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newsGAUNTLETSEPTEMBER 18.08 5Editor: Sarelle Azuelos—news@gauntlet.ucalgary.caCampus food bank use fallingStudents not hungry or not sure where to goChris WanamakerGauntlet NewsFood-insecure students trying to makethe choice between paying their rent andbuying their dinner can still turn to theCampus Food Bank for emergency support.Located in MacEwan Student Centre since2004, the food bank allows University ofCalgary students and staff in need to pick upa food hamper once every 30 days or up to sixtimes during the fall and winter semesters.A recent study found 10 per cent of Canadianhouseholds cannot meet all of their basic needsdue to financial stress. The Canada-wide studyshowed that for those without enough moneyto buy milk or butter, the experience of eatingKraft Dinner can be very different than for thosewho eat it as a comfort food.The study, “Discomforting comfort foods:stirring the pot on Kraft Dinner and socialinequality in Canada,” was published in theinternational journal Agricultural and HumanValues and was co-authored by U of C facultyof medicine professor Dr. Lynn McIntyre andresearch associate Krista Rondeau. It describedfood insecurity as “the inability to obtainsufficient, nutritious, personally acceptablefood… or the uncertainty that one will beable to do so.”The study follows a report issued last yearby the Calgary Poverty Coalition which suggestedCalgarians are seeing a different kind ofpoverty these days. It referred to recent studiesthat showed the gap between rich and poorbecoming wider and more visible in Calgary,attributed to increasing income for well-offCalgarians and higher debt, decreasing savingsand stagnating incomes for others.Despite the studies, Campus Food Bankuse has decreased by about 50 per cent in thelast two years, said Students’ Union volunteerservices manager Sue Wilmot.SU vice president external AlastairMacKinnon thinks the decrease may be dueEvent helps homeless in Calgary get IDs and shelterMorgan HaiglerGauntlet NewsImagine for a moment that youare surviving without a home. Youhave no personal identification cardand in turn, you can’t deposit moneyinto a personal bank account. Helpis coming.The Calgary Homeless Foundationwill host Project Homeless Connectfor disadvantaged people Sept. 20.Do you see a need for the food bank on campus?A recent study found that for some, this is comfort food while for others, it’s a luxury.The event runs from 9 a.m. to4 p.m. in the Calgary MunicipalBuilding atrium and will addressthe most important needs of homelessmen, women and children. Thefoundation will offer free meals,haircuts, clothing, mental healthcare services, legal guidance,creative arts stations, addictioncounselling services and housingopportunities.“One of the biggest challengespeople experiencing homelessnesshave is navigating the systemsout there,” said Calgary HomlessFoundation president and CEO TimRichter. “If you don’t have a homeor you don’t have an address or youdon’t have identification, then it’sreally difficult to get help. Whatwe’re trying to do is make it aseasy as we can for people to accessthe help they need.”According to the CalgaryJulia Osinchuk/the Gauntletto students’ lack of awareness of the service.Wilmot argued more students can work parttimeto make ends meet.“There could be a correlation between foodsee Food, page 7Committee to End Homelessness,15,000 people will be homeless by2016 because of changes to Calgary’seconomic, social and public policies.Mustard Seed communicationsspecialist Courtney Fliss believesone of the biggest dilemmas of thehomeless crisis is affordable housingand living expenses.“Even over the past two years, youknow, there have been over a thousandmen and women who have beendisplaced because of urban renewalor condominium conversions,” saidFliss. “It’s expensive to live in thecity, whether it’s renting an apartmentor making a down paymenton a home. It’s really importantthat we find affordable housingand build affordable housing forthe homeless.”Fliss advocated what the Mustardsee HOmeless, page 10campus quips“Probably. Studentpoverty is an importantissue.”– Louis Poirier, thirdyearPhD physics“It’s useful for somestudents.”– Mohammed Sorour,fifth-year PhD engineering“It’s a resource forpeople who feelthat they don’t haveother options.”– Virginia Harper,fifth-year english“Yes, it’s importantthat everyone hasaccess to food.”– Kalista Kohlman,first-year social sciencesInterviews and photographs: Vivian Leung

6 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET NEWSCampuses thirsty for water across CanadaJosh FriesenGauntlet NewsPublic water fountains on campuses acrossthe country are taking a hit, accordingto a recent Canadian Centre for PolicyAlternatives survey.CCPA’s goal was to determine the extent ofcommercial and corporate presence on campuses.Of the survey’s respondents, 33 per centreported a declining number of water fountainsavailable on campus while 43 per cent noticeddelays in making repairs to existing water fountains.Some groups are worried the observed dropin access to public drinking water is a symptomof greater corporate intervention on campus.“This survey affirmed a bunch of things thatwe’ve been aware of,” said Polaris Instituteresearch coordinator Richard Girard. “Whenyou see the rise of the bottled industry, as wellas the rise of beverage exclusivity contracts oncampus coinciding with the diminishing numberof functioning water fountains, you’ve got to ask[some] difficult questions.”He wanted to know if it is possible for facultyand students’ access to free drinking water toThe U of C plans to improve all 225 water fountains on campus.be jeopardized by bottom-line driven corporations.Beverage exclusivity started to appearon campuses in Canada in the mid-1990s andthey restrict campus vendors to selling beveragesfrom only one company.Julia Osinchuk/the GauntletBoth Pepsi and Coke began to offer thesecontracts to schools in exchange for sponsoredevents and scholarships. Recently, some studentshave become concerned about water fountainspotentially being edged out by these companies’Bob Page rules the environmental worldbottled products. Third-year english major PaulBeriault complained bottled water was too expensiveand environmentally unsound.CCPA’s recent survey found no evidence ofaction taken to eliminate water fountains fromany of the campuses studied. Nor were thereany legal clauses in the beverage exclusivitycontracts offered by Pepsi or Coke demandingthe scrapping of water fountains.U of C communications director VeronicaHoskins related a positive picture for waterfountains.“Our water fountains are actually being retrofitted,”said Hoskins.Fifty-four have been redone in the sciencebuildings alone and there are plans to improve all225 currently on campus. Hoskins also assertedthat her office received no complaints regardingthe number of water fountains.“The number of vending machines in ourbuildings has stayed constant for the last 11years,” she said. “Only the products havechanged.”The U of C’s last contract with Pepsi endedin December 2007. A new contract was signedbehind closed doors.Daniel PaganGauntlet NewsCanada’s most influencial environmentaladvisors are getting anew boss.University of Calgary professorBob Page was appointed chair ofthe National Round Table on theEnvironment and the Economy.Page has 25 years of experience as theU fo C TransAlta CorporationProfessor of EnvironmentalManagement and Sustainability. Heworked as vice-president of sustainabledevelopment for TransAlta for10 years on carbon offset projectsand market-based trading to helpreduce the company’s greenhousegas emissions.Founded by former prime ministerBrian Mulroney in 1988, NRTEE is anadvisory body where various voiceswrite reports on the environment. Itincludes industry, government, academic,community, public health,environmental groups and otherinterests in debates. Page was selectedby federal environment minister JohnBaird after an open competition.NRTEE plays a big role in influencingenvironmental policy, but Page feelsa little intimidated by the amount ofwork required on challenges such asglobal warming.“Smog, water and drought, healthhazards, toxic emissions and manymore,” said Page. “There are a dozenmore issues facing us.”His experience at the Institute forSustainable Energy, Environment andEconomy helped him prepare for theNRTEE appointment.“What we do everyday in ISEEE isbackground to this work, such as carboncapture and storage,” he said.Currently there are four or fivelarge carbon capture projects withgovernment funding.“I expect one [new development] inthe current election campaign,” saidPage. “TransAlta is looking at retrofittingan existing 400 megawatt coalplant west of Edmonton to captureone million tonnes of CO2.”Alberta is spending $2 billion on carboncapture plans, however Page feelsthe environmental impact of carboncapture plan and noise disturbanceneed to be considered more closely.He will chair NRTEE for three yearsand complete three reports, includingan assessment of the federal government’sperformance on implementingthe Kyoto Protocol.“We found the government’s estimationsof what they will achieve tobe inflated,” said Page.The other reports will focus on carbonpricing, a national carbon tax oremissions cap and the climate change’simpact in Canada’s Arctic.“Unless there is a cost to people,action on greenhouse gas emissionis unlikely,” said Page.

GAUNTLET NEWS SEPTEMBER 18.08 7Former Calgarian helps kids in NicaraguaCallow raised funds through benefit concert for juvenile prison in BluefieldsMorgan HaiglerGauntlet NewsThe imprisoned children of Bluefields,Nicaragua can sleep more comfortablythanks to the humanitarian efforts offormer Calgarian Bruce Callow.After raising $2,500 at a July benefit concertin Calgary and nearly $12,500 throughthe Caribbean Coast Prison Appeal ofNicaragua campaign, Callow said there isenough money to construct two separate jailcells to detain minors aged 12 to 17. At thesenew facilities, Nicaraguan children will avoidthe overcrowded cells they once shared withadult prisoners.“When you have a situation where childrenare mixed in with an adult population in cagesand they’re allowed out for sun one hour a weekand the food allotment is inadequate, we tryto find a goal that we could actually reach andthat was protecting the young prisoners,” saidCallow, who has been a political officer at theBritish Embassy in Costa Rica since 2004.The Tico Times claimed in March that 120convicts serving full-term jail sentences arebeing kept in underground cells initially builtfor 40 people. This has forced many prisoners tolive in cramped living quarters up to 20 hoursa day. Additionally, the British Embassy inCosta Rica has been lobbying the Nicaraguangovernment about overcrowding and healthproblems that have resulted from unsanitaryconditions in jail cells.Callow said not only are living conditions inNicaragua’s prison system poor, but childrenare learning from hardened criminals. Theyare also at risk for rape and assault by adultinmates who are incarcerated for a variety ofcrimes.“You can imagine the influence it must haveon them psychologically, physically, emotionallyand so on,” said Callow. “It’s not a goodsituation and the sooner we can get them outof there, the better.”According to Callow, most of the youngprisoners have a history of stealing, drug possessionor assault. To help Nicaraguan childrenlearn valuable skills, the Marian Baker Schoolin Costa Rica donated nine boxes of books tothe new jail cells in Bluefields.Jesse-James Cameron, the lead band memberof Makeshift Innocence and one of themain contributors of the benefit concert forBluefields’ prison, said reading about Callow’sfundraising plans encouraged him to helpNicaraguan children.“After reading [a Calgary Sun article,] Ifelt somewhat inspired,” said Cameron. “Icame from a harder background and a lot ofpeople I know ended up in prison. The minuteI read that, it kind of hit me at a personallevel.”Construction of the next jail is expectedtake place in Puerto Cabeza, just north ofBluefields. Cameron added his band wouldlike to be a part of future fundraising eventsif the opportunity presents itself.“We believe in helping people,” saidCameron. “We believe in small changes thatFood, cont’d from pg. 5can do a lot. They have a ripple effect andthey can do quite a bit of good down theroad. Sometimes it just takes some inspiringof the community to get together and try tohelp out.”Canada’s Ambassador to Costa Rica NeilReeder, the Canadian Cooperation Agency,courtesy Bruce CallowChildren in Nicaraguan prisons are sharing their poor conditions with adults.Leeds University and several non-governmentalorganizations also helped Callow ease the sufferingof imprisoned Nicaraguan children.To help the next campaign, contact Bruce at the British Embassy inCosta Rica at bruce.callow@fco.gov.uk.bank usage and availability of fairlywell-paying, part-time jobs, like atTim Hortons, where people makesomething like $15 an hour,” shesaid.The Interfaith Food Bank has seensimilar patterns over the same timeperiod, Wilmot added.Of those students who have usedthe food bank during the last year,40 per cent said they were concernedwith rent increases. Others are tryingto cope with unseen expensesrelated to the rising cost of utilities,natural gas and fuel.But students’ difficulties rangefrom insufficient student loansor social assistance, family illness,sudden unemployment or even asudden change in marital status.MacKinnon believes somethingneeds to be done for students facedwith unexpected expenses.“The expenses pile up,” he said.“Often students will choose lesshealthy food or they’ll just stopeating. You can’t not pay tuitionand buy your books if you want tostay in school.”MacKinnon wants to see moreupfront, non-repayable financialassistance for students in the formof grants and bursaries instead oftax breaks. He believes expectationsof parental contributions to a student’suniversity education shouldbe eliminated, since some parentsmay not be able to contribute evenif they are making a lot of moneyon paper.Assistance should also be targetedto certain groups of students underrepresentedat U of C, he said, suchas rural students, students from thenorth and aboriginal students.Students in financial need cantake advantage of various servicesoffered other than the food bank,such as the financial aid office,the Counselling Centre and theStudents’ Union office.Go to www.su.ucalgary.ca for a list of items indemand at the Campus Food Bank.

8 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET NEWSCanadian stranded in Guantanamo BaySarelle AzuelosNews EditorCanadians expect their governmentto respect and protecttheir rights. A group ofhuman rights lawyers are claiming that21-year-old Omar Khadr, a Canadianin Guantanamo Bay, has been deniedthis luxury.On Monday, Lawyers’ Rights WatchCanada member Gail Davidson cameto campus as part of the Consortiumfor Peace Studies at the Universityof Calgary. Her speech, entitled,“Canada’s Duty to Protect HumanRights Abroad: The Case of OmarKhadr,” addressed Khadr’s lack ofCanadian legal support despite obviousillegal practices used against him.Born in Ottawa on Sept. 19, 1986,Khadr grew up in both Canada andAfghanistan. On July 27, 2002, at theage of 15, he was captured by Americantroops in Afghanistan.“It was a U.S. firefight, land attackand air attack of approximately fivehours on a group of small buildingsin Afghanistan,” explained Davidson.“At the end of the firefight, Mr. Khadrwas the only one living. We don’t knowhow many of them were killed.”One American soldier was killed inthe attack and several were injured.Davidson said the initial report claimedthe man who threw the grenade thatkilled Sgt. Christopher Speer was alsokilled in combat. Khadr is currentlycharged with Speer’s death. An editedversion of the report that used the word“engaged” instead of “killed” was laterpublicly released.Khadr was shot twice and spentthree months in Bagram Prisonbefore his transfer to GuantanamoBay. He has been imprisoned therefor six years.“Canada knew that for anyone goingto Guantanamo Bay, their rights wouldbe violated,” said Davidson. “Everyother western nation that had nationalsin Guantanamo Bay quickly securedtheir release. Great Britain got out noncitizenswho had lived there.”In 2004, the U.S. Supreme Courtruled that indefinite detention andwithholding a fair trial violated U.S.law. Congress later supported theDavidson spoke out against Khadr’s continued detention in Guantanamo Bay.Combatant Status Review Tribunalsas a viable substitute, but they wererejected by the courts this June.Canadian officials met with Khadrseveral times, but violated his legalrights by sharing information gatheredfrom the meetings with Americans.“This is an issue of critical importance,not only to Omar Khadr, but toCanadians,” she said. “What he toldCanadians was that the Americans,in order to make Mr. Khadr moreamenable, they subjected him tosleep adjustment — what was calledby Guantanamo Bay chaps as ‘thefrequent flyer program.’ Prisonerswere moved every three hours forseveral days.”The United Nations categorizesthis treatment as torture when continuedfor several days. Khadr underwentsleep adjustment for 21 days. He wasalso short shackled and kept in isolationwith extreme temperatures, saidDavidson.“What the U.S. has done is said, ‘Hey,come on, it’s not torture,’ ” she said.“Omar Khadr is entitled to these rightsas a human and as a Canadian andbecause in law, he’s a child. Partially,Mike Beale/the GauntletI think the government is doing itbecause they can. It’ll get them somemarks with the U.S. If you could go tojail for not being nice, I would’ve beenthere a long time ago.”LRWC sent letters to prime ministerStephen Harper and former foreignaffairs minister Maxime Bernier afterthey stated Khadr must exhaust all U.S.remedies before the Canadian governmentwill act. Legally this is not thecase when local remedies are futile,ineffective or delayed.“Your answer is based on wrongfacts and wrong law,” Davidson saidin regards to the government’s reply.“Our response was that Mr. Bernier’scalendar didn’t allow time for consultationwith people who knew the facts.It’s up to citizens to complain that theywant an investigation.”Khadr’s trial is set to start Nov. 10,but his lawyer argues it may not allowtime for psychiatric assessments.

GAUNTLET NEWS SEPTEMBER 18.08 9Wireless access expands outsideJulie PhillipsGauntlet NewsOn the hill by the prairiechicken, second-yearengineering studentsTyler Enns and Glenda Yee aresurfing the net.“I just thought we were getting[Wi-Fi] from a building,” said Enns,who did not realize the increasedwireless coverage is due to three newantennas installed over the summeron the U of C campus.Wi-Fi coverage is now availableon the lawns outside the ICT building,MacEwan Student Centre andSwann Mall, in addition to insideevery building on campus.“It’s an added service we canprovide for students,” said networkservices manager Doug Doran. “Werecognize that a lot of students useHomeless, continued from page 5The U of C’s outdoor Wi-Fi equipment cost roughly $6,300.these locations for study purposeswhen the weather’s nice. You’ll onlysee usage from students sitting outSeed — a non-profit, Christianhumanitarian organization — doesfor those living in poverty. She saida combination of different training,counselling services and positiveinfluences are necessary for a successfuloutcome.“We believe all those things arevery beneficial in helping someoneresolve their life and get offthe streets,” said Fliss. “We reallybelieve that will be a huge asset inhelping them just get back on theirfeet again and help them regain theirindependence.”The Calgary Homeless Foundationpoured about $60,000 intothe all-day event, bringing together50 service agencies and 150 volunteersto care for hundreds ofhomeless individuals in Calgary.Organizations such as the SalvationArmy, Canadian Mental HealthAssociation, Boys and Girls Clubsof Calgary and the Central UnitedChurch will be there to lend theirsupport.Richter said the Calgary HomelessFoundation plans to organizethree more Project HomelessConnect events this year andanother four in the year to come.Last year, the event took placeat the Calgary Telus ConventionCentre where 650 homeless peoplewere helped throughout theday.“I’m hoping that Calgariansthere probably May through earlyOctober, but there are people whotransit that area all year round.”who participate and help out inProject Homeless Connect willbegin to see another face of homelessness,”said Richter. “It’s easyfor us to get trapped in the stereotypesand what I’m hoping isthat people who are experiencinghomelessness get to be seenas people and that when theycome here, they’re treated withrespect and dignity.”Phylicia Tran/the GauntletThe extended wireless networkequipment cost around $6,300 andis inspired by the increased popularityof handheld mobile devices withwireless capabilities.“The Micro Store, over the summer,sold about 750 iPhones,” saidDoran. “Each one of those devicescomes with Wi-Fi and those areextremely mobile devices.”At peak usage times, there arearound 6,000 people on the AirUCWi-Fi network.In the future, AirUC may extend tocover the lawn between the residencebuildings, as well as the space nearthe university daycare between theBio Science building and UniversityLRT station.A 2008 survey conducted by thePrinceton Review stated that of the top20 high-tech U.S. college campuses, atleast half the schools have 75 per centor better coverage outdoors.“It’s nice to be in that sort ofcategory,” said Doran.Fliss called for more affordable housing for the homeless.Gauntlet fi le photo

10 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET NEWSNews for the unnewsed:Economy in crisisAsma Chaudry and Nenad TomanicGauntlet NewsAmerican economic crisisLehman Brothers HoldingsInc. filed for the largestbankruptcy in historyMonday. Lehman, the fourth largestU.S. investment bank, had assetsof $639 billion at the end of May.The bank financed too many riskyassets with little capital. Centralbanks are pumping billions of dollarsto contain the crisis in WallStreet and to prevent the increasein the cost of borrowing betweenbanks. Stocks around the worldcontinue to fall.U of T crisis avertedThe University of Torontoopened without disruptions Sept. 8after a brewing strike was averted.The 3,500 Members of UnitedSteelworkers Local 1998, who assistwith U of T’s research, administration,fundraising and technicalsupport, were concerned aboutpensions, job security and wages.The deadline for the strike was12 a.m. Sept. 7 and an agreementwas reached late Sunday afternoon.The members of USW Local 1998had voted 87 per cent in favour ofa strike mandate if an agreementwas not reached with the university.Campus life, the university’scomputer network and registrationwould have seriously beendisrupted.Bell gouges customersAn Ontario judge ruled BellExpress Vu’s customer fee chargeto be illegal after a class action lawsuitclaimed that the $25 administrativefee amounted to a criminalrate of interest. Bell unsuccessfullyargued the fee covered costs resultingfrom an account remainingunpaid for two months. Canada’santi-usury provision in the CriminalCode prohibits interest ratesexceeding 60 per cent. The fee wasadditional to a monthly interestrate of two per cent charged onlate amounts.Tainted milk in China kills twoThe contaminated baby milkscandal in China swelled dramaticallyas Chinese officials discovered22 companies producedcontaminated milk. The babymilk powder was tainted with achemical that is used to makeplastics and caused two infantdeaths and 1,200 others to fallill. The chemical melamine wasadded to milk so it would appearto have more protein. The originalcontamination was thought to beisolated to one brand, but moreproducts have since been pulledoff the shelves.Grad students get fundingAlbertan graduate studentsreceived a financial boost with$11 million of funding for scholarshipsannounced by the provincialgovernment. The CitizenshipScholarship will give $2,000 to50 students depending on volunteerand community work. Therewill also be $1 million availablefor graduate students invited tonational and international researchconferences. Most of the fundingwill be going to the QueenElizabeth II graduate scholarshipprogram that will award 1,000students each year. The scholarshipswill increase to a maximumof $10,800 for a master’s studentand $15,000 for a PhD student overeight months.Vote everywhereThe U.S. presidential election isfast approaching and Americansliving abroad are encouraged tovote. Five members of DemocratsAbroad Canada came to the U of Con Monday help American citizensregister to vote in the Nov. 4 electionin a non-partisan campaign.Those eligible are encouraged toregister at least a month aheadof time. To register online, go tovotefromabroad.org.New high school contendedMayor Dave Bronconnier and citycouncil are being accused of a conflictof interest after they acceleratedthe construction of a new ErnestManning High School in the city’ssouthwest. The replacement highschool is necessary because theoriginal is being torn down to makeway for the West LRT leg. This decisionwill stall the construction of anew high school that was supposedto be built in the city’s northwest.The point of contention is the proposedErnest Manning replacementand the LRT leg are being built inBronconnier’s neighbourhood.Parents are concerned this change ofpriorities is to increase the mayor’sproperty value.

opinionsGAUNTLET OPINIONS SEPTEMBER 18.08 13Editor: Cam Cotton-O’Brien—opinions@thegauntlet.caPalin and genderWhat does being a mother have to do with it?Sara HansonGauntlet OpinionsIn her run for the Democrats’presidential nomination,senator Hillary Clinton made acommendable effort to change theface of American politics. WhileClinton’s bid for the nominationwas unsuccessful, her efforts to bringa uniquely female perspective to thetop of the political chain have not goneunrecognized. Even the Republicanshave acknowledged the potentialpolitical power of the female, evidentby their appointment of a first-timegovernor as John McCain’s runningmate. Despite being a Washingtonoutsider and having no foreign policyexperience, Governor Sarah Palin hassuccessfully stolen the mainstreammedia’s spotlight from Barack Obama.However, the media’s sudden shift ininterest should have many Americansquestioning how much of a non-issuethe “gender factor” really is when itcomes to the presidential race.Closer examination of Palin’srecord reveals that the Republican’sselection is nothing more than ashameful exploitation of the genderfactor in a desperate attempt towin the votes of those women whopreviously supported Clinton. Whatis even more disturbing is that Palinherself seems to be buying into themyth that gender is not an issue whenit comes to the campaign trail. In herThe proliferation of the Englishlanguage is easily observed in ourmodern world. Words such as “hi”and “okay” are used by people allover the globe, regardless of theirmother tongue. In eastern Europeancountries (like Bosnia) if you’re acrack-up you’re called “funny”and when you say thank you forsomething, the reply you get is “noproblem.” Obviously, globalizationis to blame, if blame need beassigned. English is now secure inits global status due to factors likefirst television interview with ABC’sCharles Gibson, Palin gracefullydanced around the question ofwhether or not she believed that itwas sexist to ask if a woman can raisea family and be the vice-presidentof the United States, quicklyresponding that she was fortunateenough to grow up in a family andcommunity where gender wasn’t anissue. But let’s face the truth: if Palinwasn’t a woman, she would neverbe asked such a question in the firstplace. Moreover, when comparedto the Democrats’ vice-presidentialcandidate Joe Biden, the genderedand essentially sexist connotationsof Palin’s nomination become evenmore apparent.When Biden was first sworn in as aDemocrat senator at the age of 29, hewas never questioned about his abilityto be a senator and a father to his twosmall children, despite the fact that hisfirst wife and third child had recentlybeen killed in a tragic car accident.In fact, Biden’s vice-presidentialcredentials have been boosted byclaims that he has always been afather first, senator second. So whileBiden’s ability to do double-duty hascast him as a hero, Palin’s ability tobe both a mother and second-incommandhas been approached bythe media with grave scepticism. Asthis blaring contradiction becomesvisible, we should be questioningwhy it is that Palin’s story has beenapproached through a gendered lensand what the consequences such anapproach has on the Americanpeople’s understanding of herthe Internet and free trade, but morerealistically, it’s because of the historicalcolonization of distant landsby our mother country, Britain.There are those who resist ourlanguage’s glorious dominion. TheDante Alighieri Society, a wellknowncultural institute in Italy,has asked Italian citizens to avoidwhat they call Anglitaliano, whichis the mixture of English words inevery-day Italian. According to a surveythe society conducted, the mostcommonly used words of Englishorigin are “il weekend,” “okay” and“cool.” In the Italian business sceneyou’ll hear words like “briefing” and“mission.”The Dante Alighieri Society claimsits survey shows that “Italians wanttheir language to receive morepolitical capabilities.When we understand that politicsbecomes gendered only when a womanenters the political arena, we begin tosee how little American society hasreally progressed when it comes tobreaking down the stereotypes ofgender. The blatant exploitationof gender myths for political gainis even more frightening thansociety’s unconscious consumptionand reproduction of these myths.Despite recently claiming that genderis a non-issue, upon accepting hernomination, Palin praised Clintonfor leaving “18 million cracks inthe highest, hardest glass ceilingin America,” thus alluding to theidea that she is determined to finishwhat Clinton started. By suggestingthat she is capable of winning thehearts and minds of woman whoinitially supported Clinton, Palinnot only undermines the ability ofAmerican women to make informedchoices based on the issues that aremost important to them, but alsoperpetuates another more frighteninggender myth — all women areessentially the same.At the end of the day, Palin’sability to balance raising a familywhile governing Alaska makesher no more qualified than anyother candidate. Her ability tocommunicate an understandingof the issues that are importantto Americans — the fate of theeconomy and the future of theIraq war — is what matters. Overthe course of the next six weeks,the gender factor will undoubtedlyrespect.” Its aim is to discourageItalian citizens from speakingAnglitaliano and to instead use theItalian equivalents — for example,fine settimana instead of “il weekend.”Is this really necessary in thisday and age?”Languages have been evolvingand changing for thousands ofyears. Even modern English is acompilation and mixture of olderlanguages like Latin, French andGerman. Just because English happensto be a relatively young upstartdoesn’t give cause for other nationsto ensure that their citizens don’tuse it in tandem with their own ohso-reputablelanguages. One Italianwoman who was interviewed by theBBC said, “People think it’s chic touse English words, but I don’t likeremain one of the primary issuesfor the mainstream media as wellas American voters. Come electionday, though, the American peoplewill be faced with making morethan one important decision. Inaddition to deciding what changeWhere’s the valve-less water waste preventer?Nenad TomanicGauntlet Opinionsin Washington should look likefrom an ideological standpoint,voters will also have a chance tostand up and decide whether genderreally has any political sway — ineither direction — when it comesto the future of their nation.it at all. It’s important to keep languageclean.”My dispute is not with her concernsabout protecting languageand culture. My concern is far morepersonal and self-righteous, with ahint of smugness. Does the act ofincorporating English words intoa foreign language really make thatlanguage unclean? The Italian woman’swords seem to suggest it and I,as an Anglophone, am wounded. Isthis so-called cleanliness really thatimportant? Should we all be strivingfor vernacular purity? Perhaps, as aresponse, we Anglophones should“cleanse” our language of all foreignintervention. We don’t haveto drink espressos anymore, insteadwe can drink “concentrated coffeebeverages.” Ladies won’t be wearingbras anymore — the word “bra”comes from the French word brassiere— instead, women can wear“breast-covering undergarments.”But purifying our language of allforeign words would be extremelyinconvenient. Hell, even takinga leak would become difficult,since we could no longer use theFrench term “toilet.” Instead we’llhave to call the toilet what it wasoriginally named, “the valve-lesswater waste preventer.” (On acurious side-note, the toilet wasinvented by a man named ThomasP. Crapper — no joke). Not only ismy faux proposal absurd, it’s probablyimpossible. In an age of integrationand connection, this separationof languages seems unnecessaryand backwards.

14 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET OPINIONSToo much to takeThe knock-out effects of theacademic pressure cookerLaura BardsleyTLF EditorWe all have gone through thesame steps to get where weare. We’ve exhausted everyresource to guarantee ourselves somesort of academic success includingpaying ridiculous amounts of moneyto some dude named Renert to teachus how to properly recall a coursewe’ve already completed. We’vepulled all-weekers and processed somuch information in such a short timethat our brains could spontaneouslycombust and it wouldn’t slow us down.But do we actually have it so bad? Theacademic pressure in Canada seemslike a sarcastic joke compared to thepressures pupils in other countriesface. Last week an article on the BBCwebsite reported that a primary schoolin southern Tanzania was closed forthree days because 18 of its pupilsfainted in one day. Angry parents,confused about the lack of medicalevidence to why their children faint,accused the teachers of bewitchingthe children. Although some medicalofficers are actually quoted sayingthat the phenomenon may be causedby a neurosis related to the local linkswith witchcraft, it seems fishy that theteachers, who earn their entire living offof their students, would bewitch themto faint. If the pressures of academicachievement in Tanzania are affectingprimary school girls under the age of16 this badly, Canadian studentsshould be able to properly deal withour “monstrous” pressures.Reports on the effects of academicpressures have not only surfaced insouthern Tanzania. At the IndianInstitute of Technology in Kanpur,the suicide of Ritika Toya Chatterjee,who was in her final-year, is the fifthsuicide accredited to failure of a finalexam and the seventh in three yearsfor the institute. Her death was also thesecond within just 45 days. Contraryto the case in southern Tanzania, someof the professors at this instituteeven warned their students that theywould fail and one civil engineeringprofessor actually sent out an email tothe students that contained the namesof students who were likely to fail theirexams. With these threats from theteachers, even the most competentstudents may doubt their abilities tothe point of suicidal stress.China is more well known foracademic pressure. Accordingto a report done by china.org.cn,12-year-old Tian Tian recentlycommitted suicide, leaving this notebehind:“Dear parents, I can hardly expressmy gratitude to you for bringing mesee Fainting, page 15

A floppy sicknessThe upsetting reversal of Elizabeth May’s debate banGAUNTLET OPINIONS SEPTEMBER 18.08 15Tyler WolfeGauntlet OpinionsThe consortium of televisionnetworks, which initiallyannounced that it would barthe Green Party’s Elizabeth May frompartaking in the televised debates priorto the October federal election onlyto “flip-flop” and cave to mountingpublic outcry, should be ashamed ofitself. The move will undermine thefamiliarity of the current politicallandscape in Canada. While somewill insist that Canadian politics isstale (especially when contrasted tothe excitement south of the border)and in need of an infusion of newideas and new personalities, some ofus are less welcome to change. Do wereally want to discuss the Greens’ ideason the environment or a new StudentLoan and Bursary Program in whichthe Greens’ would forgive 50 per centof student debt after completing yourdegree? I, for one, fail to see wherethese issues fit into the comfortablepredictability from which the othermajor parties refuse to stray.Perhaps I’m being too harsh on theconsortium. After all, they were simplyallowing the other parties to dictate theterms for the debates. One can hardlyblame the poor, defenceless mediaconsortium when Stephen Harper andJack Layton threatened to boycott thedebates if the Greens were allowed toparticipate. That these two caved andflip-flopped has largely been ignoredby the mainstream media. I thought toflip-flop was tantamount to shootingoneself in one’s political foot — yet,there has been very little criticism oftheir reversals.Layton, at least, gave an excuse fordoing so, citing the distraction theissue had become after being heckledat NDP gatherings in Ontario. Harperon the other hand, has no excuse.Sticking by his original claim thatMay should be denied participation,he reconsidered his boycott solelydue to peer pressure. According tothe CBC, Harper’s communicationmanager acknowledged that theConservatives still do not think Mayshould be involved, but concededthat they would “not stand alone”after Layton abandoned the issue.Not stand alone? What happened toprinciple, to standing up for one’s (lessthan democratic) beliefs? This sort ofFainting, continued from page 14up in the past 12 years. But I feelunder such pressure. There is toomuch homework for me. I had nochoice but to die. Last words fromyour daughter.”At 12-years-old, academicpressure had already taken asickly hold on this adolescentmind. Tian isn’t alone. Recentlya boy at a junior middle schooljumped off a building, leavingbehind an unfinished test, whileanother boy, 16, killed his motherand said his father would be his nexttarget. Instead of aiming to finishtheir homework before going tocaving to peer-pressure reminds me ofmy own junior high days: “Hey Tyler,let’s go to your place at lunch, drinkyour dad’s whiskey and light fires inyour backyard with gasoline.”“Hmm, I dunno guys...”“Come on, it’ll be fun.”“Okay, I guess...”In hindsight, I was correct in myoriginal suspicion of the plan andregretted caving. Perhaps Harperwill have similar regrets if May’sinclusion results in disgruntledformer Progressive Conservativesvoting Green — perhaps even costingHarper his long sought majority.This is not the first time that theGreens have attempted to get intothe debate and been turned down,so why the flip-flop this time? Sure,they are polling around 10 per centnationally — marginally ahead of theBloc Québécois — but is this reallyenough to be included in a TV debatein a democratic country like Canada?Perhaps it’s because the Green Partyhas an MP in Parliament for the firsttime. But the Greens have not hadsomeone elected to the House — BlairWilson, an Independent who joinedthe Greens weeks ago, was originallyelected as a Liberal. Crossing the floor,as it is known among we politicos, ishockey practice and later a moviewith the family, these childrenend up dead on the ground whiletheir unfinished studies float downbeside them.When I tried searching “academicpressures in Canada and NorthAmerica,” I wasn’t surprised thata disdained manoeuvre and shouldnot be recognized. Well, except forthe examples of David Emerson,Garth Turner, Belinda Stronach,Jean Lapierre, Scott Brison and LucienBouchard to name a few.By now, the astute reader may havepicked up on some contradictions inthis piece, so perhaps I should comeclean: I have a vested personal interestin this issue. More than the argumentsabove, the reason I am opposed tothe unprecedented flip-flop by theconsortium to include May is thatit immediately made obsolete andirrelevant the piece I had writtenone of the first results is a Yahooanswer on the subject, “WouldAmerica be better off if kids wereput under the academic pressurecommon in Asian countries?” We’rejust fine the way we are, as long aswe learn to appreciate it. Yes, wehave our pressures, but they do notcondemning their initial decision toexclude her. Not even the Gauntletwould publish something so out ofdate. I, an unpaid volunteer, literallyspent hours of my precious free timewriting a masterpiece of an editorial,only to have the decision reversedbefore you fine readers could see it. So,while the historic decision to allow theGreen Party to participate is positivefor our political system and in May’sown words, shows that democracy is“alive and well in Canada,” it robbedme of several hours of my time.And for that, I cannot forgive thistreacherous flip-flop.even begin to compare with whatother kids face. As it’s acceptableto scrape by high school with aD-average, while being offered somany possibilities of upgradingand tutorials, our complaints aremore of a way to flaunt how easywe have it.

16 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET OPINIONSA crusty ass carbon taxThe Liberals’ inane search for a clean energy policyJesse G. HamonicRight on the moneyStephane Dion’s Green Shiftproposal may not only costhim his job, but could also beone of the worst ideas ever developedby the Liberal Party of Canada.Over the last year, the leader ofthe Liberals Stephane Dion hascreated a carbon tax plan entitledGreen Shift. At the end of the process,they have presented one of themost involved election platforms inrecent history. This Green Shift hasbecome so complicated and complexthat even Dion himself struggles toexplain the plan.After taking the initiative in cre-ating the Internet (or so he claims)and acting as vice president, Al Gorebrought the world’s attention to asmall phenomenon you may haveheard of: global warming. In orderto tackle this supposed problem, Dionhas decided to use taxes as a vehicleto lower carbon emissions. Dionbelieves people will shift from highto low levels of energy consumptionif he increases taxes on high-energyconsuming activities.Dion’s carbon tax will be imposedon all Canadians, rich and pooralike — 11.3 cents a liter for gas,$1.09 on a tank of propane, andtaxes on almost every other energyproduct. At first glance, this doesn’tseem too harmful. However, allenergy goods are major inputs forthe entire economy. Consequently,the carbon tax would increase priceson everything: food, shelter, transportation,et cetera.Increasing prices onhigh carbon emittingproducts is the mainidea behind a carbon tax,but if all prices increase,no shifting will occur.Even the cleanest itemslike organic vegetableswill be subject to a carbontax — they must beshipped to the grocerystore somehow. As such,the Green Shift will put agigantic tax on everything,far from the original goalof taxing only carbonemissions.Further, the explicittax individuals will pay isso little that there will benegligible changes in behavior. It isinconceivable that people will forgohaving a BBQ because of a $1 tax ona propane tank or avoid driving afterpaying an extra $4 per tank of gas.Empirically, over the last fouryears, the price of gas has increaseddramatically, but there have been onlyminute changes in the amount of gasconsumption. Energy is necessaryfor survival. As a result, precipitousprice increases would be required toalter people’s consumption patterns.Hardly the small yet still damagingtaxes proposed in the Green Shift.In all fairness, Dion does promiseto return the revenues to citizens inthe form of tax cuts. But governmentspromised to cancel the GST, end hallwaymedicine and conveniently brokemany other promises. Excuse me forbeing cynical.The Liberal’s Green Shift is environmentallyfutile and politically dense.If one wants to support a partywhich is serious about the environment,then they must look at the NDPor the Green Party. They have planswith far more onerous carbon taxesand carbon trading schemes which,unlike the Green Shift, may actuallyreduce emissions. Although theirplans will punish the economy, atleast they accomplish what they setout to do.It must be very difficult for Liberalvolunteers to knock on doors andsay, “Hi, my name is (insert Liberalvolunteer’s name here) and I want toencourage you to vote for StephaneDion. In case you are not aware,he wants to increase taxes, but notquite high enough to actually reduceemissions.” Sounds like a pretty toughscript.Generally, party policies are createdto attract public support. If Dion iswondering how campaigns highlightingnew taxes have fared in thepast, perhaps he should talk to BrianMulroney. His popularity level plummetedwhen he introduced the GST in1991. The Progressive Conservativesdropped from a strong majority toonly three seats in the 1993 GeneralElection.It is mesmerizing, formerly sucha smart political party, one that hasdominated the halls of governmentin recent memory, now seems solost. With the Green Shift being theLiberals’ keystone policy, those whohave strong convictions about theenvironment may shift to partiesoffering plans than can actuallyaccomplish those goals, the NDPand Greens. Others who put theenvironment on a lower prioritylevel might go to the Conservatives.In attempting to create a policyframework to please everyone, Dionmight have accidentally concoctedthe antithesis.Palin and the newAmerican leadershipCam Cotton-O’BrienPidgeon Talk“We’re dedicated to the propositionthat all people are created equal andendowed by our creator with inalienablerights. No country ever had agreater cause than that.”– John McCain“Al-Qaeda terrorists still plan toinflict catastrophic harm on Americaand he [Obama] is worried that someonewon’t read them their rights.”– Sarah PalinThese two obviously contradictorystatements by the Republicanpresidential ticket were made within24 hours of one another at the party’sconvention two weeks ago. The glaringinconsistency wasn’t scrutinized,though, and became lost in the intellectualwasteland of American presidentialpolitics — where somethingso minor as the treatment of humanbeings couldn’t possibly attract theattention of the vultures. Yet, this isone of the most important issues thecampaign could possibly be about.In his address to the DemocraticNational Convention the weekprior, President Bill Clinton statedthat there were two issues of paramountimportance in this election:“to rebuild the American dream andrestore American leadership in theworld.” In order to do so, the U.S.must assert not only its military andcultural leadership, but its moral aswell. Clearly, how the country choosesto treat its prisoners has tremendousimplications for this.It is interesting to note that Palin,making such a comment — whichsuggests she doesn’t have too muchconcern for how prisoners are treated— does so while on the same ballotas the only Republican candidatewho consistently rejected the use oftorture throughout the primaries.That said, this curiosity is not theheart of the issue. Rather, the pointthat McCain made in his speech is.Disregarding the rights of perceivedenemies erodes the philosophic foundationupon which the U.S. is erected.Surely there can be no clearer andmore alarming indication that thingshave gone terribly wrong with the U.S.political situation than the fact thatsuch a statement — the direct antithesisof the American ideal — canfind its way into a vice-presidentialcandidate’s speech.In order for the U.S. to reassert itselfas a respected world leader, it must goback to its beginning and resurrectits ideals.

Slammin’ elementsThe LHC may answer a lot of questionsDaniel PaganGauntlet OpinionsLast week, physicists, theologians,doomsayers and observers held theirbreath as switches were turned on tofire a laser through the Large Hadron Colliderto see if everything was ready for the “bigtest” in October. The LHC crashes particlesinto each other to see inside them. This hadsome people screaming like they were onfire and even resulted in a lawsuit being filedin Hawaii. Science fiction writers have beenworking furiously, like monkeys dosed withLSD, coming up with nightmarish scenariosabout the LHC destroying the world. A girl inIndia even killed herself due to nightmaresabout a LHC-induced disaster. Despite allthe fear-mongering and the lawsuit, thereis nothing to fear from the LHC. Instead, weshould celebrate the fact that we may be ableto solve the mysteries of particle physics andfind out why the Big Bang occurred in thefirst place.There are still unanswered questions thathave been puzzling physicists since Newtongot bonked on his head by an apple. Wheredoes mass come from and how did it get createdin the first place? Why do particles weigh theamount they do and why do some not have anymass? What is the universe made of and whatis dark matter? Finally, what was the Big Banglike, why did it take place and how did it createthe universe? With the LHC, scientists have atool to try and find some answers.Some physicists believe that the answer maylie in the elusive Higgs boson particle, theorizedin 1964. Known as the God Particle, it may beresponsible for matter having mass and for thecreation of matter. The catch is that it has neverbeen observed. Physicists hope the LHC will beable to find it by smashing particles togetherat incredible speeds and studying what thisproduces. Atoms have strong bonds and releasea large amount of energy in their destruction— like a nuclear explosion. The LHC allowsscientists to do this.Given the complex nature of the LHC, it isunderstandable that people fear its awesomepowers. But Martin Rees, an English astrophysictand President of the Royal Society of Londonfor the Improvement of Natural Knowledge,estimates that the probability of the LHC causinga global catastrophe is one in 50 million. Healso said he wouldn’t lose any sleep over it andtrusts the scientists who built it. The EuropeanOrganization for Nuclear Research, known asCERN, did two reviews and couldn’t find anyproblems. The American PhysicalSociety, the second largestorganization of physicists,concluded the samething. A lawsuit t ostop the LHCexperimentw a srejectedwhen thejudge couldfind no basisfor concernsabout the LHC.Particle acceleratorsare common and many people haveone in their house — a microwave oven, cathoderay tube TV or computer monitor. They allaccelerate charged particles in vacuums witha high voltage — same principles, differentmachines and different scales.It has been suggested that the LHC couldproduce micro-black holes that would swallowup the Earth. This claim has been dismissed asimprobable. To make micro-black holes, therewould need to be magnitudes more energythan can be produced in particle acceleratorslike the LHC. We don’t yet have any methodto produce energy powerful enough. StephenHawking noted that a powerful hydrogenbomb using all the deuterium in all the wateron Earth could create a black hole, but thereis the question of if creating this bomb wouldwork at all. After creation, any collisionproduct would be unstable and immediatelydisintegrate — that is, the black hole wouldswallow itself after creation. Also, theGAUNTLET OPINIONS SEPTEMBER 18.08 17collisions seenin particle acceleratorshappen all the time in nature such as inthe Sun with its nuclear explosions andthe atmosphere, where cosmic ray particlescollide with each other. The high frequencyof these collisions and our continuedexistence makes the LHC disaster worryseem insignificant.Many interesting discoveries in sciencecome up when prevailing theories areproven incorrect, like Einstein’s theory ofrelativity and our modern understanding ofthe atomic structure. If the LHC experimentfinds no Higgs boson, many physics theorieswill be re-written. The LHC is an impressivehuman invention and we should celebrate thatachievement instead of cowering in fear. Weshould look at what the LHC does and how itmay answer the big questions. Regarding theEarth’s destruction, we’ll see what happenswhen the first high-energy collisions takeplace Oct. 21.

18 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET OPINIONSDictating culture to the massesJordyn MarcellusPopinionsWe’re an entertainmentjunky culture. Froma young age we getaddicted to injecting ourselves full ofpop fluff, then spend our time lookingfor the next big fix. Curmudgeons onthe right bemoan the lack of moralsand values in society while curmudgeonson the left bitch about how thisNintendo generation is unwilling toget off their asses to affect any meaningfulsocial change.Television executives just saythat they’re providing what thepublic wants. Shows like Wipeout,American Gladiators and From Geesto Gents are just entertainment. Sincecapitalism is all about the quest forthe bottom line, it’s not the executivesfault for unleashing Flava Flavon womankind — that’s what thepeople want.This of argument hinges on theidea that pop culture is a reflectionof modern society. That was nevertrue. It dictates what people want andhow they view themselves throughthe creation of archetypical rolesthat both men and women desireto fill because that’s all that we haveleft. We’re so disconnected from oursocial sphere that we’re referring topop culture to see what life shouldbe like. More often than not, it onlypresents an idealized image that wecan never achieve.In the ’50s and ’60s, shows likeThe Brady Bunch and Leave It toBeaver were idealized versions ofsuburban happiness. All the conflictwould inevitably be wrapped up in aneat little 22-minute tale, often witha moral. Carol and Mike Brady neverhad any long-simmering tension thatwould eventually blow up and dividethe family for weeks on end. The onlylong-term troubles the family seemedto have were between Greg Brady andthat goddamned cursed Tiki Idol.Millions of kids were broughtup on this pablum. When you’reyoung, it seems like the perfect life.Everything is hunky dory and no oneis addicted to drugs, porn or gambling.Even when you are, with a littleperseverance and a stern talking tofrom Danny Tanner and Uncle Jesse,life will return to normal. That’s whatpeople come to expect as reality andwhat they aspire their own parentingstyles to be like.Of course, no child is as goodnaturedas DJ or Steph Tanner.Teenagers are belligerent assholes.Parents cheat on one another. TheKinsey Reports suggested between25 to 50 per cent of men and around25 per cent of women, will cheat ontheir partner once in a lifetime. Mosttelevision sitcoms don’t even attemptto broach the difficult questions ofextra-marital affairs and when theydo, it’s only for an episode or two. Inall forms of media, love is this beautifulthing that, as Joe Cocker sings“lifts us up where we belong.”The modern idea of love hasentered in the era of the bawdyHarlequin romance novel. Rightor wrong, a lot of men believe theyhave to become muscle-bound lunkheadswith a rockin’ bod to get a girl.Some women, too, desire to be sweptoff their feet by John Cusack’s characterin Say Anything. Guys spend yearslearning guitar to be like the latestindie songwriter flavour of the week— and then incessantly cover BrightEyes or Dashboard Confessional.We want to live our lives like ourpop culture heroes because we don’tknow who else to model ourselvesafter. These roles define what is loveableand idealize a form of love.see Popinion, page 21

Sex sellsSharla SwansonA Space of Our OwnIam not sure what upsets me more,the Back Alley advertisementon the back cover of the 2008University of Calgary agenda or thesupport of women for the way femalesexuality is portrayed in advertising.First of all, without question, the ad isoffensive. It features a topless woman,photographed from behind andacross her back is an advertisementfor the Back Alley Saturday NightSex Party. The ad demonstrates thatexploiting a woman’s sexuality forcommercial reasons has becomecommon-place. Marketing 101 tellsus that sex sells and that is clearlytrue. My problem is that women haveallowed their sexuality to be stuffed inthe g-string of money-hungry marketersand then claim it actually givesthem power because they have somesort of control over it, that it is nowdone on their own terms.A lot of women have bought intothe idea that their sexuality is theirmost valuable characteristic, ortheir most powerful tool, and thatthey are using it on their own terms.The portrayal of women in advertisingbecomes less offensive because awoman feels that she is controllingsome part of it whether that be herown personal involvement, her sensitivityto it or the extent to whichshe buys into sex being used to herbenefit. However, when we are talkingabout sex being a powerful tool, weare asserting that it is powerful againstmen. Therefore, we are admitting thatshe is in some sort of battle wherethere is a winner and a loser. If awoman’s sexuality is her most powerfultool, what is she using it for?Obviously, sexuality is usedto get ahead in her career, tomake more money, to getwhat she wants from menand to hold that attentionlong enough to be valued forother characteristics, the onesthat really matter.A woman’s sexuality holds powerbecause the most effective way toget a man’s attention is to openlyflaunt it. In this case, who reallyBut who wieldsthe power?holds the power? Is a woman actuallywielding power because she canconvince a man to notice and desireher sexually and then withhold sex?If so, a woman is powerful becauseshe is a cocktease.Or do the men hold the powerbecause only women who are willingto exploit their sexuality get noticed?It is not really power if it is givento you by those you intend to use itagainst. In the end, a woman doesnot control her sexuality as much asshe believes. Men have defined whatis attractive about female sexuality— tits and ass — but it is women whovalidate that definition by willinglydisplaying them. The kicker is that awoman will do this believing that sheis experiencing her sexuality on herown terms. She says experiencing, Isay exploiting.This week at the Women’s Resource Centre:Thursday: Yoga 10–11 a.m. in the prayer spaceFriday: Potential volunteer open house 12–3 p.m.Monday: Knitting circle 12–1 p.m.Tuesday: Women’s Global Voices Event12:15–1:45 p.m.Wednesday: Belly dance workshop 12–1 p.m.Where to fi nd us: MH 318 – 3rd fl oor,up the stairs from the DenPhone: 403-220-8551E-mail: women@ucalgary.caWebsite: ucalgary.ca/womenGAUNTLET OPINIONS SEPTEMBER 18.08 19

20 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET OPINIONSSilencing the criticsMalaysia’s recent rash of political arrestsMia OrtizGauntlet OpinionsThere’s a little something that’sbeen brewing in the countryof Malaysia quite recentlyand one is sorry to admit that themost current issue of concern hasnot been human trafficking.The last week has seen disturbingnews for the Southeast Asian country:the seemingly democratic governmentof Malaysia, under its existing PrimeMinister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi,has gone on to arrest three peopleunder the country’s Internal SecurityAct. The ISA is a law that enables thegovernment to arrest and detain anindividual indefinitely without a trial.This alone raises huge concerns, butwhat’s astonishing about the ISA wasits recent bout of arrestees: Raja PetraKamarudin, editor of online news blogMalaysia Today, Tan Hoon Cheng, areporter for Chinese newspaper SinChew Daily and Teresa Kok, one ofthe leaders in the Malay DemocratAction Party.Kamarudin was detained afterreporting on rumours connectingpolitical leaders andtheir affiliations inthe highly scandalized2006 murder of theMalaysian model/translator AltantuyaShaariibuu. Chengwas arrested forreporting racistcomments uttered byDatuk Ahmad Ismail, a deputy chiefof Malaysia’s largest political party, theUnited Malays National Organization.Kok, a lawmaker for the oppositionDemocrat Action Party, was accusedby an influential newspaper of signing apetition in which a mosque in the townof Puchong was ordered to “turn downthe volume” when participating in thereligious discussions, or ceramah, thatfollowed traditional Islamic prayers.Two writers and a politician. Threepeople whose work needs to beprotected by freedom of speech. Threepeople relying on the right to presentanti-government stances. Is it thenby pure coincidence all three arreststook place while the government isstriving to recover from the disastrouselection results of March 2008? Sincethen, the otherwise politically securecountry has experienced one of itsworst episodes of political instabilitysince the 1998 elections.The arrests of Kamarudin, Chengand Kok are not at all justified.Although Cheng was only detainedfor a day under the ISA, the factremains Cheng was prosecuted foropenly criticizing an acting politician.Ismail himself has not denied theseclaims and has been suspendedfrom the UMNO because of his racistintonations regarding Malaysia’sChinese population. In order to havea functioning democracy, there needsto be a free press to critique it. Chengdid nothing wrong by informingthe public of a faulty politician, sheshould not be arrested for makingthe public aware.Kamarudin, as well, did nothingwrong. The Internet is what many terma free information source, akin to aninternational bulletinboard — it is up to thereader’s discretion todiscern the truth fromthe mass of content, aswith any book or TVshow. If Kamarudinfelt there was ahidden conspiracybetween the murderof Shaariibuu and acting governmentofficials, it is his prerogative todistribute these ideas.The arrest of Kok is ridiculous.It seems she might not have signedthe petition upon which her arrest ishinged. Kok has alleged she had noinvolvement in the petition whatsoeveror its signatories and the mosque inquestion has affirmed Kok had noparticipation in presenting or signingthe petition.After this discussion, one solitaryquestion arises: what the hell is goingon? Apprehensive allegations postedon a news blog website, publishedreports of racial comments — these arenot just the prohibited actions of thepeople of a democratic government,they are obligatory to keep it incheck. As Edward R. Murrow oncesaid, “A nation of sheep will begeta government of wolves.”All parties under democraticrule need to understand this. Asfor Kok, her detainment under theISA is on the table as well — if theaccusations concerning her actionshave been nullified, why is thewoman still in detainment? Whatis the real reason the government ofMalaysia has decided, at this momentwhere its position in power is at itsweakest, to bag two people in mediathat are promoting anti-governmentfeeling and one prominent memberof the opposition party who has noconclusive evidence supporting thecharges against her?Come next election, one has thefeeling that Malaysia will have a newprime minister.

SU View:SU offers free weeklyevents and entertainmentPopinion, cont’d from pg. 18For people without any self-confidenceor who are confused abouttheir place in the world, when they areconstantly berated with these imagesthe obvious answer is to adopt themand internalize them. Through thatadoption of the role, people becomethe stereotype. There’s far too manymen who think the only way to attractwomen is to be a chest-puffed-out,over-confident popped-collareddouchebag. Many women think thatmen will never like them unless theyplay down their intelligence. This isn’talways the case, but when media tellsthe successes of pick-up artists anddevotes shows to them — like VH1’sThe Pick-Up Artist — men actuallybelieve this will work all the time. Butthe shows are edited to make themGAUNTLET OPINIONS SEPTEMBER 18.08 21seem more successful than theyreally are. Magazines like Cosmo sellan entire lifestyle of vague bedroomsubmission and un-intellectualism forwomen — all to ensure that a man’sego isn’t threatened in the boudoir.People adopt these roles in anattempt to be part of a group, thenaccept them as normal. Through theprocess of trying to fit in, there’s anover-exaggeration and then lapse intoself-parody — like the uncool momtrying to fit in with her daughter ata Jonas Brothers concert.Luke ValentineVP EventsAhhhh . . . the only thingbetter than the taste of thatinaugural morning coffeefollowing a long weekend is the tasteof a FREE morning coffee providedby your Students’ Union. As I’m sittinghere, sipping on my free cup ofEarl Grey and watching all thoseoblivious students in that horrendousqueue for Tim Hortons,I wonder: What is the best way totell undergraduates about MundaneMondays?“What’s Mundane Mondays,Luke?” I hear you think with ablank stare.“It’s free coffee. Free tea. Free newspapers!”I respond, vehemently.Mundane Mondays is a chance toease into the long week ahead andjump-start your system into thelearning mode.“That’s all good, Luke, but I needmy coffee to go,” you say.“Well, that’s why we have free travelmugs for you,” I auspiciously reply,“provided by the Students’ UnionSustainability Board.”Every Monday morning in ThatEmpty Space from 9 to 11, pull upa ’70s scarlet red sofa, grab a coffee,and relax before the barrage of lecturesbegin.“So I’ve got my free mug, Luke, butmy eyes are itching for stimulation.What should I do?”“It’s a good thing you asked! Letme explain . . .”Every Monday night your Students’Union holds Cinemania in ICT 102.included an average 11 per cent tip.Um . . . you do realize that the standardis 15 per cent, right? And that mostservers (who make minimum wage)tip out up to six or seven per cent oftheir sales — whether they get tippedor not — to other restaurant staff?So basically, you left your girls (andboys!) a paltry five per cent. Aftersix of them gave you free rounds,“What’s Cinemania?”“It’s FREE movie night! Bring adate, bring a friend or bring yourMom. You can also grab someunlimited popcorn for $2.”Presented by the events commission,you can watch movies like GetSmart, The Chronicles of Narnia andZombie Strippers all for the low costof zero dollars.“Okay okay, you’ve satisfied myoptical needs, Luke, but what aboutmy ears?”“You’ve not heard of That EmptySpace?” I ask.That Empty Space is a FREE musicvenue every Friday. Bands like HeyOcean, Secret Broadcast and Babes forBreasts are coming this year. Don’tforget to bring your ID though, you’regoing to need it for that late afternoonStrongbow.“That’s all good Luke, but I’ve neverheard of those bands. What sort ofmusic is it?”“Don’t worry! The idea behindThat Empty Space is to discovernew bands. If you’d like to listento some music beforehand,then check out the SU’s website,www.su.ucalgary.ca.Whether you’re into music, moviesor coffee, the SU is here for you.“Thanks Luke. You’ve openedmy eyes to a new world of FREE!”you say.“You’re more than welcome . . .Andrea? Joey? Mark? . . . What isyour name by the way?”That’s all folks for one moreweek.Luke can be reached atsuvpeve@ucalgary.caThe SU View and its corresponding headline areprovided by the Students’ Union and publishedwithout Gauntlet editorial revision.Letter, continued from page 4to boot — so I doubt you can claim“bad service.”I’ve been a “starving student,” andfor most of that duration, I was alsoa server. Shame on you for shortingsomeone’s tuition savings, and doubleshame for bragging about it in theGauntlet.Heather Stoutenburg

22 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLETEditors: Ryan Pike, Christian Louden & Ændrew Rininsland—ap@gauntlet.ucalgary.caacademic probationHow to make your own clubA Gauntlet guide to fun and profit*At the beginning of each semester the fine folks at the Students’ Union host Clubs Week, a chance for the unwashed masses to get15 per cent discounts at the Den by joining a club. After roaming the rows of clubs, the Gauntlet’s Academic Probation sectiondecided that none of the clubs were quite what they were looking for. So they decided to form their own club. A club dedicated to theone cause that they could all agree on: proving Sir Charles Darwin’s survivalist theory of evolution correct through releasing harmfulamphibious animals into ecosystems to test their mettle. Thus, the Society for the Introduction of Harmful Amphibious Species IntoDelicate Ecosystems (SIHASIDE) was born. Its inaugural mission? To release bullfrogs into Kananaskis Country.The saga began as many do: with rigorous paperwork. The SU’s websitehas all the forms needed to form a club, as well as foolproof instructionson how to get things started. Once our forms were fi lled out, we sent themoff to the SU and headed off to the pet store to begin our mission.We learned, through perusing a few pet stores, that it is diffi cult to fi nd abullfrog in Calgary. However, we did locate a suitable specimen. Not wantingto force our new friend to do anything against his will, we asked him ifhe was cool with exploring Canada’s wilderness. He indicated he was.* — Not a guarantee.Now that we had a bullfrog, our teamTrans-Canada Highway for the drive twe were bored enough to do dangerofrog and dangle him from the moving

GAUNTLET ACADEMIC PROBATION SEPTEMBER 18.08 23THE SAGACONCLUDESON PAGE 24!After shedding tears for Señor Hoppington, we released him. Like mostparents, we wondered if we did enough to prepare him for the world, particularlyfor the various animals in the area that were likely to eat him. Butultimately it was decided that we were hungry, so we headed for home— after a brief stopover at the casino beside the highway.Our maverick adventurers fi nally arrived in beautiful Kananaskis Country.We introduced Señor Hoppington, as he came to be named during thehour-long drive, to his new home. The hardest part was saying goodbye.hopped into a car and headed to theo the mountains. Within 10 minutes,us things like play catch with ourcar. He didn’t seem to mind.

24 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET ACADEMIC PROBATIONAfter arriving back in town, we visited SU Vice President Operations andFinance Alex Judd to see if our club had been sanctioned......unfortunately, she gave us some bad news.“I would say that the mandate of this club violates federal law,” Juddexplained. “It’s against SU by-laws to violate federal laws.”Devastated, we retreated to the Den to drown our sorrows and regroup.In the end, Clubs Week cameand went without our clubgetting sanctioned.However, there are plenty offi ne clubs that are suitable foryou, as long as your interestsdon’t involve violating federallaw — ranging from politicalparties and academic-mindedgroups to fraternities and moreinterest-based groups like theVideo Game Club.Most clubs offer offi ce space,regular events and, mostimportantly, the Clubs Card,which nets the holder a15 per cent discount at theDen on Tuesday nights. Mostclubs charge a meagre $5 feefor these benefi ts.To check out existing clubs,head to the offi cial SU websiteat www.su.ucalgary.ca andclick on “Clubs.” To createyour own, the SU website hasall the forms you need. Allthat’s required for sanctioningis 20 people, two-thirdsof them students, and a writtenconstitution that doesn’tviolate federal law. Good luckand happy clubbing!The members of the Society forIntroduction of Harmful AmphibiousSpecies Into Delicate Ecosystems wereRyan Pike, Cam Cotton-O’Brien, JonRoe, Christian Louden, Paul Baker andAlistair Starke.

sportsGAUNTLET SEPTEMBER 18.08 25Editor: Brad Halasz—sports@gauntlet.ucalgary.caFumbles, flags and follies, oh my!Dinos clinch first ever Kickoff win in sloppy styleDINOS17Chris PedersenGauntlet SportsvsBEARS11foot o b a l lThe University of Calgary Dinosfootball squad kicked theirKickoff losing habit Saturdayas they defeated the University ofAlberta Golden Bears 17–11 in frontof 3,108 fans at McMahon Stadium.The strong turnout witnessed anuneventful turnover- and penaltyfilledgame. Both teams combinedfor 14 turnovers and 206 yards inpenalties. Despite the mistakes, theDinos managed to move into a fourwaytie for first place in the CanadaWest standings.Although the game was less-thanprettyand included several miscuesby the sloppy offence, Dinos headcoach Blake Nill explained that a winis a win, despite how they played.“It wasn’t just turnovers [thathurt our offence], it was alsopenalties,” he said. “We’re not thekind of offence that can play froma hole. So there is no doubt [turnoversand penalties] took away allour momentum. It’s not a prettywin, but it’s a win and one thatwe’ll take right now and hopefullyget better.”The game became a defensiveshow from the onset as the Dinosintercepted throws from Bearsquarterback Joe Orlics twice inthe first half and both teams hadthree fumbles apiece by the break.Though the teams combined forover 300 yards in the first half,neither team could get into theend zone. Every time the offencetried to move the ball they wouldinevitably turn it over, snuffing outpromising drives.Nill said that the turnovers werea result of the youth on the field.“There is no question, [when]you have four first-year quarterbacks,that’s a recipe for disaster,”he said. “Our tailback, he’s carriedthe ball a little bit, but he’s not afive-year veteran.”By the end of the first half, thetwo teams combined for a lessthan-impressiveone point, withthe Dinos benefitting from an AaronIfield single off a missed 35-yard fieldgoal at the 12:52 mark of the secondquarter.The game continued after halftimein much the same way untilthe six-minute mark of the thirdquarter when kicker Hugh O’Neillbooted a 37-yard field goal to givethe Bears a 3–1 lead.The Dinos found a spark ofoffence in the third quarter whenrunning back Matt Walter took ahandoff and ran 69 yards from theCalgary 35. But once again, the drivehalted as the Bears’ defence held onthe goal line and forced the Dinos“It’s not a pretty win, but it’s awin and one that we’ll takeright now.”-Blake Nill,Dinos head coachYou take the ball. No, you take it. Turnovers plagued the Dinos’ Kickoff game last weekend, but coach Nill says a win is a win.to turn the ball over on downs.The fourth quarter providedsome mild excitement, producingtwo touchdowns, two Dinos fieldgoals, numerous turnovers andseveral more penalties. The Dinosdefence stepped up, interceptingthe Bears four times, once for atouchdown.Minutes into the fourth quarter,Orlics dropped back to pass andthrew a perfect touchdown strike.Unfortunately, it was to the wrongteam as Dinos defensive back BrentFerguson intercepted the ball andran it back 52 yards for the team’sonly touchdown of the day. Thisput the Dinos up 14–3 and fromthere they never looked back.Ferguson said the touchdownwas important for the Dinos,especially as the offence was notable to move the ball.“[They’re] important pointswe put on the board,” he said. “Itwas a defensive battle. Anything toget on the board helped out, so itwas a good play. I was glad I couldcontribute.”Ferguson tied a University ofCalgary record for most individualinterceptions with three andreceived a Canada West Player ofthe Week nod for his efforts.Geoff MacIntosh/the GauntletLate in the game the Bears scoredthe only offensive touchdown of theday and converted for two points tobring the score to 14–11. Ifield addeda late field goal allowing the Dinosto escape with a 17–11 win.The Dinos play next week againstthe 2–1 Simon Fraser Clan inBurnaby, B.C.Ferguson is optimistic about thematchup.“[We] just need to keep doingwhat we’ve been practicing andtrusting that the guy next to you isgoing to get the job done,” he said.“Hopefully it will turn out like it didtoday with a ‘W’.”

26 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET SPORTSMen’s hockey team prepares for start of seasonDINOS6Brad HalaszSports EditorThe University of CalgaryDinos men’s hockey teamcombined for 12 goals intwo exhibition games last weekend,while their opponents managedonly four.Hockey fans got their firstglimpse of the 2008–09 incarnationof the Dinos when the teambeat the University of LethbridgeBrad HalaszSports Editorvs‘HORNS3men’s hockeyDINOS1vsHUSKIES2men’s soccerc They are young, they are competitive,they are naïve.That’s the message University ofCalgary men’s soccer coach AndyGibbs sent after his team failed toclinch their first win of the seasonlast weekend.“We’re getting killed on mistakesand we are not creatingPronghorns 6–3 at Father DavidBauer Arena.The game was plagued with penaltiesfrom the start and the playlacked flow — evidence that bothteams were still looking for theirgroove after the summer off.“We took way too many penalties,I thought the referees werea bit sensitive, but it’s the beginningof the year,” said Dinos headcoach Scott Atkinson. “We tookfour or five lazy shifts and gaveup three goals, so I wasn’t happywith that. I thought we shouldhave won that game six or eightto nothing.”The Dinos scored early in thefirst period and kept the lead forthe entire game, but because ofseveral undisciplined penalties,Dinos soccer team learns to deal with growing painsenough opportunities,” he said.Gibbs believed a win was withintheir grasp in the 2–1 loss to theUniversity of SaskatchewanHuskies, but ultimately, inexperiencecost them as star midfielderJosh Northey capitalized on theDinos’ shortcomings.“We made two stupid mistakeson their best player,” saidGibbs.The Dinos found the net firstwith a goal from Sean Makins inthe 53rd minute, but just a halfminute later, the Huskies offencemade a mad dash to the Dinos’net, giving Northey his first goalof the game.Midway through the secondsee men’s soccer, page 27the Pronghorns were able to stayclose behind, never letting theirdeficit grow to more than threegoals.“We’re learning — when we havepenalties that are associated withjust talking and yapping, that’s nogood, so we’ll get that straightenedout,” said Atkinson.Although the game was penaltyridden, the Dinos looked poisedand confident in their ability tohandle the puck during the penaltykill — a trait the Pronghornslacked.“We’re well organized for thistime of year,” said Atkinson. “Ithink our puck movement wasdecent, but we can be a lot betterthan that.”Towards the end of the game,the Dinos started to find their legsand although they rolled over thePronghorns, their passion startedto show — best demonstratedby forward Torrie Wheat, whoattempted to block a shot with sixminutes left in the third periodand a 5–3 lead.Frustration boiled over for thePronghorns during the dyingminutes of the game as the teamsexchanged face rubs and pushedand shoved their way to the penaltybox.“That’s their game plan; they’retrying to take us off our game,they’re trying to salvage somerespect,” said Atkinson of therough play.Outshooting the Pronghorns37–14, the Dinos walked awayUnfortunately, this was one of the few times the Dinos had their head in the game.with a win, but in the end, thatis not what matters to Atkinsonin a pre-season game.“We’re not preparing for differentopponents, we’re preparingfor ourselves. We’re not thinkingabout what they do wrong, we’retrying to control what happens outthere and control what we do.”The Dinos used the momentumof the win to pummel theMount Royal College Cougars6–1 Saturday.With the final roster stillundecided, the Dinos take on thePronghorns in two away gamesthis weekend. The first exhibitiongame is in Lethbridge this Fridayat 7 p.m. then a game on neutralice in Okotoks on Saturday at 7p.m.Sean Oakes/the Gauntlet

GAUNTLET SPORTS SEPTEMBER 18.08 27Women’s soccer squad still searching for first winDINOS1Chris PedersenGauntlet SportsvsPANDAS1women’s soccerThe University of CalgaryKickoff weekend was notthe homecoming the Dinoswomen’s soccer team wanted as theydrew their first match 1–1 with theUniversity of Alberta Pandas onSaturday. They followed up witha 3–2 loss to the University ofSaskatchewan Huskies at the WestVarsity soccer pitch.Saturday’s game against thePandas started with the Dinos takingan early lead after striker MorenaIanniello scored in the 10th minuteof the match. The Dinos continuedto dominate the play in the first half,creating numerous scoring chances,but were unable to find the back ofthe net a second time.The Pandas managed to tie thegame after Christina Le scored 43minutes into the game.The goalkeepers thwarted offensivechances in the second half, ensuringthat the game ended in a draw.In the second game of the weekenddoubleheader,the Dinos welcomedthe Huskies. The game was muchdifferent than Saturday’s match asthe Dinos started slow, continuedslow and only started to put chancestogether late in the second half.The Huskies dominated the openingminutes of play and grabbed anearly lead when Elizabeth Hudon puta quick shot past Dinos goalkeeperCourtney Heffernan.Huskies head coach TomLaPointe applauded his teamfor getting the first goal, whichallowed them to control play forMen’s soccer team off to B.C.,continued from page 26Eat this. The Dinos are still winless after dropping one and tying one on the weekend.the duration of the game.“[It was] very crucial for us becausein our last two efforts we were scoredupon first,” he said. “And then mentallywe went downhill, so it was criticalfor us to score first and I think weplayed a lot better that way.”The Huskies controlled the ballwell for the remainder of the halfand continued to produce excellentscoring opportunities. Theycapitalized on a late chance in thefirst half with one minute left toChris Pedersen/the Gauntletplay when Kaitlyn Johnson blastedthe ball into the Calgary net givingthe Huskies a 2–0 lead.The Dinos started off the secondhalf as they did the first — seeminglyforgetting they were playingin a soccer match. In the earlyminutes of the second half, JamieLemay of the Huskies secured theball and slid it past Heffernan forthe third goal of the game. TheHuskies continued to keep thepressure on the Dinos with severalbreakaway attempts, only to bethwarted by Heffernan’s excellentgoaltending.Shortly after Anderson’s goal,the Huskies switched to a moredefensive style of play, allowingthe Dinos to control possession ofthe ball for the remainder of thegame. The Dinos benefited fromsloppy Husky play and a goalkeepererror, but ultimately ended up onegoal short of the tie.Tessa Miller and Caitlin Milnescored the late goals for the Dinos,who were unable to capitalize onfurther opportunities and couldnot salvage the game. The Dinos’best chance came late in the secondhalf when they were awardeda free kick, but sent the ball overthe net.LaPointe was not pleased by histeam’s collapse and the Dinos’resurgence.“That’s just the nature of thegame,” he said. “When you’re aheadyou stay back and you think you’regoing to defend. We had a couple ofchances where we should have finished.All hats [off] to [the Dinos],they kept coming at us. We werehappy with the result. We neededa ‘W’ so we got it.”The Dinos take to the road nextweekend looking for their firstwin of the season as they face theUniversity of British ColumbiaThunderbirds and the Universityof Victoria Vikes.half, Northey scored the gamewinninggoal.The eager Dinos did not sit backand give the Huskies an easy roadwin, though. Their competitivetendencies produced seven shotson net in the second half — a statisticthat pleases Gibbs.“At least we’re creating chances,now we just have to put them inthe net,” he said.The Dinos are winless in thefirst four games of the season,their closest game was againstthe University of Alberta GoldenBears where they ended up in a2–2 deadlock at the West Varsitysoccer pitch.Like the game against theHuskies a day earlier, the Dinosmade a strong statement by scoringfirst from a goal by FernandoDi Capua.The offence kept coming asJeremy Jenkins gave the confidentDinos a 2–0 lead.Soon after the second goal wasscored, the offence came to a haltand the Bears’ game plan becametoo much for the youthful Dinossquad to handle.“They changed their style tolong and direct,” said Gibbs.“Between the forwards not holdingthe ball up and the defensenot clearing the zone, we didn’tcome up with enough ball to tryand change directions.”The Dinos will try to find theelusive win when they travel toB.C. to take on the University ofVictoria Vikes and University ofBritish Columbia Thunderbirdsthis weekend.“UBC are very big and themost talented team this year,”said Gibbs. “[Victoria] is themost achieving team this year– we’re going to their location.I do not know what to expect, aslong as we’re competitive, I’m notunhappy.”

28 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET SPORTSOptimism the key for successful field hockey seasonDINOS1Brad HalaszSports EditorvsVIKES2field hockeyDespite dropping their firsttwo games to the Universityof Victoria Vikes this pastweekend at Hawkings Field, theUniversity of Calgary Dinos fieldhockey team is optimistic about thedirection their squad is taking thisseason.The youthful Dinos held the strongVikes team to just one goal in the firsthalf of the second game in the weekenddoubleheader.“It was a good outcome for us,” saidDinos head coach Jenn Swagar. “It wasunexpected. Their stats are way betterthan ours and their defence playedsolid.”Despite the even score at the half-timethe Vikes proved too strong and experiencedas they fed off the mistakes ofthe Dinos and scored three unansweredgoals, giving them a 4–1 victory.“In the second half, the girls didn’tcome out and execute the game plan,”said Swagar. “[The Vikes] capitalizedon a couple of our turnovers, which isone of our goals this year, to minimizethe turnovers.”Saturday’s season opening game wasa positive turnaround for the team asthey managed to keep turnovers to aminimum.“Their turnover rate was probablyabout half of what it was last yearin the first game,” said Swagar, “Sothat’s an exceptional stat for us.”The Dinos ultimately gave in totheir old habits, losing 2–1 in theKickoff homecoming game, butSwagar said that the mistakes arehappening less and less.It’s all mine! The battle for the ball heats up.“We had some key performanceson Saturday,” she said. “It was arespectable game. We gave themone goal on an error. Those areDaniel Pagan/the Gauntletthe things that are going to happenwith young players, so hopefullywe can minimize those so wedon’t give free goals away.”Emma Guppy scored the lone goalfor the Dinos, but much like the team,she had an up-and-down weekend.“Saturday, she played awesome,Sunday, not so good because she wasplaying through some injuries, so Ithink mentally that had an [effect onher],” said Swagar.Sixteen-year-old Carolina Romeomade her Canadian InteruniversitySport debut as the youngest athlete towear a Dinos uniform on Saturday.According to Swagar, she was eagerto take to the pitch.“I took her off for about fiveminutes to re-emphasize thegame plan,” she said. “But otherthan that, she executed it well.”The team makes the trip to thewest coast this weekend to battlethe tough University of BritishColumbia Thunderbird team, atest the Dinos are looking forwardto.“We’re ready to go,” said Swagar.“We’re looking good.”

GAUNTLET SPORTS SEPTEMBER 18.08 29Parity in football this fall is freakin’ funWith several major upsets this week, the CIS championship is openBrad HalaszSportspinionsSaturday’s Kickoff footballgame was boring, dull andwell, just not fun to watch.There were 14 turnovers, six interceptionsand nine fumbles. Therewas only one offensive touchdownand the referees threw their orangeflags more than the quarterbacksdid the ball.At half time the only point onthe board was a rouge by Dinoskicker Aaron Ifield. Yeah, a rouge.That’s one point.The halftime show featuredseveral Rex the dinosaurs racingaround the field and providedmore entertainment than thegame did.I should get over it though. Thegame is over. They can’t all be nailbitingbouts of excitement. There’sno need to dwell really. Like a badgrade or a bad night at the bar,learn from it and move on.Despite the game being a bore,the Dinos win did help createa buzz around one concept theCanadian Interuniversity Sportfootball league has lacked in recentyears: parity.Saturday’s game, albeit a slowone, was not a complete writeoff — the Dinos won their firstKickoff homecoming game andbeat archrivals University ofAlberta Golden Bears for the firsttime since 2004.The crowd at McMahon Stadiumwas solid, with over 3,000 fanseager to see a good football game.Shockingly, the majority of themstayed for the entire game, meaningit was just more than relatives andfriends who attended.The win comes just one weekafter the Dinos handidly defeatedthe toast of the Canada West division,the University of ManitobaBisons — giving them their firstloss since 2005.The rattled Bisons — whodeveloped a culture of wining andlearned how to do nothing else fortwo years – carried the weight ofthat loss to their game with theUniversity of British ColumbiaThunderbirds where they wereshut-out 28–0 in front of a homecrowd and were defeated for asecond straight week.The Bisons moved from a secondplace ranking in the CIS top-ten – Apoll selected by 11 members of thenational media – to not making thecut.Wait, it gets weirder. The SimonFraser University Clan have wontwo games this year, beatingthe powerhouse University ofSaskatchewan Huskies and UBC.The Clan cracked the CIS top-tenfor the first time since 2004.The Dinos, Huskies,Thunderbirds and the Clan are alltied for first place in the CanadaWest standings after three weeksof play. That is exciting news forfootball fans. It means there will beno free lunches this fall and neitherthe Dinos or the Clan can phoneit in this weekend when the U of Ctravels to B.C.The Clan, whose performance inthe past four years has been lessthan enviable, has a chance to turnthe heads of the rest of the leagueand gain a first place position inthe west.Even powerhouse Laval, who beatthe Acadia Axmen 47–1 last week,are tied with two other teams in theQuebec division.The parity in this league isrefreshing to see. It’s healthy forCanadian football — especiallysince the CFL has lost it’s unpredictably.We know the CalgaryStampeders and EdmontonEskimoes are going to be crawlingon the BC Lions doorstep all seasonin the West, while the MontrealAlouettes are going to dominatethe East, and eventually bow outto the West in the Grey Cup. Oh,and the Hamilton Tiger-Cats aregoing to be in the basement playingMadden ’09.In golf, the cut after two days of playshould be par — this concept is nowbeing applied to the 2008 CIS league.So you can watch The DetroitRed Wings dominate the West inthe NHL, the Indianapolis Coltsroll over competition in the NFLor the San Antonio Spurs yawntheir way deep into the NBA playoffs,but I’m keeping my eye onthe parity of Canada West thisfall because, damn it, it providesan unpredictable outcome that iscrucial for organized sport to thriveand gives casual fans a reason topay attention.

30 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLETWeek one is now over at this zany schooland I’ve already been approached bysome ski dude giving out free condoms.I’ve also learned that only 0.01 percentof the U of C population enjoys and willaccept free hugs from a short gingergirl with a sign. However, with classesgetting into the swing of things and thedull repetition of school lurking on thefringes of your brain, the TLFs are youronly hope for true pleasure, so bringyour TLF to MSC 319 or e-mail themto tlfs@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. All submissionsmust include your name, IDnumber, phone number and signature.Submissions judged to be sexist, racist,homophobic or attacks of a personalnature will not be printed.I bet you’re all wondering why I calledyou all here... I have heard of the rumorsof a moose on campus, and yesthese are scary, but... They have nothingon the severity of a pigeon CAT!!If you happen to see the pigeon cataround campus she responds well tohugs. She has red hair. For GODSAKEHUG HER!– Hank, I’ve always liked that name.AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL seeks toprotect prisoners of conscience worldwide.Our UC branch has folded. Willyou help revive it? What’s required?A bit of your time, a small contribution,energy and compassion. Contactjdverney@ucalgary.ca.To the cute guy at the Kensington Publast Saturday night: You drank water. I“watched” football sitting at the tableright next to you. We didn’t talk untilyou had to leave. Let’s meet and drinkwater together some time. Contact meat h2b0nding@gmail.com– h2b0nding@gmail.comI am a witty TLF.Intramural sports is hiring all positions.Supervisors, first aid and referees. Paystarting at 10$ an hour.– imscomp@ucalgary.caHumanities 708/709: You guys are awesome!Hope your first week of schoolwas great.– Cheers, your wonderful OLsThanks energy and environment forkeeping it green!– the late trees on campus drive[Man, those trees were wittier than halfmy philosophy class...– awEd]To the mass:GO AWAY! Your self-righteousdemeanor and inability to keep toyourself make me sick. I hope youlead a depressing and lonely life.– Sincerely, your mother[you said it sista!...motha!–empowerEd]Missed Kickoff? Catch the Dinos vs.the Golden Bears on NUTV. BTW weoffer live coverage of Dinos Basketballhome games all year too!– NUTV[See you there, I’m stalking one of theDinos.– creepEd]Arusha is partnering with the The CalgaryInternational Film Festival for the ArushaAction Film #27 - “To the Tar Sands”Sunday September 21 at noon at thePlaza Theatre in Kensington.HEY BIG-D, You’re nine kinds of fool!– K-DonkeyFor any First Year ENGG students lookingfor Textbooks email me, I have afew left to sell. (Also have GEOG 205)– omar_theone@hotmail.comHey Dragon Eyes…“New winds approach from the south,And he commits to following behind, Farenough not to steal her wind, But closeenough to keep her in sight,”– A[what? this is romance? reaalllly?–confusEd]Sarod Recital. Classical Indian MusicConcert at U of C Ruubakin Hall onSaturday Sept 30, 2008 at 7:30 pm. Fortickets check out the Campus TicketCentre.Dear People who Chat In Front ofStairways/Doorways: I am sure thatyour life stories are fasinating, butfucking get out of other peoples ways.Thank you.–Yours very sincerely,Logic & Common Sense[yeah! GOD!– enforcEd]Wun Two Free, School’s Bad for Me.– Adapted from friendAre you an international student workingon a U of C degree? We want to hearfrom you and we’ll give you free foodtoo! Wed. Sept. 24, 25 and 26th we’dlike to hear your input on a potentialnew international student program.RSVP to Diana at CISSA for details;dlbumste@ucalgary.ca. Exact times onCISSA event calendar: www.ucalgary.ca/cissa/calendar/Sep08.I don’t wanna die October 21st...–A really concerned Hawai’ian.three lines freeHow much extra unplanned $ must Last night I finished my work. Then Ibe given to Eng before new chalk was happy. Then my computer diedboards that my profs can write on are and I lost all my work. Then I was sad.installed? I’m thinking $100M. This is a Then I did all my work again. Fuck wasschool, right?I ever sleepy.– A concerned ENG student[everyone’s so concerned, but the engineercares more about blackboards than– you know whoD, bike racks, after school.the Hawai’ian cares about the end ofthe world...– ummEd]No, I don’t have a tlf...last summer...ohwait! I may have a freak penis but atleast I’m not a rapist.– Shake and BakeWhat do you call a -- the rest of thishilarious joke has been sensored byJon Roe.– Why so seriousHow many indie kids does it take toscrew in a light bulb?One and 99 to say they did it firstDoes this picture make me look like I’mpooping?– Dr. WhoTo the girls in my linguistics class: weshould meet up sometime so I can introducemyself to your alveolar ridge andwe can fricative all night long.– the chauffeurHey $%##$ check my $%#@!!– Why so censored?Johnson’s the folkiest robot around!– his flower hatYou can’t eat the fruit and throw the peelaway! A man is not a piece of fruit.– the worst play you’ll ever readDID YOU KNOW? There’s ten thousandshillings at the end of the rainbow! That’slike ten dollars!– the other captainI have a portable table. Can travel. Useonly best oils.[what do you think the oils are for?– excitEd]Fucking SU! They fucking cheat, man.– pikism #57DAVID! HEY! DAVID!– DavidI like to go to the gym five times a day justtow see the hunky hunks pump iron!– not JordynWe can allow satellites, planets, suns,universe, nay whole systems of universe,to be governed by laws, but the smallestinsect, we wish to be created at onceby special act.– Charles DarwinSubmit a TLF! I accept bribes.

entertainment e t n e n tGAUNTLETSEPTEMBER 18.08 33Editor: Amanda Hu—entertainment@gauntlet.ucalgary.caCalgary FilmFest brings movingpictures to the silver screenCaptured motionWith the Calgary International FilmFestival soon upon us, some of theGauntlet’s intrepid girl reporterswent searching for some of the festival’s bestfilms. Here are some of their thoughts.Max Minsky and MeNelly Sue Edelmeister’s name is practicallybigger than she is. The skinny, awkward 13-year-old girl, blessed with brains, but somewhatlacking in social skills and athletic ability, is theheart-warming protagonist of Max Minsky andMe. She is intent on being an astronomer andnothing deters her focus, except a rather hopelesscrush on Luxembourg’s resident royal heartthrob,Prince Edouard.When Nelly (Zoe Moore) finds out her school’sbasketball team is headed to the tiny countryfor a tournament hosted by His Highness, shesuddenly decides to limber up, with the help ofMaximilian Minsky (Emil Reinke), a new studentwith a sloppy school record and an attitude toboot. Nelly winds up juggling Max’s homeworkas part of the bargain, as well as Hebrew, anoverbearing mother and a well-meaning butinterfering extended family, all to dazzle herPrince Charming.The film’s imaginative cinematography standsout, with freeze frames, sped-up background shotsand borderline cliché techniques, like spotlightsand slo-mo, that fit with the genuine innocenceof the story. Combine that blatant CG shots ofNelly in her element sitting on planets and amongshooting stars, the visuals of the film are simpleand fun, enhanced by the naturally beautiful scenicviews of Berlin and clever colour palates. Despitebeing yet another literary adaptation, the movie isa cinematic accomplishment and well deservingof its many international accolades.Max Minsky and Me is an endearing comingof age movie that combines realism and fantasyto create a wonderfully told story. Brilliantlycontrasting the quirky world of young teenagersagainst more significant themes and adding in aperfect mixture of wit, truth and heartbreak, MaxMinsky and Me never takes itself too seriouslyand finds its place as an off-centre yet conventionaltale of belonging and growing up...Silvia de SommaFull Battle RattleThe experience of war is one that is impossibleto replicate — not that this stops the militaryfrom trying. Investing an exorbitant amount ofmoney apparently gets you a fairly accurate setof 13 Iraqi towns to cut your democracy-spreadingteeth on, though the practice will probablynever compare to the real thing.Full Battle Rattle examines a virtual Iraq in theheart of the Mojave Desert. The military hiresactors to portray Iraqis, troops spend weeks therepreparing before being deployed to the real placeand strategists plan scenarios and events to testtheir army’s aptitude.The documentary follows a set of soldiers asthey go through eight different scenarios theyare likely to face after going to war. Most ofthe focus is on their experiences and the filmdoesn’t explore the strategists and their role indepth. While the emphasis on the soldiers isinteresting at first, it soon becomes boring andthe film’s development stagnates. There is someexploration of the actors — some of which arereal ex-patriot Iraqis — and their stories, includingtheir struggles to leave Iraq and remain inthe U.S., which adds intrigue to situation, butnot much else.The concept of an elaborately-staged trainingground is definitely interesting and directorsTony Gerber and Jesse Moss touch on some ofthe questions and concerns that are inevitablyraised by its existence. Ultimately, Full BattleRattle fails to examine the bigger picture surroundingits subject, making for a quicklytiresome affair...Amanda HuWonderful TownWonderful Town is a version of the classic lovestory — the kind where the two lead charactershave to hide their love for each other from everyonearound them and one that almost alwaysends tragically. In many ways, this film feels likea poem: it is descriptive and beautiful, but alsodark and ominous.Aditya Assarat’s fourth directorial endeavortakes place in a small Thai town, three yearsafter it was devastated by the tsunami that hit onBoxing Day in 2004. It is one of those rare filmsthat accomplishes what it has set out to do.The sincere, underplayed acting is surroundedby cinematography that is elegantly beautiful, creatingsomething that is both visually attractive andmoving. The actors are strong enough to give theircharacters depth with minimal dialogue.The film is slow moving, feels quaint andhumble and is littered with eerie undertones.The score is the only thing that takes away fromthe film. It is a tad over the top at times, tryingto suggest and promote ideas of looming dangerlying straight ahead. In spite of this, the film isa well-done portrayal of a time-honoured ploton top of modern-day events...Michelle CarlsonGeoff MacIntosh/the GauntletDear ZacharyA sad story can be heartwrenching in its ownright. In Dear Zachary, the true tragedy of thisfilm is that the events actually happened.Dear Zachary focuses on the court case surroundingthe death of Andrew Bagby. The filmtakes on the form of a video scrapbook beingput together for Bagby’s son, who is born afterhis father’s death. Filmmaker Kurt Kuenne useshome video clips and family photos, as well aspersonal interviews collected from family andfriends to construct Bagby as a person. The courtcase of Bagby’s death is interwoven throughoutthe film, supported by clips of the trial and courtdocuments. The film takes on a personal note forthe filmmaker, Kurt Kuenne, who met the film’ssubject, Bagby’s, growing up in California andwas a lifelong friend. Kuenne provides narrationand insight into his relationship with Bagby,as well as his motivations as a filmmaker forthis project.The start of this documentary jumps aroundand mirrors the confusion surrounding the deathof the subject. Viewers may feel disconnected atthe start due to the film’s jumping from interviewto interview, which the narrator later rectifiesby explaining the story from start to finish. Thefilm serves two purposes: honouring a victimof crime and highlighting the flaws of theCanadian justice system. These two topics arecomplimentary and there’s no sense that eitherhas precedence over the other. The film managesto appeal to the viewer’s sense of emotionalityand rationality as a result.The message of Dear Zachary is not lost onthe commemoration of a life. Rather it usesthe connection with its viewers to promote theissue of bail reform, an issue that is not necessarilyat the forefront of the consciousness ofthe viewer...Elyse MerrimanFor more festival information and complete showtimes, visitwww.calgaryfi lm.com. Check out next week’s Gauntlet for morereviews.

34 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENTLooking at the life of the sasquatchF i l m F e s tf i l m i n t e r v i e wAmanda HuEntertainment EditorThe sasquatch is many things tomany people. While some sayit’s a myth, others wholeheartedlybelieve in this being’s existence,even making their livelihood off thelegend. To one man stuck in thewilds of British Columbia, though,it was his partner in a hair-raisingone-night stand.Hair of the Sasquatch revolvesaround Steve Hastings, a hunter,outdoorsman and taxidermist. Afterheading out on a hunting trip, hegoes missing much to the alarm ofhis wife and neighbours. After threedays, the search party is called off,only to see Hastings emerge fromthe forest unscathed and healthy.After much prodding, Hastingsreluctantly reveals to close friends ofhis encounter and interaction withhis sasquatch saviour. Director DaleWolfe says that the outlandish turnof the film serves to bring home anoften forgotten notion.“Roger [Cove, Hair’s screenwriter]’spoint is that no one ever thinks aboutthe fact that if there are male sasquatches,there’s got to be femalesasquatches,” says Wolfe. “If a guy’sbeen out in the bush for too long, Iwonder how attractive she’s going tostart looking.”In addition to the unexpected associationbetween Hastings and theirhairy subject, Wolfe and Cove werelooking for a new way to frame thesasquatch’s impact on others.“We originally started out to makea short film and as we went to peopleand started talking about it, we sortof felt that we were going downthe same old road as every othersasquatch movie that has a fakesasquatch in it or talking to peopleabout if it exists,” Wolfe explains.“The thing we discovered in doingthis, though, was all the companies[profiting, like] the Sasquatch Inn andThe forest is a good place for deep thoughts.people selling sasquatch burgers.”The duo also traveled to the set ofa Kokanee beer commercial, whoseadvertising campaign capitalizes onthe sasquatch image, and exploredthe Vancouver 2010 Olympics useof the hairy fable as one of its iconicmascots. With this concept in place,Wolfe and Cove worked to achievecourtesy Frog Hair Productionsa subtle mix of reality and fictionin the film, which Wolfe explainswasn’t hard, given the sasquatch’sever-growing reputation and thetalent involved in the film.“I think we found [the balance]through a great cast giving usbelievable performances,” Wolfesays. “Most people don’t know whoare cast members and who are realpeople from the documentary.”As Hair of the Sasquatch walksthe line between reality and folklore,it may prompt audience’s tothink, if not of their own beliefs onthe sasquatch’s existence, but aboutwhat is real and what isn’t, especiallyin the film itself.“I think [the sasquatch is] a legend,”Wolfe says. “When I look atthe scientific evidence, they’ve neverfound a carcass or remains. We actuallymet someone who claims to haveseen the sasquatch. They said theyfound the hair of the sasquatch andthen when they had the hair analyzed,it was a bear. It’s one of those thingswhere I would love to believe that itexists — like UFOs or the Loch NessMonster or Ogopogo. There’s a partof me that wants to believe it, but I’mprobably the biggest skeptic when itcomes to the reality of it.”Hair of the Sasquatch plays as part of the CalgaryInternational Film Festival at the Uptown Stage andScreen on Sept. 21 at 7 p.m.

Elyse MerrimanGauntlet EntertainmentHoping for the best was whatdirector Chris Scheuermandid for his latest film, Hopefor the Broken Contender. The film,about a young boxer’s aspirations ofbecoming a professional while beingdrawn to street gangs, is receivingacclaim, which comes as a surpriseto the young director.“I didn’t expect to get anythingback from this project,” he says.“This film was only a film I madeto take a small step towards projectsI feel very passionate about.You definitely hope something willcome back when you put this muchtime and effort into something, butwith this project in particular, I amin shock.”The budget of the film wasonly $6,500, a paltry sum comparedto the millions most moviesreceive. Though it was almostnot enough, Scheuerman saysit was a step up from his last film,a no-budget piece called Cornered,which this project is based upon.“It was definitely challenging,”he recalls. “It is definitely not commonto shoot a film for such a lowbudget, but in this case, I really hadno choice. We had to be able to pullthings together. In terms of script,you’ve got to really use your instinctand all the experience I had makingno budget films, I really had to harnessall that . . . we didn’t have anymoney for anything elaborate, yet weended up with some elaborate scenesin the movie.”Broken Contender has scenes shotin Regina and Calgary, Scheuerman’shometown. Filming in and aroundthe city for this film, he utilized andrelied on the support of locals to makehis project a success.“I’ve been making movies in andaround Okotoks since I was a kid,” hesays. “We didn’t always have locationpermits. We always had the supportof the locals, but we always let themknow that we were shooting thereand we were always very adamantthat those around us knew what wewere doing.”Calgary’s newfound market forthe film industry also aided in theopenness of citizens to the project.People in and around the city seemto be drawn towards the fact thatCalgary is starting to become moreof a hotspot for filmmaking.“It’s still very fresh to make moviesin Calgary,” Scheuerman says. “It’snot a place that’s oversaturated bymovies. They’re shooting films inGAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT SEPTEMBER 18.08 35Broken Contender breaks in young filmmakerCalgary’s Chris Scheuerman brings his low-budget wonder to the Film FestF i l m F e s texperience has changed the way he’llf i l m i n t e r v i e wYou gotta stay in it, champ! Stay in it for the win!courtesy Chris ScheuermanCalgary and it’s like people are almostexcited to be a part of that.”Along with the budget,Scheuerman’s age contributed tohow the project took shape. Thoughhe wrote the film when he was 19,and directed it at age 20, he says theMBF is totally your super awesome best friendMichaelBernardFitzgeraldm u s i c i n t e r v i e wMichelle de ManGauntlet EntertainmentMBF serenades the crowd with his musical love of love.If your life has been hectic, youought to try Michael BernardFitzgerald’s time-management secret.It’s a combination of BlackBerry, iCaland mom, but don’t tell anyone aboutthe last part.“Yesterday when I was stressed, mymom took me for tea at Starbucks,”Fitzgerald recalls. “At first she waslike, ‘I don’t know about this wholequitting school and pursuing guitarthing,’ but now she’s really supportive.The only two CDs in her car aremine.”While he didn’t complete theprogram, Fitzgerald attended theUniversity of Lethbridge for a fewyears studying drama. He started asolo acoustic project when he wentto live in Australia in 2004 for a littlewhile after high school. It has sinceevolved into a full-fledged music venture,sometimes elaborate, but alwaysentertaining and full of a whole lotof, well, soul. Fitzgerald picked upsome friends on the semi-local levelDaniel Pagan/the Gauntletbill who play saxophone, tromboneand trumpets, and isn’t sure justwhere they’ll be in 20 years.“I think I see our future being soccerdads in Volvos,” he says. “I’ll bethe coach.”Following the release of the newEP, This is MBF, Andrew Ball wasthe man behind the drums and JoelFraser took on guitar and piano. JoshGwilliam is handing over bass duty toChris Van Berkel this weekend. Withthe newest set up, MBF is planning tostart recording again.“We’re going back to the studio inNovember,” he says. “That’s somethingto be hopeful about. So thebeginning of ’09 there’s going to bea new disc. I’ve also been booking thistour for awhile, so that’s cool.”Fitzgerald, who works on andoff as a waiter and has graced thestages of MacEwan Hall, VirginFest and Calgary Folk Fest, is goingto Montreal and back on a 35-daytour. Currently, about 30 shows arebooked on it.“I wanted to play two shows a day,so an afternoon show and an eveningshow, so in a lot of places, we’re goingto do that,” Fitzgerald says.If you’ve never seen the quirkylive show, MBF plays the whole newapproach future projects.“I guess being young, it makes you alittle more brave in what you attemptto do because you’re not experiencedyet,” he says. “I kind of went after alot of things in the film and if I hadhad a little more experience or if Ihad known what I know now aftermaking the film, I probably wouldn’thave done it that way.”There is also something to besaid for the genre that Scheuermanchose to make this feature film in. Thegrowing filmmaker says he is inspiredby crime genre directors and films,making the style a natural choice forhis first real film.“Being young and being not connectedyet to a particular genre, it wasus wanting to make a movie like themovies that really inspire us as filmmakers,”he explains. “That was thereal reason why I jumped at doing it.I just see how gang culture is glamorizedin media today and I almostwanted to take a kick at the can attrying to deglamorize . . . how ganglife is made to look so cool.”Hope for the Broken Contender plays as part of theCalgary International Film Festival at the UptownStage and Screen on Sept. 21 at 7 p.m.EP, including soul stunner Maxine,as well as some old favourites.Listening to him play, you wouldn’tbe able to tell he was never seriousabout guitar lessons. He’s been craftinga trademark upbeat acoustic soulpop style with his band lately. Youmight be able to tell from his lyricsand personality, however, that he isa hands-down fan of love.“Fall in love,” he says. “Fall in lovewith anything. The best thing you cando is just go fall in love.”While a few of Fitzgerald’s influencesare Jason Mraz and Motown,the flair manifesting itself in hismusic, he is open to new endeavors.He adds creating music that hasreal significance to other people issomething rewarding about beingin the music industry.“It’s also rewarding that we getto do this and it’s a bit of a self-sufficiententity now, which is definitelya first.”Michael Bernard Fitzgerald plays That Empty Spaceon Sept. 19.

36 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENTBringing the broodinessElliott Brood rocks the history-based beats to defy the death country labelE l l i o t tB r o o dm u s i c i n t e r v i e wPaul BeriaultGauntlet EntertainmentElliott Brood gets around.The influence of a cabin atthe foot of Mount Robson,a town hall in Wayne, Alberta, andfront and back rooms in Toronto areall apparent in the eclectic recordingprocess for Elliott Brood’s recentalbum, Mountain Meadows. Thegroup covers a lot of distance, bothin their music and in their touringvan. Opening for acts like Wilco,Corb Lund and the Sadies, as wellas garnering a Juno nomination fortheir record Ambassador, they havebeen busy making their mark in theworld.Since the release of their debut EPTin Type, the band’s music hasn’tMark Sasso knows how to strum a guitar with passion.Gauntlet fi le photostrayed far from the soulful roughedge that gives them their uniquesound. The songs have become biggerand more expansive with addedinstrumentation, yet one can stillrecognize the roots production andtrademark strained vocals of singerCasey Laforet. Though they are oftendescribed as “death country” by themusic press, guitarist Mark Sassodoesn’t believe it fully describeswhat the band does.“Death country kind of describesthe lyrical content, but our music ispretty upbeat in our live show so Ithink it minimally describes what wedo,” he says.Elliott Brood’s live show hasgained them a loyal following acrossthe country with their upbeat tunesand driving rhythms played on anold suitcase with banjos, guitars andukuleles.Ambassador features songs aboutthe death of Stonewall Jackson,John F. Kennedy and the title trackis based on the Ambassador Bridgethat connects Windsor, Ontarioto Detroit. Lyrically, the songs onMountain Meadows were looselyinspired by the massacre of a wagontrain by Mormon militia in Utah in1857. Sasso says the band uses historicalevents and perspectives asa start point for their songwriting,rather than consciously forcing thethemes.“I think it’s kind of organic,” heexplains. “We kind of stumbled uponit. Casey stumbled upon it readinga book and I watched a documentary,so it’s not like, ‘Okay, let’s goto this time period and write aboutit.’ It’s about what you’re interestedin. When you find something thatresonates with you, one, it becomesthe album title and two, you use itas a jumping off point for some ofthe songs.”Mountain Meadows isn’t a conceptrecord. Sasso notes it’s up to the listenerto find their own path throughthe album.Elliott Brood play the Warehouse on Sept. 18. Doorsopen at 8 p.m.

GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT SEPTEMBER 18.08 37Some joke about tumoursC a n c e r B a t sm u s i c i n t e r v i e wJulia OsinchukGauntlet EntertainmentAlot of music is the result ofthe tragic death of originality,fame-moochers,Myspace hype bands and thosewho have sold their souls to shocktactics and pop music — exactly whybands like the Cancer Bats ought tobe appreciated due to their rarity.“It’s not like we felt that in any waywe were given anything,” says vocalistLiam Cormier. “We’ve workedreally hard for this band and we’vepaid our dues and took the time tohave this success.”Originally hailing from Toronto,Ontario, the group never imaginedthat they would be getting such astrong reaction from the scenein a city on the other side of thecountry.“The first time that we playedCalgary was probably one of themost epic times,” Cormier says. “Weplayed a hall show at a communitycentre. It was a record release showfor a local Calgary band and it wasamazing. The show was packed . . . itwas the first time we played there andthere was tons of kids singing along,even though our record [Birthing theGiant] had just come out. I rememberjust being like, ‘Fuck, this showwas amazing.’ ”While these convention bendershave certainly paid their dues,even through several lineup changes,progress has been anything but slowWhy is the guy on the left so serious?for them. In a short matter of time,they were back for another roundon the Calgary circuit, but theyhad not come alone. This time theyhad come as an opening act for fellowCanadian band, and friends,Alexisonfire.“We did our first tour and thenwe got offered our Alexis tour,”Cormier recalls. “We actually had noidea that that was going to happen.We played two shows at MacEwanHall, those were amazing. Those weresome of the best shows of tour.”That experience is exactly why theboys have added a second Calgaryshow to their cross-Canada tourbefore they head off to the UnitedKingdom. Originally scheduled as abar show, the second all-ages showwas added after objections werevoiced, courtesy of the Cancer Batsthemselves.“We got the offer to do the barshow and we were like, ‘Okaycool. You know, that’ll be great,’and then I was like, ‘The only waythat we’re going to do this show isif we can do an all ages show inCalgary,’ ” explains Cormier. “Barcourtesy Listen Hardershows are cool, but everybody hasto get wasted, which kind of sucks.At an all ages show, everybody’spumped to party like, right off thebat. Nobody has a chip on theirshoulder. Nobody’s going to be adick. It’s more just like, a real funrelease and a fun show. We’re superpsyched to be coming out and I’mpretty sure it’s going to be the bestshow of the tour. Those kids neverlet us down.”The Cancer Bats play the Gateway on Sept. 19.Doors open at 8 p.m.

38 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENTTheatre and dance kick off the season in SeptemberNicole DionneDance and Drama DelightsUniversity’s a time to discoveryour true passions and toconnect with the worldaround you. Both dance and thedramatic arts offer a buffet of exhilaratingexperiences sure to delight anyexplorer’s pallet. The stage is a placewhere imagination finds a place totake seed and mature, and providesboth inspiration and an opportunityfor reflection for the audience. Headdown to these great venues to discoverand celebrate the human spirit in themost tasteful of ways.The University of Calgary danceprogram kicks off this year’s seasonwith the annual Professional Series,Sept. 26 and 27. Entitled Impact, theseries will be featuring the genius ofchoreographer and dancer MarcBoivin. Conveying intensity fromthe aesthetics of movement, eachperformance will be sure to thrilland inspire.If the prospect of sitting throughthe entire length of a play seemsdaunting to you, but you still wantto get your taste of the stage, lookno further than Calgary’s own LunchBox Theatre. Recently relocated toa venue at the base of the CalgaryTower, this troupe exhibits shortplays over the lunch hour. Thisyear’s season promises somethingfor everyone, starting with a comedicmusical entitled Stagefright.Theatre Calgary presents A Raisinin the Sun, which will be running allthis month and well into October.Brought to life in the Max BellTheatre, this remarkable script ishistorically important to the theatrecommunity as the first play writtenby a black woman to be producedon Broadway. Set in Chicago’sWoodlawn neighborhood, the playfollows the inspirational story of afamily whose members are tryingto find their respective places in theworld. Each individual must hold onto their dreams through a number ofdifficult circumstances. The Youngerfamily’s journey through turmoil is atruly moving story anyone can use asa candle when getting through roughparts of their own lives.Recharge your creativity byimmersing yourself in the imaginationof childhood. The RoyalWinnipeg Ballet will be paying tributeto the beauty of youthful energy at theSouthern Alberta Jubilee Auditoriumuntil Sept. 20. Their rendition of thefamily classic Peter Pan is great forstudents, especially if university ismaking you feel a bit too grown up.It’s the perfect way to remind yourself that you’re still a youngster andescape to Neverland.When someone says “musical theatre,”the first thing to pop into mostpeoples mind is the infinitely classyclassic, Cats. Audiences all over theglobe have been captivated by the magnitudeof this spectacular theatricalfavourite. The intense choreographyof Broadway Across Canada bringsthe lovable, quirky characters and theiconic music to life. Performances willbe taking place at the Southern AlbertaJubilee Auditorium Sept. 23–28.No one wants to experience thehorror and fear of living during awar or pandemic. However, exploringthe culture of paranoia cultivatedduring such events is undoubtedlyinteresting. Unity (1918) by KevinKerr allows one to do just that, fromthe comfort of their chair. ATP will bepresenting the fascinating dramaticpiece at the Martha Cohen TheatreSept. 23 to Oct. 11.Who doesn’t love whimsicalspontaneity? Loose Moose TheatreCompany features weekly improvisationshows on their stage inCrossroads Market. With crowdparticipation and a guarantee that youwill never see a similar performance,it’s a sure-fire way to get your creativejuices stirred, not shaken.What would you do if you wereplummeting, 30 feet from theground, only to find that your planshave gone horribly wrong? TheatreCalgary’s exhilarating production ofSkydive will be showing audiencesjust that. Renowned playwrightKevin Kerr explores two dissimilarbrothers caught in the throws of aperilous predicament. With aerialchoreography by Sven Johansson,this ingenious show will bedazzlespectators at the Max Bell Theatre,Oct. 14 to Nov. 2.Dance and theatre are productsof prosperity and in a bustling citysuch as Calgary, the cup doth certainlyrunneth over. From spectacularfeats of expressive choreography, toexploration of the darker sides ofhumanity, everyone will undoubtedlyfind something special to discoverfor themselves in the performing artscommunity of Calgary.Check out next week’s Gauntlet for all thehappenings in the fi lm world.

GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT SEPTEMBER 18.08 39Sloan’s music is action packedCanadian rock music staple isn’t even near the end of their success yetS l o a nm u s i c i n t e r v i e wDarren YoungGauntlet EntertainmentCanadian rock staples Sloanhave been on the verge ofsuccess for the better partof their career. The shaggy-hairedquartet have a cult following northof the border, but have consistentlycome up short in their attempts tobreak into the American mainstream.With their ninth release, Parallel Play,Sloan is proving that even though theymay not be topping the internationalcharts, they are still having their shareof fun.“I’m really happy [the membersof the band] are contributing to thesame goal,” says bassist Chris Murphy.“I’m not as interested in making a solorecord as keeping the band going. Aswe pass 160 or so recorded songs, Ithink, ‘I want to pass 200!’ ”A good chunk of Sloan’s 160-songcatalogue can be traced back to 2006’s30-song opus, Never Hear the End ofIt. The album was well-received bycritics, drawing many comparisonsto the Beatles’ Abbey Road due toits continuous structure and shortsongs that connect large sections ofthe album. Though Sloan may havefollowed up their longest album withtheir shortest, the style of Parallel Playpicks up where Never Hear the Endof It left off.“We were thinking, ‘What is themost obnoxious thing we could do?Put out another 30-song record?’ ” saysMurphy. “The last record was a littlerelentless, so we wanted to go short. Iwanted it even shorter, but there wasa 13th song on there.”Just as the title Never Hear the Endof It was somewhat of a joke on thelength of the album, Parallel Play isan extension of the same joke. Sloancommonly injects humour intotheir music, whether through lyricalcontent or album titles alone. Theirrecord Action Pact, for instance, refersto a “pact” the band made to write acommercially successful album. At themoment, the band is creating laughs bytouring with a fictitious radio personalitynamed Skip Lowe, who does fakeTV is awesome, guysThese guys are being very serious. This is serious business.broadcasts during their shows.“Skip Lowe is going to be froma fictitious radio station calledMRCH,” explains Murphy. “Hebroadcasts live from the merchbooth at the show. Most people eitherlove it or hate it, but it’s been generatingsome big laughs for me.”At this point, the most importantthing to Sloan is to have a good timedoing what they are doing. Theircommercial success has its limits,but Murphy is grateful he can supporthimself playing in the band andwants to keep the band going as longas he can.“I must say, I was never so much ofa genius,” says Murphy. “I really needcourtesy Indoor Recessthose guys and as a music fan, I grewup as a fan of bands. At some pointyou do need to sell some records, butwe do make enough to survive. We’rejust on the tip of people’s tongues.”Sloan plays the Gateway on Sept. 20. Doors openat 8 p.m.T V T i m e st v p r e v i e wHoang-Mai HongGauntlet EntertainmentThe Gauntlet slogs into the everexpandingquagmire of televisionand helps sort out the best shows onwhich to waste your time — away frommore productive pursuits, such as, say,school — from the dreck you’ll probablybe delighted to waste your timeon anyway.MondaysHow I Met Your Mother (CBS/E!)— This show is one of the few consistentlyhilarious comedies on TV andon CBS of all places. With Neil PatrickHarris and Forgetting Sarah Marshall’sJason Segel on board, HIMYM is underratedcomedic gold, as well one of themost likeable shows around.Gossip Girl (CW/CTV) — The O.C. isdead. Long live the O.C.: New York.Prison Break (Fox/Global) —Apparently that wasn’t Dr. Sarah’shead in that box. Oh snap!Heroes (NBC/Global) — After lastyear’s disastrous and messy season,the writers have returned to the moresimplified format of the first seasonthat focused on the more likable coreof main characters. Hopefully, despitethe stink of last season, most peoplewon’t have forgotten the first seasonwas actually kind of good.TuesdaysHouse (Fox/Global) — House hasmanaged to maintain its focus onstrictly medical drama without becomingstale or falling into a predictableformula and Hugh Laurie gets dreamierwith age and curmudgeonliness.Beverly Hills 90210 (CW/Global)— It’s more of the same teen dramafare (diet pills, remaining true toyourself, date rape, et cetera), exceptit tries to be less trashy. Snore.Fringe (Fox) — Joshua Jackson starsas the Mulder to newcomer AnnaTorv’s Scully on J.J. Abram’s new sci-fipet-project. Expect sharp writing andsexual tension galore between the twoextremely attractive leads.WednesdaysAmerica’s Next Top Model (CW/City) — The show’s trashiest “cycle”to date, featuring some controversialcharacters such as Isis, a pre-op transvestiteand a hilariously hoochified,post-boobjob, self-proclaimed “warriorprincess of Harlem.”Pushing Daisies (ABC/CTV) — Thissee tv fun, page 40

40 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENTTV fun, cont’d from pg. 39tale of a pie-maker who brings hischildhood sweetheart back from thedead, but can’t ever touch her again isall at once heartbreakingly romantic aswell as good, quirky fun as a murdermystery.Knight Rider (NBC) — An updateof the ’80s show, it features cameosby the Hasselhoff himself as MichaelKnight and Val Kilmer as the voice ofthe new KITT, now a Ford Shelby GT500 KR Mustang. It’s a guilty pleasure,but surprisingly good, too.ThursdaysKitchen Nightmares (Fox/Global)— Gordon Ramsay brings his selfrighteousnessto failing Americanrestaurants. Mixed with Americanproduction values — a.k.a. tons ofunnecessarily inserted drama — itmakes for a highly annoying, shoutfilledhour of television. Watch theBritish version on Food Network fora gentler side of the Scottish chef.30 Rock (NBC) — Tina Fey’s brilliantcomedy returns this season with thesame quality laughs, as well as a coupleof big time cameos appearances byJennifer Aniston and Oprah Winfrey,to name a few.The Office (NBC/Global) — Jim andPam are separated. Sort of. Tune into also see the continuingly horrifyingsaga of über-incompetent boss MichaelScott and his artificially inseminatedon again/off again girlfriend/boss,Jan. Co-creator of the original series,Stephen Merchant, will also be directingan episode this season.Kath & Kim (NBC) — Filling in forthe ousted Scrubs (moving to ABC),this comedy stars Molly Shannonand Selma Blair as a trashy motherdaughterteam that have drawn comparisonsto the stage mom antics ofDina Lohan and her daughter Ali onLiving Lohan.Grey’s Anatomy (ABC/CTV)— This show got trashy big timewith increasingly absurd storylines inthe soap opera vein. Prepare to startwatching again this season as theactually credible and aestheticallypleasing Scottish actor Kevin McKidd(Trainspotting, Lucius Vorenusfrom HBO’s Rome) joins the cast asDr. Cristina Yang’s new love interest.Survivor Gabon (CBS/Global)— Yeah, it’s still on. Poor, poor JeffProbst.Life On Mars (ABC) — A remake ofthe superb British series, the show hasa present-day detective who is hit by acar and wakes up in 1973. Notably itstars Harvey Keitel and the Sopranos’Michael Imperioli.FridaysLife (NBC/Global) — Damien Lewis(Band of Brothers) is another Britpassing for a Yank in an Americanprocedural. He’s darn good, but theshow itself doesn’t do much to discernitself from the vast sea of cop dramas.Catch him before the show is inevitablycancelled.SaturdaysSaturday Night Live (NBC/Global)— The season premiere this past weekendwas kind of awful, except for anappearance by Tina Fey as Sarah Palin.As the U.S. Election approaches, let’shope there’s more of the same. AndySamberg’s infamous “Digital Shorts”continues to churn out some absurdlyfunny, viral video fare.SundaysEntourage (HBO/Movie Central)— A good reason to have cable is HBOSunday viewing. Entourage continuesto deliver sharp, poignant comedy onwhat it’s like to be in show business.This season will see Vince try to restarthis career after the abject failure ofMedellin. The boys — plus agent Ariand his assistant Lloyd — also ventureon a “spiritual,” ’shroom-fuelled journeyinto the desert and Ari and Lloydcontinue their bro-mance amidst theJoshua trees.Dexter (Showtime/Movie Central)— The third season of this complexdrama about a vigilante psychopathicserial killer/blood splatter analystreturns with the addition of JimmySmits, the new detective who’s onto Dexter.The Simpsons (Fox/Global) — It’sstill around and it’s still pretty good.True Blood (HBO/Movie Central)— Vampires have acquired syntheticblood and have revealed themselves tohumans in this new HBO drama starringAnna Paquin. If you were kind ofpissed off by the Victorian restraint ofthe Twilight books, this cable vampireromance is for you.

ALBUM REVIEWSspunGAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT SEPTEMBER 18.08 41Mother MotherO My Heart(Last Gang Records)OMy Heart is a maze of musical majesty, only there are no dead endshere, just delightfully unexpected twists and turns. Intense and noteasily pigeon-holed into any real category, it’s a polyphonic gambitthat is exhilaratingly distinctive.Deviating from their preceding album Touch Up, Mother Mother trades theiracoustic foundations for a fuller, more polished sound. This change in productionhas watered down the inherent zaniness previously conveyed through therawness of their unique sound, however, the overall quality of the music is notdiminished. The band’s personality is instead redirected into a more complexuse of instrumentation, effectively creating a far from conventional sound.Each song is a veritable lyrical labyrinth and borrows from a diverse backgroundof genres, giving the album a truly eclectic feel. The lyrics are delivered expertfullyby the unorthodox dulcet voices of Ryan Guldemond, Molly Guldemondand Debra-Jean Creelman and it’s easy to get lost in the meandering nuancesand subtle word play of tracks such as “Miles.” While the overarching themeof the lyrics is that of an individual coming of age and dealing with feelings ofinadequacy, you’d be hard-pressed to find any overwrought clichés...Nicole DionneNatalie ColeStill Unforgettable(DMI)Listening to Still Unforgettable, one’s imaginationskips between the images of a mind-bogglingjazz show and some random bar with asinger who has been desperately looking for herbig break for years. Natalie Cole has an amazingand somewhat effortless voice in most of hersongs, but her background band left her out inthe open more than she should’ve been. Thealbum missed out on something that would’vemade them completely enjoyable and left potentiallying in the background. The drums did notimpress and, at times, the big band seemed likeit was just filling space when Cole wasn’t singing.While the first song of the cd does hold some charm,singing a love song with her long-dead father is justcreepy. Still, Cole persevered through to the lasttracks where some really impressive songs wereproduced and made the first tracks seem not asbad as they really were.Still Unforgettable has amazing moments near theend with “It’s All Right With Me,” “Something’sGotta Give” and “The Best Is Yet To Come,” whichsupport Cole’s shining musical reputation...Megan HodgsonBison B.C.Quiet Earth(Metal Blade)One year after the release of their debut EPEarthbound, Bison B.C. return with a new collectionof music and one sweet record deal.Featuring liner notes in the form of a hideouscollage with enough long hair and beards tomake anybody rethink their life, Quiet Earth iscomprised of eight songs and clocks in at justover 43 minutes. The group, founded by JamesFarwell of the seminal Vancouver punk bandS.T.R.E.E.T.S., took east Vancouver by surprisewith their surprisingly fresh take on ’80s thrash,a sound featured on Quiet Earth.With an emphasis on perfecting the soniconslaught of their instruments, the albumfeatures an admirable amount of sludgy, powerfulriffs and should get even the hippest ofthe hip violently head-banging. That said, theguttural growl and hoarse yell found in thesesongs dictate some of the most entertaining yetcompletely nonsensical lyrics this side of the MarsVolta. “The boreal breaks into barren lands / I toldthem not to trust these Indians,” beckons the aptlynamed track “Wendigo Pt. 1 (Quest For Fire).” Inthe song, “These Are My Dress Clothes,” one issimply inspired by the opening lines, “Bodies areburning, your love it ain’t earning / Arms are outreaching, our birth should have stayed in.” Eitherhe speaks of a post-apocalyptic prostitute or thisis a pro-choice song for the ages. While certainlynot bad musically, the vocals and lyrics on thisalbum leave a lot to be desired if you aren’t usingit as a soundtrack for a sick 20-man raid on Worldof Warcraft. It’s definitely suited for fans of Gwar,Three Inches of Blood or anyone in the mood forsome aggressive thrashin’...Jordan FritzBlind MelonFor My Friends(Adrenaline)It has been 13 years since the lead singer of BlindMelon died, nine years since the band officiallybroke up and two years since the financial successof compilations and tribute albums have broughtthe band back together.The surviving members of Blind Melon recruitedTravis Warren to resemble — read: replace —Shannon Hoon on vocals and he does a mediocrejob, to say the least. Not to say the album is terrible.There are a couple of really good tracks — like“Sometimes,” a laid back, honest track and “Downon the Pharmacy,” a diverse song with conviction— but it sounds like the remaining members ofBlind Melon are trying to recreate the chemistryand sound that they had with Hoon — as Warrenaptly sings in “Harmful Belly,” “Why would you everchange?” — but it just doesn’t pan out. Granted, itwas an interestingly brave choice to select a singerwith a style that so closely reminds listeners of thetragic death of the previous lead singer.If one were to take this album out of context andpretend that this band did not have the infamousbee girl on the cover of their debut album (yes, itis that band), it might be receiving more attentionor better reviews. All of the tracks seem to evokeHoon’s spirit, which seems much less relevant adecade later, and exposes the original membersof Blind Melon as musicians who are unable toevolve...Michelle Carlson

42 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLETEditor: Nicole Dionne—eandp@gauntlet.ucalgary.caTHEATREThe Royal Winnipeg Ballet will takeyou to Neverland with Peter Pan.Shows are at the Southern AlbertaJubilee Auditorium Sept. 18–20 at7:30 p.m., with a matineeperformance Sat., Sept. 20 . Ticketsare $38–$90 at Ticketmaster.A Raisin In the Sun won’t make youshrivel. Shows are at the Max BellTheatre, Sept. 18 to Oct. 5 at7:30 p.m. Tickets are $25.70–$66 atTicketmaster.The enchanting Carol Burnett will begracing audiences at the SouthernAlberta Jubilee AuditoriumSun., Sept. 21. She will be makingher appearance at 7:30 p.m. Ticketsare $49–$89 at Ticketmaster.Alberta Theater Projects presentsKevin Kerr’s Unity, 1918 at the MarthaCohen Theatre. Shows are Sept. 23to Oct. 11 7:30 p.m. and tickets are$18–55 at TicketmasterGuaranteed to be a purrfect play,Cats will be presented at theSouthern Alberta Jubilee AuditoriumSept. 23–28 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are$50–$70 at Ticketmaster.CONCERTSGet serious with Elliott Brood downat The Warehouse on Thu., Sept. 18.Show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are$15 at Ticketmaster.Neil Diamond will be sharingsome rather beautiful noise at theSaddledome on Thu., Sept. 18at 8 p.m. Tickets are $55–$120 atTicketmaster.The benign Cancer Bats will beplaying at SAIT’s Gateway onFri., Sept. 19 and Sun., Sept. 21.Swooping in at 8 p.m., tickets are $15at Ticketmaster.Josh Gabriel climbs on stage at theWarehouse. He performs this featof locomotion Fri., Sept. 19. Doorsopen at 9 p.m. and tickets are $20 atTicketmaster.The Nylons won’t run onto theStampede Casino stageFri., Sept. 19 at 9 p.m. Tickets are$40.95 at Ticketmaster.Four is Less Than Jake. The proof willbe demonstrated at MacEwan Hall onSat., Sept. 20. Doors open at 7 p.m.Tickets are $27.50 at Ticketmaster.escapes & pursuitsSloan will be playing nicely withCurrie & the Country French downover at SAIT’s Gateway. The magichappens Sat., Sept. 20 at 8 p.m.Tickets are $ 20 at Ticketmaster.Air Supply prove they’re still alive andkicking at Stampede Casino onSat., Sept. 20. Show starts at 9 p.m.and tickets are $92.40 at Ticketmaster.There’s plenty of testosterone to goaround between Method Man andRedman. They’ll be at the Whiskey onSun., Sept. 21. Show starts at 9 p.m.and tickets are $49.99 at Ticketmaster.The sweet soulful melodies of NdidiOnukwulu will be heard resonatingfrom the University Theatre onMon., Sept. 22. Show starts at 8 p.m.and tickets are $24.50 at Ticketmaster.Faber Drive will be pulling intoSAIT’s the Gateway onWed., Sept. 24. Show starts at 8 p.m.and tickets are $10 at TicketmasterThe Golden Dogs are house trained,and ready to rock the LibertyLounge. The magic happensWed., Sept. 24. The doggie door willbe open at 8 p.m. and tickets are$12.50 at Ticketmaster.1 Calgary International Film Festival. This weekmarks the beginning of the annual festival.It’s a great chance to check out flicks froma wide variety of genres. It also providesan opportunity to see the dynamics ofinternational styles of story telling.2. Join a club. Clubs Week comes only twicea year, but learning interesting/completelyuseless skills sets is a joy that will last alifetime.3. Go take a nap outside. You need to soak in allthe sunlight you can while you can. Winter is acold and terrible mistress, and she’s coming.4. Walk instead of driving. Gas sure isexpensive, so it’s a good way to save moneyand feel superior to people who driveSPORTSThe women’s hockey team will bekeeping their sticks on the ice againstSAIT on Mon., Sept. 22. The puck hitsthe ice at 5:30 p.m.MISC.The Calgary International FilmFestival gets underway Sept.19–28. Aschedule of individual film screeningsand events, as well as tickets, areavailable on the festival’s officialwebsite, calgaryfilm.comTHINGS TO DOThe Calgary Homeless Foundationwill be hosting its second ProjectHomeless Connect at City Hall. It’s agreat way to make positive changeand get involved in your community.The event takes place onSat., Sept. 20.Fit from the Inside Out is a freelecture discussing obesity, diabetes &exercise. It takes place in the AdidasBoardroom in Kinesiology onSept. 26 at 12 p.m. You should get upoff your butt and go.

44 SEPTEMBER 18.08 GAUNTLETEditor: Gina Freeman—illustrations@gauntlet.ucalgary.cacomicsBy Hannah McKenzieSUBMITA COMIC TO THE GAUNTLET!EMAILILLUSTRATIONS@GAUNTLET.UCALGARY.CAORDROP BY THE OFFICEMACEWANSTUDENT CENTREROOM 319MAKING RULES - xkcd.comRandall Monroe