QNIssue_110108 web - QNotes

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QNIssue_110108 web - QNotes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionTell Trinityby Trinity . Contributing WriterBeing single: Is it a curse ora blessingQ - L I V I N GHello Trinity,If another telemarketer callsme I’ll jump out a window. Doyou have any suggestions for dealingwith those inhumane pests?Tele-Troubles, Boston, Mass.Hello Tele-Troubles,Before you start jumping, drinking or drivingoffthe road,honey,put your cell or homephone down and read:Q - N O T E SDearest Trinity,It seems like all my friends are in relationships.And me, I’m still a bachelor. Why are somepeople doomed to being single forever?Unhappy Bachelor, Montreal, Canada Trinity’s Terrific Tips For DealingDearest Bachelor,With Telemarketers(The phone rings and you pick up)Being alone, paying bills alone and goingto bed alone can get depressing, day after day, 1. The Direct Approach: “I’m not interested!”night after night, hour after…damn, now I’m followed by a polite,“Thank you. Good-bye!”depressed. Listen, some people are single2. The Hurried Approach: “I only have abecause they haven’t found the right problem, moment.” followed by,“Sorry, honey, I’mI mean person, or it’s their spiritual time outout of time!” (You click.)from relationships to discover just how miserable,I mean wonderful, they are. Being ahot! Can you send me a picture of you3. The Sexual Approach: “You’re voice soundshealthy bachelor means going to single events, first? I’m really not that unattractive!”parties and socials as well as joining religious, (They click!)athletic, intellectual and/or special interest4. The Religious Approach: “Jesus doesn’t letgroups. Remember, pumpkin, if you keep tryingeventually your odds will change. That’s“God bless you dear!” (You click.)me take these calls.” followed by a sweet,the thrillQof dating.-5. The DisasterNApproach: “Oh God! I’veObeenT E SHey Trinity,in and out of hospitals! My lover left me!Why would someone choose to be gay if it’s so Can you take care of me?” (They beginhard? Why wouldn’t they just be quiet about it or to cry.)go straight?6. The Giddy/Overzealous Approach: “I loveConfused, Montgomery, Ala. that... ha...! I... ha, ha... love, love, I loveHey Confused,You are confused! People don’t choose tobe gay,they do,however,choose to be openabout it, to be comfortable with it and to beproud of it. Yes, being gay is hard, but noharder than being a Republican. Eventually,sweetie, we all have to be true to ourselvesor die. And, once someone gets used tosomething difficult it’s no longer difficult.It’s as easy as voting for change on Nov. 4and watching America blossom again. Vote!(I’ll show you how this works if you readmy cartoon.)everything you’re saying! (Uncontrollablelaughing) Haaaaa, ha ha…!” (They click.)7. The Childhood-Regression Approach: “Mymommy doesn’t let me buy things on thetel-e-phone. Can you play with me?”(Begin crying until they hang up.)8. The Deceased Approach: “Oh she diedmonths ago. Would you like the personhandling her estate? Thank you for calling!”(Funeral parlor music plays inbackground.)9. The Paranoid Approach: “Why must youcall me? Why do want to hurt me? Hello!Have you hung up on me again?” (TheyQ -start therapy.)N O T E S10. The Confused Approach: “I don’t understandwhat you want from me? I needmore time to figure it all out! Where am I?Who Am I?” (They quit their job!) ◗— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinitywas host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weeklyradio drama, and now performs globally.info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.comTell Trinity, 1617 Rue Champlain, Montreal, QC H2L2S5Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild800-637-8696 . www.ptown.orgDear Trinity,Is love itself enough of a reason to start arelationship? And is love enough to keep a relationshipgoing?QWhat’s Enough, Tucson,-Ariz.N O T E SDear Enough,Yes, love is a great reason to start a relationshipand, yes, it’s enough to keep itgoing, but unfortunately not forever. Lovechanges every day forcing the relationshipitself to take over where love started. Alwayswork on the love, but work even harder onthe relationship. In other words, darling, letlove inspire you to start a relationship butlet your relationship inspire you to understandlove!NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 33Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

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