May 2008 - Epilepsy Australia

from darkness into lightconsequence of a seizure, allowing me torecognise the actions of the pre-ictal andpost-ictal period. This knowledge gaveme the opportunity to not only recogniseand understand why particular emotionsare experienced prior to the convulsion,but also an ability to return back toregular activities without emotions suchas depression, a factor of the post-ictalperiod for many, from strongly affectingme.I purchased the audio recording of abook titled, Practicing the power of now,written and read by the author, EckhartTolle and listened to this CD seriesevery night as I went to bed. This bookwas extremely helpful and providedan insight into the personal and socialdifficulties I was experiencing.It is unfortunate that epilepsyeducation services are not readily madeavailable to both a person with epilepsyand those who are closest to them as theonset of epilepsy in adulthood can oftenlead to a division in relationships and inthe family environment.This lack in knowledge was a stronginfluence in the separation and endingof my two marriages. It has been thesetwo experiences in combination withthe ability to develop a third personperspective when reflecting on them,that I adopted following the reading ofTolle’s book. This has enabled me toobjectively understand the difficultiesthat the partner experiences.The major difficulty that I experiencedfollowing the separation in my secondmarriage in 2003 was the need to dependcompletely upon myself. This meantwalking for 30 minutes to the closestsupermarket, and bringing home severalbags of groceries by bus on a weeklybasis. I was now required to take careof both myself and the home, includingpaying the bills and maintaining thehome, which was difficult to perform.It was at this time that I began not onlyto keep a diary to remind me of allthe activities I needed to do, but alsoa journal to understand the emotionaldifficulties I was experiencing.Adopting the advice of my mother tokeep a journal, writing on a daily basisthe actions that I had performed andthe emotions I was experiencing, wasa great breakthrough after having beenthrough long periods of depression.This action saw me stepping fromdarkness into the light. I became notonly aware of the impact of surgeryand seizures on my memory, but alsothe psychological effects created by thelack of knowledgeable support and thisallowed me to recognise the difficultiesI was experiencing. In fact it was thisneed to understand that developed mystrength and dedication to continue mystudies and offer understanding andeducation to others.The two operations, and the periodsof recovery saw my Bachelor of Arts(Sociology) degree taking seven anda half years (June 2005) to complete.I began studying a Graduate Diplomain Psychology in the second semesterof 2005, and due to the completion ofrelevant subjects while studying myB.A., I was able to complete this degreeat the end of 2006. I began my presentdegree, the Masters of Philosophy at thebeginning of 2007. This two year degreewill be completed this year (2008).Following the submission and markingof this research paper I will begin myDoctor of Philosophy (PhD) studies,2009.The use of computer programs, suchas Kurzweil and Dragon NaturallySpeaking, has assisted my academicstudies immensely. There have beentimes in the past when I have beenadvised by academics and specialiststo “forget it all” and find some job in asupermarket. It has been my own beliefsthat by achieving these goals I can offerthe inspiration for others to attempt toaccomplish what seem to be unattainablegoal, and also perform academicresearch on epilepsy, offering knowledgeand understanding from an angle that, tothis point, has not been shown.At times I have felt that the hurdlesbefore me were insurmountable, butI have learnt to access help throughdisability services. During my journeyI have had help from some wonderfulpeople, but I had to find my way firstbefore I could start helping others.As well as studying and singing inthe University choir, I also offer supportfor men who have developed epilepsyas an adult and their families, assistingthem to understand the changes that arerequired to be made, both physically andsocially.I believe that many people havethe ability to attain what seem to beimpossible dreams if the necessaryknowledge and support are readily madeavailable to all concerned.Martin has chosen epilepsy as the area of studyfor his thesis and is still recruiting participantsfor this project. A detailed description of Martin’sresearch project and a call for participants can befound on the following page.THE EPILEPSY REPORT MAY 200815