The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

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The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

HELPING AFTER DEATH 317dead person, simple ways they too can use, instead of sittinghopelessly going over again and again the moment of death insilent frustration and self-recrimination.In the case of a sudden death, the survivors may oftenexperience wild and unfamiliar feelings of anger at what theysee as the cause of the death. Help them express that anger,because if it is held inside, sooner or later it will plunge theminto a chronic depression. Help them to let go of the angerand uncover the depths of pain that hide behind it. Then theycan begin the painful but ultimately healing task of letting go.It happens often too that someone is left after the death ofa loved one feeling intense guilt, obsessively reviewing mistakesin the past relationship, or torturing themselves about whatthey might have done to prevent the death. Help them to talkabout their feelings of guilt, however irrational and crazy theymay seem. Slowly these feelings will diminish, and they willcome to forgive themselves and go on with their lives.A HEART PRACTICEI would now like to give you a practice that can truly helpyou when you are suffering from deep sorrow and grief. It isa practice my master Jamyang Khyentse always used to giveto people who were going through emotional torment or mentalanguish and breakdown, and I know from my own experienceit can bring enormous relief and solace. The life ofsomeone teaching in a world like ours is not an easy one.When I was younger there were many moments of crisis anddifficulty, and then I would always invoke Padmasambhava, asI still always do, thinking of him as the same as all my masters.And so I discovered for myself how transforming thispractice is, and why all my masters used to say that the practiceof Padmasambhava is the most useful when you gothrough turmoil, because it has the power you need to takeon and survive the chaotic confusion of this age.So whenever you are desperate, anguished, or depressed,whenever you feel you cannot go on, or you feel your heart isbreaking, I advise you to do this practice. The only conditionsto the effectiveness of this practice are that you need to do itwith all your might, and that you need to ask, really to ask,for help.Even if you practice meditation, you will have emotionalpain and suffering, and a lot of things from your past lives orthis one may emerge that will be difficult to face. You may

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