June 11-24 . 2011 qnotes


June 11-24 . 2011 qnotes

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insideNot for ReproductionJune 11-24, 2011Vol 26 No 0312Photo Credit: Pam Spaulding/PamsHouseBlend.comnews & features10 News Notes: Regional Briefs12 Three arrested at state legislature13 Close-door GOP talks broadcast14 Giving bolstered by corporate bucksopinions & views4 Editor’s Note4 Pride: Democratic Party leaders5 Pride: President Obama24 General Gayetya&e/life&style18 Out in the Stars19 Tell Trinity20 Raleigh LGBT Center grows20 Pride 2011:Events across the Carolinas23 Drag Rag25 On Being a Gay Parent26 Out in Print27 Q events calendarconnectgoqnotes.comtwitter.com/qnotescarolinasfacebook.com/qnotescarolinasSign up for our weekly emailnewsletter at goqnotes.com.contributors this issueMatt Comer, Kevin Grooms/Miss Della, CharleneLichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson,Terri Schlichenmeyer, David Stout, Trinity,Brett Webb-Mitchellfront pageGraphic Design by Matt Comer & Lainey MillenPride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc.P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222, ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361Publisher: Jim YarbroughSales: x206 adsales@goqnotes.comNat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, 212.242.6863Editor: Matt Comer, x202 editor@goqnotes.comAssoc. Ed.: David Stout, x210 editor2@goqnotes.comAssoc. Ed., A&E: Leah Cagle, x202 arts@goqnotes.comProduction: Lainey Millen, x209 production@goqnotes.comPrinted on recycled paper.Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2011 and may not be reproduced in any manner withoutwritten consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securingreprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientationof advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of namesor photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographicalerror or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorialnotations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarilyrepresent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return.Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.June 11-24 . 2011 qnotes Not for Reproduction

VIEWSeditor’s noteby matt comermatt@goqnotes.comDirect action must besmart, strategicThe arrests of three gay activists on June2 following their protest on the floor of theNorth Carolina House of Representatives hassparked varied responses and levels of supportfrom across the country and within thestate. (See story on page 12.)Obviously, GOP leadership in the NorthCarolina legislature isn’t happy. RepublicanSpeaker of the House Thom Tillis, who representsCharlotte’s northern suburb of Corneliusand other portions of Mecklenburg County,called the protest “another disruptive anddisrespectful display that will not be toleratedin this House.”Reporters with the legislative presscorps said state Sen. James Forrester (R-Gaston) was also upset. He stopped by thelegislature’s press room to complain about“homosexuals protesting my bill,” accordingto WRAL’s government reporter.What’s more telling of the sheer ineffectivenessof the June 2 outburst on the floor ofthe House is the response of politicians whohave been outspoken on their own oppositionto the anti-gay marriage amendments.Mecklenburg County Democrat TriciaCotham declined to comment directly toqnotes, but tweeted about the protest as itoccurred.“Scared the ____ out of us in the back,”Cotham wrote on the social network.Rep. Marcus Brandon (D-Guilford), thestate’s only openly gay lawmaker, also spokeout via Twitter, writing, “Attention all potentialprotesters please find a better way thanbusting thru the front door of the chamber#notcool #ncga.”Anyone with knowledge of history andunderstanding of movements for social justiceknows that non-violent resistance and directaction, including civil disobedience, havebeen key components of every successfulmovement for social change the world over.Those same people also know that suchtactics must be used intelligently and strategicallyand carry a clear message.Not for ReproductionUnfortunately, the June 2 protest on thefloor of the state House was not intelligent norwas it strategic, and it certainly didn’t have aclearly articulated message.Brandon, for example, said he wasn’t evenaware that protesters were aligned with apro-gay group.“You didn’t even know what they wereprotesting because it was so disruptive,” hetold qnotes the afternoon following the protest.“I had no clue until now what they wereprotesting because it was such a disruptionand it’s so scary; the only thing I was thinkingabout was, ‘Do I need to duck under my seator what?’”The protest was organized by the NorthCarolina chapter of GetEqual, a national directaction group that has held protests and othercivil disobediences across the country. Forthe most part, GetEqual’s actions have fit theusual mold of strategic, non-violent resistance.What happened here? Was there noplanning? No strategy session?I’m no stranger to non-violent direct actionand civil disobedience. Like others withpassionate beliefs, I, too, have “been to jailfor justice.” Each time, however, the directactions were planned weeks, if not months,in advance and had a clear goal and objectivein mind. Additionally, the direct actions inwhich I’ve chosen to participate have eachbeen timed and planned strategically in orderto benefit, rather than hinder, those particulargoals and objectives. What goal did thesethree gay rights protesters seek to accomplish?Do they realize that they might have justsealed their own demise?GetEqual’s actions in Raleigh have stirredthe hornet’s nest. They have taken what wasprimarily a carefully orchestrated, behind-thesceneseffort to secure votes on our side ofthe issue and turned it into a public conversationpitting all “the homosexuals” againstan even angrier right. Those Democrats andmoderate Republicans who might have beenled to switch their votes will now surely sufferunder the weight of a legislative leadershiphell-bent on seeing this amendment throughto the end, if only to prove a point about disruptingtheir legislative proceedings.No LGBT community leader in this stateor in this nation is seriously opposed todirect action or civil disobedience. The largemajority of those involved in this particularsocial justice movement are well aware ofthe successful employment of these tactics inother historic movements for change. Smartleaders know, however, when direct actionand civil disobedience can harm a cause.The June 2 outburst on the floor of the NorthCarolina House of Representatives is a perfectexample of a direct action gone terribly, terriblywrong and all LGBT North Carolinianswill pay for it. : :Leaders speak out on LGBT PrideDNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the North Carolina Democratic Party recognize LGBT PRIDE MonthDNC Chair Debbie Wasserman SchultzDNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultzreleased the following statement recognizingLGBT Pride Month:“This June, I join together with LGBTAmericans across this country in recognizingPRIDE Month. That means celebratingthe enormous strides that LGBT Americanshave taken toward equality, but it also meansrededicating ourselves to guaranteeing thatall Americans — no matter their sexual orientation— are looked upon as fully equal in theeyes of the law.“Thanks to the hard work of PresidentObama and LGBT activists across the country,we are now closer than ever to that goal. Theoutdated and discriminatory policy knownas ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ has been repealed.The President has directed the Department ofJustice to stop defending DOMA in court anddeclared it unconstitutional. The hate crimesprevention law has been expanded and we nowhave our nation’s first comprehensive HIV/AIDSstrategy. The President continues to work todispel the myth that bullying, particularly ofLGBT students, is a harmless part of growing upand works each day to better the lives of LGBTAmericans in every facet of American life. Onthe international stage, President Obama hasshown global leadership in condemning anti-LGBT violence at the United Nations and tookthe opportunity at the National Prayer Breakfastto speak out against the ‘odious’ anti-gay legislationpending in Uganda.“Forty-two years ago this month, LGBTAmericans’ struggled for equal rights enteredinto the American consciousness whenindividuals at the Stonewall Inn decided to takea stand. In the four decades since, Americansacross this country have kept up the fight forequality. This PRIDE Month, we recommit to thisstruggle for equality as we strive to finally makeinjustice and inequality things of the past.”PRIDENorth Carolina Democratic PartyNorth Carolina Democratic Party ChairDavid Parker released this statement forLGBT Pride Month:“We have seen progress in our lifetime.“When we have been honest and compassionate,we have participated in the difficultwork of that progress. It is only when wehave been afraid, when we have stood asideor turned away that we have found ourselveson the wrong side of the great battles for humanrights in America.“Total equality is the ultimate goal.Through many thousand acts of personal andcollective courage in the struggle for LGBTrights, be it a single teenager coming out tohis family or a City Council passing a nondiscriminationhiring clause, we move evercloser to that goal.“The Democratic Party acts upon thebelief that history moves toward inclusion andunderstanding. While politics is an exercise inpatience and persuasion, we will do everythingin our power to rememberthat equality isn’t an abstractconcept; it is a daily battle fordignity and access. When that dailybattle is your life, patience with theprocess is not always easy.“But while progress may be slow, itisn’t silent. That LGBT Pride Month is beingcelebrated so widely is an indication that fearis subsiding across the community. The NorthCarolina Democratic Party joins PresidentObama and Democrats across America incelebrating unity, equality, and the lives ofgay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender peopleeverywhere.“The contributions of LGBT citizens tothis state are unquestionable. Likewise, noone should have any doubts about the NorthCarolina Democratic Party’s unwavering supportfor equality.” : :SUBSCRIBE!These rates only cover a portion of our true cost,however, our goal is to serve our communityMailed 1st class from Charlotte, NC, in sealed envelope.Subscription Rates: ☐ 1 yr - 26 issues = $48 ☐ 1/2 yr - 13 issues = $34Mail to: P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222______________________________________________________name: ______________________________________________________address: ______________________________________________________city: ______________________________________________________state: zip:credit ______________________________________________________card – check one: ☐ mastercard ☐ visa ☐ discover ☐ american expresscard ______________________________________________________#:exp. date:signature: qnotes June 11-24 . 2011Not for Reproduction

The president speaks…Presidential Proclamation — Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride MonthMay 31, 2011BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATESOF AMERICAA PROCLAMATIONThe story of America’s Lesbian, Gay,Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) communityis the story of our fathers and sons, ourmothers and daughters, and our friends andneighbors who continue the task of making ourcountry a more perfect Union. It is a story aboutthe struggle to realize the great Americanpromise that all people can live with dignityand fairness under the law. Each June, wecommemorate the courageous individuals whohave fought to achieve this promise for LGBTAmericans, and we rededicate ourselves tothe pursuit of equal rights for all, regardless ofsexual orientation or gender identity.Since taking office, my Administration hasmade significant progress towards achievingequality for LGBT Americans. Last December,I was proud to sign the repeal of the discriminatory“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Withthis repeal, gay and lesbian Americans willbe able to serve openly in our Armed Forcesfor the first time in our Nation’s history. Ournational security will be strengthened and theheroic contributions these Americans maketo our military, and have made throughout ourhistory, will be fully recognized.My Administration has also taken stepsto eliminate discrimination against LGBTAmericans in Federal housing programs andto give LGBT Americans the right to visit theirloved ones in the hospital. We have madeclear through executive branch nondiscriminationpolicies that discrimination on the basisof gender identity in the Federal workplacewill not be tolerated. I have continued to nominateand appoint highly qualified, openly LGBTindividuals to executive branch and judicialpositions. Because we recognize that LGBTrights are human rights, my Administrationstands with advocates of equality around theworld in leading the fight against perniciouslaws targeting LGBT persons and maliciousattempts to exclude LGBT organizations fromfull participation in the international system.We led a global campaign to ensure “sexualorientation” was included in the UnitedNations resolution on extrajudicial execution— the only United Nations resolution thatspecifically mentions LGBT people — to sendthe unequivocal message that no matterwhere it occurs, state-sanctioned killing ofgays and lesbians is indefensible. No oneshould be harmed because of who they areor who they love, and my Administration hasmobilized unprecedented public commitmentsfrom countries around the world to join in thefight against hate and homophobia.At home, we are working to address andeliminate violence against LGBT individualsthrough our enforcement and implementationof the Matthew Shepard and JamesByrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. We arealso working to reduce the threat of bullyingagainst young people, including LGBTyouth. My Administration is actively engagedwith educators and community leadersacross America to reduce violence anddiscrimination in schools. To help dispel themyth that bullying is a harmless or inevitablepart of growing up, the First Lady and Ihosted the first White House Conference onBullying Prevention in March. Many seniorAdministration officials have also joined mein reaching out to LGBT youth who have beenbullied by recording “It Gets Better” videomessages to assure them they are not alone.This month also marks the 30th anniversaryof the emergence of the HIV/AIDS epidemic,which has had a profound impact onthe LGBT community. Though we have madestrides in combating this devastating disease,more work remains to be done, and I amcommitted to expanding access to HIV/AIDSprevention and care. Last year, I announcedthe first comprehensive National HIV/AIDSStrategy for the United States. This strategyfocuses on combinations of evidence-basedapproaches to decrease new HIV infectionsin high risk communities, improve care forNot for ReproductionPRIDEpeople living with HIV/AIDS, andreduce health disparities. MyAdministration also increased domesticHIV/AIDS funding to supportthe Ryan White HIV/AIDS Programand HIV prevention, and to invest in HIV/AIDSrelatedresearch. However, government cannottake on this disease alone. This landmarkanniversary is an opportunity for the LGBTcommunity and allies to recommit to raisingawareness about HIV/AIDS and continuingthe fight against this deadly pandemic.Every generation of Americans has broughtour Nation closer to fulfilling its promise ofequality. While progress has taken time, ourachievements in advancing the rights of LGBTAmericans remind us that history is on our side,and that the American people will never stopstriving toward liberty and justice for all.NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA,President of the United States of America,by virtue of the authority vested in me by theConstitution and the laws of the United States,do hereby proclaim June 2011 as Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month.I call upon the people of the United Statesto eliminate prejudice everywhere it exists,and to celebrate the great diversity of theAmerican people.IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereuntoset my hand this thirty-first day of May, in theyear of our Lord two thousand eleven, andof the Independence of the United States ofAmerica the two hundred and thirty-fifth.BARACK OBAMAJune 11-24 . 2011 qnotes Not for Reproduction

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Not for Reproduction10 qnotes June 11-24 . 2011BRIEFSCharlotteFundraising for equalityCHARLOTTE — Join Scott Bishop, JohnCovington, Josephine Hicks, Rick McDermott,Randy Stephens and Ken Wittenauer at afundraiser for Equality NC on June 16, 6:30-8:30p.m., at The Vue, 404 W. 5th St.This year is an especially challenging onefor LGBT community members as it fightsback against the right’s push to have an anti-LGBT constitutional amendment thwarted inthe North Carolina General AssemblyExecutive Director Ian Palmquist will beon hand to talk about the anti-LGBT amendmentand answer questions about this andother vital issues affecting LGBT citizens inthe Queen City.Drinks and hors d’oeuvres are courtesy ofsponsors Alston & Bird and Armin’s Catering.To register, visit equalitync.org.For more information, email Kay Flaminioat kay@equalitync.org.— L.M.One Voice raising money and moreCHARLOTTE — One Voice Chorus is hostinga fundraiser, “Broadway, Trivia & Prizes(oh my!),” on June 30 and July 1 at 7:30 p.m. atDuke Energy Theatre, 345 N. College St.“Hollywood Squares” meets Broadwayin this audience-interactive, cabaret-styleevent that honors a game show and music ofBroadway. Tickets are $20.For tickets or more information, emailChad Mackie at chad_nc_99@yahoo.com orvisit onevoicechorus.com.— L.M.Trianglenews notes:from the carolinas, nation and worldcompiled by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com | David Stout :: david@goqnotes.com | Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.comCenter to create libraryRALEIGH — The LGBT Center of Raleigh’slibrary will be opening in mid-August. Itsmission is to provide access to resources forLGBT study and entertainment and to encourageexploration of the LGBT experience in asafe and welcoming environment.They are now accepting donations ofbooks, magazines, DVDs and CDs to add tothe growing collection.Bring items to the center during regularbusiness hours. The center is a 501(c)(3)non-profit corporation and all donations aretax deductible. VHS videos, cassette tapes orrecords are not being accepted.They are also on the lookout for a flip videocamera, water cooler, gift cards for landscapematerials and a landscaper and able-bodiedindividuals who can help with renovations.For more information, email erin@lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.— L.M.Camp time for kidsRALEIGH — The 2nd Annual ASPYRE (ASafer Place for Youth to Reach for Excellence)Youth Leadership Camp will be held June 24-26on the North Carolina State University campus.It focuses on helping LGBTQQ and alliedyouth to learn valuable leadership principlesin a safe and positive environment.Registration is $50 and includes food,Not for Reproductionovernight room and activities.For a complete itinerary and registration,visit lgbtcenterofraleigh.com/site/programs/youthnfamily/aspyre.— L.M.Safe sex hard for transRALEIGH — North Carolina StateUniversity released findings early this monthsaying that for those in the transgender community,talking about safe sex is more complicated.This study hopes to advance methodsfor both the LGBT and straight population.Dr. Kami Kosenko, an assistant professorof communication at NC State and leadauthor of the study told Science Daily, “Themain reason for this study is the fact thatwe’re seeing evidence of devastatingly highHIV prevalence rates in the transgendercommunity.” He added, “The HIV prevalencerate is less than 1 percent for the general U.S.population. But for the transgender population,the HIV prevalence rate is estimated tobe as high as 60 percent in major metropolitanareas. Although these are only estimates, theyare troubling.”How transgender individuals speak aboutsafe sex is one of the key factors researcherssay. Talking about safe sex is compoundedwhen also dealing with sharing one’s genderidentity. Honesty about one’s past in alsobrought into question, both in the transgendercommunity and beyond.The paper was published in the Journalof Communication. Funding for the researchwas provided by the National Institute ofMental Health.— L.M.WesternFriends to host dinnersHICKORY — Dining for Friends will holdtheir finale on Sept. 17, 8 p.m.-12 a.m. atMarket on Main.They are looking for supporters to hostfundraising dinners at their home to help feedthe coffers of ALFA so that they can continueto provide support and resources for thosewho are affected and infected with HIV/AIDS.Organizational meetings began on May 19and continue monthly.Contributors, volunteers and sponsors areurged to call 828-322-1447, ext. 224, or emailExecutive Director Rodney Tucker at alfadirect@alfainfo.orgto get more information.— L.M.South CarolinaPride event approachesCOLUMBIA — Promoters for the 6thAnnual South Carolina Black Pride, “Mind,Body, & Soul,” have announced that they stillhave space in their event guide for advertisers.Deadline is June 17.They will be distributed to sponsors,participants and guests.The Expo will be held on June 25, 2-8 p.m.,at Columbia Metropolitan Convention Center,1101 Lincoln St. Enjoy live entertainment andworkshops. Host hotel is Courtyard by MariottColumbia Downtown at 630 Assembly St.For more information, email info@southcarolinablackpride.com.A complete list of events is availableonline at southcarolinablackpride.com.— L.M.Campus SceneCamp just around cornerNASHVILLE — The Fifth Annual SummerLeadership Camp, aka “Camp Pride,” will beheld from July 19-24 on Vanderbilt University’scampus.Keynote speakers include gay collegestudent Daniel Hernandez, Jr., who wascredited for saving Rep. Gabriel Giffordslife in the Arizona shooting; Dr. Sue Rankin,noted LGBT campus climate researcher; BlueCopas, an Army Arabic translator dischargedin 2006 under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell;” T.J.Jourian, from Logo’s “TransGeneration;” MaraKiessling, president of the National Centerfor Transgender Equality; Shane Windmeyer,author and director of Campus Pride; andRobyn Ochs, a bi-activist, trans advocate andnational public speaker.But, that’s not all. Bebe Zahara Benet from“RuPaul’s Drag Race” will entertain, alongwith singer/songwriter Randi Driscoll; transspoken word performer Kit Yan; actress andcomedian Gina Rodger; and drag diva BuffFaye and more. Benet joins the camp as oneof the Divas of Diversity from Hope’s Voice.Hernandez will be awarded honorary theVoice & Action Award on July 23 during thefive-day event.This year an Advisor Bootcamp professionaltrack for LGBT and ally studentorganization advisors, graduate students,faculty and staff has been added to the campexperience.The camp is open to college students 18years and older. Tuition is $895.For more information or to register, visitcampuspride.org.— L.M.National/GlobalPoll: Majority for marriageWASHINGTON, D.C. — A new Gallup Pollshows a majority of the American people (53percent) support marriage rights for committedgay and lesbian couples. This is one ofseveral major polls to confirm the sea changein public opinion on the issue of marriageequality. The poll found Democratic andIndependent support for marriage equalityincreased by more than 10 points over thepast year. Sixty-nine percent of Democrats,59 percent of Independents, and 28 percentof Republicans support marriage equality.Previous polls by CNN, Associated Press,and Washington Post similarly registeredmajority support of marriage equality. “At themoment,” writes Gallup, “those advocatingchanges in constitutions and laws to allowsame-sex marriage in additional states cantake heart in the apparent shift in nationalsentiment in their direction.”— D.S.HRC endorses Obama reelectionWASHINGTON, D.C. — The Human RightsCampaign, the nation’s largest LGBT civil

President Barack Obama signs “Don’t Ask, Don’tTell” repeal measure.rights organization, has endorsed PresidentBarack Obama for reelection. According to astatement, the decision was made based onthe president’s demonstrated commitment toLGBT equality and his record of accomplishment,from major legislative victories to criticaladministrative reforms. “President Obamahas improved the lives of LGBT Americansmore than any president in history,” said HRCPresident Joe Solmonese. “In 2008 we werepromised change and profound change iswhat we got. More remains to be done andensuring that President Obama is able to continuethe forward momentum toward equalityfor another term is an absolute priority of theHuman Rights Campaign.”— D.S.LGBT smokers urged to quitWASHINGTON, D.C. — Throughout June,the American Lung Association is encouragingmembers of the LGBT community to honorPride Month by focusing on their health,particularly by quitting smoking or encouragingtheir friends to quit. According to SmokingOut a Deadly Threat: Tobacco Use in the LGBTCommunity, a health disparity report releasedby the American Lung Association last year,LGBT Americans smoke at a much higher ratethan the general public. Key facts highlightedin the report include the following: Gay, bisexualand transgender men are 2 to 2.5 timesmore likely to smoke than heterosexual men;Lesbian, bisexual and transgender womenare 1.5 to 2 times more likely to smoke thanheterosexual women; and, Bisexual boys andgirls have some of the highest smoking rateswhen compared with both their heterosexualand homosexual peers.— D.S.Nevada expands protectionsCARSON CITY, Nev. — Gov. BrianSandoval has signed into law SB331 andSB368, barring discrimination in public accommodationsand housing respectively.SB331 protects against discrimination inpublic accommodations on the basis ofgender identity or expression, while SB368adds sexual orientation and gender identity orexpression to Nevada’s housing anti-discriminationlaw. Additionally, in May the Nevadalegislature passed and Gov. Sandoval signedAB211, legislation that expanded the state’santi-discrimination laws in employment tocover gender identity or expression.— D.S.Study examines drug useLOS ANGELES, Calif. — New findingsfrom the U.S. National Longitudinal LesbianFamily Study, the longest-running study everconducted on American lesbian families(now in its 25th year), reveal that 17-year-olddaughters and sons of lesbian mothers in thestudy who reported experiences of homophobicstigmatization did not report higher levelsof substance use. The results were comparedto a demographically matched group ofadolescents from the national Monitoring theFuture Survey conducted by the Universityof Michigan with funding from the NationalInstitute on Drug Abuse. The LongitudinalLesbian Family Study is the first to explore theassociation between homophobia and substanceuse in adolescents raised by lesbians.— D.S.Fed guidance for trans workersWASHINGTON, D.C. — LGBT leaders andadvocates praised the Office of PersonnelManagement (OPM) for publishing guidanceregarding the rights of transgender federalemployees. Pursuant to a June 2009 presidentialmemorandum, OPM added gender identityto the categories protected under the equalemployment opportunity policy for ExecutiveBranch positions. The guidance publishedMay 27 provides further information to federalmanagers and human resources officials toensure that transgender employees are treatedfairly and equally in their public service toNot for ReproductionNot for Reproductionour nation. The document can be viewed atopm.gov/diversity/Transgender/Guidance.asp.— D.S.Giants make it ‘Better’SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — The SanFrancisco Giants are the first team inprofessional sports to produce an “It GetsBetter” video taking a stand against anti-gaybullying and homophobia. Lifelong Giants fanSean Chapin encouraged the World Serieschampions to make the video by starting anonline petition on Change.org. More than6,000 Giants fans signed the petition. Over10,000 “It Gets Better” videos have beenproduced since syndicated columnist DanSavage and his partner Terry Miller launchedthe project in September 2010, in responseto an epidemic of teen suicides by gay kidsand kids perceived to be gay. The Giantsvideo can be viewed at youtube.com/watch?v=A1TcD95kmGQ— D.S.Gay acceptance up worldwideCHICAGO, IL — A report by the NationalOpinion Research Center at the Universityof Chicago presents new findings on thecross-national differences in attitudes towardhomosexuality. Based on five rounds ofsurveys administered in different countriesbetween 1988 and 2008, the report examinedgeneral trends and ranked countries regardingtheir attitudes towards homosexuality.The study concludes that “overwhelmingly,societies have become more accepting ofhomosexual behavior.” Thirty-one countrieswere identified with data that showed trendsin public opinion about homosexual behavior.Of those, approval of homosexuality increasedin 27 countries and in only 4 countries did itdecrease: Russia, the Czech Republic, Cyprusand Latvia. Moreover, the growth in approvalwas stronger than the decline. The top fivecountries with the highest acceptance ofhomosexuality ratings are the Netherlands,Denmark, Norway, Switzerland and Belgium-Flanders. The bottom half of the list consistedof seven ex-Socialist states, four East Asiannations, three Latin American countries andCyprus, South Africa and Turkey.— D.S.info: Have news or other information? Sendyour press releases and updates for inclusionin our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.June 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 11

NEWSThree arrested in gay protest at legislatureFormer Democratic Senate candidate, two activists burst onto N.C. House floor following pro-gay rally on Halifax Mallby Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.comRALEIGH — Three gay rightsactivists, including a formerDemocratic Senate candidate,were arrested June 2 for their protest onthe floor of the North Carolina House ofRepresentatives. The arrests followed apro-LGBT rally opposing a state constitutionalamendment that couldban marriage and otherrelationship recognitionfor same-sex couples.The rally was heldon Halifax Mall outsidethe North CarolinaLegislative Buildingand attracted approximately200 people. Itwas sponsored by theNorth Carolina chapterof GetEqual, a nationalLGBT direct actiongroup, and Sexualityand Gender Alliance,an Appalachian StateUniversity studentgroup.Two versions of aproposed constitutionalamendment are underconsideration in theGeneral Assembly. Themore stringent Senateversion, sponsored byGaston County Republican James Forrester,would ban both public and private relationshiprecognition including marriage and domesticpartner benefits offered by municipal governmentsand private companies. The less harshHouse version targets only marriage.After the rally, openly gay Chapel Hill businessmanJim Neal, who lost to current U.S.Sen. Kay Hagan in a 2008 Democratic primary,led other activists into the Legislative Buildingand onto the House floor. The group chanted“Liberty and Justice for All in North Carolina”as they entered the chamber’s doors. Videoposted online by PamsHouseBlend.com showsNeal being apprehended by General Assemblypolice almost immediately. Other activistscontinued to advance into the chamber. Rallyorganizer and GetEqual North Carolina chapterfounder Angel Chandler, 38, of Black Mountainand Mary Beth Counce, 53, of Asheville werelater arrested.LGBT community leaders’ responses tothe House floor protest were varied.Robin McGehee, GetEqual’s executive director,said the protest served as a call to bothPresident Barack Obama and state lawmakersto stand up for full LGBT equality.“[W]e’re proud to support LGBT NorthCarolinians in issuing the same call to theirNot for ReproductionApproximately 200 people attended the June 2 “Rally in Raleigh” preceding the arrest of threegay activists in the North Carolina House of Representatives.Photo Credit: Pam Spaulding/PamsHouseBlend.comstate elected officials,” she said in a statement.“As North Carolina gears up to host theDemocratic National Convention next year,we hope that the state will be moving towardfully recognizing the dignity and equality ofLGBT North Carolinians, rather than trying tofurther enshrine discrimination in the stateconstitution. North Carolina residents deservebetter than the legalized discrimination thatthis bill promises.”Other LGBT leaders urged caution. IanPalmquist, executive director of the statewideEquality North Carolina, offered a brief statementvia Twitter following the arrests. “Whilewe share the protesters’ passion for equalrights, we cannot condone today’s disruptionof the House session,” Palmquist wrote on thesocial network.Palmquist told qnotes that the House floorprotest could adversely affect his group’s effortsto stave off the amendment’s passage.“Different tactics are appropriate at differenttimes and the action we saw yesterdayinvading the House chamber, I think, had anegative impact on our ability to stop a constitutionalamendment on marriage this year,”he said in an interview a day after the arrests.“Direct action is a really important strategyand tactic but it needs to be used in smart andstrategic ways and unfortunatelythat’s not whatwe saw yesterday.”Rep. Marcus Brandon(D-Guilford), the state’sonly openly gay lawmaker,told qnotes he wasn’taware at the time that theprotesters were from apro-LGBT group.“You didn’t even knowwhat they were protestingbecause it was so disruptive,”he said. “I had noclue until now what theywere protesting becauseit was such a disruptionand it’s so scary; the onlything I was thinking aboutwas, ‘Do I need to duckunder my seat or what?’”Brandon said therewere more appropriatemeans for protesters tosend a message.“The rally is a greatvenue to do it,” he said. “We had a pressconference here [during the May 17 anti-gayrally] and it was a much better way to talkabout it, it was a much more powerful way todeal with it. Now that I know that was a gaygroup, I’m more disappointed.”Following his arrest, Neal released a lettersaying current attempts by lawmakers towrite discrimination into the constitution area threat and intimidation toward LGBT NorthCarolinians.LEGISLATIVE WATCH“I am no longer willing to passively bearwitness to the ghettoization of LGBT people,the poor, the middle class and the weak,” hewrote. “No body and no individual has therightful dominion to diminish the unalienablerights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happinessin our United States of America.”The three pro-gay arrests came a weekafter state NAACP president Rev. WilliamBarber and six other demonstrators werearrested in the House for protesting theproposed state budget. The June 2 incidentwas the third protest at the General Assemblythis year, though it was the first on the Housefloor itself.House Speaker Thom Tillis (R-Mecklenburg) later described the protest as“another disruptive and disrespectful displaythat will not be tolerated in this House.”The June 2 rally was prompted by anearlier, May 17 rally staged by anti-gayreligious leaders from across the state. Thatevent was attended by some 3,500 people andincluded speakers from a variety of religiousgroups including Tony Perkins, president ofthe Washington, D.C.-based Family ResearchCouncil. Last year, Perkins’ organization wasnamed a hate group by the Southern PovertyLaw Center.Proponents of the amendments say theyare needed to prevent the extension of marriageto same-sex couples, but opponentscharge that the language used to constructthem is vague and could lead to discriminationand legal uncertainly for both LGBT andheterosexual North Carolinians.As of press time, neither the House nor theSenate had taken up the bills and legislativeleaders had indicated they could adjourn asearly as June 17. Other lawmakers have saidthat legislative leadership could bring thelegislation up for debate during a Septemberspecial session on several proposed constitutionalamendments. (See story on page 13.) : :Keep up with the final days of the 2011 legislativesession, including news and developmentson the state budget, the anti-gay constitutionalamendment and other issues at our LegislativeWatch at goqnotes.com/in/ncga/.Meeting Date: Tuesday, June 21, 2011Program: United States Attorney Anne TompkinsThe Lesbian & Gay Community Center820 Hamilton St.Time: Cash Bar Social/Heavy Hor d’oeuvres @ 5:30 pmProgram starts @ 6:45 pmCost: $20To Reserve: Call 704.565.5075or email businessguild@yahoo.comfor more informationor pay online via PayPal atwww.charlottebusinessguild.orgwww.charlottebusinessguild.org12 qnotes June 11-24 . 2011Not for Reproduction

Open mic broadcastsGOP closed-doortalks on anti-gayamendmentCatawba County Republican says House leadershipsupports amendment passage this yearby Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.comRALEIGH — A day after pro-gay protesterswere arrested on the floor of the NorthCarolina House of Representatives, lawmakersat a closed-door, House Republican caucusmeeting spoke about the proposed constitutionalamendments on marriage, unawarethat their comments were being streamed intothe legislature’s press room.Rep. Mark Hilton (R-Catawba) said hehad met with the “conservative, pro-familycaucus” and several anti-gay groups. He saidthe constitutional amendment was one of theissues outside groups were pushing.“It’s important to the conservative groupsthat we get this passed this year becausethey need that to be able to get their groundgame working to get the maximum effect toget out the vote,” he said.Hilton also said this year’s legislative sessionwas turning out to be “one of the mostconservative, pro-family legislative sessionsI’ve ever seen” and thanked Speaker ThomTillis (R-Mecklenburg) for his support of theamendment.“Speaker Tillis has assured us it will happenthis year,” he said. “It may be in a specialsession for constitutional amendments but itwill happen this year.”Ian Palmquist, executive director of thestatewide Equality North Carolina, said hisgroup had been aware of the possibility ofthe amendment’s passage this year, but thatrecent developments seemed to be sealingthe deal.“It is our understanding that in the last24 hours both Speaker Tillis and [SenatePresident Pro Tempore Phil] Berger havenow committed to moving the legislation thisyear,” he said. “We’ve been working veryhard over the last six months to do everythingwe can to avoid this. This is the first timewe’ve seen such a clear commitment [fromRepublican leadership].”Equality North Carolina has been workingto secure the necessary votes to stopthe amendment on both the House andSenate floors.“The includes mobilizing constituencies inkey legislative districts to get them to contacttheir legislators and mobilizing leaders in theNEWSfaith and business communities and politicalleaders to speak out against the amendment,”he said.Palmquist said his group has receivedsupport from most of the Democratic caucus,which holds a minority in both chambersof the legislature for the first time in over acentury.“Most of the Democratic caucuscontinues to support our position but thereare a number of Democrats and moderateRepublicans who we believe are persuadablebut are not 100 percent on our side atthis point.”The gay rights leader, who has announcedhe will be stepping down from hisrole in July, also said June 2 pro-gay protestson the House floor could adversely affect hisgroup’s efforts. (See story on page 12.)“Different tactics are appropriate at differenttimes and the action we say yesterdayinvading the House chamber, I think, had anegative impact on our ability to stop a constitutionalamendment on marriage this year,”he said in an interview a day after the arrests.“Direct action is a really important strategyand tactic but it needs to be used in smart andstrategic ways and unfortunately that’s notwhat we saw yesterday.” : :Not for ReproductionJune 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 13Not for Reproduction

NEWSFund’s record giving bolsteredby corporate bucksKeynoter Mitchell Gold delivers strong message to Charlotte and Tar Heel LGBTsMatt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.comNot for ReproductionCHARLOTTE — At their annual fundraisingluncheon at Uptown’s Omni Hotel on May 25,the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund announcedrecipients for 2011 grants totaling a record$85,000. Another $25,000 inadditional monies from WellsFargo were contributed toeight organizations’ operatinggrants.The event, dubbed “TheHappening,” serves as thefund’s annual gift-givingceremony and a fundraisinglunch. In addition to theoperating funds contributed byWells Fargo, the company alsopledged a $25,000 matchingchallenge for all money raisedfor the fund.The event was emceed byMaureen O’Boyle, anchor fornews station WBTV.“While I am not technicallya part of your community, Ifeel like I’m a part of it todayand am grateful to be here,”O’Boyle said in her openingstatements. Later, thanking companies andorganizations that had sponsored the event,O’Boyle encouraged attendees to supportLGBT-friendly businesses.“I do shop at organizations that I know aresupporting the groups I cherish,” she said.North Carolina furniture manufacturerMitchell Gold, a well-known philanthropistand advocate for LGBT social, civil andMitchell Gold speaks to the nearly 400 attendees at the 2001 The Happening.reigious equality, keynoted the luncheon.In his message, Gold challenged attendeesto speak out and take stands for equality inCharlotte, in North Carolina and in the nationas whole.In 2008, Gold edited “CRISIS: 40 StoriesRevealing the Personal, Social, and ReligiousPain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay InAmerica,” a book exploring discrimination atthe hands of religion. [Ed. Note — This writercontributed a chapter to the book.]Gold, who was married to his partnerin Iowa, said he is amazed at the progressthe community has made, but said religionbasedbigotry continues to take its toll onyoung people.He cautioned, “It ain’t good enough for me.Anybody who’s really satisfied with the state ofLGBT rights and emotional wellnessin this city, in this state and in thiscountry, if you’re satisfied with it, sitback and listen no more. But, if youare not satisfied, if you in your heartssee the gay rights movement a littledifferently, as I do…then we cannotallow the face of the gay rightsmovement to be adults. It has to bethe children, the vulnerable kids.”Gold also said North Carolina’sand Charlotte’s LGBT communitymust stand up against efforts towrite discrimination into the stateconstitution. The legislature is currentlyconsidering an amendmentthat would ban recognition of bothmarriage and other types of publicand private relationships for samesexcouples.“What do you think the conversationis going to be like around a14-year-old’s table with their parents,listening to their parents say, ‘We haveto have a constitutional amendment. We can’thave gays getting married. Gays will ruin thesee Gold on 17Best of LGBT CarolinaVoteToday!goqnotes.com/qlistVoting Begins: May 1, noonVoting Ends: June 20, 11:59 p.m.14 qnotes June 11-24 . 2011Not for ReproductionHere’s your chance to have your say . . .Vote today in our third annual QList for the best of LGBTCarolina’s nightlife, dining, retail, community and more!Results will be published in our July 9 print and online editions.

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Gold delivers strong keynote messagecontinued from page 14moral fiber of society?’ and all of that kind of stuff that peoplesay when they are at a dining room table on a Sunday,” he said.“This constitutional amendment will be a ferocious battle formonths. What will that kid be thinking?”Gold noted that 31 states had attempted and failed to keepmarriage amendments out of their constitutions. He said differenttactics are needed if the LGBT community plans to win onthis issue.“We have to make sure the leadership in our state and inthis city does something,” he said. “Speaker [Thom] Tillis is inyour city. Speaker Tillis has the power to keep this amendmentfrom passing. He has the the ability to be a key part in squashingthis.”Gold encouraged attendees to reach out and educate Tillis.“We have to educate Speaker Tillis and get him to understandthat this legislation was brought about by senators andrepresentatives in the House from their religious beliefs,” Goldsaid. “There is nothing civil about it. They brought this legislationbecause of their own personal religion — outdated, ill-informedand horrifically painful to a lot of people young and old.”He added, “We have to educate Speaker Tillis and if thatmeans going to his church on Sunday and sitting in those pewsand standing up with a sign that says ‘End the Harm,’ I dareCharlotte to do that and if you do I will be there with you.” : :Gifts that make a differenceRecipients of Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund and WellsFargo Foundation philanthropy say the gifts their organizationsNot for Reproductionreceived on May 25 will go a long way in improving services orexpanding outreach.“Most people in the community are aware that we have notbeen able to be a full-time center since 2007,” said John Stotler,chair of the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. “Our goal in2011 was to became a full-time center again and this [gift] willhelp us a long way toward that.”LaWana Mayfield, a fund board member and leader withthe Ujamaa Institute said fund gifts will support her group’syouth training initiatives. “It is a special program that is targetedtoward youth doing philanthropy and teaching them thatit is more than giving money — it is giving your time, talent andtreasure,” she said.Steve Bentley, executive director of Time Out Youth, saidhe hopes the increased funds from Wells Fargo and the fundwill enable his group to increase staff hours and support theirschool outreach program.Similarly, Campus Pride’s Shane Windmeyer said hisgroup’s increased funding will be used to provide immediateneeds for youth seeking to attend their 2011 summer leadershipcamp.“We are working with two students right now,” Windmeyersaid. “one student who very recently lost her apartment in atornado and another student who couldn’t afford to attend thecamp because of his own personal, family situation. Thesefunds will allow us to get some scholarship resources out therefor these youth.”Vote today: Visit goqnotes.com/qlist to name your favorites in the 2011 QList, Best of LGBTCarolina. Voting ends June 20.Share your opinion: And, yours counts. Visit lgbtsurvey.com and share your views on avariety of subjects. Deadline is June 15.Grants dispersedThe Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund dispersed a record$85,000 in grants to several LGBT community organizationsand others dealing with LGBT issues. An additional$25,000 was granted to each of the eight organizationsreceiving operating grants from the fund. A list of grantrecipients is reprinted below:Operating GrantsCampus Pride, $4,500; Charlotte Black Gay Pride, $2,000;Charlotte Pride Band, $2,150; Gay Men’s Chorus ofCharlotte, $5,500; Lionel Lee Jr. Center for Wellness,$3,350; One Voice Chorus, $5,000; The Lesbian and GayCommunity Center, $7,500; Time Out Youth, $19,000.Community Connections GrantsActors Theatre of Charlotte, $5,000; Charlotte ChamberMusic and Gay Men’s Chorus, $2,900; One Voice Chorus,$2,500; Temple Beth-El, $1,800; The Lesbian and GayCommunity Center, $5,000; Time Out Youth, $2,300; UNCCharlotte Department of Counseling, $1,500.ADAM Queer Youth GrantsCampus Pride, $2,585; Community Culinary School ofCharlotte, $3,790; Lesbian and Gay Community Center,$1,780; The Ujamaa Institute, $2,845; Time Out Youth andGay Men’s Chorus, $4,000.Wells Fargo contributionsCampus Pride, $2,850; Charlotte Black Gay Pride, $1,300;Charlotte Pride Band, $1,300; Gay Men’s Chorus ofCharlotte, $3,450; Lionel Lee Jr. Center for Wellness,$2,300; One Voice Chorus, $3,200; The Lesbian and GayCommunity Center, $4,800; Time Out Youth, $3,500.Not for ReproductionJune 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 17

18 qnotes June 11-24 . 2011Not for ReproductionNot for Reproductionout in the starsby charlene lichtenstein :: qnotes contributorJune 11 - 24Love is fluffy, likewalking on air. And,it all floats gloriouslyoverhead until Mercuryand Venus squares retroNeptune. Hey, who popped our balloon? Betterpack a pillow for that long way back to reality.GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Pink Twins ache to makea name for themselves in the public eye andwill try a variety of stunts to juice their ascent.If you are tempted to try something new just tomake a splash, stop and think about it. There issomething that you are not seeing. It would be ashame to strut and fret your time upon the stageonly to fall in a pothole upon your entrance.CANCER (06.22-07.23) They say that one goodturn deserves another, but you could go into atailspin. Don’t over promise your volunteer time,gay Crab. You will only be rewarded with a lotmore charitable stuff to do. Try, instead, to parseout your time wisely, focusing on cementingfriendships. A fly-by-night romance may take youto new heights. Beware of getting vertigo.LEO (07.24-08.23) Will a certain compadrebecome more than just a friend? This is the timeto test the limits of a simple platonic relationship…ormaybe not. There is ample foggy thinkinggoing on here and little thought behind it forany future repercussions. Things can get hotand heavy and totally out of hand, proud Lion.Are you prepared for the aftermath? Or, will itbe an afterglow.VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Your driving need to achievecould hit a go-slow zone. Suddenly, everythingthat you have been focusing on — your career,your contact list and your next big thing — needsto be refocused and redrawn. Good. Thingsare still shifting on the political chessboardand queer Virgins don’t want to play the pawnsanymore. Checkmate upcoming.LIBRA (09.24-10.23) As feisty as you usually feel,proud Libras may be hit with a bout of fatigueand ennui. Maybe it’s because the world seemstoo big and unwieldy or maybe it’s because thedetails of the day-to-day are beginning to pileup and bury you. Don’t completely lose yoursteel resolve. A zippy renewed vitality is aroundthe corner. So, stand back world!SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) You have that certainsomething. Do you really know what that is? Ifso, pour it on and let it slide around. If not, testdrive your capabilities and see who hops onboard. It is a time of giddy experimentation thatcan take you to new heights. Fun and creativepastimes take on a dizzying and romantic hue.But, is it a trip to the moon on gossamer wings?Do you really care?SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Balance right nowwill be everything, especially when it comesto family, partnerships and your home base.Relationships require more attention and mayconflict with your idea of harmony and happiness.Gay Archers who have a tipsy domestic situationwill have to figure out how to stabilize and solidifyit. Of course, you could just leave it all to fate.CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Co-workers try tohorn in on your action and why not? You havemanaged to create a mystique about yourselfon the job. It is how you carry yourself. And, youhave successfully wooed the big bosses andseemed primed for bigger things. But, you knowthe truth, pink Cap. All that muss and fuss is soyou can do what you want when you want it.So, just do it.AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) The price of a goodtime just went up, Aqueerius. But ,don’t bediscouraged by the ever-escalating price tagfor your jollies. There are certain things inlife that are worth it, right? Your creativity isat a peak. But, avoid talking on and on aboutit. There are some things that just need to bedemonstrated. Let actions speak louder andprouder than words.PISCES (02.20-03.20) We are all a product of ourupbringing. And, you will clearly see how yourchildhood has helped to form your progress asan adult. That is actually good news, Guppie,because it is also a good time to break withold bad habits and see the world through fresheyes. Of course, those eyes may be wearingrose-colored glasses. Enjoy the view.ARIES (03.21-04.20) Proud Rams who cravefeisty words of love will receive a barrage ofthem now. However, it may turn out to be a shrilldrill instead of a thrilling twill. So, be preparedto be underwhelmed or disappointed in theshort term. In the long term, however, anythingis possible! A secret admirer may not be sosecretive. Ugh. Please, remain a mystery!TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Enjoy the bon temps whilethe money flows and flows. Queer Bulls areinto luxury, glitter and gold and spreading it andthemselves all around town. Friends get into theact and it is all so wonderfully decadent. But,guess what? You may find that you fritter yourmoney away on wasteful pastimes and unworthy,tawdry companions. Uh, this is bad? : :© 2011 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All RightsReserved. Entertainment.info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com fore-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. Mybook “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology ForLesbians” from Simon & Schuster isavailable at bookstores and major booksites.

tell trinityby trinity :: qnotes contributorIf the first date is suchhell, why bother?Dearest Trinity,I hate first dates. Why would anyoneput themselves through such hellas a first date?Skeptical, Nashville, TNDearest Skeptical,Think of a first date as fun and lighthearted,like a stroll in thepark, not the Last Supper.Think adventure! Think,learning about your likesand dislikes. Sure, somepeople are boring, butsome are charming and funny, you’llsee. And, while some people are easy to figureout, others are shy, nervous or happen to behaving a bad day. Life is exciting, sweetie,dating is exciting and first dates — well, trystarting them off with a good martini.Hey Trinity,My girlfriend gets on my case because I’msometimes late for work. She says, “To besuccessful you have to show up on time.”But, I say success is about showing up period. Don’t you think?Successfully Late, Providence, RINot for ReproductionHey Successfully Late,Yes, it’s been said, “Being early is on time. Being on time is late.And, being late is unacceptable.” However, pumpkin, just showup and you’re 90 percent there. Oh, and to be 100 percent successfulfor anything, you really should be fully awake. (Letthe teacher show you how it’s done by taking a look-see atmy cartoon.)Dear Trinity,I always date bad boys who treat me like crap and takeadvantage of my generosity. Sweet and kind eventuallyjust turns me off. What’s my problem?Bad Choices, St. Louis, MODear Bad Choices,Does the word “self-destructive” ring a bell? While toughand rough is sexy and a good challenge may be a big turn on,eventually, honey, you have to start dating someone who likesyou more than you hate yourself.Make the switch.Hello Trinity,I just got dumped and I want todie. I put everything into this one.I can’t believe this is happening.I can’t even get out of bed. Anymagic pills or potions?Dumped And Dead, Houston, TXHello Dumped And Dead,I wish I had some pills, but I tookthem all! Now, I must ask, “Is itreally the worst thing? Will yougive a damn in two years? And,must you take forever to heal?Darling, why not speed up the process with:Trinity’s Speedy Tips For Getting OverGetting Dumped1. If you’re depressed be depressed. Don’t hide it, but ratherfeel it and get into it. A lot of great music and poetry camefrom depression.2. Do things that make you laugh. Watch TV comedies, rentfunny movies and visit funny friends, but laugh. Yes, on onehand life is serious, but on the other hand, it’s also veryfunny.3. Sleep, sleep, sleep! Your mind and emotions are going totango for a while, so let your dreams do what they do best— help you fantasize.4. Keep busy with projects, i.e. work, school or volunteering.Sitting around feeling useless will make you crazy! Hey,start a dating book, I did!5. On a piece of paper, everyday write: “I forgive him. I forgivethat bastard! She is forgiven!” Forgiveness is healing and,besides, you’ll forgive them anyway in 10 years.6. Give your depression two weeks, no more. That’s enough.Being depressed is very unhealthy! And, then begin tipsseven thru 10!7. Start dating right away. Even if you know you’re not ready,just start practicing again. Also, get out and socialize, i.e.clubs, parties, anything!8. Have sex! That’s right! And, right away. Don’t save yourself.You need to feel sexy, alive and grounded. Even hire someone.Just this once!9. Force yourself to get over it and move on. Be that personpeople say, “He isn’t wasting time feeling sorry forhimself!”10. Lastly, go away, stay away, move away, but don’t cohabitatewith or near anyone who dumps you. And, get rid ofthe guns! : :— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity washost of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama,and now performs globally.info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.comSponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild800-637-8696 . www.ptown.orgJune 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 19Not for Reproduction

Not for ReproductionPride in Raleigh grows with hometownLGBT CenterFirst annual OutRaleigh Festival a hit, Center finds new homeby Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.comOrganizers of the recent OutRaleighFestival say they could have never expectedthe positive turnout they received when theirevent unrolled on downtown streets on May 14.Bobby Hilburn, executive director of theLGBT Center of Raleigh, the festival’s sponsor,said they expected a couple thousand attendees.When the event had come and gone,organizers counted more than 6,000.“We were definitely pleasantly surprised— one word that comes to mind is ‘overwhelmed,’”says OutRaleigh committee memberDaire Roebuck. “It was really somethingto stand up there on the stage and look at theold capitol building and see Fayetteville St.filled with people and vendors and gay prideballoons and flags.”The event on May 14 marked the first timeRaleigh held its own LGBT community festivalin years. The capital city had hosted statewidePride events and other smaller activitiesin the past, but locals wanted a new eventto call their own. Roebuck says OutRaleigh’ssuccess is part of the tremendous growth thecommunity has seen across the state. In recentyears, a variety of small-town communitieshave organized similar LGBT festivals andPride events.“It’s absolutely fantastic to see it all and itis a positive consequence of our communitiesgrowth,” she says. “We have this absolute influxof population to this state from all over thecountry — people moving from Michigan andNew York and places that have long-establishedPride festivals. They come down hereand to places like Salisbury and think, ‘Whycan’t we have Pride here?’ I think it is greatthat there is this proliferation of Pride events.”Though successful, Hilburn says theCenter and the organizing committee felt theirfair share of growing pains.“It was definitely a learning experience anda very rewarding experience,” he says. “Wegrew as a result of this planning process.”OutRaleigh’s success mirrors that ofHilburn’s center. The group’s initial board firstmet in 2008. By February 2010, the centerfound its first home on W. Cabarrus St. In April2010, the group announced they would mergewith Triangle Community Works, a communityservice and programming organization establishedin 1994. Two months ago, the centermoved to larger space at 411 Hillsborough St.“We’ve found a home that is three timeslarger than our old space,” Hilburn says. “Weplan for this space to be our home for the nextthree-to-five years and it will enable us to providenumerous programs and multiple meetinglocations for various organizations. We’re stillnot where we want to be but we are headingin the right direction as far as a facility goes.”The center held a grand opening for theirnew space on the same day as the OutRaleighFestival. Hilburn says that the community hasresponded positively and are continuing tosupport the center’s programming in new andexciting ways.He says Raleigh-based Workplace Optionsand Duke Medicine have both given at least$10,000 to the organization.In addition to OutRaleigh, the center hasseveral regular programs working to reachout and make a difference in the lives ofLGBTs across the Triangle area. Hilburn saysthe center’s “Gay and Gray” initiative hasbeen among the most popular.Gay and Gray chair Les Geller says theinitiative seeks to serve the social, healthcare,legal and other needs of an agingLGBT population ages 50 and over. He’s beenencouraged by the support the initiative hasreceived from both younger and older centersupporters.“We’ve seen quite a bit of support fromthe younger generation, which has been quitea surprise to me,” Geller says. “Several membersof our committee are under the age of 30and our volunteer coordinator is 26 years old.”Hilburn says the center has otherprograms they’ll soon be rolling out as thecenter continues to grow with its surroundingcommunity. Those programs include a newtransgender initiative.“We look forward to serving our communityin the coming year,” he says. “Weinvite people to come by and look at our newcenter. We want to make sure we welcome allmembers of our community. We have an opendoor policy. : :more: Be sure to pick up our June 25,2011, print edition for more on the LGBTCenter of Raleigh’s Gay and Gray initiative.The LGBT Center of Raleigh’s new location is larger and offers more opportunities for expanded programmingsays executive director Bobby Hilburn.Photo Credit: LGBT Center of RaleighPride 2011 Festivals, parades and other activities through OctoberSouth Carolina Black Gay Pride | June 24-26, 2011Join other LGBT people of color and allies for South Carolina’sannual black LGBT Pride festival in Columbia. Attracting acouple thousand people each year, SC Black Gay Pride eventsfeature forums, a festival, parties and more. Various events,locations and times. For more information, visitsouthcarolinablackpride.com.Salisbury Pride | June 25, 2011The LGBT community in Salisbury celebrates with its first-everlocal Pride festival. The town’s LGBT street festival begins at11 a.m. and runs through 5 p.m. E. Fisher St., Salisbury, NC.salisburypride.org.OBX Pridefest | June 25, 2011Local organizers in Salisbury aren’t the only communitycelebrating a first-time Pride. Community members in NagsHead, N.C., are gearing up for their inaugural event this year.Over 30 entertainers, musicians, singers, dancers, comediansand bands coalesce into this day-long festival on the coast. Formore information on the festival, other associated events andtravel/accommodations, visit obxpridefest.com.Charlotte Black Gay Pride | July 14-17, 2011Celebrating their 2011 theme, “Together We Can,” CharlotteBlack Gay Pride ramps up for a series of events throughoutCharlotte including a community forum and film festival,educational workshops and worship services. Various events,20 qnotes June 11-24 . 2011locations and times. For more information, visit charlotteblackgaypride.com.Triangle Black Gay Pride | July 28-Aug. 1, 2011Shades of Pride presents the 2011 Triangle Black Pride festivities.Events include a “S.I.N” or “Sexy in Nightwear” danceparty, an open mic and poetry slam, health screenings andeducational workshops and more. Various events, locationsand times. For more information, visit triangleblackpride.org.Pride Charlotte | Aug. 19-28, 2011A week-long series of LGBT community events culminatingwith the annual Pride Charlotte Festival, held this year on Aug.27 in Uptown Charlotte along S. Tryon St., at the new LevineCenter for the Arts. Organizers say they hope to have 15,000-20,000 attendees. Various events through Pride Week begin onAug. 19 and run through Aug. 28. For more information on theseevents and others, visit pridecharlotte.com.SC Pride Festival and Parade | Sept. 3, 2011The statewide South Carolina Pride Festival returns to downtownColumbia’s Finlay Park. Join as many as 14,000 PalmettoState LGBTs and allies for a day of fun. Details to be announced.For more information, visit scpride.org.NC Pride Fest & Parade | Sept. 24, 2011North Carolina’s annual statewide LGBT Pride festival and paradeattracts approximately 8,000-10,000 to Durham each year,Not for Reproductionalong with accompanying events in Chapel Hill and Raleigh.Details to be announced. For more information, visit ncpride.org.Catawba Valley Pride | Sept. 30-Oct. 2, 2011Pride is bursting out all over and it’s headed for higher ground.The Catawba Valley Pride 2011 is in full gear. “The Sky Is TheLimit!” is the theme organizers chose. A logo contest is in fullswing to create the look of this upcoming event.For more information, visit catawbavalleypride.org.Blue Ridge Pride | Oct. 1, 2011Asheville paints the Appalachians rainbow! A day-long outdoorfestival in downtown Asheville plus other events throughout theweekend. Details to be announced. For more information, visitblueridgepride.com.WSPride2011 | Oct. 15, 2011Equality Winston-Salem joins Salisbury and Nags Head organizersin debuting their first locally-produced Pride festival.Fifteen years ago, NC Pride was held in Winston-Salem andlocal organizers are ready to bring the same feeling back withmore local flair. For more details, including how to volunteer orcontribute to the new event, visit equalitywinstonsalem.org.— Did we miss a Pride festival or parade?Let us know and we’ll feature your listing in our next printedition and online. Or, submit your Pride festivities and otherevents online at goqnotes.com/qguide/events/submit/.

Not for ReproductionPositive ProfilePeople who are taking the negative out of being positiveby Dale Pierce ~ Practice ManagerWelcome to the third rotation of articles inthis series from Rosedale ID. Every third issue,we plan on spotlighting a patient who is livingwith the HIV virus — we hope our interviewwith them helps you to relate to their story aswe put a face on HIV/AIDS.Our first personal spotlight is on a 46-yearoldAfrican-American male, who has battled thedisease since 2001. In interest of privacy wehave changed names to protect his anonymity,so today we will be calling him Tim.When I first sat down with Tim in my officeto do his interview, I immediately noticed asense of self-assuredness that comes not onlyfrom the struggles with the virus, but also fromliving a positive life. He had been to his regulardoctor earlier in 2001 for his routine checkupsand noticed swollen lymph nodes on his neck(common in HIV-infected individuals). All histests had always came back negative and healways questioned his sexual partners andmade sure that he was practicing safe sex, witha one-night exception he recalls he was “caughtin the moment.” In addition to the swollenlymph nodes, Tim had also been experiencing alot of fatigue and other relatable symptoms.The thing that makes that day sounforgettable for Tim, and later the rest of theworld, was that Tim was scheduled to visit hisdoctor on Sept. 11, 2001.As he sat in the waiting room dealing withhis own anxiety over his results, a special newsbreak had come over the television. A planehad crashed into the World Trade Center andit was believed to be a terrorist attack on ourcountry. Tim was in shock and being that hehad friends and family in New York City, wasobviously distraught and concerned for theirsafety. Tim was so overcome by his emotionshe left the office to go home and monitor theprogress of those events.Two days later on Sep.13, 2001, he wouldlearn his own HIV status was positive, a momentthat began to change his world forever as well.Early on in the process Tim said that itwas easy to make one simple decision: “Do Iwant to live or do I want to die?” His choicewas obvious for him. He mentioned to me thatalthough he certainly understood the seriousnessof the diagnosis, it had to be an “okay, here iswhat the cards dealt, now how do I deal withit” attitude. Tim immediately started a regimenof three different anti-retroviral medicationsand suffered through the side effects with theknowledge that his only options were to takethe medications so he could continue to thrivein his life.Tim did not particularly enjoy going to thelarger facility where he was originally referredand after a few visits sought out a private clinicand physician, Dr. Joseph Jemsek. In the yearsto follow, as Tim settled into his routine with Dr.Jemsek and his staff, his counts improved andhis numbers thrived, as well as his attitude andcontinued zest for life.He made a move out of state for some timeand eventually returned several years laterto his home in the Carolinas. At the time hereturned to find that Dr. Jemsek had closed hispractice and moved out of the area. RosedaleID had taken over the patient base and privatepractice of HIV. Tim said he was relieved andrefreshed to find familiar faces at the newRosedale ID offices.Tim had also fallen on some hard times andwas concerned that he was about to lose hisinsurance at one point, which, unfortunately,happened to him. Rosedale ID and the RyanWhite and ADAP program were able to cometo the rescue.Today he is back working a great job, withprivate insurance, and happily still enjoyingthe “family” feel of our facility. Tim mentionedto me in our talk that he feels that finding outhis diagnosis has helped him to “live his owntruth.” At times he still feels somewhat lonelywhen dealing with his disease. This commenttook me aback being that all the years I haveknown him, he has been full of life and a greatspirit. He said it is not always his own thinking,but the fact that the “stigma” around thedisease and especially in the African-Americancommunity is what builds walls and barriersaround his feelings and interactions.He mentions that his experience atRosedale ID and with the staff there hashelped him tremendously when dealing withhis own insecurities because he is treated like“a member of the family.” Most recently, sinceRosedale ID has its own mail-order pharmacythrough a partnership with Kerr Health, wewere able to reduce Tim’s co-payments on hismedications.Living your truth and thriving is a powerfulthing. Tim and many of our patients areprime examples that HIV is no longer a deathsentence. Your treatment can be incorporatedinto your daily life and in some ways help yourmind, body, and spirit to prosper.— Sponsored Content —June 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 21Not for Reproduction

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drag ragby miss della :: qnotes contributorPageants are sizzling this summer!So, it’s not many times that I cansay I’m actually excited to be writingthe Rag. I’ve enjoyed doing it, but it’sa monthly thing for me and has beenfor many years. But, when youhave two national titleholders livingin your home state, that’s cause for celebration, in my opinion.By now, most of you know Luscious just won Miss GayU.S.ofA., and we have Miss America Coti Collins living inRaleigh (although she’s doing her La Cage gig in Oregon rightnow). We hope to do a separate write-up about Miss LuLusince she is the first Carolinian to win this U.S.ofA. title, althoughmany Miss Americas (seven) have ties to the Carolinasby birth or living arrangements. In fact, Luscious is one ofthose, too.She competed as Miss Georgia with excellent promoters.And, sponsors, too, I’m sure. Her runners-up included AmyDeMilo (also her RU at the state prelim), Natasha Braxton,Naomi St. James and Delores Van Cartier, followed by AlinaMaletti, Trinity Taylor, Chelsea Lauren, Kennedy Davenport,Kathryn Nevets, Adeciya Iman and Justice Paige Counce. Ourown Jessica Raynes Starr won Most Beautiful — a feat thathas not been pulled off by a “boy queen” (an impersonator wholives as male) in ages! Please see future articles about moreNC accomplishments. NC is back on da map, kids!That same weekend, Catia Lee Love, a former MissAmerica, and might as well be a Carolinian, won Miss GayU.S.ofA. Classic. Others in the Top 6 included Dina Jacobs,Alexis Principle, Aaron Davis, Coco Chandelier and IrocOctavia Goodness.Since I’m harping on the Miss America contest, too, it’s onlyright that many months after her win, we feature a picture ofCoti Collins. I know, it’s about time, gal. Recent qualifiers to thiscontest in the fall up in Columbus, OH include Miss OklahomaRoxie Hart (former Miss EOY); Atlantic States, Jessica JadeNot for Reproductionand RU Monica Moore; Virginia, Onyx Revlon; and Mid-Atlantic,Tatiyanna Voché.Another contest quickly approaching is the newer, excitingAll-American Goddess in Dayton, OH. With competitors likeCoti Collins, Miss Gay America 2011Photo Credit: Tios PhotographyBrittany Moore, Strawbella Bea’Goddess, Kori Stevens, AuroraSexton, Michelle Fighter, Shae Shae LaReese, Nina DeAngelo,Sania DeLa Cruz, Mercedes Alexander, Alana Steele andJasmine International, it’s no wonder I’ll be in that audience!Plus, I’ll get to see my good AAG at Large sisters, the reigningDena Cass (sick-o-ning promos, check out the website!) andKelexis Davenport. See y’all there!Other contests quickly approaching that I just may pop upat — Miss and Mr. Unlimited At Large in Hickory the third weekin June and Miss TX FFI and At Large in San Antonio for July4th weekend.Local contests that have taken place include Miss NC EOY,which Asheville’s Manhattan won. Her RUs included JaydaColby, Malayia Chanel Iman and Macaria Rage. I hear MissEOY Vanessa DeMornay was wonderful and Chad Michaelswas also in the house!On the NC America scene, I’ve got a lot of catchingup to do! Nirobi will be competing as the alternate to MissMetrolina and the new Miss Greensboro is Brianna Davis withRU Ferocia Starr. The new Miss DIVAS is Jade Paris with RURobyn Cassadine and Miss Asheville Angela Lopez with RUJacquelynn L. Matthews. Angela also recently just won theMiss Rainbow In contest and her RU was Malayia Chanel Iman.Other big names coming to town, folks, at the Scorpio:Former All-American Goddess and “RuPaul’s Drag Race”Season 3 contestant India Ferrah; Miss Erika Norell on Friday,July 1, and from the “Drag Race” Season 2, Jujubee on Sunday,July 3!This column is dedicated to the memory of a dear old sis,Tracey Stephens of Chicago and Charlotte, and who had beenliving in Atlanta. Tracey was 1st RU to Miss NC America in2009. : :info: Drop me a line, OK?TheTeaMissD@yahoo.comJune 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 23Not for Reproduction

general gayetyby leslie robinson :: qnotes contributorSqueeze playIn just a week, four male sports figurescame out. From the basketball world, RickWelts, the CEO of the Phoenix Suns, and WillSheridan, a former player at Villanova, wentpublic. Pro bowler Scott Norton and ESPNsports reporter Jared Max decided it wastime, too.What’s going through the minds of othergay men in the sports world now? Perhaps,some of them are thinking along these lines:Jesus H. Christ! Four of ‘em! It’s a damnstampede. Stampede, hah, probably a rodeostar will be next. “Brokeback Mountain” lives.I didn’t figure on coming out of the closettill I was …Who am I kidding, I never figuredon it. I just knew I couldn’t. Automatic. Likethrowing to first. Automatic.Except for that throw in the fifth yesterday.I threw it to the friggin’ cameraman.Two errors in a week. Not like me at all.Maybe this stuff is getting to me. Maybe ifanother guy comes out, I’ll forget how to bat.I bet it really is easier if you don’t playa team sport. Too late for me to switch topole-vaulting.That bowler. Bowling isn’t a team sport. Or,is it? Do two guys ever bowl at the same timein the same lane? Yeah, if they’re named Fredand Barney.It’s stupid to say it’s easy for guys doingindividual sports to admit they’re gay. It’snever easy.Being a man is what it’s about.Masculinity. “Macho, macho man.” Oh, God.Not for ReproductionBaseball, baseball, baseball. It’s all I’veever been, all I’ve ever wanted to be. And, Igot here. The big leagues. Made everybodyproud. Worked my ass off. Made me proud.God, Coach Graham. Made me a greatshortstop. And, told the freshmen to stopthrowing like fairies. Said every ball thrownshort in the dirt kicked up fairy dust.Be a man. Be a man. Doesn’t a man standup for himself?No goddamn way. If I came out, told thewhole world I’m gay, I’d be screwed! Don’tthink they could actually fire me, but I’d besent down to Little League.My teammates would freak. Well, notAdam. Or, Jake. They’re pretty cool. And, Juanhas a gay brother. Len, with his “faggot this”and “faggot that” would probably wanna fight.Others just flat wouldn’t talk to me. But, otherswould ask me about being gay I bet. Could Ihandle that? Being the dugout homo expert?Here’s the thing. If I got honest, I could stopdating in the shadows. Maybe even snag me ahandsome Hollywood type. Or, a third baseman.The fans? Probably mixed. Mostly good.The away fans, that’s gonna be bad.They’ll boo me, yell all kinds of crap.“Hey Frazier, do you like fair balls orfoul balls?”Ownership? Too busy screwing20-year-olds to notice. Old Mac? Hewon’t get it. But, he stands by all hisplayers, so maybe…So, if I came out, it would bemega-stress. Dealing with the reactions ofeverybody, from the ball boys to the media. Onthe other side, there’s the stress I have now.Living a lie. Which is kinda getting to me.Damn those four! All my life I’ve had peerpressure to stay hidden. Now, I’ve got peerpressure to come out!I suppose that’s cool in a way. Barriers arefalling. Boom.Okay, okay, I’ll make a deal with myself.I’ll definitely come out when I retire. And, I’llthink about coming out sooner. Jesus, maybeI’ll join the next wave. It’ll be me, a hockeyexecutive, a swimmer and a play-by-play man.But, one of them better go first. : :info: generalgayety.comVIEWS24 qnotes June 11-24 . 2011Not for Reproduction

on being a gay parentby brett webb-mitchell :: qnotes contributorWe’re relatedIn a previous column, Iwrote about the way that thefederal government remindsme how odd and “secondclass” my family is when comingthrough passport controlwhen re-entering my country. Ihave stood in line and watchedas families with children,warring spouses and multi-generational families sail throughpassport control with little-to-no hassle. I, on the other hand,have always had to separate myself from my partner, each ofus filling out our own, individual re-entry cards, marking “0”where you record if you are with any other family member, beit a spouse, child, or parent who is living under the same roof.That small, slightly insignificant act was a gestural reminderthat my “family” is not comprehended, or treated like a family,American style. My family was different and defied the normsimply because the person I am in relationship to and love isNot for Reproductionof the same sex. The person with whom I have shared my upsand downs, trials and tribulations, joys and sorrows, comedichigh points and life decisions for over 15 years was not “family.”If this isn’t family, I don’t know what is.So my partner, Dean, and I were on our way back fromCosta Rica a few days ago. Before they handed out there-entry forms, the flight attendant asked, “Take one formper household.” I looked at Dean and said, “Household?” Ichecked it out with the flight attendant and she said that thefederal authorities were getting tired of all the paper workand that they were simply asking for one form per household,as long as the people were living under “one roof.” We gotone form! That was a first.Re-entering the States in Atlanta, Ga., we passed a kioskwith more blue and white re-entry forms. I knew that if we gotup to the counter with the federal authority, we could simplyget another form. I was a bit anxious, questioning what wouldhappen with Dean. But, we thought there would be no harm intrying. What’s the worse they could do to us? Tell us to get anotherform, thus further cementing our second-citizen status?When called upon with the simple command, “Next!”we moved together, as a couple, to the federal agent. I gavehim the one form and the two passports. He looked at there-entry form and then simply asked, “Are you related?” Eventhough his last name is Blackburn and I am Webb-Mitchell,after living together for over 15 years, yes, we are related. Hescanned our passports, wrote a large “2” on the form itself,stamped the re-entry form and gave it back to us for us to getour luggage and go through customs. No one asked us at anyof these next two stations if we were related or had to showfurther identification. They just waived us through, as if, well,we were family.“Oh my God!” I said, as partly prayer and part exclamation,as we walked down to the next area to get anotherflight to Raleigh-Durham. For the first time since I was in aheterosexual marriage, the U.S. government recognized myfamily as a family, just like anyone else’s family. This is a smallchange that had a big affect upon my psyche and the psycheof literally thousands of LGBTQ couples and families. A newday is dawning, with more changes to come as we, who areLGBTQ and in relationship say, sing, dance, and announce tothe world that, “yes, we are related.” : :qomunity qonexions uJune 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 25Not for Reproduction

Vote today: Visit goqnotes.com/qlist to name your favorites in the2011 QList, Best of LGBT Carolina. Voting ends June 20.Share your opinion: And, yours counts. Visit lgbtsurvey.comand share your views on a variety of subjects. Deadline is June 15.Not for Reproductionout in printby terri schlichenmeyer :: qnotes contributorChaz Bono’s ‘Transition’The face in the mirroris yours.Yes, you recognizethat chin, the eyes thatdroop when fatigued,the mouth that’s etchedparentheses around itself,as if to enclose something you said.That’s your hair. Those are your ears.That’s your nose.It’s you there in the mirror — the outsideyou — but inside, well, what you see isn’t whatyou know. In the new book “Transition” by ChazBono (with Billie Fitzpatrick), you’ll read whatit’s like to feel like you’re in the wrong body, andhow a tiny Hollywood darling became a man.On the wall of his home, Chaz Bono has apicture of himself and his parents, taken whenhe was a toddler. They all look happy, Bonosays, but he doesn’t remember that day ormuch of his childhood.What he does remember, though, is thatBOOKShe always felt like a boy, eventhough he was the daughter ofSonny and Cher.Bono says that, as a child, hedressed in boy clothes as much as possibleand answered to a boy’s nickname. He playedwith boys at school and his best friend was aboy. Nobody thought much about it, he says.That’s just the way it was.Puberty was rough and Bono came outas a lesbian, but something still wasn’t quiteright. He didn’t identify with women, gay orotherwise, and distant feelings of masculinitycolored his relationships with them and withhis family. Still, he lived his life as a woman:falling in love, starting a band, buying a houseand trying to stay out of the public eye.Bono’s father seemed supportive of hislesbianism. His mother had trouble with it.But, happiness eluded Bono and he turnedto drugs to cope with the frustration. By then,though, he thought he knew what he neededto do…On March 20, 2009, he says “I drove myselfto the doctor’s office… I felt only confidentthat what I was doing was right.”“After all the years of fear, ambivalence,doubts and emotional torture, the day hadfinally come. I was on testosterone and I havesee next page u26 qnotes June 11-24 . 2011Not for Reproduction

Pride CharlottePageants Galore!Join Pride Charlotte and a host of pageanthosts for a series of contests leading up toone lucky girl’s chance to be named MissPride Charlotte. Pageants for Miss PrideCharlotte, Mr. Pride Charlotte MI and Mr.Pride Charlotte will be held throughoutJune and July. For more detailed informationon each of these events and others,visit pridecharlotte.com/events/.June 11 • GreensboroJune 18 • Winston-SalemLocation, Location, LocationJoin Triad Pride Men’s Chorus on a musicaljourney across the nation. Songs include:“From Where I Stand,” “Loch Lomond,”“Kansas City” and many more. GreensboroDay School Sloan Theatre, 5401 LawndaleDr. 8 p.m. A second show will be held June18, UNC School of the Arts Watson ChamberMusic Hall, 1533 S. Main St. 8 p.m. $15/advance.$20/door. To purchase tickets, call 336-589-6267 or visit triadpridemenschorus.org.June 12 • CharlotteMiss Gay Charlotte AmericaThe 30th Annual Miss Gay Charlotte AmericaPageant, featuring Emory Starr, Starla DaVinci,Blair Williams, Felicia Monet & Tiffany Storm.The Scorpio, 2301 Freedom Dr. 9 p.m.scorpios.com.June 12 • RaleighSing for the CureTriangle Gay Men’s Chorus and the CommonWoman Chorus of Durham will present theTriangle’s first performance of A Proclamationof Hope — featuring Sing for the Cure at theMeymandi Concert Hall of Raleigh’s ProgressEnergy Center for the Performing Arts. Formore information or to purchase tickets, visittgmchorus.org.June 18 • AshevilleGay 5K/Gay GamesThe Gay 5K and Fun Run to support BlueRidge Pride. Come as a team or individual toparticipate in the Gay Games. Think adult fieldday with some costumes, music, and supergay prizes. After party at Altamont BrewingCompany in West Asheville. Register a teamat www.blueridgepride.com. Carrier Park, 220Amboy Rd. 10 a.m.-4 p.m.June 20 • StatewideQList voting ends!Today’s your last day to vote in our 2011 QList— Best of LGBT Carolina. Voting stays openuntil 11:59 p.m., so get in your votes for yourfavorite nightclubs and bars, restaurants andcoffee shops and community groups andleaders! goqnotes.com/qlist/.June 23-26 • ColumbiaSC Black PrideA series of community events, nightlife activities,a town hall and other events mark thesixth annual South Carolina Black Pride. Thisyear’s theme is “Mind, Body & Soul.” For afull list of events and other information, visitsouthcarolinablackpride.com.June 24 • Winston-SalemJune Bride BingoEquality Winston-Salem presents “JuneBride” Gay Bingo. Event location moves todowntown! MC Benton, Jr. Convention Center,301 W. Fifth St. equalitywinstonsalem.org.June 25 • SalisburySalisbury PrideCommunity members celebrate their firstLGBT Pride event in Salisbury. A festivalwith community leaders and entertainmentNot for Reproductionis planned. E. Fisher St. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Free.salisburypride.com.June 25 • Charlotte | Stonewall PartyThe LGBT Community Center of Charlottehosts a commemoration of the 1969 StonewallRiots. Join community members for free hotdogs and hamburgers and games outside thecenter. Inside, watch the documentary “BeforeStonewall.” LGBT Community Center ofCharlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11. 704-333-0144. gaycharlotte.com.June 25 • Nags HeadOBX PridefestThe Outer Banks’ first Pride festival is a threedaycelebration of music, laughter and familyand it’s at the BEACH in Nags Head! Over30 entertainers, musicians, singers, dancers,comedians and bands. More details atobxpridefest.com.June 26 • Winston-SalemMiss Gay Winston Salem AmericaPreliminary pageant to Miss Gay NCAmerica. AIDS Care Service will be on handto promote awareness in the community aswell as entertainers from across the state!Club Co2, 4019 Country Club Rd. 10 p.m.336-908-2551.June 30-July 3 • CharlotteAntiques showFrom apartments to million dollar homes,you’ll find unique items to fit any style andbudget at the International Collectibles andAntiques Show! Including: home decor,antiques, furniture, collectibles, art, jewelry,crafts and more. Metrolina TradeshowExpo, 7100 Statesville Rd. icashows.com/ICAShows.Qqnotes eventsgoqnotes.com/qguide/eventsarts. entertainment. news. views.July 4 • CharlottePresbyterian Hospital July 4th SpectacularSpend your Fourth of July with friends andfamily in Center City Charlotte at MemorialStadium. 310 N. Kings Dr., for the PresbyterianHospital July 4th Spectacular! Family-funactivities will take place from 4-9 p.m. FREEadmission! Alcohol free! Food, live music andmore! findyourcenter.com.July 15-17 • CharlotteCharlotte Black Gay PrideThe annual black LGBT Pride event inCharlotte, attracting 3,000-4,000 annually. Formore information on various Pride and relatedevents visit charlotteblackgaypride.com.July 28-Aug. 1 • CharlotteTriangle Black Gay PrideThe annual black LGBT Pride event in theTriange, attracting approximately 2,000 annually.For more information, visit triangleblackpride.org.Out in Print continued from page 26never looked back — not once.”Author Chaz Bono says at one point thathe was never very good at transitions. Hedid a pretty good job at this one, with a fewminor bumps.“Transition” is filled with angst, anger,sadness and pain, topped off with wondermentand joy. It’s also repetitious, contains a fewdelicately squirmy moments and its occasionalbogginess is a challenge for wandering minds.For wondering minds, Bono is quick to defendand explain away his family’s reluctanceto accept his gender reassignment, but he’salso willing to admit to being hurt by it. Still,contentment and awe shine forth at the endof this book, and readers will breathe a sigh ofrelief for it.If you can face the slowness that crops upin “Transition” now and then, you’ll find it tobe a pretty good memoir. For you, it’s a book toput your hands on. : :info:“Transition”by Chaz Bono (with Billie Fitzpatrick)© 2011, Dutton • $25.95June 11-24 . 2011 qnotes 27Not for Reproduction

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