E-Book of Articles - World Federation of Music Therapy

Sutton, Julie; Beyond the Ordinairy
then we confirm the survivor's view that what happened to them,
and is still happening inside them, is indeed unbearable." 36
I feel that Jerry needed to be invited to return to the room in much this
way.
As Jerry's story developed further the sessions took on an intensity and pace
that resulted in twice-weekly sessions of 50 to 60 minutes. This was a
relatively short period (covering four weeks in total) within the 40 sessions
of his therapy. These sessions were difficult and I was left with a sense of
increasing tension moving towards some unnamed, dreadful conclusion. This
culminated in one, long session of almost 90 minutes in total (the extra 30
minutes comprised a period of recovery and reassembling). During this
session Jerry's story moved to a point where he developed a dialogue
between to apparently warring characters. They taunted each other, with
one character having to actively stand up to the other. Eventually the words
ran out and Jerry screamed and screamed.
I think that at this point it was just enough to survive. It is difficult to listen
to this session even now and in hindsight I wonder how I might have
responded differently. However, at the time I made an honest response to
material that was difficult for Jerry and for me too. I feel that this session
marked a point at which the terrors I spoke of earlier not only surfaced but
were expelled into music. We can hypothesise this process as linked to
Bion's 'beta elements', the chaotic, the broken up and the unbearable, that
if uncontained result in the state of "nameless dread".
In summary, it can be suggested that our early experiences are not only
carried throughout life but also in some altered form passed on our children.
When faced with physical threat to survival as a result of violence in the
outside community, these early survival experiences influence the ways in
36 Garland, C. (1998) as before, pp29
237