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e-asTTle writing generic exemplars

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e-asTTle writinggeneric exemplarsThis set of exemplars illustrates the use of the e-asTTle marking rubric to score writing across the writing prompts. The exemplars cover the full scoring range, and the full range of skilldevelopment, for each element of writing. Generic exemplars are referenced in the marking rubric, with two exemplars linked to each scoring category within each element. These two exemplarsprovide practical examples of writing that falls within that scoring category (for example, category R2 in spelling, or category R6 in ideas).page numberA library 1And the All Blacks scored! 2By the mall 4Don't move 5Evolving life pattern 7Fealing seaweed 9Heavy-booted feet 10I be kin 12I personally believe 13Margin for era 15My iPod 16Plastic bags 18Rainbow's end 20Sn 22Stificit 23The adventerous dog 24The Erfeh 25The girl 26Think about 27When I 28Yea I'm agree 29Youth gym 30«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNO


Prompt 14:Exemplar 2:A special place in the communityA libraryEO1402ELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R4Structure and language R1–R6 R4Organisation R1–R7 R5Vocabulary R1–R6 R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R4Punctuation R1–R7 R5SpellingRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1402RANGE CATEGORYR1–R6R4The text has several ideas with some elaboration. Ideas arebeginning to show complexity through relation to the widerworld (parents encouraging their children to go to the library).Text has a brief introduction and conclusion. The body showssome development, with supporting details and examples.Language features are appropriate to the purpose (to explain):use of present tense, active verbs (read, research, incorge), andlinking words showing cause and effect (because if…). Thefamiliar tone is sometimes distracting (or whatever you think;way more than that; kids).Paragraphs show some focus and there is an attempt to usethem appropriately for the prompt (new paragraph for eachidea). One paragraph is not marked (Its also good to have alibrary so perints can...). Text is coherent.Text consists of mostly everyday words. A small number ofprecise, technical and academic words are used to provide detail(research, experiments, incorge [encourage]).Low R4. Correct sentences are extended and begin to showvariety in structure. Other sentences have errors such assubject–verb agreement (because if their was no librarys) andmissing or repeated words.Sentence punctuation is correct (one run-on sentence ‘ ... Whatkids do ... its way more than that ...’). Uses commas for lists andalso uses a comma correctly for phrasing. Misses the apostropheto show contraction in its. Apparent random capitals (e.g.,Week, Community) may be due to handwriting style. Onbalance, low R5.Most high-frequency words are correct. Achieves closeapproximations of more difficult words. Some error is due toover-generalisation (e.g., of the ending -ent in importent,wouldent).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=N===


Prompt 13:Exemplar 4:The referee is always rightAnd the All Blacks scored!EO13004«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=O===


Prompt 13:Exemplar 4:The referee is always rightAnd the All Blacks scored!ELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R6Structure and language R1–R6 R6Organisation R1–R7 R6Vocabulary R1–R6 R6Sentence structure R1–R6 R6Punctuation R1–R7 R7Spelling R1–R6 R6RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1304RANGE CATEGORYIdeas are complex, developed, and show reflection on thewider world with extended generalisation and abstraction(human nature and the influence of power, wealth andfame).Structural and language features have been combined toproduce a controlled and effective text.Paragraphs support the development of the text, but are notalways indicated correctly (some long paragraphs could beseparated into smaller units). Further development ofcohesion across the text and within paragraphs would helpthe reader follow key ideas.Language has been deliberately chosen to create effects(e.g., use of informal language in the phrase those bloodyAussies ... cheating their way to victory).Sentences show control and have been crafted to createeffects (e.g., repetition in Fate rests in your hands. The fateof the players, the fate of the coaches, the fate of the crowd).Minor errors (one instance of incorrect tense within asentence; a couple of missing words) do not detract frommeaning.Punctuation is mostly controlled and used effectively,including complex punctuation (colons, dashes, commas forphrasing and clauses).Spells a wide range of difficult words correctly (inept,imperfect, biased). The only errors are succum and penalthy.«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=P===


Prompt 17 :Exemplar 1:The marketBy the mallELEMENTRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1701RANGE CATEGORYIdeas R1–R6 R2 Several simple ideas with minimal elaboration.Structure and language R1–R6 R2Organisation R1–R7 R2Focuses on one key element of topic – food. Attempts to adddescriptive detail through use of adjectives (howfy [healthy],jasee [juicy].Contains like ideas, some of which are grouped (e.g., whatpeople at the market see). Text has some coherence.Vocabulary R1–R6 R1 Uses a small range of simple words from personal vocabulary.Sentence structure R1–R6 R1Punctuation R1–R7 R1Spelling R1–R6 R2Several missing words. Errors in pronoun use and subject–verbagreement (howfy food they are jasee).Capital at the beginning. Full stop at end. An incorrect full stopat what might have been the original ending (Simsims tiys.).A few personal and high-frequency words spelt correctly (I, and,they, food, see, the). Attempts a wider range of words usingphoneme–grapheme relationships (tocking [talking] myt[might]).Transcript:I thinking it is by the mall and I thinking the people aretalking about what healthy food they might [.....] feeling theysee some healthy food they are juicy and yum and they saw[.....] and they saw [.....] toys. and food.E01701«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=Q===


Prompt 21:Exemplar 4:I heard a whisper but no one was thereDon’t moveE02104«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=R===


Prompt 21:Exemplar 4:I heard a whisper but no one was thereDon’t moveELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R6Structure andlanguageRUBRIC RUBRICRANGE COMMENTS CATEGORY COMMENTS E02104R1–R6R6Organisation R1–R7 R7Vocabulary R1–R6 R6Sentence structure R1–R6 R6Punctuation R1–R7 R7Spelling R1–R6 R6Ideas show originality and insight, with reference tocomplex issues such as family violence, and generalisationto universal feelings (real fear makes you paralyzed).Although some aspects of the story could be developedfurther (e.g., the father’s motive for looking for thedaughter/murderer), the ideas are sufficiently effective andelaborated for a category R6.The orientation is compelling and engages the reader. Thebody of the text creates tension and suspense, building to aclimax towards the end. Language features are controlledfor purpose: present tense is used to bring the reader intothe moment, descriptive language is used throughout, andcharacters are developed.Paragraphs are structured and linked to pace the narrativeand build tension.Language choices consistently enhance meaning and mood(gripping their mouths shut while they whimper and sob;Nearly suffocating like a fish out of water under my hands).Sentences are deliberately crafted to have an effect on thereader: e.g., short, choppy sentences build the pace andsense of dread (Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t evenbreathe).While there are some errors in punctuating direct speech,and with contractions and apostrophes, the punctuation isused to enhance meaning and to guide the reader throughthe text.Writes with few errors and spells a wide range of difficultwords correctly (whimper, echo, comfortable, immediately,surprised, surrounding, sympathy).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=S===


Prompt 10:Exemplar 3:A frog life cycleEvolving life patternE01003«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=T===


Prompt 10:Exemplar 3:A frog life cycleEvolving life patternELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R5Structure and language R1–R6 R3Organisation R1–R7 R6Vocabulary R1–R6 R4Sentence structure R1–R6 R5Punctuation R1–R7 R4Spelling R1–R6 R5RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E01003RANGE CATEGORYIdeas are elaborated, and show some complexity (e.g.,froglets are less vulnerable than tadpoles; the role of malefrogs).An introduction orients the reader to the topic, the bodydescribes stages in the life cycle (although one stage, frogspawn, is missing) and a concluding statement rounds thewriting off (A frog’s life cycle soon starts again). Thelanguage features are partly appropriate for purpose,although the tone verges on expressive and is sometimestoo informal (mix with the wrong crowd/kinda).Paragraphs are appropriate and developed. Sub-headingshelp to direct the reader through the text.Uses some academic and subject-specific vocabulary to addprecision and detail (develops, expands, vulnerable,predators, dominant, evolving). Use of precise words isinconsistent (e.g., everyday language in really, really small)and experimentation with vocabulary is not always effective(a evolving life pattern).Sentences show variety and sophistication, with consistentattempts to create effects. Errors include lose/gain verbagreement, incorrect article in first sentence, and incorrectnoun−pronoun reference tadpoles/it).Most sentence punctuation is correct. There is someexperimentation with commas for effect. Uses possessiveapostrophe (sometimes correct) and double quotationmarks for emphasis (unsuccessfully). Some correct andincorrect commas in list. Enough experimentation forcategory R5.Correct spelling of high-frequency words and some difficultwords (evolving, separation, predators, vicious, dominant).Incorrect words include vunerable, there, lerking, developes.There is a missing letter in bod parts.«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=U===


Prompt 04:Exemplar 1:Adult and childFealing seaweedE00401ELEMENTRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E00401RANGE CATEGORYIdeas R1–R6 R2 Several simple ideas with minimal elaboration.Structure and language R1–R6 R3Organisation R1–R7 R3Vocabulary R1–R6 R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R2Punctuation R1–R7 R3Spelling R1–R6 R4Although there is no orientation or conclusion, the textdescribes key elements of the photograph (what the people aredoing, and the girl’s expression). Language features are mostlyappropriate: includes sensory detail (hear the waves crashing;see seaweed swishing); uses present tense.Text is brief and coherent. The ideas are grouped and presentedlogically (what the participants can feel, hear, see and smell).Spaces between lines are random, rather than paragraphbreaks.Uses a range of words related to the topic (seaweed, beach),and some precise phrases (waves crashing, seaweed swishing).Beginning to experiment with figurative language(onomatopoeia: crashing; swishing).Sentences have basic structures with a little extension. Mostsentences are correct (word missing in they are a really goodtime).Full stops are used correctly to mark the end of sentences(except for final sentence). Capital letters are missing or usedinappropriately. One correct contraction (doesn’t).Spells most high-frequency words correctly (error in ther[they’re]). Spells some longer words correctly, showingknowledge of common morphemes (e.g., -ing in crashing,swishing). Errors show over-generalisation (e.g., incorrect use ofthe vowel digraph ‘ea’ in freash and fealing).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=V===


Prompt 20:Exemplar 3:The BushHeavy-booted feetE02003«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NM===


Prompt 20:Exemplar 3:The BushHeavy-booted feetELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R5Structure and language R1–R6 R4Organisation R1–R7 R6Vocabulary R1–R6 R6Sentence structure R1–R6 R6Punctuation R1–R7 R6Spelling R1–R6 R6RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E02003RANGE CATEGORYIdeas show complexity by going beyond the writer’simmediate world to consider the relationship betweenhumans and the environment.Orientation and complication are developed and engage thereader’s interest. The ending is brief and lacks resolution.Some language features are appropriate to the purpose: useof past tense (not consistent), connectives showingsequence of events (just as, then), descriptive language. Onbalance, the text describes a scene, rather than narrating astory: there is insufficient control for purpose for a categoryR5.Paragraphs are developed. The change to past tense fromthe last sentence of the first paragraph causes a minorinterruption to flow.Deliberate and sustained use of expressive words andphrases to create atmosphere and imagery (heavy-bootedfeet, quivers, bulging backpacks). Some minor glitchescaused by use of clichéd or everyday language (e.g.,adorable creatures) or unnecessary words (Fred).Sentences are crafted for effect. Minimal error (subject–verbagreement: the sweet song of birds fill [fills] the air; missingword: taking [the] shape of a tui chick).Correct sentence punctuation (one instance of sentencesjoined with a comma – see opening statement). Otherpunctuation assists the reader: e.g., commas are controlledto clarify meaning, hyphens to assist imagery (skyscraperlike,cotton-soft), possessive apostrophe (spectators’). Someminor error: hyphen (over-head), contraction (it’s).One spelling error (see last sentence – thats). Text includes arange of difficult words: visible, miniscule, adorable,creatures, camera, spectators, sweat, talons, certainly,plummeting.«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NN===


Prompt 15:Exemplar 1:Good friendsI Be KinEO1501ELEMENTRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1501RANGE CATEGORYIdeas R1–R6 R2 A few simple ideas.Structure and language R1–R6 R1Organisation R1–R7 R1 Very short text.Structural and language features of explanation notpresent/undeveloped.Vocabulary R1–R6 R1 A small range of personal, everyday words.Sentence structure R1–R6 R1Punctuation R1–R7 R1 One full stop at end of writing.Spelling R1–R6 R2One long sentence in which simple units of meaning are joinedby ‘and’.A few personal/sight words are correct. Unfamiliar words areattempted using phoneme–grapheme relationships (pepall[people], sowey [sorry]).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NO===


Prompt 11:Exemplar 4:Music is more important than sportI personally believeEO1104«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NP===


Prompt 11:Exemplar 4:Music is more important than sportI personally believeELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R5Structure and language R1–R6 R6Organisation R1–R7 R7Vocabulary R1–R6 R5Sentence structure R1–R6 R6Punctuation R1–R7 R5Spelling R1–R6 R5RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1104RANGE CATEGORYIdeas are complex and show evidence of generalisation to awider world (e.g., problems of obesity). Some ideas are notdeveloped or are not explained sufficiently (e.g., therelationship between sport and diet).Text contains an introduction, body and conclusion andthese are developed and appropriate for purpose. Languagefeatures are also appropriate. Text maintains a mostlymature and academic/scientific tone, with minor lapses.Paragraphs are controlled and developed. Topic sentenceslink ideas and relate back to the position statement in theintroductory paragraph (i.e., sport helps promote health andwellbeing).Text includes language specific to the topic, with a sense ofprecision (obesity, diabetes). Use of everyday/informallanguage causes some jarring (fat kids).Sentences are correct and are used to convey precisemeanings, with impact and effect that engages the reader(Music has benefits but sport has more). Error in use ofrelative pronoun in one sentence (There are many people inthe world that [who] play music).Sentences are punctuated correctly and there is somecorrect use of other punctuation (contractions and commasfor lists and phrasing). Some punctuation is missing. Use ofblock letters throughout text is distracting and makes itdifficult to determine if capital letters are used correctly.Some difficulty with commonly misspelt words (there/their,to/too, loose/lose) but most high-frequency words arecorrect. Many difficult words are attempted (fulfilled,oxygen, diabetes) and the majority are correct.«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NQ===


Prompt 13:Exemplar 2:The referee is always rightMargin for eraELEMENTIdeasRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1302RANGE CATEGORYR1–R6R4Structure and language R1–R6 R3Organisation R1–R7 R3Vocabulary R1–R6 R4Sentence structure R1–R6 R3Punctuation R1–R7 R3Spelling R1–R6 R3Text has one basic idea (margin of error), which is elaboratedthrough explanation. A clear opinion (main idea) is stated andmaintained through the text.No introduction to the topic but a clear attempt at aconclusion/summary. Uses timeless present tense: their willalways be a bilist [biased] refee. Text connectives (evin with ...)and conjunctions (because, but) help to structure the argument.Uses modal verbs (must, will never go away, will always be).Text is coherent. ‘Paragraphs’ are indicated but their useappears random. Text does not display sufficient control overgrouping and sequencing of ideas for a category R4.Some precise, technical and subject-specific words and phrases(margin for era [error], new temolge [technology], bilist[biased]). Vocabulary goes beyond simple and everyday words.Correct simple and complex sentences show variety. Errorsinclude missing words (new temolge can make [it/making adecision] beter or wors).Some correct use of sentence punctuation. Other sentences lackcapitals to begin. Also uses a forward slash he/she (although thiswould be better as ‘he or she’), and experiments with a commaas a way of introducing explanatory statements (summary,).A range of high-frequency words is spelt correctly. More difficultwords are attempted, using knowledge of phoneme–graphemerelationships (deisin [decision], bilist [biased]).EO1302«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NR===


Prompt 13:Exemplar 1:The referee is always rightYea I’m agreeEO1301ELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R3Structure and languageRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1301RANGE CATEGORYR1–R6R2Organisation R1–R7 R3Vocabulary R1–R6 R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R1Punctuation R1–R7 R2Spelling R1–R6 R4Although there is some generalisation to the wider world (areferee has most important things to do...), the text consists ofbrief points written in list form. The main idea is related to thetopic and has some elaboration.Some points of explanation provided in support of opinion. Usespresent tense and tone is mostly appropriate (rational/logical),with a minor slip in formality at the beginning (yea, I’m agree).Text is very short but has coherence. Ideas are logically grouped(i.e., important attibutes of a referee).Uses a small number of precise, descriptive words, includingadjectives (important, alert, prosive [positive]), among mostlyeveryday words.With the possible exception of a short initial sentence, the textconsists of one run-on sentence with errors (subject–verbagreement, missing or incorrect words, noun–pronounagreement).Possibly one full stop after ‘agree’ and another at end of text(writing makes it hard to distinguish). No other sentencepunctuation. Other punctuation includes correct use ofcontraction, comma and colon. Text is a mixture of upper andlower case letters. On balance, category R2 (text has features ofcategory 1 and category R3).Low R4. Spells a range of high-frequency words correctly (e.g.,person, works, right, things, important). One difficult word speltcorrectly (alert), and one error in a difficult word (prosive[positive]).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NS===


Prompt 19:Exemplar 1:The day things started disappearingMy iPodEO1901«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NT===


Prompt 19:Exemplar 1:The day things started disappearingMy iPodELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R3Structure and language R1–R6 R3Organisation R1–R7 R3Vocabulary R1–R6 R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R3Punctuation R1–R7 R3Spelling R1–R6 R3RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1901RANGE CATEGORYThere is a main storyline with some development. The ideasdo not have the complexity required to move to category R4.Opening sentences give a clear orientation – when, what andwhere. Language features are mostly appropriate: use ofdialogue, past tense (though not maintained through text),nouns related to the event (beglar [burglar], Police, bag);linking words to show sequence of events (Later that day).Ideas are sequenced to show the order of events, butparagraphs are not used. Tense across the text isinconsistent, moving randomly between past and present.This interrupts the flow.Uses a range of everyday words and phrases, with a smallnumber of precise words and phrases to add interest anddetail: ‘at 5:25 pm my $100 doler notes disappeared’.Errors in verb tense and word form cause problems withsome sentences in the first part of the text (e.g., thesentence beginning ‘Whill I was going to buy …’. The secondhalf of the text contains many short, correct sentences withsome variation in length (I skremnd) and type (e.g., use ofdirect speech).Some sentences in the first part of the text are correctlypunctuated with capital letters and full stops. Sentencepunctuation is missing in the second part of the text. Noother punctuation attempted. Some random use of capitalletters throughout the text.A range of high-frequency words is correct. Attempts atother words demonstrate use of phoneme–graphemerelationships (miss plast [misplaced], skremnd [screamed],posabol [possible]).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NU===


Prompt 8:Exemplar 3:Caring for planet EarthPlastic bagsEOO803«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=NV===


Prompt 8:Exemplar 3:Caring for planet EarthPlastic bagsELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R6Structure and language R1–R6 R5Organisation R1–R7 R4Vocabulary R1–R6 R5Sentence structure R1–R6 R5Punctuation R1–R7 R4Spelling R1–R6 R6RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO0803RANGE CATEGORYIdeas are complex and explore issues outside the writer’simmediate world (the relationship between environmental,economic and social systems). There is evidence of reflection(I feel a better solution ...). Elaboration is provided throughexamples and evidence to support points. Main idea isfocused.Effective introduction, which defines key terms. Conclusionis under-developed. Text meets the purpose of the prompt.Language features are appropriate: present tense, some useof passive voice (plastic bags are used), and conjunctions toexpress logical relationships (so, because). A reasoned toneis maintained. However, use of a smiley face symbol to endthe text is inappropriate.Ideas are grouped and use of linking words across text allowstext to flow logically. No attempt to use paragraphs;however, the reader has a sense of where these begin andend.Uses subject-specific words and some academic words(decreases, produced) appropriately to achieve the promptpurpose. Some words are used incorrectly (unneeded; overagain).Sentences are mostly controlled and show variation instructure. One sentence is incomplete (missing verb insentence beginning These problems such as ...).Sentence punctuation is mostly correct. Correct use of acomma in a list. Does not have the experimentation withcomplex punctuation that is required for category R5.No errors. Spells a range of difficult words correctly(pollution, effective, decompose).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OM===


Prompt 5:Exemplar 6:Whānau and family timeRainbow’s endE00506«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=ON===


Prompt 5:Exemplar 6:Whānau and family timeRainbow’s endELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R4Structure and language R1–R6 R4Organisation R1–R7 R4Vocabulary R1–R6 R4Sentence structure R1–R6 R4Punctuation R1–R7 R4Spelling R1–R6 R5RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E00506RANGE CATEGORYText has many ideas, some of which are elaborated.Generalised impression of excitement and some reflectionon feelings.The opening sentences, while interesting, do not provide aclear orientation to the topic (e.g., where the event is takingplace). The body of the text is developed, with a sequence ofevents and some personal comment (e.g., I knew I was goingto have a great day). Language features are appropriate topurpose: use of past tense and connectives denoting time(first, last, then).Text shows control over grouping and sequencing of ideas.The reader can infer where paragaph breaks would be, eventhough paragaphs are not used.Word choice adds information and detail (e.g., the names ofrides). Movement and sound are evoked through figurativelanguage (shot down) and other simple words are used in aprecise way (round and round and up and down; up up upclick).Sentences are correct. The majority are simple andcompound, with some variety and extension (I knew I was …I was going to ride on the log ride but it was not on …).Correct sentence punctuation with two instances of otherpunctuation (comma after WOW and before MMM).Random capitals throughout.Spells common words and some difficult words correctly(awesome, decided, motion, power surge). Errors include of[off], allready, witch [which], storys, rollacosters, sandwichies.Length of text gets this over the line into category R5.«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OO===


Prompt 5:Exemplar 2:Whānau and family timeS nELEMENTRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E00502RANGE CATEGORYIdeas R1–R6 R1 Ideas cannot be inferred from text.Structure and language R1–R6 R1 No structural or language features appropriate to purpose.Organisation R1–R7 R1 Very short script that has no coherence.Vocabulary R1–R6 R1Sentence structure R1–R6 R1 Text consists of fragments.Punctuation R1–R7 R1 No use of punctuation.Spelling R1–R6 R1Two personal words: I (although difficult to distinguish whetherit is intended as a separate word) and the.Letter names are used to represent meaning. Spells two wordsfrom personal vocabulary correctly (I, the).E00502«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OP===


Prompt 7:Exemplar 2:What I did wellStifcitE00702ELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R3Structure and language R1–R6 R3Organisation R1–R7 R3RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E00702RANGE CATEGORYIdeas are simple and unelaborated. An emerging main idea –proud of receiving a certificate.Recounts an event – the day a certificate was received – withsome personal comment. Opening sentence provides a basicorientation to the topic. Language features are appropriate:mostly consistent use of past tense (one minor error ‘tech’[teach]), connectives to show sequence of events (then, when,after), first person pronouns.Text is sequenced to show order of events. Pronoun it is a littledistant from the noun it refers to (stifcit).Vocabulary R1–R6 R2 Uses a range of simple, everyday words.Sentence structure R1–R6 R2Punctuation R1–R7 R3Spelling R1–R6 R2Correct simple, compound and basic complex sentences (e.g.,basic complex sentence When we went to class I put it in mybook bag). Sentences are short with minimal extension.Some sentences are punctuated correctly (particularly towardsend of text). No other punctuation is attempted.Spells a small range of personal and high-frequency wordscorrectly (class, proud, when, book, after, home, they, were).Attempts at some other words use phoneme–graphemerelationships – all sounds are present (my saoulf, tech).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OQ===


Prompt 1:Exemplar 2:Dogs at the beachThe adventerous dogE00102ELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R3Structure and language R1–R6 R1Organisation R1–R7 R3RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E00102RANGE CATEGORYIdeas are relevant to topic. Ideas are simple (drawn from afamiliar world – pet dog, beach, fireside scene) with some basicelaboration.Structural and language features are not appropriate forprompt’s purpose. They are suitable for the purpose ‘to narrate’rather than the purpose ‘to describe’.Text generally flows but is interrupted by problems withpronouns (I/we/they), which lead to confusion aboutparticipants. Repetition and incorrect use of ‘so’ cause glitchesin clause relationships.Vocabulary R1–R6 R2 Uses a range of simple, everyday words.Sentence structure R1–R6 R2Punctuation R1–R7 R2Spelling R1–R6 R4Correct simple, compound and complex sentences. Sentencesare short and have minimal extension. High R2.One instance of correct full stop. Letter formation makes itdifficult to determine use of capital letter for dog’s name. Someincorrect use of capitals (Hot, Jam).Spells a wide range of high-frequency words correctly (beach,love, out, fire, drinking, eating, some). Some harder highfrequencywords are also correct (chocolate, scones). Two errorswith longer words (adventerous, returend). Text does notcontain the difficult words required for category R5.«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OR===


Prompt 8:Exemplar 1:Caring for planet EarthThe ErfehTranscript/possible interpretation:The Earth is a fragile planet thats why we need to take care of it unfortunately there are people who make the [pollution] worse butthere is people who make it better and they do stuff like recyclingplastic using it for things around the house such as bin liners homemade [kites] and [.....] broken window then bad things like burning itand letting it fly away and then there’s the Government doing [.....] isgoing goodEO0801ELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R3Structure and language R1–R6 R3Organisation R1–R7 R2VocabularyRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO0801RANGE CATEGORYR1–R6R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R3Punctuation R1–R7 R1SpellingR1–R6R2Ideas are related to the topic, with some simple elaboration(e.g., ways of using recycled plastic around the house).Introduces but does not develop the idea of ‘government’.Simple but effective introduction. Body has some supportingexamples. Uses simple present tense throughout, with someaction verbs (taek ker [take care], Brning [burning]) andappropriate linking words (thats wy [that’s why], an fornehle[unfortunately]). The tone is mostly appropriate, with minorlapses (e.g., use of the informal expression do saFF [do stuff]).Some attempt to group ideas (e.g., good things/bad things). Texthas some coherence.A small number of precise words are used (Reyslekling[recycling], Ben lienrs [bin liners], flie awaey [fly away]), alongwith everyday words. Uses an adjective (frahiel [fragile]) to adddetail.Low R3. Correct sentences in the first part of the writing showsome variety. Sentences begin to run on towards the end of thetext; other sentences contain errors such as subject–verbagreement (ther is pepel [there is people]).Punctuation is not used. Apparent full stops are actually dots forthe letter ‘i’ on the line below.A small number of high-frequency words are spelt correctly (the,is, but, then, and, like). Other words are attempted usingphoneme–grapheme relationships (erfeh, reyslekling, pepel).Some words have all the correct letters, but in the wrong order(hosue, taek).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OS===


Prompt 3:Exemplar 1:GirlThe girlE00301ELEMENTRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E00301RANGE CATEGORYIdeas R1–R6 R1 One brief idea can be discerned (the girl is happy/angry).Structure and language R1–R6 R1Organisation R1–R7 R1 Very short text.Vocabulary R1–R6 R1Sentence structure R1–R6 R1Structural and language features for purpose are absent orundeveloped, due to the short length of the text. On balance,category R1.A small range of words from personal vocabulary (the, girl, is,because, sun, happy).Text consists of one short sentence. It is not possible to judgethe correctness of this sentence as the meaning is difficult toaccess.Punctuation R1–R7 R1 No punctuation. Random capital letters.Spelling R1–R6 R2Correctly spells a few words from personal vocabulary (the, girl,is, sun). Uses knowledge of phoneme–grapheme relationships toattempt other words (bekas).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OT===


Prompt 10:Exemplar 2:A frog life cycleThink aboutELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R3Structure and language R1–R6 R3Organisation R1–R7 R5Vocabulary R1–R6 R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R3Punctuation R1–R7 R3Spelling R1–R6 R4RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E01002RANGE CATEGORYIdeas are simple and show some basic elaboration (e.g., verylong and stickey).Level of formality is mostly appropriate (uses informalexpression so like). Includes appropriate structural features:generalised introduction about frogs (Well a frog lives nearwater ... from rock to rock), followed by a description of the lifecycle. The concluding sentence brings the writing to asatisfactory close (and the cycle happens again). Languagefeatures are appropriate: present tense, use of linking words toshow sequence (when, then, after a while).Like ideas are grouped into basic paragraphs: where frogs live,what they eat, how they move, their life cycle.A small number of precise, subject-specific words: hatches,swamp, lake, tounges.Most sentences (simple, compound and complex) are correct.Sentences begin to show variety and some have extension, usingmostly simple conjunctions (and, but).Some correct use of sentence punctuation. Experiments withapostrophes (fly’s, tounge’s). Correct use of a comma in acompound sentence.Correct spelling includes swamp and hatches. Errors show overgeneralisation(stickey) and common misspelling (there for‘their’). Attempts difficult word (tounge). Other errors includetadpol, in stead , be come, olso, fly’s.01002«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OU===


Prompt 1:Exemplar 3:Dogs at the beachWhen IELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R4Structure and language R1–R6 R4Organisation R1–R7 R6Vocabulary R1–R6 R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R4Punctuation R1–R7 R4Spelling R1–R6 R4RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E00103RANGE CATEGORYText has several elaborated ideas. Personal reflection aboutfeelings and about dogs with no owners shows some complexity.Text achieves purpose through use of sensory language andcontrol of structure.Paragraphs are controlled and add to the development of thetext.High R3. Uses a range of everyday words and phrases, withsome precise words to add detail (running free, saltyness, rawfish, seagulls fighting). Some simple onomatopoeia (crashing,splashing).Sentences are correct. There is an attempt to create an effect,using repeated sentence beginnings.On balance, category R4. Sentence punctuation is minimal butthere is controlled use of other punctuation (brackets, a commato indicate phrasing ‘free, away from their owners’, new line fordirect speech, contraction).A wide range of high-frequency words is spelt correctly. Textcontains only one attempt at a difficult word (saltyness).E00103«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=OV===


Prompt 13:Exemplar 1:The referee is always rightYea I’m agreeEO1301ELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R3Structure and languageRUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS EO1301RANGE CATEGORYR1–R6R2Organisation R1–R7 R3Vocabulary R1–R6 R3Sentence structure R1–R6 R1Punctuation R1–R7 R2Spelling R1–R6 R4Although there is some generalisation to the wider world (areferee has most important things to do...), the text consists ofbrief points written in list form. The main idea is related to thetopic and has some elaboration.Some points of explanation provided in support of opinion. Usespresent tense and tone is mostly appropriate (rational/logical),with a minor slip in formality at the beginning (yea, I’m agree).Text is very short but has coherence. Ideas are logically grouped(i.e., important attibutes of a referee).Uses a small number of precise, descriptive words, includingadjectives (important, alert, prosive [positive]), among mostlyeveryday words.With the possible exception of a short initial sentence, the textconsists of one run-on sentence with errors (subject–verbagreement, missing or incorrect words, noun–pronounagreement).Possibly one full stop after ‘agree’ and another at end of text(writing makes it hard to distinguish). No other sentencepunctuation. Other punctuation includes correct use ofcontraction, comma and colon. Text is a mixture of upper andlower case letters. On balance, category R2 (text has features ofcategory 1 and category R3).Low R4. Spells a range of high-frequency words correctly (e.g.,person, works, right, things, important). One difficult word speltcorrectly (alert), and one error in a difficult word (prosive[positive]).«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=PM===


Prompt 16:Exemplar 3:A community facilityYouth gymTranscript:I think that Whangarei needs a gym made just for youth. It should belocated somewhere central e.g. Bank Street. It is needed becausepeople under the age of 16 are not allowed to go and work out at theWhangarei Gym. The council should pay for this and all the proceedsfrom the memberships at the gym should go towards helping thecouncil fund other projects. The benefits of this is that the council willhave more money (eventually), there will be less teens hangingaround and possibly vandalising property and it gives our youth achance to stay fit and healthy.The council will be able to gain a lot of money through this gymbecause by the time all of the equipment is payed off then all themoney that they earn goes straight to them to put towards otherprojects that may need help funding, such as more motor-ways tohelp trafic flow faster after work hours. In this way I think it will bemuch better for the council to take money from the gym rather thantax payers.There will be a lot less teenaged people just hanging around town orin the streets. Instead of just hanging around or vandalising propertythey could be at the gym. Which, I think will benefit a lot of people,not only the peoples property. It also gives teens somewhere to go tostay fit, build muscle or just something to do with friends. Instead ofhaving fat lazy youth hanging around they could go to the gym to loseweight.In conclusion I think that building a new gym specificly for youths is agreat idea, not does it benefit them but it also benefits a wide rangeof people within the community and can help the council to fund newstuff. And who doesn’t like that.EO1603«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=PN===


Prompt 16:Exemplar 3:A community facilityYouth gymELEMENTIdeas R1–R6 R6Structure and language R1–R6 R5Organisation R1–R7 R6Vocabulary R1–R6 R5Sentence structure R1–R6 R5Punctuation R1–R7 R6Spelling R1–R6 R5RUBRIC RUBRICCOMMENTS COMMENTS E01603RANGE CATEGORYThe main idea is focused and elaborated. Complex issues areraised (vandalism, community values).Opening paragraph introduces the topic and the mainsupporting points. These are developed through the text,and summarised in the conclusion. Elements of persuasionare used to meet the overall purpose of explanation. Thetone is mostly reasoned (use of the smiley face symbol at theend of the text is inappropriate).Paragraphs support the development of the text. Eachparagraph introduces one of the main supporting ideas(making money for the community, fewer teens on thestreet, health benefits) and develops it with supportingdetail. Linking words clarify the relationship between ideasand between paragraphs (e.g., In conclusion).Uses a variety of precise, academic words (located, proceeds,benefits, specificly). Use of everyday words causes somejarring (fat lazy youth).Sentences show variety and most are controlled, with use ofsome sophisticated structures (e.g., not only ... but also).Some use of sentences for effect (e.g., And who doesn’t likethat). Minor error in subject–verb agreement (benefits/is)and tense (all they money that they earn goes).Sentence punctuation is mostly correct in a longer text.Errors include an incomplete sentence (Which I think ...) anda comma used to join two sentences (great idea, not only).Other correct punctuation includes parentheses, commas forlists and phrases, a contraction (doesn’t) and capital lettersfor proper nouns.Spells high-frequency words correctly. Correct difficult wordsinclude eventually, equipment, vandalising, muscle. Incorrectwords are payed, trafic, specificly.«=jáåáëíêó=çÑ=bÇìÅ~íáçå=OMNOm~ÖÉ=PO===

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