inside - Seren - Bangor University

serenOctober 2001 Official English-language newspaper of UWB Students’ Union http://seren.bangor.ac.ukinsideGrants to return?--------------- News page 2SU budget set- In the Union page 5Shaolin Monks----------- Culture page 9Gorky’s interview----------- Music page 11American Pie 2--------- Movies page 13Gamecube arrives--------- Games page 17Welsh vs English----- Features page 19BUSA report------------ Sport page 23Local event guide-------- Listings page 24Bomb scaresStudents’ Union steps up security after repeated police alertsReport byCATHERINE WALKERNews EditorOVER THE the past two weeks,Bangor has been the target of severalbomb scares throughout thecity centre. Packages discoveredhave been described as suspiciousand the city’s police have beenplaced on high alert, along witharmy organizations such as the TA,as a consequence.Tuesday 9th October saw thefirst incident. Police confirmed thata “suspicious device” had beenfound in the public toilets nearthe bus station on Ffordd Gwynedd.Bomb disposal officers conducteda controlled explosion ofthe device and were seen leavingthe scene in protective clothing,accompanied by the squad’s robot.Members of the public and stafffrom buildings in the vicinity wereevacuated to Deniol Road to awaitthe all clear.The occurrence of bomb scareshas since escalated. On Monday15th, Garth Road was evacuatedand cordoned off due to another“suspicious package” discovered atCity centre streets are closed to the public as police investigate suspicious packagesthe TA youth centre on that road.Once again, the army’s bomb disposalexperts were drafted in todeal with the situation.A third scare occurred onWednesday 17th, when anotherpackage was found in the toiletsat Littlewoods. It is believed thata controlled explosion was undertaken,and there were rumours thatsome kind of powder was emitted.A number of local businesseswere closed during the day andonly allowed to re-open later inthe evening. Some stores, such asThresher’s, were forced to remainclosed all night.contd. page 2

su@seren.bangor.ac.uk IN THE UNION SEREN October 2001 5Balancing the booksEdited highlights of the SU’s financial forecastSU FeedbackLet Management Know…Send these to Seren: we’llanalyse the results and letmanagement know what youwant.On Monday 22nd October, CCSOMatt Tapping presented to Seneddhis proposed allocation of theUnion’s income for the presentacademic year. His proposals wereaccepted, though they must stillbe approved at a General Meetingbefore they can be acted upon.These are some of the more interestingaspects:♦ This year we’ve got £508,000.This is slightly more than lastyear, although the Union’sservices won’t be gettingmuch more, because:♦ The University has increasedthe “cost of living” allowancewe have to pay employees.Therefore we have to payour staff (and some of theCompany’s) a total of£326,000, which is 64% ofthe Union’s cash. This leaves36% of the Union’s cash(£182,000) for the serviceswe offer.♦ The AU gets £46,950, whichis 25% of the remaining cash(9% of the overall Unionbudget).♦ Clubs and Societies get afeeble £5,994, or 3% of theremaining cash (1% of thetotal Union budget).♦ Standing Committees (ofwhich 14 out of 27 arerepresented) receive in all£5,970, again 3% of theavailable funds, or 1% of thetotal funds of the Union.As well as that, we’ve agreed toallocate, but not yet pay, £33,000(6.5% of our overall budget, 18% ofour costs after staff wages) to theNUS. This covers our affiliationfee, although we are currentlylooking into what our benefits ofUnion membership are. The othersignificant cost is the GeneralExpenses allocation, which coversmost other things: this stands at£47,000, which is 26% of the poststaffcosts (9% of the overall Unionbudget). In comparison to previousyears, these are my observations:♦ Campaigns have requested£750 again when last year,when the requested the sameamount, they spent only £600,despite various large-scalecampaigns.♦ Elections allocation: the Unionintends to get more people tovote, and therefore more cashneeds to be spent to achievethis, yet this is not recognisedby its distribution.♦ General Meeting allocation: inmy view this is too low, takinginto consideration of the costsincurred and spending lastyear.♦ LGB have been granted nearlyfive times as much as theyspent last year on nearly thesame allocation (£470 lastyear, £480 this year).♦ Mature Students group has£100—last year none wasgranted; this year there is anofficer.♦ Women’s Group have beengranted £100; last year theyonly spent £6 from anallocation of £220.♦ The Senedd allocation is toolow if Senedd is to functionproperly.Of course, the budget can beamended in the future, and at thetime of writing is still to have thescrutiny of the General Meeting,where I suspect that it will beapproved. A report of the Budgetdebate and the other importantdebates (and perhaps those notquite so important debates) in thenext issue… if you’ve got anythingyou want to be included, or anycomments on this section, let meknow (su@seren.bangor.ac.uk)and it could be included.Bob ConnertonI think my Union needs/should provide:_____________________________________________________________________________________Year of study:_________________I live in:_________________Signed (if you want):_________________

6 SEREN October 2001 IN THE UNION su@seren.bangor.ac.uk“As long as students want the buildingto open at night, it will continue to do so.”Vicky Parry, Communications, Clubs and Societies Officer 1999-2000Service with a smile?Bob Connerton asks the Union’s General Manager Mike Lawler about SU servicesWe are all aware of studenthardship. But Undeb Trading—thecommercial arm of the Students’Union—appears to have taken itupon itself to ease this situationby restricting the services it offersto a few hours per week. By diminishingits services, it prevents usfrom spending our cash there. Sowe go elsewhere: we have nochoice but to. We could be supportingour Union, and helping itto help us, but the Company directors,in their infinite wisdom, feelthat we should not.Fat Freddy’s (for that is whatit was called) was once under thedirect control of the students. Ifwe, the students, were not happywith the prices charged, we loweredthem. We can no longer dothis. We have problems trying toget food in the Union at all: cateringstops by 3pm each week-day.It is “uneconomical” for the shopto be open after 5pm. After 4pmwe can’t book tickets to escapefrom Bangor and support our Students’Union at the same time.The fact that the Students’ Unionoffers food and drink on a Wednesdayis, in the words of the GeneralManage, really only “to benefit visitingteams.”We can’t even do our laundry atweekends in the Union any more.We used to be able to do our laundryand have a drink and watchTV all in the same building—thesame floor even. We could rely onporters to assist us without questionsbeing asked about whether“There is nodemand to openthe building atweekends.”Mike Lawlerit was economical to secure thebuilding. Other departments werenot burdened, neither were collegeresources strained. Accordingto Union sources, the problemwith opening at weekends ispaying weekend staff. Many peopledo not come to the Union at weekends,so the Union provides noservice. You can’t even get intothe building during the day.Mike Lawler responds that thereis “no demand” for opening thebuilding at weekends. On the issueof Sunday lunches, once offeredby the Catering crew of the Union,the demand “faded away.” Heattributes this to the arrival ofSafeway, which he describes as“more convenient and cost-efficientfor halls students.” When Iask whether I will ever again beable to do my laundry at the Unionat weekends, I am told that “everysuggestion will receive full consideration.”The problem is that“management doesn’t know whatour students want” from theirUnion—although it does have the“ability to deliver most things.”Management recognises thatthe Union and Company do notmarket themselves well. Anattempt to secure funding for promotionwas rejected by the DTIon the basis of the Union’s “closelinks with the University.” Perhapsit is time for the University togrant us more cash so that we canmarket ourselves properly. For theCompany it is “a serious issue.”Plans already exist to change thedreary-faced image of the Union.We have a proposal that willinvolve “major changes to the cosmeticappearance” of the building,viz. a “major development involvingthe frontage of the building.”The appearance of the Union hasnot progressed since the 1970s.I believe the company puts profitsbefore services; but those whohave been involved in commerce(or even those with a basic academicgrasp of commerce) willrealise that out in the real world(i.e., not Union land) one may haveto make leaps to make profits: onehas to show initiative occasionally.“Managementdoesn’t knowwhat ourstudents want.”Mike LawlerThe catering section of the companyneeds to realise that it willnot make major profits the way itcurrently works. People want goodfood at a reasonable price andregular, suitable hours: it needs tobe able to sell it to customers.Awareness needs to be raised.The 9-5 day is no longer thede facto working model, particularlyfor students. Last year I hadirregular hours at the Union, andabout six out of ten times when Iwanted decent junk-food (I reallywanted nice food, but junk-foodhad to do) I couldn’t get it inthe Union. In most cases therewas nowhere open; in other casesthey simply had not got theirorders right—commercial suicide.Another problem is the appallingstaffing situation in the evenings:two people are expected to serveup to 1350 customers. It’s impossible.People walk away fromthe incredibly long wait due toour understaffing—give more studentswork say I.Our competitiors offer far moreinteresting, appetising and costeffectivemenus than the Company.They also serve booze. TheGeneral Manager states that theStudents’ Union provides value formoney via “preferential bar prices”to its members and their guests;but getting an alcoholic drink inthe Union is a nightmare duringthe day. Before we had our 1amlicense we could open in the daytime.Now we only have a Wednesdaylicense. Students will drink inthe afternoons: we could attemptto discourage them and try to convincethem that lectures aren’t awaste of time, but in the meantimethe Company is losing out onmore money. What the Companyneeds to do is to listen to whatconsumers want, how much theyare prepared to pay and their lifestylesand hours of demand.

community@seren.bangor.ac.uk COMMUNITY SEREN October 2001 7Wildlife volunteers wantedLlandudno’s Great Orme nature reserveNorth Wales Wildlife Trust runsover thirty nature reserves, and islooking for volunteers.The Trust runs a children’s club(Wildlife Watch), publishes a bilingualnewsletter three times a year,works with the community to protectwildlife, and does practicalwork for conservation of the naturalenvironment and preservationof biodiversity. They also organiseevents the public can take partin, for free or a small fee, suchas visits, lectures, fungus forays,and guided nature walks. Informationsheets on reserves arepublished. Practical jobs of volunteersinclude wardening, surveying,and working on conservationprojects.There are about six reserves onAnglesey, sixteen in Gwynedd,and ten in Conwy and Clwyd.Reserves include Crafnant, CorsGoch, and the Great Orme. Threatenedor fragile species in the areainclude greater spotted woodpeckers,arctic terns, yellowhammers,silver-studded blue butterflies,badgers, bee orchids, and primroses.The Trust has branches in Anglesey,Conwy Valley, Glaslyn (Birdgroup), Wrexham & Dee Valley,Denbighshire, Meirionnydd, Pensychnant(Bird group), Arfon (ournearest branch), and Clwyd.Seren spoke to Bleddyn Williams,who produces the NWWTnewsletter and also does admin& IT work at the Trust. We alsospoke to Neil Griffiths, ReservesManager, who is in charge ofthe volunteers. Neil said that anykind of volunteers are wanted.They should be keen, enthusiastic,active, and reasonably fit, andhave stout footwear (i.e. steel toecaps,if possible) and old clothes.They can be picked up for freefrom Bangor at the branch officesnear Kwiksave in the High Street.All tools and equipment are providedby the Trust, and training isfree. Work involves general habitatmanagement, scrub-clearing,path clearance, step-making, andfence repair.To get volunteering call NeilGriffiths, or Conservation OfficerChris Wynne, on (01248) 351541and ask about the Woodland WorkGroup (number same for generalcalls).For less active people still interestedin wildlife, there are somefun events coming up in the localarea (see right; and on December3rd Bangor’s NWWT produces itsnew newsletter, with listings up toEaster).BANGOREnid Griffiths (01248) 35171430th October 7.30pm MemorialBuilding, Deiniol Rd: Frances &Peter Martin, “Peru”23rd November 7pm John PhillipsHall: Robert Swan, “Ice Talk” (Polarregions) £3 students, tickets fromNWWT office27th November 7.30pm MemorialBuilding, Deiniol Rd: Charles Aron,“Butterflies & Other Insects”12th December Treborth BotanicalGardens, NWWT Arfon & UniversityBird Group Christmas PartyANGLESEYPenny Radford (01248) 7130221st November 2pm St Cyngar’sChurch Hall, Llangefni: “RavensGalore” Research at a raven roost inAnglesey, £2 inc refreshments9th November 7.30pm, Pili Palas,Menai Bridge: Neil Crumpton leadsa discussion on energy sources andthe environment.6th December 2pm St Cyngar’sChurch Hall, Llangefni: David Cowleyon the Biodiversity Action Plan, £2inc refreshmentsCONWYRon Elias (01492) 8770669th November 7.30pm St David’sChurch Hall, Penrhyn Bay: JohnUnderwood & Peter Roberts, wardens,give an illustrated talk on Rhiwledyn& Bryn Pydew reserves.WREXHAMMabyn Pickering (01978) 35845014th November Quakers’ MeetingHall, Holt Road: Dave & Sigrun Tollerton:“Trip to the Galapagos”Addicts suspected inUniversity car park theftsCapital marchesagainst warReport byJAMES DAWSONA SPATE of thefts from cars parkedby the Brigantia Psychology buildingis being blamed on heroinaddicts. It is believed that they havebeen moved into the area by GwyneddCouncil from the Maesgeirchenestate. On 1st October two carsparked in the car park were brokeninto and items snatched. The policewere called, and told the studentsinvolved that two houses, one onThe Crescent and a second near tothe Brigantia building, had recentlybeen converted into houses fordrug addicts after residents onthe Maesgeirchen estate had complainedof their presenceThe police told the victims thatthe stolen items could probably befound in the bushes that line thesteps leading down to Penrallt. Theitems, including the victim’s passport,were indeed later discoveredwhere the police had predicted,with only loose change being taken.Brigantia car park: scene of the theftsMore worryingly, however, UniversitySecurity staff informed the victimsthat they were aware thatseveral cars had been broken into,yet the CCTV cameras were not inuse. No warning had been given tostudents about the lack of safety onthe car park and steps, or the presenceof drug users in an area heavilypopulated by students.A diverse crowd gatheredto protest against warFifty thousand people attendedthe march and rally for peace andjustice and to oppose the war onAfghanistan in London on Saturday13th October. Significant featuresof the demonstration werethe participation of a great manypeople from Asian and Arab communitiesand the very considerablepresence of young people.Together with people of all agesand the many contingents of peaceactivists this was a very movingdemonstration of opposition to governmentpolicy. The crowd in TrafalgarSquare was such that itwas difficult to hear all the speakers.All politicians were very wellreceived and included DarrenJohnson and Caroline Lucas MEPfrom the Green Party and MarkSeddon, Alan Simpson MP andPaul Marsden MP from Labour.Tony Benn was out of the countrybut sent greetings and MarkSeddon, Tribune editor brought thegreetings of Michael Foot. PaulMarsden MP expressed the concernthat there had as yet been novote in parliament regarding themilitary action. Palestinian speakerAfif Safiah, the leader of the LondonIslamic Centre, a speaker fromthe Afghani community and SalimaYakoob, Chair of the BirminghamCoalition against the War were allwarmly received. Salima spoke ofthe isolation she had experiencedas a consequence of the racismgenerated by the attack on theWTC and the response of retaliationand revenge. She has beenshunned by other parents at herchildren’s playground and spat aton the streets.Maggie Simpson

culture@seren.bangor.ac.uk CULTURE SEREN October 2001 9The Culture Clubwith your very own Kirsty HarrisonHello minions. It was my 21stbirthday last week, and due tothe fact I have been pickled eversince, this section is slightly undercooked.I apologise. There’s stilla couple of interesting things toread though and two competitionsto enter—ye olde poetrycompetition and a chance to winthe Ann Summers Little Book ofSex (reviewed below). Oh, and theanswer to the question for thecompetition isn’t on this page. It’sBOOK REVIEWThe LittleBook of SexAnn Summers, Ebury Press £5.99If you need help to spice up yoursex life, then this fun and raunchylittle book gives plenty of tips andideas that might inspire you. It’sfairly explicit, the pictures leavinglittle to the imagination, and eventhose that think they know everythingthere is to know aboutsex are sure to find something inhere that will surprise them. However,much of it is pretty obviousstuff—there isn’t a lot in therenot a stupid easy question alongthe lines of “Where does ManchesterUnited play?” so thinking capson, people. The winner of lastissue’s prestigious £5 was Mr IanFallon with “Rhyme of the InfatuatedStudent.” And rhyme it doesindeed.Mr Fallon has since been givenhis prize, which was received witha grunt and spent rapidly onbooze. I expect future winners tobe far more polite.that most people couldn’t comeup with themselves with a littleimagination. But if you need akick-start, or if you feel you’velead a sheltered life then this bookis a good introduction. And nomatter how experienced, knowledgeableand mature you thinkyou are, some of the pictures willstill produce a giggle and elicitsome sort of a dildo debate—whatis that knobbly bit for anyway?[Clitoral stimulation, or so I’m told—Culture Ed.]This book is blatantly an advertfor Ann Summers products with abunch of fill-in bits. It’s definitelyaimed at the heterosexual woman(tut tut), but the advice is worth aread and if nothing else you haveto see the picture on page 20, it’llFor a chance to win this outrageous piece of filth...Just e-mail me at the address up there with the answer to this mind-numbingly simple question:Which female tycoon now runs the Ann Summers Company and Knickerbox?Well? You have nooo idea, do you? Huzzah! I can keep it! K. xSky One sent me a press releasethe other day, proclaiming the joysof Yu-Gi-Oh! a new Japanese animationapparently set to surpass thesuccess of Pokémon. The “adventure”begins [began?—Calendar Ed.]on October 20th at 9.30am. If youlike that sort of thing, then watchit. If you don’t. Good. If you haveSky, then you are the envy of thousands.That is all. Teeny tiny editorial,teeny tiny brain.make you laugh—and can somebodybuy the poor boy a properporn mag? I’m sure the Ann Summerscatalogue was not meant forthat! Emma AllmandThe Shoalin Monks reveal the oriental mysteries of the pointy stickKirsty , spoetrYkornerWelcome back to poetry corner people! Congrats to thismonth’s £5 winner—spend it wisely!If you think you can impress me further, then you knowexactly what you can do about it! Write a poem, send mea flaming e-mail, or drop into the office and stick ‘em inmy Culture pigeonhole. Then I, the all-knowing poetry goddess,shall pick a winner and shower them with gifts. Oranother £5. Excellent. Carry on.Rhyme of the Infatuated StudentI met this cute girl and she’s smart and she’s great,The only thing is that I met her too lateCos she now knows this guy who supplies her with gearAnd she hangs out with stoners nine tenths of the year.It’s so hard to tell her just how I feel,When most of the time she can’t tell what is real.I’ve tried to explain what I know in my heartBut try as I might it just seems that I can’t…Out friendship means most—I can’t risk harming that—So why, when I see her, do I act like a twat?by Ian FallonAged 22 1/3 rdThe Shaolinmust go onSHOW REVIEWShaolinMonks:Wheel of LifeNorth Wales Theatre, Llandudno,1st October 2001If you’ve only vaguely heard ofthe Shaolin Monks then you’reprobably with the majority of thepopulation but if you know ofthem then you’ll know that theirshow “The Wheel of Life” is oneof the most phenomenally fantasticKung-Fu fests you will eversee. Apart from the fact thatnow they’ve gone back to China(forever!—Alarmist Ed.), this orangecladreligious order trains fromvery young (literally—the youngestmonk was five, so cute) to balancethemselves on spears, break ironrods over their heads (no, really)and move almost faster than youcan follow, and are fantastic. Ofcourse, this reviewer is in no waybiased, since they waved at me inthe car park afterwards.The story of the “Wheel of Life”is as follows: a troupe of ShaolinMonks is invited by the Emperor tohis palace. The Emperor, impressedby the Monks’ skills, asks themto protect his palace from aninvading force. A fierce battlethen takes place from which theMonks emerge triumphant. Whenthe Monks decline the Emperor’ssubsequent invitation to serve himpermanently at court, he feelsthreatened by their superior “Shaolinforce.” He then attempts toslaughter the Monks and, out ofthis tragic scene, five children, nowcelebrated as the “Five Ancestors,”survive and continue to spread ZenBuddhism and the art of ShaolinKung Fu throughout the land. Coolstory, no? The story is told lavishlyand exotically through kungfu, dance and movement. Its lastingimpression is one of awe-inspiringgrace, speed and agility. Andcuteness. They rocked. Christina Stannard

10 SEREN October 2001 MUSIC music@seren.bangor.ac.ukALBUM REVIEWSupernovaLisa “Left-Eye” Lopes (LaFace)In some ways Supernova by LisaLopes is an unusual, original andvery personal hip hop album. Inother ways it’s irritating, clichédand very ordinary. On some tracks,the lyrics are sprinkled with rappingclichés to a point where itmakes you cringe. In fact, muchof Ms Lopes’ rapping is just plainsilly, particularly on “Life Is LikeA Park” and “Jenny” in whichshe raps about her breakfast thatmorning—not very riveting, is it?The best track on the album iscertainly “The Block Party”— it’ssmooth, has a catchy rhythm andoriginal lyrics. Other tracks on thealbum try but lack the same finess,with her rapping constantly breakingthe flow of things.Really big hip-hop fans mightlike Supernova but personally Ithink you’d be better off spendingyour money on a different album.Tom EwansALBUM REVIEWBeautifulgarbageGarbage (Mushroom)This here record is pretty unique.It sucks in a way this reviewer hasnever heard an album suck before.Garbage’s third album is so bad it’sactually hilarious.It’s all so pretentious, so desperateto be taken seriously, andso pathetically keen to be controversial.Everything is done in sucha po-faced fashion that you have toAlbum reviewsWhat’s spinning on the Seren platters this monthlaugh at the hapless goth goons.Elsewhere it seems that theyare attempting to make their noisemore accessible. Their take onindustrial rock has always had apop edge to it, but now even moreso. The result falls between the twostools with a resounding crash.Face it, Shirley Manson is themost ridiculous woman in modernmusic whose name isn’t Geri, andher band are over-produced bollocks.If you want industrial, listento Nine Inch Nails. If you wantpop, listen to Destiny’s Child. Butplease, for the love of God, don’tbuy any more records by thesehalfwits. Daniel HartleyALBUM REVIEWGod Hatesus AllSlayer (American/Mercury)Good metal needs to be bothtestosterone-pumpingly primal andjust plain silly. With a title asdumb as this you’d expect plentyof both here. And this record occasionallylives up to that. Some ofthe lyrics verge on the hilarious—“You’ve got a fucking catheter inyour brain/Pissing your commonsense away”, which would be greatif you could work out what TomAraya is actually screaming about.As for masculine brutishness, afew of these songs would serveperfectly for a good mosh. But therecord just isn’t varied enough,leaving few tunes recognisableeven after several listens. Most ofthem left me screaming “Make itstop!” at my stereo.As the sticker on the case says,this will “leave listeners beggingfor mercy”. Quite. Nat RowsonALBUM REVIEWThe SagaContinuesP Diddy and the Bad Boy Family(Puff Daddy)ALBUM REVIEWWe LoveLifePulp (Island)After a fairly lengthy absence,Pulp are back on the scene.The sound is polished, atmosphericand a far cry from thebasic approach on their earlieralbums.Of course, one of the reasonspeople love Pulp is their wrySEAN “p. Puff Diddy Daddy”Combs, or whatever his friendslike to call him, heads an all-starEast coast rap gang in this ridiculouslyover-long album. Openingwith a sample from some AmericanTV show that will instantlyhave heads scratched trying towork out why it sounds so familiar,is cool but it’s not till “Bad BoyFor Life” kicks in that the albumstarts to work. Unfortunately itthen stops working. Sure there’sa couple of nice enough tracks—”That’s Crazy” is nice and bouncy,if initially irritating and “Childof the Ghetto” welcomes stringsback to hip hop as if they’venever been away—but the troubleis that there’s too much on thisalbum, and, underneath all Diddy’sattempts, he’s just not Dr. Dreand the end production just ain’tgot enough of that groove andattitude. Sorry, dog. Ian FallonALBUM REVIEWLittle BlackNumbersKathryn Williams (East West)Why are singer-songwritersalways so miserable? How do theobservational lyrics, and thisalbum won’t disappoint. ‘Weeds’in particular is an intelligent,tragicomic study of society. Thegeneral subject matter hasbranched out, too. Pulp nowoffer an emotional response tolove, life and death.However, while this is technicallyvery good, it lacks thecatchiness of its predecessors.Those who are expecting elevenre-hashes of “Common People”are advised not to bother, butdedicated Pulp fans should bepleasantly surprised. Lola Kidneybest of them manage to makeanguish, heartbreak and emotionaldistress sound like the mostbeautiful thing in the world?Take Liverpool born KathrynWilliams resides near the topof the pile of new British songsmiths.Kathryn, it seems, has hada hard time at the hands of variouslovers, all of whom have doneher wrong. She sets her talesof woe against a gorgeous backdropof acoustic guitars, mournfulstrings and featherweight percussion.Nothing new, but perfectlyexecuted, and when the songs areof this quality, who needs originality?Williams has a natural abilityto raise goosebumps and makeyour spine tingle. With just onesigh of her intoxicating voice, shecan bring a lump to the listener’sthroat. Miserable but beautiful,just how it should be. Daniel HartleyALBUM REVIEWVictoriaBeckhamVictoria Beckham (Virgin)This debut album from onehalf of the galaxy’s most famouscouple is remarkably the eighthalbum to be launched from thenow seemingly defunct Spicestable, and is surprisingly quitegood, but a long way from perfect.Victoria Beckham predictablyconsists of R’n’B Lite pop feistinessand sweeping ballads. Debutsingle “Not Such An InnocentGirl” is pretty much representative- but the stand out track isambitious ballad “I.O.U”—an odeto yummy husband Becks.However, with the exceptionof Geri, all of the Spice Girlsseem desperate to avoid realisinga pure pop album. The same istrue here with the R’n’B productionon Victoria’s album makingit unremarkable and a little cold.Victoria’s album is full of goodsongs, but nothing new or inventive.It would be nice if Victoria’snext effort has a little more funand a bit less “class.” James Dawson

music@seren.bangor.ac.uk MUSIC SEREN October 2001 11Talking MynciNat Rowson met Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci at Time10TH OCTOBER. Gorky’s ZygoticMynci are in Bangor to promotetheir new LP, How I Long To FeelThat Summer In My Heart, which hassold double their previous albumin its first week. Tonight they willplay a triumphant gig, spanning thewhole range of the Gorky’s backcatalogue, from whimsical rockoutsto reflective acoustic ballads.“We haven’t played Bangor sinceabout ‘94” says frontman EurosChilds apologetically. In 1995 theyrecorded a video at the Greek Tavernain which “John wore thickblack glasses and a beard andrubbed a glass against his nipple”,but Gorky’s have been deprivingNorth Wales of their genius eversince.It’s not as if they haven’t beenbusy though. Since first enteringthe studio at the age of fifteen in1991, Gorky’s have released fivealbums, two mini-albums and severalEPs. Their career has certainlyhad problems as well. In 1998 theywere dropped by their record labelafter their Gorky 5 album failedto sell. Gorky’s hardly seemedto notice however, releasing thesuperb Spanish Dance Troupe onMantra a year later. Indeed, Eurossees it as a positive. “Until thenwe never had much of an angle forthe press—my heroin addiction,my battle with booze or whatever.Now it centred around it’s a disgraceyou were dropped. Sad buttrue really.”Since then everything haschanged for Gorky’s. Foundermember and co-writer John Lawrenceleft during Spanish DanceTroupe and long-serving drummerEuros Rowlands followed shortlyafter. Despite causing obviousupsets in the band, this has helpedto keep them fresh even after tenyears. “At the moment everything’snew—could be a new band really. It“At the momenteverything’s new.Could be a newband, really.”Euros Childsdoesn’t feel like ‘oh here’s anothersong, another album’ cos it’s differentpeople.” Gorky’s survived fora year borrowing band membersfrom Teenage Fanclub and Derreroas well as Super Furries’ protégéTeflon Monkey, but now seem tohave finally found a settled line-up.“Pete’s been here a year (he waspreviously with Welsh indie heroesTopper), Rhodri (bass) for about twoand we’ve got Gwion (keyboards) onthis tour.”The personnel changes havealso pushed bassist/guitarist RichardJames to the front of the band.“He’s always written lovely songs.It’s just been a five year processof getting him to sing and recordhis own stuff ” says Euros proudly.Richard is responsible for severalof the standout tracks on the newalbum, including the single “StoodOn Gold.”OK, so they’ve survived beingdropped and losing half the band.Surely they must regret that name?“Nah. Names mutate into not meaninganything - you don’t think of anail when you say Jimmy Nail. Youthink shit. I like it. It’s memorablyimmemorable.”The band least likely to havea website have finally got roundto it and are enthusiastic aboutthe doors it opens. “We’re doinga tour diary. And we’re thinkingof putting live tracks on it, butwe’re in the state where it’s hardto get hold of our early stuff so wewant to do something with that.We’d like to put all our EPs on onedouble CD.”But their future doesn’t only liein reissuing past glories. “We’vegot new songs coming now. I don’tthink it’s going to be anythinglike this” says Euros, genuinelyexcited. Whatever it sounds like,you should have learnt that youcan depend upon Gorky’s by now.Cosmic Rough Riders, shown here whilst still on stageGIG REVIEWCosmicRough RidersTime, 26th September 2001in kevin Sampson’s excellentnovel Powder (about the rise andfall of a Verve-esque indie band),there is a line early on about agig at Bangor University which was“a fundraiser which no-one reallywanted to do.” With the numberof bands playing Bangor this yearalready, I had hoped this attitudewas a thing of the past, but CosmicRough Riders dashed this optimisminto little pieces.As did the record company forElectric Soft Parade, with the bandbeing forced to pull out of theirsupport slot merely hours beforeTime opened its doors. The bandhas promised to make their wayover here soon. Good.So to the Cosmics, then. As afan of their Teenage Fanclub-stylejanglings, I was hoping for somethingamazing. They were disappointing.Very disappointing. Theclassic melodies were present, aswere the gorgeous three-part harmonies,but something was missing.They gave a performance sodevoid of passion it was obviousthey didn’t want to be here. Thefact that most people defected tothe other room didn’t help, but youcan hardly blame them when theband were so up there own arses.After a pathetic 35 minutes, theCosmics stormed offstage. It latertranspired that there were technicalproblems, which weren’t theband’s fault, but why punish us forit? Because we’re only Bangor Unithat’s why, and we’re not importantenough to care about. Nicetunes, shame about the attitude.Daniel HartleyMetal mickey-takersDaniel Hartley considers the dubious credentials of Nu-MetalShould not be famous: Alien Ant FarmIs there really any differencebetween Linkin Park and N’ Sync?Above the obvious factor of whatthey sound like, there seems to benone whatsoever. Both have stupidnames, both are tools of a mercilesscapitalist marketing machine, bothmake lowest common denominatoraural shite and both are hugelysuccessful. Is there really any differencebetween Alien Ant Farm covering“Smooth Criminal” and Stepscovering “Chain Reaction”? Theredoesn’t seem to be, yet fans of thenew wave of metal seem to thinkthey’re into something deeper andmore meaningful than pop music.Nu-metal is a strange thing. Theartists and the audience believethat they are taking part in traditionalrock rebellion, that theyare non-conformists kicking againstsociety and the straight-laced culturalhegemony of their peers. Theyassert this independence by dressingexactly the same as all of theirfriends, and listening to identikittuneless dirges shouted by mencalled Corey. Those the mosherstry to distance themselves from(be they called scallies, towniesor jocks, depending on where youcome from) all dress the same astheir friends and listen to identikitsaccharine blandness intoned bymen called H. People delude themselvesinto thinking they are different,when in fact they’re doingexactly the same thing to a loudersoundtrack.There is good music coming outof both genres (this writer is afan of At The Drive-In and Destiny’sChild), but for each good bandthey are a hundred Limp Bizkitsor Hear’Says, peddling bland, soullessrubbish. And at least pop fansseem to be having a good time;Papa Roach’s fanbase seems to bemade up entirely of miserable bastards.I’m not saying pop music isgood; I’m just saying that nu-metalis no better. It’s as devoid of imagination,originality, importance anddecent tunes as all chart botheringmusic. And if I hear Alien AntFarm’s cover of “Smooth Criminal”one more time I’m going to scream.No, really…

12 SEREN October 2001 MUSIC music@seren.bangor.ac.ukEven supportbands get reviewsMy Vitriol competitionThose of you witnessed My Vitriol’s excellent gig in Time last year will be pleased to hear that the nugrungestersare returning to the venue on 1st November—supported by the frankly fantastic Seafood andthe frankly terrifying Queen Adreena. It’s gonna be a great night, and some of you lucky, lucky people will begetting in for free, because Seren have two pairs of tickets to give away. To get your hands on this fine prize,all you have to do is answer this stupidly simply question:What is the title of My Vitriol’s debut album?Email your answer to music@seren.bangor.ac.uk. Winners will be randomly selected and informed by phoneat noon on Wednesday 31st (so make sure we have your phone number). Good luck!GIG REVIEWTung/FubarTime, 26th SeptemberFubar are a pretty damn good“local” band. Their set was tight,well chosen and really got thecrowd going. I think one of theirsongs was called “Fifty Onions,”then there was one about “Bladderto Eternity,” but that couldhave been the distortion. Thegroup was obviously really comfortableon stage, helping theirvery imposing front man whip upthe crowd. However they haveyet to find their own sound, theyare still a little bit too heavilylike Limp Bizkit, maybe a dash ofStatic X in there and other suchrap/metal New Rock groups. Theyhave that irritating je ne sais quoi;that most fairly new bands have,“they sound like…” rather thanthey have their own definableFubar sound. Maybe that is somethingfor them to work on? Therest, vocals, playing and attitudethey have in spades. Fubar youget .Tung, oooooh yeah! These guysreally rock; they are just so fuckinggood. They’ve been gigging for fouryears all over the country, probablyin toilets, and they’ve also supportedreally well known bands,not in toilets: the Bloodhound Gangand Napalm Death. And that’s whyTung is so great; you can’t definethem by one musical style. Theyare as funky as really good R&Band Drum’n’Bass, they’re as brutallyhonest as Death Metal, withdeep integral screams to match.They are so bloody difficult to pindown. They got Ska fans skanking,metallers moshing and others justgoing mental in the pit. They havea truly unique sound, I can’t tellyou what it is, YOU SHOULD HAVEBEEN THERE! Rather than listeningto the Cosmic Rough Riders, whoare frankly not high enough tolick Tung’s boots. Tung have suchwonderfully varied, seemingly unmix-and-match-ablestyles, yet itall works, producing a really goodnight out. They are so alive on stageyou just get swept along. Go andbuy their album, it is out on FiercePanda. Tung, you get !Frankie O’DowdCARLING WEEKENDER COMPETITIONIt’s great being a journalist.Back in August, It’s A Scream—home of the famous YellowCard—very kindly sent Seren tothe Carling Weekender, LeedsFestival as part of the It’s AScream “Supporting StudentTalent” programme (which alsoincludes sponsoring the Radio1 Student Radio Awards).Seren, along with 50 otherstudent journalists and photographers,was given unprecedentedaccess to the venueand artists, with a total of43 performers coming into theTemple, It’s A Scream’s ownhospitality tent.As if this weren’t enough,all those who took part helpedput together a magazine ofreviews and interviews calledYello. If anyone’s interestedin getting into journalism—andmaybe, It’s A Scream permitting,getting to go next year’sCarling Weekender—write tomusic@seren.bangor.ac.uk!And It’s A Scream’s generositydoesn’t stop there. For yourchance to win a huge box of festivalrelated goodies—albums,singles, posters, stickers andT-shirts, including albums fromGay Dad, Björk, System of aDown, Royal Trux, Kerrang,Mouse on Mars, And You WillKnow Us…, Ladytron, Boy HitsCar, BS2000, a signed RichardHawley album, a Travis T-shirtand more... well, then all youhave to do is answer this simple,if lengthy, question:“It’s A Scream took 50 studentjournalists to the CarlingWeekend, Leeds Festival andgave them a special press tentand pub—the Temple—in theguest area. How many bandscame into the tent?”Send your name, University,email, phone and address toinfo@kazoo.co.uk. The deadlineis the end of October, and thewinner will be picked in Novemberso get in there quick. my summer holiday

movies@seren.bangor.ac.uk MOVIES SEREN October 2001 13Burn, Hollywood, burnMovies editor Chris Chapman considers how theevents of September 11th will hit HollywoodThe entertainment industrymay never be the same again.And I’m not talking about the farreachingeffects of Tom Baker’sstartlingly disturbing turn on C4’sTop Ten Sci Fi (“well hello there,my boy...”). Since the World TradeCentre attacks, the movie worldhas been plunged into a messof false rumours, reshoots andBrando-sized industry rethinks.Yeah, yeah, I know it’s callous tobe worrying about movies withall the loss of life involved in thestateside disaster, but hey, it’s myobsession.The first film to have problemswith the attack was Sam Raimi’supcoming Spiderman. Early reportsthat the majority of the film’sset pieces featured the towersand that the whole Toby Maguireflavoured venture could facecomplete cancellation proved tobe sheer garden fence gossip.Reshoots are necessary but theproject goes ahead unabated.Unfortunately the teaser postersfeature the towers reflected inSpidey’s bug eyes, so have allbeen pulled from cinemas.Arnie’s crap looking CollateralDamage has been pulled indefinitely(the Commandotastic plothaving Arnie taking revenge onterrorists for killing his family), sono great loss there, whilst Swordfishwas immediately ditched fromcinemas (aw well, its run wasalmost at an end anyway).But there is a bigger problemnow for the industry than simplereshoots, rescheduling and Arnie“comebacks.” Will America’s mainstreamever be able to look at theWill America’smainstream everbe able to lookat the disastermovie in quite thesame way again?disaster movie in quite the sameway again? In an industry wherean action movie’s money shot is—nine times out of ten—a big oldexplosion, will people still pay tobe reminded of the events of the11th? The simple and dishearteninganswer is—yes. It will takesome time and some severe tacton the part of the moviemakers,but despite their grief, people willstill return to the action movie:they enjoyed them too muchbefore to let them go entirely.Though it may seem unthinkableright now, there will inevitablybe a film made of the attack;Oliver Stone already seems to bethinking it over. Think about thesinking of the Titanic, it took 50years for A Night To Remember toreach the screens, but now Titanicis open season and more thancapable of becoming the largestgrossing film of all time. Couldthe same thing happen to TwinTowers: The Movie? Distasteful nowof course (DeNiro recently kickeda would-be scribe out of a café foroffering him a Towers script withBobby cast as Mayor Giuliani), butit will happen. Then the distancingeffect, already caused by theendless TV coverage, will reach itspeak and it’s possible that manyof us just won’t be able to feelthat sad about it all.One thing is certain: Hollywoodwill have to steer clear of theham-fisted handling of Easternthreats as seen in many many 80smovies (even Back To The Futurethrows in an “Oh No! The Libyans!”line). And certain movie bits—the exploding tower in Die Hard;the smouldering Twin Towers inIndependence Day—may well raisehackles the next time they pop upon telly.On the other hand, to avoidthe issue could be even worse.Zoolander, Ben Stiller’s upcomingcomedy vehicle, was shot in NewYork before the attack but decidedto digitally erase the towers beforerelease—surely in the same ballparkas denying the Holocaust. Atthe other end of the scale, thesight of the partially submergedtowers in Spielberg’s future visionAI is jarringly disturbing.One message that kept on pouringforth from September 11thwitnesses and TV viewers to theextent that it was a cliché withinhours, was how much like a moviethe whole attack seemed. Perhapsthat was the key shocker of theattack: that we’ve been seeingthese sorts of images for yearsbut previously they have been asescapism. Now we just want toescape from them. For now, Hollywoodwill just have to stay clearof the stampede.Welcome reappearance: Alyson and her Magic FluteFILM REVIEWAmericanPie 2Now showing at the PlazaCinema (Cert. 15)It’s odd, in a really good way—Iliked this film masses more thanthe original, my first experiencein the complete defiance of therules of sequels. The jokes werecleverer, plot smoother and moreengaging, and the characters cameacross (I guess because they hadalready been set up, and were nowbuilt on winningly) as hugely morecomplete, and much deeper andwarmer.The story starts a year on fromPie 1. All the characters (and that’sanother great thing—really all thecharacters) have returned homeafter their first college year, manyfinding that although they mayhave conquered fears of virginity,fears of life after high schoolare now dominant. Anxious abouthow he and his friends will holdtogether after a weighty year apart,Kevin turns to his elder brotheronce more for advice—as a result,he, Jim, Oz and Finch, plus Stiffler,rent a house on the lakeside forthe Summer, living several monthsHugely morecomplete, andmuch deeperand warmer thanthe original.of parties, piss-artistry and personalrevelation.American Pie 2 is a lot less cruelthan the original. My biggest problemwith the first film (daft asit sounds given the subject) wasthat so much of it felt like beingled to point and laugh at peoplewho were less lucky or cool thanus. The sequel is so much kinderthough—although there are loadsof intrusions by parents, footballsin guts and trumpets up arses,this time there’s an air of aware,affectionate irony and somehowyour heart goes out to the victims;and the humour benefits bymiles. Admittedly, in many waysPie 2 just looks to replicate hitset-piece scenes from its predecessor—Stifflerdrinking ejaculate-complementedbeer, or fromthe internet broadcast in Pie 1to a radio transmission of joustingsexual favours with “lesbians”.Most times, though, it builds brilliantlyon the original, and thereare masses of great in-jokes andself-references.Although it’s weird to use termslike these when reviewing anAmerican Pie film, it’s due to aself-aware influence of sensitivityand—even—restraint, plus the factthat it actually thinks (just a bit,y’know…) puts Pie 2 way aheadof its comrades—it’s not a greatwork of art, but it’s easy to becomepart of, it’s really funny, and it’sthoroughly enjoyable. Jon Mason

14 SEREN October 2001 MOVIES movies@seren.bangor.ac.ukFILM REVIEWJeepersCreepersNow showing at the LlandudnoCineworld (Cert. 18)JEEPERS CREEPERS: the outlandishtale of what happens when TheCreature From The Black Lagoondecides to grow his hair long, dresslike a Bohemian and set up shop ina church smack dab in the middleof nowhere.Victor Salva’s “Best AmericanHorror Movie Of The Last TenYears” (according to the poster) isdisheartening to watch. Initially, itgreets us with a sustained twentyminutes of tense, well directed andrather disturbing horror. Bickeringsiblings, Trish and Darri, stumbleacross an old church, with Darristoopedly jumping down a darkpipe. The scene that follows inthe church’s basement is the bestthing here. It steals an idea directlyfrom Aliens but attempts it in sucha cocksure manner that the sheerscale of what Darri sees is reallyrather freaky. Salva’s trick of mixingthe fear of wide open spaces withhole in the ground claustrophobiais extremely effective.Sadly, Salva simply doesn’t knowwhat to do with his movie post-cellarchiller. It’s as if he had a nastydream that depicted the openingbut he just didn’t have the seedssown in his mind of where to gonext. We are immediately plungedinto the old-as-Richard Harris clichéof “heroes ask for help in unhelpfulhillbilly diner,” followed by an“Ah, the cops will do you nogood!” attack. In fact, Salva seemsunable to offer up anything morethan an exploded microwave full ofbits from other movies. Deliverance,Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Breakdownand Duel all end up being entirelyviolated. Poor things. Also presentis the annoying fake scare technique(example: “argh! Oh, it’s justthe phone. Phew.”), as well as somereally repetitive death scenes allalong the lines of “Nope, nothinghere! Argh!” or “Drip, drip? Argh!”But things get worse. The firstHalloween film subtly played withthe idea that Michael might not bemortal. Jeepers Creepers in contrastseems to want to be as subtle asa crazy haired scientist (played byChris Tucker) attempting to laser anaked likeness of Adolf Hitler ontothe surface of the moon. The villainturns from disturbingly burlyshadow man to Steven Hendry’Ello Darlin’: Evil demon fingered in Terry Pratchett hat-use shockercomplexion Lurch baddie to immortalpointy teeth winged demon ofdoom. A character arc that tookthe overblown Friday the 13th seriesnine movies to achieve.The last half hour, full of looseends and terrible lines quicklymoves into boredom territory andleads us spluttering towards thedisappointing non-ending.It’s all a real shame as from timeto time, Salva’s imagery is reallyeffective—the opening heat hazelong shot, the pool of light in thecellar, the demon against moon.Unfortunately the unlikeable characters,dodgy baddie, terrible backstory of the “hey, this is whereJimmy and Timmy were foundtwenty years ago… without theirheads!” variety and an awful monotonousscript ended up scaring thisreviewer a lot more than anythingthat was supposed to. ANTITRUSTThis is a very slick hi-tech thriller.Unfortunately that’s it. There’s verylittle substance to it with the exceptionof every single vaguely appropriatemovie cliché. The plot - a sub-The Net computer based yawn-fest -is predictable to the extent that it’spossible to run a book on the final‘twist’. And that’s what’s so frustratingabout this film, ‘cos the directingis fine (even though it tries tobe a little bit too arty at times), andthe acting is superb - especially TimRobbins not being Bill Gates. He’snot Bill Gates to the extent that at-shirt saying ‘I am NOT Bill Gates’would seem like an invitation to sue.But the plot, and so the film as aresult, is, at best, mind numbingcrap. Maybe that’s what it set outto be, but frankly I’d rather watchthe appalling mid-nineties Hackersas at least it has tits in it. Ian FallonThe GiftSeemingly tiring of the unhinged,tongue in cheek lunacy of his EvilDead series, horror genius SamRaimi has instead opted for a SixthSense-esque psychological chillerfor his latest venture. The resultsare disappointing to say the least;The Gift is a horrible mess of amovie, filled with cringe-worthy performanceshorror clichés. Sigh.Never has Seren seen such awide range in actor quality in amovie. The peerless Cate Blanchettis predictably excellent (possibly thebest female actor of her generation),while Katie Holmes and GaryCole acquit themselves well. KeanuReeves’ redneck accent is hilarious,Giovanni Ribisi hams for all his worthand Hilary Swank should have herOscar taken away.Raimi seems out of his depthhere. He paces the movie slowly,hoping that this will create a spookyatmosphere, when in fact he createsonly boredom. If you want a creepyfilm, full of subtle shades of fear,go and rent Blair Witch or NicolasRoeg’s Don’t Look Now. Leave thisclunker well alone. Dan HartleyEXIT WOUNDSDespite the ridiculous plot line andthe total absence of good dialogueExit Wounds is better than your averageHollywood studio action film.Steven Segal in the lead part isworse than wooden but the actionis generally very good. Lots of explosionsand satisfying cartoon violence.When you’re in a frustrated mood aMOVIESTO RENTbit of film violence usually makes youfeel better. Almost every character inthe film seems to be an expert atmartial arts; they are always usingfancy karate moves on each otherwhen a kick in the nuts would do thejob. Despite this, the karate scenesare spectacular and the whole film ingeneral has an impressive and verymodern look to it.In short this won’t be hailed as thenext Casablanca or Schindlers Listbut it’s still very entertaining all thesame. Tom EwensTHE WEDDING PLANNERTrue story: I used to have a reallynice group of friends, and they allloved me. Until I made them watchthis film.Please believe me when I saythat this is not a good film. The blurbtells us that; “In a classic Hollywoodpairing they sizzle together like twoidols from the silver screen.” Thisis a lie. “The Wedding Planner”has two problems: firstly, an awfulscript and nonsensical plot; Secondly,the complete lack of chemistrybetween Jennifer Lopez andMatthew McConaughey, which thewhole film depends upon.Ironically, the supporting cast isquite good. Bridget Wilson-Samprasbrings some warmth and scattinessto what could have been the “otherwoman” role. However, the downfallof this is that you unintentionallywant her to marry McConaugheyand get the happy ending.I like rom-coms, but this mademe bored and it’s not especiallyromantic or funny. Feel free to rentThe Wedding Planner, but it’s yourfuneral. James DawsonAll titles available to rent now from Albin’s Video on College RoadTHE TAILOR OF PANAMATailor of Panama is almost like ananti-spy film. It proceeds to take agreat stylish piss on every suaveand gentlemanly spy image thatwas ever cast on celluloid. You canalmost hear Pierce Brosnan groaningin delight as he rips his Bond personaapart with his role of AndrewOsnard, a british spy for whom theadjective ‘bastard’ seems like a compliment.Add to this the wonderfulGeoffrey Rush as an ex-con and youwould think there is no way it couldgo wrong. Well, it does. Due to aslow start and a somewhat unsatisfyingending the film seems to loseall the fun it exudes most of the waythrough. But don’t let this deter you.On this month of November whenmost releases seem extremely dry ,The Tailor of Panama makes a fundiversion. E. ErsoyThe WatcherThere’s an old saying. ‘Who watchesThe Watcher?’ Well I did, and itwasn’t that bad. This tale of a deadlygame of cat and mouse betweenmessed up cop James Spader andan even more messed up Keanu‘one expression for all emotions’Reeves, is decent but forgettableSaturday night video fodder. Whilenot massively scary or gory, it doeshave it’s moments of excitementwith decent, often stylish, directionaiding matters. And the explosiveclimax, while being a load of bull,does kick arse. There are betterkiller-thillers out there, and this isn’tone of them. But then there areawful ones, and this isn’t one ofthem either. Iwan Benneyworth

16 SEREN October 2001 GAMES games@seren.bangor.ac.ukGAME REVIEWThis isFootball2002Playstation 2Football games tend be likeracing games; the good ones areexcellent, while the rest are abysmalwastes of everyone’s time. Inorder to be any good, a footy gamemust either show some originality(like Liberogrande International), orjust have solid gameplay and goodgraphics (the all-conquering FIFAseries). So, is the latest in a longline of soccer sims a graceful,unstoppable Brazil, or just anotherflat, uninspiring Wales?First off, the graphics are stunning.The players move realistically,1. Manic Miner (1983)Long gone are the days of the Spectrum, with itsrubber keys and tape-based tomfoolery, but stillwith us are the memories of the truly wonderfulgames that strove against the garish primary-colourdisplay to present us with an experience neverto be forgotten. Leading those brave souls was asmall white man with no fear and an insatiablelust for shiny things. His name was Miner Willy.The task was simple: lead Willy to the sparklyitems (usually keys) and then put him in a box.Repeat. In his way were many weird and wonderfulcreatures, such as mutant pom-poms, killertelephones, carnivorous khazis, and a fat manwith a trumpet for a face. Utterly barking, and,in my humble opinion, inferior only to the gamethat came after it: Jet Set Willy, in which he wouldmeet pirouetting kangaroos and grumpy penguins,and even turn into a pig with wings (although itTIF 2002 aims to recreate the stadium experienceand in the more famous teams theyhave recognisable facial features.The crowd members are individuallyanimated, and the weather conditionsare extremely convincing.On long shots, it almost feels as ifyou’re watching the match on TV.TIF 2002 also plays well. Thecontrols are instinctive, and pullingoff some fancy moves is relativelyeasy. There have been bettercontrol systems on footy games(the aforementioned FIFA), but thisis more than adequate. The level ofdifficulty is also perfectly judged,with France being harder to beatthan Rotherham United. This mayseem glaringly obvious, but somefootball games fall down at thishurdle.Another plus is the large numberof teams available. These rangefrom national sides (from Brazil to,yes, Wales) to domestic teams fromaround the world. For example,the English and Scottish first divisionsare represented. The sheernumber of teams harks back to thegood old days of Sensible Soccer onthe Amiga, and is a most welcomefeature.There are, of course, a numberof downsides. The less popularteams don’t even have the rightplayer names, let alone the famousfaces of the bigger squads. So,although you can play as the mightySheffield Wednesday, there’s noreal player names, which diminishesthe experience.Even more irritating, though, isthe commentary. Sports games feelthe need to have annoying footballpundit’s voices on a loop, sayingthe same things fifteen times amatch. It is a device that neverworks, and this is no exception.In conclusion then, not a badgame by any stretch, though it’sbeen done better. Not quite Brazil,more like Holland. Dan HartleyMAD! A sideways glance at bonkers gamescould’ve been anything—this was on a Spectrum48K after all).Often imitated, never beaten, Willy remains theking of the platform collect-‘em-up. But the bestbit of both games? The falling foot that snuffed outhis life after your miserable attempts at success.All together now—eeeeeeeeeeeee splat. Classic!GAME REVIEWMario Kart:Super CircuitGame Boy AdvanceMario Kart is a wonderful thing.The SNES original was one of themost addictive games that evergraced a little plastic box. Thisreviewer was bursting Battle Modeballoons and vainly attempting tobeat time trial records for a quiteabsurd duration. So, with the lackof any really decent games thus faron the GBA, it was quite lovely tosee Mario Kart: Super Circuit zoomover the horizon. My old addictiveplaything was back in town.The GBA version has a definiteretrospective advantage over itstwo predecessors. It presents itselfin the style of the SNES version,yet borrows many ideas from theN64—three lap tracks, the leaderseekingspiky shell and, thankfully,the ability to save time trialGAME REVIEWSmall but perfectly-formed: Mario busts a leftDark CloudPlaystation 2ghosts.The graphics here are significantlybetter than the original version,giving a lot more detail to thebackgrounds and making the racesthemselves as smooth as you couldpossibly hope for. Still, this isn’t 32bit quality graphics: the SNES wasonly 16 bit and this isn’t that muchbetter.Gameplay remains much thesame, but it does feel great just tohave the option of playing it anywhere,against up to three otherpeople. And the impressive thinghere is the volume of tracks they’vemanaged to cram in – twenty newones, plus the twenty old onesfrom the original game (yay!). Itmay reek of a lack of designer confidencein the new tracks, but whocares? Come to me, Lady Nostalgia,we share the same bed tonight....To sum up, Super Circuit, by combiningthe successes of the othergames, has become the best MarioKart game there is, and probablythe best game on the GBA rightnow. Chris ChapmanOne thing the PS2 will never beshort of is RPGs. The Japanese areplainly mad for them, and for yearswe’ve been knee-deep in Final Fantasies,Zeldas and Phantasy Stars, inas many shapes, sizes and formatsas you could imagine. So when anew one arrives, it can be quitedifficult to really give a damn.Dark Cloud does little to changethis. A moderately pretty intro(more effectively atmospheric thantechnically good), backed by woefullytinny and lifeless music, leadsup to the standard half-hour ofplot-intensive exposition. Apparently,some big evil mad bloke hasdecided to summon a huge, fat,pink demon known as the DarkGenie to wreak vengeance on everybodyfor no discernible reason.The result is that your home village,and all the people within it,are turned into orbs, and cast allaround the globe. Your task is tofind these orbs, break them open,and restore everything to normal.Jesus....In effect, this game involves runningaround in caves, hitting thingswith a variety of weapons in a realtimesituation which is more PhantasyStar than Final Fantasy. Onceyou have smashed an orb, though,things become a bit more amusing,as you then have to arrange buildings,roads and rivers as you see fit,in a manner reminiscent of ThemePark. There is also a faintly daftsoundingfishing sub-game, wherefish can be caught and exchangedfor items.Dark Cloud isn’t bad. It offers apleasant distraction, but it simplydoesn’t stand out from the crowd.The characters seem devoid ofweight, and the dialogue is as bobbinsas the music, but there is stillmuch fun to be had. Fans of RPGsmay want to check it out, but don’texpect any revelations.

games@seren.bangor.ac.uk GAMES SEREN October 2001 17It’s hip to besquareMike McGeachin gets his handson Nintendo’s new GameCubeAnother issue, another Nintendo.This time, we take a stepaway from the realm of sweetlittle handheld doobies, and takea long, lingering look at one ofthe new titans of gaming: theGameCube. Thanks to those helpfulfellows at Acme (the LowerBangor-based purveyors of qualitygames, comics and action figures),I was able to try out one of theseshiny new consoles ahead of theofficial release schedule, and here,for your reading pleasure, are myfindings.Firstly, the look. It seems thatNintendo have gone mad forminiature, as the ‘Cube wouldprobably fit comfortably into halfa shoebox. Resembling Sega’sunfairly-shunned Dreamcast, it isa top-loading affair with four controllersockets in the front, and,like the Game Boy Advance Itested last issue, it comes in apleasant matt blue case, and willlater be decked out in a variety ofhues like the GBA. Pink Gamecube,anyone?The controllers (also blue) lookrather odd. Resembling in manyways a Dreamcast/PS2 crossbreed,they feature a plethora of initiallyconfusing controls. Naturally, thereis the digital D-pad, four mainbuttons (A, B, X and Y) and twoergonomically designed shoulderbuttons. Added to this, we alsofind two analogue controls, onegrey, one yellow. But it is thelayout which surprises. One analoguecontrol sits top-left, and theother bottom-right with the fourmain buttons just above. Thesebuttons are arranged so that the Asits centrally, with a round B to itsside, and the two other, sausageshapedbuttons above. Add to thisa microscopic Start button lying inthe middle like a deformed navel,then so far, so Picasso. Thankfully,though, after some faltering, thecontrols do become intuitive, andthe pad sits quite comfortably inyour hands.And so on to the games! Inkeeping with the midget-friendlydesign of the console itself, thegames come on the tiniest discsyou ever did see—you could dropone in your pint if you so chose—and are sold in cases which looklike those of PS2 games, but much,much smaller. Two games were onhand at the time: Waverider, a jetskiracer, and Luigi’s Mansion, theThe gamescome on thetiniest discs youever did see.token Mario Bros. release.Waverider amazed all who werepresent. The graphics redefine theword ‘stunning’. The charactersmove fluidly, and there are absolutelyno rough edges to be seen.The water draws the most comment:the riders create reflectionson its surface as it undulates upand down, shimmering as it goes,and the jet-skis kick up perfectbursts of spray across the screen.It’s all so realistic you have tocheck yourself for wet patches(clean your mind!). The game itselfis generic, but still fun. There seemto be options to choose from, but,as the text was all in Japanese, Ididn’t know what they were. Ohwell....Luigi’s Mansion was a moreintriguing affair. Eschewing thestandard platform-o-rama of theprevious games, this takes theform of a cutesy adventure game,in which (and this is all downto guesswork—this was also inits untranslated Japanese form)Mario’s idiot brother tries tohoover up the ghosts which inhabithis abode. The controls are usedv e r yeffecti v e l y,with oneanalogues t i c km o v i n gthe diminut i v ep l u m b e raround, and theother controlling auseful ‘look’ feature,allowing you to take in allof the beautifully realised 3Dinteriors. There are various modesof attack (which, at first, seemto include Luigi bleating for helpfrom his bro—odd, but very nicelydone, like all the sounds), anda Resident Evil-esque map (presentedon a “Game Boy Horror”—can’t beat a bit of self-referentialhumour, can you?). One worthchecking out if you are fluent inJapanese and can tell what thehell is going on. Otherwise, youmay want to wait for the Englishrelease.All told, it seems that Nintendohave hit the mark once again. The‘Cube is a spanking little systemset for world domination—if itis backed up with good games.And there’s the problem. Nintendohave an unappealing habitof catering solely for the youngergamer, who would feel loth tosplash out all their pocket moneyon a new console when the PS2is only £200 and already has animpressive back catalogue. ThePlaystation buried the N64 formuch the same reasons, despitethe latter being technically superior,and the PS2 has the advantageof backward compatibility,so Nintendo will have to playthings very carefully. With Microsoftwaiting in the wings to throwin their twopenn’orth with theX-Box, it’s going to be an interestingChristmas.Waverider: water-based fun for one or moreLuigi’s Mansion: Who you gonna call?

ADVERTISEMENTSNOWDON COMPUTERSAFFORDABLE SOLUTIONS FOR YOUR COMPUTING NEEDSLlanberis, Gwynedd Tel: 01286 871186 (eves & weekends) Email: sales@snowdoncomputers.co.uk (preferred)Since its inception over 6 months ago,as a £3000 second hand computerbusiness, Snowdon Computers, and itsfounder, Neil, (right in picture) have trulycome along way. With current sales nearingthe £50,000 mark and each sale representinga happy customer, there is no denying, “He’sdoing something right!”So What Is the Key to Your Success???Modestly he admits, with a smile across hisface, “A lot of hard work, tenacity, an elementof luck, strategic partnerships (with some ofthe best a companies in the business) andmost importantly, a genuine commitment toproviding truly affordable solutions, no matterwhat the computer need.”“Unlike others in the business,” he states,“I did not enter this market to make a quickbuck. This is not about merely exploiting thelack of realistically priced completion in thisarea, or my prices would reflect that. Rather, Isee this as an opportunity to simply provide analternative to some of the ridiculous prices I’veseen quoted, both in shops, and at computerfairs.” In fact so competitive are their pricesin relation to the quality of their merchandise,that organisers of a recent computer fair perceivedthem as sufficient threat, to their currentclients, that they rejected their requestto hire a display space, for fear of upsettingtheir regular stallholders. He goes on to add,“What’s more, whilst conducting my ventureagainst high and, sometimes fixed prices, ofcomputers, I get to do what I really like themost, and that’s dealing with computers.”Snowdon Computers have recently beguncollaboration with successful Devon basedcompany Rainbow Computers UK, operatedby James (Left in picture) to further expandtheir options and services they are able tooffer their customers. Together, these twocompetitively driven companies propose topush back the boundaries and bring trulyaffordable computing at all levels to their customers.With their online sales far exceeding theirlocal market, Snowdon Computers are offeringsome superb deals for students of BangorUniversity this year: Their choice of offeringa small range of quality products means theyare able to concentrate on giving the best dealsfrom systems they are totally familiar with.Portable computing at superb value isoffered by the IBM Thinkpad 600 series.Generally thought of by those in the tradeas one of the best built IBM laptops evermade and with IBM setting the standards inmobile computing, it is not hard to see whythis laptop is Snowdon Computers’ best sellingmodel by far. The current batch availablestill has a number of months left on theiroriginal IBM warranty too!Superb value in desktop computing isoffered by their IBM 700XL PC. Straight fromthe corporate environment, each unit has beenindividually stripped and tested in their workshopbefore being offered for sale. Coupledwith a superb 17” professional monitor, whichhas hardly seen use, brings a complete systemtogether for a superb price. An optional extrais a Lexmark colour printer which comesboxed with it’s own warranty caps the perfectPC for all uses.For those on a budget, where else canyou get a complete Pentium system with warrantyfor less than £100? Just the job fortyping out those essays and projects in thecomfort of your own accommodation. Againan optional printer means you can print themout at home without having to bother withbuying printer credits for the University printers.It should be pointed out however that,although these have been fully tested, they aresecond hand and not refurbished units.Finally, Snowdon Computers are able tooffer the almost complete current range ofPackard Bell PCs and monitors direct fromthe factory. These come boxed and ready toplug in and use PLUS they also come witha 12 months on-site warranty so if in theunlikely event of you having any problem,a quick telephone call will see a technicianknocking on your door within 48 hours to fixit without you having to send it away or evenunplug it!This is an outstanding company with trulyaffordable prices that has successful retainedthat approachable element only exhibited bysmall companies. Which is made even moreremarkable, given their phenomenal growth.So let Snowdon Computers help you findthat perfect computing solution.Email: sales@snowdoncomputers.co.ukTel: 01286 871186 (eves & weekends)SUPER DESKTOP& LAPTOP DEALSALL PC PRICES INCLUDE DELIVERY AND INSTALLATION TOBANGOR ADDRESSES (INCLUDING HALLS OF RESIDENCE)IBM 700XL Base UnitPentium II 266Mhz processor, 64Mb memory, 4Gb hard drive, floppy &CD-ROM drives, keyboard & mouse, onboard sound & video (no speakerssupplied). Modern 17” monitor with less than 12 months use.only £295 or £350 with boxed Lexmark printerwith 3 months repair or replace RTB warranty£15 off to all Seren readers! Mention Seren when ordering.Ideal Starter SystemsMinimum spec: Pentium 90MHz, 16Mb memory, 540Mbhard drive, floppy, keyboard, mouse, 14” monitor.Second hand, fully tested with 30 day warranty.£95 or £150 with boxed Lexmark printerPackard Bell Factory RefurbishedThe FULL current range available as boxed factory refurbished modelsfrom I-Connect Celeron 633 - £385 to I-Media Athlon 1Ghz - £62515” or 17” monitors £140 or £195ALL WITH 12 MONTHS ONSITE WARRANTYIBM ThinkPad 600 LaptopPentium II 300Mhz, 13.3” TFT colour display, 64Mb RAM, 5.0Gb harddrive, 24x speed CD-ROM & floppy, internal 56K modem, USB Portonly £525still under IBM warranty until Feb-July 2002£25 off to all Seren readers! Mention Seren when ordering.£50 deposit required on any system, delivery upon cleared funds.To be added to our email database and receive advanced information on future deals just email a request!

features@seren.bangor.ac.uk FEATURES SEREN October 2001 19Vive la difference?The New Republican explores the English/Welsh divideI’ve just finished watching aheated debate on the existence ofWelsh racism, if such a thing existsat all. Being an English-speakingWelshman, like so many of myfriends (who like me have at leastone parent who’s English), I think Ican offer an informed view on whythere’s all this tension between thetwo camps. Now it’s important foryou the reader to realise that themajority of Welsh and English geton really well, it’s just a few groupswho cause the problems. This articleis not intended to be racist,offensive or derogatory to Welshpeople, many of whom are a creditto the country.The argument started whenSimon Glyn, a Plaid Cymru councillor,made some allegedly racistcomments concerning the influxof English people/speakers and thesubsequent erosion of the Welshcommunity life in a cultural, linguisticand social/economic (higherhouse prices) sense.Now Mr Glyn and others likehim have a point. The Welsh languageis in the minority and toan extent is endangered. As manypeople have said, the defence ofa minority culture is not a racistthing. It’s how you go about thesaving that counts, and I’ve learntover the years that when you’retrying to accomplish somethingthe worst thing you can do ispiss people off—because pissingoff enough of them will lead to astorm which clouds the very issueyou’re trying to address, and secondlywill more than likely comeback and bite you in the arse (twothings Mr Glyn has had to dealwith). From a Welsh standpoint Iwould feel that Mr Glyn and othershad in fact damaged the cause,whatever their positive meanings.Remember, the road to Hell ispaved with good intentions.As both an Englishman and aWelshman I’m very disappointedthat when such comments areraised, some Welsh people bringup English “imperialism, occupationand oppression” as reasons forWales’ plight. In fact, it offends me.These people have no idea whattrue oppression or occupation are.True oppression is when you speakup for your beliefs then get hauledaway by the secret police, torturedfor days and are then murderedor used as slave labour until yourbroken body gives in. True occupationis when you and your wholevillage are shot as punishment forresistance actions against the occupiers.To my knowledge none ofthis happens in Wales.And the imperialist claim? NeedI remind anyone that Wales, beingpart of Britain, was just as enthusiasticas the rest of the Isles aboutproviding men and resources toconquer a quarter of the planet?To be positive, despite whatpeople say, the Welsh language willnever die out. It’s too well documentedin millions of dictionariesand texts to simply disappear, andsomeone, somewhere, will alwaysspeak it. It’s when a Native Americanlanguage disappears off theface of the earth as the last tribesmandies that you should feel somekind of a tragic loss. Don’t worry,Welsh is here to stay in one formor another, and if we play our cardsright, might even increase in popularitywith positive promotion oftourism and culture (which is whynegative language concerning outsidersis never helpful, whetherdirected at the English or not).Comments from certain nationalistshave been regarded as offensive,hostile or so close to the edgethat even a slight breeze wouldsend them over. And the real shameof it is that by now, I’m used to it.In my secondary school we weresegregated according to language.Two classes for English and fourfor Welsh. A lot of the barrierswere lifted as we grew older andmaturity rose, but from the earlyyears nasty comments were stillmade towards the English-speakers.Indeed even during A-levels,with mixed classes, the EnglishandWelsh-speakers stuck to theirown little groups at opposite endsof the common room. And that’sthe saddest part of it.Forget the anti-English peoplesentiment, that’s not really the cruxof the matter. What it boils downto is the English language/culture.Most of us at school were born andbred in Wales: it was the languagethat separated us.Even now at University, the samevoluntary segregation applies. Mostof the Welsh students are in NeuaddJohn Morris Jones. They say thatthis allows them to preserve theirculture, language and way of life aswell as sharing a friendly communityspirit. This is true. But if youfollow this logic then you’d haveto give separate halls to Asianstudents so they could maintainthe same values. Ditto Europeans,Latin Americans, Africans, Christians,Muslims, Jews and so on.Of course if I were studying in“The defence of a minority cultureis not a racist thing. It’s how you goabout the saving that counts.”Europe then I’d prefer to live inan English hall, I’ll admit that. Butone of the most attractive thingsabout Uni is meeting new peopleand making new friends, whatevercountry or culture they come from,leading to a greater understandingand appreciation of their languages,cultures and lifestyles. Thisis easier if they live with you.Some Welsh people moan thatEnglish students don’t take anytime to learn Welsh or appreciatethe values mentioned above. Toquote English mates: ‘how are wemeant to learn and share this stuffwhen the Welsh guys keep themselvesto themselves? Maybe if wehad Welsh people among us wewould make the effort, but sincewe live with just English students,what’s the point? They accuse usof not making an effort, but if youask us it’s a fifty-fifty blame, andthis self-segregation doesn’t help.’Hmmm, fair enough. I’m inclinedto agree about self-segregation,but I think we in Bangor will haveto live with it, as closing down JohnMorris Jones would cause such anuproar. Still, point made.I can speak Welsh fairly wellbut choose not to. I’m rusty andI’m getting worse, but you knowwhat? I don’t really care. Is thatwrong of me? Well, that’s up toyou, but it is a result of the divisionsI have described above. Ifound out that despite my Welshbirth it was my first language ofEnglish that defined me in somepeople’s eyes, leading in rare casesto the negativity associated withbeing “English.”And so in my own way I choseto rebel. I said “OK then, you wantto play it that way, fine. Screwyour language.” Thus I turned tomy English side, and, dare I say it,I’m sure that’s what happened withmost of my English-speaking Welshfriends, as well as being the attitudeof a lot of English incomers.I must stress that I do not regardmyself as “English,” just as I do notregard myself as “Welsh.” I am British.While the Union consists ofsemi-autonomous states we all fallunder one government, one flagand one country—Great Britain.We are all the same in manyways and this is why, to quoteCartman, “nationalism pisses meoff ”—be it Welsh, English or anyother. We are all equals and allof the same people. There is nothingwrong with patriotism. Indeedsome of our differences can beour greatest strengths—so long asit’s kept in perspective that weshare more similarities than we dodifferences, and national feelingdoesn’t just boil over as it sometimesthreatens to do in Wales.What I’m trying to get at is thatwhen you look at what’s going onin the world today, with economicrecession, suffering, starvation andnow the troubles in Afghanistan, itkinds of puts our little debate intothe perspective it deserves.It is for all the above reasonsthat a Union Jack hangs above mybedroom doorway. It is a testamentto my faith in the Union of GreatBritain and how triumph can comeout of coexistence and co-operation,rather that division and rivalries.So just remember that moralthe next times this racism debateemerges, because it is that messageand the positive spirit it promotesthat could save Wales morethan anything else.Opinions expressed are those ofthe author and do not necessarilyreflect those of Seren or theStudents’ Union. Seren is happyto receive reponses for publication,which should be sent toletters@seren.bangor.ac.uk.

Students’ Union, Deiniol Road, Bangor LL57 2THTel: 01248 388017 Fax: 01248 388020 http://seren.bangor.ac.uk20 SEREN October 2001 EDITORIAL AND COMMENT editor@seren.bangor.ac.ukSpreading the costAs the government continues towards its arbitrary target of 50% ofschool leavers entering University, so the bill mounts. So we shouldnot be surprised to find it looking more and more to the taxpayer tofund its social engineering projects. “There is,” admitted EducationSecretary Estelle Morris last Tuesday, “no other way.” It now appearsthat those who enter Higher Education after 2003 may be expected topay increased income tax to “repay” the cost of their education.The tax is, ideologically, no different to a student loan. The governmentforwards to a student a certain amount of taxpayers’ money toassist with his or her studies; and then, once the student is in a positionto repay the money, the government reclaims it on behalf of thetaxpayer. This is not, on the face of it, grossly offensive. Indeed, inremoving the detested Student Loans Company from the equation,a graduate tax could in fact provide a better service to graduates.Under the present system, students are effectively forced to becomedebtors of a private company. On graduation they must authorise thiscompany to withdraw funds from their accounts without notice, andshould their circumstances change the onus is upon them to satisfythe company that it should pause its systematic harvesting of theirmoney. An automatic 1% deduction from a graduate’s income wouldbe a far simpler and less intrusive way to achieve the same aim—and,if the figure remains at 1%, only very high earners will retire havingpaid more in total than they would have under the present scheme.Since attaining a University degree is becoming a general expectation,rather than a mark of distinction in a specific area, we must welcomeany move that eases the financial burden it places on students.It would, however, be fairer still to foster a society that allows schoolleavers an unprejudiced choice of whether to spend three years andupwards of £10,000 acquiring skills they may well never use.Great expectationsthere was much that was memorable about this year’s Serendipity(not least the flying fish); but one aspect that struck me particularlywas the way that practically every stall, regardless of what itwas trying to promote, was giving out free condoms. Even one dramagroup was gaily proferring prophylactics, with the slogan “if you’rejoining us, you’ll need one of these.” Nothing wrong with that, ofcourse, as a humorous pitch to students; but the overall effect wasunfortunate. Alongside three religious groups, two mobile phonesuppliers a band and a choir, Serendipity offered six opportunities toget free condoms. The obvious conclusion was that, whatever elsestudents might want to do, they were supposed to be having sex.I’m not suggesting for a second that this was the intended message.But if, like most students, you’re unhappily single, being invitedsix times over to help yourself to condoms isn’t going to make youfeel any more attractive. Worse, it raises expectations among studentsof both sexes which can trap them in horrible situations. I’msure many of you will recognise the kind of thing I’m talking about.Free condoms are not a bad idea. There will always be studentswho do have sex: let’s at least try to help them avoid infectionsand unwanted pregnancies. But perhaps next year the CCSO or WelfareOfficer might address the context in which they’re given out.Feeling sexually unwanted is painful and destructive, and if the Students’Union, while contining to support couples, can show moresensitivity towards single students it will be a better—and morerepresentative—institution.LATE PUBLICATION OF THIS ISSUEDue to failures on the part of an external company, this month’sSeren appears four days after its advertised publication date. Detailswill appear in next month’s issue pending legal advice. We offer oursincere apologies to our readers, staff and advertisers, and havetaken every measure to ensure future issues appear on schedule.Darien Graham-Smith editor@seren.bangor.ac.ukState of the UnionPresident James Brownsell reviews the month“PAY AS YOU LEAVE”Hi everyone! My name’s James.Well, what a month it has been!Freshers’ week was the most successfulever, with 89 stalls at Serendipityon each day and recordnumbers of thirsty students dancingtheir socks off in Time. Thecommunity of Bangor opened itsarms to some 2,000 fresh-facednew students, plus around 6,000returnees. Many friends have beenmade, and much beer has beendrunk.I have actually tried to writethis article eight times, trying tosummarise the month and put myspin on things. Every time I finish,however, something else happensand I have to start again. I’velived in Bangor for a while now,and nothing much has happenedin all that time. “So why is it,”I ask myself, “that suddenly allthis crazy stuff is going on in theworld?” Let’s see what we’ve hadto put up with since the startof term… a government U-turnon tuition fees, world war breakingout, Gorky’s playing in Time,World Mental Health day, bombsin Bangor, the IRA decommissioningweapons, NUS sending usbilingual campaign material, thepossession of Cannabis becomingno longer an arrestable offence,the return of Bob Connerton….So what is going on? Part of myjob is taking the blame for thingsthat go wrong (I was even blamedfor the entire foot & mouth outbreakin one committee meeting!),but even I can’t put my handsup to events on this scale. I’vebeen ‘in office’ since the first ofAugust, and I haven’t declared waron anyone yet, so I think my termof Presidency can’t be going toobadly. I know that it’s early daysyet, and there will be plenty ofopportunities for me to mess upin really big ways!I have actuallytried to writethis articleeight times.By now, even the most ardent ofthose Fresher’s week hangoverswill have subsided. Your memorymay not be intact, but now you’resettling down into your academicroutine and trying to get used tolife as a student. Great, isn’t it?I hope you’re loving it as muchas I do. Balancing the demandsof lectures with the freedom todo whatever you want is one ofthe best things about student life.One of the worst things about studentlife, however, is that you’reskint. All the time. It’s not a newthing—since time immoral, beinga student and being skint are twofacets of life that walk hand inhand like a pair of new lovers leavingthe Octagon. It’s not somethingyou didn’t realise before youcame here (by the way, it rainshere, too!).Just because being povertystrickenis something we expect,doesn’t mean that it is somethingwe should accept. The governmenthas recently announced areview of student funding. Wemust use this time to hammerhome the message to those bodsin Whitehall that this is a real issuethat directly affects three millionpeople in Britain. So what canwe do, stuck up here in Bangor?We can use the local and nationalmedia (they like us) to put pressureon the key decision makersof the country. November 13thsees a rally against student hardshipin the Main Arts car park (at1pm), we have invited a number ofprominent speakers, and alreadyhave confirmed that Prof. RoyEvans, Vice-Chancellor (the topman) of UWB, will be speaking.He’s the bloke that you get yourdegree from when you graduate,so if you want to know what hethinks about this issue, turn up -it’ll be great! We’ll have bannersand placards and all sorts of funstuff!I’ve got to go now, and geton with some work. Please emailme (james@undeb.bangor.ac.uk)if you want to know more aboutwhat it is that the Union does. Takecare now—we’ll speak soon…

letters@seren.bangor.ac.uk LETTERS SEREN October 2001 21Letters to the EditorSend correspondence to letters@seren.bangor.ac.uk.Jock’s trapSIR—Everyone is aware of howhorribly Jock’s Bar is decorated,and it’s certainly not helpedby the peeling paint, brokenfloor tiles and falling apart,mismatched furniture. However,since they are running yogaclasses in there, I would havethought that they would at leastbrush the floor. It’s hard enoughto relax in a room that looks likethat, without trying to do it lyingon a floor covered in beer, ashand fag ends. We are also unableto switch the lights on becausethe switches are behind the bar,and last time I went it was freezingcold. Please, someone, get ittogether!Unrelaxed in BangorSeren replies: Moves are afootto redecorate Jock’s. Consultationis being headed by Robert Pirie-Warsop, so send your views torobpw@undeb.bangor.ac.uk.Leave the royals aloneSIR—Regarding the campaignto remove the Prince of Walesfrom the Chancellorship ofUWB: only forty or so studentsactually turned up to the GeneralMeeting in which thismotion was passed, so thefact that 70% voted for it isnot as great an endorsementas Mabon Ap Gwynfor wouldlike to think. In fact, had someoneexercised their right tocall quorum, the meeting wouldhave had to be abandoned.One argument put forward bythe former President was thatthe Queen’s annual civil listpayments exceed £10M. Theactual civil list payment to theQueen is, and has been since1991, £7.9M a year. Mabonalso claimed that “the royalsreceive millions of pounds fromthe British government.” Onlytwo other members of the royalfamily receive civil list payments:the Duke of Edinburghand the Queen Mother, whoboth receive less than £1M.Let’s not forget that theQueen owns the Duchy of Lancaster,which last year madeabout £140M in revenue. Incompliance with an Act of Parliament,Her Majesty hands thisover to the Treasury, which inreturn pays her annual allowance.Since the cost of the monarchywas last year estimatedat £40M, the monarchy morethan pays for itself.If the Union wants someoneto blame for the state of educationand health it should blamethe Prime Minister. After all, heis the one who makes the laws!Prince Charles has only everdone what is expected of him.I for one would be extremelyhonoured to receive my degreefrom the future head of state.Shaun HowieMind yourlanguageSIR—I attach a copy of September’sSeren in which I have highlightedall the swear words foryour attention. I would also liketo draw your attention to the factthat all my non-Christian friendshave commented to me that itwould be a great improvement iflanguage more fitting were used.Thus I am not expressing a minorityopinion.As Editor you will be awarethat any self-respecting newspaperin the world of media andjournalism grabs the minds ofits readers by creatively expressinglanguage from a wide vocabulary.If, as Julie Neild suggests onpage 15, many of your staff “wantexperience in journalism,” I amsure they would be able to preparethemselves much more fullyfor the future by perusing the dictionaryrather than the realms ofblasphemy.Thank you for taking the timeto read this letter.Claire WatkinsSeren replies: Seren is distributedto over 8,000 students, so unless youhave an awful lot of friends, youcan’t really be certain yours isn’t aminority viewpoint.Seren does not set out to offendany of its readers; but, in line withthe inclusive ethos of the Students’Union, it does seek to representthe full range of student voices inBangor. Inevitably this means thatnot every article will reflect the tasteof every reader.For the record, last month’s Serencontained 15,958 words, of whichyou identify eight (including “damn”on page 8 and “fan-bloody-tastic”on page 10) as offensive. By moderncultural standards this hardly seemsexcessive. If any other readers wishto criticise or support Seren’s useof language, we’re always happy toreceive your letters.Poor valuefor moneySIR—I am a third year linguisticsstudent. Each year I pay £1,000in tuition fees. That’s £500 perterm. I have only ten lectures thisterm, making each lecture cost£50. Add to that the £900 accommodationfees required to attendmy one lecture a week and youbeing to wonder what the pointactually is. I’ll leave over £10,000in debt for so little education.I disagree with having to payfor an education we should allbe freely entitled to. But if ourgovernment insists on us paying,would it not be fairer to chargefees in proportion to the numberof hours of teaching students aregiven? People with thirty to fortyhours of lectures may disagreewith me, but a more rational andfairer system is definitely needed.Name WithheldEntertain usSIR—I have recently seen a copyof September’s Seren, and wasreally disapointed that the Unionpaper not only had listings forother clubs in Bangor, namely theOctagon, but also hadn’t evengot the event listings for theUnion correct. For future referencethere are complete listingsof what is going on inthe Union on our web page atwww.undeb.bangor.ac.uk/entscom.I’m working very hard to getan Ents Committee together thatwill work. How am I meant tobe able to prove to people thatit can work, and that they cancome and join us, and to stoppeople complaining about entertainmentsin the Union, if theimage that Seren gives is one ofdisorganisation?Georgie WhethamEnts Committee ChairFunnier thanChapmanSIR—I think you’ll find it wasn’tChris Chapman who submitted the“cheese/photographs” question toSeptember’s letters page. It wasme, and I demand credit for beingcleverer and funnier than Chapman.I demand!Disgruntled Ms. H.Seren replies: Seren is happy toacknowledge that somebody who didnot give a name is funnier and clevererthan Chapman.Letters may be edited forlength and clarity.

22 SEREN October 2001 SPORT sport@seren.bangor.ac.ukWomen’s Hockey Firsts: Last year’s Gwynedd Tournament winners got off to a flying start in this year’s BUSA competition.BUSA ReportThe latest on Bangor’s performance in the BritishUniversities Sports Association championshipsReport byJON EWINGAU PresidentSEVENTEEN OF Bangor’s sportsclubs kicked of their BUSA seasonon Wednesday 17th October, withvarying degrees of success. Sure,some of our lads (and gals) tooksome pretty hefty beatings, butthere were some equally good victoriesfor Bangor to be proud of.We’ll start with Men’s Football,who have already doubled thenumber of BUSA wins achievedby last year’s bunch. The competitionin this tournament is fierce,and the second and fourth teamsdid well to emerge victorious—the seconds beating Keele fourthsin their own back yard 3-2, andthe fourths beating Warrington athome by the same score, helpedby a brace from Will Burgess. Thefirsts and thirds didn’t fare so well,losing away games to ManchesterMet. and Keele thirds respectively.The Badminton teams alsoposted a fifty percent success rate,with the Men’s team losing away toWarrington, but the Women’s teamenjoying a 6-3 win over N.E.W.I.Our Basketball girls continuedtheir good form of last season.Helped by top points scorer SusanRowland and a top class performancefrom Player of the MatchGrace Sexton, they cruised to a65-50 win away to a demoralisedChester team. The Men’s seasongets underway next week.Women’s Hockey got off to thebest possible start, with both teamsrecording victories. The firsts wonaway at Manchester Met. 2-1, withgoals from Cherie Daley and JoMontague helping them on theirway. Corrie Donkin scored the onlygoal of the game for the seconds,but that was enough to beat Chester1-0 at home. A goal from StuartMoreton wasn’t enough to preventthe Men’s Hockey firsts fromlosing to Crewe and Alsager 1-3,and the second team unfortunatelyalso went down to Central Lancs.The Netball firsts travelled toLancaster, where Player of theMatch Nicky Jackson was unableto prevent the team losing a closefought game. The seconds alsocame away from Edge Hill emptyhanded.There was no luck for ourLacrosse girls, nor our Rugby teams,but Men’s Tennis posted a whitewashvictory over their Lancasteropposites, beating them 6-0 to putthem top of their Merit League.There’s a heavy schedule in storefor all these teams in November,and I’m sure we all wish them wellon their travels.Toga partyA toga party in the Main Barwould involve foolhardy individualswrapping themselves in sheetsor towels to cross Bangor in aless than pleasant climate. That’sprobably why it hasn’t happenedbefore—until this year that is. Thisfundraising event organised by theCanoe Club attracted an insanenumber of people to the Students’Union, and the majority of themcame in the aforementioned attire.A good night was had by all, so congratulationsto the Canoe Club!Stars in TheirEyes nightThe AU’s Stars In Their Eyes night inFreshers’ Week started slowly, butaround four hundred people eventuallyrolled through the doors tobe entertained. An excellent renditionof “Keep On Moving” fromMen’s Hockey got the show underway,and many thanks go to theDance Club who performed threeacts at short notice. Congratulationsto Rich and Warren fromthe Men’s Rugby team, who stolethe show with their Ricky Martinimpressions and walked away withfirst prize.Nice ChoonsKeep coming to Nice Choonsnights in Main Bar on fortnightlyThursdays, and help your AU clubsmake some money, whilst having agood time yourself! The next NiceChoons night is on the 1st November,and it’s a Beach Party theme.So dust off those grass skirts andHawaiian shirts, and get down toMain Bar for some out of seasonentertainment.Basketball: another sport at which Bangor is taking on the nation’s Universities

sport@seren.bangor.ac.uk SPORTS SEREN October 2001 23Football fansreject 6.15pmkick-offsReport byJON EWINGAU PresidentWith any luck, by the time thisgoes to print, students at the GeneralMeeting on Thursday 25thOctober will have voted in favourof the “Anti-6.15 motion.” The Antiwhat? The “Anti–kick off at 6.15on a Sunday evening motion.” OK,I’ll give you some more detail. ITVSport has decided that NationwideLeague Football games should bescreened live on a Sunday at6.15pm, and on Thursday eveningsat eight. They’ve come to this decisionwithout consulting the verypeople who give English leaguegames such a fantastic atmosphere—thetravelling fans.True dedication is when anExeter City fan gets up at 5amon a Saturday (the traditional, andinternationally approved “matchday”) ready to make the long andarduous journey north to Carlisle.According to the trusty RAC RoutePlanner, that’s a six-hour journey(M6 traffic permitting) taking inover 350 miles to watch a fixturewhich surely only die-hard Exeteror Carlisle fans could possibly findentertaining. Our man from Exetercould expect to arrive back on hisdoorstep somewhere around midnightafter the game. A reasonablehour, I suppose, when you considerthat had he been watchinga home game he’d probably havebeen pissed up in some local winebar until the wee small hours.But what happens when thepowers that be (i.e. ITV Sport)decide that Carlisle versus ExeterCity would make excellent viewingon a Sunday evening? Okay,the chances are slim, I mean, noteven ITV could possibly imaginethat this fixture would draw ina TV audience of more than afew hundred, but it could happen.Mr. Exeter won’t be crawling inbeside Mrs. Exeter until around3am Monday morning. This pissesoff several people. Mrs. Exeterdoesn’t get the attention shedeserves from her football lovingfella, who, in turn doesn’t get hisfill for the night, and Mr. Exeter’sboss is displeased at the work rateof his employee who’s only hadfour hours (at best) sleep the previousnight.It doesn’t even have to be afixture as obscure as Carlisle andExeter—supporters who have torely on public transport face analmost impossible task of travellinghome after the game (whichfinishes after 8pm), whatever thefixture. So ITV are, in effect,squeezing those without their ownform of transport out of the game.Also at a loose end are the youngerfans, the future of the game, whowill be unable to attend due toschool commitments. These arethe grass roots of the English gameand the very fans that we shouldbe trying to encourage to keepturning up at the turnstiles.By making this decision, it’s clearthat ITV Sport has produced footballfor the subscriber, not the supporter.Only two groups of peoplebenefit from showing games atthese times—fat cat TV bossesand fans that would rather stayat home and watch football fromtheir armchairs. And there doesn’tappear to be too many people whofit into that second category—apaltry 1,500 armchair fans tunedin for the game between NottinghamForest and Bradford City lastmonth. Surely ITV Sport are shootingthemselves in the foot hereas they can’t be making a profit.Another “huge” audience of 2,000tuned in to watch a recent Celticmatch on ITV Digital, swelling thefat cat coffers to an even greaterextent. Whilst Celtic, and otherScottish clubs are not directlyrelated to this motion, it’s anotherclear indication that people simplyaren’t, and hopefully never will be,ready for pay-per-view TV footballmatches.Incidentally, 1,500 is the samenumber of people who signed apetition demanding that “ITV givesfar greater consideration to theneeds of paying, travelling supporterswhen scheduling matches forlive transmission.” This petition wastabled by the football supporters’group, “Blind, Stupid and Desperate,”and if the “Anti-6.15” motionis passed, the Students’ Union willally our efforts with this group andpromote their campaign.Football is a beautiful game andan honest sport, but one that’sunfortunately being taken over bycommercialism and greed. It’s timeto do something about it.“Slaughter in the water” as two Octopush players race for the puckOctopush NationalChampionshipsChris Wheeler reports on one of the AthleticUnions’ more obscure sportsSaturday 10th March saw theBangor University’s intrepid Octopushteam travel to Liverpool forthe National Octopush Championships.Starting at 3.15pm andfinishing a little after 9.30pm,Bangor bravely pitted their skillsagainst six other University teamsfrom around the country.Now, for those of you that area bit baffled by this strange gamecalled Octopush, let me give youa brief introduction. Basically, twoteams of six with four rolling substitutesplay on the bottom of aswimming pool and, with the aidof small sticks (called “pushers”),attempt to push what can onlybe described as a lump of plastic-coatedlead the shape of anice hockey puck into the opposition’sgoal. Sounds easy, doesn’tit? Well think again. Octopushis a game that requires fish-likelungs, sprinter-sized thighs andsteel reinforced fingers acquiredby training on a Sunday eveningbetween 7pm and 8pm at Bangorpool.The tournament itself saw thepredicted favourites Aberdeenstroll away with the trophy, andthen proceed to march around Liverpoolin their bloody kilts cryingshameless lines from Braveheart. Iwas really sorry to hear that theirvan was broken into and theirlaptop stolen. Honest.As for Bangor, two teams wentOctopush is agame thatrequires fish-likelungs, sprintersizedthighs andsteel-reinforcedfingers.up and both represented the Universityvaliantly. Bangor “B” teamcame in at an unfortunate seventhplace, though they were certainlynot seen as “whipping boys.” Awell-organised team, under theleadership of club captain Reggie,came very close to offering up afew upsets: however, Lady Luckwas not on their side. Nor, for thatmatter, was the referee.Bangor’s “A” team fared a littlebit better, finishing fifth, thoughthis could quite easily have beenthird. Johnny Marriage’s team producedsome exceptional performancesbut in the end training foronly one hour a week took its toll.Chris Wheeler’s three goals frommidfield were well taken, the finalone being a full length run beatingfour players as he went through.Everyone involved had a greattime, though being dragged outfor a few beverages afterwardswas a bit annoying, but someonehad to drink it. Liverpool werealso good enough to feed all ofthe teams and so our thanks goesto them.What lessons can we learn fromour experience? Firstly, any awaytrip is a good one. Secondly, with abit of practice anyone can becomean alright Octopush player, andfinally (and most importantly), werealised that Octopush really doeslive up to its motto—”slaughterin the water.”If you’re interested in playingOctopush, training is held onSunday evenings from 7pm atBangor pool. The first session isfree.

24 SEREN October 2001 AOB + LISTINGS listings@seren.bangor.ac.ukWhat’s on in BangorA free service provided by Seren. Email eventdetails to listings@seren.bangor.ac.ukOCTOBERFriday 26thMAIN BAR Clint Boon (InspiralCarpets) DJ Set+ Alzatraz 8-1am, £3THEATR GWYNEDD Film AmoresPerros (Love’s a Bitch) (18)7.30pm £3.50 (NUS), £4.50BARRELS Disco Night 9pmOCTAGON Party Night Free B49,£4 after.NORTH WALES THEATRE, LLAN-DUDNO Jane MacDonald 8pm£20, £17.50.Saturday 27thAMSER/TIME Elevate presentsDolphin, Shaun Price, JaySlingsby and residents 8-1am,£5/£7MAIN BAR Nation 8-1am, £1.50BARRELS DJ Zippi 9pmYR HEN GLAN Live DJ’s 8pmOCTAGON Dance Night, £4 B4 9,£5, £1 all draught B4 9.Monday 29thAMSER/TIME 60s70s80s withDJ Randy Lustpants + TributeBand. Free entry, 8-1amYR HEN GLAN Karaoke Free,8.30-11.30pmBLACK BULL Monday ClubSelected bottles £1Tuesday 30thTHE CASTLE Quiz £2 entry, £201st prize, 9.30pmTHE WATERLOO Quiz 50p perperson, free sandwiches, 9pm-ishYR HEN GLAN It’s a Quid Night.All draught beer and bottles (exceptSmirnoff Ice) £1Wednesday 31stMAIN BAR Trash Free Entry, indieroom & rock room. 8-1am.YR HEN GLAN Halloween costumeparty. Come in costume,get a free shot of snot.OCTAGON Student Night. 8-1am,£1 (NUS), £3, selected drinks 50p B49, selected drinks £1 after 9.NOVEMBERThursday 1stAMSER/TIME My Vitriol + guestsQueen Adreena and Seafood.Tickets available from the S.U shop.7 - 1am.MAIN BAR Beach Party 8-1am,£1.50/ £2 no costume.BARRELS Rock Night and promotionaldrinks.YR HEN GLAN Quiz, 9.30pm, 1stprize £75 vouchers, 2nd prize £25vouchers, 3rd prize minute behindthe bar.NORTH WALES THEATRE, LLAN-DUDNO Bill Bailey 8pm, £12.50Friday 2ndTHEATR GWYNEDD India DanceWales present The Tempest.7.30pm £8/£10BARRELS Disco Night 9pmOCTAGON Party NIght Free B49,£4 after.Saturday 3rdMAIN BAR Nation 8-1am, £1.50THEATR GWYNEDD MAB, 7.30pm,£4/£4.50BULKELEY HOTEL, BEAUMARISJohnny Vegas, (£12, £10)BARRELS DJ Zippi 9pmYR HEN GLAN Live DJ’s 8pmOCTAGON Dance Night, £4 B4 9,£5, £1 all draught B4 9.Monday 5thAMSER/TIME 60s70s80s withDJ Randy Lustpants + TributeBand. Free entry, 8-1amYR HEN GLAN Karaoke Free,8.30-11.30pmBLACK BULL Monday ClubSelected bottles £1Tuesday 6thTHEATR GWYNEDD Mark BuxtonExhibit Free, normal hours applyTHE CASTLE Quiz £2 entry, £201st prize, 9.30 startTHE WATERLOO Quiz 50p perperson, free sandwiches, 9pm-ishYR HEN GLAN It’s a Quid Night.All draught beer and bottles (exceptSmirnoff Ice) £1Wednesday 7thMAIN BAR Trash Free entry IndieRoom and Rock Room, 8.00-1am(Doors close 11pm)THE OCTAGON Bliss Free (NUS)B4 8.30pm, £1 (NUS) B4 9pm, £2onwards, £3 non NUS.YR HEN GLAN Disco Music Free8.30pm, promotional drinks availableThursday 8thYR HEN GLAN Quiz, 9.30pm, 1stprize £75 vouchers, 2nd prize £25vouchers, 3rd prize minute behindthe bar.Friday 9thMAIN BAR Fission - DJ Firewall +residents 8-1am, £1.50 B4 9, £2 B410, £3 thereafter!BULKELEY HOTEL, BEAUMARISShow of Hands Folk Music, 7pm,£10NORTH WALES THEATRE, LLAN-DUDNO Four Seasons by Candlelight- Mozart Festival Orchestra.7.30pm, £22, £19, £16, £11Saturday 10thMAIN BAR Nation 8-1am, £1.50BARRELS DJ Zippi 9pmYR HEN GLAN Live DJ’s 8pmOCTAGON Dance Night, £4 B4 9,£5, £1 all draught B4 9.THEATR GWYNEDD Bee GeesGold, 8pm £13.50Sunday 11thEMPIRE HOTEL, LLANDUDNOThe Royal Liverpool PhilharmonicOrchestra, 7.30pm, £23, £20, £17,£13, £8. £3 off top 3 prices (NUS).Monday 12thAMSER/TIME 60s70s80s withDJ Randy Lustpants + TributeBand. Free entry, 8-1amYR HEN GLAN Karaoke Free,8.30-11.30pmBLACK BULL Monday Clubselected bottles £1Tuesday 13thTHE CASTLE Quiz £2 entry, £201st prize, 9.30pmTHE WATERLOO Quiz 50p perperson, free sandwiches, 9pm-ishYR HEN GLAN It’s a Quid Night.All draught beer and bottles (exceptSmirnoff Ice) £1Wednesday 14thAMSER/TIME Orange EnjoyMusic Tour v.2. 1) StantonWarriors + Deadly Avenger 2)Nuphonic Records presentsNorman Jay and Block 16 8-1am,£3 (NUS)/£4MAIN BAR Trash Free Entry, indieroom & rock room. 8-1am.YR HEN GLAN Disco Music Free8.30pm, promotional drinks availableOCTAGON Student Night. 8-1am,£1 (NUS), £3, selected drinks 50p B49pm, selected drinks £1 after 9pm.BULKELEY HOTEL, BEAUMARISRonnie Drew, 7pm £10Thursday 15thYR HEN GLAN Quiz, 9.30pm, 1stprize £75 vouchers, 2nd prize £25vouchers, 3rd prize minute behindthe bar.Friday 16thTHEATR GWYNEDD STAND UPNoel Fielding, John Oliver, SpencerBrown 7.30pm, £8, £5BARRELS Disco Night 9pmOCTAGON Party NIght Free B49,£4 afterHoroscopesAquarius Jan 20-Feb 18Think you’re clever? Well this month you are.Pisces Feb 19-Mar 20You have to do everything this month, so prioritise.Aries March 21-April 19People think you’re brilliant:don’t be stereotyped.Taurus April 20-May 20Don’t look back! Just doyour stuff and succeed.Gemini May 21-June 21Get closure not credit. Loans are evil.Cancer June 22-July 22Its your turn for cheap thrills—but be careful.Across1 Run this to causetrouble (4)3 Belt or window (4)5 A jar—perhapsGrecian? (3)6 Not Christian, forexample (5)7 A female lawyer downa dark street? (4)8 A bird of prey (6)10 Absence ofeverything (6)12 A very long poem,story or film (4)13 These vessels make themost noise (5)14 A mistake (3)15 Cry or rip (4)16 You can be on or pushedover this (4)Editor-in-Chief Darien G-SmithProduction Julie NeildAssoc. Editor Chris ChapmanSub-Editor Ian FallonNewsAcademicUnionCatherine WalkerLola KidneyBob ConnertonLeo July 23-Aug 22Avoid someone you hate,as they’ll reappear.Virgo Aug 23-Sep 22Trust to your instincts and you’ll get on all right.Libra Sep 23-Oct 23All your problems can be solved with common sense.Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 21Get out of any relationshipsthat are a burden to you.Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21Be an adult, and face up to responsibilities.Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 19You’re so sexy you’ll easily get your own way.Seren Quick crossword1 2 3 456 710 11Down1 Lump in the throat? (10)2 Neo knows this! (6)3 Slug with a mobile home (5)4 Toilet hues (anag.) (10)9 Unit of current (6)11 An open sore (5)CommunityCultureMusicMoviesGamesFeaturesListingsSport8 912 131415 16Last month’s answers—Across: 1 Show, 3 NASA, 6 Poinsettia, 8Maps, 10 Earl, 13 Cappuccino, 14 Soya, 15 Keen Down: 1 Sips, 2Opium Poppy, 4 A Still Life, 5 Agas, 7 Elsa, 9 Peru, 11 Aces, 12 NounWRITING FOR SERENTo join the Seren staff writers’ email list, send an email tolistserver@undeb.bangor.ac.uk, subject: subscribe seren. Alternatively,you can get directly in touch with the Section Editors via theemail address at the top of the relevant page.The next issue of Seren goes to print on Tuesday, 13thNovember. Submissions for inclusion should reach the relevantSection Editor at least one week in advance.Karl SadilKirsty HarrisonDan HartleyChris ChapmanMike McGeachinDawn SladeKirsty HarrisonJon Ewing