The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

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The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

392 APPENDIX THREEnot that I haven't tried: I bought a whole suitcase full of pills. But Istopped that question quite a while ago. I guess the reason I did wasbecause it seemed it would be manipulating and interfering with theprocess that has started. This process is very cleansing for me. Iknow there is a lot of karma being burned up. It's cleansing perhapsfor my mother, because I offer this for her. She suffers quite a bit.Then there are spiritual friends in this group whom I love like brothersand sisters; they suffer too. I have made this covenant withPadmasambhava: If I have to stay around and suffer so that some ofit could help cleanse and purify you as well as me, what a blessingthat would be! This is my prayer. And I'm not a person who likes tosuffer, I can guarantee you that! But I feel that grace, that blessing,pushing me gently into that suffering.And at this point, from studying what I have studied of Rinpoche'steachings on the bardos, death is not an enemy. Just like our thoughtsare not to be seen as enemies And life is not an enemy. Life issomething glorious, because in this life we can awaken to who wetruly are.So I beg you—from the bottom of my heart—not to waste theopportunity you have, while you are still relatively healthy, to workwith what Rinpoche is offering you... He knows how to get to thepoint in speaking and teaching about what Dzogchen is, and heknows how to take you there in the heart. That is so important: andespecially when you are getting ready to die.So I'm here to say goodbye. At least for this time around ... Iwant to say goodbye to all those of you who have become mybrothers and sisters, those of you whom I know but have not hadthe privilege of getting to know better, those of you I have not evenmet... I have a feeling that within the next six months I may die. Itcould be within the next three months. So I hold you all in my heart,and I see you all bright and shining. There is no darkness. It is justlight from Padmasambhava's heart, pervading all of us. Thanks to themaster's blessing.

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