event details and lodging options, 17 • Durham‘Sing for the Cure’ Kick-Off SocialCommon Woman Chorus and Triangle GayMen’s Chorus co-host a casual event topromote the upcoming Triangle premiereperformance of “Sing for the Cure” on June12 at the Meymandi Concert Hall. Proceedsbenefit the choruses and Susan G. Komen forthe Cure-NC Triangle. Cash bar, free appetizers.Suggested donation of $20. RevolutionRestaurant, 107 W. Main St. 3-6 23 • CharlottePlaza Midwood Spring PartyMusic from more than half a dozen bands andmusicians. Artwork from community artists.Food from the Diamond. This and more atthe Plaza Midwood Spring Party, hosted byPetra’s. 1919 Commonwealth 3 • CharlotteWalk against domestic violenceThe Avon Foundation presents Walk theCourse Against Domestic Violence. Walk upto 18 holes (5 miles) alongside tournamentplayers’ wives and families at Quail HollowClub, a PGA TOUR course, to raise funds andawareness for the domestic violence cause.All proceeds benefit local domestic violenceorganizations. $35 per person ($25 before4/22), under 12 free. Quail Hollow Club, 3700Gleneagles Rd. 6-9 p.m. 7 • CharlotteAIDS Walk CharlotteOne of the largest AIDS fundraisers acrossthe Carolinas, AIDS Walk Charlotte raisesfunds for the Regional AIDS InterfaithNetwork. To register walk teams or learnmore, visit an event for inclusion in our calendarhas never been easier: visit 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes 27

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