E-Book of Articles - World Federation of Music Therapy

Schulberg, Cecilia: Many Vioces In One ...
and children and then they do nasty things - (I ask her where she’s feeling
the rage inside her) in my stomach - tightening - I feel I could burst! - I feel
like I’m carrying a lot of rage! - I feel I could blow them up! - these “sweet,
wonderful” people - [I encourage her to stay with her experience, pause] I
still can’t imagine how these Germans get into hunting people - guess
that’s the duality - so I see them singing sweetly, and I don’t buy it, ‘cause
I know about the other side of their actions - the thought of being like my
parents, the victims of their actions, I don’t know what I’d do with that
rage, guess I have it too, it’s poisonous! - I’m getting the image of a neck,
that I could crack it! - (I ask her if she’s doing that) yeah, I could kick and
do a lot of damage! (I ask her to bring those feelings into her hands and
feet)
- [to facilitate the release of her rage the music was changed at this point
to Helen’s “Affect Release” program, which begins with “Mars” from Holst’s
The Planets] -
(I encourage her to bring the music inside her) I’m feeling a lot of rage! - I
feel I could punch and take a knife and stick it to them! - I feel I could kill
them with a rifle! [positions hands as if holding a rifle] - (I ask her what it
feels like to hold the rifle) actually light, and powerful, I’m feeling more
power than anger now! - I want them to sweat a little, I see them begging,
but no faces - (I ask her if she can let herself see their faces) I see their cold
blue eyes, blond hair and smirks on their faces it makes me angry, I want to
kick them, step on them! (I encourage her to bring her feelings into her
feet) [she moves down to kick and step on the end of the couch] I’m
stepping on their stomachs, their [genitals], their faces, I’m jumping up
and down on them - (I ask her if she has anything to say to them) “[Screw]
you! See what it feels like?!” - now they’re cowering - (I ask her how she
feels) I don’t like it, this isn’t me, I’m not violent - I wish I could stay with
the anger and let it out more but it just isn’t me -
[The 2nd. Selection is Bach’s “Toccata and Fugue in dm”] I think the pain
eats me, not knowing what to do with it - the Nazis are now standing
around a pit and they have rifles this time - I’m standing, watching - I’m
going to be one of the people now with no power, I know what’s up ahead
and I can’t believe it, I have no say - makes me feel in my life I have a lot
of say, I don’t like authority, I don’t want anyone holding anything over
me....I live life the way I do so I don’t let the system affect me - (I ask her
if the Nazis are still there) a little bit, I just try to remain anonymous....I’m
217