March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

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March 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

[Note fromthe author— The lyricsof “When I’mSixty-Four”by Lennon/McCartney arethroughout thearticle. Enjoy!]In 1967, the Beatles came out with theirwonderful album (yes, I mean LP, vinyl disk),“Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band.” I was12 years old, on the edge of entering my teenageyears, in Maplewood, N.J., and I savedmy money for this album with an incrediblyintricate, psychedelically colorful cover.While my parents tolerated (barely) parts ofthe album, the one song they enjoyed was thehonky-tonk “When I’m 64!” In many ways,it was a musical bridge for my parents andme, in which our generations met each other.Now and then I would hear my mom and dadwhistle the tune at various times of the dayas they did chores around the house or whiledriving us to various activities.Today, I am a combination of my parents.And, what Beatles Lennon and McCartneyon being a gay parentby brett webb-mitchell :: qnotes contributorWhen I get older, Losing my hair…foretold is coming to pass: I’ve lost some hair,thanks to a natural receding hairline; I’m fairlycertain my partner would lock the door atquarter of three in the morning; he needs areminder about Valentine’s Day, birthdays, andthe like; and I buy my own bottle of wine. He ishandy in mending a fuse, though neither of usknit. I am the cook in the family, and he is thedishwasher. And, while I do not have grandchildren(yet) bouncing on my knee, I enjoyedbouncing both children upon my knees. Isavored the time when they’d tumbled off ofmy back as a bucking bronco onto the familyroom’s carpeted floor when they were young.I still tease my 18-year-old son that I can runfaster than he can (yes, this is a challenge).I am in the middle of my journey, mypilgrimage of this life. This morning I was toldby my “younger” partner that I was “nearingretirement,” though being a scholar-activistdoes not pay much in terms of a retirementaccount. While I laugh and make great goofyfaces with younger parents and their infants,I sigh and tell them I used to have young childrentoo, oh, 20 years ago. Or, when I receiveemails from abroad from a dad who is on thecusp of leaving his wife who has recentlygiven birth in his journey ofcoming out, I gulp and rememberthat I did something similar13 years ago. And, those gaymen who were my mentors incoming out, demanding justicewhere I used to teach, strugglingto figure out how to live withanother self-assured Americanmale, are now in retirement on a farawayisland in the Pacific, Palm Springs or haverecently died, including my dad.While not a grandparent (yet), I realize thatthe Beatles song that I sang lustily when I was12 years old is starting to ring true in my 50s.Who I am today is so not in the realm of whoI thought I would be at that age, which is agood thing. I find myself giving more talks andkeynote speeches on being a gay dad to youngand younger audiences of people consideringthe possibility of parenthood as out lesbians orVIEWSgays. I sat down (finally) with a financial adviserto see if I’m doing alright for my retirement. And,I am attending “Breaking Generation Silent”on Saturday, April 2, 2011, at UNC-Chapel Hill’sFriday Center, learning about the justice issuesfacing aging pioneers of the LGBTQ movement.Then on Sunday morning, with my partner drivingand dogs in the back of his Cherokee Jeep,we’ll simply go for a ride in the bucolic Carolinaback roads, chatting with my kids via cellphone, or whistling a song that I learned when Iwas a young boy in New Jersey. : :talkbackWBTV’s anti-gaysensationalismIn response to “Correcting the record:WBTV’s anti-gay and sensationalistic tabloidism”(goqnotes.com/10136/) and “WBTVreport on public sex questioned” (goqnotes.com/10106/).And what do you expect from CharlotteNC? Reasonable media influence. Fire andbrimstone from Heaven is more likely. Ihave grown to despise the South and it’sTalibangelical influence.— kit, Feb. 24, webI thought Charlotte had gone forward as astar of the new south.Of course there are always some peoplerooted in the dark days of human history, whoneed someone to demonize and hate.All you have to do is look at the hatredand BS tossed at our first Black President tounderstand what parts of America are about.Gay is the new [n-word] to some people whoLetters to the editor and comments from goqnotes.com.Web comments are not edited for grammar or punctuation.dare to call themselves christian.I have no objection to sending themselvesto hell, but they could do it with out hurtingother people. Just go work on the sabbath,eat pig and shellfish, wear clothes made ofdiffering kinds of cloth etc etc.Freedom to send themselves to hell isfreedom so richly deserved. Especially fortheir ministers who also often justify slaveryas per the bible.— Stan James, Feb. 28, webN.C.’s marriage fightIn response to “’Game on’ in Tar Heel marriagefight” (goqnotes.com/10292/).It’s clear that amendments in other stateshave been used to impact things other thanmarriage.Here’s a link to one Michigan SupremeCourt decision:http://courts.michigan.gov/supremecourt/Clerk/11-07/133429/133429-Opinion.pdfConsidering the NC Supreme Court’s baffling5-2 ruling in the recent Boseman v. Jarrellcase, who knows what they would twist out ofa marriage amendment — especially one writtenas broadly as Senators Forrester, Tillman,Soucek and their co-sponsors propose.—Appellation, March 5, webI am gay, and support this amendment.Sorry, but if you try and fight this amendmentwith scare tactics and bullying, I, along withall other gay North Carolinians who are notfar-left nuts, will make sure that our voices areheard as well. This will be on the ballot, and itwill be passed. Sorry, but you do not speak forall gay people, especially me. Take your anti-Republican hate speech and misinformationsomeplace else.— Steven, March 5, web@Steve 5th, Mar, 2011Why are you against two guys getting married?The marriage affects nobody but the twoIN it! It doesn’t affect anybody else’s marriage!Also, this story isn’t “repbublican-bashing”…it’sjust matter-of-factly citing what someindividuals who are republican have said.—Ed, March 5, webMarch 19-April 1 . 2011 qnotes

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